The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #16 Talking Skeletons

Episode Date: April 16, 2021

Between you and Nikki, she really doesn't want the job of being a marketing guru for herself. She wakes Andrew up with her "emotional smell" and in the news he shares an uplifting story about a man who fixed his life up with falcons. They discuss cheating revenge and in Andrew's Weekly Sports moment they cover UFC trash talking on social media. They go through some listener mail about a topic that makes Andrew buzz, laughter and share sentiment for someone going through financial difficulty.Send us an email: [e-mail] to be part of the show! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hey, guys. Good morning. Oh, it's the final show of the week.

Four days a week. We really do it here at the Nikki Glaser podcast thank you Noah thanks to you know we're still new so I like to give some shout outs to everyone who's listening subscribing writing reviews writing into the show following

us on our private Instagram account Nikki Glaser pod where we post exclusive content reviews, writing into the show, following us on our private Instagram account, NikkiGlazerPod, where we post exclusive content, where I show more skin. Sometimes I show more... I'm just showing a side of myself. I talked about it yesterday, but just leaning into

my true self because I feel like that's what I'm presenting here on the podcast and that I don't have as many creepers or people who just follow me to hate me, which I know sounds crazy, but like on my actual account, like if I post something, it, or that like has my bikini shot or like me looking really pretty. And it's just a picture of me looking hot. yesterday andrew had me i took all the he took all these pictures of me in this like amazing green jumper

between you and me noah i looked yes like i looked pretty good yesterday and this green jumper i like you did you see it it has like no it's like a very middle boob exposing it was for the shot that i did for the show it's the second last taping of the show. And it was like, I don't know if the look really matched the tone of the show, but this jumper was just like on my rack all season. We were trying to make it work.

And so we shoved it in. We didn't even have to shove it into yesterday. I like demanded it. It just made me feel amazing. I felt like Cher, like on the Sonny and Cher show. Like it was just so It was just so cute. Anyway, Andrew took some pictures of me while I was waiting to go to set. And I was holding

this guitar that is always in my green room at this house where we shoot the show. And then Andrew was like, send me some pictures to post on Nikki Glaser Pod. And I was like, okay. So I sent him. I edited this one and he posted it yesterday. And by the way, we always say who writes it because sometimes I'll post on there and sometimes he will. So if it says heart NG, that's a me post. If it's

AC, it's Andrew. And if it's NOAA, it's not applicable. No. Oh, no. It's Noah. But yesterday, he wrote one and he said A, C, and N, G. And I guess technically, I had nothing to do with it. I do have to talk to him about that and say, listen, Andrew, I had nothing to do with that. I did send you that picture and doctorate for you to send. But that was you posting it. Because I just still feel stupid posting a picture where I'm like, I look hot here. Honestly, it's uncomfortable for me.

The other day, I posted one on my main account. This is not interesting. I'm sorry to people, but it's all a part of the struggle to love oneself. On my main account, Andrew was like, hey, we could post a Nikki Glaser pod all day. But I think it's still good to drive people to our podcast on your main account because I'm really bad at promotion i i love that andrew is your social media manager i said that to him oh did noah say that i should post more and he's like no it's just like i think that it would be really good like he goes and by the way our numbers we got like 900 new subscribers because of that post and i was like okay you're right this shit does translate so i posted this like kind of sultry picture on my own instagram page where I'm not like wearing a lot of skin but I'm

making like a sexual face but it was just because I was feeling like sexy or what I don't know and and it just feels so stupid posting things where you're like I just look good and the purpose of this is because I I think I look good do you know what I mean like it just look good. And the purpose of this is because I think I look good. Do you know what I mean? Like it's not, that wasn't the purpose. The purpose was to post a hot picture of myself to get people's attention or a pretty looking picture, pleasing to the eye aesthetically

because I'm on a beach, because it has good aperture setting. I don't know. I learned about photography last night. I'll get into that later if I, but obviously I didn't because I don't know what I'm talking about. The ISOs were decent on it. Um, but you know, like it was pleasing to the eye to then steer people to the caption, which would steer people to the podcast, which is truly like what I'm very proud of. And I can stand behind and say, this is great. Um, sometimes I have a really hard time posting anything of myself i don't post stand-up

clips i have andrew thinks i brag about all the time i have three uh i have the equivalent of like three and a half no i have equivalent of four hours of stand-up online probably more of original material with two hour specials two half hour three half hour specials um tv shows and then multiple sets on conan it's it's like more than four hours of material in my 17 year long career and since i've been doing stand-up on tv since 2006 so for 15 or no 2009 so you know i should have that much material but I don't take those clips and make anything of it, even though people have never seen the standup that I put out early. And it, or even like,

because I don't want to put it out there and then have people, I like when people go, you know what? I like Nikki Glaser. I'm going to go to Netflix and I'm going to watch Bangin'. You have accountability.

You went to Netflix, you pressed on Bangin'. When, so it's the same psychology as when you ask someone to grab you something like, no, I like, if I asked you, Hey, can you grab me that glass of water? And you went and got it. You like me more than before I asked you for the glass of water, because your psychology is why am I grabbing her this glass of water that she could get herself? I must like her. And so your brain convinces, even though you do like me and you're doing it

as a favor. And that is part of it. When,'s effort on your... When you give away free tickets to a comedy show, people don't like it as much as if they paid $40. When you get a tattoo... Have you ever seen the show Ink Master? It's like a tattoo reality show. There are some awful tattoos that happen on that show. I mean, it's like Project Runway for tattoos. There's going to be bad, bad garments, uh, make it work. Sometimes they don't. That was a Tim gun impression. I don't know if you caught that. So, but the thing is my ex-boyfriend and I used to watch that show and we realized that no one ever hates their tattoo right away. Maybe you regret it down the line, but right away, there's this cognitive dissonance that happens because you chose it, because you have this permanent thing,

because you invested in it. You will not hate it. So when people invest in seeing me, whether it's clicking on a link and downloading it or paying for a show, they're going to like me more than if I just am throwing a clip in their face on Instagram, it leaves me much more open to ridicule. It leaves... Because if a clip comes up and you're just like, not in the mood to see my screaming face, there's a chance you're going to go, ugh, and go and maybe scrutinize it more and hate me

and not like it and think it's not funny because it's out of context for you because it was following a picture of a dog with its eye falling out of his head because you also follow a lot of stray rescue accounts like me throwing a clip in your face like i have been it happens to me i have ended up being annoyed and like and not fan of someone because i saw a clip that was shoved in my face that i watched on my own volition but not really It was almost like I was clip raped. And I am saying that not jokingly,

but it's in the sense that like, something was forced upon me that I didn't want. But I let it happen because it was like harder to maybe skip over it. Or that maybe they're like, I didn't mean to use that word jokingly. I really didn't. And so please don't come after me for it. But you know what I'm saying? So anyway, I don't like to use that word jokingly. I really didn't. And so please don't come after me for it. But you know what I'm saying?

So anyway, I don't like putting things out there that Instagram is forcing people to like shoving things in their face without them having any effort. That's why I like the Nikki Glaser pod because you have to actually like ask, request access to it, which gives you a little autonomy in the whole process so when we put out

shit in front of you and i put up video of me talking to a cow you don't go what the fuck it's like you you asked for this bitch yeah following our account is like a part of the research that people and the effort that people would be making yeah as a part of the money you'd pay to see a ticket or to buy a ticket right I would be so much more famous. And I'm sorry, I don't want to... I'm happy with my level. I would be so much more successful if I could get over this fear I have of promoting myself. But I'm just not comfortable with it. I deep down feel like I am not good enough and that I'm a fraud. And listen, guys, I know I'm talented because I've been doing it long enough that you can't do something this long and not be talented So by virtue of just me doing it i'm talented, but I still have these fears

that I'm not good enough And it's really hard for people to understand who love me so much like my fans and even like my friends or romantic partners because a lot of times, in my past and present, someone I really care about will make a joke about my looks. And that's another thing. My looks, I just don't... No matter what you say,

at this point in my life, I do love the way my body is. I do think I'm beautiful. But there's a little part of me that's a 15-year-old girl, 16 probably, who feels very ugly and is mad that I was born, telling my parents I was mad that they even had sex because they could make a child as ugly as me and just felt so ugly. And this isn't to be like, wah, wah, poor Nikki. I mean, it is sad, but that person's still in me. So when I read a comment that says you look like Larry Bird

or when I read a comment that says you look gaunt or why are you so orange? Your arms look like Iggy Pops. Okay, they didn't say that, but yesterday my arms literally were so thin and like muscular. They looked like Iggy Pops and I, they didn't say that, but yesterday my arms literally were so thin and muscular. They looked like Iggy Pops. And I was just waiting for that comment

to happen because right now I'm really skinny. I don't like it. It makes me feel uncomfortable because it makes me feel like I'm trying to be that way. And people get mad at you when you lose too much weight. As a woman, they are like, what are you doing? You need to eat.

And it's like, I'm not being sneaky. I'm losing weight because I'm so happy. And it's hard for me to eat when I'm happy. And I'm trying. So anyway, all I'm saying is that no matter how successful I get or how beautiful I feel, I still have these fears that I'm not. There's a part of me that always questions that I'm ugly. And maybe I need to get a thicker skin. But I'm really skinny right now. And I don't want to be thick. So that's my diatribe today.

I think I started off making a different point. But it's always the same here. I always end with some kind of epiphany. And not really. I'm talking in circles. But let's get Andrew Coll calling here in the mix. He's been waiting upstairs, like a little anxious kid waiting for Christmas morning, Andrew.

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Ripe today. Hey, Andrew. Good morning, Nikki. I am really sorry, buddy. I am, the pits are cranking right now. The pits are cranking and you start smelling. You're kind of smelly and I'm kind of yelling because your pits smell like an onion shit. No, it just smells like a woman that got a spray tan three days ago and still hasn't used uh soap oh god it's like

giving me a headache should i get in there no no let me see get away come on just let me see andrew how did you sleep god damn it just rub your hand on your armpit and i'll smell your hand you really want to smell my armpit live i want to smell them let me smell smell it. I am. I'm ready. Like, I just. How bad is it? It's just B.O. It's the worst you've ever had, though. No, no, no. This is just B.O. Like, it's just me being like a sleepy B.O.

pit. Oh, my God. Right? Like, what does that mean to you? What does that feel like to you? It's so warm. I never knew you could smell warmth. It is so hot.

It's like burning your nostrils. It's like a hot skunk rolled in fucking old garbage. It's like you vaped too hard. Oh, stop it. Why is someone else's BO? So gross. It's like another person's fart, I guess. No, dude.

Mine right now is so bad. I came home this morning, and then I went back to bed. i got in bed and i was like i need to shower i can't even like be with myself in bed because i just like am so um that's like an emotional smell like i've been just like crying and being sad a lot and so it's it's it's bad but thank you for smelling it and i'm really i think it brought us closer together in the sense that you whatever you were feeling when i was walking down the dock the other day just like your your dick just went back inside your body yeah it's shooting out your ass but that's maybe your tail pheromones and whatever the hell that is oh god uh you know some people say that they could tell like women can tell when a guy just fucked like

maybe the night before two nights before and they're more turned on because of the pheromones yeah that's the opposite of that but what do you think you can tell when a guy are you more turned on when a guy's been fucking you think probably because he just has like uh i don't know the answer to that but like because he has like he's more like confident because he has been fucking. So he's like walks around like I've been fucking like. Like he's in a John Travolta movie. Like Saturday Night Fever. I've been fucking.

I'm actually probably closeted. You're pretty good at snapping. It's not bad. Snapping disgusts me if you really think about it because it's like your bones like cracking and like snap. It's like that's your bone, I think. The other day I was thinking about. Right? You know what?

I don't think it's your bone. I think it's just like your skin. You think it's skin? Yeah. I think it's bone. The other day I was thinking about the inside of my body. It's the same thing with space. We were talking about space.

We don't want to think about space because it's too vast. But if you really start thinking about your organs are inside you and your skeleton and your tissues and your ligaments. I always think about how everybody looks like a skeleton. Everyone looks like a laughing skeleton. When people are talking and saying, Obama's giving

his inaugural speech, he still likes Mars attacks. If you've ever seen Mars attacks on the alien stock, everyone looks like a smiling skeleton. There's no such thing as a sad skeleton all skeletons are smiling and also yeah your insides are disgusting when i poop i'm always like that poop was like in me all day like i was carrying around that poop when i like held like when i

carry poops for uh six days the other day you were like i finally pooped it's been like six days or whatever i didn't realize it because I was just squeezing out little nervous rabbit turds and then the one day it just all came out. I think that's what's going on right now. Whenever I get a headache, I think my poop is poisoning my body

and it's like, that's probably what's coming out of my armpits is my poop. It's backed up to that. I just smelled your shit through your armpits. I wish my shit smelled that good. Wait, so wait, no, but if you're in my shit, it probably smells better than my pits. Did you put deodorant on last night? No, yesterday morning.

And then I didn't shower after I worked all day and sweated in different clothes. And I didn't shower since yesterday morning. And I had a long day and usually a shower right after the set but I just was like not in the mood for it do you ever come home and you smell yourself and you go wow that probably wasn't so appetizing for the person I might have been with um no because I mean like I I have been like hooking up and last night i was going to like shower before seeing that person but i also was like this person uh if if my body odor were to repel this person at this point like it wasn't this bad this is slept in and cried and sweated that would kill a village yeah yeah this is like

a sarin gas this is a chemical weapon but last last night it was like, North Korea should bottle that. Low grade. Oh yeah. Yeah. This was low grade last night. And I was just like, I don't feel like taking a shower. I got to keep the spray tan for tomorrow's finale taping.

And, and I, when I'm into someone, I like love the way they smell when they stink. So, I feel. Like bad? Like,

like bad, bad? Well, like, I think that if a normal person smelled that person i would be like like i'm like a kind of a pervert for like someone's stinkiness because you feel closer to them because no i'm just like horny for smells like i i was talking to someone about like like aging and and like attraction like as you grow older and like,

oh, you know, like would we work down the road? We work. Yeah. Would we go to those like offices that they set up in Manhattan for people to like join together? And I go, it's interesting because yeah, we'll change the way we look will change

and maybe you won't be as sexually attracted to me and I won't be as sexually attracted to you as we age, because that's just like, you know, but so much of my attraction to this person is smell. Like it's like a huge percentage. And that's, I hope, I mean, even though we had the article the other day about old people getting a smell, as long as that undertone, the first notes of the scent are like the original like that's pretty that's consistent i feel like as you age smell and that's undeniable like when you've been in love or anything like that do you feel like their smell you just became addicted to are you not a smell guy um i guess i i noah what about you are you a smell girl yeah it's i'm not a huge

smell guy i think you're you're talking about musk Like a musk yeah Like picking up a dirty shirt or even their dirty underwear And just sniffing it like you are trying to Chloroform yourself You're damn right I do You'll smell a man's dirty underwear Like not with shit stains in it but like

Or like a sweater or like over shirt Underwear Like I have not done that Recently but in the past when i've been really into someone i've just been like it just likes like i don't mind the smell of like balls and junk like because it doesn't even smell like shit or piss or whatever it just like so what do you do with that it's like a your dog smelling your crotch it's like this is the utmost area where i just like smell it like gently and just like put it back down on the ground I don't know and then like put it in the wash because I was picking up laundry for him I think

did you tell him this yeah I have admitted this openly but no no I'm not judging it I just think did it turn you does it turn you on yeah I like love the smell of uh a man that I'm in love with I like love the stink of a hardworking, sweaty man. I like your bad breath. I don't want to smell a woman's panties. I talked to some panty smellers on my show, Not Safe. They would steal women's underwear from the laundromat and were obsessed with women's panties. But you would never smell a woman's crotch or panties?

I've looked at them before and I'm like, should I smell that? And then I'm like, I don't know if I could go back. You've tasted your own shit off your finger, yet you won't smell a woman's panties that was that was months ago that's true his own that's his own when it's your own i i wouldn't be offended i don't think that maybe like everyone's the same way i don't feel like it needs to be mutual like oh my god if you if i like your underwear you have to like mine i think everyone's different i'm so glad that that's why i was so scared of getting covet i was like sent to me is like so important and i didn't realize how important it was also i feel like in a way like the the girl that i'm dating probably wouldn't want me to smell

her dirty panties without asking at least yes i would love if someone asked me and i'd be like were you sure but like no if i just walked in the room, that's why I was upfront about it. I was like, when I smelled my boyfriend back in the day, I was like, babe, I like am really gross for you. Like I smelled your underwear.

Like I just like the smell of your, like, I don't want to ever smell this poop or it's like, I hate when I go in the bathroom and like smell their poop that I'm not like, yes, my boyfriend's shit. Like that is disgusting to me. But like the,

the musk, like Noah said said i love before i fuck a girl i go go take a shit don't flush and uh and bring it back for me and bring it back in a little baggie rub it on your put it on your wrists and rub it together and like spritz some water in there and walk through it do you think kylie jenner could sell shit in a bag and girls would be like yes oh my god she's so ahead of her time i sell shit in a bag and girls would be like, oh my God, she's so ahead of her time. I love shit in a bag.

Oh my God. Speaking of Kylie Jenner. Or Khloe. I mean, Khloe. Yeah. I mean, we were going to talk about it today, but we don't have time right now. Maybe we'll save it for final thought or maybe we'll save it for. Tomorrow or Monday.

Monday. Or we'll probably forget about it because everything like in the news we forget about because we're all just talking skeletons. Picture our skeletons going, Mars attacks. Okay, let's get to the news. Oh, we got some good ones. You heard it here first.

Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, boy, do we got some good news. And guess what, folks? You heard it here first. I hope you're having fun out there and having all the swells. Swells. Swells. Let's see here.

First story, y'all. This is a doozy. A man is saved by falconry from a life of drugs and crime. Now he helps birds and at-risk youth have a better life. What just happened there? I said youth wrong. Youth is a very tough word for me. Have you ever seen

the two youths? It's from my cousin, Vinny. No. Oh, it's great. He goes, the two what?

Youths? Youths. Yeah, the youths. Are they saying youths? Yeah. Oh. It's Joe Pesci.

Youths. Okay, so a man is saved by falconry. Yes. Okay. So this guy, Rodney Stotts, spent his 20s dealing drugs in southeast Washington, D.C. during the crack epidemic.

Daring? Daring. The ancient sport of capturing juvenile raptors and helping them survive to adulthood when they can take care of themselves mirrors his own experiences and uh he's you know if you could rehab a bird he could rehab himself and help others and i know how much you love birds thank you for choosing this i know that's why i picked it you went to the bird sanctuary recently yeah i went to the cayman parrot sanctuary in uh grand cayman um it was so fun i posted a video of it yesterday where i was petting two girls that were holding guinea pigs um oh my god look at the photo of the

look at this guy falconry saves man from life of crime um yeah it's like birds are incredible and i i don't know why animals are incredible. I connect with like these kind of birds. What are you showing here? An owl, a Falcon, like shit like that. But like on every day, like pigeon or something like Mike Tyson had a bunch of pigeons that he loved,

but I can't connect to a bird. I think their head is too small. Does that make sense? Like I can't, their eyes are really little. Like I just feel no. They have beady eyes. And so you can't feel like it doesn't have eyes are really little like i just feel no beady your eyes and so you can't feel like it doesn't have like as much of a human eye and that's what people like they eat animals that have beady eyes and then they don't that have like kind eyes some people

are like vegetarians that way however i think that birds with beady eyes like like a budgie, parakeet, little parrots, a cockatiel that have these black eyes that don't have a lot of expression are my favorite animals and are so cute and have such personalities. And so pretty much you're just wrong. Oh, I'm not trying to be right. No, no, no. I get what you're saying. But there's certain dog breeds that I'm just like, they're not human- so i get mad but it's like wait i'm getting a zevia really quick keep talking well maybe okay nikki's gone right now so this is my moment uh guys i just okay i'll just do it normal she's yelling at me from the from far away uh no, but I honestly think birds, Noah,

you know, birds to me, they just like, they don't do enough. They don't hug you. They don't put their, I guess they could put their head on your shoulder a little bit, but I need something to cuddle me. I need something to hold me. I need something. They hold on

to your finger with their little claws. claws yeah they the best feeling i get it you know like but that's why a bird can't lay on its side uh i get it spoon a bird i understand but animals aren't for you to offer you comfort like that's not the goal of animals that's not what that's not what i get for animal from animals is like oh this animal cuddles me and so it's like more worthy like the other day on set i did a q a with the cast because we were just like getting a shot that didn't need audio and so i was like it's a drone shot we can we can talk about literally anything i go does anyone have any questions and one of them goes dogs or cats and i go well you know in terms of a pet i would prefer a dog but i don't like dogs more than cats i love

all animals equally and i really meant that like i love spiders as much as i love birds i mean i prefer to be around a bird but like i love i have compassion and feel uh like every animal has a soul and like a it could be me you know know, like I believe, I don't believe in reincarnation, but I do believe like for us to be humans being like, oh, I'm just going to eat animals and kill spiders and get those glue traps and trap like these animals and, and thinking like I could never be that spider. I'm so much better than a spider. I'm a human.

That's insane to me. Like I understand we're more intelligent creatures but that doesn't mean we're more worthy i just i have i had an awakening where i realized that i am not as a human more important because i'm capable of cuddling than an animal that isn't and because of that i'm better than you no that is not what i'm saying at all would you give your life for a spider? No, of course not. Because my life, and this isn't the real reason, but my life will contribute to more animals being saved if I live

than if that spider dies. How would you feel about a spider if a spider... And that's not why. It's because I want to live. How would you feel, though, if the spider was huge and was threatening to kill you? Self-defense is always okay if you feel like if you're going to die. But when you – there's no reason to kill an animal unless it's – you feel like that it's like a fight to the death.

There's just no reason in my opinion. Well – And I'm sure that there are many reasons that could be brought forth that I would go, oh, actually, that's it. It's an invasive species and it's ruining like, but unless it's threatening life on a massive scale, I just don't see why things should be needlessly murdered.

But it tastes good and I like my rib eye steak. What are we going to do with all the cows? We have to kill them because there's millions of cows. If we just stopped eating meat now, what do we do with all those cows and pigs? Okay, let's just murder all the ones that we have right now and just stop it after that. How about that? Does that sound good to everyone?

That's not a bad solution. I don't have a problem with killing the animals. That's not my problem. My problem is how animals are treated before they die. I am not scared of death, but I am scared of a life of suffering for myself. I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of a life of suffering for myself i'm not scared of dying i'm scared or dying young i'm just true i'm just scared i just don't like the way animals are treated before they die andrew next story well that answered my question people are just like

oh god nikki get off your fucking high horse and kill the horse too yeah kill the horse for me nikki. Get off your low horse. And you know what? I will because it's, yeah. Get off your tiny little. It's threatening me having fans and so I will kill that horse that I'm on. Next story. I hope you're still having fun out there. I know that rant was tough, but hey, look.

It's not tough. I have to stand up for animal rights. Animals don't have voices. I'm sorry. People just have to put up with it twice a week. That's all I ask. And the animal rights people that have written me and said keep talking really appreciate it next story also i'm not anti-animals here i feel like we're we're going uh i don't think you are i'm just trying to enlighten you to like i think you're a compassionate person and you can extend it to every animal and maybe not eat meat anymore but i don't judge you that you do and you're still in my life and i would date someone who's not a vegan but he was a little next story yeah a lot of people that's the question how is it

with hanging out with a vegan when you're not a vegan i never talk about being a vegan it's so good i it's it's not something i ever judge people people eat meat around me all the time in by the way just one last thing literally this will be my final thing for a couple weeks. I promise you guys If you can just eat vegan one meal a week great. I am so happy. It's not like all or nothing I'm, not a perfect vegan things slip through I eat altoids sometimes when I need it and they have gelatin in them I'm, not perfect by any means but just do your best. That's all I ask. I know I had a cheeseburger yesterday and it was delicious Oh, man, I had impossible burger. I'm all into it. I had a cheeseburger yesterday, and it was delicious. Oh, man. I had an Impossible Burger. I'm all into it. I had a Possible Burger. Next story.

Japanese woman auctions husband's Yu-Gi-Oh cards for $188,000. Whoa. After she found out he cheated on her. Ooh. Yeah. So, you know, he was unfaithful. So she sold these. I don't know what kind of cards these are.

I guess they're really nice Pokemons or something. I mean, obviously, they're collector's items. Yeah, Yu-Gi-Oh. You've never heard of Yu-Gi-Oh? No. What? Really? I don't fucking know anything about anime, but I know what Yu-Gi-Oh is.

I know a lot of people are into stuff like this. I don't get it. I don't get it. I would love to. I wish I had a hobby like this to be into this. But the thing is, I can't believe you've gone your life and never heard of Yu-Gi-Oh! Because I don't know anything about these characters, but I at least know... I've never seen Predator, but I was able to do an impression of Predator yesterday.

I get that. You know what I mean? Just because you haven't heard of something doesn't mean you don't know the references. Here's the thing. Seeing it on the screen, I go, I've seen that before. I don't recognize that character. But I recognize the name Yu-Gi-Oh. I guess we process information differently.

I know Uno. Uno. Okay, so this woman sold her cards after she got him cheating on her? Here's the, yeah, I want to know at what point when someone cheats, what, remember the Bobbit lady that chopped her husband's dick off? I chopped my husband's dick off clean, and then I threw it in my neighbor's... Magazine. Mowed, clean mowed lawn.

He had to go and look for it across the road. And then I went back inside and went to bed. And then my husband had a whole career in his head because I chopped off his dick. And it was what I wanted to do. That's Carrie Underwood's new song about Lorena Bobbitt. But everyone, when she chopped off his dick, people were like, motherfucker cheated. So long, dick. Like at what point?

Yeah, people were really proud of her. Yeah. That's crazy. Didn't she throw it out the car it takes two to tango uh if you get sorry for people who have been cheated on and don't want to hear this like you like not that it's no one's fault i don't even blame people who cheat on cheating it's just like and i don't blame just you if cheat on cheating. It's just like, and I don't blame this. You, if you find out your husband cheats and it's,

you're totally blindsided and you've been lied to for years and like, but he's a fucking sociopath and you've been completely misled. And it's like, you, that really must be so painful to feel that deceived. And it must cause you to do things like sell his Yu-Gi-Oh cards or cut off his penis. I acknowledge that hurt, but okay, then let's

move on and pick up the pieces and go on and mourn it and cry, but I just... Maybe that's what you need to do. You need to do something drastic once. You get one drastic thing I love revenge, but it's not healthy. But I think one drastic, then you could let it go.

I think you cut someone's dick off. You don't need to cut his dick off every day mentally after that. You know what I mean? I'm not saying cut the cheater's dick off, but maybe do something drastic. Maybe tell his mom he died. Divorce him. Leave him. Never talk to him again.

That's how I do it. That's how, if a man hurts me, I go, never talk to me again. You never get to ever have me in your life again. And that is like, almost like cutting off a dick.

Because if, if I'm the person that, What if you have kids though? Well, that's, yes, that's, well,

I'd say, well, then I'm the mother of your children. And like, that's, yes, that's, well, I'd say, well, then I'm the mother of your children and like that's, and we can talk about the kids and have that relationship. But outside of that, you will get nothing from me ever again. There's no like, you've betrayed me and I can't trust you. So I will proceed like this. And I listen, this is as someone who's not been cheated on like this.

And so I can't, um, I'm sorry to women who have and are like, fuck you, bitch. You have no idea what it's like and the pain. And I hope I never do know, but I do hope that those women go on and those men who've been cheated on just can completely detach and not be so focused on the revenge. I recently like got hurt

and all I wanted to do was like, God, I just want to go fuck someone else. Like, fuck you. I want to find someone to have sex with right away. I've never had that instinct. And it was so gross to me because that doesn't solve anything. Yeah. And as your roommate, you were looking at me real weird.

No, I know. I saw you were very emotional last night. And I just – I had the thought of like can I find someone to have sex with that will – that this person – it could – and it was a second of a thought. But it's never – that's the kind of revenge that's never occurred to me, and it's really ugly because that doesn't solve anything. And if anything, it opens me up to diseases and intimacy problems with whoever I choose next. And it would just be such an ugly response. But sometimes that first thought is the one you need to have to go, okay, what's the second thing I can do that's maybe a better thing for myself and others? Friday guy without diseases. Yeah, but it's hard to check. In one night, you got to find someone quick. All right, next story.

Oh, man, these are doozies, boy. Man, people definitely are having fun, I bet. The weekend's here, you know. My birthday's coming up. Everything's fun. Yeah. Okay. Got that in.

Maybe we'll go to the sports story here. Oh. Yeah, I think we're ready for the sports moment. Yeah, Noah will bring up her Oregon Trail. Real media player, 1997. VLC. Okay, here we go. Here's Andrew's weekly sports moment.

Sounding thrilled. She loves this, folks. I give you one segment a week to talk about sports. Let's see how you do. You haven't really brought it the past couple times. What are you talking about? I have brought it. I've made stories at Tiger Woods.

You've been into them. Okay. You don't like stats. You don't need to make it. Yeah, Shaquille O'Neal last week. That's true. You don't need to make it palatable for me. I didn't know if I didn't give you that instruction.

I kind of want to be educated, too, about sports and these things, too. Well, yeah. Someone wrote me to go. This one's going to be good. Stop being a little bitch and like. Do a real sports story. Do a real sports story. Don't freaking dumb it down for Nikki.

You said that Kansas wasn't in the finals and you got all the stats wrong. So I don't know if that person should trust you with real sports. Yeah. Well. Oh, no. Let me just say to preface this. The other night, SportsCenter was on all day here. All day. Okay. It was just like. Not all day. No, dude center was on all day here all day okay it was just like

not all day no dude it was all day andrew and it's fine boys do this all the time but i have an interest not because i was annoyed but because i just wanted to understand like do you just like it on the background is like to just keep you company or is there like something special going on in sports right now that you're keeping up with? And I go, is this like a good sports time? And Andrew goes, well, I don't, it's like, it's like, I don't know what sport he got so defensive. And he goes, I go, what's, what is like the season? He goes like, well, baseball just started. There's 160 games a year.

They're in like their like first 10 games. So like that's something I go, well, that's, that's like the opposite of sports being meaningful right now. So like baseball is not meaningful at all right now.'s like very early season so count that out and i go march madness is obviously done i go what about um i go what about nba i go when are the finals are those coming up and he goes um i go what month are the finals and he goes i don't know he goes june i maybe may or April. I don't know. And I go, oh, is that not something like people who are sports fans know of like when the thing is? Because I usually know that the World Series for baseball is like around September. I just like know that because it's the time of year that that like thing that I've sometimes cared about as a Cardinals fan.

When you smelled your boyfriend's underwear? Or like March Madness. I know because it's like March. You know, there's like a time. But you go, people don't know that. go people don't know that sports fans don't know that and so I want to know like is that true like you really don't know when the NBA finals are I mean I have an understanding of it

you said April May or June COVID has affected scheduling okay but wouldn't you know if they're coming up like at what point yes I know where they are we're past the all-star break we're about I believe last night Brooklyn played Philadelphia 76ers, and their records were 37 and 17.

So that means seasons have been cut short. Like, last season was very short for the NBA. They were in a bubble. Like, things have been different lately. Okay, I didn't realize it was a COVID thing. But I know that there's five people on each team. Most people have 11 people. You mean five people on the court at one time?

Yeah, yeah. So already. Why don't you fill Nicky in on UFC drama, Andrew? Oh, there's a lot of drama going on. First of all, we watched this fight, the second fight. It was Dustin Poirier versus Conor McGregor. Dustin Poirier is king of the hot sauce. Conor McGregor is king of the Irish whiskey.

Of throwing a chair at a bus. Yeah, he did do that. Yeah. How did you know that? Because, listen, I actually, it's like Yu-Gi-Oh, man. Like, I might not know all the players, but I know the big events. So Conor McGregor came from nothing as well, but he's seen as this, like, multi-millionaire because he started a whiskey company. And then Dustin's, like like this raw guy from Louisiana.

So that's how they like. So they're fighting again. They're fighting for the third time, a trilogy. So I saw the second one. You saw the second one. The first one, Connor won. We watched it with your girl and then my ex-boyfriend. Yes.

That was such a weird night. So the third one, we're going to have to watch it. Oh my God. Yes. When is it? July 10th. June, July, or August. July 10th. uh that's a good july 10th june july or august july 10th madness okay july 10th okay we could do it um yeah so we'll both be hopefully getting fingered when we're watching it so wait that wasn't a part of oh did you finger your lady

while we were watching yeah oh oh well good to know i thought you fingered her when we were watching veep every show oh oh got it okay so mregor promised, though, to give Poirier's charity $500,000 after the fight. Maybe thinking he will win and then give him money, but he lost the fight, and he apparently hasn't paid up yet. Hilarious. And fucking Poirier calls him out on Twitter for not paying. No, but yes. And then McGregor responded that he was out on Twitter for not paying. Good. No, but yes. And then McGregor responded that he was waiting for plans for the money. Like he didn't know where the donations were going.

Like he just wanted. So, but then Poirier comes out and goes, hey, I jumped the gun. It's a $500,000 promise donation. Okay. Yes. I think that's important. Yes. I feel like he said that.

I think I said that, Noah, but thank you. Oh, sorry. No. My bad. How dare you, Noah? Our connection's unstable. Yeah, that's, yeah, so are we. As our relationship.

Yeah. Jumped a gun. What? Jumped a gun? I don't know. I got caught up, and then I just read a quote. Poirier said he jumped a gun by saying it on Twitter. Like, at what point should you bring out personal shit?

That's private in a way. It helps to fight. I bet you McGregor was like, hey, let's run with this. It's alcohol. It's lack of sleep. It's like I was talking about it yesterday, like dealing with relationships and just with smartphones. If you wanted to confront someone about something, dealing with relationships and like just with smartphones, like you,

if you wanted to confront something, it was someone about something like you used to be like, Oh, the next time I see them, I'm really going to let them have it. Or I'm going to call them on the phone. And like you have all weekend to think like, Oh, Monday at school,

I'm going to let this person know. I feel now teens just pick up their phone and text. Like the, you know, that first thought I was just talking about with like, Oh, I want to go fuck someone to get it back. Like you can, you can start that first thought immediately that you're in it.

Whereas because you have a phone and you have access to people you can fuck. And like I could put that into motion immediately. When back in before smartphones, that first thought finds its way out of your brain and like onto the next thought that's more logical because you have space to do it because you can't do the thing without seeing people and without going out and Monday at school or Monday at work, I'll be able to confront. Now you can confront someone from work over your phone with a click of a button and people are, you know, they get worked up with their friends.

They just pick up their phone. They're like, I am going to fucking call that asshole out. Yeah, so this is all a symptom of. So you're saying that, so if I can get this right, so you're saying that Dustin Poirier having access to Twitter so easily that he's just like, oh, I'll just post it on here. I'm not even going to think about it. And this is how I'm going to call him out as opposed to like.

You've done it before, though, like posted things like just like because you thought in the moment and like last night you posted a picture of you fat yeah fat you put your face on a fat app yeah fat face you look fat and then you posted a picture of yourself now and you were like i lost weight and you were like giggling to yourself like so hard because you were like i just posted this i don't even know if it's like there was like this nervous energy of like, I just put this thing out here. It was like a harebrained. It was like a hair up my ass. Like, I think that's what it's called. Like a wild hair up your ass moment where you're just like, I'm just doing it.

Like jumping in a pool naked. Yeah. I mean, it's like when Michael, I bet you Michael Rappaport, when he, he released Kevin Durant, another sports story, but Kevin Durant's a basketball player, very famous, one of the best ever. I know, I know. He released DMs, private DMs that were to him. And he probably had that moment. He's probably just like, oh, this will get me attention. Here it comes.

And we're all crazy. Even on this podcast, I say things that I'm like, why did I say that? It was just like, you can say something right now and put it out there to the world. Everyone can hear it. And you don't have time to edit yourself and just, and, and self reflect. And it's, it's dangerous. And that's why people get canceled. And that's why people are so quick to cancel others because they know they're so scared themselves of doing the same thing. And like, they're so scared of, you know same thing and like they're so scared of you know i'm never going to accidentally say something uh unintentionally racist because i that's my

biggest fear deep down it's like this is not me saying this but like a character of being like i'm gonna get so mad at this person who made this a mistake by saying this accidentally really offensive thing i'm gonna shame that person because I will never do that. And I'm so scared of doing that, that I'm going to double down on how much I hate when people do that because my deepest fear is that I do it because everyone's susceptible of having a couple of drinks, shooting off a tweet that is just like not funny,

more like offensive than it is funny and being misunderstood. And they land in africa and they lose their life do you know that one that story of that girl yeah yeah yeah with the something yeah it's like these are we i think cancel culture comes after these people because we're all so scared of being canceled so if we go hard like i hate that person that did that that that protects you from being like oh it'll never happen to me because i'm so mad that it happened like it's protected private like should that kevin durant should he have released that there's no shoulds in this world anymore i think that probably given uh a weekend to decide whether or not to post that he probably wouldn't have yeah i have drafted so many texts

to boys and sent them to my friend noah and sent them to my friend anya and run them by you before i send them off that have protected me from coming across not how i actually feel and protecting saving this moment that like last night i just journaled i was so upset and i wanted to text this person i wanted to like cry and call my friends but instead i just went outside and i journaled and got all so upset. And I wanted to text this person. I wanted to like cry and call my friends. But instead, I just went outside and I journaled and got all my feelings out. And it just like helped me process it. And when I later saw that person, I had collected my thoughts and I didn't say anything I didn't mean. And I think that if that person would have just showed up right before I journaled, it would have been a disaster.

Smartphones really lead us to... The idea of texting is wild. That you can just think something and say it to a person across the world. That just never happened before. Back in the day, if someone owed you money or something, you'd be like, if I see them in the street, I'm going to...

You've done things you regret in text and DMs. Remember with T.J. Miller? Oh, you know, you'd have to like. Have you, you've done things you regret, like in texts and DMs. Remember with TJ Miller? Oh, I mean, yeah. TJ, I mean, that's a whole. But that was a drunk thing too. But watch out with alcohol and texting. I mean, everyone knows that. But how many, that's why I had to quit drinking is like waking up to these texts of being like, what the fuck was this?

Embarrassing. Let's get to listener mail. We've got a lot of feedback from you guys, not only on the reviews, but you write into the pod, NikkiGlazerPod at the NikkiGlazerPodcast at gmail.com. You can DM us at NikkiGlazerPod on Instagram. So we have some advice from one of our besties. Okay, Nikki and Andrew. I recently, this is from a bestie. I recently had sex with a guy that I've been seeing and I noticed that he is very boring with sex. Like no guy has ever not sucked my D cup tits

when presented to them. But this guy did it. He doesn't use tongue when kissing either. It almost seemed as if he wasn't that into it. But then he called me a few hours after I left his place in the morning just to check in. He's a great guy, but I just wish he was more sexual in bed. Is this a lost cause and should I move on or should I say something to him? Okay. First of all, I can't just stop thinking about them D-cup titties. I have a lot of questions. I know. As soon as I said that, I was like,

oh, Andrew's out. Literally, I heard nothing else after D-cup. I saw Andrew shake when you said... Yeah, I just heard he doesn't suck on the big D-cup i just heard so what do you think she should do about her cancer diagnosis huh what about the cancer dying i didn't even hear that yeah i don't know it could have been anything i know i know no i honestly think that she definitely should bring it up to him i think that i yeah of course of course you try it out huh how do you tell a

guy that though without that he's boring and making him feel like he's doing something wrong? Just be like, I don't know how into it you are when we're in it sexually. I would like to explore more things with you. I'm really into you. I think you're really hot. I don't...

Give him some compliments and then go into... It's all tone. Don't be like, you're not sucking on my fucking D tits. You're not fucking throwing these big ass fucking melons in your mouth. You pussy. Just be like, Hey bro, stop being a pussy and suck on my melons. Yeah. I mean, it's that, but also, I mean, I would approach this if I was in bed with someone

and like, I like to have my, it's like, do you like to have your tits sucked? It's not about like, why doesn't he like to suck my tits? Like maybe he's not a tits sucking guy, but maybe, maybe if you, um, phrase it, like I enjoy my nipples being sucked so much and then he'll maybe start doing it and he'll like it because I found that when I voice things that I actually enjoy, um, and express things that maybe I might feel like, oh, this guy might be threatened by this because it's a move that obviously maybe someone else has done to me or it's a move he's not doing or didn't occur to him or he's doing it wrong. And I'm going to tell him a different technique that'll hurt his ego. a really good person if it makes you feel good it's gonna make your experience better and it doesn't make him feel worse because it's not degrading or whatever reason i think they'll be very open to doing those things so i think phrasing this all from a place of like i really like my tits sucked i really like tongue when we kiss is that something that you would be open to just like

like can i just show you the way i would prefer to be kissed? Like you're get, and then maybe you might get into the way he kisses, you know, like I've, I feel like I've been able to come around to things that I wouldn't normally turn me on because the person that I'm with enjoys them so much and is so turned on by them and vice versa of like, wow. Like, yeah. And if he doesn't do it, I'll suck on the mutters, you know? Yeah. Oh yeah, I forgot we close every advice segment with you

offering to fuck our listeners. Does that make sense? No matter what it is. No, I think that's great advice. I really do because it's not pointing. It's just leading. He is calling you a few hours after you left his place in the morning just to check in. He's a great guy, you say, but I just wish he was more sexual in bed.

You just need to express that sex is important for me too. Like when a guy is perfect but they don't like sex as much as I do or something seems to be holding them back, it will eventually ruin us because to me sex is a priority at this point in my life. But that doesn't mean that people can't come around to it. And I've learned that through my own experience of like just be vocal. Tell people what you need. Men need instruction. And if they can't handle it and they go, no, I'm doing it my way. Get the fuck out sooner than later because

i've also made that mistake of being like hey can you like suck my clit and they're like i've got it and they're like just give me time we'll give me like hold on and you go okay well after this is over and by over i mean as when i'm finally done letting you nibble on my clit in the wrong way that I don't want. And I've told you the way I like it, but you're going to do it your way. We'll be over. Yeah, and look, you can always cut his dick off. Exactly. Let's get to this comment about Andrew's laugh.

Andrew, I feel like you've heard this before. Hi, Nikki, Andrew, and Noah in Arizona. First and foremost, love you. First and foremost, I you. First and foremost, foremost. I love the new pod. You're getting me through some hard times and making me look forward to Mondays.

Oh, that's great. I love that. The enclosed YouTube clip is all I hear whenever Andrew starts laughing hard. I can't unhear it. Thanks for all the swells, Jim.

All right. Let's play. Oh yeah. It's Dastardly and Muttly. Muttly's laugh. It's a dog. Yeah, you have that laugh. When did that laugh start? I don't know. Probably when I got sleep apnea.

Yeah, there it is again. You gotta go get tested for sleep apnea. I know. I will. Because it'll give me at least a new five minute chunk. And whenever I ask you how you slept, it's always like, you're always tired even if you slept. Like, you're always like, don't feel refreshed. And I'm like, I think you have sleep apnea, dude.

Yeah. I don't know when the Muttley laugh started happening. It's like a, like, I don't know. Like, cause I, sometimes i laugh like yeah you do like i get really into it that's when you know i'm really laughing the monthly is like a half laugh oh so it's you don't think it's a full laugh you think it's more of like a just giving someone something it doesn't exert as much because i i have those laughs too where i'm like that's like my real laugh of like but sometimes i'm like but then like you'll be at a show and someone will be laughing you

you laugh weird and that person's like well now i never want to laugh again i know some people have the worst laughs though i mean my laugh does every time i'm at a club and watching a stand-up and i laugh people turn around at their tables to look at me like what and i always feel like one of those people that's like dude my mom laughs in movies like it we watched something about mary together yeah and she was like losing her fucking mind and it was like and huh i went to go see there's something about maria with my dad oh really it was like one of the only movies i saw with my mom and like i remember it and i remember you know my mom was so depressed for so much of my life and seeing her laugh at that oh my god your mom needs to see more comedy oh my god dude i could almost cry thinking about

how happy she was at that moment and how embarrassed i was that is really cool it's almost like you may have learned like the power of laughter and like how it you're funny because your mom was depressed i think oh one thousand percent did you make your mom laugh no not much which is kind of weird i never really shot for that i would if anything i like ignored her and like because it was just too much right so i would just go to my room and we wouldn't interact that much like we'd go out to dinner and like she'd have like her sunglasses on or like prada sunglasses and no bra which was interesting okay like you're covering the wrong pair there mom and uh and uh and we would just sit there and i would just we would just not talk. So then like seeing her laugh at something

that I thought was so funny was such a bonding experience, you know? Did your dad love that movie when he saw the cum in Cameron Diaz's hair? I begged him to take me. I was in eighth grade and I went with my friend Kirsten and he took me and my friend Kirsten.

She's one of the K's in the recording. Kirsten. And I remember, I didn't get so much of the jokes in that i didn't know the comp the cum thing didn't understand what that was i don't even know what i thought it was but i just definitely didn't know about com my dad was like rolling his eyes the whole time just like i can't believe i brought my daughter to this but there was a line where she goes cameron d is talking about like breaking up with brett farve and she's with sarah silverman this

other woman at the table and she's like it's fine she was like it's not a big deal I still have my vibrator and my dad laughed like it's not even that great of a line but he laughed and I remember like being like vibrator vibrator like look doesn't Matt Dillon laugh in that too he's at another table yeah but my dad laughed maybe he was laughing at the Matt Dillon laughing at another table. And maybe not just the joke. But I remember being like, you need to look up what a vibrator is. And this was pre-Google. So I was just like, I got to find out what that was because my dad laughed so hard.

I'm going to keep listener mail into the final thought. This is a thank you note. Hello, Bestie, this person says. I just wanted to thank you for bringing some light into my life right now. This past year was very tough on everyone. I've never told this to anyone, but I've been stressing out every day and barely sleeping at night because of my anxiety. I have this enormous weight on my shoulders because I got into what most people consider a small amount of debt due to COVID, but to me it is suffocating. I know there's people dying and I'm here so desperately worried and I'm

here so desperately worried and obsessed with something minimal. It just feels like I can't get a break or a raise. Anyways, I don't want to bother you with my problems. I really wanted to say thank you for making a podcast that can make me smile and forget about my issue even if it's just for an hour of my day. Thank you for the lightness you bring. Thank you for talking about mental health

and bringing joy into such a sad world. Oh, I'm sorry to end this podcast that you're trying to escape your thoughts from to end this podcast that you're trying to escape your thoughts from with the exact thoughts that you're trying to escape that you articulated for us. But thank you for your letter. And I mean, I feel this so much because I, you know, like whatever I, when I made that money and then I became in debt and I know that people don't really know about the money you made. Yeah. So I worked in real estate in my early 20s. I made a lot of money.

Then the market crashed. And I ended up not paying all of my taxes because I thought I'd make another million dollars the next year because I had all these deals lined up. It seems like a completely different world to go. But because of that debt and the high debt like financial debt will lead into depression or i sat i remember just being in my room in the dark just fucking watching youtube all day long like with the blinds closed and just like literally just i couldn't look at myself in the mirror like i was it was fucking me up so like don't short change

whatever that's a but like don't short change your your hurt or your yeah or your feeling of like oh it's just money or it's just this because that's real that's real shit it's just as real as make your anxiety worse to feel bad like your anxiety is going to be piled on because you're not being kind to yourself about how sad you feel about it. You're not even letting yourself feel sad about it because, oh, there's people dying. So that's a good point. Like the relief you can bring yourself today, you might not be able to affect the debt. But for me, listener, will you allow yourself to pity yourself today and feel sad about it and feel like not mad at yourself for getting in the debt, but like poor you that you are in a position where you're in debt. You didn't wanna be, you didn't ask to be this way. You're always trying your best. Everyone's always trying their best.

So know that this debt is not because you're a flawed person or because you're a bad person or because you're so stupid or whatever you're telling yourself. You don't wanna, no one wants to be in debt. So just know that about yourself. This is not is not your fault even though it feels that way it truly isn't um and the other yeah and and let yourself feel sad and then and then after you feel that literally attack the debt like like there's so many ways to take on debt that we don't even know

they should teach it in a fucking high school class, what taxes are. Because there's a way to approach your debt in a proactive way. I finally got an accountant. I finally got my taxes up to date. Let's talk about what stuff you did maybe before that. Did you get on maybe Zoloft? Oh, Zoloft, working out. But your mental health

had to improve before you were able to tackle the debt because it's like, it's telling a depressed person, get out of bed and take a shower and they're like, I can't. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's the baby steps. But like you might need to be on, you need to talk to a professional about the lack, like not being able to start to even attack the debt. And again, that's not because you're a bad person and lazy.

If she's in debt though, that might be hard for her to afford at the moment. Totally, I get that. Yes. But there are things you can do for your mental health that are free. You can meditate.

You can listen to different podcasts about therapy or the struggles of anxiety. There's David Burns, Feeling Good, that's about all cognitive behavioral therapy. There's free things out there that you can do that are very minimal, even just meditating for five minutes a day. There's the Waking Up app. Honestly, five minutes of meditation a day. There's the waking up app, honestly, five minutes of meditation a day, starting the waking up app, waking up course, 28 day course to learn meditation, 10 minutes a day, you learn it. And then there's a new app meditation every day, lots of lessons on that thing. It's that's a free app that does chart. It does, um, ask it's behind a paywall, but if you write into info at, or support at waking up.com, I believe, but it's a waking up app. They will give you the app for free, no questions asked.

And there's so many resources in there that are totally free that will literally get you on the jumpstart to better mental health that will help you attack this debt because the debt is not the issue and it's not your fault either. And I really hope you just let yourself feel sad. And when you do cry about your little sad sad things in your life, that seems so minimal compared to like the world burning that it doesn't, the world, the world could not be on fire and you would still get to cry about it. And even though the world is, it has nothing to do with how sad you feel. So let yourself feel sad. And thank you for writing into us. Thank you for listening this week. We got to

go. Anything else, Andrew? I mean, I'll have sex with you even if you're in debt. Exactly. And that's what's most important here. And all the swells. All the swells. Thank you so much for listening this week. Best friends. You guys are awesome. The engagement has been incredible.

Go rate and review. Andrew's birthday is on Sunday if you want to wish him a happy one on Sunday. And yeah, we'll see you on Monday when Andrew's 41. Closer to death. Okay. Okay. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show,

ears edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.