The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #163 Puzzles w/ Carlisle Forrester

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

The gang is back together, Nikki, Andrew and Carlisle discuss falling in love with a character, 90's TV show casts, Tara Reid and the MTV VJ search days. Nikki and Carlisle have very different TV habits, Nikki advises what not to wear in a plane crash and in the news Andrew reads informative studies about dementia and sharing a king sized mattress with a partner. Nikki has her own headline in Why Do I Care and explains giving her phone number to Carle Radke of Summer House. They play a telephone game before Nikki asks a very serious question. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast Here's Nikki! Hello, here I am. Welcome to the Nikki Glaser Podcast.

I'm here with Andrew Collin, Carl Alforster. It's Wednesday. Andrew's spinning the ball like a globetrotter. That's what they call me. Oh, you love sports. You got a tennis racket there, You got a basketball, a little new putter behind you. Oh, new putter, Scotty Cameron. It's going to change everything. Not at all, actually. Is that your real license plate?

Huh? Is that your real license plate? No, he bought it offline. I bought it offline. Okay. Black market. Wait a second. This putter, can I guess the price?

No. $3.76. I don't want to talk about it. Honestly. I can't. Just come on. No, because- Wait, what kind of putter can i guess the price no 376 i don't want to talk about it honestly i can't just come on no because wait what kind of if i ever asked for a raise you'll say oh i paid you plenty because you got that what's what's um what's the what's the brand what what's the special about it it's a scotty cameron uh you know the casino we did they actually actually gave me one, but it wasn't like this. This is a mallet putter, which is a straight back, straightforward putter.

It's top of the line. It's new, kind of like a futuristic feel with a traditional touch. Right. So about 430. Exactly. Just Googled it. Oh, my God. For a boarder? with a traditional touch. Right. So about $430. Exactly. I just Googled it. Oh my God. For $430?

No, this is the thing, all right? It's going to change everything. My bag is complete now. Those little lighthouses don't stand a chance with those little twirling... What are they called? Yeah, that alligator that clomps down his mouth up and down and he has the little hole in his mouth

and you try to get it in. Those windmills. If you could pub fighting an alligator, you know how easy it is on the course? Those little mounds that are on the sides that kind of make it so it goes like, when you do it. All those men that are on those first dates,

they're going to fucking get hard, and they're going to pre-ejaculate just looking at your putter before their date ends. Just trying to think of other things that happen on a putt-putt course. Those families on vacation in Branson. Or the one cool kid that hits it like a driver and it goes into the water oh my

god that guy is so sexually frustrated oh yeah he's the one that like doesn't have a girl with him and he's like pissed off you know like the kid in your group that was me that causes mayhem yeah yeah it has you know punches things and it's just jumping off thing is it like the jackass of the group that's always the guy that's like not getting laid yeah it's the fifth wheel it's the guy that's like fine i'll come to dinner but i'm gonna put some straws in my nostrils yes and everyone goes like i love you he's the best he's like my little brother oh yeah oh my god you're cute he's really cute that's what girls would describe me when i was so small oh and you're so cute and i'm like fuck you man i'm fucking i'm a rottweiler you know i have the biggest crush on that i like

can't handle it who dini no who is so cute and i'm wondering like would i i think wait wait give us guesses let's i want to go for this type of guy like i mean i i have a boyfriend right now. It's not official. It's not official. Sparkles, your lover, your companion. No, he's not my boyfriend yet. He hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. Come on. Then you're just throwing it out there?

I always do this and that's how we end up together. Carlisle this morning was like, Nikki, he's your boyfriend. It's like that is your boyfriend. Stop with this. Yes. He definitely is. Yeah, he is, for sure. I mean, but he hasn't said it yet, and so I think that, and he knows that he has to be the one to ask me this time.

So I guess I shouldn't be saying it already. Maybe you should go to Putt-Putt where it becomes official. Oh, my God. That's where a boy asks you to go out. On the fifth hole. He's like, let me help you with your stroke. And also, will you be my lover forever? And then you don't talk the rest of the day.

Yeah. Because you just hang out with your girlfriends. Because he realizes you're unathletic and that your breeding would be terrible. But you never really ask. I mean, did you full out ask? I got on a knee. Yeah, I got on a knee. No, you didn't.

Oh, my God. You gave her a nuva ring. out ask i got on a knee yeah i got on my knee i got oh my god i pretended to get on a knee on the beach in florida and that's not a fun joke apparently oh no no it's so annoying you really did that and it was christmas andrew i'm jewish oh oh that was what did she do huh you really said yes to never talking to me that day how did you do it i don't understand like it was just like a joke like i didn't get fully on my knee i was like brenna turn around and like i was pretending to get them oh my god were you alone no my whole family was oh my god no no no you weren't i just thought that was funny like they're filming chris and i always used to do photo photos photos where we would be like at a wedding where they have

like a photo booth kind of thing. Oh, yeah. And we would do a series where we would be like taking pictures and then the next one would be him being like getting down on one knee and me being like, oh my God. And then he comes up and he finds a nickel and he's like, yeah. And I'm just like, hmm. And it's just like be sad at a wedding i mean that would be good if that's actually a really good i know that's a good way of getting like if you don't want to if you have no friends i can take the photo go to a photo booth if you're gonna get engaged you know what i mean because

you always want it like oh yeah that's you know we've talked about that before what were you saying though about your boyfriend before we got oh oh the guy that i'm like i think oh that you have adorable it's a character on a show well you're famous for liking the guy from veep yeah and he's this is the opposite of the guy from veep we're watching ricky gervais no not ricky gais. We're watching Afterlife. Have you ever seen Afterlife? I've seen the first two seasons. Oh, I love it so much. So good. Very dark. I think we're on the second season now, but we've watched it all in like one...

Where he kills his wife? Yeah. The second season? Is that where he does a flashback? Yeah, yeah. He gives his wife too much heroin. Oh, you like his friend that lives in the garage? No, no, no, no, no. Wait friend that lives in the garage? No. No. No, no, no. Wait, the boss.

The dog? Yes. Oh, my God. He's so cute. I don't know. I can't. I got to look him up. He's just struggling to be a good husband.

And he's so sincere. And he's sweet. He's his brother-in-law. OK, let me see. You know? And he's the boss. Let me look him up. How old is he?

I have no idea. I mean, I haven't, this isn't like a crush enough for me to like Google him, but I am like, oh my God, like he is, he's my first like celebrity crush or like not even like character crush for so long because his character is just so sweet and sincere. I mean, do you know his name?

His name is Tom Baston. He's very timid. B-A-S do you know his name? His name is Tom Baston. He's very timid. B-A-S-T-E-N. Oh, Tom Baston. He kind of looks like an ugly Gosling. No, I don't. Yeah, kind of. Yeah.

Like Gosling if he... Oh, yeah. He's so hot. Yeah. That's way hotter. I knew we could get it together. I knew that guy could get it together. He looks like Gosling's brother who became a professor.

He's just adorable. I think it's that just role he's in. And yeah, the role isn't a guy that's like a sexual dynamo, but like he also seems like someone who would be like, who you could like teach. Right. And I think that my quasi boyfriend exudes a lot of the same qualities as him

as being like a good person person and trying to help people. He just means well. I think, I don't know. But he's way cuter than that guy. Oh, I know. I mean, that guy's not, it's not even the guy's look so much as the guy's personality.

He's not ugly. I mean, look at him here. He's just adorable in it. He's like a good dad, and he stands up for what's right, and he's just, yeah, I think I, think I just have a slight crush on that character. I used to be obsessed with Jim from The Office when I was like, you and 90 million women.

Oh, my God. It's the same kind of thing. He's a Taylor Swift of crushes. Yeah, you're right. I mean, when will he get with? It's always the struggling guy that girls are like, he would be the best boyfriend because he's trying so hard yes then like three months in he's like not cleaning up you know his own dishes and it's like i never loved him but you know what i mean like we put

so much on the guy that's struggling these are characters i know you know and i think oh are you talking about him in real life no john kras Krasinski in real life, not a fan. I just think he's one of those guys that thinks he's funny but isn't. His SNL was terrible. He's a great actor. He got really jacked. He's trying to do the guy from Parks and Rec. I want his character. Oh, that stupid Christian.

He's hilarious. That guy is actually hilarious. He is very funny. But his Jesus stuff is really irritating. It's a lot. And he was really nice. I met him once and hung out with him for like a whole afternoon. And he was awesome.

I can't believe we can't remember his name. Yeah, it's Galaxy Guardians. He was friends with the raccoon. He's the really jacked guy. Everyone knows who we're talking about. What's his name from? Chris Pratt? Parks and Rec.

Huh? Chris Pratt? Yes, Pratt. Pratt Falk. So John's trying to do to Chris Pratt. What? My friend went to high school with him.

Oh, yeah. And she said even then she knew he was going to be like a huge star. Yeah. People always say that. Your friend predicted it. Your friend knew. That's responsible. It's funny. They either know that they're going to be a big star yeah people always say that it's responsible it's funny they either know that

they're gonna be a big star or they never knew they never knew he'd be a killer there's no one that's just like i mean you could do it if you want yeah yeah i never really i saw nothing but everything yeah at the same time um but yeah i feel bad talking shit about but it's the characters i fall in love with because what made you have a crush on him though um who oh and i loved chris pratt's character in parks and rec oh my god i was obsessed with him and ari plaza getting together and then i lost interest in that show as soon as the couples get together i'm out ross and rachel i'm out it's your favorite pam and uh what's his name it's the build-up jim i'm out you're queen of favorite. Pam and, what's his name? It's the build up. Jim, I'm out. You're queen of build up. And I don't, I'm not interested

after the, when the crush is revealed hottest thing ever, afterwards don't care. Like they're together. What's to watch here? What's to tune in for? Must see TV. I don't really want to go see them go to couples therapy. Like that's not fun. Yeah. No, even that conversations

of a marriage. What was that? Scenes of a marriage. that that conversations of a marriage what was that scenes of a marriage of a marriage that one oh gosh that was draining will they won't they that was just like won't they won't they won't they oh god that show i gotta get back to it though because i do want to inject a little bit more realism into my tv watching in terms of like relationships to stop meaning because i just think that i'm you Because I just think that I'm rom-com. Like my life is a rom-com and as soon as it gets stable, I try to destabilize it

so that I'm pining and that I'm chasing someone or someone's chasing me or like it's will we, won't we or it's like secretive or I just love, I love a crush.

You love a montage of the guy running through the street to come find you. And then once he gets there, you're like, oh, it's never really going to do it. No, no, no. We embrace and we're in the rain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I'm just like, wait. I'm the same way. I mean, I think partly because I didn't see it in my parents. So where did I see it is on TV. Yeah. That's where, especially our generation, there were so many movies where the guy was just like, will they or won't they? And he's going to do everything he can to get to her.

And then once they're together, they finally found happiness. Did you have character crushes, though? Did either of you have crushes on characters? And then you look up the actor and you're like, no thanks. You hung out with my very first character crush in Hawaii. Woody Harrelson, baby. Oh, man. Remember that movie, Indecent Proposal?

Oh, wow. Where he lets his wife bang Robert Redford first. Listen, that's kind of the same guy that I have a crush on in this afterlife. Kind of like the cuck. Yeah, like he's just so in love with her. And I was a kid, right? So I didn't even understand the whole one night thing in Indecent Proposal.

Like what that meant? Yeah, I was just like, it's one night. What's the big deal? They're just going to play Scrabble and talk and go to dinner and fight. They're going to play some blackjack on this boat. Yeah. He just wants to slow dance with her. Yeah, like what's the big deal?

I really did not get that they were having sex. Oh, boy. Well, it wasn't just one night when you get picked up in a helicopter and a guy in a tuxedo with a billion dollars. It is just one night, but that's like quite a night. Yeah, yeah. You can't compete with that. Don't ruin it for me. I forget

how that movie ends. And I'm guessing she goes to Woody because Ricky Gervais kills her. That's a good character crush. It is so good. He's like... I don't know. For some reason,

guys can think he's hot too because it's still manly to think he's hot. Like there's certain guys where guys are like, yeah, he's fucking hot because you want to be him. Yes.

Remember when they finally got the money? That's the way I feel about women too. They finally win the money in Vegas. I didn't get it. I don't want to get it. I'm going to watch it.

I'm going to watch it. It's from 91. I didn't get it. I don't want to get it. I'm going to watch it. I'm going to watch it. It's from 91. I don't care. I still haven't seen it. I wasn't allowed to watch it when I was a little kid because my parents had boundaries. We had it on a VHS tape written in my eight-year-old handwriting in decent proposal. Let's be honest. You still have eight-year-old handwriting.

I got to do. I do, too. I write like I'm seven and dyslexic. Did you have a character crush? Dawson? I mean, just Pacey. I was more Pacey boy. Yeah.

Oh, I love Pacey. Until I met him in real life. Oh, goddammit. Yeah, and then things changed. No, I mean, boring shit. Kelly Kapowski, obviously. Oh, yeah. I was obsessed with him.

Zach Morris. Oh, my god. You guys had her on You Up. Yeah, we did. So you met your crush. I never never met her i wasn't there that day oh man but i do remember like like uh i'm trying to think who else i've met a lot of my crushes actually zach morris holds up what a nice guy but he's not nearly as hot as he was right i mean he's like no he's hot still yeah yeah he's still just that like it's the friendliness and like the i like his his voice everything just melded together for me and so

when it came back around i mean he's older but he's not he's not none of these people are their character they're all actors and actors are not that oh heather locklear was like and then you found out she was like the drummer from Tommy Lee. And you're like, was she ever really that nice girl? Was she nice on Roller's Place? Well, no. She was just hot and not innocent. But you put that on her because she's so perfect looking.

Yeah. So then you're like, how could she fuck this drummer? Were you ever a Pam Anderson guy? Of course. Yeah, everyone was. It's so funny. Tommy Lee fucked all these women. Wait, Noah, did you have any character crushes?

I used to watch a lot of family sitcoms, like Step by Step. Oh, yeah. I loved Step by Step. Topanga? Same. Topanga, yeah. So the Step by Step, the older brother, he was like a jock. Oh, yeah. He was like a jock. Oh, yeah.

He was like a dummy that lived in the trailer in their yard. There was always a guy that lived in the yard in these shows. It was Cody. You liked Cody? It's so funny. Wasn't there a character named Boner or something? Yeah, Boner was, he passed away. Yeah, his name was Schneider. away. Charlie Payne? Yeah, his name was

Schneider, fuck. What is his last name? I forget his name. God damn it. I feel bad. I used to like know him. He was a producer on Never Not Funny.

He's Jimmy Pardo's brother-in-law. Gotcha. He is great. Oh my God, I used to love him on that show. I'm sorry I forget his name. It's just eluding me right now.

Boner. No, what about the 90210 guys? Oh, AK-47 is what he called him. Andrew Koenig. Sorry. What was his? 90210? I was too young for...

I've met all of those guys. Really? Luke Perry. When you used to work at Hyde or whatever? No, random places. Luke Perry, I met R, before... He died? Oh yeah, he died. He passed away. And he was actually in

Manhattan Beach. Noah just found out. No, I'm so sorry. Sorry for the spoiler, Noah. Don't ruin Indecent's proposal, but Luke Perry is dead. Did he die at the end of Indecent's proposal? Is this how we find out? From natural causes. If you remember, for any of the 90210 fans

during the college years kelly and donna lived in this house on the beach and they said it was malibu but it was really in manhattan beach or like hermosa beach one of those and i was down there on the fourth of july and luke perry was like hanging out like outside of this house like he was just just waiting to be recognized. Me and my friend asked him, we were like, oh my god, can we take a picture with you? And he was like, yeah. He had just been standing out there doing it all day.

Oh, fuck yeah. Can you bring that photo up? It's not on my phone. This is a printed photo. So Jason Priestley, I met at the gas station that was on Fairfax and sunset if anybody if you know what you love it a lot of celebrities you love it no i've seen many celebrities at this gas station but another the celebrities do based on us weekly i do know that they pump gas just

like us whoa yeah there's no like celebrity gas they gotta They gotta go. The first $7. They get in the rest of it. What do they do? They just look at it and it fills up. They get Omicron from the pump just like us. So wait, so what did you do with Priestley? Did you go up to him? So Priestley tried to do like a bit because again, I had a friend in town

and I was like, oh my God, can we take a picture of you? And he was like, yeah. Or I was like, can you take a picture? That's what I said. And he said, yeah, you two get together. And he was like, yeah. Or I was like, can you take a picture? That's what I said. And he said, yeah, you two get together. And he like took the camera.

And I was like, no, we want you in it. And it was, this was back in the days of like, like a disposable camera. And we went to take it and it was out of film. And it just goes,

yes. And it was just one forever. And he goes, ah, nice try. And then like handed it to me and said, nice try. Like I knew. And I really thought there was one left.

Oh, he thought you were getting punked? You punked him? Yeah. I don't know. I would say I was more of a Dylan. I mean, I thought he was hotter than Jason Priestley. I never watched it. You never watched 9-2-1-0?

I was too young. I feel like though that came out. I was just on the cusp. Yeah. One more, just to round this out i met ian zearing oh my god i saw you one time at action park and by the way i think it's ian it's ian yeah but uh anyway he came to a supernova comedy where i work and saw a show and did you get a picture no No. Was you out of film?

Your phone was battery dead? No, I was working, and I was busy, but he came with my friend, and she was like, Hey, do you know? No, she's local. From Fairfax? And she was like, Do you know Ian? You know Ian?

You love it. Do you know Ian? And I was like, Yeah. Like, Hi. I've known you for my whole life. Ian Legend. Yeah. I think known you for my whole life. I am legend. Yeah. I think it's Ian Legend.

Oh, yeah, that's right. We've got to go to break. We have more celebrity sightings coming up right after this. Andrew! Coming! Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast the daily show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture you get hilarious satirical

takes on entertainment politics sports and more from john and the team of correspondents and contributors the podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to the show. We're talking about seeing celebrities. Wait a second.

I just want to say that I thought of sharknado when she talked about ian ian yeah yeah and i just read this thing about tara reed oh my god i have a good tara reed story really well not that good but just saw her in eos in croatia anyways go ahead what is it what did you what was she doing not eos havar in croatia this was in the prime remember when she had like about four months where everyone was like completely shitting on her because she was too much of a party animal 14 years yeah that's the article i read coming out yeah no it came out one time and everyone was like so mean and she got a botched liposuction yeah so she had all these weird rivets on her stomach and

she just had bad plastic surgery and And people attacked her for it. Merciless. She never did anything wrong. She was like, I always showed up on time for things. I never was a party animal who got too drunk and got a DUI. I never got arrested. I never passed out anywhere. And yet she was the face of all of this bad behavior from girls.

I think. Because her tit fell out on the red carpet one fucking time. No, no, but because her role in American Pie, she was the good girl who was losing her virginity. And then it's almost like the Donald Trump thing of, if you're always an asshole, no one cares. But if you go from this character of being perfect to this. To fucking Tommy Lee. It's like Lindsay Lohan.

Like, oh, we thought you were this. But Lindsay Lohan was addicted to drugs. Yeah, yeah. Remember when she dated Samantha Ronson? Well, Tara Reade was really fucked up a lot, I think. I mean. No, she was probably, she partied, but the thing is, she got that show on E! That was like. That's where I saw her.

She was filming that. And she said that did not help because I was over there when they were making me into this party girl and i'm not like i i partied like the most people did in that time like not not more not less yeah and she was just like a i saw her at union station in st louis they were doing um the search for the vj remember yeah of. It was the second year. It was when Dave Holmes was in the running. He lost to... Jesse Camp.

Jesse Camp. Jesse Camp, man. He lost to Jesse Camp, who is probably camping under a bridge right now. That would be a good Halloween costume for you. Jesse Camp would be a great Halloween costume. Yeah, you gotta do it. Oh, we gotta be such a throwback.

Dude, that was such a fun time in MTV history. It was. Where a normal person could be plucked. You mean before ridiculousness? Yeah, before ridiculousness all the time. But it used to be so cool. If you're a young person, they would search for a VJ, which was like the coveted spot on MTV,

which was like you were one of the hosts of MTV, and there were like five of them at a time, and they would look for a regular person that plucked out of obscurity, no professional, uh, you know, someone that had never been on TV and you'd apply and they'd send in tapes. It was kind of like the real world and they'd make you a VJ and it was like

the hunt for, and they would do this competition. It was so freaking fun. Yeah. And Dave Holmes, who you probably know from everything, um, he was the runner-up in Jesse Camp one but I went to the where they were doing the search in St. Louis because my dad was worked in cable and so he got us like into this show and I saw Carson Daly there and he was dating

Tara Reid at the time and they were making out I remember heavily off stage like in front of everyone wait why didn't you try to be the DJ from T-Series? I was in high school. Still, you could have been plucked from obscurity. No, I was not like, I was not someone, I didn't know anything about music. And it was, to me, that was like Kurt Loder should be, to me that was like for an older person.

There was that other guy on MTV where like, MTV was like the young channel. Like that was like the hip. And then these older VJ guys. I remember one who was losing his hair and he kept combing it. Every year he had to comb his hair more forward. Oh, Matt.

I forget his name. There's a bald one for sure. Oh, that guy. That guy was the rock and roll. What was his name? I don't know if it's the guy that Andrew's talking about, but the bald one is Matt Pinfield. Oh, yeah, Matt Pin pinfield it wasn't him but to look like a bowling pin and have your name be matt pinfield it was a stage name i just watched the best documentary is he a serious dj

by the way does he work at serious um all those guys ended up he's a rock and roll guy yeah he does like uh i think he works for like a los angeles radio station or something yeah they're all still like working have you all seen the documentary on hbo max about woodstock 99 no and it's talking about how it was the clash of like whenever mtv became for the young people like all of a sudden it was britney spears and backstreet boys but at the exact same time you had Korn and Limp Bizkit and it was kind of like a battle

for who was going to take over MTV. And that's why Woodstock, at some point, the MTV VJs just had to be bust out because people were throwing trash at them. Being like, fuck you. They had this hilarious shot of carson

daly trying to cover woodstock and he was just like okay we're here at woodstock and like the war zone and like all the corn fans were throwing like lit trash at him oh my god and then they ended up just burning it down yeah yeah no it was like original fire fest no burnt that shit yeah noah started it did you go noah no No, I think I was too young for that. The other night we were trying to look for a documentary to watch. Yeah. And Carla and I have different tastes in TV, for sure. Really?

We ended up watching Afterlife, and we both love it. But we started out, I was trying to watch Icarus. Have you seen that? Yeah, we were talking about that yesterday. Yeah, okay. I still don't know what that is. Did you watch Yellow Jackets? No, it's too suspenseful.

I don't need to be suspended. I watched two episodes last night. It's a lot. It's a lot, right? Whew. Yeah. It's fun. It's a lot.

Is it funny? There's some comical parts to it because it's so a lot, if that makes sense. Are there yellow... Do they wear... they're that's their soccer team i know but like are there like sportswear is it like black and yellow black and yellow i think it might be blue and yellow for some reason is it like is that a part of it though like they all wear their like jackets no they just start out as a soccer team okay and then you know the plane crashes yeah so why So why Yellow Jackets?

That's the name of their team. Oh, okay. Okay. And that's what they have to eat. They have to eat bees to stay alive. Yeah. One at a time. No, but I...

Bit by bees. It reminded me of... Bees bit by humans. That's the spinoff, man. The drummer quit Bit by Bees and he went into a side project. I read about that yeah I know and he died

at Woodstock 99 though oh my god from a piece of burning burning trash hit him in the face I already choked on Carson Daly's sideburns

remember sideburns were so big on that oh yeah frosted tips loved it oh tips were big yeah

I did he put out the fires with his frosted tips that's how frosted tips. Loved it. Oh, tips were big? Yeah. I did. He put out the fires with his frosted tips. That's how frosted tips were invented. That's so stupid. Wait, okay. I just have to say, there was this plane crash. Kind of when we were traveling, me and Emil, I was showing you guys, because Emil's interested in morbidity as well.

He's a 9-11 head, but he likes to look at like this the sadness of it and like how insane it was and like whenever i see like some footage of like there's a woman in the they just discovered this really scary thing or like someone on the phone like crying i always send it to him to be like isn't this fucked up so when we were traveling there was this plane crash of this um famous I think, Brazilian singer, pop star. Oh, yeah, yeah. And they showed her plane wreckage. Pibula. I forget her name.

It's sad that I forget her name. But she's really, really, I mean, had millions and millions of followers. And she had put out this Instagram story right before she crashed of her walking on the plane and being like, oh, I'm on a diet. And like, I have to eat like this now. And she's like on the plane and being like, oh, I'm on a diet and I have to eat like this now. And she's on the plane eating. And she has this black and white checkered jumpsuit, like whole thing that she's wearing. It's very, you know, a discernible fabric.

And then they show the plane wreckage and you can't see bodies, but you can see the checkered jumpsuit. Oh my God. Like within the rubble. Like you can just see parts of it. Did you buy it on Poshmark? Immediately. see the checkered jumpsuit. Oh my God. Like within the rubble. Like you can just see parts of it. Did you buy it on Poshmark? Immediately.

I go, that's cute. Yeah. It's so old school. It has holes in it. I wanted the original one. They were like, it's kind of bloodstained and has fragments of bone and plain. Bloodstained performed at Lollapalooza 99.

So bad. They're badass. Wait, so then yeah, so you saw this. So I said to myself, myself okay i never want to be discernible in a plane wreck like if i ever die i so on planes i never want to wear something that is like so vividly bright so why you wear gray leather now you look like a seat that's where i always wear um i'm trying to think of like yak uh maroon canvas to look like a suitcase um why don't you want to be discernible than when you're dead because i don't want people

because i look at this wreckage like i look at car crash i don't know why i'm morbid i just like seeing the aftermath when it's like oh my god it's like a person kind of exploded i know that's gross and i don't really want to see them i don't want to see it happen i want to see the aftermath i don't know why it just well it's like the show uh kamikaze which i'm surprised so good i hated that because i don't want to see we don't want to talk about what that's about in any way yeah even though the opening scene is literally what the thing i'm avoiding people but people just got to watch that it's so good you have to see it so when we were boarding the plane emile was wearing the same kind of checkered like houndstooth black and white like remember

that jacket he had yeah and i was like dude you gotta take that off because what if we crash and so he put it in the above and so now it's like a new ritual for beats if i'm wearing something discernible i have to put it away from me and then i convince myself the plane won't crash and i never take a picture of myself flying private like where i'm like posing in front of the plane because that's always can be used against me to be like she thought she was so cool and then she died yeah it doesn't look good to brag about the thing that killed you for sure you know when someone's like oh like they're doing shots and then they get they get into a car crash where they kill someone and you're like well that's a different thing but you could die in so many ways it's like you should never take a photo again

you know it's like oh it's always you died before doing this you know like yeah it's like that bitch hedberg joke where he's like when people say like this is a picture of me uh when i was young every picture uh this is an this is is a picture of me when I was young. Every picture. This is an old picture of me. Every picture of you is an old picture of you. I mean, Mitch Hedberg. It's so fun to just read his quotes.

We got to get to the news. But if you want to have a fun little day, just read his jokes. Pull up like a Mitch Hedberg quotes web page and just read. It's so fun. All right, what do you got, Andrew? You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. You haven't heard it here second, I'll tell you that. This is the first time you're going to hear it.

There's no way in hell you heard it anywhere else. Have all the swells out there. It is Wednesday, so you all know what that means. It is a Wednesday. A Wednesday. Research is research. is that the chair it's the chair i gotta move the chair no or it's a great excuse for yeah no one will ever know yeah this chair smells uh research finds that watching 24.5 hours of tv a week or 3.5 hours

a day can increase your risk of developing dementia. Team concluded that watching television itself may not be damaging to the brain. Instead, a high amount of hours spent in front of a TV creates long periods of sedentary behavior that passively distracts the brain and prevent people from engaging in other stimulating activities. Wait, what about TikTok? Yeah, our phone is going to fucking kill all of us. And what if you're not watching the TV? What if you're watching the TV on your phone? Oh, that's a good point.

I don't even get close to three and a half hours on anything. But on our phones, I feel like it's the same shit. But I'm reading on my phone. I'm actually taking, like, I'm constantly reading on my phone if I'm on my phone. Like the captions of a dance? No. I don't go on Instagram ever to just, dance? No. I don't go on Instagram ever to just like scroll.

I don't scroll on Instagram. I probably look at six things and then I just post. Like it's rare or I won't. That's what you're supposed to do. Post and get out of there. Yeah. That's the healthy way.

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like three and a half hours, especially during COVID, everyone's going to have dementia. Yeah, I mean, Reddit is where I spend most of my time and that is a little bit of doom scrolling of just like it's endless and i can't get out of it sometimes where i'm like oh this is like tiktok but it's always before bed and so my sleep interrupts it but they're tiktok

when people are on it during the day you can just keep going because you're still awake but i do feel like you could have a different kind of reading like there's there's numb reading too like like watching a reality show versus watching like something that you're actually interested in as opposed to reading reddit which is just like kind of like wow a man fell in a well no reddit i get actual information and it's like i feel like reddit to me and i don't know that it's like this way for everyone yes there are dumb pictures and there's dumb memes and stuff but i actually like it because it's informative. And like reading, you know when they say you should read fiction because you get to like experience someone else's life and like inside someone's brain.

And I think a lot of Reddit is people like commenting about their lives and like sharing like their experiences. And so I get a – I feel like I learn a lot. Every baby woman that watches soaps during the day, they're all going to have dementia. Plenty of people have watched that much television that is from that generation. So scared of dementia, but it's going to get us all. Because we're living so much longer. Not if you do

puzzles. Puzzles! That's what helps. That's what they say say but i feel like that's been disproven that puzzles helps you heard that on the tender bar the other night and that was from the 70s see that's like this is where i get all my news from ben affleck movies um no i there's this new game called wordle it's so freaking fun and um there's only one a called Wordle. It's so freaking fun. And there's only one a day. And this guy made it for his wife. How does it play?

It's not an app either. You go to just Google Wordle. You'll see. It's a word game, but it's really fun. And you can only do one puzzle a day. Puzzle. Puzzle. I also do crossword puzzles.

And that's mindless too, by the way. I mean, it makes you feel smart. Like, oh, and you're thinking of words. You're analyzing things. But man, I used to be addicted to crossword puzzles and play for three hours a day. And I wasn't accomplishing anything. I wasn't really stimulating my brain. Have you ever filled out the Sunday one?

Isn't that the hard one? No, I've done the Saturday. I've gotten Monday through Saturday. But right now, I'm so... You lose it, you know? But when I was doing three hours a day, I got to the Saturday and I felt accomplished. And then, no, right now,

I can probably get through Wednesday. But that would be iffy. You would feel like you would only have a limited amount of words, though. Just because you're doing it enough. There are so many words, dude. So many. I'm so bad at those fucking things.

It's not about knowing words. It's about knowing how crossword puzzles can trick you. Like how, it's knowing the crossword ease. You know what I'm good at? Finding the word inside letters. That is the dumbest word searches. Yeah. Those are so, those are, wonder if that's going to help you with all of this.

Oh, yeah. I think it causes it I don't understand when there are Old women with word searches Nikki was in a crossword puzzle Yeah I was in a crossword The Glazer The famous Glazer Yeah comedian

Glazer of stand up comedy Trying to think who else it could be. It could have been Ilana, but it was S-E-R, not Z. Or John Glazer, but it was five letters. No, the Ks matched up with something else. Yeah, they did. That's how you know. The other K?

Okay, all right. About 44% of couples say sharing a bed made them question their relationship. Are you afraid of moving in with someone because you'd have to share a bed all the time? No, I like going to sleep next to someone. No matter who it is? Just anything? No, actually, Kirsten staying here was awesome. I like sharing a bed with her.

I enjoy both, but I think that having a king-size bed would negate that. I think a queen-size bed is too small for two people. You're going to end up touching. Way too small. A king bed, literally, I've never had that much space, even in my own bed. When you were in your queen bed, did you sleep in the middle

or did you stay to the side? Side. I only use a twin-sized bed chunk of my bed. I like sleeping in a little bed by myself. Is that weird? I really enjoy it. A little bed? I like sleeping in a little coach by myself. Is that weird? Like, I really enjoy it. A little bed? A little bed.

Well, I like sleeping in a little coach seat in the back of a plane by myself. That's like my best sleep sometimes, too. Yeah. So I get it. I can't stand a twin bed. So one partner has trouble sleeping. Too small. Because it reminds you of the one that dad.

When I go home, I have a freaking twin bed. That's what they got for me I think it's You associate it With being home Yes And I hate it Being a kid

Because I roll off Like I don't know What's happening But in my queen bed With my boyfriend I still I sleep in like the crack In between the wall

That's because you I got nothing You're trying to roll off In there too But the wall Stops you If those walls could talk Well she grew up

Without walls Yeah She just grew up without walls. She just grew up in a twin bed inside a forest. You just put her last name into... That's how she got her name. Her mom looked around and said, Forrester. That's how she got her last name?

Yeah. They pick their last names out of the south. Yeah, they pick it out by looking at things. That's Dave Tree. Jim Bush. Jim Bush. You stare at a beer? Layer of beer can.

Was your daddy a beer can? Tell me about this. Daddy was a beer can. Tell me about sex in the king size bed. Is it less often because it's all the way across? And is there cuddling that happens in a king-size bed? Is it great for a relationship? Do you recommend it?

Do you have a big king-size comforter? We do have a big... We got all the big things. We got big... You know kings have their own pillows. I learned that. That seems stupid. King pillows, they're wider.

But I get it. It has to cover the whole thing if you're making a bed. Yeah, yeah. You seems stupid. King pillows. They're wider. But I get it. It has to cover the whole thing if you're making a bed and you want it to look nice. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because it looks weird if it's three with one coming off the side. Yeah. So anyways, yeah, it makes cuddling a choice. So then, therefore, it's like more romantic or like it means more because you have to travel a foot.

Queen size beds don't like make you cuddle, though. No, they do not. No, but I know. I know, you're right. It does make it a choice. I'm telling you, if you laid in the bed... You have to buy a ticket to get over it. It has to be intentional.

Yeah, you got to get a Euro path. Path. Path. Euro rail. You got to get on this path train. See dead people. I don't know why. Okay, so yeah.

And if you're in a fight, a quick king-size bed is great because it can create, like you don't have to touch the person. And can your bed, will you feel the other person move? No, not on this bed. It's unbelievable.

Like you really, you're just in your own world. But I do think, yeah, I think it can cause you not to cuddle and cause you to like almost feel like, are we even dating? Because I didn't even touch you last night at all. Yes. Sex.

I do think it probably does hinder, because you have to instigate more. So maybe there's more pressure to meet up. Yeah. You text her and was like, hey, you want to meet in the middle of the bed? It's like eating dinner on a long table yeah i mean you're here yeah i'd be like you gotta play telephone just to fuck your girlfriend yeah hey will you tell my girlfriend i want to fuck her to the to the queen pillow the bed bug has to travel across that's what bed bugs are I just give her a cup

I give her a cup with a long string I'm like hey I want to go down on you she's like what you want pudding it echoes there is less stress though if you have to get up in the middle of the night so then you don't feel like you're going to wake them that's another great thing and you can be on your phone

and you can be literally five feet away from them and like also social distancing you don't give them covid or herpes yeah you know no but no but like being on your phone which i think causes a ton of stress for me we've talked about this before about if someone's sleeping it's two in the morning you can't sleep what do you do what do you do when you can't sleep and i go on my phone because their eyes are closed but you don't think the light is gonna wake i put it dim i put it deep do you not put it damn i damn it yeah i put it dim and i put my headphones on if i need to listen to something it's never an issue really and i'm not swiping like on my phone i'm not like like shaking the bed it's just like you would never be able to

tell that's a good point i think you feel constantly guilty about being on your phone like like you're doing something nefarious you're just watching wake them but why would you wake them if you just get your phone and go like this i don't know also watching tv do you put the tv on that's another i don't have a tv in my bedroom oh but do you carla no i cannot sleep with any noise i have to have the white noise on so that would totally bug me but if you wake up in the middle of night you're never stressed that you're gonna wake up your partner there's not i feel i have to literally jump over him to go to the bathroom why don't you pull your bed away from the wall so you can get up does she wake up really easily? Is that the thing?

No. Well, not really. She just has to wake up earlier than me and I think that's another stressful thing. Yeah. I just I never worry about people waking me up because I can get right back to sleep if I'm tired enough. And Chris, like he sleeps so heavy

and if he does wake up he's just like and he just like leans over and like puts his face out and's just like, and he just leans over and puts his face out, and we just kiss, and then he just goes back to sleep. Really? That's cute. That's cute. He'll just wake up and be like, and then we kiss, and I'm just like,

and then we go to sleep. It's so cute. That is cute. So sometimes I do kind of purposely wake him up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, that's how I got him to say I love you. It's the first time. God, he's so cute when he's asleep.

And when he's like waking up, he's just like a little, little baby. I just love like a sleepy boy who's just like, I don't know where I am. Like I'm a little like, they're kind of like puffy and they're like swollen. Baby, I love it. Their hair is like just like a little bit disheveled and they're just so vulnerable. You're just like oh. And they're kind of like I don't know.

It's like you like when they're sick. It's the same kind of Yeah they're vulnerable and they're just sweet. They're so sweet. They're like little babies. Okay do you have another news story or do we got to go to break? See? Oh, yeah, let's go to break and then let's come back with why do I care? And I'll share my own headline.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture you get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment politics sports and more from john and the team of correspondents and contributors the podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines listen to the daily show ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right.

We're back from break, and we're going to do Why Do I Care? Why do I care? Well, I care because this is about me. My sister sent me this. a lot of people have asked about this as well a lot of fans someone just sent into the show something about this my sister caught it I guess she's at some I don't know where she was but is this her house oh yeah it is her house okay so this is on Bravo on Watch What Happens Live. Carl Radke from Summer House was playing the game with Andy Cohen where it's like you tell a truth or a lie.

And then Andy has to guess whether it's a lie or truth. And this is Carl's. Carl was once hit on by Amy Schumer during her set at a comedy show fundraiser. And she gave him her number after the show. Okay, now Amy is a huge Bravo fan. Then would he have told us this? I'm going to say it's true. I've heard the story.

I'm going to say false. It's false. Okay, break this. Yeah! It's actually Nikki Glaser. He hits him on the head. He goes, it's actually Nikki Glaser and hits him on the head. Yeah, so he says that Amy Schumer once hit on me at a charity show and gave me her number.

And then they all say false and it was false. And he goes, it was false. It was Nikki Glaser. And I was like, no, I didn't. I met Carl at some show. You were there. It was the show where they brought on uh an f boy right yes it was uh what's her name show yes and um what's her name mary mary beth barone beth barone yes um it was at her show and they brought an f boy he was the f boy of the show

and it was like yeah fuck boy revival or something that's the name of it and i did a stand-up set and i saw him backstage he's very handsome very tall and i had no idea who he was it was the first night i met hannah burner too i had no idea who she was and um i'd never seen summer house and he was just he he seemed excited he knew who i was he seemed excited to meet me he was like really smiley and nice and like focused on talking to me. I was just like, who is this handsome guy who seems to be into me? I was thrilled by it. And then I saw him be the fuck boy, and I was kind of like, hmm.

But still was like, oh, he just seemed to like, I was like, I stand by it. He was charming. Yeah, he's a handsome guy. He's got a great smile. But then I wrote to Carl, and I go, I stand by it he was charming yeah he's a handsome guy he's got a great smile but then I wrote to Carl and I go I did not give you my number I would never do that I remember when I give people my number and he wrote back what did he write back to me he goes

I said you Carl Carl Rodkey okay I said I didn't give you my number if I did you asked for it he said, I didn't give you my number. If I did, you asked for it. He said, LOL, I asked you to autograph the set list. And then I wrote on the set list my number. So I did. And that does seem like a move I would make.

Yeah, it's a good move. So I didn't remember it. Did he call you? I think he texted me. That's why we have each other's numbers, I think. He never asked me out or anything. But thank God. didn't that's why we have each other's numbers i think um he never like asked me out or anything but um thank god because i soon realized he's you know he drank a lot and i was at a point in my life where i didn't drink i guess you're both it's both true like you did give him your number but the circumstances are like he asked for your autograph i wasn't hitting on him i was he was the

one that came up to me and yeah i don't know i'm flattered if someone thinks i was hitting on him i was he was the one that came up to me and yeah i don't know i'm flattered if someone thinks i was hitting on them i'm usually terrible at that but it was nice to get my name dropped on bravo even though it was me being desperate for carl radke who's now dating lindsey from summer house which good luck to them that'll last until the you know three-fourths of the season next season when they need a you know story point yeah when the house turns into a rehab but they seem really good for each other yeah what did you say you said autumn autumn rehab house can't wait for autumn rehab house where actually kyle dates carl they're gonna run out and be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they kicked Hannah off, RIP. Yeah.

RIP, Hannah. It was the best thing that ever happened to her in the long run. Everything's meant to happen. All right. Well, it's Wednesday, so we're going to play a wild card Wednesday game. This is a game I invented, I think. Oh. It's the text game.

Maybe I invented it. I don't remember. Maybe someone asked me to sign a set list i came up with it i don't remember the exact origin but it's a fun thing that you can do if you have an iphone i don't know if it's on droid but it's predictive you used a predictive text and carlisle could not for the life of her figure out how to do it but what you do is so you pull up someone you would text. For me, it'll be Noah, okay? Yeah. And then you type in, hey, all right? And then there's three boxes of predictive text underneath that, right?

And then you just start blindly pressing the three of them in any order you want. It is fun i mean the this one is not good no no mine's not good hold on and then you see what your phone thinks you talk like and mine is like i played this so much the other night that it kind of got fucked up um so i just want to start over on this one. So I'm going to start with hey, and then I'm just going to blindly. Yeah, this phone knows that I don't know a lot of words. Like my phone. All right, so I just did it. It goes, hey, day. Thank goodness.

Who is this for? This was going to be sent to you. Well, just send it to me and I'll read it. Okay. And then Noah will have to read this one. It means a lot what I just read. Okay, so this is Andrew's phone. And this is really fun to play with your friends

because it sounds like a bot you. Yeah. Hey, Dave, thank goodness. Thank you, thank you, sweet, for ping me, to thank you for ping. Thank you, thank you, sweet buddy. I love you. Thank you, buddy.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing me up. Thank goodness for me. Your heart, thank me all. I'm going to say thanks a lot. He's a very grateful guy yeah yeah yeah okay these are some of carlisle's hey day jj can i do not that to be able with my family to get my life done with the holidays so i'm not getting ready for the next day and i'm so grateful to be able

to love and to do tonight what please yesterday was the day before the day of my family life and my life is getting better now but i'm getting back into the back of my family life. And my life is getting better now, but I'm getting back into the back of my family life now, getting in the worst day in life, and I can get it to do it now. And then I wrote back to her. Why do I feel like that's Carlisle's memoir? Like, doesn't it sound like it? It does.

It really captures an essence of you, and it changes for each person you would text. And then I wrote back to her, hey, I got back in about a week, and I can do it tomorrow if I get back in the back next day. And then I have a call. Thanks so much. Thank me.

Thank love you. Thank you for your support for me. Thank you. So sweet. You please, please thank me. So grateful. I have a family. Merry Thanksgiving holidays.

Love, love. Thank love for all my life. You have so grateful too. So grateful to be grateful to have my life with family and family. Christmas life is getting back to me. It's grateful to have life. Christmas life. I do feel like our phones say thank you a lot they have grateful in there i i don't know if it's

and they're personal as i thought they're recent because it's all about christmas and thanksgiving noah will you read what i just wrote to you okay yes hey babe i just got off the drive through the door so sorry babe babe i don't have time for tomorrow to drive back home i can get a ride home the house and what yl drive back by then i'll drive back home the house tomorrow thanks thank you for sending i mean that is the gist of how i talked to noah it's kind of like if a bot yeah i mean it's it's it's definitely like sometimes it's fun to actually pick out of the three because then it's a little bit more i do that at the beginning and then i go crazy so i'm gonna write dad to my dad dad dad said is yes i guess oh no it said babe to my dad fuck dad said yes i guess i think i don't

want you to lol i thank you so much babe i think you're doing it right now with me and you have to have a good job. And I guess I think I can have you back to work with me and you have them. It's so fun for some reason. Man. So can I ask a question real quick? Yeah. Is it racist? Oh, gosh.

For someone to do an impression of anime cartoons if they're a white person. Like any anime? Well, anime is generally like, let's say Japanese anime in like doing an impression of what Japanese sounds like

to an American, to an English speaking person. Isn't there a whole festival for that called Comic Con? Okay, not dressing up like it doing the verbal doing the voices of anime from someone who doesn't speak japanese and kind of like you know freestyling japanese i don't think so however i'm not general public for some reason i don't know why i played this thing last night my friend did and it does an impression of anime and it's so funny,

and I can't share it with the world because Carlisle and Chris were like, you'll get canceled because you, now I can talk about it, but there's a video. It's like the fucking apprentice tapes of Trump. Apparently there's somewhere where he,

like he's not getting canceled because it's apparently, there might, I might have a recording of my friend doing a perfect, hilarious impression of anime. It's's so funny it is unreal how good it is yeah and i can never share it with anyone because i might get canceled i mean and i think and the thing is i said if i don't share it because i'm like japanese people i don't want this can only be for my white friends how racist is that i want to share it with the world here's the thing i don't i don't

think japanese people anime is funny and they don't talk anime people do not talk differently i'm not making fun of japanese people i'm making fun of it's not even making fun of it's just what it sounds like and if the anime was italian we could do that all day long no one would care right well there's this guy that this is really fascinating and it kind of brings me to what i was talking about um man who does gibberish of different languages let me just pull this up because this is pretty awesome like if someone did a jewish cartoon i wouldn't give a shit like at all so this is a guy so this is pretty good. And this is good for audio. So here we go. This is a guy that I saw on like, you know, Instagram or something.

This is what languages sound like to foreigners. What English sounds like to non-English speakers. Do you still eat a gimbal cloranger? There's a Terry Hall van. The locks does decide the older guy or yaps here. And Lang. But his next few tastes Denver or lobster. What Espanol soundsgare yaps here. And Lang. But his next you taste, Denfor or Labster? What Espanol sounds like to non-Spanish speakers.

Bueno, hay latos en rojarril sellos la pumultad. No, ya habían los centenos más rusículos por dar. El huelpo gusano tiesa lo que hicieron. It's all gibberish. Yeah. What Arabic sounds like to non-Arabic speakers. Por ir tu culjadica, las hijalas y el puro. Javcar es smooth.

All gibberish. All different. Hello to Sandy Bridgethorpe. Same folly as they typed, didn't he? Well, Dunny of Handforth permits the kites entirely. By to talk the chanachorist. And the perry. Begs be the diskyton for the day, Yordsmith. Sep, it did set them in up for us the sonnet through Leidenbra. Oh, love and trick guide through Lockford and Angebrick. What French sounds like to non-French speakers. Ah, font pitié la farmasse l'outiquement.

Oh, la, la. Vous souviez les temps paralytes le panfiette? Voilà, dit et homme ça, tricolage à my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. this guy's voice is incredible he's amazing what italian sounds like to non-italian speakers i mean it goes on and on.

We still have a minute and 11. Yeah, here we go. Here we go. That's what... ...Japanese sounds like to non-Japanese speakers. Okay. Now, Carlisle and Chris said that guy is Spanish, so he's allowed to do it.

He's some kind of ethnicity. Yeah, but none of that makes sense. None of that makes sense. I get it that white people have privilege, and so we're not supposed to. But if you are sounding like the way something sounds, when is it an impression, and when is it a racial mocking i guess when you're trying to be sensitive if someone's offended i would like to know but i just i don't think japanese people would be offended by someone doing a fake anime this is what we gotta do we have to

you read this all the time in comments people go well look at three white people talking about what a japanese person would feel we just gotta got to call our Japanese friend and say, hey, is this racist? But then Japanese people might say, like the context of that video, he's just highlighting all the different linguistic things with languages. Okay, I get that. That's why it's not racist.

And no one's calling that, maybe one or two people might, but I didn't see any comments like that. And I read through the comments. I'm wondering if I were to play my white friend doing an impression of what it sounds like when she walks in and her boyfriend is watching anime and what she hears yes and it's so funny but i can't play it for people because it would be i think it's only raised when we're like talking about it this much well that's the thing like i think if you just played it i don don't think... I've changed my take on it. I think you should play it.

But I think that... Well, I don't want to because I don't want to get canceled. Don't say who the friend is. I could get canceled just by playing it because it's my audio that I own. Also, what if you just said she was Asian before we even did this?

I thought about doing that, but that's a lie, and I don't lie. No, I know, I know. But it would be interesting. I'm just saying the context of it. I think it becomes a problem if... It's't lie. No, I know. I know. But it would be interesting. I'm just saying the context of it. I think it becomes a problem. It's about anime.

It's not about... Yeah. It's about the style of anime more than it is about the actual Japanese language. I'll play it for us, and then we'll see. It's also how specific it is. It's just too good. Do you know what I mean? If you're going like,

Here we go that was great that was not racist at all because it's specific i think at some point she does like a like she did like a african yeah well that was i don't know what she was doing to that one tribe in the middle of africa someone knocking on the door in that no my thing is that it's specific so like i have a joke where i make fun of one gay guy and i do his voice and i'm not like hey you know like it's not too yeah when you generalize it then it starts becoming more racist because then you're putting everyone in the same box of the asian so if you're doing like oh i, I eat rice. That kind of shit. That's racist. That's not racist to me. And I think, I would say, if we

called any Japanese, they would not think. That's a specific thing. It was just making fun of how in Japanese stuff that there's always like a little girl and like an old man and then she's always making her voice go up this high. And I guess she could do it in English, but it just wouldn't be maybe as funny

because to someone who doesn't speak Japanese, that's what it sounds like. Yeah. But I think it's just... And it is a talent to be able to mock a language, like not mock a language, but do a language, like that guy did,

like do gibberish of a language that sounds real. But it's years of white people making fun of Asians and not seeing them as human. Like, the same way as, like, you know, like, let's say, you know, even if it is specific, it might be a problem. Like, if someone did blackface and then they're like, no, I just did Michael Jordan. Like, I'm doing Michael Jordanordan i'm not doing all but because of the history of it it doesn't matter if you're just doing a one person so it depends on the history of it too like we don't have a history of like yes i get that also like you know we dropped a bomb on hiroshima like like there's history of us like right actually killing Asian people so like

that's why like if if if we dropped a bomb on Italy and then 20 years later hate stuff going on constantly yeah that's I get that like that but that being said you I think they have a sense of humor and be able to laugh at it laugh at that I wonder like I hate when we like think like oh they couldn't have a sense of humor about like. I think that's fucked up, too. It's like, oh, they couldn't handle the joke. Because Asian people probably make fun of anime. Yeah, they probably make fun of how you talk. Well, they definitely make fun of how I talk.

Everybody does. Yeah, I can see an Asian person being like, oh, I grew up in the forest. Look at me. I'm going to name myself that. So this is Conan talking fake Armenian. To another Armenian person. Yes. But that changes the context too because he's talking to an Armenian person.

It's kind of like with Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry did a whole episode on him saying the Japanese word. Final thought. That's what I kind of like about Curb is that it addresses the thing that could get you canceled. But it's like, wait, can we ask why this would get me? He goes into it he runs into the thing that everyone's like not talking about i feel really dirty when i have a tape that i'm like playing for my white friends and i go oh i want to play this on my podcast and they go no no no you can't that's just for that's just for us whiteys it's like well this feels like some kind

of that feels wrong to have this thing that i'm not allowed to share but if i see what you're saying if it were to put something out there that would make would uh justifies people's blind hatred towards a sub another uh sub not sub but like another people then yeah like it wouldn't be good but i don't think that's what that was doing it was just like no it just sounded like the thing yeah it was not that yeah that is so far from say but it was just gibberish and you were just making fun of you're doing a fake okay what about what was that guy doing what about a white person that grows up in japan and has and speaks japanese like like there's what do you mean he'll have a japanese accent and he's a white person doing gibberish Japanese which is like kind of making it seem like it's just this goofy

sounding language like we're I think like Japanese people if if some people do mock Japanese and you and do the voice like oh all it's always sounds like you know you've heard of certain languages always sounds like they're screaming I'm not saying that but Japanese but like certain languages you know um it always why are they always screaming or whatever and it's like because that's just what it sounds like to us because we only because i speak one i'm realizing that it's me being ignorant because i don't know this language so are you just i don't like the idea of never addressing something because it's going to possibly offend someone it's better to be like hey does this is a thing

I've noticed can we talk about it and I just don't like this world of like oh I can only say this in in a safe space because I otherwise then that to me is racist if you're hiding things. Then the safe space is somehow racist. Because you know there are people that

say the n-word in private and then they are people that say the n-word in private yeah and then they they are the outside that world they they never say it does that make it right because they never you should never say it ever and if you or you say it everywhere or yeah or just be honest with yourself and then we can address it because if you take the things you do out in private out in public that's where people can correct it and be like here's why that's offensive so i guess that's kind of what i'm asking is um explain to me why that is offensive and i can see why it could be yeah i just think like with curb and how he does it he does it in a way though that like it's almost like a cheat code to then have laughter from racism or anti-semitism with having the the guise of being like oh no i'm just i'm

joking about it but i he almost buffers it in a way that makes it safer for him to make that joke which is fine and i think it makes it more palatable and able to have a discussion rather than dude 90 most people could just handle the joke without it having to be like spoon fed like politely. You know what I mean? I just don't like living in a world where we have to act like we're all the same. It's my joke about when you see

a dog with wheels for legs you can be like oh my God what happened to it? But if you see a person with a wheelchair in a wheelchair you have to be like I don't see it. Nothing's different about you. It's like yes there is. That doesn't mean you're a bad person you speak japanese and i don't know understand what it sounds like but i don't think less of you because of that but if there's a connotation that they are taking from that or dumber people take from our talk about it like oh that makes them less than then that's a problem if i'm like instigating that but from

where i'm coming from i don't think i'm better or less than anyone ever ever because of but black people have a different skin tone than me for me to not acknowledge that their skin is darker and to act like no we're all the same color i don't see color that is to me stupid but that's me talking as a white person where the color of my skin doesn't affect me from, you know, in my day to day life. So obviously I don't, I'm, I realize that I'm talking from a, you know,

an ignorant perspective, but I don't think the solution is acting like things aren't there or that some things don't sound different or funny to me because they're different. And I think it is hilarious to hear what like white people set or you know not white people but like english-speaking you know or yeah like what english-speaking people sound to people who don't speak english i think it's funny i think it's growing up because we sound ridiculous i think it depends how you how to what you said it's like how how do you grow up how many many actual black people have you been around?

How many Asian people have you actually been around? If you're just kind of going off generalization. But I haven't been around that many Japanese people. So am I not allowed to have an opinion of someone who's not been around the Japanese culture in a real way? I'm not allowed to say that based on my lack of experience around Japanese culture, this is what it sounds like to me isn't that okay to say yeah it should be yeah i think so i'm just saying that i'm acknowledging i don't know what i'm talking about so as someone who doesn't know what they're talking about this is what it sounds like to me that doesn't mean i think i'm better than anyone that's the thing it's like just because you don't i can't help that i haven't i mean i guess i can help it i

could expose myself to more and i'll get on that but haven't i mean i i guess i can help it i could expose myself to more and i'll get on that but then then okay if i'm spending time spending time around japanese culture i'm not spending time around chinese culture and so now i can't comment on chinese culture because i haven't spent a lot of time around them like you could have no opinion about something that you haven't experienced their experience but what if you acknowledge that you have it and you're coming at it as a dumb person yeah then can't you comment on things i think you can i think you can i'm just saying that these are the common arguments that like oh you know i'm not i do get it though like i do get like i grew up like i didn't know that many asian people i remember being in new york and working at a

place and this asian guy came up and he had a either a Southern accent or like a New York accent. And I was like, this is like, because, you know, sometimes if it's just first generation, they actually almost, they sound similar to their parents or they just don't have an accent at all. And I'm like, wow, this is new. And like that just shows me how like. Yeah, because you were dumb dumb who thought that every Asian person should sound the same because you didn't have that much exposure to it. That's what I'm saying.

I know that's dumb. But you can admit that you're dumb. Agreed. Or that I haven't experienced it. But some would say you don't have a right to say anything because you're dumb. And it's like, well, that's stupid because. Well, I don't know if it's so much dumb.

It's just not being exposed. Well, yeah, dumb. Like ignorant to this thing. Whatever you want to call it. But I am dumb. But I get what you're saying. All I'm saying, though, is like, let's say the problem is is that take that person that's never heard a new york accent or like seeing asian people outside of like as a as a group like you know some guy

in nebraska who then he talked oh they talk like ching chong ching you know whatever yeah fuck that guy and that's the problem that guy's not saying uh as someone who doesn't know anything it all sounds like that but then if you play the anime saying they all sound like that guy and and now we're also saying that guy in nebraska that's another thing that he hears that how many nebraskans have i hung out with it might be racist but if he hears it cloaked within all of this bullsh not bullshit but like you know the way we're examining it maybe he will open his eyes to the fact that oh he's dumb so like yeah if that is just a clip that's in a vacuum that's like this is what anime sounds like maybe it could help him hate people that are different than him more

but i just don't think that the solution is not ever to talk about it talking about it because languages that aren't your own sound funny sure when they aren't your own they just do whether it's english whether it's ptasd ptasd it's hilarious that's racist and i we're canceled towards what people that have been in accidents no i don't know many but yes no i just i i think what happens though it's like when jokes like edgy jokes or whatever where it's like no they know i'm joking then it just, to the actual racist person, it just solidifies their point, and that, oh, this comic agrees with me.

It gives them fuel to the fire. They don't understand the nuance of it. Well, that's why you have to couch it with trying to have an intellectual discussion about the meaning of these things and where it actually comes from. I just, I don't know. And if you're an Asian listener, write into us.

I'm not someone who's anti-woke culture. I'll apologize for this if it offends someone. I'm saying this because I would like people to inform me of whether or not it is wrong to have had this discussion, played this. If you couch your opinion about another culture that you have myopically

because you acknowledge that you don't know what you're talking about and you see a stereotype and you want to acknowledge like, hey, it's come to my conclusion that most of the people that I see do this thing and you couch it with, but I don't know what I'm talking about

because I've never been to this country and I've never really, but does that, are you allowed to say that? I don't know. It's like saying, I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I don't mean to be mean. I don't mean to be racist, but. No, but I'm asking. I know, I'm just saying that's what't mean to be mean. I don't mean to be racist. No, but I'm asking...

I know. I'm just saying that's what happens. Why do you have a southern accent when you say that? Sometimes stereotypes are correct. Sometimes white people don't know how to dance. You know what I mean? Sometimes stereotypes are right. Yeah, of course. That's why stereotypes happen. But I understand that you can make stereotypes

about white people because white people haven't been persecuted in the way that other cultures have. So's different to be i don't think that helps your point like i when people do that and then they're like well you can't be racist towards white people but then they do the same thing they're like well we're allowed to do that towards white people that doesn't help your point to me what do you mean like people will go you know they'll make oh oh my, I went and bought some stuff from the Gap. And they're like making fun of how white people talk.

Yeah. And they're like, no, we're allowed to do that because it's not racist towards white people. But you're just, I don't think. You said that to me that because you said that because in the past, Americans have, we dropped the bomb. We like, we targeted, they've been uh you know victimized by us in the past whereas white people i'm saying we they we don't come with that context underneath it i get

that but i don't think it helps your argument as someone that's a minority or whatever to then make fun of white people and be like well we get to do it you don't get to do it because then that's going to make the white person want to do it either more or I don't think that helps your point. But as a white person, of course you feel that way. Well, I'm Jewish. There you go. You always got that. Okay, we have to go. That's the reason why my

family converted. I'm so glad we figured everything out today. And thank you for being here, Carlisle. Tomorrow we're going to have a special All Fanthrax episode to close us out for the week um don't be cut and Jack of all trades John Stewart is back

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