The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #169 Bucked Tradition, A Murder Podcast

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

Nikki and Andrew are doing a nighttime pod and decide to throw out the rundown and review a podcast from the top of the charts called Morbid: A True Crime Podcast. They both listened to episode 295, e...xcept Andrew fell asleep during the assignment. Nikki learns why Andrew never wears a belt, ponders how she would be as a murderer and gives a hack to beat a lie detector test, all while summarizing and analyzing the Mary Morris' murders. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:00:38 We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the
Starting point is 00:00:55 rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom
Starting point is 00:01:18 of world-class experts into easy to digest, actionable tips. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that too. The Happiness Lab's how-to season starts January 1st.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast The Nikki Glaser Podcast Here I am Hey guys, welcome to Tuesday's show It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast Right out of the gate, this is a special episode We're recording it on Monday night because we have a full day of shooting on Tuesday And otherwise we were going to have to get up at like 6am to do it And that's just not going to happen This is a special episode. We're recording it on Monday night because we have a full day of shooting on Tuesday. And otherwise, we were going to have to get up at like 6 a.m. to do it.
Starting point is 00:02:09 And that's just not going to happen. And we would be all groggy and weird. And this way, we're like jazzed. What is it? Eight o'clock at night? Yeah. Here in Cabo? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Andrew's here. Noah is not here. Yeah. She had jujitsu class or something. Fun. Right? I mean, I thought you fired her. Well, this is just the beginning of the end.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Oh, okay. No, Noah's not going fucking anywhere. No, no, I'm kidding. If you notice anything during this show, it's that it's very, you can tell Noah's not here. No one's steering the ship. Oh, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:02:43 We are. There's an old man. There's just a claw. I don't know anything about sails. And the ship is just. Or steering the ship. Oh, no, no, no. We are. There's an old man. There's just a claw. I don't know anything about sails or steering. Yeah. We're no compass. We're in the night sky trying to use the northern star. I'm using the big zipper.
Starting point is 00:02:58 And I'm even looking at the little zipper. And also, that doesn't tell you much of anything. No, it just makes me want ice cream. Do you ever see Orion's belt? Those are the ones I can see. I don't wear belts. You don't? No. No, it just makes me want ice cream. Do you ever see O'Ryan's belt? Those are the ones I can see. I don't wear belts. You don't? No.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Wait, why? I've never seen you wear a belt. Yeah. Why not? Guys don't wear belts anymore. It's not a thing. That's not true. I only wear a belt if I tuck in a shirt.
Starting point is 00:03:18 I never tuck in a shirt. Why don't you tuck in a shirt? Because when do I need to tuck other than golf? And then I've learned that I don't even have to tuck on a golf course. There's just morals and morals. Yeah. There's no morals on a golf course. There's like the idea. There's it's country club etiquette type stuff.
Starting point is 00:03:35 It's weird because you dress as you dress perfect. You could talk about how you cheated on your wife with your maid. Yes. And everyone laughs, but you got your shirt tucked in, so you're a good guy. I'm so fucked up. Yeah, so...
Starting point is 00:03:54 So we're doing an episode without Noah just because she couldn't be at this one, but by God darn it, she's going to be putting in all the things that we need, all the sound effects that we're not even going to probably use today. And no one doesn't even know we're doing this. We're being bad little podcast hosts.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Yeah, don't tell anyone. Please don't tell Noah, you guys. She will listen to it, but don't tell her. She has to listen, but do not tell her after she's listened to it and put this out there because we're doing something bad. We're going off script big time.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Yeah, we're trying something here that might burn worse than what well what we'll talk about later later uh future ham drip um okay drip ham post ham ham drops ham drop so that's a future callback that you'll get later and you'll go, Oh, that really wasn't worth how much time they spent on that. Um, so this is what we're doing. We got into a conversation on the way back from a shoot today about the charts.
Starting point is 00:04:55 You said that we were doing pretty well in the charts. I said, how well, and you were like, well, I had to dig a little bit, but I found us. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:02 We charted. We're chart. We're charting. Thank you so much. You guys for listening to us and telling your friends about us. I'm so flattered that people enjoy us. And I'm always looking on the subreddit podcast to see if people are talking about us. They never are. But those people are snobs and they listen to very highly curated podcasts, which ours
Starting point is 00:05:19 is more free-flowing daily show. And I think they're more listening to ones that we're going to cover today because what are we doing today we're taking on uh the top number one podcast yes we're not taking it oh I'm taking it on oh we're going after it well we're kind of we're we're just gonna we're actually going to do a podcast about a podcast yes because we were talking about the number one podcast and you said that the number one podcast is this podcast called Morbid.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Yes. Right? It's a murder podcast. Mm-hmm. I actually heard about this podcast last week because I was talking with David Spade who has a new podcast out
Starting point is 00:05:58 that's doing very well and it was number two in comedy but he was like a little annoyed because he was like, Morbid, this podcast Morbid was number one but is it a comedy? It's like a murder annoyed because he was like morbid this podcast morbid was number one but is it a comedy it's like a murder podcast and i'm like well there can be comedy podcasts but also just know that you're number one in comedy because you can't don't count them because morbid
Starting point is 00:06:14 is number one overall yeah so they can have overall and like that's great like do you but do you need it's like when um at the emmys where they do like a musical or comedy series and it's like what musical series are there yeah and then mamma mia wins yeah okay maybe there are musical series i don't know there's some kind of category i get what you're saying category i get what you're saying um so anyway i was like what's this morbid about? Because it's doing pretty darn well. And I like murder podcasts. I've listened to Generation Y. I've listened to- Yeah, Serial was my very, very favorite.
Starting point is 00:06:54 The first one. The second one, I just couldn't really get into, like most people. But I definitely dabble in murder podcasts. If I read about a cool murder or something very interesting on the subreddit podcasts where they're like this episode check out this episode i'll like go into that episode of that podcast but generation y is one that i really liked and it's just bare bones i don't really want comedy mixed in with my murder okay you don't need like a little ginger
Starting point is 00:07:22 with your hot freaking sake or not hot sake and i do oh a palate cleanser yeah well i take the palate cleanser as the me undies ad that i have to sift through okay after i hear about a woman being brutally raped and i mean it goes together i guess alive the guy went in under me undies i don't know i'm just saying like it it works for you like a little but you don't listen to murder podcast well here's the thing a lot of times the ad will be like she was brutally murdered and her skin was pulled off her body all right now here's an ad from stamps.com like it has nothing to do with it which is i think even weirder i think you got it connected kind, oh, like SPF sunscreen should be with someone
Starting point is 00:08:09 that got their body skin peeled off. No, that's, well, let's don't connect because it would not protect you from fire. Huh? SPF would not protect you. Maybe it'd protect you for one second. Yeah. SPF 6,000? That'll protect you from a flamethrower.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Oh, my God. Yeah. I just think it's fun. Okay. So what we wanted to do was we go, let's listen to this podcast. Let's listen to the latest episode of this podcast, Morbid. Maybe we could learn something, like what we could do. Listen, it's great to consume other podcasts, especially the number one podcast, and I decided
Starting point is 00:08:38 to give it a try. So we listened to the same episode. This is episode number 185. Or 275. Do something like one of those. The latest one. The 275 do something like the latest one the latest one yes the latest one but it was on saturday and it's uh the murders of mary morris and yes i said murders of the mary morris says because there are two women named mary morris who were murdered yeah well there's a tongue twister 295 295 um they were murdered on uh the day after each other one after the other in uh the houston texas area about 40 minutes or 40 miles from each
Starting point is 00:09:16 other now i don't know which one i'm sure they're they're not both the same but does it really matter to you how if it was 40 minutes or 40 miles right it doesn't who cares no i mean for it depends on if you're driving 100 miles per hour same thing hindsight's always 40 40 so true you go uh let's go back to the year 2000 we're talking pre-911 towers haven't fallen yet i always date things when i see a date around that time i go oh my god either we were just affected by it or it hadn't happened yet. But do you think a murder in Houston is getting affected by whether the towers fall or not? Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:51 There's just a different vibe in the air after 9-11. People are a little bit more anxious. That's when we started to turn against each other. Things started. I just I do. I think I think things were weird. There was anxiety going on. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Right after. And right before. So this was before. So there was. You were taking people to the gate to say goodbye. So the guy that murdered these women. TSA was just like a pat on your fucking shoulder to make sure you weren't. The guy that murdered these women wasn't anxious at all because it was pre 9-11.
Starting point is 00:10:20 This guy was normal who just had a bad day. So it must have taken a lot for this to happen. And you think, what I think about the towers is that pretty much, yeah, I think cell phone towers. Because around 2001, that's when cell phones became ubiquitous. And that's a big thing in solving crimes is if they're cell phones. That's a big word. I really thought you were going with it. It is a big word, and I'm proud I used it in a correct way. Okay, can I ask a question?
Starting point is 00:10:46 When did you get your cell phone, your first cell phone? I didn't believe in cell phones. I didn't believe in email. I am quoted as saying. You can't not believe in it. You didn't believe in it for yourself. In college, sophomore year in college, in the year 1999, I am quoted as saying, I don't believe in email.
Starting point is 00:11:01 I don't see it being a thing. And boy, was I right for my email. You get way more emails than me. I mean, you also weren't using Amazon until COVID. You really stay away from things that are going to keep you from connecting with your fellow man. But were you actually going to the post office to send letters? I feel like you weren't someone who would ever find a stamp.
Starting point is 00:11:25 You wouldn't have even known how to go about that. So you weren't corresponding with anyone. I might have bought nine stamps in my life. When did you finally go, okay,
Starting point is 00:11:33 I gotta get an email address, I guess, when you started doing comedy and they were like, how are we gonna book you? with real estate. I remember getting a Gmail when I started real estate.
Starting point is 00:11:40 I had a Hotmail account in college, just, you know, because that's how professors started to get in touch with you i didn't believe an email i didn't want a cell phone i didn't believe in cell phones and then i really didn't believe him when i got one and then i called my girlfriend and i would talk to her on the phone for about it you know like a thousand
Starting point is 00:11:59 minutes over i would just hear her breathe i was like do you want to just sleep together on the phone throughout the night and then my dad called me the next day he's like really fucking you're 800 above actually he didn't call me i just realized that yeah but he was paying the bills yeah yeah yeah so i would have to call him be like hey you know i fell asleep listening to this person who hates me breathe i fell asleep listening to her grinding against another guy. Yeah, I was listening to white noise. Yeah, yeah. While she was fucking the quarterback. Speaking of. Which one? Quarterbacks.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Oh, yeah. You're really into it. Is he a quarterback? Let's throw it out there. We'll see what happens. Does anyone know? No, I'm a taken woman. I have no interest.
Starting point is 00:12:36 For me. For you? Jimmy Garoppolo. If you're out there and you want to do a threesome. Oh, my God. Why aren't more people
Starting point is 00:12:44 talking about that guy? They are, man. Are you're out there and you want to do a threesome. Oh, my God. Why aren't more people talking about that guy? They are, man. Are you sure? Yes. Really? Yeah. He's one of the most perfect looking people I've ever seen in my life. Like movie stars.
Starting point is 00:12:55 And he's not even in movies, you know? He's like if Joe Namath had a nose job. I don't know. I know the name Joe Namath. Yeah. I know Joe's Namath, but I don't. Yeah. I couldn't put a face.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Didn't he have blonde hair, Joe Namath? No, Joe Namath had long, wavy hair, and he wore big feather coats, and he played for the Jets, and he won the Super Bowl, and he's from Alabama, and he talks like this. Okay. And he was just a sex symbol. Okay. He was like Harry Chest. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:22 I mean, I've heard the name a bunch. It's one of those guys that I know the name i could never pick them out of a lineup speaking of lineups there's not one for these murder cases because no one knows who the fuck did it but we have some speculation now what happened was in october 2000 this is october 12th and i believe like 13th or something 2000 sorry the 12th and 16th so i guess they were a couple days apart. These two women named Mary Morris were murdered outside of Houston. That is weird. Do you know any Mary Morrises? Because I was thinking in my brain.
Starting point is 00:13:54 I knew two. No, no. I never knew a Mary Morris. I know there's that singer Maren Morris. Oh, yeah. I've never listened to anything she's done. She's great. Yeah? She's so little and cute. I think it made to anything she's done. She's great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:05 She's so little and cute. I think it made me jealous, and I go, I don't need this. I saw her at Sirius once, I remember. Oh, yeah. Oh, they were doing the Birds of Country tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the Lilith Fair of Country with her and two other country artists. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:22 So, no, I've never met a Maren Morris. So, the fact that two of them die within a few days from each other that is weird it is wild and um yeah because i don't know a mary morris either and that's i mean let's be honest one of this woman's name is mary lou morris and the other is mary mcginnis morris not that i think maybe they're just being like it was i don't know if it was their maiden name was more like they're trying to make it both Morris's but I think they were both Mary Morris's
Starting point is 00:14:50 so they were murdered some would say like right away they go this is a hitman who got the wrong Mary Morris and then had to quickly find the other one did you get to that I fell asleep this is the interesting thing is this is Andrew's idea was to take a murder podcast,
Starting point is 00:15:05 listen to it, and then talk about it on our podcast while Noah is away, the mice will listen to a murder podcast and talk about it and not really have any extra added information that you couldn't get from listening to Morbid. What point did you fall asleep
Starting point is 00:15:20 in the scheduled listening of, and by the way, you, hilarious, you fell asleep we're supposed to record at eight i got a text from you at 7 15 that said do you just want to do it now if you fell asleep why wouldn't you use the time between 7 15 and 8 o'clock now i'm suspecting you have some foul play during the hours of 7 15 and 8 o'clock you could have finished the podcast what were you thinking we were gonna do here's the thing i did finish the podcast but i i missed about 20 minutes of when i was sleeping right but wouldn't then i could have gone back and listened to 20 i kind of had
Starting point is 00:15:54 an understanding of what happened at the end this is what we're gonna do okay we're gonna find out what andrew knows about the murder things happened okay And have him tell me about it. And I'm going to actually do what I've noticed in this murder podcast that I listened to called Morbid that I thought, I'm going to be honest,
Starting point is 00:16:12 was going to have something other than just two people talking about the bare bones of a murder. Yes. I thought it was going to be more. Why did you think
Starting point is 00:16:20 it was going to be more? Top of the charts? Top of the charts. I want to know. Yeah. I thought it was going to be like... He thought he was going to be more top of the charts top of the charts i want a cereal yeah i thought it was going to be like he thought he was going to get a serial episode of like really great orchestration like uh you know uh it felt like i feel like we could easily i'm not trying to be a dick but or whatever i'm kind of complimenting us like if one of us actually decided to learn a little bit about the story we could do this kind of podcast i'm gonna
Starting point is 00:16:45 do my best to do my best my and honestly this is just me listening to one podcast and then half of another one about the same case and i'm going to try to make it compelling to you about this murder when we get back and to see if i could do it because i give these girls a lot of credit they started the podcast in 2018 they didn't get famous overnight they're not top of the charts it's not something i can go these girls just came out of nowhere. They earned this spot. It's also a scary thing to do, I think, as two women doing a podcast that's number one in the fucking world.
Starting point is 00:17:15 And there's fucking freaks out there that would love to fucking probably murder these women. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I'd be scared to do a podcast like this. It became that huge. About murder? You'd think that people would want to murder you? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:30 No, they don't. Murders aren't thinking that way, I don't think. How many murders do you know? I'm sorry, but if you're going to murder someone, wouldn't you just be scared of murdering anyone? Why would a murderer go, I'm going to go after someone who likes murder? Because he wants to get on Netflix.
Starting point is 00:17:43 He wants to get his own special. But who's going to report on it if he murders the people that are talking about it us no i don't think murder murders do do it to get talked about but i just i don't know i wonder if it doesn't happen i mean yeah of course but i i will say that listening to these girls talk about murder and this is why i don't listen to murder podcast it made me fucking scared yeah and i'm living alone here yeah i had my fucking little porch uh veranda open because it goes out into nothing and i closed it after listening for 15 minutes even though these girls both have delightful little cheery voices and there's nothing really that gruesome but these murders i just started getting i started getting the willies huh no i mean not not that viscerally
Starting point is 00:18:27 compared to other stuff i've listened to and it seems like compared to the people that did this aren't going to yeah compared to the searches i'm doing over there so let's come back i'm going to try to give you an actual good murder podcast based on what i heard from morbid and i'm also going to give commentary along the way that I would offer as a comedian. And I might do an impression of the girls podcast a little bit. I'd like to hear that impression because I have the, I have a,
Starting point is 00:18:55 they. Yeah. Yeah. Enough said. We'll be back with more Nikki Glaser. The Nikki Glaser podcast covers the morbid episode about the Mary Morris morbid murders. Pre 9-11.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Andrew! Coming! Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and
Starting point is 00:19:31 contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. It's about never feeling good enough. I feel like I'm always failing.
Starting point is 00:20:11 You'll learn how to handle relationships, how to be inspiring, and how to find your purpose. We make it this big pie-in-the-sky thing, and then of course we're all frustrated because no one knows how to get there. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself?
Starting point is 00:20:30 There's a guide for that too. The ability to approach somebody and make them experience desire for you in minutes or even hours is a rare and rather unnecessary skill, historically speaking. The Happiness Lab's how-To Season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who were the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season,
Starting point is 00:21:27 we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures
Starting point is 00:21:37 of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right?
Starting point is 00:21:50 Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry.
Starting point is 00:22:18 I really wanted to be a player boy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Together, we're going to expose him and life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours,
Starting point is 00:23:39 stalls, and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. All right. It's October 2000. 2000.
Starting point is 00:24:09 You thought I was going to say another number? I wasn't, baby. I was waiting for a second, and then I remembered. Nope. There's no other number coming with that. Now, Andrew. Yeah. Tell me about Mary Lou Morris.
Starting point is 00:24:19 That is the first woman whose body is found. Okay. I know a lot about this one. Yes. Because I was wide awake for this. Her murder happened October 12, 2000. yes okay so what happened with her is she woke up early in the morning she blew her husband maybe i don't know allegedly allegedly no there's actually no one has alleged that and 17 years by the way all the numbers that we throw out unless they're a
Starting point is 00:24:42 very pertinent number they're gonna be off yeah something's not gonna add up i like that you're using words that detectives use okay so mary lou moore's wakes up she wakes up she goes to work a little bit earlier than her husband she turns down uh the road where what are you looking at? I'm just thinking to myself. Okay. I thought you were looking at notes or something. No, I'm actually envisioning the story like freaking... Not Mission Impossible.
Starting point is 00:25:15 He's up on the board. We all know what you're talking about. Yeah. The one in the future where he's doing the things with the air and the screen. Everything's like... Minority Report. Yeah. Minority Report is just Bumble. But yours is on the ground. Yeahity report. Yeah, minority report is just bumble.
Starting point is 00:25:25 But yours is on the ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're using your eyes closed. So, yeah, he figured out murder. Okay. Most people are just trying to find a date or swiping through TikTok. But anyway, so she goes to, she makes a left instead of a right. That means she's going to get gas at 7 a.m.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Wait, you're not saying this like these people. Can I just take you through this? No, no, no. I'll do a good job. I promise. But you just said she goes right instead of left. That means she's going to get gas. Why do you know that? Because her husband saw her through the window. Right. No. He walked her out to her car. Yeah. Kissed her goodbye.
Starting point is 00:26:02 And then he watched her peel off. Yes. I assume she peeled off yes i assume she peeled yeah she peeled off in her dodge and then he goes yeah and she popped her collar her jean now what was she driving a lumina a chevy lumina yeah okay um now that is going to lead to a joke later on for us now we're planting the seed for a little there's gonna be a ham drop later that is which is a future a future ham drip it's a call back a call forward it's a foreshadow a forward charity of a joke yes okay so she peels off in her chevy lumina yeah she peels off she goes to get gas she never gets to work she never goes to work and he knows that because the office called him and said hey no no no he doesn't know
Starting point is 00:26:43 that he just gets a call at two o'clock they do not say it's the office later on they find out it's the office but they're calling to see where mary is yeah she never shows up apparently it was her supervisor saying where's is mary there and he said no she's at work and then the person just hung up which is a good way to cover if you're already office if you killed her and then you're like oh where is she she never showed up but that's weird. So, people see there's a- What happened at 10 a.m. that day? People see a fire going off. About 10 a.m., right?
Starting point is 00:27:10 About 10 a.m. Yeah. And apparently, there's a lot of fires in this town outside Houston. Yeah, because the cops get the call and they go, fire's there.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Yeah, we don't really care. We're not really gonna check in on it. But then, when the guy gets a call and his wife isn't there, they get a phone call to cops. And now they start thinking, wait, what's going on with this fire thing? At 7 o'clock, someone else.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Fires still go. Oh, yeah, someone else calls about a fire. Someone else calls. And they realize that she's not in the passenger seat up in the front. And the car's on fire or was on fire. She's burnt. She's illuminated or was illuminated. Chevy Illumina. She was Chevy Illuminated. Ham. She's illuminated. Or was illuminated. Chevy Illumina.
Starting point is 00:27:46 She was Chevy Illuminated. Ham drip. Ham drip. Ham dropped. Back to drip. And then she's dead. This car's been burning for seven hours. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Seven hours. I guess it's found at five o'clock, and it was reported at ten o'clock. So it's burning for seven hours. That does add up. Now, the reason why- Now, is this adding up? It is adding up. And the reason why it's adding up is we didn't talk about this that her funeral was happening and uh someone
Starting point is 00:28:11 called about a funeral and then there was someone else's funeral another merry funeral oh god you guys I'm so sorry that was weird what I just said there it was if you're confused believe me so was the girl that called the funeral home we're trying to get you in the same state as the daughter who called the funeral home yes about her mom
Starting point is 00:28:29 Mary Lou who had died in the burnt car she called the funeral home yes after her funeral and said hey I would like to get
Starting point is 00:28:37 my mom's personal belongings oh yeah that were I'm guessing the burnt jewelry that was on her and they said we'll do that after the funeral. We'll give those to you.
Starting point is 00:28:48 And she's like, what? We buried her yesterday. What are you talking about? And then that's when they realized there were two Mary Morrises murdered. Mary McGinnis. Mary McGinnis. Now here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:28:59 So then the guy kills her. They don't find anything. Can I stop you one second? All he took was her wedding ring. Yeah. See, I remember that. And her purse. And her purse. But the purse could have been burnt up because this car was burning for seven
Starting point is 00:29:10 hours. Or it could have been a really cheap ring. Could have been a really cheap ring. And what did they use to burn the car? Manure. What did they also say about this woman before she died? That she was a great person. No one had one bad thing to say about her. Not one person. They searched the whole town and they said,
Starting point is 00:29:26 is someone going to give us something bad about this woman? No one did. Because who is going to say anything bad about a murdered woman after she's been murdered? No one's going to see a woman charred alive and go, hey man, she owed me 20 bucks. No one's going to do that. Except her husband who filed a life insurance policy.
Starting point is 00:29:43 No, that wasn't her husband. That was the other husband okay i don't know about this because this is where i fell asleep i didn't fall asleep yet so now wait can i i'm about yeah go ahead i just want to make a comment the the husband coming out and walking her to the road and kissing her goodbye and then watching her car go off and going oh wow she was going to work she would have turned right but i guess she's going to get gas in is he in a steve martin romcom like is this father of the bride for who watches someone's car go off and just kind of gazes at it as it drives off in the morning all the way to the end of the road yeah
Starting point is 00:30:17 do you know i'm saying like yeah it's a weird thing to take note of and we used to have that joke where you would put me in a cab if i was going to the airport. I'd be like, watch. Oh, yeah. And I'd hit the top of it. He'd go, take care of her, man. And I'd go, Andrew, stop it. I'd go, he is not anyone. He's my friend.
Starting point is 00:30:32 And you'd be like, dude, take good care of her. And then you'd like pat the car, keep patting it. And then you had to be left alone in that. And then I had to be alone and go, he is not like my husband or anything. He does not care if I'm going to be taken care of you can drive any way you want but don't you think if someone if i'm a husband and i know my wife is going to be murdered that day i'm gonna go well i walked her to the car i took her here like you have like all these like it's like that husband has been fully exonerated out by everything he has. He has nothing to do with it. But I just think it's a little weird.
Starting point is 00:31:07 What I think happens is that when someone dies, you put in these moments of sweetness and these tender moments that maybe just make it so that your last moments together are a little bit more special than they maybe were. But I don't know. If you're out there, how many times have you watched your significant other drive off? Maybe through the blinds so you can wait until they're turned around the corner
Starting point is 00:31:29 so you can then put on porn yeah yeah on the big screen or something you know what i mean that happened to my buddy he was in his full suit and she left for work and he just he's jerking off through the hole in his suit and she came home she goes, you dress up for that? No, he was already dressed up. Wait, so he was going to work and then before he went to work. He's like, yeah, all right, you're going to work, honey. Bye.
Starting point is 00:31:53 And she leaves and he's like all dressed. He's holding his briefcase and he leaves and then he's like, all right, I'm going to catch a beat while she's gone real quick. And she came back and he's full, you know, Versace suit fucking illuminating his cock wait a second do you feel like when now that you're living with someone is watching porn just like a well i guess your girlfriend works yeah and you so you spend enough time that she could jerk off you go you go golf and if she wanted to she could
Starting point is 00:32:22 and that if you if she were at work, you could. Yeah, yeah. But you save your stock. I usually save my stock. But since Wellbutrin, I've been able to, a couple days before, I'm good. Two days. There are times when I'm regularly hooking up
Starting point is 00:32:40 that I miss porn because it's not, you don't have to take care of someone else. It's very physically untaxing at all. Even as a girl who just lays back and gets it, there's a lot that goes into like having your body like penetrated and like having someone be on you. That I love. I mean, it's the best.
Starting point is 00:33:01 But it's very funny to say goodbye to your husband and you're in full work clothes and then you're just masturbating through your, you know, your ball gown or whatever you wear to work. You know? Yes. I mean, that would be very, very weird. So anyways.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Yes. Mary Morris. So her husband watches her go off and then she is found charred. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Well, very well done.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Yeah. Andrew. I mean, her body was too, but yeah, good job on, on recapping. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Anything else? When I kind of fell asleep, I, I heard doing as you were listening to this, like I was laying in bed with your eyes closed and I'm like a meditative position. And then I was like, man,
Starting point is 00:33:44 the wedding ring's gone. And then, oh, you know what? The last thing I know. What's the last thing you remember? What's the last thing you saw that day? I feel like I'm trying to interrogate you about what happened to this woman. We should do a podcast called Sleepy Man Listens to a Murder Podcast. And then we try to piece together the facts.
Starting point is 00:33:59 You try to make him the murderer. And it's a solved case, but he doesn't get to the end of it. And you have to solve it based on the things he remembers. It's like Wordle. He gives you a promo code for bowling branch sheets. Isn't it like Wordle? Like you kind of give me little hints, and I have to figure out the end? Okay, the last thing I remember, though,
Starting point is 00:34:17 is that the husband said he found the wedding ring. They thought it was stolen. That's the other woman. So you are coming in later. Oh, so that's why I fell asleep, and then I went into the other. Okay, so now you go. You take it was stolen. That's the other woman. So you are, you're coming in later. And then I went into the other. Okay. So now you go, you take it from here.
Starting point is 00:34:28 The other woman that was murdered was, she was a woman that worked in healthcare. She was formally divorced. Now had a new husband of about four years named Mike. Jay. There's a guy named Jay. That was the other woman's husband. I'm crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Feel free to keep shouting things that you remember. But wasn't there a guy, her job, that they think it was her? Yeah. Him? Yeah. Okay. Which one? It was the one I'm about to tell you about.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Okay. All right. Okay. Yeah, that's what I thought. So there was a guy that she, this girl worked in healthcare, and she worked with a guy named shit. What is his name? I,
Starting point is 00:35:06 Oh, Dwayne young, which do you remember any reference to Dwayne young? So interesting. Okay. Well, she, Mary McGinnis was working in healthcare.
Starting point is 00:35:16 She was married to a guy for about four years, new marriage. She had a previous, she had a daughter from another marriage, I believe named Katie, his stepdaughter. Um, she goes missing. I forget how she was missing.
Starting point is 00:35:32 Okay, so let me just walk you through this. Are you minority reporting over there? I have so many notes on this woman. She was killed days before and she was discovered on the day of the other woman's funeral. She was bubbly. She lived life to the fullest she was in plays she was in local theater she had relocated her family from west virginia to texas a couple years prior with mike but she had a lot of stresses in her life unlike the other mary um she her husband had uh accused her of her ex-husband no her husband current husband jay okay no mike
Starting point is 00:36:08 had found out she had been cheating on mike oh um they she had been having an affair mike found out about he confronted the guy who he thought it was the guy and his wife both were like that's not happening and apparently they patched it all up and it was fine and there was no issues there um but mary says things were mary's sister said things were not not that good in her relationship and that mary was definitely looking towards going to divorce even though they had been through couples counseling and things like that that they that mary was on her way to divorcing this guy she also had work stress because she worked in health care and there was this guy at work that was like she just butted heads with a lot what was his name duane okay his name was duane what did i just say duane young okay and she actually went to the hr department to complain about duane because he would just one day she came back to her desk and all of her photos were
Starting point is 00:37:03 facing the other way and then there was a threatening letter and then he also wrote a threatening note on her desk allegedly him not sure if it was him that said um like you're like uh death becomes you death becomes her oh i thought i ate your second half of your death will find you i thought sorry i i was dreaming so duane at the time um he's also like active on message boards okay i don't know what that has to anything to do with i thought that just placed us in the 2000s where people were the they were like i am kind of stuff no i mean message boards that was a whole other place where people would get on. I don't know what he talked about in those message boards, but he was active in them.
Starting point is 00:37:48 This got so bad that she went to the HR department. They decided that they were going to fire Dwayne. Dwayne claims they never fired him. He put in his two weeks. No one can tell what's happened. What everyone in Mary's life says is that Mary complained to the HR department. Dwayne the next day was fired but
Starting point is 00:38:05 Mary was asked not to come into work because Dwayne it was because of Mary they didn't want Mary there when Dwayne was asked to leave but apparently when he was asked to leave he came back and was banging on the windows and doors and asking to speak to Mary and he claims none of that happened he is still active on like different Facebook
Starting point is 00:38:21 groups about her murder and claiming his innocence and saying that this was all not, this did not take place. And that him and her. Weren't there other witnesses? She and, exactly. I'm like, where do these other people, why don't we talk to these people? If I was doing this podcast, I'd talk to a couple more people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:35 For sure. So then Dwayne's saying, no, we like hung out afterwards. We still had mutual friends. Everything was cool. This was not an issue. Then there are other, oh, the note said death to her. I mean, what is he going to say? What's this guy going to say?
Starting point is 00:38:50 You know? Well, what if it's true? Okay, I'm just saying. This is a reason, though. We're just going to take him for his word? If you're an asshole to someone at work and you're just a little work scamp, when that person gets murdered, everyone's going to think it's you no matter what. Because this guy could have just been an asshole at work.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Who doesn't have someone at work that if they disappeared you could go it's that person like if you died who do you think people would think killed you no way of course you're duane yeah they would go you know how many notes you've left no i think i think uh no they probably think you hired someone but no i would never that's the thing if i ever wanted to murder someone yeah i would never hire someone you would do it yourself yeah no way you couldn't do it i'm sorry no offense first of all i wouldn't do it because i would just be so scared of that's what i'm saying go i just it would be wrong first of all to take someone's life you're not getting rid of this body what are you gonna do if it was in self-, I'd have no problem murdering someone. Or if it was like they hurt my niece or nephew in some way and it was like just retribution. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Dude, I saw this clip the other night on Reddit. It was so good. This guy, his son was kidnapped and taken to another state. And yeah, I saw it taken on Reddit. I watched the whole movie. Taken seven. There's another one coming out. Anyways, go ahead so this guy this was in like the 70s and this was on broadcast tv before 9-11
Starting point is 00:40:11 way before 9-11 i think i mean again it doesn't add up it doesn't um so this guy his son was kidnapped and definitely molested all of the things that happen when kids are kidnapped and he was taken over state lines. And then they caught this guy and they freed the kid and the kid went home. And I guess the guy got information about what happened to his child when the child was kidnapped. And the guy gets brought back, flown back to the state where he's going to be tried,
Starting point is 00:40:41 where the kid is from, where he originally kidnapped him. And the guy, the, the, the father goes to the airport from, where he originally kidnapped him. And the guy, the father, goes to the airport incognito and you see him. Like a mustache on fake nose?
Starting point is 00:40:50 Yes. And you see him at one of the pay phones. And this is pre 9-11, you know that. So there's no security and you can just hang out at the airport. He probably was friends with cops in the area who tipped him off
Starting point is 00:41:02 that this guy was being brought in at this time and his plane was landing at this time. And the cameras are there covering the whole thing. And on live TV, you see this guy on a payphone pull his gun out and shoot this guy point blank in the head, kill him on national TV. And then he goes back to the payphone and hangs it up. And then the cops arrest him and go,
Starting point is 00:41:22 why did you do that? I think he did hardly any time. Well, what does it have to do with the did did someone listen to about me being murdered me murdering someone that's what i would do no no no no no no i get that but why did he hang up the phone like was he worried about the charges no no it's just a true fact that he went back to the payphone after he shot the guy and hung it up and then they go i call paul put your hands against the wall why'd you do this paul we're tipping you off because we thought you were gonna have a sign or something see this is a great morbid this should be an episode maybe it is an episode and we don't know it probably is there was a paul one that i saw but wait so a paul one
Starting point is 00:41:59 paul something i don't one of the morbid episodes had a name Paul in it. Wait, is this guy's name Paul? Didn't you say his name Paul? No. He was a Paul. No, you said Paul. Oh, did you just make up a name? No. I don't think I said Paul.
Starting point is 00:42:15 You said Paul. We were just letting you know so you can make a sign. Oh, I think I just made up a name. Oh. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:24 I was like, why did you get Paul from anywhere? Which is one of my favorite names, by the way, Paul. Here's the problem with this idea for a podcast because I think you're very good at the story part of it.
Starting point is 00:42:33 I was just getting off on a tangent because it was an interesting thing and I read it on Reddit and we have to do Reddit dump. You're already jumping ship here. I know. I was on a tangent but that's the way this podcast does.
Starting point is 00:42:42 I'm not saying you're jumping ship from me giving you a compliment. Oh. Okay, continue. Well, now that's the way this podcast does. I'm not saying you're jumping ship from me giving you a compliment. Oh. Okay, continue. Well, now I'm debating on giving it to you. Well, I'm talking about whether or not I can murder. I think that's pretty interesting and could be used against me someday. For sure.
Starting point is 00:42:55 But you'll never be on a pay phone. No. God, no. Do they even exist anymore? And post 9-11, you're not getting near that airport. No, I'd buy a ticket just to get in the gate area. So how many people died while they were getting moved i don't think i could shoot someone it's just such a terror it's such a loud noise i don't even like popping balloons but so many
Starting point is 00:43:12 so many people well so many i know like three died while they were getting moved from like one like they were in on it like that doesn't happen anymore where they they're like, we're moving. Oh, Jack Ruby shooting. Yeah, yeah. We're moving the guy now. It's like, what are you doing? Yeah, when did they stop doing that? Because that would be. Because you wanted to see him. Everyone wanted to see him. Everyone loved the perp walk.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Yeah. I think is what they call it. Oh, wow. Yeah. So here's the thing. You'd be extremely good at doing the research, but you don't have the time to do what this girl does on the episode. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Maybe you do, which would be fantastic. Because I'd love to be the guy that just chimes in while you're telling me the story. I think I'm not like, I'm sure these girls do deep dives on certain things. It wasn't that deep. This would take a couple hours of reading. But for me, I'm pretty fast with this stuff. And I feel like if I did a murder podcast, it would just, I'm just going to leave out the stuff you don't even need to fucking know i'm just gonna leave you like the really weird details and we're gonna make some jokes along i want to do murder of when an ex-girlfriend
Starting point is 00:44:13 or an ex-wife murders the husband and that's our that's our thing only women who are murdering only women that murder i think it's no because that's like that makes it yeah it makes it sexist in the other way and it i kind of like drawing attention to the fact that women get murdered a lot more because it makes us more on alert okay so so back to mary mcginnis oh should we take a break yeah we can take a break if we want we're gonna go to break catch john stewart back in action on the daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors,
Starting point is 00:44:54 it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. It's about never feeling good enough.
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Starting point is 00:45:54 The ability to approach somebody and make them experience desire for you in minutes or even hours is a rare and rather unnecessary skill, historically speaking. The Happiness Lab's How-To Season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical effort. We enjoy speaking to the people who were the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Hollander, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow,
Starting point is 00:47:02 Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy model.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread
Starting point is 00:48:03 than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control.
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Starting point is 00:49:08 A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So, Mary McGinnis is is it's tuesday folks you know what that means it's tuesday she's bubbly she lived life to the fullest now okay you know what i used to almost have a joke about this in my act when people say when when someone's died her smile she would just walk into a room and
Starting point is 00:49:43 she would light up the room and i wanted to do a joke about every room that i walk into i just turn on all the lights for the rest of my life so that when people when i do die they go when she walked in a room she lit up the whole room literally i would go on and turn on every light and then my dad going you know what when she would walk in she'd leave every light on all night long there's a smokestack burning somewhere then there's a nicky you know when you leave a light on in a room there's a smokestack spewing out garbage clouds of smoke into the sky because you left this light on and i then i would shiver in bed all night and just think the world was ending and it is so duane is
Starting point is 00:50:21 the guy she works with who's causing trouble who who's turning around her pictures, left the note that said, death to her. We don't know if he left it, but anyway. Death to her is very like Hezbollah, or not Hezbollah. So Mary gets trained in gunfire. What's that called? What? It's like jihad?
Starting point is 00:50:38 Yeah. Very jihad-ish of Dwayne. Yeah. Death to her. Anyways, go ahead. Maybe he just didn't like the Joaquin Phoenix script movie that was floating around at this time.
Starting point is 00:50:48 The movie, Her. Oh. It was ahead of its time because it's about falling in love with an AI. And they didn't really even have cell phones back then.
Starting point is 00:50:58 But Mary McGinnis did have a cell phone. Oh. Because she called her friend. She was at Eckert's. Yes, I know this part. Okay, tell me about this part that you remember from your sleep i thought this was a dream okay so eckert's was a
Starting point is 00:51:11 drugstore that was similar to walgreens a pre-night 11 walgreens bottom actually i know that because eckert's was everywhere in florida at the time okay big southern. Blue and white, I remember. So she was in Eckerd's and she called her friend and said, this guy is acting real strange. Which guy? This guy in the store following her around. But she didn't say Dwayne. She didn't say she knew him. No, she said he looked like a guy that hung out,
Starting point is 00:51:37 that she met through Dwayne. So I'm like, why are you meeting people through Dwayne? Is he just a guy that has people come by his office to hang out with him? Also, if you've cheated before, aren't you gonna, maybe she was through Dwayne? Is he just a guy that has people come by his office to like hang out with him? Also, if you've cheated before, aren't you going to, maybe she was fucking Dwayne. But anyways, but yeah,
Starting point is 00:51:50 so she's at Eckerd's. I don't think that's happening. She's at Eckerd's, guys following around. And she's talking to her friend. She calls back again and the next time she calls. So she calls her friend
Starting point is 00:51:58 and she goes, listen, I'm going to go back to the office because I have to log out of my computer. She was going around all day. She worked in healthcare and she would go do like visits with people and stuff. So she had to go log, go back to the office. She goes, I'm going to log out of my computer. She was going around all day. She worked in healthcare and she would go do visits with people and stuff. So she had to go back to the office. She goes, I'm going to log out of my computer
Starting point is 00:52:09 and then I'm going home because I'm scared. Now, before this, because of the Duane incident and who knows what else, she asked her husband to, she wanted to get a gun and she went and got trained to use a gun. Oh yes, I know this part. So he buys her a gun.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Yeah. She calls 911. She's getting brutally beat to death, killed. Why do you ruin the most crunchy parts? No, no, this is it. No, you just kind of throw away the parts that are the moment of scariness. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:52:38 And you just go, so when she's getting brutally... She calls 911. Nine, one. Then she hits one. 12 minutes after she hangs up the phone with her friend at Eckert's. And she pulls out of there. She calls 911. Yes.
Starting point is 00:52:52 And? She says, oh, wrong number. What does she say? Do you remember? She goes, I'd like a thin crust. She calls 911. She calls 911. Pre-911. And she said, I'd like a thin crust. She calls 9-11. She calls 9-11, pre-9-11, and she goes, she's saying, oh my God, I'm getting attacked.
Starting point is 00:53:13 Yeah. And apparently on the tape you hear her murder. She gets shot by the gun that her husband got for her. Yes. And they find her car. She is, and the other woman by the way was found in the passenger side seat her wedding ring missing her other jewelry on her her purse missing that was the first mary this mary was found in her car it's not burnt there is one bullet hole her gun
Starting point is 00:53:39 is in the passenger seat the passenger side door though is open and has blood on it so anyone who looks at this would at first maybe think it was a suicide because it's like a bullet hole to the head but once you examine the body and like all the forensics she was also beat up before that because she had bruises on herself she also had cloth fibers in her mouth so she was either like an Andrew Collin and would like chew on things or she was gagged. Or both. Yeah, and it's very sad and she was murdered with her own gun. And her ring got taken.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Which she kept, and her ring got taken, which she kept underneath the seat. Now the cops say they're not gonna release this 911. Because it's too brutal. It's sent chills through the bloodstream of anyone who's listened to it. Are you someone who likes to hear that kind of stuff?
Starting point is 00:54:26 I say no, but then every now and then a death will come up on TikTok for no reason, which is really fucked up. It's like some weird Russian video of someone getting just murdered, and I watch it. Like what? What's the worst thing you've seen? Reddit dump. What's wild is it's so fucked up that I probably like protect myself. Really?
Starting point is 00:54:49 By not remembering it. Or you fall asleep in the middle of it. Yeah, it's 15 seconds. Jake. So mind you. So then. But you really don't remember the most. I pretty much know every single disturbing video that is on the internet that people talk about
Starting point is 00:55:06 that they saw back in the day when they would go to watchpeopledie.com, when they would go to- Murders of death. What was it called? Faces of death. Yeah, faces of death. And there were all these,
Starting point is 00:55:15 a lot of those were fake, but a lot were real. But I pretty much know what happens in all of them. I've never seen any of them. I would never want to watch a beheading video. I would never want to, I've never seen any death on, on anything, but I can tell you what happens in all of them because I read descriptions
Starting point is 00:55:29 about it. And the one that everyone says is the worst audio is a man. Is everyone trigger warning? Is everyone, and please don't look this up. Like really don't be one of those people that's like, I actually, I want to look at it because I want to,
Starting point is 00:55:44 because these are really not good for you. Honestly, murder podcasts are not good for you. I was in a funky state of mind after listening to this thing. I was too. It does not titillate me. It definitely is morbid, which gives me. They talk about it too, how they talk about it. They're very.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Wow. Yeah, wow. Oh my God. Whoa. Whoa. Geez. I wrote down geez at one point oh she goes so um the passenger door was left open mary had been uh beaten severely and gagged at some point and she
Starting point is 00:56:13 goes jeez yeah wow there was a lot of that there was a lot of they didn't really break down anything it was weird they just go whoa it was like a oh, oh my God. It was like a video when someone watched, a reaction video. They would do commentary on it, but that's what people want. They want to have a Wikipedia article read to them in soothing tones of two people going like, no, this is weird. This next part. Like giving little things like, no, you don't normally seen this. Now this made me scratch my head.
Starting point is 00:56:42 That's what it was. Wow. But to say, geez, geez wow after you say someone i mean is it better that i'm like oh she was either andrew and shoot on something and then no it's not any better but it's at least a little bit more specific ouch yowza she was found with several bullet holes to the temple ouch whoa whoa uh just kidding yeah we just have like it it was a little bit i was i it's it seemed like an snl sketch of what a girls murder podcast would be at times which listen number one on the charts i have no reason they're doing it right they're doing something
Starting point is 00:57:21 right yeah um why are we talking about it Why are we doing a whole episode about it? They're winning. Winning. So this is crazy, though, that they find two women named Mary Morris that were murdered in their cars 40 miles minutes from each other. We don't know which because this is an official murder podcast. Yeah. Not yet. Also, both their wedding rings are missing, which I didn't know this, but they say in the podcast that when someone's wedding ring is, and sometimes I say wedding wing. Yeah. And also both their wedding rings are missing, which I didn't know this, but they say in the podcast that when someone's wedding ring is,
Starting point is 00:57:47 and sometimes I say wedding wing. Yeah. Because you will. I have to infantile infantilize it because I'm never going to get one. One day, one day a man's going to get on his knees and give me a wedding wing. Today I had the boat cat. We were on a boat filming some things in the boat.
Starting point is 00:58:01 Captain I had on MIDI rings. Do you know, do you know what midi rings are? No. Are they on the middle finger? Yeah. Well, no, they're in the middle of your finger. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:58:10 Most rings are midi rings for me because they can't go past my big old knuckles, but they're in the middle, and they can slip off easier because they're just not fully on. So I gave him my midi rings because I was going to jump in the water. It should be a bracelet for a normal person. How dare you? Or a cock ring for you. Thank you. Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:58:27 No, damn it. The other way. Yes. Damn it. Old tuna can cock. Ham drop. Take it back. You can't ham drop
Starting point is 00:58:37 a ham drip. So I gave the guy my rings and then at the end, I go, can I get my rings back? And he like oh yeah yeah and i go will you get on one knee to give them to me and he was like what and i was like it's just a joke about you it's right and he was like oh i thought they were earrings and it was just a totally missed bit oh man but i tried man are you marrying him yeah i have to you're engaged he gave me earrings that he thought were rigged so why so just because of the name so then if the names are the same well what they thought
Starting point is 00:59:10 it was a hit man who got a hit from mike the second mary's husband okay because mike asked actually also had an insurance there was an insurance policy that he was going to cash in on but it wasn't going to go to him it was going to go to Katie, her daughter. And we don't know how much it was for, but Mike also, when he reported the murder, the cops wanted to talk to him. He wanted to lawyer up immediately, which is suspect,
Starting point is 00:59:32 but would you murder up immediately? Let's say if someone- Lawyer up. Lawyer. Would you murder up too? I'd murder up. Would you? Yeah, I would need a lawyer.
Starting point is 00:59:40 If I went missing and someone said they wanted to talk to you, would you say, and you didn't do it, would you get a lawyer? Knowing me, I'd probably. No,
Starting point is 00:59:48 if you did it, you would probably not get a lawyer. Or would you? If I did it? No, if you, okay, so say I get brutally murdered,
Starting point is 00:59:56 and you're at the scene, like you're my closest of kin at that moment, and you didn't do it, would you lawyer up before you talk to the cops? The only reason why is because i remember at the crime scene make a murderer yeah there's that guy who's the kid that was kind of slow to him yeah he's very slow and i know i'm just a little quicker than him but they told him if he confessed to the murder he could go home and watch the royal rumble yeah i
Starting point is 01:00:20 would do the same thing but it would be the masters or something the US Open yeah I'd be like yeah I murdered Nikki can I go on it's day four I mean you should lawyer up because you don't know what you're doing but if I was innocent I wouldn't think to lawyer up but that doesn't mean this guy is guilty yes but he did ask to lawyer up immediately before he talked to them and he refused to take a lie detector which also
Starting point is 01:00:40 does not mean you're guilty because those can be willy nilly do you know how to beat a lie detector test yeah you tighten up your asshole yeah and then when you answer a lie you let it go because it will counteract the tenseness that you will have from having that line yeah it's really weird i could hook it up to your asshole how do you know no but wait that is a wait what why is that why does everyone tell you to do that? I don't know. I think...
Starting point is 01:01:06 And I recently heard if you're getting attacked by a dog, you put a finger up the dog's asshole. Why did you almost start doing baby voice again when you started saying that? And I heard that if you're ever attacked by a Wattwiler, you just put your little baby little finger up the Wattwiler's butt. And the Wattwiler will stop wallowing in your face.
Starting point is 01:01:23 If it's biting you yes that is a thing like lockjaw the only way to unlock a lockdoor is to horn them up and then suck their no i'm just kidding like it's just funny to think like rottweilers will stop killing you if you fucking make them come you just play with their balls a little bit yeah it's just like gentle be like gentle not too hard i'm gonna bite down harder i'm not mad at you um so back to the story so they think mike did it yeah they everyone kind of well the family on facebook now apparently you know like all these murder podcasts i also listened to the generation y why version of this story too before you knocked on
Starting point is 01:02:02 the door and you remember when you knocked on the door what i said duane here yeah i said is all right is that duane young yes which is the name of the guy the one when worked with that they said his name a million times in this podcast so when so andrew was like no it's andrew and i go duane duane young from work and you're like what and you go i go does not not ring a bell and And you go, no. And I'm like, then we're going to have a good old podcast because that is a major plot point. Look, I don't know. When I hear Dwayne, I think The Rock, and sorry. I will never think anything bad.
Starting point is 01:02:35 Here's the thing. Why weren't they able to figure it out? So what's the ending? What's the conclusion here? Or should we not get to that yet? No, well, the things that I thought were interesting was that the daughter, Katieie gets the life insurance policy she won't say how much it's for it doesn't really matter it's probably a couple hundred thousand dollars but katie people are
Starting point is 01:02:57 starting to notice months weeks after 40 years 40 miles after the murder, she has her mom's wedding ring on. And everyone's going, wait, that was a big factor of this case because the case was like obviously getting a lot of news around the Houston area because it was two Mary Morrises, both their wedding rings were missing.
Starting point is 01:03:15 And often when your wedding ring is missing, that's what a hitman steals to then bring back to the husband to be like, I did it. Now, if I'm hiring a hitman to kill my wife, I'm gonna go, don't bother my wife, I'm going to go, don't bother with the ring part.
Starting point is 01:03:27 I know that's a whole like part of what you do. And he's like, no, that, you know what? That's like tradition, man. He has a shirt tucked in.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Yeah. Save it for the movie with a belt on. I think that might've been the first episode that we did, but wait, but like, do not ask a question. Bring it back. I don't need you to do your little ritual.
Starting point is 01:03:43 So the ring was my wife and let's not ever talk again. No, that but the ring was taken from mary and then the next thing you know the daughter's daughter's wearing it around town and people go what the fuck but then he goes nope she we actually found it around the house we thought it was missing oh that was the other one but she she didn't she wasn't wearing it that day which doesn't really make sense because well i want to know is she someone that would take off her wedding ring why don't we know that because there are certain women that like yeah they'll take it off do the dishes they'll take it off when they're like you know getting fingered by someone else or fingering someone else or maybe she was cheating so she took the ring off they're about to jump off a yacht to film a show yeah she took the ring off it's a bitty
Starting point is 01:04:19 no it's a downy cock ring it's all the ring. It's all the way down. Yeah. Thing. Bottom-y. And then... So the daughter is wearing it, which I think is a little weird because she's the daughter from her first marriage. That's what I was gonna ask. So she's just hanging out with this new guy. So she's not Mike's real daughter. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:36 So Mike and her are just like eating dinner with this ring on. Yeah. And then also, Jay, remember Jay? Remember when you screamed his name before? Yeah. We'll tell you what happened what happened with this is the creepiest part of the whole thing jay who is the first mary's husband the one that was all burnt up okay very savagely and sadly with horse manure by the way
Starting point is 01:04:58 and she enjoyed riding horses so it's a little bit like wait did this person know to use the thing she loved most against her? That would be like someone, you know, using golf clubs as kindling to kill you. Yes. You know, but it turns out that horse manure actually is really good to generate fire. Well, it would probably be they'd use the woods instead of the irons. Are they actually made of wood? No. Oh.
Starting point is 01:05:20 But it's just for the joke. Yeah. Oh, that's not bad. Not bad. Do you think Tiger Woods was like kind of happy that his last name was a golf club? Yeah, he has the best golf name ever. He's a fucking Tiger Woods. That's like Lion Irons.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Fucking badass name. Do you wish you had a different name? It's like fucking Cheetah Putter. Do I wish I had a different name? A lot of times. Yeahey golf golf cart yeah no it has to be an animal tommy title oh yeah okay barker our bark giraffe golf cart i'm doing a soft g and a rg you do wish you had a different last name now are there other andrew collins like if you got murdered what are the odds that have you met with no s there's very few in the world how many people
Starting point is 01:06:11 did you ever think about just adding an s to make life easier for you for everyone who tries to say your name isn't even real my grandpa changed it from cohen my name's not even real and i don't even know his real name is andrew cohen yeah and he changed it to not sound jewish he changed it to get a job in texas not houston i don't know maybe 40 miles out okay a new suspect has just arrived yeah marvin collins my grandpa nay cohen was cohen he changed it to colin to kill mary okay now we're on to something. This is adding up. It is. So he changes to Colin. Why?
Starting point is 01:06:47 Because his friend didn't get a job who had a Jewy last name. Oh. So he changed it, got the job, apparently. So Colin is not,
Starting point is 01:06:54 there are no Collins out there? There's a very few. One guy hit me up just because we had the same name one time. Is there Colin Andrews? Have you ever met someone named Colin Andrews?
Starting point is 01:07:01 Oh, that has a nice ring to it, though. That's cool. Would you ever name your son Colin, Colin Colin? I think that's cool. That has a nice ring to it, though. That's cool. Would you ever name your son Colin? Colin Colin? I think that's cool. That's pretty nice. That would be awesome.
Starting point is 01:07:10 You gotta have a son. Or Colin Colin would be cool, too. Colin Colin is awesome. Two hard Cs. No, you want to name your son Henry. I do, but wait, can we? So my grandpa got the job, never took the job in Texas, but he kept the name. Weird.
Starting point is 01:07:27 He just didn't want to sound too Jewy, apparently. Yeah, Cohen is such a cool name, I think. Well, there's Andy Cohen. Yeah, Mark Cohen. He's a comedian. Oh. There's no other Nikki Glaser. How many Nikki Glazers are there in the world?
Starting point is 01:07:40 Probably not a lot. There are others, though. I've met them. I met one who was a Nicole Glazer. She looked like you? No, no, not at all.
Starting point is 01:07:47 And we had different middle names, but there are Nikki Glazers a lot. And I, there's definitely a lot of Andrew Cohen's that probably look a lot like me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Andrew Cohen,
Starting point is 01:07:57 I might've done better. Well, I think I've met an Andrew Cohen and gone. I, that's my name. Well, Andy Cohen. Oh my God. Yeah. Wait, that's your name? Well, Andy Cohen. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:08:05 Yeah. Wait, that's your name? That's my name. That's Wyatt. I know, it's weird. Wait, why have you never said that to me before? Because I didn't want you to freak out. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:08:15 Watch what happens live. I know. Whoa. I know. Well, we've been in an elevator with Andy Cohen. Wouldn't you think it's interesting to be like, my real name's Andy Cohen? He wouldn't care. No, he actually wouldn't at all. He would go, wow, actually, I'm Andy Cohen. Because't you think it's interesting to be like, my real name's Andy Cohen? He wouldn't care. No, he actually wouldn't at all.
Starting point is 01:08:26 He would go, wow, actually I'm Andy Cohen. Because it's actually a common name. Yeah. Well, I would be Andrew Cohen. But here's the thing. But you went by Andy and... My dad told me
Starting point is 01:08:34 to take my middle name as my last, like Andrew Todd. Yeah. That's not... What are you just throwing in boys' first names for last names?
Starting point is 01:08:41 You can't do that. Well, I have two first names, which is kind of cool. Andrew Cohen. Well, no, I know. Yeah. Wait two first names, which is kind of cool. Andrew Collin. Well, no, I know. Yeah. Wait, who's that's kind of cool? It's me.
Starting point is 01:08:50 Oh, no one, really. George Michael. Yeah, someone said that if you have two first names. So what did Jay do? Jay, the sweet husband of 17 years who watched his wife go to work every morning. Yes, who clocked in. He starts getting calls. He gets three calls yes from a weird number that just asks for his wife that says is mary there
Starting point is 01:09:12 and mary's been dead very high profile death everyone knows about it and their number is not listed in the phone book and this is happening i don't know how many months afterwards but it's happening a while after the murders. And he calls the detectives after the first two calls. And he says, I'm getting a call asking for Mary. And I think he says Mary isn't there, but the detective says, hey, give them this number to call next time and say you can reach her here and then it'll be my line and then we can record it.
Starting point is 01:09:42 But I'm like, why didn't you just tap his phone at that moment so we could hear the voice? Like they're going to call again. And they did call again. So he gives the number. And in the middle of giving the number, the guy goes, oh, got it. And then just hangs up. So who knows what that is.
Starting point is 01:09:54 But that creeps me the fuck out. Any kind of call afterwards just really. Like a star six, seven situation. Yeah. Oh, well, one time. My sister. Why is the phone call? why is that the thing that got us because that made me chill a little bit isn't that so creepy that after the fact after she said someone's just asking to talk to some man and they would call at weird times like 9 a.m and then 10 p.m and then 12 a.m here's the thing though if it's a high
Starting point is 01:10:19 oh my god i just got a chill i felt like a ghost just walked no i think the air vent just went on yeah thank god i felt that too and I was like, what the fuck? Oh Jesus, Mary. Here's the thing. Mary Morris. If there's a ghost in here, they speak Spanish and they don't know what we're talking about anyways. That's a good point.
Starting point is 01:10:33 Okay. Isn't it so funny a ghost speaking different languages and be like, dude, I don't know that. Also, so at one point they find a, that someone has made calls from a, uh, a phone card that was in Mary's purse. The first Mary whose car was burned up that was in her purse, a phone card. I guess people used to call, use phone cards that had minutes on it. And someone had used like 2000 minutes or something. $2,000 in minutes.
Starting point is 01:11:06 And it was someone in a town in Texas hours away. Damn drip. Hard one. So they find, they trace the calls to a pay phone. Is it the guy that killed them? Oh wait, they did trace those weird
Starting point is 01:11:23 calls to a pay phone. Is it Paul? No, it's not Paul. They did trace those weird calls to a pay phone. Is it Paul? No, it's not Paul. They did trace those one calls that I just talked about, the creepy ones, and they were at an apartment complex, and they could not find who did it. So they still to this day don't know. Well, they found that this girl in Texas, this young girl, was using this phone card that she found in a purse
Starting point is 01:11:42 that she found outside a convenience store. And this is many, many miles and moons, at least 40 to 50 miles away yeah from the crime scene later in a purse now they go where's the purse and she goes i gave it to my neighbor apparently this purse was ugly she didn't want anything to do with it she just took the phone card i'm just weirded out about by a person that has nothing except a phone card in it that is just disposed of. So then they find the purse. The purse, they go to the neighbor who she gave it to. The neighbor gives the purse and is like, here you go.
Starting point is 01:12:15 They bring it back to Katie or to, no, to Jay. Yes. And his daughter. And they go, that's not mom's purse. She's never worn that. So this weird phone card that was hers, that was traced to her, ended up in a different purse. Or they just don't pay attention to what their moms wear. Could you pick out your mom's purse from childhood?
Starting point is 01:12:29 No. I could. For sure. I loved my mom's purses. They smelled like lipstick and cigarettes and bubble gum and lottery receipts. No, I couldn't. Oh, I love the smell. There was Marlboro light cigarettes, cigarettes hundreds with red lipstick on them yeah no there wouldn't be red lipstick on them that'd be after
Starting point is 01:12:50 the fact but oh yeah they would she wouldn't yeah she doesn't like mark them all up before she smokes up how you know who i hate the most who do you hate the most the daughter no wait not even part of the story okay maybe you could think of it. We're talking about cigarettes. I like doing this with you because I think where our brains are very... Sometimes they are synced up in such a weird way. Think about cigarettes and the person you hate the most
Starting point is 01:13:15 when it comes to cigarettes. I mean, I don't know who you would openly talk about hating. No, it's not... Who smokes cigarettes. It's many individual. It's not an individual a it's it's many individual it's not an individual oh it's this kind of person that does this that throws out their butts out the car window no and doesn't dispose of them in the trash like a good person i hate the one with the lucky cigarette who fucking flips it over when they open the pack what do you mean they take one cigarette
Starting point is 01:13:42 and they put it upside down i I don't know that person. Man, we're off, dude. Oh, I don't want to know. Oh, so they save one for the last? It's like the lucky one. Man, I used to fucking, when I smoked Parliaments, I liked the recess filter because I felt like it wasn't directly on my tooth, like yellowing my tooth. Oh.
Starting point is 01:13:59 I loved those. I wanted to say, though, that the phone call is so creepy. One time my sister, my cousin JD, and me were all left alone during the day. I think my mom was out of town. My dad had to go to work. During the day, my cousin JD was like 13. I was probably 11. We were fine to be at home.
Starting point is 01:14:16 It's a good neighborhood, whatever. My dad would be home. It'd still be light outside. We were playing Nintendo and then we got a call. My sister does the classic when she picks up the phone final thought when my sister picks up the phone she does the thing that my parents have trained her to do and say if someone asks for us when we're not there just say we're in the shower right so we're home but we're like oh my god i'm like getting chills from this so
Starting point is 01:14:39 oh we were fucking freaked out it was during the day so she goes he's in the shower and the guy goes yeah oh is he all naked and soapy and my sister hangs up the phone and she goes nope before she hung up she goes i mean i guess because because i mean how did you fuck that line up i don't know i freaking forgot i'm so bad with telling stories like it really is criminal how bad that was criminal but it was very funny that you added it after that i added i forgot the funniest by the way this seems to be in your stand-up it's one of the funniest stories i guess so i guess so it's so because it is true i think she analyzed it and was like yeah and then the guy just hung up and she she comes downstairs we're playing like
Starting point is 01:15:22 donkey kong or like fucking Sonic. What's the Crash Bandicoot on PlayStation? I think it was around by this point. She comes running downstairs and she's like, you guys, someone just called and said his dad naked and soapy. And we just, you know, when it gets into that, like it just an echo chamber of crazy, of like conspiracies. You're envisioning this guy. We're Facebook 2019. In our own little world of like, now the house is surrounded by creeps
Starting point is 01:15:51 that are coming to murder us. We lock ourselves in my parents' bathroom. My cousin JD starts screaming, I have a gun, motherfucker! Like to no one. We start getting razor blades out of my dad's shaving kit to wield against someone who's not. This is during the day, 3 o'clock in the summer in the St. Louis suburb summer.
Starting point is 01:16:12 Like nothing is going to get us. Then we get so scared we call the cops. And so they arrive and the cops are just like, okay. And then my dad is called at work and he comes home and he's like, what are you doing? How old are you guys? cousin jd was probably 13 i was probably 11 and my sister's probably so were the cops saying anything that you were left alone i mean i think they were a little bit like yeah and my dad was like oh gee you know it was not like the best thing to do but this was the 90s so it wasn't like now so you knew that the story added up. He was like, I've been home this whole time. I'm so ball over me.
Starting point is 01:16:47 I just remember my dad just being so disappointed at us and kind of looking at me like, Nikki, you're smarter than this. And I just kind of caught, got caught up. I would get caught up in a heartbeat. But I just remember my,
Starting point is 01:16:57 I just think he, my cousin was so cool. Cause he was like, motherfucker, we have knives and guns. And I was just like, Oh, I could fuck you right now.
Starting point is 01:17:04 I mean, I didn't say that to my cousin, but I just remember being whatever horniness is for your cousin. motherfucker we have knives and guns yeah and i was just like oh i could fuck you right now i mean i didn't say that to my cousin but i just remember being whatever horniness is for your cousin that's gonna protect you and like finally step up my cousin who was kind of a pussy all the time and like just a little bit nervous about doing any sport and like swam with his shirt on finally he was like making up that we had guns can you imagine if you go we got guns motherfucker and then he is here from outside the door go are they soapy guns oh my god oh my god i mean i thought about that voice for so long and it was probably some telemarketer that was just like i don't and my sister probably made it up dude who shack so here this is
Starting point is 01:17:39 amdrip so uh so wait one time my sister called me in college crying my sister's very beautiful person when she called me drunk crying and i and i told this story earlier today in the car she called me crying in college and i this is this is a girl that like did not have any problems with her looks she was very popular she never tried but she just got attention always told she was a model beautiful beautiful girl she called me crying one night we were not close in college but this made us very close because she called me crying she said Nikki I was walking down Tennessee which is a street she was like and this car drove by me and my friends and he goes hey Shaq because I'm tall I was just like Lauren fuck you and I laughed so hard and she was really upset but that for some reason that just like, Lauren, fuck you. And I laughed so hard and she was really upset. But that for some reason that just like really made me love her so much because I saw a vulnerability of like, oh, even beautiful people can feel really insecure sometime.
Starting point is 01:18:33 And like my sister who I project so much perfection on to felt really sad in that moment. It was weird. She was in blackface, you know, but it was Halloween and it was it was a different time. It was a different time. It was post. I'm kidding. It was pre post. Yeah, she wasn't in blackface but um i have a question wait shit oh people don't know people don't know what happened who did this by the way no one was
Starting point is 01:18:54 ever arrested for this these murders they're still on the loose and we may never know if it happened if it happened like a year ago connected they're not connected people would have found out mary and mary people would have found out so i mean there's so much shit now with dna and everything that like these people would have been caught if it happened now i think yeah i think so here's the thing but they first of all the girls on the podcast did you remember the part where it's like and the car was burned that's actually a really good way to cover your tracks it's like who doesn't think of... Are murderers not burning things? Because I thought that was the number one way
Starting point is 01:19:30 to get rid of evidence is to just... But it's hard to burn a body. Oh, is it? Mm-hmm. Which is really weird, actually, to think that your body is like... If you had to murder someone, if I was gonna murder you,
Starting point is 01:19:40 if you didn't murder someone, how would you do it? Wait, oh, I gotta murder someone else would you do it wait oh i gotta murder someone else nikki glazer podcast i would uh i'd have them watch a lot of my stand-up the and then just they watch you murder and then they kill themselves uh because i kill so hard anyways wait the phone call yeah can we go back to that for a second yes no one if you're like a teenager now you don't know what a phone card the fear of hearing a house phone call after watching a movie like scream or like we're like sydney yeah what's your favorite scary movie rings at 2 a.m and you
Starting point is 01:20:19 have to like it either keeps ringing which is scary as fuck or you have to get up in the dark and go pick up the phone late at night fucking wild i sometimes do get scared though when i'm listening to something on my phone like that's a little bit scary or watching something and all of a sudden facetime or something pops up and i'll kind of jump like if like or a text will come through or just a phone can't be the same, though. No, there's nothing like a... I'm a jumpy bitch, though, man. I'm easy to scare.
Starting point is 01:20:49 No, but a phone is like, fuck you, fuck you. I'm mad I have to... I'm mad I had to listen to a murder podcast today for this episode. And now you have to sleep alone. And now I have to sleep alone in this weird section of this hotel.
Starting point is 01:21:00 Yeah, I'll be fine. Yeah, you'll be great. But I'm melatonin-ing tonight because... No, but then you'll be fine. Yeah, you'll be great. But I'm melatonin in tonight because... No, but then you'll die easier. No, I'll be asleep for it. Just like you were. I'll sleep through mine like you slept through Mary McGinnis'. Now that I think about it, I think you're getting close to that.
Starting point is 01:21:20 Thank you. Well, now that we're doing murder podcasts and you think that murder is one of murder murder yeah podcast yeah yeah makes sense you know who is the one in number one people wanting to be murdered the guy from america's most wanted you know that's not true it was wait did you just make that up huh i will tell you what i'm doing though i don't understand do you i made out with his daughter whoa cool dude um or not i don't i. Do you lock? I made out with his daughter. Whoa. Cool, dude. Adam Wong. Or not Adam Wong.
Starting point is 01:21:45 I wonder if girls do this. I will lock my bedroom door if I'm staying in a place. Or even in my own apartment. If you ever once tried to open my bedroom door when I had said, goodnight, Andrew, you wouldn't be able to get. I lock my door because I think that if just having an extra barrier up is good. Anyone who sleeps with their bedroom door open, you are fucking asking to get murdered.
Starting point is 01:22:10 I don't know. I think it's like when you take a condom out, you take a condom out and like put pot sauces. No. When you go to, when you go out like to a club and you bring a condom, you're not going to get laid. You don't bring a condom.
Starting point is 01:22:23 You'll get laid. It's kind of like if you lock the door, if you lock the door, you're not going to get laid. You don't bring a condom, you'll get laid. It's kind of like if you lock the door, if you lock the door, you're getting killed. If you keep the door open, you'll be fine. But no, you'd make so much noise
Starting point is 01:22:32 I would at least scream and be able to alert some people. What about you lock the... They would just be having sex. What if you already locked the killer inside your room? Oh, well then it's just an easy door open.
Starting point is 01:22:41 It's just the difference between opening the door. No, I'm saying the killer's in your closet in your room. You just locked them... You locked yourself inside with the killer. But it's just an easy door open. It's just the difference between opening the door. No, I'm saying the killer's in your closet, in your room. You just locked yourself inside with the killer. But it's not like I lock it and I have to go like, well, I have to do a bunch of bolts and stuff. I just open the door and it locks. It's like the same as if I just opened it.
Starting point is 01:22:56 Yeah, but he's inside there now. Well, fuck, Andrew. I know you're bad. What if there was a guy right here right now listening to this whole thing being like, it's so ironic I was going to murder her later and she's doing a murder podcast. It'll be the last thing that people hear. Like he's guy right here right now listening to this whole thing being like it's so ironic i was gonna murder her later and she's doing a murder podcast it'll be the last thing that people hear like he's in the cabinet right now kind of like folded up like god when are they gonna finish this thing and then he he's just i would just love a murder to go it's so ironic
Starting point is 01:23:16 if there was a loud noise right now i would shit i'd fucking pissing shit right now. I know. I'm so happy there isn't. Thank you, God. Oh, my God. Please, no. Wait. Spirits. If there are any spirits in this room, make it known right now.
Starting point is 01:23:35 Here, wait. I got this. Eora est spirito no bueno. Spirits have rhyming dictionaries. Just give them a second. Translation? All right. Man, this was actually really fun
Starting point is 01:23:51 and I think people are really going to like this. I hope. We'll see. They're going to like it or they're going to hate it, but I think some people are really going to like
Starting point is 01:23:57 what we just did. At least we tried something new. You got to take risks. If you didn't like it, that's fine, but a lot of people, listen, this was the best murder to cover,
Starting point is 01:24:08 but I do think that we should do deep dives on just things that are interesting that i find on reddit that i go into a really that i just want to like tell you all about because even the casey anthony story is insane and people i know so many facts about it that people don't know that are so fucking interesting and i love it like on uh you heard it here first I have to tell you like what's going on no dive and now or wait no people know that you don't dive you don't do any deep dive you don't even do shallow dive on ours when I bring up stories
Starting point is 01:24:36 wait for when you heard it when you hear it here first oh yeah oh yeah those are shallow you want to do yeah and now I want a deep dive yeah oh yeah I don't know what that'd be so funny if you want a deep dive into a. So now you want to do, yeah. And now I want to deep dive. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know. That'd be so funny if you were like. You want to deep dive into a shallow grave. Yeah. I want to dive into, I mean.
Starting point is 01:24:49 All right. This is getting long. Yeah. We got to go. Okay. Hey, don't be cool out there. And Jay. Jay.
Starting point is 01:24:55 The Ripper. Jay. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews
Starting point is 01:25:21 and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult.
Starting point is 01:25:44 He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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