The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #176 More Close Up

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

Although it's Valentine's Day and she's got her heart shaped glasses on Nikki is feeling "a little self-loathing today". She's made leaps and bounds on how she handles these feelings and breaking up with a new tiny bad habit. Andrew understands, since he feels bad after using the Super Bowl to abuse his body. Nikki met a whale shark guy over the weekend and now loves the sound of a blowhole. You Heard It Here First, say no to fish in your picture, big heads and the Super Bowl halftime show review. In Top 1 Bottom 1 they discuss romantic gestures. Nikki feels good about receiving a relative's ashes before reviewing the We Need to Talk About Cosby doc in the Final Thought. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You are cordially invited to... The hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn,

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I'm wearing heart-shaped glasses. And it's not because it's Valentine's Day. It's because my eyes are super swollen from, I don't know. I'm a swollen bitch this weekend, and I'm trying to stay. None of my clothes fit. I saw some pictures yesterday of myself that I really, really hate. Like, that if, like, that are truly something's different with my body, I've definitely changed. And I just want to say, if you relate to that, it's okay. My body needs to be this way right now. I need to be not fitting in all my clothes. There is a reason for it and it's none of my business what my body is doing right now and I'm perfect the way I am it's the way that I was meant to be and that's what's getting me through today because it is

very hard when your clothes feel tight it is so uncomfortable and when you already feel like you look down at yourself and you don't really recognize something happened to my body in the past couple days and I don't recognize my lower half it's just changing I don't know if it's like this is the time as a woman where you just go from like I I'm on a tangent here I want to show you Andrew so I've been watching last night I've been watching the Playboy documentary Secrets of Playboy and I've also you gotta watch we need to talk about Cosby. I believe it's on Hulu. I watched it on Showtime. It's so good. I'll talk about it in depth in the way that we should later.

But I just want to say that there's so many. You see women that were like the hottest women of their time in the 70s, 60s. Like all these women that you see pictures and they couldn't be tinier and more like the object of what my sick brain says is perfection. Perfect, yeah. And then you cut to them as, you know, 50, 60-year-old women when they're coming out with these stories. And this is the sickest thing to even be paying attention to this. There are so many of them that I'm like, first of all, all these women are so strong that I'm like, you don't even pay attention to that. But I just noticed, like, there's no stopping what will happen to my body when you get older

your metabolism slows and your body just gets softer because you are more prone to falling and your bones need to be protected you're it's not good to be thin when you're a tiny when you're uh you know more prone to falling and like your body needs to protect itself from breaking a hip otherwise you need fat on you that's more prone to falling and like your body needs to protect itself from breaking a hip. Otherwise, you need fat on you. That's why women get bigger and you slow down and all that stuff. Or like your metabolism slows down. I don't know if it's happening to me.

Like this is a weekend. It decided to like your, it's your time or something like that. But whatever it is, I woke up. I was really in a bad mood this morning. I was taking it out on whoever I was around, just kind of being grumpy. It was giving me a headache. It was just, and it was all because of how my clothes fit and how I looked in these pictures last night

that just truly changed my mood in such a way that it's just, before I saw those pictures, by the way, the pictures that were taken when I was happy and then hours after I was happy with that same body that was in the pictures and then I see the pictures and then I'm unhappy. Whereas I'm happy and I'm unhappy because that's what I look like right now. But really, I was happy that whole time when I wasn't thinking about that.

And I went to the pool area today and I see all these women with bodies that I was like, God, I used to look like that or I'll never look like that. I'm just going to all these places in my head, which might be true. Like I could be hit by a car tomorrow and be in a wheelchair and I'll never look like that girl again. There's no chance that I ever will or maybe right now. Sometimes legs get smaller when you get paralyzed. That's true. You know, fingers crossed. Yeah. But I just have to say that I am truly okay with it and I am, I don't, I don't care and bring it on. Like no matter what my body wants to do, bring it on and it's meant to be, and I'm not going

to diet. I'm not going to exercise. I'm not going to do fucking anything to mess with, to try to control it. Because when I do that, things get wonky. What I did realize is that this is kind of correlated I'm trying to pay attention to things in my life that are like I'm not feeling healthy is essentially what's going on here I'm feeling itchy in my own skin I just don't feel healthy I don't look like myself when I feel my healthiest

and I think I gotta stop doing diet coke which is just that's the only thing that's changed in my diet i'm just like living on diet coke and it's not supplementing for food i'm not i'm just gonna go nikki you've noticed something you had your fun with diet coke you had a little relapse it's time to go so that's all i'm going to do i have to say i and that's a different me than has been in the past of like when i have these in the past when I had these moments and this has been my whole life of waking up one day and being like wow I've gained so much weight it's all in my head you know but like I just feel so different and it feels out of control it feels like this is the beginning of whatever my body will never be what I want it to be no one

will ever be attracted to me again all these things I better hold on to whatever I have now because he seems to like me and no one else you know like and and and not feeling sexy around him whatever it is i know now i used to just go okay i used to drop a diet plan and start counting my calories and start starving myself on this day i used to go to the gym and go i'm gonna spend two hours there and i'm gonna spend so much time in the gym that i don't have to eat. And I'm not going to do that this time. Like, cause I'm feeling this is the first time in my eating disorder recovery that I've really felt like so uncomfortable in my skin. And I felt like, wow, this whole no exercise eating what I want is like actually starting to backfire, but it's not. I just, whatever caused me to gain a little

weight is what I needed to get through the past couple of weeks. I didn't do anything wrong and I'm not going to fucking diet or exercise at all unless I want to get exercise for my mental health and I want to just sweat and have some fun or because I'm just not hungry. That's the only two reasons I'm not going to eat. And I just want to say that because I just know this feeling that I'm feeling this morning. I just am so familiar with it. And I haven't felt it for years because it's just hasn't come up and I haven't been wearing jeans for years, but these jeans shorts I put on today are just like ugly. Um, and I know it's common for fucking everyone listening.

Literally everyone listening feels this way way you don't have to do a 180 with how you've been doing things you can just do a small thing like this diet coke thing i know it's not healthy it doesn't make me feel that much better i'm doing way too many of them maybe that's the thing to cut out of instead of punishing myself with exercise and making myself uncomfortable for starving not having a diet coke isn't going to make me sad whereas if i starve myself that's sad um so that's all i just wanted to say i wanted to get that out there might someone out there might need it i know i need to just be accountable for that and say it out loud no i completely but happy valentine's day what you're saying i funny when i get in an elevator with a

mirror every who's a mirror huh a mirror he's a really fit guy a mirror cat that's on um that's one of our PAs on perfect strangers yeah he's a great guy yeah but he's just that's such a good body and it makes you feel insecure it does I go god if I could just be a mirror when you get into an elevator with a reflection yeah I constantly like even if it was five minutes before I got in the elevator and i already saw my reflection i'll go oh i look different or something's different or i'll look better or i'll look worse like i do that same shit too so i definitely relate to like and just one constantly questioning what my body looks like today did i have too much sodium last like last night

you know super bowl you're gonna eat shitty. It's in your brain. It's in your DNA. It's the American tradition. You've got to destroy yourself. It's like the holidays. You don't have to. I thought you were going to say Holocaust. I really did.

Well, your fucking asshole thinks it is today. Oh, God. It really does. You're putting down dips, layers of things. I got a Monte Cristo sandwich, which is- Oh, my God. I think whoever Monte Cristo was, he died young of a heart attack. Because that guy, there's no way that was his sandwich.

What is a Monte Cristo? It's like, I'm picturing cheese, salami. Like ham, turkey, cheese on a brioche bread with chipotle mayo. We want to see how many animals we can... Layer up. Yeah, that we can kill in one sandwich yeah yeah it's weird they don't even kill the animal you have to eat the whole thing um um yeah so so i ate that and then i got pizza too i was like it's super but like you just yes you convince yourself that it's but you know what

it's okay it is a holiday yeah it's all and everything on tv is telling you to drink and eat and it's and it's fine and it's first of all it's one day it's not the holiday season which so many people just justify that kind of behavior for you know weeks kind of but i just everyone dieting is just it doesn't fucking work and you know making healthier choices works but did not pretty much dieting equals denying yourself and uh exercising to burn calories or like burn fat when it's painful like when you are just taught when your body's tired i understand pushing through for like mental fortitude but if you're looking at the calories on a treadmill you're not you're or looking up how many calories you burn you're you're trying to fucking micro you're trying to punish yourself because none of that is something you would do

to your child you know what i do i started lifting again and i just found a great point of like where i don't destroy myself yeah but i see results that i'm happy about just in like whatever one my mental is so much better i mean lifting they say, they say, I mean, and by they, I mean, Sam Harris says is like doing, you know, a weights regimen for your whole life is the best thing you can do for your, your mental and physical health.

Yeah. And I just need to keep it like where it's manageable, where you don't get sad when either you miss it and you feel like, Oh no, I'm missing out or just do it when you, when you feel like you want to either you miss it and you feel like oh no i'm i'm missing out or just do it when you when you feel like you want to and not make it about this we are so based we're so obsessed with streaks i i missed wordle one day and my streak of playing wordle every day and not yeah it's broken and i've had this little pang of like you fucked up glaze

now that feeling of you fucked up any type of feeling where you're disappointed in yourself is going to lead to abusive behavior towards yourself that can, you know, um, snowball into, uh, really hurting yourself rather with, you know,

physical fitness, like injuring yourself. Like I, any type of self, uh, not being nice to yourself is going to incrementally add up and um i think you're so right like the the missing one day saying like i go to the gym every day and then you miss one day and it's like then then it's done yeah then you stop where i ate shitty last

night i was like fuck dude i was doing so fucking you get that thought like i was doing so fucking good man i was fucking eating fucking egg whites i i had a poke bowl for lunch and then i'm like fuck i had the same i know i know everyone feels that way i know and that's such a common thing of just like okay throw in the towel like i feel so flabby and gross today like for me i feel like out of shape i feel like just i feel lumberinging. I feel slow. The last thing I want to do is work out. But if later today I feel like I want to just like get my blood pumping, not to burn, like I'll do it. But if I don't, and if I don't change anything I do besides not, you know what I do change?

I'm not saying that if you feel like upset about the way your body looks or feels truly do nothing because that wasn't my solution. My solution was talk about it like this. First of all, this is part of my solution is being very honest about what's happening and how I'm feeling because you need to put it into words, whether, whether, whether it is in a journal or just talking to yourself or leaving a voice

note for a friend, fucking leave me a voice message on my, on my Ig. I will maybe not even listen to yourself, or leaving a voice note for a friend, fucking leave me a voice message on my IG. I will maybe not even listen to it, but the fact that you say it out loud, it will help you get honest, and then see what you can change. First of all, that's already a change. If you decide to journal or say your feelings out loud,

that is a huge change that can lead to you feeling better in your body tomorrow, whether it is it actually physically manifests, which it probably will. But the change does not have to be taking on reading a new diet book, going to a spin class, unless that makes you feel good and you're not doing it, but for any other reason than to feel good. Now, this is like stuff that I've worked on extensively in eating disorder recovery. So, and if obviously I always put this out there, if anyone wants to know what I did to get recovered,

you can always DM me and just write, you know, eating disorder help on all caps and I'll hopefully see it. But I just want to say that it's a long road to feeling this way, but I'm so grateful today that I had a little self-loathing today, which is okay. Even that, I'm like, you need to feel sorry for yourself because your jeans are tight.

You need to be a little sad and go, I'm fat, and I'm not going to look good on Perfect Strangers 2. I'm going to look different than Perfect Strangers 1, and people are going to call me things online. It's been so many years. Cosby was framing last time we had a show and it just put i just want to say that like this is just such a win for me to say today that i'm not going to diet or abuse myself with exercise that is a fucking win for my body for my mind more so than any diet could give me is that i'm not going to hurt myself you think

next time you see a photo you how long did it take you to because it sounded like initially you were it fucked with it fucked yeah well there were multiple photos from different angles so it was a confirmed from every angle oh god and I was I remember feeling very uh my best self in the picture I was wearing a swimsuit and i was um just like sucking it i remembered feeling knowing that that photo was gonna matter to me later how i looked so trying my best and it really was i want to say 200 different than i thought it would be so i'm not seeing myself correctly um but what i know to be true is that i have been that size. I have been that before. Yes. And I was loved, happy, successful, all the things. So if I stay that size or even get bigger, I'm going to be

fine. But the truth is I fluctuate and I need to be that size right now. I was in a boat. Maybe I needed extra weight in the boat because it would have fucking flipped over if not. Like who knows what I needed that for yesterday, but I fucking needed it. I mean, you swam with whales. Maybe they thought you were a family. I wanted to be one of them. Yeah. I wanted to.

So it's just happy Valentine's Day. You're more whale than shark yesterday. That is my gift to myself and you is that I really want for everyone to stop dieting and I just don't want anyone to be, people shouldn't be hungry. You know what's interesting about like bodies and stuff and what we look at our bodies? We always, obviously the problem areas, you know, where you make the fucking Sharpie marks.

Like, oh, you could work here, work here. And like, I'm going to say it. I have great calves, right? When I think about my body, I should go, I should start with calves and probably end with calves. Like, I should focus on like what's think about my body i should go i should start with calves and probably end with like i should focus on like what's great about my body not what yes we go we i mean it's the same thing with our lives yeah it's like noah i want you you've been quiet this time just taking all this and you're someone who i really i feel like we've talked a little bit about body image in the past you and i and like and you're someone who's like even the other day when we were talking about the best compliment we can get you're like you

know I know what I am I'm not like a fucking supermodel but I accept myself when do you have days as we all do where you feel like oh I'm not what I want to be and what do you what do you do um when when you're feeling like bad in your own skin bad body image day okay i literally had this last night because i was trying to put on something that i hadn't put on in like two years and it just it didn't even go up like halfway through my thigh like like up my thigh yes and uh and so like as a result I had to miss something because of it. And I don't know. I just feel really bad in the moment.

And I do have a lot of negative self-talk. And I can't help it. But then, like, I've never been one to be obsessed with what my body looks like. So I think it's a little bit easier for me to let go of it and just accept okay well i know what i have to do in order to fit in those pants again um and i'll do it and what you have to do is it a drastic measure that's gonna like make your life less enjoyable uh is it gonna make my life no i just have to be like or like yeah so i just have to be more disciplined i think that when i look back when i was training jujitsu like every day

and i was um like a very strict of a vegetarian diet and i was watching everything that i ate and i didn't really pay attention to how obsessive I was, when I look back at those photos, I don't like the way that I look because I just remember how obsessed with everything I was instead of just being present and enjoying the moment. So now I just want to enjoy the things that I like, not really care about what I eat. I eat healthy anyway.

Just, you know. Yeah. And just be more aware of what you're putting in your body. Do you ever think about just burning those pants? I did that. I got rid of seven different... Well, you burnt down your frat house, so you lost a lot of clothes in that. Yeah, I mean, it was a win-win.

Was that because of just a bad... Yeah, I couldn't fit into these 32s that I fit in high school. So you burnt down the whole place. Yeah, so I killed like nine people. But whatever. R.I.P. Levi's. Yeah, so I killed like nine people. But whatever. R.I.P. Levi's. Yeah, those people were all thin and triggered you anyway. Of the comedian anyway.

Or the comedian. The frat brother. But yeah, no. Because I got rid of like honestly eight pairs of pants. Because they were skinny. And I think when I washed them, they got even skinnier. And it was like, how did I even fucking. And I laughed about it. But, they got even skinnier. And it was like, how did I even fucking, and I laughed about it,

but it was also like a mind fuck. Sometimes pants that you don't wear in a while and you put them in the dryer. Getting clothes that fit changed the game for sure. And I hold on to them because sometimes I get too thin, not on purpose, but in the same way that I accidentally get a little a more bigger for my for what I feel comfortable in and so I just know that I might end up in those because honestly someone in my life might die and I might like lose my app like honestly I might need something to wear if something triggers me to lose a bunch of weight for a reason that I don't know and it's not around

to be like those are are my goal genes, because you're right now, like looking back on when I've been running five miles a day, watching everything I eat, having a very, the word strict comes to mind, being strict with myself, being, putting a lot of rules on myself. Everyone knows when you have a lot of rules imposed on you by other people, someday you're going to break them and you're going to break them big. And you, it's, and you resent whoever is imposing these rules on you.

So being strict with yourself is not the solution. It's about being good to yourself and making choices that honestly you would make for a, if you're going to start eating differently, literally think about how you would treat your daughter and like what you would feed for a if you're gonna start eating differently literally think about how you would treat your daughter and like what you would feed your daughter and if would you make your daughter if she if she needed to lose some weight would you make her like go being hungry is the worst feeling in the world don't ever do that to yourself and it is not the solution because

on the other side of hunger is eating too much money cristo is. Is a Monte Cristo waiting for you? Break. We got to go to the break, but we'll come back with, let's talk about, fuck, we didn't even get to whales, but we have so much week to get through. And I'm glad we talked about all this. I think it's going to help some people. It certainly helped me. Andrew! I'm coming now. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight

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in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe,

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I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour.

He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Here it comes. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, boy. I hope you had a great weekend. We had a great weekend, folks. Apparently, we all had fun.

Apparently. Some people were mad we haven't been saying apparently enough, Nikki. Oh, shit. So I want to say apparently. Apparently. Apparently. Oh, I had so much fun. I will say that I tried to go swimming with whale sharks.

My friend Ben Glebe. All the swells. He found out. Oh, yeah. All the swells, you guys. Monday. Ben Glebe found out i was in cabo and he goes hey he knows everyone he ran for fucking president at a time he just has a guy everywhere he goes i got a guy lorenzo he'll take you out he'll do whatever you want to do he'll give you a better rate and it'll be a private little excursion whale shark guy yeah he had a whale shark he had a fucking whale shark guy same as this cocaine guy oddly enough um and lorenzo took us out i have so

much to say about lorenzo but let me just say i know that you only go swim with whale sharks in la paz which is about two hours away and i didn't even put two and two together that i was like i want to go whale whale sharking and he was like sure i got you i got you and the next day he's like meet me in uh downtown cabo and we'll go out. And so on the way there, I'm like, wait, the whale sharks aren't here. Like we'd have to go. So I hadn't seen any whale sharks today and I just started laughing and I'm like, oh no. And so yeah, no whale sharks were seen. I'm going out next weekend.

Wait, what did you see? So many fucking whales. Humpbacks. But you didn't swim with them. Seals. Fish. Did you swim? swim with them. Seals. Fish. Did you swim? Storks or pelicans.

Yeah, I snorkeled with fish. I did not swim with the whales, but man, I saw in Hawaii, you all know that I saw tons of whales. This was like the next phase. It was so much closer up, so much more activity. I saw my first breach,

which is when a whale shoots up and then falls, but it was a little baby calf and it didn't know what it was doing it just kind of was like like it was just like its first breach it was like just born it was very tiny little humpback calf so cute so many sounds of you hear very you know you see it from far off these big spouts come up like a fire hydrant's going off in the middle of the ocean you go towards the spout and they come up and then you go over to them i did not know how easy it was to see fucking whales in this world take a trip take a flight to cabo and then go look at the ocean at a certain time though yeah i mean but it's between like fucking november and may you're gonna like and i gotta say the coolest part was when we got close enough all of a sudden you go to where these whales are and then you'd wait because they go down for like 15 minutes and you wait and just hope they're going to come up in the same spot again.

And sometimes you're just talking and blah, blah, blah. And all of a sudden, five feet away, we hear like the sound of the blowhole coming out that close. I thought it was you busting out of your jean shorts. No, it was me. It was me doing an ass ass i was holding my ass to do a silent fart we just talked about that the other day um behind the scenes but um then i was so this sound is such a great sound to hear them come up and do that blowhole yeah and i heard so

much of it yesterday that yesterday when i was walking to my hotel i heard someone dumping trash and it's i i turned my head like there was a whale next to me. I was so excited. But it's my favorite sound is a blowhole coming up in the water next to me. And I just, man, in another world, I was a marine biologist. And that's, yeah, I always had the joke that I wanted to be a marine. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a marine biologist because I thought it was just petting whales. I didn't know you had to measure them.

Yeah, take blood samples yeah and like tag them and like learn about like knots and and their course of oh my god we had the best marine biologist teacher ever in high school yeah that was a miss mackle haney she was like i'm not kidding she was like 148 years old she She was older than marine animals. Yeah. She had seen the evolution of some of that. She might have evolved from an actual small whale. Whales were wolves.

Yeah. So she knew what was happening. And she would smoke cigarettes in between each. She'd go out and have a break. No filter. And one puff. Whole cigarette. Like a whale taking in water to breathe down below.

Whoa. Yeah. And then she'd blow it out her blowhole. She had a hole in the back of her neck. She had a hole in her throat. They get their own blowhole someday. Someday I hope to have my own blowhole. She would teach us and like fall asleep for a good two minutes and then come back and go, Oh, so class, the sponge of the seahorse.

The sponge of the seahorse. Let's get to the news. Yeah, so just in time for Valentine's Day, men posing with big fish on dating apps is a new trend. I feel like it's a new old trend, but still it is. It's almost like so cliche at this point that I don't even make those jokes because it's so like that joke's been made a million times

of guys on dating apps posing with fish. I mean, out of 100 young men on Tinder in Virginia, 18 to 25. Okay, so what part of Virginia? Are we looking at coastal? I'm thinking coastal. Yeah. 42% have a picture with a fish. I have a great joke that I haven't put in a special yet,

and I don't want to burn it here. Really? I haven't put that in a special yet. It was my best joke for a while and Mike actually helped me write it but yeah I have a joke about that in my set and I don't want to do it now but I will say that yeah

now it almost feels like hack to make fun of it. So 42% I mean I'll do a parts of it because I don't want to give away the big chunk but it's I used to make a joke of like oh what does that tell me about you that your friend had a boat one day like you went on you went on a bachelor party one weekend in the Ozarks or like it doesn't tell me you have a boat it tells me your friend has one and it tells me oh I used to compare it to measuring

thing I know but I can't sorry that's the big part okay we can take it out no no it's okay uh it truly you can leave it in uh uh uh ham drop for my next special that i'll probably not do that joke in either but the thing that i i men don't take a lot of pictures and that's why their profiles suck and this is kind of the whole thesis of my chunk about this and my act is that men's profiles suck because women take so many pictures of themselves. They're always like dolled up. They know how to pose and men just take one picture of year and it's always you holding a fish because that's the only time you're like, Oh,

I want to document this. It's like your guys's school picture after you graduate. It's once a year and you are just, it's straight on. It's by the only picture a man will take alone is with a fish is with a fish and i don't know what you're trying to tell me i'm like that you can provide for me i'm like oh he can go out and and you know he doesn't have to slaughter a chicken tonight he brought home dinner like it just to me i i i first of all if i see a

fish in a picture i don't want it because it's just I don't like my parents fish and I don't talk about it with them. I don't want to hear about the thing that I read about fishing is that everyone goes, oh, catch and release. You know, if you you take the hook out and just throw it back. I think there's there's a big percentage. You know, I'm not good at remembering stats that I've read. No, we talked about it on. Yeah. A big percentage of those fish die. From the fish.

Do you think... You know what I think it is too? It's great lighting. And a way for a man to get perfect sun lighting with the water behind. And they're tanned. And they're feeling confident because they've been drinking all day, so they're not that ashamed to take a picture.

So it's a way for them to look as sexy as possible, but it's like, I'm holding a fish. But it's like no you're you got good lighting you know what if any of you guys out i know we have a sorry i know a way oh i was gonna say in the article um they asked women like which fish they found the most attractive hilarious you want to see like uh what did they say yeah okay so andrew bigger right you want You can read. Oh, yeah. So it says, the survey also asked women to rate each fish. The biggest catch was the hogfish, a colorful critter. We love a guy with a big hog.

Oh, my God. No, that would make me so sad. I mean, what is going on with the mouth? That's a huge fish, and its mouth is coming out of its mouth. It almost looks like Predator with multiple mouths. Double mouth. Yeah, it looks like it's doing that Pringles thing where you go like,

what? It does. On the commercial where you put two Pringles in? It does. It's exactly like that, you guys. So this is the love child

of a snapper. It grows up to 24 pounds. I don't care. Honestly, no, I just don't care. Can I just say that any guys out there

who are looking for advice on your dating profile, go to the subreddit dating underscore advice and men will put up their profiles on there and have women help them make it as appealing as possible and give advice. And it's really a sweet community of women trying to help these guys who are just so sincere. And you can get a sense, not by putting your own up there, but by reading what these women have advised other guys what can help.

And generally you want a picture where you're with friends. Not too many selfies. You want smiling. Obviously animals is always a good thing. But around people and I would really say not more than one picture where you're drinking. It just is, it's too much of your lifestyle. And,

and also avoid negative things of like, don't swipe on me. If you bubble, like try no negative talk of like, um, Hey, if, if,

if you're a girl that likes drama, look the other way, like just try to stay positive. Even if you're not a positive guy, you can say, I tend to be pretty cynical and sarcastic, but you can say that in a positive way because it's just sometimes guys are already so, they do the same thing comedians do

and they get ahead of the rejection by rejecting themselves. And it's not a deal. And don't pose with a striped bass, by the way. Yeah, horizontal striped. Because it'll just make you look fat yeah we all know that next story

these are all by the way valentine's day related news yeah you want a horizontal bass I used to have a joke that I'm sure I've done

on this show that when I was anorexic I got so thin that you could see my ribs and then I had to gain weight because my ribs are horizontal stripes and it made me look so fat

so stupid okay uh it didn't help that you painted them black okay okay forget height black rib yeah i got canceled black rob that's a future oh my god wait are we gonna talk about the super bowl at all we can uh what's the next news story though? Forget height differentials or vast age differences. Small face, big face is the new thing. Is it a type of fish? Yeah. Hogfish, striped bass face.

Big face, small face. So head sizes differ wildly based on factors like race, gender, and nationality. Right. But they have been getting bigger over time. Big face, small face relationships come with their own specific challenges. Selfies are a big one. Perspective is an issue in photos with partners. I don't understand what you're saying.

He didn't finish reading the headline. So women are apparently really into dudes with wide faces. According to a 2014 study of speed dating participants, guys with wide faces are thought as of aggressive, aggressive powerful and more financially successful a woman in a long-term relationship with another woman with a big face that big faces are trustworthy friendly and expressive so people like a wide face maybe that is also it could be like a guy who's smiling his face is going to measure wider on their jaw

is going to be stronger you know if you're smiling your face gets wider look wider skinnier wider like by even a little millimeter i do want to say though that um it reminds me of one of the super bowl ads last night that i really loved the deon sanders one where he's with his kid did you see that one i didn't get to see him because oh yeah because you were mexico well i got a i got a the american feed and i streamed it on my tv and andrew chose to not come to my room to watch it yeah I was like you're missing the commercials dude but Dan Sanders commercials were even a thing and his son who I guess is also an athlete because I he does yeah I know everything about them you do yeah okay so they're both in this commercial for a fucking I don't know some Jackson State yeah

like a dip or something like Doritos or something and then at the end of it they're like can you handle it they were both like kind of competitive like being like who's the toughest who who would who of us is the toughest i'm more tough no i'm more tough and then at the end it goes to their dion sanders mom obviously and his grandmother the other kid's grandmother, and she goes, says something to the effect of like, no, I'm the toughest. And they go, you? And she's like, how do you think I gave birth to that head?

Or something like that. Hilarious. It was really, it was a comment on her squeezing out his big head through her tiny vagina. It was so funny. And I have to say that black older women killed it

on the Super Bowl commercials. There were a lot of older black women that came in at the end and had a great punchline last night in all the commercials. And Snoop Dogg also looked like one, too, last night. No, he looked awesome, actually. I was trying to search for someone in my mind during the show that looked like an older black woman, but no one did. Well, Dr. Dre did actually more.

And 50 Cent is getting a lot of hate. Oh, he looks like a fat bat. Yeah. They said 250 Cent. Oh, come on. I couldn't tell if he was muscular or F.A.T. And I really don't give a shit. I just.

No, he was somewhere in between. I don't know. He just hadn't performed in a while. That's all I could tell. Someone wrote a tweet. Like, how long was he hanging upside down yeah before i was worried about him getting down but he just came down like a bat i was like oh this is but that was in the music video right he's upside down yeah he's upside down getting covid i think um getting I'm getting COVID. A bat. I don't know. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Bat out of hell. Meatloaf. And no, I loved, I have a lot of thoughts about the Super Bowl halftime show

because I'm not someone who grew up in that generation. And like, obviously I love Eminem so much and all of like the classic songs that they played. I know, but I wasn't, it wasn't like a formative part of my growing, like my adolescence. Chronic was huge for, I don't know. I know, boys. Yeah. I think boys, like it wasn't like a formative part of my growing, like my adolescence. Chronic was huge for, I don't know.

I know, boys. I think boys. Like I was into like, you know, Dave Matthews band. And it just skipped me, but I understand the, I don't understand it, but I can understand how impactful and so much of what it meant to me. I was underwhelmed by this. The set design was cool. Obviously it looked like a white battleship

a house in the middle of the field and i think it did not behoove this entire performance to have it still be light outside during halftime i think it would have been much cooler in the dark but for me i was a little underwhelmed by i wanted more close-ups and i think that we lost a lot of like how cool these performances was were by doing the whole wide shot of this set piece that it could have gone to each room and gone done close-ups of the room whenever we saw close-ups of the room the living room with all the guys hanging out even with Eminem when everyone rushes the stage and goes lose yourself and you saw how cool would it have been to see that as a tight shot where it looks more impressive with all these people?

With a wide shot, you just saw there was just this little group of condensed people. Do you agree with me? I know. I see what you're saying. It's like looking at a whole Barbie. It felt like a Barbie house to me. And it's like, yeah.

Which was cool. It was a great idea. It's a great idea, but I think I agree a lot with that because I think all these guys are such characters too. And you want to get. I want to see them up close. Where it you know, all these guys are such characters too. And you want to get. I want to see them up close. And we're in the day and age where it's like the closer you are. Kendrick's.

The way Kendrick's was shot. Yes. Because I was talking to Chris about this because we had a disagreement about whether or not it was like the best they could do. Nikki, you don't understand. You're getting together these people who all have huge egos and know exactly what they want in terms of artistic style. To make anything of that amount of people that are expecting to get what they want artistically done to agree on one concept is hard. But my point was, I give that to you.

I just wanted more close-up shots. I thought Kendrick's was amazing, the way they did that cool thing at the beginning where they would zoom in and then it would come out. That were I like the weekends um last year where you were close up you follow them around and Chris said you know it's important to have a sense of the magnitude of how big this is and I said I get that but I know it is because we're at the fucking Super Bowl I know it's big I want close up and I want to see these people close up. I did think, um,

I thought Kendrick's was so cool. I was, you know, on the edge of my seat, Eminem. I wanted just to see him more close up and, um, 50 cent I thought hadn't performed in a while, but I was excited to see him. And then I thought, um, Mary J Blige was incredible after she danced so hard in the first part where it's a little bit less vocally straining to do the let's get it, crunk up, you know that. It's like easier to be winded and sing that. But then she saved the belting song for right after that when this bitch has got to be winded after dancing that hard. And she hit every note.

You could tell it was live. And I just thought it was incredible. And she looked so good. And she must be in her fucking 50s. People are going off about Eminem's eyebrows. Apparently, they think. Definitely got tinted. Tinted brows.

And a tinted beard. I'm not going to lie. I feel like he's added hair on his beard, too. No, he looked young and hot. Sorry. Eminem cares about the way he looks, as does fucking everyone. Get over it. He always has.

Always has a hoodie with a hat he looked so good and he sounded good they just he kneeled last night too they told him not to and it's like he's not being paid for this what are they gonna do take away his chance to perform

he's performing no one does a Superbowl twice he's like oh i won't do it okay i thought noah did you have any thoughts i didn't watch all of it but i liked um dr dre playing the piano and the musicians i like that there was actual musicians on there it was so cool i thought i just i want to watch it again but i thought um yeah i just wanted more i wanted to see it more close up but really wanted wanted 50 instead of hanging just to fly in like Lady Gaga. That would have been cool.

I don't remember Lady Gaga's fly-in. Someone said that. She came in from the roof. I don't remember it. It was like the Rocketeer. I wasn't even drinking during that time. I got to go back and watch all Super Bowl performances because they are, they're just such spectacles.

But it was so cool to see people that you just don't worry about. They've done it. All these songs they've sung and rapped so many times they're in california i never worry about massive talents but it's there's just something about watching someone who has been at it for 25 plus years some of those 30 40 years at this point and you just go this is nothing to them they're not nervous this is like any other thing and there's something really fun about that and they seem to be having fun.

I do think we should send Snoop Dogg to talk to Russia about not attacking Ukraine. I feel like there's a presence of Snoop Dogg that's so cool. And calming. And calm. He could be in any situation. Maybe because he went to jail for so long. How long was he in jail? I think a day

or two. It was a long day. was yeah it was daylight saving for in snoop dog years that's seven yeah that's seven days that was a pretty good joke that was great joke thanks but yeah so he you know i don't know there's something about him like you said like he just talks like this and it's high all the time do you think he was really fucking i wonder because you know how i was telling you about bill maher how he never smokes pot before a real time taping or tv taping but bill maher will smoke a ton of weed before performing stand-up in any way because stand-up is different to him i wonder what because i think there's people that really make being a pothead as their lifestyle work have a a little bit of rules about it.

You can't be a weed addict and be as successful and look as good as he is for that many years. I mean, I definitely think he's addicted, but I just think he's managing it in some way. I don't think Snoop is like, well, this is for this and this is for that. But I could be wrong. I bet you anything he is. You don't become that successful. He probably has different strings. I would.

Yeah. But I bet you. Student tie strain. I loved, in terms of commercials, I just want to say I loved the Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen one. I thought that was really fun. A lot of cryptocurrency ones. Yes. A lot of being yelled at about not getting into crypto and feeling the pressure there.

Maybe that's what I'll do today. i'll quit diet coke and get into crypto i feel ashamed that i'm not involved with it um and i i missed i missed the part of the game where the fucking bangles lost i i fell asleep i was so tired i had i i had was so sleep deprived and um and i also like didn't uh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was a major factor too. But I'll tell you what, Joe Burrow is so cute. He's a little Culkin. Joe Burrow, a little Culkin. He's all five of them put together.

Who's the kicker for the Bengals? A little Culkin. Who's the kicker for the Bengals? Oh, he's a good one. McPherson. Oh, boy, he is a cutie. He went to Florida. And so is the guy, who's the main guy that they kept showing for the Rams?

Matt Stafford. He's cute, too. Yeah, he's very handsome. Oh, my God. What is with? I know that Beckham's so cute. He's very handsome. I don't remember him.

Cooper Cupp looks like, what's the guy? Amish? Like a hot Amish man. Okay. But who's missing? I heard his name a bunch. I will say that I hate Chris Collingsworth's voice more than anything. Oh, you've always hated it.

I can't. And then we looked it up and he dated 12-year-olds when he was 26. I can't stand his voice. I don't know what it is. It's just, it sounds like it's on the brink of going out. Yeah. And I wish Joe Buck would have been doing the Super Bowl. We got to go to break.

We're going to come back with Top 1, Bottom 1, and it's a special Valentine's Day edition. Oh, I had something to talk about the hat. Damn it! Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's

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And we're back. Andrew, what did you want to say about the halftime show let's get it in just every celebrity in the crowd trying to make the halftime performance about them did you see bieber and then they were all loving it they were all loving it i get it what do you mean they were making it about them because they were enjoying it but not just enjoying it like literally like they were like they were part of which but that happens at every react like uh award show you go to the audience and they're i want what would you prefer him just just felt a little much to me we gotta get come up with a title for you this guy who thinks everyone i mean obviously justin bieber i don't think i'm wrong though you're not but would you if you had

a camera right in your face knowing it's going to cut to you at some point in the performance what would you have been doing andrew collin during that performance what would you have been doing differently california knows how to party as opposed to california everybody it's more about me hey no that's how i felt can we cut to the picture of the jumbotron that when andrew and i got on the jumbotron and it was my name and andrew got into my shot can we cut to that right now and see if andrew would not make it about him let's get to top one bottom one that was different that was completely different that's yeah okay i was trying to hype you up um top one bottom one today is romantic gestures category romance classic romantic gestures and and uh for halloween or for

halloween for valentine's day which is some of our halloween um spookier there's so many cliche things that men do for women women do for men but it's more about like, you know, heterosexual relationships and what is done for, I'll say in any relationship, what is done for the female energy person. Our top thing that we like personally. Top that we like or bottom thing that we like? It's bottom and top, you know. So let's start with the bottom.

Our least favorite romantic gesture, which may or may not be something that happens a lot and frequently on you know on instagram on on valentine's day andrew do you have one because i could get us started yeah get us started get us started um i think that um rose petals on the bed first of all flowers i'll just say flowers bottom bottom for me and listen I'm not considering every like way an animal could be anytime an animal is involved with some kind of message or delivery me no like but I will say flowers for me I do love them when I get them I think they're gigantic waste of money though and I would honestly prefer a card that said instead of flowers i picked you this fucking i picked

something in the guard i picked a three leaf clover for you it doesn't even have to be four leaf and tape it to a card and say this is your flower or if you want some kind of plant that has been destroyed here you go and i've donated the 60 to the st louis stray rescue that like that is so much and i know flower shops need to stay in business. Don't worry. This isn't going to threaten them. Girls, they will never go out of business. They upcharge so much.

And flowers are beautiful, but they are so expensive. And I just think that I would rather people waste their money on literally anything. And we'll get to what I think that could be in the top one. Andrew, do you have a bottom? I mean, I guess it's more do what i've done in the past because i don't feel like girls get as many presents for the guy i don't yeah no we're talking about things that

have done for female energy okay for female yeah yeah like in general it doesn't have to be things you've done well what i did do one time uh no rose petals i did from from the door to the bed in college with my college girlfriend. And honestly, I don't even know if she slept in the hotel room that night. I don't even know if she came. So it's just setting yourself up for failure. Yes. A little Hansel and Gretel to the bed. Oh, dude.

Yeah, it was like Hansel and it was just hansel alone in bed crying i almost went with that as my bottom because it is so stupid and honestly the other day on my bed here at my hotel they put rose petals all over the bed and did a big heart and she know the woman who cleans my room knows i'm here alone she's cleaning up after i mean she probably cleans up enough fucking diet coke that she thinks I'm supporting a family of 18. But they put roll... And I'm just like, now I just have to clean this shit up. I just think that flowers are... And the vase for flowers is such a burden

because you just end up with this thing that you put on top of your cabinets. And it gets moldy. The water gets moldy. Yes, and the water gets moldy. So what should we do instead of a flower girl? Well, we'll get to that for the top one. Oh.

Okay, Noah, bottom for you. Okay, anything that's a surprise that involves a big gesture. Just like in the public. Yeah, like a surprise engagement with a group of people, with your friends and family, a jumbotron.

Just like anything big and public like that. Oh, I love that. I want everyone to know. I thought you hate that. I thought you hate a public engagement. I love it. Super Bowl engagement last night, by the way.

There was? From the team that lost. No, the team that won. Oh, really? I wish they lost to see if he'd still do it. I hated the Adele one because I thought that it was stupid that everyone thought Adele planned it. That's a different thing, but I do love

public displays of... You don't think it puts too much pressure on the girl? There's one. Bruno Mars' Marry Me is the song, and the guy puts his girlfriend in the back of a volvo like she's facing out you know those seats that face out in the back and they leave the trunk up you guys got to watch it marry me bruno mars no you shouldn't because it'll you'll it's your fucking bottom but i love this shit and they do a whole um dance like he starts off by being like

um he puts headphones on her so she's listening to to the Bruno Mars song and then it plays out of the back as well. And then the car starts slowly pulling out of the, down the street and they blocked off the street and all of their friends come together along the way. And in the song, it's like, it's a beautiful night.

You're looking for something fun to do. It's okay, baby. I want to marry you. And then there's a part where it says, or maybe it's the dancing blues or something, but it sounds like dancing Jews. And so they have all these rabbis come in dancing at that part.

But it's all their friends. And you can tell they're like musical theater nerds because all of their friends are just like loving it and walking along. And it moves me so much and it's this big proposal at the end it's like because i want to marry you and then her family comes in at the end you can tell she didn't expect to see them it's so cute and you should watch it um let's go to our top one romantic gesture i'll start us off a card that shares

your feelings just a simple card literally can be a piece of computer paper from the printer. You fold in half, you draw a fucking heart on the front, and then you write at least one whole page densely of your feelings about someone with a couple jokes in it, but truly like how you really feel and being vulnerable. And it can be the cheapest thing. All you need is a pen and paper. And I think that's the best possible thing for Valentine's Day is just or birthdays anything it's always what I give is a try to make a card that's really heartfelt that says everything I can't really say to this person to their like face about them and that's what I like and I just right here have my card from the guy i'm seeing

and it is and usually he gets me cards that are just like you're hot i love and then it's like it's usually like a one-liner inside because he is effusive and very in other ways and i've never told him like i really want you to write a full thing but i just opened it up and it's pretty dense. I think it just says you hot 30 times. Andrew, top one. Me borrowing that card. Chris looks like Andrew if I just, I could switch it up. And Chris, Andrew. I think the nicest thing that I do,

that isn't like regarding regarding money or anything romantic is a massage where I break out lotion and all that shit without expecting sex. Don't touch the vagina. Just give a real fucking massage. Like a real massage. Not that like, oh, my fingers hurt. Or, oh, I've been doing it for six minutes. Where's my massage

i'm talking like a massage i'm talking oils candles that is a great idea and like and just like really paying attention and taking my time i don't think there could be much nicer no no like you should wear a snowsuit yeah i should wear yeah yeah you should wear a snow suit. Yeah, I should wear. Yeah. You should wear a chastity belt. Like no anticipation. I would, but I'd lose the key. Maybe fuck before it and then do it. So you know that there's no. Oh, yeah.

You know that you can. And you're like, I don't even think I want to. Squeeze out all my cum. Possible. I love that. I love I love doing that because really it is like. And it's so sensual and you get to touch every part and it's loving it really is like is there anything more loving to get in a

head massage like i fucking it's so especially like right here where they like the third eye yeah your third eye your third eye chakra noah it's the clit of your forehead oh see i like um the temples and like the like uh like jaw right here where your jaw hinges oh baby even though i just watched the other day i'm like all of my youtube suggestions are stories about people with like crazy body things like the girl without that was born without a jaw the girl that was born and can't stop eating, the girl that lost all of her skin. And it's all these amazing people that have like, the boy who's made of tumors.

And it's just like, I don't know why, YouTube just found something that I'm into. And it's just amazing to see these stories of perseverance. Doesn't it sound like children books? Yes, it does. The boy made out of tumors. They teach me important life lessons. It might be a good sound like children books yes it does and the boy they teach me important life lessons um like uh it might be a good idea for children books like the darkest children books possible yeah it's a bad idea to make them learn lessons and yeah yeah but grateful for their jaws

honestly i was grateful for my fucking jaw the other day because i watched this girl who was so amazing and has to like he she how does she eat she um they they took one of her ribs and made it into a small jaw but it will never have a hinge and so it's just that she she i think she eats like she has to just eat soft things and um she's on tiktok and she just type the girl without a born without a jaw she's so the way her brother like almost cries talking about how proud he is of her is the sweetest thing. She's very musical because she thought she'd never express herself vocally

because she caught, she's hard like this. Her brother had the same illness but just grew a beard, I heard. Oh, that's so fucking funny. God damn it, that's funny. Noah, what's your top romantic gesture? Anything that's like kind of like

made by hand so it could be like a even like a like a macaroni frame for a photo uh yes something drawn something played something that took time other than handing money to someone at a cash register yeah exactly and has creativity involved. But you could argue that you spent time earning that money to spend. So every woman is different, but I do, yeah, creativity also. I love that.

If someone made you an ironwork, you knew they had to bend irons and shit. Chris literally makes me, he welds. Yeah, welds. And he also does stained glass. And he, oneine's he made me maybe it was my birthday he made me a bird that i have in my room and then this christmas he made me um a tail like a a square taylor swift like album like her album 1989 he did he designed it

all and made it and um that's and i told him hey um i want all nine of her albums done like that and i want to display them in my window because they're tiny and they would look so cool, all of them. And I was like, but I don't want to wait for birthdays and Christmas. Like, I want you to do it. I was like, can I just like pay you? And he's like, no, I'll do it. I'm like, and he was just like, what do you mean you don't want it? And I was like, I just want it now.

Like, do I have to wait? And I just think, yeah, anything handcrafted is is really nice too but um and it's sexy you like envision like the medieval times of them like breaking like the fire like falling collecting flowers yourself out on a walk or like some kind of right or stealing them from your neighbor who's like an old lady going to a cemetery and picking some out yeah um my aunt lynn who died always used to steal flowers from cemeteries like she that was just a thing she did i know it's an awful thing but it was funny because we have not buried her yet because she died when we all couldn't be together

so we're kind of figuring out what to do with her or like just as a plaque or something and i want to go i want to put her at a cemetery. And I want her thing to say, take whatever flowers are here. You know, like, there's a way to give back. So anytime she gets flowers, they will always be taken to give back. Because it's true. The dead people aren't going to fucking see them. Where's her body?

Did she cremate it? She was cremated. I'm going to get some of, she had my cousin's ashes. When she died, my cousin, who was her son, who's my best friend growing up, who, Andrew, you remind me a lot of

because I want you to die. She had his ashes and we never really knew what happened to JD's ashes. And so I'm going to get some and I'm so fucking excited about it. I don't know what I'm going to do about it, but just having,

there's something about it that makes me like really excited i don't i know that's dumb but final thought um what do you want to be cremated no no you want to i saw a funny joke this guy whose kid died and the kid got cremated like the end yeah that's it anyways what else no no no so his son got cremated and he's like, how do I even know? Like he had a thought like, is that really him in there? Like they could just literally throw in anything. That reminds me of Cosby, honestly, because Cosby's son got murdered. Oh, yeah.

Remember? And they were talking about it. This documentary is so good. Again, it's called We Need to Talk About Cosby. Didn just don't get murdered on the side of the road yes and they don't get into like what happened because i don't really remember what happened but they did say that you know he was at the time doing a show called cosby it was after the cosby show had ended but he was doing he was on set and you know he missed a couple days of work and then he came back and he gathered everyone together and walked in.

Like, one of the writers was like, he kind of walked in like, and here's Bill to, like, talk to everyone about his son dying. And he came in and he was like, it was a little weird because they were like, and now Bill Cosby to talk to address the cast and crew about his son's passing that we're all like waiting to hear. Your daughter got cancer. Like, it's not a good voice. But that's the way bill did everything was like he's now bill cosby and so he just he did a whole he did a whole comedy routine essentially about his son dying only four days after he died because he said you know that's how he had to flip it and also he's a fucking sociopath dear god you have to watch this

documentary he is what's it on hulu i'll watch it tonight yeah for some reason i'm not getting it on hulu in mexico i had to do it through showtime and i just did the free trial but man is it worth it it's um so let's do a deep dive deep dive on third i mean it's you know what it is interesting as someone who obviously if you like to hear about like how people came to fame and like hearing about stories about show business careers. I mean, they cover all of that. And they cover, it's almost like the O.J. Simpson documentary where it said, what was the setting? What was the time like when this all went down that we allowed this to happen?

What was the culture? What did he did for black america what he then did to warrant hannibal burris going on stage and completely um you know hannibal burris the most grainy video you've ever seen shot is the one of hannibal burris in philadelphia which is ironic because that's where cosby is from on stage saying you know cosby telling us to pull up our pants and that, you know, lambasting single mothers for not doing enough. And,

and, you know, absentee fathers and black people need to be better and talk clearly and all these things. And he's like, and motherfucker, we're not raping all over the place. Why don't you're a rapist in the audience kind of goes, huh?

And he goes, Google it. He goes, Google, when you go home, Google, Bill Cosby rape. It definitely has more results than hannibal burris and the irony now is that hannibal burris's name is probably in most of those google results for bill cosby rape because he was the one

that got everyone i saw it before even he did like that what's that show that he said it was a bit he wasn't even like yeah i saw it like a small bar show he just started talking about it and everyone's like what i was like i saw it live i just remember being like whoa you know like because we never man the sweater they're nice sweaters he's a doctor on it's like calling out like who would be like that now like where no honestly bob saget i was thinking like he the way people are talking about him as like America's dad. I mean, that's one of my lyrics in the song was like, you know, he was,

it would be like someone like Bob Saget who after Bob's death, obviously it's come out even more what amazing man he was. It'd be like that. It would be like Mr. Rogers. Honestly, it is like, it was so, it was, oh, you know who someone compared it to?

Because at first they said. I'm thinking more like The rock or someone like that yeah well absolutely the rock but they said during the documentary that at first the when you became a comedian in the 90s you found out from like there are certain things when you become in the show business in show business that you find out that the general public doesn't know i always say that when you land in la and become part of like when when you when you move to hollywood to make it and you're kind of in insider like talking to people who've been around a while you find out ellen is actually not nice that's one of the first things they're like ellen's a cunt and you're like what and i i compare it to like a lay when you get off the plane in hawaii they're just like ellen's a cunt and they're you're like oh i'm gonna bring this back to the midwest and show my

mom and they're like it's not gonna hold up by the time you get back it'll it'll all fall apart and she's not gonna believe you but you there are certain things you know and everyone kind of knows open secrets obviously is i think what they're called and the one that they say back then was that Bill caught or, uh, Robin Williams steals jokes and Bill Cosby is a notorious philanderer. He cheats on his wife, which was crazy back then, which was already the most crazy thing because he's the family guy, you know? And so that was the craziest thing to imagine that Bill Cosby cheats,

let alone is a serial rapist, but he cheats on his wife. And someone said, a woman in the documentary said, that would be like saying Barack Obama cheats on Michelle. That's how incendiary that was back then. That's a good example. And even imagining that made my heart sink.

I was like, no, he didn't. You know, about Barack. Yeah, he took his own flight to Epstein's Island. Oh, but you just see that when Bill Cosby gets a little bit older, he starts getting more crotchety and he just starts making his little fucking bed for them to come through.

And women were not being believed at any point during all this. And by the way, he, he was a master in getting women to not talk about. None of these women talked about it, even to their closest. There's only one woman that I can remember who really shared it with her partner,

maybe two in, in the documentary that it covers. Most of these women never said a thing about it until this all came to be because they truly felt it was their fault. And most of them, and almost maybe I don't want to say gratefully, can't remember the assault. They just woke up naked. And the last thing they remember is falling face first into a backgammon

board um and i just want to say you should watch the documentary for the most interesting detail of the whole thing that i will not spoil but it involves my favorite food oatmeal so that's all i'm gonna say so you should go watch it to learn what the fuck that's all about because i still don't know and i would love to speculate with you once you do watch it. Talk about a commercial for oatmeal. Yeah. Well, I'm going to go have another bowl. Thank you so much for joining us on Valentine's Day. I hope you had fun. We really covered it all on here. I love you so much, you guys. Thanks for being there for us in our lives and so supportive and sweet. And you're just the best fans. And we're coming up on a year and we're grateful for each and every one of you we've got along the way and we'll be celebrating that uh as we go on because yeah you guys make

this show possible and uh we're just you're the best and we got special fun announcements coming up as well uh so with that andrew noah great pod everyone else out there don't be kuh. And Jack Reacher. I was going to say that, but I almost said Jack the Reacher, like Jack the Ripper, which wouldn't have been right. Or the barber. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with

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