The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #178 This Is What It Is

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

Nikki and Andrew have bugs on the brain. Also, recovery, rock bottoms and why some people mimic things they've seen in a movie. Andrew tries to understand why Nikki is not a fan of imitation and is surprised by her boldness to save some dolphins this morning. You Heard It Here First, Noa takes a stab at reading the news while Nikki and Andrew react to a shark attack, a child under the stairs, a branding failure and they care about a quiz she has. They play Esther Perel's Where Should We Begin? Game and get into a conversation around taboos. In The Final Thought, Nikki talks about why she dropped her bad gum habit. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRad surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms.

Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten

industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs.

For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story.

Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more.

Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Here I am. Welcome to the show. I'm Nikki Glaser. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. How's Nikki. Here I am. Welcome to the show. I'm Nikki Glaser. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. How y'all doing out there?

I'm untangling some cords. Untangling cords. How are your cord management, you guys? Andrew's pretty good about like, his stuff is tang. Like, man, I haven't seen you untangle headphones in truly months and months and months. Like, I don't even know that when we were living together, you did. And you don't have AirPods. But literally, the image of you I have from New York City, Andrew, is untangling headphones.

Yeah, I think because I was a dog walker. So I was listening to a lot of music. Yeah. Headphones were out. Then I'd put them in my pocket to talk to the owner. Yeah. And then they get in the pocket and they do something in there. Oh my God. Where they start to tango.

They start to fool around. Yeah. And next thing you know. They start fucking. They start fucking hard and they're knotted up. Yeah. They're like two little like, you know, like when two flies fuck each other and you can't get them apart or bees or something.

Or ladybugs or fuckbugs. Yeah. What are those bugs that fuck all the time? Fuckbugs. No. There's no. I mean, all bugs that fuck all the time? Fuck bugs. Noah? There's no... I mean, all bugs be fucking all the time. No, there's bugs that love bugs fuck all the time.

Oh, love bugs. What do you call those little bugs that roll up? Roly polies. You called them roly polies? What did you call them, Noah? Maggots? No? Do you know that maggots breathe from their butts they do who doesn't

breathe did you say yeah they they breathe from their butts i mean those things they also eat like uh you know old rotting. That's kind of a more interesting or a more like, whoa, maggots are such a hard life. No, they love it. Maybe they just show like they get to show up when everything seems terrible. And they're like, that's when they're living their best life.

So that's true. I kind of like, oh, their winter is our summer. Maggots are so disgusting. Do you know they're like baby flies, right? Oh, I just thought they were larvae. And a lot of times maggots like help protect,

like when someone, I've, I watched so many like weird, like videos online of people getting there. Like you guys know I'm into wart videos. It's so gross. But if you, I mean, it's, I've watched so many videos about um uh podiatrists talking about people that have neglected feet and like wounds and stuff and they said that they find a lot of times when someone walks in with like a you know a diabetic person who has a open wound

that they can't even like feel anymore yeah and that it's rotting flesh and there's like maggots on it that the maggots are what kept them from getting disease because they ate all the stuff that would have been a bacterial infection and like they maggots sometimes keep the person alive longer because they're just chomping down on all like the gross stuff it's so gross would you ever do if you had to like you, you know, sometimes they do leeches. Like Fear Factor? Oh, no. I mean, I would never eat a bug.

I think I ate like crickets one time that were in a chocolate bar as like some kind of like, you know, they used to sell things like, this has crickets in it. And Kirsten and I would go to this place called the Bug Store. I ate ants before. Just for?

Like ants on a log. And I thought it'd be funny to put actual ants on the peanut butter. I ate it. I bet you didn't even taste it. Were they just very tiny? Protein, baby. Yeah, we eat so many bugs. I was a jack in kindergarten.

I was fucking eating so much fucking ants. No, I, yeah, there was ants on a log, which was, I think, raisins on peanut butter and celery. Yeah. And I thought it'd be funny to throw on some. By yourself or was your brother there? No. This was just a lone thing. Rusty was there. We know it was Rusty. Rusty was in my heart.

Those were love bugs. I was probably hanging out with a guy named Dale or something. I had this guy named Buck which is a great name. Buck. Your friends have the greatest names. On our softball team. And he bet me, I bet him 20 bucks that he wouldn't put his face in a fire ant pile

and, like, smash it around in there. Did you have 20 bucks? I think I have some IOUs to Buck. He did it, though. He just threw his face in this fire ant pile and just, and he got up and he has a half a tooth. And he hit a softball like no bullshit, like 600 feet. This guy was an animal.

He definitely has killed people. Can you look him up? Where is Buck? I don't know his last name. Oh, my God. I don't think he had one. So was he screaming in horror? No, he loved it.

I honestly think he would have done it just for kicks. He would have paid me money to do it. You would probably do something like that for kicks. Yeah, I was a kid that would probably do something just to get attention. There was that Dave, the show Dave. Yeah. Remember that was that whole- Oh, yeah, that was his whole identity as an adolescent.

He's the one that will do insane things. Slamming his face on pudding. Yeah. And then he kills his old self by drowning him in pudding. Remember? Oh, yeah. He's like, I don't want to be that guy anymore. He's just the goofy guy.

I relate to that a lot. I bet. Is that why you love that show so much? Oh, yeah. He's a Jewish artist that shouldn't be an artist because his parents aren't successful. And everyone's telling him that he probably shouldn't be doing this because he should just be an accountant. And his parents don't really get it. Yeah.

Oh, I relate an insane amount to him. You probably were the goofball. Because the other day, someone said you were telling us they used to call you asexual ace or something. I was just asexual for a lot of my, but someone called you asexual something like an asexual. Um, remember some, you were saying that your nickname and I was like,

you're what part of your nickname was asexual. I just think, Oh, I don't remember. Oh, I, I remember someone had given you that moniker and I was like, you guys came up with asexual,

maybe asexual dead again, virgin or something. You were just, it was some guy that you like, it was rusty, rusty, like a Lothar, Lothari.

Like you were compared to some guy. That's like a guy that has a lot of sex, but they were calling you the asexual blah, blah, blah. Costanza. Oh, I was an asexual Costanza.

Costanza doesn't have a lot of sex, but even less than him. He's definitely not asexual. I guess heanza doesn't have a lot of sex. Even less than him. He's definitely not asexual. He's motivated by women for sure. I guess if Costanza just wanted to fuck. Not fuck at all. It's so funny that you used to and that it wasn't about being asexual. It was about like being

afraid of STDs. But so often I think we do that where we make up that we are this thing so that it's okay to get away with the thing that we're really dealing with, which is a totally different thing. Like you weren't asexual.

You just had anxiety. Yes. And your anxiety about getting HIV or just like being- Or already having it or like, I don't know. My brain was- That kept you from having sex. Which it shouldn't have kept me from having sex

because if I thought I had it, I shouldn't be having sex. But you were still jerking off. You weren't asexual. You were still getting boners and stuff. Don't asexuals jerk off? No. They don't have any.

Don't they put their own dick in their butt? They don't do that? No. Really? Is that what you did? You put your own dick in your butt? Well, I bit on my own nipples. How did you breathe?

That's not a thing? Huh? Through your asshole. Dick in it. Wait. Tell me again because you did reference this other day you once put your penis in your asshole no no that was ian oh ian fydance did that that's right i i tried you tried yeah i never got in there but you have to go through there over the balls i gotta travel yeah it's like through the woods mary you pack up a little suitcase for me like send him off like hope you can get over a man

yeah my dick ran away from my own body to my asshole but never made it it got scared oh my god i see it getting to the precipice of it like uh to the you know the edge of a volcano and just being like whoa like about to fall in and being so scared. I want to go back. Well, it's funny because like my dick wouldn't even fuck my own asshole because my asshole is not that attractive. Right. My dick's like, no, I'm good.

I'm good. I yeah. I mean, like there's so many things I think in my life that I've covered up like because I. You didn't want the real truth out there. Right. Like I was just scared of roller coasters or whatever so I used to say I would get sick

because that's an easier thing to like no one can debate like oh my stomach hurts so I don't want to go on the roller coaster as opposed to like I just am scared yes or

you know even having an eating disorder being like I am for a while I was like I'm vegan because it was just like, okay, that's an excuse to not ever eat anything that's around.

I mean, now I'm a vegan for different reasons, but a lot of times, uh, people with eating disorders claim to be like gluten free. Like they just make up things so that they can not have to eat things in public with people and not make it a thing of like, I want to lose weight.

I, you know, I just, it gets so much more hate if you're like, I'm watching my figure. If you said you're allergic to alcohol like i don't i don't eat sugar it's a choice that i make because i'm just it just leads me i just avoid it because it leads me down a road that i don't like um because i just can't stop but um but would that be an eating disorder still no well that's so what's the difference though i'm just wondering like because like at what point does it well for me it's just that triggers my obsessive thoughts about food

when i start eating sugar i can't stop thinking about the sugar i ate i want more but i also feel terrible that i ate it it's just like a battle that i don't even want to take part in but isn't that battle the disorder yeah so i avoid eating it because I don't want to feel that. The feeling comes when I eat it. It doesn't come from not eating it. But saying like, I don't want to eat sugar because it makes me fatter. It's not about making me fatter. No, but I'm not saying that you're saying.

I'm saying, though, that that would get more hate in a way. Yeah, the other day on Perfect Strangers 2, there was some cookies that they had for a scene and they went out of their way to make vegan, sugar-free cookies so that I could eat them and I was like I just don't want cookies. I already had breakfast. I'm going to have lunch right after the

scene. I don't want cookies right now regardless of what they're made of. This isn't, but I felt pressured to eat the cookies because I'm on camera. The other actors in the scene are eating cookies. Yeah. And I just,

I hated it because I, because if I didn't eat the cookies, then I look like a woman who's like dieting when really it's not about that. They'll go, well, they're vegan. Why wouldn't you eat them? Right.

And you got to go, well, cause there's sugar in them and they go, well, they're sugar free. They're sugar-free though because i don't want to eat something that doesn't because you know what people just eat whatever the fuck is put in front of them and i'm not one of those people like i liked i value my meals i want what i put in my body to be what i want not what is just laying around but it really has a lot of stigma to it if you don't eat especially if you're a thinner woman

who what why why do you need you don't need to not eat these just eat them because you're already thin like it's like that kind of thing it's like um or people do with alcohol all the time too they're like just have two drinks oh you're allergic yeah that's what i was thinking about too it's the same yes the same shit of the same like alcoholic if i said to people i go i can't drink alcohol my body i have an allergic reaction and i'll get really red you break out in handcuffs i'll break out in the old joke people i used to tell everyone has a joke when i stopped drinking yeah when i stopped drinking and all my other friends were drinking and we would go out and everything and people be like oh so what so what are you going to drink?

What are you going to drink? It got easier to like tell people that I was an alcoholic, which is why I'm not drinking than just being like, I'm not drinking. Oh, yes. I lied about that. They want a bottom. They want a rock bottom. A rock bottom is easier to understand. Because alcoholic is almost the same as saying I am asexual.

It just goes right to the being asexual is not an easy thing to admit either but it's easier than saying i have anxiety about catching aids uh yeah saying i'm an alcoholic shuts people up quicker than i don't know i just i'm i realize it wasn't doing for me what i wanted it to do anymore and i it doesn't but just have one okay well i that's not really it's not even worth it it's just a whole conversation alcohol shuts people up I mean people always used to be like Nikki what is all this food you know this was before I like found recovery for eating stuff but they'd be like they'd make comments and or you know if I was going to eat if I was beginning like my binge people would see my food and just be like what the hell

is this and i just go oh i have an eating disorder you know like i just i just wanted to cut through it because it's just like shut up i don't want to explain this i don't want to have to make i don't want to make excuses i just want to tell the truth without and and and people get mad though because they because people take everything personally we have such egos that if something you're doing somehow affects me, if you don't drink, then you must think I'm a bad person for drinking. And so now I'm mad that you're not drinking. You're not eating cookies? Oh my God, well then.

You don't want a hamburger? What do you want? Oh, you have, people go like, and people get jealous of people who are trying to lose weight, which I guess not eating cookies always looks like you're trying to lose weight. Not my goal, but other people get mad about that because they're like, well,

either they can't do that or they don't want to do it. And so they're just like, but you have to be like, I don't want to have to do what you're doing. I feel that way all the time about stuff. Is there any food that you fantasize about eating now, knowing that you know, the other day Robin asked me because I eat really healthy and she's like, I was just wondering, like for you, what would you eat if you could just eat anything? Yeah.

And I was like, literally this. Yeah. I don't. I like what I really like. What I eat is what I crave. It's what I think about when I like what, I really like what I eat. It like is what I crave. It's what I think about when I wake up. I'm eating what I want. And it just so happens what I want is the thing that maybe someone else would go,

oh my God, that seems so sad. We're similar like that where we could eat the same thing every single day. Yeah. No, I don't, I don't fantasize about food. I used to fantasize about food when I starved myself. I would think about food 24 hours a day. That's all I would think about. It's just like,

you know, I remember on old survivor episodes when I watched that show, they would just lay around on the sandbank, like so tired. And they would just go pizza. Like, can you think about like, like think about just like melted stringy cheat.

They would just imagine food. And that was what is like being anorexic. You just think about food constantly. You watch, I watched the food network all the time. All I wanted to think about was food and now i just i feed myself so there's no fantasy of food yeah it's interesting because like with alcohol like if you've you you don't drink like non-alcoholic beer to you don't have to drink non-alcoholic beer to get through a day but you have to eat so you're whatever you're dealing with that disorder happens every day now granted i could drink liquids

which might remind me of liquor or whatever yeah but you know what i mean like it doesn't you don't have to do that every day but with food you have to do every day but it's not about the food it's about the feeling yeah like if you know i felt that way with weed you know like there's it's not about like oh i'm certainly if you're like starving yourself you're gonna you're close to going off the edge with to some foods that might fuck your mind up yeah but if you're if you're satiated and don't have hunger um i am drawn to overeating when i'm satiated because of feelings but that has nothing to do with me being like, I'm depriving myself of food.

It's me clicking into like, I want to fucking push down this feeling and this thing tastes good. And I just, it's just like doing a drug. So it's not motivated by being hungry. It's motivated by being unstable, which is something that you have to take care of in another way. I had a thought the other day,

I actually wrote about it when I said I was like three years without alcohol where I'm like, all I want is like a nice glass of red wine with like a steak. And then I thought about it. I was like, I've never done that.

That sounds like the saddest fucking meme to me. Like I've never done that though. Like I had these thoughts. Yeah, it was like your mom swimming in the ocean. Yeah. You're romanticizing this thing that has never even happened. Yeah, yeah. That if you deprive yourself of it for the rest of your life, it was like your mom swimming in the ocean. Yeah. You're romanticizing this thing that has never even happened.

Yeah, yeah. That if you deprive yourself of it for the rest of your life, it doesn't matter because you never even did it. Nikki, you know what I miss? Drinking bourbon, reading the paper in my study.

It's like, no you don't. Like, you never did these things. Yeah. Like, I drank Jager bombs and threw up on my own dick while bragging about football. Like, I just,

I didn't, you know what i mean like it's so funny like romanticize yeah what we see on tv we glamorize these like scenes of drinking on tv and in movies when really the reality is never that for us dude every show now has a scene where someone goes to a glass even you know because i need a drink you know what it is i don't think people can't smoke anymore on on movies so then they just now they have you know alcohol you're right that's why it's in every single i mean mad men every scene was a guy drinking but like even now though it's like oh my kid is uh euphoria is just it's turned into like a but it's not wrong

it is I don't know you're right it annoys me because it makes it seem like that is a normal thing and like the only way to soothe feeling like you just went through a breakup or you had a rough day

oh I need a drink it's like a punch line when someone walks in the room like does anyone have bourbon you know like or is that whiskey in there give me some and then like chugging it and go people go like when the fucking woman is just had a long day and drinks a bunch or takes a shot because oh i got no you know i lost my fucking uh fucking i lost my dog in the war yeah i was gonna say child but maybe you you deserve it then but um but the thing is it that's what they're doing is not like cheersing to a bad day they're numbing pain and so that is accurate like that's what it does

yeah so it does do that for a while and then, the pain is waiting for you with a headache and nausea and all the dumb things you texted people the next day. The pain is not going away. It's just a Band-Aid for it, which is fine in the moment, but then you've got to keep drinking to keep it away. It will come back up. And that's the thing that I don't think those shows really represent. Yeah, look, if the show was just like,

hey, let's go get, know like uh how i met your mother where they drink in a bar where they're just having like a good time i'm all for that like whatever but if it's like i'm alone and i'm sad and it's a i'm gonna knock back three bottles of booze and i'll feel better because i did this oh man i used to steal my mom's cigarettes on late at night when i would stay up all night writing an essay senior year of high school. Yeah, where were they? Like in her bag?

In her purse and I would go steal them and sit on the front porch and just be like, God, it's fucking rough writing this five paragraph essay about fucking... Why does it, you're like a detective like having to stay up all night and you gotta... And I remember I would look at my dog Speedo and just be like, you get it speedo and i just like stare him down and like he'd be out in the yard and i'd be like god and i feel so like i felt like i was in a movie it's like

crying in the sometimes in the shower i like imagine i'm in a movie to just get the tears going like the we are so motivated and everything we do by entertainment let's get let's take a break and come back and talk a little bit more about this. Andrew! Coming! Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes

on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rappaport, and my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it,

and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Here's a clip from one of my favorite episodes. You are not a real fighter. You will never be discussed anywhere in boxing history ever. Fake Paul. The movie is The Apprentice and the movie is about young Donald Trump and his apprentice, Roy Cohen. Real character, obviously, both are real characters. It kind of has a Scarface vibe to it, which I thought was very interesting. Listen to the I Am Rap Report Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and my latest interview is with Mel Robbins.

The theory is very simple. It is a mindset tool that instantly helps you identify what's in your control and what's not in your control. Renowned motivational speaker, best-selling author, Mel Robbins. Work has been seen as the number one cause of stress. How can the let them theory help? As you notice the stress come up, Jay, you're simply going to say, let them. You have no idea right now how much time and energy is being wasted because of other people's behavior. It's like a death by a thousand cuts.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who are

making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else,

so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, Very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry.

I really wanted to be a player boy in my dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated.

Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. I want to tell you what I just did. What do you mean?

So I picked you up this morning and we you were at Starbucks I scooped you up grabbed a couple coffees ventis people said they got my drink order recently and they said it was pretty damn good

listen I'm not wrong it's fucking good I do have anxiety about people trying the things I eat because the things I eat are always, everyone just looks at them like they're so sad. So I think that when people do the things I do, they're gonna go, this is your life,

even though I like it. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. But I think. It'd be like someone trying the sex move that you talked about where you do like the reverse cowgirl with your legs open.

And someone did that and goes, that's stupid. My dick doesn't need to like. But when has ever anyone copied you and said that this tastes like shit? So many times people have looked at my food and gone, oh, my God, that's they just judge it by looking at it. So I'm scared that once they try it, they'll be like, oh, my God. Whereas if they don't try it, I can always just be like, well, it does taste good.

You just don't know. Well, there is the guy that like, or the girl that like I get chicken parm. How are you going to get it? You know, they're at dinner and they get mad at the other person. I cannot stand when people do that.

I mean, I think I've been very clear about that, that I'm always the last to order because I never want, and I have had this so many times where people go, go actually I'm going to change my order of hers and I blood starts trickling out of my ear probably why why does it do you think because you're not what you want to eat no I do want to eat when I want to eat but I just feel like they think that they think that what I ordered will work for them when really I have mine has gone through rigorous testing to get to the point where I know what I want.

I am so. So it's like someone getting a special in their first year of comedy. Well, just like you, like on HBO and they haven't worked as hard. No, it's like, I mean,

how hard have you worked to get to your order? I am a unique person who has unique tastes. And I just don't think that that person is honoring what they really want. They just are trying to be someone else is my thing and I and I think that that makes me mad because it's like I I it just makes me sad for them and it makes me I think mad because I'm just like if it honestly sounds good to you that's fine but like I think you're just trying to be me a little bit. And I think it's just a little bit sad. And it shows me like,

it just, it makes me not respect you as much because there's no way you want what I just ordered. It's so weird. And so. Well, your food orders are so specific. That would be,

I've never done that. Exactly. Bullshit. Food, food. No, I've never done that. So when someone goes, I want exactly this bullshit. Food? Food? No, just a Starbucks. Yeah, but like. Starbucks is the only thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. I don't drink that much coffee. I wasn't a big coffee head throughout my whole 20s and 30s. Yeah. I'd get coffee black with like two sugars and a little milk.

Yeah, I don't know. I gotta examine why it bothers me so much when people do that, but I think it's because I, you're not gonna like this. Just get what you like. Don't you know what you like? makes no i didn't know what i like i didn't know what i like yeah that's it makes me but what's about respect it's not even about it's not even a big deal i want people to know what they because i want people to get what they want not what

they think i want them to get no that's but that's not why i get it i'm telling you that as someone that you when you say oh oh, that sounds good. I want to try it. Yeah. But I think... Why can't you look at a menu and go like, actually, that sounds good to me. No, I feel it so much where sometimes I'll go with oat milk because if I go with almond milk, which I actually do like to taste better, you'll think, well, I actually told you that

it was less calories one time and you're not going with oat milk, but you really want oat milk. Or you would get me soy milk instead of almond milk at times. So it wasn't the same. So it's not the same because I just am like, I'm, I'm doing something for my,

that is for my sanity and your truck. It's going to fuck you. That's what it's about. That's what I was asking. I was like, I think it's about, it's like your own specific order that, that you're doing it for your, like, because of, of, I don't know's like your own specific order that that you're doing it for your like because

of of i don't know like your sanity like right yes but for me it's just like it's just a call like i'm not even thinking i'm just like oh that sounds pretty good like oh yeah right i always go like but you always liked the taste of this thing why are you switching to this other thing because you think it's more like i'm just trying to avoid people doing diet-y things yes you don't like other people doing diet-y things yes but i do diet-y things not because i'm trying to lose weight but because i know that they'll fuck up my mind whereas i think other people that i don't think you have eating disorder issues so i'm just like why not enjoy the thing that you actually want you don't have sugar issues so why wouldn't you get the thing that has something that will make it taste better in the moment for you?

Because you like the taste of things that taste. But here's the thing. I am currently I'm overweight. Right. Like if you had to say like what my weight should be by a doctor standpoint and like what my cholesterol is, I should be probably 15, 20 pounds lighter. It's fine. It's fine. It is what it is. Right. So if I decide, Hey, I want a salad. I don't want to eat that bread. Right. And then if you get offended by me not eating the bread, you're like, well,

you should enjoy the bread. You like bread, but I also probably should be healthier. You know what I mean? Yes. So it has nothing to do with you, but it projects onto other people's eating habits. Yes. No, no, no. I definitely... Which is fine because at the end of the day, you just want people to be happy. And you don't want them to feel... I don't want them to feel deprived. I don't want people to diet around me. I hate people dieting around me.

It just really... Because for me, diet equals they're hungry and miserable and distracted and not present. And I just know when people, if I watch you just have a salad that has no protein, no cheese, minimal dressing, I just know you're going to be hungry. If I have a salad, because the menu has nothing. But why are you watching what I eat? If I watch what you ate, you would be pissed. Because I can't help it. I'm just admitting what's true.

No, no, no. I'm not angry about this at all. I'm just saying like. You I can't help it. I'm just admitting what's true. No, no, no. I'm not angry about this at all. I'm just saying like. You sound hangry about it. I am pretty hungry. Because you just had a little salad. No, I had eggs this morning, fruit and cereal.

What I'm just saying is I don't want to be around people who are dieting because not because they're getting thinner than me and I'm jealous that they're doing this thing because I know

they're not going to be present. They're going to, I know what it's like to be hungry. They're going to be I know they're not going to be present. They're going to, I know what it's like to be hungry. They're going to be distracted. They're not going to be as good, good and as good of a mood. And I don't want to be around you. So honestly, it makes me want to just leave a situation when I'm with people who have not eaten enough and I, I can't help it, but I do know how much people have eaten in it. If I'm with people for seven hours, I know if someone –

because they start getting cranky. I can tell if you've eaten breakfast in the morning when we do this podcast. I can tell already. Did you think you knew I ate breakfast this morning? For sure. Well, I told you I ate breakfast. No, but I just knew you did because there's – I just knew because there was just a –

I'm so in tune with that stuff that I just know. And then I feel guilty when I want to leave a situation because people are dieting. Because that's not when people go, why do you want to leave? I guess I could just say I don't feel good. Because the truth is I don't. You could say you're asexual.

Yeah, I'll just say what they've said. Wait, so what happened at Starbucks? Okay, so we went to Starbucks. Because the truth is I don't. You can say you're asexual. Yeah, I'll just say I'm asexual. Wait, so what happened at Starbucks? Okay, so we went to Starbucks. And then we go to... Wow, we went on a tangent, boy. I mean, this is what it is. We went to the ATM machine. ATM machine, machine, machine.

This is what it is. And we... I'm at the ATM. And the ATM is right next to one of those guys that's like, hey, you want to go out on a whale watching? I'm at the ATM and the ATM is right next to a, like, uh, one of those guys that's like, Hey,

you want to go out on a whale watching? You want to go parasailing? You want to go ziplining? I got adventures for you. Like one of those kiosks. Cause there's a lot, a lot of tourists in this area. I'm at the ATM.

It's, I already said hi to the guy who's like calling people in and I'm pressing the buttons, trying to figure out how many pesos and doing the conversion and stuff and then this guy comes up to the window to talk to the woman about excursions and he's like I want to I want to swim with dolphins I want my kids swim with dolphins and I just am like I'm just like looking and then anything did you and then the woman is opening the brochure and he's like so how much is this trip and i go don't do that oh no you did this is so curb your enthusiasm i go i just want you to know they abuse

those dolphins and that no you did on a family vacation he what the family wasn't with him he goes what and i go they abuse those dolphins they're meant to be wild animals and they're in a tank and their lives are miserable just so you know i know it seems fun but i swear to god going to see i said whale watching is probably just as much money and it's and it's out in the wild and you're not disturbing and you're witnessing a wild animal who's happy what did he do i gave him it's not like i was being rude i was saying i was saying facts good those animals are abused and also your kids will get so much more enjoyment out of seeing a wild animal and that and they aren't contributing i didn't say all that but i go i think i go whale

watching is incredible you can see a live animal that's not abused and he just goes okay um i want to i want my kids to swim with dolphins and says back to the woman. No, he didn't. Yeah, he goes, I just want to swim with some dolphins. He didn't listen. He tried. He thought I was insane. And you know what?

I did not care. It was very awkward. It was not something I wanted to do. I don't want confrontation. Yeah, I feel it. I don't want to make someone feel bad about what they're going to do. I really don't. I just want to give people facts and obviously i offered a solution i wasn't just like you're a bad person i was just like hey here's some information totally fine but

here's another thing you could do and he just goes he looked at me like i was crazy and then just goes my kids want to swim with dolphins and though and he goes back to the brochure and I was just like, okay. And I just went back to the ATM and then it didn't work. And I, and then he, but I will say he has a thought later in life. No,

he walked away from the booth without doing the dolphin thing. Why do you look at the brochure? And then he saw more money because I think he, he didn't want to tell you that he felt bad. But he got to him. It did get to him. I'm not kidding you. And I bet you anything. He went back to his kids.

And let's say his kids have a little bit more empathy than he does. He went back to his kids and was like, some crazy lady just told me they abused the dolphins. Maybe his daughter goes, say what? And maybe she'll Google it and learn and say, I'm not going. You know, it could create a ripple effect or it could create, you know, Trump 2024. I believe in it even harder. Fuck the dolphins. I swam with dolphins.

We're going to rusty. Yeah. Listen, a lot of people. I wish I would have swum with dolphins before I learned it was a bad thing. Yeah. It seems like a real fun thing. We both wanted to be SeaWorld people because I went to SeaWorld once. I go, I want to do I want to ride a fucking whale.

That's what I want to do. That's the way I felt about the leaked nudes of celebrities. I wish I would have looked before I knew it was bad to look. Now you know it's an invasion of their privacy so you can't look. But I'm like, God damn it. I wish I could. I want to ride that dolphin. That's the way I say about drinking.

If you haven't quit drinking yet, you're going to at some point. If you're a self-awareaware enough person you clearly have a problem person who gets hung over constantly just enjoy your life right now get into it ride a dolphin have fun get drunk and fuck fucking ride it off go fuck a dolphin here's the thing i was thinking about this analogy the whole time a guy's when we put our dick to our assholes. We don't want to necessarily, we just want to see if we can. And it's the same thing as taking your tongue and seeing if you can touch your nose.

It's the same exact feeling a guy gets. I can't do it. What? Touch your dick to your nose? Put my tongue in my asshole. From around, go around my head and around the back. Like Kim Kardashian with that champagne.

There are people that can do that. It's fucking wild. What? To touch their... That can lick their own asshole that way. Oh yeah,

it's incredible. Is it like sexual when you see that? When you see women that are like really bendy? I always know that like if a woman can do a split, guys are like,

whoa, sex. Some girls will like put their legs so far, like literally like, and put their legs so far, literally. And then their vagina is here. And it's a little like a sword swallower. Like a circus.

It's too circus-like almost. Yeah, it's almost like circus. What did you call Cirque du Soleil yesterday? Cirque du Soleil. He called it Cirque du Soleil. He called it Cirque du Soleil. Which makes sense. Like, it's like, it sounds like, it's French. Cirque du Soleil is French, but it sounds like Spanish.

What is it again? Cirque, C-I-R-Q-U-E, du, D-U, soleil, S-O-L-E-I-L, which is such. Magellan effect Let's get to the news I gotta pee so bad Sorry Go You heard it here first

You heard it here first Yeah you heard it here first Welcome back From the bathroom Oh man Yeah I just went to the bathroom I realize you have a bathtub In your bedroom

Yes Which is wild Did you piss in it? I did I pissed in it And then I took a bathtub in your bedroom. Yes. Which is wild. Did you piss in it? I did. I pissed in it, and then I took a shit in your shower. But don't worry about it. Your shower is in your closet.

No, I was just saying to you that it's either when you're rich, your bathtub's in your bedroom, and when you're poor, you're in New York, and your shower's in your kitchen. I remember my buddy Casey and J.F. Harris or something or something why i forget his i know

jf yeah they had a shower in their kitchen like full-on shower in their kitchen oh my god so gross so funny it's kind of cool though you could like cook eggs well fucking have you ever eaten in the shower huh eaten? Eaten in the shower? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Had a beer in the shower? I mean, that was my whole 20s. Yeah. You might as well just, that could be a montage.

I'm surprised you showered in your 20s. Well, it was just, yeah, I drank beer once a week. All right, what's the first news story? The news, here it comes. I saw, actually, someone wrote me a message. They're like, canah read the news because you seem to not like get through it and i was like we could try it no i want to noah will you try reading the news yeah no you read the news and we'll react yeah i like that it's not a bad

idea it really is honestly i i read it i didn't get offended at all i go yeah i got a point listen you know your limitations yeah no Noah's got a good news voice. That's just knowing yourself. Noah. I like the way Andrew reads the news, even if it's quirky. That's such a sweet way to say it.

Have all the swells, by the way. And it's Wednesday, so you know what that means. Noah, what's the news today? Let's try something new. Okay. on the swells by the way and it's wednesday so you know what that means no what's the news today let's try something new okay um beachgoers witness a 15 foot shark kill a swimmer in sydney whoa people who were fishing off the nearby shoreline heard the swimmer scream in terror and saw the entire attack unfold oh my god in. In a video, a shark was lurking around and the guy recording yelled out, someone just got eaten by a shark.

Oh man. Oh no, that's insane. Police say when they arrived, they could still see human remains in the water. Oh my God. Wait, do they know who it is? They haven't identified the person who was eaten just yet.

Fuck. What kind of, wait, can we see the video? Or is it really scary? Is it all blurred out? I think it's the guy that didn't swim with the dolphins. He went on the whale. He's like, you know what?

I'll go swim in the wild. It's better. At least they don't get abused there. god oh shit no that's so fucking sad and like also so so terrible to witness what do you do do you take out your camera and fucking film dude go viral what you do if you see someone being eaten by a shark i mean nothing i i i don't have the ability to do anything about that like it's it's kind of like i don't know i don't know i oh boy i think you go they witnessed him like the guy was screaming uh that he was the man already like dead uh they heard a scream and

then when uh the police arrived there were body parts in the water. Oh, God. Oh, there's a video of it? Fuck, yeah. Oh, my God. Wait a second. Can we see? Was he a surfer?

Someone just got eaten by a shark. Oh, no. It's going to be blurry. It's right there. That's a great one. Oh, there's a big blurred out body. Oh, no. And big blurred out body. Oh, no.

And then the birds land on it. Oh, my God. The birds are all going crazy around it. Whoa, that's a big blur. It is insane. Oh, no. What is this? The person's still there. Oh, God.

Okay, this is probably. Do you want me to stop it? I can't see you guys. No, keep going. Oh, my God. Okay, this is probably... Do you want me to stop it? I can't see you guys. No, keep going. Oh, my God. Dude, you see like big... Oh, my God. It's not good.

Wow. Glazer is definitely going to try to find that unblurred footage. You think there's another shark being like, God, you ate what I wanted to eat. Oh, my God. Andrew, that's so funny. We just ran out. that was the last one we had sorry you know what i like yeah we just ran out of um human swimming man wait so time out what this oh it was a swim who's swimming where there's shark like surf don't swim man well i'm not going with

these don't blame the victim dude don't blame the victim this is the circle of life that guy was Where did the shark surf? Don't swim, man. I'm not going with these whale sharks, man. Don't blame the victim, dude. Don't blame the victim. This is the circle of life. That guy was... Let me just say, though, that was some really deep, rough water that that guy was swimming in.

That's what I'm saying. What are you doing? Maybe he was out there surfing. Did that look like surfing times? No, it says it was a swimmer. Oh, fuck, dude. I mean... By themselves?

What kind of... Oh, you know what? I can't wait till we find out about this guy, what his life was like. I'm so sorry to anyone who was affected by that. It's so, so sad. And I will try to watch this footage. I don't know. There's something about.

I've never even seen Jaws, that movie. Because I'm so scared of stuff like that. It's a documentary. But. I. Okay, I'll stop this sucks no this really sucks it's because i'm so afraid of it so i make jokes about it huh would you want to watch the actual footage of that well because that was we just saw the blur no no no would you want to go find the actual i probably watch it i generally don't like to see scary things but that one i just like that is so fucking that really strikes me more but curiosity yeah it does me too if it was on tiktok

and the background music was like a b c you know like a fun song no no no no no no no no no no whatever that song is if it's like a fun dance outside of you know so it balances or someone just like where it's in the background and the person's head is like. Hearing that guy going, oh no, oh. I hate TikToks where they go over the. 15 seconds. The green screen, like they'll be showing a clip and they'll go like this. And then if they're like interrupting it

with their big stupid head, I hate those. But you like reactionary videos. That's a reactionary video. I mean, I just think that it's just, there's some things on TikTok that I don't understand why they're popular because they look such shit. What's annoying to me. Our technology is so good and some things look so,

like the ones that, even the woman's voice of like, I tried to trick my husband into thinking that I was an intruder. It's like, why don't you just say it? Yeah, also, it's really funny to be like, you're putting your head in an already very captivating video. Like, it's one thing to do reactionary video to a song or whatever, but like, you know, a guy's getting eaten by a shark,

and you're like, what? But they can never do it smoothly. They always come in like... It's never never like a smooth they don't ever go like hey i'm gonna make i'm gonna make this shark getting eaten about me and the camera's shaky like it just it boggles my i just don't understand well that person just bought a tesla that that that kind of um thing on no i don't know how to do it i mean it'd probably be very easy because everyone could do it but um yeah okay that was insane and i'm really really sorry but like i i want to i'm i'm interested in more details i mean there are some stories that i'm on the edge of my fucking seat about like what's gonna

happen next like i know that we're gonna find out who that guy was more about the story there's probably gonna be more footage that comes out i do though if i ever get eaten by a shark i want it to be in australia because i want when people say no for it to say no no no no no it sounds much more satisfying i love an australian no it's all you have to do to do an Australian no. The trick is you take the word annoy and you take off the first uh. And you just say no. No. No. No. No. Just say

no. No. No. No. No. And just do it more like no. No. No. No. No worries. No worries. It sounds like you're mocking my name. No. No. No worries. It sounds like you're mocking my name. Noah. Noah.

Noah. All right. Next news story, Noah. You did great on that one. Oh my God, that was so good. She even did a dramatization in her voice. I mean, it's... That was...

You know what, though? I'm always afraid you're going to cut me off, so I get afraid that I'm not getting through it in time. That's a good point. I probably would. But you're not going to cut off Noah. No. Noah doesn't

feel that what i felt no because i'm compelled to hear the end of the sentence you're like a 15 foot shark while i'm trying to read a fucking news i'm like no nikki no no no you're annoying me all right here we go go no kill it okay a girl who went missing more than two years ago at the age of four was found alive by police hidden underneath a staircase in a New York home. Oh, my God. That's the greatest. Wait, what? Detectives detectives removed several of the wooden steps in a basement. And that is when detectives saw a pair of tiny feet. After removing several more steps,

the child and her abductor were discovered within. The space was small, cold, and wet. Authorities believe she was taken by her non-custodial parents, and police had previously followed leads to the residence where she was ultimately found, but said that each time the residence had denied any knowledge of the girl's whereabouts. So they go go why would

they even take apart the staircase it was just because it needed like that the cops went over and were like we're gonna come back and fix with fix it oh so they they were looking for her and they had a feeling that it must have gotten yeah they must have gotten a lead that

there was something happening in the basement underneath the staircase oh my, my God. Where in New York? Is this in Manhattan? No, no, no. It's like somewhere. Like upstate New York. Jesus Christ.

I mean, I always think about that. that are, or, you know, men, but mostly women who are in some fucking psycho's chamber. Do you want to see what it looks like? It's kind of sad. Yes. Yeah. Oh, my God. We keep having visuals. Visuals.

Oh, my God. It's a crime podcast. I'd rather watch a shark attack again. There is a panda pillow that looks like it's crying. It looks like from south park or something and oh that's so sad and the captor was in there with her fucking disgusting everyone to fucking i want to kill i want to probably hold her to like be quiet yes yes oh my god that poor baby i wonder what the rent was in new york for there oh yeah i mean is there a shower in there um that that little staircase part that's got to be

at least 1200 a month well yeah with covid rules but yeah oh there's a little like girl's boot next to it oh my god imagine the guy getting the stairs picked up and he's like oh we just i'm just here like he's trying to still get out of it. Like it's the most obvious thing ever. Olly olly oxen free. Marco. Oh my God. Is there a pool? My grandpa used to do this thing where we would play hide and seek, and then he would never come look for us.

That's so fucked up. And my parents loved it. My parents would laugh so hard. And I knew there was something up about this game because my parents loved it my parents would laugh so hard and i knew there was something up about this game because my parents would go bob play hide and seek with the kids and they'd laugh and laugh and laugh and i didn't hide that long because i was on to them eventually but he would just have us go hide and then he'd never come find us and then you just stay like it's kind of genius it's like when i used to play doctor with kids I babysat for,

where I was like, you can just like, I'm a dead patient, and you have to operate on me, and then I get to take a nap. I just get to lay there while kids like. A light massage, yeah. Where I'm like, you're a knee surgeon, and they just like tinker on my knee. You're a masseuse. Yeah.

Yeah. How long was the longest you think you hid for before you really probably 10 minutes i mean kids attention spans are not that it just made i think i caught on quicker than i just knew something was up because my dad was laughing too hard did they ever do the uh you can't oh sorry go ahead no oh i was gonna ask if you had like a go-to spot i think i always picked closets and clothes and i would hide i would try to hide on top of something and then hide within the clothes oh but i i also have like i used to come up with ideas for because i was so obsessed with being kidnapped and like

someone breaking into my house and like someone and where i would hide. And I came up with an idea for under the bed, you would have a bed that is very high off the ground and it would have like a storage unit that you could hide in. So you go under the bed and then you climb up into a little recessed thing that hung down and you would be able to stay there and protect yourself from intruders.

And I used to think I'll make my bed after I get out of it to make it look protect yourself from intruders and i used to think i'll make my bed after i get out of it to make it look like no one was in it and then go under and i could sell these beds to make people feel safer this is your shark tank pit you're pitching as a child i came up with many inventions like this um also one where you have a long tube that you put your cigarette on so that you could smoke in the car with the kids, but your kids won't get a headache. And the cigarette would go out the window, and then you would suck it, and then you would have another tube

where you would blow out the smoke, and it would go out the car too. Did you ever think about just putting a smaller contraption on top of a scuba snorkel? No. I didn't. That could have worked. Did you ever do the thing where they go,

hey, I bet you can't get that in 20 seconds. Oh, yeah. You end up like, I mean, that works so well. You just make them run back and forth, run around to tire them. You can't divorce mom in 20 seconds. That's what my dad did to me. I got it done, too, in 18. Noah, what's our last news story?

Okay. All right. Mark Zuckerberg who is on a rebranding mission announced that employees at the social media giant will now refer to each other as MetaMates.

MetaMates. What is this, like a manatee? MetaMates. Because the metaverse. It's like Vegemite. MetaMates. MetaMates. What is this, like a manatee? MetaMates. Because the metaverse. It's like Vegemite. MetaMates. I mean, does he want us to like him ever? That is the... I just like someone that gets made fun of so much for being so lame. Why would you ever think that would make you...

You know who he is? He's David Koresh. If David Koresh had a billion dollars. Or a hundred billion. He has the same, but because he has so much money, everyone's just like, yeah, we're metamates. Money and power and a thought that you have.

I wonder if they thought it was cool, his employees. I wonder if they all kind of snickered to themselves. I don't know. We have besties that are like... You know what I mean? Well, we know that besties is... A thing that people have besties that are like you know i mean like is it well we know that besties is like a thing that people say besties all the time is eye rolly and it's just like

but i we kind of took that from that yes we took that from yeah maybe we it's ironic let's call our fans metamates from my god no no i can't metamates it's this was all over the um internet yesterday i read it so many places i didn't know what oh so it's a play off of oh yeah go ahead noah sorry i'm reading your line oh okay um the term is apparently a play on the naval inspired slogan used at instagram ship shipmates self i don't know what that means the word mates you never want to throw that into something The naval-inspired slogan used at Instagram, ship, shipmates, self. I don't know what that means. The word mates, you never want to throw that into something because mate, it just is like playmate. It's brilliant again, but yeah.

Mate. Hi, mate. Noi, mate. Met a mate. Yeah. He just wants control over people. That's all it's about, man. I love that Social Network movie, though.

It is great. He was good in that. he wasn't even in it but i liked i liked that movie so jesse eisenberg oh my god that movie is so good he's also so jesse eisenberg's great he plays that like weird kind of smart character i wonder if he's smart in real life or he's dumb i bet he is but mostly like most actors i bet he's dumb as shit. I bet he is. I bet he is. But most actors, I bet he's a little bit boring. He lives in Wisconsin and he loves stand-up, apparently. Really? Okay. Hi, Jesse.

Sorry, I thought you were boring. Comedy on State. He goes to all the time. I'm going to Wisconsin on my tour. I got a lot of dates coming up, by the way. Wisconsin. Where are we going? Austin. Jacksonville. Another place in Florida.

I kind of want to stay at the hotel where Bob... I think I'm playing the same venue that Bob played on the last night before he died. I don't know what I... For some reason, I want like stay at the same hotel is that weird of me yeah yeah it is right I mean I'm not there's something about like the like you know on reddit I follow like last images

like I just like to hear like the last thing this person did the last like Mike this I want to use the same mic he grabbed like I want to just like I don't know what it is I don't know what it is. I don't know. I mean, I'm sure he wouldn't be happy about that.

No, I think he, honestly, I think I reason everything every time I make a bobsag. Sometimes I'm like, I make jokes referencing what happened to him because it's, I think it's like, honestly, I think he would chuckle at it. And I think he would make the same joke if some other comedian died of the same stuff. And in the same breath he'd go, it's like honestly i think he would chuckle at it and i think he would make the same joke if some other comedian died for sure stuff and in the same breath he'd go it's horrible but also this is hilarious we make jokes because we're in pain let's go to break and come back again john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight

to your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapoport. And my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rappaport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention.

I am here to call it as I see it. And there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Here's a clip from one of my favorite episodes. You are not a real fighter. You will never be discussed anywhere in boxing history, ever, fake Paul. The movie is The Apprentice, and the movie is about young Donald Trump

and his apprentice, Roy Cohen, real character, obviously, both are real characters. It kind of has a Scarface vibe to it, which I thought was very interesting. Listen to the I Am Rap Report Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts. interview is with Mel Robbins. The theory is very simple. It is a mindset tool that instantly helps you identify what's in your control and what's not in your control. Renowned motivational speaker, bestselling author, Mel Robbins. Work has been seen as the number one cause of stress. How can the let them theory help?

As you notice the stress come up, Jay, you're simply going to say, let them. You have no idea right now how much time and energy is being wasted because of other people's behavior. It's like a death by a thousand cuts. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo. Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes

of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody. Every type of musical we enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements. Some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the people who were the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers.

But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations. Like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland. Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else,

so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model.

Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

No, that was a great job. Can I just say one thing? All our Metamates, besties out there. Don't you call them that. Okay. I know Noah's better than me. I don't need messages telling me. I know. Okay? Yes me I don't need messages telling me I know okay I don't need messages like that either

we are back from break Andrew does not need to hear that Noah's better we're gonna keep Noah in the news segment and it's not because she's better it's like we need more Noah in the show anyway she's better she's better

she organizes the news stories anyway for you to read so it's just We need more Noah in the show anyway. Yes. She's better. She's better. And she organizes the news stories anyway for you to read. So it's just, this is less work for you to do. And we have more, you can now react more. Oh, so I'm not even going to pick the stories anymore? I don't even think you need to. I trust Noah. Noah.

I've been picking the stories every morning though. Okay, Andrew picks the stories, but I kind of like you not knowing the stories and reacting with me. How about this, though? Noah might write one line that I still get to say in the news. Oh, I like that. And it could be the one with the biggest word with the most S's.

I don't hate that. Noah, you always give him the most S's sentence. All right, let's... I don't do it intentionally. Can we do, why do I care? Yes, I think you'll really like, why do I care? I have a feeling I will. Why do it intentionally can we do why do i care yes i think you'll really like why do i care i have a feeling i will i just why do i care why do i care um all right so this is from buzzfeed i i totally stole it uh it's time for you to figure out if

these quotes are from taylor swift or shakespeare um i'm gonna do it? Hit me, bitch. Yeah. I feel like if you don't get this right, you should lose your Taylor card. I will say, though, that I am not familiar with her first album, Taylor Swift. I do not have that one memorized.

And any Shakespeare. Yeah. So it's either Taylor Swift's first album or Shakespeare or Taylor Swift, the last eight albums. All right.

Let's go. I know Macbeth pretty well. I don't want to look either. No, I do. I know Macbeth, King Lear, and Romeo and Juliet. Yeah. That's pretty good. Shylock.

He was the jewel. All right. First one. Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you. Correct. Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you. Correct. Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you. I think it's Hamlet. Okay.

Pray in the fire I'll fall through. Okay, so it's Taylor. All right, next. Okay, next one. He wore a scarf on the old boat of the tugboat. You know what I mean? Whatever, it's something there. I couldn't even think of something.

Oh, the mighty sword has fallen into my chest. My blood exists. Oh my God. We should try to quote Shakespeare and try to get anything right. Okay. Noah, keep going. Okay.

Cowards die many times before their deaths. Shakespeare. Shakespeare. Correct. The only thing that I could think of that lyric would be in is the song Innocent, which is about Kanye. But she's actually forgiving him in that song. Okay, next one. Whether weather be the frost or the violence of the dog days.

Shakespeare. I don't know. No, it froze. No, it didn't know. Noah Frost. No, I didn't freeze. I'm waiting to see if you have an answer. I'm going to go with Taylor, actually, because I could tell by your expression that you were surprised Nikki didn't know it.

Damn. Yes. Taylor. Yeah. What albums are they on? Whether Be the Frost or the Violence of the Dog Days. It's got to be from a taylor swift song from the the album taylor swift uh yes let me just look that up because i thought you would

get it right oh my god be the frost wow i know taylor better than you it's from evermore what oh you know what it's from, is it from the lakes? Hold on. Be the frost tailor. I'm letting everyone down. It's from, oh, it's from the, oh, it's from Evermore. I really don't like that song. I'll stand by it.

It's from the song Evermore. I don't know that song. Shots fired. I just don't like Boney Bear. The shots are fired. It just sounds like this. It's just, he, I just, he bugs meoney Bear. The shots are firing. He just sounds like this. It's just he bugs me, his voice. Sorry.

Shots fired. Okay, next one. Shots fired. My castle crumbled overnight. Taylor. My castle crumbled overnight. Taylor. Call it what you want.

Call it what you want. Yep. Some of them, they're both, actually. I mean, I think maybe. Call it what you want. Yep. Some of them have, but they're both actually. I mean, I think maybe. Well, Romeo and Juliet. Yeah.

Okay, just have a couple more. This is the very ecstasy of love. That's gotta be Shakespeare. No, that's Taylor. Shakespeare. Okay,

fuck. Thank God. We're one, we're tied. Yeah, we are. This is the last one. Okay, no, there's two right. Fuck. Thank God. We're one. We're tied. Yeah, we are. This is the last one. Okay.

No, there's two more. Okay. Just twin fire signs for blue eyes. Taylor, blue eyes. Twin fire signs for blue eyes. Taylor. Yeah. Okay.

Last one. My crown, mine own own ambition and my queen that's shakespeare dude yeah it's gotta be shakesy yeah you're right oh yes all right that was fun thank you noah yeah that's a fun game i like that Taylor Swift action i kind of want to do something else too, where it's like, is it the wire or a Snoop dog album, you know, or like we could do them with like, that could be fun. I bet there's a lot of games like that online that we could just steal from Buzzfeed.

Yeah. Not do the work for. Yeah. Let's listen to another podcast, what they're doing. Yeah. I mean, that's what we did before.

Morbid. Morbid. Um, Oh, this is, this is the morbid girls talking about the shark attack. Ouch. No, you tell me the story and I'll react. So a man was brutally ripped to shreds in the bay off the coast of Sydney. People watched on and as his limbs

were torn from his torso and he cried in agony as no one came to his rescue. Was there any other like swimmers around or something? Yikes. Yowza. Boo boo. Yeesh. Oh my God. Bad day Monday.

Can we get the Morbid Girls on our show? Can we figure that out and have them tell us a story? I don't think they'll appreciate us making fun of the... Yeah, that's true. They do seem to take themselves dead seriously. Yes. But as they... I mean, ooh, pun intended.

Let's get to our Wild Wednesday, Wacky Wild Wednesday segment of the week. This time we're playing the Esther Perel board game, Where Should We Begin? Oh. And Noah owns it, and so she is going to pick a card, which is a topic of which we should tell a story that is related to pick a card which is a topic of which we should tell a story that is related to this

topic and then um she's going to pick the sentence structure for which we'll begin the story is that correct noah yeah there's a prompt card that uh sets the mood for the storytellers like the the lens that sets the mood and then the card, which is the opening phrase of the story. Got it. Love it. Let's do it. Okay. So the prompt card is taboo.

Okay. And then the sentence is, a mistake I'll never make again. Taboo means... Taboo means society labels it as like, oh my gosh, you shouldn't do that. A mistake I'll never make again is, I will say, a mistake I will never make again is is talking about my sex life in a way that implies someone else's experience by their name, that it, that talking about a taboo, I'll never, uh, a mistake I'll never make again is talking about my sex life in a way that someone else I'm, I'm, uh, I'm describing someone else's experience, which is not their own. So I can all, I, I, from now on, I'm I'm uh I'm describing someone else's experience which is not their own so I can all

I I from now on I'm only going to talk about my sex life in terms of like what I experience and not what and not implying that anyone else was there because that is kind of I've realized not fair to the person that you share it with that you are taking that from them of like what they experienced by me saying like i did this with blah blah blah that's to me i it's already taboo to talk about your sex life openly but i'm going to from now on that's been your whole like thing yeah but um i will do i won't do it but by someone's if i do do it it's going to be uh vague and not implicate anyone else in it by, by name, uh, from now on. So that's my story because I've just realized that I think that it's, it's,

it sucks because I'm someone who is obviously like very open about every fucking thing, especially stuff regarding sex. And sometimes the person like not everyone feels that way. Most people don't, aren't the same way regarding sex, their sex life. But the, the hard part is when you talk about your sex life openly,

you're always doing it with someone else if it's not masturbation. So you can't really talk about your sex life openly without including someone else. Unless you're cheating. Unless you're cheating, yeah. But there's a way to do it that I'm open to in which no one gets hurt. And I just want to in which no one gets hurt and I'm I'm trepidation I just want

to be more mindful of that that my experience is my experience and honestly what I describe of my sex life could maybe not be their experience at all or their motivation behind what we did or whatever like I could say oh we did this because of this you could also say you just did it five years ago yes I could And that's what I will do. I will not connect any stories I tell to any specific. Tell it in the future. Yeah. But it is weird.

Three years from now, I'll get this done to me. Yes. By a guy named Ricardo. Yes. It's going to be tough if I ever get married to be like, so, last week, me and some fucking dude.

A ghost fingered me. Yeah, a ghost. It's all going to be a ghost. I love that when you text. I just have to be a little bit, I just want to, as I get older, I think that,

when I think of taboo i think of comedy and like the things we talk about on stage are supposed to be taboo we're trying to challenge taboos because taboos are usually used to silence victims and to make it so like the cosby thing like women didn't speak out about what happened to them or like you know the catholic church makes sex such a dirty thing yeah and so if something dirty happens to you as a child you're told that like if you there was a girl the other day on reddit i read about and she was a filipino girl and she english was her second language she's 14 and she said it was on true off my chest a subreddit and it was like my dad i lost my virginity my dad he raped me and

i don't know what to do she's 14 she's trying to process it english is her second language she's like telling the whole story and she said that most of her complaint was not like my dad my dad did this is that he he made me so i'm not a virgin anymore and because she's catholic being a virgin is so important and she is ruined not because she is ruined. Not because she was just sad and upset of the fact that she's ruined now. And she didn't want to tell anyone because she didn't want to be ruined. Because sex is so, you're supposed to be pure.

So victims can't report because they are made to feel that anything they engage in sexually is, first of all abusers are are banking on children feeling like sex is dirty and if they admit it that they're going to be at fault and they already feel like they are at fault because it feels like they did something to get this so abusers get to like run wild if we keep making sex taboo it's it's part of the problem it's not the whole problem if you're not talking about the problem if we're saying that sex is this dirty thing

I can still talk about my sex life openly and I want to keep doing that because I want to encourage people to talk about their own sex lives openly and not make it this thing that's dirty because it isn't when it's done right it's nothing to be ashamed of

or even when it's done wrong it's not you're not dirty no there's nothing wrong about anything sexually what do you mean done wrong yes there is if your fucking father takes you not dirty no there's nothing wrong about anything sexually what do you mean yes there is if your fucking father takes your virginity yes there's nothing wrong yes yes there's nothing wrong about it but when things are when sex that which is a beautiful thing which is the reason we all exist when that is tabooized whatever the word is tabooized yeah when that is uh florided that was to call back i was

when it's florided um that means that when bad things do happen to you you feel like even if even if this was a good thing i couldn't talk about it so certainly when it's something that's bad i definitely can't talk about it and people always call i've comments in my, when I used to read my subreddit where people are like, Nikki always says the thing about, oh, she can joke about molestation because, you know, even though she hasn't been molested because it, it makes, you know, it just makes the conversation about molestation. It makes it like, let's just talk about being molested. It's a thing that happens all the time, but it is, and people go, oh, that's just such an excuse. So she can get away with doing the joke she wants no it is not an excuse it actually

these things talking about being molested and being able to say people are here are more molested i wasn't molested but it's a thing that i avoided just by being lucky it wasn't because i did anything right or my parents did anything right thus thus telling you if you were molested it's just you were unlucky in that way it wasn't your fault trying to alleviate guilt on the victims me making jokes

about molestation is me bringing up a thing because I want to talk about it because if you don't talk about it the people that do it keep winning and the people that

were molested can't talk about it because they've been shamed to not talk about it because it's so awkward if you tell us you're molested that's really

keep that to yourself just only tell a therapist about that why what if you can't afford a therapist then you keep it inside and guess who gets to keep molesting the molesters because if unless unless people can say i was raped i was molested that guy did something weird to me that made me feel uncomfortable they're gonna keep doing it and that's not me telling victims like oh if you don't speak up you're creating more victims i'm not saying that i'm just saying we need to make it more comfortable to say i was victimized and and by doing that sometimes joking about subjects makes them more palatable to talk about in any way that's my point um where should you begin with your sentence i don't even know what

taboo taboo and then you start it with a mistake I'll never make again. A mistake I'll never make again is driving after drinking. And I one time drove over a bridge the wrong way. And then it was in Palm Beach, which is a bridge where there's definitely a lot of cops all the time. And I drove over the bridge and I got halfway over and I realized I was going the wrong way. So I paused on top of the bridge and I go, do I, whatever.

You watch too many videos. You pause and you meditated for a moment. Pausing is always related with take up. Pause. What do I say? I stopped. You stopped. Yeah. You stopped. But pause is just a funny, you could say pause. What do I say? I stopped. I break.

Yeah, you stopped. But pause is just a funny, you could say pause. I was just, it's just a funny word. It's funny. So I paused and I pondered and then I break. Yeah. And then I stopped. And I was like, do I reverse?

Did you floor it in? Do I reverse back? Or do I go forward and then try to make a U-turn? Because it was such, there was no way to turn around. Yes. Oh, my God. I'm guessing you just went forward. I reversed. You reversed.

All the way back down the bridge. Oh, my God. Drunk. Hammered. Dude, I mean, thanks for sharing that because saying that you drove drunk in the past is so taboo. People won't admit it. And then when you get caught, when someone gets

a fucking DUI, everyone's like, oh my god, can you believe that? You drove drunk that night, you fucking asshole. Everyone has done it. Or you've been in a car where someone was driving drunk and you knew they were drunk. Or you've been in a plane where the pilot was drunk just because you flew Southwest. I'm just kidding.

You're trying to save a buck. No. I just think that I will say that if you drink out there if you're someone who if you're someone out there who has driven drunk or it's totally okay

forgive yourself for it you're not a bad person because obviously when you drink it makes you do things that are really stupid and if you're someone who's like you're not a bad person because obviously when you drink it makes you do things that are really stupid and if you're someone who's like you're not a bad person nikki you're saying that people that drunk drive aren't bad people i don't think that most people want to hurt other people when they get into a car drunk when you're this is the thing about drinking and i hate to go back to this because some of you are probably like i don't want to hear any more about your fucking

proselytizing about not drinking i don't care care what you do. I'm telling you, if you still drink, enjoy yourself, use Uber. But when people say, I'm just going to have one drink or I'm not going to drive drunk and you start drinking, you forget that you got, you're getting the person who said that drunk. So you don't, you're there. We've all done the thing where we go i'm just gonna have two drinks that person could only have two drinks that you are when you say that when you have no drinks in you but when two drink you oh yeah two drink you just go i'll just have what's the best way to get

someone to hang out just have a couple drinks you know they're gonna bill cosby have bill cosby would give women drinks knowing that they were going to get into a state where they would they would wouldn't be able to say no. He obviously expedited that by drugging their drinks. But alcohol is a drug that makes you stupider. So you have to remember that your smart self doesn't want to drunk drive, but you get drunk and you get stupid. If you had a person who was very severely mentally handicapped with a driver's license,

would you trust them to use their best judgment not to drive? Because that's what you're making. When you get super drunk, you turn into a person who is very mentally disabled. You're the same. Or you turn into a baby essentially. So I just say to people who the biggest freedom for me when I quit drinking was that when I get pulled over now, I almost, and also quitting smoking pot because I did used to drive a little bit when I was- Give me a sobriety test. I used to get, I swear to God, I would get excited when I got pulled over because it was this new freedom that I know I'm not guilty.

And when I get pulled over by the TSA now, there is, I haven't smoked pot since August, there is a freedom in knowing that they're not gonna find anything. And if they do, it's an old thing from back when I like put a pot pen in a pocket. Pot pen pocket. Final thought, I can't tell you how great it is when you finally free yourself from things and you never

have to worry about it again and I'm extending this to I used to be addicted to gum I think it's the thing I talked about on here a little bit when I got into recovery for my eating disorder oh you're such a gum head I tried it oh my god I stopped so the first thing I did a lot of you wrote me the other day with the capitalized eating disorder help. And I gave you, um, what I did to get help. And obviously my, I'm not perfect. And a lot of people have actually written to me saying, Hey, what you said today on the podcast really triggered me and made me feel like I needed to start dieting because you mentioned this thing. And I was like, holy shit, thank you for saying that. Because my, my recovery is not like a straight line. It is like some days I'm not good. Some days I'm great,

but at least I know where to return to. And it takes those kinds of messages to remind me like, Hey, I've been putting out some stuff and some thoughts. I've been having some negative thoughts that are trying to get me back into that thinking of wanting to starve, wanting to being obsessed with not being fat, whatever the fuck it is.

Cause I think it's going to bring me happiness. And I've relied on besties to like, keep me in check on that and i i really appreciated their honesty and being like i love you but hey i just want to be honest with you the thing you said really upset me i love that and it's just because i can take any criticism if it's laced with i love you and i'm and i it doesn't even have to be like there's a way to criticize without being like i can't believe she did this. If it comes from love, you're allowed to get mad at me. If it comes from hate, that's a different thing.

And I'm not open to really accepting things that are based in hate because it just tells me that you probably are struggling with something. This has nothing to do with me. On that post I did on Instagram today, some guy just wrote decent. And I blocked. I go, I don't need that in my life. Like that decent. First of all, yeah, so funny. Some guy just wrote decent and I blocked. I go, I don't need that in my life. Like that decent.

First of all, it was so funny. That's the actually. It was so funny. I love reading the comments because everyone's like, holy, like how funny it was. It was so funny.

But the first comment I got, this guy just wrote decent and I go, you're done with my life. You're out of my life. Yeah, you're out. Like that decent, it's worse than like.

Well, that's a great boundary because you're not going back at him. You're not fucking engaging at him you're not fucking engaging with this you don't you don't get and he'll write me

he'll go I just wrote decent I go there's so much behind decent I have to say though there is something that that guy could do to get you a follow back

listen dude I wrote decent and I know how fucking shitty that was and it's because I'm jealous of how funny you are and I I've been jealous of how funny you are and i i've been

jealous of how funny you are before andrew and bit made you feel insecure about like my my comment today was not being jealous of how i was just going back to like my old thing it was so funny i reposted on my instagram it was so funny um i had to go between like it me writing is this really funny or me writing a joke about it so but there have been times where i've been jealous of how funny you are and there's something in me that wants to like make you feel bad about it so that you don't because i'm because i hate myself for not being as funny as you and that's where that decent thing came from yeah now if that guy's able to say that he could follow you again what a beautiful realization he could you would totally unblock him also here's the thing if you think it's decent i don't't give a fuck. Just don't tell him.

Like, why are you writing it? I guarantee you he's jealous. I get it. I get that. But I'm just saying, like, you think it's decent and, oh, you can't handle criticism while you're putting it out in public. No, guess what? I don't want it.

I can't handle criticism. I don't really want it. You know, what's wrong with saying I can't handle criticism? Nothing. When I say that I can't handle sugar, people, why is, I just know myself. Criticism makes me crazy. I know there are people that can't handle it. I know a stronger person might be able to.

I can't. Look, I'm afraid of STDs. Yeah. But what I really want to say is I'm afraid of criticism. Being, honestly,

being honest with what you can and can't handle and not being ashamed of being scared of heights, not being ashamed of reading comments about yourself. Not being ashamed of being triggered by skinny women on Instagram and having to block them. I have to do that sometimes because for my mental sanity, that's what's going to protect me. And I'm not ashamed to say it. Man up. Man up and then fucking take the comments.

It's like, why? Why? So I used to be addicted to gum. And so when I tell you that quitting drinking has freed me from ever worrying about DUIs, that is one of the, quitting drinking freed me from worrying about DUIs. And also if I don't remember someone that I meet and they go, oh, we met before.

You don't remember? I go, I did this as a joke, but I go, not drinking is the best thing because when I meet someone now and they go, oh, we've already met. I go, was it before 2011? That's when I quit drinking. And they go, oh, we've already met. I go, was it before 2011? That's when I quit drinking. And they go, no, it was 2013.

I go, well, that's on you. That's not my fault. I can just say I have a bad memory now or you didn't stand out. You need to get a better personality for me to remember you. Because I always used to feel so guilty about being blackout drunk all the time. And I used to make excuses about it. I used to pretend I remembered it. My dad had covid did you know that at one point oh you just remembered yeah i just wanted to say that my dad had covid in the fall um totally non-sequitur it's not enough

yeah it's a non-sequitur but i just know that i have to i just wanted to say i have to say you guys don't understand it's a long story listen met Listen, MetaMates. MetaMates, I know you're confused that I just said that, but just know that it's just a fact that my dad had COVID in the fall, and I just want to say that. There's nothing wrong with having COVID. That's another thing. I mean, this actually connects us perfectly.

Herpes, like all that stuff. People are so ashamed to say they had COVID. They can say it now where like I had it, but when they are currently going through it, it's like bed bugs. It's like this shame, like guess guess what you're no different than you and people always want to go where did you get where did i get it how did you get it how did who could i blame for giving this to me and guess what it doesn't fucking matter we're all doing things where we could get covet any

fucking time it doesn't matter how you got it you got it and we're all you you're not you're not worse you're not grosser than anyone else you're not more reckless than anyone else uh for the most part you know there are certain extenuating circumstances if you're someone that at the this whole time has been going to a club and grinding on people and millions of people and you're sweating that's on you but if you're living your life and you're going to the supermarket it's like manhunt for who gave who covid whose fault is it? Guess what? It's a lab in China's fault or whatever you want to believe. No, it's Jeff Bezos. You can trace it

all the way back. It's like therapy. It's your parents' fault for how you act the way you are. Well, it's their parents' fault. Well, then it's their parents' fault. It's like you go on and on and it's just like it doesn't matter. You got it. You didn't want to get it. It's not your fault that you got it. It doesn't make you a bad person. Is thatlor swift or shakespeare i just want to finish my

thought about the gum thing it was a great ham trip i want to just say because i had so many people write to me about the eating disorder rant i went on the other day and it seemed to really help some people is that when you quit drinking you free yourself from all these things that you didn't know it doesn't only just it's not only like you're not getting drunk and you feel like shit you just like you don't have to worry about these things that you don't realize you worry about in the in the wake of it do you have any of those with drinking andrew yeah i mean it's the list is longer than just remembering everything you do is kind of a cool thing that is my biggest thing was new york mornings on sunday morning yeah now you get to

enjoy them and you know i enjoy my mornings more than my but it is true like there's something about there's nothing better than 11 a.m eating brunch and seeing hungover people and you're smiling ear to ear taking everything in yeah i don't feel good about that but it's i always feel bad with people that i get hungover i talked to to one yesterday and I go, because I used to have a joke about it, and it's true. Being hung over is the worst because you feel like absolute hell and no one feels sorry for you. And the best part about being sick- Where you get the alcohol. Exactly. It's your fault. And people should feel sorry. I feel sorry for you. If you're hung over,

write me and I'll go, you poor baby. Treat yourself well today. I will not blame you because it isn't your fault that you feel sick even though you drank a bunch. That's not your fault. You're struggling. And write me that because then I'll enjoy my Sunday more in the sun. But anyway, I will say that when I quit gum, I didn't realize a huge thing that was constantly on my mind because I was addicted to gum and I was ashamed of my addiction. So I would always try to hide how often I was putting in new pieces. I would go through like three packs of gum a day and it's like cigarettes. I was up to sometimes five on really bad days where I was putting in new pieces, I would just, I would, I would go through like three packs of gum a day and it's like cigarettes. You know, I was up to sometimes five, like on really bad days where I was trying not to eat and I was just obsessively chewing gum. I got sores in my mouth.

I mean, my life was hell with gum, but one of the biggest things was gum. If there's not a trash can around, you have to like, you spit, you don't swallow it. You have to spit it out, put it in a little wrapper and then put it in a pocket or put it in your purse. My life was constantly gum being in pockets and ruining my laundry gum being in pockets of things where, um, people would like go to look for something and they'd be like, why are there 30 little gum wrappers? And it was so embarrassing. My life was constantly mitigating against people discovering my addiction and getting rid of gum wrappers and storing them up until there were so many and like just gum being everywhere. And it made me feel gross. And I didn't realize in quitting gum that I would never, people, when people were like,

Hey, um, I can go get that for you, Nikki. I'll, I used to go, no, bring me my purse because they could not go in there because they would see my gum addiction. Now I go, yeah, go get in my purse. There's nothing to hide. It's a beautiful life it's like my mom was cigarette or like goes back to your mom with cigarettes like both our moms quit cigarettes mine unfortunately not till later but like fucking secrets everywhere with food in my life rappers uh just half-eaten things uh throw up in the toilet so many things i was hiding from like someone like you someone like noah like my best friends i wouldn't let them see that side of me and they would see it but they things, throw up in the toilet. So many things I was hiding from someone like you, someone like Noah. My best friends, I wouldn't let them see that side of me. And they would see it,

but they wouldn't talk about seeing it. And it's just so free that you could go in my room and go in any drawer, anything. That's why I created that game where we go in each other's rooms because that's the first time in my life since March of 2020 when I got recovered from eating disorder that I have nothing to hide. It's the first time and it's a beautiful thing. And, um, so I encourage all of you to, to seek that kind of freedom in your life because it,

it took me until I was 35 to do it. So, uh, it's never too late. All right. Thank you so much for listening. Don't be good. And Jack,

Russell carrier. I think I did that one before, but I'll allow it. John Stewart is back at the daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics

entertainment, sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid.

Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To

expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Quartz Love. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme.

Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts.