The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #182 The Same Esophagus

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

This episode takes many twists and turns, as Nikki and Andrew start by discussing the oldest man, the pyramids, pickles, Tyson Fury's mental health and an experiment that no one needed. Nikki has a lot of questions that stem from a celebrity dispute. You Heard It Here First, props on sets are not fake, anal condoms are now legit and why a breathalyzer on a phone is a great idea. Besties from around the globe leave messages for the Fanthrax segment. In the Final Thought, Nikki expresses her gratitude and helps Andrew find fake retro band shirts. Andrew correctly reminds her it's a "ham drip" before Nikki gives a riveting teaser for next week's episodes. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Here's Nikki. Hello. Here I am. Ew, I have a bubble in my throat. I hate that so much. What do you mean? Like a burp? Like, you know what?

It's like froggy. Like, you just, you get a little bit of a bubble in your throat you know what i'm talking about right i don't know when someone is talking and they keep talking and it's just like oh yeah get it out get it out and you're just like you can stop talking and just swallow right so what are you gonna do if you go back and listen i go hey or i go here i am and it's like it was just like there was was a little bit of a filter on it. Not a frog, you know. A little gargle.

Yeah, there's a bubble in my throat. It's got to be a bubble. I really do think that's a scientific report. It makes me think of pig vomit. What's that? From Howard Stern. W-N-B-C. That's it.

W-N-B-C. Yes. Colt Giamatti wasn't that was like he got that role yeah he do you know any other fun facts about there's some like there's a lot of interesting things about that movie and that role i remember him going on stern talking about it but now i can't remember any of them i think howard really got a boner in the bathtub with the redhead what which led to his real divorce there's that scene yeah where he boner in the bathtub with the redhead. What? Which led to his real divorce. Oh, basically there's that scene, yeah, where he's like in the, he's like, was he just like on the precipice of cheating?

Yes. Was that what happened? Where she was, yeah, that must have been so hard for him. And then Fred stayed in the hot, in the bathtub. That's right. That's right. And he had his add-ons still, I think. I just remember getting so titillated by that scene where he the girl's like

on the speaker oh my god yeah yeah that was so hot it was i didn't even know what it meant or what it yeah i want i want to hear the actual real episode of that you know i mean the actual one is just her being like yeah i don't even really feel it it's not just being like right there wait no or um yeah no that's good that's that's good i want you to turn the power all the way no it's over there yeah yeah yeah yeah it was so hot it really was hot it was a good one you've been sending me tiktoks recently because i've asked you kind of like the way that i go through Reddit and save the posts that I like that I want to follow up and like share with people later because it's really hard to send people Reddits yeah because it has to like the app has to pop up but I don't go on on TikTok at all

and so sometimes you'll tell me about a TikTok you'll be like did you see the oldest man ever dude people know at home if you haven't typed in man well he showed up in ashtrays man made of gray wood he's like you know logs after they've already ash like logs yeah that would um that man who's sitting straight up who has better posture than i'll ever dream of having he looks like a turtle without a shell that died 40 decades ago. He looks like what happens when you open a sarcophagus and what's inside. Do you know that you can pay the Egyptian government like millions of dollars to open, um, sarcophagi that have never been opened, but you have to give whatever's inside to the Egyptian government.

But you can be the first one to open this thing that hasn't been opened in I don't know how many years. I was about to say how many years, and I don't really know, buddy. Hey, look, it's been a while. Okay, if you had to guess how many years ago Egyptians were, like, the pyramids were built, what, it just,

let's just show how dumb we are, all of us i'm gonna say a million i'm just kidding no who are you jen i was going i was doing that but i like how you go no like it's possible um uh i don't even know if it's bc or ad to be, I think it's BC for sure. I'd say like 300, 400 BC. I'm going to say, yeah, I'll go with 1500 BC just to mix it up. Okay. So that's going to put us at three and a half thousand years ago. All right.

So what are we? Whatever we're at. Yeah. Three and a half thousand years ago. Some peseta. Plus some. Noah, what are you saying? I was going to say like 500 BC.

Okay. All right. I don't know if we're that far off but if it ends up being like let's see okay hold on 1986 when were the pyramids built oh whoa yes 2700 bc until around700 BC. I was off by 200 years. Yeah, and Bob Barker land, you won for sure. Hell yeah. Okay, thank God. Here's the thing. I love that word. They're like, you can open the casket.

They're probably just throwing the shit back in there. It's probably the same esophagus every time or whatever. Esophagus? I wasn't even trying that word. I don't know why I remember that word. Also, I remember the word for, so when they took out the mummy's organs, they would put them in these other jars called.

Pickle? Whatever they called. I learned like, you know, in fourth grade, you learn all about mummification and all these words. And I think maybe those were the sarcophaguses and maybe the bigger thing. Canopic. Oh yeah. Canopic jars.

Canopic. Thank you, Noah. It's interesting how Noah said it. Noah said it like pickle. Canopic. She said it like it was a feature of a villa I'd stay at in Bali. And we have the canop in the pool.

You got pickles yesterday. Pickles is an interesting. Can of pickles. They really just sit in the water there, you know? Pickles. Got pickles. Man, I've been craving pickles. And people always go, you're pregnant.

Sometimes you just want some pickles. I ate a jar and a half of pickles yesterday. Just in one sitting. No problem. They got electrolytes in them. They're healthy. They got electrolytes? I think they're probably like Diet Cokes. They make you think you're hydrating, but you're probably, they're salty as hell. I'm thinking they're draining you out. From what I've not read, pickle juice is like Gatorade of the sea. No. I mean, maybe, yeah, maybe it does give you electrolytes,

but I feel like Gatorade even doesn't hydrate as much as it says it does because it has salt in it. Sometimes you need salt, though. Yeah. Maybe that. So a friend of mine who's a nurse, she once told me, she's like, if you're craving something,

it means that your body is low on something. So just eat what you're craving because your body that's what i do maybe you just need a cock in your mouth whenever i think about i like those baby dills though so i don't know what that says about me whenever i am craving those are disgusting by the way i hate those things the little bumps it's like the opposite of that. What are you talking about? Thermophobia or whatever you hate. What little bumps? On little pickles.

Not a fan. Of them touching your lips? Just looking at them. Oh, looking at them. Because they look like a frog skin. Yeah, the skin. They're all little bumps. Yeah.

I like it. All right. I want one that has a lot of that skin because it means it's not like you're not gonna bite it it's not gonna be like those big wet pickles they sell in delis and those jars those giant ones those gross me out so much they're mostly

water they're all gushy inside I want a crisp baby dill baby dills are the best oh my gosh yeah they're so good check out that old man though by the way oh yeah well the old man showed up for me on reddit yesterday really he's everywhere and on tiktok his age is said at what i think 135 his age is 109 okay reddit gives you that like that's like that's a big difference 135 is not an age that humans are living to.

Or 109. I mean, yes, I get it. I think the older you get, a year seems like a very long time. To get to 110 from 109 is like us getting to 70. It's like the difference between a 9-year-old and a 35-year-old. Yes. If a 9-year-old died, you'd be like, that's the most tragic thing ever. If a 35-year-old died, very tragic, not as tragic as a nine-year-old died you'd be like that's the most tragic thing ever if a 35 year old died very tragic not as tragic as a nine-year-old and 109 not tragic at all because

he should have been dead 30 years ago but at that man you get you get up to 109 you go can you just go one more man like i was looking at that man standing on like sitting on his bed all upright looking like a old gray turtle and i was thinking man just lay down let's keep this going you can make it's like the final mile in a marathon like get to 110 you know get that second digit up to one i mean it's got to be ridiculous that i wake up every morning and go i guess i'll just lay here and think about not dying i read a quote in the yeah in the Reddit thread that was talking about aging and stuff like that.

And it said something to the effect of, it hurts more and more every day until it doesn't anymore. Jesus. That's what age is. Do you remember from the Chelsea Handler book, someone once explained to her why as you get older, time feels like way shorter than it does than when you're a kid.

Because it's you have lived more, so it's a smaller fraction of your life. Right. And when you're a kid, one year when you're nine is one ninth of your life. When you're 35, one year of your life is one thirty-fifth. Thus, less important. That is such simple math. I mean, do you remember? That would make sense,

but until you say it like that, you're like, oh, okay. That checks out. Like the idea, I remember going to like summer camp for two months and be like eight weeks. Oh, it's...

You know, we've been here... Summer camp... We came here for seven weeks. Summer break. We're here for as long as camp would have been. I mean, you're talking about one specific camp. Not all camps for seven weeks. We're here for as long as camp would have been. I mean, you're talking about one specific camp. Not all camps were seven weeks, man. Okay, but take any camp.

Two-week camp. Four-week camp. It seemed very long. Because you haven't been away from your family also. I mean, being here for seven weeks is so long. And I like it, though, because you start living here. Like, I've lived here. Yeah, you're just like one with the people now. Oh, i'm so my dad yesterday i was talking to him he's like oh we're jealous of

you you got nice weather it's 19 degrees here and i was like would it make you feel better or worse that i haven't been outside today since 2 p.m and i'm not planning on i will not go out and i live in a basement of a hotel and I barely see the sunlight and when I do, I am mad about it because it makes me, it reminds me that I'm not doing anything.

this room's great for you. I think it's actually causing my depression. It's a bad room. I would love, there's just no sunlight. I'm saying that now you have like an excuse,

you have a scapegoat. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I sent you another TikTok of Tyson Fury who's a boxer. Send me a couple. You have a scapegoat. Yeah. Yeah. I sent you another tick tock of Tyson Fury. He's a boxer. He's six foot ten. Yeah.

Monster. Gypsy. Gypsy. Yeah. He comes from a gypsy family. Like they lived in like caravans like straight up. And he's a heavyweight champion of the world. Yeah.

And he won the world championship. And then literally the next day felt like he won nothing like he reached a peak and then he gained about 200 pounds and was about to commit suicide driving like his ferrari off a bridge and stopped himself the next day he gained a 200 pounds no no no like the next year he gained like 200 pounds okay so then because he was like there's nothing more to yeah there's nothing more to accomplish right and then he you know he fucking almost died that was his rock bottom lost 100 pounds won the championship again like or like you know won another belt and you sent me this tiktok where he's like so his whole thing's mental

health like that's all he cares about. Yeah, but he does it in the most manly way possible, which I think that's how we need to do shit with guys. I think you got to go to a therapist who's fucking just being... Listening to Megadeth, doing power cleans. Why can't men just... Listen to this. Oh, are you okay?

It's all ego. Everyone just can't... But if it gets in it gets in i think i think it's true but it just sucks that we have to like sneak it in like you guys are dumb babies or something like we have to like make everything so palatable for you so that it's comfortable but i get it because you're raised to like i just saw this other thing on reddit of this commercial in some country that isn't ours i'm not not going to even say which one it was. I think it was in India or Pakistan.

It was about men abusing their wives, and it says the whole thing is like a little, it was really well done. It's like a baby, a little boy crying, and they go, boys don't cry. And then it's like a little older of a boy crying. Boys don't cry, whole time. Boys don't cry, and then you get to the end, and there's this guy that's not crying,

and he just looks like – it almost looks like they didn't even want to fake male aggression, so they chose a CGI footage of – this guy looks insane, but he's just like – looks like he wants to cry, but he's not. And then it zooms out, and he's standing over his wife, who's all bloodied and beaten, and just like, and it's like if we don't let them cry this is what happens and it's like kind of sweet because i was i said about it i was kind of talking about yesterday after i got done reading about them tossing squirrels in the air on in the new yorker i read about this this was so

weird because i remember reading the headline ages ago being like i don't even want to read that it makes me so sad but there was a in the um 80s there was a what what a german state-funded study that put foster boys into the homes of pedophiles what the hell on purpose sought out pedophiles yes to test them what do you it because when i read that i go how on earth could that ever be a good idea and it's wild why they thought it was i'm thinking it's it's fucking wild and it honestly has to do with exactly what i was just talking about, about that commercial. Try to take a stab at why. I'm saying. What is it? I said it.

Rehabilitation. What do you mean? Like, I'm a pedophile. I get out of jail. What's the best way to, it's like exposure therapy. It's like, oh, I'm afraid of coffee or I love coffee too much.

I'm going to put coffee around you to like get used to it. So then you don't. Oh, so it's for the pedophiles to be rehabilitated and to be like, don't do this. coffee or i love coffee too much i'm gonna put coffee around you to like get used to it so then you don't oh so it's for the pedophiles to be rehabilitated and to be like don't do this yeah that's not it because thankfully they understood that pedophiles be pedophile and no matter what you do and you can't really that's not like a thing that you can really control unfortunately control, unfortunately. They did it because after Germany lost the war and were humiliated by what they had done during the Holocaust, and there was this backlash of what made so many of us turn into Nazis. We need to do the opposite of Auschwitz. We can't have another Auschwitz. We

can't have people in our society brainwashed into thinking that was a good idea what caused that and so they got into this whole idea of now these children that we have to raise there are German children have to be very soft and like emotional and we think that a big they they looked at like the way children were raised when these guards essentially were children what was going on in the culture and what was going on was uh don't don't be kind to children and and uh repress sexuality anything to do with sexuality is the worst so they thought that the repression of sexuality for children was what led them to be nazis and to commit horrific war crimes and you know human it's like when you like date

and so yeah they decided that there was this whole sub-genre of uh child rearing that came up that said children need to be children need to be sexualized and they need to grow up in sexual environments. And that the best way for them to do that is to have men develop relationships with it. And they used to think that it was consensual. And these were all pedophile doctors that convinced other doctors that this was the right thing to do and so there are men there are people just a little bit older than us that were that were raised in the 80s as children just like a decade older than us that were put into foster homes they were children that lost their parents from tragic situations and then they were put in these homes with pedophiles and raised and

abused their entire lives and are now like coping with the fact that the that germany financed it and uh and that they were studied every week to see how this was like affecting them and it's the worst thing i've it was one of the worst things i've ever read and what they did find was that in the end these pedophile doctors because they're doctors and they were did find was that in the end these pedophile doctors because they're doctors and they were analyzing what was happening realized they actually thought that these relationships were consensual and that they weren't doing any because children are not necessarily sometimes it might not look like you're forcing a child to do the things that you're trying to

get the child to do because it's more mental manipulation and you're not holding them down per se in some scenarios and that you're just crawling into bed. But whatever, I'm sorry to talk about this, but they convinced themselves that these doctors convinced themselves it was mutual. And then it's wild because at the end, these pedophile doctors go,

our findings suggest that there's a power imbalance and that even though force is not applied it's not consensual and it's like and it's just so sad to see the like the effects of uh the child sexual abuse it's so fucking bad it's just it's just worse than you can it's just it's you know If you avoided it in your life, you're such a fucking lucky kid if you avoided it. And if you didn't avoid it,

I'm so sorry. And you're so much stronger than I'll ever be. The idea of doing the opposite, whoever thought that was... Isn't that wild? It's like if you... I mean, it's not like anything,

to be honest. It's so fucked up. What was permeating culture back then when we made a bunch of Nazis? Oh, we really repressed sex. What's... More up. What was permeating culture back then when we made a bunch of Nazis? Oh, we really repressed sex. What's... More sex. Women aren't really

going to be sexual with children. Do you know who will? Creepy men. Probably ex-fucking Nazis. Honestly, it's so fucked up. Okay, let's get to the...

Let's take a break after that and go take some showers alone. I don't know if that was a good word to use, Nikki. I want to just cleanse ourselves. Really, Auschwitz?

Really, Nikki? Oh, my God. Also not a good word. I was actually trying to dance around. Wow, showers fired. I was trying to dance around the mall station. Oh, you danced all right. You fucking danced all over me and Noah's soul,

our Jewish souls. You made my grandma dance in Auschwitz. Yeah. Andrew! I'm not coming. I don't know what's going on in here. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

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Snakes, zombies, public speaking. The list of fears is endless. But the real danger is in your hand when you're behind the wheel. Distracted driving is what's really scary and even deadly. Eyes forward. Don't drive distracted. Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council. We're back i want to address the tyson fury thing that you sent me though yeah because what did he say well i sent it to you he said i'm a motherfucking spartan yeah pretty much i mean i could play it let's see i can just i can just say it you know

by heart yeah he said on the drive over let me see heart? Yeah. He said on the drive over. Let me see if I can get it right. On the drive over here. Wait a second. I'll play. I'm going to read the subtitles. And let me see if I get it right. By the way, we don't go to the news when I come in yet.

Do we? No. This isn't the news. Not yet. You have a few minutes. Usually you go, we're going to the news. And then you call me in. And then we do a segment. And then we do the news. It's sloppy over here. But generally, we have a few minutes. Usually, you go, we're going to the news, and then you call me in, and then we do a segment, and then we do the news.

It's sloppy over here, but generally, we do a little conversation. We bring you in. We have a little more conversation, then we do the news. That's generally how it goes. I'm not stepping on your grave like you didn't know me and Noah's. Yeah, you almost landed that one. Okay. Tyson Fury is sitting there at a press conference, and he's like, I was driving over here.

On the way here, I got a call. They offered me millions of dollars to promote a gambling company. And I said no. I turned down millions of dollars. Because I don't promote drugs, I don't promote alcohol, and I don't promote alcohol and i don't promote gambling those all three promote mental health unwellness that leads to suicide and i will not ever promote anything that leads to mental health unwellness spartan fever life forever i mean take a shower you fucking nailed it i forgot about the car ride over so i was like i don't think she's getting it and boy did you fucking nailed it i forgot about the car ride over so i was like i don't think she's getting it

and boy did you fucking you have a fucking memory on you girl thanks it's really wild like when we're on uh perfect strangers too it's fucking crazy like because we'll go over lines you're like i got it and then it'll be like a line that's like seven from where we started. And you just fucking. Seven lines? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Not seven lines.

When it comes to jokes. Yeah, I know. When it comes to jokes, I just. That's always been my way of doing it on stage. I've never write anything down. So when I say it a funny way, it just stamps in my head. And I can just read it. I say it one time the way I want to say it

and I go, got it. And I can just say it that way again. Okay, wait, what does it say? So Tyson Fury, I mean, no, you fucking... It's the whole thing. Yeah, that's what he's saying. The beauty of this to me is, and you were touching on it,

the millions of... Like, it's bragging. It's bragging. It's essential to his point. I know. So I don't... It's not bragging. When something is essential to a point, it's not bragging when something is essential to a point.

It's not bringing, I got into this. I was thinking about this the other day. Someone was saying, did you read the whole Rosie O'Donnell thing with Priyanka Chopra? Oh no. She has a new thing now. She always comes in the news and it's never good.

So I know she brought this on herself. Noah, you read this, right? Yeah. I've been following it. Rosie O'Donnell offered this i love rosie o'donnell by the way she was very nice to me when i did the view i've heard stories that she's maybe

not the greatest but like she was the only person that was nice to me on the view that you know was not someone producers were nice to me but i'll never forget ew Ew. From Kelly Rowland. But did you just think of that? That kind of fucking dude. But Rosie O'Donnell, apropos of nothing, told everyone in some kind of video, I think she was on Instagram Live or something. She was like, oh my God, you'll never believe it. I ran into Nick Jonas and his wife at Nobu.

I was there. She was there with someone really funny. Her son and someone who was a, it doesn't matter, but it was a funny person who she was there with that you're like, really? They were sitting next

to Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra. I think it's pronounced, she pronounces it Chopra, but I could be wrong. And Rosie goes, oh my god, Nick Jonas! And Priyanka, and she goes, oh, and I know your dad, to Priyanka Chopra. And she goes, you know my dad, who do you think my dad is?

And she goes, Deepak. And she's like, Chopra's a very, you know, common last name. I think she's Indian. I'm not trying to be racist, I just don't, I don't want to assume. And she goes, it's a very common last name. What was it?

Her father, her dad died 10 years ago. Yeah, in 2013. And so Rosie being like, which is, Rosie didn't know that, but she really did think that Priyanka's dad was Deepak

because of the last name. And she was like, A nepotism is a thing. And she shared that rosie shared this awkward encounter and then she also went on to say that she just called her the the jonas wife she said or the no she goes the chopra wife she called priyanka because she was wanted to skip over her name which she probably was struggling with and everyone i was on the subreddit they're all arguing about, like, is that racist or not?

And, like, I think there's tones of it being insensitive and being, like, thinking it's funny to just think that all people with Dopra, the last name, you know uh lucy lu and some other uh uh you know asian filmmaker someone with last name lu are are related and then someone was like actually his last name is lee it's not lu and she goes exactly it's racist of me to think his last name is lu and i go is it yeah because doesn't i know we talked about this before doesn't racism entail that you think one race is better than another or one race is inferior to another does thinking two people who have a similar ethnic last name that's like like a smith in another language are related is that making you racist like they're less than you by thinking that two people that a name is common there and not really knowing because you're not like you're not surrounded by people maybe the fact that you're

not around ignorant but it's not racist but ignorance can stem from racism if you choose to not have friends that are black because you think you're better than black people then okay that would that would that that ignorance is from you thinking you're better thus you're not around them but if you're just not around them because of socio economic because of fucking gerrymandering laws and like you just didn't were raised around them for what because your parents were racist it doesn't mean you are racist because you don't know right doesn't racism have a connotation of you think you're better than other races i would think it's what is it i think it's like bothers me that we say that word so much well i think the analogy and as a white person i feel like i should be

heard right now just yeah don't come at me um i think it's like if you let's say like uh mara right the girl with the last name mara the actress kate mara kate mara she was like in australia or something and someone's like just assumes that her dad's the owner of the Giants, which he is. But I'm just saying, just makes that connection. Like, oh, I know one other Mara name. Or even you with Colin. Yeah.

Are you Dr. Colin's son from Port St. Lucie? Yeah. No, but yes. Not all Jews who change their last name are named Colin. Like, would you say that? Would you be like, whoa. You stop it. Shots fired.

Whoa. Whoa. It sounds like from Priyanka's response, though, I don't know if you saw the latest thing that she wrote about Rosie's apology. It sounds like she was upset that Rosie was so dismissive about it more than, you know, racist or anything like that i think though yeah i don't think priyanka was calling racism i think it's just everyone around it is calling racism people love to just well i think people make fun of nepotism all the time of like oh this

fucking hudson actress only got it because fucking her dad's this which is what i'm saying both can be true if you you can have ignorance ignorance about a race does not mean racism but it can be under the umbrella of someone who's racist yes but they can both be separate i also doesn't i don't know if rosie has any idea i mean she was a huge star on her own without jononas so she takes offense to that like everyone's egos are involved here and yeah it did feel dismissive of like she's the she knew her husband but she didn't know her it's like it's all that but i just i know as a white chick i shouldn't be saying like what i think is racist and what isn't but i think there should be some sort of we should all look it up in the dictionary at some point what racism actually means and like you saying someone oh you are saying a name wrong not pronouncing a name right or like shit like that and then it's like well you're raising you

didn't say my name my dog always you know there's some dogs that bark at people with darker skin color because they're not used to it or I'm sure that there are dogs that are around people that are raised in black communities that when they see a white person are like what the fuck is that is your dog racist because does your dog think that that person coming to the door is less than white people no they just haven't been around so that's what i'm saying is that's what people who make those same mistakes of like oh those sometimes i get them can like i don't see a lot of them so when i see someone with that skin tone i just from far away i thought it was someone else it can can can i feel like we i feel like we live in a world though where the here, all the information's out there, so people have very less.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm just saying people have very less tolerance to intolerance and ignorance because a dog can't get on the Internet and be like, oh, maybe. I understand that, but when you make a mistake of thinking someone with the last name Lee who looks of a similar descent than someone else that looks like Lee and they are from the same town and you might think they're, you stupidly think they're related because you just don't know how common the last name Lou or Lee is, that

doesn't mean you think white people are better than them. It just means you are making an assumption about something you don't know a lot about and your ignorance can stem from the fact that you think you're better than them, but it doesn't always and a name like that can i don't think i'm very specific to to someone that doesn't know like if we were in another country i don't know anything about the inuit i literally don't know anything about inuits i don't think i'm better than them does my ignorance is because i haven't looked up every fact about inuit peoples, does that mean I hate them and think I'm better than them? No, it means I have a lot of shit to do and it's not part of my life to have

to educate myself on. You know what I mean? But maybe, but, but, but then should, then should we, then everyone should know every single race and know every little thing about every race before they even encounter one. If anything, that's going to inspire me to stay the fuck away from other races more than fear of being called a racist is going to make me stay away from people who might call me a racist because I don't understand their culture

rather than putting myself into it and learning by making mistakes like fucking everyone does. That's how you learn. We live in a culture now where you cannot make mistakes or you're a bad person and you have bad morals and you think you're better than people.

How did this story even get out? Rosie O'Donnell put it out. I mean, that's- She's so stupid. That sounds like- That was a bad mistake. I mean, that's- She probably thought it was funny

and that is where someone could say this feels a little racist to me because you think it's so funny to think that everyone with the last name Chopra is connected. That, to me, I get it. I get how you would connect those dots. And that was not any kind of racist thing intended when I just said. Well, back to Tyson Fury, the millions thing. Yeah.

I feel like you got in on me a little early there I think that him saying bragging about the millions I think it actually and and not doing it obviously is positive like him not taking the millions and still like fucking not taking the advertising money but you know what I see, and I know I asked me, Hey, do you want to do a gambling ad? There's a part of me that was like, I don't fucking gamble.

I don't give a shit. It's not something I've struggled with. Why don't I just take the money and fucking do a gambling ad? But when I saw that he's turned down millions, when he said that number, it made, it made me, it made me go,

well, then I can turn down thousands. For sure. So I, the number to me made the difference, which is going to make the difference in other people's lives that I'm not going to promote gambling. And there's a difference in the sense that he's the toughest man on earth, and he's saying I'm a fucking Spartan, but I also have mental health issues.

The word bragging doesn't always have a negative connotation. I guess it has a negative connotation, but I'm saying he's like, I'm this. I'm fucking this big, and yet I still have these same problems. Yes. At the same time. But I think it's essential to his point. Yeah. I agree.

But it can still be bragging. Like I said, ignorance can be... Ignorance is the same as bragging when we're talking about racism and proving a larger point it could be within the umbrella of it and it can actually support what your what your all overall motive is i wish rosie adon was like jonas are you joe jonas's brother that is hilarious he's like no i'm not i'm not i'm nick jonas i'm completely different jonas she's just like you know that could be her defense listen all the jonas's are connected i assumed i just assumed that this family's attracted to other families that where all the famous people have the same last name

also that name the whole family is there's certain names that i we just don't know that's my point we don't know how common they are because you didn't grow up but it sounds specific because we've never heard the name before that's the point yes it sounds but people who call racism like that i think are stupid and are just defensive because they don't feel like they're enough so they have to take people down to lift themselves up i think that's it and it's like it's it's, it's, it's going to ruin us all eventually. You know Renan Hirschberg? Yeah.

The comedian who we really like. Yeah. So funny. He has this joke about like, oh, it's my grandpa. He's racist, but he's from a different time.

And he's like, no, he's here now. He's from this time. And it kind of reminds me of that, of like, no, he is still aware.

And a lot, granted, he probably doesn't have access to the internet as easy. And when you age, there are actual scientific reasons why your brain is not as adaptable to change and new ideas when you age. There is an excuse there, unfortunately. Yes. There is. unfortunately yes there is and i i get his point of like my dad is still someone who like learns how to do tech and like keeps up with like what the kids are talking about but there are some people people that are stuck in their ways but what you said about like dogs don't have access to google so before i make an assumption before i ever engage with someone of a different race

i'm supposed to google everything I could possibly talk about that that's why it's important to travel yes but guess what world what you know what I don't want to travel if I go into a different country and me making some white person dumb ignorant just honest mistake gets me branded as a white nationalist. And I'm not sticking up for any white nationalists who make this same kind of argument. I know that, again, the arguments I'm making fit under the umbrella

of people that defend their racism. That is not what I'm doing here. I'm just saying there are nuances. Spoken like a true Hitler youth. But there is a part of me that is actually scared of travel because of what I don't know and coming off like a true hitler youth but there is a part of me that is actually scared of travel because of what i don't know and coming off like a white dumb honky yeah like since we've been in mexico i don't like to talk i'm scared to talk to people in spanish no to even try spanish i won't

do it because i just don't want them to make fun of me that's really it i don't want them to go oh my god the way she said ola was like so, she tried to sound like us. She thinks she's better than us or like, so I just won't even, I literally, it's made me not engage. I know,

but it makes me so insecure and that I honestly, I don't go out and I don't do things unless I'm with someone who will be the dumb dumb to go hola, buenos tardes. Am I the dumb dumb in this? And I don't think you're a don't do things unless I'm with someone who will be the dumb dumb to go, hola, buenos tardes. Am I the dumb dumb in this?

And I don't think you're a dumb dumb, but to me, yes, I do think you are. Hola, como estas? Mucho gusto. Yeah, like. But that's not bad. Yes, I give it a little Spanish. I'm humiliated by how bad my Spanish might sound to them that I won't talk to them. And I'm realizing how that's making me seem like I think I'm better. It's actually because I think I'm worse.

You know what I'm saying? But my fear of being ridiculed by a race or by a culture of people. But what does it say about the other people? Because you're saying that they won't be open to teaching you or showing you what their culture is like. I don't think you're giving them the benefit of the doubt. But I live in a world where everyone i live in the internet because i'm looking up things to educate myself where people are so judgmental that actually googling things before i talk to people makes

me feel worse about them and makes me think there you go i'm gonna get torn down so should i google things or should i not we also do feel worse. We also laugh at like, you know, there was one guy on Perfect Strangers this year who like doesn't speak English that well. So anything he says, everyone's like, oh. So we do it to people all the time in America that try to speak English. But I have never once seen someone trying to speak English and gone like,

just speak your language and let's be honest about what we can and can't do. I've never felt that way. So I don't know why I think they're gonna think that way about me I think it's awesome when people try to speak even the tiniest bit of English even if it's just hi how are you and then they that's all they know which is all I know in Spanish literally all I know but I won't do it because I just feel like I'm so dumb and that I'm and I'm scared they're gonna think that I that I know more than I know and then they're I just feel like I'm so dumb and that I'm, and I'm scared they're going to think that I, that I know more than I know.

And then they're going to just start talking to me and I'm going to go, let me just be honest with you. The conversation ends at hello. I don't know anymore. And also, can you slow it down? And I have Google translate. I oftentimes type in things and then hold it to them.

Where can I buy ZVS? Don't day. Don't day. Can. things and then hold it to them where can i buy zevias donde donde can where where where where can i buy now i see why you don't do it well what can i huh can is you can just say to buy. Where to buy? Donde? Aste. That's all I know for French is to buy. Is it anything close to Aste? Buy is comprar. Okay.

Donde comprar? But I don't know how to conjugate. Okay, compro. Donde compro Zivia? Zivia. Or me. I would never say that. I don't trust you.

I think that you're saying... When you talk Spanish, I think you're saying this. Whereby things. And you sound... I've seen a lot of blank stares from you. What are you talking about? Let's get to one news story.

Let's get to one news story. We'll have to do rapid fire news. You heard it here first. Oh, you heard it here first, folks. Let's do one news story. Let's get to one news story. We'll have to do rapid fire news. Yeah. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Oh, you heard it here first, folks. It's Thursday. You know what that means. It is Thursday.

Hope you're having all the swells. As you can tell, I can't talk that well, so I'm going to throw it over to Noah because she knows how to do it. Here we go. You go to girl. Wow. Thanks, Andrew.

You're welcome. The crown has props worth more than $200,000 stolen from set. Whoa. The show The Crown? The show The Crown. Netflix says, indeed, the antiques were stolen. Replacements are being sourced. And the stolen items include a replica of a Russian Fabergé egg,

candelabras, jewelry, a grandfather clock, and a domed birdcage. Feedback? Damn. I always wonder when people steal art and stuff, where are they putting this shit? Or how are they getting rid of it? Like if someone steals the Mona Lisa

and you go over to someone's house and there's the Mona Lisa. You just go on Pawn Stars. Why don't you go, I feel like that doesn't belong here. Wouldn't that be a great Pawn Stars? Wouldn't you go, I feel like that doesn't belong here. Wouldn't that be a great Pawn Stars? You live in a one bedroom.

I have this Mona Lisa. I don't really know what it is. Yeah. It's small. It's smaller than, it's like a drawing of a woman

and the guy's like, hmm. This is going to be a replica because the Mona Lisa's pretty famous. No, no, it's the real one.

Well, I feel like you shouldn't be in Vegas with this. This shouldn't be pulled out of the back of your... You didn't even wrap it in bubble tape. Your turt cell. But yeah, I don't know. There's a whole... But don't barge cage from the crown.

No one's going to see that in your place and be like, that's from this, you know, act two of episode four. But I'm just saying when people still really noticeable art pieces of art, my cousin Bobber works at where he restores his last name or his name is Bob, but we call him Bobber. You're not white trash though.

You're Christian poor. What was it? I'm Catholic poor. Catholic poor. So Bobber works at a museum and he- Is that TV, son? No, that's that's Tomer's son.

Tomer and Bobber? He had any art, anything. Nancy, Jim and Michael, Julie, Tomer, Peggy, Chucky, Bobby, Sally, TV, Mom and Dad. Okay, Matt Damon. So,

yeah, he says there's art that goes missing, not all the time, but he was like, I'm being investigated right now because everyone that works at the museum is being questioned by the fucking feds about this. And then they found the art in storage where they were like, oh, sorry,

I was tucked behind this fucking old fucking stack of eggs. I have a question, though. Yeah. so if it's a prop on a set isn't it like not a real one so why would i think that sometimes people do props does not mean not real okay i just think means it's used on a set but it doesn't have to mean like a replica. My quasi-boyfriend, whatever you want to call him, he always tells this story that he thinks is so funny, which I do not understand why it's funny.

Can I just tell it and see what you think? Yeah. Okay. Well, you really set it up well. Everyone he tells it to thinks it's hilarious. Okay. You've heard this actually, and you thought it was funny. Okay. And I don't think it's funny because i was raised in this insanity okay my dad for the was meeting chris for the first

time and he was showing him all these indian artifacts that my dad has collected over the years from just you know looking for artifacts and he showed him this one like a chopper he was showing him a spear that he found that was like some kind of knife and it was like you know had the it was like a knife made with a handle and stuff and chris was like wow this is like really awesome and my dad goes you don't want to know what this is do you know who this was made by and he's like the you know chris is like the hopi tribe like what and he goes the same guy who made all of the props for Last of the Mohicans made this. Yeah, that's funny. Why is that funny?

I think that's actually cool that someone who did the same style that Native American people did and replicated all of these things in the same fashion by drying out the hides and doing the same exact thing made these tools. It's not nearly as cool. No, it's not as cool. Well, he didn't say it's as cool. It's still cool, though. What's cooler?

Okay, you ready? The pyramid in Egypt? A million dollars or a billion dollars? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, I get it. I get the difference. No, no, but I'm saying pyramid in Egypt or pyramid in Epcot?

I think that's where the disconnect is. My dad wasn't saying, isn't this cooler than an actual one? He was just saying the same guy that made all these props for this movie that is one of the most accurate portrayals of how Native Americans probably were actually made this one too. You know what it sounds like? The Catholic poor version of the real thing yeah i always am like i don't get why it's funny and he can barely tell it without laughing like

through the whole thing look i get it i get it i i i could see why it's funny i could also see why you think it's cool like i do see both i don't see why it's funny at all i i literally don't noah what's your question to me the the funny part is just having met your dad and also him just explaining things and telling me things about historical items. Is it because he showed Chris a bunch of real artifacts and then turned to that one and then said it's from a set? Possibly, okay. Because that would be the funny part to me.

I think that's it. Yeah. You don't set up a thing like a fossil or something It's from a set. Possibly. Okay. I think that's it. Yeah. But I've set up a thing like a fossil or something and say, dude, I got this at a gift shop. Okay. Okay.

Exactly. Now it's making more sense. But I grew up thinking it was cool. I don't know. Okay. I just want to say those props that went missing. There's going to be some props that go missing from FBoy Island. Sorry, Perfect Strangers 2.

Everyone knows what I'm doing. P Strangers? P Strangers 2. The cat's out of the bag. It's been out. That's our tagline this year. Cat's out of the bag. What did I want to take from set the other day? There's just some pieces. Well, yeah.

There's some things that I'm going to ask for permission to take them, but I've taken some things over the years. Those aren't props. That's wardrobe. I don't know. The way you wear them, it seems like props because you won't wear those outside of this. I know. I dress so well. You know when you

would dress up as a cowgirl and take a picture, or a cowboy, and you take a family photo? It's literally, I dress as... No, the black and white photo. Oh, yeah, those old Western photos you take in Silver Dollar City. Yeah, that's what you do for this show.

I know. Perfect Strangers. I always look like I'm going to Dollywood for the afternoon and just raiding that little saloon closet. Those fake black and white photos. Wait, that one outfit you wore though, I'm telling you that should be your next fucking

special outfit. Yeah, it was pretty cool. All right, let's get to the last news story. Before we get to Fanthrope. Okay. The FDA authorizes the first condom specifically marketed for anal sex.

Oh, what is it, brown? People would be surprised to know that there are no anal-approved condoms out there, but this opens up the opportunity for other condom manufacturers to apply. Does it open up anything else? Yeah, it has a claw on the end of it. To apply for similar approval

and encourages more marketing for wearing condoms during anal. What is it? What is it? Why is it different? Honestly. I tried to find that out, but I don't know.

It's just like they have three different versions of it. And I don't know what the difference is. Does it have like a little thing on the end of it that shaves the asshole hair? Like a balloon knot? I'm thinking a little... To match your asshole?

Like a little motor. And then it comes back. No, I mean, it is a... If you're having anal sex, I forgot to put that into my whole description of what you do if you try to have anal sex. Why can't you wear a regular condom in your butt? That's why I think that they're just doing a thing that's like, this is for anal.

It's special when it's really not that different at all. And also look at their logo. It's just like a butt with a checkmark on it. And also clinically tested butt stuff approved. That means that scientists were butt fucking to test these well actually real this seems like you're throwing squirrels in the air this does feel like um onion are you sure this is real no no it's yeah there was a clinical trial that was comprised of 252 men who have sex with men and then 252 men who have sex with women. I can't believe that there hasn't been specific anal condoms

given how ubiquitous anal sex is in the, first of all, homosexual male community. You know what I mean? Like, how has this not happened? There are some times where you go, how has that not? There was something last night that we were talking about. And you go, that would be a great idea. Oh, I was talking to my parents last night. And I told my mom, my mom had a couple of drinks.

And I was telling her about Chris's brother, Tim, had a baby. And it's so freaking cute. Congrats. I know. To you. To me, as my boyfriend's brother had a baby. Thank you so much. How did you do it?

And to add to all of this, he's not even officially my boyfriend. So it's really exciting for me unofficially. Six degrees of you being this baby's aunt. But my mom was like, I'm going to write him right now. It's like 11 o'clock and I'm FaceTiming with them. My mom's they've had a couple drinks. My mom goes, I'm letting him know. I'm so proud of him.

And I go, how about you do this in the morning when you don't have wine in you? And it wasn't like she was drunk or anything. I just go, I just want you to have a clear head when you send a really congratulatory sweet message. And she goes, I just want you to have a clear head when you send a really congratulatory sweet message. And she goes,

I'll do it right. I'll just write it now. And I go, I don't even want to hear it. Just do it in the morning. And I go, Mom, your phone needs a goddamn breathalyzer. And then my dad goes, that's actually a great idea. Nikki, you should pitch that to Shark Tank. That would be amazing. And my mom goes, I need it.

I need that fucking thing. And my mom goes, I need it. I need that fucking thing. And she goes, I'd do it. Nikki, you need to do that. And I go, there are actually apps you can put on your phone that will disable it so you can't get into it unless you do a puzzle that a drunk person wouldn't be able to solve. You know, like some kind of word puzzle or something.

Yeah, like I care uh word puzzle or something yeah like wordle i care about my kids or something they gotta like figure it out you know like this behavior is bad let's go to break and come back with fanfrax john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed?

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is

when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls, and relapses. But when I was

feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Krems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club.

The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism, fierce competition, and a generation of women hell-bent on shanking that glass ceiling. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built,

the insights behind what it takes to create a world-renowned product, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. There's so much to learn, like how Patagonia innovates with its supply chain. We had to go out to farmers and convince them it was really damn hard. Or the way Adobe thinks about the first interaction somebody has with Photoshop. I was always so fascinated by how people navigate and find their way. Ever wanted to know how Nike builds emotion into the Jordan brand? You have to be obsessed with the current state of the human condition.

And it doesn't stop there. What about how Gleam reinvented knowledge search with AI? You can learn about how a Michelin star chef is redesigning seeds for flavor and how Pixar is nurturing a creative culture. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Snakes, zombies, public speaking, the list of fears is endless. But the real danger is in your hand when you're behind the wheel distracted driving is what's really scary and even deadly eyes forward don't drive

distracted brought to you by nizza and the ad council all right let's get to fanthrax we're back Fuck yeah. Hell yes. Let's hear what the fans have to say this week, the besties. All right, so the first couple of Fanthroxes are going to be from around the world. Ooh. Oh, culture. I'm getting nervous that I might listen the wrong way.

Just kidding. Just kidding. Which had my button. You need a breathalyzer for that last sentence. So here's our first voicemail from Yulia. Hi, Nick, Andrew, and Noah. I'm Yulia from Romania, ex-Transylvania. I just want to say that I started to listen to your podcast in January,

and my challenge was to listen to all of them and finally find out what Q means. Of course, I started with your latest podcast and listened back to the first ones. Not the best idea. Last night I was listening to episode 106. Finally, you mentioned Q and explained it a little bit. And I was so proud of myself that uh after such a long time i finally am on the right page but only to wake up and listen to the newest episode where you gave the full explanation of koo yeah i was laughing because i think

this is destiny you waited long enough so i could go through all the podcasts oh my god that's so funny everything and my new challenge is to find out what your ending of the podcast of the podcast means uh 100 more episodes oh you are so and don't be cute love her so much i mean how does someone in romania aka transylvania, find our podcast? I need to know. We have to say Cevac. What is it? Cevac, Julia. Cevac.

Cevac, Julia. How do you know that? That means what's, because my family's Romanian. Oh, yeah. Sorry. It's okay. You know how to speak Romanian?

A little bit. I just know Cevac and Kiloci. Kiloci. Which means underwear. kilocci. Kilocci. Which means underwear. I know Hungarian. Kilocci. Maggie Farluck and Jitara.

That's so funny. Why do you know underwear in Romanian? I don't know. It's just a funny word. Kilocci is so funny. Okay. I have so much to say.

First of all, I don't want her to wait another hundred episodes to figure out what the hell we're doing at the end. No, no, no. Don't give her. She likes this. No, no, no, no. Don't give her.

She likes this. No, no, no. I put Tarantino in it. No, she can go back and listen to this. Other mysteries along the way that we've definitely have ham drips that I'm

sure that we say ham drip when there is a inside joke that, that we have just referenced that you might not get unless you listen to all the episodes. There's tons of those that you can still be confounded by, but it's so funny to go backwards by the way, but I listen to all the episodes. There's tons of those that you can still be confounded by. It's so funny to go backwards, by the way. But I want to say about Jack, when we say Jack, don't be ca, you get that now, okay?

And I'm sorry you had to listen to all those episodes and then we just explained it on the next one after you heard. That is so funny. But we say, usually at the end, so at the end of the episode we say jackpot usually that came from there i used to do a show called blind date where i was the voiceover for the show where people would go on blind dates and i'd go well next up you're never gonna believe what happens to andre when he gets a little spicy in the hot tub with Cecilia?

Next up on a blind date jackpot. Yeah. Okay. So one day, Andrew and Emil, my friend Emil, were in the recording studio with me. And we were writing jokes for this blind date show. And one of the tosses to commercial was, next up on a blind, it's a blind date jackpot. It just said blind date jackpot. And for some reason, I did the delivery of a jackpot.

And they really thought it was funny. Yeah, it was great. And so we just started saying jackpot, which led to Andrew getting a tattoo. Well, no, don't skip. Vegas is when it really, I think, started. Because remember, we're going, oh, that's a jackpot. Oh, because it's everywhere.

Because there's so much winning. It's just jackpots everywhere. Yeah, and you see the word jackpot. So we would just go like. I feel like that's when it's solidified. Yeah. Jackpot. And it just.

So then we started saying. So Andrew got a tattoo of the word jackpot on his arm that he totally stands by. And then that I made him get, just kidding, I didn't know he was getting it. It kind of disturbed me. And solidified that I had to be friends with him forever. I was going to get Nikki Glaser on my neck. So then when we started this podcast, I think we wanted to change up not saying jackpot and we just started like saying jack and then something else and which turned into why we say different

jacks every time so there you go thank you so much for listening though let's get to the next yeah now you don't have you don't have to keep yeah don't go back stay current and i'm so sorry for today's episode where I wax philosophical and intellectual about other cultures and as a white woman I just want to get ahead of myself and apologize for how annoying all that must have seemed but I'm just trying to and if you're listening to the episode I'm not trying to be defensive I'm just trying to yeah listen. I'm just trying to, yeah. You're listening to the episode in reverse. Just stop now. And by stop, you're going to have to keep listening to know what we're saying stop for. Dude, I'm so sorry.

I know today we probably lost some listeners, but I'm just, I'm honestly not trying to be, I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. So if I did, reach out to me and I want to know why. We'll just cut it down to the most racist parts. Bestie's always right to me. Yeah. All right, let's keep going.

Okay. Next one is from Kadeen. Hi, Nodruski. This is Kadeen from Kingston, Jamaica. You mean what? Nikki. Nikki. I just wanted to thank you for that recommendation to listen to Dead Eyes by Connor Ratcliffe.

Oh, yeah. I work from home, so I spend most of my day listening to podcasts while I work. Oh, yeah. and don't worry you're still my number one podcast that's not gonna change anytime soon love you guys keep doing what you're doing all the swells bye i just like can't handle this i can't handle when i'm in another country i can't i really like when people are listening in another country it just blows it just i'm that racist i'm that old no i it really does it blows my mind too of like how did you get there you feel like uh singing for sugarman that that documentary yeah yeah where the guy ends up being really famous um it blows my mind too and these people our listeners are so sweet and it makes me feel so good and man i don't like a moment i'm just like emotional it's a moment like this where you know we're in this part of the

world or whatever but just to feel connected to someone from a completely different place it's like very i don't know enriching and fulfilling it is it's doing things for my soul to hear these today like it yeah there's something about it that yeah it just it means so much that people listen to us every day it's just um it's so nice and uh I have so much fun doing this show and it's yeah it it it's just so nice that people appreciate it because, yeah, I just, I know that that's true because we wouldn't have one unless there were fans, but it still blows me away. And like, I've been to Jamaica on a cruise. Have you?

A couple times. So I just get the culture. Yeah, you get it. Because I got off the boat barely for like 35 minutes. Yeah. And you got like a t-shirt. I got a t-shirt that says Jamaica me crazy. And so you get the culture and you get. i get this woman and i just i'm very everything

what was her name kadine yeah yeah kadine i like that i love her and what was the first girl's name let's see into the first girl too and i know this maybe like with the shit going on in russia and ukraine and shit and i obviously am going to sound very ignorant because I think Romania is somewhere around there. It's a long Moldova, which is right by. Oh, it is. Oh, I thought you were saying it's a long journey. Like Moldova is a word for journey. Yeah, I thought that was another word.

Yeah, I did too. Oh, no, no. Well, it's a long Moldova over to just. Felt like to me the Counting Crows song. It's been a long Moldova. Anyhow, with the shit going on over there, it's just like I just think about how connected we are as a world of people that listen to us and shit

and that their next day can be fucking completely fucked because of some fucking egotistical piece of shit and i'm sorry that if you have to deal with any of that and you're a listener in ukraine we will support you and love you i know it's so sorry and i'm sorry to russian people too who are not wanting this oh there's so many people in russia that are like mostly everyone fucking us it's like 10 dudes it's 10 dude it's like 10 dudes with It's 10 dudes. It's like... It's 10 dudes with little... Never mind. I wouldn't say that.

You're going to fucking disappear. Yeah, I know. I'm just kidding. Shots fired. Okay, next one. You ready? What's scarier, going after Putin or Taylor Swift? It's close.

Honestly... Shots fired, shots fired. I don't want to go off the Putin-ies. The like Swifties? Yeah. Okay, ready for the next one? yeah okay just him and three guys who are terrified of him as well yes definitely ready okay here's hillary from canada hi nikki andrew and noah my name is hillary i am from canada um i just needed to let you guys know, first off, Nikki, you are just so adorable. And Andrew, you are very smart. Not like actually smart, like just straight smart,

if you know what I mean. Anyways, I just want to leave you guys a message to let you guys know that I'm a total bestie and also two major ways that the podcast has changed my life. First, it has almost put me into a crippling amount of debt. Not actually, but it has gotten me obsessed with Poshmark. I had never used it before. So now I'm at the good job, Nikki. No, too many purchases. And I would never probably met that anyone in my real life. Positive No, it has the podcast has solved a problem that I've been having for a long time. For the last like five to 10 years, I have always slept with earplugs because I like the very silent sleeping as well as being able to hear my own heartbeat. So it wasn't until Nikki actually mentioned her white noise app and listening to the airplane noise

that I was able to get past this earplug thing. So thanks a lot, guys. And jackpot. Love you. That's so sweet. The one thing I heard, though, sleeping to the sound of my own heartbeat. That is amazing. Terrifying to me.

Oh, really? Terrifying. Really? Noah, right? I think that sounded like really. Noah, am I alone on this? It's terrifying. It sounds like you're listening to the beginning of a trailer

of a horror film. All I'd be going is... Was that one normal? Was that one normal? That one was timed differently than the last one. Is it going to come? I constantly check my pulse because I have Bradycardia and it's really fun to see how low my pulse can go.

How low can you go? And when I'm sleeping, sometimes it's like, there are times where I'm like, hold on. I don't want the other one. I don't want the next one to come, because I want to see how low it can get. What's it called? Bradycardia.

Bradycardia. It sounds like a hot guy. Tom Brady. Yeah, yeah. Final thought. I really appreciate hearing what you guys have learned from the podcast, because it's always a nice reminder to myself of things that I need to be doing in my life because

when I share things that have worked for me it's usually like on a good day and then I have bad days and I like forget everything I used to do but the other day a fan bestie wrote to me and said that she was in an argument with her mom about something and she uh her mom was just like why don't you do this like this thing that she her daughter needs to do and this clearly would make her daughter's life better and she goes mom if I could do it I would it's not and she was like I learned that from you like just because it's something I could do like go to the gym or clean my house like yes you can do it but if I but of course I want to clean house of course I want to be someone who go to the gym or clean my house like yes you can do it but if i but of course i want to clean house of course i want to be someone who goes to the gym if i could it would be it

would be happening clearly there's something in me that makes it so i can't do it and so i'm not a bad person because it's not happening i'm on poshmark mom yeah i can't afford a fucking 24 hour fitness monthly thing. I have to buy a... Mom, I'm busy going into debt on your credit card. What the fuck's wrong with you? I kind of forgot about Poshmark until it came up the other day. It makes me think, what is it?

Does it have guy stuff on it? It has everything on it, dude. Yes. It's just anytime I see someone with a shirt and they're like, I'm like, where'd you get that? And they're like, Zara 2018. I go, don't you worry. I'll find it on Poshmark. How do you find it you get that? And they're like, Zara 2018. I go, don't you worry,

I'll find it on Poshmark. Like you can fucking, it's all. How do you find it? What do you search? You just search Zara black t-shirt. Like the other day, Robin was wearing a, she said a Bowie shirt

and I was like, you mean David Bowie? And she was, well she's British so she probably knows better than me and her dad was a Sting's agent so she knows fucking how to pronounce things. She calls him Sting.

And so, I, Sting's agent so she knows fucking how to pronounce thing she calls him Stying and so I typed in Bowie Forever 21 David Bowie I did not find it Bowie is so cool yeah did you type it did you spell it right did you spell it Bowie or Bowie yeah I said well

why were you able to Do you think maybe she... Because Forever 21 has so much garbage clothing that they're constantly going through and making that it's a little bit harder to find stuff from them as opposed to like... If there's a pair of jeans that only, you know, whatever A.G., A. Goldie or whatever put out in 2019, you can probably find them.

You just need to, you can find pretty much anything on Poshmark and it's all, you know, lightly worn and then you place bids. It's like eBay, but for some reason it's not as like, it doesn't feel as dirty as eBay. I want to look for some like cool,

would they have like cool band t-shirts there? Probably. Yeah. Yes. All you have to do is type in, cool band. For you who has one cool band t- teacher that is literally has a hole in it. That is,

you could wrap it around your knee. That makes it look cooler. I think someone argue derelict. You can just type in, this is what I would do. Google cool retro band shirts. And so then you get a list of ones that like in the past have been cool, not ones that you're going to buy,

but just like, see like what the style is, find one you like. And then also I would just type in bands or things that you like that might have a 1980, like a band that might've been around in the eighties and type in like when I was finding a gift for Chris, I asked his brother,

what are all the obscure soft rock bands that Chris loves? It would be so cool to find like a, you know, an Air Supply 1977 tour, summer tour. Not a prop, an original one. Yeah. Or there are some companies though that make really cool, obviously like weathered looking, like that Bowie shirt from Forever 21 was really cool.

Just goes back literally to your dad. Yeah, just dancing with the wolves replica knife. I mean, it's literally just a replica of something that should, like the idea of getting at the concert is cooler. Yeah, but guess what? Sometimes Dave Matthews Band did not have cool merch for three decades ever. And so someone else has to make some that's cooler.

Taylor Swift, shots fired, bad merch. Whoa. Sorry, girl. Your merch is, I still love it. I'll buy fucking everything no matter what. And that's what tells me it doesn't matter if you love someone enough, you'll wear anything. But her merch isn't as cool as I want it to be. So that's why I like Etsy because fans make merch that is cool.

Can I say something? Poon, terrible merch. I'm with you. If you go down, I go down. Oh, my God. On Reddit, there are always pictures of Poon as a baby showing up. And he looked the same. And I always look at those pictures and I go,

God, if I could just walk into that frame where he's a little baby and just give him a hug, would what's happening be happening right now? If someone could have just nurtured him. If he was just raised with pedophiles, he would have been fine. I mean, that's kind of the same argument taken to the extreme of like they it's just funny to to i that actually is an interesting story i have to say i'm glad i shared it even though it took us to a dark area that that logic can be which is like we all can agree that um child raising children being like don't cry uh don't and there was like this whole i forget what it was called but it was like there was a certain type of raising your child where you're just not

kind to them ever because it makes them soft and it's past the three years old oh this is what i read in this thing we have to go but the problem someone wrote in the comments the problem with in that commercial thing that i saw someone read the comments the comments, the problem with, in that commercial thing that I saw, someone wrote in the comments on Reddit, the problem with our world is that children aren't coddled enough later into life and that they should be nurtured and hugged and treated as like babies who need more care and more comfort. And we just go, after three, we only give, you know, two months maternity leave. And then, and then it's like, then you're alone most of the day with someone who might not love

you as much when primates spend seven chimps, spend seven years with their kids nonstop before they go out alone, before they allow their little baby chimps to start an independent life. Whereas we are sending children into situations because we all have to work and we live in a capitalist society. And that leads to people growing up with not enough love and teaching empathy, which leads to wars. It's all because of how we're treated as children. It's really the... But some chimps eat each other's faces even if they're taken care of. That's why you got to stay close

because someone's going to eat your kid's face. That is true. I didn't mean to damper your point. No, no, it's a good point. I like that. Some chimps take machine guns and shoot up villages. Andrew's not wrong.

Chimps are the only other mammals besides humans that plan warfare. Actually plan warfare. Now we know what Noah's Googling late at night. The book is called Demonic Males. Read it. Whoa. That's also your favorite band. Demonic Males. whoa that's also your favorite band band demonic males when dying fetus grew up man next week on the podcast i want to touch on some things first of all the taylor swift heavy metal band that we that noah sent us that a bestie sent page a bestie sent page thank you so much i got into them

but we're but at the end i have to so we we'll get into that. And then I also want to get into, Oh, what was the other thing I just, Oh, you got a message from a bestie about Columbine. Oh yeah. And I want to hear about that. So thank you all for the fan facts.

Keep them coming. We'll see you next week. That's the teaser. Columbine. Listen, if you're a fan of today's podcast and you, if you got, if you got through today's podcast and you're still on board if you're a fan of today's podcast and you if you got you got through if

you got through today's podcast and you're still on board you're you're fucking pumped for some columbine breakdowns god i'm so sorry about today's episode listen i'm not always in my best state of mind dude are you ready for next week because we're gonna talk about burning kids alive i'm dumb i am ignorant and that's why i i leave the door open for you to come into my dms and educate me and no it's great but I do that's the difference between me and people who are going like I know what I'm talking about and I'm not I'm close-minded I will admit I'm stupid so anytime I get on my high horse my horse might be stupid too okay I don't know how to ride a horse so just know that anytime I think i know what i'm

doing deep down inside i know i'm dumb and you can definitely have every right to come and see you getting on a high horse backwards and going good my horse is just like high on fucking ph pcp that's my high horse yeah and p i think it's phd i think this horse knows what it's talking about but it's just stored in PC alright we gotta get out of here love you don't be cut and Jack be nimble Jack be quick Jack burnt off his fucking dick

what the fuck I don't know catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs.

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