The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #19 Barracudas on Molly

Episode Date: April 22, 2021

Well, "You Heard it Here First" this is a 2 part podcast, you'll find out who stayed in the Cayman Islands and who is broadcasting from Gate D. Nikki and Andrew talk about coke, the truth behind a yogurt shop, decriminalized prostitution and fish's feelings. On Nikki's Reddit Dump they find nostalgia, the first mention of periods, the best guy on the news and Andrew talks about RectiCare in front of a family. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello. Good morning, good eve, good day. I don't know when you're listening to this, but I appreciate the fact that you are.

Noah, how you doing? I'm great. I love hearing Anya Marina's voice every time I start the show. My best friend. Check out her music if you haven't already. That song is catchy and wonderful for a reason. The person who wrote it is an amazing singer-songwriter, Anya Marina. And if you need an intro to her, I promise you cannot go wrong with her cover of

T.I.'s, Whatever You Like. You know that song, you can have whatever you like. Well, T.I. actually is recently in some hot water over the fact that he and his wife may have been sex trafficking. So let's not listen to that TI version, even though it's great too, but listen to Anya Marina's version and it literally will make you wet. Even if you're a guy, your dick will just get wet listening to it. And this is a family friendly show. So I wanted to start out by saying that just to get it out of the way. Mom, what does it mean if you get your dick wet, as your kid says from the backseat of the minivan? Why are you listening to my podcast on the minivan on the way to preschool? That's not OK.

No, any way you consume it is fine. And it's important to have these conversations with your children before they're ready to really understand what the hell anything is. Noah, do you remember when you found out a penis like goes inside a woman to make a baby? Because when that happened to me, when I realized that, I remember where I was. I remember everything. Where? Well, it was my cousin who stuck his penis in me.

And I was like, that's how you do it? No, I'm kidding. My cousin told me. And I could not believe it. I was up in my grandma's, my dad's old bedroom at my grandma's house and my cousin was like, it goes inside you. And I was just like, no way, no way.

I like that that you just like rub it together like two sticks making a fire. I didn't know that you actually, a penis goes in you. And I don't think- How old were you though? Probably nine. What about you? Okay, I know that it's before my family came to the U.S. from Israel.

So that means I was younger than seven. Oh my God, that's young. And I knew it through like animal behavior. You saw a penis go in through animals? I don't know. I just always knew about sex was it a dog animals had sex eight penises and uh another duck with nine vaginas and four of them are for rape vaginas remember andrew's animal facts that were oh my god the duck heads the duck thing the duck penis thing by the way yeah ducks have like corkscrew penises that was the thing that's the interesting

thing about ducks and i don't think it's true either that a duck's quack doesn't echo. I think that's another like fake fact. Have you heard that before? I have not heard that one. But if you do quack into a really cavernous vagina, it will not echo. So that is where the duck and vagina thing does come into play. I am still in the Cayman Islands. I am staying at the nicest hotel I've ever stayed at The Kempton here I'm only saying that because I'm not going to be here tomorrow So come and find me bitches It is

This is an experience by the way that I'm trying to like extend Not because I love the Cayman Islands Like I do love being in Grand Cayman I honestly I know my way around I want to live here someday Thinking about getting a residency just to like, not for bank account purposes. People go, are you in the Caymans to

in the Cayman Islands to avoid paying taxes? And I go, actually, I love paying us taxes. I love paying taxes. And that is someone who can afford to pay taxes. I understand that some people are like I, but as someone who makes a lot of money i deserve to be taxed more and i enjoy it and i will never avoid paying taxes i just want to say that but i just like it here in the cayman uh grit and grand cayman because there's no covet as you know i'm just definitely scared to go back to covet world um masks i just don't want to wear masks again and also being in the cayman green being in grand cayman right now there's no tourists i hate tourist stuff so much that i won't ever wait in line for an attraction that has toured like if i'm around tourists it's because i'm like trying to get somewhere else like i hate

tourist traps and it's not because i think i'm cooler than them there are the tourist traps for a reason they're popular it's like pop music i always defend my love of pop music because i go because it's popular because it's good so i i agree that these things that i should say see and wait in line to see i just can't do it because i can't stand waiting in line i just will not do it yeah Yeah. I think there is something though, spending time with locals versus spending time with other tourists. Yeah. I mean, it's empty here. It's, there's this place called Caymana Bay, which is like an outdoor mall and it's like a ghost town. And I know that's not good for the retailers that are trying to make money in all the, but, but Cayman has adapted to entertaining the locals now. So they're not in this, like, I mean, at least I

don't sense it of this. Like we're really like, these are hard times for us. They're kind of like talking about, this is like the new normal. Like we've adjusted, we're now marketing towards locals and it's just, it's a great place to be. It will never be this way again, unless the next pandemic, it will never be this be this um just you can never visit somewhere that's just locals that's this nice usually it's overwrought by um by tourists and i i love it here so much and it's just i'm trying to acknowledge that if i come back to grand cayman next year it won't be like this so why not why not stay when it's like this kind of really calm beautiful place and the the rates for hotels are pretty low and I'm staying at this I want to live

in this place like you ever walk into a hotel room and you're like I just couldn't I could live in this hotel it's the perfect size it's sexy it feels like I I feel like I should be um I don't know I just I want to stay because I feel like a should be, um, I don't know. I just, I want to stay. Cause I feel like a single lady on the prowl that has like our own bachelorette pad, even though I'm not like making any moves on the Island, even though we just went to Starbucks and there's only one Starbucks on the Island, Noah. And it's where like all, every hot guy goes in the morning. Like every guy that's like everyone on the island that's around here goes but Andrew and I were there and I was like this is a meat market there's only like there's so many cute guys that

walked in and so I'm trying as desperately as I can to like make it very evident that Andrew's my friend or like a brother I just keep like you know palling around giving him noogies putting him in a chokehold I'm like can you just like I want to get a shirt that says I'm with like my brother or like this is my brother with like an arrow or something um but I feel like we we exude an energy that is like I could still maybe try to bang this chick even though this guy is sitting next to her you know I I don't know I've definitely been cursed with having too many guy friends. And whenever I would go out with them, it would just be like a circle of cock blocks. I know.

And Andrew's very aware of that. And I'm also aware of that with girls. Whenever we encounter a girl that I think he might like, I try to distance myself or be like, or mention that I'm looking for a guy around her so that she knows. Like, and I always know a guy is into me if they follow up with me when we're alone like so you and Andrew like really never did any like that that's always a

good actually sign that they like me is because if they're snooping around like what's the deal with you and Andrew I'm like oh yeah they might be into me so it's I don't know any guy that is worthy of my time is not gonna totally write me off because I have a guy sitting next to me that may or may not I always err on the side of if I'm interested enough in a guy and he's with a girl until I know that they're together I'm gonna maybe consider that they're friends that's the thing it's like you you I feel like in relationships you make all of these um or like when you're looking for a partner you make all of these, um, or like when you're looking for a partner, you make all of these assumptions like, Oh,

um, I want to make it as easy as possible for this guy to hit on me and to know I'm available. And so you give him all these like signs when really if a guy deserves you, he'll do the work to find out if you're available. Do you agree? Right. Yes.

And isn't that attractive anyway that they're kind of like hunting for you? rejection or you know um consider moving or consider that my job is not gonna make it so that i could be with this girl like some kind of sacrifice because i will make sacrifices as well to be in a relationship and sacrifices to me in the name of like wanting to be with someone to me will make me love that person even more as opposed to being like oh this guy like gave up his life like i don't want someone to sacrifice things they actually love but to make changes and to take risks in the name of being with me I would be nothing makes my dw or and you know I'm talking about kids remember from the top of the podcast yeah nothing makes me hornier than a guy that's like I'm willing to take this risk or I'm willing to yeah that's just uh makes me pretty horny so girls out there I really

recommend that book getting to I do I reread it last night I'm like I read so much of it Noah last night just to refresh and it was so important it just teaches women to value yourselves. That's all it does. Because the antidote to a man who isn't going to treat you right, like any guy who is a, you know, player or like a fuck boy, let's say, the only way to avoid fuck boys is the only thing that fuck boys cannot put up with is a woman with confidence. It's like kryptonite to them. They will not be able to so if you have confidence you will steal yourself from being hurt so much more i mean psychopaths and sociopaths and people with like personality disorders can infiltrate you because they're

experts and they have problems in their brain but uh truly like guys that are just like out to use you and not really being a commitment if you have self-respect through and through, which this book teaches you to harness, Getting To I Do by Dr. Pat Allen, I promise you, you will end up with someone good because it's just like guys like that, a girl with confidence, they can't get in. You won't let them in. So there's nothing bad about these dating books. In fact, this one is invaluable. Right, Noah?

I mean, you know, I love that book. It's our Bible. It's our Bible. Bible. Let's get Andrew in here. He is on my balcony staring, and I have the most beautiful view of this crystal clear ocean.

I have to stay. I have to stay here. We'll talk about it with Andrew when we get into how he slept. And also, you heard it here first. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture you get

hilarious satirical takes on entertainment politics sports and more from john and the team of correspondents and contributors the podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines listen to the daily show ears edition on the iheart radio app apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe.

With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was doing.

She was like, oh dad, all they were doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money. Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money. I'm like, oh, my God, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday

on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcasts. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, like LPGA superstar Angel Yen.

I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism, fierce competition, and a generation of women hell-bent on shanking that glass ceiling. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E,

on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, you guys. I'm Katherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm gearing up to make history, competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events, starting at the Indy 500.

Join me as I travel from racetrack to racetrack in my quest to continue a memorable career in racing. I'm also going to bring you inside stories with legends of sports, new faces from the next generation of auto racing, and conversations with the people who've supported me throughout my career. We'll be getting into everything from karting to NASCAR, even Formula One. Whether you dream about being a pro athlete or an astronaut, we're talking about what it takes to make it.

Listen to Throttle Therapy with Catherine Legg, an iHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. It's about never feeling good enough. I feel like I'm always failing. You'll learn how to handle relationships, how to be inspiring, and how to find your purpose.

We make it this big pie-in-the-sky thing, and then of course we're all frustrated because no one knows how to get there. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get there. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that too. The ability to approach somebody and make them experience desire for you

in minutes or even hours is a rare and rather unnecessary skill, historically speaking. The Happiness Labs How-To Season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, Andrew. Hey, Nick. So let's jump in right away and say to the listener, this is not, we already recorded the, the, what you already heard me talk about today was recorded

yesterday. And then we recorded a whole other podcast with Andrew on top of that yesterday. However, the recording was lost. So in, in the interest of, in the spirit of being honest across the board, this is exciting because Andrew and I did a podcast in person yesterday, our last one that we didn't even know did a podcast in person yesterday, our last one that we didn't even know at the time was going to be our last one together because I was assuming I was probably leaving on Wednesday, which is today when you guys are getting this, depending on when you're listening. But then I decided at the last minute yesterday to stay an extra week. Andrew decided to go back home and now he is in the airport in Miami on a seven hour layover. And we are

recording an episode that we didn't think we'd have to record, not in person, which is going to be this way for the next week. So let's just get started now. Andrew, how'd you sleep last night, buddy? You know, I never sleep well when I have to fly out early in the morning. I know. I literally, I'll set an alarm and I'll just think about how I missed a flight all night. I'll dream about it. I'll literally, I've missed a few flights in my life. But yeah, I made it. I went through customs.

I was a little nervous. I'm always nervous. I always think I have cocaine in my ass for some reason. I'm like, I got it in my ass. And the guy said, oh, this guy thought of it. The walk was like almost a mile. And I was like, why is the walk so long? And the guy's like, oh, so they could watch you and look at you while you're walking to customs.

Yeah, I know. Big state. Well, apparently if you're nervous going through customs, someone, I think Robin told me that she knows someone that works in customs. And they said, she's like, I'm always nervous going through, even though I have nothing to hide. Yeah. And she's like that you should be like that. They look for someone who's not nervous to be honest, because it's like good people.

It's like the same thing of like someone the other night at dinner goes, I'm so paranoid that I stink. I probably stink all the time. And I go, the fact that you're paranoid about it means you don't stay. People that stink are the ones that aren't paranoid. So if you're, if you're too cool, you're there's, you're probably guilty of something. And that stink are the ones that aren't paranoid. So if you're too cool,

you're probably guilty of something. And that is stinking. You've got poop up your butt, not cocaine. I literally did just buy deodorant after customs and I put it on in the bathroom while taking a shit. But neither here nor there. So you balanced out in there.

You got clean smelling pits and dirty asshole. Clean pits, dirty shits. That's what I say. So then I went to customs and he goes, well, what show were you on? What show were you doing? And I was like, I don't know. I was nervous.

I get nervous. And I was like, well, I signed an NDA. He's like, do you want to see America? And I was like, well, I'll tell you everything I need to know just don't look at my asshole because there's cocaine in there do you want to know how this show ends I'll give you that he's like no I just want to know the gist of it Jesus Christ you're like

okay so then there's going to be enough then everything changes there's a twist he's like don't tell me the twist spoiler alert and then you get into it and he goes actually this isn't my kind of show at all I'm not even going to be watching this I'd rather you not continue. I can't wait to tell you how he really reacted to it because I told him the title. Oh, hilarious.

He looked at me with almost disgust, like you don't even belong in this country. So that's when I heard the title, too. I reacted. That's why I did the show was because of the title. No, I can't wait to talk about it. Yeah, I can. I know. I can wait. No, of the title. I can't wait to talk about it. Yeah, I know. I can wait. No, I'm kidding.

I didn't even mean to say that. I go, I can wait. That's such a dick thing to say to someone that says, I can't wait. I can wait. I'm sure you... Yeah, listen, when people say I can't wait, most of the time I'm just like, yes, you can. And you're going to. It's just the dumbest thing to say.

So few times where you go, I can't wait. You know what? You should only say I can't wait before you jump into the action that you can't wait for. Yes. You know what I mean? Yes. Well, I can't wait. And then you dig into your meal.

100%. I think like I can't wait for these five months to be over. It's like you're going to because you're in jail. Well, you absolutely can and you will. Or you just if you really couldn't, then you'd like die. You know? Yeah. Or the people that go, I'm laughing so hard I can't even breathe.

It's like you're breathing. Before you kill yourself, you should say, I can't wait to die. Boom. And then it's like, that's like, wow, that was the only fair use of that term. Or that, you know, that it just got dark. Why do I take everything to suicide? The other night we were walking by a parking garage. And it was like this beautiful parking garage

in Caymana Bay, the mall out here, that it looks, at night it's just lit up so beautiful. And I am the happiest I've ever been in my life. There's no suicidal ideations floating around in this brain of mine. And that used to be a constant for me and it hasn't been for months and months and months. But the other night I was just like,

that would be the most beautiful parking garage to hurl yourself. And that's not even how I would do it. You know, like that's the last thing I would ever do. But it was just like, uh, I just, I go, I go there sometimes. Yeah. You don't want to jump off like an old, like rundown building if you're going to do, if you want to kill yourself.

I think you do. Why? No, because you just see the, that, that's probably the way you see the world is like gray concrete. It's like your brain is made of it when you're that depressed. So you don't even think about, oh, I want to go out looking at the sunset

or like, I don't think people actually make those choices with like that kind of stuff in mind. Yeah, that makes sense. You know? Yeah, I mean. I thought about it all way too much. Let's change the subject. But I swear to God, that was a thought that I go,

that's usually a sign that I'm not well, but I couldn't be weller. I mean, I decided to stay here an extra week. Yeah, you're E-Prey loving it down there. How's it going? How do you feel down there? Either E-Prey loving it and still I got a groove back or I'm just going to read that book

and watch that movie alone in my... I'm either going gonna live those lives or i'm just gonna like consume things um you know it's pretty great it's it's a little bit weird because i was i got a little depressed this morning as i was going to the grocery store and picking up the car and like getting things and being like oh i don't have andrew here to hang out with i um robin is sick from her um she had uh what's it called taken out yeah a wisdom tooth taken out and she's like hurling and she had to like come get me and she was like throwing up and had to come get me it was just like this I felt so bad but I have I don't even know what uber is here so I had no way to get go get the car that the place that you were staying at anyway I was feeling a little sad and then i remembered that when i told noah yesterday that i was staying an extra week she

goes is anyone gonna be there and i go yeah robin's still here and she goes oh good because i would have flown out and i was like am i that unstable that my friends are like she shan't be alone for a week no i have to follow up with that that's not what i meant it stuck in my head of like oh my god maybe my friends think i'm unstable and i shouldn't be left alone what was your for a week. No, I have to follow up with that. That's not what I meant. It's stuck in my head of like, Oh my God, maybe my friends think I'm unstable and I shouldn't be left alone. What was your reasoning behind that? Because it was so loving, but I just,

it, it flew into my brain. I was walking through the grocery house today. I was like, what does she mean by that? First I said I would take a boat because I don't think I can get it through. That seems even more urgent. Like I need to get this for her before she hurls herself off Caymana Bay.

You're taking a boat from Arizona you know it's a big deal. Well it's just to show how much effort I would make for you Nikki because I'm such a good friend to you. Like do you want to be there because you're like she can't be alone. No. Her mental health will deteriorate and then my

job will go away and then the show will go away. Is it kind of that? I'm seeing this from an outside perspective and you have had this amazing two months of working on this show you've been so happy and it ended abruptly so i see that as an ending and i wouldn't i know that i wouldn't want to be all alone even though i have the tendency to just want to be alone yeah so that's why i asked if andrew's not there, do you have another friend in case you just need some late night support

or anything like that? Totally. Well, you were my late night support the other day. I didn't have anyone to cry to about some stuff that I was processing. And Andrew just wasn't the person. And he was up in bed. Anya didn't pick up because she was my go-to.

Because you work on me and listen to my voice so much every day. Like, although you're on my list and like second on my list, I called Anya, she didn't pick up. Then I called and then you kind of know what my like, my life is here. Other friends I've been out of touch with. So it would have been too much to catch them up with.

But it was so nice because I got to call you and you just like were there for me so much. So I always know you're a phone call away and i don't really um the only thing i'm feeling is like i don't uh i want friends to hang out with like i want to be social so i'm just gonna go make some i have i have robin she's sick but i have uh another friend tony who i met on the show sally's down there she seems to have a sally i have like people i met on the show that i can reach out to and hang out with if i want but there's also like i went last night to there was like live music happening i was about to play guitar on my balcony but then i heard live music

right underneath me at the at the place we ate lunch at andrew that band was still playing they were amazing so i rushed down there and as i'm walking in i'm alone it's all like local people my age, like hanging out, having dinners, celebrating. I don't know, just no tourists. And the band literally stopped as I like walked in. They were like, we're done for the night. And they're packing up. It's so funny. I walked down there.

I was just going to sit at the bar and get a seltzer. I did the same exact thing as you because you were on that podcast. So I went down there and I was going to text you to come down because I did the same exact thing. I went inside at the bar and then literally 15 mosquitoes started biting me. And then everyone was getting hit by mosquitoes. And there were so many like cool people down there. It would have been a great hang to meet people. It was perfect.

And I was like, oh, wow. I know. I'm going to meet people. Nikki's going to meet people. So I leave. She's going to meet these cool other. Because that green thing that was going on, I'm going to meet people. Nikki's going to meet people, so I leave. She's going to meet these cool other... Because that green thing that was going on, there was

an Earth Day party going on, like two doors down from Nikki that the hotel put on, where the guy loves you there. It was a great way to meet people, like locals. Damn it. Anyways. We really fucked up. The point being, though, is the fact that I'm not there, that everyone's gone,

Robin has a tooth, whatever, you will eat, pray, love, right? Because you are going to be forced to freaking meet. Yeah, I'm very social. I don't have a problem getting in there and just mixing it up with the locals, chatting up boys. Because, yeah. I always thought that you did have problems

with being an extrovert like that or wanting to meet people. And then I've seen you recently with the people from the crew and like not thinking you're better than anyone and like just like really just like connecting with people like strongly. And it's been really cool to watch. And that was another reason why I was like, yeah, dude, she's going to fucking kill it down there.

And like I have no like worries or whatever, you know, like. Yeah. Thank you, Andrew. I appreciate that. I like I like worries or whatever you know like yeah thank you Andrew I appreciate that I like I do think that sometimes you say like I think that you need to hang out with regular people and get away from comics and I'm like all my friends are comics and I like regular people and that's why on the show I was so upset about the fact

that so many of the crew were told like don't talk to talent or just that's the culture of working in show business is like separate, like talent is special and they're like high maintenance. And if you say the wrong thing to them, you will be fired. So no one talks to me.

And then after we wrapped, I'm like, I made such good friends yesterday with all the crew celebrated for 20 with them in the way that I do every day. It was the kiss holiday. It's, it was so fun. And, um, and yeah, I, I'm every day. But it was so, it was the cutest holiday. It was so fun. And yeah, I'm going to make more friends and just, I like, yeah, I'm definitely, I'm like at a new school, but I also feel like the cool girl who knows who she is at a new school.

So I don't have this like, no one wants to be my friend. Like if you don't want to be my friend, then I probably don't want to be your friend. So let's just, I'll throw it out there. All right, let's get into the news. Live from the Miami airport and still the Grand Cayman. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. You heard it here first.

Yeah, you heard it here first. You did. You heard it here first. Live from Gate D7. We are here in Miami Airport. If you are here right now listening, I have left. Don't go look for me. But, man, we got some great headlines.

I hope you're having fun out there as much as one. You honestly might still be there. You are on a long way over, mister. Yeah, it was kind of crazy. And also, have all the swells, everybody. Oh, yeah. Don't forget. Yeah, don was kind of crazy. And also have all the swells, everybody. Oh, yeah. Don't forget. Yeah, don't forget that. Yeah, no, I got in here at noon from my Cayman flight,

and my next flight leaves at 7.50 at night. But you know what? I haven't flown in so long, I don't even give a fuck. It's when you're flying a lot where you get annoyed with airports. I'm like, I'm chilling. Anyways, that being said, first story here. Multiple studies have shown that fish lose their memory as they age. Fish are social and remember their friends.

Fish can be impatient. Fish feel pain. And even fish really like cocaine. Whoa. Okay, all I got from that was fish feel pain. Listen up, people. fish feel pain listen up people if you um think that fish are just these dead-eyed like like making that gulping face and they're just like almost insects because they don't have any personality or whatever you clearly don't know my fish you don't know my that's from best in show

when uh parker posey's character is yelling about the dog. She's trying to find a dog toy for her dog and she goes to the store. Have you seen that movie? I don't think so. And the dog, she's like,

we need to find a bumblebee for my dog. She's like this obnoxious Manhattanite who met her husband at a Starbucks and he was at a Starbucks but they were Starbucks

across the street from each other. You know. Anyway, she's screaming at this guy and then he's like offering a toy that has the same colors as the toy that she's looking for

for her dog. And she's like, he doesn't want this. What is this? It's like a dumb bumblebee. And he's like, well, it has the same colors that she goes,

you obviously don't know my dog. I mean, seriously, like if you haven't partied with a barracuda on Molly, you haven't lived, you know? That's what I always say. I mean, that would be, barracuda on molly you haven't lived you know that's what i always say i mean that would be barracuda actually aren't like what you think they're not they're not gonna like turn your body into a skeleton smiling skeleton within like five minutes after the

water splashes a bunch yeah i do i do love i do love uh like the idea of fish on cocaine like like they're already pretty. Actually, I've seen a lot of those fish by the restaurant. They just sat there waiting for food. Oh, tarpon. Yeah, for hours. I did a great impression of it. You just kind of.

I mean, yes. You just move slowly. That's a fish on Xanax. They do look like they're in Xanax. Tarpon are so funny. I posted a video of them on my story. Noah, I'm going to send you another tarpon video to put it on our story. So people understand tarpon are so creepy.

The way they just like kind of float and they look like little submarines, like big submarines actually. And they just float around. But most fish, yeah, they do have a cokie vibe. I never really did coke, even though it sounds like I'm on it today. I've done coke. My hand gets very limp. I bite my lip.

I sweat profusely. A few buttons come down. I get on the dance floor and I feel like Enrique Iglesias. And I tell women that I am Enrique Iglesias. Meanwhile, I'm like gnawing on their neck and being like, oh, you want this man, this sexy man. And they're like, and meanwhile, I'm just standing alone in the corner talking to a bottle of belvedere you know like i'm just yeah i'm a fucking mess a goddamn mess and i miss it when would you realize that you looked like that like

did you see video of yourself or like would the next morning would you be like i remember feeling that way and there's just no way that looked good or do you see other people in coke and that's how they behave like i don't even know how people on Coke behave because people on Coke are so fucking mysterious about it because you can't consume it in public. So you can't go, Oh, he just started acting more weird after he did that line. Like,

you know, when people drink, you go, Oh, he did those shots. And then it all like adds up. But people on Coke just suddenly, I just never know.

And people who do Coke talk to each other in like this code. Like I've never even been asked if I've done coke. And I literally talk as fast as a person on coke. So why aren't coke people being like, you want to go to the bathroom? Or maybe they are and I'm just not picking up on it. What's going on? Well, I mean, it depends what kind of coke head. If you're like a full-on coke head, you become normal.

It normalizes. You're just taking it to get normal. Me, on the other hand, doing coke once every three months, it's a different ballgame. That's when you start sweating and fighting. But why aren't Coke people offering me Coke? I want to be offered cocaine and I'll turn it down. But I'm just, why do people, some people know who to talk to about that and others don't? I never know when it's happening. I'll find out months later. Oh, everyone was on Coke at that party. I'm like, what? Why wasn't I at least offered? I'm looking at it's happening. I'll find out months later. Oh, everyone was on coke at that party. I'm like, what? By the way, I'm looking at you right now. You're wearing

a sleeveless rock and roll shirt, a turquoise heart and pink glasses with blonde hair. You look like the lead singer of Poison right now and I would give you so much coke. Someone screenshot this right now, Noah. If you aren't, just make full

screen screenshot. I couldn't look like I do coke more. If you aren't, just make full screen screenshot. I couldn't look like I do Coke more. If you showed up at customs, they would throw you right into a jail cell. Literally a whole family came out of nowhere. Yeah, what happened there? I heard a... There's literally a whole family. It's just...

I was alone until now. I can't believe you're doing an award-winning podcast at a gate. I mean, we haven't won them yet, but I'm just predicting. I'm manifesting this shit. So, okay. Fish can feel pain. I wanted to put that out there just in case you thought that you were eating something that doesn't care. People always go, oh my God, the fish is flopping around. Look at the fish's body movements when it's in air, you guys, when it's above water. Just recall that when it's flopping on the line. Think of how you

would look if you were drowning in the sea and you were stuck underwater and couldn't breathe. What body movements would you make? Oh, similar ones? Yeah. It's not just flopping around. It's so funny. It's being smothered slowly. Just remember that. Next story. story man i'm about to jump

off a cool building you got nothing in there you're you're you're safe in a terminal so you're not i know i can really bum you out no you don't bum me out i think a lot of people write comments and they love the how much you're an activist and i appreciate it i really do will i stop eating salmon i don't know try to get through it fast. No, you won't. But listen, these little nuggets that I leave along the way, if someone's on the teetering on veganism or just trying to be vegan one meal a week, I'm like, that's awesome. Do what you can. Just, I want people to be aware of it and not just be in denial. I'm in denial about so much stuff that I just don't want to face because it's too hard and daunting. You need to chip away at it slowly, slowly, slowly.

So yeah, offer me cocaine if you see me at a party just to make me feel welcome. That's the gist of it. And offer me a sushi roll. That's what I really wanted to say. Yeah. With a fish that's been doing cocaine. Made from a fish that's been high in experiments done by scientists who wrote the article that we just read. That hand will get real limp, boy. Limp hand roll. I'm sorry. I'm just telling everyone a whole family just sat next to me.

I apologize if you hear them talking about... Well, we don't hear them at all. Oh, really? These microphones are dope. Okay. All right. There's a whole family staying with me too. And I don't talk about it. I invited just to cut the cost of this hotel room.

Smart. Heady. Manhattan to stop prosecuting prostitution, dismissing cases, dating back decades. I mean, decades is pretty incredible. Over the last decade. Why are there any dates dating back decades? Why are there any? That's what people are just stuck in jail because no movement has happened on their case.

Yeah. For decades. Why hasn't something been decided decades ago? Or I guess it's just washed from your record. Yeah. Over the last decade, we've learned from those with lived experience and from our own experience, criminally prosecuting prostitution does not make us safer and too often achieves the opposite result by further marginalizing vulnerable New Yorkers. Wow.

I mean, that's so like forward thinking. I mean, in Europe, they do that all the time. I don't have the money. I mean, I'd be broke by Wednesday. Yeah, I really hope they make it legal and regulated. And if someone wants to have, if someone can have, if a woman can have sex safely with men for money, I have no issue with that. None. And if she can do that and like not, and, and feel, and it's something about like porn stars feel sexy all the time. Like they love sex.

They like, it's like comedy for me or like talking for me, you know,. They love sex. It's like comedy for me or talking for me. A lot of them love sex as much as I love talking. And they just found a way to do what they love all the time. And sometimes it sucks. Sometimes I don't want to do a podcast. Sometimes I don't want to perform stand-up comedy. But for the most part, I landed on something I love. So if you're able to do that as a woman, I couldn't, but if you are fucking just let them do it. Also comedy could be just as ugly, like a 17 year old at an open mic. I mean, that's, that's very sad stuff. You know, you've seen that a teenager trying to do jokes. It can ruin lives. Yes. But yes, keep it. Don't do comedy or prostitution until you're of age.

Of course you have nothing to share with anyone when you're a young comic. Well, no, start whenever you want. But prostitution, of course. This just, I don't know all the facts about this, but it seems like a step in the right direction. Well, I mean, in Amsterdam and stuff, it's like, it's legalized. It's like the whole stigma is gone from it. And these, I don't know.

I mean, do the women love it? I don't know if they love it. They just look at it as a job. Just like if you were putting together a car. Yeah, if you worked at the fucking grilled cheese factory. Didn't you work at a grilled cheese place? And wouldn't you have rather been? Well, I fucked a few sandwiches.

Yeah. I mean, who hasn't? You know, that was the number four. Yeah. Special sauce. This whole family's staring at me, guys. I know. I mean, that is ridiculous that you just said all of that next to a family with young children.

My family's cool because they are Yugoslavian, so they don't even understand English. The ones I have seen. Can I be honest? These guys are Spanish, so I'm good. Okay, good. You might be good. Although, a lot of Spanish-speaking people speak English as well, like perfectly. You are very naive to assume that they are

monolingual. I'm listening to them. I could hear them. They're just speaking. Okay, you're right. You're right. But they might also understand English. Fine. I won't say quattro. Pfft. The number of quattro. Numero quattro. Yeah. Okay. Next story. No, wait a second. I think that's all I wanted to say. There's one other thing about prostitution and sex that I wanted to say. And I want it to be available to men who can't get laid otherwise and maybe need to get it out

of the way. And I think that there's so often men write me and they're like i'm a virgin i'm 35 and i'm like go to an escort be like just tell her the truth she'll be like grateful that she's not with some guy who thinks he knows what he's doing you know like uh that's a great point that's a great point that's not that's very marginal amount of the people using escort like the very tiniest sliver yeah but not but not just virgins like guys like incels if there was no stigma around it they could just go be with a woman realize it's okay it's not the best thing incels are a different thing because they have a i don't even want to talk about incels because they scare me so much, but their hatred for women is so deep that a little visit to a prostitute

is maybe not the safest thing for her or them to engage in, because it's just, I don't know. I'd like to talk to an expert about incels and prostitution, whether that helps or makes it worse. Gotcha. But who knows? Let's get to, why do I care? And by the way, when I but who knows let's get to why do i care and by the way when i said who knows someone does know i don't know

okay why do you care nikki nikki why do you care about this honestly i read this story last night and i had a lot of different thoughts on it but and it was interesting i was thinking about what your thoughts were going to be okay debbie Lovato is facing a frozen yogurt backlash after saying the Big Chill has a triggering menu. So the Big Chill, so you know it well. You were saying it's a yogurt store in LA. Can I take this from here? Yeah, please do.

Okay, the Big Chill is a yogurt studio, a yogurt shop in Los Angeles. I forget the cross streets, but I used to go to this place sometimes twice a day. I have been absolutely addicted to frozen yogurt as many anorexic women have been. Even if you're not anorexic, you switch over to just eating yogurt all the time. When you go to these places, you see other anorexic women they're almost like uh it's an embarrassing thing that i would i would have to go in secret because i would have to get more than i would like i would i would know which shifts people were on so that the same person wouldn't see me there twice like it was an obsession so this yogurt is like it's called it's carbo light

was the kind i got and it has um like something like 11 calories per ounce. So you can get a gigantic thing of yogurt that's just chemicals. I mean, there's no base. There's no food in it. And you can eat a ginormous amount with very little calories. And so I would just eat this. This is all I would eat. I mean, it was all I would crave. It was all I wanted. And I am not alone here. So many women I know listening right now, you're addicted to frozen yogurt. I know you are. Yeah. Cause it's like the closest thing you can get to eating air. I know. Oh, I know. It comes up easy when you throw up. If you want to do that too. I know that too. This is a place that is definitely feeding an anorexic population. There are families that go there and

get their diet you know people partake in diet culture and don't go overboard with it but these foods that are sugar-free carb-free calorie-free uh the and then and then this yogurt place was what demi lovato's issue was that she wanted to get yogurt they also have like sugar flavors but they are like no one's it's it's not that it's like when the she wanted to get yogurt. They also have sugar flavors, but they are like... It's like when the dad has to go with the woman, the wife that he's buying gigantic tubs of yogurt. She can

take them home. She can have them, wake up in the middle of the night and eat them. I know the drill. So on your way to the register, there's just tons of diet foods all over the racks because they realize these anorexic women need a supplier for all this stuff and there's nowhere to get this shit it's all like very kind of you could probably get it on amazon but it's just like a one-stop shop for

diet foods pretty much anorexic foods none of these have nutritional values they say like keto shit but that's all bullshit um every anorexic knows you're not looking for nutrition. You're looking for the least amount of calories. And this place supplies it. So Demi Lovato is someone who suffered with eating disorders, called this place out and said, I wanted to get frozen yogurt. And I was triggered by every fucking, I have to walk through aisles and aisles of all this diet stuff.

Here's the thing. Demi, don't go to that place. There's many other places to go get your yogurt, much like places are selling cigarettes still. And some people are non-smokers, even though that's a much easier habit to kick than an eating disorder. And don't even write, if you want to know about that, read Alan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking. But yeah, don't go to bar if you used to drink. Don't go to, you know, this is, that to me is like, yes, this person, they are able to do this and don't call them out. But I have to say, the people that go to those places, the anorexic women that

are pissed off and going, I go to that place all the time, four days a week, you have a problem probably. There's no reason to consume this yogurt unless it's like a treat. And this is coming from someone who's just consumed it every day, multiple times lived on it. Never wanted to hear someone tell me what I'm telling you. It's diet culture. It's disgust. It's, it's, uh, it's making money off of your disease. You have a disease probably. some like the the different things that come in some of the acts or whatever yeah well there's gluten-free ice cream that doesn't also have called carbo light written with l-i-t-e i would just say you're in denial if you're eating so much of this but if you are getting your gluten-free thing they have they carry a certain thing that you actually love and you don't binge on get fucking go get there and get it i don't i don't have a problem with the big jill i don't have a problem with these companies making the diet food they They are capitalizing off of women who are

addicted to this stuff, much like I was protein bars. I gave more money to organe protein bars over the past five years or six years of my life than maybe I'm in the top 1% of people. I bought more than grocery stores. I bought more product from them than grocery stores because it was all i ate so to to deny that they're actually benefiting off of people who have eating disorders and are diseased is false they know it but that doesn't mean they have to stop because you know anhydrous or bush beer companies well yeah companies it's all they're profiting off of addiction and disease when i do i don't have any problem with anyone the only problem i had was was calling out a business when you have 100 million followers. Here's the thing.

I get it. I get it. And I empathize. But I would think go after the people that are actually making a diet food, not a small business, especially during COVID. It's a woman-owned business. It's been there 36 years. It's doing just fine. The funny thing is there's no bad press.

It went from 6,000 followers on Instagram to 30,000. This place is going to... It was like a clarion call to anorexic women. Hey, they have all the stuff that you can't find anywhere and you can only get at that one CVS in Alameda that you drive out to

because they have the type of sugar-free gum that no one else sells. I've been there before. I go to, I used to do the weirdest fucking things with food. So this place used to be like, if I type in a T on my Google Maps, the big chill will fill in, even though I haven't been there in three years. I used to go there every fucking day. I know the people that work there. I know how much it is.

I know what kind of sprinkles they have during the fall season. They have little maple leaf sprinkles. During Easter, they have little Easter bunny sprinkles. Obsessed with this place. Loved it. They're not going to be hurt. Demi Lovato is hurt. She is angry that she is... And she came out

and apologized for it. Yeah, she was just in a moment. Yeah, she was in a moment. And she didn't have a moment yeah she was in a moment and she didn't have a weekend to think about whether or not to announce that statement she just had her phone in her hand and she was disgusted and i bet she did it while she was in line all right let's get to the segment of the day reddit dump this is where i go through my reddit on all my saved uh posts that i liked that somebody else posted this was was in the subreddit Nostalgia, which I love. Go through Nostalgia on Reddit, the subreddit Nostalgia. You guys will be hit

in the nostalgia, which is a phrase that I didn't even understand until I started following Nostalgia. I got my sister into it. So many things from our childhood, different generations. Some stuff doesn't hit. Some stuff you're like, I have not thought about that thing since 1993. And it makes... I can taste it. It's amazing. Okay. So I found this, though. This isn't really one of those. But Courtney Cox was the first person to say period on American television in a 1985

advertisement issued by Tampax. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Did your life change once a month because of your period? What? She said period. Holy shit. Yeah. She's like looking 80s in a locker room. I'm going to be the first guy to do a commercial and of your period. Whoa! Okay, I got you. Yeah, I did. She said period! Holy shit. Yeah, she's like looking 80s in a locker room. I'm going to be the first guy to do a commercial and say anal fissure. You could be the spokesman for, what's the stuff that you love for your butt?

Oh, my God. Recticare? Are you kidding me? Recticare. It's changed my life. If you're out there, folks, and you have a hurt asshole or a burning asshole or if it bleeds sometimes when you shit and you're really sad about it, throw RectiCare on.

This is not a paid ad. I promise you will change your life. It is the best thing ever. It's Novocaine for your asshole. It will change your life. You'll be able to take a tooth out of your asshole. You'll be able to rip your teeth out through your butthole and feel fine. Okay.

Like, listen, you guys, I always tell people about RectiCare because I know what, um, happiness it has brought my friend Andrew. Okay sorry so go ahead so yeah talking about this is another one called ask reddit there's a subreddit called ask reddit which i love people just pose really interesting questions that people ask this question was what was supposed to be the next big

thing but totally flopped and i just want to read some of the answers people said amazon shopping buttons they pushed really hard for those and I never saw the point. I don't remember those. I think those are the ones that you're supposed to buy and then you hit them. You put them next to your detergent and when you run out, you hit it and it just orders it again. It's like a dog with a treat. It's like a dog would do that. You know

what I mean? You know when dogs do that when they hit the button to get food? Oh, yes. Yes. That's what that is. McDonald's pizza, someone said. I don't remember that. Soap shoes. These were like normal shoes, but you could grind on rails with them via an indent in the sole. If you heard of these things from somewhere that wasn't Sonic Adventure 2, please tell me where.

And please tell me where I can buy a pair. Do you remember soap shoes? I don't. I do. I remember grinding shoes, where shoes you could grind on. So I don't know technically soap, but grinding shoes for sure. Yeah. Okay. Um, and then someone's okay. So let's go to the next one. Ooh, this is a good one. This is from the subreddit dating, which always has good dating advice, questions,

and stories. This person said, I thought I'd been ghosted, but as it would turn out, he just passed away over the weekend. And I didn't know until three days afterwards. So this girl, I read the whole thing. She leads a whole thing. I mean, she did get ghosted. So this guy, she'd been dating for three months. She'd met his family. He went on a trip and didn't tell her about it. And then over the weekend and she never heard from him. She found they didn't

really... Oh, she didn't meet his family yet. But she found out through Facebook of a distant cousin or something that he was dead. And now she's like, I can't really mourn him because no one who he knew knew me yet. I hadn't met everyone. We'd been casually dating. We were about to probably become official. And so I feel weird reaching out and wanting to go to the funeral.

No one knows who I am, even though I was having sex with this person. I mean, it's tragic. Yeah. out and wanting to go to the funeral like no one knows who i am even though i was having sex with this person i mean it's tragic yeah i mean yeah if you're crying at a funeral and no one knows who you are you know it's like people are like what and then you're like i was dating him and he's like well he had a family and a wife and you're like just kidding lay peace cook right yeah wrong funeral sorry i did it now oh is this dave that's why open caskets are important so you can like see the person and you can blow them. I remember Nick Swartzen had a joke that he wanted to hire John Stamos to show up at his funeral and just start crying. And people would be like, is that John Stamos like weeping violently in the corner?

Like, did Nick know John Stamos? Like, how funny would that be? Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, that's great. Okay, here's a one from subreddit meditation. And it says, I will share with you the secret trick to stopping inner monologue. It says, hey, everyone, I've been meditating for over 12 years and could never rein in my turbulent inner monologue.

It never stopped for more than a few seconds at most. And I even started believing that it was not supposed to. But that would make concentration meditation impossible. And we know that it isn't. Anyway, here's the information for all of you with love focusing on peripheral vision stops inner monologue look anywhere softly gently focus on what you see in the corners of your eyes that's it that's all you have to do and your inner monologue stops you want to try it right now i'm doing it right now i'm seeing the family let's all be quiet for a second and just listen to the voice in our heads

like look forward don't don't do the peripheral vision. Now do peripheral vision. Like look straight, but then concentrate on what's on the edge and it stops your inner monologue and it's tracks. People are commenting on this. Like, Holy fuck.

To me, it didn't really do anything noticeable, but I wanted to share that in case it helps someone else. All right. And then let's round it out here. Um, this may be laughed so hard. This was in,

uh, this was in, um, this was in, uh, uh, subreddit videos. And this is a news report where a woman is,

uh, you know, asking people about the lottery that is happening in their town. And it's a huge power ball. And just listen to this. This is the picture of the guy. Okay, so just picture him. He's in a ski cap.

He looks about 38. He's a little gaunt. And he's just like, but he's kind of hot. Hold on, here we go. We're here at the line where people are doing it the old fashioned way. They're just filling out bubbles here. I want to turn some of these people around and ask you guys, sir, can I ask you what your lucky numbers are?

I'm going to pick 14, 24, 2, 7, and 15. Those are your lucky numbers. Can I tell you what? Do you know your chances of winning? Slim to none. Slim to none. You're right. Let me tell you.

It's one out of 292 million. What do you think about that? I knew it. You knew it. knew it your numbers are lucky though am i right can i ask you if you want all the money what would you do with it bunch of hookers and cocaine oh okay that's not good what is this guy a barracuda different answer that's probably not the answer that we're looking for laugh afterwards. I legit love that guy. I think he's hot

too. It was so funny. Anyway, Reddit is full of this stuff and I love just sharing this stuff with you guys. Final thought, before my computer dies. Yeah, a guy with 150 million hookers and cocaine, he'd be dead in three weeks. Dead.

He just starts eating fish and moves to New York. He gets cocaine and hookers. Legal. Final thought, Andrew. I'm excited to do the podcast with you from afar. This one worked out for us. I also want to say thank you to everyone who's been listening to the podcast. And please do not write to me in my dms i love the podcast

but um you will not get your dm opened i don't like butts i don't want any criticism at all and i know that's not like easy sometimes maybe you can send criticism through the reviews because i haven't been reading those because i just know that there's too much waiting for me there or you can send it into the nikki glazer pod uh or the the Nikki Glaser podcast at gmail I'm also Noah will read those but seriously your criticisms are not going to be addressed I mean I'll maybe see a little bit of what you guys don't like that I'm doing but I would rather you just like not listen then tell me what I'm doing wrong and how I'm not like a good person or what, like the butts. Yeah. No one. But if it's like slight things, then it's nice.

But like, I'm not going to change. No one, no one likes the obvious compliment to a, to a critique. We all see it coming. We see the critique coming. I see it's a fake compliment because you're just setting it up.

So you don't feel bad about yourself to do a fucking critique. I just go, you know what that should be followed by? I like the podcast. But it's even better than I thought. I'm amazed that it's free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that I don't have a place to tell you anything because it's actually free. I love the podcast.

Isn't that weird? I can't wait for it to come out tomorrow. I just want to remind people the podcast is free. Do you not realize that? It's free for you. So just want to remind people the podcast is free. Like, do you not realize that like it's free for you? So just stop listening. But the thing is people, this isn't most people, most people are seeing the loveliest things and I'm not perfect. I'm not always going to be the, your favorite person. You, people that you love are sometimes going to disappoint you. So if you're a fan of mine and I say something that you're like, I fucking don't like that,

maybe enlighten me about it. I kind of like that stuff. But if it's just a really little critique, I don't really need it. And I'm not perfect. And I don't think I do everything right. And I say dumb shit all the time. And I really do apologize if I ever offend anyone. It is never my intent. I want everyone to like me. You know that. But I also want us all to be happy. But I also say some stupid stuff sometimes. But I don't need you to write me about it. I know I'm stupid. Here's the thing, Nikki. You are stupid.

Thank you. No, I'm very ignorant about a lot of stuff. Go down to the pool bar and find yourself a fucking gentleman or not. But maybe do it and have sex on a jet ski for me and Noah and for all your fans out there. I am going to go on a jet ski. And the jet ski guys, I was feeling the all your fans out there i am gonna go on a jet ski and the jet ski guys i was feeling the vibe yesterday they're very chill they just sit out underneath the umbrella for weeks do you guys want to celebrate 420 for the rest of our lives dude it's tattooed on my

lips yeah i'm uh you know you know me i'm not gonna be having any sex here but uh yeah i might get uh do some dry humping on a jet ski go deep but it's gonna be wet that throttle uh yeah i'm gonna just go like cuddle with a starfish even though you can't touch them and i won't touch them but i would i would go hug some stingrays again that felt really good they like are so sweet oh i need an right, guys. Thank you for listening to the podcast. We'll be back tomorrow. Andrew will be back in St. Louis where he will begin working on getting our podcast into

video format, which will be available for you guys soon enough. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for listening. We love you. Thank you for being our best friends. Andrew, anything else? I just want to give a quick shout out to the Miami Airport Wi-Fi. You did a great job. Thank you so much. Yes. Oh, my God. Really, seriously, kudos to the Airport Wi-Fi. You did a great job. Thank you so much. Yes. Oh, my God.

Like, really, seriously, kudos to the Miami Wi-Fi. Like, it's better. Kudos. K. All right. Bye, guys. See you tomorrow. K.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines exclusive extended interviews and more now this is a second term we can all get behind listen to the daily show ears edition on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts