The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #190 Karate Chop w/ Anya Marina

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Nikki and Andrew are joined by BFF and tourmate Anya Marina. Nikki discusses her time babysitting her nephew and giving a 3 hour performance. Nikki and Anya review Love Is Blind 2 but Andrew has a pitch for a spinoff, Love is Deaf. You Heard It Here First: checkout Nikki, Andrew and Anya on tour, elevator etiquette and another embarrassing moment caught on Zoom. They get into the habit of eating their own bodies then cover bad words on Top 1 Bottom 1. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts people my people what's up this is quest Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far.

I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson.

Listen to many questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Woman sports production in partnership

with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. studio with me is Andrew Collin. Welcome up to the 12th floor. Hey man, it's good to be up this high. I'm on the third floor kicking it where the normal people hang out. What's going on with your hair today, buddy? I want you to get

a good side profile for the people watching on YouTube. Go all the way to the side. Look all the way that way. Just zoom into that, please, whoever's editing the video. Something's going on. Did you put a product in? A while ago.

There is product in here. I don't know if it's active. When does product stop being active? What kind of product? A food product? Yes, mayonnaise with a little bit of oregano. You know, whatever. I mean, I know that you bought a pomade or a kind of a mousse, a curl cream.

You got there. Yeah, a curl cream is what we found. A curl enhancer. Yes. Which I like to do is congealing. That's what you do when you do the curls. You put the curl enhancer in and you put your wet hair. If you want to get curls with your straight,

like if you have kinky hair, girls, that have curl in it but it's not curly curly, you wet your hair. You make sure your hands run through it. You piece it out with your fingers. You dump it in the sink and you dip it in water in the sink and then you congeal. Yes. You put the curl cream in your hair and then you squish and you make sure that they don't

get, they stay in place. Do you congeal? Which I did last night. Yeah. I fell asleep with it perfectly congealed. Yeah. Exactly. It looks like a wet dog after he shook just twice.

I hate when you just go to bed with it. It's almost dry to the point where it's gonna look good and then you go to bed oh there's nothing worse with it i mean this hair needs to be seen by one person or one other person yeah anyway so yeah i had it all curled up and then i woke up today i thought we were recording with our lovely guest anya marina yes by the way anya marina is joining us not just for the theme song, but she is live via Zoom. Hi, Anya. In Woodstock, right?

Hey, guys. No, I guess I'm in the Hudson Valley. I'm close to Woodstock. Yeah, close enough. Get me out of here. Anya's in Arizona. We're representing almost every time zone. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, we are. All of us are wearing our Nikki Glaser swag, and Nikki's wearing my T-shirt. Yeah, I'm wearing. We discussed this earlier. Anya's shirt. That's wild. Look at us. That's pretty cute of us. Speaking of merch,

there's a new page of merch that you can get hats and shirts. You go to Podmerch, is that right? Podshop. Podshop. Podshop.nikkiglaser.com to check out the new Nikki nicki glazer podcast merchandise which i did an announcement of on thursday where i said that i was i like made it sound like i was

announcing i was pregnant and it was like so real like i really sold it noah when you listened i mean you knew what i was recording when you listened to it did you even get the sense that like maybe i was telling you something even though you know what the announcement was i thought you were using it as like a way to like tell me what the the thing that you were going for i don't want to ruin it for people who haven't heard it but i was like wait a minute listen to that announcement did she what what's happening i really fooled people i mean you're gonna be like the girl that cried baby. I know. I know. I don't think you should joke about those things.

But I'm okay with not having kids after my weekend. I babysat for Arlo on Friday, and I'm good. That's all it took? Three hours. Yeah. It was 9 to 12. It felt like 9 11. that's short it was so it was so difficult and it was only one plane for both kids he it was only

one one oh one child poppy would have like offset it a little bit because it would have been like they could have each other to like feed off of their energy because I was, you know, I guess it's different when you're a parent. You can kind of like they can do their own thing like in your house. Like you don't have to watch them constantly. But he needed constant like my attention. It was like being on stage. I related it. I was talking about it to someone and I was like, oh, my God.

It was like I didn't have time to take a sip of water. I didn't have time to go to the bathroom. I didn't have time to eat. There was nothing that I could do to take care of myself. It was like I was on for three hours of like listening, active listening, active talking, voices, crazy. And like doing and it was like doing the same joke over and over and over because God forbid you make a kid laugh one time with a thing. They again, again.

And then they start crying. If you like, don't do it again. It was so finally we ran out of stuff to like actively do within about 20 minutes. Like that wasn't TV. And he was like, Oh,

watch TV. And I was like, thank God. And I'm like, are you caught up on the bachelor? And he's like, no, I would prefer to watch autistic men color in anime.

Oh, wow. Or like Pokemon. That is The Bachelor, actually. It was a competition. This season. He's obsessed. He knows exactly what he wants. Kids know screens.

And he was like, I want Pokemon drawing. And I typed in Pokemon drawing. Sure enough, the first thing that comes up, he's like, I want Pokemon drawing. And I typed in Pokemon drawing. Sure enough, the first thing that comes up, he's like, that one. And we watch a man color in Pokemons for an hour. No. Just a rhythm. There's like music behind it. No talking, but just like drawing hundreds of Pokemon.

How was that? That must have been easy then. You would think. But it's like, what's that one? And that's the Charmander. Watch it. Watch it. If he even sensed that I was on my phone.

You can't be on your phone. I like that kids are paying attention to your attention. Like, no, no. Get off your phone. Watch this with me. I am constantly watching you to make sure i was watching it was nuts i would i would think that there should be a uh i learned a lot about a kid's kid's voices need to get lower quicker they are up here i think they are because of all the

all the testosterone and like yeah is there any part of you that's like Insulted that he's entertained by Pokemon Maybe more than by you Well There's not much I was very happy that I couldn't I'm happy to just admit My strengths My house doesn't have that many toys

I was scouring for anything that we could make He was here It was an away game If we were at his place We could have played games But there was not He was here. It was an away game. So we didn't have, if we were at his place, yeah, we could have played games. But there was just not a lot to do. It was so cold outside, we couldn't really hang out and go for walks and stuff.

And I gave him some presents. I got him in Mexico and he didn't care for those. And so that ran out quickly. And so then it was Pokemon time. And what I did learn, though, is that Pokemon, watching people people draw is soothing and kind of cool and i learned i learned pokemon's names like i learned about pokemon and his encyclopedic

knowledge of these pokemon's names as a four-year-old is so impressive because they're weird names you know that don't really make sense. And they would start drawing, like, the fucking tail of it or even the ear, and he would be like, the only one I remember now is Charmander. Like, Jigglypuff. Like, he would just know right away. And it's not like he can read and see, like, Jigglypuff. That's Jigglypuff.

He's just from hearing it. Kids' memories are insane. Yeah. Like, I don't even, they know way more than I do. Very quickly. Like, my nephew Augie knows more about dinosaurs than, like, a person that works at a museum. I'm telling, it's wild. Yes, yes.

And the long names, like the Technic, like, once you've never even, you're like, no, they never found his fossil. Were you good at anything? No. When you were a kid, like. I put in curl gel once. Yeah. It's still in. It's still in from when I was a baby boy. You used to wipe it on your carpet. I put it in curl gel once. It's still in. It's still in from when I was a baby boy.

You used to wipe it on your carpet. Now it's in your hair. But here's... That's a 99 episode ham drip. Ham drip. You could use him though like once every two weeks for material. You know, you could make a whole hour

about being like... It was interesting to be put back 9-11 joke oh thank you i hope that's in the next hour yeah that's just right off the dome um i used to have a joke about babysitting and how it's like it's hard because it's like you're a mother but you also don't love them yes um i do love arlo but obviously not as much as a parent would but i love him more than kids i was babies just randomly babysit for but it brought me back to 2009 the last time i babysat it was my number one thing that i used to do for income before comedy like took over and i dropped out of babysitting before i could even pay my bills with comedy i mean i was just like i can't do it anymore because it and i was reminded of it

with this three-hour stretch of just looking at the clock, like, when is my mom coming to get him? Because I can't keep doing these bits over and over. For a while, we were doing bits with these. Did you try giving him, like, Z-Quil and a Klonopin? Andrew. Like, drug him, you know? He wasn't hungry. Oh, you tried.

So I tried to wrap it in ham and massage his throat. Is he interested in the dog at all? Can that be a distraction? I mean, Luigi lives with him a lot, so no. He's just over it right away. And what's there to do with the dog? I don't know how kids fucking entertain themselves before toys and media and all this stuff. It really is fascinating cartoons no but i mean like back in like days like where they just had like a wooden cup and they would have like a ball attached to a string and they try to get the ball in the cup

yeah or you become mozart or something you give them something to write you know some or one soccer ball something makes me want to shake him and just go learn an instrument now like start learning now you got someone You could do anything. Sounds like you're yelling at yourself. You could literally do anything. You're like, Nikki! I just know that. Nikki, you can love Pokemon.

There is no way, no way that I would ever be able to accomplish anything new or like a new hobby if I had kids. No way. Unless I hired, you know, did the thing where i hired nannies and then i would be like just filled with guilt constantly i'm filled with guilt when i leave luigi for four hours i the whole time i'm doing anything else it's there's a under like there's just a stream of guilt of my dog being alone and just like looking at the door. I wouldn't be able to function. Just I just. Well, that's why people become like stage moms because they're like, I can't learn anything new.

Let me put my kid with a bunch of pedophiles and have him. Yes. Anya, how. Wait. So I want to promote your dates. You're coming to New York to do a show at Rockwood. I really want besties to come out if they're in the New York area. Can you tell us all the details?

Yeah. Thursday, St. Patrick's Day, which was a great choice on my part. It's going to be annoying. No, but it's an early show. You can come to Rockwood. I think doors open at six. I play at seven. You can get out of there and go to the bar with your friends or whatever you want to do.

It's Rockwood Stage 3, which is on orchard street and i'm playing an hour set and i have a special guest matt pond pa so matt and chris from matt pond pa are gonna do um like 20 minutes nice and i think it's their last show before they form a new band which i can't announce the name but i'm excited for them they're coming out with a new record new band, which I can't announce the name, but I'm excited for them. They're coming out with a new record, new band name, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I've been talking to Matt about that. That's the name?

Yeah, blah, blah, blah. That actually would be a great name. It's not a bad name. How good is Chick Chick Chick? Wait, what is it? There was a band called Chick Chick Chick that was just three exclamation points. They played Coachella or something.

So maybe blah blah blah chick chick chick Dixie chicks my boyfriend does not use exclamation marks in text ever he won't write an exclamation mark I don't blame her it just is it just is now it's almost like his

thing where he's just like I won't do another night he had to put in like a password to get on fucking oh we watched love is blind to get on Netflixflix and it's like i have an exclamation mark in the password and i was like and i'm sorry to tell you this but you have to write an exclamation mark and he was like will you come over here do it it was just kind of it was it was always like the killing of a spider of a girlfriend like i have to do that for him and he is which by the way no one has to kill a spider for me because I don't kill spiders. But, you know, it's the trope. At least not loudly.

Yeah. Love is blind. Oh, my God. Anya was talking to me about it when I was in Cabo. I tried to watch it initially, but then it wasn't showing up on our Netflix for some reason in Mexico. It was, like, delayed. So I didn't get into it.

And then I was like, you know what? I'm going to wait to watch this with my man because it's such a fun thing to just consume and we he loves like these dating he can get you know wrapped up in these shows too started it on thursday uh wednesday um haven't finished it yet but man is season two good? Did you watch the first season, Noah or Andrew? Okay. Noah, have you watched the second season? I haven't because my man does not watch those shows. And we have like one TV.

So I can't watch anything like that. Gosh. What about on your device? Oh, yeah. I guess I have that. Yeah, you could watch it on your device. It's not fun to watch these shows alone anya you watch these shows alone is there any part of you that like wants to like talk to someone about it though that's watching it also so what do you do like can we talk about this stereotypes well

i have a degree in love is blind us japan and brazil you watch them all i watch them all in their original language now have you watched well love is blind season one when it first came out or were you new to it this this time around you know what's weird is i i'm sure that i did but then i'll see little clips from it and i'm like i don't recognize any of these people but maybe that's just how memory works when you watch a really trashy reality show you don't recall any of these people. I don't remember them, but I know I watched it. You did watch it. Okay.

Cause I loved love is blind one. It was a pandemic, like a first kind of show that came out during the pandemic. Did you watch love is blind? I watched the first one. Yeah. I liked, I liked the first one,

man. It's so unique where that's why I don't think I've watched the second one yet. Because when something's so singular in a way, it's like, it can't be beat. Or that idea is already like... People were saying, at least Chris had told me

that people had said that season two wasn't as good as season one, but I have to say I am very caught up in it and very invested. It is like a good book that I can't wait to get back to. It's just, I'm loving it so much.

And it's just, so for those of you who don't know what it is, these people meet in these pods. They fall in love based on just their voices and talking. Over a 10-day period, 15 guys, 15 girls all mix and mingle and talk through the wall at each other. And they have these intimate conversations. And then very quickly, they start matching up and like figuring out who they like and then by the second by the first episode there's they reveal like they start going like they start

getting engaged like outside of the wall like the there's a wall between them when they get engaged they haven't seen each other sight unseen And then there's the reveal and they see each other. And so by, you think the whole thing is going to be like them in these pods, but it's only the first two episodes. And then they're out and they're trying to figure out if they're going to get married. They have four weeks to live together. They go on vacation first in Mexico for like five days, I'm guessing. Is there a glory hole this season?

Wrong show. That would be so funny. Before you come out. Oh my god. Did you hear Lisa Gilroy? Did you see Lisa Gilroy's take on Love is Blind? She's the one I'm obsessed with on Instagram. She was doing, she did

like a kind of reel about it. And it's through the wall and she's like, this is like a, you know, example of a date on Love is Blind and she's through the wall and she's like this is like a you know example of a date on love is blind and she's through the wall and the girl's like okay so josh if you could be a ice cream topping what would you be and he's like oh i guess peanuts okay my turn um like if you were standing on a scale like what would it say it's so true is anyone that ugly on the show and i know i asked this like not seeing it and i will see it i will say that it is a show of sixes okay sixes and sevens i like

that i'm surprised based on my experience doing f boy island and like how many people are down to go on these shows and like want to be famous now and like that's really what these shows are about let's be honest like these people can say that they're looking for love and that can be true but it has to be hand in hand with like wanting to be famous too sure no one really goes on these shows being like i don't want to be famous why would you go on a show then so i cannot believe they couldn't find more attractive people no offense to unattractive people that deserve love as well i just can't believe they do everyone deserves that felt so sincere like you want to hang out with your nephew again i i just can't believe they couldn't do a

little bit and i think all these people are like there are beautiful people on this show i i'm saying this as a six myself like if i i fit on the show perfectly i'm just used to reality shows having super hot people anya any thoughts i don't know about rating people i didn't even think about it but you're're right. They're not like... They're not bachelor hot. It feels relatable. It feels like, oh, these are real people. Which I'm grateful for. But also, they seem like they've done makeovers on real people. You know what I mean?

These girls have injections. They're trying. They have had their hair done. They look very TV ready. No, no, no. These women are coming in with these injections. And I don't think... That's what I mean That's what I mean okay okay I thought you said They do makeovers on them oh right

They've done makeover Someone's done a makeover on them like they've showed Up on their best they put their Best foot forward but they are like ordinary Real people yes some of them Are really cute I have to say There's one girl whose face She's beautiful she's really beautiful and

um it's interesting because I was looking at her face and I said to Chris when we were watching and I go because we were like she's clearly a stunner but if you saw that face in 1998 you would say what the fuck is going on there it doesn't beauty now has changed so much faces of beautiful women beauty is i mean i know it's constantly changing what we the idea of beauty like whether it's like big hair in the 80s or like jeans that go up to your fucking like you know breastbone or whatever it is there's fashion that's changing what's sexy but faces now this woman injections and faces have changed faces so much in our idea of what a good-looking woman is i watched an old episode of oprah last night that was called the other woman it was all about these

like women that were like the other woman in relationships where every woman in the audience is just like hating these women and oprah is just like so you knew he was married right you knew he was married when you met him well i didn't know okay so but then when you found out see i would think that if every man i ever dated ended up being married i would like ask first the next time it's like she's just calling them out and all these women are just like just so angry at these women that are coming out being like yeah i was the other woman there is a woman on there who looks legit 50 56 yeah and she's 36 years old and this was 2004 and it's because her it's because of fashion and how much it's changed and like these women all have normal faces with nothing in them and it just doesn't happen anymore yeah it just it is as regular to get botox and

stuff in your face now as it was to get like your hair dyed back in 2004 it's just changed don't you think the premise though of a show where people get engaged after a couple times or whatever outside a fucking wall like that that that doesn't do it for me that makes it feel just like how the bachelor i don't feel as genuine at the end when they're getting, but at least they saw each other for a couple months. Like, they get engaged. Like, straight up engaged. But honestly, they know each other and fall in love,

but, like, in these pods. It is real love. I know it's real love, but not engaged love to fucking not see the person at all. It's just not real to me. Watch the first two episodes, and you tell me what you've witnessed on the... I saw the first season.

I know, but you need a refresher because this stuff, it's like, it's real. Did anyone open the door and was like, God damn. There are moments like that where people have involuntary reactions. Where they're like, you just see a split second like oh fuck. Can I pawn this ring? Oh my god. We have to take a break but I want to come back and talk about one of those. A bake.

Sale. I gotta go to. While we go to break. But we'll be right back because I want to talk about one of those reactions that was like uh oh on this Love is Blind recap episode. We'll get to the news, I swear. Andrew! Come on now!

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to

the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, your control and what's not in your control. Renowned motivational speaker, best-selling author, Mel Robbins. Work has been seen as the number one cause of stress. How can the let them theory help? As you notice the stress come up, Jay, you're simply going to say, let them. You have no idea right now how much time and energy is being wasted because of other people's behavior. It's like a death by a thousand cuts.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson.

Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness awareness and we want this to stop wow very powerful i'm ellie flynn and i'm an investigative journalist when a group of models from the uk wanted my help i went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry i really wanted to be a player boy my dog dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior.

He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. The one that I want to talk about from love is blind the reaction it's so funny because they they can't people can't help their faces yes and even these with the even the ones with injections that are making their faces frozen they can't help but like the

way they touch the other person you know when a couple is like very into each other because they're just like touchy touchy kissy kissy even though they've never even met before they're engaged and they're in love and they're like i love you and then the ones that aren't you just you it's written all over them but the other the the guy is usually the one that's like super into it and the girl is kind of like and um they don't the guy doesn't have the other couples meetings to frame his meeting off of so the awkwardness he just attributes to like it's the first time we're meeting she's just a little awkward but watching it as a viewer you're like whoa this is way different than the other ones. Something's wrong. And this one girl,

she's like down to get engaged to this guy. And then as soon as she sees him, she's just like, I just feel like my religion is gonna be an issue. It's like, wait, wait, what? I thought you said you wanted to work through that. And she's just like, I just feel like your height, like the height of my love for God

is like not in line with your nose. I mean, he knows, God knows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny. And the guy is in total denial of what is going on, which is she's not attracted to me and she doesn't like me because of my

looks. And he goes, I think she just wanted to wait to see me in person before she told me like the deal breaker of her. It's like, no dude, that's not it. But it's sweet that he's like,

you know, kind of defending it, you know, in the, you know, you make excuses. I used to do that when guys would reject me, I'd be like

he likes me too much like he's he loves me and he's scared of the love that he feels and so he's running so you just like kind of make yourself i love it like make yourself feel better is there a wall like to go like can we always have a wall in front of him and like i could love him through a wall and while i'm fucking someone else on the other side well some of these couples are so connected in the pods and then they come out in the world and they are frozen and have nothing to talk about and on the japan one it's funny because a couple of the girls like after they get together and everything they're like can we just not look at each other because they stop actually having good conversations when they're physically with each other i and then they'll do this thing where they just look the other way and they start it's like dating online i'm not

kidding you like that happened with the a couple on the american version the asian woman natalie and like maybe it's a that maybe that's a thing i don't know but she is so loving to this guy behind the wall so effusive with her feelings and then the second they get in person she's so mean to him constantly being like i guess you're all right and all this guy wants is to be told he's cute and that she loves him and he's just like this big hunky like blonde guy who's just like he just wants to be loved that's all he wants and he and she just won't give it to him he's like do you he goes you're so you're so beautiful babe do you think i'm attractive and she's just like you're all right like but she was i'm just kidding and he goes stop stop doing like

eventually it like gets to a point where and i'm screaming at the tv like stop being mean to him you're why are you doing this you were so not you're so nice and she's so nice to him off off camera she's just gushing about how much she loves him and then when they get in person she's so mean anya do you think she's insecure like do you think that like interesting do you think i think that when you get in front of someone you're now thinking like how do i look how are they perceiving me where you can't connect? Because you're so worried about thinking about yourself. There's something going on there that I just was really.

She eventually worked through it, but it was. She was stunned by his good looks. He's really hunky. And that was the first thing she says to the confessional. She's like, I couldn't believe how hot he is. It's like, wow. And then it's just like a con i think it's subconscious i wish they had a therapist element on the show where they could deal with

stuff like that like yeah what is going on with all of these little criticisms and jabs like constantly yeah i used to deal with that in a relationship where it was like just constantly just cutting everything with any sincerity would be cut with a joke of like where it was just, there was never a compliment that wasn't like, but I mean, I guess you're okay. Like something that would take it away as soon as they gave it or never give it and then,

or say something mean and then cut it with like, I'm just kidding. You know, you're beautiful. You know, something like that. And it just got to the point where i was like you're mean you're constantly and i know you don't feel that way like when we're alone or when you know there's i just know how you feel about me and isn't that what it what is going on

here and i think it's just fear of intimacy and fear of being uh vulnerable and like i guess letting someone know that you have something invested in them that they could then pull away they were so mismatched in my opinion i was like what um i haven't gotten to the end so please do not tell me anything that happens but i thought they are i think they're great no as i was watching i'm like they're a great couple but i couldn't believe that they picked each other right off the bat or that you know i just thought for sure he was gonna be so funny there's so many moments in this reality show where i go whoa well when this airs he's gonna have a lot to answer to because he just openly told this other girl because they're all dating

each other and by the end of it some of them are between two people and one guy tells one and i'm not spoiling anything because this is our first episode one guy tells a girl hey if i were to ask you to marry me like what do you think about that he doesn't ask her but he just says like hey i'm floating that and she's like i i'm i'm really into this other guy and he's like devastated so then he goes to the other girl on his like his number two he proposes to her but um it and she's like i don't want to be this your second choice and she basically is and he he's honest with her about it which i liked but then there's there's then they get them all together and so then they finally see the girl that they like went to first oh yeah and by that time they've already started to have tension in their relationship so this person just looks perfect to them and it's so juicy

and that fucking death would be amazing love is death because there would be no death yeah you just walk up and you're like good good tits. Like, like. Love is deaf is so funny. Because it would literally be a three second show. It'd be like, yeah, I'd fuck her. I mean, that's what happens. That's pretty much any like loud bar. Yeah.

Love is deaf is just a loud bar. Yeah. With tall, hot people all fucking. That's what happens. It is interesting because you will get to a point in a relationship where your partner might find you there's i was talking to chris about this because we were watching and i go it really looks should not if you're looking to have like a partnership till the end where it's just one person looks obviously are going to play a part in it but you should

wrap your head around dating someone who you're never you're not going to play a part in it, but you should wrap your head around dating someone who you're not going to find sexually attractive at all because she's going to be an 80-year-old woman someday. Bottom line, you're not going to be one of the- Or even worse, 38. Oh, Andrew. She's going to be 38 someday. Not for a long time, Andrew.

She's going to be 37 in 48 days. And I go, because I said to chris i was like i'm gonna if we stay together yeah i'm gonna be 89 someday and you won't want to fuck an 89 year old he goes you're not gonna want a fucking 89 year old i know but i was just like like men are more about like looks i think, than women. I know. Especially after menopause, women. But I think there's a difference between, I think if I'm aging with a woman, and let's say, I want to put my best, even though I haven't at times, and I've gotten as ugly as I think I could get. I think there's something about trying to at least stay attractive for your partner.

I know, but at some point, time takes its toll, and there's nothing you can do is what I'm saying. I still see like an active old – like I'll see an active 80-year-old woman who's like doing like Roomba, and I'll be like, oh, that's fuckable. Roomba. You know what I mean? Like she's at least like moving her body and like still being – then you got like a 45-year-old guy or, she's at least, like, moving her body and, like, still being.

Then you got, like, a 45-year-old guy or girl who's just, like, eating fucking corn puffs, just sitting on the couch, like, just letting themselves go because they're older. And it's just like, eh. Yeah. That's not fuckable. But I think if you stay, like. Yeah, but I'm just saying, like, I'm just saying that eventually looks will fade. I mean, y'all know this.

Looks will fade. And if you are invested in someone only because of the way they look, watch out because it's going to be a bumpy road. Because eventually you're going to feel. And that attraction you have in the beginning where you're all over each other is not sustainable. It just isn't and it just if you if that is what you think that you're gonna have forever i mean there's no i don't there's no one besides courtney kardashian and travis barker who have been able to keep that like intense all over each other you know fucking like rabbits vibe going for that long you can have about you can have little moments of it like when you return from a trip you haven't seen each other in a while

you they get a new haircut there's like some you go on vacation you can have these moments of like little snippets of that again but so do you think it helps travis barker and i mean they both have had kids on their own they met their similar age're similar age. They've both been through. I think it helps that they're online and that they get to get attention for it. Yes, of course. That makes it. They have like a voyeur thing going on. Wait, how long have those guys been together?

Yeah, they haven't been together that long. You know, like six months. That's what I'm saying. Nikki's like, I can't believe they really managed to keep the spark. No, I'm making a joke because obviously they're not going to fucking last. That's not going to last. But my point is. Obs you think staying attracted to someone, like let's say you meet someone when you're 23 and now they're 55

and do you lose attraction to them when you're growing older with them? Or if you were 55 and you met another 55-year-old, it'd be easier to be like, oh, she's fucking hot. Does that make sense? I think that old it'd be easier to be like oh she's fucking hot does that make sense I think that you tend to be attractive to the people that are your like for me at least as a woman like I can be attracted to

younger people for sure but I definitely think that older people I'm not attracted to until I get that age generally except for William Hurt which is the weirdest thing really William Hurt was

I was 13 when I saw Michael the movie where John Travolta was playing the angel oh and I was horny for William Hurt

I don't understand it let me look what he looks like oh my god he just died yesterday and then it turns out he also beat Marlee Matlin like terribly

he was pretty much Ike Turner-ing her their entire like-year relationship. It's awful. Oh, God. So if anyone's RIPing William Hurt, just add to it. Also, he really beat up Marlee Matlin all throughout their relationship. And his baby mama prior to Marlee Matlin also used to get beat up by him all the time.

Oh, my God. Well, he lived up to his last name, I guess. I'm not saying he's not a good actor. Broadcast news is great, though. Oh, my God. And Michael, though, he was just so gentle and sweet and hot. I love a disclaimer. Okay, let's talk about how good he is now.

No, I mean, like, it's the separating the artist from the... Allegedly. It's like cigarettes will kill you and give you cancer but god i was watching the tina turner documentary on hulu tina over the weekend oh yeah and loved it so good but ike turner beat the shit out of her we all know yeah from the beginning like as soon as they started like dating at first she was just like an older brother type like helping her along and then all of a sudden he decided like i'm changing your name to tina turner and i own that name i own you i you know when they divorced she didn't have any

rights to anything and she got all of his like she is. Anyway, I was just watching it and I go, what the fuck happened to Ike Turner when he was a baby? Like, in a child. God only knows. Like, men who beat women, unfortunately, like, if you could, like, shrink them down to a little child, that, like, what they witnessed and what led them to be that person, you would feel very sad for them. So as as i'm like i hate obviously anyone who beats

their like william hurt i'm just like oh some something happened to him so i have a little bit of empathy for fucking abusers i don't think they're like they should like obviously they should protect themselves from people and get help for what they're doing and like that's that's up there's no free will so they don't have really have a choice. But I just see... When I hear someone is beating someone up... Ike Turner, I was kind of sad for him. As much as I was sad for Tina, I know that sounds crazy. But I was like, that poor guy.

What the fuck happened to him that made him think beating women was the solution? What if nothing happened to him? It's rare. It's always some kind of trauma. Honestly. No, I know. But I'm just saying... I'm not kidding you. I feel like sometimes guys will use... nothing happened to him it's rare it's always some kind of trauma honestly no i know but i'm just saying like i'm not kidding you i feel like sometimes like guys will use well i was hurt when i was three so i'm not kidding you unless it's like sociopathy it's not excusable it's not

excusable but unless it's real sociopathy which is like where i let you know like there are some there's one serial killer who was truly raised well and like had a good family it just doesn't make sense but generally much like on my 600 pound life if you look at people who abuse who abuse people abuse substances there is always always some trauma from childhood that is and on my 600 pound life i gotta say nearly every single time they start out and the person like they show their life and they're like how much they eat and what their daily like schedule is and like their enablers getting them food and then the music starts going ting ting ting ting and then the pictures of their childhood and then you find

out when they were molested every single time every time it's it's so the correlation is there's just no there's just no denying it it'd be funny like a like a parent's like oh no we didn't hurt them we just trained them to be a serial killer like like they were like yeah all right sit down tommy we're gonna show you what a knife and a gun is there might be people like my mom just listened to a lot of murder podcasts. There's going to be a new batch of serial killers. I just grew up hearing about it. Yeah, I just was taught it.

I just listened to Morbid in the car with my mom on the way to school. Shots fired. Shots fired. All right, break, I think. Break already? I saw a sign. I can't see. Sorry.

Oh, news. Yeah. Yeah, I thought you had good eyes. I did. That's why I said break. A break before news. I think we just go into news. Yeah.

Are you new to the show? Huh? What show? First time here? First time without curls. All right. News. Let's get to the news.

You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, man. It's Monday, folks. You know what that means. It is Monday. Hope you're having all the swells out there.

We sure did this weekend. It was a very nice 68 and sunny here in St. Louis for one day. It was 12 degrees on Saturday, 68 on Sunday. It was nuts. It's 5 o'clock somewhere. Okay. Noah, take it away. All right.

Anya Marina is playing Rockwood Music Hall on March 17th, starting 7 p.m. Why do I care? That's the name of a segment, Anya. Yeah, yeah. I'm not being a piece of shit. I'm just playing. Also. No, go.

It'll be amazing Anya Marina and Andrew Collin will be performing with Nikki Glaser on tour on you know

we start up very soon Winnipeg Vancouver Austin Texas Jacksonville Florida so I mean

endless Pennsylvania so many dates go check out those dates at Nikki Glaser dot com and where can they get tickets Florida. I mean, endless. Pennsylvania. So many dates. Go check out those dates at NikkiGleiser.com. And where can they get tickets for your show, Anya? On your website? Anyamarina.com.

Okay. Lots of good stuff there. All right. All right. I'm going to skip to the second story just so we can move things along. Because I want to know if you've ever thought about this. A study found that when entering an elevator, people stood in each corner just by human nature. You know what it makes me think of?

If you're a guy and there's three urinals, you're going to not pick the middle urinal. Because it's almost like picking the middle seat of a flight. Because you're going to end up next to someone if someone else comes in. Yeah. You don't want to see. Someone, I once read that if you get on an elevator, how funny it would be to just face the way you walked in.

Oh, my God. I wouldn't get on that elevator. How weird it would be. It would be like a Hotel Cecil. That is a serial killer. That is wild. Yeah, elevator etiquette. Ellicott.

Yes. Yeah, you pick a corner because you also just don't want to be creepy and stand too close to someone. Do you like standing by the buttons? You just kind of face forward. Are you one of those people? Do you prefer to stand in the corner where the buttons are so you one of those people do you why you do you prefer to stand in the corner where the buttons are so you can help push them for people uh we got buttons on both sides um what am i six i like pushing my buttons myself i hate when someone's like what floor and

i'm like i get it i get it yeah well and they always there's a pause there where they want to be treated like a king for doing it it's like you hit one fuck you hit 11 like stop like and you had fun doing it you like seeing it light up on you where do you stand when you walk in if no one's in the elevator of course i go to the buttons if one person's in the elevator close to the buttons i go far away from them are you afraid of people is there a fear in an elevator like as a woman like especially if it's like 30 floors like does the floors amount to more fear like this lower the elevator the older the elevator like what's the why is a woman just because like if a guy comes on and you're a woman. Oh, I thought you meant like a rickety elevator. Oh, no, no, no.

I just mean like being in there with a guy that you don't know, a stranger. You know, it depends on like the vibe they're giving off. Yeah, I'm going to like, I'll just get off on a, I would just protect myself and get off on a, even if I press like floor 70 and the guy's a creep, I would press a floor right away to get off. Oh, good one, Glazer. Yeah, and just go, oh, I forgot. And I wouldn't even make an excuse. I'd just be like, you're creepy.

Owning when a guy is creeping you out is a good thing to do. The other night, I was walking Luigi, and it was at night, and this guy came out of nowhere. First of all, I heard running first. and before you get attacked as a woman generally the guy's gonna just just you know like a like a jaguar stalking they are slow and then it's then it's fast i mean it's gonna be like four four like and then it's they're gonna get you and so he came out of nowhere running and i just go oh my god like i screamed like he was about to

attack me he was like i'm so sorry he was running back into he forgot his phone in a restaurant so he's just you know like when you're just like fuck i forgot my phone and he was like and i go you can't run when you're a man at night you can't don't run ever he's like i forgot this steak knife i brought it from the restaurant oh my god i can't believe it men need to like lay off of running around women at night it's so scary yeah no i'd be scared too it was not good but in the elevator the other day i find that when i have luigi because usually i'm just taking him out for a walk um he becomes the topic of conversation and people go oh and luigi starts

to like smell them and i'm trying to like pull him away because he just wants to smell their shoe and they often go he's so cute and i go thanks and then my my line is i birthed him because it's like it's not my responsibility that he's cute like i go thanks like I have some kind of say in it. Like, I can see that. I see it. I can see it in your fangs. Next story. A student interrupts her online class as she starts venting about a breakup over three minutes. Other students tried to warn her in the chat

that she was not muted, and everyone was confused why the teacher didn't mute her she was also going so is she talking to someone else yeah so i think what happened basically because one of the other students posted this on tiktok of course and um i think she probably like picked up a phone call thought she muted her class and she started telling her friend about the breakup she also talked about how she drove her car the wrong way down a one-way road for like over three minutes reminds me of like robert durst of how he found out yeah the murderer that teacher sucks oh he's like in defense of the teacher the teacher did offer to stay after class. And some people were saying, like, maybe the teacher didn't know how to mute the student on the program.

Well, the teacher could have just cut in and said, hey, you're, you're. But I think there's sometimes teachers just, you know, the teacher that you're doing something embarrassing or you're talking and they just stay silent and wait for you to be embarrassed or something like so that the whole they just kind of like play with the idea that they can kind of humiliate you yeah I think it's I don't like this teacher I think they should have interrupted because they have the power girl turned the volume of the class down

and couldn't hear people like hey put your mute back on yeah okay maybe you don't have the whole story also if I were that teacher hey, put your mute back on. Yeah. Okay, maybe we don't have the whole story. Also, if I were that teacher, I would have let it run too. Well, there's something funny about... I would have been fascinated.

There's something funny about her turning down her teacher because she's like, I don't want to learn about biology. Meanwhile, he's telling her that she's giving away her secrets. So who's at fault there? The girl that already turned down the teacher

no what's that no the girl is yeah yeah the girl is i mean what's the most embarrassing thing you guys have done on us like have you guys had seen anything embarrassing done anything embarrassing on a zoom i mean i just remember teachers going out of being out of line with me in person but you have you seen anything on zoom where someone thought they were muted and they did something embarrassing? Really? What have you seen? I was just on a Zoom where somebody was like, so grateful, like talking about how grateful they were

that their partner got them a dozen roses on Valentine's Day. And they were like, I just thought it was really sweet and like a surprise. and then out of nowhere you hear someone go i'd like to order a dozen roses and they're making a phone call wait what oh like someone got the idea yeah from the girl and loudly and no one muted them and they were like yes one dozen roses it's a delivery delivery. Oh, my God. I like it today.

Was everyone laughing? It was awkward. Yeah. That is so funny. It's funny when people don't know how to mute and they're scrambling. And you're like, just make me a co-host so I can do this. Yeah, that was recent. Noah, what did you witness?

Mine wasn't something that someone said. But the program that we were using it put this one guy up on like the first page and um all of a sudden i noticed him like picking his ear and then like looking at it and like rolling it around and then like pulling his eyebrow thing going back into his ear like just i guess he i don't know if he just is comfortable or if he if he just forgot or didn't think that anyone could see him i don't know i feel like yes we should keep all that stuff to ourselves but who does not pick their nose by the way who the fuck doesn't pick i don't who is someone who would never pick i understand not doing it in front of people

and like trying to be, but to act like you don't pick your nose, what do you do when you have a booger up there? Just blow it with a tissue? I always blow my nose with a tissue. Come on. I got caught picking my nose on Perfect Strangers. Really?

And I might have ate it, I don't know. He ate it. I wasn't gonna bring it up, but I'm glad that you shared it with us. No, I felt like you were leaning into it. I wasn't gonna bring it up but i'm glad that you shared it with us like you were foreshadowing or leaning i wasn't gonna say it i really wasn't that was your story but i'm kidding though i really was not i told you i wasn't gonna ever share that but you share everything around it that you know i can't hold myself i mean i love that you're sharing it but

like yeah we had uh how dare you make me say this? I really wasn't going to say it because I just felt like there is a video of Andrew looking out of a window during a writer's meeting. Maybe. There might allegedly... There's a video out there.

...of me looking out on a ledge, picking my nose. Picking his nose and then eating it. And this was during a writer's meeting, the final writer's meeting of Perfect Strangers. And I love in the video, because you can hear me furiously typing,

like we were supposed to do right at that moment. And he ate it. He did it twice, actually. No, it was one eat, one second pick. Oh, I think it was eating both times. You stopped at your mouth both times. Can we stop using the word eating? It was more of a tasting.

It's a... Eating makes it seem like I got a bowl of boogers. I don't have a bowl. A tasting is like a wine tasting where you pick your boogers and then swish them around your mouth and spit them out. Yeah. Oh, there's too much oak in my boogers. No.

Also, when you bite, you bite your nails. You bite your booger. I just want to ask though. You don't eat your nails. I am not judging. I swear to God, I'm not judging.

Have you ever ate a booger? Never. Really? Come on. You know I would admit that. I know. No, I don't care.

I just. You karate chop your shit. It just, no, I'll karate chop my shit. For sure. Shit, I'm sorry. i didn't mean no

i i would glad i was we were talking about it that day yeah yeah i i will touch my own poop to like karate chop it but then i wash my hand off but i didn't i don't eat it wait why did you karate chop it the other day because it wasn't going down what and i just didn't want to make... There wasn't any plunger. There was only a brush and I didn't want the brush to have shit on it so I just put my hand and I chopped it in half with my fingers and then I

went to the sink and I scrubbed my fingers like I was trying to scrape off the skin. I kept smelling them after I dry it and do it again, just to make sure. Got underneath the nails with a paper towel, everything. And it was fine.

I'm using floaters. I was laughing so hard. I'm just imagining you going, yeah. How many hits did it take? It was just like maybe one or two stabs. Have you ever ate a booger on you? Oh, yeah. But I lost the taste for them after 10 years old, I think. And I wonder why now.

But I would eat pieces of skin that I pick off. I love pieces of skin. Oh, my God. I mean, what are boogers? Dust and snot. Mucus. It's your body's defense to, you know, it's like pus. So it is like eating your own skin. It's your body. Yeah. I you know, it's like pus. So it is like eating your own skin.

It's your body. Yeah. I would eat a scab, too. I'd probably eat a scab. I love eating scabs. One time my tongue fell off and I ate that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We got to go to break.

We're coming back. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Cliffhanger. Columbine and Anya's tongue. We'll be right back and we'll learn about Columbine. We have great details about that coming up that you've never heard of. And then also when Anya ate her tongue.

I believe I know the story, but it's a good one. And I can't wait to hear it again. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way

in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement

accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners,

like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and my latest interview is with Mel Robbins. The theory is very simple. It is a mindset tool that instantly helps you identify what's in your control and what's not in your control. Renowned motivational speaker, best-selling author, Mel Robbins. Work has been seen as the number one cause of stress. How can the let them theory help?

As you notice the stress come up, Jay, you're simply going to say, let them. You have no idea right now how much time and energy is being wasted because of other people's behavior. It's like a death by a thousand cuts. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of

questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. we've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions including jane lynch delaney row and cord jefferson each episode is a new person's story with new lessons new memories and new

connections to show us how we're both similar and unique listen to many questions on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry.

I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than

I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

All right, we're back. Anya, tell us what you mean when you say I ate my tongue. Okay, I was in Moscow, Russia, at a museum with my family. And I had a sore throat. And my mom was like oh you need to suck on a vitamin c and she pulls she has vitamins in her purse and we're walking around this museum and she hands me like a horse pill sized vitamin c like something that you swallow and I was like this is not a chewable this is and she goes no no no You put it on your tongue and just slowly suck on it, very slowly.

And it's like you will have no sore throat within an hour or two. I was like, all right. So I listened to my mom. I put it on my tongue. I'm walking around the museum very slowly for an hour sucking on this thing, not wildly sucking on it, just normal. And then I'm like, I feel weird. And I go in the bathroom an hour later and i look

at my tongue and i'm like what the fuck and there is the exact shape of this horse pill on my tongue the pill's now gone it's dissolved and it's just a white thing on my tongue and i'm like what is that and i touch it and it lifts off and it's a huge chunk of my tongue that has detached. Are you touching blood? No blood. It's just super red under it. Yeah, it like dissolved the top layer of my tongue.

I'm saying like three or four millimeters, like a lot. Yes. And then I'm like, what yes and i and then i'm like what the fuck and then i'm fascinated by it because it's almost the size of a tablet and then i somehow detach it and i'm holding a piece of my tongue and i just go oh my fucking god and then i ate it it was like involuntary i just could not eat it it was so weird and then i walked out of the bathroom i told my sister i go dude part of my tongue just fell off and I ate it and I stuck my tongue out and she

could not stop laughing. She's like, what the fuck? There's a huge hole in your tongue. Could you like keep pennies in it? Could you keep like a stack of three pennies in the hole perfectly where it like fill it up? You could put an ear pod in it almost like. Oh my God. Definitely like this whole part of an ear pod.

What? Yeah. Yeah. And then it grew in it almost like definitely like this whole part of an ear pod what? yeah and then it grew back up I wonder if it rejuvenated like in your cells like and then went right to your tongue I know what is it about like wanting to eat things like having a craving last night I I was craving pickles

so there's just times where I just want pepperoncinis. Like I could eat an entire jar of those or pickles, you know? And so I Googled it to see like what does it mean when you're craving pickles? And it means you're thirsty. It means you're, you know, dehydrated and you need to drink more water. Why don't I crave water when I'm dehydrated? Like why pickles then?

Like there's got to be something else. You want sodium when you're really... There's electrolytes in them too. Yeah, but it just doesn't make sense to me why you would want pickles. But I just ate an entire jar of pickles. It was so freaking good. Do you think if you chugged water,

you would still want pickles? I think you kind of would. I think it would satiate it. Everyone says just drink a glass of water. I think you'd of would. I think it would satiate it. Everyone says just drink a glass of water and it's like... I think you'd want them less. I do believe after reading that, yeah. But there's just sometimes where I'm just like craving a certain food

and I'm like, what's going on here? Brenna bought Girl Scout cookies and it's like, what's your favorite Girl Scout cookie? Oh, my God. Samoas. That could be a top one, bottom one. Samoas, 100%.

Samoas? Yeah, I got into this. This was an elevator conversation I had with two women the other day. I go, are we talking Girl Scout cookies? She goes, I hate coconut. I will not eat coconut. And the other girl was like, I love.

I was like, is this Girl Scout talk? I was like, yeah, I love a Samoa. Purple box. Wait, Samoas? What's in a Samoa? Is that the coconut? Yeah, those are the ones that are like rings. They have coconut and then chocolate drizzle on top.

And they're like brown, like toasted. Those are very good. She had Thin Mints and the peanut butter. I like Thin Mints. Thin Mint in a freezer, there's a hard thing. On top of ice cream. I do like Thin Mints, but it's not like I'm not right now. I'd rather just have like a really warm chocolate chip cookie.

Like they're not better than anything else that would be decadent i think a lot of people are are and the peanut butter cookies fucking so they're in our house chocolate and then the peanut butter yeah inside oh yeah those i've never had those because i used to hate peanut butter as a kid but i bet they're really good i've never had those either obsessed i can't not go i i'm i'm doing pretty, doing pretty good. Like I'm being like in shape and eating well and all that. And then around 10.30 p.m., they just start talking to me, the cookies. I could hear them. I'm not even kidding.

Sugar is insanely addictive. Yeah. There's just no question about it. But I think I wonder if they're not, if they weren't in the house, would I still have, knowing that they're that close? Yeah, that's a problem. But I also, you know, I deserve it. It's fine.

Yeah, you got to live a little because if you don't, the second you get around something, you're going to go fucking wild. It's always struck me as wild that you don't Nikki you don't really have a big sweet tooth Are you kidding I have the biggest I lived on candy as a kid I'd go to the sweet factory in the mall Spend $7 which back in 1996 Is a fucking ton of money

To spend on candy And I would just get You know Gummy bottle caps Gummy peach rings drinks gummy watermelons chocolate covered gummy bears uh nerds nerds i mean i i love i love i love sugar i just don't let myself have it because i just can't control myself around it it's just not worth it it's just the same as alcohol and and um oh no i bought um there's this thing smart sweets that i really like that are

like lower sugar and i have those sometimes but i find that if you don't have it you don't crave it yes yeah you know it's like the same with um you know alcohol and weed like i love it i definitely like want it all the time when i'm having it but but if I don't have it, I just kind of... I just put it in the category of it's just off-limits to me. I just can't... It doesn't make me feel... It makes me feel insane. I feel like with drinking,

sugar could honestly be more of an addiction than drinking. Just because... You could just eat sugar and it's not that big of a... But alcohol, to me, is an event. it's not that big of a but an alcohol like to me is like an event there's an immediate effect of alcohol too there is an immediate effect yeah i mean like you get drunk and you say stupid things and i know but i'm just thinking of like when i would drink it wouldn't be like oh no i'm just gonna try to get one in before i go to bed you know it's like it would be like for a thing so like when i have alcohol in the house it doesn't call my name as much as a fucking thin mint would right i'm the same it's funny i'm

writing a song right now called give me sugar and it's all about that it's about how like well i used to drink i used to smoke so like just give me some sugar that's all i want like i used to do all these other things but sugar's like my last thing. And it's just like a desperate song from the point of view of a total addict. And it's really fun. I love that. And you can hear it at Rockwood at 7 p.m. Yes, on Thursday night.

Yeah. Nice promo. If you're reading the book club of the week for the Besties, the Besties book club that we announced on our Instagram. It's called Talking with Strangers or Talking to Strangers. Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell. I just read chapter nine last night and it's all about alcohol

and it really opened my eyes to some things about alcohol that I did not know and I'm excited to discuss them when we all read that book together. Are we going to do that Thursday? No, we're probably going to do it later after the break, the season two break. But we have two episodes for you this week, so it's going to be this

one and also tomorrow. But it's Monday, so you know what that means. Top one, bottom one. Let's do it. The category today is Bad Words. Bad Words. Your favorite bad word, your least favorite bad word. And I'm going to eliminate the obvious worst bad word.

The C word. The C word? No. The N word? Yes. Because that's obviously the worst. That is a bad word, but that's not even a word I would put in with bad words. You know what I mean?

Well, bad word word it's bad is it not bad yeah yeah yes it's a bad word it would get bleeped on tv even if you know who no matter who said it that george carlin would say right sure but okay so bad words just anything that would make a kid go like that's bad yeah yeah um so i'm just gonna remove the n words because i just don't want to get like okay you actually think motherfuckers worse than the n word yeah obviously the n word trumps all um as do any slurs so let's start with bad because we always do that anya what is your least favorite curse word? If slurs are allowed. No, they're not.

Oh, they're not. I would say like racial slurs are not allowed. Okay, okay. Because they should all be just like obviously terrible. There goes your favorite. There goes my best. I don't like it when a guy says a girl's a bitch or like a a slut maybe but when a girl does i don't know why when a guy does it i'm like all right or i guess the obvious one is the c word um is it

because i love the c word but um okay we can say cunt guys what are we doing here no i know bitch is so you're you're framing it like it when men say it or what about if a woman called you a bitch it's i guess if it's in a hateful sense of a guy being like she's such a fucking slut yeah i think we're thinking of this as well i guess it could be okay yes context of like what it is yeah it's it's funny. That's a different thing. But if they really mean it, I'm kind of like, it's a turn off. I mean, yeah, it's a mean word, but I feel like any word,

that one's your least favorite of all the things that a man could call a woman. Yeah. Slut over cunt over bitch. Yeah, I think so. My mom never. Sorry, I'm going to say bitch because i did get into a huge

fight with an ex about he whispered you're a bitch in my ear really quietly and we had a huge fight and that was and i remember like worse he's like you're a fucking bitch because he was talking about how much he loved this jackson brown song and i was like didn't he like abuse daryl hannah we got into some fight about that and then he whispered in my ear you're a fucking bitch and he left and then we had a huge fight and then we broke up what's that i think that was the worst thing i ever heard and then you beat him with a two liter of water uh it was a gallon of water i did i think i know that story these days so bitch for me though i used sometimes i'd want to call my mom a bitch because for obvious reasons teenage angst she was one you know angst too yeah adult angst as well but teenage angst

that still permeates my adulthood um my mom nothing would set her off more than calling her it was the number obviously you know but like in a way that i've never seen my mom so angry you know like it i turned her into a bitch it would be because guess what i remember someone saying this about some woman and they were like you know i called her crazy once and you know who hates being called crazy crazy people and so honestly my mom when she would be this my sister and i talked about the other day and we were saying how um how we were remembering how like calling my mom a bitch would be like the worst thing ever and i remember just switching it to be i would be like you're being a b right now because it was just such it would just set her off and make her so

she couldn't you you wouldn't even she couldn't function if you it would just it would take an argument from a place of like getting things out and like kind of accomplishing your anger to like just no just unbridled anger and um my sister said it's i it's weird that mom hated that word because she could call us all the time we got called bitches all the time both lovingly and uh in in anger but calling my mom that i it just was it was a it was i don't know why she hated that word so much because i've never really hated being called a bitch i think i'd rather be called a bitch by my kid than when they start calling you by your real name calling a man a bitch is such a different meaning but you know what i mean oh you're like

andrew todd oh if my kid was like okay okay, Andrew. Oh, God, yeah. That kid is getting a whooping. Not a nice whooping. But isn't it interesting? A stern talking to. Calling a woman a bitch versus calling a man a bitch. Very different. Very different kind of bitches.

It's like. Well, calling a man a bitch is saying he's a woman. It's saying he's weak. Whereas calling a woman a bitch is almost like you're too strong like tone it down interesting yeah yeah why does that so um my least favorite one is probably when men say titties it's just disgusting to me like her titties um it just grosses me out i don't want it i don't like that said that. I don't like that word. I don't think men should use that word.

What about tits? Tits is fine. Boobs. Breasts, I'm going to add also, but breasts isn't a bad word. But breasts is almost more disgusting than titties. I don't want... The other day, this guy was micing me on set for Perfect Strangers 2, and he was like...

And you could just tuck the wire up beneath your breast and i was like oh god i thought he was gonna say i would prefer him to it was just so like i just doesn't like it um so i'm gonna go with titties andrew what's your least favorite my least favorite i'm i'm kind of i think steering a little bit away from it but i think this will make you angry too. It's when someone writes on Instagram or Facebook and they spell shit or fuck and they just take one letter and make it the whatever.

Right, right. They put an exclamation mark for the I in shit. Or like that other thing that, I don't know. The at sign or the asterisk. Yeah, an asterisk instead to feel like that. They're like a better person. Oh, so they're. Oh, because they spell S-H-Asterisk-T.

Yes. Some people do it on TikTok because so it doesn't get flagged. I get that. Yes. I don't think it's. It doesn't bother me. Really? I understand trying to keep your like.

Keep it clean for the kids. I know that it's just like the same thing. Because I have a shirt that says like fuck factory farming. And I would not wear it if it said the word fuck. But it says F, you know, asterisk CK. And it just is that way I can wear it out. That helps you really in your mind? To me, it just makes it like.

I know it's the same. But it's just like, it's just, there's something about seeing the word fuck that is a lot more intense if it doesn't have that. It softens it in a way, for me at least. To me, it hardens. To me, I pay more attention to it and I go, oh, fuck. No, what's your least favorite? My least favorite is idiot.

Calling someone an idiot, because I think it's not empathetic at all. It is mean when i when i sometimes slip and say it i it it like it leaves a taste in my mouth like i'm just like oh that wasn't that was it just feels so it's so mean and like you just don't agree the person's background and it's like the complete lack of empathy i just think so that's my least favorite it also negates anything they say it's like a way to be like you're just an idiot like then it's like okay well now yes saying it may be like you idiot is a little bit more loving but being like you're such a fucking idiot like that is

fucking idiot though is really fun like calling yourself a fucking idiot is funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a dumb fucking idiot. Although, those words matter. I know that you think they don't when someone, like, says bad things to yourself. I used to think it didn't matter. But if you, like, say, if you speak to a plant and call it a fucking idiot or a glass of water,

they've done, like, studies, like, language and, like, talk. Like, I used to think that you could just say to your dog like if it was like in a nice tone like you're a fucking idiot you're a dumb little piece of shit that it wouldn't matter but they realize that animals actually know what you're saying oh so even if you do it in a tone it could hurt his feelings so i only i never do that to luigi i used to think it was really funny to say mean things and like a cute voice. And now I don't do it. I always say,

I love you. I love you so much. I love you. And I was just kidding. And I only say nice things now, but it used to be like a bit I did, but now I know that dogs actually understand the difference. Yeah.

You know, they're all like dogs in New Yorker cartoons. Okay, let's go to final thought and go through our favorites. Yeah. Anya, favorite bad word? Oh, you know what? My friend Bob is German, and I never knew how to say shit in German, but it's scheisse.

And he says this thing, and I say it all the time whenever he stubs his toe or whatever. He always goes, Scheisse Minnelli. And I say it all the time, and it's my favorite. Oh, that's fun. Oh, that is fun. Wait, what was that one? Juzus, Juzus, Juzus. You taught me the Russian word.

Ujus. Ujus. And it means what? Horrible. Ujus. I love that word, but that's not mine. But that one's a good one. Sche yeah i do like a um a jokey kind of like fudgesicle whatever it is like that you say like um i'm trying to think of a good one but i can't right now man i heard some funny i was listening

to an interview with i'm becoming I'm coming becoming like obsessed I have a new obsession Phoebe Bridgers the musician and I'm I'm kind of like consuming everything about her right now because I'm just like into it and she was talking about she was doing this Rolling Stone interview and she just kept dropping all these like jargon like just kind of like fun words and she said um uh when when you're out in public and you get recognized when you're like an indie artist or like it's called recognized which i liked and then she also said that me and you know me and connor oberst were torbiting for a while which is like when you're on tour and you like sometimes are in the same city

yeah i liked that a lot too i like words like that good writer yeah she's good it's it's good stuff um okay my favorite one is probably is probably cunt i like it because it just packs it packs a punch it i don't i think it's kind of like it's so aggressive that i feel like it takes i I would never really call someone a cunt, I don't think. It just feels crunchy. I like it. I would never use it to describe my actual vagina. Yeah, that would be as creepy as titties. Yeah, that would be really, that would be off.

It's just a harsh word for your own pussy. Yeah, that sounds like how a rapist calls a vagina. I think I have a UTI in my c off. It's just a harsh word for your own pussy. Yeah, that sounds like how a rapist calls a vagina. I think I have a UTI in my cunt. It's just a lot. It's so funny. It's like all of a sudden an Anais Nin novel. It is funny to think of a doctor just being like, so your cunt, can we talk about your cunt?

Just like a medical term. I would love that doctor. I think it'd be hilarious like oh dick is my favorite word i like the word dick too a lot of it is great in a sexual context i just love dick uh like he's a dick let me suck your dick i i just like it i i think it just it's another crunchy word and it just covers a lot any bad word that you could use multiple different ways is just so versatile. Yeah. I remember the first time I said fuck.

I was 16. I had never sworn before. I was kind of a goody two-shoes and I was driving alone and it hit me on the drive. No one is in this car. I can say whatever I want. Oh my God, I could say the F word.

And I was like, are you ready to say this? I don't know if you could say this my god i could say the f word and i was like are you ready to say this i don't know if you could say this you had never said i had never said it no it's kind of interesting i feel like we should all remember the first time we say it when i was 11 i remember my friends would make fun of me because i would spell out sex i'd be like so wait have they had s-e-x and then i drove home and i could not once i said fuck once it was like i could not stop i was like fuck fucking motherfucker it was so fun and such a good word it was like i never stopped for the rest of my life it's the best i remember saying one time i was watching or my parents were talking about someone and i was like god he's such a prick and i was like, God, he's such a prick. And I was like, fourth grade.

And they were like, you two nuts. Where did you get that from? It's like, where do you think? Full house? You pricks. That's where I got it from. You pricks. Fucking prick.

That's a good one. All right, what's your fave? Fuck. Yeah. Just fuck. I mean, fuck is just, it's the best word. You could do so much with it. And comedically, it is just, it's a little sprinkle of, it's like a everything, what's the?

Bagel. Everything, yeah, like the, you know, the, what is it? The seasoning. It's like a seasoning to any joke you put in fucks and it's you know the classic thing of like if you're a comedian you're trying out new material put put fuck all over the joke and it's gonna get more laughs and then as it becomes enough to support itself funny enough take the fucks out and see if it's still funny and then you'll know if you have a good joke do you feel though that like with like taking it out and then it's a good joke then if you realize

oh it could be funny without it but you kind of just like saying it because that's how you would yeah tell a story anyways you need to take it out i'm just saying like yeah a joke should be able to i think stand without it unless it's you know i just love a story that feels like you're excited to tell it and i think sometimes a fuck be like and then he fucking like was like it's a placeholder for like the word like like i could take it out but it doesn't sound conversational that's not how i talk yeah without saying likes so you can leave it in because i i did a set this past weekend oh yeah and something happened to me on the way to the venue and i opened with a story about you always do that yes and it was so fun but

i i did say fuck a lot because i was still heated about what happened this guy cut me off and it's it was a and he this guy in a dodge charger he. No, but he cut me off. And he's the one with the tinted windows, you know? So you don't know what's in there, but a Dodge Charger comes with a gun package. Whatever. I don't want to have to do the whole joke. But I was so nervous about yelling at the guy because he had tinted windows, and I didn't know what. Yeah.

But I was like, I want to kill him. He cut me off in a way where he planned it. It was bad. It was really bad. I almost crashed. You know what you should do is just slow down and not deal with it and not because that person of course they're cutting you off on purpose come on andrew of course do you have your girlfriend in the car no i had my fucking mr uh five so your hand your girl for your other girl yeah my other girlfriend

your girlfriend before you met bretta? What's her name? This one? That dry one. This fucking idiot, cunt, bitch. Okay, so what did you do? We got to go. So I go to yell at him, and I drive up, and I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't even think I was going to say anything, but I wanted to really say something. And he rolls down his window next to me, and I'm like, oh, he's already anticipating me fucking going after him.

Oh, my God. This is how you get shot, dude. He pulls out a $5 bill and gives it to a homeless man. Oh, my God. I swear to God. And so, like, if I yelled at him, I would just be yelling at a guy giving money to a homeless. And I was like, how is this the same guy? Like, it blew my mind.

That's so funny. Dude, it was so funny. How is this the same guy? It blew my mind. That's so funny. Dude, it was so funny. How is that the same guy? He was in a hurry to do good. There were two homeless guys. He was on the way to a soup kitchen. He goes, five for you, five for you. Held out, he goes, five for you, five for you.

Two different homeless people. Have you ever given a homeless person over $1? No, but I gave a guy at Dodge Charger who's giving money to a homeless person a look. All right. You're welcome. That's so funny. Oh, my God. I love when life gives you a bit,

a thing like that that's just so absurd that you can, and on the way to the show, you're already thinking of material, trying to think of new stuff, something that you can be excited about. And you hate your old stuff, and you're like, just give me something that you can be excited about oh and you hate your old stuff and you're like just give me something that like i could like be excited about that's great and that story i'll hate in like two weeks i'll be like yeah great did you

see that was my face on the wall there i don't know oh maybe it was like in the show where did it's a cool room yeah it looked like you've been out there it's really cool i just know that my face is on the wall i've never had my like picture there's what maybe one other club that has like you know they always have like comedians on the wall and there's i only saw one face and of course it was chapelle and i don't even know where i saw it if it was outside or inside yeah or whatever but yeah i opened for anthony devito who if you don't know who he is so funny dude he's fucking the best even off stage too, Anthony DeVito is a fantastic. Salt of the earth. He really is, man. Salt of the stage. He's so nice.

So nice. Oh, my God. We got dinner beforehand, and it was like, he's doing a one-man show about his dad who got murdered. Oh, my God. Like mob shit. Whoa. Yeah.

Which is going to come out. He's going to Edinburgh to work. Whatever. Nice. Anyways, yeah. So check him out. Well, check out Anthony DeVito. And check out Anya. We'll be back tomorrow. Yeah, go see Anya at Rockwood

Musical. Thank you. And we will be back tomorrow with one more episode. This is a two episode week, but we'll see you tomorrow. Don't be cut and Jack Sparrow. Jack Rockwood Hall, 7 p.m. What?

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up,

well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make

sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics,

entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove.

Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.

You are cordially invited to... The hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Woman sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment.

Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.