The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #194 Doctor Swift
Episode Date: March 30, 2022Nikki talks more about all the crazy experiences she had last week. Andrew is so proud of her for auditioning for Francis Ford Coppola and introducing her family to Wilco. Play a quiz with them called... "Is It Taylor Swift or Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales?". You Heard It Here First: There is still no spray tan hack, Nikki is lucky to be height blind and congratulations to Taylor Swift! A couple of good finds in Nikki's Reddit Dump and a little bit more about meeting your heroes. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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The Nikki Glaser Podcast.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast are sending in things. I'm hanging these things. Noah is in Arizona. Noah, I just want to update you
about some things I just put up
between yesterday's episode and today's.
We got some,
I got some canvases
with Taylor Swift, like, string art
that are beautiful
and they were made for me by,
let me pull up her name,
Olivia Kabalin.
K-A-B-E-L-I-N.
Thank you so much for those.
We also had someone made
Olivia made my
Buzzy painting also
Oh she did?
Yes so good
They're really beautiful if you need something to decorate
Your place with Olivia
Kabelin Sportabesti K-A-B-E-L-I-N
And then also
Swellapalooza
We have the poster that someone made
that we posted on our Instagram forever ago.
I got it printed up.
And will you read,
who's that by?
It's on the pink part on the bottom.
Alex Moss.
Alex Moss.
Thank you so much.
M-A-U-S-S dot com.
Yeah, Alex Moss design?
No, just Alex Moss dot com.
Okay, he,
a great graphic artist.
Thank you so much for that.
And yeah, keep sending us stuff.
We love it.
And you also have a Stitch by Candice right there.
The Stitch.
Stitch by Candice.
Oh, down there.
The light blue stitching.
Down there.
Down there.
Oh, the Stitch by Candice.
Yes.
That says all the swells.
Stitch by Candice.
Love Candice so much.
Love it.
So it's Tuesday.
I mean, it's tuesday i mean it's monday to us i'm going to new york uh for this
week to do a quick uh jaunt over there i'm gonna be at the comedy cellar on tuesday night if you
guys want to come see me i'm doing um i'm not listed but i'm at the village underground you
can just dm me if you want to come by those shows and and ask which ones um and then um
yeah schedule is is heating up we are going to be in canada on tour we're going to
be on tour so many damn places check it out at nickiglaser.com uh really want to have besties
come out and um we're going to be selling merch there's going to be new merch for sale there is
a merch for sale now at uh podshop.nickiglaser.com and that's all like the stuff i wanted to get
and puddles the new podcast, is out.
Andrea has a podcast that comes out every Wednesday.
Yeah, we got this Wednesday Caitlin Bristow from,
she actually won Dancing with the Stars.
She won Dancing with the Stars.
Tell the folks what you did.
Oh, I go, you know, Nikki talks about getting first voted off.
How does it feel to be able to just say the beginning of that sentence it's pretty shots fired i like shots i'm fired i mean she said it was the hardest thing
she's ever done in her life yeah i mean you said it was the hardest thing and 10 weeks and i mean
i don't know how she doesn't know how she did it she's i actually referenced it i reference it all
the time it's one of the things i'm most proud of. Saying that you got first voted off is just hilarious,
and I'm grateful for it.
But at the time, it was just devastating,
and I've talked about it ad nauseum.
But this weekend, I got to do the greatest thing
that I've ever done,
and I just want to talk about it a little bit.
I had a crazy week last week.
So I flew to LA on Wednesday
because I had an audition on Thursday
for a movie that just came out of the blue,
and it was screen testing for
and I don't even know if I've gotten it or not yet I probably shouldn't talk about it yet no you got
it I just found it what's that I just got oh she's the lead it would be insane if I got it
Martha Stewart died it's a really big role in a really big movie um and my audition was with
Francis Ford Coppola and I um Who I thought was lost in translation.
Yeah.
Because I thought that...
Andrew was like, she's amazing.
Or he's amazing.
No, I said she's amazing.
She's amazing.
Yes.
So he thought it was Sofia Coppola, his daughter.
But Francis is a girl name now.
It is a girl name.
You're right.
Well, I think it always has been.
Yeah.
But I...
So yeah, so you get this audition this audition there for that um i got in
on wednesday night i went to dinner with spade and um tim dillon and ben avery tim's producer
it was really a fun dinner i didn't know tim and ben were going to be there we had so much fun
um but how do you feel even way before like let's let's you don't really go on that many
auditions as i don't go on any anymore because I just don't do well in auditions.
I'm really good at getting up in front of thousands of people,
but it's a waste of my time memorizing lines, hiring an acting coach,
flying sometimes to cities, putting myself up so that I can even audition.
So the reason I – years ago I just decided,
and I told my agents and my manager,
I just don't want to do this anymore because I don't even know if I want to be an actress.
I don't even – I don't know that I've enjoyed it that much when I have gotten a chance to do it.
And I'm good at it when I do it, but every role I've ever had acting-wise has just been given to me by friends.
And I just –
So my point, though, is –
Not doing it anymore.
Here's something you don't do anymore and then you go I've had the best audition I ever had where I did get a call back was for a pilot
with David Schwimmer and I got to read with David Schwimmer and and do improv with him where we just
did a scene that was like basically like what the gist of the scene that I had to memorize was and
they were like just go with it and we had so much fun i just like i i felt like i knew him just from watching friends for so long and i killed it so when i'm
when i'm able to work with other people and not auditioning is very weird because you're reading
with someone who's not reading like the character you know they're just reading kind of bluntly
they're behind the camera you have to just like mime things it's very it's just so awkward and I feel like it's just not the
it's it's something that I can figure out how to I could get good at it but it's going to take too
much work and I just didn't have time so I just kind of said let me just steer towards scripted
and or unscripted tv and stay away from scripted until it's my time and so I got this call randomly
that said um a producer for Francis Ford Coppola wants you to screen test
which is like you you do an audition then you get a call back then you make it you can do another
call back then you do a chemistry test then you do a screen test the screen test I didn't even
know what it was I had to ask David Spade like what is the screen test like I called Adam Ray
as well because he books a lot of stuff and I'm like what does this entail am I going to be reading
with someone because it was very mysterious and they were like we really don't know it could
be with someone and um but what it was was reading with Francis Ford Coppola no I'm just trying to
put that all into perspective because this is the godfather like literally the godfather like he
created the god like I've never seen the godfather by the way it's probably a good thing you haven't
because you don't realize how great it is
and how much people love this dude.
I honestly went into it with just thinking of him
as like a normal man with a flawed man,
just like anyone is,
but who's very, you know,
obviously has a body of work that is so impressive
that I haven't even begun to delve into it
because I don't have time to appreciate it.
And it just, it's my mom's favorite movie,
The Godfather, you know, it's everyone don't have time to appreciate it. And it just, it's my mom's favorite movie, the Godfather,
you know,
it's everyone's favorite.
I mean,
yeah,
this guy,
this guy saw every actor,
you know,
every single,
well,
male actor,
you know,
is because of this guy.
Like,
you know what I mean?
Like he is a legend and he's seen everyone.
Yes.
And when you think about this and his daughter,
Sophia Coppola,
and I really do love her work,
you know,
like he, and he, um Coppola and I really do love her work you know like he and he um yeah so I was I got the call when we were still at Perfect Strangers and they sent over the script and I gotta be honest I didn't look at it until a week before
the audition because I I'm just telling you that to make everyone else feel good about
procrastinating I have the chance to screen test which means I'm like one of maybe five people being considered for this role at this
point um and it means you're you're shooting on the cameras that you're you're shooting you on
the cameras on like a sound stage in a very like Hollywood like setting that's what I come to find
out what it means and a lot of times they will have the actors that they've already maybe cast or thinking about casting, do it with you.
But I was just so nervous about it
that I thought if I don't look at it,
then I don't have to.
It's like when you have a messy room
and you just don't go in that room.
What's a scapegoat to go,
well, I didn't try my hardest.
And boy, did I do everything else
instead of those lines.
Cleaning, running.
Oh, I thought you meant improv.
Writing my book book i did everything
else except wanting to look at that and then finally audition for another movie i finally
pulled i didn't even read the script i didn't even look at it like it's not like i didn't sit
down to memorize it i didn't look i didn't want to look at it so when i saw it was just two pages
long i was like oh fucking thank god um but i then memorized it um started working on it pretty hard and started just kind of treating this
a little differently than I have other auditions where other auditions I'm just trying to be what
they want and since I've taken a maybe four year break from auditioning I feel like in those four
years I just know who I am I know what I'm capable of I have self-esteem i was thinking about lady gaga like lady gaga
before she was lady gaga and made her career in music she wasn't an oscar-winning actress she
wasn't on that level she had done a cameo in the sopranos where she was just like hey you give me
a light like that's all she said so it it doesn't matter what your experience is you could just like
wing it and be the perfect for the role and so much about auditioning is just being what they want and you don't know what they want so just be you and i thought
just boston university and so i thought i'll just go in and just be myself and really try to and i
just got done watching amy's new show um life and beth and i was watching so many of my friends
and amy like in this show and like just being themselves, but like also the character and seeing how because I know them in real life, I can see what they did.
And I'm like, I like that.
They didn't try to embody this new character, invent something out of thin air.
They're just themselves.
Yeah.
But a little turned up.
And then I get to L.A. and I start freaking out.
And I'm like, I need I, I can't believe I didn't
do an acting coach. Like, what am I thinking? I did that for like pilot auditions. Why didn't
I do it for this Francis Ford Coblo movie? So I called up my old acting coach and she did,
she zoomed with me and really helped me out and was just screaming at me to stop touching my hair
because it shows insecurity. And she told me in a movie, you don't act you're not acting it's not a performance
you need to really feel those feelings so you need to find a way to think about someone that
makes you feel that this person in the scene makes you feel like have you ever had something
like this happen in your life and i'm like uh yeah and she's like okay that person is me you're
talking to that person and then suddenly everything shifted because it was like I was just myself really I wasn't trying to perform and um but still I was
nervous as hell I mean I did I I uh read with her in the morning you know an hour before I went in
so I was like I was feeling good coming out of that but I was also like what do I wear I'm going
in they did my hair and makeup first I was in an hour of hair and makeup
then I go in
and I'm like
I you know
I can kind of glean
what the part is about
but it's just a scene
that's kind of
I didn't read the whole
the movie wasn't sent to me
so
I do think doing F boy
where they give you a script
an hour before
you got to get in front of 30
and I know you're like
well that's not acting
you always downplay it
no it's a performance
for sure it's definitely a performance it's a higher version of yourself yeah and you
have to think outside yourself and you can't let the moment because dude that's the thing is when
you do f boy you're in front of 150 people and it's gotten so normal well perfect strangers the
first day the first day of first first uh season of strangers too
or perfect for the first season of perfect strangers too i was very nervous and then
you just go no i they know what they're doing asking me to do this and so i'm not going to
go in like i don't deserve this this what yeah and i could can't like i get my point is my point
though is that you doing that this is the difference between how you practice guitar and then you're like oh no i got a guitar
perform you are putting in the fucking hours without even realizing it yes and that's like
i love that process when you go holy shit like what like you almost stumble on it like
oh i'm ready for this because i've put in the hours here that can easily transfer to this.
I was lamenting to Chris about not having prepared enough
and how I'm squandering this opportunity
because I'm procrastinating.
He goes, the difference between two hours of work
and 50 hours of work when you're at your level
are really indiscernible
because the work that you put in
has been done the thousands of hours leading up to
this all of the stuff that you've done like yes there would be a difference if you worked a little
bit harder now but the massive amount of work and i i often forget that that like all because i
treat each thing like singular things and i don't think about all the the stuff that came before it
and so um yeah it was so i get there yeah and real quick i just want to we can
interrupt this too because no i i know you have a thing um we can do it after the break are you
sure yes i have so much to talk and i wanted to get to wilco too we might not get to it on the
show but um so i go in um i have no idea what this is going to entail i get to this like sound
stage with where they're shooting a bunch of movies.
There's like hundreds of people like running around.
There's like a wood shop where they're building sets.
It's like real move.
I've never been on a set like this.
And they send me to this room and I get in there and the cast, this really nice casting
director is there and and this hair and makeup lady and the hair and makeup lady is like,
well, look at who it is.
Good to see you again.
And I was like, oh, no.
Like, it was kind of like a tone of like, and I'm like, do I know you?
She had a mask on.
And she goes, yeah.
It's your French teacher?
Yeah.
Oh, my God, Madam Hood.
Ham drip.
And I'm like, and thank God.
You know when you're like, I'm so grateful I remembered someone's name.
Even though I worked with her so much.
There are people I worked with every day on Not Safe that I don't remember.
But she was my hair and makeup woman for Not Safe.
And thank God I remembered her because I was like, Gina?
And she was like, yeah.
And I was like, oh my God.
So I knew the woman that was doing my hair and makeup.
That's a good thing.
It was awesome.
It made me feel so at ease.
And then two seconds later, the producer guy who asked for me to audition for this comes in.
And I had the feeling they're just looking for comedians for this because I heard about one other comedian auditioning for it.
So I'm like, oh, they want a comic.
Now, how does that make you feel?
Does that make you feel more free to be funny or that it makes me feel um it made me feel less special
because it was like oh they're just picking hot lady comics they're not like because the material
that the way that she and i actually were fairly similar but i could just tell that they just
were like okay i was like i'm probably gonna run into my top five i could have given you a list of
who i was gonna see that day but it was just me because they had scheduled us so that we wouldn't overlap.
So I went in.
I'm sitting there.
And then the producer comes in.
And he says, well, I thought he was the one that found me.
And he's like, I've never seen your act.
Tell me about it.
What's your shtick?
So I told him.
Sounds like an old-timey producer.
He's an old guy.
In his late 70s, 80s.
Yeah, yeah.
And he's awesome.'s nice and we're talking
then i start talking about living in st louis which they were all shocked to hear and then
all of a sudden come walking in the room behind me um i see their attention kind of go to this
guy walking in the room and i turn around and there's francis ford coppola walking up to me
but can you pick him out of a lineup you've never seen godfather no. No, but I Googled him. So is it just an old man?
And I'm familiar with, even before that,
I'm familiar with what he looked like.
He looks like Pavarotti, doesn't he?
And he also had a, kind of, he also had a name tag on.
Did he really though?
Yeah, because when you check in there, you know.
Oh, okay.
So he had a little sticker on, hi, my name is, and FFC.
And so he pulls up a chair and he's like i just want to talk to you
about this role thank you so much for being here he was so warm he told me among every he talked
for me for 25 minutes probably and i'm not exaggerating that it was like a long time he
sat down he told me all about the movie all about why he wanted uh comedians because he's like this
woman is smart this character is a smart woman and he
goes and I was thinking about who the smartest people are and the smartest people I find she
goes she's she's sexy and she's funny because the smartest women are funny because he goes I
worked with Robin Williams he was he directed Jack and he was like I've never met anyone
smarter than Robin Williams and it was because he was just smart people are funny which I already loved him calling me smart I was like okay cool and he goes
and women who are sexy are smart people don't think that but they they're intuitive and they
know the thing that works to make men stupid and pretty much the essentially the premise of my
entire HBO special coming out is that you know sexy women are doing it because they know it works
and that they've it's it's calculated in a not in a bad way plain dumb it's the idea of like uh
appealing to men's sense of what's a possum you know an opossum plays dead yes that's what a hot
woman does yes they play dead you so then you could have played up this thing that makes men
kind of yeah numbed out and
they give you things and so i told him that and he loved it and he said the things he said to me
that i loved so much he goes you are perfect the way you are nothing about you don't need to do
anything in there i'm going to read with you and we're going to do an improv scene and then we're
going to read this scene with me we're going to make you up so they did me up like um a roman goddess they had all these like
costume jewelry he's like we don't have a costume department so wearing what you wear is fine i
asked you to bring they asked me to bring a bathrobe too because it's like roman setting
and then i put on this like beautiful beaded headdress and this like crazy necklace and then
i did my makeup like cleopatra so i felt like so in character which helps me so much and he goes
you're perfect
the way you are whatever you do in there you there's no way you can mess this up your parents
for you to exist right now it's a miracle that you exist it's one in a you know a hundred billion
chance that you exist right now as you are and that is perfect and then I did the scene and I
fucking I don't care what happens i had the best time
i improv'd with him he asked me for one he goes think of just any line from a play you've done
before i'm like i was you know jewish townsperson b and diary van frank i don't i think it was we
just had to go oh you know or like did you know um and so he was like pick a line from anything
maybe your act and i picked a taylor swift uh line and he goes i'm just gonna ask you to say it in a bunch of different ways like okay do it as if you are
saying goodbye to your son he's going off to war say it like you're reading it off a tombstone
say it like the nazis are torturing you i picked um i might be okay but i'm not fine at all and so
i just did it a bunch of different ways and i fucking and it was an in a studio a darkened
studio with like tons of crew.
I mean, it's like really the spotlight's on you.
And he goes, I said, I go, do I want this to camera or to you?
And he was like, whatever you want.
I go, I want to do it to you.
And so I looked him in the eyes and was like breaking up with him, crying over him.
Did you cry?
Did you get tears?
Oh yeah, I got tears.
I did.
I went there.
It was crazy.
I did.
One of them was I was being tortured by the Nazis
and I had to like pretend like I was being tortured
and that my line was the code word
that was gonna give them the keys to the fucking universe.
And so there was all these prompts
and then we read the scene together.
And afterwards he held my, he walked me out,
held my hand the whole time and said,
I'm gonna say the same thing I say to my granddaughters.
How did you get so beautiful
and i said i think confidence i think that's what it is is like i like like myself now and he said
i think just genetics and i was like okay did he really say that yeah and then he um signed a bunch
of stuff for my parents it was awesome so that was my parents were there no my parents he asked
me if i wanted one of the he had wine you know he winery. And I said, I don't drink, but I would – my parents do, and they would love it.
And so he wrote to EJ and Julie, love Francis.
It was awesome.
We got to go to break.
So that's my story.
I was getting in touch, man.
I was touching.
Yeah, it was awesome.
We're going to go to break, and we'll be right back with something special.
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And we're back.
We're going to get to the news in a second,
but Noah, what did you want to tell me or share with me?
All right.
Well, I have something very fun to share with you.
Let me just get my music.
Okay.
We're going to play a game.
Okay.
And the game is called, is it Taylor Swift or Jeffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales?
Oh, my god.
Are you down for this? Okay. Did you come up with
this game? I did. And
the best thing is
that I have the quiz set up
for besties if they want to play it after
the show. Oh my god.
Amazing. I'll link to it on our
Instagram. But won't they know the answers because we're about to play it?
Well, if they want to test their friends.
Oh, I got it. I love that. Oh, Noah,
that's so fun. Let's do it. I like that
she had an answer for that.
You know what I mean? Her answer was perfect.
It was perfect. I thought
a lot about this. Alright, so again,
you're going to tell me... Is it okay?
I'm okay, but I'm not fine?
If it's Taylor Swift...
Or if it's the
Canterbury Tales. I read the
Canterbury Tales in college.
It was the one thing that I did read.
Why are my eyes here?
Spark notes of.
Okay.
All right.
I think Coppola's speech to you made my eyes tear.
Really?
I don't know why.
That I was perfect the way I am?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's so sweet.
I know it was the best thing you could ever say to someone.
But you could say that to yourself going into anything.
So keep that with you.
Okay.
Let's get to it.
All right.
Who said it? If gold rust rusts what then can iron do oh that's uh chaucer andrew canterbury
okay you're both right that's okay then they compared a woman's love to hell to barren land
where water will not dwell andrew canterbury both of you said canterbury.
Both of you said Canterbury?
Yeah.
You are correct.
Ah, yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Taylor Swift.
I mean, I don't think there were porches in Canterbury Tales, so I'm going to say Taylor Swift, but I don't know what song that is.
You know what? I'm going to, you know what? I don't know what song that is. You know what?
I'm going to, you know what?
This is great.
I'll make it a little harder for you, Nikki.
You have to guess the song.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
It is Taylor Swift.
I'm going to guess it's off her first album, Taylor Swift, and it's a song I don't know.
It's from Mary's song.
Yes.
That's from her first album.
Okay. If you're going to test me,
pull from that album. I don't know it as well.
And pull from any book.
Yeah.
Okay. The man who has
no wife is no cuckold.
Cuckold was very
famous in Chaucer.
That's Canterbury. I remember learning about what
a cuck was back then. Okay.
You're both correct.
Can you imagine Taylor Swift having the word cuckold in a song?
I mean, it would have been faster.
You can thank Tim McGraw.
Getting cucked by Faith Hill.
Yeah, I love those lyrics.
And there are no rules when you show up here.
Bass beat rattling the chandelier.
Oh, a chandelier. That is from
This is Why We Can't Have
Nice Things.
Yes. That's right. Okay, you guys
are out of time. There are no rules when you
show up here. Bass beat
rattling the chandelier.
Can we do another one where it's
Taylor Swift versus Bob Dylan? Yeah.
Sure. Do you want
to come up with it right now? Yeah. Okay, tell me Taylor Swift versus Bob Dylan. Yeah. Sure. Do you want to come up with it right now?
Yeah.
Okay.
Tell me Taylor Swift or Bob Dylan.
You ready?
Yeah.
Shake it off.
Shake it off.
Okay.
You liked it.
We can get to the news.
And I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night now I get fake niceties
oh that is definitely
Taylor Swift
and that is
every night I get
fake niceties
it's from
um
dun dun dun dun
it's uh
either
uh
god
um
tolerate it
mm mm
mm
um
it's off of Evermore
what give me the first letter huh huh Tolerate it. It's off of Evermore.
Give me the first letter.
Heather?
Happiness?
Happiness.
Oh, yeah.
There'll be happiness after you.
There'll be happiness because of you.
Okay.
Yes.
Kindled was the fire with sober face.
Canterbury.
Yeah, Canterbury. That one's close.
Yeah, it's good.
May these memories break our fall.
Taylor Swift.
Okay.
But I don't know what song.
Oh, what's the song?
Yeah.
What is it?
I don't know.
Long Live.
Long Live.
That was the song she wrote for her fans.
I should know that.
I'm sorry.
Bad Swifty.
Neither love nor power admit arrival even for an hour.
Chaucer.
Hannah Berry.
But my Netflix show should be called Bad Swifty.
Have you guys seen Bad Vegan yet?
No.
It's good.
Yeah. It's so stupid.
It could be one episode, but it's insane.
I watched this cake show.
Oh, yeah.
I hear that's like F Boy Island for baking shows.
You know, like making fun of the genre.
It is. I don't even know.
Is this cake? Is it cake? Yeah.
Alright, Noah. Turns out it's cake.
Okay. The show is cake.
It will be. You're tossing out
blame. Drunk on this pain.
Crossing out the good years.
Crossing out the good
years. That's Taylor Swift. Yeah.
Crossing out pain. pain drunk on this fame
actually can we do this actually sing one of the lyrics or sing all the lyrics as taylor swift and
then it'll be harder to play because i think it's too it's very couplet or whatever she's not gonna
sing canterbury it's like no no no but you know what i mean i know she's not but i'm saying it
is harder when it if you give it a little swift what that is drunk on this fame what song is that
my tears ricochet oh yeah my tears ricochet also from uh is that from folklore evermore folklore
yeah yeah yeah that's a good one oh man that one is about she oh that one's that one's a track five
all of like every album her track five is like
kind of her favorite song it's like her way of being like this is my favorite
interesting to pick five i wonder why five no only track five the the track that's number five
yeah yeah i wonder why she picks five because a lot of people pick seven three oh yeah and her
lucky number is 13 so i don't know but maybe she don't want to put out 13 songs. You divide 13 by two.
That's too few for Taylor.
Yeah.
Only two more.
I was confused.
Wait, what do you mean?
I mean, Taylor puts out so many songs.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I have just two more.
We're all here.
The lights and noise are blinding.
Oh, that's Taylor.
Left, yeah.
Wait, hold on. We're all here. The lights and noise are blinding. Oh, that's Taylor. Wait.
Andrew says the answer under Nikki, so I can't hear what Andrew says.
I said Swift.
Okay.
You're right.
And finally, you are the cause by which I die.
That's Canterbury.
Canterbury.
Yeah.
All right.
That will be on our last album.
You know what I mean?
She's too young for such a death lyric. Does she have lot of i really appreciate that quiz that was really fun i just
like talking about oh yeah she's got um well my tears ricochet i believe is the one where she
kind of um talks about committing suicide not her but like the character um so yeah she gets dark
for sure and she has i mean her most sad song is it's the saddest song that's ever been and it's called
uh ron oh wait ronan ronan no well that one's sad too but ronan is about a little boy with cancer
who died and it's so fucking sad i can't even i played it one time when i was doing an instagram
live and i started crying and i you know yeah i'm on pristik that keeps my tears at bay you know
i'm on no medicine right now?
No medicine?
Whoa.
I know, I'm free-balling it out here.
Holy shit.
I know.
And I shot two over par, so.
Oh, yeah.
Andrew shot two over par.
If that means something to you, that's a big deal.
That means I'll never be on any drug again.
Let's get to the news.
You heard it here first.
You heard it here first.
Yeah, you heard it here first.
All right, it's Tuesday, folks.
You know what that means.
It is Tuesday.
Is it Wednesday?
No.
Monday?
No.
Any other day?
No way.
Wait, you're associating shooting two over par with not being on meds?
Too late.
Okay.
Day.
I'm just saying be careful with that stuff.
No, I know.
I'm just fucking around.
All right.
Am I?
It was something that came out pretty quick.
All this swells out there.
That was an insane news start.
Okay, Noah, it goes back to you.
Okay.
People on TikTok are using nasal tanning sprays
and doctors are warning against it.
Have you heard of this trend?
Nasal tanning?
What does that mean?
So basically, they squirt some kind of nasal tanning spray
that is not FDA approved,
and the products claim to have melatonin in our synthetics,
which is a synthetic chemical that acts like the hormones
that our body creates naturally.
Experts say that these compounds have far-reaching side effects
like permanent darkening of the skin, nausea, vomiting,
and even sexual side effects like unwanted erections.
Well, nausea and vomiting could be a side effect for alcohol.
People still do that.
So I'm going to write that one off.
But tanning spray up your...
What is the effect they want to get?
What are they trying to do?
So basically they're saying you spray it up your nose.
It's going to create this synthetic melatonin
and you have to go out and stay in the sun
to get a richer tan.
Oh, so it goes in your system for you to get tanned
so you take this through your nose.
Oh, I thought it was about tanning your nostrils,
almost like bleaching your asshole.
Okay.
That's what I was...
I'm on board.
Anything...
I mean, I always say if there's something...
I'm obviously not on board, but if there's something that could change my skin tone,
and I know that's, like, a weird thing to say, but if I could just do a permanent spray
tan, I would.
But this involves going in the sun.
And it involves, like, permanent changes to your skin and going in the sun.
Yeah, I don't want to do that.
And also...
Did you have a thing?
Melatonin.
Oh, melanin.
Isn't it the same melanin? Because melanin oh melanin isn't it say melanin
because melanin melanin's your skin the melatonin your skin tone it's actually i stand corrected
it's melanotin m-e-l-a-n-o-t-a looks like the news is coming back to me oh yeah we're she's
passing it back um i got a lot of you to manage here. Did you have a thing when you were like probably ninth?
So you were probably in like sixth or seventh.
No, no.
Tanning beds were huge in my high school.
I used to do that.
Especially in Florida.
Girls would go in a tanning bed and go right to the beach.
Like it was, they're all dead now.
Oh, yeah.
Or go to the next tanning salon because you couldn't double up the same one.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
But were kids addicted to Afrin?
Remember that?
No. But I remember maybe hearing about about that it was like a big thing well medicine does get you a little bit
fucked up yeah i mean people take cold medicine they're like i'm out but just that feeling of
of snorting something yeah so i don't know yeah i i hope people aren't doing this it sounds like
they're eating fucking i'm on slippery elm that's my new thing for my throat it's i read it on some you know that new york magazine thing that i love from
the strategist where it's like celebrities say their top 10 favorite things that they can't live
without someone said slippery elm lozenges and drops i put them in my water and it really
makes my throat like so i've always been looking for something that helps my voice and other than
having surgery which i need to do or um oh you thought it was like lube or to get my ring off
i honestly thought it was sexual do you still have the ring on yeah the ring is still on i gotta just
be honest though i have not tried to get it off again aside from just like you know naturally
just going like and it won't budge so i i all of these things that the windex and the um
you know what i think we should do the string theory we should do it we should set up an
insta live and and do all the things and get the ring off yeah i'm why don't we do it on like
wednesday night or something or wednesday i'll be in new york oh um i'll come back wednesday
night from new york so we'll see um okay, next news story. All right, another TikTok-inspired story.
The tag, the hashtag shortking
has more than 329 million views
with some users calling the increase in interest
shortking spring declaring short guys the new kings.
I mean, I like it.
I'm five nine and a quarter half.
It's such a funny, it's hilarious that that's, like, it rhymes.
Yes.
You know, if this were in fall, we wouldn't be talking about it.
No, it'd be short king fall off a high stool.
Wait, wait, why?
Trying to reach the cookies in the cabinet.
These kind of fads go and they come
it's not a horrible thing
I love celebrating short men
and not disparaging them
and having them be
sex symbols because
Zendaya is towering over
they're saying that's what the trend is
is that where it's coming from?
Tom Holland.
Yes, Tom Holland.
That makes sense.
Well, great.
You know what?
It really shouldn't matter.
I mean, I'm very blessed that I am height blind.
And I just don't see height.
And it just does not matter to me.
A guy being short has never mattered.
What do you mean? You're eye blind. You don't see them because you're not. Oh, yeah. It just does not matter to me. A guy being short has never mattered. What? Huh?
What do you mean?
You're eye blind.
You don't see them because you're not.
Oh, yeah.
Like, I just don't know.
I've said this before.
I just don't know when a man is tall or not.
Like, I can be like, okay, yeah, but it just, it doesn't register in me this way some people
do or it doesn't, you know, I went to my freshman year dance.
The first dance I went to, I went with the shortest boy in the school
who was probably shorter than you at that time.
How short were you?
I was second shortest in my grade.
It was me and Clay Elliott, and we were really firing.
I'm taller than Clay now.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, I ended up growing.
He actually shrunk.
It's crazy that you ended up growing.
I really do think a lot of your height stuff was like your parents' divorce.
Of why it stunted my growth?
Like stunted you.
Yeah.
Well, my brothers aren't that tall.
They're taller than me, though.
But it affects people differently.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, especially because they wouldn't let me leave a crib and they would only feed me
turkey every now and then.
You eventually caught up, but do you think that when you're... How old were you when
your parents got divorced?
13.
Yeah.
Which is apparently the worst age.
And that's when you're supposed to be growing.
That's like your growth spurt starts.
And when did you start growing?
Not until you were like 16?
17.
Yeah.
So it seems like something, I would guess something traumatic happened during that time
that would just make you have late puberty.
Like you wouldn't have gotten your period until 17 if you were a girl.
Well, I remember my dad said, I will stay with your mom if you're a pube stay inside your body
and that's why you're checking him every day in the front in the backyard in the sun all right
let's get to the next news story what was i gonna ask about that though wait can i ask one more
thing wait what were we just talking about because i had a question for you short short
fling short oh isn't it crazy that all it takes
is one tall actress to change a whole thing though it just like people aren't and so the
idea that people won't attack the stage oh for chris rock punch yeah it's like no it's you just
need one example and it makes it okay and will smith and by the way he wasn't admonished it
would be another thing if there was a repercussion for what happened.
Well, we don't know.
We haven't checked the news yet.
He probably got another Oscar.
I know.
We're still talking on, this is Monday, by the way.
So yeah, maybe he, I don't want him to take away his Oscar.
I mean, it's a separate issue.
But the fact that he was still sitting there afterwards really surprised me.
Just as a comedian, when you get get heckled or especially if you get assaulted
that person is being pulled out not if he's well i just want to i can't wait to find out what
happened behind the scenes i loved that picture during the commercial break where his publicist
was crouched down next to him oh i didn't see that yeah oh yeah and timmy haddish was talking to uh
jada i can't wait for chris rock to talk about this for 30 minutes. He's gonna fucking...
You know Chris Rock talked shit about Jada Pinkett
a couple years ago when she wasn't
there. So I think it added up.
Sure. So I think Will was
waiting for him to say something.
I don't think he had any plan to do what he did.
Even though he did tweet like,
we're bringing the chaos tonight.
That was the caption for his Instagram
beforehand when it was just pictures of them getting ready for the chaos tonight or like he that was the caption for his Instagram beforehand when it was just like
pictures of them
getting ready for the Oscars
or like you know
like on their way or something
it said something about like
bringing the chaos
I joke that
Kevin Hart's like
man thank God
I made those gay jokes
15 years ago
all right
maybe Will Smith
has a new album coming out
oh yeah
it's a big conspiracy
who does
Will Smith oh yeah I'm surprised Andrew. Oh, yeah. It's a big conspiracy. Who does? Oh, yeah.
I'm surprised Andrew wasn't like,
I just think it's probably Will Smith trying to get.
Yeah, my tinfoil hat.
I did love the tweet with the blinky thing
where it was like Will Smith trying to make people forget,
you know, the men in black.
Oh, yeah.
That makes you forget what happened.
I liked that.
All right.
Let's take a quick break and come back with Why Do I Care?
2025 is bound to be a fascinating year.
It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.
I'm Joel.
Oh, and I am Matt.
And we're the hosts of How To Money.
We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year,
offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially.
Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,
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That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money
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Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your
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Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight
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Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on
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We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop.
Wow, very powerful.
I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist.
When a group of models from the UK wanted my help,
I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry.
I really wanted to be a playboy model.
Lingerie, topless.
I said, yes, please.
Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator.
You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour.
He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it.
He's everywhere and has been everywhere.
It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated.
Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in.
It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny
Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven,
and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused.
I don't know why I'm in jail.
It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.
Addiction took me to the darkest places.
I had an AK-47 pointed at my head.
But one night, a new door opened.
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But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community.
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This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery.
A story told in 12 steps.
Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Dura Podcast Network.
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The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever.
I'm Erica.
And I'm Mila.
And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices Podcast,
brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday.
Historically, men talk too much.
And women have quietly listened.
And all that stops here.
If you like witty women, then this is your tribe.
With guests like Corinne Steffens.
I've never seen so many women protect predatory men.
And then me too happened.
And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay.
Problem.
My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter,
her first day in ninth grade and I called to ask
how I was doing.
She was like,
oh dad,
all they was doing
was talking about
your thing in class.
I ruined my baby's
first day of high school.
And slumflower.
What turns me on
is when a man
sends me money.
Like,
I feel the moisture
between my legs
when a man sends me money.
I'm like,
oh my God,
it's go time.
You actually sent it?
Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices
podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect
podcast network, the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcast, or wherever you go to find
your podcast.
Why do I
care? Why do I care?
Alright, I think you do
care about this.
Taylor Swift will receive an honorary doctorate of fine arts by New York University on May 18th
and will also be speaking at the school's commencement at Yankee Stadium.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Oh, those lucky grads.
The official award that she's going to receive, the title is Doctor of Fine Arts.
Oh, my God. She's going to be a doctor. doctor of fine arts oh my god she's going to be
a doctor yeah dr taylor dr ish no i mean like that dr cosby that's he made people call him doctor
when he got like one of these fake doctorates i know so should we go based off that that it's
real no but i mean like you can get away with calling her that now no i know she's not going
to do that but i'm sure it'll be a talking point um you know that's awesome and um i think this is a way for you to get her to fucking talk
you know but that's still i mean there's i hate being a negative person like that
like you do things because you might get something out of it like you know it makes sense. Did she go to college? I'm not trying to. No.
I mean, that's.
Wow.
But I always say that whoever just reads a ton of books, just do that instead of going
to, I mean, you know, get your degree or whatever.
But the smartest people are people who just read a lot.
Whenever I'm like, wow, that person is so smart.
It always comes out that they read a lot.
Always.
It never isn't that way.
And if you're lazy, just don't go to college,
sell 100 million records, and you could be a doctor too.
You know what I mean?
That's what it shows kids.
That's all you got to do.
You know, you could do it too.
Oh my gosh.
I think like, aren't they teaching a class too on her lyrics?
Yeah, that seems like ridiculous.
But you know, it is fun to have.
I mean, it's fun to analyze art.
There's tons of college classes.
I took guitar.
I took body movement.
There's always those ones that are just fun and get headlines.
If you have Swifties out there that are trying to go to college,
you're going to get a lot of applicants at your university
if you offer a Swifty class.
Yes.
So it's, yeah,
everyone's doing it.
Everyone's winning.
Things are done,
it's rare that things are done
just for the sake of being.
Yeah, you could take it
right in between TikTok and Pinterest.
Pinterest.
I don't know.
Is that a thing?
Pinterest?
Oh, yeah.
I'm just saying,
like, those are the classes now
at college.
Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm sure. I swear I got those are the classes now at college. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I'm sure.
I swear I got TikTok 101.
They're teaching me.
I mean, that would be actually a better skill to have than most degrees is just knowing how to quickly learn a dance.
Gary Vee.
Okay, let's go to our Tuesday segment, Reddit Dump.
Karaoke mode.
This is your Reddit dump.
I mean, I'm on Reddit every fucking night,
and I just wanted to share some things that I've found.
Let's see.
Oh, I loved this.
This was from True Off My Chest, the subreddit,
where people just say things that are off their chest.
Someone said,
Three years after becoming disabled, it's the best thing that ever happened to me nearly three years
to this day as a 19 year old i was at my friend's birthday party when i smoked what i thought was
weed it wasn't it was some synthetic plastic shit i blacked out after a head spin then woke up
uh woke up a four-hour flight away in a hospital with no idea what's going on
turns out i jumped off the fifth story balcony.
Snap my left humerus for vertebrae burst, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like all of this awful things.
I'm just trying to make this a little bit shorter.
I went from being a 19 year old that didn't think about others to someone that can empathize and understand other people's problems.
All I want to do is help.
I won't be able to walk again or go to the toilet normally, but in the last three years, I got engaged,
got into our wheelchair national tennis academy,
and I'm about to start a business that helps young people with disabilities accept themselves.
I'm proud of who I've become, and I wouldn't change anything.
That was just so beautiful for someone to have that much perspective already.
You think it's a girl?
You automatically think it's a girl?
I went he.
That's so funny.
Where did you go?
I don't know why I picked he.
It's kind of like when you just think. Is it a she thought she it's unclear or they i guess but uh it's a
it's a he oh or it's someone who obviously you know identifies as a man based on their little
avatar thing um does it show who his wife is i'm not saying that to be mean i'm just wondering no
i'm always amazed by the people that like like marry someone
i i mean that their dick might not work you know what i mean yes i don't know i'm just i'm really
like i'm always wondering what's going on there honestly you do not need a dick that works i guess
to have a good time in bed you can fucking ride their knee first of all but they could hump their
knee they could and they have they have ways that disabled people
can have sex there's sex swings there's like there's fun stuff and even if he doesn't have
a working dick what do lesbians people always with this yeah how do lesbians get off then i
think it's awesome i think i think you know short um short king summer um in this is from old school
cool in 1955 author john steinbeck wrote a letter
to marilyn monroe asking for an autograph photo for his nephew um he wrote dear marilyn in my
whole experience i have never known anyone to ask for an autograph for himself it is always for a
child or an ancient aunt which gets very tiresome as you know better than i it is therefore with a
certain nausea that i tell you that i have a nephew-in-law who lives in austin texas whose name is john he has his foot in the
door of puberty but that is only one of his problems you are the other i know that you are
not made of celestial ether but he doesn't a suggestion that you have normal functions would
shock him deeply and i'm not going to be the one to tell him on a recent trip to texas my wife made
the fatal error of telling John
that I had met you.
He doesn't really believe it,
but his respect for me has gone up
even for lying about it.
Now I get asked for all kinds of silly favors,
so I have no hesitation in asking one of you.
Would you send him, in my care,
a picture of yourself, perhaps in pensive,
girlish mood, inscribed to him by name
and indicating that you are aware of his existence.
He is already your slave.
This would make him mine.
If you do this,
I will send you a guest key
to the ladies' entrance of Fort Knox
and furthermore,
I will like you very much.
Yours sincerely, John Steinbeck.
I just liked that.
And I read all the comments.
They followed up on this one.
His nephew never got the photograph.
That's signed.
What did you like about it? Oh. i liked how funny it was and how well written obviously by john steinbeck
but i liked um you know honestly when this comes to this stuff when it comes to a celebrity doing
a favor for someone else or going out of their way to do something all it does is it really just
goes it makes me like you
a lot like doing these like i liked that part where he says and furthermore it will i will like
you very much it was just so honest and um and i also like just it was just a beautiful it was just
cool to read something written by one of the greatest american authors that is more of a
casual thing and that was laced with hilarity and him also kind
of you know putting his tail between his legs to ask marilyn monroe when he's john steinbeck it was
just it has all the things i like no i i enjoyed it i i do think it's interesting like if it wasn't
john steinbeck to me it sounds like a horny man using a nephew to get out his shit right doesn't
it like if you really like let's do it like he's like, and my boy really loves you.
He really is just going through puberty.
He wants a hot, pensive photo with your tits out.
Like, he really, like, yeah.
And his son has the same, or his nephew has the same name, John.
Yeah, little Johnny, like, it's his dick.
I don't believe it.
I think it was his penis.
It's not his nephew.
Is John Sandvik nephew was he a homosexual
because to me it sounds like a gay man oh well asking it's that's how much unsexual it seemed
to me but i don't know um i was thinking woman but it did make me think of my wilco weekend because
i'll get into it my wilco weekend of going on saturday to film carpool karaoke with jeff tweedy uh uh glenn uh coachy and john steerrett um three two band uh
you know three band members from wilco and um jeff was driving i was shotgun and if you don't know
i'm just like a gigantic wilco fan it they're up there with taylor swift and dave matthews for me
and um he is just uh i i told him in the car like you know my first obsession was dave
matthews in high school and i got into wilco in college because as a dave matthews fan like
i feel like it indicates if you like dave matthews you you have a good taste in music but it's it
doesn't have like the poetic like um it doesn't have the emotional maturity maybe that i was
looking for that wilco really brought.
And Wilco, it just has meant so much to me.
So it was, I got to meet my hero.
He was not disappointing at all.
He was the greatest.
He was so warm and kind.
And we had the best day together.
And I brought my parents along too.
And they are now friends with Jeff and his wife Susie.
After we wrapped, we went, they invited us to their loft where they record
everything to just go hang out
and John came too John Steer
Glenn had to go pick up his son
but like they were all just gonna like disperse
and leave like we didn't have to still keep hanging out
and they invited us to go to their
their loft
where they record everything they have hundreds
of guitars all their
merch all like all of the coolest posters.
It was a Wilco museum,
and my parents are obsessed with Wilco too.
And now my mom is texting with Susie,
Jeff's wife.
We are great friends with their family.
Jeff even made a joke,
he was on vacation with my family.
My dad and mom made me so proud.
They were so cool and just made me look cool chris was also there and did the same thing of just making me look like
they just we just all wanted to be friends was it hard for your dad not to want to like i could see
your dad just grabbing an acoustic no he he even got behind glenn's drums because glenn was like
you've got to check out my new drum set it's the one i've always wanted i would love for you to
play him and my dad is a good drummer but he even was like i don't i feel ridiculous but my dad would got to like
you know talk a little guitar with jeff that's like even just yeah just damning it up jeff
invited me to come to this jeff and suzy invited me to come to solid sound it's their festival that
they do a music and comedy festival in um in may and i'm going now. And they also said,
never worry about tickets the rest of your life.
Like, can you believe that I,
me and my family have like,
we're friends with like our heroes.
It's nuts.
And he signed my guitar.
And this was one thing that I wanted to like show.
I haven't looked at it yet
because I didn't want to watch him
while he was signing it
because it was so awkward.
I hate when, you know,
sometimes people look at while I'm writing them something and I'm just like he was signing it because it was so awkward. I hate when, you know, sometimes people look at
while I'm writing them something
and I'm just like,
oh,
I'm going to see their face
go from like nice
to like,
okay,
you're taking up too much room.
Like,
I just write my name,
bitch.
Did he sign Dave Matthews?
Hilarious.
Well,
I'm thinking this guitar
might be broken
because it fell out of the car
and I haven't opened it yet.
So I'm thinking it might have
a fucking crack in it.
You haven't looked yet?
No, I'm too scared to look. To Nikki. Oh, here it is. That's awesome. Yeah and I haven't opened it yet. So I'm thinking it might have a fucking crack in it. Wait, you still haven't looked yet? No, I'm too scared to look.
To Nikki.
Oh, here it is.
That's awesome.
Yeah, I haven't looked yet.
I just put it in the bag because I was like, I can't take it.
Oh, that's the one you got in Mexico.
Yes.
It says, To Nikki, our best friend.
And then John signed it, Glenn signed it, and Jeff signed it.
It's funny, he did the bestie kind of thing.
Yeah.
We should hang that in here.
Oh no, I'm going to play that
the rest of my life. And he also, I got his book
How to Write One Song and he signed
this, he signed my other book too but I think
I lost it in the car.
He said, to Nikki, such a great
day, thank you. And he also signed his
biography too and he signed a book, I had
him sign all my depression pills
and all the bottles because
he's a depressed anxious guy too so it's like kind of like a bit but it was just so fun any
questions we got a final thought uh you sang with him your feelings on singing with uh your third
i guess favorite artist oh my god it was kind of a bummer because right before we started singing
we did this bit where I was like screaming.
It was like a really funny bit.
Oh, so it hurt your voice a little?
I fucking was hoarse the entire day.
But it kind of gave you, oh, but when you sang?
I couldn't hit any of the notes and like, it's fine. I got away with it.
You probably sounded cooler.
But it was, there was a moment where I got to sing my favorite song, She's a Jar, with
him and play it.
And I even told him like how much it meant to me and he- Is it a funeral song? Yeah, it's a Jar, with him and play it. And I even told him how much it meant to me.
Is it a funeral song?
Yeah, it's a funeral song.
I even talked about that.
My friend knows that that's the song
that is supposed to be played.
I wrote you.
I said, remind him to play it live at your funeral,
which implies that you're going to die.
Before him.
Gladly.
He's such a kind person. So wait, so go through the singing. So how nervous were you to sing? There's a ton of, he's such a kind person but so wait so go through the singing so how nervous
were you to sing there's a ton of he's driving there's tons of cameras up we're having really
good conversations in between songs and i saved she's a jar for like kind of the end because i
was like i don't even want to make him like watch me how obsessed i am with the song because it's
also a song that i told him like i only listen to like alone i don't really like share it with
other people it's just like my it's like masturbatory in a way like it's just so personal
to me yeah and i was even like i don't even know if i want you here for this jeff like even though
you say you know like it was that much but then it started and we were just driving around chicago
and i really did the best i could in that moment to forget I was on
TV to forget about what I was doing later on in terms of like the sketch we had to shoot that
I was kind of nervous about whether I had been funny today all these things that are swirling
my head and I was just like just fucking soak this up you are singing your favorite song that
means so much to you with the man who wrote it. And I just was in it.
And afterwards, one of the producers from the show who's done a bunch of these said to me,
you, the she's a jar moment was one of the most insane things I've ever watched.
I've never seen someone go get that emotional on the show or like
actually have that kind of response.
Like for whatever it was that I let go of,
like you could tell that something came,
the sheen,
the like the me trying to be anything came away.
And it was just like,
I just wanted to just feel it and just never forget it.
Like really wanted to screenshot it in my mind forever.
And it is in my mind forever, even though so much of that day was just, it was just
the coolest.
So you're saying, you know, we'll kind of go through it because like, are you looking
at him?
He's singing with you.
He would not.
He would not look over at me.
I think he was just too, you know, he was driving first of all.
So he's driving.
So he's driving.
So it wasn't i i
there were times where i was like do i make eye contact with them should we sing together but
i think it was so the artist drives and then he asks you what your favorite songs are no it was
like you sing to him or is it no it was kind of like me like running like i was kind of like
steering the conversation and kind of um because he was driving and like it's his music and i felt like i was the one that brought him there and had so much to so i kind of set him up
to talk about music and stuff and also shared my own stories but we just had a fucking great time
and glenn and john were so goddamn nice and like these guys are my friends like they're truly i
love them so much and it's just so often you meet people that mean so much
to you and they just aren't what you want them to be but he was just such a normal guy and the way
that they were were hospitable to my family afterwards and and i kept being like oh my god
they probably just want to wrap this up we were at their studio afterwards for two hours just
shooting the shit talking and laughing and they're to watch the reality show. They're so excited about it. When I finally said like, goodbye, we were like giving
our hugs. And I, you know, just walked up to Jeff and I was like, yeah, you know, like that we had
hugged a bunch at that point, because we wrapped and all these things. And at that point, like,
he was just like, I feel like we're, we're friends now. Right. And it was just like,
you know, there was a joke of like, oh, we're best friends now and I'm in Wilco and all these kind of things.
But it cemented that of like,
our families have combined together
and we're just people that are hanging out.
What a beautiful thing to bring your family though.
And like, I don't know, trust in them
in a big moment in your life.
That means a lot to them.
That isn't just about you performing.
It's like a together thing that,
I feel like there's something with your family that i've noticed like you were this star like you your
whole thing was about like kind of becoming a star to like show mom and dad that you can do it kind
of thing and then i think as we get older we're like oh no like it's a group like it could be a
group thing i don't have to be the star.
We're all the star, and we're actually more of a star together.
And you made me.
Yeah.
And they did make me look so cool, and they are so funny.
They are cool, too.
They're just cool people.
They're so cool.
I'm so proud of them because there's so many times that your parents can be cringe,
and your parents can let you down, but I'm just really just so –
I just told them afterwards like you they because
they were so thankful and just like i can't believe you involved us i'm like i can't believe
that i have parents that i would ever want to involve with my favorite band and like be like
meet my parents and know that that's not going to be a burden to them even though it might sound
as soon as you meet my parents it's just like you're relaxed it might seem like oh parents
so i gotta like kind of your. Your dad's like putting on,
I don't know,
like a weighted blanket
in front of a fire,
like I feel like.
That's so nice.
And then you get so hot
that you can't take the blanket off
and you die.
And the blanket's talking
about Cincinnati a lot.
No, dude,
your parents,
they put you at ease.
That's like the one thing.
They made me who I am
of like,
if anyone ever thinks I'm cool
or nice or
friendly or personable or you know that's that's all from them i realized like after this especially
was um just how just everything i was in that car before they met my parents and how much like we
all got along it was just oh it was just more of that you just saw where it come it just all made i could see kind of them all doing the math of like oh this is where
she gets it from because it was just my parents are so awesome and um and also my boyfriend just
so proud to like this is the first time i'm like this is my boyfriend yeah you know and it was just
i was so proud to have him because he was so cool and we were all we're all such big wilco fans that it was just it was one of the it was the best day of all of my mom and dad's life for sure outside of like
you know kids and and and being born and um i'm just imagining though like conan the the kind of
psychopath musician that like he's your dream and you bring your parents and he's still a piece of shit
in front of your own family it would be like there are musicians that could still step up
there are people i don't want to meet because i care about their art so much that i don't want
to be let down but this was i just knew i wouldn't be because i just know i just seem like chicago
people through and through like that midway like i don't know just good people they were they were awesome and now my friends are
my parents are friends with the tweeties I mean it's just unreal and it's the greatest gift I can
give them is like allowing my parents to have a taste of this kind of like life of meeting these
their heroes because my parents are just as cool as those people they just chose a different path
in life and oftentimes so many people are that's why like i don't even like to
put people who made it on a pedestal because we're so many people could make it if they had the means
to make it and i just am one of those people that had the means to make it so like i'm never like
oh i can't be friends with people that aren't famous because everyone you all could be famous
people who listen to the show are like some of the greatest most interesting people i'll ever a hundred times more interest thousands of
times i'd much rather talk about your life than my life yes like everyone i meet in st louis i'm
like no i don't want you don't have a comedy yeah it was fine whatever but like how's it working at
boeing like like yes like with these plane crashes recently,
like there was a huge crash in China.
Really?
Like,
like I'm just finding out from someone that actually like works at Boeing,
like the inner thing.
And I'm like,
no,
this is what I'm into.
This is cool,
man.
This is like,
like good shit.
Like,
obviously it's sad,
but people think that show people that are become famous or somehow more
special.
It's just like,
no,
they just got lucky.
And there's tons of people that deserve famous are somehow more special. It's just like, no, they just got lucky.
And there's tons of people that deserve to be in that world and kind of upheld as so cool and better than us.
Or whatever.
We saw it at the Oscars.
These people get away with everything because they're fucking famous.
Jeff Tweedy just slaps your dad.
Oh, my God.
He'd love it.
He'd love it.
He would love it.
So make sure you check that out when it airs i don't know when it's going to air carpool karaoke um with me and wilco because that was just an extraordinary day
thank you so much for listening to the podcast today well i'll be in new york tomorrow um and
then we'll be back here in studio on thursday but um we'll have two more shows this week we
love you so much thank you for listening to the show. Don't be cuh. And Jack McBrayer.
Are you asleep?
I think so.
Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer.
If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help.
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Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show,
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Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics,
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Welcome to Decisions Decisions,
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Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF,
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