The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #195 The Story I Want To Tell

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

Nikki is being honest right off the bat with something that she feels embarrassed asking. Andrew admits he also had doubts about the topic of her question. To get pumped for their Austin and New Orleans dates they talk about some fun stuff to do while there. You Heard It Here First, Nikki and Andrew share their thoughts on cheap hacks for the face, side effects of social media and why couples argue. The brutal honesty closes the show as Nikki talks about her admiration for Taylor Tomlinson that was at first hard to be open about. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts people my people what's up this is quest Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far.

I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Thank you. Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation.

Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I'm Nikki Glaser. Andrew Collin is here.

Noah is here. Noah, I'm not going to lie. I never remember how to pronounce your last name and it's so embarrassing. Like I just, I can't tell you that in person. Like I have to do it on air when we're like, for some reason it's easier for me to say really embarrassing things and things I'm ashamed of

into a microphone when it's like live than to like personally say to you I honestly never say your last name because I just freak out because I haven't memorized how to pronounce it. So I'm going to guess and you just let me like, if there was a gun to my head, I was going to say. Dumb idiot.

Oh, what did you say? No, that's it. Aviar. Aviar, yeah. I'm going to remember it from now on because i'm always going to think of avenue because it's always like avi or you know like i think of eight but i know that you hate birds so it's not avian i don't hate all birds i just hate pigeons which are of the avian family so that's how i'm going to remember it that's how i that's literally how

i do everything and that does not mean I'm a bad friend by the way like Noah's one of my best friends but me it it just it's one of those things that has been on my mind for so long and I never am sure of it so I always just don't say it but I just want to get honest about it because it doesn't mean I'm a bad person it doesn't mean I don't love Noah I forgot my bet like one of my best friend Robin's birthdays yesterday I forgot Kirsten's birthday this year I forgot my mom's birthday this year I'm not a bad person because I forget birthdays I love them just as much as they love me I'm gonna forgive myself for it and I hope that they forgive me too but I just there's certain things sometimes that I just go you're like I have so much shame about like it's it's shameful that I don't know how to pronounce your last name

and then it's like gets so like can I tell you something really embarrassing and then I feel too embarrassed yeah it's glasser for a long time I didn't know how to pronounce my own last name either whoa that kind of makes me feel better but like also

it's I don't know tell me about that Nikki okay you feel better you didn't know. Tell me about that. Did I make you feel better too, Nikki? Did I make you feel better? You didn't know Noah's last name. Yeah. No. Did I steal your joke?

Honestly, I don't think I've ever said her last name once out loud until, I still haven't. Because you didn't know how to say it. Do you know now how to say it? Say it, Andrew. What's my last name? Say it, bitch. Avior. Say my name. Say my name. Avior. You got it. Avior. Like Dior. I'm gonna say

the or. Is it wrong to say the or? It's A-V-I-O-R for our listeners who may not know. Is it wrong to say, is it Avior? Because I would say the or to say is it avior because i would say the or or is it avior avior i used to have a there are a lot of oh sorry i used to have a language teacher and she would go every time she would take attendance she would go noah avoir she would be like so dramatic about it. It sounds like because avoir, A-V-O-I-R is the one of the, you know, most popular verbs, most used verbs in French. It's to have.

It means to have. So like you say when you say like J, J apostrophe A-I, it's like I have. And that's a conjugation of avoir, A-V-O-I-R. So it does look very um French so I'm glad to have that out of the way like that is a burden to me that I have like I've just been avoiding for so long and it's so interesting to me that I could never tell like I have asked you about it before and um and I kind of like swallowed my pride in asking you we've had this conversation before and I got the answer and I think I didn't create a mnemonic device to remember it and so then i was like fuck wait like do you ever do that where you're like

clear there you like get some information you're like oh good and then you are so obsessed with all the pomp around it that you forget actually the thing like you get direction somewhere and you're like thanks man and you're like thinking about remembering the direction so you don't actually remember you know what i mean so i need a ways for your name is what i'm saying i need a gps um but there are embarrassing things when it comes to like being a human being and it doesn't mean you're a bad person like i think that's so much of i'm always fearing that the things i do are all proof that I'm selfish. I am a narcissist. I am only out for myself and I'm a bad person. And there's like, oh, I think I'm always trying to collect things that support that belief about myself. And so I was just talking with a good friend, Ian Fidance. He came

by my hotel. I'm in New York City. And old friend of the UUP days, Ian Fidance. He came by my hotel. I'm in New York City. And old friend of, you know, the UUP days, Ian Fidance. I haven't seen him in two years. And we were talking about, honestly, like, we both are, you know, people who, like, love recovery programs. And we were talking about, like, struggling with just substance abuse, whether it be, you know, food, pot, alcohol, you know, sex, porn, whatever it is, we were talking about all that. And really, I was just trying to, what we arrived at was like, just it all, all this behavior stems from feeling like you are not a good person and wanting to alleviate that feeling of like feeling like anxiety because you're either scared or shamed or anything.

And the only way to alleviate it is to get a little hit of dopamine. And when you reach for that thing to make yourself feel better, you're just all you are in that moment that you're doing something that is addictive or wrong or illegal is you're just trying to be a person who isn't in pain and why would you ever be mad at a person that's just trying to not be in pain and like I just think that's a great way to I don't know I just want to put that out there is like if whatever anyone out there is struggling with today whether it be like oh I you know I I drove drunk a little bit last or that one time and I'm so ashamed of that I'm never gonna I shoplifted once I I have trouble cleaning my room everything you do is you're just trying your best like you're

just a person who's in pain so like let it go. And so I'm just, it's like a nice reminder for myself that when I feel, I think that if I wouldn't have met with Ian and had that conversation, I think I would have just said, and Noah's here and not said it. But I'm just like,

I'm not a bad person because I don't know how to pronounce your last name. I love you. It doesn't, it's just because I don't know your last name and I haven't, you know, I just felt really bad for getting my friend's birthday last night

certain people react the way Noah is she would never be like how can you not know my but there are certain people that you know I was that way for a little while with Collins because people add S on my last name and I'm like are you even my friend how do you

not know that I don't have an S and those kind of people it's tough because that's why we walk on eggshells when we we want to bring it up but a lot of people react poorly to the truth so well i don't know what to really do when someone reacts that just came out what's that well we talk a lot about this you and i talk a lot about this actually on the show of like you you and i are both scared of being someone being mad at us being criticized having it come back to us well will you do this or the person us having to walk on eggshells because you're so scared of the response you're gonna get from telling the truth right and i actually just

read a study on Reddit the other day that came out that said, and I'm paraphrasing because I only read a third of things and I probably only read a third of this headline, but it said that we underestimate how much people want constructive criticism. We are living in a society where we are so scared to offend people. We are also so fragilely egoed ourselves that we project that other people don't want constructive criticism. So studies have shown that we bite our tongue more often than not. And we shouldn't be doing that because what people actually do crave is, hey, you know, and there's a way to present it, obviously, but like, I love what

you've been doing. But here's a way that I it, obviously, but like, I love what you've been doing. But here's a way that I can love what you're doing even more. And like, you're not a bad person because you did it this other way. You're not wrong. Like, even when it comes to sex, like I kind of there have been times in romantic situations for me where I am scared to voice what I like in bed because I don't want that person to feel like shame about doing it a way that I didn't like and it's so stupid because like that one time that I was giving a hand job and my stupid ring that I can't get off like scratched the person like I there was a part of me that turned into 17 year old Nikki that is like I'm not perfect and I fucked up and like he

hates me because I did this thing I'm doing wrong. And there was like a flash of like this deep shame of like, I'm bad because I did something wrong. And I, you know, I almost like started pouting and was just like, I don't even want to do it anymore. But then I'm like, that is helpful for me to know. So this person, I can give them more pleasure in the way they want that they're not doing this because they think I'm a bad person. And it's just so great to get older and forgive yourself for things. And I think you're right, Andrew. It's like, there's so many times you don't say things because you're worried about the response. And those people that do go, oh my God, you don't even know how to pronounce my last name. It's Glazer. You've been saying Glasser. You're my

best friend. How do you not know that? The truth is that's on them. If people get mad at you because they're trying to make you feel like a bad person because honestly, they feel like a bad person in some way in their life and they are projecting. It always comes down to that because people who forgive themselves for being humans and being flawed don't have that same aggression towards other people. So when you are met by someone who lashes out at you, like, Andrew, I've done it to you in the past. I'm trying to get better at it. But this is something we've dealt with where you've been scared to confront me about something or to say something that you need or want from me because you're scared I'm going to say no. Or like I'm going to say no, which actually is an answer. And I'm'm gonna say no or like you're i'm gonna say no which actually is an answer and i'm

entitled to say no which is in your like we dealt with that which is another whole bag of bullshit but like when i respond in a way that is like andrew can't believe you didn't know that like why would you do that and like that is me a hundred percent me being anxious that day because of some other shit. Like, and I'm taking it on a new because you are the easiest, like much like what you grab to soothe your anxiety. Like for me, it's porn or masturbating or overeating or, you know, these things are things that get my dopamine up so that I don't have to feel anxious. Sometimes the thing that I grab that is better than drinking for me, better than kicking my dog, whatever else might happen if I didn't do those things. Sometimes that thing that's the least harmful thing I can do for myself and others is being a little bit of a bitch to Andrew. And that doesn't mean that I chose the right thing. In that moment, that was the only thing I could do. And this takes us really to the Will Smith thing, because I've been thinking a lot about this. And what I realized

was Will Smith is someone who is in immense pain, immense pain, because you don't do that unless you are. You just don't. And I'm getting to a place of real empathy for him because this is what happened with Will Smith. This is what I think based on how I respond to things and how I've lashed out. When he got that look from Jada after he laughed and processed the joke and he got that look from Jada, for him, we all are met with choices in life of like, what am I going to do? I'm feeling anxious right now. I'm cornered. And there's a couple options for me, right? Sometimes for me, those options are smoking pot that I do have in my drawer, in my room still. I know there's some pot that I haven't done since August. Or it's eating this

entire thing of hummus with my finger and kind of numbing out. For me, sometimes I overeat the hummus and I eat way more to the point where I feel like I'm sick because that to me was the better choice for me in those two. Those are the only two things I had to soothe my anxiety, right? Now for Will Smith in that moment, he is in a similar situation. He does not have, he can't meditate. He doesn't have the options to soothe his anxiety in that moment. First of all, he has anxiety about fucking, he's already had jokes about Jada made. He already knows that he's going to feel the wrath of her for like her being in a bad mood because of these jokes later on or

whatever's going to happen afterwards. He's already thinking of that because there's been a couple jokes already, right? We don't know what else is going on in their lives. And then they get to that moment and he's feeling anxiety about the ward coming up. They get to the moment. Chris Rock says the joke. Will laughs uncomfortably because he's probably just thinking about other things. Didn't even hear what Chris Rock said. He looks over at Jada and he sees the face that she gives him.

And what he knows is on the other side of that look, whether it's her punitive silence in the limo on the ride to the party whether it's weeks of her shutting him out whether it's her whatever it is right then he had two options deal with chris rock and lash out at him and like get rid of this anxiety by doing that or deal with what is on the other side of that look from jada. That was his two options, fight or flight in that moment. And he chose deal with the Chris Rock thing. Now, okay, so now he has a new corner. He's choosing that one because it literally is less painful to him than whatever is on the other side of that Jada look, which leads me to believe their relationship and what is going on there is messier than we know because he chose punching Chris Rock over dealing with that Jada look.

So we don't know what's going on in the relationship, but I'm guessing it's not great. So then he goes to Chris Rock, and now he has another corner he's backed into. Do I say something back to him, or do I punch him? Let's say those are his two options. He has very, a couple, these are like, you know, you're in a car, and and you see a car crash in front of you and you either go around it or you push on your brakes what are you going to do swerve which we always have these options which one am I going to survive more and for him the option that was better in that moment that he chose was punching slapping slap punching I think Will Smith because either he didn't have the right words

or, oh, sorry, Chris Rock. Either Will Smith did not have the right words or he isn't a man that could put his anger into words in that moment, or he thought that maybe his words were gonna make him look stupider or affect his life and his livelihood and cause more pain than the punch. But he only

did the best that he could in that situation. And I'm serious. Like, I know that's like, that's the best he could do. Guys, literally, yes. That was all Will Smith could do in that situation. I am not angry at him for it. And you know what? The Academy not pulling him out was the best they could fucking do and you know what it wasn't it wasn't fucking good they should have done something and they had a lot of time to make those decisions to pull him out and to have repercussions for what happened what do you mean by best though it was out of the options he had in that moment yeah in those options like he he didn't i know you're like well he could have just what about the option of not saying anything but i think saying but for him that option was more painful but it's the best

out of two it's the least not best being the least harm out of the two options being the best the devil the the best for him because in that moment he didn't have any other option like if he did if he had the ability to stay like he would have no i think like i always say about like when people i think chris rock epitomizes every single joke he's heard over the last 10 years especially recently about his wife no will smith um will smith what's that no but chris rock epitomizes sorry you're saying chris we keep no no i am i'm saying it right yes what i'm saying though is that at that moment there's been so much build-up we have before that moment that chris rock could have been any like he was just the

the the face of a million jokes will smith has heard over the last 10 years and what i have learned is well that was the corner he was backed into a corner that was the final showdown for him that was it like that was the moment where it was like either i yeah i know but i've heard staying quiet for will smith before with all the jokes that were made against what jada pinkett smith before when he was staying quiet and put up with it, that was him choosing quiet over punching someone. Quiet over punching someone. And it got to the point where staying quiet and putting up with whatever Jada was going to – whatever was on the other side of that Jada look was more harmful to him than doing what he did.

He did the thing that was going to cause the least harm to him, which ended up being punchingris rock but that's what i'm saying it's like you're right it was all yeah the other thing about will smith is that you know i've heard this from other people so obviously i'm just repeating what i've heard but in his book it talks about his own mother getting abused by his father and he never stood up for his own mother so he never stood up for the woman that he loved that he respected that that was that that he cared about the most in the world which is now obviously jada even though oh she fucking cheats on him how could he fucking care about her life is weird you can still fucking care about someone like that yes that's what was all yeah it all culminated to that moment and it's he didn't have an option he didn't know it all culminated to that moment. And it's, he didn't have an option.

He didn't know it was going to be that moment. He wasn't saving. It wasn't, he, it was a volcanic explosion that was rumbling for a while. And that was the moment. But we do this all the time. Like there are times when I will get into a fight with my boyfriend over the tiniest little thing because it happens at the moment that my defenses are weakened. I'm on my period. I'm more emotional. I have been

pushing things down that I'm upset about. And it all comes out over this dumb thing. It's not about the fucking whatever it is, him making the wrong turn. It's about all the other shit. It was just the thing that that it was the best he could do and will smith is someone who's in pain and was doing the best he could do in that moment which wasn't very good but it was all he could do honestly the annoying thing that i see is like you know so he finally stands up for his woman right and then everyone goes god he's so emasculated he just listens to whatever his woman like you can't win like you stand up for your for your wife right obviously the slap could have gone about differently but like the idea that like

oh you're such a fucking pussy for being tough you know what i mean like the guy can't win so either he sits there and he takes it and he's emasculated or he hits the guy and he's also emasculated and all these like tough alpha males no, you don't listen to your woman there. You just take the joke. It's like, I don't know, this whole like meathead culture about. And yet he's he actually got up and stood up for her. So I don't. Yeah, I, you know, it wasn't the right way to stand up because if you really if you would

have had time to think this over, it was just him being in a car accident and there was a crash in front of him does he swerve yeah or does he put on his brakes we always have these like two things that we get aside in like split second and he chose one that was like either either way was going to be messy for him he didn't have he didn't have it into it if you're premeditated if he had ideas of like if someone comes at jada i don't give a fuck who it is tonight's the night even that premeditation is the best he can do in that moment no i know i'm just saying it's it's it's an interesting way to look at it you know like because if it was scheduled i'm feeling for everyone in this i everyone's doing their best and some people are

people can't help their brains and what they do. I just got to remember that before I get on, you know, just start hating everyone. And everyone's doing the best they can do. All right, let's go to break and come back with a fun show of news and laughs. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive

financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week,

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers.

I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests, people like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to many questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.

We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator.

You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager.

Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community.

And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Alright, we're back. Let's get to the news. Wait, before we get to the

news, let's get to your tour. Oh, thank you for that. Tour date's coming up, you guys. We are going to Austin, Texas. We are also going to New Orleans. Austin is April 14th, you guys. We are going to Austin, Texas. We are also going to New Orleans. Austin is April 14th, I believe. Yeah. New Orleans is...

Yep. New Orleans is April 21st. April 21st. We're going to just talk about these cities a little bit because when we talked about Winnipeg, it got people interested. I never learn about cities before I go there. Maybe this will help me come up with some jokes for places. a little bit because when we talked about Winnipeg, it got people interested. And I just like learning about a little, I never learn about cities before I go there.

And maybe this will help me come up with some jokes for places. I want to talk about Austin. These are some things I just came up with. 10 facts about Austin, Texas, you didn't know. And if you might just like knee jerk, want to plan a trip to Austin, there is, this is part of the Moon Tower Comedy Festival

that I'm doing. It's a whole weekend of all the best comics in the country coming together and doing shows. What a great place to just go plan a girls trip, plan a romantic weekend. Just go by yourself if you're a comedy fan and just binge comedy. So I'll be there Thursday night doing two shows. But there's comedy live podcasts happening all weekend long. And just i really recommend it if that sounds good to you plan a plan to trip around it so um austin has the only nude beach in all of texas hippie hollow is a clothing optional beach located on lake travis oh my god i love that have you ever been to a nude beach just in like layer while wearing layers topless i just love the idea of a guy that puts on a

winter coat and goes through that. Have you been topless before? Wearing Israel or something? No. It was in St. Martin. Oh! I would love to go to a nude beach.

I don't want to get sand in my vagina though because it already does when you're wearing a swimsuit. And it's just like having sand in your sandwich, which, you know, I got one. Austin. Let's see.

I had no idea. That's why they called it sandwich. These aren't interesting. God, these are the worst. Austin, if there's, okay, these are all the worst facts it's just like promoting things um the texas state capitol building is the second largest capitol building who cares austin is one of the sunniest cities in america out of 365 days austin gets an average of 300 days of sunshine that's's awesome. I lived in Boulder and they also,

for a year, I lived in Boulder going to school and that was also a place that celebrated 300 days of sunshine. And man, does that affect your fucking mood? You know? Kirsten is one of those lights

that she sits in front of in the winter when she's in Kansas City. The red light thing? To like give her, I don't know if it's red light, but you know, it's just like for people with seasonal affect disorder or whatever that like and she says it really works um i definitely feel a mood shift when the sun is out but i'm also one of those people that loves the

rain because it gives me an excuse to be depressed which i think actually makes the most fun i had in austin i took a pontoon boat down lake travis that was cool. And then you go on a, I don't know if you've ever done, have you ever done a rope swing? It's. Like I did ropes courses like, you know, in middle school and stuff for like team. Oh, those were.

A rope swing like into the lake. Yeah, into the lake. A rope swing where you like let go. And there's video of me. Oh no, I've never done it. I was,

I've never been less grace. Like you only fall 10 feet, but you would have thought I fell 6,000 feet the way I hit the water. It's like, I hit it in a way that some it looked like god threw me down to try to kill me but it was cool it was fun uh i wouldn't i but yeah no people do it all the time the best is like you see those videos where the person lets go a little early and uh they missed the lake completely which is uh oh yeah i mean you know? I have done a rope swing off a yacht. And that's not to brag, but it is. It was off...

Amy rented us the Seinfeld's yacht in the Bahamas for all of her girlfriends. And we had to take a seaplane there. And we were on this amazing fucking yacht where they... I remember they had a whole boat crew below deck that they ironed our sheets, which I thought was like, why are they ironing our sheets? That's so stupid. But it was the nicest experience of my life. But they had a rope swing that went off the thing. And I remember being so scared that I was going to let go at the wrong time and just like slam into the side of it and just like flop in.

And like, it's just ropes and like thinking your upper body strength is like more than you like i always overestimate how strong i am but i looked pretty good actually um i should post it yeah um and then austin i'm just i mean austin is just like a cool fucking city the people are cool comedy is always great there i haven't been back in so long and i've moved the state a million times so like I'm so appreciative of anyone coming out to the shows and, um, I'm going to have a lot of comedians and like, um, you're going to be there, but I'm going to have like a lot, like I think Dr. Drew's coming to one show. I like, I'm getting a lot of like the comedians that are in town are coming to my show. So there's going to be an added element of me feeling like very excited to like perform for my peers because

there's usually when you're performing, there's not other comedians in town like scoping out your show and so that'll be fun too and um yeah i went on stage last night for the first time since like december at the cellar and at the cellar i did three sets dude it was so fun i'm working on this new bit that i have i always knew i was going to talk about this one thing that happened to me and it was always so embarrassing and kind of like shameful and something that I thought that people would judge me for that I never I just needed space from it and I've had a year away from it and now I'm ready to like talk about it and for the first time last night because all their phones are tucked away

in these little cases and things like that, I felt comfortable. Like I went on stage and was, I wrote an entire new 10 minutes last night. I like sat down and wrote all these jokes and it's hard to memorize all of them, but they really hit. There's some really special stuff going on

and I'm really excited about my next special because I have been talking to my boyfriend about it and we're like talking about what I want to do like we're watching Bo Burnham a lot the other day and we were just talking about like this is because he's never seen Bo Burnham it was one of those things where he was like oh this kid's annoying and like wrote him off and I was like you just trust me you've got to get into it and he was blown away and really inspired and was like Nikki this is what you need to do with the guitar like this is you you like and that's the way I felt and was like Nikki this is what you need to do with the guitar like this is you you like and that's the way I felt I was like I want to I need to like start saying

more and being like as honest as Bo is and I have been doing that I think but there's a new story I want to tell and um he told me which is a great way to look at anything creatively you're going through it's like every joke you write everything you do should answer the question what's the story you're trying to tell like what is what what are you trying to tell me what's the story you're trying to tell like he said that he worked on a production like anytime he works with this production company done and dusted they do these big events like the emmys grammys and like i heart radio awards and they're you know the main guy david jammy always asks does this what story are we trying to tell that's what they always start with and i love that like even an award show has

a story to tell and you know this is getting into like andrew of you being like but sometimes i just like to make a silly joke that doesn't mean any doesn't have a fucking overarching meaning but that's a story to tell it's like silliness is important like that could be the story so i'm just excited and um i'm also excited we're going to new orleans um and i want to just do a couple fun facts about new orleans uh and also andrew obviously lived there yeah i lived there all right but before andrew says one i have an interesting one did you know that bourbon street is not named after the alcohol i know what's named after the chicken what uh no it's named after a

royal family is bourbon the drink named after the royal family too then like are they both i did not look up that fact all right okay bourbon street that is new orleans for me has been tough because i don't drink any i wish i would have gone to New Orleans when I drank I mean it's such a great city um I hope that we maybe let's play stay an extra day there or something to like I want to just have you take me around Andrew like where would you take me in New Orleans as someone who like is has been on Bourbon Street has kind of done like I don't like beignets I don't like fried food I don't like drinking I love like music. Where would you take me? I have the perfect thing. It's my second fun fact. Yes.

New Orleans features many above ground tombs. I love those. Yes. Many. I mean literally thousands. They can't put them underground because of the water level. They'll just be floating down there. I love going through cemeteries.

An interesting fact about New Orleans is you could live, everyone lives pretty much next to a cemetery where everyone's above ground. It's just like, and it becomes in a way where it's like, oh yeah, all those people are just floating, just above, I don't know,

it's wild how normalized it how like normalized it people like in new orleans like people are you've lived in st louis now you lived in florida you've lived in new york like what's the vibe in new orleans what are the people well here's the thing when you go to college it's you are like um excluded from kind of the culture or the people from there you know you kind of stick to your own that being said you know there's a shirt or a phrase that's very popular in new orleans called third world and proud of it and i guess the idea is like loud conversation saying the wrong things dark humor um obviously you know throwing up on your own genitals but like really just- So they've seen some shit and they're okay with like, so that show can be dirtier.

Oh my God. It's not going to be touchy. It's not going to be like groans. These people can fucking get it. Almost to the point where it'd be hard to shock them. You know what I mean? Oh, that's going to be a challenge. Come to our New Orleans show and watch us try to like get you to clutch your

pearls or your you know beads that you got for showing your tits and i feel like with new orleans too it's like just one of those cities where whatever you know when i did drink but you sit at a bar and you you feel very like very quickly comfortable talking to the person next to you that you've never met and you might hear a story that you that most people would probably not tell anyone but it's like the story they lead with and i think that's kind of where i've gotten that kind of attitude from uh i remember going from new orleans to then living in like hermosa beach california like straight from there and i i was not ready for that like for people putting on airs and being more uptight.

So I would lean into getting fucked up in Hermosa to the point where I couldn't walk to prove that I was... That was a mental illness too. But to prove how New Orleans I was and you guys don't get it, I have some libations. I love it. Yeah. I really want to... I love it. Yeah, so. I want to, I really want to, I love this. This is actually so helpful because I feel like when I go to cities, I don't try to like know anything because I'm just like,

I get scared of getting it wrong or being like, I hate being an outsider, I hate being a tourist that like doesn't know. So I don't even attempt to know because what I, it's like not asking Noah how to pronounce her name because it's like, I'm so ashamed that I don't know it, that I don't even ask. You know what I would do with you? But I'm glad to like get into this. I would take you to like this place called Tipitina's, which is just a small music venue where like I don't know if you've ever seen a band called The Meters.

It's like this brass band. It's like 15 guys all on the stage at the same. The energy is just I saw you're going to say I saw P-Funk funk there uh you know in the funkadelics is it p funk yeah um anyhow oh wait oh yeah i'm yes i know who that is i think wait i don't know he has long dreads like colorful dreads he was in pcu the movie anyhow but like i think live music for you in new orleans that would be something that you would absolutely love and the energy of it. Okay, that was awesome. Maybe we'll talk a little bit more about those cities, but every show, I think we

want to cover a couple cities that we're coming to just so we can learn about them and get the people that are from there excited about it. And if you have any fun New Orleans or Austin facts to share with us, please send them in and we might feature them on the show. Okay, let's get to the news. You heard it here first to the news you heard it here first yeah you heard it here first oh boy it's wednesday folks you know what that means it is wednesday it's hump day baby we're in the middle there it's only gonna

go up from there or is it gonna decline no one knows really but having all the swells out there and uh back to you noah all right sandra Bullock swears by this $7 drugstore product for youthful skin at 57. Can you guys guess what it is? Swears by this product. I'm guessing. Neutrogena cleaner. Cleanser.

I'm going to guess coconut oil. Okay. Well, you're both wrong. It is Preparation H. Hell yeah. okay well uh you're both wrong it is preparation h hell yeah she said that while starring as gracie hart in miss congeniality she took away a beauty hack and said i didn't realize that putting hemorrhoid ointment on your face is acceptable in the beauty business but apparently butt cream does help lines around the eyes okay Okay, I guess it plumps them up. I've heard of this before for just puffiness. Does it de-plump or plump more?

I love... It constricts blood vessels, which can reduce puffiness. Okay, sorry. That's what I meant. I don't know why. I was thinking like filler. Usually, when lines go away, it's plumping something. I think you were thinking about two hemorrhoids under your eyes. Well, I was I was thinking like like filler like like usually when lines go away it's I think you were thinking about two hemorrhoids under your eyes well I was also yeah I've got a tail coming

out of my fucking cornea um no I guess I think of like I love these little because from yesterday I was on set I did beat Bobby Flay and I, my makeup artist goes like, Oh, you have beautiful skin. I've been hearing that a lot recently. And I, you know, it's Spirulactinone is the a hundred milligrams I take every day that cleared up my acne.

But honestly, I wash my face with like any old face wash. It's, I don't really have a brand. And then fucking that stupid serum from the ordinary plant squalane, a hundred percent plant squal squalling seven dollars for a thing it's i swear by it you guys like it's just that's all i need and it's so simple and i've bought things that are hundreds of dollars and i think it just can be so much more simple than

people think and yes i i and the filler i had underneath my eyes was one of the best like, you know, invasive kind of things that I've done. And I've done a lot of them that and em sculpt on my butt gave me a butt and it hasn't gone away. And maybe also like eating properly and gaining weight has given me a butt, but em sculpt on my butt. And then the filler underneath my eyes really helped with like just the hollow eyes. And the thing is, I'm still lovable with or without it. But there are when it comes to skincare, you don't need to go crazy. And I would die for any bestie to call in with like, here is or here's my like cheap thing that I swear by.

Like, do you guys know what do you have anything in your arsenal that's like just, you'll always use the rest of your life in terms of hair care, skin care? One thing that I learned is that, what does she say? Eyebrows are the window to your face or something. So like if you have good arch in your eyebrows, it's like an instant facelift.

Love that. I learned a new trick that i want to share that i i rarely find a new trick when you're using a an eye pencil uh in this men listening maybe share this with women in your life or if you're a guy who wears guyliner um when you're using a pencil sometimes it's like it it kind of like doesn't go well like it's a little too cold and it's kind of gets like it doesn't like smoothly go on because it's like a pencil i saw my makeup artist one time just do a lighter and hold it over the lighter flame a little bit to warm it up and then it goes on smoothly like it's almost liquid eyeliner and i thought that was like such a cool trick but i did it the other day and i burnt

my eyes so be careful it doesn't take a lot Just a couple swipes and then test it on your hand like it's baby formula. OK, next story. Social media withdrawal symptoms differ in older and younger people. One study found that older participants reported greater psychological distress upon removing their mobile devices, while younger people reported feeling better, less anxious, and less depressed. The theory is older people may have more stressful lives and need an escape, so they use their phones like a sedative.

In contrast, younger people may be seeking excitement, so they use their mobile device as a stimulant. Interesting, because you would think that people whose brains have been formed with mobile devices would be more dependent on it but i do find that there was i forget i was around a bunch of youths once i'm not going to get into details because uh that's my own personal business but i remember being around youths and like having them say like like even a meal I remember telling me like he goes yeah sometimes I just go to the coffee shop and I leave my phone at home which to me I would

never do I just I I might put my phone in my bag for a little bit or put it face down when I'm having lunch with my friends so I'm not triggered by like it lighting up but leaving it at home I would not be able to do that and I think think that sometimes, yeah, maybe your life gets so stressful, it's harder to manage these, because what your phone is, is exactly what we're talking about. It is a way to numb out so that you're not feeling your feelings because you're having anxiety. And so you go to your phone to like not think because it's too painful. You're avoiding pain.

And I think when you get older you get weaker to to make good decisions for yourself you just have less options because you're fucking tired you're more in pain because you're fucking weighed down by life and it's just the easiest thing to to not give up also i mean i guess thoughts on that andrew yeah i think like social media i guess you could replace that with like an actual drug, right? So when you're young and you're feeling anxious, you might fucking throw in some cocaine in your nose to fucking wild out, to forget about everything and to just live in the moment and be present. When you're fucking 65, the idea of cutting up cocaine is just like, I don't know.

I mean, I think you'll die. Yeah, you have less options to numb out. cocaine is just like i don't know i mean i think you'll die but like the idea of like options like you want to numb out you want to numb out but you don't want to you don't need you don't want it to be harmful yeah yeah least harm and i guess more younger you are you're more apt to do things that are will numb you out way more than your phone that you don't know yet are like oh yeah that's true too yeah yeah that's true too and also I think that's your point is like young people are like, Oh, I'll just do cocaine or I'll do.

Oh no, no, no. I just meant they're using their phone at like Noah said, as like a stimulant. So like the idea of being like, Oh, they would rather have not rather do cocaine,

but like their phone is cocaine to them. It's like, Oh, I want to see something fucking wild on my phone. Meanwhile, an older person, same thing. One Xanax,

you know what I mean? Like an older person wants Xanax. You know what I mean? She's saying older people get more anxious when they're away from their phones. That was the study. You have psychological distress. No, but my point is that they use social media as a sedative and younger people use it as a stimulant.

That's what she said. Okay, gotcha. Oh, that makes sense. You don't see an old person taking speed usually because then they'll just crash your wheelchair into yes you do really we had a president on oh yeah we have yeah it's like caffeine we're all on speed in some way like add meds that people abuse just took 10 of them yeah i mean it's like speed is rampant things that uppers i hate downers like i i definitely always loved alcohol which is a downer but um uppers i i don't have addictive behavior stores like i did cocaine i was like i love this but it wasn't like i want

to do it more like i'm just like okay that was good and i need to like stay it's i don't have the downers i get addicted to uppers uh but but yeah we're all trying to mitigate it up and down up and down um let's take a quick break actually right now and we'll come back and do more headlines 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year it's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities i'm joel oh and i am matt and we're the hosts of how to money's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially.

Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people Or wherever you get your podcasts. podcast, Mini Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless

answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour.

He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail.

It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery, a story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the My Gulura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

All right, we're back. Noah, what's the next headline? All right. A relationship expert has revealed the three real reasons that couples are triggered to argue. The first underlying dynamic is about power and control, which may sound like you need to unload the dishwasher my way because that's the right way. The second person responding badly to that because they feel like they're being bossed around and they're losing a sense of control. Exactly. Okay.

The second underlying cause for arguing is respect and recognition. For example, you always make plans without even asking me first yes or do you even realize how much i'm doing around the house very common right like i i need to be i need to be men as we know noah need masculine energy whether that you're the female or male or whatever in the relationship if you're the masculine energy you need to be respected by the person to feel loved and I think a lot of women fuck that I realized that was the problem in my relationship was that I didn't I didn't respect my partner the way that he I thought I did but I

didn't and now I have I made the things I made the right choices for myself to find the ways that I have the most deep respect for this man that I never had before and it's as soon as I was able to tap into that and it's real and it's like fucking like I've never felt before the kind of respect that I have for my boyfriend. As soon as I tapped into that, everything that he was that he often would feel triggered by or feel like insecure about completely went away. It made him feel so safe because men need to be respected and women need to be, you know, cherished. And it allowed him to cherish me when I respected him. But respect is huge. What's the third?

The third one is being caring and closeness. And it may sound like, why am I the only one to text? Like to initiate, like that happens a lot. Yeah, like why am I the only one to text? Why am I initiating this? And the fourth is Ikea. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, like i mean all of this every argument

that i get into uh in my relationship or in past relationships has always come from a place for me of fear of abandonment fear that he's gonna leave me so i leave him first. Fear that anger that I am having to not be myself because this person can't handle it, which really is about me not feeling like I'm good enough for this person because I should be able to be myself. And it it has led to resentment of like, God, I have to act like I'm OK right now because this guy will be mad at me if I'm not OK. And then I get mad at him. But really, it's on me I get mad at him, but really it's on me. I shouldn't be with someone that can't handle me. What am I doing?

So it's always coming from a place of insecurity and me and feeling unlovable. And the only reason I'm able to have a good relationship right now, 100% is because I love myself. I just know it. And it doesn't mean that if you don't love yourself, you can't be in a relationship,

but to be in a really healthy one, I do believe that you have to respect yourself enough to love someone else. I wasn't capable of it before, and I didn't even know I wasn't. And I was doing my best, and I'm glad that it took me this long. But the other day, I was watching the reality show with Chris did I share this anecdote no and I was watching the first episode and he was watching it through his fucking fingers because he doesn't want to see himself he's like embarrassed of like he just doesn't he's like me but I told him you're so good on this you're so adorable we are so cute I'm like rooting for us like I'm watching a Nora Ephron film. Like we are so

fucking cute. And for whatever reason, I've watched the pilot now three times. It was the third viewing with him and I was watching it and I was like, I saw how much he loved me in it. Like I really saw it. And I was like, that guy loves that girl so much. I kind of stopped seeing myself. And I was also like that girl, she's a fucking lot. Like what a fucking guy this guy is. Like I always used to think I was such a fucking prize and like, why don't guys get it? And the thing is I am obviously, but there's nothing wrong with me, but I am a lot. It takes a very special, highly like, um, tolerant and like gent, like forgiving and like secure man to be with someone who is so opinionated, loud, talky, like as me, it just, it doesn't mean that like

anyone who can't put up with me isn't special, but it takes a very unique person. And I was just so I just turned to him and I go thank you so much for loving that girl she is so difficult and like she's adorable and I love her so much and she is doing the best she can but that is a lot for someone to handle and you are such a good man for loving her like she needs that love and you were like I just love you so much for loving her. Like she needs that love. And you were like, I just love you so much for loving her. And like, thank you. Because that's a lot. Like suddenly I saw like what he puts up with instead of me being like, you're welcome. I was like, and of course, like, I'm amazing. And I we laugh together. And I'm a very forgiving and affectionate person. I'm sexy. I'm all these things that are great. But I'm also a fucking handful. And I respect him so

much for being such a man and putting up with such a sassy, brassy woman that I don't think a lot of men could put up with. And I know a lot of men couldn't put up with. And I just loved him so much for it. And I think it's a really great way to find affection for your partner is to just acknowledge that you're a tough cookie and that someone chose to be with you and how cool that is and chose to love you and stand by you with all of your flaws. And I just fucking loved him so... I just love cutting to Chris

smacking a random guy in the face because he has to put up with you. He's just smacking a guy at freaking whole foods he just packed his food wrong oh my god it's like hey dude it's not me just watch the show just watch what the that reminds me dude that like no i don't know about you but when i saw jada pinkett smith not like get up and go like will stop like i was so embarrassed for her and I thought like I in that moment if I were her I would have been mortified that my husband boyfriend did that I I think I wouldn't have been like I know I think she did and I just I didn't relate to that at all and um I don't know

Noah would you like if someone you know insulted something about you would you like Avi to like stand up for you and in that kind up for you in that kind of way? In what kind of way would you have liked? Do you get horny for him standing up for you or defending you, protecting you? I think it depends in what way. But if we were in a similar situation, like in a parking lot, and if he reacted that way, it would only escalate it and i would be completely turned off by that because it would be actually putting you more in harm's way yeah exactly and it's like by escalating to like uh i don't know like a i don't know too like barbaric for me like

i i kind of the other day when i was on stern i was looking at the clip they posted and i i didn't see the comments because I just knew that it was going to be upsetting to me because I was a girl with an opinion and that does not met well by men. They're very positive. A lot of times, oh God,

well, I didn't even look, but there were 800 comments and I was like, and I was so tired that day. I was just, it was very concise and like right straight to the point.

It was, it was great. I'm glad. I really was kind of like embarrassed of that and didn't repost it because I was it was good i'm glad i i really was kind of like embarrassed of that and didn't repost it because i was like i don't even know what i said i didn't even want to listen to it but i want to say that i i saw 800 comments and it had just been posted and i was like oh shit this is either like very positive or very negative but i just know there's going to be some stuff in there that's really mean because i saw one mean tweet that

was like oh stern this is the decline of stern Like usually they have any comedian to call in. All they can get is Nikki Glazer. And it was like, Oh God, it just made me feel like he's probably ashamed that I even called it or like, it just made me, it was the worst thing to read,

but I didn't mean to read it, you know? And, um, I almost, I sent, I said to Chris, like I'm having a rough day because I saw 800 comments and I just know,

I'm just predicting that so many are just so mean. And I almost wanted him to go read them and go in there and write back to them or fucking just get in there and just write back to these people. The way that I used to do for Amy, Amy used to get trashed on fucking daily mail and i would create fake accounts you know anonymous accounts or as myself and on reddit and i would go you don't know what you're fucking talking about calling her a joke thief is just a way to diminish her she's not a joke thief this is a fucking street joke that she knew was a street joke to set up her other joke you're an idiot you don't know what you're talking about sit this one out non-comedian because you you're at your adult like i used to defend her all the time and it felt so good and I um I love when people

come to my defense but at the same time it doesn't ever work this doesn't get through to people and but there was something that what wanted me to I just want someone to witness what I deal with you know I guess that was it I wanted someone who I love to witness like the hate that I have thrown at me sometimes and like how and just to take that into consideration when I'm having a bad day that like your version of a bad day is your own unique situation that I have to empathize with. But also like just I want you to just see a little bit of what's being hurled at me because he doesn't see it, you know, and like, and I don't see it either. But even just knowing it's there, it's kind of like, Andrew, you like to know, you would like the water to be clear so you could see if, or you want the water to be murky so you don't know if sharks are there, right?

And you want it to be clear. And I want it to be clear. But if you don't read work for this then you would keep it murky yes it's but it's i just go with it must be negative like i just go with there must be a spark under i don't want to yeah it really wasn't though i'm not even gonna get in i didn't read like all of it i you know i just i i really but like everything i saw i mean i honestly didn't see one negative and i wasn't looking for negative because if i did i would have went through like all of them you know it was almost

sick do you want it there's just times where i just know it's negative and i know that you are gonna see it because you're really good at like just like you're good at like you're proud of me and so you look at the stuff like you always come from a place of like oh like you're always so proud of me and i'm like so appreciative of like anytime Oh, like you're always so proud of me. And I'm like, so appreciative of like, anytime I get good news, Andrew is always just like, dude, that's fucking awesome.

Like it's weird to give your friends in the business good news that doesn't involve them sometimes because it can be like, it can be threatening and like, it's hard sometimes. And like, I just want to say, Andrew, I really appreciate how,

what a good friend you are to always celebrate my achievements and like, look out for me. And like, I just want to say, Andrew, I really appreciate how, what a good friend you are to always celebrate my achievements and like, look out for me. And like, and you're just, it comes from such a good loving place. And I just like really appreciate your friendship in that way, because it's, it's not always easy to do even for me when it comes to your achievements. Like I struggle with like, because to me, it will mean he's going to leave me. We're not gonna be friends anymore. Cause he's going to get too big. And get too big and like he's like i so it's it's hard not to go there and i just i think it just takes a really strong person so i like thank you for loving me in that way as a friend i appreciate it and thank you for like i mean it's reciprocated

as you know i've said many times but like you know just like little things like you i don't know how the conversation went with david spade to get me to open for him this saturday but oh yeah but that was you going hey i believe in andrew he lives five minutes away there's no other comedians there that are alive but other than that you know no that's not it dude there's other comedians no no i'm fucking around but like andrew's the best fit to open for david spade and he's he's gonna impress him so much this is gonna lead to opportunities for him that i don't even that had nothing to do with me like i you deserve it and like it's it's something that i i gave to you because you deserve and i felt it was yeah and i felt on your end like

i don't know there's i don't know what switched with you either or like both of us i guess where it's like okay we're we're a team we're we're not we're individuals we want each other to win it's not a fucking competition i've said that to you before like i don't want to be competitive with you and and and you've said before in the past like no yeah yeah i get but like i don know, something like has changed with you that I've noticed that is, I really like appreciate and like. I work on it because it is not my normal instinct to feel like supportive. I don't mean that by, I don't mean by judging like, oh, but look, look at you now. I'm proud of you.

But no, like there is something about you where it just feels. It's a struggle for me. So genuine. I get so jealous of people's accomplishments. And I made this decision, like Taylor Tomlinson's special was such a, like she's so funny and she's so young. I didn't want to watch it.

Yeah. And it's all because I'm threatened by her. It's all because I'm scared she's funnier than me. People are gonna, and people with female comics always go, God, think, and every comment I read about her is always like the one female comic that I like. Like,

it's just, it all feels so personal against me because she's funny. And I just caught myself in this like spiral of like, like not wanting to celebrate her and this amazing special she just put out or how funny this fucking phenom of comedy is because it somehow had something to do with me and i chose even though it was difficult to me to fucking promote it because i was like i'm not promoting this on purpose because i'm threatened by it that is so dumb and so weak and like i'm so proud of her i honestly watching her makes me a better comedian. I'm fucking grateful for her.

And the second that I promoted her and was like, like honestly said what I said, which is like this, you know, she's a beast. She's like the one to look out for and look out for meaning like watch, not like, oh, she's going to take your place. But we're all threatened. Taylor Tomlinson is so good at such a young age. And I had been there before too,

where other female comics did not acknowledge me. And I thought I took it. I never took it as they were threatened by me because I'm so funny. I always took it as they don't like me. And I thought maybe Taylor, because I'm not posting about her and she knows I know, right?

Like she knows that I'm seeing her stuff. Like it turns into like, she might think I don't like her. And that is so not it. It's actually the opposite. I'm such a fan that I like can't deal with it. It's the same way I don't watch Mulaney because I'm just like,

it makes me feel so insecure. So instead I posted about it. The second I posted about her, she writes me a DM. We're DMing back and forth. Just, and I just go I I'm honest with her I go you are so extraordinary you're like I forget what I said but I just spoke from the heart and I didn't tell her all of this she'll probably hear this and like find out but I'm threatened by you Taylor because you're so funny and it's so stupid and when you go into

the fear the thing that you don't want to do when you go into it because you know it's the right thing to do and you know that it will free you on the other side of it is like freedom I love when I see her clips now I like consume everything she has I love there's no part of me that's

like oh god like Taylor again I love about like MMA at the end when they hug each other after they like brutally killed, like tried to kill one another. Yes. I knew. And honestly, Taylor might get things that I am up for.

If Taylor didn't exist, I might work more, to be honest with you. But you don't need to work more, dude. I'm just, let me just say though, I'm not, let's not live in this world where it's like there's a room enough for all of us. There isn't. That women are, there's one woman per show.

There can be only one quirky best friend on a Netflix thing. Yes, we're a decade different in age, but there might be a thing where Taylor gets something that if it wasn't for her, I would get it. And so I could maybe go, yeah, she could literally be a threat to me working. Let's say I do need work, Andrew. Let's say I do need that job or whatever. So let's say I'm sued and I lose all my money and i do that work and taylor takes that job it's still me uplifting her is going to benefit me in the end like i'm not i'm not like taylor is a threat to be getting things because she is so funny she's young she's beautiful she's fucking honest and cool but that doesn't mean that i

should indulge in those like jealous envious beat like feelings because that is just it's coming from a place of hate and i just want to like i don't mean to sound like will smith's acceptance speech but i want to come from a place of love and like it took me it took a lot for me to do the thing that i didn't want to do, which is like, tell people, Hey, watch Taylor. She,

cause I don't, cause I think my fans are going to go, Oh my God, she's so much better than Nikki. Why am I following Nikki? Unfollow, follow Taylor, everything now, Taylor.

It's like, and in that right way, there is room for both of us. And honestly, me watching Taylor and which I was avoiding for so long is been like, Oh my God, I really like what she's doing here. And it makes me think about the way

I'm approaching things differently. It's going to make me a better comic. Dude, she loves talking about mental health. She loves talking about all the things. She's awesome. Yeah, and I had her on my podcast, whatever, a while back. And I was like, her and Nikki would be,

I've talked to you about this before, Mike, but I was like, I know you guys will be friends. I knew you would be friends. off at Mike, but I was like, I know you guys will be friends. I knew you would be friends. Like you have, but I think sometimes you're, you become so, you have so much common shit with like an enemy that like all it takes is one like real healthy conversation.

Why I'm threatened by her is because we're so similar. The same reasons why we would be such good friends is why I want to keep her at a distance and try to like, like, and honestly, I bet Taylor would say, Taylor will be me someday. She'll be 10 years down the road

and there'll be some little phenom that is going to be in her rear view mirror who is getting a lot of attention and they're saying like, finally, this voice, we've been waiting for this and it's going

like it's that song nothing new by taylor swift and phoebe bridgers about um will you still love me when i'm nothing new when i'm not the new girl anymore and i was the new girl for so long i was the young like brat like sassy like kind of cute like tell it like it is girl and I'm not that girl anymore. Taylor's that girl now. And I, I'm just like, I, her success is, has nothing to do with me. And I just, I, she is good for the world. She empowers girls to like, be more honest. And that bitch has gotten to a place of honesty and being able to put it into joke form that is so precise and expert. She's an excellent joke writer. She's a truth teller.

She is young. And I know we have a lot of young listeners that sometimes don't relate to what I'm talking about. If you don't know Taylor Tomlinson, absolutely check her out. If this isn't a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is. And I just want to,

I want to just like celebrate people that threaten me more. She is the new host of FBoy Island 3. I't i just i'm letting you know what the fuck yeah dude it's bad yep yeah that honestly could happen and i i would be like actually that's a good you know you know it's not the best listen i i hope to work with her because like that's what this could lead to instead of me being like... A thousand percent. Final thought. Yes, a thousand percent. You guys need to start listening to Taylor Tomlinson's podcast

and drop out on ours. Now, we got to have her on the show to talk about this because I'm going to write her a DM after this just to warn her that I go into a whole thing. But for me, starting out this episode, admitting I don't know how to say Noah's name, I am actually admitting a lot of things that I never thought I would admit on air. it for me starting out this episode admitting i don't know how to say noah's name like i am actually admitting a lot of things that i never thought i would admit on air you're really in a

healthy spot nikki like thanks man but i but it brought it came up because dude like it used to be hard for me when you would get things whether it be like a girlfriend whether it be a cat like things like that would i got a cat a week ago threaten me no but i mean like in the past if you got a cat i'd be like oh i'm jealous he has this new thing to post about that is like doesn't have to do with me what this cute little thing what uh are you jealous again i don't know mango no mango i mean he is fucking cute he hates me but anyway so cute anyhow but yeah but like it it when i have those instincts and i still do them i'm i'm not fucking perfect i'm sure there's gonna be another taylor tomlinson that i'm gonna like have to like but what is it about like the posting of like me having a cat to post like why would that offend or affect you negatively because it's getting you attention for

like like honestly this is all really embarrassing to admit by the way and i don't think that i'm alone here and admitting that like when people's lives are going well on instagram you kind of resent it because you're in a bad place like you want everyone to be as gloomy as you are so like obviously it has every everything to do with me that that's that's that didn't happen by the way but like let me just say how that could in a way yeah yeah um you getting a cat oh Brenna and Andrew are so happy with their cat like he's he's so he's just happy he looks happy everyone's happy for him they're saying how cute the cat is everyone loves him he's getting so many likes no one likes

me uh he's gonna get so many likes that now he's gonna realize like this post has nothing to do with nikki so do i really need to be friends with nikki anymore like it's not really helping like i i can that's the way women women are fucking weak that's the way my brain thinks i go so far and it's such a fucking narcissist like it has nothing I do shit like that I do shit like that but yeah I take it personally and I'm just starting to realize like I if you just come up from a place of like what do I what's the story I want to tell honestly let's come back to this what's the story I want to tell I want everyone in the world to feel love and happiness and joy like that's all I want for anyone.

And I want myself to feel that way. And anytime I want someone to not feel joy, it's because I don't feel joy and I want it to match mine. So like, but when it comes down to it, like those feelings of jealousy I have are all myself and I'm not a bad person for feeling them. That's why I'm talking about it, honestly,

because I don't think that's something to be ashamed of to feel this way and to feel threatened by people it's i can't help it but i but it's nice to share it and to be honest about it because i have those feelings it just frees me when i see you with like you know whatever like big comedians or like you know you're you've traveled way more than i i've just been in st louis pretty much just playing golf while you've done 15 different shows and stuff like that sometimes i go oh she's just gonna forget about me you know what i mean like i have those thoughts you know i have those thoughts but you've proven time and time over again to me that you have my back and that i am have value to you and no matter who you meet or like being on howard or all that shit which is whatever

like you've proven that like oh no i'm not gonna but i still have those doubts all the time you know i have that brain that goes through that like oh look at her there oh yeah oh she's just gonna move to la and i'm gonna somehow live in st louis and have to eat dinner with her parents without her like you know i have these kind of thoughts you know that you're not crazy to think that like those kind of you know like so I um yeah I guess that's true and like that's very possible all those things so I just want to like validate that that might have no I I you know what it comes down to is like trusting that like our friendship is about is not transactional. And I think that's what's gotten in the way for me sometimes is that I feel like, oh, if Andrew wasn't on the road for me with me and I wasn't, he wasn't on my podcast and all these things.

Like, would he be friends with me? And I think I've just come to the place where I like trust that you would. And like, it's not about the things you get. Those are great things that i'm able to like give you and and of course that's like it's awesome for for you and for me but like it just gets i think sometimes when you have your friends on payroll yeah or like you are wrapped up in like work stuff you start to question if you are really loved for who you are or for the opportunities you're

providing or because you're like famous or whatever. And I think those were some insecurities of mine for a bit. And I just, instead of being like, I know he loves me as a friend, I just, whatever it is, it is. And I'll find out when it happens. And if you, if you do end up like, let's say you do end up like only, as soon as something, a better opportunity comes along, we never talk again, right? Then that's okay.

Like then I'll deal with it. It's like, I just have to let go. And the truth is, as soon as I let go, I realized like, oh, you did like, there's just no question that you love me as a friend. Like there's just no question. And the flip side to that is, you know, I constantly feel like is you know i constantly feel like you know uh do am i talented to deserve these transactions because i'm getting it from a

friend does that make sense like am i yes am i worthy of this or am i only getting it because of friendship and i have to constantly question of like how talented really am i uh without the friend take the friendship out of it if you're just going off my joke writing ability or whatever like that you know like uh would would i still be you know in the running and would and do i you know what i mean so then you know like am i only keeping you around for your friendship and it's not about your talent? Yeah. Yes.

Well, I think that it's important to know that like, and it could be both bottom line. It can be, it is both. But really, if I thought that you weren't talented, I would just pay.

Like I just, I wouldn't, I wouldn't put you on my show. Like I would, I would be honest, like, I just, I wouldn't, I wouldn't put you on my show. Like I would, I would be honest with you and give, and I have given you constructive criticism of like, when you do this dude, it is what you're real.

Like from my perspective, I think this is going to take you to the next level. This not so much. And like, so I, I, I am aware of how talented you in like, yeah,

I, I, I get that too. I, that's so interesting because we both are insecure about like, you're insecure that all I care about is your friendship and I'm insecure that all you care about is me using your talent. And it's so funny because I keep you around as my friend because you're so talented and because you inspire me and you are the sum of your five closest friends. i want 20 of my being to be what andrew collins got going on same and that's the truth of the matter yeah no it's awesome and you not so much uh avi or oh no uh noah it's you too like you're someone i spend so much time with on this podcast and you are one of my five closest friends as well and like yeah i want i want what you I would love to be 20% Noah,

20% Andrew. Um, and, and even though that's mostly sauce, we gotta go. I gotta go run to a meeting. I love you both so much. What a great episode.

Um, I'll be back in St. Louis tomorrow. We'll be face to face and, uh, love you besties. Hope you enjoyed the episode. Don't be cut and Jackalope.

Quick, Jack, be slow too. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got,

and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season.

But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson.

Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships and engage in thought provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom

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