The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #197 Getting Into Deep Water

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

Nikki and Andrew look at an old photo of the Cheers cast and are shocked by what people in their thirty's used to look like. Nikki wishes celebs would be more open about work they get done. Andrew talks about getting stretched and Nikki thinks her day can be spiced up with an accent. You Heard It Here First, we are closing the wage gap, a local restaurant stands up to a bully, pets can help you get into a relationship and Nikki does care about nude scenes but probably shouldn't. In the Top1 Bottom1 they talk about the movie Deep Water and deconstruct it into the Final Thought.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night.

It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme.

Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter,

and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now,

Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Here I am. Hello. Welcome to the show. It's Nikki Glaser Podcast. It's Monday. Is it? I know. I have to be honest with everyone. We're taping this on Friday, which is April 1st, April Fool's Day. So are you telling the truth?

I am, actually. It is Friday here. But it is Monday to you. And just, you know, I appreciate all the listeners. I wanted this to be a very, like, current show of, like, oh, they taped it that day. There's going to be some times where you just can't do that. Doesn't mean that the show is going to lack anything else. In fact, doing it later in the day, it's 4 p.m. here,

we usually do the show around, we say 11 o'clock, and then it gets pushed to about 11.45, 12.15. It's just a different vibe. My face, I feel like you should go check this video out. I think my face is less puffy. I give myself that because when I see sometimes the stills of our video on our channel, which I'm subscribed to and they always pop up. Sometimes I'm just like, it's a harsh. It's almost like when you accidentally see yourself in your camera and you just go, oh i don't want to see that and there's sometimes where i'm like oh my face is doing things that are it's hard to you know understand to deal with because

i've i've ate i'm aging and um and but i always help myself by going like you used to look like that like that was a couple days ago or i say it was in the morning and you were puffier um also i will say the other day when i was in new york city i was running into so many people i haven't seen in two years and it's so interesting to see two years of age on people's faces yeah it's just this slight difference where i used to see these people every single day and then and i for some of them i was like oh my god like i like i'm not gonna say it their face, to their old saggy face. But, like, they've definitely aged. And then I was just like, wow, God, people are aging.

And then I was like, oh, my God, they're probably thinking the same thing about me because they haven't seen me in two years, you know? I got a lot of texts. Yeah, from people. Like, COVID's tough and St. Louis food must be good. That's what people said. I don't know if it's about you. It was just random. Right.

Just out of nowhere. Yeah. It might've been like a Steve, the door guy at the comedy cellar. How does he even have your number? He wouldn't. No, there are some people though that I have to say looked better.

And I do think that I look better as I age. Like I just, so, you know, I told you the story of Francis Ford Coppola being like, how did you get so beautiful? And I said, confidence. And he said, no, I think it's genetics, but I do feel that the more confident I just, you know, I told you the story of Francis Ford Coppola being like, how did you get so beautiful? And I said confidence. And he said, no, I think it's genetics.

But I do feel that the more confident I get, just being comfortable in your own skin just makes you attractive. It kind of, you know, it tricks people into thinking you're better looking than you are because you're just exuding happiness. But I do, I will get a facelift at some point a hundred percent like i i look at my dad's face i have a dad bod and i have like my dad's face and my dad like our glazers faces just kind of like get a little craggy my dad looks like really cool on him and i'm not just saying that like i think it just my dad is always like god i look weathered whenever he sees a picture of himself and i'm like yeah you look like an old native american like the guys used to worship that we have pictures around in our house like you look like you've just turned into one of those cool fossils he has yeah but like cool like in

hot like he looks like he could light a match on his face without even facial hair yes that's how it's not leathery but it's like my grandma and my um aunt had the same skin and i think it's also sun he's he's he loves the sun and he doesn't moisturize you know he never has and also cigarettes for years and years and you know there was this picture i posted did you see my instagram story the other day no what was it um it was it was yesterday but it was no it was of the cheers cast oh and what their ages are their ages how fucking crazy was that shocking shocking so um just so if you missed it i just want to like go through this is the cheers cast like when they were like you know when the show was at its utmost popularity so whatever you're picturing of the cheers cast that is these are these ages let me just tell you i'll just i know

but i want to see their faces no you can just picture them ted danson and cheer yeah pull up their faces that's what i'm yeah that's a good point ted danson was 35 he definitely looks in this picture 47 wait is it on your thing it's on my story right now okay i'll put it up right there on the screen 33 yeah it's on the screen so if you want to go watch our youtube you don't have to go scramble to find it um shelly long was 33 i can't picture her uh george went 34 and he is so freaking it's at the very bottom it's at the very top of my story okay got you okay george went is like the dude that dude's 58 58 is the old old man the old man that i don't know his name on the show and then rita perlman who looks 34 34 dude 34 you guys go you have to check out this photo because it's just trippy and and it said underneath it like what happened to them and i go smoking inside their whole lives yeah smoking

inside smoking every day um sun like no sun protection, not drinking enough water, all of these things. I woke up in the middle of the night last night after seeing this, or not after this, but after a bunch of other things, and just drank so much water. Actually, I saw Kendall Jenner getting ready for the Oscar party, and she was like, I don't know, on just days like this, I just love to hydrate. I just drink tons of water, and I'm just like, I haven't had water today. And then I got out of bed at like four in the morning i've i it would be funny to see this show but it's just based in a uh like a smoothie bar you know what i mean same exact show jump like a jampa juice in everybody knows your name and they'll look so young and vibrant they'd all be wearing lululemon i'm telling I mean, part of it's the hair. Women with their hair was different.

Like even girls in the 80s in high school, when they had the puffy hair, the makeup was a little different. I looked older than I look now. And I'm not joking you. When I was a senior in high school, in some pictures, I look so much older and I don't know what it is.

But I think it does have something to do with injections in your face and and the beauty and you could see your skeleton so much yes you could oh my god every skeleton it looks old oh my god i like my old joke of like your skeletons horizontal stripes and so it makes you look fat yeah i love it um so wait Wait, why do you think? Well, I've heard that men have less testosterone now, so then that might be another reason why they look younger these days. Because testosterone ages you? I think it makes you more manly.

More stressed. Yeah. It is interesting. I feel, I just know, and I hate to say this, but I just know that I'm going to get a facelift someday. That's okay. At what age? What are we talking? talking and i'll be very i'll tell everyone about it because i will have to be like i'm going away for a little bit um i would say probably around 40 41 i'm about to turn 38 like i just a little thing here and there i just modern can you get like a mild lift now

yeah there's tons of mild ways of doing things. My mom got a facelift, and it was pretty. I just wish people were more open about this stuff, because they aren't. I just don't really know that much about it, and I'm someone who actually looks into it, and it's all very secretive, and people don't say what they've had,

and I would just like to be like, oh, that's like, I was looking at Kendall Jenner getting ready for the Oscars on this fucking Vogue thing that just came out on YouTube. And I know she's had, I know she's had literal surgery done on her face at this point. Like, it's just, I don't know that,

but I would bet a lot of money on it. And I'm looking for scars or like, I just, I wish people could tell you what they did. I love that Amy said she had liposuction. Schumer came out and said that because it's just, it's just nice to know that, you know, it's just nice to know. And I like how she said, you know, I never thought I would get this. And there's a part of me that feels like there was a part of her that was a little bit like ashamed to do it, but she still told people about it because she easily could have kept that secret and no one would have ever known.

And I think that's what most people do and they just lie to you guys. They lie and they say they've never had work done. Don't ever trust. It's safer when celebrities talk about it. Like I had a friend who got liposuction, I don't know, like 10 years ago and she had to go to South America to do it.

No, don't do that. Yeah. Yeah. I want to get, I'd to do it. No, don't do that. Yeah. Yeah. I want to get, I'd be interested in lipo, but like I've said, I just, watching E!

like in the, I guess early 2000s. I don't know. They're used to just show surgeries. Yeah. And the surgeons are just so rough and cavalier with your body and your skin.

And the way they do that, you guys know what I'm talking about, that little rod there. Yeah, it's so aggressive. Almost like, I've seen, you, you guys know what I'm talking about, that little rod. I've seen guys at Jiffy Lube put a little rod inside my to test my oil with more delicateness. Or get a little hole in your tire to fix it. Delicateness isn't a word. I just feel like

they need to look at your body like it's just a fucking thing. It's secretive yet it's written, no pun intended, but it's written all over your face. It's an interesting thing. And so it is interesting. It's secretive yet. And they're playing God. It's written. I'm no pun intended, but it's written all over your face. Like it's an interesting thing to be so secretive about while being so you can't hide it. It's so open.

You can though, because these girls get just little things that they go, Oh, I've been drinking more water. It's so subtle. Why do you think everyone does it? I think it's more subtle. The younger you are when you get it and the filters help. you start filtering your face and then by the time you get the surgery

scars end you have the face that was a filter so you get people used to it oh sorry noah what was your question yeah why do you think they like to keep it a secret because it's embarrassing that you're that vain i mean that's we it's because it's good you know you're trying to look good without being without admitting that you're you actually care you know like everyone needs to act like they're not trying and the truth is what's more trying than putting yourself under anesthesia risking spending you know thirty thousand yeah a hundred thousand dollars it's embarrassing for people to be like I care this much what people think about my face um it's it's interesting because they shouldn't and and i i that's why i just want to live a life

of honesty because it isn't once you admit things that are really embarrassing that you think that people can't handle or that will ruin you i just have never found it to be i've never told the truth about something and had and regretted it yeah ever I feel like in today's world though that you know because Botox is so like you literally get it at a gas station you know you get pump 89 and Botox is much more like people can say my point though is that it's like it's the training wheels to for people to feel more comfortable about being like yeah I've had a few things done so maybe in 10 years i'll be like yeah i got a facelift when i was 14 i think it used to be very like embarrassing to admit you dyed your hair i think that used to be now oh yeah

yeah i think women used to like hide that and be like no i don't color my hair and it's like it's like grandma your hair is purple like yeah and i was like did you dye purple she's like that's natural and i was like i don't know what you're actually you're that tricked me yeah felma you wild cat so you're right maybe maybe times are changing and it's just like it's gonna take longer but well it's interesting with women that you have to like the one thing you can't talk about your facelift but everything else with men i was at dinner the other night with my older brother two of his associates and a woman associate and it's kind of cool to see a woman in finance like like that like kind of manly it kind of reminds me of like a like you being a female comedian or like female comedian and she was

unbelievable like whatever not just for a woman just like the like the coolest out of all of my thought like she was so funny single um i don't know i have no idea but she was talking about how she's anti-anti-aging even though she was so pro she's anti so she's aging so she's aging age how old is she she's probably i'm guessing mid 40s okay wow but now she's back on anti-age but my point being is that we i go oh yeah i was like and then we got to talking about the different kind of face the facials i've gotten like the hydroplane and the guys were like what you do what and i was talking about like the different skincare stuff and like they're still like guys can't even say like i put on moisturizer like we're still even there we're like yeah you

did a three-step process like what are you doing way You guys have a long way to go. Oh my God, such a long way to go. But I mean, what is this, the pussification of men? You're so scared of being gay. Yeah. You're scared of being women. Or taking care of yourself. Or they just don't know. Avi had no idea what a toner was until I was like,

no, here you go. You put this on before moisturizer. Avi is not scared of being feminine or whatever, but the fact that he doesn't know is from society's the overarching feeling of not wanting men to be masculine. And so he doesn't know

because his friends don't do it. And you know what I'm saying? He put Old Spice on it. It might not be him. When it comes to shaving his head, he knows all like the secrets, you know, like him and his friends have their little tricks.

Oh my God. The way that men talk about their hairlines and study other men's hairlines. And like, it's, it is some of the gayest things I've ever heard in my life. Like they are. And I'm saying that obviously as with,

with humor, because that's word. So it's just so ironic to use that word at this point because it's so stupid, but like, um, no, it's like, it with humor, because that's word so, it's just so ironic to use that word at this point because it's so stupid. But like, no, it's like, it's very, I feel like I, when I'm here, guys talk, you know, cis straight men talking about hairlines. They sound more like wimp, chatty little women, like the view than, you know, than any of my girlfriends.

It's wild. And they don't even know that they're doing it. But it becomes your obsession. And then you don't want anyone... You know what, though? I'll give it to that Dave Portnoy guy, the guy from Barstool. Don't give him anything.

But I'll just give... He gave himself hair plugs. And he's very honest. Open about it? Okay. Very open about his hair plugs. Yeah. It was so funny.

One of the guys gave him a noogie, like right on the plugs. There was no way that he was going to get away with having those otherwise. He had to come out about it. That's true. So if you've been seen with him, even though McConaughey still, for some reason, can play the fifth. Play the fifth? Plead the fifth.

Play the fifth. You play too much golf. Play the fifth. Yeah. I think that it's... But anyways, yes hair with men because there is a lot of women that will not date or marry a bald guy like it's just like it's like you're five nine and bald you're cut off unless somehow like i've given up and then i'll it's a

totally different look there's just something about it that means you're not as virile or something like tells us biologically like there's something you're aging essentially and maybe not that don't have as much sperm that can get us pregnant.

There's something about it that makes us unattracted to you that isn't that it's you know inherently an ugly look. Well if you look at a lion a lion, a male lion tons of hair

like so many. I feel the same way about women like you guys like a lot of like luscious locks like long hair whenever girls cut their hair short guys are always like it looks good but they would prefer it long yeah it's just true well it comes back to the alopecia thing i loved your point about like why is it okay it's not okay to joke about alopecia but it's okay to joke about men being bald all day long pattern about and one is a disease and one is male pattern

baldness it's still a thing that they don't choose much like a disease it's a disease yeah your hair falling out i don't think it i don't think it counts as a disease i don't know what's a disease if your fingernails are falling out that's your daddy's a doctor i'll ask my dad he's bald it's not a disease it looks like one no i'm saying that as a guy that wears hats a lot but no but my well i guess i looked into that i go well why isn't it not why are we making this word up for baldness for women because all their hair can fall out like your eyebrows yeah that's where it's a disease yeah but that's where the disease i will say well this the thing this is very interesting because the, I guess it was a couple of nights ago.

My boyfriend was telling me about a situation he was in, in which he like, he was like, man, I usually handle it this way. And this time I did like, I just went in a more emotional, like it was a more just like thoughtful, like turn the other cheek kind of like empathetic, instead of aggressive approach to a conflict that he handled. And he said, it's really hard for me, I just feel so ridiculous. Not just lashing out the way that I would normally want to, you know, and he was like, I go, it's gonna get more comfortable. And he was like, it just, it helps to hear you say that it's like attractive to you. Because I'm like, it's so attractive to me that you're being more emotional and like leading with your feelings and other people's feelings instead of just like anger and aggression. And like if I were Jada Pickett Smith, I would have been fucking horrified at what Will Smith did. I would have been like shrieking like, no, please stop.

Like I'd be that, I would be so embarrassed. But I said to him, I go, one way you can look at it, like I think why it's so masculine to me for him to do this is because it's so hard for him. And like doing something that's difficult is masculine. And so actually being emotional is really masculine because it's the more difficult thing. Like, I'm more impressed by that than, like, him riding 1,000 miles on a bike trail or climbing some 18 thing. Like, instead of fighting a lion, you know, bringing coffee in the morning.

He's doing this thing that's deeply uncomfortable for him against everything he wants to do because he knows it's the right thing to do. Like, what's sexier or more masculine than that? I mean i'm i'm so horny for it it's hard though there's a hard line there of like trying to meet aggression with turning the other cheek like dalai lama style when it's like in your face like it's so difficult i read i was listening to more stoic stuff today and they said exactly what stoics are if someone is like talking shit in your face and calling you a pussy and everything what you say to them a stoic a perfect stoic goes good for you and just walks away like literally like does not i do that with comments a lot of times not trying to get their goat not trying to like all you're doing is trying to protect your

goat to not be god that's all you're doing you just don't want people to get your goat and just living your life in a way that your goat has never got. That's what being a stoic is. Let's take a quick break and then come back with the news and other stuff. Andrew, I'm coming in now. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same,

our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season.

We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, We want to speak out. We want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model.

Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread

than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding.

I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours,

stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Dura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back.

Today is later in the day. I want to ask you, what have you done today? I did a lot today. Yeah, I bet. Worked out in the morning. Well, wake up. I make coffee for Brenna every morning. Oh, that's nice. It's kind of nice to do that for my daughter.

And then I send her off. I pack her a half a sandwich and take off the crust. Do you put it in a lunchbox? No, I really do. Do you put it in a the crust and we have a great lunchbox. No, I really do. What's that? Do you put in a lunchbox? Yeah, a little lunchable. A little he-man.

Well, they-man now. Okay, take that joke out. Anyhow. Why? They-they. Oh, no. I'm pronoun. You think that that will get you canceled saying he-man or they-man?

Anyways, there's man in it. He-man is man-man. Oh, yeah. You're going to have to go they-they or they-man. Anyways, there's man in it. He-man is man-man. Oh, yeah. You're going to have to go they-they. They-them. Watch me they-they. Watch me whip. Watch me they-they.

Okay, so you made a little sack lunch. You wrote a note in it and said, honey, have a great day. Honey, enjoy the honey on top of banana and peanut butter. You signed her permission slip to go on the field trip. I wanted to go. I signed it for me. So anyways, I send her off in her little bus.

And well, it's not. OK. It's a they bus. What? It's not little. What is little? A pronoun. Little is not a thing.

Unless you're doing little person, which is the correct thing. My thing was short bus, but then I tried to cover short bus by saying they bus. But I don't know if that works. If you could just do it with everything. I think you should just not do it anymore. I got to stop this. Yeah, stop. Am I cutting this whole thing out?

I don't know. No, no, no, no. Keep it all in. No, no, no, no. Keep it all in. I'm just kidding. If I get canceled, I've never been started. Anyhow, so I went to the gym, our gym.

Don't call it our gym. Our baby gym. I've never been there. Yeah, you went one time, I think. I went because you said there was a hot guy down there, and I ran down. He was gone. You were exhausted. And I left.

You were like. I just hated working out when everyone was wearing masks. Oh, yeah. You're just breathing so heavy and like, ugh. Well, everyone's maskless now. But then I went and got stretched, which is, if you're above 40, you know, my uncle, two fake hips. My dad's on his second fake hip.

I don't really want to get a fake hip. I've gotten stretched before. I love it. Oh, you've gone to stretch you or whatever? I haven't been there, but I went one time right before Dancing with the Stars. I was like, I need to start limbering up my body, so I went to a stretcher place. What did you think? I liked it.

And I always used to get stretched after my personal trainer I had. It was awesome. It was the best part of the whole thing. My little teenager brain is like, she got stretched. Oh, yeah, like porn. No, no, stretch it. What she got stretched like oh yeah like i yeah porn no no stretch it what oh like i'm not even i'm not even going to dignify this with a hamdrop because i don't want it to be a thing not because i'm offended or i'm protecting anyone but because it's stupid

so dumb so then but i really like it they like if you're a lazy guy that doesn't want to do yoga do this twice a week and it will change it really does make you more flexible yeah it's unbelievable that's awesome if you're lazy as fuck i want to go i'll show you it's on manchester cool so then i went from there stretch then i went to golf galaxy to get some new stuff i'm there literally once every two days i don't even buy buy anything. It's just a place for me. You just like to go. It's like my cheers. Well, there was like a Taylor Swift store with just like all of her things there.

I'm in the Taylor Swift merch store every other day. Yeah, you don't have to buy anything. No, I just want to look. I just go in there. I smell the smells. Yeah. I touch the fake aesthetic, fake grass. What word was I trying to say?

Do they know your name now? Is that your cheers? They've seen me plenty. They know me. They know me. Well, the one knows my name. I have two places. Okay. Golf Galaxy is a little bigger.

Also found a nicer Golf Galaxy in Chesterfield, an extra 15-minute drive. Okay. Yes. That's where you're getting pretty intense. When you're crossing state lines, that's when you know. So you went to Golf Galaxy, then you went golfing. Then I went golfing, played nine holes, shot a 40. Not bad. went golfing. Then I went golfing. Played nine holes. Shot a 40.

Not bad. I played okay. Then I putted. Then I came back. Made some food. And now I'm here. Wow. That's a lot, though.

That's a good product. That's a productive day. That's a big day. When did you do that? I got up at, God, I got up. I had to have a COVID test because I'm going to the Grammys. Pre-pre. Pre-prepre i'm going that on sunday so i had a covet test walk the dog uh came back here i know i just wanted to spice it up i'm so bored with what i'm saying that i had to add something to it so i walked the dog and then i got a coffee and i came back here and I took my meds and my vitamins and I ate some breakfast.

And then I went back to sleep. And I waited. I like to chug a coffee and then I like to go back to sleep and take a nap on it. And I listened to a stoic podcast. I fell asleep to that. I woke up an hour later. And then I went and I played guitar for a little bit. I cleaned up around the house because I had the mates coming over and I did some laundry

because I'm going out of town for a week and a half. And then my housekeeper showed up and then I answered some emails, you know, did some like stuff like that. And then, yeah, the housekeeper came over and then I came in here to avoid all that while it was going on and I played guitar in here.

Oh, I'm sorry. I had a call about I'm doing like daily pop on E and nightly pop on E twice a day next week for Monday through Thursday. I'm doing it twice a day and so I had a little

creative call. What is that, a TV show? Yeah, it's on E! And it's a live show on for Daily Pop. And then it's pre-taped for the nightly one. But I'm doing two a day. And then, yeah, I just thought about what I'm going to wear for these types of stuff. You got a Marissa Tomei thing going here.

Oh, I do? Hers is more like this. It's more flirty and opinionated. But I've never seen her in anything, except I just know it from that one scene where she's with Joe Pesci in bed. For some reason, I see Schumer when you do. Really?

Schumer doing a Tomei there. Interesting. Yeah, I don't know about that. Whoa, I love it. I watched her whole show, by the way. I did too. I loved it. Life and Beth.

Cried a little in the last scene. I cried. Thinking about my own mom. That kind of stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah, during the funeral. Whatever. Beth cried a little in the last scene. I cried about my own mom. I cried about, Oh yeah. During the funeral, whatever. I cried when she was the little girl had to wear a wig to school.

Oh yeah. That made me cry of like, just get having like, I just related to being, having a, an anxiety, like a thing you're doing because of anxiety and your whole family knows about it and they don't know what to do with that. And they're whispering about it.

And you're like a pariah. Like it, I loved that show. Rachel was great in it. So good. I talked to her about it. I was just like, girl, you were amazing.

Even when she played the younger girl. What do you mean? Oh, that wasn't. The younger girl. No, that's not. Oh, she played the younger version of herself. That would be insane. That would be like Pen15.

But actually, you know who was fucking fantastic the rap report oh oh my god michael that scene fucking good the scene where i knew you would love that oh my god if you haven't seen life is best uh can we talk about deep water really quick before we go oh my god finally okay we've all we've all watched deep water we're gonna give it enough time it doesn't matter we doesn't deserve enough time. It doesn't matter. Does it deserve enough time? Honestly, Deep Water, if you haven't seen it, it's on Hulu.

It is so awful. Can we just talk about... You know what? Why don't we do our... I'm moving top one, bottom one. We're making it Deep Water. Favorite thing about it, least favorite thing. That's what we'll go into Deep Water. If you haven't seen Deep Water on Hulu, we're making it Deepwater. Favorite thing about it, least favorite thing. That's what we'll go into Deepwater. If you haven't seen Deepwater on Hulu, we won't spoil too much for you,

but also I hope you maybe see it and maybe you could save this podcast for later, for the end of the podcast for later. Let's get to the news. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, man, it's Monday, folks. It's really Friday, but is it Monday?

Who knows anymore? Tuesday. There's all days, but whatever, you know. Let's do things. Playing all the swells. Back to you, Noah. All right, Noah, what are the headlines today? I have good news today.

Younger women now earn at least or as much or more than men in 22 metro areas. Whoa. I'm feeling 22 metro areas where young women are making more than men. Nationwide, women 30 and younger earn 93 cents for every dollar made by a comparable man. This tells me two things. Also, this isn't good news for me i'm not a younger

woman yeah actually women your age are making what i don't want to say the number it's bad dinner tonight six cents for every 40 dollars i mean no no no but are men just making less money could that be i know that men aren't working as much, and men are out of work and feeling really, you know, men are just depressed. And so maybe that's affecting it. Noah, what are they saying? They're saying it's probably because of transparency

and people just being more open about the salaries that they earn. Yeah. And as women do get older, though, the gap kind of widens, and it's because... Being stretched? Well, because they become moms. Yeah, we're stretched out. So they get out of the labor force.

Got it. There's less of us. That's what I'm saying. It is so weird. Like, that's what was my question for that finance woman. Like, is she married? Does she have kids?

Oh, that's why you're asking that. Yeah, I mean that yeah i mean okay it just there i know you can do it but it's just different it's just i also think like the disparity like if it's a low-level job first you know a ceo like obviously there's not that many ceos in their 20s at this point i just looked at the billionaires like the richest people in the world. How many are women? Of the top 10, none. That's what I'm saying. My point is, is as the number goes higher, the percentage goes lower, is what I would guess.

Yeah. You know, they did the top 10 richest women in the world, and I think the richest woman is like, she's like the- It's Bezos' wife. No, it's the founder of like, um, or she owns L'Oreal and all of those like extension brands or whatever. And she, it's somewhere in the 60 billions,

which is not even close to like number 10 on the met. Like it's just, we're not even close to cracking the top 10. It's wild. Well, a lot of the richest women are divorcees. Yes, men.

But yeah. And then they give a lot of the money away because they because they have like kindness in their hearts and they yeah what uh the spanks girl makes a lot of money the women on shark tank make a lot of money kim kardashian was it like they did the celebrities and like yeah kim kardashian rihanna were in the top 10 um i don't think she was like billionaire status now. I think Jay-Z was a billionaire. Rihanna hasn't put out

a song in 20 years but she only makes money. It's through her lingerie and makeup line too. Yeah, which is a complete, anyone who gets that kind of wealthy

from a brand, I watched this whole YouTube thing about it. It's a subscription service to get the Fenty thing, Fenty by Savage, Fenty X Savage line. You do subscription service to get the Fenty thing. Fenty by Savage. Fenty X Savage line.

You do a subscription service that it automatically signs you up for. It's so unethical. And they make all their stuff in sweatshops. It's one of the most egregiously unethical brands. And they trick their consumers with all these extra add-ons. It's wild. And this was just, this girl just had a great point.

She goes, anyone that's a billionaire is doing something unethical. There just isn't a way to get that rich without being a bad person. Did you see Atlanta this week? Yeah, I loved. The latest one?

Well, I just saw the first episode. It's so good. It touches on this. Yeah. I mean, it touches on everything, but. Do you know that's a true story, that first episode of Atlanta? Like first? The first one you told, the third season. So Do you know that's a true story, that first episode of Atlanta?

Like first? The first one of the third season. So if you haven't seen Atlanta before, I really recommend this season because it's completely, it's not linear. Like it's not going with the series. Like I haven't seen any episodes since the first. It does. Season two and three, or episode two and three, it starts becoming linear. Okay, well the first episode. But it jumps a lot.

But yeah, yeah, yeah. of two and three it starts becoming linear okay well the first episode a lot but yeah yeah it's so just it's a story it's a true story about these two lesbian like do-gooders that adopted all of these black children that were in foster care and then like it just gets wild but it's a true story and you should really watch it i loved it so much and i thank you for recommending it to me what's the next story okay there's drama in st lou Louis and the story was sent by a bestie. A St. Louis restaurant stands up to a Los Angeles food blogging influencer after a negative review. Okay.

So here's what happened. The place called corner 17. Have you guys heard of that restaurant? No. Okay. It's a Chinese restaurant was approached by an influencer who has over 200,000 followers on Instagram and said to pay him $100 and he would record the food as it was being made

and then post it on his account. The owner declined. He said, no, thank you. The guy went to the restaurant anyway and then posted on Instagram, on his Instagram story that the food tastes like ass or such a floral taste to these and then like a vomit emoji.

So the restaurant owner, even though he doesn't have as many followers and stuff, he stood up and he exposed that the guy asked him for $100 and he's like, this guy is just coming here and we refuse to pay him $100, and he's attacking us. So a lot of people in St. Louis supported the restaurant

and stood up for us. I was wondering if you guys heard about that story. No, I haven't heard of it, but influences can be so gross. Yeah, that makes the story. I don't know why I'm being angry. It could have been the best meal he's ever had, and he was never going to give it a good review. It's like people just come into he was never going to give it a good review.

It's like people just come into situations looking for reasons to hate it. And I've been that person before of just going in with negativity. But yeah, that sucks. And good on that guy for not just taking it and saying. I'll go there this week and I will give a true, honest review. True. Even if it's bad. You'll go there this week. I promise you, I will go there this week.

Corner 17, I'm coming. Get that ass ready because I'm going to eat it. Okay. All right, I like it. Do you want to go? I can't. I'm out of town. Damn it. I've heard that before i'm

going yeah where are you going to the pre pre pre grammys yeah oh i'm going to the pre pre oscars too they're they're backed up all the way we're doing a pre-show of the pre-show of the pre-show of the pre-show all the way to the next oscars which um i will go there though i'd love to see you go there i hate a guy a hundred A hundred bucks. First of all, what are you... I bet I know what this guy looks like, too. This little catty bitch. Oh, I'm sure. I didn't want to say his name

because I didn't want to give him any kind of support, even good or bad. None of that. Bad press is good press. And good. Keep his name out of your mouth in the words of Will Smith. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that when you say something like that, like when he was like, keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth. He like said it twice because he had nothing else. You know, like we heard you the first time. You know, like whenever someone repeats themselves like twice, comedians do it too of like the punchline.

It's like, no, we heard you. you're just wasting our time with there's nothing funnier than someone that is angry and they don't they can't find the word i mean that's why he punched him it's like he did not have words well you can't compete with chris rock i know i mean it would have been so ugly it would have been that's what he realized as he was walking to say she was he was probably like, oh fuck, I don't have anything to say to this guy. Well, did you see Chris almost went in, and you could hear him under his breath be like, I forgot exactly what the lines were,

but he said something like, essentially like, I got so much to say about this. He probably knows so much. Yeah. He said something though, like under his breath of like, he knows so much shit huh no no he said now he said something though like under his breath of like i could he knows so much shit i mean every celebrity at that level knows so much stuff that could take down everyone i mean even i know stuff that could take down people's careers

so and i've barely got my foot in the door in that way but like yeah i'm sure he knows so much stuff those celebrities luckily paid you a hundred dollars to keep you fucking your mouth shut yes you fucking mouth i love um all right to repeat it is yeah try call me a name and then say it twice you dumb piece of golf shit i don't know i just want to do it one more time a little bit dumb piece of golf shit. I don't know. I just want to call you golf. Not do it one more time, but a little bit. You dumb piece of golfing shit. It feels good, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. It feels mean. All right.

Next story. Okay, we'll do a quick one before our break. Pets have the potential to make their owners more attractive. They serve as both conversation starters

and tools for relational maintenance. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, my god yes pants are so good for everything so a part of the research which i found interesting um the study shows that women were more discriminating regarding the association of a potential partner with pets than men they were more discriminating like oh well my thing is always like if he has a dog i'm just like that he's in every fucking picture with in bumble or whatever he's gonna give too much attention to i'm just like get over your dog like i can't stand these guys that are just like all they care about is their dog like i love my dog but it's not it's too much to be like he's my everything i i live and breathe this like it's

just too much i'm just like go just fuck your dog already like i'm never gonna and and sometimes the dog is like not that cute and i'm just like i don't think i'll ever like this thing as much as you do and that's gonna be a divide between us i'm opening up some pickles because i really want one right now well the word pickles is my favorite. I love pickles so much. One of my favorite words. I just brought it out because I think it would be funny. And it's not the most annoying thing. Like, listen to this crunch.

Kind of looks like a dog's penis, to be honest. I'm not going to chew on Mike. We can go to break. Okay, so I'll keep going. What do you think, Andrew? No, I know. It was a joke to just be quiet the whole time while you eat off mic. I think that if a girl has a dog –

I got to think that maybe it's from a past relationship, so maybe there's baggage there potentially. That would make me really sad if that was the reason. Girl or guy. I think maybe that could be a reason. Or, I don't know. I'm trying to think why a girl would not, other than that, not like a guy. Either they're allergic.

I don't know. It also says that women are more likely to pay attention to how a date interacts with their pet than men. Oh. Which is kind of like what Nikki was saying. Right. Like. Oh, okay. But they don't care if the person actually owns a dog.

I care if someone is like. I don't care if you're like fawning over. I've had Luigi when I've been single and guys have met him. And Marianne when I had her. And I wasn't like. Like sad if they didn't show enough.'m just like it's just they don't need to be like fawning over if they were just totally dismissive of it i'm just like well that's kind of weird but i've seen some real assholes like real like like dark thinking assholes when they see a puppy or a dog they

turn into like their seven-year-old self when i think they probably like something shitty happened to them you know maybe a dog bit their dick or something but they go from like yeah fuck this fucking and it's just like i don't know what that is what do you think that is like where they're where they're i don't know it just makes us because they're so freaking cute and it reminds me I had this joke once where I was at the dog park and this guy was like, what's your dog's name? And I was like, Luigi. And he was like, but what do you call him?

And I was like, Luigi. And he was like, what do you call him? And I was like, little woo woo. And he was like, oh God. I was like, I know. He's like, yeah. Oh look, he looked up. He looked up.

Are you a little woo woo? Are you a gentle Mike? I was taking a shit at a dog owner's house when I used to walk dogs. And he was a big real estate guy, like a boss. Yeah. And I heard him talking to his little toy poodles. Like the little babies. Like, oh, daddy's home.

I know. And he was down on the ground. And I come out of taking a shit. And he's just like, hey, man, what's up? What's up, dude? Oh, man, you ever punch a kid? And I'm like, what the ground and I come out of taking a shit and he's just like, Hey man, what's up? What's up, dude? Oh man, you ever punch a kid? And I'm like, what? You don't have to.

All right, we got to go to break. We'll be back with top one, bottom one, Deep Water Edition. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year,

offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to

the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaneyaney rowe and cord jefferson each episode

is a new person's story with new lessons new memories and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique listen to many questions on the iheart radio app apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please.

Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.

Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey

through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts all right we're back well let's do why do i care before we get to deep water let's do it um why do i care why do i care okay let's see if you care about this uh sydney sweeney

the 24 year old star of shows like Euphoria and The White Lotus, told Ellen that she invited her entire family, including her uncle and grandparents, to the premiere of Euphoria, and they all watched her nude scene. Okay. When Ellen asked her how her grandparents reacted, she said,

They said I have the best tits in Hollywood. That's good and bad, I guess. She really does. By the way, I've sent many, I've sent some pictures, not many a picture, but a couple pictures of her, maybe one,

to my boyfriend just to be like, check out this fucking lady. Like, isn't she, and he was like, not my type, but like, yeah, really good. But she's made me stop and go, yikes.

She's got a great bod. Yeah, I like her a lot. I think I feel a little uncomfortable by this whole comment, but you know, that's okay. I like that she is okay with that. I would be very uncomfortable. Like when my dad was like, va, va, va, voom about me. I was wondering if you would invite your entire family.

Like if you had your own movie and there was a nude scene. You know, I would say don't listen to me naked. I would say, you know, close your eyes at this part. Yeah. I don't want my parents seeing me naked. My mom, I can handle it. Just your grandpa like this. Uncle.

Like, you know what I mean? It's just, I don't, it's nice. I mean, my grandma being like, hey, you're cock, great cock there in scene four. Yeah, best cock in Hollywood. Yeah. I mean, she grandma being like, hey, you're cock, great cock there. Yeah, best cock in Hollywood. Yeah. I mean, she'd be a liar, but I'd love her for it. Hollywood, Florida.

She'd also be a liar. Yeah, it would be, I wouldn't mind my mom seeing a nude scene or like a love scene because it's my, I just. There's something to like your dad supporting your comedy. You talk about blowjob. You talk about. Yes, but that's not eliciting boners in people.

Like, or it's not meant to. Whereas nude scenes often are trying to get you in a romantic. Like if it was, I don't know. I just would feel more uncomfortable with it actually being witnessed. Like when my dad on the, on Not Safe, when Safe, when I did the lie detector, when he said he had heard me having sex, it was the worst thing I've ever heard. That's what he said. I know. I didn't think it would be.

But there's something about being heard in that context is different than me telling a story of it. I don't know why. I mean, that show, have you watched a story of it and i don't know why i mean i that show have you watched one episode no the tits is like the least cringy part of that show right so i can't believe she was like what about my pussy yeah grandma grandma what about my grandma my asshole grandma also they are teenagers in this show it's so weird i watch this show it feels dirty sometimes to watch this show even though it's very entertaining yeah but it who the guy that creates it like i don't know what goes on in hollywood like during like when her tits are great

right she's playing a teenager 18 or no i guess i mean then she would have to be she was a junior last year right if she okay yeah yeah they don't really show the high school at all either by the way they don't show to teachers they kind of keep you in this like adult world too so then you forget that they're they're not even contextualized as children yeah i don't know if he i don't know why he does that it's a weird choice maybe because it would be so uncomfortable to see them, to be reminded that they're children. Ah. Shit. No.

I just remember being in trouble. We were talking about this at the cellar the other night, getting in trouble for watching Dawson's Creek in high school. I was like, they were doing too many sexual things. Now kids are watching Euphoria. I mean, it's- Yeah, 10 years from now, it'll be like- It's a different world.

It'll be like anal POV. And they'll be like anal pov and they'll be like dude remember like euphoria like only showed tits and now we're like watching porn last night and all i could think about was how the things that i'm watching are accessible to like children to like it's just it's not okay it's just not okay i'm i'm really like porn is really bad for the world yeah it's really really bad it should be something that children should there should be ways that they try at it they have no control over it now and i just i i love porn and i like porn stars and i don't think what they're doing is trying to like you know ruin but could it be a thing that it's just like not taboo anymore it's like that's a pussy that's a pussy like like could there be no i mean no like i think free sites like a porn hub and stuff they're under

a lot of scrutiny because there's a lot of um like sex trafficking and like uploading of videos of minors and stuff and it's not regulated or anything like that so yes i think those are the sites that are i know that i have watched... I know that I have watched videos. I know that I have watched videos where the girl... I read this somewhere the other day about porn. It's like,

yes, these women are consenting to do this. Maybe you'll see them in a video before it happens. I watch sometimes brutal things. Literally, the word brutal is in it. And the thing is like, these women may have signed onto this, but much like I have been in sexual situations sometimes where something

starts being like not fun for me and I don't like it. And I just don't say anything because it's too big of a fucking production to stop it. So you just let this thing happen that you don't like. And in porn that can be such a slippery slope because not only are you like it's it's when it's just me and a guy and he's doing something i don't like and i'm like i'll just put up with it like who cares it's gonna be over soon that is already such a sad situation to be in and it's not his fault i'm just like i'm just trying not to be awkward or like make him

feel bad but when you're on a set and there's people who are like union employees and their lunch like that them stopping down because you're feeling uncomfortable and ruining the scene and having to it's just like there's so many times i that women have continued on with these scenes and you put up with this much that makes uncomfortable and then you go okay well if i'm willing to do that then it gets a little bit more uncomfortable and you go okay that too and then it just it can easily get out of hand so i know i've witnessed women doing things that they really did not sign up for and I just I just know it because it's just there's no chance that I that I have it and I'm grateful for those horrible experiences women went through because I'm like I'm I'm not grateful for it

I'm so sad that it happened but like I want to say that like i see you if that's you and like i i'm sorry i came to what you went through i really am but i see you and i'm trying to figure out how to be at peace with it or like separate myself from it or like hand because i don't want to support these things i'm grateful was the wrong word please don't take that out of context but i just want to say like you are putting yourselves in situations that are really scary and um and to make content for people like me and i appreciate that and i'm sorry that if it's it's not a better situation you know this is a amazing oscar speech it's my avn award they they might not have asked me to host again, the ABNs. They've asked me before.

I would just be like, this is, what if I just turned it into like a whole expose about how the business is so terrible? And then you just add, I just love the ending. That's the only way I can come. I know. It's just so funny to see like President Zelensky doing like, we have to stop Russia. The Western world must help us. And if you do, it's the only way I can come.

You know what I mean? Or like, we've seen so many dead bodies and it's the only way I can come. But I'm grateful for those dead bodies because that's the only way I can climb. Yeah. That's literally what I just sounded like.

Okay. I regret everything. It's Russian style. I don't know what I'm talking about. It's too late in the day. Let's, it's really late at night in the day. But your face looks great.

Oh, thanks. Okay, let's get to top one, bottom one. Deep Water Edition. Okay, so let's talk about this movie, Deep Water, that we all watched on Hulu. Oh, my God. We are going to talk about our top one and bottom one moment from it. Let's start with bottom because that's where literally

every kind of anecdote or or thought about this movie belongs it was a movie starring ben affleck and anna de arm arm arm us and they were banging each other when they made it that's why i wanted to watch it i thought it would be super sexy and it is a very sexy movie. It's a thriller. I just love when people on screen are banging off screen and I know it. I just like seeing that chemistry. It makes me feel like I'm in their relationship a little bit and it's voyeuristic. She is amazingly gorgeous. It is a movie about a guy, Ben Affleck, and this woman who are married and they have a

kid and she is a woman that is constantly sleeping with other men in town and he knows about it and the town knows about it and he's like a cuck and then they start disappearing and getting murdered and you wonder if it's ben affleck and then you know hilarity ensues and there are snails there are my least favorite part yeah my bottom part of this movie the wallet was the snails it was shoehorned in they served no purpose um his he was a guy ben affleck's character is his husband and he has this whole like snail garden where he like has a bunch of snails in a tank and like it's not like they eat the dead bodies that he's killing or allegedly killing like there's no i could understand if he was like into compost and you're like oh maybe that's what he's doing with all along that's where the bodies were going or

something the snails were just sliming up things but the snails represent like what moving slowly in the sense of like so does anything else i know i'm just saying like i it was originally based off of a book and I think the snails played a part in the book in a big way. I want to say I've done research on this movie because it's so insane to me that this thing got made. That they had to. The director directed a bunch of thrillers back in the day. Like some of the best thrillers that there were. Hasn't directed in so long.

He's like 89 years old. So you have an elderly director. Yeah. That is probably part of the problem they had to do reshoots on it like a year later because the finished product it was supposed to come out in 2019 oh wow before the pandemic also isn't one of the creators yes what's his name the writer sam sam something oh yes uh the actors in it but one of the writers is sam Levinson

or whatever. I don't know his name, but when I read about it, I noticed that and that explained a lot. But the snails, I don't want to give away anything, but the wallet. Okay, yeah, they just got slime all over it. What were they doing to the wallet?

Maybe they were eating the wallet. Maybe snails eat things. Well, then they should have shown the snail eating it or parts of it decaying. The snail is the pig of the insects. Okay, so for you guys, the wallet was some evidence that maybe someone was trying to get rid of. And so Andrew's saying maybe he was trying to get rid of evidence. That's not what was happening.

It just was a wallet with a bunch of slime on it in the snail tank. It's so stupid. Yeah, I know, but what was it doing in the snail tank? Because maybe he thought no one would open it. That's what I thought. No one would go in there. Yes, the snails are so gross, it keeps people from opening it doing in the snail tape because maybe he thought no one would open it that's what I thought no one would go in there yes the snails are so gross it keeps people from opening it

but then why not why not work with tarantulas or something that more that people are actually scared of it felt so forced that's why I was like maybe it's steeper that's why

it's so stupid it makes no sense okay so that was your least that's my least favorite thing which one snails oh the snails snails

um shit I have so... It was hard to get through that movie, man. Pick one. Pickle. All right. I mean, I would have to say just her at the party. Just completely.

Oh, the safety? Completely wasted and completely just... It's one thing to be a cuck. And then everyone stops and looks at her because she's so enigmatic and she's wasted playing piano. Oh, that's a different party. That's the first party with the blonde-haired guy. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

She was singing with the piano at that party. No, that was the second party. No, it was the first party too. Oh, first party. Okay, so either party. Her at a party. It's one thing to cuck in the private. Cuck away.

That's what Ben likes. you cuck him in the... It isn't what he likes, though. No, I know. But at a party, it really got me. With all of Ben's friends around. It was bad. It was bad. It was bad.

Because... But that was what the movie... I have to say, that was part... That's something I liked about it because it was so weird. But he wasn't into it. That's why it made me so angry. I know, was fucking with him she knew he would never leave her she said that like i know that you what are you gonna do about it then leave me and he's not doing it so she was almost testing him like she loved she was jada pinkett smithing it like she wanted to push

him because she wanted to see him act out because she got so horny from him loving her and wanting her so bad and getting jealous that she she did that to fuck with him i mean so many scenes they would be making out and then she would make eye contact with him while they were making out so she she loved it but i thought she was black snarling him because i had a whole other black snarling yes i know what was your thought at the end i think at the end we should talk about like what we thought the plot was because my plot was totally different but to what andrew was saying about the parties, so if anyone didn't watch it,

it was about these affluent people and they would be at a party every single day. I was like, aren't these people exhausted? Well, it was in New Orleans. So many parties. So many parties. It was Louisiana, that's why, I think. It was so funny.

I was looking at all the extras and they're just all these people no party would have this kind of people at it like it was just such a mismatched group of like it was filmed during the pandemic no I guess it wasn't filmed during the pandemic but it was just like I was just it's so funny party scenes in movies like it's just

the weirdest looking groups of people but they were always going to so many parties you're right and that was another annoying thing of it and but didn't you think that she knew that she had something on him just more than the love like that she knew that he actually murdered the one guy you know what I mean that's how I felt

I felt like she had something on him that's why he kept being such a cuckoo interesting okay I kind of like that but but it turned out that wasn't or maybe it was who knows who the fuck knows because the ending is so stupid. Oh, my God. Oh, you know what my least favorite?

Can I just say my least favorite part? More than snails? No, more than snails. This was only if you've seen it. And I'm sorry. When Ben is with the stick at the end, like poking around to get that guy like back in the water. And that guy, the author, shows up out of nowhere.

How was he there? Why was he there? Oh, my God. Why was he there? Why was he there? This actually brings me to my other least favorite. They should just have given him a reason to be there. Why was he there? He knew. I think he heard of this creek.

He knew that there was a body in that creek? No, it's because he had nothing else to do with his day except for be suspicious of Ben Affleck. Oh, so he's following him. I thought he just wound up there because I'm like, oh, I'm on a hike and I just happened to see this

guy who I suspect of murdering out with a stick trying to poke a body. It's just a town with people who have nothing to do and party and follow each other. And why if he thought that Ben was a murderer, would he go stumbling in his dress shoes down a ravine and get closer to a guy who's obviously doing something nefarious and will definitely kill you? It was so dumb.

Can we get into this? And when he was speeding away from Ben and he goes, oh, now I'm going to write a book about you. He was saying all these dumb runaway things. And I'm like, focus on getting away, you freaky, dumb old man. He's like, the murder. And why was his wife so young? He's talking into his phone like, chapter four. Oh, yeah.

The murderer. It's like, he's in there. He's right behind you. He's right behind you on a bike going so much faster than you can drive in your little dumb station wagon. But can we get into that? What? Him biking everywhere? Well, it's the Friday the 13th.

Jason walking faster than someone runs. Get the fuck out of here. Ben was good at biking, though. He biked everywhere. And he took shortcuts that the guy didn't know about. That of here. Ben was good at biking, though. He biked everywhere, and he took shortcuts that the guy didn't know about. That is true. A shortcut could get you pretty far.

That's another thing of don't text and drive. Don't try to do voice notes and drive while driving away from Ben Affleck coming after you on a bike to murder you. Okay, so what's our best parts? I don't even know what our best... Noah hated the parties. The best part for me was how hot they both were and the scene where they have sex.

It was super duper hot. And I did not like any of the sex with the other guys. Really. I just wanted to her and Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck is so freaking good looking. He still got it. Love the face work him. They definitely had chemistry in that one scene and i definitely

think he takes jobs to get naked with women that he wants to hook up with and i don't begrudge him for it because i'm sure it's just part of the reason that he takes these gigs but that is those sex scene that that one was super hot no do you have a best part okay it's like i really had to dig in there to say this yeah um but i guess i kind of like the sexual tension i like the idea of like cucking and stuff like that but um cuckoldings i should say but uh it just it it didn't do it right because of all the other things that we discussed yes did you like the little girl like singing in the car at the end after we watched this awful

murder scene to lighten the mood oh outtakes the little daughter four year old singing the Bee Gees in the back of the car it was like the dumbest thing during the credits to have this little girl like singing a song it was so stupid her singing made me understand the wife cheating.

That's how bad her singing was. Oh, my God. I loved her being such a bad mom. Wait. Tell me your tops, and then I want to tell you what I thought about the movie. My top. Yeah. I guess the only thing that the one...

It is weird to... Her being naked in a lot of it? No, it wasn't even that. That was awesome. My top is her not wearing a tie yeah yeah i guess my when ben okay first of all i was rooting for ben because i hated her so much and then by the end of it i wanted them all to die yeah but when ben sat down the brad pitt younger looking guy the first guy she was fucking and at the party and told him that he murdered the

other guy that was good that was and then when the guy came over and ben was still like giving him food and like i did enjoy that because it gave ben at least some backbone yes but that was the only redeeming thing about the whole movie final thought noah what do you make of this movie okay so at first i thought the same like you like this woman cheats and you know it stresses him out and all that and then as the movie started to end i realized like i thought that it was more of this woman is trapped by this guy who is a genius and he's very wealthy and powerful and he i thought it was like an erectile dysfunction thing where he could not satisfy her and but also would not let her leave the relationship and she would have all these um affairs and you know to she obviously had some kind of like

like sex addiction or something and um and every time she would get that satisfied, he would go and kill these guys and she would just feel trapped in this loop. That's what I took away from it. But he did fuck her though, the one scene, right? Yeah, he did fuck her. Well, do you remember at the party when she backed up to him and he's like,

oh, oh, yes, yes, that was hot. I thought like, oh, she's teasing him because she knows that he can't keep an erection so it's just going to tease him a little bit and then i love this wow it's such a funny plot twist of like that could have been solved with viagra yeah the whole fucking movie yeah it ends with him should i murder the guy or get a hard cock i think it was just a vehicle for these for just a sexy movie that really taught me nothing, told me nothing, didn't make me think about anything deeper.

Just made me, honestly, what I took away from it is that I need to make movies because anything goes. Anything fucking goes. Like there's, sometimes you see movies and you just go, how,

you know, there's a podcast, how did this get made about these kinds of movies i can't wait until they do this movie on there but it really does blow your mind the stuff that gets made and this was an example of something that should not have been made i'm glad it was you've got to see it because it's just so weird the music is good the cinematography is good the um what about the cops the cops oh my god what cops i don't remember them detectives oh yeah when he murdered the guy oh my god oh what about the good cop bad cop they didn't even get into it so she snaps once so he murders her boyfriend right her this is like the second one of all the guys she's he's in front of 400 people and he murders him or whatever at a party at their friend's house right so when the guy's six seven and when he murders yeah when he after he murders him the cops come right and they're like pulled

the body out of the fucking thing and they're all sitting around trying to investigate it and she starts screaming and crying being like you murdered him i know you did i know you murdered him and so the cops are like we're gonna take you away so she's screaming this in front of all their friends that are like freaked out because they just witnessed this guy dying and then the next week they're all at like a fun brunch party in this like back backyard barbecue with all the same people it's so weird so weird or what about when ben oh go when he went over for dinner? When he went to the guy's dinner? The book, the writer.

Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, what about what? Oh, when he danced with the guy's wife, I was like, fuck yeah. Yeah, I like that too. I was like, get it, girl. Get it. I thought that we were going to, I would have loved to see the sex scene between those two. I wanted to fuck him on top of the writer's head.

I just wanted him to fuck a blonde girl so I could kind of blur my eyes and picture it. That's why you like Sweeney's tits. I mean, I always like girls that look like, like I'm always more like, you know, porn, everything. I just want someone to. I only jerk off to fucking Danny DeVito. No, so. You said I looked like Taylor Hawkins yesterday.

And it was so funny because I've been thinking every time I see a picture of Taylor Hawkins RIP coming up, I think it's me for a second. And that's flattering to me. I do look, I do, without makeup, I do look like Taylor Hawkins. I mean,

you could, if you dress like, it would be great. He has a great smile. Like he's always smiling and like, it would be a good, I mean,

I guess it wouldn't be a good, it would have been a good Halloween costume. I literally think you look like if Kurt Cobain and Taylor Hawkins had a baby. And that's why you said i should never meet dave girl it would be very triggering well you'd be dead in a week shots fired oh my god baby drowned okay oh god here's the other thing about 10 sauces here here's the other thing yeah inside my belly the movie is one of those movies you can't turn it off and i'll give it credit for that that's that okay i'll get maybe partly because you said to see this i i thought you

might have loved it i was also watching this movie where you thought i might like it yes so i didn't know at what point i love the dumbest person on earth or i love it well it took me about great april fools i did have an april fools joke and that was it i didn't mean to they said something Is Nikki the dumbest person on earth? I love it. That's a great April Fool's. I did have an April Fool's joke, and that was it. I didn't mean to. They said something about April Fool's that I read that was like, you are meant to confuse, not abuse. That's what a good prank is.

If the person can laugh afterwards. Confusion, not abuse. Confusion, which I like. Confusion said that. It is hard. There are certain movies that are so bad that they're and this one was i think not bad enough but i don't know we got pretty fired up here yeah i it just can we do our top 10 bad movies that you watch the whole thing and actually enjoyed it i don't watch bad

movies i just i don't watch movies in general like so i don't and and you know i know there are a lot of bad movies from my childhood that i think are good because i was a child and children are dumb got you you know what i mean i'm trying to even think of like one bad movie that i've seen that i like i walked out of dinner for schmucks i hated it i walked out of horrible bosses hated it i thought it's just these movies are just so insulting to your to your intelligence that any of this would fly. Any of these people would act this way. It's just like, I can't stand it.

Just leave your job. Don't murder your boss. It is so funny. No one boss has acted this way. To see you buying a ticket for Deepwater, it's just such a funnier thing to go to the movie theater. To write Hulu and say, I think my monthly subscription should be

complimentary this week. Yeah, I walked out of my living room. Think about how many shows and movies we've walked out of that we used to have to go somewhere or whatever to like... Oh, I would walk out of theaters all the time. Really? I never walked out of a theater. I do not put up with

something that is like... The theater doesn't give a fuck the guy working like they already got their money i don't want this movie to have my money i don't want this man to make more movies they already have your money he already has your money no i'm taking it back so it'll be one less box office money you would leave and ask for your money back if it was before 45 minutes in the movie a hundred percent wow yeah and it's not because i want that fucking money no because i need to send a message with my money that is don't make these movies this is not good i've never heard of anyone doing this people do it all the time and you can do it anytime you want

i wouldn't do it now because like theaters are suffering but back in the day when they were fine before movie pass uh we gotta go let's um, shots fired. We gotta go. Have such a great Monday. We'll see you tomorrow on the podcast. Don't be cut and jazz for your money back. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that

can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up. Well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast.

Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout.

I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season.

But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Sheckner, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast.

And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.