The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #199 A Dirty For Every Day

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

Nikki has already done 7 hours of talking, she's very much into ghosts which is why is calls herself an orange apparition and they are all proud of their friend Emil Wakim. Nikki tells Andrew about her upcoming appearances and which Youtube star slid into her DMs. They briefly discuss a cringe moment at the Youtube Awards pre show that involved Norm MacDonald  and Nikki explains why the song Dirty Pop always gets stuck in her head. You Heard It Here First, lightening did strike but was it worth it? Get into the G Zone and we all care about Emil Wakim performing on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Andrew premieres his new segment Andrew's Succinct Short Story Circle Segment, where he shares one from his teenage years getting caught with weed.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Sheckner, Billy Porter, and so many more.

Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same,

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Seven questions, limitless answers. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo

topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio

app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm Nikki Glaser. I'm in Los Angeles still. Andrew Collin is holding down my fort in St. Louis. He's in my apartment alone. How's it going in there? Everything smells good here, Nick. And Noah is, of course, in Arizona. How are you guys doing today? What's the vibe? I'm a vampire.

What do you mean? Look at how pale I look. Yeah, you do look pale. I look so orange. I really went heavy on the Sally Hansen today. You did? Yeah, I just saw some pictures yesterday and footage where I just did not look as tan as I wanted to be. It really does.

It just does something for my dude. It makes me feel amazing to be a bronze goddess. It just changes everything for me. It's not worth it to me to not stain everything that I said. I said, I just, I just did literally, this is my seventh hour of talking today. And this is the seventh hour of the today show. And I sat on for the last thing I

did I was sweating so much because I think I was revealing too much it was like a show about dms and just about like who have you dm'd who's dm'd you what celebrities and I was tired and like hungry and I just gave them what they wanted and I said things I probably I probably shared things I shouldn't have. And I was sweating so much and I got up from my seat. It was on a white couch and I left behind a significant print. And you could tell they were all like, what the fuck?

Like they weren't okay about it. Like I'm so used to leaving orange everywhere and people being like, Oh, it's okay. We'll just fucking dry clean it or, you know, shout wipes and stuff. But, um, they seem to be actually mystified. And I said, well, it's okay. We'll just fucking dry clean it or shout wipes and stuff.

They seem to be actually mystified. I said, well, it's because you guys made me sweat. I was nervous because I'm talking about... No one's going to ever DM me again because they don't feel like their privacy can be trusted. Now, what's the outline look like? I don't really need anyone to DM me.

Does it look like a dead body? What was the outline looking like? I don't really need anyone to DM me. Does it look like a dead body? Like, what was the outline looking like? Is it just legs? How much was it? Yeah, no. It's just like, it just looks like an orange apparition. Like, the markings of, like, a ghost are left behind. I'm very into ghosts right now.

And, like, the, you know, ever since watching Tyler Henry, I finished the show, like, 10 episodes tyler henry i'm so i finished the show like 10 episodes last night i love it so much so it looked like yeah it was just looked like there was a very tan like it was the ghost of who's that one really tan guy that i think he's dick clark no yeah yeah he was um oh no it's another guy yeah Tom Jones. Tom Jones is very orange. But it's a different guy. He's not dead either. He's not dead.

He isn't? Well, he could be. But his tan looks so good, he looks alive. Right. I just saw a video of a rapper that died who got shot to death. He was 24. And they put him in a club. And they just erected his body where he was just standing there in the corner with his hand.

Yeah, but like dead, dead. That's what I want to do. Is this in the United States? If I ever die, just put me on a putting green. Yeah, well, that's how you'll probably die. We can just leave you there. Yeah, just leave me where you found me. Just have a party around my dead body.

Do you ever get scared of getting hit by lightning isn't that what happens to like golfers a lot i'm the shortest out there i'll be fine right i think i don't know my hairy fucking body and my fat nipples i'll be fine i could take on a strike i think you just said that age 24 and i just posted emil is doing emil joaquin is doing the tonight show tonight he's on fallon um or it was last night this is going out on wednesday but on tuesday night and um i was also 24 when i did my first tonight show and i just posted a picture of what i looked like on my first night show it is so wild how i look like i'm wearing a fat suit and that is not like to be offensive to anyone it

looks like i'm wearing it looks like i'm trapped inside and i was trapped in my body like i just was so miserable then but i just can't believe i went on tv looking like that and no one was like and it's not about the weight i want to be very clear about that my hair just looks like greasy i'm pale like i just didn't know what the fuck i was doing with anything when I was 24. Did you have a stylist back then? Or any kind of team entourage? No, I had no idea. It was my first time ever getting a car service, which I know sounds bougie,

but that is ubiquitous in my life now. Just getting in cars, that's just what I do. You didn't need a truck? What do you mean? Oh, God. For my dumps? No, wait. Can I ask a question? I didn't have a size. I went to Urban Outfitters. Was that Leno or Fallon?

Leno before Conan left. The original Leno. It was January 27, 2009. Didn't you get it like a day before? When did that happen? No, the day of. Day of. I got...

Emile's known for seven months. I know. Emile's been... That's because he's known about his actual date of doing it for probably like a couple weeks now. And so he's been like, oh, it's coming up. And I mean, I knew the morning of. I got woken up by a call at 11 a.m.

But I had already had my, they had proved my set, which is like they say you do your set a bunch of times for the bookers and then they eventually go fix this, tweak this, and then you eventually give them one and they go, that's it. And I got the set. They're like, that's the set. We're so excited. And then I waited and I told my family

I told my friends like my parents told everyone they knew and I was you know struggling in LA didn't have a job I was constantly overdrafting my account my mom was putting in money just to bail me out and they were running out of it was just like a bad situation but then I got to tonight show and it was like oh everything's looking up and I still was like not making money but at least I had the tonight show and then two years passed and I was not booked oh, everything's looking up. And I still was like not making money, but at least I had the Tonight Show. And then two years passed and I was not booked. So I gave up. And then that one, January 27th, 2009, I woke up to a call from the Tonight Show

saying that we had a dropout. Are you able to do it tonight? And I didn't remember the set that I had given them initially to go do on the show because it had been so long. But I had it on a DVD because at that time, the club i had it on a dvd because at that time the club that i did it at gave me a dvd of that set and i thought i'd never forget it but you know two years passes and i totally didn't remember it but i um i woke up that day i couldn't find the

dvd i just ran to go get my hair done because i just thought like that's what you need to do you need to dye your hair so i went and got my hair like colored and and highlighted even though it looks brown i don't even know what i was thinking i should have gotten it like i should have just gone and gotten a spray tan that would have been so much better for me but i went to urban outfitters and i remember telling the girl like i'm gonna be on the tonight show and kind of being like coy about it but also being like it's so cool you know and i remember she was just like okay um i mean i don't know i was like you're not you're not impressed by that at all like at all like i just remember being like oh she doesn't think that's cool and she you should you should

just go look at my instagram it's like i have these black boots and a black like um i guess uh just uh bandeau like like uh i don't even know what's called what's it called when it doesn't a sleeveless dress not sleeveless but it's like a like a it doesn't have any top to it are you looking at it looks like a bandeau yeah bandeau uh like shimmery black bandeau and it was just i'm wearing stockings too like who wears stockings i didn't know what the fuck i was doing i really didn't know i didn't i think i got my hair and makeup done in like two seconds in the chair there now it would be like two hours and I'd get there before. It was just so funny.

When you do your set, who else was on the show? And did Jay talk to you afterwards? Was there anything like any? Well, I didn't know what the set was. So I get home at, so the car service is picking me up at like, let's say, four o'clock and the show's tapes at five and I get home I pull into my driveway I see this black car out front being like wait is that so I get in that and so I was like just one second I'm like telling the driver like

wait one second I grabbed my roommate's laptop because I didn't have one I couldn't afford it and I go searching through all the DVDs we had to find that one set and I finally found it was like a mirror I could not believe I found this set. And I put, I watched it on the way to the set in the back of this car. And I studied, I just like memorize the set I did that night that they approved. And then as soon as I got on the lot,

I opened the door and Bob and Ross were there, the bookers. And they were like, what's the set? We don't remember it. What is it? And I just ran it off and they were like, that's great.

That's what we knew. You could have done anything probably. but at that point they would have they would have been like what what is that like it was two years later i mean it was significantly amount of a significant amount of time i did a rape joke which i i couldn't do on any network nowadays i don't think let alone nbc and uh rain wilson and huba stank were the other guests and paul abdul was the one that I was filling in for. I was the second guest which comedians are never the second guest ever.

And yeah before the set I was just like shown my like spot to go like to stand. My parents weren't there obviously like my parents would have been there had I known about it like they would have flown in. My friends would have been there. My only friend there was Jen Murphy at the time she lived down the street so she was able to go my roommate lisa

she was on the nbc lot she worked as um an assistant for someone in the lit department so she was able to go but um i just they so when i when they showed me my spot where to stand when they pull back the curtain um before the show started jay was out there doing something and he walked over and was like hey so uh we're all excited to have you on the show started jay was out there doing something and he walked over and was like hey so uh we're excited to have you on the show and like you know what just like kill it like just do whatever you want like okay they're gonna tell you to wrap it up but just like have fun and he encouraged me like do what you want it was very nice and so um i found out later like the bookers got in trouble because i went too long because i was kind of following jay advice and I killed, like I had the best,

one of the best, I always have the best sets doing tonight shows, but it was a great set. How far over did you go? Probably like 30 seconds to a minute, which is everything in late night. But I walked over to the couch and the funniest part was I walked over

and Rainn Wilson was there being interviewed before me. So he was still on the couch and I walked over and he got up and was like, great job. And I was like, thanks, Dwight. And I said Dwight very loudly. And that's obviously his character's name on The Office. And I didn't catch it until I watched it later. And I was like, oh God.

And then, yeah, I was just like sitting there. Wait, was that on purpose? No, my God. I was just fl there. Wait, was that on purpose? No, my God. I was just flabbergasted and just said his character's name. It was so embarrassing. And I remember my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend at the time, didn't say anything when it aired. I was just so hurt by him not watching it.

I remember later that night, he was like, all he said was something like, Rainn Wilson isn't funny or something like that. Like, it was just something about the show, but not about me. Instead of giving you credit,

yeah. Oh, it was just so hurtful. I remember that being- I don't have cable, sorry. I don't have a TV. It's like,

yeah, you do. He was not capable of like, being loving and like, doing, he just wasn't capable of it. I just remember, I'm so sad for like, the girl girl that i was like being so sad that night because it's when something like that happens

where like the person you care about lets you down in that way so severely where it's like there's just no excuse for not saying something nice you know i just you just know this isn't gonna work it maybe isn't gonna end now now, but it's over. At some point, it's going to be over. Little did I know it was going to be a year and a half later, but at that moment, it was just like, you just know.

He's like, you can't keep doing this to me. What, succeeding? It is important that the person in your life like that it is important to me that people say nice things about stuff and not try to act too cool for it and or like they're not impressed like i i really need that i you know i i just feel like it's just i don't know i get really sad when like i don't know it's it's kind of a glazer trait too like the my family gets has such expectations for people being complimentary and thankful and like mostly complimentary accolades is my dad's favorite word they didn't give you enough accolades

why are they there's i want them to like talk about your accolades like they get really upset when family members or friends aren't like they'll they'll even be like wasn't nikki great on that thing they'll like kind of set someone up and if you don't deliver they're like almost like you're dead to them and i'm always like people are jealous dad and that's not me being like you know i they they want to be us they're just their lives aren't going well. And it's really hard, especially sometimes for me to celebrate other people when my life is not going well. And it's, it's literally impossible to be enthusiastic about someone.

And so it's not really, you don't need to take it so personally. I think some people see it as a weakness to be very congratulatory of people. Yeah. They think that, Oh, I can't. Enthusiasm. Yeah yeah is like being a pussy or

something yeah yeah and it's just i don't know and it's like well because that gets rewarded you know like being too cool for school if you don't yes if you don't if someone gets off stage and you're like dude that was fucking awesome man like i love that joke like i was laughing so hard they'll be like what a fucking dude i can't this kid's never gonna be on my level you know and it's like no dude just take it in your mom was so nice after the other night yeah i'm sure that they were very complimentary about you and um and david spade because they know that that stuff matters like my parents and and i like to say that i give as much as i expect to because i was just talking about this doing this press like i remember chris rock getting off stage one time before me at the

comedy cellar and i was thinking insert slap joke here i was thinking i he doesn't need me to say good set but when you are following a comedian they're walking off and you're walking on you always say good set especially if it was a good set. And Chris Rock had a good set, like, you know, crazy that that happened. But, and I just remember being like,

I can't say good set to Chris Rock. He knows it's a good set. But then I remembered, Oh my God, there is no amount of like good I'll ever be where I won't want to hear that. Like no amount of success will never, will not make me want the approval of my peers. And I'm, you know, so I, I just just i remember him looking at me being like thank you yeah the other thing too is expecting someone

to congratulate you in the way that you want it and then if you don't get that then being disappointed in them but then also being like no you're they don't maybe they just don't know what the right way to congratulate you i don't you know what i mean does that make sense like like i got off stage that other night of whatever the spade night and brenna was like that was really good babe they were like a like a quiet audience and yeah and like she so didn't mean to be like mean no she's just used to like being honest and was like yeah they were like were still walking. They were just like, they laughed quiet. And I was like,

I thought it was hilarious. Yes. You know, it's just funny how people think you did amazing while also... Saying the wrong thing. Yeah. Or just not saying exactly what you want to hear. I tend to ask

for what I want now, as embarrassing as that is like especially in a relationship like telling it was really embarrassing for me to like tell chris like i need you to watch things and to be like wow you were great on that like i need you to do that like i today sent chris my schedule like my assistant jen sent me my entire like morning schedule of like and it was it's insane it was from 6 a.m until right now it was just I was doing a million different things and meetings and it's and I just looked at it this morning and I was like someone needs to bear witness to this besides me like I just need someone to go like I see you I know jen sees it like jen is like jesus christ what are they doing to you but i need and i i asked for this you know like i'm trying to get people to watch my show and

i'm doing what i can to do it and i'm grateful that i even have the opportunities a lot of networks that i've had shows on don't even promote my show and don't even give me the opportunity to promote it and so i just feel like i have to take all these opportunities that i've been given but um i set my i set my schedule to chris to be like can you just see this and just go like wow it's the same way i feel about gang bangs that i've always said like i never understand why they're all like fuck you bitch you fucking whore i'm like can some one person just go she is doing so much i just want people to acknowledge like how much things are sometimes because i'm always convinced that i'm not working

hard enough and it's never enough like to me i'm like okay so i all i did was talk all day and like look sit in a chair and put my have my makeup put on and like sit on a zoom call and have people who are writing jokes for me like get approved like to complain about that's so stupid but it was just nice to have him look at it and go yeah that's a lot just validate you it would be funny though if you were like is this enough and he's like yeah you stupid whore you you got nine interviews you dumb slut you're like okay this is this is better than i could ever imagine i do feel like my career is a gangbang that's what i always say like why do i like gangbangs and it's because i feel like the girl in them is multitasking so hard and like just is able to take on so much and i realized that like i i my career is a gang bang like i

have so many different you know in me there's something like different shows yeah i guess calming in a way of like doing 15 different things where you can't focus on one thing so much that it will like uh make you so insecure and so nervous because you're doing so many things now does that mean that the other things if you're doing so much are you not giving an a to everything that's where i get scared yeah or is it more interesting to give a b to 15 things rather than maybe an a or maybe an f because you're putting so much on one thing. You know what I mean? So it's like, I don't know. That's what I'm constantly trying to juggle is like, am I stretching myself too thin?

And then I know when I'm about to lose it and I'm not being funny anymore. And that hasn't happened yet. Because I've prioritized not doing stand-up at night and just going to bed earlier than I want to just so I can make it all work. But yeah, I'm doing Kelly Clarkson tomorrow, and I'll talk about that in a second after we take this quick break. Andrew! I'm here already. You know I'm here, dude. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year,

offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon.

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I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was doing. She was like, oh dad, all they was doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And slumflower.

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Hey, you guys. I'm Katherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm gearing up to make history, competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events, starting at the Indy 500. Join me as I travel from racetrack to racetrack in my quest to continue a memorable career in racing. I'm also going to bring you inside stories with legends of sports, new faces from the next generation of auto

racing, and conversations with the people who've supported me throughout my career. We'll be getting into everything from karting to NASCAR, even Formula One. Whether you dream about being a pro athlete or an astronaut, we're talking about what it takes to make it. Listen to Throttle Therapy with Catherine Legge, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. So I'm doing Kelly Clarkson tomorrow, and it's the second time I'm doing it

in a fairly short amount of time. I think I did it the first time in... Yeah, with Machine Gun Kelly, with Madison Square... Madison... Whoa, I thought it was going to be MSG. You know what? Machine Gun Kelly, yeah. Sleep more tonight. You know what? Maybe sleep more tonight.

I know I'm doing it tomorrow. Kelly Clarkson tomorrow. And I think usually before one of these appearances where it's like a big deal, I would, I would overthink it. And there is something nice about having so many things that I'm just going into it.

Like it's just another thing. And when I'm working this hard, I'm great because I'm getting so many reps in. that I'm just going into it. Like it's just another thing. And when I'm working this hard, I'm great because I'm getting so many reps in. Like I'm good at doing press right now. Who else is on the show? I don't know yet. Oh, actually I do know Dr. Phil. And we're also doing like,

it's going to air during the Kentucky Derby. So we're going to wear like Kentucky Derby hats and like have a segment where we're doing some kind of like, think i'm gonna ask dr phil for some advice i'm going to show a clip um where i peed in the ocean when i was in cabo and i was talking about like don't fake like you're like looking at the sunset just like squat and pee and get it done so there's gonna be a little like fun elements and kelly's just like so real and nice and um i had a good time the last time and i'm excited to like wear something last time i and I'm excited to wear something. Last time, I tried to style myself,

and it was a big fail, so I'm excited to wear something cute this time. It would be funny if you dressed like the... What was that girl that got so famous off of Dr. Phil? Oh, that Catch Me Outside. Yeah, Catch Me... Oh, my God. You're like, yeah, I'm going to go derby,

and then you just show up and catch me outside. She blew up, though. She really did turn that into... She did. I think it's like bad Barbie or something. Yeah, I'm going to go derby and then you just show up and sketch me on site. She blew up though. She really did turn that into like. She did. I don't know. Do you know how famous? She's like insanely famous. Right now even?

Yeah, even right now. It's so funny how famous people can be and I have no idea of anything they're doing. Yeah. I just, I don't, I don't know. Yeah, I was talking about that like on that DM thing. Which one? Oh, no, there's like bad bunny, you know. Yeah, I was talking about that. That DM thing. Which one? Oh, no. There's Bad Bunny. The DM show I was talking about, they were

asking me, it was called Slide or Scroll. Would I slide into their DMs or would I keep scrolling? I was like, I don't know any of these people you're presenting. It made me realize there have been times that people slide in. There was someone recently that slid into my DMms and i go andrew who is this guy

because i he was in pictures with like some like mma guys and like some like logan paulish people and i was like um his name is jeff like he just goes at jeff widdick i think yeah and i'm doing his podcast he's hilarious and like he just he watched my was like, dude, you're killing us right now. You can tell he's just stoned with a bunch of his friends. Like, I should have this girl on my podcast. She's going to roast me, dude. And so he DM'd me being like, you got to do my podcast. So I'm going to do his podcast.

It's called Jeff FM. Like Jeff FM. And so I'm going to do that. But he had so many followers. And I go, who the hell is this? It's just there's so many famous people. He's a David Dobrik guy. Yes. David Dobrik

hit him with like a, they did some kind of stunt and he got really hurt. Oh my god really? I'll do my research before I go on. The other day I go, he texted me and I was like what is what do you do? I literally go,

what is your podcast that I agreed to? I don't even know his last name still. Jeff FM. Yeah, these guys can have like 30 million followers

and you're like, who, what's the average age of the follower of these people? I kind of want to know sometimes. Yeah,

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. And they all care about like their relationships they're like can you believe fucking chesters with fucking valerie i'm just a little bit too they don't even do anything yeah oh i'm just i i really do kind of regret not being of like the youtuber generation of like fault like having crushes on guys that had little youtube shows like these girls like love these these guys that were actually attainable

because they're YouTubers and were living in the Midwest. I think there's something cute about it. Have you ever heard of Mr. Beast? No. So he's the biggest person on YouTube. He was on Rogan not too long ago, and he did a Squid Games reenactment maybe you heard it about that he did on youtube like almost like just as good as squid games like he he puts millions of

dollars backs back into his videos right like their whole thing is like oh he really gets back they don't well yeah fucking tom shoes yeah he just he takes the money he makes from his videos and he puts it back into the production. Oh, whoa, like a production? Like a business? But he drives a shitty car, Nikki. My point is, all these people don't want to be on TV. They just want to be big on YouTube.

That's all they care about. Of course they want to be on TV. I don't think they do. I don't think they do. I will say that i had my first tv show when youtube stars were first starting to be like bigger than tv stars and i remember there was a big push to like we gotta have youtubers on like because then we'll get the youtubers to watch mtv and it doesn't work that way they don't translate to tv don't you think it's different

some of them do i mean talent's talent but i will say that like yeah it's just a different honestly more people watch youtube there's no denying that than like tv a lot of times but there is still there's you know there's not emmys for youtubes there just aren't yet yeah i guess what were they called there was some kind of award for you the two piece i know that's another platform but uh yeah there's the squid game that has been watched by more subscribers than netflix has you know what i mean yes like kind of puts it in perspective nor mcdonald did that youtube award show that oh If you haven't seen it. That is so funny. That guy on there that is the co-host. Oh, my God. One of the most cringy dudes I've ever heard.

And I feel really bad for him because he was just trying to go toe-to-toe with someone like Norm MacDonald, which is just, don't even try. Don't be doing the, you know, break an audience's leg. Just let it be natural. Like like don't try to make jokes back adam i mean what do you do there do you just do you just shut up and just play straight man yeah you just laugh you do what what's his name does adam um norm's old like co-host and you just set him up you know your place when i am with david spade i am not trying to be the quirky quippy one like it's okay to take a back seat sometimes even if you are

known for being funny like i i don't know i mean you can go you can you can have fun but like to try to like rose this guy was trying to roast norm he's getting mad too so yes i know it was so uncomfortable it's giving it's making me like it's just making me twist in my own seat norm is on there he's in like a shitty hoodie he doesn't give a fuck and this guy has on like glasses that are probably not even prescription like in a tuxedo like he just i mean it made a great television though seeing the opposites but yeah i guess you can't 10 years later Yeah, 10 years later, watch it. And Jenny Slate is on it. Today, I was having that kind of moment.

I'm doing these shows every day. If you want to tune in, Daily Pop and Nightly Pop on E. And Daily Pop is live, and then Nightly Pop is not live. But today, live on Daily Pop. They were talking about like- I just keep hearing this in the NSYNC voice. I can't. Daily Pop, Daily, daily, daily pop.

Nikki went to L.A. She's doing press for six hours a day. She don't know why she agreed to it, because she's kind of built that way. She's going on TV and talking about celebrities. A lot of them she doesn't know, and the other one she just nods along. Doesn't matter if Nikki wears tanner or she's pale. It doesn't know and the other one she just nods along doesn't matter if Nikki wears tanner

or she's pale it doesn't matter that song I loved it so much we never talked about that song but we sing that song all the time once it's in your head you can't stop we were obsessed with it in high school Kirsten and all my friends and I and we used to go it's the song

if you don't know is Dirty Pop and I recommend everyone listening used to go, the song, if you don't know, is Dirty Pop, and I recommend everyone listening to it because at the very end, he goes, Dirty Pop, and it's like pop, and it's like, but the Dirty Pop, Kirsten did this one thing one time when she called me,

and she was like, I remember I was going out of town to France with my parents, and I was gone for like 10 days, and she was like, here's a dirty for every day you're gone. Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty for every day you're gone dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty pop so it's so funny just so good so i always

think of like here's a dirty for every time daily daily daily daily so today i was doing and um we were talking about Gigi Hadid. And they were like, there's a new skincare regimen that Gigi is the face of. Putting your face in a bowl of ice water. And I was like, yeah, that's a good way to get down the swelling after you've had many surgeries that you're not being honest about. And it was just kind of like crickets. Honest, honest, honest pop.

It was just like, we're not going to talk. And I was like, oh, are we not allowed to call call like he is supposed to celebrate celebrities and i understand that but and i'm not judging her by doing that what i'm judging is like not being honest about it and um like i'm not going to just buy that gg hadid like that's her secret is dumping her face in a thing of ice water that does not make your your uh you know scalpels in it yeah and a doctor a little

doctor is in there daily pop let's get to the news a doctor pop you heard it here first yeah you heard it here first it's Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday pop sounds like a off brand Dr. Pop sounds like a off-brand Dr. Pepper. Yeah, Dr. Popper.

Yeah, like from Sam's Club. Dr. Popper. So it's Wednesday, folks. You know what that means? It's Wednesday, day after Tuesday, first day before Thursday. Hope you're having all the swells out there. And by all the swells, I mean the swelling in your face from getting that new Gigi Hadid cream. All right, back to you, Noah.

A father and daughter from Chicago were struck by lightning as they were heading to their car. What? You brought that up earlier. I know. Wow. And there's two stories here that you brought up. Heading to their car from Steinbrenner Field in Tampa after the baseball game they came to watch got cut short because of weather conditions. Here's what happened from the daughter's perspective. There was a big bright flash

and a loud boom and next thing I know my ears are ringing. I see my dad flying in the air, smacking his head on the ground and I am flying through the air. I actually got blasted out of my shoes and I landed on the pavement. for about 10 seconds I thought my dad was dead and I thought I was dying oh my god did the dad survive he did he was like a hundred percent paralyzed for a couple of seconds but after that he was able to move and this got the attention of the team they went to see which was the Yankees And they sent them autographs and tickets in Chicago. Okay, worth it. Wait, do you know that if you get struck by lightning,

you're more likely to get struck by lightning again? Like lightning knows? They always say lightning never strikes the same place twice. Like that's some kind of saying, but it actually like people that have been struck before are more likely to get struck again than other people i heard that the other day when i was listening on a conversation times right i think some guy has been struck seven times i know someone had died from getting struck by lightning in florida oh wait wasn't it like your teacher

yeah my teacher popped is that gonna be your segment story Is that going to be your segment story? Huh? Is that going to be your segment story? No, because I wasn't there, unfortunately. Okay. I can't tell the story. Sorry, guys. We have an upcoming segment where Andrew's going to tell a story, but it won't be that one.

Yeah, lightning is not something that I fear. I have a lot of irrational fears, but in my mom, I always remember being very scared of lightning. I do know that sometimes no one ever thinks they're going to get hit by lightning. You know what I mean? Like you always think like, oh, that's an obvious thing. But it happens very fast. And it happens sometimes when there's no rain. And it's like, you know, there's a lot of people.

It happens on the golf course a lot, I think, is a common place. Well, a tree could get struck and then that will get you. So that doesn't help. Also, you're carrying around metal. I forget what you're supposed to do. There was something I just learned. No, I think you're supposed to like put, you're supposed to bend your,

like you're supposed to crouch in a way where your soles of your shoes are the only things touching the, like there's some way to touch the ground. I mean, there's, can we look up how to, if you get hit by lightning, what to do?

Well, when she got struck, the woman, it wasn't, it wasn't storm, like the storm was far away. Like it didn't make sense. Like at that point,

you're just like, okay, it's your time to go. I mean, yeah. Well, I do know this. If you're ever in a tornado and you're driving,

do not go under a bridge. And I know you think that's like, that would be the best place to go if you're like an overpass but those become wind vortexes and all the debris and the most violent like debris that's like shooting through is gonna go through that bridge and the best thing to do is get out of your car i know this is wild get out of your car and go lay flat in a ditch like in the grass and lay flat which I don't even know if I'd be able to do that.

You know what I mean? Where they say, like, punch a shark in the face, or like, when a bear is attacking you, just come at it, like do the opposite. Like, that seems like

I would just go, no, it's not gonna work. I can't believe that would work. I can't do it. Yeah, I would never be able to, in a second of time. In an earthquake, do not go outside.

What? Really? Even if you go away from the building? No, because it's like falling trees and buildings. Do not go outside in an earthquake. Literally stay inside. Find a doorway or under a table. Noah, what do you do in lightning? All right.

Crouch down in a ball-like position with your head tucked and hands over your ears so that you are down low with minimal contact with the ground. And that's from the CDC. Okay. Well, that's good to know. Alright. I trust the CDC even though most people don't anymore. But I, there was something that I

think I actually did a had an Instagram where I, or sorry, a Reddit that I saved that was like, uh, I follow the subreddit called cool guides, guides, G U I D E S. And it was like,

what about getting struck by lightning on a golf course? And I was going to send it to you because I was scared that you might die. And then I did it because I, you know, got distracted by something and I was like, Oh, he'll, he'll be fine.

Um, let's, what's the next news story? You almost saved my life, dude. I know. Isn't that nice of me to almost do that? It means a lot that you like almost did that. Yeah.

Well, I'm thinking of you and then I stopped. Oh wait, here it is. Here it is. How to survive a lightning strike. Found it. Okay. So this is the interesting part. Crouch down like a baseball catcher.

Get as low as you can. Um, and then the thing that I liked was touch the heels of your feet together. So when you're crouched down, touch the heels of your feet together. If electricity from a ground strike enters through your feet, this increases the chances of the electricity going in one foot and out of the other, rather into

the rest of your body. So it might just go back into the ground as opposed to... Maybe if I crouched down too, my hemorrhoid would save me I would get the roid and not get what if it was straight yeah I would light that thing up and it would just burn it off oh god and it would have

flaps they put on the back of cars to keep from getting static electricity I wonder if like when you got shocked we would see the little skeleton inside the hemorrhoid you know how like when you got shocked, we would see the little skeleton inside the hemorrhoid. You know how like when you get electrocuted, you see your skeleton? Does that happen? I heard there's a little guy in there. Next story. Yeah, there's a little guy.

Right, Davidson to Dirty Pop. Dirty Hemorrhoid Pop. Sexual health experts say that we need to stop using the term G-spot because it's actually a zone made up of five erotogenic regions okay so it should be spots i don't know what's going on here like what's the

problem here that's my i think uh kylie jenner is dating him um i don't know okay so they say there's say there's no single spot. It's five separate erotogenic tissues that perform the pleasure sensations ascribed to the G-spot. Aim small, miss small. That's what I say. What did you say? Aim small, miss small? Yeah.

If you're aiming for one little spot and then you have five zones around that spot you're gonna get something yes that's why i always say like just go like all over and you'll hit something like really hard like instead of going like because the little like twinkling a bell yeah the um sports center music. SportsCenter clip. Wait. But G-spot, I think that's the squirt spot where they frack you with their finger. And I think that's what they're hitting back there. Because it's in the back. It's in the come hither motion.

That's where that zone is now that we're calling it the G-zone. Which is a new roller coaster coming to Six Flags Great America. Just think of like the ball zone. You know what I mean? I really, my newest erogenous zone that I'm so excited about that I had no idea is right behind my ear, like on my neck. Like right here, like whenever there's like a whispering or any kind of like tingling, it is like, I'm like one of those dogs with my legs shaking. I had no idea. It's so exciting to find out something new that you like.

And that really makes you like, I've just never had a guy like whisper back there, be behind. But that makes sense because most, you know, humans, when we would mate, we would do doggy style. And like,

that's where the guy would kind of, this head would be. And so it makes sense. It's like from behind. That's why my dad always has the grossest kind of like evolution like that's why this because we used to have sex this way and i'm just like i don't want to hear about the way we used to fuck dad like he always says that it's so the other day he did it luigi he's like he was telling someone he's like dogs like to be scratched straight male dogs like the they're like chest because and it calms them because that's what's being hit when they're humping when they're having sex is like that's what they're leaned up against the woman and that's the part that's being touched so it like i'm like so you're just like getting your dog

like all horned up when you pet it there even though i do pet luigi there all the time but it's not because i and my dad used to say that men love cleavage because humans used to have sex from behind and cleavage looks like a butt crack. And butt cracks make us turned on because that's what we're looking at when men are penetrating us. Or that's what they're looking at.

Does that check out? No, because how do you see the cleavage if you're from behind? Cleavage was not a thing when we all didn't wear bras. No, but how are you seeing the cleavage if you're behind a woman? It's a butt crack. The cleavage resembles a butt crack.

The butt crack is the thing they were seeing. Oh, I got you. Not while you're actually having sex. At a later date, like later in the day, you're like, holy shit, I've seen that ass. Yeah, you get horned up by cleavage because it looks like a butt crack that you would be looking at when your penis is inside someone.

So it like makes you go like, oh, like when girls put up their hair, guys always like get turned on because they think it means like a blow job or whatever. But it really just means I'm about to wash my face, wash all the cum off it. All right, we got to take a break and we'll come back with our new segment

that I can't wait for Andrew to introduce us to right after this. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can

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The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here.

If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade grade and i called to ask how i was doing she was like oh dad all he was doing was talking about your thing in class i ruined my baby's first day

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your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride, full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism,

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or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Let's do Why Do I Care really quickly. Why do I care? Why do I care?

Okay, what's happening? Nikki Glaser tour opener, Emile Joaquin to appear on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Cutie. Last night. Yes, last night. I'm guessing he killed because how could he not?

Would love you guys to go give that a watch to give just a hit and give it a thumbs up on YouTube. Go support our boy, Emile. So proud of him. wish i could be there um i got a text from seth herzog who is the you know warm-up act he also did the warm-up for my special and got to hang out with we hung out with seth all that night of my special taping and he got to know emile that night and they just sent me a selfie picture and i think he's taping it right now what time is it it's like literally three o'clock. Oh my god. It is

wait a second. I think they taped it at 4. Hold on. Let me just see. It's 6 o'clock there. The other day. What was it? Wait a second. Hold on. Let's see. It's he said the show starts at 5. So he just finished it. Oh my god. He's done. It's so exciting. I love to like think about like

all of his hard work is now just paid off like he's right now. He's having the best moment of his life like a hundred percent he's either doing a set right now and saying thank you good night um i just love that i love thinking about do you ever do that when people get like murdered or there's some like event and you go what was i doing and you know like the exact minute and you go what was i doing in that minute do you ever think that like when that tsunami hit they'll be like like whenever there's like um a plane crashed at 8 52 a.m i'll be like okay that was eastern time that means it was 6 52 where i was what was i doing at that moment do you not do that i do that with literally any time there is like a time stamp on something even the other night when the time

of when the actual thing happened where you were that day yeah i want to like don't like was i like wiping my ass when you know um i don't know i'm trying to like when elizabeth smart was found or something like i really think about yeah i love when there's like a specific minute when things happen or like a mass shooting started like the other day i was reading about a mass shooting and that started and they were like, the shooting started at, um,

1152. And I was like, what was I doing? And I was like, Oh my God, I was like waking up and going like, Oh, I don't want today to start.

And I was like, how crazy that I was just like kind of blearily walking to the bathroom when someone was like, Oh my God, he's coming. Like, I think about that stuff all the time. You were probably like that too after you've held your shit for six weeks. Oh my God, it still hasn't come.

Did you shit yet, by the way? No, no, no. It's still in there. You think you're going to shit before the ring comes off? Oh my God, maybe it's the ring that's stopping it up. Maybe there's a ring. What if my asshole has turned into the ring, the tightness level, and nothing can get through?

Wait, can I ask you? You saw your... The people that dressed you for that. Yeah. Did they want to help you take the ring off? No.

It was actually their assistant. I told them about it, but they were just like, it's fine. It's whatever. So it's just... It's staying on. It's the biggest commitment

I've ever had in my life. It's still on, and it's been on since... since wait when did we tape the finale for perfect strangers march 8th so it's going on a month you know when people put rings around their neck and then their neck gets longer yeah i don't need that for my finger it's long enough that's what i'm saying i wonder if your finger is getting a little longer than yeah and when that finger is longer than your pointer finger it means you might be a lesbian That's not confirmed But it often is when girls have a longer That finger than the pointer finger That means they might be gay

Because most men have that and it means a lot of testosterone Or something I don't understand Let's get to the new segment Andrew let's find out what the segment's called And I can't wait Andrew's Succinct Short Story Circle Segment. That's right.

It's time for Andrew's Succinct Short Story Circle Segment. Andrew has a lot of stories. Yeah, we wanted a place to put all of your great stories that you have accrued in your long, illustrious life that is coming to a close and we want to celebrate you.

So any day now, I'm trying to think like, no, I really liked that because it was so true, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Hey man,

that's what I meant by going out, not on top. You know what I mean? You know, like at least I'm going out towards the bottom waiting for a trust fund, you top. You know what I mean? At least I'm going out towards the bottom waiting for a trust fund. You know what I mean? Let's not get too honest here.

What story are you going to regale us with today? You're going to get sad. I don't think I've told this story on here, but I think I've told you in person, Nikki. So pretend like maybe i like to hear your stories again it's a good way to like remember them so i can pass them on when you are gone pretty soon yeah so yeah i mean just remember this story and i'll remember the name of wilco and uh or whatever so uh dirty pop um so i i was. I want Dirty Pop at my funeral. A dirty for every day you were alive.

And it's 37 dirties. Okay. Dirty pop. Dirty pop. That reminds me of that Bill Withers song, or Bruce Withers. Bill Withers? Oh, yeah. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Okay, okay. So that's the story.

Do we still have listeners? What I wanted to do was get rid of all our listeners before you get your own segment. Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. No, what's your story? Sorry. No, so I was in, I think think eighth or ninth grade and my best friend in middle school or freshman year whatever his dad always had weed and like stalks of i'm talking

like and it was always in the garage and it was above like it was in an area where you didn't think anyone would look but everyone would look you know what i mean like you know when people hide things in a way of like, also we could probably smell it. It's probably hanging out at a rafter. You know what I mean? Like, it was so much weed. It was like an insane amount of weed.

Now, were you doing weed at this point or drinking or doing anything like, or was this your first foray into that? We haven't bought. I don't think any of us at that point has bought weed. Why would you buy it if your friend's dad is growing it in like cornfields? That makes sense. Yeah, I agree. Okay, so this was the first time you were like, let's steal it from your dad.

Yeah, and we wouldn't, well, no, we did it multiple times because we could take literally an ounce and he'd have no, he'd be like, oh, I think I have more weed in here. Yeah, that's the thing about potheads. That's how much weed was in. They don't keep track of things either. Yeah, yeah. So we, so we steal So we keep stealing the weed. We keep stealing the weed.

We're not caught. And whatever. I say all this to go, we were at a party, and it was out by the river. That's what you do in Florida. You party out by the river. And we're in a field in a river in a gated community where a multimillion-dollar house hasn't gone up yet. It's right out of like the oc like we're just partying we think we're cool having a couple brewskis and sorry

this is middle school no this is like ninth grade okay ninth or so totally some people were driving yeah yeah so i'm a junior in college and so you know i're an eighth grader. I started growing gray hair on my balls just then. It was weird. Maybe it was 10th grade. I wasn't driving yet. I know I wasn't driving yet, and I'll tell you why. I was probably 15.

I'm going 15 here. Permit. Yeah, dude. Permit, dude. I was 5'3 on that permit. You hadn't got your driver's license yet. Because you failed that test three times. So we're at this party

and we're fucking, you know, I'm doing my thing. Probably got like a letterman jacket on. And you know, just fucking, just chilling. And the cops come. We see the cop. One cop. And I don't even know. I don't think he was the security cop. We see the cop, one cop. And I don't even know, I don't think he was like the security cop.

He was a cop cop. And I fucking freaked out. I didn't know what to do. Everyone was fucking, people started running. And so I just, I had cigarettes on me and I threw the cigarettes on. Oh my God. I threw a cigarette pack.

To be fair, you weren't allowed to have cigarettes. You're 15. That's an 18-year-old purchase. But can you have them at that age? I don't know. I don't think so, but I'm sure he would have looked the other way. But, okay, you threw the cigarettes. I threw a cigarette pack underneath an Explorer.

I still remember it. I remember that. And my buddy's like, did you just throw a cigarette? I just remember him looking at me going, did you just throw a cigarette? Like right before the cop came. I was like, dude, I was like, yeah, man, I'm nervous. You know, he's like, what are you getting rid of the fucking contraband? And I was like, okay, dude.

Okay, whatever. So then the cop comes. I have two of my buddies jump the seawall. It's so Florida. Swim in the river, risking their lives with alligators and swim like a mile away the cop wasn't gonna we were all like private rich kid like this cop was probably just gonna be like yeah oh my god like you just run though because you're so afraid it's kind of like what you're saying with the bridge thing with the tornado they went under the bridge so they ran

they're swimming away they swam like a mile and a half like they like lived on an island for a year they grew a beard out you know they changed their whole life so they're so um no so they swim away and uh the cop ends up like yeah you guys can't party here also did someone throw cigarettes i was like so the cop like goes to where you're hiding like after you run the cop finds you did you're hiding. After you run, the cop finds you? Did they chase you? No, I didn't run. I didn't run.

I just threw cigarettes and sat there. You just stayed and threw the cigarettes. My friends ran. They ran. Did you also throw the sugar you had, the candy you had got earlier that day? What about the comic books and that picture of the girl with the big boobs you drew hey man you don't know what the cops are gonna get you for back then you were like i cussed an hour ago fuck i hope he didn't hear that that's so funny you say that because that's actually

setting up the next part of the story so my friends they, they swim away. I finally like, I ended up passing out at one of the kids' houses by the party because the kid that I was supposed to go home with is the one that ran and swam. So I get to his house

the next morning and it's the kid whose dad we steal the weed from. So he's inside. So you guys don't know if these kids survived or not? No, no. He was one of the kids

that swam, that swam away so those the guys came back though eventually those swimmers yeah eventually they came back were the cops like um we have to go searching for their bodies now like were they alarmed that they swam off or did they not care they're not calling the boat cops on okay kids they just are like they're probably laughing at these they're i mean i'm mad it's like a mclovin situation oh oh yeah that's actually a good point. Maybe they're worried about them drowning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess so. Doesn't seem like it. Okay. Not in Florida. Everyone can swim early. So, you know, they're riding a manatee just chilling. So anyway, so then I get back to the house,

the house that we initially stole the weed from. And the kid's sitting there with his parents literally doing do you remember um what's the movie with slick shoes where they try to find uh oh fuck um what's the i don't know this reference isn't even lighting up anything in my head dude i i know you've seen this movie goonies remember i don't i know goonies but i've never seen it okay so there's this kid in goonies who gets in trouble and he ends up they go tell us everything everything and he goes in third grade i still is literally what you were just talking about yeah i stole a twinkie from mrs so my buddy's doing that i walk into him telling his parents every bad thing we've done our whole childhood because he ran away from

the car oh my god now mind you i can't give away too much info uh i can't give away that but i'll tell you that off air but so then the mom is like reprimanding us and the dad he's the one whose weed we stole he's pretending like he cares but he can't he has no argument because his eyes are red and it's his weed so he's just going oh like like just making noises right yes and my buddy's spilling all the beans everything saying everything we've done bad since fifth grade my mom comes to pick me up and i just remember the my friend's mom going you're you know you our sons have been smoking a pot and my mom i just remember like she wouldn't have really cared but you gotta like of course but she has to pretend because the parents are expecting her to and our moms care more about

what other parents think than actually doing what they i was like mom you just drove an hour you just drove an hour drunk to pick me up. Like, you hit, like, four kids. My parents had the same thing happen. So then she looks at me, and it gets real quiet, and she goes, you smoked marijuana. Like, it was the most parent-y, parent, parent thing you can do.

And you were just like, cool, mom. Yeah, who is this lady? Yeah, who the hell? Oh, what, are you going to ground me? You don't even know where my room is. So... You come out of your room, mom. And maybe I'll go to mine stop grounding

yourself mom with the wine you drink on the rocks hilarious holy shit so anyhow so I end up having to ride back home with my and like we still stole weed from him like that didn't stop.

So anyways, but that was a fun little high school. Parents were the ones that got upset and like told your mom. Those seem like the cool parents. Any parents that are growing weed, aren't they the ones that are like, we'll let you do it if it's in front of us. Like aren't they the cool? They were somewhat cool, but they, you know, there's just peer pressure there. Now the dad who was the biggest fucking deadhead you would ever meet,

like was crying when Jerry Garcia died, followed the dead, is the biggest fucking Trumper you'd ever meet now. And it's just like capitalism and living in a small town like that where a lot of people are Trump heads, you forget about how you used to fucking drop lsd and hang with fucking jerry garcia and fucking roll around in grass and be naked in the mud and now it's like no i want to fucking sit on a golden chair and listen to a guy that's never even fucking had a drink or smoked you know i mean like yeah i don't know what's happening but

anyhow that was a fun high school story that made me think i love it final thought it really reminds me of a couple things actually the first time i got caught drinking to my parents they you know my friend's parents like drove me and kirsten to my parents house which is in the same neighborhood and was like we caught the girls drinking over at our house and my parents were you drinking though where did you get the alcohol we stole beer from the from her parents garage and we were just like up in her room like chugging beer chugging wine like whatever you just what schnapps whatever you can find and it's so gross and i remember the boys sprinted away and i just remember we were outside we had drank in her bedroom we were keeping it all like in this trunk and then we went outside in our front yard it was like kind of twilight and there were like boys that came up to like meet us and it was

freshman year and i remember the garage her garage door slowly opening and her dad was just standing there with our with the booze just like busted ladies and he was just slowly revealed like it was being downloaded you know like in 1998 with like a bad modem and he was just slowly revealed like it was being downloaded you know like in 1998 with like a bad modem and he was just appearing slowly and then they drove us home to my parents knocked on the door and i remember like kind of expecting my parents to be a little upset but they were mainly they were just like get in here like what do you they didn't care i always i obeyed my parents because and i wasn't a bad kid who did stuff not because i didn't know my parents were not gonna punish me for stuff because they weren't

they allowed me to make mistakes but i just did it because i just knew i for whatever reason my parents i thought they potentially could even though when they did dole out like go to your room i followed it and i was scared of them but i they still never really followed through with any punishment like i used to have really big crying fits and they would be super embarrassed by them and say the way you're acting right now if this continues you are not you're not gonna go to six flags not only are you not gonna go tonight to the thing you're crying about you're not gonna and then i'd go and i was just like i mean i'm an adult nearly an adult woman throwing herself on the floor and just i just remember them yeah like one night i remember when i was like maybe five i threw a fit in um a convenience

store my mom i was on the floor sobbing crying because my mom was like let's pick out a comic book and i wanted to get the barbie one and she was like let's get batman for your dad he'll love that and i just started crying instantly and she was like well then we're definitely not getting barbie like you're not gonna win this and i remember just feeling so helpless like there's no way i can get this barbie thing and the only what the only thing to do is to just double down on the thing i've just started because i've already embarrassed myself in front of my mom she's like in front of other people and i just fell to the ground screaming, crying.

And I remember, I remember being humiliated by it and her finally like picking me up and pulling me out. And then I went home and she was like, you're going to bed. You're going to your room. And I, it never happened before I went to my room.

And I remember my dad bringing my dinner on a plate, like to my room and like being like, you have to eat in your room. And I remember it was fried chicken. You're like in solid care. Yeah. And I remember being like, I'm not going to eat room. I remember it was fried chicken. You're like in solitary. I remember being like, I'm not going to eat this because I'm going to show them that if they don't let me do it the way I want to, I'm not going to.

Then I was really hungry and I was like, fine. Then you did that for four years. Then I was like, I'm never going to eat again. I'll show you mom and dad. Something that really made me sad that it reminded me of was there was this comedian brett clausen in st louis when i started so funny one of like the guys that like he was probably

like in his mid to late 20s but he seemed so much older to me but he was just one of those guys that a comics comic like oh my god that's the guy everyone wants to be and he had put out an album and he was having little successes but um he was just a guy that like drank a lot and had like just a problem with alcohol even though he was so nice and so he really reminded me of jesse camp remember him who won the um vj contest very lanky funny like kind he was he got pulled over for like a duI and he ran from the cops and he jumped over what he thought was like a guardrail thing. And it was a like two story drop onto concrete and he was in a coma and then he died and it was all because he was trying to run from the cops.

So the lesson here is don't run from the fucking cops. Um, I think that's a lesson, right? I didn't see the story going. I know it was so fucking sad and he he hung what time was this at i'm trying to think where i was oh my god you were throwing cigarettes underneath a fucking forward explorer they're part of the mid lights dude that's six to seven

hours in the clank it was so tragic it was there was like a sweep there was like a lot of like bad things that right after brett's death this was a funny bone comedian in st louis another funny bone comedian named keith sissel it was the night before i was moving to new york um i had moved back home after i did the tonight show i moved back home to st louis and i was just biding my time until i saved up enough money to move to new york and it was the night before i was leaving to go to new york and i remember i went to the funny bone for like one last hang with all the comics and that night i like said goodbye to keith he was like really drunk and i remember like giving him a hug and then he left and then my friend josh left behind

him josh arnold and then we got a call that keith right outside the funny bone like on getting on the highway was uh josh came up was the first person on the scene to his scene. He, I don't think, was wearing a seatbelt and he nearly died, like probably should have died and he lost his ear, but now he does comedy again and he like talks about not having an ear, but like we were like, oh my God,

tragedy keeps striking and it was always like kind of a drunk driving incident. So be careful out there and Dirty Pop, Dirty, Dirty, Dirty Pop. Dirty Pop. Dirty, Dirty, Dirty Pop. Don't be cool. And Jack Dirty Pop. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show

is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season but you know i don't want any of

you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far i mean we talked to amyree johnny marr e jonathan sheckner billy porter and so many more look if you haven't heard these episodes yet hey now's your chance you gotta check them out listen to quest love supreme on the iheart radio app apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast. Thank you. questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and

conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships, and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network,

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