The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #200 Fanthrax Only

Episode Date: April 8, 2022

Andrew is so excited for the PGA Masters tour that it inspired a green ensemble. Nikki is not so impressed with the name but enjoys the men speaking in hush tones. They discuss yelling and arguing styles. Nikki shares a tip she gave her buddy Emil Wakim before he went on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. In the Fanthrax part of the show, Besties share their collection of co'uhls, an old screen name and some funny mispronunciations. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's Nikki Glaser. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast.

Welcome to the show. It's Thursday. We are wearing all green today for what reason? I don't know. Andrew and I both showed up wearing green, and we decided that Noah should go put on some green, too. And that's what she did. That's what kind of show this is. Andrew, you're wearing like an entire Masters uniform. I am. Like the golf tournament.

It's the Masters weekend. What happened here? Did someone send you this? It's the Masters weekend this weekend. My mom got me both these clothes. Interesting fact, my mom has had Masters tickets for the last 20 years. I don't know the exact details of it,

but she won a raffle like 20 years ago, and we just found out 20 years later that we've had Masters tickets. A lifetime supply of Masters tickets. Yeah. Why don't you go? It's a long story. master's tickets yeah why don't you go it's a long actually i probably can't it's a long story but like the people that also were in so i believe her friends signed themselves up for this uh raffle right to win master ticket then they go hey can we double

up and have you go in with us we We'll sign your name up just to see. Maybe it'll give us more of a chance to win. And then she won. And then the people were like, that's... Those are our tickets, but she won. It's like when you tip a lottery ticket, and if the person wins, the person's like, actually, I bought it.

That was just... Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? Exactly. I used to love that movie where Nicolas Cage tips the lottery ticket, and then the waitress wins. It could happen to you. I think it's called – oh, my God, it was so good.

I loved rom-coms between 1995 and 1999. Why is this very – the name The Masters – Not good, yeah. Not great. Not great. Just when it's a sport that really seems like very white, you know? Yeah. Also, I kind of like, you're just a master of something.

That could make sense. I guess that's more of what it's about. They're like, no, it's actually about a slave owner. They're like, yeah, no, that's like, the slaves built the course. What is the Masters for someone who doesn't know? It's like the number one tournament, isn't it? It's where golfers get together and make fun of black people. And then sometimes.

Is Tiger Woods playing it? No, what is it really? No, it's like. Yeah, is he? Yes, so Tiger got in the car wreck. We all know that. And he played with his son in a father-son tournament earlier where he was hitting decent.

No one really knew if he'd come back to full-on competition. And people tracked his airplane from Jupiter, Florida to Augusta, Georgia. So he's at the Masters. He's at the Masters right now. Is he playing? We do not know yet. He has not agreed. It's like people think he's definitely playing.

Yeah, why would he? You would never go to Augusta unless you were playing in the Masters. It's the worst place ever. It's the worst town I've ever been to. I guess his argument is he doesn't want to play unless he feels like he can win. That's what people are thinking. So unless he really feels like he can win, he's not going to play. But isn't that everyone?

Who would play if they didn't think they were going to win? Someone that hasn't won 20 times already. Oh, just to maybe make a splash. Yeah, I get it. You don't want to be embarrassed, I guess. I mean, is he ready?

I don't know. Like Tom Brady coming back. Well, that was so, so like how many people saw, I feel like I saw that coming. Like it's like the share reunion, like the farewell tour.

She has like so many of them. People are allowed to second guess when they quit, but it just seems, I don't, I really liked Tom Brady going out being like, I'm going out as the greatest. Like the way Seinfeld did, where I'm going out when I want to go out, not when people are tired of me.

Yes, but I think Tom Brady isn't... It's so hard to turn that down now. He's not there yet. He's not... He's still got stuff in him. He's not declining. His numbers are just as good, if not better. But you want to go before you even start to decline even a little smidge.

You want to go out sincerely on top instead of like, oh, did he have? He didn't go to the Super Bowl. He didn't have the best season possible. He probably wants to go out on the Super Bowl, wouldn't you think? Well, he won the Super Bowl the year before. I know, but his last season, don't you think he probably is aiming... It just didn't feel as complete this time?

I just think he thinks he has more left in him. I just think... I don't know. I think he likes to compete. I think he went home with his family and his kid tried to kiss him. He's like, I'm going back. His kid was like, this is what you wanted, Dad? Well, now you're 14 he's like i'd rather

go hit get hit by a 350 pound lineman than make out with you boy that's what he said yeah well so you're gearing up for the masters you're very excited about it i you're gonna watch it so obsessed you know me i'm absolutely obsessed with golf right now and the masters is you know a lot of a lot of tournament golf tournaments they go to different courses you know what i mean like so it's like it's kind of cool a change of scenery whatever this is always the same it's always the same it's always constant is the golf course why don't people just play that all year long to get ready for it and never do anything else so that they can just be better than anyone else who's paying all the other ones that's a good point so you know all the ins and outs of just one court you put it all on one course yes but

that's like what we were talking about last episode instead of getting a b and every also you'd make way less money but there's a lot of reasons why you want it but i get what you're saying there are people that do play it considerably more times. Is it the number one one, though? Or is there like, there's the PGA. So the PGA, the US Open, the British Open, PGA Championship, and the Masters are the four top. Oh, my God. It just reminds me of soft-spoken men. And he's teeing up at, and his stride is really looking good today. And it's beautiful weather.

And then people are like, oh! Light clap. Yeah, yeah. One guy going, baba booey! But it always just reminds me of ASMR. Very gentle men speaking in hushed tones. And, you know, just commenting on things very quietly. Even though they're in a room like far away where they could be like,

Eddie's teeing up! Eddie's swinging! Like they're not right there. They could definitely talk at a full volume right yeah even when there's a huge chip in or a putt in they keep it you know soccer announcers will scream goal like you know like they're getting robbed at gunpoint but uh yeah they just they're just like oh well there it is folks it went in the hole and everyone's losing their fucking mind out in the ground. I get it.

I guess, like, but I miss it. It is very soothing. Yeah. I mean, they could do anything. I mean, they could fucking tell me I have cancer, and I'd be like, this sounds nice. You got a tumor? ASMR cancer doctor. You got a tumor in your neck?

It's pretty big. Oh, getting back into asmr so big like i've been just watching massage videos that was my first foray into asmr was like i was just it was 2010 i've been doing asmr for over 10 years now or like i discovered the community and because it is a discovery like people that that have ASMR, you know, you know, as a child that you have something special, some weird thing. Everyone who has ASMR has the same story of like this feeling I got as a child. I knew what would trigger it, but I couldn't get it to like, I couldn't get people to like keep that going for me. And I couldn't really, I didn't know what to ask for to make that feeling happen again.

It feels like oddly sexual. And I remember I used to watch massage videos all the time because I was like, they were so soothing to me just because I wanted to have that massage. I was like kind of watching it. And then, but there was something other factor that was like making my head like buzz and feel like really like, oh, like numbing out. And then I remember just seeing a video that was tagged with ASMR and I was like what is ASMR and then oh boy did my world just like burst open and I was just actually that DM show that I was talking about yesterday that they were asking me about my DMs I was sharing one that Molly Shannon

from SNL slid into my DMs to like you know say I was funny and something it was like one of the best compliments I've ever gotten and she was one of the DMs to like, you know, say I was funny and something. It was like one of the best compliments I've ever gotten. And, um, she was one of the first celebrities to like come out about having ASMR. And I remember everyone was like, Polly Shannon has ASMR. And, um, and I just, it, it is a week. It was, it used, it's a lot more acceptable now, but in the beginning it was super, super weird. Yeah.

I cannot believe people like kind of, it's kind of mainstream now where if you don't have it, you at least maybe know about it or have heard of it. It's just a weird thing that I like to hear people talk softly. It makes me think of, I have a buddy and he disciplines his

kids and at times he'll yell. He'll scream at his kids. His wife was like like you can't you can't yell at the kids you're scaring not only that kid you're scaring the other kids you're scaring me and so he goes okay i won't yell anymore so now he if the kid does bad he'll be like you're gonna put that away and if you do that again there's gonna be really a lot of trouble for you and his wife was like go back to yelling i can't oh my god i can't have you you sound like it's so creepy it's like nails on a chalkboard it's so funny for me would you rather have a guy yelling at you

or go for it oh my god you're an asmr person too so it's like i don't know i don't know what what you would like more you know it is true though like i never got really i'm trying to think of like when i get yelled at now i get really it it just is not something that happened to me a lot as a kid like i know that a lot of people get communicated that way like my mom would like sometimes my parents would like get into arguments and it would get loud, but it was never like, it would only get yelly very seldomly. But I think that a lot of people just revert to this,

like to like shouting and screaming and it's very rattling. And I, I don't, I just feel so bad for people who don't know how to communicate and handle their emotions in other ways. It must be really scary because I've been overwhelmed with anger before and been like, I'm saying things and doing things and talking in a way that I cannot control.

It is out of my hands. And also like... My dad. I, yeah. Sorry, my dad, being from New York, they're just, you know New Yorkers, they're loud talkers. They're not yelling, they're just talking loud. They're constantly calling for a taxi.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in your kitchen, two feet away from you, telling you. Yeah, to pass the pepper. The pepper! The pepper! Yeah, like my dad could get an Uberber from 10 miles away but with just yelling yeah so so my dad he would like he would yell a lot like a lot like he was a he talked like like this like yeah yeah you

gotta like this kind of voice and one time i remember like i just gave it back like whatever i thought that volume was of his voice i gave it back to him he just goes hey why are you yelling i go dad you've been fucking yelling my whole life like like i was just like yes oh my god you had like a dawson's creek moment was that a dawson's creek like what i mean just like a yeah just a mini serious moment of like dad i learned it from you dad yeah yeah but it was just like, I was like, I don't know. You feel crazy. You feel like, not gaslit.

I hate the, I don't know why I don't like that word. But like, I'm not, I wasn't gaslit. But it was just like, you've been. No, you are because you were made. That word is tossed around a lot. But it does really define a thing that happens to a lot of us unintentionally. And we do it to others unintentionally of where you it is not the way you perceive things so you think that the way the person's saying they perceive it cannot be true and people just don't understand that people have different feelings

and different perceptions so just because the way you're talking doesn't seem like you have a tone to you i do get very upset though when people are like you're yelling and i'm like but to me i'm like it's hard to hear it's hard to hear yourself it really is like to really understand what you come across as and as someone who has like seen themselves not only in podcasts where i've kind of let it go or this reality show where it's like you see a side of yourself where you're like oh wow that's what i sound like it's you're not always aware of your tone but i do think yelling for me happens in arguments when i just feel like i'm not being heard i just don't understand people that start with a yell mine always escalates to a yell when it's like you're

just trying to get a word in because the other person and you just you want to be it's it's just two people wanting to be heard and i think that's why arguments so much benefit or like in a couple situation of like i am going to just shut up no matter what and let you talk until you're done like set a timer almost and then i'm going to talk and you have to listen until i'm done with no interruptions and then let's repeat back to each other what we just said yeah so that because we just want to be heard and not heard in a way that the person staring at the ground like shaking their head like like nodding along like you're not hearing me you're in your own thoughts now say back to me

what i just said to you because i want to know that you understood it and i think that's even if you disagree with what they're telling you i think i just feel like for me most men that i've dealt with i think the key to arguing with men and getting heard is letting them be heard because they men really want to be understood from what i glean they just want to see that you understand them just not interrupted you know like it's hard when you're trying to just say yeah i'm just kidding sorry no no no no i'm just but you don't you don't apparently you didn't hear what i said because what i was saying was what you did you know what i mean no no but yeah i said i feel like sometimes i'll yell if i don't have the vocabulary to be smart enough to speak in this

tone and get my point across. Sometimes you need emotion if you're too dumb for the words. Yes. And you need cuss words to fill in and then it becomes a lot more volatile but it's really because you don't have, you're just filling it in spaces where you don't have anything else to say.

But then it suddenly becomes very violent. Yeah, I feel like we only got in a fight where we were screaming at each other one time and it was that kind of thing of like yeah like i didn't want to listen to you you didn't want to listen to me so it was just like who can be louder so that we can get through to the other person and then it becomes wow neither of us are going to shut up enough to hear each other so i'm going to keep yelling as i leave and then slam the door so that it's hanging up. While you were still in the hallway. I was like, I'm going to yell one more time.

Yes. That doesn't even feel like our relationship anymore. Maybe because we were living together and it was a different kind of like it was just a different kind of energy. Yes. I don't know. I don't even know what we were fighting about.

That's the funny thing is like I, It started with the pizza. Most of the fights you get into, oh, the pizza. Oh my God. But it was pizza gate.

It was pizza gate. Pizza gate. And recycling. Yeah, it was. Well, pizza was like an epitome of like, you were telling me how to do the pizza

and I was like, the pizza, it's fine. I know what I'm doing with the pizza. I'm 41. Yes. You know, it was stupid. And I was like, the pizza, it's fine. I know what I'm doing with the pizza. I'm 41. Yes. And I was like,

and I was feeling frustrated because you were ignoring me on purpose when I was actually saying something helpful. But that was a response to me doing that too much. So you go the other way. It's like, we, we, it's just, but in the end, it's just but in the end it's just like it's just so funny that the things that you do think are so important that's stoicism like that's stoicism

baby like just thinking about the stuff when you are arriving at a a thing that you're like is just you know capturing your attention taking up all your thoughts something you're worried about something that you're regretting something that you're dreading what are the stoic practices that i'm reading about is that you think about in the future think about 10 years from now what this is going to look like and i know that seems very simple but i don't think we do that that often where we maybe take a similar problem that you had 10 years ago which you probably can't even come up with because you don't remember any problems that were that you had 10 years ago, which you probably can't even come up with because you don't remember any problems that you had 10 years ago. Because when you look at them from a distance or another way that they also do it is whatever thing you're struggling with, you imagine that your friend is struggling with it and you talk to yourself in third person, like giving advice.

And it just sounds so simple, duh yeah you know if it was but just doing these really dumb simple things of like you know whatever i'm worried about tomorrow like this weekend i'm like oh my god i have to fly to winnipeg and do a show and like be my best self because it's the first night of this tour i'm very excited about it then the next night i have to go to vancouver and like be excited and it's like i'm dreading on this flight and i, you know, what would I say to a friend that was like feeling stressed out about this? And I would say like, how cool is it that you even get to travel across Canada in one day?

It's the miracle of air travel, that Louis CK joke that you love. And also like, you're going to be very old someday and look back and be like, God, I wish I could still travel like that and lug around suitcases and was able bodied enough to sit on a plane for seven hours and that people were that excited to see me. And I had the ability to stay on stage for hours at a time. So, yeah, it just gets me out of it almost instantly. I feel like sometimes you could like think about think about like the one like there fans, right? In Winnipeg right now that can never see you. Yeah, just two. But just picture two.

Joe the plumber and Steve the barber. Oh my God, Joe the plumber. What a reference. So, no, but whatever. Vanessa the hairdresser. My point being is that there's people in winnipeg right now that have never got to see you live right imagine just being in their shoes of being like i gotta get my hair done i gotta get ready i'm gonna see my favorite comedian like this is my whole day i've been

thinking about this for i can't think about that because then i start freaking out that i can't live up to that like they're giving it too much. Then I start. My point being, though, is if you're feeling like, whatever, why is it even worth it? It is worth it. And yes, but I get that. I get the other side, too. I never think it's not worth it. I just have dread of it's going to be a long day of lines and feeling tired and really a lot of time to just ruminate about what I was just saying, which like oh no i haven't done stand-up in a while like what if i don't give these people the

show that they asked for like people are sometimes telling me how much they're paying for tickets and it just like i'm like oh no oh yeah no yeah that's the hairdresser is broke yes i'm like should i i need to like go down on these people or something extra like i just you know i i'm so grateful that i really i'm i'm just so grateful and that that really is it i gotta think about those people that i know how excited i get when i get to see my favorite performers and so it just feels awesome that i get to give that to some people um yeah so it's gonna be fun let's take a quick break and we're gonna come back with an all fan tracks. Rest of the episode. Right after this.

John Stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show, which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast. The daily show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors.

The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Real quick before we get to Fanthrax, I just got texts from Emile Joaquim. We are taping this on Tuesday, and he just did his set, and he said, dude, just taped.

It was so fun. Holy shit. Your tip about right before the curtain, just having that moment was so useful. I love you so much. Thank you for everything. So I told him, I said I said, thinking of you today, I wish I could be there. This is just the start of a long career for you. Have as much fun as possible and try to take a moment right before the curtain opens. When you get to stand alone by yourself for the first

time, like all day, it's the only time you're alone and not on stage. It's like you have this weird moment where they Mike you and they, you, they have to back away from you because the curtains get open it's just you by yourself and you're just behind the curtain and there's no one looking at you and you're just alone and it's it's just a chance to like reflect and and i said um and just bask in how cool this all is you are an incredible talent and this is the only the beginning um and so i'm so glad he i knew i mean i knew he would kill i'm so happy for him it's so fun to get to like yeah like have uh it's so nice to be able to give advice to someone i have to say about emile where he's 24 but he's really actually able to put it into practice like the fact that he actually did that behind the curtain and had that moment like he's just a very mature person for his

age I would have been like yeah whatever like I old veteran like telling me this thing like I'm gonna be nervous and I want to be nervous and that's how I'm gonna do it like I'm really into people who are open to trying it a different way or like are open to because some people are like I know what I'm like before set I'm nervous'm nervous. I'm going to be thinking about it all day. That's just the way I am. I get that. But like, like,

it's, it's just nice. I, I need to be more like that too, of like just being open to maybe thinking I don't have it all figured out and like just trying something new. And in that moment to try that, to have that,

uh, work is, is, is nice. It's an amazing thing to know that like, I still think about when Emil picked us up from the airport and drove us an hour to Bloomington. And just right away, like we went to Subway and just right away having a, we both like,

we really loved this kid. Like he really was like, so like he listened and he was so mature beyond like well beyond his years and then you gave him a guest set he did so well and i don't know there was just so many things of like okay like oh this kid he doesn't even just feel like another stand-up he just i don't know he feels like an old friend somehow and a young kid and i know and i was just so he really is such a yeah so i was really like when i when i i i've been like really like emotional about him like doing i don't doing these kind of things because like we live together too like i see our son like he is kind of our son like i live like on the road, I sleep next to this. Yeah. I freaking make love to this boy. You know?

You know what I mean? No, I didn't know that. But I'm glad that you're finally coming out about it. We gently kiss each other until the early morning. Okay, that's why he's not going on tour with us anymore. See, he said he was just wanting to work clubs but I didn't know it was because you were praying

no I wasn't praying on him don't put words in his mouth that he said don't put my penis in his mouth no but I really am no but you're right he is yeah it's awesome he's a special kid and like when we first met him I feel the same way it's it is so

funny to think of in any of your friendships i mean i think back to like the way you know we were talking about it on a couple episodes ago of just like how we all met and like the first time meeting and your first impressions and you know i just thought he was just another comic picking us up from the airport and he had on like like 60s like 50s doo-wop music and I was like, how old does he think we are? And he was just so conversational and so it's just there's some comics you meet that you're just like, this person

really is funny and cares about it, but that's the best part about comedy is like the friends I've made because I think it does attract really smart like emotional men and I think that that's why I love so many of the male friends that I've made through comedy is because you guys, you know,

as Pat Allen told me on the phone one, she was like, you know, I was worried about like, Oh my God, I'm masculine or I'm female. Like I'm feminine energy and I want to find, or I'm masculine energy and probably,

you know, cause I do stand up. That's what she said. And she was like, and I was like, Oh, I have a crush on this comedian at the time I did. And she was like, oh, well, that's fine because male comics are feminine energy. Because for a woman to do that, it takes masculine energy. For a man to do it, it's very emotional to do stand-up and to talk up there and, like, share yourself.

And I think that that's what I see in, like, Emile and you is, like, men who are willing to get a little bit deeper and talk about realer things. And I just like appreciate that so much. So let's get to Fanthrax. How funny would it be if he bombed? Like we're talking about this. He's like, it's so much fun. And then we watch the set. And we watched it.

We're like. They didn't laugh as loud as I thought. Oh, my God. All right. Before we get to Fanthrax, do you guys want to plug some tour dates? Yeah, let's plug some tour dates coming up we have texas next week starting on thursday i'm going to be in austin texas two shows at the paramount theater and then we are doing irving texas on friday night that is like houston area and then on saturday night irving is dallas oh sorry irving is dallas i'm so sorry about that and And then on Saturday, we will be in Houston,

Texas. And yeah, so it's a Texas week next week. And then I just announced I'm going on a little mini tour with Burt Kreischer this summer. And tickets are available. And Mark Norman and

other comedians, there's a video that came out. It's not out yet as we're taping this, but it's out now as you're hearing it and um it is called the fuck what is it called uh you can get tickets at one second hold on let me just look at this really quickly okay we're doing we're doing like stadiums and or like small stadiums uh amphitheaters and it is oh my, where is it? I'm so sorry. Bert Kreischer likes Nikki Glaser's legs tour. I did put my legs in the video for it

that I made for him because I did like a little promotional video. So it is called the Fully Loaded Festival. So you can go to fullyloadedfestival.com to check out tickets there. We're doing arenas, raceways, and minor league stadiums and amphitheaters. Me, Burt Kreischer, and a handful of other really great comics. That would be sick.

But I would actually love for you to come see me alone, too. So whatever you can do. All right, let's get to Fanthrax. Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! Fanthrax! All right, let's get to Fanthrax. All right, let's get to it. What are the besties saying? They're saying all sorts of things, but let's start with Dani. Hi, Nikki, Andrew, Noah.

This is Dani. I'm calling from New York City. And I have a care to report. I was waiting for the subway this morning on the platform and I saw multiple people walking around with those like fucking tinfoil

blankets that they give you after you're on a marathon. And I don't know. I think this is pretty care. It's kind of like, hey guys, I ran a marathon. We get it. You know what I mean? I don't think you need that. Do you need that? I really don't know. I think this is pretty K. It's kind of like, hey, guys, I ran a marathon. Like, we get it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think you need that.

Do you need that? I really don't think you need that. Anyways, that's my K. And Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack and Joe. I love that. That was melodic. Jackie Pop. Yeah.

Runners are K. We know that you're a melodic. Jackie Pop. Yeah. Runners are cool. We know that you're a runner because you look sick. And we know that you ran a marathon because you look like very thin and wobbly and tired and dehydrated. And your nipples are bleeding. Like, I get it. You're wearing a medal around your neck. I know that some people get annoyed when runners wear their medals all weekend after a marathon. Let them have that day. But the blanket,

no, no one needs that. If I ever run a marathon, will I be sporting a blanket? You're damn right I will. It is look at me. It also looks like you're showing off in front of a homeless person. It's like, oh, would you like this?

Yeah, look at this. I need it for an hour. I need it for an hour. Is that cool? Oh, you need it? Oh, are you cold? But I just ran 30. My feet are bleeding because I ran 26 miles.

Why are your feet bleeding? Oh, because you don't have shoes and you haven't been allowed to bathe. Yeah, and I make like three million a year, but I save like, like i like raised like 38 dollars for saint jude so so like i'm better than you and i'm like warm i'm actually too warm you want one of mine i have like three blankets those blankets seem so like it kind of makes me go like oh like when i think about cotton being pulled apart or nails on a chalkboard, like putting

on a plastic blanket on your sweaty skin. Like I want something. I want a towel. Why not a towel? Because I think what it is. They keep the heat trapped in better. Right, right. There's a reason.

There's always a reason. Well, yes, I do think it's good. And they all act that but that is the only day that people really get to be celebrities when your city is doing a marathon and the people that have run it get to like limp around all day and they wear their their um number all day i've seen that number we were in chicago performing and the chicago marathon was the same weekend do you remember yes yes and all of them were in the elevator. When we were catching our flight, they were all like camped out around just like sharing

each other's times and like talking about pictures of each other. And I'm like, I was actually impressed. Like I'm impressed by anyone who can run that much. It's really insane. My little brother ran one in like three hours and 45 minutes, which is pretty fucking solid. Wow. I'm surprised that i'm gonna act like that's good or not because i really don't know yeah i mean when you break it down it's i bet

that is good i think under four hours is pretty damn good yeah yeah i mean but you're obsessed like you have to run like 20 miles a week before like it's i know i ran two miles yesterday in the park i felt pretty good about that. Hell yeah, dude. I mean. You got to start somewhere. Forest Park is such a fucking great place to run. It's hilly. It's more hilly than you think.

I don't know. Do you have a run app? Because they'll tell you how many hills you climb. I find it to be pretty flat. What run app do you use? I do Nike, the Nike run app, which I really recommend because they do this thing at the end of your runs that is so fucking condescending.

There's this one that's like, hey girl, it's like, hey, it's Jane from Nike Run. Listen, every run is just a little change in the piggy bank and someday it's gonna cash in. Or it'll be like, and I'll be like, bitch, I just ran four miles for the first time in six months and i clocked an 8 10 per mile like give me some credit

and they're like wow whoa hey it's rodney from nike run girl you better slow down i'm getting intimidated i can't keep up with you. You're in my rear view mirror. And I'm like, don't talk to me like I'm a five-year-old who just got new shoes that you're like, wow, you're fast. Like, it's so condescending.

I cannot believe it. I always screen record at the end of my run so I can catch them being condescending. And whenever I'm recording, I swear to God, it'll just be like, good job.

And I'm like, come on, say something condescending. It's really fun. So you just type in like, I want to run three miles, and it'll do like a circle for you? Yeah. That's cool. No, you just type in three miles, and then you start running. And when you hit one mile, it'll go one mile, two miles to go.

And then at two miles, it'll be like, one mile left. I bet you there's apps that give you wherever you're at. A route. A route, don't they? Yeah, I think it's called My Runner. But just go running in Forest Park and just fucking run. I know. My problem is I'll run and then I'll be like, fuck, I can't go back.

But that's why you need the thing because as soon as it goes one mile, you just turn around and go back. Oh, yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. That's a good point there. That's a good point there. That's science there over there. All right.

Oh, yeah. Next Fanthrax. Okay, next one is from Nicole. Hi, Nikki, Andrew, and Noah. I was just listening to – oh, this is Nicole calling from Salt Lake City. Hey, girl. And I was just listening to the episode where you were talking about what lip tattoo you would get. And Noah said that she would get pointless, but without the vowels.

So P-N-T-L-E-S-S. And it reminded me of, I think I was in fifth grade. And I really wanted to be like different, you know, show how I wasn't like, I was not like the other girls. I was like a cool different girl and so when i was choosing my screen name um i wanted to have my screen name reflect that and so i made it normal people scare me but too long so just like noah i took out vowels so it's n-r-m-l-p-p-l- s-c-r-m-e so it just kind of looked like normal people normal people scar me oh and uh yeah it was really embarrassing nickname i also think or embarrassing screen name i think uh first screen name or most embarrassing screen name is just a fun prompt. It's one of my, one of my personal faves. Love the pod.

Love you guys. Bye. Normal people scare me. It's so good because you're trying to be like, I'm so different that like, if you're, I mean, it's the curse thing,

but it's so cute because it's how cute she is. And, and normal people scream. I just, I mean, I love it. I love everything about it. And it's such a good prompt.

What were your guys's first screen names? It's a good question. Thank you so much for that. Nicole. I'm too I mean, I love it. I love everything about it. And it's such a good prompt. What were your guys' first screen names? This is a good question. Thank you so much for that, Nicole. I'm too old for it. I didn't really have an AIM. That's how old I am. You didn't? I had one, but it wasn't like a, you know,

wine, I'm dying, I'm 69, I'm kind of thing. It was more like, I don't know, Andrew is a man. I don't know, like Andrew Collin, 04967. You know? Oh, wow. I'm't know, like Andrew Collin, 04967. You know? Oh, wow. I'm sorry. What were you, Noah? Do you remember any of yours?

I think my very first one was friggin' 69. Friggin'? Yeah, 69. Like F-R-G-G-E-N? How old were you when you were 69? Wait, 69? Why 69? Because you were just like... No, because I wanted to be as obnoxious as possible oh so is ironic yeah oh my how old were you that's cool i think um

maybe i was like 15 or 16 oh my god when i first mine was like uh yeah it was yours glaze 84 i think was my first one because born in 84 and glaze obviously and then i remember for a while i was dave matthews is hot but that just looks like dave matthews i shot which is also something that i maybe could have done at that age because i was such a wild fan um so we also my friends and i used to do this thing i don't know if i talked about on the show before but we used to go in aol chats a lot and there was this chat that we found that was people doing wolf role plays where they would be well it was like a wolf chat i don't understand it it was people that like were were wolves their names were all wolves and we used to go in there and act as one

of them and used to be able to like kind of recreate how we'll so i don't understand they would be like pause her young cubs like screeches into the moonlight and it would be like sniffs her ear cuddles up next to nocte lupus like they would all just like fuck each other and like have cubs and like roam around in packs and howl on the moon and it was just so much of people pretending to be wolves and you would do a double call like you would do you know the colon sign like the two dots yeah you would do colon colon and then whatever the action was and then colon colon and that would be the action gotcha and then whatever you write outside of that is what the wolf says or hows or whatever but we used to like troll and harass these wolf chats for like that was our hobby was just seeing how weird these wolf people were and then

bugging them and like to the point where they would block us and when you make new names and then we would harass them again like we were like little cyber bullies to these wolf community but i remember one of the people was named noctilupus and we were like obsessed we i think i was friends with that guy yeah freaking 69 i went to see his band oh my god my favorite the boy that i liked so much doug reese 98 doug reese is what we called him. But his screen name, I'll never forget. It was so cool. It was Marley Fan, but Fan was spelled P-H because he liked fish.

And when I used to hear that little door open on that AIM, my God, that was the best sound ever. It was, and it would be Marley Fan. I'd be like, oh my gosh. I would just like wait all night for him to come in the room. Oh my God. That was a different time. That was so exciting.

All right. One more fanthrax before final thought. Yeah. Fanthrax. Yeah, man. Just like Dougie Reese. With Isabel. Is Doug Reese married now?

I think so. I haven't been able to find him, but he's often in my dreams. Hi. Wait, hold on. I felt like she was here, that person. I know, I did too. I was like, someone's in our chat. Yeah.

That was a door. Terrible. Hi, Nikki. Hi, Noah. Hi, Andrew. Calling in with love from Austin, Texas. I'm going to be seeing Nikki in a few weeks here in Austin. I'm so excited.

And Andrew. I'm dragging my boyfriend, Nikki in a few weeks here in Austin. I'm so excited. And Andrew. I'm dragging my boyfriend, Nikki. We're sitting front row. But I'm calling in today with a mispronunciation or maybe just like a learning lesson and a misunderstanding I think I developed as a child. But I used the phrase lobe of corn, L-O-B-E. That's lobe of corn, L-O-B-E, that's lobe of corn, at a dinner party this weekend and was absolutely roasted. No pun intended. So, learn from my mistakes.

Lobe of corn is not something people say. Oh, ear. I'm 25 years old. Oh my god, ear and then lobe uh yeah uh it's not the same thing as saying an ear of corn i don't know why people don't say low it makes sense it looks like an earlobe it's long i think people should start saying that um anyways love you guys girl such a huge bestie here i get why you do all the. You're so cute. I feel like I know her. That voice is so familiar. I love her voice.

That's exactly what she did. She didn't say ear of corn. This girl's a smart person because she's making connections and she just picked the wrong thing. That is just... It sounds so weird, but you see how she got there.

To say it looks like a lobe, like a kernel looks like a lobe. Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to imagine. Why is it called ear of corn? I don't know why it's called an ear of corn. Did you ever put those things in the side of the corn? No, who needs them?

Just hold them. Yeah. just hold them yeah i did that you did that your family had those i just like tortured corn it does feel good to like use those and not get your fingers all buttery but god damn is corn good all right um i loved that one so much i want more of those like that where you just fuck up the word because you think you just i mean that's happened to me So many times I wish I could remember one of you know, I can't okay. Let's did you do you know the difference between? reoccurring and recurring And you know that there's two different words

I learned this today. I learned this today. Oh tell me well I thought I was misspelling reoccurring and then then recurring showed up. And then I go, has it been recurring the whole time? Is there no reoccurring? The whole time. The whole time. The whole time. But they're both different words? Yes.

We'll find out more when we get back from this break. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast the daily show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture you get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment politics sports and more from john and the team of correspondents and contributors the podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines listen to the daily show ears edition on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts we're back reoccurring with an o means the guest just came back once right recurring is a constant keeps

coming back oh okay i like it reoccurring is like it's the one time it happened again and recurring yes i had no idea it sounds like you're just trying to say reoccurring and you're being lazy like it sounds like recurring came out of you. Sounds like a tattoo in Noah's lip. Regularing. God, we're all the same. Green. We really are green.

Oh my God, I almost said that. Okay. All right, Noah. Next fanthrax. All right, let's do a quick mispronunciation from Emily. Today my boyfriend said camole instead of chamomile. That's it. I love that person.

I love you. Camole? Camole. Camole. I'll play it again. Today my boyfriend said camole instead of chamomile. Wait, can I do an impression of her?

Can you do something for me when you do this impression? Can you say my boyfriend said guacamole instead of guacamole? Today my boyfriend said guacamole instead of guacamole. And that is not me shitting. Her voice is so crisp. It made me want to do it because I didn't do a good job. It made it sound like I was making fun of her voice, but I am very

That was a crunchy voice. It was crisp. That's like cartoon. Yes, it was really really good. And I love that just short I'm just going to tell. I'm getting to the point. Camole is so funny. it was really really good and i love that just short like i'm just gonna tell i'm getting to the point uh uh camoli is i just love that she was just i i want to hear how she responded to it she goes she'd be like what did you just say yeah hold on one second and then she pulls up her instagram is like she's sitting across from him going like my, she's staring him down and she says my boyfriend just said

and then she sets down the phone and no, she throws it in the ice bucket like Jennifer Aniston when she goes, and that is what you call closure. For those of you who know that Friends reference. And then the phone looks even better like Gigi Hadid's face. I am drunk. Two episodes. One. Who knows anymore anymore it's just one green

okay here's another one from uh bianca hi nikki andrew and noah this is bianca from philadelphia um i have been losing sleep because a few episodes ago that you said that the way bartenders shake a drink is kuh and that hurts me because I'm a bartender and I am also three months right now as of today sober from alcohol so I know that alcohol is kuh and I know that that's just the way it is I work in a zero-proof bar in Philadelphia, all zero-proof liquors. But there is a purpose to shaking and like how you shake.

And I know it is ka and it sounds ka, but there is a certain way to shake and you do kind of have to be obnoxious with it. I know that some bartenders can be extra, but I would just like to be excluded from that community. If I could please be granted that pass, that would be really appreciated so that I can live my life as normal and shake my cocktails and not think that I'm being cuh because it is haunting me every time. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, Bianca.

Anyway, I love you guys so, so, so much. I can't wait to meet you in May when you come back to the Philadelphia area. Tears will be shed. And I can't wait to hug you. It'll be a very surreal moment in my life. Anyway, have a wonderful day, week, month, et cetera. Love you, love you lots. And don't be cut.

And don't let me be it. Don't be cut. Thank you. I would never. You have total pass to shake those drinks as much as you want. Because if it does serve a purpose with – I don't fucking know. I'm just spouting things out. I've never shaken a drink.

I've never been a bartender. I just know that some – as you said, Bianca, like you get that so much of drinking culture is so – and I just think that sometimes bartenders – like it's more male bartenders to be honest with you. Like they're just trying to like get it to get it. Like rattling something really loud. Sometimes you just look over and you go, this guy knows that everyone's looking at him and he loves it and it's a little bit. But if it does serve a purpose. Show off the arms.

I take it back. I think that's what they're doing. I think a lot of bartenders are muscular a lot of times. Because they're always lifting. Yeah, they're showing their biceps through the drink. You know what I mean? Like, look at my fucking arm.

Like a fucking... You flex your muscles a lot. You like your biceps to be seen. Is that good? Yes, for sure. Okay. Yeah, you're not going to get an argument here. Yeah, I mean like,

I bet I'm pissed so much of the time it's like insane like i i think that i'm maybe anything i mean because defined by anything you do that you wouldn't do unless people were watching you and to give a perception that you're cooler than you are but here's the thing i. I don't think I'm cool because I flex. I think it's just like, I don't know. I don't know what it is. Because I'll do it alone, too. I'll flex in the mirror towards myself. So I don't think that's, is that, I don't know.

You're trying to convince yourself that you're cool. I don't even think it's about being cool, though, for real. Does Bretta like muscles? Does she get really excited when there's a new one that she feels? Do you get? No, no's a new one that she feels? No, it's not that. When we're talking about positive reinforcement in terms of accomplishments and our partner saying the right thing and stuff, it's harder to know, though, when your partner is changing their body.

If you're around them every day, you don't really see the gains as much as if you took a month off, and then you're like, wow, you look different. Does she notice, get like do you ask her to like hey feel this like look what i did uh not that much i i have done that before i i honestly feel like i'm really lifting now less about aesthetic stuff and more about functionality and my mental health and those are those are honestly the two first things it makes you feel really good when people say look at your bicep but i'm not gonna lie i was banging it out and i looked at my own body and got more turned on because i knew that it was hot hotter for her potentially to look at this but don't spin it that's why i did spin because you because you were like you got hotter for your when she saw yourself you got hotter because you knew

that she was maybe hotter for you because well that was part of it i'm just saying part of it but the other part of it was literally i was looking at my own body being like wow you know what you've worked really hard and it looks like i I look like, The way you want it to. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that can be sexy towards yourself, right? I don't know. Totally. And I think a lot of times,

like, I think Noah one day, you asked me, like, do you ever like, masturbate like in the mirror? So there was some kind of like, mirror question of like,

do you ever turn yourself on? And I think a lot of girls are allowed to do that and be like, turning themselves on. But men, when they do it, it's just a little bit like,

you're not allowed to be that vain. That's care. So I'm glad that you feel that way about yourself. That's nice. I think that I love, I'm not into muscles and like I've never really been like, I want my man to be muscle.

It's never been something that has ever occurred to me like I would want or like I'm lacking. But it is exciting when, it is exciting when it's exciting when there's ever a change that is obviously for the better like like when you feel like a new muscle pop out or you're like what is this back like who is this person like it just it almost feels novel like you're with someone new so i think there's something about that that i like yeah final thought i just think that i don't know i'm i there's something about

like when you're we were talking about this before when your partner shaves when you're like when you have anything like new you get a new haircut you do something like it's like oh there's a new person i'm thinking about getting wigs i just found out that billy eilish wore a wig to the Grammys one year. She bought a Billie Eilish wig on Amazon and wore it over her bleach blonde locks that she had not debuted. And I was like, that looks so real. It'd be fun to just start wearing wigs and, I don't know, kind of role playing, doing fun stuff like that. Just to spice it up, there's something that I like about, um, there's something that I'm very turned on by with whoever I'm with to hear about how they are with women in their past where it was like new.

There's something about newness and like hooking up for the first time or like, you know, you know, uh, sweeping someone off their feet or like the awkwardness or like hooking up for the first time or like you know you know sweeping someone off their feet or like the awkwardness or like how smooth they can be like my boyfriend now I'm just like sometimes I just love to hear like about um his past experiences because I'm just like oh my god you're such a sexual man like you're like i mean not that he does anything that that's that wild but i just love hearing about how he has like desires and like has been like

i don't know like there's something about men that are they're so like controlled and they know what they like and they are measured about things and chris is very like organized and he's uh driven and and it's just so funny like when men are just like get like kind of like bedazzled by a woman and they're like kind of like just like disarmed and they do something like charming i don't know it's just like such a sexy vibe and i think you lose that when you're in a relationship that like newness and I'm I crave seeing that in my partner I think that's why I want a like sometimes in a relationship I'm like oh I want to open it up because I just want to I want to unleash that kind of part of them that is like there's something horned up for something new I don't know no I get what you're saying

there's something fun about like either seeing like a secret talent or like something you didn't even know the person was really interested in because you're like oh this is like a whole different person it's like you're almost having sex with their with their twin or something that you never even like met yet um like brenna like we were driving and she like i don't know like the rap came on Like, newer rap that I don't really know. And she knew every word, but not just, like, kind of. Like, really talented of, like, her memory. Like, her memory, I don't know, it just turned me on. Yes.

It turned me on to see her, like, just, like, really flowing. She did this thing where she, like. And, like, confident. She was really good at this thing that came out of nowhere for you. Yeah. And I think that's like anything i think when any if your partner has like a newfound confidence in whatever it is whatever new hobby they're doing or passion they have it's hot because you know that it brings them happiness and i think that turns you on you know i don't know i agree i think that that really it makes like one time i found out that chris used to love legos as a child i was like like, you loved Legos? Like, even that is just, like, so cute that you were like, you cared about, like, you would play Legos? Like, just hearing someone, like, I don't, like, that they just had this whole life without you and that they, and I think that when you discover, like, a new skill or a new thing they know or, like, oh, yeah yeah i used to really be into anime or something you're like what like there's a part of you that goes i don't know you fully

and that's very mysterious and now who's this guy and like maybe i don't have you figured out and there's something that makes me feel a little bit maybe uneasy about that and maybe like i don't have it all figured out and makes me want to like figure it out and um maybe it makes me like a little more hard to get because i'm like i think i have him pegged i know exactly what he likes and i'm like wait you like you really are into dualipa what like the other day chris was on radio and he was saying like you know i just i got dualipa there's something about her and i just wrote him dualua Lipa I was like me too dude like I don't even I don't know what it is she is not someone that like aesthetically I am

usually that attracted to but whenever I see me and Chris agree whenever you see Dua Lipa first of all you don't even recognize her most of the time because she's such a shapeshifter but I'm always wanting more I will click on whatever Dua Lipa picture i see to zoom in on it because she's fascinating and chris and i like i just love that i'm like you like dualipa like oh little cutie what do you like about dualipa do you like her music and he's like he does he's like i don't know i don't like this i don't like this yeah he's like typed in the word like d-u-a like it's so cute that he was like i want to see more of i just thought it was really cute it's like the legos of people yeah i just i think it's so cute when like someone that you love like has an interest where you're like what the i don't know

i i wouldn't think of like more is there anything about about that comes to mind for Avi that you're like, wait, what? We just had a moment like this, I think yesterday or the day before, but I think it was something that I did that he didn't know about, but I can't think of it. I remember finding out that Chris had watched is like an avid watcher of the good doctor. And I was like, the good diet.

I don't know. I really like it. it i'm like wait a second like what in what world would you stop and watch the good doctor like it's just i know people watch this show but not my chris yeah and it's just it's so cute that he's like invested in this like medical drama about an autistic doctor it's just so adorable to me brenna loves yellow mustard. And I have an affinity for yellow. I'm more of a mayonnaise person, as we know. But I love a yellow mustard way more than a spicy mustard. And it's just something like that.

I don't know. It's so cheesy. All right, we got to go. Thank you for listening to the show this week. I will be back in St. Louis next week. I can't wait to be there in person. Don't shake all the drinks you want to this week. Don't worry. You're not going to be

cut. Don't be cut. And Jack Down. John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team

for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.