The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #21 Verbal Journal

Episode Date: April 27, 2021

There are so many golden nuggets to find in today's episode, between you and Nikki shaved heads are cool especially on UFC's Thug Rose. Andrew had some fun on a lime scooter with his chick and Nikki wishes there was an app that could have "the talk" for her in relationships. You Heard it Here First, OM is intriguing, start your day off with 5 steps to attain more swells and a hell gig recap of the Oscars. The listeners come thru with some incredible notes and Nikki admits dismissing a morning routine that will surprise you! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki.

Hey, guys. Happy start of the week to you. Thanks for listening to the show out there um i appreciate you thank you for listening to the ads that start our show you know you want it to just start i know it's frustrating it's uh but it's what you got to do so that a podcast is free and uh thank you to iheart for making it free and for selling those ads so support our advertisers if you can if something strikes your fancy uh that's what advertising's uh for Noah how you doing happy like sixth week of the show I've lost track now even though I

should still be when people go uh episode 20 I'm like whoa we've done that many yeah i just think it's fun to say we turned 21 oh that is cool we gotta get wasted and we have to tape we have to do 21 podcasts in one day yeah did you ever do that on your 21st birthday 21 shots and then you die uh if i did i don't remember that wasn't a thing though in college that was a thing that was like you gotta do 21 shots and you and I always made the joke you're turning 25 oh you gotta rent 25 rental cars tonight as an adult because that's the only thing you get when you turn 25 that's the last like thing you get then you can be president when you're 35 and then you can get social security when you're what and then you can get social security

when you're what oh never because there's none of that left oh don't worry about it kids listening uh noah how was your weekend it was great but i was telling you before the show i'm just so exhausted from socializing i know i said save it for the show i want to hear about this yeah i mean and i don't just mean like in person or whatever it's just like you know my fiance's dad was here all the birthday say no more fiance's dad is maybe the two worst two words I've ever heard together fiance's dad like and he came in for your birthday I gave you so much shit I'm like literally that's the for birthday, I'm going to dinner with my fiance and my fiance's dad. Fiance's dad needs to be the name of a band or a sketch troupe, probably a UCB sketch troupe. Okay.

But your fiance's dad is cool, right? What's his name, Rick? Steve. Steve? I almost said Steve. Okay. Fiance's dad, Steve. And you guys had a good

birthday like din yeah we had a great birthday din he there was like a PFL match on the TV screen at the restaurant which is a martial arts company and he was into it so we got to watch the big UFC fight on Saturday

oh yeah and you love that I do. And, uh, we, we, a woman that we know, Rose Namanjawas. Nama Yunas. Nama Yunas. Sorry. I mixed up, uh, different sounds at the end of her name that sound the same to me because I'm an ignorant American. Wait, Rose Namajunas. Namajunas. Namajunas. Yeah, I remember having to memorize her name because she came on our show. She was so nice on You Up.

Yeah. I follow her on Instagram and clearly only read three-fourths of her name every time her name comes up. You could just call her Thug Rose. That's her nickname. Thug Rose. Okay, so Thug Rose, I i saw that joe rogan cried when uh she won she made him cry on her victory speech is that it yeah she's called she always

says such like awesome things she like i i just love her mentality that you wrote on your story so you know like for her she's not just like a fighter who's about the physicality of it. She's also about the mental strength aspect. And Joe Rogan, you know, he's like, oh, you first of all, she was crying because she had like a very quick knockout. And he's like, oh, I saw before the match started, you were saying I'm the best to yourself. And she just, she's so cute. She just goes, I am the best. And then she like giggles. Oh my God. Adorable. You know what I learned about her this weekend that I think you might really appreciate? I liked everything about her.

She shaved her head too. I want everyone to know right now. This is what I learned. This girl, she shaved her head as a, like a heterosexual woman. She shaved her head as a heterosexual woman. She shaved her head and dates a really hot guy because it was getting pulled out in matches, I'm guessing.

She shaved her head because she was having a huge match with Paige Van Zandt, who's also a stunningly beautiful woman. And all of the lead up to it was about how these two hot women are fighting. So she shaved her head in rebellion of that because she was like, it's not about my looks. It's about what I put in the in the in the Pentagon. No, yeah. Pentagon. Octagon. Yeah.

I'm glad you fucked that up and not me. That would have been like way more hilarious if I did it because I know so little. But you know so much that that was really embarrassing for you. And yes, i hope people give you shit for it at no injection brings me satisfaction that andrew is going to be so jealous that you like we get like i talked about this with you and the pentagon yeah what i want to say about her is i love that she did that in rebellion of like the two hot bodies like oiled up and rubbing on you like because the the first thing to do as a woman to go fuck sexuality is to shave your head like fuck being sexualized because long

hair is like men like it I I've never met a man who I forget the guy who said it to me but it confirmed so much for me some guy who's like you know, I want to say that I care what he thought about women because I probably wanted to be desired by this person, one of those people. But the fact that I can't remember who it was, it's kind of a shame. But I remember him saying, no girl. Oh, I know who it was. Oh my God. That's so funny. I, I'll just say it because like, I do value his opinion of women and like hot women because he's pulled so many hot women. So I always want him to think I'm hot. And I like asked for confirmation, our friendship, just because I don't even ask for confirmation. He always gives it to me and it's very nice.

But David Spade, I remember him one time saying to me no girl has ever cut her hair shorter and a guy has been like I like that like let's say above the shoulders gone from like below the shoulders to above the shoulders that's what I think he was talking about not like a trim and and the guy has been like I like that more and I'm not gonna say no guy but it's I because I know there are exceptions but when I I heard that, I was like, yeah, short hair is kind of a rejection. It's what you do when you get older, you know, you suddenly have soccer mom hair, it goes up because it gets thinner and it's harder to deal with. My hair is so like scraggly at the ends. It's still long, but it's like long hair is a sign of youth. So like it all makes sense. It all checks out as someone with

short hair and extensions. Noah, how do you feel about all this? Yeah, no, it's the truth. I watched like a show on the Learning Channel. Sexuality or like attraction? Yeah, some show about, you know, women's sexuality. And besides symmetry, thick hair is a sign of fertility and all that. So there's something like... Yeah, it's all like, can this woman have my son or daughter

that will drown in the river because it's not going to help our tribe prosper. Yeah, what? I want to say I got my hair extensions because I was trying to grow my hair out from getting it ripped in jujitsu because I made the mistake of not covering it. So a badass reason. But also interesting because you also wanted to

you have an upcoming match and you wanted to sexualize it. Isn't that why too? I want to look hot. You did a reverse what is her name? Thorn Rose? Thug Rose. Thug Rose. Thug Rose. Thorn Rose is good, too, because, you know, they have him. All right, let's get Andrew in here.

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Whether you're a new grad, an established professional, or contemplating a career change, Get Hired is for you. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you like to listen. Andrew, welcome to the show. Hello, Nikki, or should I say Nick? Why? I don't know.

I thought I'd go short. I thought you were like wanting to announce that I've changed genders and you were like, you got ahead of my announcement. And I'm like Andrew not yet to be honest you know when I like start something and I have nothing yeah it was that um no I know I know but for some reason I thought Nikki was short for something and I couldn't think of anything longer uh Nicole is what it's like my real name too it's insane that you couldn't think of anything longer. Nicole is what it's short for. Yeah, I know. Like my real name too. It's insane that you couldn't come up with my real name.

Nick. But it did sound like you were trying to like get like, like you knew that I had just used the monologue up top to announce that I'm transitioning to a man. And you were like, hey, Nikki, or should I say Nick? Congrats on the announcement. Like, that's what it sounded like. It worked out.

It worked out. Andrew, I didn't tell them yet. That's for Tuesday's show. Oh, well, okay. I'll take it back. Okay, Nicole. How are you? I'm really good.

I'm really good. The weather's nice here in St. Louis. Had a nice two days with the lady yeah we saw on instagram i wasn't aware of it and then i had uh robin and her husband over yesterday and they were like she's like andrew is is is just showing her all of her as instagram i don't know why i'm talking like she's like the queen i can't do her accident accent at all Her accent is more like it Except when she says Flawed, like he's so flawed

She goes, flawed And one day she was saying, well Nikki he's flawed He's flawed, and I was like He's flawed, like he's like Astonished, about what? He's flawed Nikki, he's flawed Because of his mom, I'm like, what happened with his mom? Why is he flawed?

So anyway, Robin told me that your Instagram had a lot of uh your lady on it so I'm wondering what in your relationship happened for you to take that turn and go like wild on posting and doing it like where you were like tricking the audience into thinking like I'm gonna show her for a second I'm gonna show her for a second now i'm gonna show her for a lot like what is the logic behind all of this there were there discussions of of exclusivity no no discussions it was literally just look it's not dodging it i just don't i when two people are hanging out having as much fun as possible on lime scooters the last thing i want to do is go where are we what are we no we are what we are we're doing it that's the first thing i want to do i know i want a little app on my phone that has little places where you can go and have that talk like it's like the lime but then you activate

gazebos where you go in to have that talk it's called yeah what are it's called what are we's what are we's i love you being on the lime going i want to talk though and you can't hear it because you're scooting 14.8 miles per hour yeah i love and you're just scoop on scoot on there oh yeah we went through forest park yeah which actually the lime knows to bring down the speed to 9.7, which was interesting. Yeah, the lime nose. You're not going to be going 14 knots in Forest Park. That's the biggest. It's bigger than Central Park, for those of you who don't know.

We have an amazing park in St. Louis called Forest Park. It was the site of the 1904 World's Fair in which ice cream was invented or some shit. I don't know, waffles. Something big happened. I think ice cream was 1904 World's Fair. Boom.

It was an accident. Some guy was walking with waffle Nikes and stepped on a pancake. Yeah, it was one of those. No, no, no. The ice cream cone. You're right. There was a guy with waffles and then a guy with ice cream, and then they rolled it in a cone and then fucking made it.

That's what started here. I was going to say, 1904 would have been a little too late for ice cream. Ah, the sugar cone. That was a tough day for the sugar cone. Oh God, I love the sugar cone. You know I love when it gets all melty inside the bottom receptacle of the sugar cone. I don't want to crunch on an empty sugar cone.

I will be disgusted if my ice cream is so rock solid that by the time I lick it down to the little receptacle, oh, like a McDonald's soft serve, when you get that thin receptacle, do you know I'm talking about the part you hold? Yes, of course. And then you, that, if they could sell those. They do.

Well, they sell drumsticks with the chocolate on the bottom, like frozen. I know, but the last bite is like wild. I want ice cream. I want that consistency of the crunch of the smooth crunch of a slightly half-soaked-in sugar cone bottom. Okay, so it's halfway through the crust. If you were looking at like a size or

like like the earth's crust halfway through i want that soaked through with ice cream and the ice cream to be not room temperature yet but like oh very very melty and if i could package those in that state oh it's a very hard state it's a state. You'd have to keep it in a perfectly like, you know, 40 degree freezer. Like a Pfizer vaccine. Like you'd have to keep it at like negative 48. Exactly. And you have two of them exactly three weeks apart. And then you feel like shit after the second one.

If you're a little pussy boy. I'm just kidding. Millions of people felt sick after the second one. Except me. Mickey Mantle Jean. Shout out to Burt Kreiser-less fans. Burt Kreiser-less? Listeners and fans.

Wait, what's a woman Mickey Mantle equivalent? Let's get a woman idea here. Julie Bowen. That's for looking young and getting hotter. I like to say I'm Julie Bowening because when I was in my twenties, I was like real, like I didn't have it together, but I think I look more attractive. I'm going to look more attractive into my forties and then I'll top off

somewhere around probably 45. Who's Julie Bowen? The mom from a modern family. Happy Gilmore. So that's the equivalent of Mickey Mantle for you? I mean, I just like picked her because she's always my example of someone who doesn't age. That's a better one than J-Lo because she seems to, I mean, I know Julie Bowen's had stuff done, but she seems to, that's in terms of looks. In terms of physicality and someone just like Joan Rivers? If Julie Bowen was like an insane alcoholic

and still acted and only looked younger, like that was the thing with Mickey Mantle is he treated his body like a dumpster. Yeah, but when did he die? Huh? When did he die? He died probably like in his late 60s, about probably 20 years ago.

Okay, so he was a booze. I mean, that was the thing we were watching the john daly um yeah documentary and john daly treated his body like a dumpster and ate out of dumpsters for a while and um was still great but but the thing is he wasn't he was people that think you can be like doug stanhope and drink drink like Doug Stanhope on stage as a comedian and still be great. I was talking to someone yesterday about like people who drink on stage and how, when I quit drinking, I now see drinking on stage as such like a sad thing. Like when the, a male comic goes from the mic to the stool, like in a, they're waiting for an applause break and maybe they get one and they're like, yeah, or a place to pause. And they go to

the stool and they like, they, they like, like this is my example they're just like yeah they look so cool they just hit a punchline the crowd's going wild and then they go over the stool and they drink the beer and they're like oh they're like chugging the beer as much as they can because they want to get wasted because they're dependent on a drug which i don't need to i thought it was just overselling the beer drinking. Oh my God. No, they,

no, they, they guzzle it because they, they can't, they're not gonna have another time to sip it. And so they, it just looks like baby need bottle. Like,

it's like a suddenly just like hot guy that has like a cool opinion is like sucking on a beer, like a Heineken. Like it's a mom, his mom's tit. It's just like sad. Whose mom was probably an alcoholic and he could taste what was coming out of her nipples.

Yeah, exactly. It reminds him of his mom's Zima tits. Wow, that got you. Bod, we got a name for a show, boy. Zima tits. How did you sleep last night anything before tits is fantastic i know that's the way to make you laugh uh how did you sleep last night i slept i slept great like she slept over uh two nights ago and uh yeah like i was exhausted a lot of sex right your boy your boy is you know we did like an hour and a half session it was wild i mean i'm so happy for you it's like the fucking best dude i did an hour session hour and a half probably with myself last night i'm not even lying but

like it is it's really when sex can be that long and you can have that much fun for that long sexually what a fucking gift i'm so excited that you can have that much fun for that long sexually, what a fucking gift. I'm so excited that you are living that life. I mean, your boy gets tired, though. I mean, she's a young spry. Enjoy it while you can. Yeah. Well, then make her do all the work.

No, I want to please her. I gave her a massage. You can please her once or twice, but once it gets to, like, okay, the third time we're fucking fucking today just let her get what she wants and you take a load off what she wants another guy to fuck her better than me uh the i mean that's your fear i know but yes go on and truth uh i brought out lotion and did like i was like welcome to andrew's spa and i had her lay down naked and i i gave her a full like i'm talking full massage and it turned me on like a lot of people are like why would you do that like it turned me on so much because you can't fuck her and so it's like bringing it back to this like time when it's about something other than sex but you're getting so horny because you're touching your body so it feels like

naughty again and it feels like oh i yeah i i have to resist and that that temptation of like i want to do something but i can't right now and just getting to like explore her body like not sexually or like like that was probably so erotic that's so fun it was so erotic to do the leg massage and then you you glaze the put or you graze the pussy yeah and you glaze it but you you know that's later yeah you know what i'm saying nick and uh no but you great it's nicole to you nicholas so you graze the pussy and it is so hot to graze a push i mean that's the thing i watch in porn so much is like just or i used to is like the the the first and that's the hottest thing in the world is when you're like they might touch it or something like when you want them to I don't I want anyone to ever massage

me and actually try this even though it has happened before and it was erotic and then other times it was fucking horrifying so you know I'm a mixed bag of feelings around it but um I gave a massage a foot massage to my lover um and just purely just wanting to make him feel good. And like and I love feet like not sexually. I just like I'm interested in like pressure points and like bringing like making a person feel certain things by like being like, oh, like, you know, we love foot massages are amazing. So to give one is really exciting. And I gave it to him and I was also like my spray tan was drying drying i just got a spray tan and i didn't want to have my robe i wore a robe on but i was like oh i need to take off my top just because i can't have the spray team getting on this robe

and so i gave him a top and i wouldn't even want to bra on because i wasn't trying to have lines there either so i gave him a topless uh foot massage and it was so erotic but it didn't even start that way but like it's just such a it's such a loving thing that being the receiver of it you feel like taken care of and like because whenever he would massage me it's just like I never had a guy like massage me unless it was like leading to sex and that like when it's when that's not even the vibe like we both know it will but it's not what's happening right now it's really really nice to do and i recommend people do it yeah i probably didn't help that i tried to get a blow job while doing it but um no but sometimes if that's the role play you're doing that's great

too man i gotta talk about the vibe later this week we i don't want to make this we have to get to the news but can i my porn habits really went off the the the fucking rails this weekend in a great way but yes go on what um when she's like scratching my head and i'm receiving a massage the whole time i'm feeling guilty that she's doing it that like okay that's enough like like you don't have to do it for 20 minutes. Thank you for asking me this. I have a lot of, a lot of to say on this. Yeah. Okay. So I often felt this way in high school all through now.

That's why I always pay for massages. So I don't have to feel the guilt of this person doesn't want to be doing this. They are so bored. This feels so good for me. I can't even enjoy it because they're so annoyed. They have to do it because you know how you feel when you have to give a massage to someone you don't want to give a massage to. But remember, in this case, this is someone that you did enjoy giving a massage to.

So maybe come from a place of like you just enjoyed that and maybe you could never get her to understand how much you enjoyed it. Maybe she can't get you to understand how much she enjoys it. And also let her be someone who if she didn't want to massage you she would let you know in her own way my ex-boyfriend who didn't like to massage me i would ask him for a foot massage and he would just go okay we're done like he would he would be done when he didn't want to do it if you only want to be with someone who respects what they like doing to a point where they're not going to please you beyond a point where they're miserable so like read the body signs of like, you know,

when someone starts to tap you and it's done, but definitely let your lover, if you're someone out there that relates to this, your lover or your someone you're having sex with. Why do you keep saying lover? I got it. Because I like it. We talked about the word lover.

It feels like the Will Ferrell skit in the hot tub. I love her. Like that's all i think about well i as someone who has been in love recently i like the word lover i see you eating hummus in a hot tub that's well that's honestly what it's turned into but as someone who has recently experienced romantic love for the first time in a deep way the word lover is not hard for me to say because it's like how like it's just like oh that makes sense like they're my love they're like my lover and like someone that you love and that you don't it's not just about anything else anyway

sorry yeah what i wanted to say is that when you're getting a massage from your lover or a friend just uh let just just let yourself enjoy it because what's the fucking point let yourself enjoy it. Because what's the fucking point? Let yourself enjoy things, people. That's the thing. We always have so much guilt all the time. If something feels good, try to let it in a little bit before you just start beating, like saying that you shouldn't be getting this.

This person giving it to you clearly doesn't want to be doing it. Stop it. Stop projecting. And that's a note from me, too. Let's get to the news. You heard it here first. Oh, here we go. let's get to the news you heard it here first oh here we go you heard it here first yeah you heard it here first hey guys what's going on hope you're having fun out there having all the swells people uh even other you know everywhere okay so here we go was going really well, and then I had to add another thing.

Okay, here we go. First story. Nick. There's a multi-million dollar orgasm cult endorsed by Hollywood who gather at Californian sex communes and have what feels like three-hour orgasms. Okay. I mean, I read this whole article.

It was a lot. Really? I didn't read it. What do we got going on there? Oh. Didn't you recommend this one? Yeah, because I read the headline. Oh, oh.

Nicole Dodone founded a group called... One Days with Tracks is... No, no, no. Don't read it to me. If you read the whole thing,hrase what the parts that you thought were interesting okay okay she you know what you want to help she's from i can help out yeah i could start though and then we could work from there so she she lived in san francisco uh she she started like uh she she was like a Buddhist, like monk kind of person.

She thought sex should be more of like a spiritual experience. Yeah, spiritual and not like it has to be so much so sexual and like let's get over the like dirtiness of it. So she like started this thing where women would just get fingered. Oh, yeah, she did. She did a thing where. Yeah, she did. Oh, and my ex-boyfriend took an om class and fingered a girl while we were together but this is what got her over the hump a guy put a flashlight on her vagina and described her vagina like oh you have a coral kind of vagina and then he lightly uh fingered her clitoris very like gentle very

it does kind of look like a piece of coral if you like splay it out okay go on yeah yeah seen a lot of coral here in the k-mans k-man k-man um so yeah so essentially like she loved it so then she spread she started this is longer than if i did read the article just can you blankest it for me, Noah? No, I'm doing a great job. He's actually doing a very good job. It was a very long article. I'm so sorry, you guys. I'm sorry I sent an article that was like a book

report. Can you pretend you're fingering me and give me three hours to tell this story? Can you pretend you're rubbing my coral pussy? So she started OM and then it turned into a new thing where they're all joining together and a lot of people are joining

together and sex isn't sexual it's just like let's have this experience like we're all tripping together for three hours it's like ayahuasca but for sex now the problem is money got involved she opened up centers and next you know women yeah so women are being like sex trafficked and told to fuck these guys.

So they pay 10 grand a pop to, you know, join the center. You just Venmo me. Is there a fall enrollment happening now? Yeah. I mean, I think I sent this because I'm just like into that kind of it sounded intriguing to me. I don't want to fuck a bunch of hippies and I don't want to like, but I do. Would you let them do it on you? What do you mean? Do OM? Yeah. Well, yeah. My ex-boyfriend took this class because I was very turned on by the idea of him like pleasing other women. Like

it was just my turn on. And so he found out about OM, which is orgasm meditation. And he went to these classes and women just lay lay the guys learn how to finger and the girls learn how to receive it without like guilt or weirdness and then it's very non-sexual and then you have an orgasm as a guy gently like flicks your clit like methodically like almost scientifically uh for like 20 minutes he my ex-boyfriend didn't even tell me about it because he wanted to surprise me with it and then he eventually did and i was like so turned on by it but he was like if what it's not as hot as you think there's like it's not really like hot it's literally like you know fingering older women or like it's just like an exchange in a community there's theo vaughn did it he would go house to house and do

this so once you learn you just go around and share this fingering technique that is meditative for you and the woman. Look, that's how he sold Tupperware. And then anyway, my ex-boyfriend did it to me like a while after he took the class because it was just like not what he thought it was. And it was fine. It was like I he had kind of forgotten the technique and I was just trying to connect with him. And it was just like it just didn't do it for me. But I would, no, I wouldn't want to do that because, but I would like, you know, to be involved in like a multi, a multi-male situation at some point. I've kind of like realized like, yeah, that's probably, I'd like that to be in my future at some point. Which, I mean, not a lot of women can say,

but I bet a lot of women do feel. I mean, I think what I learned the most from the article actually, and what I would learn from OM is I tend to my patients, maybe my ADD, I I'll start soft. And then I'll think the girl wants me to get to rev it up. And I think revving it up.

Isn't the best move all the time. And I think a lot of guys think you got to rev it up and i think revving it up isn't the best move all the time and i think a lot of guys think you gotta rev it up because that's what we would want you know and to stay soft and have the patience yeah make her beg for you to go faster let her like direct it because she will like just respond to like what she's doing but i would i would agree with that stay at the pace you're going if it's working. Don't rev. But it's so hard to be just a pace car and thinking that you're going to win the race, if that makes sense. Yeah.

Well, she can tell you when the race is about to be won and then you can sprint ahead. Like you can work as a team. It's not about you. Like I hate when guys go like, I got it. And you're like um i'm the one feeling this and so you don't got it uh next story um there are five things you can do in the morning that can make you happier through the day okay okay can i guess yes meditate eat breakfast brush your teeth make your bed um and write a gratitude list or write a to-do

list some of those were right um one kill a hamster i don't know sacrifice a hamster to the sun gods okay okay now you're now you're more on track if you can't find a hamster a colony of bees yeah that's four yeah add to the collapse of humanity so that um you know you feel in control of the things you really have no control over yes then make your bed then make your okay got it okay so what is it all right number one is pick a wellness habit then link it to the am ritual you already have like meditation or exercise okay get your phone out of the room when you reach i'm i was literally reading this in bed right when i woke up on my phone uh get your phone out of your room when you reach for the your phone

first thing in the morning you're really inviting the outside world to dictate your mood talk to yourself if you use your own name and your own self-talk you're more likely to follow cognitive advice. That's actually pretty smart. Talk to yourself. Okay, yeah, I talk to myself all the time. I talk to myself all the time now, especially now that I'm alone and you're not in the vicinity

or might not hear me talk to myself. It's been so good. I go, yesterday, my place was a mess. And I go, Nikki, look at this place. It is a mess, but aren't you so, look at this place. It is a mess. But aren't you so cute? Like, look at this. This is the mess.

This is the like hotel room of an 11 year old girl. Like that is so adorable that you still live like a little child sometimes. And like now you're an adult and let's pick it up. And then I start picking. I'm literally saying this out loud to myself. And then I go, I go, at this look at this like I just make fun of it and laugh lightheartedly at things about myself instead of being mean and then I also have um I've started to have conversations with people and yesterday actually I was having a conversation with a man

that I want to like tell some things to but that I can't't. And I was like, what do I want to just do more than this? I was like, Oh, I want to write a song maybe and convey my feelings. And maybe he'll hear that someday. And then I was like, Oh, I'll record a podcast to him that he'll never hear. That'll just be all my thoughts. Like very like, as if I'm like, and the fact that it was a recording made me feel like it would, it like existed, you know know it was a thing as opposed to just talking to myself so i recommend people record podcasts to people they want to say things to because it really felt like i was like talking to him and it got so much of my stuff out so yeah do you ever talk to you talk to yourself it's like a verbal journal essentially is what you do verbal dinner

that's like the railroad from 30 rock do you know 30 rock the when uh jenna is in a movie that no one can know you know jenna who talks like this on 30 rock jane krakowski no you know she's the blonde yeah who's the star okay she is she's she's about to make her uh film debut in a in a movie called The Rural Juror. And no one knows how to say it. Everyone's like, The Rural Juror? The Rural Juror. And she gets interviewed by Barbara Walters, who's played by

Rachel Drash. She's like, I'm here with Jenna Maroney from The Rural Juror. And so whatever I just said was very close to Rural Juror. Oh, what did you say? A verbal journal. I very close to rural journal. Oh, what did you say? A verbal journal. I'm in the verbal journal. It's a new off-broadcast.

It also reminds me of attorney Bob, blah, blah, blah. Oh my God. Bob, blah, blah. If you haven't seen Arrested Development, the attorney's name is Bob, lob, blah, L-O-B-L-A-W. So he goes, my name's Bob, blah, blah. And then he had a law blog and it was

blah blah blah blah blogs law blog blah blah blogs it's bob i love that shit that's so fucking funny dude all right so uh pj uh pj novak has a book that is all those things that kids read with their parents and so the parents sound like they're saying insane things and the kids laugh really hard. A whole book of that? Jesus. Yeah. A book where the parents,

you know, it's like, so sofa King, remember sofa King. I am so sofa King. Oh, you've never seen that sofa. The word sofa.

Oh, King. It sounds like you're saying sofa King. No, I haven't seen that one. So it's stuff like that. That's like little devices. I love that book. I got to read that. Okay. Make a're saying sofa king. Yeah, no, I haven't seen that one. So it's stuff like that that's like little devices. I love that book.

I got to read that. Okay, make a social contact. Yeah, for kids. BJ, no. Make a social contact with somebody you have positive regard for. This can be a text, a call, or meet up for coffee. Okay, reach out to someone. Make human contact.

That makes sense. God, I want to talk more about rituals, but maybe we'll save it for the final thought. Yeah, we can just get to the fifth one, I guess. Incorporate gratitude. Yes, gratitude. Journal, essentially. Okay.

No, gratitude. That's the best thing. Just have a friend where you send every day three things you're grateful for. It can be the dumbest thing. And you will drop off within four days of doing this, but then just find another friend to do it. And then you send gratitude lists every day, and it truly helps you be happier uh okay did they fall off or they stop talking to you no they you just fall off you and then that friend yeah you kind of don't talk to them again because that's all like because you're so ashamed that you didn't send your gratitude list and they

sent one that was noah sent the best ones noah and i were doing it for a while and hers would be like just so poetic they were really good noah did that make you Noah and I were doing it for a while and hers would be like, just so poetic. They were really good. Noah, did that make you happier when we were doing that for like, what did we do it? Like maybe less than a week. We did it like twice.

I'm so sorry that I fell off. No, but it's nice to even do once. I mean, it was very hard. We don't have to be perfect. If you are like, want to be vegan one day of your life,

like that's better than no days. And if you want to do a gratitude list with a friend one time that you should do every day but one time is better than no time it definitely made me realize that it's so much easier to complain than to be grateful for things yeah it really is so we should start doing it i did a pitch originally that on the podcast we end with gratitude i was doing that on my old one a little bit but it's hard to do okay let's get to why do i care let's focus on the negatives why do i care oh man why do you care uh glenn close does did you watch the oscars last night i watch i saw this live okay so yeah glenn close did the butt is that the Is that it Dance after losing The record Eighth She lost

Her record Eighth Oscar That's hilarious I didn't know that So Little Rel Did this thing Guess that song I mean

I told you last night It felt like wild and out Like there was a DJ I know it's like Questlove was DJing It was a very like Cool event Like it felt like

And they It was very The Oscars were Not white Last night very like cool event. Like it felt like, and they, it was very, um, the Oscars were not white last night. They were not white. And I, I, I liked that a lot.

Like I was like, wow, they only are cutting to people in the audience that are black. They are only playing black artists. They are only having black presenters for like a big part of the show. And I was like, fuck yeah. I mean like they,

I like that they go, we're not going to try to make it look like we're doing this naturally we are just all in because we fucked up before and we're going all in and i i liked that lil rel though i will say that was a hell gig that having to like just play the room and talk to celebrities and trust that i mean he they pointed people out for him to talk to what's her name was hilarious. Did you see that moment with, um, I don't even know her name. Hold on.

Oh yeah. Where he goes. Yeah. Purple rain. He's like, is this an Oscar nominated song and Oscar winning song or did it wasn't nominated for an Oscar? And she goes,

he has the microphone to, uh, Andra day. And, uh, she, who I don't know what she's from, but,

um, she was hilarious. She goes, well, it was probably wasn't know what she's from but um she was hilarious she goes well it was probably wasn't nominated because she goes well it's a great song it's one of the best songs so it probably wasn't even nominated because that's what happens and he goes you're right it wasn't nominated and she goes figures and it was just like so good that she was like the great things by black artists don't get never got acknowledged. So it was probably, it was, it was just such a good burn. I loved it. She said some,

like something about like, that's some bullshit. Um, but then, yeah, him going around, it was like, it was not fun.

That was a fucking hell gig. And I said that I was great on Twitter. I said, I was grateful. I did not get asked. Like if, if they'd asked me to do a gig like that, which I'm close to the point, I would say in a couple, a year or so, I'll be at that level where they, I get asked to do a gig like that, which I'm close to the point, I would say in a couple a year or so I'll be at that level where I get asked to do big shit like that.

And it's a big opportunity to bomb wildly. And it sucks because you've got to take those gigs. But I'm so glad I haven't been asked to them yet because it's scared. Scary. What was that? Sorry, Noah. What's a hell gig a hell gig is just as a stand-up you get asked to do like an event that the it's not conducive to being hilarious and they don't know that

the people that organized it didn't know it they don't realize that you know comedians notoriously bomb at these shows. I watched Ricky Gervais' Golden Globes from a couple years ago last night. I retweeted it if you want to see it. It's so fucking good. He's a little bit self-congratulatory of like, oh, fuck it, I'm being totally crazy up here.

But the shit he got away with saying, I'm shocked by some of it. And some of it's such good jokes, but the celebrities reacting to them i was just i said probably 22 times watching his seven minute monologue because they're all scoffing like oh that's oh it is interesting like watching laugh i was watching the oscars last night or whatever and uh part of me my initial initial reaction, if I'm going to be completely honest, I was like, what about the sanctimony of the Oscars? Like, remember watching like old Oscar clips and it's like Al Pacino going up there and being like, yes, I am an actor.

And everyone's like, you are an actor. We changed the world through our acting. And it's like this, like you couldn't even joke or any it was so serious but it was yeah but it was the only award show it was like the last every award show now i get that like but so at first i was like well can't we have one award show that actually it's like very like i don't know like uptight and like takes itself seriously. But doesn't everyone know that isn't this, for me seeing the Golden Globes on Zoom, it just sucks all of the bullshit out of it.

All of this is bullshit. I know, but the people, yeah, it's like the king and queen in England. You can't go back. You can't go back once you've seen that these, like to me, I feel like I've done LSD or something when it comes to like hollywood like acting like these picture these motion pictures and that the the world of of

and seeing behind the scenes and seeing how like crew are just doing their fucking job and this yes it is passion a passion project obviously i'm passionate about my art and comedy and I'm moved deeply by things, but acting like these people are any more important than the person who takes your trash out. And I mean that the infrastructure that, that takes is our waste management should be celebrated in the same way. There's no, it actually should be celebrated more. So the idea that like we have any sort of reverence for artists beyond any other reverence we have for people is so dumb and misplaced by our society celebrity is so stupid i reap the benefits of it but it is so dumb and the oscars is the epitome of it and it's been dismantled and i hope i hope everyone i hope they all get knocked off their pedestals. I saw, I saw a brilliant tweet on Reddit the other day that was like, wouldn't it be funny

if tomorrow we all just agreed to stop caring about celebrities and just like see what happened to them? Like what they would do? Like if we all just like, cause that could happen, but it won't because people, uh, love the cult of worship and. And keep listening to this podcast and follow. No, this brings you happiness. This is not, not this is anything but we are better than you but this is me saying we are not better than you no one's better than you and these fucking oscars where women put on these satin

dumb outfits that are a piece of work in and of themselves and yes we can celebrate that and say we like the glitz and the glamour of the Oscars. But thinking that this is special, thinking that you need this, the whole idea of luxury and the fact that you need a separate fork for a different salad, it's all bullshit, you guys. Forks work all the same way.

Everything that rich people do is so over the top just to remind you that they're rich and that they feel better than you. That little second salad fork, the little fucking like anything, anything. It just disgusts me. But it also I love it. You know what?

These things feel nice and look nice. You know, I love that fork analogy. That was really amazing. Honestly, the the I think we should have listeners write in and we could do like the best garbage man or the best and have people write in and why they're the best at their job and we'll have our own little oscars here of like that's a good idea and it's a guy named oscar yeah oscar who's in the trash can but the trash man is taking out boom it is a the oscars are just gonna be the oscar the grouchars are just going to be the, uh,

Oscar to Grouch Awards. Yeah. That's going to be the trophy. Okay. Let someone get on that. Noah. Okay. Why do I care?

That's why I care. Let's get on to the segment for the day. Listener mail. My favorite. I love hearing from our fans. Thank you so much. You know what I want to do is I want to start, uh,

get getting fans to leave voice memos and, and recordings for us, short recordings so that we can hear from you and hear your voice and listen to you on air uninterrupted because, yeah, we'll just play it and then listen. But let's start out with some emails. Listener mail. Okay, here we go. Andrew's stock. This go. Andrew's Stock. This is regarding Andrew's Stock. This is from Gwen. Best friend here having a great day

with all the swells. Oh, good to hear that, Gwen. I just wanted to mention that I can hear in Andrew's voice a definite before after getting some and an after getting some in his voice. His inflection and tone reading the news is totally different. He, like any of us would be, is getting some in his voice. His inflection and tone reading the news is totally different. He, like any of us would be, is totally happier in his delivery.

I can't be the only listener who notices. Love you all. Your best friend, Gwen. Thanks, best friend, Gwen. Andrew, what do you think? I guess I have a lot of stock. When I hold up my stock, it gets to the back of my throat, and it causes me not to read as well yeah yeah

phlegm is also cum apparently acid reflex is cum reflux yeah cum reflux and then i had a lot of cum in my esophagus apparently and and once i got it all out your boy sure could say big words again i think there's something to that like god if i'm uh if i'm just like if you're well maybe it's your stock i mean i like i i don't find a difference in my tone after i've like come a sense like but if i've if i've been loved up and i'm like in love i'm like very relaxed like i guess there's no better feeling than that but is when you're, is your mood like dictated by like, oh, after you spend a night with your lady who you have a lot of fun with sexually? Is your mood the next day like I like her so much or is it like I came like relaxed? Like it's so different for men.

I'm kind of curious. I guess it's both. I mean, I I do feel very happy and giddy today i don't know if it's because your boy had sex so much or he rode on a lime scooter when it was 75 degrees and perfect i mean i'm sure it all adds up yeah um but yeah i mean when she leaves like part of me i do still love my space you know i'm not i'm gonna be i'm not gonna. Like I like laying in bed and being able to like, there's little things like being on your phone and watching a YouTube as loud as you can about a UFC fight and not thinking like I'm ignoring someone.

Yeah. But again, that is up to her to put an end to. You could still do that stuff. Maybe not as loud as you want because be mindful of someone next to you, but you should be able to watch your phone like um yeah i that that is a thing like when you're with someone you don't when i wanted to watch like my videos of like my bedtime videos of like people having their warts dissected from their feet it's kind of a hard thing to break out in bed next to someone who you're falling asleep with who you just had like an intimate lovely evening and you're like good night sweetie and you're like

holding his hand while one hand is on your phone looking up videos of a debridement of a really scabby like not scabby but like very callousy wart on a foot and it's a video that you favorited and watched every night and it's now losing its luster because there aren't enough wart videos on YouTube. Noah is laughing so hard. Have I come out with my wart obsession on this show yet? Yes, many times. A couple of times. I don't think I have.

Noah had it. Noah would know. No, she definitely has. I maybe alluded to it. Not enough. Wait, I have to just say, Noah loves it. The first time Noah heard about my my wart obsession so let me just for our listeners who might be deeply confused you know how people like pimple popping videos well

not your girl nikki not nick nick likes videos of planter warts on the bottoms of people's foot that has like calluses growing over it like that have hard skin on it i like them to be scraped out and like carved out and i actually if you have a planter wart i'm talking to you best friends on the bottom of your foot your boyfriends or something oscar what maybe it's oscar what do you mean it's named oscar no the grouch right why would oscar have? He might have a wart. I'm just saying we could kill two birds. What is he even made of in the bottom of him? Who? He's in the trash can. Oscar.

An actual guy that takes out the trash. I'm saying the guy that writes in that's okay. Never mind. Just whatever. I mean, I don't know what you were talking about at all. And I don't know if that's just me. Anyway, if you do have a planner's wart, will you please send me pictures of it? I'm not kidding you.

It will make me happy. I know this is gross. I know it doesn't make sense. I don't know why I like it. I don't like pictures of pimples popping or ingrown hairs being scraped out. People love those things, and there's millions of videos.

Will you please dissect your wart and put it on YouTube for me, please? Can I ask a question? Tag me in it. I'm serious. I will watch it every night. I'll watch it more than I literally watch Veep. No one's dying laughing.

I'm sorry, but this is just true. Please DM me. I'm not even joking. It's not a sexual thing. It just really soothes me. And I want to, and if you would let let me i would like to dissect your wart if like we become friends and i come to your town and you go nikki i'll come over to your hotel room before your show and i you won't be weird with me and it won't be sexual and i get to like take a razor

to your wart i will bring my own scalpel i'll b y o b or b y o s um i would i would be down to to meet up with you and And send me your tits. And I better... Instead. Oh, yeah, and send Andrew your tits. So send warts to Nikki, tits to Andrew. And no tit warts. No warts on any part of your body

other than your fingers or your bottom of your feet because I need to be very calloused region. I don't want a face wart. That's not what I'm into. Or a cock wart. You don't want a cock wart. No, no, no, no. I do not want those cockwarts it's where uh harry potter i think

got yeah that's where he learned bdsm um all right next listener mail double-sided card from amy you want to read it nick yes all right to touch on the whole double-sided card with a heartfelt note, this is what I said was a good birthday gift. I thought, that was until I said the best birthday gift, a picture of a wart. I found a card my dad wrote to my mom before they were married, and it was so sweet. I started reading it, and I

was tearing up. Then I kept going. My tears started to turn to horror when he got very detailed about things that turned him on about my mom. And when I say detailed, I mean detailed. I read that letter five years ago. To this day, I can't look my parents in the eyes the same way. I said, please tell us what happened. I wrote back to this DM. I said, I'll read it on air if you'll let me. I'll just say Amy. I won't say your full name. He said, she goes, oh, that's fine. he talked about liking her anus hairs and the taste

of her the next time i'm at their house i'll find it when they're not there and get better lines it was horrific i feel nauseated but it started so sweet and innocent and i was like oh my dad is so sweet and now i just see a pervert who likes my mom's butthole oh my god amy there's something about amy that was so much better than I ever could have thought I just love the idea of a guy like dipping a feather in ink and then writing anus hairs you know what I mean like it's so much my dearest Juliet it's so much funnier handwritten naughty letter it's so much funnier dude the that a guy that is what i want i the bar has been raised by amy's father for a man i want a man to love my anus hairs if i can find a man to love my anus hairs let alone like me watching wart scraping videos next

to him as he sleeps but like if if a man can go i love the hair around your anus and I don't want you to shave it anymore and even when you do that's cute too whatever you want to do that's true love that is true love that's so sweet he's like the fifth and sixth hair just speak to me the seventh and eighth not so much but the five and six

there's more than that down there oh I mean I wasn't that was just getting started I would be so disgusted oh you were gonna go on for a while we got probably 1100 down yeah um i'm serious i bet there's about 1100 hairs near your anus um i if i found this letter from my dad though to my mom i would uh ask for legal separation from my parents and not talk to them again and i'm not like i i could not handle this i could i would rather find out my dad had a second family than he enjoyed my mom's anal hairs. But for you, it'd be the nicest thing a man can do.

But for me, I can't wait for my kids to discover this letter from my future husband. Wouldn't you feel like your dad is romantic? Wouldn't you think your dad's full of romance if it's something that you would want? I know, but I can't, the that's the that's the rub you know the not the rub but it's the uh paradox of you know wanting something and knowing something means true love and also not being uh not allowing it to be something that your parents would do like when your parents kiss you're like ew but it's like why don't you want your parents to i want my parents to fuck i don't want my dad to write about my mom's anal hairs but

but do i maybe i do that's what i'll know i truly love my parents when i want them to love each other's anal hairs final thought for the show noah what did i want to go our rituals in the morning um i i can i say my morning routine Because it's changed since I was a better person. Yeah. I'm not, I, um, I used to meditate every day. First thing in the morning for years, I would wake up. If I had dogs, you know, I walk my dogs, but actually usually I'd make them wait and meditate with me.

It's only 20 minutes. Go out to my couch or sit up in bed, meditate for 20 minutes, do some TM and then set my alarm and then get up. Usually brush my teeth before that. Cause my breath stinks. And then I would go, uh, not eat breakfast and then head to work, get ready for work, whatever. Now I get up and I instantly eat two bowls of oatmeal and then I don't meditate. And then I jump into my day. I don't have any self-reflection in the morning. And that's okay. That's the best thing about meditation is that like the fact that I'm not doing it is okay. And like meditation is so forgiving that even when you're not doing it, it's like part of the practice. I know that sounds crazy, but like just being okay with whatever I can get done in the day

that is nurturing. But I, yeah, for, it's been exactly a year today that I have not skipped a meal or that I've also not eaten in bed and yeah, that I've eaten at least three meals a day and not eaten in bed and or eaten in the middle of the night like gotten up in the middle of the night and eaten it has been exactly one year today that i stopped that behavior so if anyone out there struggles with that behavior and you want to know how i stopped you could definitely dm me but that because i've learned to just take care of myself in that way like i don't get to skip breakfast anymore which is everyone's favorite thing to do um that is more

important to me than meditation and hopefully i can add meditation in afterwards to like digest but it's just hard to it's hard to sit down and meditate i get it now when people used to say it it didn't used to be hard it was just my habit do you have any habits in the morning andrew um you don't even brush your teeth in the morning most times that's not true i i i want to know if you brush your teeth at night i did i did i wonder that for a while uh sometimes i mean i'm not give me a percentage of when you brush your teeth at night well first of all 12 hours ago i had a california roll in bed so we can start there we dipped in soy sauce and sauce. And I'm a big soy sauce on the sheets guy.

It's very tough to keep soy off the sheets. That's a great lyric, yeah. But yeah, I brush my teeth in the shower. So if I shower at night, your boy's brushing. But you don't do it before you go to bed if you don't shower. Because you don't shower before bed. A lot of times I do. I do, a lot. You don't know what i'm doing in there but you got to admit like i'm not trying to admonish

you but i really do think your oral hygiene is important do you you don't floss i do know that that's not true i've given you floss sticks but you just chew on the plastic you don't actually they're delicious i know you use them to chew. You don't use them to actually floss. That helps. I'm sure some floss gets in there when you're chewing on them. That's true. No, I like picking. I pick and I do.

I'm not an habitual flosser. No, you're right. Can I just ask you to be completely honest here? I'm trying to be, but I feel like- I won't attack you. I promise I won't. Literally, I will not. I just want you to have a better oral hygiene. I want you to get honest with yourself. How often... Because this is true. Death creeps in through the gums, people. That's how people die is they get diseases. And so many diseases that we can't

even trace to the gums are going to be later on in life. You're going to learn is gum related. So how often are you brushing your teeth twice a day? What percentage of days of, uh, do you get in the morning and night? Both? I would say 25%. And then what percentage of times do you go to bed and you haven't brushed your teeth within eight hours? I mean, I guess that number would be kind of similar now. No, I mean, like two times a day could be any, you know, I don't know when you you might have bad breath. And so you don't brush enough before I go to bed. I'll tell you. You got it.

You got it. Before you go to bed. All right. Try to make it 100 percent. And then in the morning, my morning routine is I watch probably 28 TikToks in bed. Still half asleep. I'd like to really see what that number is. It might be 58.

You know what I mean? People think their TikToks is like 28. I would love to hear what people think, how many they watch, and how many they do. That's interesting. That's a good study. You know what? Honestly, though, all joking, like sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and I'll be so sad and depressed and hate myself so much.

And so much of that goes away just naturally within like 10 minutes of that thought. Wait, so that's when you get depressed? Is it like right in the morning when you woke up because you feel like you ate too much the night before. I don't know. It's not really just what is it? It's just like related to deeper. I don't it's not a specific thing, but it always goes away once I shower.

And like so what I've noticed is it's like take that thought, but don't beat yourself up more than it's already beating you up because you will feel better in 10 minutes from then. If you check in on the, see how the Beckham family is doing, you know, don't, don't take that. And I've been doing this too recently with thoughts because everyone has to

remember that your feelings, you know, your mood, your bad mood, your whatever, it's all based on your thoughts. So like I had something this weekend happened to me that was like like a really like I was shaken by something that happened to me and I had this whole

night of plans and I was like all of a sudden consumed with thoughts about this thing that oh my god I've done something wrong I have to address it all this stuff and then I was like wait all those things are thoughts all the things that are flooding through my mind are literally my like thoughts that I'm having, which is like, I, my life has changed now. I have to make a decision. This could happen. This could happen. Oh my God. What if he does this? What if she does that? What if like all these thoughts and I go, nothing actually has changed. Like a text was sent to me that alarmed me, but nothing in my life has changed. I'm still getting ready for this dinner. I'm going to, there's still going to be a live

band there. There's still people on this Island that I want to meet. So I was like, you know what? I can deal with these, these thoughts. I can just dodge under like waves in the ocean. So I can get out to the calm waters and these thoughts will, I can, they'll be back if they're important enough, but nothing is actually pressing enough for me to ruin my night and be in a bad mood all night because of this thing that just came out of nowhere. And so I dodged those thoughts because they didn't need to be addressed. And I had a great night and I dressed in geek chic because every party on the island is a theme party. And I went to our friend, Michael, uh, Robin couldn't go cause she was sick, but I went to Michael's, uh, like this fundraiser for his work with people from his work.

I set a table of all lawyers. I danced to a live band without a mask on with other people and like had, you know, close conversations at a table without a mask on. And I was able to enjoy this place I'm living in without staying home. And literally most people, I have to say most people, given my circumstance of what happened to me on the news I got on Saturday and Friday would have curled up on the couch in a ball and cried all weekend. But I did not do that because I acknowledge that these, my life is not different because of what these people might think of me, their thoughts, or even my thoughts about their thoughts. And I'm still fighting it every moment of my waking life

that the thoughts come in. But you can dodge those thoughts, people, whatever is going on in your life that is like this to you today. That's like my son needs that thing done for school on Friday or my husband isn't talking to me like your life. My dad loves my mom's anus hairs. My dad loves my mom's anus hairs like those things. If if you didn't know about the dad's mom's anus hairs, what would your life be? Imagine that because you really can't do anything about the mom's dad's anus hairs. It happened and like you have no control. Easier said than done with problems that are beyond mom's anus hairs or just getting a text from someone that you didn't want to get a text from.

But I got to go. And that's my statement of the day. Thank you for listening. We'll be here tomorrow andrew great show noah great show besties great show and uh yeah see you tomorrow okay i'll see you soon okay john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more.

Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.