The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #227 A Slow Pressure

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

Nikki looked into "praise kink" and understands her preferences a little bit more. She has KBT's but that didn't spoil her weekend at Solid Sound Music Festival and getting closer to Wilco (Please listen to her new favorite song Story To Tell). You Heard It Here First, there is no template for sex frequency, likes and dislikes are both bad and Nikki enjoyed the new Sheryl Crow doc so much that she is beginning to sound like her. In her Reddit Dump Nikki shares her relatable and funny finds. Check out the video version of the show on The Nikki Glaser Podcast Channel on YT.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You are cord usually invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf.

Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid.

Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune into my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration. It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast.

Here's a while ago. Here's Nikki. Oh my God, here I am. It's Nikki, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Are you stroking? I might be Jesus Christ I was getting my hair done yesterday And the girl thought There was an earthquake And she was like Oh no I think I'm just having A body problem Like she was just like There's an earthquake I was talking about pedophilia

At the time So maybe it was a Change of subject But I was going into A lot of detail At a high volume Because there's You know blow dryers

Going off nearby About how Everyone's been molested So maybe it was A change of subject but she was actually this girl that does my hair um it is a good code word earthquake yeah i mean it really brings things to a stop definitely where were you here here in st louis are there a lot of earthquakes there has been like we are on the new new madrid fault line oh new new I wanted to say New Madrid, but no, we pronounce it New Madrid here.

But it's spelled Madrid? Yeah. Love that. So yeah, we're on a big fault line. Yeah. Sorry, what were you saying? I don't even know. Oh, I'm stroking out today

because I forgot that we just, I've been having really short-term memory loss that is different than when I smoked pot, where it would be like, it would happen all the time but sometimes i just i do something and literally seconds later i'll be like we need to do that thing and they're like we just did it it's really it doesn't scare me for some reason even though it probably should yeah because it's just such like what's a great example right now like when we we snap so that when the video editors can all know, we do the little thing they have in movies

where it's a clipboard and you're going, that black and white thing. That really is a thing that's in movies. People don't know that that actually exists in TV and stuff. It seems like a fake product. I feel like everyone knows it from Wayne's World. Remember three, two, and they always would say, they would always go one and like don't say it and you don't say the one i don't know but you hear you see so many videos where people go one

and they're like hi and you hear the person taping say one um anyway i just been having those go yes go and or just someone's face just going from like dead to like on. And, you know, we talk about that all the time. I was just doing a bunch of press for our show. It's going international. It just debuted in South Africa, Romania, and Canada. So I was just talking to a bunch of South African journalists and just having that Zoom moment of like the interview's over and just being like, thank you, and like keeping the smile going.

Because I still feel happy. It wasn't fake, but it's hard to just not drop your face immediately. So you've been repeating to yourself, you feel like. Do you forget other things? Like sometimes in the shower I'll forget that I just washed my whole body, and then I'll go, did I wash my body? You know, things like that. Little things like that I forget a lot. Yeah, I'll do my whole body. And then I'll go, did I wash my body? You know, things like that. Little things like that I forget a lot.

Yeah, I'll do stuff like that. I'll be like, did I put those clothes in the dryer? Or did I pick up that thing on the ground that I meant to pick up? And then I'll go back and look and go, it's gone. Yeah, I picked it up, I guess. I don't know where I put it. Now that's a whole nother conundrum.

But you know, little things like that that you're supposed to pay attention to, I think as you get older, it'll be like, but it's not to the point where it doesn't matter if I remembered or not, if we clicked. Like, that's okay. I can have that. I don't know when you start being alarmed, I guess. When people start going, hey, we want to talk to you about something.

And they like have this tone with you. Like, so we've noticed. Like, that's when hopefully you forget that is that passive aggressive that voice or is that just passive passive i don't even know what that voice is but gosh is it triggering do you know whose voice is so triggering i put on my instagram story the other day tucker carlson obviously is just the i'd rather listen to you know well i was just gonna say something really dark but i won't go there but i just picked the worst thing that you could ever listen to, you know, well, I was just going to say something really dark, but I won't go there. But I just picked the worst thing that you could ever listen to. You get in a blow dryer and you're talking about pedophilia?

Yeah. I'd rather listen to someone mouth off about pedophilia over blow dryers. Hamdrip earthquake. Same episode. But I just, the way he talks is like, and sometimes we don't do that. Like he talks like, I said it on my answer, he talks exactly in the same tone you would talk to someone, to a child about like, well, tonight you have to go to bed early because Santa's coming. And sometimes Santa will bring you presents. And sometimes he doesn't.

Like it is this cadence and this rhythm that is, I i i know that's part of people go well you know because they are children he's talking to people that have are simple-minded and so you have but it's not it's something there's something a little hypnotic about it it's like a rhythm he does but i don't i can't stand being talked to like a child and he talks to like but he's kind of talking like and the liberals want you to think this like he talks about liberals and the way we talk like we're talking about sanda i don't know it's just i couldn't believe i realized he talks like he's talking to children yeah i hate him so much i don't think i've ever hated anyone more than him and i just i and someone said the other day he's getting more and more attractive

and how that's irritating. He is a good-looking man. He looks like a captain of a lacrosse team. He has the woof haircut. I just don't like his tone. Don't have that tone with me, Tucker. I just want to see his drop face. He called you a good girl while he had that tone

and he said you're doing a great job no because i knew it would it would be fake he wouldn't be actually meaning it which by the way good girl i looked it up last night i didn't even look it up i was on reddit of course going to bed and someone was talking about one of the reddit threads was what's something you're into sexually that your family would be shocked to find out about you or like the normal person and people are like anything because it's my family it's gross but I think that's an interesting question like your friends like if Noah was into something and I was like

wait what Noah dividing of the balls with her nose yeah that was a good one but anyone like Noah who's like soft spoken and like has a chipperness and well i would think for you would be leaning they'd be more shocked that you've only had sex with one person like it's the opposite effect for you well i think because people expect you to love like

roasting i think makes people think i'm like dominant and like want to be like oh yeah fucking small balls and your dumb little dick i'm gonna fucking dominate you pussy oh you want that you think you want that like that kind of thing you should do that more often that did feel pretty cool it would be kind of fun to do because i was reading last night and people that are sub subs also like to be dominant so i think that i could be good at being like because sometimes you know i don't want to get into any details about my sex life uh currently because it's just perfect and i want to keep it that way by not talking about it explicitly. But there are times where I do feel like putting a little bit of like, no, this is happening and you can't fight it.

I know that turns me on so much. much of the porn that i watch which is i go to um reddit and i typed in forced orgasms which is my favorite subgenre it's where like girls are tied up and like being forced to come like a ton of times but now there's a lot more men on those also having forced orgasms where women tie them up and like are like you can't come but like try to make them so it's becoming more i've been following this subreddit never actually following it because i don't want that on my like record but going to the subreddit for years now and now it's just probably 20 men being tied up having it done to them and there's something about it where i have learned so much what i like as someone who is a sub that i feel like i do a really good job at being a dom

because I know exactly what we wanna hear. And sometimes when dominant people are following into that role, just because their person likes to be a sub, not necessarily that they are naturally a dominant person, that sometimes they don't get it exactly right because they don't know what it's like to want that. But I know what it's like to want it,

so I can probably give it pretty good. If that makes sense. It is funny when someone's being a sub, but then also wanting you to do what they want. So they are dominant while subbing. It's a tricky, tricky game I play where I'm like, you know, I'll go,

um, do whatever you want to me. Also a little slower. I'll just go, you know, I'll just say, ah, no, no. Like I'll just, I'll just, if you want to me, also a little slower. I'll just go, you know, I'll just say, I don't know, like I'll just, I'll just, if you, you know, if I have an understanding with partners that I engage in this kind of stuff with

where it's like, there's, I've never explicitly had like safe words, but there's a tone. I go, please stop doing, I do a Tucker, I have a little bow tie on that's strangling me um yeah there's a tone where i go no more like i don't like being slapped i just don't i don't like it shocks me i like a slow like pressure i don't like out of nowhere um but then sometimes i do like that if it's gentle enough but like there have been times where it's like oh

we that falls in line with the rest of the stuff I like, but no, no to that. And then I just go like, like I, I'll just do it as a character. Like, um,

like I want to be good, but I just don't like being slapped. Like I'll do it as the care, like, and he's like, get it, you know? But,

um, I was reading about, cause I've always been like, okay, what am I really into? And when I look in porn, I can't, there's, I've always been like Mike the Men, Mike the Men, which is what that girl, this girl made me in LA. She's a graphic designer artist.

And she made me a kind of collage with my face on it. It says Mike the Men on it. Because I just want men to be more miked in porn. Because I want to hear them say the things that I want to hear which is good girl like no oh you think you're gonna do that no that's so sweet you can't oh look at you like I like that kind of um attitude you like grunting from a man because I found that women like picking up things yeah like oh god your fucking bag's 49.6 pounds. No, no, like. It's like 49.89, 89, 89. Taking out a hair dryer.

Yeah. No, like right before we come kind of thing. Like, oh. I love a orgasm sound on the guy. Love it. And I like when guys make noise like, oh, my God. And that's what I realize. Like holding it back almost.

Yeah. Yes. I realized last Like holding it back almost. Yeah. Yes. I realized last night, the thing that I'm specifically into that I didn't know how to name for it and I've always heard, but I didn't really put it together is a praise fetish.

I like praise kink, which is, you know, good girl falls into that, but also like, it's a wide, wide array of things. But if you like hearing like compliments on your body

compliments on how tight you are compliments on how big your dick is if you like being shrouded in compliments you might have a praise fetish and they got into the psychology of it which i find is interesting because most people for me at least i don't like compliments because i feel awkward with them sometimes and you feel like you don't deserve them now when you are being forced to take them on when you're in this like kind of fantasy world of sex it becomes easier to have all these compliments and it's also humiliating in a way to get complimented a lot of us feel humiliation when people compliment us too much and so humiliation is already a kink in and of itself so a lot of times people have a praise fetish because it's a part it's partially

humiliation because they're so embarrassed that they're getting all this praise about how hot they are or whatever. But I really definitely have a praise fetish to a degree where it's like, but there's gotta be, I wanna find a name for it of what I'm into,

which is being told I can't until I've been like, I've proven myself and then I can and that I've begged enough I feel like a lot of times in porn girls are like please can I come and the guy's like no and then she's like please and they're like sure and I'm like no make her work for it a bit more there's more than just one no like get mad at her if she does like I love when I know this is getting really kind of too pornographic but no my favorite porn is when the guy is like the girl's tied up or whatever and he's doing stuff to her and he's

like you can't come and then she and he's like doing everything he can to make her like that's always what I ask for I'm like you do everything you can to make me come and you tell me I can't and if I do come I've disappointed you and I'm in trouble and i'm gonna have to pay for it like that is my kink and i feel like the the best the one that i like the most is um oh god what was i i was on a tangent then i forgot fucking ham drip um so when a guy says you can't you can't tries to make you you beg and you beg and then you do it anyways yeah oh yeah Oh, yeah, that's it. When they, my favorite. And this happens very rarely. If you ever find a porn where this happens, please send it to me.

Please, please, please, please, please. Because there's no category for it. The girl sneaks one in and the guy catches her. Because you can sneak orgasms by just like, you know, not screaming, not doing stuff. And just, but your muscles can track down there. So like anyone who has enough knowledge of what a female body does when it has an orgasm will know when it's actually happening,

just because even if your face is like, no, I'm not, and when people go, did you just cum? Oh, you think I wouldn't notice that, like getting busted for it? Oh! And then my other one

that I super can't find anything for is when a girl like when perverted teachers and i know that there's tons of those perverted male teachers um bring in a girl and she and they like make her not make her do stuff but they're like oh we're gonna show you like how to do some stuff and they're like very gentle very nice to her and she feels like kind of like she has to do this because they're like older teachers like elders of the church wait who's the girl a student oh okay a hot student and she's just like curious and wants the stuff but she also feels like am i gonna get in trouble and they're like no the only way you won't is if you do it here under the safe circumstances kind of like you can drink but only if you drink around me kind of thing i love that but it's and i like creepy gynecologists i

mean it's i'm all over the fucking place creepy gynecologists gynecologists that don't fuck you but they like do stuff with their fingers i don't like because every gynecologist video it always the guy ends up fucking the girl or like she and it's very obvious i like where the girl's like is this happening and the girl's like having an orgasm but like almost ashamed she is because she's like this isn't supposed to feel good but like it's having and the girl likes it by the way that never is the girl and not that there's any shame and if you do like things where the girl's like i don't like this because to each their own rape fantasies fantasies are a thing. They are not rape. They're fantasy.

But for me, I like when the girl's like, I like this and I feel guilty that I like it. I think someone could diagnose me with a personality disorder based on what I just said. I mean, I think everything you're saying aligns with people that like stepmom porn. It's like you can't have it. I can't get into that yet.

You can't. What do you mean? I want to, but I won't let myself. Like there's something about like a stepdad or like a dad making the girl like go down on her stepmom or something that I got to be honest. It is intriguing to me. I don't have step parents, but like bringing parental things into it obviously is so taboo and wildly popular. Yeah, well, stepsister is probably number one. But I don't have any step-siblings, so I can't.

As someone that has them, it doesn't. It doesn't do it for you? No, no. It just doesn't. I don't. My brain doesn't go, hey, man, I got a stepsister. Melanie, I could jerk off to this. It doesn't really connect that way for me.

But I don't have church elders either, and I still want that fantasy. I don't go to the gynecologist. I've been waiting to get into one for years. None of them will... It's like getting meds for your... I'm like, will you also check out my asshole? They're like, no, we don't do that here. I go, most of the stuff I watch online,

you guys are doing all the holes. You think urology goes into the proctology? I mean, most of the stuff I watch online, you guys are doing all the holes. You think urology goes into the proctology? I mean, might as well. I just love any – A three-for-one, like a BOGO? I don't know how people don't watch porn. I've been trying to use my imagination. I've gotten far, but not far enough.

It's just there's something – It almost feels like when Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Remember when they're farting to keep afloat burping burping okay well that was a different that was a porn i watched yeah that was um you know that when they're queefing so they can stay alive yeah um but you know how they're trying to keep like they keep falling and they keep trying to burp to like oh get it more up and up that's how i feel with fantasies is i get up high and then it starts to fall and I just can't. I can't keep it.

I keep trying to keep the fantasy in the air and it starts to dissolve away. My brain does not keep a storyline going. And it's not because of my ADD. It's not because of my short-term memory. Wait, this is when you try to masturbate without porn? With a fantasy where I'm like, okay, let's just run like my ideal scenario of something that could actually happen in my life and i start going with it it's i used to start searching porns that you actually are more closer to you like the idea of like you haven't been to a gynecologist in a while you don't have elders it's such a fantasy

but that might be hard to keep up because it's so far away from you no there are no fantasies of like backstage after a show this comedian who has struggled to find love through most of her life and was a virgin until she was 21 and is into anal stuff gets a visit from a you know like it like it just Dave Matthews shows up. Like those fantasies don't really. Who knows? Have you typed that in? I probably have. It's such a long.

I wonder what the record is for someone typing in a specific thing they're looking for in a porn. I've never. I've just started getting paranoid about it. It sounds like you've typed in paragraphs before. I've typed in words and just gotten more specific because there is i just type in like natural tits yeah i know speaking of i've got some man i've i have uh kbts today big time i feel like my my premenstrual cycle starts eight days before i start bleeding

and my boobs hurt so bad today i felt felt like my bones were made of soup. Why do your tits hurt? I just feel heavy and I don't know. They just like are painful. They just feel like, oh, I've had to use a bra that is only like I never even fit in normally. They're just, but they're not like luscious. They're just like, they're like udders.

I just, I feel like disgusting today, but also okay with feeling disgusting. Noah, do you relate? We'll find out after this break. Andrew! Every road leads to another road. If you take two, you'll end up going back. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year.

It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. Bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls, and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community,

and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery, a story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Careful, babe. There's someone crossing the street. Sorry, I didn't see him there. If you feel different, you drive different. Don't drive high. It's dangerous and illegal everywhere.

A message from NHTSA and the Ad Council. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. It's about never feeling good enough. I feel like I'm always failing. You'll learn how to handle relationships, how to be inspiring, and how to find your purpose.

We make it this big pie-in-the-sky thing, and then of course we're all frustrated because no one knows how to get there. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that too.

The ability to approach somebody and make them experience desire for you in minutes or even hours is a rare and rather unnecessary skill, historically speaking. The Happiness Lab's How To Season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Noah, do you get premenstrual symptoms like 18 years before your period even starts and then also five days after it ends so that you never get a break ever

all the time but i i like having wait what does the k stand for in kbt oh kettlebell okay yeah they're kettlebells today yeah so like so like I like having weight. I'm always like walking around just like cupping my boobs just to hold them as they're bigger. Yeah, that is, there's something fun about that. In two days, they're going to be amazing and they'll be like more full. But right now they're just like, they feel, they hurt and they feel like they're pulling on my skin.

And like, it made me feel like what girls must feel like when they get implants and they are still sore from surgery. And I felt a lot of empathy for girls who get their tits done today. It sucks that your tits feel their biggest while also hurting. I know because when guys want to play with them, you can't really get that rough. Or the pain actually feels good, let's be honest with ourselves, if you're into that. Estrogen causes the breast ducts to enlarge. And progesterone production causes the milk glands to swell.

That's why your tits hurt. Oh, okay. Well. Yeah. I guess we learned something today. I learned that I don't want you to ever read about the female anatomy. I got more for you if you need it. The menstrual cycle.

That sounds like my porn search. The longest porn search ever. I went to Wilco this weekend to the Solid Sound Festival in Northampton? You're looking at me. Not Northampton. Outside Albany, right? North Adams.

Massachusetts. Anyway, it's where it's the Berkshires. I didn't know I was in the Berkshires. It's so freaking beautiful. I flew into Albany right? North Adams Massachusetts anyway it's where it's the Berkshires I didn't know I was in the Berkshires it's so freaking beautiful I flew into Albany I was so when I did Carpool Karaoke with Wilco which I talked about on the show they were my favorite band since 2007

and I used to be obsessed with them all these things and over the years I've become an adult and less obsessive. But then, you know, Carpool Karaoke called. They asked who I'd want to do it with. I said Wilco, thinking they were way too cool. We did it.

It was the best time ever. And while I was there, a few months ago in Chicago doing that, they invited me to the Solid Sound Festival, which is their music festival that they, it's like Wilco sponsored and Wilco plays and it's all bands that are friends with Wilco and there's comedy there and I always was like, God, I really wanna go to that. But I don't wanna ask to go,

like I wanted to go perform in the comedy tent and it's John Hodgman is the one that does it, Nick Offerman, it's all these like kind of intellectual comedians that I felt like, Josh Gondelman was there, but every year it's John Hodgman is is the one that puts it together and he's you know an author and you know he was on the daily show just a brilliant guy and I just felt like oh I don't know if I'd even fit in there

and so this year they were like yo yeah you should go they mentioned it in Chicago and I was like okay and it's funny Crystal their manager was like everyone says they'll go but no one ever shows up like you were the only one that's she's like it's really cool that you showed up and I was like okay and it's funny Crystal their manager was like everyone says they'll go but no one ever shows up like you were the only one that's how she's like it's really cool that you showed up and I was like I wouldn't miss this for the world like me and Nick Offerman who played um what's his name on um Parks and Rec he you know he he talks like this he has a mustache and he's grumpy all the time uh on the show he really does talk like this in real life and he is also one of the biggest swanson ron swanson he's also one of the biggest wilco fans ever and we are very similar in that we both love wilco and can't believe we're friends with them like he is exactly like me exactly where and he's been going to this festival for years and years and years he's been

friends with jeff for a while he got jeff on parks and rec and that's how they became friends oh wow but um jeff tweedy the lead singer of wilco and so but i'm i'm there so i got asked to go there i go they throw me on a secret show but i'm really there just to like hang um chris is supposed to go with me my boyfriend the morning of we are going he's not feeling well he missed work the day before we didn't hang out for a couple days because he was feeling sick he does he's testing negative for covid no worries i'm going to the airport he's already there and he's like i just took a test i'm positive i'm going home and i'm like fuck and so i go alone and i'm like it's just gonna be awkward because i feel like i'm already just kind of they loosely invited me but they don't really want me to come you know and i was looking forward to just having that time with chris to like not feel in the way i don't want

to be backstage like hey guys can i hang and jam out and i just was like oh fuck and i'm i'm someone who's constantly around people people think that I like I'm good at doing things by myself but I'm not really booked on this festival no one knows I'm there I just I have no friends there Josh Gottelman's gonna be there but he's not there until Saturday and I get there on Friday morning and but it was awesome because I get on the plane to go and I'm feeling like I should god I wish I had COVID I don't even want to go because these people don't they don't even want me to go and I'm gonna be so awkward and then all of a sudden I see that Wilco's new album Cruel Country drops that morning 21 songs like a almost triple

album and it might be triple but you know on you can't tell on Spotify and I'll like okay I'll just start listening to this just to like gear up for the weekend even though I kind of don't want to learn new music. I just want to see them play the hits. Like I'm glad they have a new album but I'm not ready to like listen to music as hard even if it's Taylor Swifter, we'll go. But then I started listening and it was like

so freaking good and healing and I was still very anxious from like all the turmoil of last week in our country and this album is about our country being like cruel and fucked up but also like loving your country and it's just that it's almost like I was like I can't believe he put up this album like on a week where we needed it so much but the truth is every week stuff happens in America where you go it could have been you know there was a shooting the truth is, every week stuff happens in America where you go, it could have been, you know,

there was a shooting the week before or the week before, you know, like, but this week it was just like, oh, I needed it so much. And I just spent enough time with it

where I heard each song maybe three times and then I selected a couple that I was like, these are my faves. And then that night I get there, I sleep, I get there and I'm too scared

to come out of my hotel room until four and head over to the festival. It's been going since 12. I got in at 12. Is it on Friday? Yeah, and I'm just like too come out of my hotel room until four and head over to the festival. It's been going since 12. I got in at 12. It was on Friday? Yeah, and I'm just too nervous socially to be like, I'm just going to wander around,

but I go over. I wander around by myself. It's just all Wilco fans. When's Anya and Matt getting there? Next day on Saturday. Okay. So then I finally write to Crystal, the manager, who was so nice,

and was like, oh, I'm here just wandering around, and she was like, oh my God, come backstage, and so I go backstage, and I meet i have lunch with nick offerman we are like talking about how much we love wilco and he's talking to me about how he got into writing books and he's just he's he talks exactly like ron swanson but he's the kindest man ever and he's so in love with his wife megan malali you know who plays karen from will and grace but he is like he he's like i can't even believe I'm with her. He remembered that we interviewed him on our show, You Up,

which I didn't think he would even remember. So I didn't do the thing of like, nice to see you again. I was just like, nice to meet you. Because I assumed he wouldn't remember his press tour three years ago. But he was like, I believe I did your show when I was promoting one of my books. And I was like, you did! But that's what I love about you,ki you're so down to earth you're a star like you are a celebrity and people want to have you around

so i just i just like this is one of the things that make you so lovable because you're so humble and like down to earth i have bad self-esteem. Yeah, it just felt like, no, I mean. Yeah, where does the humble, that's the thing is where I'm like, I know, like I have to remind myself, like I'm accomplished. Like I deserve to be here. Like I'm an artist too.

Like everything's okay. You're not less than, even if I didn't have all these, my IMDB didn't look like it does. I still deserve to be there. They asked me to be there. I'm a genuine fan. I don't want to be in the way. I'm not trying to be and um so i get there and i don't know it

was just it was awesome everyone's so nice and that night uh they're like do you want to go side stage i'm like yes like what and so i go side stage And the first night of the show, they play their 21 song new album back to back with no talking in between, just straight through. And there's just something so magical. If you're a music fan out there and you know what it's like to be this obsessive about music and especially your favorite albums, this will never happen to me again

where I have only had exposure to an album of my favorite band for one day where i only know a handful of songs well enough to even pick them out and be like oh i like this one but there's a familiarity there's a sweet spot where it's like i mean wilco never performs for crowds that don't know every single fucking word of their song and if they do it's one song here and there a new song this is a whole album that none of these will go fans had any time to learn and so we're all just just dancing and like just watching not lip-syncing you know like that's hard for me at a concert to just like not know the lyrics i had the best time of my life i cried i i fell in love with songs i fell in love with music i just and then love with music. I just, and then I thought I was being annoying

because I was just so enthusiastic. And I'm the only one on the side, next to the sound guy that's doing all the sound for the monitors that the guys on stage are listening to to hear the music back at them. And he's running around. There's so much crew. I mean, what it takes to put on a music show

versus a comedy show is absurd. It's an amphitheater. It's outside. There's so much crew. I mean, what it takes to put on a music show versus a comedy show is absurd. It's an amphitheater. It's outside. Yeah, it was outside. Okay. And this place, Mass Mocha, if you've been, it's a museum. It is the coolest festival. It was so much.

It was unlike any other festival I've ever, music festival I've been to. It's contained, and it feels like six flags of music festivals. It's very easy to get around. It's paved. It's just well done.'s a great festival but then the second night anyway anya comes but feeling but feeling of first record here like you listen to it first time ever on the plane and i'm like having like a little bit of a sob story for myself like chris can't come and i'm gonna be alone but as someone that you know I think there's

a ton of our listeners that can't listen to new music you're just so stuck on even your favorite artists are old albums yes but what a way to experience it where you go it doesn't even feel new anymore it's like you it feels like part of you yes because of this experience and because you got to and if Chris would have been, I wouldn't have listened to that album. And that night I would have been listening to these songs for the first time, which is not the same as the third and fourth time. It's not. The fourth time you hear a song you love is maybe the best it will ever be.

Right now I'm literally in a honeymoon phase with the song Story to Tell from Cruel Country. Please, besties, get on board with this. It is the saddest, beautiful song i don't even know what it means jeff is so poetic but it starts out i have been through hell on my way to hell and it's just it's just he's funny it's weird it's beautiful and that song i there's nothing better than when i find my new favorite song and i'm in this stage where I'm like I just learned the lyrics to it and I

Now how many times do you listen to your favorite new song? Do you kill it? I kill it. You know what? It's like Ariana Grande, Pete Davidson the flame will burn out but it's too good to not have sex with it constantly. I just can't stop. I guess it's nice though to be a fan

of Wilco which I'm kind of a fan. For my brain, it's hard when it's so lyrical. It isn't, though. This song isn't? Or just in general? Wilco isn't because none of his lyrics make sense. It's all weird. No, for me, though, that's where the lyrical.

Not how I'm trying. Oh, you want it to make more sense. Yeah, but as someone that's a huge fan, it's gotta be fun because, because when songs are so simple, you could beat them to death. And in three days you're like, Oh,

I'm kind of over it because I know every word. It's so easy. My brain, like as it was by Harry Styles. I like that a lot. Yes. That song. I've already,

I'm over it. I fucked it. Yeah. I had a great weekend in New York with as it was. Yeah. And then, um, his other song, Daylight. Daylight, fuck the shit out of that.

We're still seeing each other. Oh, you're cool. Yeah. It's going down on me a lot, but I'm getting tired. It needs to do more. Like the Stern version, the live version, it's nice that it can sometimes shave its beard and be a little bit different.

That's how I feel about the Stern version versus the studio album. I'm like, oh, I want a little bit more of a dirty version of daylight but um i guess what i'm saying with well like to overlook you can if there's going to be a song to over listen to and that you won't get sick of it it's something that is something that you kind of have to put together something melodically it just doesn't go do what you think it's gonna do it surprises you every time but i just want to say so then saturday comes along i sleep until fucking three o'clock in the afternoon i like i was too scared because

i was so drained emotionally from the show the night before and also i was feeling a little depressed i was getting into pms mode the my kettlebell tits were coming in and anya and matt and their friend chris who worked on uh all the songs that I made he's a musician too they came from where they live in New York three and a half hour drive they were coming to hang out and I got them tickets through Wilco who are so nice and just give me anything I want they let me go to the merch booth and they're like just anything

you want just tell them you're Nikki and that Crystal said you can have anything and I was he was the best so because all I used to wear was Wilco stuff so like to now just have like it's like supermarkets sweep or like i feel like one of those kids on the nickelodeon where they used to like let them in toys are us and just grab a bunch of toys that's that's what i'm like there at the wilco merch booth but um so how many things do you grab though when i only did four

yeah i did it there is a limit though but i did tell crystal i have my eye on the jean jacket i don't want to overextend but if there is an extra jean jacket um no i want everything i will literally take everything if crystal's watching this i was modest i want literally every piece of merch and i will wear it every single day and i'm not joking you i want everything but i i was just trying to no it's a to be cool it's an interesting thing though of like going overboard but while trying to

you want everything but you want it to seem like yeah when people go have whatever you want I go can I have everything then and they're like well we didn't mean that

and you're like okay what did you mean we meant one shirt I got a hat I got a short sleeve shirt I got another short sleeve shirt and I got a

sweatshirt that I made that only had an extra large which is what I like cut her down but I got another short sleeve shirt And I got a A sweatshirt that I made That only had an extra Extra large Which is what I like Cut it down But I No I made it a dress

And It was Jeff Tweedy dress And I wore it The second night to the show So I'm side stage The second night And the second night They just do

They play what they want It's just like a fun set Mixed with some of the new stuff That is great And Anya was there We're both side stage no one else's side stage by the way there's not room for anyone else and I feel in the way I feel

annoying but I'm assured that you are not it's fine and all the guys I know all the guys at this point because I did carpool karaoke they're so freaking nice and after the first night some of them said to me like your enthusiasm was so nice for us like how much you were into it and and i didn't know if they were being nice or not but i was like i want to trust that they meant that and so tonight i'm just gonna really enjoy myself and um so the second night i went on you oh sorry right on the side state like no but do you do it before they went up did you already do your stand-up at this oh stand-up was during the day. Stand-up was like, well, whatever. It was amazing. No, but I would feel like, so it was just a comedy?

A comedy show, yeah. Okay. And it was awesome. I mean, it's indoors. It's a huge venue, huge room. It's where Wilco practices, was practicing before they went on the big stage.

But it was an amazing show. Nick Offerman, me, Josh Gondelman, a comedian named Ayo. I forget her last name. She's incredible. And you did what, 10, 15? minutes but 30 yeah and i did like jokes about wilco we were calling like i was like this is so great it's not like coachella at all where everyone cares about what they look like you guys like just don't give a shit and some of

you should like did any of you even am i at a music festival or a float trip like what's happening here and i was just you know giving them shit about, and how much Wilco fans love wearing Wilco merchandise. I was like, none of you are trying to be cool where you're like, I'm not going to wear the band to the band. You're like. Are you wearing the Wilco sweater? No, I wasn't.

At this point I was wearing, oh, I don't think I was wearing a Wilco shirt, but I was like, but I'm one of you. I love that shit. And then me and Josh Gondelman and, um, um uh we're backstage and anya and matt we were all trying to come up with like funny because wilco fans are usually like older men you know like they just are kind of older people and so i was like your merch booth is insane here you have ever like they have so much merch crystal who runs the merch is like it's just cool shit and there's tons of like different like fanny packs and like hats and buttons and jean jackets and uh socks and guitar

picks like anything you could want and so we were just going over like we're taking wilco songs and making them funny um like items i was like there's a lot of new items coming out and i was like this it's it's like fast fashion in there the merch booth has like thousands of options i was like and then josh godman gave me the line he was i was like it's like forever 41 in there and so then i was like you guys have like casino queen one of the songs is casino queen i was like they're coming out with a casino queen craftmatic adjustable bed there's the song heavy metal drummer i'm like there's the heavy metal uh hip replacement that's gonna be released on sunday so get in line for that wait let me go through the other ones

you have the there's a song called I need a camera and I was like there's the I need a camera like no I would like a camera not one on your phone I want to take it like an old picture like just some old man bitching about it she's a jar opener

for arthritic people. There's the Sky Blue Sky Alice. Summer Teeth Dentures. I am trying to break your heart, brand pacemaker. And so, yeah, I was just going off. And Gondelman's the perfect person to bounce. He was like, this is what I was born to do. Yeah, yeah.

You don't know Josh Gondelman. He's fantastic. He writes for Desus and Mero. He used to write for John Oliver Show. And he's a great comedian, Josh Gondelman. He's fantastic. He writes for Desus and Mero. He used to write for John Oliver show. He's a great comedian. Josh Gondelman. Anyhow, but yeah.

And I have so much more to say. I do want to share one last thing that the best thing that happened to me that I put on my Instagram was that I felt annoying the whole time because I was dancing so much and having like the best time, especially when it's all the songs the second night that I like know every word to and I've and he played she's a jar because he knows from when we did um carpool karaoke that that's my favorite song that I want like on my funeral playlist and I cried when we did carpool karaoke to it and it was just like he just knows what it means to me and someone one of the roadies came

up to me was like I just want to let you know i've worked with him i've worked with this band for 12 years uh that's the fifth time i've seen them play that live i just want to know and then some of the band members later came out to me and was like you know we were playing she's a job like they did it for he did it for me it was really really meaningful and then afterwards i just want to play this so i am just gobsmacked at how amazing the show was i feel like on i'm just like i feel like hi i'm just like just the happiest i've ever been and they're walking off stage and um i'm holding my phone because i want to film them walking off stage because they're right walking right by me but i also don't want to be holding my phone because

i want to applaud so i put my phone in my fanny pack um and just let it record so i could just have them coming off and i wasn't trying to record them like acknowledging me like i did not want them to be like i wanted to just applaud them and tell them great show because they did and so i'm i'm doing that and then this is what jeff says to me and i'm so glad i caught it on tape because i probably wouldn't have believed it if I would have not recorded it. So I just want to play this really quick. So I'm applauding. And you've got to listen to me.

I played this for Kirsten, and she was like, it sounded like you were like, thank you. Thank you forever. Like, I'm so obsessed. Listen to this. Okay. Thanks. Last, last, last.

One of the best side stage person of all time. Oh, my God. It's an honor. Thank you for letting me rock out. so wait one more time i start out by saying a plus because i'm just like as they're walking by i'm like a plus plus because they're like they haven't played live in a while and i'm just trying to i'm trying to think of like what i would want to hear if i really gave the best performance that a fan of mine could ever imagine because that is what happened to me so listen again thank you for letting me rock out but he, you're the best side stage person ever. And so that is like, I am now like, I'm going to every Wilco show I can because if they actually do like my enthusiasm,

it literally is the best feeling I could ever have in my life. I would literally give up sex to just have that feeling the rest of my life. Like that was my favorite feeling of all the feelings I had. I think that you learn too that like, although you did pick them from

carpool karaoke and you show you know lyrics to your favorite song i'm sure when they see someone know the catalog like you know like there's something like i don't know beautiful to it and you showing up although you don't think you're important at times it's just as like you showing up for them and being there for them they feel the same way and you need to like take that in a little bit it's like you're a good girl no no but like but just take that in too because you know what in their mind they're thinking holy shit this fucking badass comedian is like really enjoying an old man band you know what i mean or like whatever it is like they're weird so you know i mean and i know as someone who has fans like me with wilco that i and jeff is someone who i i

relate to people were like do you relate to jeff because you're both from like the midwest he's from belleville which is very close to st louis it's practically st louis and obviously chicago band um they're like do you think it's because of your Midwest roots? And I'm like, no, it's our depressed roots. He's a depressed person. He grew up addicted to things with anxiety. And that's why I like him so much. I relate to him as being someone who does not think he's good. He thinks so.

He's constantly like, I know Jeff because I am him. And I was like, I took him. the last thing i said to him was like i want you to know this album is the best thing ever and you you need to know this you need to let it in you need to let it in like this i'm not bullshitting you it is so freaking good and i hope you hear this i hope you hear me i'm not lying to you and um but i know it's it's hard because you just go they're being nice or yeah they don't really know that i kind of tricked them with this one thing but it was it was the best weekend and it's there's something about being at a music festival and like it's nice to you know it's like that chris couldn't go obviously yes but it would

have been a whole but to take that and to flip it and go, you know what? Granted, Matt and Anya were there, but there's something about going to an event alone where you could literally be whatever the fuck you want to be. And whether it's a fanatical fan or maybe someone that just sits at the lawn and doesn't even want to partake but just wants to have their own moment. There's something beautiful about that. So I don't know. It's cool that you took that. I was just like walking around quietly, like just observing. It was nice to be alone,

but it was scary. And now I realize how people feel when they're like, I'm scared to go alone. Like it takes courage and it takes a lot of like triumph over anxiety, but like just try it. You can always leave. That was my thing. I was like, you can always leave that was my thing i was

like i can always leave i don't have to stay that's the best about being only you can always you can leave you can always leave so i think that's the thing so many people don't want to do things that they're scared of because they're like well then that's just the way i'm going to be the rest of my life it's like no you can always go back to the way you were doing it let's get to the news. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, boy. I hope you had all the swells this weekend.

Happy Memorial Day. All the swells, all the swells, apparently. All the swells. It's Monday. You know what that means? It is Monday. Back to you, Noah. Okay, so you guys have some tour dates this weekend uh in cleveland ohio uh the agora theater

and uh carnegie of homestead music hall in pennsylvania and the lyric in baltimore on sunday yeah and we got a celebrity coming to the balt. I'll tell you later. I know who. Really? Who? Ray Lewis. But yeah, we got good shows coming up. Cleveland. I love performing in Cleveland. And then is that in, is it in Pittsburgh? Is that probably where that is?

Moham or whatever. I mean, Pennsylvania has given us such great shows so far. Yeah. Please come out to those shows. I think tickets are still available. Nikki Glaser.com slash tour. And yeah,

let's thank you, Noah. Okay. What's the first news story? According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, there is no normal frequency of sex for couples providing everyone in the relationship is happy. So how often a couple should have sex depends on what the people in the relationship

decide works best for them. And that can range from no sexual activity at all to a few times a day week or year wow a day um so i know that you've been curious about that well you know there's so many things where it's like what's the right amount of times i should eat fruit or exercise and no one ever just goes whatever you want that's kind of the only time where it's like whatever like you sleep as much as you want but people go that's a little too much that's not enough but you're essentially doing whatever you want all the time it's nice to know that with sex it is kind of whatever you want as long as both parties are happy well and that's

that's the tough part yeah i think i don't know i'm trying to do this thing where your dopamine level you don't always like i saw something where like stay if something's giving you like high dopamine making you happy like you could almost reject it sometimes to make it you know you talk about this a lot to build up of it you know and a lot of couples like in other countries whatever they won't have sex for two like it's just we're not gonna have sex for two weeks because in two weeks we're gonna fucking want it yeah so bad and that if you keep whatever filling that dopamine up like we do with tiktok or whatever like then it's gonna make you sad and it's gonna start depleting it stops being even exciting to do so like yeah i love

waiting yeah so if you fuck once a week or once every that doesn't it's not a negative you don't have to look special yeah yeah so anyhow but yeah i agree i feel like though that it can be i don't know the the kinds of sex that you have for me then this is obviously because we just heard everyone's different for me. I feel like I, I think that there should be, I would like just like cuddling sometimes or just like intimacy of like touching and like kissing and just maybe dry humping, maybe not to completion a couple of times or whatever,

or maybe just, you know, a beach on the couch that isn't, you know, and then there's sometimes where it's like, no, I'm going to lay out everything I want you to use on me. I want to lay out, I want to set the stage, put down towels. Remind me of Braveheart when they lay out the different ways

that he's going to kill them. It's like a bunch of tools. Probably the same spread. I have war paint on. Freedom. Yeah. I feel like it's different kinds of sex, but that's interesting.

Good to know. Next story. Tell me what you think about this. Coinbase, which is just like a cryptocurrency company, is reportedly testing out having employees rate each other in an app with a thumbs up or thumbs down after meetings and other interactions what this seems insane that's stupid yeah the staff are reportedly asked to evaluate one another after meetings and other interactions based on how well they model

10 core company values and um yeah who wants to model company values like who like let's do it in the metaverse too you know what though if you give someone a thumbs down you have to show your face how about that yeah that's the thing well on on youtube now you can unlike something and it doesn't show you how many unlikes yeah you only show positive I mean. I don't mind hearing negatives. I just don't, I don't know. Oh, I do. Do you think employees should rate each other? No, because I think that it's competitive. Yeah, that's the problem.

A lot of times I don't like something because they're better than me at something or they're doing a better job or they're naturally more inclined to this thing. So a lot of times I will, if the worst version of me or thumbs down someone who's actually doing a great job

because I don't I'm threatened by them yeah so your company is going to suffer because you're thumbing someone down because they can yes

you know produce better than you yeah so maybe the company should just follow whoever's getting the most thumbs down and probably

give them a raise yeah yeah it's yeah the negative stuff I just can't I just don't I don't

I know criticism is important to grow from Yeah, the negative stuff, I just don't, I know criticism is important to grow from, but I just don't think, I think we already are so all feeling constantly inundated with comparing ourselves to people and feeling less than that there's just, no one should invite any of that in their lives. Yeah, I find sometimes I seek it out. don't know why i never do it's such a stupid thing i even read wilco's like well after i listen to album i'm like i want to see what people think of this like you know

music reviewers and so i saw stereo gum had posted something on instagram and i'm like i'll read it and i will stop reading it if it disagrees with if it is saying that they they're not good i'm going to take it like i was almost reading it as like I'm in the band and they fucking loved it and I was like yes and then I read the next thing everyone I mean this this album's critically acclaimed across the board and when I saw Wilco this weekend I you know it was the day it came out and I'm seeing everyone from the band and I was like hey not to trigger you I don't know if you read reviews but I just I'm not gonna say anything it's all good like you know like i just want to say everyone's getting it and it's very exciting but i had to i had to preface it that with like don't you know i'm i don't want to trigger you

because smart people who i think will call are don't read reviews and jeff jeff i've heard uh used to not and now he kind of is in a like sometimes you just go through a period where you like seek it out and yeah i think very smart people are susceptible to uh i was just watching norm mcdonald oh yeah i haven't seen it yet but he was just talking about how like he's like he'll always take part in a poll like no matter how smart you are if there's a poll you're gonna polls are so fun that's why on instagram i love those so but like you know to your point like if i read a review for not even for myself for like a band and i really love the band and i love the album and it's a negative i'll start going maybe i'm wrong and i know i shouldn't

that's what i said i know when i. When I said, I'll do it. I'll do it too. It sucks. I hate it. I did an interview when someone goes, do you read the comments? And I say, no, but you know what? I know my friends and family read comments about me and I know that they love me and they think those comments are probably wrong, but there's something in your brain that has

happened to me when I look at a picture of someone on Instagram or I look at a video and then I read the comments and someone says something negative about it that I didn't notice. And then suddenly, that is a part of my belief system about this. And I have been influenced even though that person,

I don't know them, they misspelled things. They have made me skewed a little bit towards not liking this as much. And so to act like you or anyone who loves you is immune to reading reviews and feeling bad or comments you're delusional and you need to stay away from them because there's nothing good there it is going to the desert for water it is there's

nothing what is what yeah there's nothing even the good is not good enough even the people that i've and you know who really gets off on it, the people that hate whatever it is, and then they see another comment that just proves their point. And oh, yeah, when I hate something and then so I go, God, I wish I could comment this thing. And then it's already commented and I get to like thumbs up it. Yeah, that's a disgusting part of my soul. It really is.

But I felt that way. Generally, when I'm jealous oh yeah i'm jealous this person is either really popular and making something that i think sucks and i just am mad about it or they're really popular and they're making something that's really good and i'm convincing myself that i wouldn't even want to make something good like that i felt bad i felt bad though like jack harlow who i really do really do like. I loved his last album. I wanted this new album to be great. And it just wasn't for me.

And then Pitchfork was like two points, like something really low. Pitchfork's always mean, yeah. And you know what part of me thinks? Pitchfork is probably a snooty motherfucker high on his horse. Really? Mr. Pitchfork? Yeah, I mean like someone writing a review it's one person oh yeah yeah and i just feel like part of me wants to be like fuck you

you hate him because he's so mainstream but then i was like you know what i agree and i felt bad i wanted it to be better you know sometimes you could read a negative review and be like yeah we're allowed as artists to put out bad shit I just want to say that to anyone who is maybe not an artist or whatever you do, like you're allowed to have a bad day at work and like put out a shitty report or whatever you do. You're, you know why? Because it makes the good all that better. You're allowed to have a bad day at work.

I'm allowed to put out a comedy special that isn't good. I'm allowed to put out a show that isn't good. We're all trying our best. And sometimes we, you know, if you watch the Carlin documentary, how many times did he reinvent himself or do what he wanted to do and it just didn't hit with the zeitgeist it just didn't they didn't like it or they made fun of them then he just shifts and does something else and everyone fucking forgets about it no one

doesn't it doesn't have to follow you and it doesn't have to be who you are where i have to allow myself to put out shit and people love a redemption story like people do love like you know the shittier it is and then if you really can make that left turn and make something great god do people because people go i was right that it was bad you know what i mean i watched the cheryl crow documentary last night and it was all about this let's go to break and come back with reddit boom boom. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

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Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. I did watch the Sheryl Crow documentary last night on Hulu. It's so good. There's something in it that was so wild that happens. I want people to just check it out. She dates Kid Rock? No, I don't think she ever did. But she did that song up with Kid Rock.

I can do a really good Sheryl Crow, by the way. All right, I'll do Kid Rock. Okay. Wait, what's the song? You know the song that they do yeah i've been searching for you for a long time can't seem to get you off my mind i've been something i don't know the lyrics but it's always... I do feel like I do... Hold on. Let me try one more time. So sing... I put your picture away. Yeah, it's called Picture.

Hold on. Kid Rock. Let me just look up the lyrics because I want to... Cry down to God. Okay, the lyrics. Live in my life in a slow... Okay. Been fueling up on cocaine and whiskey.

I wish I had a girl. A girl who missed me. I haven't sleeped in three damn nights. Yes. Yeah. I put your picture away. Wait a second. Sat down and cried today.

I can't look at you while I'm lying next to him. Wait, hold on. I'm trying too hard to do it. No, last night I was doing it so well that the dogs were like, what's going on? Because it was like, I want to soak up the sun. He was doing a good impression. It is a hard voice to do if it's...

I can't do it without music in the background, but I swear to God I can do a really good jump rope. Everyone at home is like She's fucking It's awful They're like please stop Please please stop They're like pitchfork Come put it in her heart

Out of pitchfork Pitchyfork Someone fork or pitch Okay so let's get to Reddit I'm gonna start with This is your Reddit dawn Gotta feel like hell tonight That's pretty good.

That was good. Thank you. Okay, I redeemed myself. Hey, people love that. People love it. Leaving Las Vegas. All right, put out a different album. All right, here we go.

Okay, so someone, this is a mispronounced. It's from the subreddit BoneAppleTea, which is a joke of Bon Appetit. Someone wrote BoneAppleTea once, and so this is a subreddit of mispronounced. It's from the subreddit BoneAppleTea, which is a joke of Bon Appetit. Someone wrote BoneAppleTea once, and so this is a subreddit of mispronunciations. And someone wrote a tweet that said, my joints hurt really bad. I think I have Arthur writes this,

which they probably just dictated arthritis, but it can correct it to Arthur writes this. I love that. This is from me, IRL. It's a tweet that I just relate to so much that I sometimes tweets you just go or memes you go. How does someone nail it so hard? This is from Armand Doma on it on Twitter.

I am 32 years old and still deeply terrified that consuming anything from the hotel room minibar will somehow bankrupt my entire family. That is so true. Relatable. So relatable! I am a woman that has more money than I know what to deal with. Sometimes I'm not bragging, but it's just true. And I still

will not even think about touching anything in the minibar. It's because we're told from when we were five, if you go near it, you're fucking dead. It's so funny. It it's so funny it made me want to do it now sometimes i'm even scared to put like a water bottle in a hotel fridge because i think that there's like a weight in there and if i take it out i think i took something out and then they're gonna bank like literally you will be homeless on the street because of because the prices are so crazy yeah um this is also from um this is from to me irl for me irl it's another uh subreddit of just tweets that are kind of on the mark um

it's from emily murnane uh emily underscore murnane on twitter it says we don't need to get coffee to catch up honestly i can just shoot you you a text to let you know i have no updates and i am doing bad save money on gas i love that because yeah sometimes people want to get together and you go what like why do we have to bring coffee into this why do we have to make it a thing i know um it's to fill your day you know yes um this is from adhd women of subreddit it's another tweet says tries to learn someone's name brain no we are at capacity me with what brain angela pamela sandra and rita me those aren't even real people those are mambo number five lyrics brain a little bit of monica in my life me please stop brain the trumpets yeah i don't know why sometimes memes that one probably doesn't work as much when i'm like reading it but it really made me happy oh my

god this is another one from emily murname that was on the last one i did not know that i'd like two of her things this happened over weeks at a time said people with good singing voices should not be allowed to do karaoke sorry but it is not fun watching you do a little star search performance i'm here to see drunk keith fight for his life through living on a prayer as god intended tomorrow night is my birthday and we are going to um sing karaoke it was supposed to be tonight but my sister and brother didn't get back in town in time um and i'm excited to do some Sheryl Crow and really, I'm thinking about opening it to the besties. So I just want to say,

I think I'm going to do it tomorrow. If you're St. Louis bestie Wednesday, tomorrow, June 1st, if you want to come to Westport social at around six 30, we will be doing karaoke and hanging out. I don't,

the karaoke rooms are small, so it might just be like a certain number of people can fit in at a time but i would love to meet you and see you if you just want to go to westport social there's tons of stuff to do there it doesn't have to be a whole thing you can go alone i will greet you um so westport social tomorrow night at seven o'clock is when it starts um this is one did i do this last week it's from thanks i hate it and it says your car will never make that noise for the mechanic your car is that your car is like that's our special noise i can only make that noise for you dude i feel that one yeah yeah i mean i think with anything like you

could also you know you're having a pain when you go to the doctor and then when you get to the doctor it goes away yeah it's like no i swear to god dude my kidneys are bleeding like no you're fine my car's you know there's that light and it always turns for some reason it turns off too and then you think your car is fine i know but why does the light is just broken that's how fucking bad your car is like the bulb for that light the actual thing yeah yeah final thought here's one from ask men it says my girlfriend just asked did you hear that ass did you hear that asshole and then she farted what immature things do your partners do i think that's so funny it's funny where like um brenna will maybe fart and she'll go oh it was just a just a toot. And it kind of was just a toot. It does make such a cute.

But then I'll fucking, I'll fart where the door, where the fucking, the light goes on in my car somehow. Yeah. And I'll go, a little toot. Like I'll cover it with a toot.

It's like a foghorn. Yeah, it's literally not a, I don't know. That's fun. What do you do? Someone said, grips ice cubes in her hands, unbeknownst to me,

then saunters up and seductively wraps her arms around me, then shoves her ice cold hands on my belly. That's cute. Yeah, it's a little left turn. My girlfriend does that stupid, what's that on your shirt? And then flicks my nose trick

when there's actually something on my shirt. It's okay though. I get her back by wetting my hands, then rubbing them on her face while saying, I hate it when I pee on my hands. hands oh i do that all the time whenever i go to the bathroom and wash my hands and i shake someone's hands i go it's it's i just went to the bathroom it's not what you think it's pee i say that a lot um i would never watch my hands uh someone said i like to get in elaborate poses before i let one go my wife just laughs and calls me an idiot for

things my wife does she likes to play punch me in the face and I'll sell it like I got hit by Tyson. She loves that one. I don't know what that is. I'm trying to think of funny things I do. My brother got me when we were younger. He put ketchup on his hand and grabbed the knife and I thought I cut him. Or like I had a knife

and then he like, somehow he threw ketchup and I thought I slid his wrist. I got ketchup on my hand at McDonald's once. And I was going to the bathroom and I remember an old man saw me walking in the bathroom and was like somehow he threw ketchup and i thought i slid his wrist i got and i was like running around crying yeah and i was going to the bathroom and i remember an old man saw me walking in the bathroom was like are you okay and i was like what like it was so scary to have an old man just like grab me and be like are you okay now i'm not oh no i just got ketchup oh man um i think that some i mean we do so many dumb like little inside joke things. Your gummy worm. Oh, that was for another boyfriend.

Yeah. That was fucking weird. I mean, yeah. I once, my XXXX boyfriend. I love how unrelatable that one is. Like it's relatable, but it's also like your, that's your thing. But I don't understand how anyone doesn't do stuff like that for their boyfriend if that, if their boyfriend isn't grossed out by that kind of stuff.

So he liked gummy worms. That was his favorite snack. He was coming to visit in california i was picking him up from the airport i knew he would finger me immediately upon getting in my car so i put a gummy worm in my vagina so that when he fingered me he'd go what the fuck is that and he'd pull out a gummy worm and he did and it was funny and then his dick was a gummy worm all weekend. Yes. Boom. You set them up, boys. Oh, boy. I think that I do.

That's a fun one, though. Yeah, that was a fun one. I mean, what was one that I did? Now, how long? What if he didn't finger you? How long do you let the gummy sit in you? No, I would have grabbed his hand and go, I have something to show you. You know, I wouldn't. Yeah, it comes right out. Yeah. But people are like

shocked that I did that. I'm sure it fucks up my pH balance. But you know what else fucks up my pH balance down there? A man's dirty hand. So it's like, who cares? People go, you put a sanitary a thing that I'm supposed to eat right from the package. I put it in my vagina and you're acting like that's so shocking. You put men's

dirty fingers and penises in your pussy. Dorito fingers. Or even your own fingers. I think that, I'm trying to think of like, do you ever just like take a tit out? That's what I do

if I'm wearing a tank top. We'll have a serious conversation and I'll like just turn around and I'll just respond back. And it takes at least like a couple to notice. That's fun. That's one of my favorite bits too

is just acting like, I like to play the character of like, I can't, I don't know what to do with them. It won't stay in. This shirt doesn't fit. And I'll just keep going like, but it's not working. And it kind of,

it's a Rachel Feinstein move of like, my boobs are too big and I don't know what to do with them. She has a great bit about girls just being stupid. Like, my tits are just dumb. But I think playing that kind of dumb character is fun. I tried that kind of with Brenna over the weekend where I go, should I wear this bathing suit?

And I turned around and I took my balls and I should i should i wear this bathing suit and i turned around and i i took my balls and i put them like on the side on top of the video i was like is this cool because we were all like debating on what to wear and i was like nothing matters like she was a little worried about what she'd wear and i was like is this cool and she goes don't ever do that again it looks like you have a bald chicken and on top of you and then i googled if you google bald chicken it looks exactly exactly like what it looked like yeah and it was i don't know it was fucking that was fun that is that just those little bodily things that you were talking to someone with a straight face and then they they suddenly see it and they're like oh my god that's always fun um so there was one from ask

women this is when i saved it says what do you feel comfortable doing platonically with women that you cannot do with men? So this is to asking women. They said, I mean, there's so many. Cuddling, holding hands, changing in front of them. I don't hold hands with my girlfriends. Do you, Noah? No, never. Me neither.

But I don't cuddle with them either. I've always felt uncomfortable with that. And the I don't cuddle with them either. I've always felt uncomfortable with that. And the one that did cuddle me once I think was gay. And the whole time I was like, I know girls do this, but I can't do that. Complimenting them, especially on their appearance. This is my own shortcoming, though. I wish I had the courage to compliment men.

Oh, this is a guy writing. No, no, no. That's a woman. Oh, I see. My bad feel i read constantly about how men don't get compliments let's step it up everyone compliment men it feels good andrew i like um i like your instagram today it was really funny your post the thing where you said the um italian steps trying to get pussy on italian steps is so funny and then when you changed the word of the um to dick the penis yes i'm glad you picked that up.

The choice of penis was really, really funny. Thank you. It was really, really well done. Someone said discussing politics. Some guys get too emotional while discussing serious topics, so I prefer talking to ladies. I do believe talking politics, sometimes with men, is frustrating because a lot of them have to do with, like,

women's issues. And you are like, you don't get it but like how can they they're not a woman so it's kind of like a losing battle and sometimes you yeah um sharing beds changing in front of each other cuddling on couch holding hands um i used to share beds with my male friends all the time and i just want to say i am so so sorry to all the men that i forced to sleep in the same bed as me because it was inappropriate. Even though I knew that nothing would happen between us, you probably had a little bit of a crush on me. It probably wasn't that comfortable for you.

You probably were thinking maybe she likes me. Maybe she doesn't. Like probably kept you up. I should have just let you sleep on the couch instead of being like, no, don't sleep on the couch. That's stupid. I should have let you do that. And I'm sorry for uh if i like may led you on or anything you didn't have to put on the little nightie and then be like

my dumb tits are sleeping next to you do you have any do you want a gummy worm yeah there's a glow worm in my pussy to keep us but we're platonic yeah totally yeah why are you being weird? No, yeah. Okay, we got to go. Do you want to take us out on a wrap? Sure, I'll take us out on a wrap because you always know that I'm about to snap with a snapback.

That's the kind of hat I wear with a heart attack from a Big Mac. I got a loose sack that I put on top of my shorts and it looks like a bald chicken, but it's not. It's a McChicken from McDonald's. Man, you really brought the heat i gotta go because i gotta meet and greet who with who well i gotta jump online i'm pitching a show

to netflix and it's gonna be fine whether they take it or not i'll be okay things are just gonna go right this is part of my day my dad's gonna come over later we're gonna go on ig live we're gonna play some music it's gonna be uh about five hours long and my dad lost his voice so he was like why should i even come and i go because you play guitar and you can just shut the fuck up and just play and i'll sing and he's like telling me about his weekend i'm like dad i don't care let's wait until we're alive and we can do this on air let's not have a conversation that's not worth having if we can share it with the world that's uh what's happening your dad is literally the do we have to meet up to have coffee meme with you?

He really is. He was trying to have a conversation on the phone. I go, let's do it. Let's wait for Instagram Live. This is very, I'll be much more engaged if I know people are watching me watch my dad. All right, we gotta go.

Thank you guys so much. We'll be here all week. I'm having a friend on the show on Thursday, Taylor, one of my best friends from high school, one of the originators of Keh. Can't wait to have her in studio. But we'll be here tomorrow on my birthday. And yeah, come to Westport. Come this weekend to see shows.

I'll be, it's me performing for the first time as a 38-year-old. And don't be Keh and Jackalope. London. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help.

That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to

the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party,

your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B.

As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s,

tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is gonna be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world.

Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, then tune in to my podcast, Building One. I speak with some of the best product builders out there. I've always been inspired by frustration.

It came back to my own personal pinpoint. So we had to go out to farmers and convince them. Following that curiosity is a superpower. You have to be obsessed with the human condition. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts.