The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #23 MIC THE MEN!

Episode Date: April 29, 2021

Nikki opens up about doing her best to stop exaggerating and to keep calm and text later! Andrew is giddy about the Task Rabbit putting together furniture, upskirts and Nikki's latest dirty subscription. You Heard it Here First stories include a ride from hell, reliving past relationships and a sexy shave. Nikki addresses some feedback and Andrew explains his new fire safety tool in the Final Thought. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF,

and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions

on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry.

I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top. I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. lamp and smashed it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Some people won't give you the real talk on drugs, but it's time we know the facts. Fentanyl is often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills.

You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap, and the dealer might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council.

Here's Nikki. Hello. Welcome to the podcast, everyone. We're very far into our... It's Wednesday. This is our fifth week, sixth week. I don't even know. Welcome to the show. If you're here for the 22nd time or you're here for the first time, welcome. I'm Nikki Glazer. I'm a comedian and you might know me from Netflix and roasts and different appearances on many things to tell the truth on ABC, which I'm going back to film very soon. I'm very excited about that. It's a fun show. That's not what this is about. I just wanted to welcome you to the show. If you've listened all the time, I'm really sorry to bore you with all this. Thank you for listening to the ads at the

top of the show. Thank you to people who, I literally just met a guy downstairs who is a friend of mine that I was working. I'm in the Cayman Islands. I just finished working on a show here. The show is over, but I'm staying in the Cayman Islands because there's no COVID here and I don't want to go back to the States until I absolutely have to, which turns out to be this Saturday. But I just met a guy downstairs who dropped off something special for me to eat tomorrow. And that's all I'll say. And he was like, how do I hear your podcast? And I was like, he was like, I liked it on Instagram, but like, I don't know how to hear it. I'm like, what, what do you mean? I'm like, this is a really cool guy that like should know like podcasts.

You've got to listen to podcasts. Like, and people go, I want to listen to your podcast. And I go, but you've never heard a podcast. I go, don't start with mine. And these are always people that are just not very comedy. They're not like comedy connoisseurs if they haven't heard of podcasts before. So I'm not like trying to get them into mine as much as I'm like, why don't you check out Serial Season One?

Podcasts are like a medium of which are up against TV show, like TV shows, movies, books, podcasts. Like it's a way to be entertained and educated. I would say educated more so than even TV or movies sometimes, depending on the documentary or series that you're watching. But like I've learned so much from podcasts. You'll learn a lot from this one too, although I am not an expert in anything.

Andrew Collin will be here shortly. He is my co-host on the show. I just felt like, Noah, that some people are tuning into this for the first time and they don't know the situation. So I'm in the Cayman Islands. Usually I'm living in St. Louis, which I will be back there on Saturday. I live with my best friend, Andrew Collin. He's a 41-year-old comedian who I met as my dog walker, but now he's my best friend and my roommate. He moved to St. Louis for me from New York City to start the podcast and be my roommate because I lived in St. Louis for the quarantine with my parents. Before that, I was living in New York or LA. And I couldn't keep living with my parents. I wanted to live on my own, but I no longer do comedy every night, which is something that made

it so I could live alone because I was never home and I don't like being alone. So the fact that my life was very different, I needed to live with someone. I asked Andrew to move in with me. I asked him to be my podcast co-host. Noah is my podcast producer who you hear on the other end. She is in Arizona. And it brings us to the Nikki Glaser podcast. We're here daily, Monday through Thursday. You get it. Yeah, I just wanted to catch people up. There's nothing that annoys me more than being like, hey, listen to this podcast. And then you're listening to it with a friend. It's your favorite podcast, but you listen to it in the car with them. And there's all these inside jokes and there's all these things that people don't understand. And I was thinking about this

show yesterday. If people were just jumping in, I'm like, I just assume they know, but they might not know. So every now and again, I like to give a little refresher. Um, but yeah, it's, uh, I am in the Cayman islands still, of course I had an insane day yesterday of podcasting. I did our podcast. I did three other podcasts. And then I did a Zoom call with girlfriends to catch up with them. So that is five podcasts. That is five. At the end of all of it, my girlfriends are like, okay, we can't wait to talk. And I'm like, yeah. Even though the podcast with them was not recorded, even though it should have been because it was amazing so helpful because I have been uh going through uh romantic struggles a breakup I guess a uh heartbreak I have needed to rely on my friends a lot it's something I can't talk about on podcasts because of the nature of it

that being like you know it's it, I will talk about it someday because I'm finding it very hard to find things, uh, podcasts or, well, actually I haven't really looked into podcasts, but I've been having a hard time finding things to make me feel better about it. And actually that's not true. That is not true. I found stuff, but there needs to be more. So I will be talking about it at some point when I'm ready to process it, but not on air yet, which for me is a really big struggle. And it's hard to not be completely, I'm not being honest with you guys. That's another thing about this podcast. I never lie or I try not to. Yesterday I accidentally lied. Um, what did I say? I was on a podcast and I said that I, it was something like, Oh, I lied about having podcasts. I was like, this is

my fifth podcast today. And it was like my fourth. And I was like, that didn't feel good. So I regret that lie. But generally I don't lie. Yeah. As long as you don't lie on this podcast. Yeah. That's okay. But I don't, I try not to lie in my regular life too. I'm trying to catch those moments where I go, I know I told you I had two bowls of oatmeal or like, wow, that's kind of impressive. Take it down 30% or add 30% in, in either way, it would be less impressive. And that is my dad's true. It's the true stat. So yeah. Oh, we spent, we spent 17 days in that jail. Me and my friend. Uh, you mean let's, let's probably take it to 12. Anyway, I don't like to lie on here but um I'm I'm learning how to not talk about everything um but the thing is I will eventually I just need time to process it I'm trying not to talk about everything as it's happening because that is where you get into

sticky situations of uh you know the things I want to text right, the things I want to text right away, the things I want to email people right away when I get a nasty email, the things I want to, because we have immediate communication now with texting and everything, like there's no time to think. Did we talk about this before? Whereas like you used to have all weekend to think did we talk about this before where it's like you used to have all weekend to think about what you were going to say to that person at school on Monday and now you can just shoot a text off or let work and it's just like I am just trying to take more time to reflect before I make a statement about things but it's so hard something I've learned in anger management is exactly that like if you're really angry about something just wait five minutes and you'll see that at the end of that five minutes, you're not as angry as you were the five minutes before.

And then try to extend it a little bit more, a little bit more. And then in the end, you just see that it's just not that big of a deal. So wait a second. Have you gone to anger management classes like with my therapist oh and she teaches you techniques and it's how hard is it though because I don't have anger I mean obviously everyone has anger issues but I don't those aren't the ones that I've had to confront and come up with a plan for how hard is it when you are that angry to sit it out and like what are you supposed to do when that

there's that urge because I have different urges that I have to like like sometimes I want to binge eat like I just want to keep eating the thing I enjoy eating that I just finished I'm going to do the rest of it but I've learned now if I go put it away I only take what I want to eat I put it away then I go play guitar after I'm done eating even though I still still want to eat or just I get it out of my sight. There are certain things I can set myself up for so I can use that buffer zone where I won't feel the same about that package that I want to eat and like lick when I'm done eating that work. But what do you do, though? Because I think that's more relatable of you want to scream or throw a plate or say something to someone and, and you need to wait, what do you do? Well, honestly, it's a lot of trial and error and you don't always succeed,

but you literally go to court and there's a trial and you get a restraining order. Yeah. It's just something you have to keep top of mind you just constantly work on yourself you're gonna fail and there's just like this diffused feeling after like an intense angry moment that is just the worst and you just try to do whatever you can to not have that anymore can you give me an example of something you would do out of anger that's embarrassing. Like the same way that I would literally like make a crackers and cream cheese. And then I'd eat ice, like literally scoop the cream, the tofu cream cheese with like my fingers and go around the container. And I only wanted one serving, but now I'm finishing a container of cream cheese, like that feeling of hatred when it's done and you throw it in the trash. Like what's that equivalent with like an angry outburst? Because everyone knows that feeling of like, why did I do that? I didn't need to do that.

Is it the same feeling of like self-hatred? Yes. Yes. Okay. I'll, I'll tell you one from a very long time ago before I even started therapy or knew that I had an issue. Um, I was, I used to work with an ex and, um, back in the day when they had the flip phones and I don't know, I don't remember what I was angry about because that doesn't even matter. I was just so infuriated that I took his phone

and I just broke it in half. What? And I'm still, I'm very embarrassed about it. It's just, I don't know, like illogical. What did he do?

Reaction. Well, thank goodness we were at work so that he couldn't like, I don't know, like illogical. What did he do? Reactions. Well, thank goodness we were at work so that he couldn't like, I don't know what he would have done, but he was just so mad at me and he had to get another phone, but that wasn't hard for him.

That was the end of flip phones. That was probably the end of flip phones anyway. Like it was time for him to upgrade to like, you know, whatever. Like there was a last generation of flip phones. Oh my God. I bet so many flip phones got cracked by angry girlfriends. Because that was such an easy thing to crack.

But girls throw phones all the time. And so do guys. I mean, that's, like, the new way to, like, this thing that I feel like you're using against me in some way. I'm going to shatter it. And, like, yeah, that makes sense. So, okay. I guess we learned something today. Let's get Andrew in here.

I know Andrew has more. He's not as. he does have anger issues but I think they are more similar to my like scraping food out of a container that you were only supposed to have one serving out of as opposed to breaking a flip phone but listen we're all somewhere on this spectrum let's get into the show get my roommate um from another room uh here with us us to go through the headlines today. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts we want to speak out we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop wow very powerful i'm ellie flynn and i'm an investigative journalist when a group of models from the uk wanted my help i went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy, my dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator.

You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild

and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community.

And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Can you hear it? It's the whisper of two wolves inside you. One says, you're not enough. The other says, keep going. You can do this. They're always talking. The one you listen to shapes your life. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. On my podcast, we explore how to hear the voice that matters, the one that leads you to courage, wisdom, and love. It's not about perfection. It's about direction.

Millions of listeners have fed their good wolf. Now it's your turn. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it. Asking where this is all going. They come from places like NVIDIA, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. On Wednesdays, I feature interviews with top leaders

like Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky. Well, I'm in the details. Let me just say this. I actually stay in the details of the product. And on Friday's, analyst Ron John Roy and I recap the week's news looking at everything that's happened

in the world of AI. That is an emoji red flag for me. I'm putting it up. Three emoji red flags. They told me they're going to fix Siri. I dreamed. I dreamed.

So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues, and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Andrew, what's up? How'd you sleep last night? Nick. Hey, I'm good, dude. Things are good over here in St. Louis. Got the new couch? Yeah.

You can see it in the background. Look at that little baby. It's not even little. It's a big baby. Shout out to... Dude, it's a big-ass couch. Yeah. It's dope.

Our whole place is furnished by Burrow, which I love their furniture. So I'm excited to lay on it. And the guy that... So the task rabbit came over and put together all of this furniture that was waiting for us when we came back from the Caymans. And he did it fast, right? He was unbelievable. This guy, I went to work out.

I did my 30-minute uphill walk. If you don't know what TaskRabbit is, it's an app where you hire people to do shit you don't want to do for yourself. It's an app, and you just go on, and you just are like, oh, I need someone to get groceries for me. I need someone to put together the shelf.

I need someone to fuck my groceries for me i need someone to like put together the shelf i need someone to fuck my wife don't do that yeah that's that's off that's that's what you once you get them to build yourself then you can go hey listen i got another job for you well the nice thing is i write out the directions of how to fuck my wife and it's all like directions with like these people with this like circle he's, you have a couple parts left. And I was like, I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know what I got? We have our own tools there because I have a box of so many dildos and

vibrators in that room where he was building. You could build nine skyscrapers of women with that thing. I have so many sex toys waiting for me to explore back at home that got sent to me from someone. I mean, Belessa, which is where I get

my porn from. This is not an ad by the way. It's just like, if you're wondering where I pay for my porn, kink.com, Blacked Raw, and Belessa. Belessa. B-E-L-L-E-S-a and it's like that that's like blessa is like really good porn for like it just makes you feel like you're it's such a clean place to go and watch porn after

you've been to black draw and kink.com and by the way black draw is my new subscription that i've been like wanting to subscribe to for so long but it was too scared because i was scared that like it would be a racial game yeah or like someone would think that i was doing it because like that somehow it would get out and i would get canceled because it's like why does this white girl going to black draw which is like a bunch of black guys having sex with women and it's just yeah but the thing is the reason i do it is not because of a racial thing at least i don't think that subconsciously maybe but it's because they're they're the only gang bangs i can find where the guys are like nice and enthusiastic and not mean

to the girls and that they're like wow girl you're amazing and they're just like look at her do you love this and she's like i love it and they're not like yelling at her and making her feel like a dumb bitch. Like they're like really excited to be with her and they're like taking care of her and they're not like making her more uncomfortable than she might already be. Not uncomfortable, but like, you know, it takes a lot to do a gang bang physically. So for you to also like be supportive of her emotionally is very important to me. And they're very vocal about like, they're talking about what they're doing. They're talking about what she's doing.

And like, I like when guys talk in porn, so I bit the bullet and I fucking, I'm just like you, I related to you when you sign up for only fans, which you have before when you've been super horny. Only, only fans.

Yeah. Only fans is how you say it. But like I related to like, I like, you you know when guys do things when they're horny that are so stupid for me paying $29.99 a month for the rest of my life because I don't even know how to cancel it for Black Draw just so I could get in there and see what they got because all because all of the Black Draw videos on other porn sites are always like not long enough and they're always the best content on those other porn sites the free version and so i'm like if i get in there and i pay for it turns out there's like

eight gangbang videos which i'm sorry is not enough for 29.99 a month but yeah listen it was an i will pay i'd pay 30 to have those videos uh well i guess quality over quantity i guess you're looking at but the thing is i need new i can't watch the same one over and over i can't so that's my problem got you um there is also a thing called blacked which is b-l-a-c-k-e-d which is great i know that's how i found blacked raw but blacked raw i don't know why i am i am on it's blacked pretty much is what i'm watching those videos i liked black yeah it's great But I don't like three minutes of them. I want 35 minutes of it. I don't want to see the,

I want to see, I don't like when they cut right to the act. I want to see the act start. I want to see it like go in. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like, I don't know. Let's see how we got there.

It does. It frustrates me when they're like, Hey, what are you doing in this park and his dick's in her the next scene it's like why is she in the park oh that's not what i mean i mean i don't want story i want if there is a gangbang happening and i'm sorry to our listeners who are like this is really grotesque but this is like i i think this is important. I want to see, without being too, I want to see how she got in that position and how they all got to be where they are. Like what car they took?

Again, no. Noah, do you understand what I'm saying? Yes, I know. I'm fucking around, Nikki. You don't even need the sex part. You just need what happened before. No need like the, the sex part. You just need. No, what happened?

No, I do need the sex part. I need to see how the penises got in her and I need to see them go in her. If I could be directly, I don't want to cut. What do you mean? They're already in her. Like a lot of times,

just cut to it. And all the penises are in her in their mid act. I want to see how she took on that many and how each one was introduced and like how she felt about it. Because a lot of times a girl is like has to like really like push through to get those things in it. Like to do that. It's like a feat of physicality. And so I want to see the process. No, I get what you're saying.

Because it really does turn me on when the girl goes slower. Yes. Because that's never happened to me. Why don't people making porn, will you not? There is a whole subreddit called When It Goes In. And it's a girl's face when it goes in. So why are you cutting around that? And will you please mic the men?

Mic the men. Mic the men. Mic the men. Mic the men. I want to hear the men. Mice of men. Mike the men. Mike the men. Mike the men. I want to hear the men. Mice of men. And men who are in porn, will you please be nicer and be very enthusiastic? I need to direct porn.

That's all that has to happen. Gosh, I would love one girl. One girl needs to go, gentle, Andrew. Gentle. You're so big. Gentle. I mean, that's never happened. That's all I want in life.

No, they go harder. Well, just finger aggressively. And that, so it'll go gentler. These little nubs. I need like five, I need five more hands. Oh, man. I'm sorry you've never heard that. But I've never heard it either because they don't.

Mike the men. Mike the men. Mike the men. Oh, wait. No, that's the girl saying it. Never mind. Boys to men. No.

No, I don't know any of their songs It's so hard to say goodbye to that penis in your vagina I mean I can't believe I've never heard that song That you guys are like is a classic Yeah it was so funny your mom and her business partner Debbie came over Yeah By the way was Debbie like was really hot

When she was in her prime She's a very beautiful older woman Yeah but I mean like she's a beautiful woman now But why do you need to know she was in her prime she's a very beautiful older woman yeah but i mean like she's a beautiful woman now but why do you need to know about her in her prime and i didn't know her in her prime and mom and her got to be friends later but like what what kind of question is that like what does that change anything i i guess i take it back you see a hot woman in her later years and you just go i want to know if she was hot when she was young too i mean probably it's like you don't want to know when uh what's that you've said it like was debbie

like a like was debbie a model before like she is whatever she is now have you never seen a beautiful older woman usually they're beautiful women before that too i know i was just wondering i mean i just want to see a picture well it's like when you want to see a picture of Sean O'Connor. What's his name? Sean O'Connor is my comedian friend. No, what's his name? Sean Connery? Sean Connery.

Oh, yeah, when he was younger, he was hot. Yeah, you want to see when they're younger. How many girls put up a picture of when Biden was in his 20s and be like, Not that many. I mean, a couple. But you being like, was the first thing you say about an older woman was hot? Hey, was she like oh i'm not that many i mean a couple but you being like no was the first thing you say about an older woman's hot hey was she like super hot when she was younger i mean that's like you could just say wow she's a really pretty older woman i did say that in the same

sentence yeah i i we don't like the setup and but we do yeah yeah that's right i'm like, Mike, the man. So your mom and Debbie come over and I literally Because they're setting up our podcast studio. They're not just coming over to hang out with you. I don't know. Now the word is out that you're into a young Debbie.

Debbie cakes. Yeah, dude, Tass Rabbit wanted it. That's what he asked for He's like Hey let me get someone That in their prime Was dope I had to put away

So many dildos For your mom To come over Your mom called me Your mom called me And goes Hey Can you put them away

I don't know if Debbie Who's past her prime Will like these Oh my god My mom is just so scared what other people think about her constantly it's just it's exhausting i just don't know how to how you live like that with like constant fear that everyone anyone she's friends with debbie it's like and works with her all the time like this fear of people thinking that your daughter

might have a box of dildos like i understand understand if Debbie was like a Christian and that would deeply offend her and it would make, but my mom is friends with this woman and this woman and I have talked about sex in front of my mom multiple times. It's like, what is everyone just, will you let things go? And me having a box of dildos at us,

this they're working for us, by the way, I'm not even paying them to work for us. I heart is they're building our, our studio. My mom is a, and Debbie are Stagers for houses For real estate And so they got this job on their own

Without me even being involved It was the weirdest story But my mom is now cleaning up her client's home So that her business partner might not be offended By a box of dildos My mom's embarrassment over who I am Which I am a box of dildos like my mom's embarrassment over who I am which I am a box of dildos that is who I am mom it makes me so mad that she had to write you and go Andrew will you

hide all those sex toys because Nikki might it's just like let me be who I am and why don't you just be a woman who has a daughter who has who is able to even give you a job because I am famous for having boxes of dildos. Like, why not celebrate that? Why do I have to hide who I am? I am like, that just makes me want to cry that my mom is still trying to like be someone that she isn't. And it's not even me.

She wants to not be associated as the mother of someone who would have a box of dildos. It's just like, get over it, Jules. I mean, I don't know if it's how many dildos she would have been cool with. You know what I mean? Everything in my house is a dildo. I can rub. That's true.

I can put anything in that place inside me. That's why that furniture company is called Burrow. Yeah, Burrow that puss, boy. Well, that's not really the joke. It's like you would burrow something inside you, but yeah. Yeah, burrow that. Well, you don't burrow, like if a squirrel is burrowing a nut, you burrow a nut.

You don't burrow into the, you don't burrow the ground. You know what I mean? You burrow the ground with the nut. No, you don't. You burrow a thing into the ground. So burrowing the pussy would be like it was a squirrel was putting my pussy in the ground for later. So it would be burrowing something into my pussy. So you could burrow pussy.

I mean, like, yes, but you would have to cut off someone's pussy and then burrow it somewhere. Oh, by the way, check out the doc of tiktok ladies and gentlemen what is that just throwing that out there it's just this doctor that that is a urologist on the it's unbelievable okay what does he do i don't know my my little brother sent it to me recently and he was asked he was talking about if guys can have at length at length oh yeah you always want to know that and the verdict is one girl says uh you know be careful uh the verdict is no you can you can take like fat above your dick taken off you can he said you could tie a weight to your dick that's helped yeah like the tongue stretching thing that we got into yeah but i don't think that will help your boner and then you could do the penis pump which we've

right which you you've done before and if you want to hear andrew's penis pump story uh don't worry i'll make him tell it very soon so that you all we i mean that's the story you need to retell i feel like every five episodes of the podcast i i introduced people to like our relationship at the top of this podcast in case we have new listeners but the penis pump story people that's like that is your um what's the story that like creates the hero like it's like the odysseus like it's your origin story i would say the story by the way talking about dick talks on tiktoks uh people did send me wart videos and uh pictures of their warts. I want to talk about that later. However,

I do have a lot of notes for you in terms of what you should be sending me, and thank you, thank you, thank you so much. I can't wait to talk about it later. Let's get to the news. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, boy.

I hope everyone's having fun out there having all the swells okay a stunned one oh my god that it's meaningless but yes you do actually wish people are having the swells which what does that mean to you at this point like when you say that, what do you picture? I picture someone, maybe they're not, you know, having all the swells. And then I say it and then boy, are they having swells. I picture someone catching a wave. Yeah, catching a wave of happiness, to be honest. Okay, like just being like, yeah, the waves coming in. They're just like filled with like, yeah, they're happy.

Like your favorite song comes on. No, that was just my mouth. No, it wasn i didn't fart it sounds like a squeak okay go on oh no just swells um okay so cheese tacos okay all right you heard it here first here we go a stunned woman is still charged for an uber ride that drove straight into a canal. A 30-year-old woman in Manchester asked for her Uber driver to stop when she noticed that his navigation would drive them into the canal. The driver refused. The woman said the driver was going five miles per hour,

and then all of a sudden the front of the car was in the canal. After she climbed out of the car, however, she was reportedly told to walk the remaining distance of her trip, despite it being the middle of the night. And then she was charged told to walk the remaining distance of her trip despite it being the middle of the night and then she was charged for 40 when she got home uber refunded the woman but only after the incident was made public no one was injured okay wild i mean this has happened before where it's like i've been in an uber because i only do ubers in los angeles i think if i moved to los Angeles, I'm not going

to get a car and just take Ubers everywhere because it's so much time and traffic in LA. You might as well be on your phone in the backseat or reading a book or listening to music instead of controlling a machine. But being in Ubers all over LA, it's insane the amount of people where you pull up to somewhere and you see on their phone that is like locked into their little thing you see the dot on their screen of like the drop-off is here and they just will not go to it like it's it's it's you know like 20 feet ahead but they still won't they're still inching and and then you can't even open your door because they're still moving so slowly they're just I just don't understand why people can't follow a fucking dot on a screen. It really enrages me enough that I want to break their flip

phone, call back to a thing you didn't hear. But Noah also has this spatial problem in her head where she doesn't understand distance. So if like, and Carlisle Forrester, my friend, who's a listener to the show also has it. And I think that some Uber drivers might have this because a lot of people do is like, you don't know what 0.2 miles is. You don't know what 0.1 miles is. You don't know what 500 feet might look like. And so that's where I say, look at the fucking dot and then move your car to the dot on the map but they just can't do it people are just kind of slower than I am in in that respect and I am slower in other ways I will say but like there are some people that don't understand what

500 feet is destination in 500 feet they just stop or they keep going and you're like but they're they and this all relates to the canal because some people just trust the map too much whereas others don't look at it at all and i'm still perplexed by someone who doesn't doesn't understand what a mile like the day that i was with carlisle forester in her car and she's dropping me off at the orthodontist and it said point point five miles away destination we're on a road that is we're going 30 miles an hour and she is slowing down like it's coming up immediately and i go and i said it's 0.5 miles away and she starts going stopping and breaking like is it here and i'm like wait do you want to understand what 0.5 mean it means a half a mile she's like no i know

i know but i like don't know what that is you run nikki you run all the time so like you know because of you're running and i was like there's no way you could go point a half a mile within seconds going 30 miles an hour what the fuck is your brain doing right now and it made me so mad because i don't understand how someone could not know that but i also understand that I've never heard that Boyz II Men song and people could be mad about that like how do I not know that so I'm going to let it go but Noah do you relate to this canal driver uh no I don't relate to the canal driver because I would take the advice of someone who understands navigation better than me but I would understand what 0.5 mile means like i'll know that i'll have

a little bit of time but i do have a spatial issue okay 0.5 you do know can we just talk about the story in the sense that do you think the guy would have was it the idea of a woman telling him like where to drive you think it was a sex thing no that was one question i have maybe uh also um the other question is uber didn't refund the driver right away when she complained and i just hate these companies that have like all the money in the world but they don't have someone you can just call and talk to on the phone and explain the context you have to write it or fill out i love that there's no one to call i love that you just like ask for it and they just are like yeah you went to the trouble to or fill out you know what i mean there's no one to call i love that you just like ask for it and they just are like yeah you went to the trouble to like fill out this form

here's your 40 bucks it's not always but that didn't happen with her right until it was public um yeah that's shitty like google if you have a problem with google and you can't get in you can't call anyone i just hate these companies it's just like yeah just put it put 20 into this thing that people normally need it just annoys me yeah like a call center you want a google call center yeah a google car call center i want a uh twitter call center but i think they know that the things that you want help with they can't give you like they can't give you your password like no matter what if you don't have the things that they're already telling you through the app they need then someone talking to someone and yelling at them is not going to get it for you any sooner but if i refund a ride and say hey my driver drove into a canal and they write back

hey we got to look into agreed on that we got to we got to look into this canal thing like that's something you'd make up and i love when you've you know that this wasn't in the united states right yeah it was in england okay yeah because you said manchester like it was like down the road you'd make up. And I love that. You know that this wasn't in the United States, right? Yeah, it was in England. Okay. Yeah. Cause you said Manchester, like it was like down the road.

Yeah. Rhode Island. And we have canals here, but not that many, or you know, not here in the Caymans, but in the U S I'm sure there's canals in the Caymans. But in the U S I feel like Venice has canals,

Venice, California. I don't know anywhere else that has canals, but canals is a very European. No, Venice, Italy is a very canal-centric place. I mean, that's what Venice, California is based off of the canals. Oh, it is? Well, it's either named because it has canals too, or it

got canals because they were like, let's just Venice it up. Do you know that we can go to Europe if you have a vaccine in the summer? We can travel. Did you hear that yesterday? Let's go to Europe. you have a vaccine in the summer? We can travel. Did you hear that yesterday? Let's go to Europe. Let's go to Paris. Eiffel Tower.

Yeah, let's upskirt. Let's like, anytime there's a picture of the Eiffel Tower from below, I'm always like, you pervert. It looks like an upskirt. Okay, next story. Yeah, how high does a person have to be where it doesn't become an upskirt because they're too far away where you can see the outline of her vagina? You know what I mean?

What do you? Well, I think anything that shows your vagina up your skirt is an upskirt because they're too far away where you can see the outline of her vagina you know what i mean what do you well i think anything that shows your vagina up your skirt is an upskirt so if your vagina isn't showing it doesn't count but if you're 200 feet in the air you can't i couldn't draw you it but it is an upskirt you know what i mean like oh oh oh oh yeah like every time you take a picture of a plane it's an upskirt of all the women on the plane well if it's a glass bottom yeah well those well there's that's uh elon musk is is creating those he wants to do that he is an upskirt from space okay is that the next story okay social media forces us to relive our ended relationships over and over because we creep on our exes, romantic partners, and friends. So essentially, when relations ended pre-social media, they were more easily forgettable, right?

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America have linked anxiety disorders directly to social media usage, and 20% of social media users say they have to check at least one of their accounts every hour to avoid feeling anxious. Essentially, we just have way too much. It's way too easy to see what our exes are up to and it hurts us. Yeah, I mean, this goes back to what I was saying of like, when you, the book that we talked about, Getting To, I Do, you are addicted to someone when you've been in a relationship with them and you're in love with them. And like you looking at their Instagram instagram you watching videos of you guys like you going through what looking at

photos in your phone is like if you're trying to quit booze it's like having little sips of it and you're gonna eventually want more and more it's better just to go cold turkey and now social media doesn't allow us to do that i mean last night i like so well would you block an x like would you block everything to keep you away from it like no matter what i mean if i was really done yes because i would want nothing like i just wouldn't care or i wouldn't need to because i wouldn't care you know but if i i still hold out hope i don't want to block because i want them to be able to get in touch with me somehow, which is ridiculous because they could get in touch with you a million ways. And you also want to make sure that they see that you're thriving and that any girl they may be with is also going to see how great your life is.

And, you know, like you got to have all these things open but like last night i even like i felt embarrassed asking you but being like hey does so-and-so still follow you hey is is what is going on on their account because they blocked me like checking in on these things that like are addicting they feel like really unhealthy behaviors to do you think there is a strength though and going to it and like it you know when you drink 90 cups of coffee to like defeat your fear of coffee so if you have this fear of what they're up to at least you could see it and be like oh they're just having a shitty life like you know what i mean like maybe it might be good to see that their life isn't that great but i think

that also feeds of like you are happy at someone else's dissatisfaction which is a bad yeah that's not a good feeling to be like happy with other people's suffering so and i don't want to live in that place but yeah i get what you're saying i love when i see an x in a hospital oh it makes me yeah but then you know they're getting a lot of attention and they might like lose a lot of weight from whatever is in that they're getting in the hospital for and they'll come out like svelter and then they'll get like banged out more um no i can always find a fucking bad but yeah like i i really struggle with that because anyone who dates me is really going to struggle because i am going to be everywhere the rest of your life if i plan on having a career like you will see me on billboards

you will see me on tv um i will haunt you And that's one of the things I love about this business is that people who have hurt me, you don't get to just like, forget that you hurt me. You'll be reminded of the one that got away the rest of your life. And when you and your girlfriend or your wife are sitting on the couch watching TV and I'm just a faint memory. And maybe she even kind of has an inkling that we dated or we're together. She'll feel your body tense from across the couch as an ad for my new late night TV show comes on. And maybe I'm hosting the golden globes and I look beautiful and I seem happy and radiant. And she'll feel a tenseness come from your end of the couch that isn't a tenseness based on the fact

that maybe you want to be with me, but that there's some lingering feelings you may feel later that night when you two make love. She may question if you're thinking about me instead of her as you are inside her. And the truth is, you probably will, and you probably have before, and you probably will again. Actually probably have before, and you probably will

again. Actually, you probably often think of other women while you have sex with this woman constantly. And guess what? When you had sex with me back when we were together, you probably thought of other women then too, because that's a thing men do. And it's a thing women do. But the fact that I will chronically and constantly be projected and dropped into your life to disrupt your happiness and your girlfriend or your wife's happiness ever so slightly because there is a feeling, an undercurrent of feeling that you might still have feelings for me or there might be some unfinished business there that you'll never get to do again. Or you might just slide into my dms and see if i'm still available and that i still have love for you that to me you can't put a price on i remember why do i feel like that's a commercial for a perfume for celebrity my new fragrance no yeah honestly it's just you in the desert trying to get Johnny Depp's attention.

Honestly, the first guy that ever broke my heart and like Pete Lee, go Google it if you want to look at it. It's on YouTube, the story of me and Pete Lee's comedian. He met me when I was like a nobody and we had this amazing romance. And then he chose his girlfriend at the time over me, even though he had promised me he was going to break up with her, all this bullshit. And we were very young and dumb. And I remember thinking, he thinks I'm an open mic-er in Kansas City

and that he's never going to see me again. I can't wait to be everywhere and haunt him. And I did. For the next 11 years, we didn't talk. And I was everywhere. Not everywhere, but I began, you know. He really couldn't avoid me, especially because he's a comedian.

And it was beautiful. Do you think you would have worked as hard if he didn't break your heart no because you want to be seen on the tv this is not the reason i do this but it is quite a incredible bonus yeah the only reason i want to get on the netflix one time is so my ex-girlfriend from college who broke up with me and married a heart doctor can see me be funny for seven minutes. Dude, come on. Let's be honest. And what seven-minute thing are you doing on Netflix? Oh, it's this new thing that I've been talking to them about that they haven't answered my calls.

Seven-minute sillies? I know. That title needs work. No, that's a great title. The seven minute silly. Wait, Andrew, don't you? Don't you? Isn't there a part of you that even though you're in a relationship that you like and

you don't think about your ex almost probably ever, but your ex from college, like, doesn't that kind of delight you to think that she might see you looking like hot and funny and famous? It does. But I think I'm so self-deprecating that she's like i didn't even know about the penis pump story or i didn't know these oh she'll hear all your embarrassing things yeah that's the that's the that's the other rub is that once they watch your special they're like ew i'm so glad i'm not dating this girl who's talking about her pussy lips and then and then you talk about

queefing one time and she's like ew like his girlfriend's like gross you dated her and he's like yeah she's disgusting and then i talk about like shitting my bed or something and they're like oh then they then they have sex over the like celebrating that we're not that he's not with me all she heard on this podcast was yeah i never was in fear of his small dick you know what i mean like that's all she heard that's all exactly but but no people like i just got interviewed by the hullabaloo the two-lane paper and when she knew me at two lane i was a fucking like big time loser like cheated on everything like really had no confidence so whatever it's just funny that it's come kind of full circle in the sense of that but anyways uh

just plugged did a hullabaloo paper at two lane uh that i never read i love it you gave them and you acted like we have heard of that you're like the hullabaloo you know the paper at two lane dude no people at two lane don't even read the fucking hullabaloo they maybe grab it on their way to class and do the crossword out of it like i did in every fucking class i think they hold their cocaine in it somehow i don't know apparently there's been a lot of orgies going on at two lanes so shout out um so why do i care can we do the other story tomorrow though because i love that story okay cool great why do i care god i love that voice okay model actor Tyrese, speaking of black draw, shocks his fans when his girlfriend, Zelly Timothy, shares a video on Instagram of him shaving her puss.

Oh, my God. A video? Oh, my God. Wait a second. This is Tyrese shaving. Okay, it looks like a video. It's a point of view of him. It looks like she's having an OBGYN exam.

He has the... Oh, he's using that intuition from the one that Jewel had. Did a commercial for. Just follow your heart. Do you remember when they used a Jewel song for the Schick intuition? Oh my God, he's shaving her pubes and you can hear it. Wait, do it again. Go to the part where you can hear it he's shaving very fast hold on and he's going up wait

that's hot i'm into it i'm into any guy that's like examining a pussy like he's so excited and like so like like i love the idea of a guy just being like oh my god like look at it like so like opening it like a kid on christmas not a real kid like a a tiny goat that would have been a funny sketch if he pulled out a chainsaw but like yeah like but but i think it's. I think there's something to be said about like, cause like, you know, guys are like, I don't want any pussy on my girlfriend. There's something like connecting. Yeah. There's something, there's a big connection where you can shave your girl's puss and then

still want to have sex with it after you treated it like, like it was like not sexual. You know what I mean? Right. But I think it can be very sexual, but I understand what you're saying. You can make shaving sexual. Andrew nikki what tyrese said because it's a little hard to hear it in the video tyrese can be heard in the clip saying uh going to put the creamer on it first mix it with some oil oh that's hot yeah see this is all very sexual like the slathering the hair and i'm guessing she didn't have a huge bush i'm guessing she just had a little bit of growth from the last time she shit because she shaves i would love a guy to

shave my pussy someday hey future husband out there or girlfriend of guy that i'm not dating anymore listening aren't you glad that he's not with someone who would want him to shave her asshole hairs anal hairs uh dude what i think it's a lot he got a lot of flack though for this good i mean because you put on instagram people are like my mom wanting people to box up their dildos let these people do whatever and i get it maybe we don't need to see it on his instagram but that anything that shows a man being not disgusted and almost turned on by a kind of a, yeah, like a task down there that isn't usually sexualized, I'm into. And I remember

hearing in college that a girl, my friend's roommate in college, hooked up with Screech when he came to town. He came to like the local comedy club. He had a huge car. And they hooked up and he shaved her pussy hairs. And I remember being like, what? He shaved her vagina? And they're like, yeah, that's what he was into. And I was like, ew.

But at the same time, I was kind of like, that's kind of cool. Yeah, but also that's what killed him. And he was used to, like, his hair looked like a big pussy bush.

So he was probably, So he knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing. Okay. So now I'd like to pivot into some, a couple of things we've talked about this week that I just want to follow up on real quick. First of all, I do know that the Eagle Eye Cherry is the name of the band that has saved tonight.

Not Buck Cherry. Buck Cherry is the name of the band that I should have used for my Conan appearance where I was talking about my dentist listening to that song. You're a crazy bitch, but you fuck so good. I'm on top of it. That's Buck cherry. And I said in the cone interview, Jane's addiction, which is not even it. Um,

but then I miss, yeah. Save tonight is by, uh, what is it called again? Eagle eye cherry. Eagle eye cherry. Got a lot of corrections on that.

Thank you to the listeners for following up on us on that. Uh, as always, you can write to us on Nikki Glazer pod, uh, on, in our DMS. You can also slide into my DMS at Nikki Glazer. Some of those I read, and you can also write into the show at, uh, the Nikki Glazer podcast at Gmail. Um, and then I also want to say that Sam Smith identifies as they, them, they identify as non-binary, not as a male. So I apologize to Sam Smith. I apologize to them. And I also apologize to them for saying that I don't enjoy their music as much as other people

do. And that is a me thing. That is not a they thing. Now, I also want to follow up on my request for, and I didn't expect this early in the podcast to admit to everyone that I have a real obsession with watching videos of warts being extracted from people's feet. It is a weird thing I'm into. I watch videos of it every single night on Reddit, uh, on YouTube. I have literally watched every single YouTube video of a wart being extracted from a foot that exists. And I mean, thousands of videos because every single night I searched for new ones and they all have, I've seen them all, you know, like there's no new footage of warts, uh, that I can find it.

I don't know what it does for me. It soothes me. It makes me feel like just very, I would rather, I will, I'm going to start pay. If there was like websites, like porn that I could pay for videos of this, I would. However, so many of our listeners have reached out to me and sent, uh, pictures and videos of their foot warts. Uh, planter warts is what I'm into. And I know you're like, ew, this is so weird, Nikki. You're so weird. You know how you like to watch pimple popping videos and blackheads being extracted and weird stuff?

We all have a weird thing. Don't judge me. I'm just being open about mine. And it's less people are into it. So many people sent me wart pictures. But the thing is when they send videos on Instagram, if you watch the video, it disappears. And I have to be in the right space.

Like if a good wart video comes in, it is so valuable to me and I have to be in the right space. Like if a good wart video comes in, it is so valuable to me that I want to be like in my bed, curled up, about to go to sleep really in a right state of mind to enjoy it. So I'll open it and I'll quickly shut it because I don't want it to go away. You know, like on Snapchat, how videos go away. So if you are sending wart videos, please send them to the Gmail, the Nikki Glazer podcast at gmail.com and by video i mean like if you want to send a video of you like picking at it like and also don't go straight to the picking we want to see everything i mean i want to see okay i want to see i want to see a video first

of you like kind of like showing me where it is i don't want a close-up shot because i need to see where on your foot it is and then i want to tell you what to do to it it's so weird this is exactly like the videos you were talking about before I know I want to see how you get into it and I almost want to go live with you so I can tell you what to do to it because if I could give myself a foot wart I would but I'm too scared to get them anywhere else

so I am just begging you that if you have a, uh, a wart on your finger, like on a callus part of your finger, there has to be like callus on it. Cause I want you to scrape that off. And then I want to see little dots where that are not seeds. Everyone thinks those are roots or seeds. Those are just blood capillaries that are feeding the wart. I know all about warts. I can literally go to medical.

I could like pass the wart part of medical school, dermatology school. You can start third year. I want to get into it. Like if comedy doesn't work out, I literally would become a foot doctor because I watch all of these foot doctors on YouTube. I subscribe to all of them.

They scrape off calluses. They get into like diabetic ulcers. I like kind of like that, even though the goo and the blood is kind of gross. I like a dry wart that's just being like carved out. And then you have like nothing in your foot, at least behind like a gaping hole that they cauterize. But I could do that too for you. Don't hurt yourself with these wart videos, but please send, if you have a wart on your foot, I am into it and I want to see it. And I will not tell you by name who you are, but like, I don't have any friends with

warts and I need, I need some. I would literally would literally if my if a boyfriend had a wart on his foot i would like him more final thought can we do the best best wart competition maybe i would love that i mean like and we'll put them up and we'll have the voters we'll have people vote i really want you to email them though you guys because a lot of times in the instagram dms i get a lot of criticism especially the Instagram DMs, I get a lot of criticism, especially like people just like to say, I love the podcast, but, or whatever. And I don't like to read any of that. So if it's, so I might miss it. If you start it with like, love the podcast,

here's my award. I might not even see it because there's so many times that love the podcast is followed by, but you're mean to Andrew or you talk too much. And I just like, can't handle that. Even though I do let some of it in. But keep those coming guys. I feel like I've been much

nicer to you in the recent weeks because of that feedback. Yeah just being a human being sure. Okay so It's hard when you do a podcast with your roommate and best friend that you already have a dynamic with and obviously I want to be nicer to you and I'm working on it but it's not about being a human being. Actually human beings

are terrible by nature. So I have to be nicer to you and I'm working on it, but it's not about being a human being. Actually human beings are terrible by nature. So I have to try to be nice sometimes because you frustrate me in a way that most of my loved ones frustrate me. So it means that we're closer. Final thought. You wanted to know, I wanted to tell you what happened last night where I went, I kind of need to give an apology,

I guess. I, I had Brenna stretch out my ball sack to see how far it would go. And Brenna is? The girl I've been seeing. And she stretched my ball sack out so far. Did she have to go in my room? Yeah, she went on the balcony and she actually drooped down six floors.

She was just holding on for dear life so nice to know that i was gonna get a like a rope in case we ever had a fire so i could escape from my room because i i just i'm like i would we're 12 floors up yeah we're 12 i would jump to my death and so i was gonna get a rope but it's nice to know that i just need your ball sack yeah it's all i need all we need is another ball sack on the ground once we jump. But so she pulls it. It's insane how long my ball skin, because you get older as a guy, your balls just, your skin gets longer. And I.

Wait, did it snap back and hit her in the face? Why do you have to apologize? I got to apologize because I took, I spread it like, you know, like bat wings and I covered her whole hand with my ball skin. And it was like trapped in her hand? Yeah. You burrowed her hand? I burrowed her hand.

And then she looks at me and she goes, that's too far. Oh, my God. It's in a playful way. In a playful way, of course. And I'm apologizing but it's in a playful way. In a playful way, of course. And I'm apologizing, obviously in a playful way,

but like, are there things that you do sexually where it's like, yeah, it's hilarious to cover your whole hand with my ball skin, but maybe next time you're down playing with my balls, you might only think of that and it might turn you off. You know what I mean? Right. Like I never really want to balls.

I don't want guys to be like silly with their dick unless i want to be silly with it but the thing is i do that too sometimes with like uh with penises i get real silly and like well sometimes i'll look up and the guy's just like do you need like time alone with this because i'll be like just being i can be very very silly and i think it's cute because i just like if I love someone I like their penis so much and I like to like do funny things with it and like talk to it and act like it's like a separate entity and sometimes you do look up and the guy is just like kind of disgusted by you and it was like are you a seven-year-old playing with a doll right now like what is going

on for you right now yeah what is this like play-doh for you noah have you as a guy ever like gone not too far but being like playful sexually where it's like okay this isn't hot anymore like what you're doing is too silly or i can't remember that ever happening but i was wondering did it feel good to stretch your balls around your girlfriend's hand, or was there no feeling? I bet it felt good for me, honestly. Like, it would kind of feel cool. Like a warm glove? Yeah, like an already warm glove.

Ew. But also cool. That's how I'm going to ask someone to marry me, I think. I remember one time. I'm going to put my ball skin over over your hand i was getting choked by a boyfriend sexually and i wanted him to be like more aggressive and not like he was just learning how to do it and i talked about this in my special but he literally was choking me and he just and and i was just wanting more from him and he like didn't have any lines and so he literally goes

i'm gonna kill you and I just was like, no, I like took his hands off. Like what? Okay. Well, that was quite a leap there, sir. And he was like,

really? And I was like, I mean, there's, there's, show me how you got there. Mike, the men,

Mike, the men. What do you put his ski mask on before? It was so funny. He's just like, I'm going to kill you. And there was, it was just like, that was, was he trying to be funny? It was so funny. He was just like, I'm going to kill you. And it was just like, that was.

Was he trying to be funny or was he trying to be hot? He was really just, he struggled with trying to come up with something that matched choking a woman for the first. I think we had just gotten into that kind of play, which I do enjoy a good choking, but you don't need to say anything. My maid is here, so I got to go. Thank you for listening to the show today, everyone. We will be here tomorrow for sure. Andrew maid is here, so I gotta go. Thank you for listening to the show today, everyone. We will be here tomorrow for sure. Andrew will be here. I love that yesterday's show ended with a Tats

rabbit and today a maid. What's next? I know. Who knows? Thank you so much, Noah. Thank you to new listeners. Thank you to old listeners. Thank you to chronic listeners. We're going to have merchandise soon. We're going to have videos soon. But as always, we will have four shows a week for you. And keep telling

your friends about us. Tell people who've never even heard of podcasts about us because they're out there. And get them into other podcasts too. Serial's a great one to start with. Thank you, Andrew. Talk to you later. Noah, talk to you later. Thank you. Love you guys. Bye, guys. Catch Jon Stewart back

in action on The Daily Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn

the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out

and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be

a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him.

From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction.

You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Some people won't give you the real talk on drugs, but it's time we know the facts. Fentanyl is often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills. You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap. Thank you.