The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #230 Unbridled Desire

Episode Date: June 8, 2022

Nikki is cramping and cried on the toilet last night. She and Andrew talk about role play and why Andrew's girlfriend likes his new "facial haircut". They review the latest episode of Welcome Home Nikki Glaser? on E!, Nikki is not proud of exploding at her parents and they have a good laugh about Andrew having to meet Bobby Flay while wearing Nikki's clip on bangs. You Heard It Here First, Nikki got her phone stolen but doesn't care too much and a majority in the room would eat poop to look young. Nikki finds all sorts of treasures in her Reddit Dump. In the Final Thought she admits that she loved getting attacked by a bird for her birthday. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Legacy starting January 20th on MLK Day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr,

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on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season.

We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser podcast. Welcome. It's Tuesday. And we were not here yesterday. It's the first show of the week. I apologize. It sounds like I'm being facetious or sarcastic.

Sarcastic meaning that it has more meanness behind it than facetiousness. But I'm being neither and neither. I am sorry that I didn't have a show yesterday, but we have one today and we're here and we're in a good mood. Andrew has a new haircut on his face. That's one way to put it. Yeah. He has a mustache. Yeah. It's strong, huh? We're going to get into it. Let's just get into it. Noah's here. She's in Arizona. Andrew and I are both in St. Louis. It is Tuesday. I'm cramping right now, but I'm not feeling it because I took pain pills.

But I just know what's happening. There's horrible pain happening in my uterus right now. Sometimes when I take pain pills, it makes me just feel like I'm just blind spotting it. I didn't fix the thing that's happening. I mean, are there drugs just for the cramp? Yeah, it's called MyDoll. MyDoll. It sounds like a toy you get as a four-year-old girl.

MyDoll, MyDoll. It just helps you get ready to cramp up. It's just a little stuffed animal pill. What does it feel? Does it feel like a stomachache? I'll tell you. Thank you for asking. Thank you for asking because I will tell you exactly how it feels because I did not get cramps until I was a 38-year-old woman.

And I'll say it started in my 37. And I've talked about it before, but last night it woke me up at 3 in the morning. I knew I was getting my period today because i have the flow app and it tracks it and it was dead on and does the flow app give me an alert like it's like no but i mean i log my symptoms and i see it popping up on the calendar when it's supposed to start and i go on tuesday so it started tuesday early morning and um man i woke up and it just feels like this exactly feels like you have a stomach virus and you're you have to have explosive diarrhea and there's nothing to come out and there's nothing to make it feel better except pain pills.

There is nothing. I just went and sat on the toilet, which like because in my brain, I've never had this before. So it's just like you have to you have diarrhea. So I'm just sitting on the toilet. Like because in my brain i've never had this before so it's just like you have to you have diarrhea so i'm just sitting on the toilet like what is like gas like it just feels like your stomach is a taut balloon but it's not and i'm pushing on it and like i really almost woke up chris and was like will you punch me in the stomach i wanted to be severely punched in the stomach because i wanted the pain on the inside to match the outside and maybe it like when i used it was a migraine in my stomach it was as bad of the it's the worst pain i've ever felt which you deal with a migraine similarly where i used to when i was on and it's

all connected to my fucking hormones when i was on the stupid um iud the marina iud i used to get just the worst migraines not the worst because there there's, I'm sure, but it's the worst pain I've ever felt before. And I used to want Chris to punch me in the face. Like he never would, but I'd be like, please, because I just don't want this. I want some other pain in the area that will take away from that. And, um, yeah, I was just crying on the toilet. I was, had a bucket in front of me. I was like spitting up. I was just like, it was just, and then, you know, eventually I'm like, okay, I'll give in. And it's like, I was so in pain, I couldn't even take a pain pill.

Like, I couldn't even look for Tylenol or anything. But I luckily, you know, scrummaged around and found some. And then I found the heating patch that I got myself from your Uber Eats order. And I slapped this thing on my belly and it just didn't do enough it wasn't hot enough and I'm laying in bed just writhing and Chris has to get up at five for radio and I'm like waking him up it's like this is between three and five and we went to bed at like one he's getting no sleep so I just decided to sleep on the bathroom

floor and then I was like wait maybe if I get in the if i make a really hot bath and just make it as hot as i want the heating pad to be so i made a scalding hot bath and just laid in it and that really actually helped it might have been around the time though that the pain pills were kicking in yeah you don't know but i'm really like i i wrote my i'm gonna write my mom or i planned on it but being like do you have any codeine or any kind of like heavy duty pain pill that you stole from grandma when she died and got in her cabinets because i it was the worst so what i did do though was i went i started googling as soon as my stomach started feeling better it feels like does that is that accurate noah do you experience this ever not to that extreme but i've had um yeah i've had really bad pain it's just we just deal

with it and we just let it go through us and wake up the next day and start all over talking about their cramps or like complaining and i just never related because i got like a little cramping here and there but it was just like i just thought girls were kind of like i always kind of think i have a higher threshold of pain so i'm just like i didn't dismiss their pain but i was just like they're kind of being yeah over dramatic over dramatic it is i have to admit though i've been on birth control since i don't know like decades and i only got off it in december so i'm only starting to experience like what my real period is like yeah and the cramps are pretty bad yeah and that's the thing I'm not on the pill and so I looked up

like I just looked up cramps like I'm like a 13 year old girl that's just like what's happening to me yes I really I feel like I can describe this this for men because I feel like a man like I've never just I've never dealt with this in my life i didn't have my period for the first you know i got my period when i was 15 and then i lost it by the time i was 17 and then i didn't have it again regularly till i was 30 something and then i was on the pill forever and so this is the first time i'm experiencing this and it is i looked it up and then it said that the pill can like regulate this and I don't want to be on the pill because I just I don't like the idea that I heard the pill makes it so you never are like putting out sex hormones like it's always making you in a constant state of I'm pregnant so like these little imperceptible things that your body does or like that your smells you make that set tell men like hey i

pheromones like yeah your pheromones just like little things that happen to your body that make men want to fuck you and marry you and just be attracted to you which i rely on not only for my career but like my relationship um even if you think you don't you you do. And also, when you're pregnant, people kind of don't look at you. The reverse of that also is a lot of women get off of birth control with their partner, right? And they realize that when they met him,

they were attracted to the wrong sense. And women realize like, there's something about my partner that I don't like. That happens. It just confuses everything. People get off the pill or they get on a pill and they're disgusted by they're literally disgusted by their boyfriend they don't like his smell or they get off it based on if they met him when they were on it because it changes everything about your attraction about their attraction to

you yeah and your body a lot of pills i don't know the science behind this obviously because i'm only like half a scientist i only went to you know i only have my um masters in science but i don't know anything but i do know that there are certain pills that mimic that you're constantly in a state of you're basically your body thinks it's pregnant and so it won't shed its lining but you don't have a stomach to have the people be like oh you're pregnant you just look like a woman who can't carry a baby and i'm already like you know toe in that line i don't want so i looked into it and i just i i i remembered the pain i was in and i just told myself when this pain stops do whatever you can to not feel this way again trust say nikki that tell

trust nikki when you're gonna forget it because i will forget the pain and go i don't need to be on the pill so i hang over so i signed up for this like um thing and i you know telehealth health messaged with a doctor got prescribed the pill right away paid 40 bucks to like text message with a doctor and i'm getting the nuva ring put up there stat i don't want to do this anymore i don't care if it's it's i've been on the nuva ring before and it's interesting that uh that's that smell because i honestly i go through life where i don't unless it's like a nasty fart or walking by a subway i don't even realize i smell like a smell i know i know that's what's interesting like you don't even know it's happening you don't even know why it's affecting

you last night like after i hadn't seen chris in so long and we hung out and we were just like you know had like a lot of loving moments together and afterwards like i just like he came up and hugged me and i just like was like wanted to eat his skin i was like god i just love your smell like i am so in love with you and it was like it was just it and he smelled the same as he did an hour before when i first saw him which it just felt like a little bit new and like almost, you know when you haven't seen your partner for, like even the third of the person that you've been dating for nine years, you haven't seen them for a little bit.

It's a little awkward, which is kind of exciting because it feels a little new. But it was so wild. Like after, you know, for women, it takes a little bit for us to like

get that kind of horniness that men kind of come into the building with. And like that, that like desire that like that unbridled desire and that was what i was feeling after we had you know spent a lot of time just like you know kissing on each other i was just like get back over and he was kind of like you know like trying to make dinner and like putting a pizza in the oven i was just like can i just like will you just like lay on me and i could just eat your hair i was like so it was because i was

about to but that that's the kind of thing it was like the same he was the same he didn't put off new smells yeah it's very interesting like how yeah no i i feel i felt that way yesterday actually yeah with brenna because i mean it's been what four days four days yeah i don't know something there's yeah there's so i don't know yeah you it's exciting you don't get it don't know. It's exciting, though. You don't get it. She comes home, and I'm just, I'm all horned up because your boy, you know. Saves the stock. Saves the stock because that's what she loves is just an ungodly amount of, you know, jizz,

which, you know, women love that. They just want more the merrier, right? Are you saying that facetiously? Yeah. Because we kind of do. I don't know. I do. Well, I think you like

seeing it because you know he kept it for you maybe or or is it just huge whores i don't know i like a lot of cum dumpsters yeah thank you noah listen that's how cute is noah that she that she cum dumpsters yeah like that is such a noahism just piping in with the most now could there be too much cum no what if it was i'm not speaking for all women and i know that some women out are out there just like no i i because i remember dr drew telling me after his prostate uh cancer he had his prostate removed or whatever they do and he shoots nothing no and he loves it because there's no cleanup but there is something or maybe it's clear i don't think it's clear i think it's just nothing i think it's just like great you could quit whenever you want it's like a howling wind that comes out

it's like wearing a condom and pretending to come but you don't have like he could just be like oh i gotta go watch SportsCenter. But she puts it up to her eye. And it's like a little one of those ocular tests that shoots wind into your eye to see the refraction. She just feels like, whew. Yeah. And she can tell. She's like, nothing came out. Not even a wind.

Not even a hot breath. He goes, are you a doctor? Am I? No. I think he is. I'm pretty sure he is. So you save your stock and she comes in oh yeah it's just i was horned up boy i mean i was but are you nervous when you're horned up i feel like when men get

horny which is the basis of my entire act they don't they're not like nervous they're just like on autopilot they're like they're almost zombie like like nothing will stop them well it's funny because she's on her period and she mentioned she's like i think you kind of like it that you don't have to do anything i was like wouldn't anyone like it if they don't have to do anything and they get the treat what do you mean do anything oh like go down on her or like just have set like anything like i literally like could come back home be exhausted lay back and get why don't you do it i don't understand because she doesn't like to have sex on her period well it's literally the first day she doesn't like to do it on like the so oh so she just yeah yes got it i mean that's fun it's fun i mean who wouldn't like a complete like treat where you have to give

nothing in return oh and then i shaved my mud i shaved my i trimmed my beard like as a joke no yeah it was just i was trimming my beard just to trim my face and then i was like i'll just leave the mustache just kind of a a pranky prank yeah kind of a fun it's kind of like maybe if you left like a bunch of pubic hair and like as like a joke and then chris was like i that's my favorite thing i've ever seen yes and that's what i came out of the bathroom and brenna's like i'm so into this because you look different because you look like a new guy i love when she's like i want to fuck dave's his beard because i'm like this guy who's this guy yeah who's this fireman with fucking who's ready to fucking yeah she'll want you to take it off soon to have a new guy show up yeah yeah i'm not it really is novelty like can you

wear heels people think women don't like novelty and that we don't like a little bit of role play action we actually we we i wish i could get into some of the things that i've been doing um in my personal life but i want to keep it personal but like what i want to say is that the more i get into um sensory deprivation in which you kind of don't know who's in the room with you and they can pretend to be anyone else. Because if you're trying to do role play and the person is standing in front of you

and they look like you can see them and they're pretending to be someone else. Oh, so you gotta be pitch black in a small tub floating? No, you just put on an eye mask, a silky sweet eye mask. Save a lot of money. Yes, no, no, no.

You don't have to be in a float tank you don't have to like joe rogan in a cryo chamber it's so funny you go in one of those planes where they filmed apollo 13 where you float in the air for 17 seconds oh that'd be such a funny way to fuck it would be really hard up in the air oh my god that's so funny but there's just something about they'd have to go on the roof you know what i mean women crave like new just not as much as men do but it is interesting what that there's a perfect balance i found of like your person that you love and trust pretending to be someone new so you don't actually have to have someone new it is still the person but you get to kind of exercise those fantasies of someone new

where like it's very interesting i don't know i just like and i let's say in the past i've done the thing where you you talk to the person who is your boyfriend or the person you're with, and they're pretending to be someone else. Someone specific or a job of some sort? No, it can be anything. So let's say a job, whatever your fantasy is. A Rottweiler.

Well, they have to talk, I think. They have to understand. Something like that? No, no. Maybe without a mustache? Is it the mustache? I think. They have to understand. Something like that? No. Maybe without a mustache? The mustache? I think it was the lisp. The drywall had a lisp.

I feel like it did. But what you do is, for me, this is very hot. You talk to the person that is not your boyfriend about your boyfriend. To him. Oh, okay. And he is your boyfriend but you're giving him compliments through this character you say like you can't do things like my boyfriend does good luck nice try oh you're not gonna be as good and then they end up being like trying to get you like oh you think i can't do better than your stupid boyfriend or whatever it is and then you compete with like

so it makes that person compete with this compete with a fictionalized version of that with themselves really and they're playing a role that they didn't really know they're playing and then you are also like free to be like actually you're better than him because it's still him yes yes yes and he doesn't feel like. It's like, it's very interesting and it's very fun. And all it requires is a sleep mask that you buy from Amazon and a little change of voice. And a float tank. Yeah, and a sensory deprivation tank and noise canceling headphones. And about 400 milligrams.

And seven guys in the room. Psilocybin mushrooms. Yes. It is funny to think like you know if brenna was like you know why don't you be a doctor or something like i'm not smart enough to convey certain characters like i'd have to be like construction worker uh i could do fireman but like anything grilled cheese salesman welcome to melt shop you turned on, actually.

I've been dating someone else for the last three years. That is funny when you start asking too many questions of the character, and they're like, I haven't really worked out this character yet. I don't even know his name. That's great. Oh, shit. Yeah. All right, let's take a quick break and come back with more.

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which one the latest one no I've not seen the latest no did you watch it yet? Which one? The latest one? No, I've not seen the latest one. Noah, did you watch it? Yes. Every Sunday at 7 p.m. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. You know, it's been hard for me to watch it for whatever reason. Because I realize why. Because I'm alone. On Sunday nights, I'm either here alone.

If I had a person to watch it with, it would be more fun. But alone, I just get too critical and then I just don't end up watching it. You can always FaceTime me. But I think everyone else should watch it. And I would watch it with you. That's really nice of you. That's a good idea. You can FaceTime her. Noah, what did you think of this episode? What happened?

Really funny. I mean, they used the preview of you kissing that statue in your parents river house for so many episodes i remember that like yesterday i don't know why i remember that so like more than anything from the show i know we really i really went to town on that thing you sucked its finger yeah i mean i mean that was commitment i really enjoyed i enjoyed it too much of like treating that thing Like it was my boyfriend I was really craving

Something back then Yeah you could even Make a statue To role play Yeah oh my god You start fucking Statues around St. Louis Oh my god

Like literally Pierre St. Louis Or whatever his fucking name is Down by the art museum But he's not Pierre I have to just get up On his horse though Oh yeah Yeah but he's not I'm i have to just get up on his horse though oh yeah yeah

but he's not i'm up there with a fucking mask on people are like what you don't need to wear that it's dangerous um they're like we'd rather take the statue down than watch whatever this is willie mays i'm climbing up at the fucking ballpark village is he here huh oh i didn't know willie i thought willie mays oh he got really excited that that Willie Mays was from St. Louis for a second. Isn't he? He's my favorite baseball player. I think he is. I think you're thinking of Bob Gibson maybe.

No, Willie Mays was on the Cardinals. No, he was on the Mets. Some Willie was. Oh, Willie. I don't know. Rudolph maybe? No, there was a Willie. But anyway, back to the show.

Yeah, so, oh yeah, you got left, which is really funny. Oh, yeah. Andrew, you got lefted me, which is, you know, the gay sense of the team. I'm so glad I made it. Yeah. That was really funny. That was not planned. It's everything I watch on the show.

I'm like, oh, my God. If I was watching reality show, I'd go. This was they planned this. We really got out to go to the bathroom spontaneously. That was not planned. Then Andrew decided to leave us spontaneously. Not planned. Yeah. Did they show us pulling up on the car on the back of the car yes they did they did okay yeah that was really fun um and also it was it was funny to see that because on the podcast

many moons ago andrew was talking about the game uh we got left that he and his friends used to play on each other so i had like an extra context oh we described it probably in the interview that used to play a game and the interview did not make it probably yeah but oh I got made some I got you yeah yeah I think it's still it read what else and so then we hung out at the house out there. The house and also the couples therapy. Oh, yeah. That was. Whoa, that's a nice blend of two different things.

Yeah. I mean, Anya told me she was like, it's the most compelling. You're the most compelling couple on reality TV. There's a lot going on there. That's like cool to like analyze and to see. And because she knows us, she's like, there's a lot here. Like, and I, it's almost like, I'm. Were the cameras in the therapy? Oh yeah.

Oh my God. Yeah. And we still see that therapist. People are going to be like, why weren't there five more episodes of that? We still see, I know. We still see that, that therapist, Willie, Willie McGee. Willie McGee. We still see that therapist.

And from that first episode episode that was the first time we ever saw her the one that you see on the episode and she's really good and yeah that that kicked us off so it's an example of something you do in reality tv for the sake of reality tv okay let's go to the therapist which i've been trying to get us to go to for a while and it just wasn't happening the whole storyline is but before the show yeah yeah and the show brought about like okay let's do this the fact that he agreed to do it on camera and i don't even know what we got into a lot of people wrote me being like my boyfriend i watched this episode and like we have the same issues i think we got into the fact that he like when he gets annoyed with me or like gets you know

upset with me he shuts down yeah did we get into that yes a little which i think is so relatable and i really do think that it probably helped some men if they saw this maybe think about going to couples therapy i don't know i hope so well it was i mean i was watching it with avi and i was the one who would always like shut down and like not return phone calls and like i'm gonna make him wait a whole weekend until he hears from me just to make him nervous and crazy and i was so it was good i was like you see i'm not the only one who has who does stuff like this yes because it's not it's honestly good i used to get so upset about it and i still do it's like the thing that makes me feel worse like it's it's it's the it's

for me it feels cruel when someone does it to me but I really do realize like there are sometimes things that I do out of anger or out of like being frustrated with him that are like so or with anyone that are so out of character I mean I cussed my parents out the other day like I said fuck you and hung up on them on the phone and And I was like, then don't come to the interview. Fuck you. And this was three days ago, four days, five days ago, I guess, on Thursday. Fuck you. Hung up on them.

Yeah. How did that come about, though? I can tell you exactly what happened. I was running late to this radio show that they were on with me. I was feeling anxious already. We go there. I'm in the garage going to my car to go there. And Luigi's with me.

He's pulling on the leash. A dog adding to like, oh, pulling. And I feel bad that I haven't walked him enough today. And now he has to get in the car instead of going on a proper walk. And then my parents call. And I pick up and i go speakerphone hello and i just hear oh my god oh my god like literally the sound you hear before your parents die in a car accident like i can hear they're in a car you know when you pick up a phone

you can hear the like static in the air where you're like oh i know they're in a car that i already established immediately and then i hear my mom go, AJ, oh, my God, oh, my God. Like, and I've heard, I have a friend whose sister died in a car accident, and he heard her die. And that was what he heard was like, oh, my God. And then cut off or he heard like, you know, the fucking crumpled steel. And, you know, that happens frequently because phones are distractions. So these people, so I in that moment thought my parents were about to die or be in a really critical car accident.

And then as soon as it wasn't that, I hear my parents just screaming at each other, AJ, it was right there. And he goes, oh, my God. We almost just fucking died. We almost just fucking died. And my mom's like, you shouldn't have done – like they're just screaming at each other. And then they're like, where is this thing? Where are we supposed to go, Nikki? So they're taking that all out.

And then I go, I texted you. Are you guys okay? I texted you. Where to go? Well, call us. Why are you texting us? And I go, I've literally never in the past five years. I text you everything.

And I texted you both. And this was hours ago. I didn't just text you while you were driving. Where we were everything. And I texted you both. And this was hours ago. I didn't just text you while you were driving. I texted you yesterday and today, the location. And I just go, you know what? Fuck you. And it was just my anger at them for turning their anger on me. My anger at the world for almost taking my parents from me.

It's just I did not have the strength to not go to my knee-jerk response, which is, fuck you, hang up, and, like, run away from this problem and, like, punish. And it was embarrassing. It happened in front of Taylor. And I'm in front of Taylor, who's my high school friend, who I have been the worst version of myself to my parents in front of her. My friends used to look at the way I talked to my parents and, like, be aghast. But what they didn't understand was, well, they did did understand they would hear how my parents talked to me and we just fought in a different way than other people like sometimes i tell people like oh my mom used to say this and then run away or my dad like you know things you share about your family and people go wait you're

what did they do yeah and it's so normal to you like that's how you fight or that's how you communicate and it's it's not them being bad parents they everyone's trying their fucking best i could see how that fuck you know came about like i when i hear this story i'm like yeah i could i that's justified not just i don't i don't know because my dad just gets so mad at me when well he's they're taking traffic or they're taking the road like that's road rage and it goes towards you and you're like well i don't deserve this just died and they're freaking out and so now they're they're taking traffic or they're taking the road like that's road rage and it goes towards you and you're like well i don't deserve this just died and they're freaking out and so now they're they're they want to blame someone that isn't them yeah and it's my fault because i didn't tell them which way to go and so they're they're trying to get over to go on 40 instead of 270 and so they're

blaming me and then all of a sudden i have the blame of my parents almost death on my shoulders while i'm in the elevator with the dog. It was just like, you know what? Fuck you. Don't even come. I don't need you to come. Now, when you go to the interview, is that conversation happening? We parked at the same time and I ran over the car and I was like, I am so sorry I said

that to you. Like, I thought you were going to die. It was my rage coming out. I literally thought like that was my i i run that scenario through my head of like picking up the phone because my friend told me about his sister dying that way that is i'm i'm waiting for that call like it is on my mind so like the second i heard it i was like this is it where i hear my parents die because my mom's always calling me from the car and you just hear her go oh god and she goes oh god someone just pulled out and you hear those

little moments so it was that and it was And what was their reaction to the apology? They were really like, it's okay. We were scared, too. And it was all cool. And then we went on this radio show and had a great time. And then I apologized after again, being like, I really need you to know I'm so embarrassed the way I snapped at you. And I did not mean to say that. I was just so scared you were dying.

That's all I'm scared of is my parents dying. It is literally my biggest fear. I'm becoming becoming obsessed with it because they're aging so much and i'm seeing it that i just like it's all it's all i joke about it's like all i it's just my biggest fear i mean who how do you handle that how do you i don't know what i'm gonna do i'll be fine but uh you know my life will change in a different way. But Jesus Christ. We'll have the mullet house to ourselves, which is pretty cool. Oh, yeah.

My parents' house is the mullet house. On to lighter things. We had a great weekend. Yeah, it was fun. We did three shows. We drove to each of them. We did Cleveland, Pittsburgh, and Baltimore, which all feel kind of like the same city. Yeah, it's that same, like, I don't know, gritty kind of.

But they were all very different. What do you mean by that? Just like the venues or the actual people that were at the show? The people and the crowds. I mean, they were amazing crowds. Yeah, every single show was really great. And the meet and greets were so nice. They felt smart while not being offended.

They were hard laughers. They wanted more. We talked about the celebrity that came on Sunday night and then you're meeting this person. So my friend Bobby Flay, who I met doing his show Beat Bobby Flay, came to our Baltimore show. What you know of Bobby Flay, too. You got to beat Bobby Flay.

Bobby Flay, you think he's intense he's an asshole he might be an asshole he's from New York he's Irish reputation of being like an asshole because that's that is a reputation that precedes him of being like I'm a grilling man and I don't know he's like grilling man he's like he'll roast you because he like likes the grill and he's like he's just cocky and like New york and like i don't know you just you have a perception of him so uh i already had met him and did his show so i knew he was like nice but there's still you know i didn't spend that much time with him so who knows what we're gonna get so he we all think he's not gonna come backstage and we're not gonna meet him till after the show

yeah i brought along this i bought these bangs on Amazon because I wanted to try to see what I would look like with bangs. And I thought it would just be a funny thing to play with. I bought two pairs of these clip-on bangs. And I brought one on the road with me. And Andrew put it in his hair when we're backstage. They're blonde bangs, too. So they really. Blonde bangs.

You saw this on his Instagram. Gray in my beard. Yeah. Yeah. You look like a precious doll. I look like Lloyd Christmas's friend. Right. I can't.

I couldn't think of his name. From Dumb and Dumber. What was the other? Yes. Yes. Jeff Bridges. No. Jeff Daniels.

Yeah. Some guy named Patty the Batty, which is a UFC star. Some kind of weird king. You look like Tiger King. Oh, a little bit of ufc star uh some kind of weird tiger tiger king oh a little bit of tiger king that kind of thing it was definitely not a look that it's funny for your friends what's his name from uh waiting for guffman quirky okay yeah i feel that and or or the guy from no country for old men that's so serial killer vibe same kind of haircut like the bowl cut but with uh blonde bangs and like two strands on the

side that kind of come down so when Anya put them in her hair backstage she did not clip them in she was just setting them there and then I clipped them into Andrew's hair and he has no idea how the clip works it's very simple but he has no idea how it works so he has them in his hair and he's like I don't want to rip out my balding head and he's in the next green room

like next to mine and he's on this couch like taking selfies. Like, give Andrew a mirror and like some new thing for him to look at himself. To have fun with? Yeah, yeah. To have fun with? Yeah. Give Andrew... He's like a parakeet. If you give him

a mirror and a new, like, thing, he'll look at himself like it's another person, that he has a new friend. Yeah, he's a nice guy i like that guy ring light with some good lighting he'll take his shirt off yeah and a and a and an hbo job yeah his shirt will come off and his nipples will be hard so what so andrew is in this there is literally a fainting couch like a lounge like a chaise lounge it's like the chair from titanic where paint me like one of your French girls. And Andrew's laying on that taking pictures of himself.

And all of a sudden we hear Matt. No, Matt was taking the photos of me. Oh, okay. So how did it go down? So Matt's taking photos. I start hearing Bobby Flay is here. And I'm like, like I was a little. Yeah, I mean.

Because I had this. It's not even like a curly wig it it's i look like a serial killer like there's no reason for me to have this thing he's dressed normal otherwise he doesn't know me he doesn't know that i'm your opener he has no idea who you yeah he does know who you are because he's from instagram but you didn't know that he knew that i didn't know that he knew that so uh he's he tried to probably take it andrew's probably tried to like take it off or like get it off a little bit but there was no way he was gonna rip out any of his precious you know it would look crazier than a guy that just has a wig on a guy trying his hardest to take this wig off before he meets you so bobby is walking down the hall

that the green room that andrew's in is like right there and and Andrew just has to meet him with this wig on. And it's so funny because he doesn't really have time to explain it either. No, because he's also going to say hi to you. So I have three seconds to defuse this bomb. He's just on the way. Matt is walking down the hallway and Andrew just shows up. I'm like a British soldier protecting me. I was crying laughing at him. I just go to him.

I go, this isn't my normal look. Which to me is hilarious because it's like he was almost saying, I'm just trying this out for the night. It's almost like you with your mustache right now. Yeah, yeah. You would think people would notice this. But if they were meeting you for the first time, they would just think this is your normal.

But the wig is like. I know, but the way you said it. Yes. Was a way that you would probably say about the mustache today. Like, this isn't my normal look. Yes, yes. What was his response? Times 10.

Yeah, what was his response? He goes, you're a fucking idiot. And I was like, man, Bobby Grill. Bobby Grill fly. And he slammed the door in your face. Yeah, yeah. He's like, get away Bobby Grill. Bobby Grill Flay. And he slammed the door in your face. Yeah, yeah. He's like, get away from my fucking Tabascos. No, he was like, all right, cool.

It wasn't cool. It was more like, yeah, okay. Because then I came out, and then it was me seeing my friend, and then there was no time for Andrew to actually get. And then I go, and then I see Andrew, and I think I was the one that was like, this is a joke he i i put this and i unclipped it i was like you poor it was almost like untangling a sea turtle that didn't know how to get out of it out of the uh coca-cola let me help you he doesn't normally look like this this is a joke that i put on him and uh it was so funny

it was it made me laugh so hard to hear you just go this isn't what i normally like because you just you could have just been like this is a one of nicky's like wigs i was putting on for a joke but you were just like this isn't normally how i look but that could have been like maybe if i leaned into it i could have just been like what's up bobby and he would be like god damn i respect whatever the fuck that is so confident with that fucking yeah the guy that eats the berries and cream on bangs clip on taylor swift bangs i mean there is a look to that i mean there are you know there's something about a guy having bangs like that and not giving a fuck where people are drawn to it if machine gun kelly started wearing that thing tomorrow we would be doing you'd be doing it you we could get you there we could get

enough hot cool guys doing that that you could naturally yourself start clipping on this ufc fighter is like he's the hottest rising ufc fighter and he literally if you type in patty the baddie he's from ireland okay it's identical like he just leans into this hair and everyone's like why do you have hair like that well Theo Vaughn's mullet when I first saw Theo Vaughn's mullet this is 2014 15 16

I remember he walked in the green room I was backstage Amy was having a show and she had a bunch of her friends on it and he walked in the green room of this backstage area and he walked in and I started laughing and I'm like oh my god i thought it was like a halloween joke or some guy like he had a role in something and i was like what's the what what are you doing what is this for and he's like it's my hair and i couldn't understand it it wasn't even like he

was confident about it i think it it was it wasn't like i was like whoa i like it it didn't make sense to me that it wasn't a joke and then eventually you just get used to it and you go oh i guess that's why now people that's a style that i would not scoff at at all well there's things about the mullet or the mustache where i was like that looks like my parents initially you think initially you think that's your personality like in my mind i go oh this is your personality like you do get a lot of attention for the mullet or the mustache from regular people like if you i used to go to a bar with this fucking thing and it was even thicker and you would have thought i was the mayor of the bar like people were like man that's a fucking you know you get a lot of

attention and you get a lot of yes i mean that's why you have that right now is brenna gave you attention oh yeah yeah yeah yeah one person now all i need is but so but so the idea though is like it's your whole part you know they have mustache contest they have mullet contest someone there was i just saw a guy he just had a mullet and he got everyone lost their mind the guy didn't even talk yet you know it's just some short like viral video everyone's like whoa and he's like he's no different he just decided to add a couple inches and people peacock and man yeah girls love it girls love a thing that they can comment on i mean it's classic pickup artist technique to do have something ridiculous about your look yeah and then girls go what is this and then they go what i like it and then you then the girl feels stupid for trying to make fun of something that you're confident

about and it makes us want to fuck you. It's a classic technique. Let's get to the news. You heard it here first. Oh, yeah. Apparently you heard it here first. It's Tuesday, folks.

You know what that means? It is Tuesday. Hope you're having all the swells out there. Even you, mullet man and mustache man. And meniscus man. I can see you with a mullet. I really could. A hundred percent. A balding

mullet, though. Okay, so maybe I couldn't. But you would if you could. No, I couldn't. I would... Alright, Noah. You do it as a joke and then you keep if you could. No. I couldn't. I would. All right, Noah. You do it as a joke and then you keep it. Maybe.

This weekend, you guys will be on tour starting Thursday. You're on tour. Boise. Phoenix. Salt Lake City. Utah. Boise, Salt Lake City, and Phoenix. Yes. Where I'm going to see you you which I'm really excited about

oh yeah Noah's going to come on it's Saturday right? yes so if you want to come out to that show and tickets are available at nickyglaser.com and if you go alone you can just message me going alone in all caps your full name and the show you're going to wait a minute

what happened to your phone? you never told us what happened to your phone breaking news I was standing on the corner Wait a minute. Meet and greet. What happened to your phone? You never told us what happened to your phone. News. Breaking news. I was standing on the corner. I almost feel like it should be its own thing. Should we do it during news?

I feel like it could be 20 minutes. It's not that long. All right. I mean, I was standing on the corner and holding my phone. It was at night. I had just gone for a run with my phone. I miss my Taylor Swift case so much for that phone. That's's what i really was like can you just give me back my case so anyway i'm standing on the corner and i have a bag of heavy groceries that i'm carrying with one hand and my

phone in the other and out of nowhere someone who was already in a huge sprint ran past me like a relay race and just grabbed my phone like a baton in a relay race and just ran. And people are like, did you give Chase? It's like you don't – there's nothing – yeah, I gave my Chase credit card over to him through my phone. But I did not give Chase because there's me amping up. He was already sprinting. That's why, you know, like getting a a running start, you can't break out. I was in full running gear.

I mean, I could have. But there's no chance. And he was a boy. He was a young boy. I would literally guess he was 11 or 12 years old based on who I saw sprinting away from me. I didn't see anything about him. I know everyone's like, was was he like people are dancing around it was he like because he was so fast was he kenyan uh that's a joke uh no he was um he was a young

kid and he was wearing a hoodie i couldn't see anything about him except that i just saw him and i honestly as soon as he grabbed the phone from my hand i just accepted it it like it was just like okay bye it was as if i dropped something when i'm riding my bike like a piece of paper and i go oh i guess i just littered i don't feel good about it but i'm not gonna go back and get it um yes i was in the middle of texting someone so it was like open yeah but they shut it off immediately they shut off my phone like someone tried to call it i didn't even try to call it i just didn't care people are like did you do find my phone why honestly why would i do that so i can just go see the house that it's at and just go wait outside the house and then what go up and bang on the door and be like give me my phone like i'm not

gonna do i don't want to get shot like i don't know who's taking my phone and also this kid is probably working for his parents who are probably like, or- Or a kingpin of some sort. Yeah, I just don't care. I know that I have the privilege of being able to afford a new phone and a cost like that could really hurt someone. There are millions of people

that are one $500 mistake mistake away from being having no money you know like every so i'm lucky enough to be like oh well should have held my phone more tightly so anyway he just went running and there was no part of me that even thought i literally just go come on man and i was just thinking about what could i tell him like i should have told him will you just like throw the case because i really liked that case and i got from i'm sure he didn't like that case maybe he And I was just thinking about what could I tell him? I should have told him, will you just throw the case? Because I really liked that case. And I got it from Etsy. I'm sure he didn't like that case.

Maybe he did. Maybe that's why he got it to him. Taylor Swift's dress from the Grammys in 2001. There is a robbing, too. It was so quick that he didn't stick you up. I didn't get hurt. It's nice. I could have gotten punched. It could have been wrestled from my hands in an aggressive way.

It's almost better to have your wallet and your phone. If you're going to rob me, just here. You could run past me and take it. It was the best because that can be very, I mean, being held up in any way or someone being like just even struggling while you try to hold it back. That could be traumatic. And this was not traumatic at all. And these two girls were

crossing the street as it happened and they were like are you okay my air buds are in and i hear them go i hear them disconnect from my phone as he sprints away he gets out of range and i suddenly they go into like you know i can hear them talk he puts his airpods on your phone like i wanted to finish that song yeah and these girls go are you okay and i was just like yeah that kid just stole my phone and they were like what the fuck and i was like yeah it sucks i shouldn't have been holding it i was literally like holding it out and they were like no it is not your fault i was like i mean i know but like and they go well what are you gonna do and i'm like i'll just get a new phone. And they were like, that's.

Did they want you to call the cops? They were just like mad for me. Were they like, do you want me to call the cops? No, they were just like, they were. It was funny because if I would have been alone, I would have never realized that my reaction was so funny. Because they were like almost laughing at my reaction. Because they were like, why aren't you mad?

It was as pedestrian to me as honestly dropping a gum wrapper and being like, because when I drop a gum wrapper, there is a part of me that's like, oh, shoot. And if it blows away in the wind, I'm like, oh, I just could. Like, I probably get more anxiety about that than I do. What do you think of the fight or flight situation where you're like, you were so cool with it, but maybe that was a way to deal with it. If it would have been my purse, I would have started crying because I have to go to the dmv i have to go get get new credit cards sent to me i have to there's a lot of things in there that are paper with a phone i can do everything on my laptop or my phone or your phone the next day but you know there's other ways but if it would have been a if it would have been my driver's license i would have been I would have cried because that means

but you know what it does mean I didn't spend hours at the DMV I spent hours at the fucking AT&T center did it take a long time? oh yeah because I remember you called ahead of time well updating your phone and downloading all your iCloud stuff

you have to sit there and wait at the AT&T center and I'm meditating in the AT&T center so I don't have to have the guys force conversation with me these two guys working that are trying to be nice and I'm meditating in the at&t center so i don't have to have the guys forced conversation with me these two guys working that are trying to be nice and i'm like i'm just gonna meditate and close my eyes is that weird and they were like that's fine now you have the biggest phone on earth you have a ipad phone they just go what do you want i go the one with the biggest everything just give me everything in the phone i want the biggest one and then i i forgot as he's

unwrapping it he goes now if you want to return it, there's a $55 restocking fee and I was like, oh shit, so now I have the iPad phone. It's gigantic, but I love it. Can you run with it though? Yes,

because here's the thing. I used to get the one that was the middle sized, Goldilocks, not too hot, not too cold and I could run with it in my hand. It wasn't too cumbersome,

although a little bit. It gives me an arm workout. I would switch arms to even it up but this time I am not running with my phone anymore because I am not having my phone out anymore after having it swiped from me in the like literally a twilight by a child I'm not carrying my phone anymore you shouldn't do that and it's gonna have me tuck it away and so I went running the other day in Pittsburgh, and I put it in my sports bra, which I can't normally do with a smaller phone because when you have something smaller that's very weighted,

it bounces up and down more. When it's like a big pad, it's almost like it's a part of – it's like a vest. Like a bulletproof vest, yeah. And so it just is more part of you. So actually, it's better, and I'm not going to be on my – I won't be holding my phone as I run, thus I won't be a victim. be a victim let's get to one story it would take two kids to carry that thing all right uh kim kardashian says she'd eat poop to look younger yeah in an interview she said i'll try anything

if you told me that i literally had to eat poop every single day and i would look younger i might i just might i love that she said this. The honesty of it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, because saying, that's a disgusting thing to say. And she is very much about like appearances.

And that is a very, that's a gross thing to say. And I love it. And I love that it's honest. That's meaning like she, it does not come naturally to her to look the way she does. She is trying. I just hate when celebrities lie and make it seem like it's effortless

and she is admitting it's not she was promoting because this is the same interview where she was promoting her new nine step skincare regimen nine steps that's like 600 and something dollars if you buy the whole thing and honestly she sold me on it i'm not i thing. And honestly, she sold me on it. I didn't buy it, but she sold me because this girl, you know, really cares about skincare. It's a passion of hers, which I buy. This whole, her PR team is genius. They had the New York Times do an article about her new skincare line. The New York Times.

And it really is just an ad for her skincare line. And it fucking works because she's talking about it. You go, wow. She's actually, and it's 600 just an ad for her skincare line and it fucking works because she's talking about it. You go, wow, she's actually, and it's 600 and something dollars and she's like, well, I didn't want to do cheap products and this is the cheapest I could get the products that I wanted to actually work. And I don't know, sold me.

I would actually, I would buy, I would probably buy it. Nine steps, that's a lot of steps. Yeah. I mean. I know. Even for like a recovery program. Yeah, it's almost too much 12 i know i do you think whatever we talk about her like putting out a certain would you eat poop if it meant to look younger yeah no but i would eat it just for regular but that was

one day and i looked old i've never looked I mean, who the hell eats their own shit? An old man with dementia. You know what I mean? Noah, would you eat, would you lick a little bit of your feces? Like a tiny bit every day. For how long? If it meant that you would never age. If I'm not going to get like hepatitis B or whatever you get from poop,

if it's guaranteed that I won't get it. Yeah, it would only be like you have to taste the poop. Yeah me too isn't that sad it is do something that well are you not aging like you're like you're a like you'll die you'll you're you're getting older but your face isn't getting is that what's happening here like you'll still die at the same age no but you'll just look young i don't want to live forever that kind of would be hard to see the downfall of humanity and live through that and then like after the world is burning who's still alive looking fantastic on like a smoldering rock in a sea of fire and no one else lives and you're just eating your own shoe and a bunch of cockroaches yeah they they that's how they stay young forever.

That's how they live is they eat shit. They're onto something. Fuck. They might be. They eat Kim Kardashian shit. Do you think, whatever. I mean, we talk about it all the time, though. It's a bad influence.

Let me just say this. Is it a bad influence? No, because she's being honest. I don't care what anyone says as long as they're being honest, even if it's a bad influence. Because I got a lot of shame of being like, nikki you saying that you want to be perceived as hot is like a bad influence for young girls i had a friend told me that like you're setting a bad example for your niece well you know what's a bad example is pretending i like my body when i don't you know

like i'm not gonna lie i i don't think it's good that i don't like can you get to that point without the other like can you get to the point of? Honesty is the only way to get to anything. Literally. You cannot get past the things that you want to let go of unless you get honest about them. I'd really believe that. I wonder whose poop she was thinking in mind.

Here's my thing, though. I would only eat poop every day if everyone else had the option to eat poop because I know that there would be other girls doing it and I can't forego something that other girls, if other girls are going to suddenly look so much younger, I'm going to have to do it. Now, if this was just offered to me and no one else had it, I would say no. I'll just age like everyone else if that makes sense. It's the competition factor.

If other girls had access to the poop trick and they did it and they were eating poop every day, I don't want – I wouldn't do it if it was just me, though. Also, it's interesting because I would inject. We've got to go to break. Would you inject poop tomorrow? Because of Botox. Like, poop talks. If I'm going to eat poop, I'll probably inject it. Poop talks.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You would definitely inject it. Yeah. Like, that would even be. Yeah, it's the. All right. Let's go to break and come back with Reddit Talk.

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and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Peel chatting up with hitmaker Sam Holland, Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else,

so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy model. Lingerie, topless. I said yes

please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, it's time for Reddit Dump. This is your karaoke mode.

This is your Reddit Dump. All right. This is from NoStupidQuestions on the subreddit no stupid questions it says if a woman astronaut got her period in space would the blood come out or just float around in her uterus what do you guys think i think the blood would come out i really didn't know around you think it would come out why if there's no gravity to send it out because i think something's pushing it yeah you can still- Even if you don't realize it. I think it would come out, but I don't-

Like, if she's not wearing a tampon and a pad, I think the gelatinous stuff would just kind of, like, slowly sneak out. Yes. But why would it come out if there's no gravity? Well, they can still pee and poop, right? Yeah, but you don't push out your period blood but your just uterine walls do they contract and stuff exactly that and that brings us full circle ham drip to cramps that's what cramps do cramps are pushing it out so yes it would come

out turns out someone answered and said loading the blood will come out in order to shed the uterine lining the uterus contracts equals cramps this is generally what period cramps are though there are other factors as well the contraction also helps push the material there is tissue as well as blood out of the uterus gravity isn't really a big factor um that is i did not plan that to be a full circle thing but yes that's why cramps are the reason that you would have blood coming out of your pussy in space uh we were talking about fucking in space too whoa remember that you'd have to be on the ceiling like if you want missionary you'd have to go on the ceiling and the guy will float into you i don't need a roof different podcast huh i don't remember talking

about this you didn't pay attention to it when i said it no i don't think it was no one listens to the podcast i swear to god i said you'd have to be on the roof and it got nothing oh so okay well you you made a lot of so okay so you saying fucking in space and you say you got to be on the roof that that that's too many steps for me to get around the ceiling ceiling or the ceiling you got to be on the ceiling that's too many steps you got to walk me there a little bit more with that joke you can't expect me to get that as a side because if we're talking about like expect more no is that too much no you can i'm comedically advanced my brain is already sometimes you're thinking about what you're gonna, and that's

why you don't hear it. But that joke, I agree with you. There are a lot of times I miss a lot of things you say. But that joke requires a lot more than just. But I think we were talking about space. You could have said because of gravity. Okay. Maybe.

We'll rewind the tape, and we'll. Okay, this next one is from Me IRL, which is just like memes that are very relatable. Have you guys seen this Obama meme? No. Where he's like in his chair and he just, he looks at, I'm going to do the example of it. He just goes, hold on. He's just like.

Yeah. He's looking like, it's kind of like he's looking like, what do you mean? What's the big deal? Like, what is he even talking about? He kind of throws up his hands next to his face. Like, you know, like the emoji with like the, I't know i kind of confused who cares yeah like look but he kind of looks like what's the big deal and it's it's going around and people use this for like just uh usually kids being confused about stuff so it says my mom no you can't go to disneyland

you don't have enough money and six-year-old it says, six-year-old me with $20. And the kid's like, what do you mean I don't have enough money? This kid's not understanding. There's also one that goes around that's like, you know, they slept. Did you hear that Brian slept with Amy? And then the kid just looks like, what's the big deal? They slept together? Because when you're a kid, you just think like, well, they slept next just think like well there's a great meme of ti leaning over if you just type that into google

you'll have a good time with that ti leaning over like he's just defying gravity um noah will you play one of the ones i sent you okay let's do uh hinge audio. You want to do that? Oh, yeah. So there's this new feature on Hinge where men and women can record voice memos in their profiles so that you can hear their voice and they can answer questions. So this was a girl that was sharing a lot of the Hinge audios she was coming across in men's profiles. Is that correct, Noah? Yeah. Hinge, but then they came out with the audio feature i feel like an old soul so dating me would be like dating your dad all i ask is that you join me

in celebrating short king spring i'm five eight let's go on a date i like that guy anything because i'm fucking annoying and i never know when to shut the fuck up because i usually speak before i think so yeah there's that hey bestie how you doing so when i was in second grade i somehow got the impression that drinking and driving meant any beverage so my dad would drink pepsi in the car for instance i would get very nervous i'd also learned that they asked you to say the abcs backwards if you get pulled over and i kind of assumed it was like a get agile free card so i learned how to do so solely for I would get very nervous. I'd also learned that they ask you to say the ABCs backwards if you get pulled over. And I kind of assumed it was like a get agile free card.

So I learned how to do so solely for the purpose of saving my dad when he would eventually be pulled over for drinking while driving. And still to this day, I can do it. ZYX, WVUT, SRQP, ONM, LKJ, IHG, FED. Dino Nuggets are like the best thing ever. I always have Dino Nuggets. I go crazy for Dino nuggets are like the best thing ever. I always have dino nuggets. I go crazy for dino nuggets. If you don't have dino nuggets, I'll probably still fuck with you. Dinosaur nuggets, like chicken nuggets that look like dinosaurs.

I like the guy, that one guy that told the story about his dad and his drinking, you can tell he was trying to sound like a podcast host. Yeah, it felt like serial or NPR. But he had a really good voice. I liked that guy. And I did like the guy that was like,

I'm 5'8", this is gonna be great. I'm a good date, short king summer. Like, short king spring. I like that one. The others were. I have a question, though. I would have liked doing that more than writing captions. I didn't like writing captions when I was young.

That was my question. In a dating app app though like if you were not just to get their messages would you be more inclined or less inclined to meet them if you heard their voice more because i feel like that is the thing that makes me feel like i know them is if i can combine their face with their voice because the voice is the thing that when you meet people after not knowing them and only communicating with them via text, you go, whoa, I thought they were going to sound different. It's like seeing someone's face after you've only known them wearing a mask

after a really long time and you get to know them. And you go, ooh. It's just like not what you wanted it to be just because it's different. So I think it's great. For me, I would be too scared. It would scare me. What do you mean to leave one

to leave one or hear one to hear one it would just give me it would scare me I don't know why I think for me it's better just not to know

and just to that's so funny go through the chat and just meet and then I decide from there if I like you or not it would just give me another excuse

not to meet them I want to know more and more oh yeah I can really I feel like I know a lot about a person by how they speak. Yeah, I do too. It's kind of like,

if you look at the... It'd be great if you could see almost a handwriting of someone on a date. Someone had the thing of like, a guy's hand looks like his penis, and it really does. Someone said that to me once,

and that is very true. There was a girl that was on my... She was a wardrobe assistant on my show, Nikki and Sarah remember I forgot her name but she told me she was like look at a guy's hands and their penis looks similar to their hand like the way their hand looks compared to other man's hands is the way their penis looks and I'm not talking about size I'm really not I'm talking about just like the look of it which is more important to me about a penis than the size is just the like the cleanliness of it the lack of discoloration and um the the uh just the uh what's the the texture of it is more structure yes yeah and just like the if it looks like it's stinky i don't want to

want it near me and that should be on on bumble yeah but size i don't want it near me. And that should be on Bumble. Yeah, but size I don't care about. But really, when I have dick anxiety, it's always about if it has a weird smell or funky. Have you gone down on a guy and it just stinks? No, never. Honestly, never. But that's just an irrational fear. Like my parents dying.

Oh, wait, that's rational because it's going to happen someday. Fuck. You'll make it a smelly dick. rational fear you know like my parents dying oh wait that's rational because it's gonna happen today fuck um let's do another reddit uh recording because i don't know i haven't been finding that many good subreddits recently uh okay you want to do you need a nap uh yes yes yes there's this like two kids that are brother and sister. And the little girl is crying and her brother is like clearly identifies the issue, which is like she's tired. It's just a cute. It's cute. It just reminds me of like I wish someone would say this to me sometimes when I'm being just insane. She looks like you.

It kind of looks like you as a baby. I did. But you need one.'s a very logical response such a cutie i love when kids are so helpful and literal i have been you know what i've been watching recently that is just i can't recommend enough for uplifting your mood and passing the time is going to the dodo and just watching all these like animal videos oh i'm so upset i know this is like a very normal thing that people do what's the dodo is an instagram account yeah it's an instagram account that makes like you know they they really a good job Of producing these videos and they take the Footage that the person who shot

The videos either rescuing an animal Or you know the ones I love And then they interview them and use the voice Over from the interview to really build a story It's a really well produced account And my favorite ones Are the bugs Final thought

There's this great one where this girl is it's a jumping spider and it's like the size of a half a dime it's the tiniest little spider weighs nothing you know and she was scared of spiders and for some reason i don't i wish they had more of a backstory of like how she even came across this jumping spider but it's all these people that one girl finds a moth and like you just find that a jumping spider this girl is like i've had cats and i've had dogs the spider has just as much personality and i love her just as much she's like i'm crying about a fucking spider she's like i love this thing so much and it only has been my life for a year because they only live a year and they start to age and she cuts cloth to give them like webbing

so that they can climb easier because they get slower and their pads don't work as well to climb and it's just i just cried a million times watching like a wombat that these people found and like gave a home and then had to release a dove that these kids found this bird that hit a window and the person found it and just like these wild animals and most the more it is less of a cuddly animal that people find a way to find compassion for it the more i love the video like the thing like a spider having and you really do see the personality come out and i've talked about the one that got me which was like a bumblebee the first one that i was just like how is a bumblebee yeah gonna be it's like the octopus story but yes even smaller and you just it just helps you see that every animal has a personality like your dog is different from every other dog like we sometimes think that all

chickens are just like they're just fucking chickens or like all ants or all bees or spiders now i don't know about ants maybe all ants don't really have that many individual personalities, but based on this spider videos, these spiders have very, they know, like sometimes her boyfriend will be holding it and then it sees her and it will crawl over.

It's this minuscule spider that has eight eyes. It's all a little, it's like fuzzy and it will just like crawl over to her and just want to be on her hand. Well, think about ants.

They each have their own job. I mean, they obviously have some kind of thought process. There's a queen ant. There's working ants. They make these houses. Sometimes to get across something, they'll all combine together and build a bridge, and then they will walk across each other.

What's the ant, the bug's life, right? Or what is that, ant life? What was that cartoon back in the day? The other day, Chris, A Bug's Life. What's that? And then The Ants was also another. Yeah, yeah. But A Bug's Life was awesome.

I saw it in the front row. I remember I was like, look at these bugs. Oh, my God. That's how crowded the theater was. We got front row for the big bugs. Yeah, that was a big deal. Yeah. When Pixar came out with A Bug's Life, I life i remember if you remember the bugs had to eat

water like they would drink they would just like munch on a droplet yeah and i realized and i found i think an interesting fact about that kind of animation at least at the time that bugs i came out they couldn't make water animated in the way that water looks they can only make it in droplet form for some reason they couldn't animate actual water the way that we see water with that kind of animation and so it fit that they could only do droplets and so that's what made them lead to them eating these droplets like hamburgers almost which was such a cute thing to see a bug like just like take these beads of water and bite into them but it was based on the fact that the animation couldn't support another way to do it which i

thought was kind of cool it Well, it's interesting. We personify these things through cartoons, and then we see, oh, they are like us. But if you see that little spider in a magnifying glass, and they're running, like, they are. It is actually like us. It's not just a cartoon, but anyhow. But yeah, what were you? The other day, well, Chris gave me a birthday present.

One of the birthday presents was going to this bird place and playing with all these birds. Did I talk about this already? No. I got bit by a bird. So I went to this bird rescue that this woman has out of her house and this other woman came over that runs the bird rescue and they just kept bringing birds down to the living room for me to play with.

And it's the St. Louis Avian Rescue. It's called STAR, St. Louis Avian Rescue. And, you know, like, it was just so freaking fun. And I went over there and I was playing with all these birds and one of the birds, Louie, bit me twice, drew blood and I loved it. Oh, it's right there.

I loved it. I was so excited. And the woman that was like horrified, she was probably scared I was going to sue or something. She was like, he drew blood. And I'm like, I love it. Like I have a bird wound and it's not even bad. It's like, I hope it scars.

I would be the coolest thing ever. But, um, I was playing with these birds and man, do parrots have their own fucking individual personality? It's insane. Like these birds, each like different things,

have different curiosities, are very gentle and like, and as soon as you are able to make the leap that chickens are the same you got to start looking at the things on your salad that you just throw on for three dollars extra or the sandwich you get like that was a bird that had just as much personality as your dog i'm honestly more personality than your dog birds are so smart and it just you just need to open your eyes it's okay if you keep eating chicken but you just need to at least honor that thing that had a personality had feelings

wanted to live would have been like a sweet thing that you could have cuddled and it would have like cooed in your arm like you have to realize that's what you're eating it's not i'm not trying to shame you but you you can't look you cannot look at chickens like you do ants. You just can't. It's so not what they are. They are so individual. They have so much personality. They are desperate for love and tenderness and pets.

And they get scared. And you just need, I'm not asking you to become vegan. I'm just wanting you to not eat chicken like it's nothing and really just thank that bird for giving you sustenance and forgiving its life unwillingly for you to eat it and to not just go i don't really like this chicken and like throwing it aside if you get chicken on your fucking salad you fucking eat that chicken bitch i don't care if it doesn't oh the seasoning is right you eat that chicken that's a life of an animal that has a better personality than your dumb dog and i have dumb dogs too and chickens are smarter than them so i'm sorry to get mad

at you but seriously um just think about it next time just that's all i'm asking you to do poop instead does that get through to you does that do anything for you to think about chickens does it having personalities yeah like yeah of course like a your cat, Mango? I get that. I get that. I think making the comparison to the dog, I wouldn't make that leap of like, because then I think people just get angry and they go, well, it's not like my dog.

It is, though. There's no debate. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying how people will, their palate for that. If you're coming after their animal saying this thing's better they're going to get defensive. It's not better, it's more

intelligent. I'm just saying they're going to get defensive. You asked me what I thought. You asked me what I thought. I'm telling you. You're a stupid person. You're less intelligent than your dog. If you get insulted by me saying your dog is stupid. Your dog is stupid. It doesn't mean your dog's a bad thing. People, things aren't more

precious because they're smarter. I'm just saying these things have feelings. Yes. And you can't treat them like they're cockroaches. And it does. You asked me what it does for me. I'm telling you. When you say, when you see a toucan, when you see a bird, if there was like a dog, right,

like a pretty dog, like a Maltese or whatever, and we're like, holy shit, I love this little Maltese. And then you have a fucking pitbull with big nipples and we're all eating these pitbulls with big nipples because they're ugly yeah that's essentially what a chicken is in in people's mind because it's just this ugly thing i don't understand that that's what i'm saying no i know you asked me how i'm perceiving it and i'm telling you this is how i'm perceiving it okay but i'm just asking you will it affect you eating chicken at all in what I'm saying? I don't know.

Good answer. Well, I mean, that's an honest answer. Just wondering. I'm just trying to figure out ways to get people to see because I didn't used to think about chickens that way or eggs. I just didn't

because I didn't want to. But as soon as you start to, I think people need to play with chickens more and just have the realization that this is the thing you're eating. Yeah. And then I think we could bridge that gap because it's just cognitive dissonance. It's just not.

It's just thinking of them like insects because insects. We really don't care if you step on a fucking ant. You don't cry. If you step on a chicken, you would you would be very sad. We should paint chickens like cool colors. Maybe people won't eat them. What does that mean? No, because they

gotta be prettier it's not about being pretty i'm telling you that's why people eat certain animals they don't think chickens are gorgeous i guess i don't know people don't eat pit bulls by the way no i know that i'm saying that that's the that's the different kind of bird. I agree. That is. All right. We got to go. What? They do. What? In China, they eat fucking dogs.

Yeah, I know. And you know what? Good for them because they're doing the same thing we're doing to chickens. Good for them. I support it. When people get mad about the eating dogs over there, I'm just like, how can you get mad at that? We eat cows. Just like, I don't, I just don't give a shit until we, until you make it all even. Yulin Meat Dog Festival, I support it because it's hypocrisy if you only don't support,

if you are like against that and you're still eating cows. Sorry, I don't hate you, but you're a hypocrite as I am in many ways in my life Alright, we gotta go That's a wrap, this is also a wrap And that is that And that's that, and get hit with a bat And then eat it Don't eat the bat, that's how we got COVID Alright, I'll go eat poop

I know it's made in a lab A chocolate lab Alright guys, thank you so much for listening to the show. Sorry for my vegan rant. You know I got to let it out sometimes. And you can always fast forward or stop listening. It's really up to you. Just like veganism is.

It's up to you. All right. Good night. And thank you for listening. Don't be cuh. And Jack Russell Terrier. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help.

That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general.

You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners,

like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to My Legacy. I'm Martin Luther King III, and together with my wife, Andrea Waters King, and our dear friends, Mark and Craig Kilberger, we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives. Join us for heartfelt conversations with remarkable guests like David Oyelowo, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and Billy Porter. Listen to My Legacy starting January 20th on MLK Day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove.

Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Eve, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You gotta check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions?

Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Seven questions, limitless answers.