The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #231 Meet At The Palm Tree w/ Bestie Daniel

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

Nikki and Andrew try talking slower for a change and reveal why they talk fast. Nikki does not want any sort of editing done on her photos and she likes a forced excuse. In the Besties Being Guesties Nikki reconnects with a long lost Spring Break buddy from the "Alabama Boys" Daniel Burson. They help each other fill in the gaps about meeting for the first time about 20 years ago. In the Final Thought, Nikki and Andrew discuss long term relationships, commitments and not wanting the party to end. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF. And me, Mandy B. As we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love.

Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You don't need another podcast.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast Here's Nikki Hello, here I am, it's the Nikki Glaser Podcast Welcome to the show, it is Wednesday Wednesday I'm in St. Louis, Missouri with Andrew Collin What's going on? Is there a different look going on here today? Did you get a haircut?

Mustache But there's something else too I thought I got used to the mustache but something looks different Really? No boots. Shoeless. Shoeless Andrew Jackson. Sandals.

You got some flippies? Some flippy floppy, some reefs. You know, it's getting 90 degrees out. I know, it's so hot. Time to let the toes hang. I forget how hot it is outside because it's so cold up in this bitch. I walk out there, I'm like, Jesus Christ. It's too hot.

It is getting really hot. I mean, it's scary. Things aren't looking good. Look, you get to boil an egg out there or whatever. What did you do yesterday? After the pod? No, before the pod. I don't know. Are you stalling to think by saying after the pod?

That's like when people go, that's a really good question. Can I have a minute? Can I have a minute? No, can I have a minute is actually being honest. Can I have 30 seconds? Can I have seven seconds? That's being honest. Saying, that's a good question when you're waiting,

when you're trying to figure out what to say. That's someone stalling and trying to. Yeah, you know. That is a really good question why I was texting that other girl. I'm really glad you asked that. It's interesting say that yeah before the pod because i was thinking about that yeah myself after the pod um golf it is interesting though when you do listen to some of these podcasts and they speak so slow i don't know how people do it let's try to speak slow what do you think would happen like like let's try so ask me that question andrew what'd you do yesterday yeah it's interesting you asked that um you know the

times you know we're in now it's tough to really do anything with gas prices going through the roofs. Here's the problem. Why we talk fast is because we're not smart. We're not smart? Yeah. Or because we are smart. We're not smart. So we talk fast because the information we're giving is not that dense

and it doesn't have a lot in it. So it's the same reason I do four podcasts a week. Then no one can go, your podcast sucks. And I go, go well i give it to you four times a week motherfucker whereas if someone was like no one can tell but don't you think some of your points that are actually dense and are smart because i think yeah and i slow those down i do i slow them down no i slow it down in post no i just slow down my talking and i go listen i think that this like i have a more deliberate tone yeah but when we're just saying stupid shit it's just like i know it's hard because i listen to sam harris on one speed i don't speed him up i listen to conan 1.25 sometimes i gotta slow it down because he's just so fast but like the more comedy and comedic

and easy going it is the faster I want it to be I think people who talk slow either do it so that they can be understood and they're trying to make a good point or they are

narcissists oh and they're just their time is not your time I'm definitely have narcissistic tendencies there's no fucking question about it I really do constantly consider how I don't think people,

I'm always considering how other people probably don't want to be listening to me. As much as I do put out stuff to be listened to, I'm chronically doing things to avoid someone going you suck and then saying well that's why i do that's why it works so much i realize is because when i put out one thing everything is on that one thing but if i do a ton of stuff i can go i'm so busy that's why it's bad i always have an out or if you know my my stand-up show that's why I do a meet and greet afterwards because I want people to get something out of it that literally they couldn't get anywhere else which

is I know what I'm I'm I know I'm good at stand-up but what I'm best at is being personable with people and making them feel seen in a way that I if I was meeting the Dixie Chicks like I did in 1998 would have liked them to have met me when I met the Dixie Chicks like I did in 1998 would have liked them to have met me when I met the Dixie Chicks you just walked in and stood behind their chairs and didn't say anything to them and just snapped a picture and then moved on wow and so I just am like okay I'm constantly aware that um I'm probably not enough it's low self-esteem I realize that I obviously do sometimes have high self-esteem but and then sometimes you self-destruct i do it too well yeah but but then why if you're so worried about that but then you also then will lean into things

where you're like it comes across like you're like fuck it i'll say whatever the hell i want um because then also i because i know i'm right in those times if i'm on my vegan you know soapbox you were talking fast. Well, that was out of courtesy for people being like, shut up, bitch. But I'm still going to say it because I know that it's a difference between

knowing I'm right and knowing I'm talented. Like I questioned my talent all the time. I always feel like an imposter. And I know this is like hard to hear for people who are like, but I'm a huge fan of yours. If Taylor Swift said she wasn't talented, I might be like a little bit hurt. You think you're shit, but I think you're a god.

Every single talented person thinks they're not talented secretly. Everyone who's listening to this has imposter syndrome. I have it too. I think that when it comes to veganism, that's what I always say. And I'm not going to get this. I'm talking about veganism, not about it.

I'm not going to go on a rant. I'm just touching on it. I just know I'm right. So there's no, I have no, uh, imposter syndrome of like, that is as right as,

you know, should I kick my dog or not kick my dog? That to me is like, there's just no there's no moral uh argument to be had like it's done like the argument's done and so and there's so few things in life that i'm so sure of that and that's probably one of the only things i'm sure of that and i'm sure that i'm not as talented as people think i am but then sometimes i do think I'm really talented.

Do you ever get like really caught? Like sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like, you're the hot, like Amy used to have a joke about this where she's like, do you ever like look in the mirror and you're like, I'm a fucking model.

Like she used to have a joke and so I don't want to even say anything that sounds like I'm ripping that off. But I really do relate to that. Like sometimes I definitely am like, I'm one of the most talented people ever. I'm one of the hottest people ever. Like I feel so good.

And I can feel the opposite of that within minutes. I think our brains are similar in regards to, one, how we feel about ourselves depending on how we're actually feeling like internally. You know what I mean? Like I think depending on our mood, even before we start to think about how talented we are, am I sad that day?

Am I depressed that day? It's really- Everything is depending on your emotional state, for sure. But at least me, too. One morning I could wake up thinking I'm a brilliant comedian. The next day I can't even think because I'm- And then in regards to looks. It's all emotional.

I literally, like I have dysmorphia, a little bit of the face, where I'll look at the mirror and I'll go, you're a handsome man. And then literally the next morning, when I had a little bit of soy the night before, my face starts going, I look puffier. So it's not dysmorphic.

Maybe I am. i don't know but do i no no but that is the thing do i know we all have body dysmorphia because we're all seeing pictures of ourselves that are not what we see in the mirror when you look in the mirror you're seeing a the image that you're looking at your eyes are on the different side than when in a picture so you're it's a flip it's if we flipped every photograph yeah it would match more accurately what you see in the mirror but we aren't you know we're not symmetrical so we're all seeing this image in the mirror and we're used to it and then we look at a picture and we're like what the hell is that and it's because it's at a different angle that we're not used to even if it's straight on

it is not oriented to what our face looks like. The other day I was on Instagram Live and just doing wacky filters that they have on there. And I did the one that's like a bunny nose and then the rest of your face gets sucked in, bigger eyes, smooth skin, small nose. Well, no, no, no, the nose is a rabbit nose, but still smaller than mine. Like pink cheeks, it just becomes,

and then you get used to that and you're like i'm fucking stuck the smallest little things you can't even they're imperceptible that it's people were logging on not having known that i was doing this other filter and they're like you look so pretty and i'm like it changed my face shape you guys like yeah we're being lied to constantly about what we look like. And even with our own eyes, there's this crazy thing, crazy, crazy thing that I came across on Reddit that is not able to, I cannot do it on the podcast. It would be like not interesting radio at all,

or even for the video podcast, but they have, it's this weird phenomenon that is almost related to what we're talking about where they have that you look at a a cross hatch like a square you know like a um you know a cross in the middle of this uh screen it's like two lines you know an axis and then on both sides there are faces normal looking faces that just like flip and switch to different faces just all different faces and they're normal looking and you just stare at the center and like on the right and left are the faces but they're in your periphery and you just stare and then they keep changing

and within four seconds they start looking like aliens they start looking like monsters with big teeth and big googly eyes and crazy, like weird eyebrows. Like it looks like there are monsters all of a sudden. And then you go, no way are these, the faces are definitely changing to monsters. They're normal people. And it is so. Why? Well, some people in the comments said that perhaps it's because when we cannot see what is next when we are in a position where we cannot

tell what is coming at us or what kind of threats there are where we can't get a good look at it we see the worst just in order to alarm us enough to you know err on the side of that thing is gonna come get us i'm i said it's so many people yesterday because you would think they're changing it huh it you would think it is so insane how these faces look they look like picasso what kind of motherfucker thinks of something like this i mean it's called some kind of effect you know it's a scientific effect but i mean do you think kids nowadays because of filters like their reality ever since they're five years old is filled like is fucking with like changing your face whatever and it's just nor it's just normal it's not like when i see a filter i still think that's not me that's not me at all like i have this idea of what i look like and if i

fuck with it at all but do you think kids we still have mirrors and so that is helpful but sometimes you get a skinny mirror and you go, oh, my, my, my. And with good lighting. You know, like, did I tell you about the, like, I, so this weekend, Matt was taking pictures, as he always does, of us on tour. And he's actually just gotten so good at it that sometimes we'll hire a photographer and his photos are better than the person that brings the equipment. And he took this picture of me this weekend and i've definitely gained weight recently and he cropped it in a way like so after the show him and anya go back to their hotel room and then

we'll get like eight pictures sent to us that they edit like but at like 1 a.m so like they'll be up on their laptops just hanging out decompressing in the weekend and i just picture them in there and anya seeing a picture of me and going you should crop out like i just know she won't post that because her fat is kind of coming out of the top like i just feel my friends editing for me and i hate it there's something so funny about people putting glasses on to go i know it too fat like no i've done it to friends before where i go don't show her that picture she'll fucking kill herself because i know my friend's sensitivity but matt sent this precariously cropped photo of where it just cropped right under my boobs like where you know there might be a roll of fat because i was bent over kind of doing this praying hands and it was cropped in

this way that i was just like the next day i hey, can you send me the full image of that? Like, I want to know the truth. And he's like, I don't even know where it is. I don't know. I think that's the way I shot it. And I go, no, no, no. This is cropped. Please send it to me.

So then he sends me another one, and it's not the same picture. Oh. And I was like, these pictures are different, and I toggled between them and screen recorded. Did you put a cross in between them? Yeah, I mean, that's honestly, I looked like a monster. No, I just don't like people editing photos of me.

I don't like, you know, yes, I sometimes will toy with lighting to make me look better. Or I will do, you know, a different angle. I will never, ever edit my face. I will never do a tint on something to, like, I don't, because i just want to know the truth it's the same way i feel about tinder photos like why would you ever put like better looking

photos than you can be i want to be but that's almost a problem for me because people look so good in photos and i'm always taking you know the best of a batch but i won't edit them and so i'm on this f boy island poster that's coming out that my publicist sent me. Yeah. And it's me and the three girls who are a decade and a half younger than me. And we're all like on these rocks looking seductive. And the publicist sent me and was like, hey, this is the key art for FBoy. Your arm does not look as skinny as it is. Do you want us to do something about it?

And I was like no no what and and then I look at the photo because I'm like oh what's this gonna be it looks definitely like you know an arm that is like not it's being pushed against my side you know like how it like you know your thighs like fan out when you sit down it looks like that for an arm so like it doesn't look as thin as my arm is but I was just like no because it and I'm not doing it for the the children of the world to be a good example and to show a real woman's body i i'm a skinny woman so it's not like i'm like representing anything that you know whatever i'm just saying i didn't do it because i don't want to lie to myself because then i have to i i hate that nikki welcome home nikki glazer is on and i have to I I hate that Nikki welcome home Nikki Glaser is on and I have

to post clips from it because I do not look like I gained 20 pounds since that show shot so every time I post a clip from it I look like this little twig and then the next picture is like come see me in Boise and I'm like eating a potato on stage and I've got I look like a potato and it's like I I struggle with editing photos because I want to look like what I look like but potato. And it's like, I struggle with editing photos because I want to look like what I look like, but I can't help it when it's something from the past. Like that, and I'm not trying to be like, this is me now.

I literally won't even post. I paid thousands of dollars for this photo shoot years ago and the photos are still usable and my publicists want to use them, but I won't let them because it doesn't look like me anymore to me? And I think people will think, this is what I think.

People will think I'm trying to look younger and I don't want anyone to ever think that I'm trying to look to, to lie. Okay. Well, let's break this down when we get back. Yeah. Andrew.

Do you look younger? Do you look bigger? Who really cares? Because we're all going to pass away in a flood. I'm glad you didn't keep rhyming that. Jesus Christ. Oh. That's scary.

Yeah, I would never. I know better to make a song too good. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year,

offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early. Well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio appays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the

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Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. What do you make of all that? I mean... Because you like taking pictures where you look really good. Like, you'll pick the lighting where you look really, really debonair. And I think that you don't mind a filter, right?

You could literally go through my... I don't agree with that. I literally posted... If you look at my photos i don't like look sexy anymore like i i think i've done that before but like okay i mean this is literally my last photo well yeah but that's but then you're leaning into funny this one's a good photo yes um no i mean i put up good photos but i'm just saying um what do you make of, or no, I guess, what do you make of it? Well, what do I make of it?

I make that, I think- How do girls, how do they do this? How do they crop themselves? Like, we have a friend, we have a mutual friend who always looks so filtered that I go, I don't recognize this person. How does she think that this is what she looks like in real life? Like, that's what I don't understand with people when they do this stuff. I think that...

How do you keep it up? There could be a... What is the line? Because, okay, let's say you get Botox. There's a line. You gotta cut it out of your face. But if you get Botox and you get, like, different things done to your face

before the photo... Well, that's not a lie because that is my face. That is not... That's the face I'm gonna walk around with. That's not a face that I'm editing in a software. That makes sense. So it's still me. Yeah.

Even body shapewear. I don't even like Spanx. I think it's a lie. And I'm not doing it. But if you got the surgery, it'd be Deionis. Yeah, because that's actually changed my body. I went through a bloody procedure. I didn't just.

No, it's interesting to hear that. And shapewear is really exhausting to wear and painful. And whenever I wear it, i can't stop talking about the fact that i'm wearing it because i don't want anyone to think that it's my natural state if someone ever goes you're hot on stage what do i say i have on fake eyelashes i have on fake tan i this i have a cinched belt on like i need to for some reason I need people to know that I'm trash because I don't like because I feel like I've been misled by all these lies

because I look at girls all the and I'm not and I really am not doing it for the children I promise you that but I think you do post photos where you do look fantastic but nothing about that is I'm not saying it's fake I'm just saying that

it can come off as like yes I want to be completely honest but also I want attention and likes from looking great but only when I actually look great on my own DNA merit and like because it's the way God made me and the way God

made that lens and those lights but then you could argue then you keep going go well the makeup and then me and the way God made that lens and those lights. But then you could argue, then you keep going, go, well, the makeup and then this. Well, I've written that in captions. I've gone, the lighting was amazing. I'm sucking in so hard that my stomach hurts. I always say that stuff. I'm just trying to think of the filter because, like, let's say your arm in the photo before that looked actually like your arm, right? Like maybe that photo with the angle, with the lighting,

made your arm look bigger than it is. If they could take my arm from the other photo and put it in, that's fine. Yeah, yeah. But that's – I will not have them take an inch off my arm and then change the way the rock formation is like, you know. But I guess that's where – I mean you could look at it that way where like everything else is proportional in what you actually do look like. And then because of this angle, it looks shitty.

So maybe take your arm from the other arm. Like, so I don't know. I think it is. But why do girls feel better when they lie in photos and post a photo and get likes from that? I feel if I like even like when people are like, I like this special you did and I know that it was bad. I just I can't take that in. I can't take any of those compliments in because to me, I'm i'm like oh they they are liking something that i know isn't good or is a lie i would think their argument would be one you're an attractive woman and they're not as attractive

and being attractive like you said gets rewarded and they want to get rewarded and make a career or maybe to them they just like to them what you feel is like subpar work they think is really exceptional it's it's perception i can understand it for work but i'm wondering why how women can accept compliments when they've edited photos of themselves that doesn't look like them how do they get and are they getting self-esteem from it? They wouldn't keep doing it if they didn't. I'm just wondering how. I just think it's an elevated culture

from heels and makeup and bras and spanks. Oh, it's just like an extension of the lies. It's just an extension of the lies. Yeah, that makes sense. With extensions in there. I think it's a dopamine craving. I know, but don't you feel weird if you get a like when someone's like,

you look, when people think I look beautiful when I have makeup on, it actually hurts my, it makes me feel sad. Yeah. And even when, and I, and I'll tell you, I don't like likes on photos where I look super hot. I don't get off from that because it actually depresses me because I go, look how people like me so much when I'm the prettiest version of myself as opposed to just my normal self.

Like being liked is really about the most shallow shit and it it it sends me into a depression and okay you're probably not going to accept this when i say it but when i see photos of female comics um like on stage and it's a professional photo and they have makeup on and especially like your tour posts and stuff i don't just like it because i think you look beautiful i like it for the statement that it makes which is yes all right we have a woman out there she's getting like agree like the same type of um uh production that a man would get she She looks really good. I like her top. I like the way her hair looks. I don't think it's that

vain, to be honest. But I do know that when I do post a picture that's not me on a stage, it's me on a beach just looking hot in the golden hour lighting. That gets more likes than me helping out in an animal shelter. Do you know what I mean? Or like

holding my niece and having a tender moment. Like that's where I go. I mean, we know our society's shallow. It just like confirms it to me that I just, I guess it just stems from my thought that I'm unlovable unless I'm giving people what they want. And that depresses me because I just want to be lovable the way I am

even if I was like a burn victim. And that's why my favorite videos are the beauty queen fell on a fire and had to find a personality because do you think you'd feel better let's say you go up on stage you're wearing jeans an old t-shirt no makeup i would never do that ever because i don't want to disrespect my audience i want to put in effort but isn't the effort of being 100 off no that's another thing my act isn't enough i think that i'm not talented so at least i'm not saying you should yeah i'm not saying you should do that i'm just saying like that's the other option is to go and then a lot of you know we'll go the other way but i can't do that because for me i think i'm not talented enough and i think people go her act sucked and

she was not even good to look at because at least the girls that bring their husbands along that don't want to be there and are like i hate female comics i'm literally dressing hot so that they are like well at least she was hot and i could just fucking stare at her like i i know that's sad to admit but i do and i dress up because girls dress up for my show and i want to like matt it feels like showing up to a party where you're underdressed I would never dress like Adam Sandler

with my stand up I would never do that even if it was like I feel ridiculous I want to you know but you did it the one time in Canada

because you had to because I lost my luggage no no no I know but there's something but there's an excuse there's an excuse if there's an excuse I'll do it

that's why I like bondage so I don't have to fucking move because there's an excuse if I'm tied up. That's why I like bondage so I don't have to fucking move because there's an excuse if I'm tied up. I can't do anything. I love a forced excuse or a forced reason for why you can't do anything. You should go half and half. That's why there's parts of me that sometimes go, it would be nice to be a burn – I'm not saying nice to be a burn victim. There would be something freeing about not ever having the ability to ever be hot again.

Yes. That, that, that is taken from me because if it's, if it's on the table, I always feel like a failure that I'm not wearing. I'm not trying enough. Like I have to go do a podcast today.

Jason Nash's podcast. I think it has a huge following. There's going to be video of it. He, he's always hanging out with these young YouTubers. There's going to be young people watching it. No, he's flying here to film me for it.

And I just feel like because it's video, I have to curl my hair. I have to dress up. I have to look presentable. Again, because it's on video, things that look visually pleasing are more fun to watch. And that's why I always tell you, fix your lighting. It's not because

things that look good are going to get eyes on them because you want to look at – that's why when you make your phone in grayscale, you don't want to be on it as much. It's not as pretty. It's not as satisfying. It's not because you're – you don't want to fuck your phone. I had the – that green room we were in the second trip or second – Pittsburgh had, like, 19 mirrors in it.

And so I could see my i was standing in the center room i'm like god i look handsome and then i caught like a side probe and i think my side and whatever you want but i feel like it's dog shit like from the side my neck i have this fat now that has gotten here like i'm getting older like my neck looks fatter my eyes look like i don't know indented a little i just look i feel like my back of my head yes it's cut off i feel like the back of my head got cut off by a tomahawk that someone's got me yeah yeah and then my neck this thing i'm sucking my own dick all the time oh tech neck yeah which is cool but it fucks my up my standing so i see all this it's cool and it fucking drives me nuts it really does and then i go i don't know i maybe as a guy there's less like there's less pressure i don't freak out when i see a bit i and people are probably

gonna write to me and say nick you sound really sick and you should go back to get in some sort of recovery program you should read this book about well you're not on camera constantly unless you are unless you're a newscaster that is to see your face every day and you sit in hair and makeup every day and you have to post photos of yourself every day and you have to go on a video podcast every day and the second you wake up you have to walk in your room and look at your fucking you know puffy face from not getting sleep last night and put some makeup on it and make yourself look good and then go to this video podcast and then go on Zoom and try to pitch a show on this. Unless you're looking at your face all day, every day, and part of your career is based on how you look, do not write me because you don't know what it's like. And this is why I talk this way. And I'm not crazy.

I'm a little crazy. But the reason I'm so focused on my looks is because it's part of my job. And I wish I could be blind and not see it and deal with it. But people write me all the time and go, you sound so sick, girl, this isn't good for you. And it's just like,

well, what do you do for a living? You have one school picture. You take a year teacher, or maybe you're on zoom and save to look at yourself. But like, you shouldn't be, you should be teaching and maybe turn off your camera like there's solutions for you for me i have to

fucking look at these photos and post them and if i don't then i just paid matt money that is worthless because yeah i can't have someone else go through the photos and post them because when i do that people don't have the same taste as me and they'll post a photo where i'm like oh my god why would you i have to look at this stuff i got a sense this is why yesterday what i didn't want to look at because i looked fat in it i didn't want to look at it i didn't want to feel bad about myself but i had to because there's content within the clip and if it's not funny i don't want to post it my career is in that clip and so i have to watch it and then so the i used to never look in the mirror before i was a stand-up i didn't look at photos of myself i didn't analyze things i I wouldn't be on Instagram if I weren't a comedian.

I wouldn't because it's not good for my mental health. So I am just making do the best I can. I'm working in a bar, and I'm an alcoholic. And I have to deal with drinks and smell them and taste them all the time, and I'm an alcoholic. So why not do this? Why not? We've talked about this before.

You have a manager, manage whatever you have a team that could do your instagram you would never even have to look i just said because when they look at it i don't i don't like the pictures they chose i've tried to outsource it before and because when i finally say and i go but what if they just worst one because sometimes your friends they'll go you look beautiful in this you go what the fuck i yeah you think i look like that like there's no one you can really trust except yourself unless it's your old comedy and you just post usually how i feel i'm just saying this today like no i guess sometimes how i feel when did you get that f boy poster that email oh i got that months ago and i and my publicist felt so bad because i wrote

back and i go i don't phot Photoshop my body and I'll never will. And I do not change my size. You know, I understand taking out imperfections because they do like retouch your face and things. But I will never change my size ever, ever, ever, ever on anything I do. I'm as you know, unless it's against my will and someone did it. And posting your stand up. I could tell she was like freaked out like i she was like made a grave because she pretty much said your arm looks fat and then i

go no i like it i i don't think it looks fat and i'm like so i wrote her you know separately being like don't worry i'm not mad at you it's totally fine you were looking out for me you're right it does look a little meaty um yeah what if because we tried that before we talked about that before if you know like someone like nate bargathy right he just puts up his stand-up just his stand-up and then a picture maybe one every 20 yeah would that thing do you think that would help you in your brain like but then people don't pick the right stand-up clips oh no you have more i have you have so much material i i would be doing stand-up clips if they were easy for me they are the most hard for me because they are a moving picture of me which i actually love myself on video i really i have yeah you look great on video

i can watch my i can watch anything i do on mute i love it it's my voice okay plus my jokes and content that make me go, oh God, you're so untalented. And then I can't post it. I literally can't post any clips. And I have shot five special, wait, one, two, three, four, five, six specials I have.

Seven, six or seven specials. Not late night? A half hour to an hour long. And then I have 11 late night appearances. I have more content than fucking anyone. You just write that every single day. Just post that on Instagram. I can't post it.

No, no. Not the video. I know. Yeah. Write my tally. I would. I would like to remind people. I forget sometimes.

Don't look at my IMDB and you you tell me like that i'm not 73 years old and haven't been working in this business since 1961 because it looks like i have been it is i don't even know how many things i've done but it is insane and i just i i would be more successful if i had a easier time looking at myself and i was a little bit more bragging about yourself yeah i mean i can i can brag about my achievements but i tricked everyone to get them well i did it i did only like 12 at a time i didn't trick besties because this show there's nothing i'm doing that's like slight of hand or i feel like it's sneaky people that listen to the show and like me from the show just like me for me and don't start i don't need to start singing that song but you know the song i want

to sing i can feel it in my teeth. But I really do. That's why I love this podcast. I feel like it's the first time where I go, I could look like anything and people would still listen. So thank you for that. When we get back,

we are coming back with our Wednesday segment that we do once in a while called Besties Being Guesties. And it is a very special bestie guest that I can't wait to introduce you to. This guy knew you before Instagram. Before Instagram. Before the internet.

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or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements,

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It's time for Besties Bein' Guesties. Besties bein' guesties. Yeah. Besties being guesties. Besties being guesties. Yeah. Yeah. Today's bestie who is our guestie. Yeah, I wrote that and I produced.

No, I produced. I wrote it. And Britney Spears inspired it. Today's guest is a bestie that uh got into the show i don't know how he got into the show but we'll get into that in a second we'll probably get into that yeah yes you know what you haven't been introduced yet so you shut your trap over there yeah and also make your bed it's your bed first of all second of all i did put a comforter on there just yeah it seems it seems made i made it it was a little messy and i was like oh i should put this you had to toss it

up just to make it look like you didn't try to all right all right so our bestie uh who is a guestie today is an old friend of mine who i we got reconnected recently through social media found each other i met daniel is uh here today daniel is someone i met in on spring break in 2002 is it two yes i believe it was two okay um and i was a senior in high school we were down in destin florida i was there with my sister lauren and my other best friend lauren who goes by huffy and we were down in Destin Florida I was there with my sister Lauren and my other best friend Lauren who goes by Huffy and we were down there with my family and we met these boys all stay in the same hotel no I know we were staying somewhere else but we met them I don't here's the thing I don't remember exactly how we met and Daniel is going to share that because he almost told me the

other night in Baltimore when I first met I sawiel for the first time in 20 years i mean this is 20 years ago and can i preface this with spring break you never run into your hookup or the person you meet on spring break 20 years later like this never happens well we didn't run into each other it happened because he found we found each other i know that i'm saying it just doesn't but i did always wonder about these boys from alabama that we called the alabama boys we became really good friends there was no hooking up by the way there we were just friends we we loved them so much we probably all we we kind of like had crushes on you but we didn't even know how to like fucking we'd think about that but we were just friends and got along so well we went back back to St. Louis and told all our friends about the Alabama boys. I think they came

to visit at one point, but we lost touch over the years. And I kind of always wondered if I would ever meet them again or if they would ever see me on TV and be like, is that the girl from St. Louis that we met? If they would go on their Alabama boys text chain and go,

hey guys, turn on the TV. I think one of the girls we met. One of the Missouri girls. And it turns out, I think that is what happened. Daniel was no offense to Lee and Dan, was it? Dan was the other one? May I speak? Yeah, you can speak, I guess.

You were my favorite. I don't want to be mean to them, but you were always my favorite. So that's what I was very excited about, was that speak, I guess. You were my favorite. I don't want to be mean to them, but you were always my favorite. So that's what I was very excited about was that you got in touch. That's really nice because we've been debating this for a long time now. First of all, do you remember? Second of all, who was your favorite? So that score has been settled.

Thank you. Did you have long hair? Yeah, for sure. And I was probably wearing a hat. I wore a hat all the time. Yes. I just remember you were wearing a hat. What kind of hat?

University of Alabama? No. Auburn? First of all, Andrew, it's Auburn. I know. You went to Auburn. I remember that. You and I talked at nauseam about this.

Hey, I was nauseous, all right. Yeah. But I don't know if, yeah, it probably was an Auburn hat or something like that. All right. Did you comb your hair forward? Yes. It was like swooped down. Oh, yeah. You swore to me at a swoop.

You at a swoop. It was cute. Oh, for sure. Oh, for sure. That's the rage. Daniel, how did we meet? Like, what was the circumstance? Because you seem to remember this, and I stopped you before you told me, because I go, just

come on the show and let's relive it, because it'll all come back to me. Yes. So I always thought it was 2001 by the way but you think it was 2002 yeah i'm pretty sure it was oh two yeah time to change the tattoo so uh 2001 2002 whatever it was we were the Alabama boys so it was it was um dan jake lee and me So there was a fourth. Dan, Jake,

Lee and me. I remember, I don't remember Jake. Sorry, Jake. Well, Jake was with Huffy most of the time. Oh,

okay. Okay. Yeah. No. Did they ever kiss or anything like that? Yeah. Maybe 69. Yeah. Oh my God.

No. I mean, at the time I'm sure I knew this, but I can't believe I've forgotten it. Okay. Yeah. No. Okay.

So actually I talked to, I haven't talked to Jake in a while, and we talked for like an hour and a half last night to try to catch up. Oh, and remember some stuff? Yeah, and remember some stuff. Okay, cool. Yeah, so definitely they were together. They were like off by themselves for most of the trip,

but we were at the Crab Trap in Destin, Florida. Is this like, I think it's like a local chain now probably. Yeah. And it's probably not a place that we would want to go anymore. Yeah. But we were all standing. I remember going to the beach. They had like a little beach bar,

and we went down there and got some virgin pina coladas, and we were just drinking those down on the beach. You know, we're like 15, 16. And so then we come back inside, and we're hanging out in the restaurant and then we're like waiting for our table and these three lovely ladies approach us and we're like they approached you they approached us and nikki it's not every day you see him like i know you've like blocked this out of your memory, but you approached us. Damn. Oh, yes.

You saw some virgins drinking virgins. Hell, yeah. Extra virgin is what you saw. Oh, my God. That does not shock me. Because we had had a spring break before. Our spring break, 01, we had gotten approached and things happened with some boys.

And so I think I was feeling a little confident in 02.'m a senior i got nothing to lose i got my little sister i gotta show her how it's done and i think that i just and you guys like seemed so nice and we were we are not intimidating yeah we still are exactly so yeah we were like you know we were on the we were kind of nerdy what was her line do? Do you remember her first line? Oh, no, not at all. We were all just like stunned. Like these women come to us and we're like, girls don't talk to us. Like what's happening? These women. Yeah, it was wild.

So yeah, you guys came and talked to us and we were just like, I can't believe this is happening. And then we had dinner. So we had dinner separately. We were at a table. You were at a table. And then I think, this is where I need your help. We think we went our separate ways, went back to our hotel condo, freshened up, and met again that night. We definitely did.

Yes. Okay. That's, yes. Did you have phones? Yeah, phones. So that's the thing. Okay, we went. Did you have phones? Yeah, phones. So that's the thing. Okay, we didn't, I don't know if we had a phone. We didn't have phones.

Oh. I don't think we had phones. So you guys just, like, how did we do this? Meet at the palm tree. I don't know. Meet at the palm tree at nine. Yeah, exactly. Like, the address.

Like, we would have to look at a map or something. We probably said, like, meet back around here at this time. Yeah. And, like, we'll, yeah, we'll meet up. Meet me at the pier. Yeah. So you meet up. So you get freshened up. Are you guys thinking, like, we'll meet up. Meet me at the pier. Yeah. So you meet up. So you get freshened up.

Are you guys thinking like, oh, my God, like, what am I going to – I'm spraying extra like obsession on or something. Yeah, some obsession for men. Some woods. Clinic happy. We're all just like bathing in it. Yeah. You guys have to be excited too, leaving and then going to meet –

I mean, there's three boys. There's three of you. Yeah, I mean, but I got to be excited too Leaving and then going to meet I mean there's three boys There's three of you Yeah I mean But I gotta be honest My I was not I was not like Thinking hook up

I was just like I just wanted to meet cute boys Like I was I did not have like Dick on the brain Like I wasn't like Man I can't wait to Yeah

You know suck and fuck Like I That was not Nikki Glaser 2002 I just wanted to be around Cute boys and flirt and have crushes like we just wanted yes i just i still to this day just love being like oh my god boys like so excited and being like which one do you like like picking your favorite but that's hard

though is because if there's three and then four you who gets who and that's always hard on us we get there's we we all we'll take anything yeah so but there is thinking like that like i'm sure when you guys were like okay i like the blonde one oh i'm sure you like the brunette one for sure jake you'll take anything right jake seriously i mean he was much more experienced than we were at that time like jake was huffy was kind of i'll take anything i love the i'll take anything i don't know anything about jake i don't remember but huffy was the one that was just like who wants to make out with me huffy was looking for some action yeah jake is your guy like yeah he was experienced so yeah those are the two friends

that found each other that makes sense it is funny we funny. We're like, Jake was experienced. What did he do? He kind of fingered a girl once. That was back then. That was way more than anything. Oh, my God. He was a little far. Yeah. So wait a second. But something interesting about this is that it was me and my sister then.

And my sister and I were not social together in high school. She was popular and as a sophomore and i was somewhere in between as a senior and so my sister had a lot more experience with boys not just you know physically but like just being friends with cool boys that i really did so it was it's interesting to me that me and my sister did this together yeah but we but we had a great time with you guys oh Oh my God. And I think it bonded us. So what did you guys do? Like throw a turtle or something?

Throw a turtle? What did we do? Well, so we went to your place. Did we meet your parents? Probably. Were your parents there? Yeah. My parents are cool too.

And I'm guessing. I know. Yes, they were there. They were there. We were staying with my parents. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we just, I feel like you had like two levels. We hung out down in the lower level.

Yep. And we just like talked. We were just talking for hours and hours and hours. Yes. Is what I think. We were obsessed. Like I was like, these are our best friends. I was so sad when we had to say goodbye.

Like there was this really intense bond that happened of like, why don't these boys go to school with us yeah and we you know they're not going to graduate until next year where are they going to go to school like where or how can we how can we have them in our lives like there was just like this longing for like why can't we why can't we have these kind of boys in our lives where were they in high school for us i feel like there's an energy when you know when i'd go on a cruise you get the best you got the best daniel you got the best day you got the best of nikki yes you know what i mean and and that energy comes together and it's funny it i don't know it ignites when you have only a few

days together it really does even if it's friendship so you're like where are these boys you probably had some boys in miss Missouri in your school that were similar, but you don't realize it. They just got our sense of humor right away, which is very unique and absurd. You know, like we were definitely a different type. I hear it all the time of people being like, in high school you guys were so like.

Weird. I just tell stories about the things we were like. The other day I was telling my boyfriend, I was like, because Kirsten sent me this card for my birthday where she drew a picture of us now and then she drew a drawing of like this picture of us back in middle school where we used to just like wet our hair and slick it back and we in high school we would refer to that photo of us from eighth grade as like look at us we look like such slick fucks so we would be like don't look like a slick fucks. So we would always be like, don't look like a slick fuck tonight. That kind of sense of humor in high school

to refer to yourselves as, oh, I'm such a slick fuck. Like, we were really funny. Yes. And weird. And I don't think a lot of boys who were trying to be cuh, these guys were not cuh at all.

We were not. There was no cuh. Yeah. And that's what was refreshing. Yeah, there was not an ounce of that in our bones. And I appreciate you saying that yeah how many days did you guys end up just that night was this one special night three or four

days oh so it was like it was several if we'll call it a few several son of a bitch i think there was one time where we actually some someone said we walked to jake's thought this he was like we we walked you were like on one end of desks and we were on the other and we walked the beach to you which i think is insane but does that i bet i mean that would sound accurate to me like back then we would have walked to you like we were so obsessed with you and we came back with the story to tell our friends of like the alabama boys we found the best boys ever that are literally us in boy form yes of like same sense of humor like to talk about the same kind of things like the same music but there had to have been some kind of wanting to kiss but i did here's i was the only time i had ever kissed someone was the year before in spring break yeah

two for two but no but i was i i the guy like was really aggressive which is what i needed and these guys were not no offense you are not aggressive boys that are going to make a move and I am not someone that's going to be like I'm going to make a move and so I mean at that point in my life there was no I would have never been kissed had someone not been like very I get that but there must have been

three or four days that's like a oh yeah that's a substantial amount of time to form a crush yes there were crushes happening. I had a crush on Daniel for sure. There were hard crushes. I had a crush on the long-haired one. So hard.

Okay. So hard crushing. Yes. Don't get it twisted. This seems very platonic, but I'm thinking there's some crushes. Did Lee like my sister? I felt like Lee and my sister had more of a thing. And then Dan was somewhere just floating in the middle.

But I felt like you and I were like mainly I don't know if we were friends or like we probably had mutual crushes and would never talk about it but like it was you and I and I think it was my sister and Lee and then Huffy and whoever. Yes that's been a debate I'm telling you we've been debating this for weeks now

and I'm like Lee you had the crush on Lauren so yes I think you're absolutely right. Now were you old were you Nikki's age at this point? I'm a year younger. Oh, right in between. So that's another thing. Well, did you ever come across, did you know of me before you put it together

that I was the girl back then? Or did we connect on Facebook at some point? Was there always an awareness of me? Oh, God. I'm like sweating, guys. It's hot in here. No, it's fine. Take your shirt off or something.

You want me to? Remind remind you spring break again yeah let's see that spring break body yeah get on the bull bod now um um so wait what was the question oh like how did you when did because someone made someone i got a text from juffy who i don't really even talk to that much anymore and she wrote a bunch of us being like the alabama boys got in touch with me this was two you know three weeks ago and i was like oh my god and for me that sends back all this nostalgia of like my friends are out there like these guys that i was like so into and honestly i was thinking of you because i was thinking about the long-haired one named daniel but i didn't remember your last name and i was was like, oh my God, who was it? And she sent it and it was, it was the other Dan, but I'm like, I know they're still friends. There's no way they're not still friends. And then I Googled and then I, then, then she sent me something and then I just

looked up your name and I went to message you and then you had already messaged me. It was loaded. I just hadn't seen it. And I was like, yes, a connection has been made. So what led to that? So I get, so the other, well, yeah, a few weeks ago, we were, my wife and I watch a lot of trash TV, garbage TV, love it. And so we were watching Bravo. I appreciate that you're doing that.

Yeah. And like an advert for your show came up and I was like, holy shit, Nikki has a show on E now? And so, and my wife was like, weren't you friends with her? And I was like, yes, like we were, you know, the best of friends. So then we started, yeah, started thinking about this. And then the guys and I are going to plan a trip or we are planning a trip to Destin

in November. So we're just talking about going back. And we're just reminiscing about the trip with you guys. And it's like, guys, we have got to talk to Nikki. We've got to find her. And so with you, it was like, you've got a million people that pay attention to you. And so it's like, there's no way she's see you know my message through all the you know yeah tit pics so i was like i could have i could have but i just missed it you know there's some days where i really would have seen it i'm so mad i did it but um it's okay so then we were like all right let's try your sister

and she never got back to us oh yeah that's even so so then lee so lee's the only one that still has facebook and so we're like lee what is huffy's name now because i'm sure it's changed so he She never got back to us. Oh, yeah. That's even harder. So then Lee, so Lee's the only one that still has Facebook. And so we're like, Lee, what is Huffy's name now? Because I'm sure it's changed. So he stalked her down. That is so good. Yeah, so he found her name. Yeah.

And we were like, Huffy. And then Huffy was the one that texted me and made it all happen. Yeah, because I told her, I was like, I'm going to go see your show in Baltimore. And just, we were reminiscing about the trip. Yes. So what happened to your life? So you went to, we lost touch almost, I would say, within a year or two. Like you, I think you guys came to visit my family one time and stayed at our house.

We did. Lee and I were on a road trip. Yeah, we were on a road trip. And I don't even know how we got in touch with you and Lauren. But I guess it was Facebook. And you weren't there, but we stayed at your house. Telegraph. Which was the mull but we stayed at your house telegraph which is the mullet house oh my god when you said that injured the other day i was like oh my god it was a mullet house dude we oh my god that house have so many memories in that house i know we're running short on time but we and i we got on the

david letterman well we didn't get on the david levin show but we were became audience members by we were at your house and we like we knew we were going to New York City from St. Louis. And so we called the Letterman Show to get tickets, and they called us back, and we had to answer a trivia question, and we got tickets. We were in your pool, and we got tickets to go see the David Letterman Show. Oh, that's so fun. Your house was so awesome.

It was so cool to be there. Oh, I love that you guys – God, it makes me so sad that we'll never have this time in our life back where it's like we're free and like you just meet

random boys you guys can cheat I know but it's just you can't do that anymore you can't do that stuff what if he grew his hair out so you

what do you do now yeah get that swoop back yeah I mean I could it's actually thinning out a little bit you look like you got a good no you're fine how old are you now 36 37 Get that swoop back. Yeah. I mean, I could. It's actually thinning out a little bit.

You look like you got a good note. You're fine. How old are you now? 36? 37. 37. So you're old. It's fine.

Your hair's going to be fine. Every guy's got a couple more years. It's actually receding a little right now. Yeah, but if you've got most of it, you're okay. What became of you? Give me what your life is now. Yeah, thank you. So went to Auburn for school. Taggers. Yeah, and studied uh go tigers studied um like construction management so i'm in construction um and i interviewed with

this company at school and they had a job offer in um southern california so i moved out there and was out there for like eight years and we were there we crossed the pass at the same time i know like we were in san diego right there no i was in la at the same time yeah that's so annoying daniel it's so fucked up so okay um so anyways uh so yeah then um let's see my wife and i got drunk one day and decided to go house hunting out there. And we were looking at a house that was like just, you know, crappy neighborhood, had offers already. And then it was like $1.2 million. And we were like, fuck this.

We cannot stay here anymore. So we're like, let's leave. So we, long story short, moved to Baltimore where we have this massive home where you're going to stay with us. We met at a 40-year-old's birthday party out there in Pasadena. A 40-year-old's birthday party? Did you know the guy? How did you both know that? It was like a mutual friend. You had a new dating thing?

Yeah. Did you walk seven miles down a beach to go find it? Yeah, I mean, yeah. So, yeah. What do you mean it was a 40-year-old's birthday party? It was like a mutual friend that we had, an older friend. Okay. She come up to you?

How long did you date before? Yeah, did she approach you? Yeah. Well, she like walked up the steps, and she made some funny motion with her body and arms, and I was like, I need to know you. I like you. Oh, that's cute. And I had sex with nine people at Pina Coladas.

Yeah. So, yeah, it was very instant with her. Those are my favorite stories of like, how did you know? Or like, what was the thing? And she just did something funny that you were just like, wait, that person's. Yes. Like, I need her in my life. So we were friends for a long time.

And then we, so she loves music just as much as I do. How did you take it From friends to To romantic You were friends for a while You obviously liked her so much Yeah it was just kind of like Hey girl You know

Wait No But you know what I'm saying Like it goes from like You guys are both like She probably likes you But doesn't really know If you like her

And then like Who makes the first That's the most interesting moment I think in humanity Is that switch Of like You're taking a chance I don't know the most interesting moment, I think, in humanity is that switch of like, you're taking a chance. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

I think you're going to have to ask her those questions. My memory is so bad. You're going to have to find out because that's an important moment. Maybe she won't remember. I'm always shocked when people don't. Boys never remember those times where I'm always like, what was the moment you knew? He said it. Yeah, who's that?

Yeah, that's a cool. did it again she was outside a car dealership trying to flag people in um you that uh okay so then you and you have a kid now so we have a kid now so she's amazing i wish she's napping um so my wife has covid it's been awful and so she's yeah you said she was has been had a cover for a while some people just can't get it out of their fucking system that keeps going both on it twice we've done all this yeah it's awful so anyways what that means that our child uh vivian is her name oh great name change oh my god she's amazing um she can't go to daycare for two weeks so we're both like she's my wife works i'm working we're like trying to do live our lives

oh my god and you're doing a podcast do you call her viv yes we do we call her viv vivi she calls herself vivi and vivian that is a great name congratulations have you met other vivians um they're all they're all uh dead now but yeah yeah that's like a that's a very um almost like an esther like an older how did you pick vivian um it really truly was my wife's grandmother's best friend's name which oh that's cute and she just your wife's grandmother's secret lesbian lover yes whatever grandmothers have best friends like lifelong best friends you go oh it was a different time they couldn't be out well I'm so glad your daughter's named

after your wife's grandmother yeah secret gay lover no that's so sweet I was just saying on this weekend

that like because I I kind of don't even know that if I ever want to get married but you just I just

but I would just end up calling whoever I just I just I and but I don't would just end up calling whoever I was with my husband just so people didn't feel awkward when I was like 70 something being like my boyfriend like grandma's having boyfriends it's just too weird yeah my grandma used to have a boyfriend and it would always crack me up to be like my grandma's boyfriend art well if they have a boyfriend you assume their husband died yes you always go oh so when did your husband die three years ago now you don't think of her as just like a yeah someone that just kind of plays by her own rules she's just a widow yeah she's just a widow all right well we've ran the gamut of this

discussion um daniel thank you so much for joining us and taking time out of your covet life it's my true honor thank you so much for having we're Well, we're going to be friends now. Truly, I want to vacation together again. I want our families to be friends. Let's do it. We made a solid friendship. Yeah, what's Jake up to? You two would be really good.

You look alike, actually. You guys look alike, straight up. Damn. He's receiving air. Daniel, will you send me a picture of you boys back in the day? Because I really want to remember what you guys looked like. I have a very strong idea of what they... I know Alabama boys and I... Alabama boys.

They really... I think one of them had a gray t-shirt with their sleeves rolled up at one point. No, they were like kind of donuts. They were donuts. And do you know what I mean by donut? Okay, that was when okay it was a type of guy yeah so it was a type of guy that we were really into that would have like kind of be like into fish and like the grateful dead and dave matthews that had the swoopy long

hair and were kind of like outdoorsy not not hoosiers not rednecks but just like like of the earth and wore like hemp necklaces. And they weren't quite that, but they had that spirit about them. Totally. And Dunnets comes from the fish song, Wilson that goes, Dunnets, Dunnets, Wilson. And so we called them Dunnets,

but you guys were on. What were your all favorite band back then? Dave Matthews. Dave Matthews. Oh, so that was probably what connected us. That's all I needed back then. Yeah. And that John Mayer album that had Neon on it.

Yes, that was the song. That was the track. Which one? Which one? I'm obsessed with Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon.

Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon.

Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon.

Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon.

Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon.

Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon.

Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon.

Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon.

Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. Neon. oh my god yes that was like definitely what made us all get along was just talking about how much we love john mayer room for squares yes oh he just arrived on the scene he was like indie dude like no one knew about him so to find these boys that knew about john mayer who i had seen open for guster eight months prior like it was wild to be like you guys know john mayer too and we would talk about the cd that like you know this is before cds info like it's over before you know it was back in the day 20 years later daniel burson so good to have you on

the show thank you for listening to the show thank you for being a fan and thank you for being my friend love you guys daniel burson love you too hope your wife feels better yeah thank you give give my love to the fam okay bye bye bye. Bye, Daniel. And your grandma's friend who died. Oh, boy. Final thought. It's got to be so fun to reminisce like that. It is so fun. You know what's so funny is I was even nervous to be like,

I had a crush on you. Yeah, I felt tension the whole time. There was literally no tension. I felt a lot of tension. There was like 1% of me being like, well, what if that feels like I don't want, he's married, like I don't want that to be like a weird thing.

Not that it would ever be, but I also, I'm always kind of thinking of that and also like, and there's that high school part of me is like, but I knew he liked me back. Like I wasn't a dummy. I just knew that we literally loved each other.

Like I loved him. He's a very kind soul. I just knew that we literally loved each other. Like, I loved him. He's a very kind soul. I just was like, oh, my God. But we were both too scared to ever, like, make a move on each other. I mean, and it felt so comfortable with him that I knew that he was never going to make a move. You know, like, it was not. I wasn't constantly being like, oh, my God, you might kiss me. And then it would make it weird because we're friends.

It was a friendship of like, someday we'll probably get together. Not anytime soon. I don't feel threatened by this person because there would be guys that I'd be friends with and then all of a sudden you get the vibe that they sense

that you like them and then things fucking get weird. And with him, it was just, I think we said I love you back then. I really was like, I love, I loved them. Loved them. I could see you guys doing it through Dave lyrics, you know? Yeah.

For sure. Probably. Yeah. Oh, I would do that with boys all the time. And as soon as it would get a little bit too, like, lover lay down would come on and I'd be like, this is too much about sex. Like, let's get back to Tripp and Billy's. Let's keep it light in here.

Let's get back to a song about deforestation is that what it's about no i mean he writes a lot about like don't drink the water what's in it um the the pollution oh and the white man i like that one song uh about the bartender make me a drink yeah fix me a drink i don't need to think whatever that song that one chorus is i just remember like drinking in my 20s being like man dave gets it like i'm so like that was any song that makes you feel cool about drinking god it's just anything that'll just yeah yeah cigarettes even like you know mad men making me feel like it's cool to smoke. There's so many things that make you feel cool. Mad men.

That culturally just convince you that it's the right thing to do. Oh, God. Reminiscing. This is where I get really sad because I'm just like, God, being a teenager was the fucking best. The possibilities that were like just endless. And I feel like the more the older you get the less time you obviously have but the more like everything gets smaller yeah and like you can't have everyone in your life that you want to have in your life you can't have friends around

constantly everyone has a job everyone has a wife everyone has a husband everyone has kids like you just it can't you can't keep the party going. And there's something about that, that like, I think that that's why I'm still single and have the job that I have. I want to keep the party. I want to keep the hang going. Not the party. I'm not a partier. I don't like going, this is the way it's going to be forever.

Now we're, I don't like commitment. And I think I'm right to not like commitment because it it makes it so you can't change slower i don't like commitment because it means that's what you're due to you till you die and it reminds me of death and that's why commitment scares me but the commitment could be with you while you change you change together i know but, but you'll always be with that person. And that means that there will never be anyone new in your life. There will never be another way, especially with a romantic relationship.

You'll never get that butterflies in your stomach of someone new that you met that, oh my God, what could this be? You'll never have the first date. You'll never have the first kiss. You'll never have... And I'm only thinking about this for relationships because i literally that feel i get that feeling for a new

job for a new restaurant i find for a new pet i get but those things i can have for a new friend i meet a new show a new song i those things i will i can do over and over and over there's no limit but a partner you get one and then you have to There's no limit. But a partner, you get one. And then you have to keep it. And then you can never. And yeah, you can do, like I was saying yesterday, you can role play and pretend it's someone new. But you never really get the excitement of something new again.

But here's the thing. I think, for me at least. You get so much more out of the fact that you grow together and you have such an intense relationship. That's not what I was going to say. That's not what I was going to say. What? That's not what I was going to say. That's not what I was going to say. Okay, what were you going to say? I was going to say

what do you think about tacos? No, I was going to say this and I really do think it's a fucking real point that the new thing that you experience, all these new things you're experiencing, you're experiencing with someone else. So you could experience 99 new things except for the one new partner but all those new things will feel great telling someone else how great they are but i can always but if i

had a partner i could tell them about how great a song was and i could still if they allowed me to have other partners or if society allowed me to have other partners or even I allowed myself to have. But no, it's not even about like I want other partners. It's about the fact that it just won't work. You cannot in relationships having multiple partners, even if I wanted it, it's not sustainable. It doesn't work. It ends up like if I get a new friend, it doesn't deteriorate my other friends. If I get a new dog,

it doesn't deteriorate. People don't, if I have two kids, no one says, you have two kids? But what about your one kid? Now you don't have enough love for two. Well, maybe I do.

Well, where it works is it, so why can't I have enough love? You can. It's just you can't, in society or whatever, however the hell we want to talk about it. No, I know. I feel the same way.

I don't want my boyfriend to have two girlfriends. You can't take it to the next level. You could be dating. If you didn't have a boyfriend, you could date 10 different guys. There's no point in having a crush for me unless there's the opportunity that it could be forever, which is ironic because I don't want forever. But the fantasy that we could get married and all these things that I play out, if that isn't possible because I don't want forever. But the fantasy that we could get married

and all these things that I play out, if that isn't possible because I have a partner in which that keeps me from those things, it's like dreaming about flying. I'm not going to fucking fantasize about flying. I can't fly. What I'm saying is if you take a partner out of it, you can have everything you're saying.

You can have all these new experiences. You just can't make one solidified. There's no problem dating multiple people. No one cares. No one gets hurt. But what I'm talking about is I have the fantasy of the one. Yeah. And that when you have the fantasy of the one

and then you get the one, you can't have more. It's like I feel about Christmas. I never want to open my Christmas presents because then the fantasy of what it could be is over and you just have but then you have the present nikki go play with the present the present isn't as good as what the present could be ever to me and there's something that i gotta work on in therapy thanks for listening to the show that's a wrap i gotta go that is that we that's how i rap every day i'm gonna go do a podcast with jason nash is it gonna be good yeah just a little bit of a dash of me and him and some other people i'm

going to a studio down the street um it's gonna start at two and then i'm gonna go to pickleball i'm gonna go hang out with my boyfriend and all of his friends i hope he doesn't ask me to go on the court because i can't uh hold a racket and I don't have a skort. A skort would be a cute thing to wear to tennis. If I find a cute outfit, then maybe I'll feel like Elaine Bennis. Cool and chic and fun and nice.

That's the end of this. And now go get me some ice. Another ice machine that my boyfriend fixed the other night because he was so efficient. And he's a boy and I can't do it. And I've been delaying calling the super and this isn't a rap anymore. It's just a fax.

Alligator, turtles, mice, and cheese. Everyone has nothing if you don't get off your knees. Stop crawling towards the sun and run to the moon. If we're not eating hard, we're not eating with spoons. All right, guys guys thank you for listening don't be cut and jake jake jake joel the holidays are a blast but the uh financial hangover that can be a huge bummer if you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help.

That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app,

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