The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #234 G- Damn!

Episode Date: June 15, 2022

Nikki asks Andrew if she can give his expired prepared meals to her mom. They discuss being recognized and Nikki says she has "grandma style" as a daily look. Vinegar might be a good fabric softner but it can't get a face as soft as Andrew's after a shave. Luigi was a good guard dog. Nikki is annoyed about her joke being edited but they celebrate the FBoy Island 2 announcement. They flash back to 1995 and an aggressive Sunny-D commercial. Andrew drops 2 jokes that Nikki heard late. She clears some things about the Welcome Home Nikki Glaser? Finale before getting to Reddit Dump. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Welcome to the show. It's Tuesday. Does anyone listen to our show at more than the speed? Oh. I don't know. Your parts. Yeah, maybe they can.

They go and take toggle. And they slow yours down somehow. That would take a lot of editing. You could do 0.5. So that it sounds like this. But you on 0.5 would be, hey, what's going on? It's Nikki Glaser. Welcome to be here.

I would sound like I was doing a commentating a horse race um an auction and a horse race at the same were you always a speed talker no um you would have to ask my parents who didn't really listen to me so um i think we'll never know no um they did i i think I was always. Because your dad speaks slow. My dad does speak slow. What I was as a kid was always being told, shh. Not by teachers, because I was very, like, at school, never talked. And, like, was just, didn't want to be seen. But at home or at restaurants with my family, especially in my adolescence, like, it was always, Nick, shh. And it would be, and it was never, like, my adolescence, like it was always,

Nick, shh. And it would be, and it was never like I was yelling like, fuck you, bitch. It was always like, I got this thing today. And it was so, like I was excited.

And then it was just, it just really depletes the air in your sails when someone, you're telling a story that you're like excited about. And then people go, shh. Yeah. And then you just go,

okay, nevermind. I got a part in a play. Doesn't matter. And then you just go okay, never mind. I got a part in a play. Doesn't matter. And then you do the whole thing of like, I'm going to make you because it's embarrassing how loud their dog, because other people were staring and I wasn't aware of people like other people maybe how loud I was. I probably needed my ears cleaned out.

You're like, why don't you just tell us the story at home? You had to wait for an audience? Oh my God. At Bennigan's? I mean, every time we walk just tell us the story at home? You had to wait for an audience at Bennington's? I mean, every time we walk our dog in the subdivision, because I just get excited about something and get too loud. Do you know that your trifecta meals are still downstairs? Yeah. Those are done.

I'm going to throw them away today. I waited too long. Well, can I take them? I'll give them to my mom. She will totally eat those. That's fine. They're still good. She just ate your trifecta meals that you gave her a while back. She was texting me from the river.

She's like, we're down at the river. Gonna have Andrew's trifecta meals. Getting excited. She just freezes them and eats them. No, that'd be fine. They've been sitting without... No, you open that thing. They'll still have refrigeration in those ice packs.

I always benefit from boys and people who don't know better like fucking no you open that thing they'll still have refrigeration in those ice packs but i i always benefit from boys and people who don't know butter just erring on the side of like chris brings stuff over to my house and is i don't get rewarded from that because he brings over like eggs and he'll leave them two days and he'll be like oh no they're bad now and i'm like no they're not what do you mean eggs inside that's an exaggeration. But like, yeah, like I just don't believe in, unless something smells bad and tastes bad. Yeah, you're a dumpster diver. Yeah, totally.

But now I'm going to get free trifecta feels for my mom because. Who said they're free? Just a discount. My dad will have to carry them and maybe break it back because those are heavy. But yeah.

He was riding his bike in 130 degree weather yesterday. My dad went and rode 30 miles. That's a heart attack, man. That's crazy. Listen, the gang never sleeps. If he doesn't do that, he's going to wake up to a horse head in his bed. All his boys talking shit. Yeah, all those old men talking shit.

He rode his bike yesterday. I went running yesterday at like, what time was that? I saw you, 7. Yeah. All those old men talking shit. Yeah. He rode his bike yesterday. I went running yesterday at like, what time was that? I saw you, 7.30. Because it gets so, I love summer, how dark it gets so late. We were in Idaho. It got dark at 9.40, the sunset. 9.40, that's exciting. I don't know.

Sometimes I want nighttime to come. Is that sad? Oh, I love it so much because I'm always pushing runs till the last second and I can't run at night. So I just love when it's like- Oh, okay. I check my clock and I'm like, oh, it's six o'clock. I got to go for a run or I'm not going to exercise today.

And then it's like, wait, the sun says it 840. I have another two hours. Yeah, we saw you right before your run yesterday. Yeah, it didn't go well. No? It's just like, it's so hot out. And my body already felt like bags of soup. I was too depressed to have energy.

Sometimes your body just like, my body was fine. My mind was just like, fuck this. So I did two and a half miles. But then I'd stop just, there was no like, I'm exhausted. There was no like, should I stop? Should I not? It was just like shutting down my stop. And then I pulled up my Lime Scooter app and I found a Lime Scooter and I scooted my way

out of the park. The other two and a half miles. Yeah, we walked to get that ice cream down the street. That's really good ice cream. It's like insanely good. Jenny's? Is that the name I want? The one that across the street from it?

I could walk into the same place 40 times and never know the name. You always say the Italian restaurant, the Mexican place. Yeah. The ice cream shop. I believe it's Jenny's. Yeah, I think so. It's like across the country. Oh, it is?

Yeah. Oh, I thought it was like a St. Louis thing. No, I don't think it is. But it's across from Mission Taco if you want to go to it in the central west end. Yeah, I thought it was like a St. Louis thing. No, I don't think it is. But it's across from Mission Taco if you want to go to it in Central West End. Yeah, I mean, we ate the ice cream, we walked. Ice cream does not feel refreshing in the heat. It did. Because it's like cream.

It did for like two minutes. And then it melts and then it's like warm cream. Oh, God. My stomach is twirling. The houses though, the streets by my jenny's it's fucking insane i can't get over it i just want to say though like let's say i didn't know you i just knew of you i wish that i would have seen a celebrity in a park riding a lime scooter because i feel like whenever i lived in new york and I would see like celebs on the street, they would just be like on Broadway.

With sunglasses on like walking to a show. And a peacoat. Yeah, just looking very mysterious. Yes. Yeah. You never see them doing anything except walking, you know, with like a handbag. There was no part of me that was like, am I going to get recognized? But it, I did look, you know what I wanted to, I wanted people to go, that's go. Because I was so depressed.

My face was. I was riding a scooter at top speed. Looking at the sidewalk despondently. And then I had to snap out of it. Because I kept seeing cars. And I was like. They're probably pointing and laughing at this depressed person on a scooter. But I didn't think of getting recognized on that.

I never get recognized. Literally ever. Not literally ever. But it just doesn't that. I don't – I never get recognized, literally ever. Not literally ever, but like it just doesn't happen. It doesn't happen, Noah. So weird. I like that though. I don't want to be – we were talking about it. There's a perfect level of fame where everywhere you go,

you don't think someone's going to know who you are. Yeah. I mean it feels – when you do get recognized, it feels pretty good, but it's not like, I can't imagine chasing that feeling. That's all I wanted. But still? No, I mean, as in high school. Oh, yeah. The idea of like someday people being like, is that Nikki Glaser, was number one goal.

I don't know why. Because you probably didn't get it enough, because you were getting shushed so much. I used to do it at my gate. We came up, we heard about this thing, Kirsten's sisters. Tell you a second, Kirsten's sisters boyfriend,

Brian Glass. He was so cool, but he told us about a thing they did where they were on spring break or something and he and his friends, one of them wore sunglasses and was mysterious at a place. And then the rest of the friends went up and was like,

can I get a picture with you? Can I get your autograph? And then everyone just started doing it because they thought this person was famous. Like it didn't matter who it was. They were just like, who is that? And they're like,

it's Brian glass. And they're like, I mean, it was before Google. This is 1999. And I just remember being like, that is the coolest idea. I want to do it so bad.

And so I never asked anyone to do it for me, but I used to, I remember go to the airport with my family and I used to just try to look famous and like sit off by myself so that maybe someone thought I was famous. So lame. But that is a fun little thing to do.

It is a fun part. A lot of rappers really, people do it too before they're famous like in the rap game or whatever where you act as if you they rent like you know a lamborghini for one day yeah and they drive down miami collins avenue and they have all their friends like and like they get like five girls and yes and it's like well they must be somebody before they're're someone, they do. They act as if. Yeah, acting as if does work.

It'd be weird. I mean, what would we do to act as if? Just huge glasses. I mean, it's just so funny to think about any other thing. I get recognized from the dogs sometimes because of – because first of all you wear you you peacock this is what you do as a celebrity you don't actually try to blend in you wear something ridiculous so people look at you and then go wait that's bill murray yeah you blend

in during the day that's your thing like you are very incognito when you run and but i wear ridiculous like i wear like bright hats and like i dress like a, I don't want to get recognized, but I end up wearing things to go for walks with the dog, like purple, you know, crocs with a green shirt and a pink hat and a big pink like bolero sack to put my, not a bolero, but like a, what are those things called? To put Marion in. So I have a dog hanging on a pink sack over my shoulder. Yeah, I guess that's. I wear like colorful things

and people kind of go, I guess they go, and my hair looks scraggly. I look like an old crazy woman. I look like the woman that used to be in comics and that was sometimes in birthday cards. It's like, I'm a hundred

and this is what I think about birthdays. With the glasses. Yes, I know exactly. I don't know who that is, but that's who I feel like I look like. Like I have a grandma style because I just don't putting together outfits is exhausting and i just saw this clip from this show called i think it's called like friend zone with um paul sheer and oh god now i'm blanking on jason man manzoukas and rob hubel and i think some other people but jason manzoukas

was talking about he's like i don't wear that's kind of a good jason manzoukas i don't wear anything except a white uh you know button-up shirt white oxford shirt and like the same pants every single day it's the same thing maybe i'll throw a vest on it or a jacket if i have a premiere but and then they started rifling through pictures of him and it it's the same thing. Maybe I'll throw a vest on it or a jacket if I have a premiere. And then they started rifling through pictures of him, and it's like the same thing every time. And he said that there was some quote by – God, who was it? Oh, no, I think it was monks. Oh, he was like, oh, this is going to sound pretentious, but I just – I was doing some retreat with a bunch of monks in wherever, India or something. And he was like, they said that like,

you know, to be closer to God, eliminate choices from your life. And you know, whatever God is or whatever like yourself, like the choices do just like muddy the water that could be clear of our like understanding of ourselves.

And like just every day is a million choices. Like think about it. Like for me, Starbucks is not a choice. It is plugged into my phone. It's what I want every day is a million choices like think about it like for me starbucks is not a choice it is plugged into my phone it's what i want every day no matter what what my food is literally not a choice anymore it is just what i want every day wearing things that's a choice i'm overwhelmed with clothes and i do like picking up clothes for my show because it can be random and fun and i can wear short like like sexy, like slutty things.

I can wear like ridiculous stuff. That's fun. And truly, like before I go to a show, I just I bring two humongous suitcases for three days of shows with different. And I don't give it any thought of like what I'm going to pair with what I just throw pieces. And then it's fun for me to go, OK. And then I even refine it from there. So when I go to the show, I pick one suitcase and I throw in a bunch of stuff from my two suitcases.

And then when I get to the show, it is like a game where I'm like, you gotta put together two outfits out of this crap. And it's like a fun game show, I think. And I enjoyed that, but on a day-to-day, blech, I gotta dress up for something today. When we have social media and is still important because it's our job and part of our job when you wear an outfit

the next week you're wearing the same outfit it's going to look exactly like the same before even if it's a different stage so you're not bringing new content there's that idea of like oh i need to look different in this new uh this new photo on Instagram because if not I'm just gonna look the same if you know part of me just wants to wear the same black shirt and jeans everything I did this whole weekend I think there's something I wore the same thing all weekend there's something about guys wearing the same thing over and over that almost is as much of a attention getter as women wearing different things. For sure. Do you agree, Noah? Remember when Mark Norman used to have a,

he wore the same thing every time? I miss that Mark Norman. There was something quirky about it. There was something that that was his thing, that he wore the same thing. Now, I think Jason Manzoukas, you wouldn't know that he wears the same thing. He's doing it not to stand out,

but I think there's something that makes you stand out if you wear the same thing and you never have to think about it. Well, George Carlin did. I mean, Carlin just wore a black t-shirt. Louis wore just a black t-shirt. What about the ponytail though? George Carlin always had a ponytail. Is that correct?

You don't even think about it. I don't even think about his ponytail. That's how manly and like- When I did an interview with the New York Times about that, I was like, I remember picking up my dad's books of George Carlin

and just being like, who is this old man with a ponytail? To me as a kid, he was the old man with a ponytail. And then growing up, you go, oh, I don't even see it. But it was a thing to be like, to maintain some coolness. That's when he reinvented himself.

When we go, George Carlin wore the same thing every time. We saw him on his special wearing that. Yes. Now every time we saw him on his special wearing that now yes now every time he performed in tacoma washington was he wearing not wear the same thing every time if you watch the documentary he was he had cool clothes like up and but like his last few he'd like he found the thing i felt like and then louis wore a black t-shirt and jeans and like oh there's been a couple other comedians ste Steve Jobs always wore the same thing. Yeah, he was a great comic. I feel like he's pretty funny, but he's funnier now.

But I do think like in my head sometimes if I'm wearing the same thing every day and I see, you know, I go to the same bagel shop or whatever, they're going to be like, God, he's a dirty motherfucker wearing the same thing. But if it looks clean, then you're not a dirty motherfucker. I know, I know. But then you have to buy a lot of the same thing or wash it a lot. And people don't. No, you just buy a lot of the same thing.

Yeah. That's what I always do with – I have a pair of jeans from – and I've lent you some of those jeans, Noah, because I bought like so many pairs of them. Remember those? They're from The Gap. I bought like nine pairs of these jeans because I was like they are perfect. I still have like three of them. I still have two. Yeah. I don't fit into perfect. I still have like three of them. I still have two. Yeah. I don't fit into them.

I don't fit into them either. I bought all different sizes and I don't fit in any of them but yeah when you find something good get a bunch of it because. Which I do. I have like 12 Buck Mason black t-shirts. Yes. This one has a pocket. One doesn't have

a pocket. one is this way one is curved but that that kind of stuff does stress me out i'm so overwhelmed with my like i'm getting women to come you know organize my place for me and get me closets and stuff they're finally coming they're coming in july i think and um but the idea of getting ready for them to come is a whole other issue. I have so much stuff. I want to do an estate sale where I have just people come by and just take stuff. I leave out everything I don't want anymore, and they just come and take it. And that way I know it's not going in a dumpster.

Or you can take it and throw it in the dumpster. Just don't tell me about it. Is there any part of you that is like, I'm spending a lot of of money i don't need to prep for them to come that's their job well i do feel that way but i have they don't know where to put everything like i want oh i thought you were giving them the reins i thought i'm going to but i what i'm going to do is put different things in piles like this all goes in this room there's a pile in this room but then there's stuff like i don't know like but you're telling them how to organize they know how to organize i know but maybe just i don't i

love things i want in my bedroom some things i want in the guest okay got you you know it's and who knows if i'm gonna and then i'm gonna have an assistant come and unpack me every week so i don't have to think about it so then i don't know what i'm gonna do with all my time it's interesting because it's like you're spending a lot of energy and thought on organizing something that you could be it's like when i used to cheat in college and i would spend so much time figuring out who i would cheat off of becoming friends with someone to cheat off of and all this i could just organize instead of fretting about organizing i mean i don't know if you couldn't do it as well. You have to find a place

to put it. It's not that easy. Yeah, this is the thing. Once it's done, then I have an assistant and she'll know every place and then I will get into town, roll my suitcases in

and she'll do my laundry and I mean, I know this sounds like very elitist but it is. I will have someone to do everything for me. Yeah.

Hopefully. I mean, once you get it going, it'll be a well-oiled machine, hopefully. Do you use fabric softener? Like softening sheets? Yes. Do you know those you leave a residue on your clothes and that's why they all look dingy? Oh. So you're not supposed to use those.

You're supposed to put in white vinegar. White vinegar? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Don't use red wine vinegar. i can see this going another way hey look we gotta go to break what if it's red clothes my new outfit andrew some say that i'm in the bloods or i'm in the crypts it sounds like a rap dude huh it sounds like a rap

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

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Seven questions, limitless answers. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry.

I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple

Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery.

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Put a half cup of distilled white vinegar in your washing machines, machines, detergent compartment. You don't need to add other detergents. What? What? I don't know. So you, oh, yeah.

So soap buildup can result in blue or white streaks appearing on your clothing. It can also turn your white clothing yellow and cause dark clothing to fade. Vinegar can loosen soap buildup and prevent it from clinging to your clothes.

Oh, man, I'm doing this. This might be my thing. Like, I always think all my clothes have, there's something dirty about me because everyone else's clothes always... Then you might smell like vinegar. Like, I always think all my clothes have, there's something dirty about me. Because everyone else's clothes always. Then you might smell like vinegar. But I feel like it will wash it out.

I feel like that would be an issue they would address on here if that was a thing. As mentioned before, vinegar won't leave any smell on your clothes. But you can add a few drops of essential oils if you want your clothing to be fragrant. Okay. You can replace fabric softener with vinegar. It can soften fabrics. So fabric softener with vinegar it can soften fabrics so you do everything with vinegar yeah i just want my um i just want my clothing to not be like have that like uh oh i put on a pair of shorts yesterday like uh sweatpants shorts and they are like

they're faded you know that that black faded that happens to sweatpants. And then I had to get something out of my pocket. And I went in the pocket and I pulled out the pocket so it's like, you know, out. And the pocket is this perfect black color, same fabric as the outside, that has been protected from whatever the fuck is going on on the outside. And you just see the potential of your clothes. And I was like, why can't that just stay that i know i'm trying to think i don't i mean i'm not one but hand washing helps at times depending on if it's delicate fabric but i feel like not putting in as

much whenever you whenever you put in you know no not not put in as much yeah oh i mean i'm one to talk but i would you know you're pushing it in to like get all the, and you're putting the colors and maybe the whites together. I made it all in, so it's definitely going to work. Throw it on cold, and then you leave it in there. And it builds up mold. That's the other thing. Like, that's what I've done before with ADD is like, I'll leave, I'll just forget that

I even ever put the clothes in. And then three days later, I i've i can't eat the trifecta meal yes yes no shave again yeah yeah yeah this is your summer look or what's what's summer look yeah i like it smooth smooth smooth and mustache keeping the mustache because last time you shaved i feel like you left some stubble no yeah this is completely smooth it felt really good like i haven't done that in a long time and there's something to the process a guy shaving their face which like it does i don't know makes you feel clean it makes you feel like oh i'm here to present myself like i feel i don't know

it's just a nice step it's meditative to do it how long does it take you not that long i but i remember you know when you're a kid you want pubic hair as a boy and you want to be able to shave yeah just you want to be able to shave want to be able to shave got it because it just i don't know there's something to my face now i do it probably once a week right now it's coming in i felt it the other day like i can feel stubble around my chin but i in the shower yeah will scrub my face with like conditioner when i'm bored because i'm just trying to take a longer or i'm trying to let the conditioner set in on my hair or something and i'm bored and i just with my razor that i use on my legs that harry's the

kind that boys get i have harry's too yeah i do my chin up to my cheek um and sometimes i almost get a sideburn where i'm like whoa i'm getting a little too because i don't use a mirror i'm just kind of in there i do this or i go like that and i shave everything and it makeup goes on so smooth and it's kind of fun because right now it's grown back i think i shaved it on saturday so i can feel a little like little like pricklies not pricklies but just little it just feels like sandpaper almost and then i'm gonna get to shave it and it's gonna be fresh like that's the fun part about shaving your legs or anything is like you get a fresh feeling whenever you want it to like do to shave it and

there's something about leaving them where you have a nice balance of fresh and then rugged a little rugged um i gotta leave my now is there fear that it will come back thicker? No. Is that a wives' tale? Yeah, it's an old girlfriend's tale. That's an old girlfriend's tale? I shave my nips. I shave my legs.

My leg hair doesn't come back thicker. The hair on the mole on my ass does come back with a vengeance. But that's always had like a long hair. Why do moles sprout like hair that are like- So annoying. Pocahontas hair. I think it's roots in there or something. Yeah, there's something in there that it's just, it's black.

I'm like, no hair on my body is this color. They are so long. But I do like shaving those off. It's like a twin that never developed. Or your chin hairs, you know, you get those long ones. I mean, it's a thing. But yeah, shaving your face, I just never did that as a woman. Now it's like... They call it dermaplaning. I do that every month

and a half. I know. Isn't that... You go somewhere to do it, right? Yeah. How do they do it differently? I have my eyes closed, but it's basically the same wand that you might use to shape your eyebrows. Yes, yes.

It kind of scrapes off the dead skin too. Yeah, it's great. And that's how I feel about your exfoliated. Yeah, yeah. Is there something that you tell yourself that it's like dermaplane versus I'm just grabbing a guy's razor, like it feels more feminine? Yeah, I mean, I think that's why they use that. Yeah, yeah. Or they use microblading instead or they use um microblading

instead of tattoo eyebrows yeah yeah you know like there's always like feminine ways but i think it is it is a way to scrape off the dead skin cells along with the hair on your face because yeah you don't realize you have a bunch of fuzz on your face and your make when you're wearing makeup and powder it just sits on top of that and it adds a layer to your face that would be probably 10 pounds if you put on 10 pounds you layer to your face that would be probably 10 pounds if you put on 10 pounds you know like your face would expand that minuscule of a hair amount not that it's bad to look like you've gained 10 pounds but i'm just saying it just adds bulk to your face that you don't need yeah brennan derma playing my eyebrows which was nice went and shaved them

yeah yeah around yeah yesterday worried that she's gonna go too far but i don't know yeah you just take off the extras nothing of the little bit under yeah did she pluck it all uh just the middle yeah yeah that's good to do who does your eyebrows no one i don't do my eyebrows anymore i used to do them religiously um i just got eyebrow tint stuff, but I got the wrong color, so I tried to do that. Oh, yeah. You used to tint them up. Yeah, I used to always tint.

Tinting is great because it looks bad the first day. You look like Charlie Chaplin, but the rest of it, it's great. But my eyebrows are so blonde, and they have... But I think they match your hair. Yeah, but I don't want them to.

I want them to be darker. Oh, okay. It's for whatever reason. See, Noah's eyebrows are darker than her hair. See? Ah. It just looks better. Eyebrows have- To me.

Since what's it, Cara Delevingne or whatever? Delevingne, yeah. No one really talked about eyebrows. On women, thick eyebrows came back. Yes, they did. Was it ever a thing before? Why did they get so thin for a while? I don't know.

It was the 90s, 2000s. We just went crazy because i think like we were just like thin we have to be thin everywhere everywhere like bushy eyebrows was more masculine i guess yeah and we were like little petite eyebrows i don't know why that was such a good look and that we actually all thought it looked good like we it wasn't like it didn't look good and we just didn't know. It did look good to us. That's the weird thing about fashion trends or attraction. The things you think are hot, it's not like you were blind to it in the 90s or that outfit that you're looking at a picture of, that throwback.

You're like, ew, what the fuck was I wearing? No one thought that was weird. We all agreed it was cool. It is interesting that all it takes is one insanely attractive person to lean into doing something different for people to go, that would be attractive on me. Like this mustache,

like a lot of people had a mustache. The Beatles all grew mustaches. Yes. So my dad had a mustache, like mustaches ran wild. Long hair was the Beatles. They came. Yeah, and you're like,

oh, I look like him. Yeah. Meanwhile, it's like, no, you're like, Oh, I look like him. Yeah. Meanwhile, it's like, no, you're, you're him. But,

uh, have you ever started something that you didn't take from someone else? Yeah. Cause that's a hard thing to do. I've not, I don't think I've ever had the confidence to be like, I'm going to do this weird thing that no one else is doing. No,

I don't. I can't think of one time. I've been completely original. Taylor Swift shirts as a 37-year-old. I'm 38 now, but wearing consistent pink little girl Taylor Swift shirts is a thing that I did not get from anyone. That I was like, this is not cool, but it's just what I want. Or I'm trying to think of anything else.

Nose piercing when I got it. It wasn't like I got that idea from someone. I was just really like, I just think that's the place to get it where it won't scar. I got this pierced for a little while. The top ear. But did someone else have that?

No, not that I saw. Just we all went somewhere there in the summer. And I was like. Did anyone else in your group get it up there? No, they were like, that's so dumb. No, I think someone else got an eyebrow. Oh, yeah. Didn't you get an eyebrow?

No. Chris got an eyebrow once as a joke. What? Yes, as a joke. An eyebrow. Jesus. And I'm like, that is the most scarring place. Who's the joke on?

He was just like doing, I don't know. He was just going to show up in his mom. I don't know. And he went full piercing? Yes. I did not expect Chris to do that. Yes. I like that.

That's insane. I know. I didn't expect it either. I was like, where's that guy? Where's that guy taking risks? When's the eyebrow piercing going to show up? My dad did not love that earring. He was like, I remember I started, I don't know, I was feeling sick coming back.

I was a counselor at camp. And he's like, yeah, your ear's infected. I was like, are you sure? I think you might just be saying that for me to take the earring out. And then it was. It probably was. He's probably right. Oh, my God.

Those infections. I mean, I got my ears pierced when I was 20-something. Or no, in my 30s. And it got infected so bad. Even though I washed it. That's the only reason I won't get piercings now. It's like I don't want to deal with the infection and, like, cleaning it and how much it hurts when it gets infected and inflamed and, like, oh, it sucks.

It is interesting, like, taking chances fashion-wise, piercings, dyeing your hair. Like, when you get to a certain age where you're like, no, this is just the age where you're just this person. And then you get a little bit older, around like 60, and then you start dyeing your hair pink again. Like people take. Yes. Because they're out. Maybe they're living. Because they're doing what they want. Yeah.

At that point. What is Luigi barking at? Luigi, no one's there. It would be amazing if there was a guy there with a. With a machete. Yeah. And we just get murdered on camera. Luigi, can we just see what's there?

What could be there? There's someone probably going in. Hey, there's someone here. Do you feel stupid yet? Come on, come back in. Come back in. You know what's there? Hey, Luigi, come on.

Do you feel dumb? You should. Nice try. Come on, get in here. Nice guy? Nice try. Come in July 14th feel dumb? You should. Nice try. Come on. Get in there. Nice guy? Nice try. Coming July 14th. Speaking of, yeah.

Yeah. FBoy Island is back, baby. Perfect Strangers 2. FBoy Island 2 is back July 14th. Check out my Instagram to see the story of like you can meet the cast and see all the new cast members and see a little promo clip. I'm going to put one up later today that involves me. That is not very flattering, but I'm going to put it up anyway

because it's all they gave me. And let's get to the news. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, boy. It's Tuesday. You know what that means, folks?

It is Tuesday. I hope you're having all the swells out there, apparently. We're having swells here things are going well Luigi's having a conniption yeah they gave me a clip of the show

and I'm just like they cut out me saying god damn which makes the timing of the joke so much funnier cause I say you know

the girls are gonna judge you as you walk across this you know you know the girls are gonna judge you solely based on your look. So you can see how it feels for once in your goddamn lives. And they cut out goddamn. So it just goes,

so the girls are going to watch you walk and judge you by your looks. So you can see what it feels like for once in your life. And it just like comes out. And it's just like, makes me look, the joke was, it builds up to me being crazy. I go from a host,

like the girls are going to judge you. God damn is part of the progression look the joke was it builds up to me being crazy i go from a host like the girls are gonna judge you god damn is part of the progression of the joke it's a part of the joke people cut around my jokes all the time and i can't stand it like it makes me look insane like i feel right now because i watch this clip and i'm like i don't want to clip i don't want to post this now if you weren't gonna use me me saying goddamn because the show is so precious that we can't offend the religious right of saying goddamn, what are you going to go to hell? You're probably going to go to hell because you invented a show called F-Boy Island and you put it on your fucking platforms. Maybe that'll get you in hell.

No. Were you saying God having the host say goddamn? So they take out goddamn. So I just look. It takes away the joke. People don't understand jokes. I was watching on Instagram yesterday and there was a great joke made by Julio

Garotti. And it was such a good joke. The bros thing? Yeah, the bros thing. I like that story joke. But guess what? The punchline was given away in the caption before he said it, and so it took away from the funniness of it. They do this all the time.

People, you're not funny, so leave editing. Editors, shout out to editors. You need to be funnier. You need to not put, don't take out things. But this wasn't an editor's fault. This was HBO going, we can't have her say goddamn in a clip. And I get it. This is like what your parents did.

This is kind of like how you started the show, the shushing. I can only imagine what they thought of the promos we did. I mean. That day. Yeah, well that. I just saw a lot of this happen on my e-show. I see it happen all the time.

Unless it's my standup special where I get to control what gets taken out they will suck you can never judge me based on how i'm being funny on a show that i didn't edit please don't because i promise you i was funnier than it ended up because there are so many things on welcome home nikki glaser question mark that i'm like what does this even mean we're doing a callback to something that you didn't even do the setup for. So we look insane. Do you not understand? You can't put a ham drip slash callback

to a joke that you didn't allow the audience to see the setup of. A callback, the only way it can exist is that if it has its first part to, you can't do the end without the beginning. What are you doing? So it just makes us look fucking insane it happens over

and over and I don't know how to control it you know what the control is no more callbacks no more callbacks in any reality next time we do the show I'm not doing callbacks I'm not it's not the editor's fault it's not E's fault it's not the showrunner's

fault it's no one's fault they just don't have enough it's time's fault it's not the editor's fault it's not e's fault it's not the showrunner's fault it's no one's fault they just don't have enough it's time's fault it's advertisers fault because they don't have enough time to include the setup and the callback is easier it's easier to cut around the setup than the callback oftentimes when callbacks are just put in and then not setups it's an it's a lazy choice but it's true because these people aren't being paid enough probably to go, okay, well, we need to cut out two seconds of this. Oh, well, that little joke at the beginning. Well, okay, now that you cut that little joke at the beginning, the end part where I say, and you know, his shoes weren't on, I look like an insane person. It makes me look insane so much more than I am and i'm insane when you take out god damn listen to this can i just play it for you how insane i sound this is this is the clip

and it's hard i love you keep giving me jobs but like come on guys let's let's all work together to not to not take out funny stuff, Noah, you are good about knowing comedy and knowing when things need to be. Like, all the clips that we do from the show, I've never once been like, oh, she cut her, like, she didn't, they didn't cut this right. I know you don't do the cutting yourself,

but you tell them what to make. Yeah, I mean, but that's because I listen to you and I take in the information and I understand what it is that you like. I want to just say. Yeah, go ahead. No, no, please. I was going to say that I got to see you guys this weekend

and we were hanging out in the green room and it was maybe like five minutes before the show started, like ten minutes before the show started and you and Andrew and Anya, you're like, okay, let's come up with like Phoenix specific jokes. i i just my mind was blown and how quickly you did it everything was so funny and like so relatable especially like me being from this area now and like understanding how much like that joke is gonna hit i was so thoroughly impressed i just want to say

it was definitely a highlight for me that that is something that i was so thoroughly impressed i just want to say it was definitely a highlight for me that that is something that i would like to put on the reality show if we do it again of like those i've been doing those when i go to a town i just look up interesting facts and i literally do it 10 minutes before showtime we should tell them on here sometimes or maybe make it a segment man i wrote like if we, I wrote so many fucking good ones that it was the most fun. It's the most fun thing for me to do on the road. And yeah, we had some good, what did we say?

My favorite one was where we- The Spitter Saguaro. Oh yeah, there was a cactus called a Saguaro. And I forget how it's spelled, but in Phoenix, if you cut down a cactus, you get 25 years in prison, up spelled, but in Phoenix, if you cut down a cactus, you get 25 years of prison, in prison, up to 25 years in prison, this protected cactus called a saguaro.

And Noah was the one who told us about it. And she was like, but it's pronounced saguaro because it's spelled different, right? Differently. It's like S-E-G-U-A-R-O. Yeah. And she was like, no, it's saguaro. And so I wrote down saguaro and I was like was like okay i'll just say that i remember that by by that's um that's how i that's what i sound like when i have a penis in my mouth and i go sure suwaro and that's and noah loved that um uh and then we came up with

like if you chop down that cactus and you get 25 years in prison, people just sharing what they're in for. Like, dude, what are you in for? He's like, rape. And you're like, what about you? He's like, murder. They're like, what about you? And you're like, I just had to have a cactus, man. And then Andrew added, you should have seen what it was wearing.

Also something like how sharp it was. It was holding a sharp knife. No, I don't know. I forget what. Something was sharp. There was something with like. Cactus's always look like you're saying, put your hands up. They do.

They do. I didn't do anything, man. I didn't do anything. They're so defensive. They are. It's like, what were you up to, cactus, with your sunglasses on, doing a boogie woogie? Oh, wait. That's the one you buy at Walgreens.

That would be like. They're the skunk ofogie. Oh, wait, that's the one you buy at Walgreens. That would be like, it's Anna. They're the skunk of trees. No, not skunk. Fuck. What's the porcupine of trees? Oh, yeah, they are. The porcupine, that's kind of suck to always have that on your back. I think they shoot them out so they don't hurt you.

Oh, they're not always exposed? Yeah, it's like the stingray. You think if you touch a stingray, it's going to stab you just from being touched, but it has to shoot it out. Oh, I just got a memory of a catfish this kid Jason Alter stepped on, and it went right through his foot.

Oh, God. That's Florida. And they're going to judge you solely based on your looks, just so you can see how it feels for once in your life. Oh, yeah, that's bad. Once in your goddamn lives. It's goddamn you need the buildup. It felt like maybe because you're angry.

It hits more that it's not there because of the rant you just went on. But I also do feel like you can feel. No, I don't even want to post it because it makes people are going to go, this host sucks. And it's like the joke you need. I know that seems so inconsequential that goddamn, but it allows the ramp. It's funny to see someone go from like, I'm a host to like losing their mind. But if it happens in one word, it doesn't make sense. If you see the progression.

It's like you have Tourette's. Exactly. Yeah. Yes. And that's, it looks a little Tourette's anyway, but it needs that goddamn, but it's just like, I'm just, just don't even put the joke in then.

Put something else in. I just can't, I can't deal with it. And that's why I can't watch anything I do. It's because it just ends up in the hands of people that are just trying to do their job and follow network instructions of like, we need to cut this down.

This is too much. That's going to offend this people. But the word goddamn, which I know they cut not for time because promos don't need a time limit. They cut it because of the Christian right. That is so stupid and hypocritical. You're doing a show called

F-Boy Island. I think you can put in I should have said G-Damn. I should have said G- yeah yeah exactly that would have been different all right let's get to the news garstarn garstarn that would be what if they yeah what if they uh put in a different voice in there it would have been fine if they would have had me go hey can you just put in like uh god good darn like if i would have said something like i could have done a voiceover for it. I don't know.

They just make choices. Because guess what? It's not going to affect viewership. It's just going to affect people if they want to see me on that show again, which I wouldn't. And then the promo for the F-boy, I'm not in it at all.

So that feels great too. Thanks, HBO. Max. Max, the guy that looked at my vagina yesterday. Call back. You don't have to looked at my vagina yesterday. Call back. You don't have to be there. Hamdrip. Out of context.

Just put that. Don't listen to yesterday's episode. Just put that as the clip. Yeah. And then set up a clip about. But throw God damn in there, Max. That's so funny. I'm like scared now that HBO is going to give me a job because I insulted them.

But if you don't give me a job because i'm mad about that then that's on you it's stupid if anything they'll probably give you more work oh yeah i nagged them hard yeah all right let's get to the news okay i want to get one new story in yes boom boom boom okay say goodbye to internet explorer microsoft plans to retire the web browser tomorrow 27 years after after its first launch back in 1995. Isn't that what we, no, we have Safari. Internet Explorer with the E? The blue E with the little rocket coming out of it?

Here's some reminders of 1995. Ready? Friends. The Billboard year-end Hot 100 singles from 1995 coming in at number one. Any guesses? Hootie and the Blowfish. Only want to be with you.

Andrew? Joe Crow. Santa Monica Boulevard. Where was I? That was high school, sophomore year? No way. Really? Or freshman year?

Oh, wow. Fuck freshman year. Oh, Verve. No way. Really? Or freshman year. Oh, wow. Fuck freshman year. Oh, Verve. Verve. The Verve. It's Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio. Oh, wow. That was the year.

And then Waterfalls and Creep come in at number two and three. So TLC had a very good year. Oh, yeah, they did. Clueless was released in 1995. Oh, my God. It was the bestess was released in 1995. Oh, my God. It was the best. The most iconic movies. So iconic.

And the show sparked a sexy, preppy trend of shortened tartan skirts, fitted blazers, collared shirts, argyle, and over-the-knee socks. And little pens with little furry things on the end. And saying, as if. I'm still baked. What? You remember that scene? You always reference that scene. I love it. I never remember it. It's always my favorite scene.

Wait, what is it? What is the scene? That almost ruined my high. I'm still baked. They're at the party and Faison comes in. Isn't that his name? Wait, who says I'm still baked? Donald Faison. She does. I don't know who she is. The main girl. The main character.

Okay, share. Yeah. They come in. They get in a horrible fight right after they smoke weed. That almost ruined my buzz. And she goes, I'm still baked. Yeah. Why is I'm still baked funny?

I don't know. It's just a funny line to me. But is it funny now? Or was it funny as a kid? Because there's so many other lines in that are funny but saying i'm still baked after someone says i almost lose my bus that's being like oh i'm not hungry anymore i'm still hungry like what's funny about that it's just something it's just so no i know it's just so cheesy it's like it's it reminds me of like when i

uh uh like my friends opened up a liquor cabinet and i was like hey jim beams over there and they like that line they like destroyed me for because it's just such a it's just it's like a kind of line yeah yeah yeah okay that makes sense i'm just trying to over there like pointing out one liquor like the one you knew yeah you are so good i'm so glad your friends trashed you about that we were good at pointing out like shit like that you know that that that shot from the suddy d commercial where it's inside the refrigerator that's the shot i want to see of you and your friends going through the liquor cabinet and them like kind of sorting through and they're like oh we got this over here and you go jim beams over there and then they all stop and just turn around

and look at you in the corner going, Jim Beam's over there? Oh, really? That's exactly what happened, dude. It was very embarrassing. And yeah. I watched that Sunny D commercial last night because it was on Reddit on like a nostalgia thing.

And the one where they're like grape, like purple stuff, soda. Oh, Sunny D. And it's in the back. And there are teenage boys that are genuinely like in their 30s in this commercial and they get so then they're all out by the pool drinking the sunny d and one of them finishes it and they almost attack this kid like he's going to be like i'm really worried about this kid's safety how mad they are and then the mom pops out of nowhere and goes i got some more and they're like oh you came in right into the clutch mrs oh before they were gonna beat this kid i mean it is so funny how angry i literally was watching it being

like why would they have this this looks violent because all the kids are like getting ready and they're adult men being teenagers i gotta show it to you it's so funny pull up that like for your own sake whatever you remember of that sunny d ad if you if you remember what i'm talking about it is so much more violent than anything. What was the other thing your mom's got? Not Chef Boyardee. Your mom's got stovetop? That blew up.

Oh, I don't remember that. Really? No, I remember your mom's got just mom's always coming in and like hamburger helper or something.

Hamburger helper. No, I don't know. Maybe I'm alone here but I remember stovetop being huge. I bet that is one. I mean that was such a trope in 90s things.

Oh your mom's got this? Like the mom comes in and she's like and she saves the day and she's like I'm a good mom and everyone's like yeah you are.

Yeah. I want to find the Sunny D ad because I want you to watch it and have a reaction video. Sunny D commercial. In the meantime

Tommy Boy also came out in 1995. Oh, God. I watched that the other day, and it was so freaking good. So good. I can't even stand it. When he goes, I'm not baked anymore. Oh, my God. Okay, so just watch this part, Andrew.

Just press play. This is when the boys finish it, and they start attacking their friends. Oh, God. We got to play it. One boy finishes it. What are you doing here? There's one. Problem, guys? Oh, God. We got to play it. One boy finishes it. Don't they look like they're about to disembowel him? I mean, it was so quick.

I thought it was going to be like. Go back. Go back. Wait. Wait. They look like they're about to hurt him. I was worried for his safety. If I was a director of that commercial, I'd say, hey, can we tone down the attack of the boy?

I'd amp it up. It seems like he's going to get bullied to death for finishing the Sunny D. Do you remember, Sunny D, how disgusting it was? It hurt to swallow. I'm trying to think what it tastes like. Someone said it tasted like gasoline, and it was like, yeah. It's like if orange juice. It tasted like vomit, like the aftertaste.

It was bad. It was bad. It's like if OJ committed more murder. Oh, no. Oh, my guitar teacher is here. That's who was here. Fuck. Oh, fuck.

I forgot. You want to pause? No, this was 20 minutes ago Oh fuck I was doing my podcast Oh Luigi you were right Luigi was right all along I'm so sorry

I will pay you double For this one I'm so sorry Oh my god. Not writing things down on my schedule. I just can't do this anymore. If you were a guitar teacher and you showed up to a lesson and they weren't there, would it be

good if they paid you double? Yeah, I'd be like... That makes up for it, right? Yes. And then some. I think it depends on the person. He also doesn't have to hear you play i mean it's great yeah that's a good thing too but just lugging over his guitar and like spending time if i was dog walking and someone didn't answer and i waited five minutes and then they paid me double and then i go do whatever the fuck i want it's not like he's out

there being like oh oh no oh you know he's just living his Well, he did hear me go, oh, no one's here, Luigi, you fucking idiot. He heard me mock my talk. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, does he have a machete? And the guy's like, I don't have a machete. The reason we couldn't hear him through the door probably was because we have headphones on. And so I couldn't hear maybe a real sound that was happening out in the hallway. God, I'm such an idiot.

He should have strummed. He should have strummed. He should have strummed. Hook it up to an amp next time. Okay, do we have one more story? I have a very funny story that I saw that I was telling Noah about. Oh, yeah, Andrew with International News. Take it away. So did you see the elephant story recently?

It's all over. Oh, my God. It's so sad. So this elephant trampled a woman to death, then went to her funeral and trampled her again i mean that is it is so sad because i read about this and i was reading about how this woman was just filling like going to the fucking ravine to fill yes to get water to get drinking water and this happens a lot of times in ind where the elephants, they're like constantly in fear of elephants,

like trampling them. So this woman who was just trying to get drinking water, which we're like, I don't know. This water tastes bad. It's not smart. We were just complaining about Sunny D. They would love Sunny D.

And this woman gets trampled to death. She does nothing. And then this elephant crashes her funeral, pulls her out of the funeral pyre whatever it is and then proceeds to trample her again like i mean what did it what were they what was the beef it reminds me of like not that i ever saw godzilla but i feel like maybe it's something like that where the the monster whatever falls in love with the woman oh you think it was a love thing oh did you ever do you remember that story with the tigers at the zoo the guys mocked them were mocking the tigers came out and found them

yes like two miles away and elephants never forget i mean honestly they don't but there must have been something about that woman either something some maybe it was some like beef they had in a past life or something or yeah you know i don't want to say that she finished the sunny she was blamed for it yeah she finished the sunny d in the past life it's honestly what they were about to do to that boy i mean so sad it made me so sad to read it at first it was just like whoa this is crazy but then i just kind of thought about all these people just to get water to to get drinking water, to get bathing water. They have to be scared that maybe a fucking hippo or an elephant might trample them to death.

Can you fucking imagine? Like, it just made me, like, so sad. At first I was like, oh, this bitch probably hurt this elephant and was, you know, a circus tamer or something. Like, I wanted the story to be vengeance from,, yeah, yeah. From, like, getting abused. But it wasn't. It was just this poor woman trying to get water. So it was a bummer. Hippos fuck people up.

Hippos kill everyone. Fuck. Hippos are the most dangerous animal. Yeah. Because people underestimate their speed underwater, especially. Watch a hippo run underwater. It is so fast. It's wild.

I just saw a hippo take on like three lions. And I was like, who are these guys? And their teeth are hilarious. They look like rocks in there. I know. They never have. They're just going to stay in one place and just like lunge forward. It makes me feel like I could lose a few more teeth and be fine.

Yeah, they're cool. Thanks, hippos. Yeah, thanks, hippos. Okay. And thanks, HIPAA, the contract I signed yesterday so that Max can't talk about me, but I can talk all about Max. How did his dick look in those pants? Let's take a quick break and come back with Why Do I Care? 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year.

It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a

little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions.

Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson.

Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please.

Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager.

Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses.

But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems

as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. He said, hi, Nikki, I'm here heading up now. I'm outside your door. I knocked a bunch of times, heard voices and a dog barking. Not sure if we're on today. Let me know either way. Thanks.

What was I just going to say? He's like, oh, she's practicing. Oh, so, okay, we we're back let's do why do i care why do i care wait did you just say that my guitar teacher thought i was practicing because he heard dog bark guitar sparking and voices yes listen to me i didn't listen it took me a second why did they sometimes it's like well how about o about OJ, but more murder? You missed that joke. OJ, but more murder. Describing Sunny B.

Yeah, that was really funny. It's like OJ, but more murder. It's so funny. But your fucking guitar teacher ruined it. That sucks. That's so funny. All right, so wait, so wait. So did you...

Max Rip. Wait, wait. Why do I care? Wait, why do I care? Okay. So gentle. I don't even know why I said that. Why do I care?

Who cares? Eric Dane, who plays a closeted gay character on Euphoria and was also known as McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy, tells Andy Cohen that his DMs are filled with dick pics and dirty messages from guys, despite being straight, and that he has a hard time finding dates because he's not an app guy.

Aw, Eric Dane. Let's take a look at what he looks like. I mean, he's insanely handsome. He's a rugged man. Is he a dad on the show? Yeah, he's a gay dad who's an alcoholic who has sex with like teenagers like teenagers and then he gets caught yeah i remember mcsteamy he tells andy i get lots of

dick pics no that's him and then yeah that's what he wore to the premiere of euphoria that's not the best photo of him no it isn't he He looks like he's at a costume event. It looks like someone magnated. He looks like Ricky Martin. Like a magnet mustache. Who needs to go to rehab. Okay, so he used to be married to Rebecca Gayhart. They had a threesome that they filmed.

I remember that. That was so hot. Whoa. Him and two girls or two guys? Two girls. Him and his wife and a girl. Okay, go on, Noah, sorry. All right, so he told Andy, he's like,

I've seen a lot of ugly penises. I've seen a lot of pretty ones. And then he says, I feel like I don't ever meet women because look, I'm not a dating app guy. And I think that's kind of where the majority of meeting happens on these dating apps, the various Raya's, Tinder's, whatever. He goes, I'm from the 90s 90s man i'm more of a like hey how are you kind of person yeah you got to get over that eric dane like it's app time now

like you're ordering food on apps and maybe you're not you're ordering your your clothing and it's where it's happening you just got gotta give into the apps like give him a try get on raya that guy will clean up on raya i mean that guy yeah i'm sure in between 30 dicks there's great tits like i'm sure he's also getting hit on a shit ton but granted it's fans but yeah that's i don't know it's that's that's tough i mean i just think that people that go i'm not an app guy i'm just tired of hearing that because it's like, you got to evolve with the times. Like things are different now. Yeah.

It's creepier to go up to a woman at a grocery store and just go, hey, you like cereal too? Like that's just not gonna. Yeah. Send a dick pic in real life. I'm a cereal killer. Yeah.

That's weird. Yeah. Just giving a Polaroid of a dick pic, passing it to a woman in line at TSA. Showing your dick at Whole Foods? Yeah. Those are the old times. Are you still getting dick pics?

Are you still getting? Yeah, but I rarely unblur something. You know, everything that gets sent to me is blurred, and I rarely, like, spend the time, because you have to, like, click it, and then click again, and then approve it, and it's like, I don't think any, like, unless it's a bestie who's like,

hey, I saw this and thought of you, and it's like, and't think any like unless it's a bestie who's like hey i thought like i thought saw this and thought of you and it's like and now guys are gonna send me that i saw this and thought of you bestie like that's gonna be away but um i can just usually if it's a girl's account need one ticket it's not gonna be a dick need one ticket in a wheelchair and i don't mind dick pics honestly i think it's so hilarious that someone would do that and think that that might work for me or something. No woman just craves a random dick. It's such a weird thing that men are just – that's where you go. That man is completely self-centered and has no ability to have empathy because if he had any idea how women think, he would know that we don't think like you do. He's thinking women think the same way

if a woman sent me a picture of her pussy, I would love it. So let me do this and she'll love it. That's a guy who doesn't know what, consider that other people might have different desires. It's a bad sign. It's pretty funny when it's like, so I'm either gonna write like,

what you up to or send my dick. It's one or the other. What am I gonna do? I mean, there's no one between it. I'm not gonna write like what you up to or send my dick it's one or the other yeah what am I gonna do I mean there's no like what else I'm not an app guy I'm not an app guy

but I'm gonna show my dick guy last night Chris came over and we were just like eyebrow Chris yeah the one with the cool eyebrow ring from 25 years ago

he still has a scar not gonna not gonna no big deal damn dog fight first of all people think we're

engaged because of the reality show people really did not see that they thought that when he got down on one knee he gave me a ring for some reason again i didn't watch the finale i watched it last night is there any is it confusing did they try to purposely make it look like we're getting engaged i mean he got on a knee and gave you a ring. But was there context, like what the ring was about? Did he pull out like a fake ring? No. The ring, that wasn't really discussed. Exactly. I saw the clip and I go, they tried to, they didn't give the context of the ring, which

is, I believe it was a joke. And we definitely were like, let's do a fake ring. No, it looked like you were holding, like it looked gold. Yes. So I don't remember what it was specifically. I think I took it off my finger and was like, give it to me. It felt very much like a proposal that wasn't. Yes, it did.

And it was like at the last second go, which is, that's a fucking prank. Like on a girl that you've been dating for this. But I knew he was going to do it. No, no, you knew. But I'm saying as a viewer watching it, like it didn't come off like. I knew. Yes and no, but not like, it wasn't very clear cut watching it. Again, didn't come off like i knew yes and no but not like it wasn't very clear cut watching context i will never ever judge someone from a reality show ever again because

my mom is like nikki i'm getting all these calls about you and chris my friends have all these opinions and i go they're based off of a show that does not show the truth like it's it's based off of little moments with no context a lot of times. It doesn't mean it's not entertaining. It doesn't mean that you didn't see every moment was actually a real moment. But I don't need your unsolicited advice about my relationship

based on two minutes of it you saw on a show. It's like getting unsolicited dick pics. And your reality show, like that's a scripted show. People think... My reality show. Like your reality... So that guy was getting like that's a scripted show people think my reality show like your reality so that guy was getting dick pics from a scripted show because people think he's gay people really think this is yes your life you're getting it is but it's just i just realized

that so many times i form opinions about people from 22 minutes of their life yeah that i see and i really do have strong opinions about you should pick him you shouldn't pick him bachelorette or like oh Paige why are you dating this guy it was summer house like I know yeah and the thing is you don't know and it was so funny to hear my mom and tell me like all of her friends and she was giving me advice like it was like real advice like well my friend Susan says you and Chris I don't think it should work and I go go, are you presenting this to me? Like I should consider her advice based on what she saw of my life. Like I would never in a million years let this woman dictate any kind of,

it was just, and she goes, well, three of my friends think you should stay together and three think you should. And I go, I don't need to hear any of this. This is your focus group. And my mom literally said that. And then she wrote me yesterday. She goes, I had three calls thinking you got engaged.

And I'm like, I knew that they made it look like that because they needed to make it look like something but no it was a fake proposal that i was in i was in on it i knew about it um so yeah what was i gonna say about max oh yeah so last night when he came over it was really fun because um we were like you know just just canoodling on the couch just kissing and i was like another man saw my vagina today i just need to be honest with you about that because we were just canoodling on the couch, just kissing, and I was like, another man saw my vagina today. I just need to be honest with you about that.

And he kind of got like, what? And I was like, his name is Max, and he was a student teacher. He was a med student. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he works for UPS, but he's also a med student. I could have given all the details. He'd be like, what the fuck?

So wait, so you said he's a third year med student, which actually sounds like a hot eligible bachelor. Yeah, and I was like, Max definitely saw my vagina. And he was like, what do you mean? And I was like, I thought it was a girl when I proved it. And then Max came in and I couldn't not send him away. And he was like, it doesn't make me feel anything. I was like, sorry if that killed the vibe.

He goes, no, I just didn't do anything to the vibe. He was unaffected by it but I was just trying to be funny. He did think it was funny though. Okay, let's go to Reddit.

It would be funny if you were like, and I let Max because he was so hot. Yeah. I was going to send him away but then I let him stay because we just had a vibe. All right, let's get to Reddit.

Dump. Dump. All righty. Let's get to it. Okay. So this was from the subreddit Weird. It says, my husband, she's 36, he's 41, has some disturbing requests for after he's passed away this one is really bizarre and i'm sorry ahead of time my husband of 12 years has some medical problems

recently the topic about end-of-life plans came up and i asked if he wanted to be buried he didn't want that nor did he want to be cremated my husband wants me to have his skull taken from his body his skull taken from his body and cleaned then he wants the skull put on a mantelpiece in the living room the rest of his body he wants sent to one of those places that makes the gems out of bodies i didn't know those places exist and made into two blue diamonds he then wants those gems to be put in the eye sockets of the skull to look like eyes then he can quote watch the family home and be quote be passed down through the generations i love it it. Wow. That's so thoughtful. I like it. It's a little bit creepy,

but I totally believe in, I would love to have my skull be passed through instead of some urn with my ashes and be like, this is grandma's skull. That is so cool. Yeah, I could see that. I could see you having a nice skull on the wall. We put animals on it.

We put everything on the wall. I want to get a Marion stuff. Why don't we stuff you and throw you on the wall? I'll put you in my living room if you die before me. I would do my skull. Would you take my skull? I don't think you're allowed to do it. No, I want your whole face.

I want to stuff everything. No, no. It already looks stuffed. Because what if it... It would look like me in the morning. I know it would. Because those never look good. No, I'd put makeup on you.

No, my head would be in a jar in a formaldehyde and it would be kind of puffy like I just woke up. It would have like an imprint of the eye mask I was wearing. She's a jar. Okay, this is...

Ah! Oh my God, my guitar teacher's here. Okay, so... Is he here for real? No, no, no. But I was just interrupting a good joke

with my guitar teacher again. Ham drip. Double, double ham drip. Turkey, turkey tears. Okay, so this is from Ask Men. And the question is, if you could change one thing about your penis what would it be and i thought oh it's gonna be size yeah um someone said it's a wreck status would be 100 under my conscious control

uh remove the scars and the corresponding scar tissue oh um that makes 10 speed vibration someone said that's a good one oh i it to be able to shoot out a laser capable of cutting steel. It should be controllable and not like Cyclops from the X-Men. No ball hair. Why so many? I have not seen this much before.

Edit. Holy fucking hell, this is like double hours. I don't know what that said. Okay, so someone said no ball hair. I mean, someone said,

I'm 51. I wish it worked like I did when I was 14. Yeah. What would you change about your... You would add like a half an inch, you said? I mean, if we're going to add whatever we want. Yeah, add whatever you want. Don't go too crazy.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to make my dick be able to fly. That'd be pretty cool, though. Like let him do his own thing. Oh, yeah. You know, sometimes it's annoying to have a dick all the time. A removable. A detachable one. Yeah, a removable dick.

Yeah. I always kind of, I used to be obsessed with penises. When I die, will you keep my dick on your wall? Yeah, can I take the skull of your dick? I'll just, yeah, I'll take one of the, oh my God. I don't have any kind of like, if I kept a, what if you really did pass down your penis in formaldehyde i would hope you'd keep it i would not want that what i did used to want when i used to be kind of like more of a adventurous whore and not even adventurous or you know how girls do molds

of their boyfriend's penises yeah yeah like make a toy of it i wanted a stuffed animal of my boyfriend's penis oh okay because i just wanted to take it on the road and like cuddle with it and like have it look the same i think there's some there's something to be there's an industry for that well you know what i think could be a great industry you make it a train but you don't say it's his dick i'd love a train i know yeah yeah good target uh no but no but like make don't make it so obvious it's a dick but you know it's his dick yeah you know what i mean okay but i want it to be it's a dick, but you know it's his dick. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Okay, but I want it to be the same color, but I want it to have a smiley face. All right, add wheels to it. Okay, so this is from white people Twitter, and it's just a tweet from a girl named Meg Monroe, and it says, imagine if a woman had to orgasm in order to get pregnant by a man. There would be like 11 people in the world. Wait, wait, oh, a woman had to, okay, yeah. Yeah, like in order to make a baby, a woman had to orgasm.

Just to say that there would be 11 people is such a funny number. Yeah, it's a good number. It really made me LOL. And then this is from No Stupid Questions. It also was reposted in the subreddit Suspiciously Specific, which is one of my favorite subreddits.

Final thought. So they say, can cum accumulate in the sink drain? Let's say hypothetically someone in our household came into the sink every day for the past two months. Would the cum gather up in the bottom somewhere? Let's also say hypothetically some workers were to

perform maintenance on the sink. Would they suspect anything? I just love it! Keep going. Would they suspect anything? I just love it. Okay. Keep going. Is it more hypothetical? No. I love a hypothetical when it's about you.

And I think it would. It would definitely clog up. You think so? Yeah. Have you ever come in a jacuzzi? A guy come in a jacuzzi? It doesn't go anywhere. It just turns into like weird.

You came in a jacuzzi? Who hasn't? I just turns into like no like you came in a jacuzzi who hasn't i think most of our listeners or a bathtub well i've never i don't have come like men come yeah well i've come in a bathtub yeah and it just it just flows coagulated island yeah it turns into those like dinosaur things okay here's a funny response people on reddit are so fucking funny like usually the top response that's daniel berson from um the alabama boys episode he's a huge bestie now and he's getting into reddit because of my obsession with reddit and he was like do i need to just do it i'm like yes it's oh it's the funniest people commenting on the funniest stuff because all the top comments are like the funniest ones and someone said it's better to come in the sink than to sink in the come that's true that's a funny line yeah okay so um and today i i am obsessed with jeff goldblum

right now obsessed love him so much never really was like a huge fan taylor from the podcast last week or yeah um the thief two weeks taylor the thief the hobo thief she was always in love with jeff goldblum like in love with him in high school. And I never understood it, but he is on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast last week. And it is such a, he is so endearing. He is so lovely. And so this is a tweet from Chris Kelly,

who was actually on our show, Noah, You Up. He was promoting, what's the show where that little boy becomes a star and his two siblings are like less famous and it's on,

I think it's on HBO Max now. Oh yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. I won't remember it but he's the younger boy.

It's two people from SNL wrote this show about and Molly Shannon plays the boy's mom and his name is Chase Dreams on the show. Oh, the other two.

It's called The Other Two. The Other Two. Okay, yes. Because it's the other two siblings. So anyway, this is Chris Kelly. This is his Twitter. This is from him. And this is from the subreddit Made Me Smile.

And it says, someone once introduced Jeff Goldblum to me at a party by saying, this is Chris Kelly. And he exclaimed, oh my God, of course. I couldn't believe it. He knew who I was. Then he proceeded to say, my God, god of course to every person he was introduced to I love Jeff Goldblum that made me happy because Jeff isn't

one of these Hollywood people being like nice to see you which if you don't know in Hollywood New York or in show business it is a well known thing that instead of saying nice to meet you you say nice to see you because it affords you the ability that maybe you've met this person before and you can get away with saying nice to

see you yeah and so when someone says nice to see you it usually means i don't know who you are and i may have met you before but i'm too scared to say i always say nice to meet you and because i don't and i did this to larry david i said nice to meet you once even though we've met before and he goes we've met before and i was humiliated because I was like I assumed you wouldn't remember and I didn't want to do the nice to see you thing to make you feel weird I also did this to Nick Offerman I said nice to meet you and he was like I did your show once and I was like I didn't expect you to remember me I don't I what it's not trying to think what else you could say so anyway I guess to see you but I think Jeff Goldblum doesn't go that route and he just goes, my God, of course.

And that's not insincere. It's not insincere. He's just saying, my God, of course. It sounds a little sarcastic to me. No, if you listen to him on comedy, he sounds like a love bug. My God, of course. It does sound like Sarah Lena, my good friend.

And then I saved a, okay. And then I saved a... Okay, then I guess that's all we have for today. Where did bedbugs live before bedbugs were invented? Someone just obviously wrote a funny joke. They weren't invented. It's called No Stupid Questions. They said, apparently, they fed on bats and birds before humans, but they predate bats by 30 million years,

so there must have been another mysterious host who went extinct or something that leads me to a joke i made in phoenix when i was about to go on stage in phoenix i looked up some interesting facts and one of them was that phoenix um was founded on a uh wait wait i fuck i wrote it down what phoenix is a the is a dry archaic uh shallow bed of like in infertile ground or something and i was like oh like the way it was described it sounded exactly like my uterus and i said something like that's what i heard on my pap smear gotta laugh then i said phoenix is 180 billion years old the ground that we are on i I think that's when Alice Cooper moved here. That was a joke that Noah gave me.

Because Alice Cooper is someone who is famous that lives in Phoenix. And he wasn't born there, but I had to make a joke about him living there because everyone in Phoenix knows he lives there.

I didn't know that. I would have not known that. In my interesting facts that I looked up, it wasn't in there. But then Noah backstage was like, I think Alice Cooper lives here. She didn't even say think.

She just said, Alice Cooper lives here. And he's in menses a lot of money and blah blah and i looked it up and it was true so i made a joke and it was good bed bugs come on bed bugs they call them the house thugs i've never met one because i'm no slug i'm always moving fast my dick gets attached but it never is wait a second you've never met one because I'm no slug I'm always moving fast My dick gets attached But it never is Wait a second You've never met one

Do you remember the time that you called me? It was the scaredest I've ever heard you This is a wrap I know but the besties need to hear How adorable this was But this is a wrap though Andrew thought he got bed bugs and gave it to me Because he was staying at my place

But I'm rapping still This is an interlude to the rap You know how sometimes do a little sketch i'm just going underneath is it still going yeah okay i'm rapping so andrew so one time andrew no we had a bed bug my my roommate jen had a bed bug scare scare we got a dog he came in he said there were no bed bugs here i don't even know if this was that was legit then we got another mascot so i in he said there were no bed bugs here i don't even know if this was that was legit then we got another mascot so i was scared but my room was far away from her so i was very nervous i i was watching your dog for maybe like the second time i've ever met yeah we were new friends but we were already like close and he called me up like man so scared i mean andrew

gets scared to ask me if he can leave early from a venue to go back to the hotel. Like, you can tell there's been, like, a lot of thought before he, like, gets the courage to be like. So based on this, he's, like, presenting a five-paragraph essay of, like, can I just leave? And I'm like, yes, you can go. But Andrew gets scared of me because I'm a scary person. And you love a hang. And I love a hang. And he's taking that from me.

And we know that. So luckily Noah was there to fill in. I knew knew that that's why i was able to leave well thanks no okay it wasn't why you were able to leave i would have let you leave anyway but um you're right that was nice to consider but he was so scared to tell me and he called me and was like i thought you were gonna say i fucked your fucked your dog. Or like, I. Well, that was the second thing I would have said. Yeah. This was just the second week. But you were just getting me ready.

But you told me about the bedbugs. And sometimes it's weird. Nikki Glaser can overreact about having the word goddamn taken out of a trailer. But sometimes I get my phone stolen out of my hand. Or someone tells me I might have bedbugs. And my reaction is like negative I couldn't believe it

it's almost like I'm in a meditative state and I'm just like okay I was like bed bugs I said bed bugs because people in New York I thought you said bad bugs bunny and it was like one of those bugs bunnies with an attitude on a t-shirt.

Yeah. Well, Bed Bugs was like, you know when people go, how did you get COVID? Who gave you COVID? That's what Bed Bugs was before COVID in New York City. You know what? For some reason, I think that these things that are catastrophic to other people, getting your phone stolen out of your hand by a 12-year-old sprinting away, or getting bed bugs, or getting COVID, i already know

so much of like the guilt that or the um that's already leading that like all the stuff that's gonna it's i only get sideswiped by things that are unexpected and i think the things that are expected and talked about and especially the ones that carry so much guilt for no reason like you didn't want bed bugs no one wants to get covid no one wants to give covid to someone like i just want to immediately take that away from them because i you know i had a i had a a guy once that i was dating look through my phone when i was not there because he didn't trust me about something and i when i caught him i was i caught him and i was like my first thought and i hope that people do this sometimes and i need to do a better job of it was if i caught him and I was like, my first thought and I hope that people do this sometimes and I need to do

a better job of it was, if I did this and got caught, how would I want that person to treat me? Because this person didn't, is not a bad person. They were feeling insecure. They didn't want to look through my phone. No one wants to do that. Were you dating them? Yeah, we were like dating and they were just

not trusting me and they were someone that, you know, I would have never thought would look through my phone ever in a million years. Like really out of character. How did you catch them? I had left my phone to go do something on a table that they were at. And then I came back and there was a text message up to a conversation between me and a guy that I knew this guy suspected me of hooking up with. And the truth was that guy, I hadn't talked to him in like a year. And then somehow this

phone went off. But when I was on my walk my alarm went off. That's what happened. He was shutting off my alarm. And I remember being on my walk being like, I wonder if this person would ever go through my phone. Because I left it. And then I got back and I saw it and I confronted him and I go, hey, I have not talked to this

person in a year. And the text message was up. Did you go through my phone? And he immediately admitted to it. And he was so guilty, so embarrassed and which I knew I would be too if I got caught. And I'm absolutely capable of doing something like this in a moment where I'm feeling insecure or whatever. And I just I remember he had to go do some like go to work and do something like that was going to take a lot of

focus. And he was stressed out that I was going to break up with him or whatever. And that, that I hadn't decided yet based on like what would it would be. But I remember saying to him, nothing you're going to think about at work today will change the result of what happened.

I, I don't, don't worry about this. We're be okay which is true whether we break up or not we're gonna be okay we're gonna get through this i am not i i want to talk about it later i'm not mad at you i'm a little disappointed but i understand why this happened please go to work and do not be don't let this go because he was worried about something at work that day and i'm like please don't let this affect your audition because of this, like put it into that, you know?

And I just remember feeling really good about that because I was like, hopefully someone will bestow this on me when I do something like check someone's phone, you know, or something that I get caught doing that is so embarrassing because even though I have never gone through someone's phone without them knowing, I'm definitely capable of it. I I just know that I think we're all capable of your your alarm went off that's probably that dragged him to the phone that's why he was shutting it off and then he was like yeah that's what yeah I mean it's not but it's not like I was asking for it because my alarm went off like he shouldn't have done it what was your phone wearing well my alarm was I'm cheating on you I'm cheating on you look in my, I'm cheating on you. I'm cheating on you.

Look at my phone. I'm cheating on you. So maybe I was asking for it. That's a great Robin song. All right, we got to go. Thank you so much for letting us go late. Noah, I love you so much. Thanks for listening to the show.

Don't be cut. And Jake. Jake Bug. I was going to try to do something about the guitar teacher. Man, I owe him. That guy's a singer, Jake Bug. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial

hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances

so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show

Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You are cordially invited to...

The Hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world.

Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms, but not your mommy.

Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms, Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to

find your podcast.