The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #246 Cigarette's Butts

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

Nikki is back on that Diet Coke sauce. She had so much fun on Conan Needs A Friend but was secretly second guessing herself. Nikki's inner voice is a 7th grade boy and Andrew gets nervous around Frat guys. It's hard to get a group together but Nikki has a trip planned with her girlfriends. Just in time for the premiere of FBoy Island season 2 on HBO Max, Nikki finds a headline that she really likes about it. They play The Blankest Thing I've Ever Done and reveal their "couhlest" moments!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki.

Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. It is Wednesday. I'm in sunny Los Angeles. I don't know what it's like outside because I got the blackout curtains drawn. Just kidding. I went outside already to get a Diet Coke. I'm back on the sauce. And you know what I got I found about Diet Cokes is that if I drink them from cans, my mouth starts getting like sores in it.

It is abrasive to my mouth. But bottles, plastic bottles, which are terrible, that give sores to the planet, better for my mouth. More refreshing. I like a Diet Coke out of a bottle. What do you guys prefer your sodas out of?

Some people are like, I love the Burger King on I-70 in Olive. The fountain. People love a fountain soda from specific places found soda chick-fil-a diet coke good ice ice is very important well it always has the ice it has the same ice yeah it's good ice it's crushed oh gotcha i thought you were saying like i i get there chick-fil-a i get the good ice. It's crushed. Oh, gotcha. I thought you were saying, like, I get their Chick-fil-A. I get the good ice. Like, as opposed to what? Yes.

They have levels of ice. Like, the crushed, is it like the little, almost like little hacky sacks of it? Like, they're like little balls? Or is it, like, shaved? They're ballish-ish. They're kind of in the middle. And for some reason crushed ice is a little whiter less clear than regular ice i find which which is interesting i used to have a

friend whose dad became obsessed with making ice completely clear and he would like check on his ice what i gotta ask him about that i remember his dad was obsessed. He was like, my dad's kind of losing it. He loves making his ice clear. There's a certain way to do it where your ice cubes will be completely clear, and there's no haziness in them. I guess the haziness is like air. Who knows? I'm not a scientist.

But I do like a crushed ice. He drank a lot of water and then pissed in an ice tray. That's how you get it perfectly clear. Perfectly clear. Man, I love that my piss is clear. Oh, yeah. No beets. No asparagus.

No B12. Dude, one time I had stomach aches from taking mood enhancers. I think I told you that Sammy stuff. Oh, yeah. Sammy. It hurt my stomach so bad. I started taking Pepto Bismol and then I started shitting black and then I assumed I had stomach cancer from the Sammy,

but I didn't know that Pepto Bismol makes your shit black. So I didn't know that either. I don't think that's a common thing. Really? Isn't it weird? You could eat marshmallows all day, like only marshmallows all day, and it will still come out looking like poop. You can eat only white, like the most crisp white, like jicama, marshmallows, and I don't know. What's other? Cool whip. Cauliflower. Cauliflower.

Just pure white foods, like crackers. What are some some other i'm trying to think of white people foods um uh kind bars and it'll just come out looking uh like poop yesterday kirsten wrote to me and was like oh man i was not feeling good all day and all i could think about i forget if we talked about it on this podcast but when you have a giant shit in you and it's just like nothing but a little bit of skin is keeping that from everyone else in that Lululemon. It's so gross when you have poop in you. People literally call it a turtle head poking out.

It's already out and people are still walking around. It's so much in you yesterday i i like i you know went after i had a long day of podcasting and i was like oh my god i did conan's podcast and marin's podcast with john wayne levels of shit in me like like impact like it was i feel like you it was a i was almost there with a partner. Like we were doing a, like it was, they should have had an extra mic for it. I love the idea of you having.

I was so stopped up. I didn't feel it though. I didn't know. What's that thing when you have a hoedown where it's just you and the shit and you're like making my day. Grab your partner round and round. I was thinking more,

you got your hand on your six shooter and this shit is across the 10 feet away from you. I didn't know that I was constipated, though. That's the problem with constipation. I'll just be a cranky little baby and not know that there's a lot of stuff inside me that needs to get out that is not ready to come out. I hate when you can't. Why can't you just poop? Why does your body hold on to it?

I know it's probably dehydration let me as i chug a diet coke let me get a smart water in me doing conan in person how did that feel compared to because you've you've you've done like what four like three things with him via zoom over covid and then you've done a show no i did a show twice over zoom and then i did his i've done this podcast in person before oh i didn't know you did but this is in a new studio and this is after i have become a huge fan of his podcast like it meant as much to me as like doing his tv show when i first did it you know like in terms of like how much i listened to like i used to watch late night with conan o'brien every single night from junior year of high school until like senior year of college like it was just a ritual

every night to watch it and so it was a big deal to me to do it and then this podcast like his podcast I listen to all the time they're like the way that people feel about us as like their friends is exactly the way i feel about gorley sona and conan like i i just love it's just such it's such a good podcast not to like talk about other podcasts but i mean it's so fucking good it's so funny it's if you like ours you will like theirs it's very similar friend conan needs a friend conan o'brien needs a friend how did it feel being in a new was the studio more uh they put way more money into it did it feel more like professional or was it better or yeah i mean it was like a house it's like you walk into a house and it's like um someone a really nice girl

met me outside so excited that you're here i walk up the stairs there's like a basket with all these snacks conan is at the top of the stairs there's people like there's all his producers who i recognize from doing the show a billion times like in it used to be like a we work space not really a we work but like a women's we work so it's like this it almost looks like it could have been a um a domestic abuse shelter for women like it's a house but it's like nice and it's like uh has a nice kitchen and then this like living space where there's like tables and so there's producers working and like writers and then there is his studio that we went to we just walked to a studio and then just started potting and just sat down and you have to say you know like i'm nikki glazer and i feel and then it's like blank about being conan robin's friend

and then you fill in the blank and then the podcast just starts. And it's, uh, can you say what is really fun? Did you change it? Yes. Last time I said overwhelmed. And this time I said chill because it's an inside joke for people who listen to the podcast. Um, that I,

but I really struggled with it. I was going to say snuck because that would also be an inside joke because one time Jennifer Garner was on Conan show and he said something like, and then you snuck over here and she goes, snuck isn't a word, Conan. You should know that you went to Harvard and he's like, he's a little miffed. And then they get out the dictionary and he looks it up and he's like, snuck. It is in the dictionary. She felt really stupid. And so I was brainstorming about what to say, but it was a, you know, I'm really struggling to, I, I honestly would like to like

not talk about my appearance on conan because i am going through the thing i always go through after conan um appearances which is man i could have been so much funnier i was just so nervous not nervous but i'm just so like i'm like it's weird what my brain does when i'm like relaxed and i'm around people who i know are just like tickled at everything i say i can be really funny like when i'm on stage i can be really funny when like people and conan thinks i'm funny sona thinks i'm funny gorley is a fan i just couldn't i was just too in my head of like, be present, listen to what he's saying, try to get in on the laughs, like, and also be interesting. Don't be too, like, I just feel like I always talk about my low self-esteem, especially because like Conan has it too. And I just feel very connected to him in that way of like feeling like an imposter.

And it's insane to me that Conan O'Brien, who is my number one, thinks that he's not good enough sometimes. And he's very open about that. And I always feel like I, whenever I talk about my low self-esteem on like literally every podcast and, and usually I'm talking about how I like have overcome it or how I'm dealing with it. People tend to like, feel sorry for me or think that I have like that I'm struggling all the time, but, and not that he did or anything, but a lot of times, every time I leave Conan,

whether I'm doing his TV show or his podcast, he always takes a moment afterwards to be like, Hey, like you can call me if you ever need to. Like I'm, I'm here for you. Like I, like,

I really want you to like get the help that you need and i always feel like what am i saying that's making people think i'm like because i'm doing all right like i really am well you went into it saying i feel chill about being kohan o'brien's friend and then by the end of it he's like i'll get you help i I'll get you help. I know. But they did say, so I said chill because there was one podcast where Matt and Sona, Matt is like Noah and Sona is like you.

And they all, Matt and Sona are always talking about, they're always just teasing Conan because he's so uptight and a perfectionist and they're kind of chill. Kona will like, you know, do edibles. And Matt's just like an easygoing guy. And they're like, we're so chill. And he's like, I could be chill.

And they're like, no, you can't. So they started doing these episodes where they have no guest on where it's just two summers ago. You guys got if you want to just step into the conan o'brien universe um obviously i would recommend the kevin nealon episode is the funniest podcast besides my own that i will you will ever listen to i sent it to andrew to listen to wasn't it just insanely good i loved it i loved it i mean so funny don't listen to it before you listen to my episode of conan you will be sorely disappointed in me because kevin nealon is so goddamn funny It's just top to bottom. Don't skip the first part. But anyway, um, they give him shit about not being chill. And so they came up with this thing that they were doing these like extra episodes during COVID. Uh, maybe when they, you know, they were just trying to make more ad

revenue, make more episodes, but thank God for it because they did this segment um based on that conversation called um conan o'brien and uh like it's like something about the in the chill chums and they call them themselves like the chill chums and so i said i was like really chill and the truth is i'm not chill about being conan o'brien's friend at all i'm extremely anxious about it and um but it is weird like Like, and not even just Conan, like anytime I do a podcast, I even went and did Marin and like, it's,

uh, there's still in his garage. He's in a, um, he's in a, uh, a guest house kind of situation. He's moved since that garage.

And so it was a new, I had done his podcast when he was at his old place, but, and the old place I remember being like Barack Obama has been in been in here and he was like yeah he sat right there um and then uh yeah he let me like drink from the water bottle barack drank from i'm just kidding but i would have loved to do that i wish he would have kept it i assume he kept whatever water bottle um ruin the seat yeah i mean you're so into barck oh my god i'm so horny for brock um but even marin like i can just tell there's always like this like

poor nikki thing and i and i want to just say i think it might be because other people aren't as honest about having low self-esteem and struggling with things as i am and so people think that me sharing that I have this stuff, which we all have other people just don't share it as openly that people think it's either a cry for help or that because it's so rarely shared, she's clearly struggling more than any of us. When really I just have less of the walls that other people have. It's not that I'm struggling any more than anyone else. I just don't censor myself about it which i'm so grateful like thank god for people that pick up on people asking for help and sometimes i have

done cries for help of being like i'm gonna shave my head or whatever and like wanted people to be concerned but you think i hate why do you think you pick uh yeah why do you feel like because i've done similar similar things when i go on podcasts where maybe i'll get nervous or i'll want not people to like me more but like i'll share more where i feel like oh this will get to people this will rather than just like a mundane conversation of like next you know we've just joked about ice cream for 20 minutes like but but that could be great that is my superpower yeah i feel like and that's where i that's where i'm in the clutch is being open emotionally like i feel yes i'm funny yes i

could talk about ice cream and riff conan though he's he's a riff god like i no matter what i will never touch his level of riffing and i would even say gorley and sona like are on his level like they are so fucking funny and like have learned from him and they just had like this great rapport I want I it's not like I intentionally go to it I think that that's the one thing I can do that other people can't do is get really real really fast and I think sometimes obviously it throws people and it makes people maybe a little bit uncomfortable but I feel like if I can't be I could not be my funniest yesterday I just couldn't there I was not in my funny zone it just wasn't gonna happen for me so why not lean into the thing that I know I you know even if I'm nervous I can always kind of nail I can do better when I'm nervous at revealing uh personal things and so

i think that sometimes it could come off and i just for some reason conan brings it out of me because conan is someone that i projected so much perfection onto for so long and and just admire so much and would like you know i would probably kick marion to even even have two ounces as much, you know, comedic talent as Conan from my estimation of like how I see myself compared to him. And I know that people will be like, no,

you guys are. But to me, I would do, he's a God to me in terms of comedy. And so I think that when I found out from watching his, from listening to him on his podcast, So I think that when I found out from watching his, from listening to him on his podcast, and then also his documentary, I Can't Stop or I'll Die,

I think it's called something like that. I learned that like, oh my God, we're really similar. And so I always want to talk to him about that because if I can find out that Conan is like me in that way, that he doubts himself, then maybe i'm wrong about myself when i doubt myself like uh it also makes me feel good you know i i know that's i think why i get into that but i'm i well no i think there's something about sharing sharing not just for you but then getting someone else to share some of their insecurities which then will get their

fan base to actually relate to them even more because usually conan's the one interviewing like he's the one asking the questions it's gonna be it would be kind of weird if the interviewer was like okay but you know i get sad sometimes okay are you didn't even ask a question yet you know what i mean like you're allowing him to open up where maybe he wanted to stuff yeah with like yeah asking him questions i do have to say though i have this weird thing with like podcasting now or going on other people's shows where i just think everyone hates me like the the the the tone I all I have to overcome people hating me already because they think I'm too dirty or they think they think I'm all she does is share about her eating disorder or all she does is talk about her low self-esteem like and it's weird that I would even go into that but I just I mean I know the audience listening to this show right now cannot relate to that in any way because you guys really like me and it feels weird that I would even go into that, but I just, I mean, I know the audience listening to this show right now cannot relate to that in

any way. Cause you guys really like me and it feels amazing, but I just feel like, I don't know. I was talking to, I went to a coffee with Taylor Tomlinson yesterday. It was so much fun. And I was talking about someone recently asked me like, who do you think are worse for female comics, other female comics or male comics and i was thinking about that i think that what was my point gonna be with this that i feel like i feel like every man like most men that are kind of like your basic man that might not be an outright feminist not that they're like a bad person.

They just haven't like, they think maybe feminism is like icky. They allow themselves to like one woman at a time, like that they, you know, that they don't want to fuck. And I would like to be liked as a woman who they don't want to fuck. And they don't,

you either like Taylor Tomlinson, like they, to prove that they're not a total misogynist. They like one woman to go see, but I think Taylor's funny. So I'm not, but when I, so when I say Whitney and Nikki and Eliza and Amy suck, but I'm, that's not because they're women. I like Taylor or I like Nikki. So when I say all those other women stuff, and I feel like I'm always trying to win over that

guy and it's stupid because that guy is a sad person and but there's always this competition I think with with men with these like kind of guy characters and Conan's podcast does not have that kind of listeners they're actually more like our listeners for sure but I just feel like um and it's again here I'm back at my low self-esteem. This is like the voice that I'm trying to rewrite the thing I believe about myself and trying to disprove it. I'm trying to win over these guys who are actually the voice inside my head that is like, you're not good enough. Everyone else is better than you. And if I win over those guys then maybe i i'm wrong about myself so it really comes down to what i believe about myself if that makes any sense no it does and i i think about

that as well with those you know certain guy comedians or whatever and i think a lot of it has to do with like you have to be almost a certain kind of comedian or be a certain way to get that approval that you're searching for and then you kind of disregard people that maybe you like their comedy more but they're not they don't have as many they're you know they're not as famous or whatever and then i don't know i feel like there's a line between me wanting to impress someone just because they're famous just because it could help you as opposed to just being true to yourself i'm not trying to get help i'm not i'm not just saying for me for me ticket sales yeah i'm just saying for me like that's how i where it comes from where where it's like

approval i don't know you don't think like let's go to break and finish this up when we get back so catch john stewart back in action on the Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think the difference here in what we're talking about is I want to win over men who have the mentality of a seventh grade boy. Something happened to me in middle school where I that is when I decided that like boys don't like me. I'll never be cool. These kind of guys decide what's cool. The guys wearing JNCOs and the guys that make fun of everyone. I have to stay quiet and like dormant so that they don't make fun of me. And if they do notice me,

I want to be like the one girl that they're like, Nikki's cool, she can hang out with us. Cause I wanted to hang out with, I wanted to hang out with the boys, not because I wanted to have sex with the boys or blow the boys. I wanted to be friends with them because I grew up, you know,

with my best friend was a boy. And then suddenly I am in school and I have no guy friends because you're, you either are a girl that they like romantically, or you're like a I didn't want to be a tomboy, necessarily. But I was just scared of boys and their judgment and how mean they could be. And I didn't want any of that, even though I wanted to hang out with them and also be mean with them. Like I have a mean streak. I love making fun of people, but I think I still am trying to win over seventh grade boys, literally like seventh grade to 11th grade boys that are just assholes,

judgmental of everything. So insecure. All they want is to like get their dick sucked and anything that, that won't out like facilitate that they like they hate. They're trying to be cool. Those poor boys, they're struggling so much, but I'm still seeking that approval. The thing is, I think

by senior year, there is a different kind of anger. I don't really care about winning over Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, but there's something about these kind of angsty boys. You said it in the last segment though. I think that like, you are definitely, yeah, like you, you, you've pinpointed where it's come from. And also in the last segment,

you've had this epiphany that you're really just competing with yourself. It's that inner voice. Yes. And it's, it's rooted in that. My voice is a seventh grade boy. Yeah. And if I win them over, my voice will shut up and allow me to hang out with it. Now, one thing that I want to say in addition to this is that the thing is so many people, including myself, like every time I I've said this before, but like a big epiphany I had in therapy one time was like telling my therapist, I'm scared to go on dates. I was about to go on a date. And she's like, what's your biggest fear?

And I'm like, that they are going to sexually advance on me. I'm going to reject them. And then they're going to say, I didn't want you anyway. You're fat. You're old. You're ugly. And they're going to do the mean thing that men do when they're rejected. A lot of times, FBoy Island season two, check it out.

We have a moment like that on the show that to me was my worst fucking nightmare if it happened to me but happened to grow on the show where a guy gets rejected and then lashes out like i didn't want you anyway fuck it you know that's always my fear and my therapist goes that is the fear of like a girl who's dealing with 15 year old boys like where what are you talking about? Like men don't do that. Like if you don't want to have sex with a guy, he's not going to call you ugly. And I'm like, but I just, that's the fear. Like, I know that it's rare, but there's, I can't get over that. I know that an air shows planes don't crash, but I'm never going to go to an air

show. Even if the, cause there's is a chance it could happen. And she was like, you are stuck in seventh to 11th grade. You're stuck somewhere in there. And so what I'm saying that I want to win over these seventh to 11th grade boys, I'm not marketing my comedy to those boys. I don't care about, you know, I, but I, in a way I am because guess who's stuck at that age too. Every man, my age, every man, my everyone I'm stuck at 14 years old. Have you ever looked at like girls? I want you to do this guys. I want you to do this when your girlfriend or your boyfriend is acting in the way that you are most annoyed by that, like the side of themselves that comes out, shrink their body down to like a smaller size, like if you can in your head, and just blur your eyes

and picture that person at different ages and see which one it fits. Because a lot of times when I am being my most like, I don't even want to go like, and I'm not gonna do it. And I'm like throwing a little tantrum that I like will throw and be like, I don't even care. I don't even want to like, my body movements, everything, it's like I'm mimicking a 13-year-old girl. So we all still have these- But if your boyfriend gets more turned on by that, that could be an issue. Listen, sometimes I role play it

and I slam my door and say, I hate you, mom! And then he goes down on me. No, this is speaking a lot to shit that I go through now. I was friends with a lot of girls. I was like that guy that was friends with every girl. I never hooked up with them. I was always just friends with them.

And it actually hurt me with my guy group, like the cool guys. I had one cool guy that liked me. And then forever I tried to get these guys to like me. And then around junior, senior year, I smoked a little weed. I listened to a little fish. And I stopped chasing it and it changed and now i'm like back to like i'm literally like back to square one but i stopped chasing the campus of university of indiana on scooters we were on like little lime scooters years ago when we were first working together. That was our first scooter ride. That was our first Lime scooter ride.

Andrew got so nervous. Not when we passed by girls, you know, college girls. Not when we passed by people our age. When we passed by freshmen, sophomore, junior guys in the front lawns at frat parties. He was so scared of what other guys thought of him whereas i like

that would be this yeah i would be i guess i i don't care what any college age people think of me really anymore but i'm scared of what people think of me who are stuck in that age people my age are stuck there so like i pursue the approval of men who act like middle schoolers like all the guys that i go why do i even fucking care what this and i get approval of fraternity guys that act like well their age yeah yeah the best thing you said to me you go they're not even you're so old that they're not thinking of you as whether you're cool or not. You're just an old man on campus. Yes. You're not anything.

O-M-O-C. Yeah, it was like we forget. Sometimes I try to like when I was at the Wilco Festival, I was trying to befriend Glenn Kotsche and I think Jon Stewart, the two band members. Their daughters were there. They're like 13 and 14 14 and they were adorable girls. I wanted nothing more than to hang out with these girls and just like talk about what they care about, like hear what they have to say about boys and like not like relate to them, but and not even like coach them or kind of like mentor them.

I just wanted to like hear what little girls are talking about because I miss being that age so bad. And I realized, I mean, it didn't even cross my mind that they would think of me as anything more than just an old woman. But, um, even I did it with Bert Kreiser's daughters when they were on tour. Like I was with Mark Norman and Shane Gillis and big J Oakerson. And as much fun as I was having with those guys, the second Bert's daughters arrived on the scene who are 18 and I think 16, was like and they brought their two friends with them that are of the same age these four girls i was like guys can you help me like pick out my outfit like should i wear these shoes or like i was like dying for not even their approval i just wanted to like hang with them like i still i desperately i can't wait for poppy and Arlo to like get older because I just, I love talking to younger kids, but you, it is creepy when you try to like, and you never want to be the one that they're like, God, thank God she's gone.

That's true too. I got paired up with a father and son and golf the other day. Cause I get rain. Cause I go out and play by myself and I don't know what I do. Cause I think I, I coached lacrosse in middle school so I like I connect to younger kids like I have an immaturity to me but I do like like this kid could have been really can be very good at golf and I realize his dad is a little passive and he probably doesn't get like dude if you work on this you could like you really, God. How much is just a little encouragement like that?

That's all it takes to send you in a completely different direction. Dude, so I do it to this kid. Someone just being like, you're good at this. I go, your dad sucks. Your dad's a loser. But I see something in you. That's why I said no. It's been three weeks.

And I'm at the course the other day. And I'm driving driving and i just hear andrew andrew yo is that you is that you yo it's me ben it's ben and i was like who the fuck is ben and then i look closer and i'm like oh it's the fucking teenager that like you say something to his dad when you like that you overheard when you were leaving uh that was a different that was another uncle and nephew. That was a different pair of kids. And he was like, I like that guy.

That was really fun. They go, they go. I couldn't imagine being paired up with two better guys, Uncle Ray or whatever. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know. But it was just like, I get what you're saying about like, it's just young energy. There's something that it doesn't feel as tainted as some older people that I know. it was just like i i get what you're saying about like getting like it's just young energy there's something that it doesn't feel as tainted as some older people that i know where i just remember

being that age and and the freedom and the fun and i just i love and i love like opening their minds a little bit or saying something that'll make them give them some material for their friend group forever of like oh something cool or something funny or just something weird that i say like nothing like inappropriate um i just miss being a young teenage girl so bad which is why i'm looking so forward to this girl's trip that i'm going on noah's going on it it's 10 girls in the hamptons next weekend yeah who will survive who will you said it like it was a log line like it really does sound like it yeah it's next it's not this weekend but it's next weekend in the hamptons at

my friend sarah lena's house um and it's gonna be 10 of us and my sister's going my you know best friends from grade school college and adulthood all convening in one place and it's going to be so it's going to be like we're in seventh grade again i feel like this is the trip that you wanted last year i remember when we got to tulum and you're like this is not what i envisioned i want us all in one house. I'm so mad about that. I just want to like hang out on the couch, watch movies, talk, blankets, all that stuff. That's like what I see for that weekend. Not pay a dime because Sarah Lena lives there. I mean, it's so funny. We were looking for Airbnbs for this when I was like in the early stages of planning.

Like, what's a house that could support 10 to 12 girls? And it's costly, but I was willing to do it. And then Sarah Lena, she lives in the Hamptons in this gorgeous house. And I was like, how many people does your house bed? And she is so generous. Like she would like, let me move in. Like if I wanted to, like, she's just like, Oh girls, totally. You can have it. You can just have the house. I'll just go live in the shack. Like she's so, so generous. And, um, but she was like, yeah,

it, I mean, it's, it bet like 10 people. She has a house that can have 10 people stay in it. And they have to, I mean, it's wild,

but this is just there for the taking. I'm so, um, grateful for it. It's going to be fun. Like next, like six months from now, you're like,

so you think we can do a girl's trip again at your place saralina she'd probably be like sure i mean i'm giving birth uh that tuesday but yeah in a water birth out of the way yeah you know what i'll do it in the shallow end i'll have the baby in the shallow end you guys keep diving it is funny though when you get something like that where like you um use someone's house and then it's like five later you're like okay maybe but she is different she is the type to not think that you're overstaying baby that she had in i think april and um she has obviously a husband but she also has an apartment in the city and i I was like, Hey, listen, if we did your house and she's like, Oh my God, of course

we can do my house. Are you kidding me? And she was like, are you okay with my house? I'm like, are you, it's like so nice. I mean, it would be like $15,000 a night rental. I'm not joking. You like these places in East Hampton. Gorgeous.

Yes. Insane. During this, this weekend in July. And, um, and she's like, and I go and, you know, you can have her baby Leon. I was like, and you know, I don't know how you want to work out with like Leon being there and like, but we will like give him space. And she goes, Oh hon, no, can he not be there? And I was like, yes, I love you. I love a mom. That's like willing to take three days away from their baby. And it's not the end of the fucking world. She is like good. Like she is not. There's nothing about that that makes me go. Oh, she's it makes me go. She's a good mom. Like she's not obsessive. Like on our group chat, there's like you to beg for a picture of this baby. It's not because she doesn't love him. It's just because she's just not one of these parents that thinks suddenly their baby, despite having lived a life where every single time you see a picture of a baby under six months, it is not interesting.

It's not different than anyone else's baby, unless you like it's your sister's baby or your best friend's baby. No one really cares. She she like it's not that she's like hiding it and being like my friends don't care she just is like not forcing it on us and and we were insatiable for leon content where's the baby going in the city yeah in the city with um the dad and and um uh she has people like you know she's got a fucking house in the hampton she has the help and uh she's got an amazing like um you know uh baby nurse that works with them who's like turned into her best friend and we're all talking about like this needs to be a sitcom because this baby nurse's name is mavis davis who's gonna milk saralina oh that's a good point she she has a uh you know as long as my sister's

coming my sister will forget all of her pumps. And so I'm sure you can find some boys in the Hamptons. Hello. I mean, are you going to just cook out and are you guys going to go out to dinner? Do you think you're going to do like I have a feeling I'm going to do like an Instacart thing or I'm going to have I'm going to have Sarah Lena send someone out and I'll pay for it obviously or like uh to um buy a ton of groceries and like I'll have every girl make a list of like stuff she wants so that it's just there and then we'll also do like Postmates because I'm sure that's a thing down there and we've stayed there before and and had a good time but uh and then I'm sure

one night Kirsten and and there are some girls in our group that like to cook and like make nourishing meals. And so I'm sure we'll do that. But yeah, we're just going to like hang out and go to the beach. But really just hang out and talk and giggle and dance and like listen to music and do meditations and weird like, I don't know, light as a feather, stiff as a board kind uh kind of things i don't know noah do you have any like goals for our trip honestly i have no goals i'm gonna be in the car with carlisle i think for like eight hours driving from jfk to the hamptons and i think it's gonna be so fun no i'm looking forward to it because oh she's looking so fortunate too she's like oh my god i'm gonna drive with noah i'm so glad i'm looking forward to it because oh she's looking so forward to it too she's like oh my god i'm gonna drive with noah i'm so glad i'm with noah on that ride it's gonna be so fun it's

just like it makes me feel so good she's gonna be there i don't know if we're gonna leave together i really hope so like so the car rides are gonna be a separate like adventure yeah so fun exactly so she's like my my travel buddy because our flights are lining up. And I just like I cannot wait. We both rented like we rented a car together. So like we'll have our independence if we want to like pull off the road and all that. And I'm just, you know, like I haven't had really like one on one quality time with Carlisle, except for like one of the walks in Tulum. So it's been a long time and

then i'm also awesome i'm so excited to like how i feel like this is going to sound very strange but i feel like i'm being transported to high school where i get to have like this gaggle of girlfriends that i've never had before i only had like one close friend growing up. And I'm just like so excited because I know everyone's personalities. I've gotten to know each one of your friends separately. And now I get to like be in like the cluster. So I feel really, really good about that. You're at our table at lunch.

And I was never the girl that had like I mean this is the coolest group of girls you'll ever meet or ever know and any bestie listening like if I was your friend you would totally be invited to like if we were like if it was possible I'd have all the girls besties that listen to the show and maybe some of the guys too um you would all be able to sit at our table but But it's true. It's like, it feels so good to me too. Like having this, having, it's not lost on me that it's really hard to accrue a crew like the ones we, like the one we have.

And it makes me so happy that like, it feels selfish to be like, these are all my friends coming together. But I didn't, I made sure to invite all people that get along. And like, it makes me so happy when my friends become friends and like go off on their own and like,

don't need me to be the connective tissue. You know, like I think some girlfriends as I've been, and I've been this girl before that like I'll introduce two friends and then they will become better friends than I am with either of them. And I will get like, wait, no. And I want to control it and be like, no, you come hang out with me. And like it becomes contentious.

How did you let go of that? That's a big thing. I don't ever care about that anymore. Because I just don't question my friend's love for me ever. Like that is the one thing in my life like I question my boyfriend's love even though I shouldn't I question my parents love I question my fans love I question you know my dog's love I don't have to question it's just a parent he doesn't really care for me but for some reason my friends I just that has always been so solid for me and

I can always like lament about other stuff that like other people have that I don't but I I really won the friend lottery uh and I have like since fourth grade when I met Kirsten and it really is about luck if you're a girl that has just like never had friends and never been able to like meet close girlfriends it is nothing other than like like there's nothing wrong with you I i said this on stage about people that have been molested or like been in abusive relationships like you're not different than me just because i haven't been it's just i got lucky that i haven't been hit in a relationship yet and like and and i got lucky that i i met these girls that are cool at a time when

we were all in the same grade. I always think if Kirsten was in a different grade, what would my life look like? If she was in a different class than my fourth grade class, what would it be? So it's just luck. And it's waiting for all of us. If you're a girl out there or a guy out there that struggles to make friends, it's just circumstantial. Yes, there are things you can do to put yourselves in more circumstances to make friends. It's just circumstantial. Yes, there are things you can do to put yourselves in more circumstances to make friends, but there's nothing inherently wrong with you. You might have social anxiety or something that does prevent you from maybe making more connections, but it's not because you're not worthy of being a close friend. Everyone's capable of it, I believe.

It's also hard to get everyone together. I to find a weekend i feel like the older i get well you know an email will go out like hey let's everyone octo leave open october 10th through 20th we'll all get together and then yeah fuck yeah bro can't wait to do it oh my god we're gonna go here we're gonna do this oh my god yeah and then slowly goes hey man i gotta back out because you know davis's recital and i gotta back out because i have a hemorrhoid that wednesday and i gotta back out and next thing you know it's just two guys just being like well i'm still single and uh alone so you want to just want to just come over and watch the football game it's hard to get people together you really know what it is like i knew there were

certain girls in this group of 10 girls that i know bail and i'm i'm one of them that like are prone to saying yes to something and then when it comes up being like no kirsten is not that kirsten will commit she will clear her schedule she'll make it happen so it started out me and and the two people that i know were probably going to be on the fence about whether or not they could go. My sister, she has three kids and a job. And, you know, she just went on a trip to Colorado with me. So getting her to go on this trip. And I just say to them, like, you gotta prioritize this. Like, there's no way you'll regret it i usually will if it's a cost thing i'll be like let me just take care of that so you don't have to worry about that

if that's like i i eliminate anything and i also say if you don't want to go it's totally fine you can bail out at any point if you want but it's going to be so and i won't judge you i don't care i'll buy your ticket and if you fucking don't show up for the ticket, I'm not going to be like, you wasted my money. Like, I just want, like, to give you the opportunity to go if you want to. And I give them, again, we talked about this the other day, the freedom to bail gives people, it, you know, when I, I remember in my relationship when I told Chris, like, I really, like, wouldn't mind. This was early on when we were dating.

Like, I don't mind you, like, hooking up with other girls. Like, if you tell me about it, like, I really like wouldn't mind. This was early on when we were dating. Like, I don't mind you like hooking up with other girls. Like if you tell me about it, like I kind of turned on by it. And he was like, it's so funny. Like as soon as you give me that freedom, like there's no desire for anyone else. Like part of the desire to bail is the fact that you can't get out of it. If you do go, you're locked in. And I always say to Carlisle, like another night when karaoke, I was like, if you come literally, I just take an Uber with me there. I'll pay for us to get there. If you walk in and you want to turn on a dime and leave, I'll get you an Uber out immediately. Like you don't have to stay. You'll never be stuck. I'll give you an aisle seat. Like when we went to go to Broadway show, like I realized some of my friends need that aisle seat. Like

you need an exit plan. You need the freedom to be able to not be judged if you do want to leave. And you need people to just be, be gentle and be very forgiving and, and to, and to just like really reinforce, like you deserve this. This is a once in an opportunity, once in a lifetime opportunity to hang out with girls, to not be with your kids. I know you're going to feel like a bad mom for the weekend, but honestly, you are going to be a better mom because you're going to have friendships that you're nurturing, that your kids need to see you have, and you need to have other things important's hard for me to take time off like i just want to stay in st louis i don't want to travel uh on a weekend i have off i'm going to new york next week for press i'm flying back on wednesday to st louis and then i'm flying back to new york on friday it's so important for me to get st louis time and to be home and i'm leaving again and but you just have to you can't you gotta um carpe to carpe diem. I think I'm going to go to Nashville this weekend to see Rusty. Oh, no.

Rusty. And he's there. He's actually with Jake Owen, the country singer. Oh, he's there visiting him? Yeah, and we're potentially going to play a lot of golf. But it's a five-and-a-half-hour drive. And I talk to him, and I'm like, you know, I don't know. It's kind of a long drive

he's like look i'll let you know what the plans are you come you come last second decision all good and then i'm like i'm already gassing up the car like like his niceness about that of like dude it doesn't fucking matter like i'll see you a month from now or two months from now i'm like okay what yeah it's just uh it's it's just very inviting to people who punish people for like not showing up or bailing like you got really people got to work on letting your friends off the hook when you when they bail and you might not relate to bailing maybe you're someone who's just like I never do that so I just get mad when people do it to me it's not it's like it's never gonna help alleviate the bailing if anything it's gonna

make people stay further from you it's gonna make them not return your call because they know when they do call you there's a there's shit to be had and so you're gonna lose friends if you keep punishing people even though you're justified because this person's shitty and they're bailing like just get into a place of forgiveness i do find sometimes when uh you call that person that will give you shit they they tend to only a lot of them will give you shit the first three sentences and then it's like back to normal they just have to get it out i know but i have to get it out i know but those three sentences sometimes i could get through just to get i know but sometimes those three sentences i don't even want to put up with those.

And I will just not call the person because I don't want three sentences. That is really enough to keep me away from someone for years and ruin an entire friendship. I agree. And there's something wrong with me for that, too. I should let go of that. Hey, look, a sentence a year. A sentence a year. Yeah, exactly.

You want to give me two sentences? I'll wait two years. All right, we'll be back with more show after this. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. all right we're back um it is time for um our wednesday wildcard segment right before we get to it can i just say that i just got sent a uh vanity fair headline about f boy island can i read it please vanity fair tweeted f boy island may be conceptually among the worst of the current dating shows, but as a vehicle for

entertainment, it's a fucking tour de force. Oh, man. That's great. I feel like that's the sentence that we were just talking about in the previous segment, where you let it all out and say something mean, and then you say something

nice. Yes, yes. And you know what? I love a headline like that. It's just like, this thing is terrible. And because it's terrible. Yeah, yeah. It is a terrible show conceptually. F-Boy Island, I mean, we give you that.

They're not saying anything that we are not. Conceptually, it's terrible in the sense that like, there's three girls looking for love, and 15 f boys and 15 are nice guys like that's conceptually like kind of a nightmare it's not anything you'd see in the real world it's funny but it's conceptually what they said among the worst of the current dating shows but you know what that doesn't insult me at all because you know there's a show called is this cake that conceptually is one of the worst things i've ever heard in my life and it was a at all because you know there's a show called is this cake that conceptually is one of the worst things i've ever heard in my life and it was a netflix hit you know like so conceptually i can you can insult me all the time but when you call it a fucking tour de force which

makes me think of uh you know a bike race i fucking i'm so i'm so excited i i like almost cried when i saw this because i read it and i'm like but it was sent to me by elon gale who um is the you know creator of the show and another executive producer and he would never send me something negative so i was just like yes it just makes me feel so he just sends you the first half of that he says oh this is a headline that's it just yeah i went and read the article and it's it's all you know glowing so it will be on hbo max tonight at midnight i believe it's the first three episodes but i don't even know that yet and uh we will be watching watch this weekend uh whatever batch they give us right to max tonight and on monday's episode of the nicki laser podcast we will review f boy island in a new segment we're calling f anals island uh something

like that we are getting to use andrew's idea for my name for my special final honestly conceptually it's the worst name you've i've ever heard but yeah another review came from uh fandom wire that says comedianian Nikki Glaser returns to host the reality competition. She once again proves perfect for the job. She uses her quick wit and incredible humor to poke fun at the absurdity of FBoy Island's premise, while also bringing a genuine perspective to the blossoming relationships. She acts as a Jiminy Cricket of sorts, guiding the three women on their confusing and difficult journey to find love and money.

So that was nice to be compared to a little baby cricket just a little cheap mini i'm just so little it's because i'm little that's why they said that is yeah for sure i'm so little the whole show um that's weird they even got you on camera the camera adds 100 pounds let's get to our yeah i that was one of my favorite friends lines ever was when Monica, they're looking back on old footage from high school and Monica is a lot heavier than she is. And she was like, oh, come on, the camera adds 10 pounds.

And Chandler goes, how many cameras were on you? I thought that was, in sixth grade, I remember being like, that is the funniest joke I've ever heard in my life. Ever, ever. And I still maintain that's one of the best jokes ever. Okay. All right. Let's get to our Wednesdaynesday segment we haven't played it in a while we are playing the blankest thing and today's um question where we answer the mostest thing ever is um what is it the whatest thing we've ever done the cursed the cursed thing we've ever done um i will start us off i think i told andrew this

once on like a car ride it makes me cringe to even think about it but i once used to bring a cigarette on stage when i smoked at sanford and sonsons Comedy Club in Kansas City, Missouri for my open mic set, which was a three minute set. And I brought a lit cigarette. When did you light it? No, it was already lit. That would have been killer if I lit it on stage, but it was already lit. And I brought it on stage and I would definitely light it at a time where i knew i was gonna like be up next like i needed i wanted that cigarette to be a part of my like like i'm so cool and relaxed vibe disgusting so lame definitely knew i was being cooked because i had a crush on a guy that was one of the comedians who i ended up losing my virginity to but i wanted to look cool to him and he didn't even smoke and i know grease

yeah tell me about it stud tell me about it like get to your jokes i gotta know more about this because it's what when did you when did you think to do this like smokers but i still brought it on no but when did you think to do this was I did not like smokers, but I still brought it on stage. No, but when did you think to do this? Was it a one-time thing and then you ran with it? And when did you stop doing it? I probably did it a few times. It was every Tuesday night at Stanford and Sons. It was open mic night.

There were probably like 30 comedians there plus audience. And I think I thought to do it because i saw other comedians at andrew and the whole time people are smoking in the showroom i mean this was like when smoking was indoors so like i was smoking the entire show but it was like very important to me that like i gotta have it on stage with me to look cooler and it does make smoking at the time yeah chappelle still does it and it and it does make him look cooler. You know, you watch Mad Men, you go, there's something to it. But I definitely planned it and needed it because I felt so uncool.

You know, like I couldn't. Yes. I needed something. How did you get over it? How did you, when did you stop doing it? Did you start doing cigars? Chewing gum. Yeah.

Chewing tobacco. Yeah. I wore more patch on stage um i think i just realized how good it was and how dumb it was because really you don't you can take a three minute break from a cigarette like if i was doing an hour set i can imagine if i'm like that big of a smoker i might need a cigarette in the middle of it but a three minute set i i just and you know what i started watching comedians who would like take beers on stage or like their drinks and they would take beers on stage because a beer on stage also makes you look like i'm one of the guys especially kansas city comics used to be like very like everyone's trying to be um just you know like doug stanhope yes yeah like very gritty like kansas city comedy in the early mid aughts or mid 2000,

like early, uh, like 2005 ish filthy. Like that's where I was. It was such a perfect place for me because I was like, yes, finally I can be so dirty. Like everyone was dirty and it was just a dirty club.

It was behind a Hooters and like a part of, uh, like, you know, we drove by it. We drove by it. Now it's like a crossfit and we were like but your cigarettes butts are still there oh they're still there uh i like that you said

god butts i mean they're somewhere some they're somewhere because those things do not biodegrade and i probably threw them on the ground because i was like trying to be care god i but i i remember seeing guys bring beers on stage and realizing how fucking lame it was and and now i even when i see it now i'm always just like yeah like you are doing a 10 minute set you do not need a beer you're only bringing it to like look cool to the audience and then i started when after i quit drinking i just saw people like drinking beers on stage I saw them as weak more than I saw them as cool like I was like oh you need this thing you're so nervous you need this thing to calm down it was like watching someone like use an inhaler on stage like I'm I'm you know like no offense to anyone who has asthma but it's like kind of like a nerdy like I'm I'm

scared kind of thing that i associate i don't really think that of people with asthma i know it's a whole different thing but like there's just something about like you're like a nerd that needs like this assistance to get through this thing it just seems and now i see guys like chug it on stage and i'm like oh you're such an addict like it kind of makes me and i don't want to be judgmental of addicts but i do think it's good now and so i think here's the thing, though. If you're at a comedy show and there's someone with an inhaler on stage, you better heckle heckle that motherfucker. No, no.

You got to really get. Yeah. If someone's vaping on stage, I actually don't mind it because that is so lame that I think that they must be such an addict that I'm like, oh, more power to them for just doing what they want to do. Like I love when people – If you blow out a cloud and you can't see the act out, that's pretty cool. If your cloud is so big it ruined your performance. Don't bring a smoke machine. Like you don't need to set a tone with that. Honestly, I want to bring like a case of beer for a five-minute set

and just like the biggest the biggest a keg and just be like what's up so anyways let me fill up real quick um so the city's cool wait what are you a whore like the other night i was on stage and i needed to call an uber because i was like because i was going to my next set and like i needed it to be there right when i got off stage and so um now i know you can like time ubers and so I don't need to as much but I forgot to do that and so um or you could schedule them ahead of time to show up at a certain time but I didn't do that and so I was on stage and needed to like get an uber and I thought this audience probably thinks I'm being so cool because I'm just like I don't care about you I'm getting an uber like it felt

so lame to be doing anything on stage that makes it seem like you're like just distracted from what you're doing like it's so easy for me like i don't even need like if i'm doing i remember one time i have another set someone do a handstand on stage they were just like so relaxed they were like i'm just gonna do a handstand against the wall and like they're like they stretch or they just do like oh and it's just like stop this performative i'm relaxed bullshit like i can see through it but a lot of times audiences can't see through it because audiences can't see through fucking anything open your eyes comedians are so lame they are all using tricks more confident they are cool they're not cool they're all so

unconfident they all have such low self-esteem stop thinking that these edgy comedians are cool the edge needs to be brought back i can't stand these fucking comedians give me a sorry i just don't like the idea of people getting fans by being like listen no one else can handle this. Can you? Like, it's just, it's a lie. Just be, you're funny. That's all you need to be. But it actually works. So maybe I'm jealous. It does, it works.

It's marketing at the end of the day. And it's good marketing. It's genius marketing. But I'm just saying you as a consumer, when people are telling you they're edgy, you need to be a little uh you know it's so weird when i see someone with fake confidence and i've been i've been known to do it myself it might be where you come out you're a little louder you're in your face it all comes from

insecurity it's all insecurity we all fucking are but i don't like being i don't and maybe i've done it in the past and that's why I'm so grossed out by it. And I have, I just admitted I walked on stage with a fucking cigarette to do a three minute set in 2004 or whatever it was. Yeah. But now do it in a, do it in a hospital waiting room, Nikki. Do it in a, do it in front of a baby dying of lung cancer. Why don't you do that? You fucking pussy.

Man, I can't even touch that concept it's like so edgy that my brain is getting canceled right now for even thinking about it final thought um our coolest thing we gotta do our thing please what should i just do it based off kind of the same kind of idea no i mean like what were you gonna say though was your coolest thing like originally i mean my coolest thing is probably like um things i did with money when i had a lot of money just buying the the truck for fifty thousand dollars cash with big put big ass wheels on it just a month later traded in for a mercedes and i took out seven grand in cash from the bank and bought from my used car dealer jack i came back and i threw the bag of money in his face and i go give me the keys to the sadies and then he gave me the keys it's pretty cool it's pretty cool did you

did you like honestly i felt alive and going to the bank to take out seven grand in cash though just to trade in a truck like it's so insane and then i lost that car i ended up losing like i lost all my money and i ended up having to get that repoed you know like was was was part of it for you though like did you want people obviously did you talk about how much money you paid for it in cash like did was it was a thing to get girls and guys to like you clearly like was it important to you to like let people know how much it was did you leave the sticker on it like did you was there anything the funniest part about it is once i drive it off the lot the windows are tinted there's a sad scared scared little boy driving. Oh, you had to roll down your window for people to see you. I wouldn't even roll them down.

I was too embarrassed of having a... Because I didn't feel like I deserved it because I made all the money on one deal. So I'm driving this $50,000 car, 430 horsepower AMG. Meanwhile, the windows are tinted to hide... Huh? like the windows are tinted to hide huh this fits with you because like you were desperate for approval from like guys and girls back then but you were also like scared to even have sex so like you wanted to have girls want to have sex with you but like you wouldn't even do it so like it's almost like you just felt like that's what you do with your money that's what you do with your

money like i i was like a very small scale of like, you know, an NBA player who doesn't make it, but blows their first big check. But they bought 50 cool things that they just think that that's what I should do with my money. Like, oh, yeah, we've all done those things before where we like buy something one time. When's the first time you got a big check? Do you remember what your first big check or you got all incremental until you got somewhat big?

No, I don't remember my first like, I think it was probably, I remember telling my dad like, I was living at home with my parents and I got enough college gigs on my books that over two month period, I had no money. And I was like, dad, in two months,

guess how much money I'm going to make? And I remember it being $10,000 over two months. And, you know, it was like doing like 18 college shows or something like that. But it was just to me that felt like I finally am going to, to be okay. So what did you go buy when you got that 10 grand? Nothing. Oh my God. Are you kidding me that's gonna go away i gotta save it i don't i'm not good at that i don't dude my first eight grand because then it goes away andrew like the money is only uh special when you have it the first eight grand that i got in real estate i went to this club called automatic slims in fort lauderdale with Rusty. I spent all my money. I bought bottles of champagne, and I fell through the table holding the waitress.

She fell with me. I saved her by her landing on me. My back went through the glass table. $8,000 worth of champagne broke, and then I woke up to a girl putting on a Hooters outfit, and I didn't hook up with her. And then she wouldn't give me a ride home. She was at your place, but she had to go to work, and so she girl putting on a Hooters outfit, and I didn't hook up with her. And then she wouldn't give me a ride home. She was at your place, but she had to go to work.

I was at her place. She was putting on a Hooters outfit. I go, hey, can you drive me back to downtown Fort Lauderdale? I woke up 40 minutes outside of Fort Lauderdale. I go, can you drive me back? She goes, I can't. I got to get to Hooters. Were you bleeding?

Inside, internal. So I go, well, drive me home. She goes, I can't. And then Rusty, she's like, she goes i can't and then rusty she's like well you can't stay at my apartment either it's like 100 degrees out i'm wearing a shirt that says juice so crazy with a star date oh my god i'm walking in a like it's like 130 degrees in south florida rusty comes and picks me up and like like eight grand gone like i know i literally had less money than when i started the night and uh you know but god i kind of miss that guy that guy's still in you you still do stuff like that on a smaller scale like getting into celsius drinks like getting a new golf shirt every day for some reason i i don't know how many golf shirts do you own at this point

it's got to be more than i own the clubs the clubs is the problem the shirts are not the shirts i'm okay the clubs are the problem noah what's the coolest thing you've ever done? Okay, so for me, the thing that came to my mind was earlier in my radio days and maybe like a little bit later into my radio days, anytime there would be a celebrity coming to the studio, I would get a photo and then I would run to Facebook and post it just to like show off, like, look at what I get to do. And that, you know, like now I just like cringe whenever I look at those posts. And I like, I just know that I did it just to show it off. It was not like any indication of like what my job is or anything like that. Although like now I just feel like I don't have to show off these things like if anyone is curious about what i do or what my history it is they can just ask me and i'll talk about it and those photos are just for me to bring those memories out so like i i don't know like that

i feel so desperate for you to like let people know that you were like crushing it and like that this that yeah like you were succeeding you were hobnobbing with celebrities yeah right and like all all sorts all like wrestling and actors musicians i was just like i'm gonna show everybody and you know what's lame about that no offense or what's about that is that you don't know them they will never they don't remember you yeah they that you may they it's not a friendship and i wanted to say if i take pictures with people at shows and they post them you have every right to post that because we have an interaction even if you come up to me on the street i will remember you but like if someone is a radio producer that i'm doing a you know a

bunch of radio shows to promote something and the producer takes a picture and tries to put that on his Tinder like we're friends. And I think that that's like where... And I think it's cool to post pictures with celebrities when you meet them, even if you don't have a good connection. Sometimes it's like, oh my God, I'm with this person.

I don't think that's lame. I think it's lame when you try to make it seem like my life is just like these are my buds like i don't know it's just like if you're calling them by their first name it's always the same pose it's like very quick so you have to get it right and it's just oh my god you know what i'm going to open tomorrow's show which we're about to record after this with a story of what i i i last night lived one of what you just told the story you just

told of the cursed thing of your life i last night andrew what it would have been the cursed moment of andrew's life and he would have done the same thing that you would have done in my shoes last night if he would have been you know back in his andrew days of wearing did you hang out with my heroes? I hung out, I met one of your heroes for a moment, you're probably wearing those don't say it, save it for tomorrow I read one of your heroes

but only when I think around the time that you bought that stupid truck, it would have been a hero of that time and I'm guessing you can think who it is Vin Diesel. No, you'll see on the next episode of the Nikki Glaser podcast. Don't be cut.

And. Yeah. Harlow. Twitter. John Stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show, which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast. Join late night legend, John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines,

exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.