The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #255 Gibberish Training Bra w/ Anya Marina

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

Nikki is in her hotel room and joined but her BFFs Andrew and Anya Marina. She explains how her boyfriend "deflowered her" recently. Anya learns about Andrew's nipple issue which sparks a conversation about first bras. Nikki gives a lesson in gibberish and kudos if you got it. Anya has been watching docuseries one of which is The Deep End and the other is about revenge porn. Nikki peels apart the porn industry and also explains what she enjoys. You Heard It Here First: men don't like violent porn and a penis is the mode in pie ala mode. With the finale of FBoy Island on HBO Max airing they reveal more of what went on behind the scenes.    Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: www.nikkiglaser.com/tour Andrew's Tour Dates: www.andrewcollincomedy.com   More Nikki: IG More Andrew: IG  More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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come out of your friendly neighborhood country club welcome to the party with tisha allen is an iheart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment listen to welcome to the party that's p-a-r-t-E-E on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right.

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From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived

most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. worried that you're not enough we got you self-obsessed and want to get over yourself there's a guide for that too the happiness labs how-to season starts january 1st listen on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts the nikki glitzer podcast Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, in the intro song and it just so happens to be Anya Marina. She is our guest today joining us from somewhere in New York City. Not sure if I can call it upstate. Anya, how's it going? So good to be here. I'm glad I got to redo my part live because during the Hamptons pod, I was very disappointed in my performance. Were you? I was disappointed in all of us.

Yeah, I wasn't there. It's not that I was disappointed. I was mad. You know how it's usually the opposite. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. No, no, no. I was just making a joke. Andrew Collin is also here. Hi, Andrew. He's in St. Louis. What's going on? Thank you so much for having me here. How'd you get in my apartment this morning? Huh? How'd you get in there today? I've never never left you thought i moved out you idiot it's funny to call someone mercedes mercedes what are you fucking goofy yeah you thought i moved out f boy island uh is very flagrant with the word uh idiot um which leads me to believe that he was called a fucking idiot a lot in his childhood, which is unfortunate, but I do love him, and I have love for that guy.

Even though yesterday I posted on my Instagram story. I don't know if you saw it, Anya, but you and Taylor were watching FBoy Island and commenting on our WhatsApp chat, which is like nine girls on that thing, and you're all like break. Most of it's voice recordings of you guys processing it but it was just so funny to read like i i wait i love danny danny's hair is slicked i he made a good choice mercedes i'm still on the fence about i miss benedict i don't know how to feel about and then taylor's like, I love J.B. Brian.

J.B. Brian said that Nikki's hot and cool. Go J.B. Like it was just Taylor loved J.B. Brian from the jump. And like, honestly, most people are probably like who, but I guess he also really makes a great showing in the last two episodes,

which I have not seen. Don't spoil them for me. Just kidding. I love them, but I have not seen them because I lived them and I don't, I'm Chris and I have not seen. Don't spoil them for me. Just kidding. I love them, but I have not seen them because I lived them and I don't, I'm Chris and I have not been together and I have no one to watch them with. And so you guys know I do not watch things by myself and I certainly can't watch myself by myself.

I'm going to try to binge it today on the plane back from LA, but I can't promise anything. I've heard it's so good. I am so moved by everyone freaking the fuck out about the finale and all my friends just being like don't spoil it like they're all like watching it at different times being like holy shit did you guys watch it yet please watch it like i haven't felt this much excitement from my friends about a show since the bachelor bachelorette and that usually was just me and anya you know no one expected like a gun on set for someone to get shot at the end which is why i'm sorry did you forget that someone

got shot it was bad yeah it was really bad it was it wasn't no one died but it was it was very bloody it was a t-shirt gun and because those guys we just wanted them to put one on did you notice mercedes nipples no but that that was also a thing um that i didn't put because i didn't want to shame mercedes because i didn't know if his nipples were good or bad are they like they're like my dad's i know that's a weird thing to say but my my dad has a very perky nipple. My dad has like weird, they look like pencil erasers, like brand new pencil eraser nipples. They're just like a third nipple. They look so tiny.

Oh, they're tiny. Tiny. God, Andrew, did you notice his nipples? That's almost like Andrew's version of like hairlines. Wait, you don't know Andrew? Andrew's. If I had Mercedes nipplesipples i would have been a like a lawyer like a billion dollar lawyer you would have the confidence of a rich man

your nipples are holding you back they are have you weighed them you try walking around with these fucking udders god damn it what if you got them pierced? With what? Really? Piers Morgan? Hang Piers Morgan on there? No, one of those things that they, you know, when a cow has that ring through its chest. Yeah, then I would join the Noah's Favorite band. Piers Morgan! Just loop him. Yeah.

Just here, just yapping away. About trans kids or something? For them. I hate that guy. here just yapping away about trans kids or something are the areola are large they're puffs okay okay you can't get a good but they're puffs you know how like our nipples are on that like part of the month where it's like you know when our nipples are when we're like maybe not ovulating where it's like the type the time of month where your nipple is just like you don't want it to be seen. That's how Andrew feels. It's a swollen rosebud.

Oh, God. Speaking of, look at this fucking flower arrangement that Chris sent me. So sweet. It is the most beautiful arrangement I've ever seen in my life and this is four days out. It's still alive. It is.

Wow. It's so, you guys know me. Do I like flowers? No. Fuck no fuck no they die they're a burden this is a nice one because i just get to leave it here and i don't have to like you know throw it away and put it in the trash fly home with it check it yeah like like i'm miss america carrying it through um no i i usually i'm just like oh flowers but i walked into my hotel room the other day i was having a rough day just really depressed and i sent him like just a message being like i'm just feeling like total ass fuck shit and um and then i went and did something and then i came

back and in my room my room was clean because the maids to clean it and sitting on this table was just this beautiful arrangement and i was just, please don't be from my agents. Please don't be from my agents. And it was not. And he wrote a really funny card. I forget what he wrote. It was an inside joke that really made me laugh. And it was just, I feel like I turned into a woman with these flowers.

Because I finally love flowers. And I understand. Yeah yeah he deflowered me by giving me flowers yeah yeah i feel like how quickly you did it that was it was so fast can i give a shout out if you are ever in la go to seed la s-e-e-d seed la for flowers this arrangement i mean you will convert someone who, I like edible arrangements. I've tried to eat them. They're not going down.

But they, this, and I've woken up every day and I'm like, oh my God, I love, every day it's, I keep telling him, it's move over Folgers. Best part of waking up is these fucking flowers. I love them. And I'm gonna start, I think I going to start getting flowers for myself and like putting them in my house and like trying to be that kind of woman. Not because I'm trying to be, but because I just, I think I might be now.

I thought of you today when I was putting on jewelry for this podcast. I hope everyone appreciates it because I never wear layered necklaces. And I remembered your joke, Nikki. I never wear layered necklaces. And I remembered your joke, Nikki. Yeah. Fucking layered Hamilton over here. You always talk about how you want to be a woman who wears layered necklaces. And it's true.

It is a thing. Like it was, it's, it's such a thing. I would stare at them on the train and it's a sign of Noah has a layered necklace just like laying behind her on her draperies that looks like a from ikea just an effortless layered necklace and i have layered skin on my nipples

your little peonies oh man okay i have a near new arapa but okay budding nipples yes but no i don't even want you to call me your bud that is disgusting too because it feels bud is so gross when you're talking about nipples when i remember kirsten and i um when girls started getting like budding nipples or whatever it is you know just puffing out for the first time because you go from having like mercedes to puffs about fifth sixth grade like Mercedes to Puffs. About 5th, 6th grade. That was back in the early 2000s or like in the 90s. Now girls are getting buds like they're getting breasts at

3. You know like they're starting their periods at 4. It's crazy. Because of milk or something. So Kirsten and I and I've said this on the podcast before but it's so funny. We were so fucking funny. I just have to give a little pat on the back about how funny my friends were.

Kirsten and I came up with in sixth grade, we didn't have boobs yet. I think we got our first training bras then, which is such a dumb name as well. Training bra. Yeah, it's weird to put wheels on your bra. That's the joke. I was waiting. I was like, what am I going to say for training? That was perfect.

Do you remember where you got your training bra from? Yes. Famous Bar. Famous Bar? What's that? I know that sounds insane to anyone who's not from St. Louis. Yeah, Joe's pub down the corner. This would look great on Nikki.

If you're from St louis and grew up in the 90s you know that famous bar is a department store that was um it was ridiculous when we first moved there we're like famous bar what is it b-a-r-r but that's where we went the junior section and um kirsten's mom brought us sorry i'm burping kirsten's mom brought us because my mom was kind of like i don't need to do that and she like you know she signed off on it she gave she signed my permission slip but i went and we got these just like i just all i wanted was those buds to be covered up but the thing is training bras unless they have a padding in it the buds don't get covered it's just like wearing another shirt underneath it doesn't

if you're a mom out there that is buying or a dad single dad buying a training bra for your daughter make sure it has a thicker layer it's not going bra for your daughter make sure it has a thicker layer it's not going to make your daughter a slut it's not going to make her have big ass boobs just make sure it has a thicker layer than a t-shirt you know a training bra or a like a because those buds need to be pushed down because they're buttoned and no one likes it but kirsten and i used to call girls that didn't have training bras, which were us. And we're just towing that line. The girls that had single fathers, pretty much, or mothers who were deadbeat moms, the ones that didn't get bras yet, we used to say.

And now you see this everywhere, and it's kind of like a trend. We would call them in dire. We'd be like, she's so in dire because she was in dire need of a bra. And so we'd be like, she's so in dire. And it was just like a way to um we had so many codes then she grew up to be zendaya which is weird zendaya is is in dire a lot of times but that's like such a good look for her did you guys have like um code words nb was no bra i learned that from my first boyfriend if a girl walked by with no bra he'd always go nb nb but that's good kind of a pervy hot thing you learned some when um you were in the hamptons with all of us so many but i think

um anya was the one that was like you guys had a green vase green vase was um and this is besties have probably already heard this before but it bears repeating green vase was we wanted to our friends started having sex i mean my friends started having sex but i i was not but that we started like kind of doing things with boys and we started wanting to be able to talk about these acts and one time we were in my bedroom and it was me holla kirsten and i think maybe taylor and we were like what do we call blowjobs because we obviously can't talk about that in front of our parents and we hadn't live the gurned uh to the gibber the girl where the gish you the get so the go with the geek of the good to the gins to the gay blue the go to the gobs so instead we

were like you guys know what i mean um there's like four people out there they're like yes gibberish my lessons paid off my my gibberish training bra paid off um it was, um, is that a duolingo? Yeah, that should be. I should create an app. I could teach you gibberish in two seconds. I want to teach the, one episode I'm going to commit to just five minutes of teaching besties gibberish. And once you commit to it, you, all you have to do is practice for like 10 minutes and you'll get it.

Okay. Do you want to learn right now? Like literally. Okay. No. Are you down to like, cause like literally okay no yeah but are you down to look because no i was like nicky i can't learn it no well here's what green base let me just say what green base is because we were like what should blow job be and i go i don't know what should because we called smoking pots we called pot sweaters so we'd be like let's go one of my first jokes was like you know when you're growing up and you come up with code words so your parents don't know what you're talking about me and my friends we called pot sweaters and so me and my friends we would go like hey mom we're

gonna go drive around the neighborhood and knit some sweaters like that was like she and then we'd come back with like you know bloodshot eyes and she'd be like where's your yarn and knitting needles and i'd just be like the sweaters were so beautiful like it was just some joke about that but like what we were so stupid like why was that we didn't knit sweat we had no that was not a thing we did we should have picked a thing we did so we also called it debbie we'd be like do you have any debbie and then um but green vase came about because i was like okay we got to come up with a good one for for blow jobs because we're all going to be giving them so much for sure right to our teachers no um so we're looking

around and i just i used to collect um glass not vases but like like bottles you know some that would be shaped like a fish or shaped like an eiffel tower like blown glass just heineken just bottles that we would practice blowing um do you know i'm saying like blown like it was like my thing i was trying to find any identity and my thing was like collecting these fucking bottles i was totally into that too really oh yeah collecting those bottles yes yes colored glass i had a whole thing in my room i want to to get into collecting again. Tangent. Okay. So here's, so I just go, but you guys, it can't be something stupid.

Like we have to come up with a good cohort. It can't be something stupid, like green vase. And then we were all like, that's it. And then we called vigorous, uh, hand jobs vigorous.

Cause it's like, Whoa, Whoa. And it's vigorous. You ever put them all together? Like I was, I sweatered and wow. Vigorously. Yeah. He and I kn, I sweatered and waved vigorously.

Yeah, he and I knitted some sweaters and then things got vigorous and I fucking broke a green vase and it got all over my sweater. Wait, your actual sweater? Wait, wait, yes. Yeah, my actual one. Wait, cum got on your weed? Oh no. That too. That would really ruin it um so here's how you do so before we get to break here is a quick lesson in gibberish and i'm gonna do it once and don't worry till holla right now is listening and she's going nikki no stop it right now nikki

stop they're all gonna know holla if anyone a shit, they would all learn it because this is accessible. There's a thing that people know. People are not going to learn it. Don't worry. She's slamming right now going like, no, Nikki, they're going to know. And it's like, Holla, we use it like once a year. Get a note. She's going, no, the go, no, the go.

No, the go. No, the guy. So here we go. So what gibberish is, it's so simple. You basically, you take English and every word you break down by syllables. And syllables are, you know, Nikki is Nick-key.

Or it could be Ni-key. Or it could be Nick-key. Like either, you know, syllables are how many sounds are, if you didn't go to school, that's what a syllable is pretty much. It's like Andrew has two syllables. Anya has two syllables. Noah has two syllables. if you didn't go to school. That's what a syllable is pretty much. Andrew has two syllables. Anya has two syllables.

Noah has two syllables. Anyway, so let's take, okay, so then what you do is once you break it down by syllables, ni-ki, right? And it doesn't matter if I say ni or nick and then ki or ni-ki. It doesn't matter, okay? So then you take what your prime word that

you're going to be inserting. And I know this sounds complicated. I'm not a good teacher, but it's ith-a-g. I-T-H-A-G. Ith-a-g. Ith-a-g. Ith-a-g. Okay. Now you're going to put that, you're going to take every word, you're going to break into consonants. And you're going to be able to do this without thinking within one hour of practicing this and not even practicing it like for a full hour, just like kind of throwing it around. So you would take Nick and I would put Ithaca. You're never going to start with the letter I, with Ithaca, unless it is a word that starts with a vowel.

So you're always going to take the first consonant, the first sound, whether it's, mine would be n, n, n, okay? So,

and then you're going to complete the end of that sound, which is ik. So Nikki is n, ik, and you're going to put in between it, ithiga. So it's going to be nithigik. So I put ithiga.

So n, ithigik. I don't know if n is the best one to start with this. Nithigik. So I put Ithaga. So Nith. Ith. I'm already lost. Nithigik. And then Ki. So I'm going to take Ki now. Or I can take E. Because I've already got the Ki at the end of Nithigik.

But Ki, if I'm taking Ki, I'm going to take the K sound and go Kithagi. Kithagi. And then Gi. And then end it with the E, so ki. So noa would be, okay, no, uh. So nithago, and then uh is the last part of her name. Now, there's no consonant.

There's no harsh, like, consonant. It's just uh, which is a vowel, so you're just gonna go ithaga. So nithago, ithaga. Anya would also start with an A, so it's not gonna say which is a vowel. So you're just going to go ith-a-ga. So nith-a-go, ith-a-ga. Anya would also start with an A. So it's not going to have a sound that's going to go ith-a-gon. So you're going to start with on. Oh, okay.

And then ya, ya is the second one. And you're going to go yith-a, start with a Y, yith-a. And then ga, because it's on ya. So let's try, Andrew, try your name. What about a you? Like the word you? No, well, yeah, I guess so. Yuh the goo.

Okay, so. So you, the Y, it's not really about if it's a noun, like the letter itself, it's about the sound it makes. So if it makes a sound like it or other or Anya, then you just go either other or either the the girl now if it's um something like the word you y-o-u you're gonna go yeah the goo because there is that that yeah sound so let's try andrew andrew try your own name and this is totally a safe space i'm not gonna make fun of you if you can't get it. I'm not a good teacher. It's hard. In the God?

No. So let's take your name. Take your name. First, separate your two. In the God? No, separate your two letters. And Drew. Okay, and.

Okay, so do that one first. So it ends with N. So and is great because and is a word that we're going to use all the time, right? So let's do and. So and is the first one. So wouldn't and be in the? Because it's an and. and wouldn't and be in the is the because it's an and it starts with an a so it's if the get god and yeah that's what i said no you said at the gond oh that would be on drew okay well that's how i so in the gan in the gan okay then let's do

what's the second one is so So his second one is drew. Drew the guh. Drew the goo. Drew the goo. Yeah, because you're ending it with ew, drew, ew. Oh, okay. Okay, so let's just do one more. We're going to go to break, so let's do the word break.

Anya, do you want to try the word break? Yeah. Brew the gake. Yes. Wait, brew the gake? You did it. Brew the gake. Brew the gake. It wait for the gate you did it breath a gake breath a gake just one syllable damn it hers was easier okay um one more andrew um podcast can i do freak podcast podcast uh

no it's always going to be ithiga. So the only, you're never going to, a word is never going to start with anything other than pi. It's always going to be pi, bi, di. Okay, so pithiga, pithigad. Pithigad, yes. Pithigad, kithigast. Yes!

Oh, now I know it. So the go with the gi, ithigar, get the go, get the go, ithiging, to the goo with the gee and the garg and the go with the go and the ging to the goo with the gig with the gait and the gout and the gan with the gill be the gee but the gack with the gith and the gorse to the go. And the gaff to the gerth and the giss. And the gam to the goo!

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All right, we're back. So, sorry if that was a waste of everyone's time, but I swear to God, if I can learn it, you can. I am not someone who is good with language or learning languages. It's not my forte. It's my Will forte. And I'm not even good at remembering which one he is. I confuse him with Bill Hader, Will, Arnett i don't know welcome back to the show

i'm in uh los angeles uh anya is in new york anya um you said that you wasted a lot of your time last night with a tv show and that you have been i don't understand people who watch things they don't like. Please walk me through this. Okay, well, you're freezing. Strong silent type. I know you're breaking up. To the gong. Okay, how's this?

I'm having some connectivity issues. Let me move over here. I was saying that I felt really sick, so I didn't have any energy to think of a better show to watch. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Press the button. So what show did you decide to watch? And you've been on a binge of, like, these shows about manipulative people, right?

And, like, these. Oh, God. I've been going down a cult documentary i watched the teal swan doc with you guys in the amptons i watched that one's called the deep water or something deep end then i watched a crazy one on hbo it's all hbo max i think or no that one was hulu uh the way down about an anorexic woman who tells you that if you worship food instead of God, you're going to hell. Well, she's right. My life went to hell as soon as I did that. Wait, you're supposed to worship food? No, she's like, you need to transfer your obsession

with food to being obsessed with God. Well, that's what anorexics do is are obsessed with food. They people think that we're not obsessed with food. But the truth is, we are so isn't did you as a person who maybe has had struggles with food stuff, find flaw in that logic of like, her saying as an anorexic, don't be obsessed with food. I mean, yeah, it's like easier said than done lady. And why are you 75 pounds? She's like, I just love the Lord. It's a fascinating documentary. All she eats are wafers. Yeah.

Jesus, bloody. I swear to God, I remember when I was anorexic, even going to church with a friend and having to maybe eat that wafer was like, no. Starting that sentence would swear to god it's so fun i swear to god i went to church i swear to fucking god i swear to rice cakes never so what would you do when they go to feed you the wafer would you just go i would just pretend like it was a moral issue for me or like that i was an atheist or something like i would

do anything i remember going you know what would be you know if you just went even farther and put the priest's finger in your mouth and he's like okay you're done i wouldn't have even done that i was holding my breath in paneras because i didn't want to breathe in the smell of bread because i thought it would have calories in it that's how insane you are when you're anorexic oh my god i would i remember going on a senior trip to chicago and went to go see the blue man group and they do this thing where they like bring someone on stage and they like have the person eat like marshmallows. And I was like,

if they chose, choose me, I don't know what I'm, I don't know what I'm going to do. Like it was the most anxiety I've ever had in my entire life. And I've done, you know, I've been on TV and been on live tv

it's I've never felt that anxiety before of like what could happen like I threw out a first pitch and I don't know how to do sports like that gave me more anxiety did do you relate to that Anya of being scared of like having to be forced to eat in situations where you're like I can't yeah I mean it's been a long time and I didn't have anorexia like you were like a hardcore committed type. My thing was- Literally committed. Literally. To a hospital. But I was definitely afraid of food and I would have major anxieties. I mean, the thing with all these cults is they always start off pretty reasonable.

Like, these are good ideas, you know, and then it takes a turn. Like, what she's saying isn't that scandalous. Like, you know, a lot of compulsive eaters are obsessed with food and have lost their way spiritually maybe if you, you know, even to themselves. So it got bad when the abuse starts. That's in part two or part three. Yeah, it always, they just, they always, as soon as someone else tells them, like, I don't, I question this thing

and they, in the Teal Swan documentary, it's just a great moment where one guy is just like, the guy goes, well, who are you who are you answering to like who's checking you and she's like why do i need to have someone checking me and he's just like well because you say that we have to have people like and she's like well it really makes me concerned that you don't you think that maybe i need someone checking me and that maybe you are not as invested in this as I like and she spun it oh what about when she said the fastest person in the world like she compares herself to the fastest person in the world she actually makes good logic that I'm like that's

why she's a cult leader because even I was like oh that's a good point she's like well if I were the fastest person in the world and I told you I was, and I was, and you said, well, how can you be the fastest person in the world if there's no one faster than you? So I can't be the fastest person in the world because there's no one faster than me? What does that mean? How do you accept that?

She's right. And I go, God, she's fucking good. I'm like taking notes. That scene was so uncomfortable for me. Why? I mean, it was uncomfortable because she's getting confronted yeah i'm like taking notes that seems so uncomfortable for me why she just i don't know i mean it was uncomfortable because she's getting confronted and you know this girl is like is crazy and that she's not right and so there is discomfort in knowing like oh someone's just discomfort in like in like how her being questioned i don't know it just came off so like egotistical

and like how could you even think the question it's like I don't know like I think I saw too much of her life she's been married five times. Could she dye up your hair in a bathtub? Yeah your eyebrows can we start there? Maybe all knowing

the eyebrows should start somewhere I'd love to start there but I all knowing you would know this. The eyebrows should start somewhere. I'd love to start there, but I don't know where they start. So does she have like a God complex? All your hair is on. Does she think she's like a God? Is that? Yes. And I think, I mean, she was terribly abused.

So like her way of, or was she? Because part of her thing is convincing people that they were abused and then isolating them from their families by being like your dad molested you and the dad's like, I did it. And it's like, well, of course he's saying that. And then she like makes you eat frog stuff that makes you trip. And then she's like, your dad fucking molested you. So even like it made me question her own story of like what happened to her. But yeah. It's a great story.

What was the show last night that you watched, Anya, and that you were like, Anya said I skipped the second episode and I didn't even realize I did because it was such a bad show. The Most Hated Man on the Internet about the guy that started that website, the porn, revenge porn site. I didn't even finish it. It just made me feel so bad. They were showing clips of all

the horrific things that he would that they would upload and it's just depraved stuff and i'm like wait will you tell me details like people talk slowly people pooping wait what do you mean do you remember the the revenge i don't even know the premise i know what revenge porn is but i don't know that there was a site for it specifically there was a website yeah go ahead you actually watched the doc i just remember it from history this guy starts to say your browser history is anybody up or is anyone up or whatever that takes off it's like all these nude photos of people and it links to the people's social media. So it would show like 15 pictures of naked Nikki Glaser.

And then it would be like, and here's her Instagram. And here's her address. And here's her Facebook. Docs them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, a lot of guys would take photos of their girlfriends. And then when they get cheated on

or they or they cheat on the girls and the girl get breaks up with them then they upload it to go you fucking bitch you fucking whore no one's gonna want you now i'm gonna ruin you and um and it still happens they do it all the time it's like there's not just one site for it so this guy started a site that was just for that right and it really took off and he like got famous off being a sociopath and like tweeting constantly like basically daring people to kill themselves or you know like just you know one percent of people are sociopaths one percent of the human population one percent that seems kind of low it seems seems high to me. Really? Oh, yeah.

One in 100 people. I mean, that's like on every flight you're on, there's one person that's a psychopath. And sociopath and psychopath, I think, are interchangeable by most professional standards. Was this guy making money off of it? Was it like a... Yes. Yeah, he had to pay to get on there? I guess he was selling ads. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, he had to pay to get on there? I guess he was selling ads, yeah.

I mean, who's like, oh, man, I got to sell my shoes on revengemort.com? You know, it's just like, what person's buying ads? Hey, a lot of people came to see me in Atlantic City because of that banner I bought. Yeah, yeah. um um this there there's another guy being tried right now for a website called like girls do porn or a production company and i mean it's the same old story they put an ad on craigslist looking for models 18 and up girls answer the ad they fly the girl to LA from her little podunk town, put her up at some fucking, they pick her up at the airport. They don't even bring her to the,

they bring her to a hotel for the modeling shoot. On the way to the hotel, they tell the girl. What are you doing in LA? That sounds exactly like your last four days. Don't fall for Nikki. Nikki, no. It's too late.

They sent flowers. And the revenge is that people are going to have to watch it. It's not pretty. So what they would do is they get the girl, and this has really made me just go, I can't with porn. I got to put up, I got to vegan it pretty soon here, guys, because so much porn is made this way.

They get the, and this was the guy that would do these tactics over and over, and now he's being sued, and there's this huge lawsuit that's happening right now. So fly the girls out on the way from the airport. They pick them up in the car,

like at the baggage claim, and within a day, I mean, these girls would answer an ad, and the next day they're flown out. fly the girls out on the way from the airport. They pick them up in the car, like at the baggage game. Um, and, and within a day, I mean, these girls would answer an ad and the next day they're flown out. They, on the way to the hotel,

they'd be told it wasn't really a modeling shoot. It was actually porn. At this point, this guy is kind of intimidating. He you're in a car with him. You've already flown out. He's put you, he's paid for your ticket.

He's like picked you up at the airport you kind of feel indebted you're 18 you're young you don't like your first time in la then they go but don't worry it's oh and they make you send nude shots so they already kind of know these girls are maybe down to be a little sexual right Like they know it's a sexual modeling shoot. So these girls have sent nudes, um, just to, and like sent their fucking buttholes, I bet.

And then they, they get the job and it's good money, you know, for a girl that's working at fucking, I don't know, custard stand over the summer. It's like, it's insane. They,

and it's, maybe it's like a thousand dollars, but still that's like insane money for these girls. And then they go, they get to the hotel hotel there's so much paperwork they have to sign they tell the girls that the video is only going to be distributed in australia privately on videotapes for people who pay for them and will not be end up online and it's only for select buyers um that will not be distributed online it will never end up online which by the way isn't a thing young women listening nothing you do can be sure like there's nothing that won't end up online or can't there's no way to make sure something doesn't end up online but these

girls don't know that you know the education's not great in michigan or whatever so they go no tons of offense get it together michigan flint flint michigan the water is still bad bring back our girls i don't think that's the same cause okay so um so they then they they make them sign all this and this is like the story over and over all these girls have the same story they get to the place they make these girls sign so much paperwork and they have a flight out that night so they they just want one shoot with these girls have the same story they get to the place they make these girls sign so much paperwork and they have a flight out that night so they they just want one shoot with these girls because they're disposable i mean they're not going to use them again after what they do to them the girl has a flight that night so they're like hey we got to do this shoot figure like sign this paper so they rush them through the paperwork and act like them reading it which these girls

barely can fucking probably understand any of this legalese that they're going through so they sign all this stuff which is pretty much signing away all their rights. And they get into the shoot and they're told it's going to take 30 minutes for this porn shoot that is only going to be, you know, this kind of sex act that they agree to. They get in there five hours of shooting with minimal breaks. And every time they break, they they're like your flight is coming and we need to get this like you're making everyone wait making these girls feel like a burden

I'm a 38 or so year old woman who still feels like a burden all the time to everyone I mean I could see myself getting roped into something like this let alone if I was fucking 18 years old and so then there's rope involved literally so then these girls are

brutally penetrated in every way with by multiple men there's it's not at all what they agreed to but because they do you know sign the paperwork and they are consenting in the sense that they say sure that's fine but they keep pressing you know these guys are master manipulators so this by the time the plane hits the ground back in detroit or wherever they fucking fly back to it's already online i mean it takes about that's an exaggeration but it takes about three weeks and these girls get texts from their friends saying there's videos of you that same day all their parents find out their aunts and uncles they know people in australia yeah right down and um it's all backwards too and so um upside down yeah mouth to ass and these girls lives

are ruined i mean their parents these girls come from these good Christian small town places, and they have $1,000 in their pocket, which is, after the fact, probably like $600. It's already long gone. And their families, they get estranged from their families. No one wants to talk to them. Every guy thinks they're a fucking slut, a stupid skank. These towns where they're from, their reputations are ruined. They're run out of town, and they have go they have no they have nowhere to go after that

and now they have this thing on their record and they're it's and so this guy is being tried right now he's such a piece of shit really i mean if you're someone out there who watches porn like i do we gotta do better like i can't support this anymore i feel like there should be a law where like they're like well they signed the paperwork but it's like unless the paperwork's like four sentences and like times new roman 16 career career yeah double space where it's like you will ruin your life if it's like a bunch of mumbo jumbo igatha megatha you know? It should be tried in court. Yeah, that's,

it's bad. It's so bad. But you know what I mean though? Like if it feels like it could be hidden, that should be a law. Can I say the worst thing of it all? Okay. That you saw one of these before you saw the documentary?

I've definitely seen one of these. Like there's no doubt this guy is prolific and like this isn't like one website you go to this is he has his videos on every porn website there is we're talking red tube we're talking x2 we're talking um x hamster we're talking porn hub we're talking i mean everything and the problem is there's something at this point in my porn viewing I enjoy. And I talked about it in my first special. And my enjoyment of this has only gotten worse. Reluctant porn where the girl is like, I don't know. Like, I can't.

I shouldn't. And then it's like my joke was like I love when she's like, no. Okay. Like, I like't. I shouldn't. And then it's like, my joke was like, I love when she's like, no, okay. Like, I like it. And I like, now I like porn where the man is like really old and the girl, there's no way the girl's attracted to him,

but she's just doing it because she wants to get- Can we keep my relationship at it? I know, I'm sorry. I've been watching your sex tapes. Just type in Andrew Kyle. Could you guys move to the apartment across from mine, please? Across the way.

No, I like videos where the girl is like, and I'm not alone here. I remember friends of mine admitting to liking the same thing. It's a subgenre. It's age gap where the girl is like, she's just doing it and she's kind of enjoying herself. Sometimes she comes, but like, I just like that the guy is like so appreciative and like,

I'm so old and this is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm about to die. And he's like got cobwebs on his dick and like, I just, I like it. I like, I don't, I, and what I'm looking for now is like, I can't help that I like that.

I'm not a bad person because I like that. I do not want anyone to be victimized. I do not mind though, that being dramatized in porn. And that is what I have to seek out. And I don't know. Would you still enjoy it if you knew everyone belonged to a union and was being paid well and was consent paid well. Yeah, that's why I pay for porn.

I pay like $100 a month for all my subscriptions. But the thing is I still don't even trust the subscriptions because they're still outsourcing their production. It's like dog fart. Can I trust dog fart productions? I don't know. They make great stuff, but I don't know if i can trust them yeah i think like uh i think if it was like a movie and it was like whoa these actors are amazing but if it's really like this is really believable they're probably they're not the best actors so it's probably close to the truth you know what i mean that's the tough part it's not but i also

wow they're so method by hating fucking this old weird man well i don't want the girl to be like sad and like i hate this like i want the girl my because that's the kind of sex i like where i'm kind of like pushed to my limits you know where it's like almost like a barry's boot camp where you're like if i really had a choice i would like to not be doing this fucking burpee right now. But I know that if I get through it, I'll feel accomplished. Why does burpee sound like a nickname for an old guy? I've got to be fucking burpy. It sounds like you after you take a Viagra

and then have to not have sex. The other day, Andrew admitted that he took a Viagra to prepare for sex and Brenna saw the rapper in the trash. But then he couldn't have sex because he had heartburn. And so he had a boner but couldn't have sex because he had acid reflux. Hot. Cuties. It's true.

If they make Viagra pill that could do heartburn and a cock, it would be fucking brilliant. Can you not take them both? Can you not pop a Zandac and a... No, I did. I ended up doing it. But by the time the Zandac kicked in, boy, it was past my bedtime. It was 9.30.

Okay. Yeah, let's do the news. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, it's Monday, folks. You know what that means? It is Monday.

Hope you're having all the swells out there. We sure are here in all the different cities we're in. It's kind of crazy. Four people hanging out, different cities, one computer. Wild. That means there's lots of computers. It's not one computer at all. Huh?

It's four different computers. There's only one in front of him. Yes, thank you, Anya, for seeing it my way. Empathizing. She saw it my way. All right, Noah. Regrets, I had a few. All right, I'll do quick plugs.

Since Anya's our guest here today, we have a lot of unreleased songs and exclusive live streams on her Patreon. Patreon.com slash Anya's our guest here today, we have a lot of unreleased songs and exclusive live streams on her Patreon, patreon.com slash Anya Marina. We have Good Clean Filth on HBO Max, the last two episodes of FBoy Island featuring the one and only Nikki Glaser and Andrew behind the scenes on FBoy Island

and in the green room on Good Clean Filth, which you could see him in the beginning. Yes. MickeyGlaser.com slash tour and Andrew Collin is going to be on tour. AndrewCollinComedy.com

Yep. Zany's in Nashville. Please come. It's a Tuesday. I don't want six people there. It's going to be six people there, Andrew. There's going to be

so many people. I'm so scared. I really am. That'll be fun. Honestly, what are you scared? So there's six people there like it doesn't mean anything the best part about that is no one will know that there were six people there do you know i mean i have like a whole only six people will know i paid a whole crew so that would be the six jake owen will know that there's six people like that's the best part about when i used to go do clubs and no one would

show up because no one knew who i was or even i did have tv i had tv credits at the time and no one would show up and they sometimes they still don't there have been shows that have been like not full um it doesn't matter because no one knows because no one's there so it it actually doesn't have to make a you have to make a tape for instagram nikki but they but then plug in the laughs no one will know because you can't. Laughs on Instagram are non, like you don't see the audience anyway. Yeah, no, I know. I'm not that worried.

I'm kind of, but it's fine. I'm fine. I'm good. Everything's great. Everything's going to work out. Everything's wonderful. August 30th. Zantac.

But yes, Zantac. Zantac, Niagara. Soft dick. Hard heart. Okay, thanks. Soft dick, hard heart. Okay, thanks. All right, what's the news? This is a good segue. Recent research has challenged the accepted opinion

that men like violent porn and women like romantic porn. Surveys reveal that most men are turned off by violent porn and furthermore, at least some women report finding depictions of aggression against women to be a turn-on this suggests that interest in violent porn may not be so much a difference of gender as one of personality oh i thought it did say gender and then. Yeah. No, it's breaking the accepted. Yeah, because it doesn't seem to be just mostly men like this and women like this. Okay.

There are more women than they think and it's probably the reason that people are even interested in the first place is personality, not gender. Yeah, that's interesting. Violence in porn, it's tough to be turned on by that kind of thing i do not like violence i would say in porn i don't like slapping i don't like people looking like they're sad or scared but i do like uh i i do like um you know punishment and i like suffering but i like suffering in the same way that I like suffering in my life in like at the end of it there's an accomplishment like the way if you run a marathon like that's suffering and you know you're not if you watch someone you know

running a decathlon or something and you enjoy that people aren't like you're such a you're fucked up you like watching people suffer it's like no i like the i like the end where the person's like i just fucking got 10 loads of cum on my face like that is a triumph like that is a new olympic sport i think metal yeah i mean i really do feel like these girls are insanely talented and like i just i'm i'm in awe of the stamina it takes to do what they do the men i'm not as impressed with at all because they use viagra but women um i really am like i'm blown away and a lot of their assholes are blown out a lot of my guy friends we like this uh if you type it in it's actually on you porn and porn hub too but they had their own website back in the day it was called x art.com

xr is the kind of porn and it was like very girlfriend boyfriend beautiful beautiful people like making love you know and we were all like yo did you see fucking nicolette make love like so soft but like you know like see i don, I hate that kind of porn. Romantic. Me and my boys got down to tenderness. I like rough, but you know what I like is not hard. Like, not fast. I like slow, hard, if that makes any sense. I don't like tears.

I don't like when a girl's makeup is getting ruined. I don't like that. Wait, why? Oh, I like that. Because she's being... Because when you choke, you cry. Yeah. I don't like that why i like that because she's being because when you choke you cry yeah i don't like when your eyeliner runs i like that it's so ugly what do you like anya are you into i just like lazy like only massage stuff like just like a girl getting a massage and then it's like whoopsies it's a surprise massage

that's all i'm interested in i don't like in those i like the massage stuff too i don't like when the guy ends up fucking her though i just want him to finger her the whole time i don't want his penis to be involved i'm always like that's gone too far and he should be reported but if you just like this sir that's i'm fine you's still using his... I don't know. I just don't believe that women really get that much joy out of just a dick without a vibrator as well. At least I don't. I mean, and that is with every dick I've ever had in my life.

I want, I need clit too. I need clit and penis. The foreplay is the best part. So when I see... Do you think evolution,'re gonna guys are gonna grow like little like hitachi wands above your dicks yeah it'd be amazing like in 10 million years we'll all have like little dicks i'm different like many women can just do this like you know can rub their own clit while they're having a penis inside them and have a good time or it can

even just like rub on the top of the guys or the guy can rub it like with his hands but i just i've never been as ashley heseltine calls it a girl who can play acoustic i i need i need to plug into an amp that's so good i can't i can't pluck a banjo at a bluegrass festival i need fucking i need to go to plug in you need acdc on yes i do um yeah i just do you but that's nothing to say of like there's no dick i'm not talking about like oh i need something else because the dick isn't good and it's like i it would no matter what but that is why when most penetrative sex i watch on on uh in porn if there isn't a hitachi one involved there must be another dick there too there's got to be more than just if it's just one dick in a woman i am bored it's like watching bridgerton i don't care it's so

it's soft core that is the most boring sex to me in the world. And I do love a penis inside me just to be connected to my partner and to make love. But am I going to come from that? Probably not. And there is no way that any – I think I'm broken in a way maybe or something. But I cannot – like I forgot my vibrator. Were you ever like that though? While I've been here in LA? No, never. Never? Never. there was never a time before the toy like once you introduced a toy did it

change things like for your brain really try um i was just never coming from sex ever when i didn't use a toy ever ever ever i i enjoyed it it felt good but i didn't know how good it could feel because i didn't have orgasms before toys were incorporated into my life. No, it's just too, does a penis ever get in the way of a toy? Like, would you rather?

No, it's only, it only makes it better. That's the thing I always like to say. A toy is good on its own, but a dick inside you with that toy, it's only going to make the toy better. A penis will never take away

from the toy i always it's like having pie a la mode like your dick is a mode you know like i want i don't want dry pie it's fine i'll take it if that's all i can get but i want it makes it better a toy alone is fine a dick alone is also fine but Together is when they really, it's like Simon and fucking Garfunkel. Tango and Cash. Yeah. That sounds like a period film. I mean, that's not a good actual... A Dick Alone. A Dick Alone. At Landmark Theatre.

Yeah, it almost sounded like a JFK speech. Didn't it? A24 Films. Nikki's like, a dick alone is not strong. A vibrator alone is not strong. But when they're together, they are Tango and Cash. But I do love a penis alone when

it is like, I just want to have a connected experience with my partner and it's not about, because sex for me is not always about achieving an orgasm and I wish more men understood that women don't always need to come and it's okay if we don't and that's not always what's for me a lot of times sex is just about like feeling

someone inside you and that feels amazing and like really and bringing them pleasure with your body like I like that I don't always need it but if I want to come I gotta have a Hitachi I just have to I mean I forgot when when like we'll be having sex and she's like, you know, you're just enough and then we'll use the toy too. And then when the disappointment when the toy battery dies is so strong. That's why I have like six of them.

It's so funny. I feel the... Can you imagine if your hand stopped working when you were jerking off oh yeah no no no i get it oh i get all i i'm pro toy i'm like if all of a sudden you had no grip like it just loosened that would it would it would suck yeah or if like you know it's no i get what you're saying i i haven you're saying. I'm very pro toy though because I feel like it allows the woman

to have an orgasm quicker. And I'm going to have an orgasm. We'll end up having an orgasm around closer to the same time. Without a toy, it's a very different ballgame. But I love penises and I don't want to make any man feel like, oh, I'm,

you know, it's, I guess it doesn't even matter. They can just use toys and replace us. I will say though, that because I forgot to bring a vibrator here in town, I have not been able to master. It hasn't even occurred. I would have done it so many times since I've been here.

But I haven't been able to, it's not even, there's nothing for me in this. There's no electric toothbrush. There is nothing for me. There's's not even there's nothing for me in this there's no electric toothbrush there is nothing for me there's no like there's nothing for me to rub on i wouldn't be able to do it it's it's it's almost it's pretty sad actually that i'm so what if vibrators start carrying guns though huh i don't got time for that that would take so long really and i don't even know what I would do. Watch your favorite porn. Go acoustic, bruh.

And then just go acoustic and see how long. You know what I would try? Because I would try to do the thing where you take your clit and you almost try to jerk yourself off with your clit. Like you go like this. Like you pull on it like you're almost like giving your clit a hand. And my clit is like the size of a fucking mini M&M, but I could get it. You know, like that's maybe what I'll try.

Yeah, that's about the average size, right? How small are the bellhop's hands? Maybe. Don't you think a vibrator, though, is just a few steps away from Terminator? Would the gi got to go to the G for the G. Will the G be the with the G with the G with the G with the G with the G? John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people

the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox,

star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model.

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Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. All right, we're back. Let's talk about FBoy Island in our segment called... F-Agnor Island. All right, the finale was last week. I have not seen it yet. Let's talk about it.

Let's answer your questions. Go. All right. Well, can I ask the first question from a bestie that came in? Yes. Okay. A while back on the podcast, you talked about someone on the cast of Perfect Strangers 2 killing a bee.

Who was it? Oh my God. I'm so mad that this footage did not make the show. Okay, so during, there was an incident where I had, so I had this like fake microphone that was like a Price is Right microphone. And at one point during the show,

Mia was very scared of insects and there was a bee around her a big bumblebee and i and she was like freaking out and i was just trying to shoo it away because i was just going like shooby shoo you know like trying to like waving my wand at it me as someone who cares deeply about the fact that bees are disappearing and the world is ending. Um, I would never harm a bee intentionally, but old Barry Bonds was swinging right that day. And I hit the bee with my little wand. It's a very skinny wand. The bee flew to the ground and I shrieked in horror because i hit the beat but it was still alive

but it flew to the ground it was just like disoriented and then before i could do anything i forget who it was one of the boys just stomps on it and kills it and i shrieked almost probably falling to my knees bloodying them And we had to stop the production. I was very upset. And I was just like, you never kill a bee. You never kill a bee. And I went over to the bee and I picked it up and I brought it over to the rocks by the edge of the ocean

where you saw Tom throw that ring. And I buried the bee in the rocks and I said a prayer for it. And I said, I'm sorry, bee. And everyone thought I was very weird. And we went back to filming, buried the bee in the rocks and I said a prayer for it and I said I'm sorry bee and everyone thought I was very weird and we went back to filming but it was like it was a moment that I was really I I forgot about it until just now and um I'm gonna try to get the footage from Bill Dixon my friend who's the EP on the show because it was you know it was the most athletic athletic

thing that I've ever done in my life I gotta get that footage i looked amazing and yeah but it was just so funny and it was so sad too and i and i do want to get the message out about like don't do what i you know i assisted in doing it was funny when tom threw tom threw the ring into the water yeah i got a lot of messages about this and right when he throws it, Brennan goes, Nikki's not going to like that. And then literally, like two seconds later, you go, I don't like that. Or I forget exactly what the line was.

Contributing to the trash in the ocean. That was one of my favorite parts. And she goes, Nikki's not going to like that. I was like, yeah. Thank you, Brenna, for knowing me so well. Yeah, a fucking dolphin's got that ring stuck in its blowhole now. First of all, he doesn't have to inherit it from his mom. He could ask.

He doesn't have to pay for it. He could get down on one flipper. I forgot the origin story of that ring. Had he had it for long? It was like a ring he bought. He and his ex-girlfriend both had rings. One was a king. One was a queen.

The crown. I don't fucking know. One was a king. One was a queen. Like the crown. I don't fucking know. Clearly it wasn't that meaningful to him. So will you guys remind me what happened on the finale? Yeah. Wait, there's an episode before the finale. And it was, there was a big thing. It was the mansplain.

Well, it's not even that. It's something that my friend Jen and I were texting about, which is a huge thing. Jen. So the girls had their dates and they invited the guys over and they woke up with no makeup. And Jen and I were texting

that it takes us like 10 months, maybe even longer than that, where we don't wake up early before the guy to do our makeup so that we wake up totally pristine. Interesting. No, no. no okay that's very interesting first of all these girls are stunning as are you and jen i know jen um i am now in this new camp of like i i want to wear less makeup around men that I care for or care about. When you first started dating Chris, though,

and you guys- Well, I was much younger, and I was much more insecure. But how did you handle that? But when I've been a single woman recently, I used to worry about it and do the bridesmaid thing of wake up and put up. Someone recently told me

that they would wait it was oh wait it was you noah i don't want to say what you told me that you would do but it was really funny would you wake up and put makeup on before he woke up really okay noah can i say the thing that you and hollow were talking about you can go ahead and say it if i don't like it i'll just take it out noah noah used to wake up in the morning with balls on her nose wait what is it after a hookup and shave her chin okay and go back to bed because overnight there would be stubble from as many women like holla has a literal man's like stuff like like a beard you would be jealous like a lot of men would be jealous of um which a lot of women do i i have hairs too i shave my face

like on my cheeks and stuff um but noah would overnight the stubble would grow from hormones so many women have this it sucks so. So many women. You have to shave it. I didn't know that. Yeah, for laser, you have to shave it. You can't pluck or tweeze because then you have to wait a whole cycle, which is like months. Yes, that's what we have to go through.

I hate when sometimes a guy is kissing my boobs and I spot a long hair and I feel it flosseses his teeth i'm just like oh my god how did i fucking forget that one it gets like caught and he rips it out and i'm like oh it's like a pube on your tit um yeah but they're so long and skinny it's hard to get them i i just like six months in you wake up the to Larry the Cable Guy. Like you have a goatee. Andrew, do you remember? Do you remember seeing Brenna for the first time without makeup?

I mean, I know this sounds like cheesy, but like her not makeup face is like pretty close. So I don't really, you know. She was born like naturally gorgeous the other day i was on set somewhere and had no makeup on all day and then i got my makeup done and i walked out of my trailer and the amount of like oh my god God, wow, you look amazing, was so insane. Like it's crazy how much it changes.

But that being said, and I've really felt sad about that before because I'm just like, God, this is how you get people to like you is like you put on a fucking mask, you know? But now I know that like when I used used to have acne that's a different story like when i had bloody like pussing acne like i would need to cover that up and that is something that i would still struggle with to this day if i was waking guy if a guy doesn't like my face after the first night we're together in the morning because i look like tired and like my worst self and like no makeup we're not it's it's it's gonna be that's gonna be the end of us like i'm i can't i can't keep that lie going and we shouldn't be together and i'm not

gonna like try to keep that lie going there are certain things that i think in an early on in the relationship don't start farting in front of them don't like you know tell them every fucking thing that's ever happened to you about you know you keep some stuff and save it for later but your face without makeup i would break that out earlier than you you try to maybe incorporate that earlier and it you know i don't know though anya how do you feel about it yeah absolutely because i don't know i don't wear too much makeup but i i get what you mean about getting a lot of attention every time i put makeup on and i come downstairs matt will always be like wow beautiful lady i'll like make a comment if i have makeup on the dog

perks up yeah but how nice is that that we have that ability and men just have to look like their shitty selves all the time we put a tie on well no i mean like even that doesn't really like if you guys did wear eyeliner or like elvis did or you know um Styles like when he gets a little bit of stuff on like if men were to lean into that a little bit more and wear makeup that you guys would see too how much hotter you could be and it sucks that you don't get you don't get to

I was talking to someone about this recently you don't get to like it sucks that you guys don't get to experiment with fashion as much as we do like we really get to express ourselves and take risks and have more fun creatively with our fashion than you do. You're really limited. And if you do take a chance, you risk all your buddies making fun of you. And it's like it's really hard to start moving into something like even wearing brighter colors, let alone wearing, you know, tight pants or a dress or a skirt.

Had a lot of style. I mean, and they look great. Yeah, I know. I kept thinking, God, it's so difficult to be a guy because you really have to just be hot.

Or is it just that our standards are different for men? Hair. They can do something with. I mean, those guys lived, spent thousands of hours lifting i mean that's true they eat chicken they but i'm not kidding about like their bodies or whatever like i really think our show has caused a lot of men to have body dysmorphia and think that women

want that i'm not joking you i've written a couple men on dms that have been like the show has made me feel bad about my body lol LOL. And I'm like, I, not, if you're trying to win over someone like me, me no want that. I have no interest in having a guy with a body like that. Chris is starting to get really, really in shape.

And because he has these goals of like this trip he's going on and he just wants to see like what his body can be. It's not going to be forever. And I told him like i like you like he um over the you know we went to montreal last week and he was like i've been feeling really good about myself he's like cut and he's looking great and it feels great like it feels like oh my god like i'm with like a who's this guy that just showed up like every day i can see like gains and he was like i was feeling good about myself and then mateo i saw mateo laying

with his shirt off backstage and i was like okay well i ain't shit compared to that and i'm like i would not want please don't look like mateo i mateo is adonis he is so hot but again that guy to me does not have enough time for me in his life. All he does is work out. He doesn't have fun with food. He doesn't indulge. He's punitive. He's a little bit of a narcissist. And this is, Mateo's a different, Mateo's a thriving gay man.

And that's a different culture, I think, in terms of like how they keep their bodies. As a woman, I do not want F boy bodies. I don't want it. and I've never wanted it. I just, to me, that's a guy that doesn't, that is so obsessed with himself. Benedict's body was ridiculous. All these guys. There was one guy, I can't remember who, Danny,

who wasn't super cut, and I remember Taylor and I watched together. Casey isn't insane. He has a great body, but he doesn't have that. Yeah, I like Casey's body. Of anyone's body, I like Danny's, I like Casey's,

I like Brayden's, I like Asante's, I like J.B. I like J.B. I like J.B. I like J.B. I like J.B. I like J.B.

I like J.B. I like J.B. I like J.B. I like J.B. I like J.B. Peter, he's kind of thin. I like Brant. I like the guys that were just...

I just like a guy that looks like he can hug himself and feel comforted by it and not be just touching stone. It's like, I want these guys to be able to get cuddly. They're all too hard. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. They were all cute, though.

They were all so cute. It's interesting, though. They're all so cute. When you guys are worried about how, when I'm with brenna and like she'll have like pimples or whatever and granted i know she's a pretty girl to start with whatever but like when there are flaws like i never think like i never like look at it as a flaw like because i love her and if anything it's like it is just like but we're talking about guys before they

love you yeah like before they love you So like the third date kind of thing. Yeah, I get that. But that's really like sweet to hear and nice and comforting to hear that once a guy loves you, like it doesn't none of that shit would matter. And of course, they want you to be healthy and feel your best. But like they're not going to believe you because you have a fucking oozing zit on your chin. And when they love you, they really think you are more beautiful without makeup, probably. I know, it's weird. I don't know how to explain it other than

I'm a great person. Because the other guys don't want to fuck you. That's why. I really do think that's why. Men are always like, just wear, you don't need to wear that tiny little thing. Grow your leg hair out. I remember having a boyfriend say that to me. Yeah. And it's like, oh, you want me to have a cloak of invisibility, don't you?

Yes. Noah, grow your chin strap. Come on. Noah, what were you just about to say? Final thought? I was going to say I went to Warby Parker and I took Avi with me to help me find glasses. And I put this one, like these frames on and I kind of liked them. And I was like, and he's like yeah those look

great on you and i go okay but does the brown bring out the melasma on my face and he's like you're what i'm like the brown spots on my face does the brown in the frame amplify them and he's like okay i never even knew that you had that until right now when you literally pointed at it and he's like i don't know how to answer that and it's like your biggest not biggest concern but it's like one of your insecurities is like i see it all the time in the mirror how do you say melasma in gibberish okay thank you three syllable words we haven't gotten to yet. I remember one time having a terrible hormonal bout of acne that was honestly making me look like the elephant man. It

was so scary. I didn't know what was going on. And they were all like blistering and it was so bad. And I wouldn't let Chris see me. And I was hiding in the dark. And this was like 2015 or something. We were out in LA. Did he know you were in the dark? What do you mean? I just love him like coming into a room and not even knowing you're in. You're like, hi there.

No, it totally was that. He was just like, Nikki. And I was like, you just have a candle. Cause I had been at Equinox before. And I remember staring in the mirror at Equinox before and i remember staring in the

mirror at equinox and just sobbing and being like i don't even want to work on my body like my body does not matter because my face is like it's so bad and i know that there are people listening that have cystic acne and struggle with facial deformities or you know things that might sound what i'm talking about but i I just, I felt so sad about it. And I remember him and I've told the story before, I think, but I remember, and this was at a time where I did not want him to ever see those flaws. I still thought that like my love or his love was, um, conditional and like, you know, based on me looking a certain way and all this stuff. And, um, which he never led me to believe that it was all in my head and on my face and uh he i remember he just goes hey hey and i was just like i'm so disgusting

please don't turn on light like i don't know what to do chris i'm really scared what if i look like this forever it's not going away and he was like listen i am not going to pretend that i don't know what you're talking about there is something going on and that made me feel so good that he didn't go like, I don't even see it. Like, I know Avi, like, truly didn't see your malagasm of the guy. And that is great. But this whole idea, like, if you're a guy out there

and your girlfriend's like, I'm fat. Or like, I have this thing that I, like, not just acknowledging it and being like, listen, it's not like I don't know what you're talking about, but it would never register to me that that would make you any less lovable. That I think is the, the, the right answer.

Maybe I could be wrong, but for me, that was the right answer. Instead of him being like, I don't know what you're talking about because it was so obvious. And I hate when I was, I hate when I have something going on on my face or my body and it's really bugging me and it might not be a thing that make make that anyone else would even care about but when

people won't just go I know what you're saying I see what you're saying that really bugs me like I just want you because then you're not only fucking gaslighting me into thinking like no your face is clear like well then you're fucking blind like i want someone to acknowledge that there is a thing that i'm struggling with but that it doesn't bother them is is obviously the second part of that i guess and when the shoe's on the other foot do you feel the same way like if chris were to have cystic acne would you care oh no I remember one time this is when I was like oh that I finally understood when men say they love you no matter like when you when you love someone you don't care what they look like and this is how you grow old

with someone I remember we weren't even dating it was when we were still like kind of just friends and it was around the pandemic time and I was talking about getting on ADD meds at the time and he was like yeah I used to be on them but um you know I one of the side effects is like hair loss and I just I would literally rather die than lose hair like it's all I care about right now it's like my obsession you know as most 40 year old men are struggling with that and I remember just going like and looking at him and like I would not give a fuck if you were bald like get like like it was laughable to me that something was so of concern to him that to me would never change even though i know that he would be more attractive

with hair because just it's you know just based on aesthetically like the laws of aesthetics it would probably be more but also he would probably look like bruce willis without hair like super cute i just he could look face shape he could have facial burns and scars or like lose his head he could be headless and i was i just remember being like i know what it is i know what it means when people say they still love people even after they are you know disfigured where it doesn't matter friend i guess the hard part is what you were talking about like let's say's say if I was like, is my hair, like, you see, we all have like a little bit of body dysmorphia or hair dysmorphia. No, you're spot on. Yours is going.

I'm just kidding. Oh, oh. I'm kidding. Oh, oh. I do not see what you're talking about. I really don't. No, no, no. But my point is, is like if someone says, if it's something little, right, but it's big to that person because let's say it's a little bit of a bald spot.

And it's like, I know I noticed a bald spot. You see the bald spot, but you don't think it's that big of a bald spot, but they see it as a giant bald spot. Yes, yes. The hard part is, is going like, like you were saying, like, I do see it, but it's not as big as you think it is yes but it's like i don't know it's hard because like you don't want to give in to the dysmorphia i feel like that's why i think guys sometimes will go but the dysmorphia is saying well dysmorphia is saying it's not there that's more dysmorphic than saying yes you're losing a little hair that looks like a hurricane's you know you know doppler footage

there's something going on not a category there's a storm a bruin it's a there's a three there's kids playing in it for a half hour duct tape the windows but you know but we don't need we don't need to move but i want to live in florida yeah i think there's a difference between i i don't want to i would never like chris is losing a little bit of hair because he is like that it would be insane for me to say that he's not because yeah he is you can see it in pictures we were going through old pictures he's lost hair but would i ever cognizant like i would never look at him and go oh my god he is losing it like i could only see it from pictures and sometimes i see his scalp in his hair but when i look at his

hair but it's it you also pluck them out which is fucked up well i gotta keep him i gotta keep him locked yeah a hair a day keeps the girls away but it's it But it's not a problem. If it were, I would support him to do whatever he wants to do. Like when he kind of sometimes catastrophizes it, and I think it is like, oh, God, it's really bad or something. I always am like, I don't know what you're talking about in terms of it being so bad you would have to do something about it. But I'm not going to lie and say that it's not there.

Okay, that's a good answer this is not this is not we need intervention you need to get a transplant or something kind of thing i'll support you if you want to do anything like that in whatever way but i will not i am not i i do not see it and like i do not see it as a thing i would never go oh whoa okay i just always go i'm on google right now and there's like seven things you could do oh my god that's the worst too when my friends that's with carlisle when i was like crying that one day because my neck looked all wrinkly and she's like you can do laser surgery nikki there are lasers and i'm like what about just accepting that i'm gonna age and it's okay?

She's like, Nikki, it's okay. You will always be able to kill yourself. There's always a way out. And I'm like, thanks a lot, best friend. It is a weird motivational speaker. It's so, like, she's. It's a fine line. That is kind of what her name is.

Lynn Swan or whatever fine kill yourself I just called her Lynn Swan which is a wide receiver for the Steelers she is the fastest runner we gotta go thank you so much for listening to the pod today I will be back in St. Louis tomorrow we'll do it live from there

Anya will be here a couple more times this week. Very excited about that. Thank you so much for listening. Don't be cut. And Jack. Jackers. Lanterns?

Yeah. Jack of Lanterns. Okay. That's good. We'll take it. All right. See you tomorrow. So long.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You are cordially invited to...

The hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party. Your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions,

the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s,

tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night.

It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025.

I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There-to guide worried that you're not enough we got you self-obsessed and want to get over yourself there's a guide for that too the happiness labs how-to season starts january 1st listen on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts