The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #266 Pavement Angel

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

Nikki is really interested in why Andrew has a duck on his STL hat. They both had to hunt down their food delivery orders. Nikki is not feeling all that great since she has a crick in her neck and fighting her depression. Learning about Taylor Swift's new album gives Nikki life and Taylor's VMA after party outfit makes Nikki suspect about a possible life change. Nikki and Andrew talk about what gets their creative juices flowing and land on the origin of music. In Nikki's Reddit Dump they find out about a race in STL, that a penis is not breathtaking and who has a better orgasm. In the Final Thought Andrew tells how he pranks his girlfriend Brenna. ------------------ Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: www.nikkiglaser.com/tour Andrew's Tour Dates: www.andrewcollincomedy.com   More Nikki: IG More Andrew: IG  More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors,

it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Sheckner, Billy Porter, and so many more.

Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same,

our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to... the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour,

tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, still um and yeah we're just scattered holding it down on every side um it's uh i have a crank in my crank yeah crank crank in my neck crank crack crack crack crinkle crackle wait wait

what's that hat you're wearing stl is there a duck on that quack quack is the first s a dust i guess so. I never even noticed until you just said it. I don't know what that stands for. Well, who gave it to you? I bought it at a golf store. It's great, great material. But you didn't know what it had on it?

I don't look for ducks. You know that. If you know that, if there's a bird on it, I don't notice. Did you get a duck scout? Yeah, I got a discount. They have quack. How many vaginas are on that duck? Yes!

I don't know. She definitely closed them up. It's clearly a duck, right? I can barely see it. It might be a swan. But you did not recognize that that was a duck. You just liked the material of the hat. This hat. I don't understand how you missed that that was a duck. You just liked the material of the hat. Are you...

This hat... I don't understand how you miss that that's a duck. Well, I think it's a swan. I think it's a swan. Well, whatever. Some kind of, you know, nautical avian creature. I think a swan would make sense because it starts with an S. Maybe?

No. S-T-L? But I think that... Well, what does does it represent where did you get it i bought it at a golf store at the forest park golf course uh great material they don't got i think they got more ducks and forest park than swans that's true so it might be that that's a good point great material so you were just about the material you didn't really like look at it. Dude, I have a very sweaty, swampy head. It turns hats into cum rags. Every hat I have looks like I jizzed all over it. And I'm like, this is my look.

Because why does sweat turn white? I don't know. Because of cum. I think it's the cum. Do you ever wash them? Yeah, I do. But an hour later know it looks like a buffalo jizzed on my head and that one is just that one doesn't absorb that doesn't have one

takes on real good i've tried to come on this thing many times the duck is like i don't give a fuck uh i just love the idea of wearing something that you don't know anything about. Like that it has a little cute duck on it. I like the fact that. Boys are just so unobservant in that way. I think that. Yeah. Some people just, you just would never even look at that.

I mean, you know, yeah, I'm material. It's so clearly. I know. I love that he's showing off to us. It's so, and he's, he's hanging his head in shame, I guess. I'm not trying It's so clearly. I know. I love that he's showing off to us. It's so, and he's hanging his head in shame, I guess. I'm not trying to shame you. My head's up. But you really are looking down.

I'm trying to show it. Very, oh, you are. Okay, yeah. That is, it's so, it almost looks like duck TL. Now that I look at it, I feel like the T and the L are also animals. Do you like when people call St. Louis the Lou? Do you like STL? What do you like?

No, I like the Lou. I mean, and I'm proud. Nelly really did it, but I don't really hear that in conversation. Do people do it a lot? I haven't heard it, I don't think, in regular conversation. I guess when people... Yeah, maybe not. I'm getting a buzzing in my ear.

Is anyone else getting a buzzing? No. No. God, cranking my neck and a buzz in my ear can't win yeah i just know that chris does not like the loo he likes stl i don't care either way yeah but i don't i don't really think about that kind of stuff but you know i i i don't i just don't like well you're wearing a dog with a hat on it and you didn't know i'm trying to think of like if i grew up here would i be annoyed by more things probably you know like i mean have you caught on to like the fact that everyone from st louis asked each other where they went to high school is that like a thing you know now as someone who's lived in st louis for two years i'm trying to think what i've no like do you know things about st louis uh or like you know stereotypes not really i just feel like people can't drive here people drive without license plates there's

holes in the roads that will never be fixed uh the buildings look like yeah they've caught fire and then no one ever put them out certain parts of town yeah um yeah you put up that that post about shitting on st louis and how the people in ukraine are like oh my god there's a worse place yeah yeah it's just certain parts of st louis i just want to say that like you've driven it's this this is the place you see on when you're driving to the airport yes like a lot of st louis most of st louis is not does not look like that yeah i mean the joke wouldn't wouldn't hit as hard though if i was like this air between fifth street and 17th you know what i mean it's too specific but i just want to be clear that st louis i never growing up i never saw a bad part of st louis

well you grew up kind of in the suburbs you know this yeah but we would go to the city if you drive from the suburbs to the city you don't see a bad place it's like if you take a shortcut from the where we live to the airport you're gonna drive through some abandoned factory i had a moment is that where you're seeing it yeah when you drive to the airport if you don't go on the main road um i went well that's what i'm saying if you take the shortcut four mile shortcut and there was like four teenagers who had masks on not for covid really you know like it was like and yes halloween it was halloween early they they and i just that's another st louis thing we celebrated i put my car i put my i put my car because there was someone in front of me in reverse ready to reverse

out of trouble like I don't know I was scared yeah don't pull up too closely because you won't be able to get out of it

yeah I don't even know if that would work I feel like I did you lock your reverse into like a tree and then they'd laugh at me and go

we weren't even gonna rob you you drive a Corolla well you were reversing to reverse out of it why don't you reverse so that you can pull forward out of it I guess so I mean now that

you know could have used it you know so you were pulled up to someone too closely at a light and then you reversed so that you could

reverse out of it no I was just ready to reverse I threw her in reverse ready to go just in case oh but then

the light turned green and I almost just you forgot that you were in case oh but then the light turned green and i almost just you forgot that you were in reverse oh it was one of those moments where you're like am i being not racist but like am i am i judging too harshly or should you be ready you know it's like one of those things no there's been a lot there's a lot of carjackings in st louis it's like a thing that and shootings and you know in certain parts of town yeah it's ways will just take you through those parts of town with no problem you'll save two minutes get into the airport but then you won't even i love the idea that because that waves is in on it they're like like they're in their ear

like 44th and 3rd there's a guy in a corolla he's in reverse but he can't really reverse because he's a fucking loser you should rob him and and make fun of his nipples while you're at it and it's like what how did you know ways yesterday i mean are you are you encounter you encounter a lot of crime there i mean she you got your windows smashed twice windows Windows smashed twice. I got my phone stolen. Your phone stolen. Nothing like obviously too bad. Will you look up?

I had a... Because we're on a video. Yeah, I was just showing people the duck again. I just feel like I'm talking to a depressed teenager. Hey, I'm older than that. Will you look at me? We're talking about your grades. Okay, so yesterday we ordered food from a restaurant and the DoorDash person stole our food.

I've never had that happen. They just, they didn't. So when they pick up the order, they have to confirm it. The guy never confirmed it. I just see him eating our food somewhere, like in an alley. I don't know how that happens. you saw him eating no i'm just assuming that he was eating it because he stole our food like and i don't know what'd you order uh chicken wings and a kid's pizza and uh and a salad god he stole from a child yeah that's. Like, he didn't know it was going to two adults.

Maybe he was feeding his kids. You know he didn't eat that salad. Maybe he was feeding his kids, and I feel bad. Maybe. Oh, okay. So we called. So did you get your money back? Two hours later, you know, we called the restaurant.

They put us on hold for like 20 minutes, and then the restaurant's like. Don't call the restaurant. They have nothing to do with it. They're just. No, but they'll know. You know that they have nothing. They know if the order got. I didn't know that the DoorDash guy stole it.

Picked up by a criminal? Yeah. I don't know that. You can't just call DoorDash either. Why not? Because on the app it says it's headed your way and you can track it. I know, but it kept going up.

So then once it's been picked up, you can see. But then it kept going up and then it just... It was picked up but then just... So it got picked up. So don't call the restaurant. The restaurant has nothing to do with it anymore. No, but the restaurant will have some answers.

Wait, that the guy looked a certain way so So don't call the restaurant. The restaurant has nothing to do with it anymore. No, but the restaurant will have some answers. Wait, the guy looked a certain way so then you can call the cops and they don't give a shit? What do you mean? I'm not calling. I didn't yell at the restaurant. You think I called and was like, listen here, restaurant.

All I'm saying is that if you want to get your money back, you call DoorDash and you don't call the restaurant. That's just a waste of your time because did they give you your money back? the restaurant give you your money back of course no no if anything they charge more no what we did learn from the restaurant they really wash their hands of it we learned from the restaurant it's the only time you get the restaurant to wash their

hands before they make your food what we learned though is that they remade the order and gave it to someone else that did confirm so So we did find that out. So we knew our order was finally coming with a different DoorDash person. Then we finally wrote DoorDash. They called us. They're like, we'll cancel your order. We're like, we don't want to cancel it.

We want the food. They gave us $40 on DoorDash. So you just ordered it again. No, I didn't order it again. It finally came two hours later and we the order was 70 bucks and it was 40 and they gave us 40 back they didn't even give us the floor oh okay so you so they gave you 40 for your wait time because you got it a lot later yeah i mean has that ever happened to you with your door dash i mean it's it's well my uber eats yeah the

other night they they um here in la they said they dropped it off and i was communicating chatting with the guy because i was like bring it to the front desk just say it's for so and so and um and then he was like i did and then i called down and there's it's nowhere to be seen and so i just you know i just i know that the headache of calling the rest i'm first of all i never call the restaurant because that is not how you handle these things but i would i called i was gonna go through the uber eats and i just go no i'll just order it again like this is First of all, I never call the restaurant because that is not how you handle these things. But I called. I was going to go through the Uber Eats thing. And I just go, no, I'll just order it again.

It probably went to someone who needed it. It's fine. And I just said, I guess I didn't need that food tonight. And I just ate the snack bar. And then the other night in St. Louis, they dropped it off and they take a picture when it lands, which helpful because then you have proof that it is somewhere and i guess they could take a picture and then pick it back up again and take it but they had a picture and so i sent chris to go down and get it and he was like it isn't here and i was like there is a picture of it there and then i looked at the picture and it was not the front desk of our of our building and so i was like oh fuck so i just

study the picture for ideas of where this food could be. It became a little. So I knew it was at a hotel because it was the very side of a, on the picture, there was a very, it was like I was doing an investigation. There was just a sliver

of a Hilton Rewards honors member plaque. And I know it from tugging into so many fucking hotels. And so then I looked and I was like who is in the Hilton Rewards program within a vicinity and we had a couple hotels and so I called them all and Chris went on foot to go look at each hotel and then we finally

tracked it down. You did? So there are tricks like that. Yeah we got it and I'll tell you the food tastes better having like thought you lost it and then found it. Yeah you felt like a hunter We were so privileged to be able to even get yeah like yeah you hunted yeah yes you made an effort for it felt so accomplished i mean it is funny that you figured it out through like the photo and what's in the background and like oh like yeah i had to i knew it was going to be because i saw him driving and i was like okay he definitely brought it somewhere i looked at the address and i was like which hotel has my similar kind of address and it was across the street but it was

just like do you know that on one side of the street are even numbers and on the other side the street are always going to be odd numbers do you know that i know that do you do you know that like yeah or do you know that i mean yeah so like if you're looking for a dress that's 9 32 and on one side you're slowing down to look and you all you see 8 39 on the other side 8 37 it's got to be on the other side so many people do not know that that's crazy and i'm not saying like there's always like a certain side it's on whether it's like what direction it is and i don't know that towards me i do know if i look on one side of the street and it's um well that would help to know where my car is um if yeah on one side of the street there's odd numbers and

you're looking for an even address it's going to be on the other side of the street the problem is i don't even think people know what odd and even numbers are anymore i think that's how stupid people are prime yeah they're absurd yes prime are always going to be catty corner. My God, I had a dream where I was teaching someone what a prime number was the other day. Amazon Prime. How'd that go? Free shipping. Numbers that you get free shipped.

I think I was just teaching them like it's only divisible by itself and one. I think I said that and I really wasn't even sure if that was true. Were you teaching yourself? I think I learned prime numbers I really wasn't even sure if that was true. Were you teaching yourself? I think I learned prime numbers way too late in life. I missed that day of school and then I had to like fake like I knew what they were

for so many grades and then eventually I had to just like be honest with someone and be like, I don't know. Awesome. What side of the street do I live on?

It was a very big insecurity. Awesome. Awesome. I mean. Look, I get it. Like it's tough though sometimes with these bigger companies, cause you want to talk to someone and, and you know what?

DoorDash did a good job of getting back and like communicating, but sometimes you don't even know you write customer service and they put you to someone. I don't know. Sometimes it's very hard to talk to corporate people and figure things out in a timely manner. And you know what it is? They probably have so many issues that they're like we we got to be good at this like well it's like amazon like they they make so much fucking money and have so many orders that if they you know i returned that pink

mic and they were like are you gonna return it and i'm like uh-huh and they're like okay here's your money back so you swear you're gonna return it i'm like if you want that poop mic back i will i never did and i think i still got the money back but like they and when you return things they've tracked them before and it all ends up in a landfill they they lose money by restocking things it's a waste of their time and energy and um and so they just throw it away it doesn't they they have enough money that you can just return stuff you don't have to return stuff they'll just go here's here we'll send it again especially the volume that i buy from amazon i think that i am probably aside from like actual

companies spend more money there than anyone and they just go get just give this girl whatever she wants at this point they probably you probably have your own like packing station for you here in St. Louis and I'm not someone who um yeah probably I'm not someone who complains a lot about like getting refunds I kind of I just feel like that's more that's more of my time and effort than actually getting the three dollars back or whatever it is like there are times I get overcharged for things and I'm just like I wish it was a part of my personality to like fight for what's right and like I think I was just thinking the other day but I never look at a hotel like like I never check out of a hotel and see all the charges and I guarantee you I've been charged so

many times for stuff that I'd either the minibar stuff or even, you know, a lot of times places are I put down my credit card for incidentals, but it's being covered by the business that's flying me there. And I bet I've paid for hotels before just because I haven't checked that stuff. I'm just so bad about that. I always found that when I have to call and like dispute a charge or something, I always lead with why i'm calling and then i say are you able to help me with that and then just like being courteous and saying oh man you know like i appreciate this so much thank you so much for your help it goes such a long way that yes they just want to help you because they probably deal with assholes who yell at them when they have nothing

to do with it. Oh, they want to keep you on the line, because you're just keeping them from talking to another asshole who's not appreciative. Yeah. Yeah, it's so true. And then we're like best friends at the end. It's like, well, have a great day, Gail.

I just feel like some of these companies, though, if you don't pay them, they don't treat you polite. Like Verizon, they'll be like, we're shutting you down in a day if you don't pay them they don't treat you polite you know like verizon like they'll be like we're shutting you down in a day if you don't fucking pay like it feels very like uh accused like accusatory on a verizon if i don't pay like they're like 24 hours like they give you a time limit like they're a bully and i feel like they don't give a shit about you as a customer a lot of the time so i think that's why a lot of people give them shit back you know like i don't give a shit about you as a customer a lot of the time. So I think that's why a lot of people give them shit back. I don't think companies are like, oh, you can't afford it this month.

But it's done with a customer service. No, I know. It's always like the corporate executives that you never talk to. I'm just saying I think this is why people get mad at me. Do you ever set up just automatic pay, though, for those kinds of things? I've done it like three times. And I know it takes two seconds and I should do it. And I just, my brain doesn't. So every like you have to actually like go in and pay.

Yeah I get yelled at I get angry and instead of. Wait Andrew that's insane this isn't 1988. Hey look some of us just believe in. Wait do you have an alarm on your phone or something? Yeah I drive a stick shift what do you want from me? No I don't. Wait do you. I can't seriously do you have a thing on your phone that do you do this

with like your the like the bills at like your internet and your cable everything you don't do automatic pay for anything for rent you have a reminder on your phone no nothing and i forget the password every time for this i'm stupid i'm i, I would say, or not planning, being a procrastinator. But what if when you call next time to pay it, you just say, hey, can I do automatic pay? Yeah. What's preventing that? The three seconds of setting up automatic pay. Here's the thing, too.

I just lost my wallet. You think there's some fear you're going to feel, oh, you lost your wallet? I haven't lost my wallet. I used to drink a lot. And I don't know if this happened to you. It probably did. You'd lose your debit card a lot. And I don't know if this happened to you. It probably did. You'd lose your debit card a lot. And you wouldn't know what bar it was at.

So you had to follow the stamps on your hand like it was a map. That's how you feel when you're out with your food. Looks like you're looking for an Uber Eats bag. Yeah. And I would lose my debit card like once every two weeks. But I haven't lost this one for like five years. And I lost my wallet. Because you haven't drank in five years i lost at the golf course right completely sober and uh i couldn't find it and i get a dm from a guy saying that his father who has dementia

brought home my wallet from the golf course and it was just sitting on their kitchen counter. And the mom, his wife, found it. And she didn't know how it got. She thought an intruder. Intruder came into the house and just brought it home. And he didn't. And the poor dad didn't know, because he has dementia, where it came from.

So you probably just had it on the counter or something, and the dad just picked it up and stole it accidentally or on purpose and he's using it as an excuse but um yeah so then the guy goes i'll come and bring you the wallet so i meet him at starbucks and it's like a young guy who's and i was like you know i i was like thank you so much you know i i left it here and i started i started like doing like this whole story of like you know i i left it here and i started going i started like doing like this whole story of like you know i left it there and then i looked there and then i was wondering why and this whole time oh my god i'm already so this man has a demented dad he doesn't need any of this i'm so bored already the explanation so you have to make yourself feel better that you didn't lose

it it was what it was whatever it was just like just nervous yeah just like thank like being thankful you know being like this is why it was so hard for me that day even though your dad oh my god and he was like okay dude i don't need to know the story here's your wallet get the phone i was like he probably wants an autograph listening to my dad's stories a hundred times a day yeah oh did you think he knew who you i mean i guess he knew he knew through instagram yeah yeah yeah but he wasn't following me this guy's got a blue check mark he didn't he unfollowed me probably dude it was just so funny and then i get the wallet finally i canceled the credit card right away or debit card so i have a digital card now on my phone.

And then I lost my wallet a day later. Now I can't find it. Whoa. You lost your wallet? Yeah. Oh, shit. I don't know. What do you do?

You got a license in Missouri. Is it hard to go to DMV? Are you not paying attention? We have to go to break. We'll come right back after this. Do you not see the board she's been waving for like three minutes? I thought it said beak for the bird on my hat. Back to the deck.

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

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We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless.

I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in.

It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. And we're back. What's up? You went... Yeah, I lose my shit all the time. You had to go to the DMV. Because I don't have a wallet. Not... Well, this was months ago, but I remember you being shocked how easy it was

to get the license, right? That wasn't me. I think it was. I haven't been to the DMV in so long. This was like two years ago. When you just moved back to St. Louis? Yeah. No.

You didn't go? No, because I still have my same picture from um when i was there years and years ago what happened to your neck i don't know i woke up in the middle of the night and it's just i you know it's it's in that i just don't want to give credence to it because it's not a real physical injury. I hate when people are like, I slept on my neck weird. I'm stressed. I'm depressed.

I'm dressed to impress. Slept in a nest. Yeah, I slept in a... Maybe this is how I slept. I slept in a nest. Quack, quack. Not your best. I cannot laugh. I slept in a nest. Quack, quack. Not your best.

I cannot laugh. My neck has a thing in it. I don't know. In the middle of the night, it started. And by the middle of the night, I went to bed last night at 7.30 p.m. And then woke up, I think, at like 10. And then went back to bed immediately. then woke up again at two and then slept until eight like i slept 12 hours i've been um pretty depressed and just uh hating my life

recently but for no reason kind of thing and so i think it's just a materializing of that i don't know what it is but i noticed i don't even want to go get it worked on. Around your period. There's a lot of negative and you feel very depressed around your period. I've been tracking it recently and it's honestly

every other day I want to die. It's like I think because I've been tracking it your period just hanging out somewhere in a bag my period is it's i don't know what's going on nothing can you know what i think ah oh she's hurting boy here's a play-by-play i am not exaggerating it is so crazy well don't turn that way don't turn this way yeah i'm trying to find a place where it doesn't hurt but it's like even talking hurts it um yeah i've just been um coming

down with uh something all weekend been really um Is it when you have such a big high? I mean, you had such a huge high last week. I can only imagine. Yeah, I think these highs might be part of it, yeah. Like, we were talking about doing ecstasy and how people are like, oh, if you do ecstasy the next day, you, like, literally are suicidal.

And I've always been like, well, I can't fuck with that stuff because that's how I feel a lot of times. And I realized like, yeah, it might be that. But the thing is, I don't get like when for Kimmel or whatever,

there was no part of me that's like, oh my God, this is the best thing that's ever going to happen to me. I like, I'm not even walking on sunshine because I know that nothing matters. And it doesn't really, it's fun to do. And it was so fun. And it's a lot of like, um, I guess nerves or like, you know, a lot of effort goes into it and a lot of energy, but only for two days of my life did a lot of

energy go towards that. It wasn't like it was days and days of just me like biting my fingernails and being like so nervous and thinking about it not having to focus on anything else i mean i've had things like that in my life where it's like my specials and stuff where it's been like weeks of like oh my god this thing's coming up camel for me was not that it was just like wait till you get to it it'll be fun and then it'll be done and that's what it was but um yeah almost immediately afterwards it was a dark dark uh weekend of just a lot of um and i can't even cry that's the problem i'm so i've been reading about depression all weekend because i'm just trying to find anything that makes me feel like i'm not insane for the way i'm feeling like all I want to read about is other people that are depressed to just make me feel less alone I guess and every meme about depression

is about people crying and I just don't I don't relate to that at all I'm looking for any meme about people who are just numb that like don't I can't wait to not talk for three weeks because it's like how I really feel right now is like I don't want to hang out with friends I don't, I can't wait to not talk for three weeks because it's like how I really feel right now is like, I don't want to hang out with friends. I don't want to, um, I had to do an event on,

um, Saturday night where I had to, for this dog charity, animal charity. Yeah. And man, that felt like I would have rather climbed a mountain like i felt like i was seriously yeah yeah i honestly i cannot believe the amount of effort it took like to i felt like i needed a

sherpa to like pull the sides of my mouth up to a smirk like to just be nice to people like even getting on the elevator and being like hi like that and it's such a lame thing to say because people like have so i just every time i'm depressed i just cry like i cry on the inside thinking of people who have children or who have um just like you know hospitality jobs or you know door yeah i mean even that that would be a good job for me when i'm depressed because you don't need to be you don't need to see anyone necessarily it's a lot of just like knocking and just handing off and you know you're i guess you get reviewed on your so i guess yeah but like i just i really think about mothers and father not really father yeah imagine being depressed and then having to be there for a three-year-old like i wouldn't be

able to do it like i i just write to my friends and i'm like how has anyone ever think that they could be a mother if they like and then i realize people don't get depressed like i do and so it's just it's not the same like i did i have a different something to focus on maybe like because you wouldn't be able to have kids if you got as sad as i did you you would be a that it would be such it would be like having kids when you you know people have kids when they live in poverty and can't afford even themselves and they have kids it would be like that like i have zero to give myself so why would i ever have a child i think the child forces you to forces you to to either a snap out of it or it gives you something to focus on outside of yourself

i think when you are happy yeah and you're doing kimmel even if it's not like well you have something to focus on outside of yourself even if it is yeah i think it's the the void of work yeah exactly that's what i think it is. And I think kids are work. So it fills that void for a lot of people. Or you just go to your room and you don't help your kids and you just be depressed. I know. I was thinking about your mom. I'm like, I think I would be in my bedroom all day long.

This weekend I was in bed all day. I only got up to go get food and like go get coffee because I would get coffee to think like maybe something can snap me out of this I'll chug a diet coke like caffeine just looking for some kind of stimulant to get me out of it but um nothing was working and it's just like I just is it being away from Chris you think because he's on that vacation or trip no no it's a good guess but no like i i felt i mean he was really you guys were together a lot before like this trip you know so i don't know you seem pretty happy no it wasn't that at all if anything i'm like thank god i don't have a partner right now thank god i don't have anyone

who has to put up with this like i feel really like i don't know why anyone wants to be like i i stopped going to the girls chat because i'm like i'm just bringing this down i i've been you know chris is on his vacation i was telling him about like i just don't even want to talk about my life because it's just like, I have nothing positive to say. I have no good news. I have nothing nice to say. I am. You won't talk me out of it.

I am in this. It's like, I was reading about depression. It's like, you're looking through a straw. Like that's how much, that's how myopic it is. Like there's no good insight.

And honestly, my life is perfect. I have the boyfriend of my my dreams i am in a suite in the one of the nicest hotels imaginable i just hosted kimmel i you know i like the way my body looks i like the way my face looks taylor swift has a new album coming out that honestly lifted me a little bit out of my depression when i thought nothing could i'm not kidding you but honestly i have the best friends. There's no reason for it. It's just such a... And it's so

annoying to even complain about because I just don't... I don't know how to describe it, but it's just... I guess it's chemical. You just can't help it, but I think that's what my neck is now doing. Yeah, I did that too. And my journal was like, we can't take this.

Yeah, your journal was like, can't take this yeah i was like can you close me close yeah i did yeah you're writing a little gratitude list i i have uh i cleaned my uh because i the maids haven't been able to come in because i won't leave my hotel room and i don't know where to go there's a dead body however speaking. There's gonna be. No, it'll be on the pavement outside. But I... Oh, you'll finally get a star. Star. Just make sure you put your arms out

while you fall. Pavement angel. That time of year oh my god they just draw it around you they just draw the star oh my god that's like you're oh yeah when they come to do like the crime scene analysis the chalk outline they're like this actually might be the perfect place for it. Oh, my God. It's on top of Danny DeVito. And he's like, it's an inside job.

That's a reference to him being on Kim, folks. Yeah. I mean, I don't even get that reference. And I was the one that was there. Oh, shit. Oh, depression. It's so stupid. Depression is dumb.

I mean, because you can't even say like. Because there's no rhyme or reason. And it's just so, it's so obnoxious to hear it from someone like me who. And that's, I think that is part of it is that the amount of attention and everyone being like, you killed it. Oh, my God, girl, that dress. Keep that dress forever oh my god i'm dead dead oh you're that was incredible you need to be on late night like all of these to you know quote my dad accolades it's like this is the only way people love me

it's like that's the way it gets really sad is like this is the only way to get the love that feels first of all not even enough um because if it were it would not make me depressed two seconds later um but that's it it just i think it's a reminder that none of that this stuff doesn't make me happy and that's like and when the thing that you've achieved gone after your whole life to like make you happy and you're finally achieving it and you realize that that's not it you just go this and i know it's not it i've you know this has happened so many times in my life of these high highs where i'm like if this isn't it then what is like i don't even know. And I think that's the depressing thing is like,

you get this love that seems conditional because it is. You have to wear a really, you have to be thin. You have to look thin on TV. You have to have huge boobs. You have to have a dress that shows off both your thinness and your boobs. You have to be really glowy. You have to have makeup on. You have to have hair extensions in, which I finally gave in to.

I said I never would wear them again, but I wore hair. So if you think my hair looked amazing that night, they were hair extensions. It was fake. You have other people write. Like, I didn't write all those jokes. And people are like, did you write all those jokes? So people are giving me credit for jokes I didn't write. And I look at it at the end and I go,

what did I do besides show up and smile? Like, I guess my delivery was good. I guess my enthusiasm was there, but everything else was artificial and not me. So what credit can you take for that? I don't agree with that. Like you've looking at that. What do you mean?

Because it isn't fake. I mean, these are things that a depressed person would tell themselves like right like all these things like i didn't do anything that's bullshit like you well i did stuff look like anyone can fucking write a fucking one-liner like but no one can perform no i can't well i did a lot i did write a lot of those jokes my point is is like still it's it's like what i said in the last episode like you were the conduit for the talent that was backstage like some people are good at being talented behind the scenes and that's a good like that's a good thing they have have actual talent and skill but they need someone who can present in front of the camera and who can make

their creativity come to life. And that is what you are very good at. Do you think Hitler wrote all his speeches? Joke writer. Do you think Hitler literally wrote every word? No. How is that guy not? I mean,

I'm guessing he was depressed, but how are people that are actively like, I don't know. I just, um, I got to figure out another way. Isn't this kind of like what happened with like Robin Williams? Like the whole world thought.

No, he had Lewy body dementia. His brain was eating itself. He had steel. I think it was Lewy CK body dementia, I believe it was. Yeah. No, he had a Lewy body. Lewy, I think it, I forget the name of of it but it's essentially um yeah he had that so people think he killed himself but he he had a you know which is what everyone if you kill yourself

you eventually it's because your brain is not working correctly people think that people choose to kill themselves but it's really their brain turns on them as does everything that you do it's your brain it's not you actually choosing it but um no he had a he had a brain disease and sometimes i feel like it you know it feels the same way i think depression is that and it's uh it's not fun to have and i don't and there's no cure for it it seems like i. I just don't know what. Did you try a different dress? I'm going to keep trying. I'm never going to give up. I'm not going to ever do anything. Maybe a different dress would work.

That's what it is. Just looking a certain way. And then Taylor Swift comes out last night. Midnight. Yeah, Taylor Swift shows up at the VMAs. The first thing I saw was her dress. And that seriously lifted me out of a depression. I'm not even joking you like seeing her and like even though she looked beautiful and life and like you know young and all the things that i don't feel like i am it really made me

happy and then she announces her um album which made me depressed again because it was a album that all the songs are written in the middle of the night and i'm like never have i been in the middle of the night been depressed or like anxious and then written something or like made something and i'm like god i'm fucking worthless like she this girl then i start comparing myself comparing and then i see her second outfit of the evening and i'm like I don't mean to comment. I think she will tell us what she needs to tell us when she needs to tell us it. But that look gave single so hard.

I can't even like I can't. You just I don't picture. I don't think there are speculations always online about her relationship. And I don't want to add fire to that flame because she will tell us when the time is right. But that second outfit she wore, do you know what I'm talking about, Noah? Yeah, with the silky blue. Silky blue, like little onesie with stars. I think it might be Stella McCartney because it's kind of her style.

With the strappy sandals. And it was like a tiny little almost negligee bodysuit it wasn't because it was sexy i'm not saying that it gave single and by the way giving single single i'm trying out talking that way um but it just i immediately was like that girl's single like that's what you wear when you're like a single woman i don't know why i just have what about it like very sexy kind of thing like you're like a single woman. I don't know why. I just have a... What about it? Like very sexy? Like peacocking kind of thing? Like you're putting it out there?

I mean, she literally like kind of... She had feathers on that boa like a peacock. It just... It's like when you want to be seen and you're like, I'm free. And there's like this new vibe out there. Like we haven't seen Taylor dress like this. I mean, the VMAs look is one thing.

She's like bedazzled to the nines and like it almost looks like she's wearing a tangled necklace um and but that was like more vma like that's what you wear but for the after party look i'm just like that's a girl who is getting out there again but maybe i i mean i guess someone would argue well can i look free while in a relationship sure i don't want her to be single by the way i love her and joe's relationship i envy it i think they are perfect together i'm so happy for them they've been together over like six years at this point i mean that is not um i don't want her to be single again i i love this place that she's writing from where she's in love but i just saw that look and i was like i know that if i were newly single that's what i would i think it'd be

tough as like even someone like taylor swift after writing like some you know she's prolific where they're writing but like having to have a relationship fall apart to put out another like where does the career and being focused on having another hit like it's got to be tough there's got to be stress involved of like i don't feel uh creative at all i better dump joe put a bird suit on and fucking write some good lyrics like i feel like there is something that can play in someone's head when you do when that becomes your thing you know even though she's proven that like she could do more than that but no yeah she's written three albums now in a relationship

yeah four arguably where she's been in love so i don't think she needs it but um yeah i think well she's due then if it's been four she's like i mean there's only so much of a song you could write like he forgot to put the toilet seat down like like it kind of it loses its luster no i will argue i mean i know you're just making a joke but it's uh she writes about from that well that's where she got into different characters and she wrote from characters perspectives of books she's reading and her friends relationships and she would pull that's what springsteen would do and pull from i love that about bruce ringsteen he's like he was a he must have been an iron worker himself it's like you know like we had we give him that

trait of like a hard-working man but really he's just like a guy that like wrote a fun fiction story about like a tough guy you know yeah i mean when do you when does your creative juices start flowing because in the midnight i'm just like man this these are all songs she wrote in the middle of the night and i mean maybe that's just something she's saying for the sake of like selling the album maybe one song she wrote at 7 a.m and she's like well to some people that's yeah you know like but i i can't imagine waking up in the middle of the night i wish that when i was depressed or sad or longing like this stuff poured out of me or anything anything poured out i wish tears poured out of me but nothing does blood i think uh i i think also she might say that it was in the middle i don't know

she might have wrote it the next day about the middle of the night i mean that's like the the theme of it it's a good thing allowed to yes but yes um i don't know i i kind of think of jokes after something like that like if me and brenna get an argument i like two days later i'll think about why it was funny you know like maybe to like like i was thinking about how um the other day we got an argument i still we still had to do chores but you just do them louder you know and like why that's funny like getting mad at croutons and it's like really you're mad at whoever you're mad at you know what i mean but you're just like taking it out on inanimate objects but not that hard just hard enough the person knows it's just i wrote a similar joke

where i was like i'm working on my communication skills right now with my boyfriend and the other day i was really upset that he doesn't ask enough about like the you know the details about my personal life and like he'll just i just want him to ask about me more so i just really i like sucked it up and i just like zipped my suitcase like really loud and then i like went to the bathroom and i like slammed the door in a way that he knew that he needs to ask more questions like that that's how i choose to communicate but like sometimes that is the best i can do like sometimes most of the time i don't do those things i don't like even let him know i'm mad by like kind of setting something down

or like being weirdly quiet because even that i feel like is too much it's funny so i will just pretend like everything's fine so even that for me is kind of sometimes i pat myself on the back like good you let him know by being weirdly quiet like even that for me is like an accomplishment in communicating because otherwise i'm just like act like everything's fine don't lose your boyfriend keep him at all costs it's funny to think like that's how music was invented by people putting away things loud you know like to show emotion and that's like i could see like that's how stomp the musical was created. Yeah, it was just a guy that was mad around his house.

Just a couple on the brink of breaking up. Are you mad at me? No, I'm playing the trash can. I'm playing, I'm fucking putting away, or no, you're just putting, I'm putting away the trash. Yeah, but you're doing it to a beat. I see something here. You're really bad.

I really need to finish this musical. Will you tell me about how we have to go to your sister's for Christmas Eve instead of my sister's? Oh, dude, that's so funny. That's so funny. We got to go to break. We'll come back with more show that is so funny. That's so funny. We got to go to break. We'll come back with more show. That is so funny. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel.

Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money

so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and

contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers.

But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm Pete Peel chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe, and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen

Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, alright? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What if you asked two different people the same get your pound yes. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness,

and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my dog. Lingerie, topless.

I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me.

We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. Let's do Reddit Dump. Karaoke mode. This is your Reddit Dump. Hee hee hee hee.

I hate that guy. I love the laughs. Shit, my phone's loading oh fuck did you watch the VMAs last night I didn't know they were on I'm not trying to act too cool for school but I just I wouldn't have known either except it's all over

my Instagram so your Instagram does not have VMA stuff what is your like it's so funny that the worlds we live in that are on our phone what it's given us. I wasn't really on my phone that much last night, and I usually am. I mean, that's a. Why not?

I was just hanging with Brenna watching like a movie or something. What'd you guys watch? What have we watched recently? I'm trying to think. We were watching Insecure, actually, the TV show. Ooh. Okay. I love that show. Yeah. Yeah. She's never saw it. I've never seen it, actually, the TV show. Ooh. Okay. I love that show.

Yeah. She's never saw it. I've never seen it. The first season's really good. I like her new one. I like Issa Rae's new show. What is it? It's called Rap Shit. Oh, yeah.

Okay. It's so good. I remember the Insecure that came out around the same time Nikki and Sarah Live did, and we went to, there was like a red carpet for it. And you know, on red carpets, how on the background they have the name of the show all over it.

Yeah. And so it just, you were just standing on a red carpet and all of a sudden it was insecure all around you. And I was like, this is so perfect for exactly what everyone's feeling on this red carpet. Okay. So this is from the St louis reddit with just st

louis facts and so the question was what's a fact about st louis that sounds made up and it says there's absolutely nothing more absurd in st louis's history than the 1904 olympic marathon event i'm already laughing because it's so insane it reads as a mockumentary it was run on one of the hottest parts of the day on dusty roads of the 32 participants only 14 completed only 14 completed the race fred lores was initially the winner until it was discovered that he hitched a ride in the middle of the race thomas hicks became the eventual winner despite nearly dropping dead in and hallucinating after being hopped up on brandy, raw eggs, and strychnine. Anderin Kavajal placed fourth after taking a nap because of eating spoiled fermented apples. He nearly missed the race after traveling from Cuba and ending up in New Orleans where he lost all of his money.

He had to hitchhike to St. Louis to make the race. He had lost his luggage and had to cut his street clothes into shorts to run in the competition. William Garcia William Garcia was found near death after inhaling the dust from the roads.

The South American entrants were disappointments. One of which was one of the favorites, but finished towards the back of the pack due to being chased off the course by a pack of wild dogs. Wild dogs? Dogs, dogs, dogs, dogs. Oh.

Dogs. It wasn't in Forest Park. The chief organizer had only one water station on the entire course in an attempt to have an experiment on purposeful dehydration. It was an absolute calamity. Even reading it over, the whole thing seems completely made up. It's so absurd and it's hard to believe. That's the best thing I have heard in a while.

It's so funny. Oh, my God. Okay, another fact about St. Louis that you might not think is true. and it's hard to believe. That's the best thing I've heard in a while. It's so funny. Oh my God. Okay, another fact about St. Louis that you might not think is true. This was one that I was going to ask you about. You're expected to tell a joke for candy on Halloween. Did you know that? What?

It's the weirdest thing. We moved to St. Louis when I was five or six and we went out for Halloween and we were like trick or treat and they're like, okay, what's your joke were like we were like trick or treat and they're like okay what's your joke and we were like what and um it's a real thing in St. Louis you have to tell a joke to get before you get candy so every kid has like a knock knock joke before they get candy and if you don't you just don't like people will wait to hear your joke and it's only in St. Louis

it's the weirdest thing but like outside of St. Louis you just think it's joke. And it's only in St. Louis. It's the weirdest thing. But like outside of St. Louis, you just think it's a thing and it's not. It is kind of an, I think it's better than just going trick or treat and then just like sticking out your bag. At least there's some kind of exchange. Better to joke the more candy you get. Is that a thing?

Or like if you get them, if they don't laugh. Everyone just goes, oh, that's funny. You know, it's just laugh everyone just goes oh that's funny you know it's just some pun about skeletons or ghosts or you know they throw a tomato what is a ghost's favorite australian toy oh what boom or you know it's always just like something like that that's good i mean i just made that one up so it's pretty good um yeah okay so that is a fact about st louis you'll run into that the idea of these marathon guys by the way like

like how hard life was then where he's like like like people like during pre-workout they have all their electrolytes they you know they plan this they get in three days in advance this guy lost all his money in new orleans why would he even go to this marriage because he came from no i know but like i didn't even hear about it and then go i know how do they hear about it like it's not like he entered online and then he had to cut his jeans like word of mouth to cuba and then you just go it's wild you just it is wild and all they have to eat they like to eat beforehand you're not like eating an oatmeal with like eggs you eat raw eggs and like maybe a piece of bread and there's no water along the route there's no like there's no because a guy was playing dietitian like you

played an experiment on these people that travel to see about dehydration i mean it's fucking nuts uh we live in the best world ever sometimes when you think of what we are so lucky that we got in right before it all ends and gets back to really like we're gonna see it go back to that they're just gonna run the marathon in reverse of that oh it's just all gonna go backwards oh it's so funny to think like okay this is from the subreddit sex and it says men who are into boobs do you eventually tire of your of your partners or never ever just curious i love that he's into my boobs but do guys ever get to the point where he sees them and thinks meh and then these answers if they load sometimes i feel like i have to remind myself like oh my god tits you know when you're dating someone so long well you are the

only person who said that because everyone else is like no they're always the greatest things ever so we can take that no no you could leave that um i i i mean she has great tits it's just my brain doesn't click clink yeah sometimes you take them for granted i feel like yes but these answers are so fucking cute the short answer is no long answer no someone said i've been with my girlfriend for four years we were kind of nudist meaning we are home most of the time when we are home most time we are naked every single day she will catch me staring at her boobs it's even better when she is wearing something to show off gives me a tease even though i've seen them a thousand times literally five years in my partner is always talking about them and touching them and each time i put them in his face during sex he comes

quickly so i'm gonna say no um i've been fondling kissing sucking and coming all over these same pair of boobs for nearly 30 years and i am still i still think they're absolutely beautiful every time i see them never ever does it matter whether she's really small or really large first time 10 000 time always breathtaking no i still get irrationally giddy when i see my wife's 20 20 years in never ever i can spend hours like everyone is just like oh someone goes do cupcakes get old ice cream because that is how i feel about boobs but here's the thing ice cream does get old you eat it every day no it's all well you still are like it's ice cream like it's still exciting give me ice cream well maybe you feel that way i'm just saying i i think i don't think that's a bad thing

to to admit that you can get used to something no you take things for granted yes but no i think it's yeah i mean and then other times i'm like holy shit one thing that i'm always shocked by is that what about dick whenever i expose my boobs no we don't. The first time to the last time, it's never like, a penis. Like we just, it's not breathtaking. It could be if it's big enough.

It can be if it fills your throat enough. For sure. But I do think it's so cute, like how much my boyfriend of nine years off and on still gets um he like as like almost like of you know sixth grader like a middle schooler just like oh and just like so excited and i think the funniest part is that when when i send pictures or whatever to him I get such a better response on pictures where you it looks like a nip slip or it looks like you can see them through the

fabric as opposed to just straight up tit they love like the mystery of like are they there and like it is something so sweet about walking into a room and every single time if I have them out he just is like oh like just can't

he just like gets like so giddy like it is that is a very cute thing that um thank god for for that the novelty of tits because i don't relate to it um for anything on a man where it's like every single time i'm like yeah and there's no there's nothing i can relate it to not even like you know my dog can be cute but even his cuteness doesn't make me go oh my god you know babies like things that make me go still a breath a breathtaking view gets old you know like but i think there is something that's it's fun to hear that boobs kind of never get old and that the guys still like appreciate them or lie and still yeah or lie that's way sad here's another thing to be depressed about uh yeah your tits aren't that great like you're like

no that would never depress me i honestly would never care if anything i get depressed when he gets excited about things that i'm like i can't keep this up i'm not gonna be this hot forever like that is where i get really depressed i'm like just i can't it's funny to think of you my boobs will not always look this good them up they will no i can't keep um okay so this is from shower thoughts these are just like interesting thoughts people have no one can ever know which is more euphoric the male orgasm or the female orgasm but then someone wrote a really interesting thing in here that said pretty much everyone said that you know um people who have transitioned every and have had the surgery to make it so they can have a female orgasm

when they've only experienced male orgasms before, is that based on science and brain scans, female orgasm is way, way better than the male orgasm. Someone said, I think women get this one hands down. My girlfriend will orgasm for like 20 to 30 seconds while mine lasts like five seconds. Someone um there was a really good uh yeah mine is oh my wife says like it's like he goes i think i know um doctors can doctors can be sure and i'm sure have used an mri to record mri to record what the brain does whenever someone has an orgasm.

Yeah, men's brains kind of shut down during orgasms while women's brains light up like Christmas trees. I wonder if it's because it's tougher and fewer and far between. Like when a guy does an orgasm for months or can't, then it's like, ah! And it feels probably like a woman orgasm. You know what I mean? Because it happens so many more times for a man than a woman.

Right. Like you guys just can have them so much. But you also, we can have many more than you have. Yeah, we can have so many more than you guys can. I think that it would be more exciting for you because you can't have one on the back of another. You have a dormant period before you can have another one. We can just keep having them. And I don't think it's hard for women to have orgasms i think that's a you thing and that's a me thing like lots of women can achieve orgasms very quickly

the percentage was way lowered and i thought when we when we found out that women just don't have orgasms wasn't it like what was that wasn it like, I thought only like 30 something percent of women get, have had an, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Yeah. I mean, it's, I think that it's because, well, I was just talking to my friend who was trying to have an orgasm for the first time in her life by masturbating and she got a clit sucking thing and she was like, do I have to lift up like the clitoral hood and i'm like yeah yeah like the thing that's covering your clit you got to lift that up and then put it on

and i go how do the directions not say that and she gave me a picture of the directions they don't say that and then i looked online there is no instruction for women on how to masturbate except rub yourself down there there's no actual instruction girls if you are trying to have an orgasm and men if you're trying to give your girlfriend an orgasm and there is a thing on top of her clit the little thing that looks like a chewed up piece of gum that is like that's your um the thing that gets chopped up for your dick when you have a circumcision so that's a foreskin you need to get it out of the way to reach the clit that is not the clit if you're sucking on that thing it's like you're trying to put on chapstick with

the lid still on like what are you doing get that thing when you have the umbrella open i but people don't know this and young girls don't know this either you have to learn this all guys are so dumb we're just like oh it's already chewed on so that makes sense you like like oh someone else oh my god i was chewing on it this made me think of you i came across something on reddit that i quoted to my friends yesterday but i couldn't find it um it said something about how men tend to think like a woman with a lot of partners must have must have like a totally stretched out vagina and it's like what makes you think a woman that has had hundreds of

partners has any more of a stretched out vagina than a woman with one partner that had hundreds of times but men do think that like multiple partners equals like you have a baggy puss when it's like if she had one partner what if she got one partner that has a huge

dick and all those other partners have tiny ones and then there's a lot of math also have you ever seen porn stars vaginas they're all have tight vaginas yet they're getting plowed by humongous dicks it stretches back final thought the best thing up for this orgasm thing that i heard was um someone in here i can't find the quote but it said um that both your ear canal and your finger are both sensitive areas of your body right like the tip of your finger and inside your ear but put your finger inside your ear and which one is get which one are you feeling the most exactly so women have better orgasms is it the penis oh okay or like which one has more sensitivity if you think about it like you're gonna feel but isn't that weird like you don't feel i know noah's like my q-tip feels the end of it my my sawed off q-tip it is

interesting it's like but then if you fuck if you take your finger and you put it on like the point of like a table you'll feel it a lot on your face so that just just you gotta well yeah because you're not feeling the table your table is you gotta fuck something dead to feel anything yeah um oh yeah that was the thing it's very here i found it it's very puzzling how dudes could think of vagina gets looser from fucking 50 different guys but wouldn't get looser for fucking one guy 50 times i love that i mean this is like a riddle did you ever remember any of those riddles like um you know a guy uh here's what was it uh the ones where it's like there's a guy dead in a cabin there's a thing of water underneath them what happened or whatever i mean i left out a few things but oh wait yeah and it's like an ice

cube is always the answer and i think it melted yes okay this one says this is from shower thoughts i loved this one so much and please try it on brenna today and let us know what happens okay if you try to hand a woman something enclosed in your fist she is going to think you're trying to hand money or a bug even if you're known if even if you've known her for years and never have ever tried to give her a bug before they never let their guard down regarding being being handed a bug. Like a little lizard? Yeah, that's funny. That's funny. Oh, my God.

I can't laugh too hard. This hurts my neck. It's so funny that all women have their guards up about being handed a bug. If a man came up to me and was like, here, just take it, I'd be like, hell fucking no.

I'm not sweating my hand out. What else could be in there? Money? You've got a bug in there. A bug holding a dollar? Will you please film it today? I won't see her again today, but I will do it when I get back. I promise.

I will. Okay. Oh, my God. That reminds me of like, so like, we'll scare each other sometimes. And I know you don't like those kind of pranks, but she'll scare me. And I'll do like one of these like ninja, you know, you do the little like, or like, I'll get up like an alligator. I scared her. Like, she'll be like and i'll do like one of these like ninja you know you do the little like or like i'll get up like an alligator i scared her like she'll be like behind a behind a door i'll be showering and i'll think maybe you know she's in the room whatever and like next i know someone's

yeah yeah tapping my penis with my eyes closed and i'm and i think a little man has walked in for something i i don't know i have weird imagination i guess i'm fucking a little guy in there i don't even know anyways my point is i scared her this morning and she reacted like i was you know ted bundy like i have like 80 kills like i and it's just like it sucks that women but she didn't know it was you well she who else could have like she knew i was the only one in the house but like i'm just saying like i feel bad for women because i think like anytime you're scared like it could really be you're like we're gonna get so on your brain that it's raped and die when a guy gets scared it's like oh it's a little midget

guy that he's having sex with or whatever no but like i just don't think death like but you really think yes it's scarring yeah we immediately think yeah i mean i can't speak for all women but i always am like raped and stabbed and murdered and now i do live in a constant fear of and i think most people should of when you're walking on the street and you have your phone in your hand. I do not do that anymore. Like I have to put my phone away because I'm so scared of it. And when I hear people walking behind me, I go, because I'm so scared

someone's going to run by and take my phone, which is obviously, please do that as opposed to any of the other things to me. But like I, because I've had my phone, you have that, something bad has ever happened to you you're the rest of your life it's just you know that trauma that goes that gets encrypted on the brain that's why i don't like being scared is because that adds to your trauma and your brain even for that second that you thought it was someone it literally rewrite your brain has a physical marking on it from that when i got stabbed

through you know but which i've told this story before for years i couldn't be around not people holding knives and like right even if it was like in a casual setting or if there was like a joke like i would be like yes like it would it'd be fucking wild how afraid i'd get yes and uh yeah i worked as a fishmonger which they cut up the fish and it was like every day was like i would think about getting stabbed like it would come up oh my god and you weren't stabbed in like a way that was like a guy came out of nowhere and stabbed you that was like hey i'm gonna do this i'm gonna stab you to show how well this thing works so it wasn't even then you still have trauma from it oh that's

a good point but that that probably proves that you ever had trauma from the dog attack that didn't happen that you lied about happening so that you would your buddy wouldn't get in trouble i mean i didn't prove but i think getting stabbed in that way almost is scarier because it shows like oh you can get stabbed at on it by a friend on any day you know what i mean like horrible shit can happen no it's not scarier i'm not giving you that it's not scary what if i had a knife right now would you no because you actually let him stab you i didn't let him he just did it oh he didn't give me a choice but who would have known that you cannot stab a bullet a navy seal that he claimed to be what a fucking dick what is he's cool though

all right that's it for the show today which is pretty cool yeah what what that same guy yeah i don't know if he had a knife that time oh my god all right guys thanks to you for thanks you thank you for listening to the show how you feeling you sound better by the end um my neck is still an l but it's like getting it's referring to the depression but like oh oh yeah no No, my bed is calling me. I think I'm getting excited because I get to go back to my lair. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening to the show today.

We will be back tomorrow, hopefully in better spirits. But I don't know. This is pretty good spirits for me. Don't be cut. Jack Spirits. Okay. I've given up. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel.

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Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E, Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance.

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