The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #271 Finding Your Voice w/ Anya Marina

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

Nikki's "crumble" voice is still healing. She got some time in with Andrew and Anya Marina to talk about House of Hammer, Matt Pond PA becoming The Natural Lines and how singers break out their singing voice to their friends for the first time. Anya plays a song she wrote for her songwriting group called Earrape (disirregardlessly). They listen to a bunch of Fanthrax voicemails that cover Swifty dance parties, a mispronunciation, forest sex, 1st orgasms and dating advice.  --- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: www.nikkiglaser.com/tour Andrew's Tour Dates: www.andrewcollincomedy.com   More Nikki: IG More Andrew: IG  More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide.

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cuts. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello. Welcome to the show. Here Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, which I just learned was spelled C-O-R-D and not C-H-O-R-D. I was thinking it was all musical. I've been embarrassed in many text messages thus far. Yeah, you just think vocal cord, C-H, and it's not going to auto-correct you. So I've been looking like a real dum-dum. But so I am, this is maybe the third week or second or third week that I've been not doing the daily podcast.

So I appreciate all y'all's patience in not having a daily podcast. You know I miss it so much. You know that this is pre-op, as we've covered last week. So I don't know what my mental state is going to be as i talk right now but i'm guessing that i've already started finding some way to communicate and put out content on my instagram or on our social uh to get you know because i'm probably going crazy in my own head or i've probably completely jeopardized the healing process and started uh doing daily podcasts so my money's on that yeah my money's on you'll be talking by by friday andrew Collin is in St. Louis. I'm in Boston awaiting surgery that will be happening tomorrow.

Noah is in New York still. And we have Anya, who is Anya Marina, who did our theme song. And you've heard on the show many times before, my best friend, singer-songwriter. Anya Marina is visiting us from New York. How is it going, everyone? So good. I can't believe it's the last time we're going to hear that sweet, sweet voice for a while. This little crackly, crumble voice.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do today with it. I can see why you spell chords with an H because it looks and feels like a little raspy. Like the H is like... Chord. Yeah. My chords are going to not have an h afterwards i wonder what you'll sound like yeah i wonder if it will sound like that like even noah noticed that in my earlier stand-up my voice does sound a lot different i will say that there was a there's

a lot of clips that are being posted from different like meme accounts and stand-up clip accounts my past standup. Thank you for putting those out there. All those people that are doing that without my permission, please keep doing it because I don't do it. Um, and I really sound like this, like it'll sound like this, but it's also because it's going very fast and they change the frequency of it and they speed it up so that they don't get copyright copyrighted because, um, so that's what's happening there so that's why i sound like monica on uh season five of friends where she talked like this and she was always just like chandler come on we need to go here like all of a sudden season five of friends chandler's voice change and monica's change and is really annoying and if you listen back on repeat episodes you will

find that on tbs tv land i don't even think that's a network anymore they really speed it up so that they can fit in one more commercial so they speed it up slightly and that's why everyone talks a little bit faster when you hear all of the different uh reruns of these shows because they speed it up a fraction and in that time they save 30 seconds and they make you know a half a million dollars or whatever the hell it is in ad sales so if you're wondering why shows like big bang theory or two and a Half Men sound really fast, they're fitting in more ads. And every comment is like, you know, I love the material, but this bitch's voice.

Can you believe? She sounds like a rat dying. Yeah, it sounds like this. It sounds like I'm waiting from Crystal's season of The Bachelor, which is one of the best impressions I could ever do. But it didn't really work out because I want to be a mom. Her jokes aren't bad. Her jokes aren't bad.

It's her voice. It's just like, my mom's an alcoholic. I don't like to say she's an alcoholic, but I would say she's a shopaholic because she's addicted to buying alcohol. Next joke. That's good writing. For sure. It's just a voice.

I was listening to a show from i think 2018 and i was struck by how different you sound even then it was the luigi joke about luigi going down on you and you being like he wants it come on it's so i was horny when i told that joke so my voice changes when i get turned on when i'm talking about jokes like that um yeah there's a dog licking her butthole. What drama happened to you, Nikki? That joke was, even I go back and go, what's going on there? You did like 20 minutes on that.

I know. It was so funny. It was 20 solid minutes too. Matt was dying. He's like, this is insane. People just can't believe, I started banging my special with 20 minutes of a blowjob can't believe i started banging my special with

20 minutes of a blowjob joke and then i started this last special with um me going down on my parents like it's really weird that my favorite things to talk about are things that i truly have never like you would suspect that i would be someone that was like it was there all along she was telling us the whole time kind of thing yeah like if you look we were chris and i were just talking about someone who if you go through their history of oh army hammer have you guys seen the new um house of hammer documentary i haven't watched it yet but yes i know what you're talking about so in the first episode it's really good makes me hungry It's really What do you mean Why He eats bonnies

Doesn't he Oh god Listen That is not I have to watch it Oh god No You didn't watch it yet

Anya You were the one Texting me about it I just saw the trailer I sent you the trailer What Julie This is ridiculous

I'm having Julie Taken out tomorrow God damn it. Yeah, your Julie's going to be worse. I watched that freaking documentary because I thought you'd seen it. You're texting me going, listen, I saw that. Because Anya texted me and she goes, I guess you said I'm watching the trailer. I missed that part.

But she says I'm watching the House of Hammer thing. And these text messages that he sends these girls, I'm thinking Nikki would be so turned on by them because honestly, you guys, I put on the documentary and I was... Can we have an example? I had to put down a trash bag to sit on because the couch was going to get ruined. I was so horny. It's like, I want you to be holes.

I just want you to tie you up, sit there, and you're just going to be holes. I want you to be tied up in public and have everyone use you and you have no say in it. Like, it was about like, just like having, this is her love language.

I'm not joking you. I was so turned on. And then it gets to be like, I'm a hundred percent cannibal. I want to cook you. I want to rape you. Like it gets progressive very quickly, very inappropriate.

And I mean, this guy is an alleged rapist. mean you the way he you learn about love bombing you learn about just lying the the way he it's fascinating because i think it just gives girls and guys a good perspective on how this happens how girls kind of see a guy that hits on them in their dms he's a a family man. He they Google him, he has a family and kids and then how they go kind of like, No, well, this this is weird. He's kind of like hitting on me, but it's not that clear. And then how he then lies and says we've been separated, you know, like how the whole thing works. Because I think a lot of times guys I've

heard and girls who cannot relate to falling for a man who is married who falling for a man who says i want to bite i want to bite you i want to uh he left some girl a note that she was already in love with him they had spent hours on the phone together and he leaves he goes to her apartment creepily when she's not in town and leaves her note that says i'm going to something with i want to bite you in half or something like that. And when, in the context of all of this, this is the first time he's shown that kind of side. She's just like,

Oh, he wants to devour me. He, you know, us watching are like, what the fuck are these girls are so fucked up. Please. When you watch this,

be with an open mind of like, you don't know what it's like. You don't know these girls experience coming into these relationships, this like kind of judgment. I think that they get from a going for a guy who clearly is married and might be lying about that. But even so, they like leave your judgment at home. And really, I was I got a DM once from from someone who mentioned rope bondage and who was a famous person that I was like, oh my

God, is this person like, I saw a blue checkmark, I'm like, is this one of those fake blue checkmarks where they like do an emoji in their name? You know like there's that emoji that looks blue and can kind of trick you. The Turkish eye. Yes. Yes. You were using it for years.

And so, you know. Yeah, well, it worked out. It was good luck. I actually got one. You got to. You have to tell your Brenna. Brenna is blind. I think you piss on it.

It's good luck. I had to turn that phone in. Okay. But I remember getting a DM from someone very famous and going, oh, my God. Like, I know who this is. This can't be the real person it's probably just a fake name and a fake emoji and then i looked into it has millions of followers and then i was like oh my god this is the person and they were talking suggestively about um sexual stuff

but not not saying they want to do anything with me um but just putting it out there and i knew that i could pick up that rope and have them tie me up with it if i wanted to but um i did it because i was a little bit older and knew that i don't want to get involved with a person with what you hate home depot well he brings these girls to hardware stores yes i swear to god so he was talking to this one girl for a while. It's manly. And she is, you know, he just met her at a bar in Dallas. I think he was visiting. And she's just a business owner in Dallas.

Sweet girl. And she meets him at this bar. They hit it off. They start talking on the phone for hours and hours. Finally, you know, he's separated from his wife. It's like announced in the papers and everything. And then she goes to LA to visit. And he convinces her to go to Palm springs with him and they go up there and

they go you know after a couple nights it's just it's heaven she's like he's all over me he's so attentive he's so loving he's so like lovey-dovey like hand on my lat like leg constantly like holding my hand like all these things when you're a woman watching this going like yep i would be i would do anything once this famous hot guy is showing me all this attention i'm just a business owner from dallas i'm like how is this celebrity scooping me up out of nowhere this guy that has oscar buzz from call me by your name like he's successful he's handsome he's rich he's all these things he's a good father seemingly um and then they go to the hardware store on like the third day and she's like he's talked about rope bondage and she's just like not into it but he she knows it's like something he's really into and you know

we all kind of make uh you know uh you want to be open-minded and game. GGG, as they say. Yeah, GG. What is it? Game. Yeah. What's his name? Dan Savage. Dan Savage coined it. It's GGG.

Giving. I forget it. No, we use Google GGG against Dan Savage because it is a good little acronym that Anya and I are both really struggling with. Giving, game, and it's probably gastrointestinal issues are not working that day. Gig, gig, gig, gig, gig, gig, gig, gig, gig.

That's what I sound like when I cum. It's good, giving, and game. Good, giving, and game. Good, giving, and game. Yeah, like you just want to be GGG and so or Gigi Hadid. You want to look like her because she just looks like she's good, giving, and game. Good, giving, and game. Yeah, like you just want to be GGG, or Gigi Hadid. You want to look like her because she just looks like she's good, giving, and game. And having G-forces applied to her face

in the opposite direction. So they go to the hardware store, and she's kind of just like, oh, God, I don't want to do this, but I'll do it. And they're out of rope, and she's like, yes! Like, she's so happy. So he's been there before. They're like, again? Again, army?, yes! Like, she's so happy. So he's been there before. They're like, again?

Again, army? They're like, we only have so much rope in Palm Springs. What are you making out there? He's like, oh, it's put in the deck. You know, the deck is almost ready. Yeah, they're like, rope for the deck? Really? He's like, oh, just the pulleys and the levers.

You know, there's lots of that. Yeah, I'm doing an ancient style. Yeah, a just the pulleys and the levers. You know, there's lots of that. Yeah, I'm doing it ancient style. Yeah, a lot of pulleys. Do you know how the Egyptians did the pyramids? And they're like, no, we don't. That's still a mystery. He's like, well, we're doing, well, so is this. So what you do is you tie up 90 women and use them as weight to pull up a rock to make my new house.

I am not wanting to make jokes about this documentary because it is grizzly and then the second episode gets into yeah it's episodic yeah there's three i believe and jen my assistant has watched um the last two i watched one and two um and it just gets into his family and how this kind of you know abuse of women and uh like it's it's generational and it's passed down and it's like they kind of showed how to treat women and um but he is a monster and i just want everyone listening if you aren't going to watch the documentary please do not partake in army hammer jokes about him being a cannibal and how ha ha ha he's going to eat you this is so far beyond that and people need to know that this man allegedly raped his ex-girlfriend um tied her up uh this woman he was seeing for a while

tied her up one night she didn't want to do it but she was kind of like okay he pretty much what they discover is that he he uh dates these women who don't really understand BDSM culture. And neither does he because he uses BDSM as an excuse to get away with really abusing these women and having it be like, well, that's what it is. It's like I get off on you crying and telling me to stop. And then I essentially keep going. And that's my kink. That's my thing.

And that's BDSM. Last night was so amazing and she goes it wasn't i was crying and i did not like it he was like you crawling away from me crying on the ground made me feel so powerful you saying no i want like and so i bet i just want to say this is so about rape it's not about cannibalism that is just a that is so what he would want this narrative to be because he has an excuse of like, I was just saying fantasy things. Those were just texts.

This is about rape. And if you look into it, just please don't, if people are making Armie Hammer cannibal jokes, ruin the mood of the dinner that you're at by saying, do you know he actually raped his girlfriends? Because that's what I've been doing for years now. Because it's just such a joke. I think that sometimes these things can turn into jokes yeah it could just be it's so outlandish

that it doesn't hit people yeah that even though he admitted to cutting a deer's heart out and eating its um heart its beating heart like warm from its body and that's how much he loves flesh and he is 100 of cannibal he's he says he's never admitted to anyone let me just say you can say all these things in a text you you can lie you can say that that maybe is a fantasy of yours if you do it it's a different thing um and i don't see any difference between cutting a deer's heart out and eating it and eating animals so that to me doesn't really bother me but what i'm saying is that he really does have these tendencies i believe to eat people and want to like any. He used to bite these girls.

There's bite marks everywhere. He thought it was like a sign of like, I love you so much. And you're wearing. And these girls even convince themselves like he wants to mark me because I'm his. But then, you know, this one girl he's dating, all of a sudden she sees in the tabloids that he's on a date with rumor Willis. And he's got his arm around her in a way. And she goes, I zoomed in on his hand on her like, her like you know hip and it was just the way he touches me and it was just i mean that to me

was just so devastating to to see on like perez hilton the guy that you're in love with like doing the same things with someone else it must be devastating anyway do you recommend this documentary yes i do i do because i want people to i will say that there is one victim effie who was the original one that that started putting out um screenshots of their dms this is the one that um later hired gloria all red and accused him of rape and um all these things and she later showed her face at first she was all anonymous through gloria all red she was jane doe and then she came out as herself and as on tape and it's very brave and um she has said though that the documentary um seems to be i don't know these are her words

glamorizing what happened making it uh sensationalizing it and she's saying that the producers of the documentary essentially are doing the same thing that army did to her of like when she says no they kept going so i will say maybe look into that before you watch it but just do a little bit more digging on this guy then has he come out and apologize like a full-on apology you know or you know what andrew do you remember that whole story about him working as a timeshare manager? Oh, when we were down there? Yeah. No, not when we were down there.

So we were in the Cayman Islands, and Armie Hammer was there. He's from there. Yeah, he's from there. Or his family moved there because they're super rich, and that's where you go when you want to hide money. So he grew up there a lot. He was, I think, born in LA but he so I think like probably four months ago or less than that oh yeah it came out that he was selling timeshare timeshares and it's true he

really was at first it came out it was a fake store it came out everyone was like he's selling timeshare that's so weird then it was like that's a fake story and then someone was like no it's it's actually real he was selling timeshares. He's been cut out of the family fortune. He can't get acting jobs anymore. And he was selling timeshares. And he was selling timeshares at the resort that we stayed at, the Moritz in Cayman.

Which is, if you've been there, it is not a luxury place. It's really kind of not. Now I feel bad for the guy. I mean, in a way, there was that in my head. That's how shitty it was. He does jet ski rentals too, I heard. Don't go parasailing with him. The rope...

Actually, you can trust him. He knows how to work a rope. Anyway, I wanted to say before we go to break that I really would love everyone to check out a song that I've talked about on the podcast before by The Natural Lines, which is Anya's boyfriend, Matt Pond. He is my tour manager and he is Anya's fiance. Sorry, not boyfriend, fiance. And he has a new song out.

And I really respect Matt for doing what he did, which is he went from being Matt Pond, PA, which was his band name or his name? Yeah, his band name. And he went from that to? The Natural Lines. And what was this decision to shift into a completely different, like it reminds me of what I'm trying to do in terms of like completely rebranding. I think he had been toying with the idea and then he got signed by his dream record label. Simon Raymond from the Cocteau Twins has a label

and he has like Father John Misty and Beach House and all these amazing bands and they're based in the UK and he floated the idea to Matt about changing the name. And Matt was like, I've kind of always toyed with it, but really, do you think? And so the label was fully on board so then they went with it but it is so scary to completely so scary he's already like i've lost followers i don't think people know that like i changed my and they're like who's this guy all the time

it is such a risk it's like can you imagine just starting over what would your name be well that's why i want to over well that's why I'm trying to decide it. Like they go from a band name to then their own name. It's not usually the other way around. I remember Dave Matthews saying he regretted making that decision as a young man to go with Dave Matthews. Dave Matthews Band. Also, Matt was like, it's not just about me. It's like all these other people I collaborate with. So it feels correct to make it a band.

Yeah. Well, The Natural L lines is the new band please compensate for the lack of followers he has now because people just thought all of a sudden they got a new you know sometimes you just start following someone you're like how did this happen like how did the youtube record get on my phone yes so um yes exactly so follow the natural lines the new song the problem is me is so freaking good. I cannot stop singing it. I sing it all the time. I'm obsessed with it.

I love it so much. I hope everyone listens to it. It might not be for you, but at least give it a listen. And I bet it will be called The Problem Is Me by The Natural Lines. I would really love you to support him. He is just such a good musician and has helped me a lot musically along with Anya but like it is we'll go to break now but I do want to talk about with Anya a little bit about what it's like to like figure out when you're an artist even Andrew too like you struggled also with your identity as

an artist when you started out and we'll talk a little bit about that when we get back with Anya Marina, PA. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. It is our weekly episode while I'm recovering from vocal cord surgery um we talked about anya's boyfriend rebranding like 20 years into his career maybe more right i mean this is a huge deal this isn't just like a persona he's taking he's doing a ban on the side like ziggy stardust like i'm just gonna this is a dramatic shift Matt Pompier is no longer he is now the natural lines when you were coming up Anyam one of my favorite stories about you finding your voice as you were in your car trying to figure out like what do I sound like remember that yeah I was listening to Liz Phair's record Exile in Guyville and I had a little tape

recorder like those little handheld things and i was just like i want to be a singer i had just seen liz fair perform live with jewel opening the show jewel was an unknown and jewel was so funny and telling all these stories and playing songs all alone on stage captivating a sold-out crowd in san francisco at the warfield and i was like i want to do that like this is what i want to do but I don't have a voice like Jewel who was like the Adele of the time. Had you written a song before? Did you play guitar at this point?

I had written like little song sketches, kind of like little, you know, like one minute long things or like little, but not really. I was just in my car singing into this recorder because Liz Phair had a very imperfect voice at the time and I was like, that's probably what I want to sound like. It's kind of like

like it's kind of like she kind of sounds like she's got an attitude all the time like a jean jacket i thought it sounded like someone talking like if i'm talking like this and then i want to break into a song i don't want to sound completely different you know like i want'm talking like this and then I want to break into a song I don't want to sound completely different you know like I want to sound like I have heard all over the place that's how she sounds it's like

not too far from talking voice so I was like I want to be that I don't want to be singer songwriter kind of yeah so then I was just playing around and man that tape is probably filled with so much embarrassing stuff experimental i just was like doing a head voice and then a chest voice and then finally i hit something i'm like that that that that's it like somewhere in there keep honing that and i don't know what it was but it's probably similar to what my singing voice is all

i talk about with my vocal coach is like what she's going to really help me, the one that discovered the nodes on my throat and had this whole thing, this all happened, my friend Amy, she's going to help me find that voice because it is, I've been doing a new bit on stage and I kind of want help with it, but it's about how, I don't think people realize if they're not singers

or not attempting to be, like, you don't just, it's rare that you just start singing and that like, that's the way your voice sounds and that's the way it's, I mean, Broadway has a certain like, if you're singing like this,

like very articulate and everything's like this. And then there's like, I like that. You sound great. Yeah, it's like, I got up in the morning and I went like, yeah. put on my wig and I said hello to the birds outside and then I started to sing whoa so there's that and then like

you're saying there's like the head voice of like if I'm singing up like singing up here is like a like a falsetto like in your nose and then there's like down here i mean when you choose your voice it doesn't just come out of your head sometimes it does so i was trying to think of a bit about um and i did it i think i tried it maybe i didn't try it in vegas but about um neil young i'm like i want us all to like i just want to bring up ne Neil Young and be like you know for instance Neil Young like I don't think you guys give a lot of thought to like

how much goes into a singing voice and how weird singing can be because Neil Young is like he was just like a rocker and he talks like this man I mean if you've ever heard Neil Young he's kind of like has a ponytail he's just like a dude and the first time Neil Young sat his friends down and was like guys

i have like a song do you guys want to hear and they're like neil fucking yes you've been playing guitar you rock out you have so much passion about like the vietnam war let's like hear it dude let's fucking rock and he's like here it goes well i went into a meadow crying and i thought about the bees and they were like is this the old woman in the shoe why do you sound like what susan boyle sounds like what's going neil young that voice i remember the first time i heard neil young's voice it was just in my parents car i did not know it was a man and then when i matching it you go it but you don't question it because you grow up with neil young you don't question that that had to have been the choice yeah to sing like this and whiny because i'm dreaming up like that's not a man in the free world he he does do some rock

voice doesn't he i don't know i don't know him well enough but i'm thinking of course with no names yeah that just had to come out i mean i've talked about bob dylan before like singing like this and i mean he kind of talks like that too eddie vetter does like kind of talk like this and dave matthews sounds like he sings but a lot of people you gotta like make uh like even when halsey sings like this and she's a a little baby, and she's talking like this, and she's a bikini. She had to decide to sing a little bit of a little baby with big old lips and a bikini. But everyone has his style. I hope at some point we can talk about Selena Gomez on Only Murders in the Building, because she does talk like this, and this is her speaking voice, which actually is- It's almost a little bit more deep like this.

Yours is almost too high, because it like deep like this like yours is almost like too high because it's almost like this and like what's your singing voice like i kind of it's the same andrew it's like hello i had to lose you to love me but how much of it is is having a specific voice like it doesn't matter how good it is like there's millions of singers that just sound pitch perfect and no one gives a fuck well it's not about like everyone pretty much sounds pitch perfect i'm saying like there are singers that sound like it no matter what you sing like you have to make a choice whether the choice is not to make a choice you know like if i'm just singing like the way i talk like sometimes when i would be in my voice lesson and anya i'm sure i'm just like repeating things you you should be talking about this more than me but because I'm getting

into the logistics of it sometimes I would be singing a line like um um uh I'm trying to think oh like uh she's so lucky she's a star but she cries and cries in her lonely heart thinking and I would be like okay well my voice teacher would go hold on we're just getting away from it now because you're just singing it and you're just repeating the way you've heard it your whole life britney spears singing it she was like what if you just say that those words and i'm like she's so lucky she's a star but she cries and cries in her lonely heart and she goes okay now sing it like that like that is a good practice of like oh i love that and then you go she's so lucky she's a

star but she cries and cries and like and then it brings out this emotion sometimes you got to take the lyrics because the lyrics get separated from what you're really trying to say especially if it's a song that you've only heard sung um i found that that was an interesting technique but i'm really excited to figure out because my voice can, and so can yours, Anya. I mean, your impressions are uncanny. I feel like you can do so many different, you could have chosen so many different singing styles in terms of how your voice is.

I wish I could. I wish I had more control. I cannot belt stuff out. Like Nikki can imitate anybody. Singing wise, I cannot. My dentist once told can imitate anybody. Singing-wise, I cannot. My dentist once told me I have the larynx of an eight-year-old boy. And he knew that because of the circumference of his dick. I was like, what do you mean?

What do you mean, sir? That was so creepy. It's very specific. It was odd. But he said my larynx is particularly small, which kind of made me feel better because I've struggled with like, when you belt, instead of trying to put all the air behind it and push it out with air,

hold your breath as you're belting, which sounds crazy, but it actually worked because I was working on this one, you know, the song August that we always play. That's like, the bridge is like, back when we were changing for the better, wanting was enough to live for the hope of it all cancel plans just in case you call just meet me behind the mall so much for summer love saying us because you weren't that mine to lose i always struggled

with the mine to lose because i was trying to put the breath behind it but then she goes just don't just hold your breath and still say it and And it worked. So you might want to try that out. But it blew my mind because my past voice teacher, who was an operatic voice coach, who was so experienced, so recommended, she was like, you always breath dump, Nikki. Which is like, before I would say a line, I would just go, like, I would like, so much for saying love and say, and then I would just go like I would like um so much for saying love and say and then I would I would

breathe it out before I would start saying the word and she was like no you need to breath the breathe to push it with your breath and then this other coach I go wait I'm supposed to hold my breath so it just helped I don't know if any people out there if you want to try to hit notes in your car just try to hold your breath and sing it and not let the air out but i am just like even we were talking about this last week with andrew about um when he first started when you're a comedian finding your voice and like how you feel ridiculous because you don't have jokes yet really you don't know what you're doing you're kind of throwing things out there you have to like put out so much bad stuff to find the good you got to sound bad first to find the good and to find what works you got to like to find what works it's so rare that someone just gets it the first

time like you're gonna have to sound kind of ridiculous andrew started out with a character andy shallows that would just do one-liners and he had a wookie playing slide guitar and behind him to just like and what what a leap that was to start that way yeah before anything else yeah i i started that it i don't know i think i was so scared to just be myself up there that it gave me a it was a security blanket and i also had all these like one-liners written so i was like i didn't want to just i don't know i i saw zach galifianakis purple onion yeah and he did it to the piano and i couldn't play piano i couldn't play guitar but my friend had dressed like a wookie uh normally uh not even as a joke he would just well guess for no one else he would wear it around town

so i was like maybe he'd want to do it for a reason it's so smart and so i was like because it's yeah it was unbelievable like it really was a spectacle to watch and people lost their mind sure seeing this wookie and he was like seven feet i put big shoes on him he was in lederhosen and i didn't make a joke about it I didn't make a joke about it. I didn't make a joke about it. Was there a part of you? Because for me, I feel like I would do that because if someone didn't like it, I'd go,

they didn't like the Wookiee. It wasn't me. Was there a part of it? Was that a part of it for you? Or were you just trying to do something that was so funny in multiple ways that there was no way to fail? I guess it was a little bit of both.

There was something pretty punk rock about doing something so different. Like I was on a lineup and it would be like, like a bringer show. Yeah. And everyone's like, yeah, what do you,

what do you do? They're like a Wookiee's getting dressed. And I'm like, yeah, that's my Wookiee. They're like, wait, what's happening?

And then every, everyone lost it. Like people loved it. Like the owner, the improv loved it. And if I was, if there was a moment though well the wookiee got a girlfriend and it broke the band up because he chose her over me we were doing uh

open we were doing open mics in in florida for like three people in front of a fish tank and he's dressed he's sweating like crazy in the Wookiee costume for four people. It's a lot to commit to for a little open mic and especially when you're starting out in Florida, all the shows you have to do in the Wookiee costume. Did I pay him with compliments that he couldn't hear because of the mask? Of course he didn't.

Because Andrew wasn't getting paid, I don't think. Oh no, I was losing money. He was in it for the love and that's why he got out of it. But it's interesting because you did, listen, like going into it, Anya, you were inspired were inspired by liz fair that's what got you going like okay i like that way what she's doing andrew you watch purple onion uh zach galvanek and you're like okay one-liners that's it the music thing that's it also you picked um you know jack handy deep thoughts and that's what led you to like oh these aren't deep thoughts these are shallow thoughts andy shallow like we're all inspired by other artists like i always say

you know i am talking right now with my hands like this because i imitated sarah silverman early on like i do jennifer aniston things of like oh no oh like because i but that's just become who i am because it's what you pick up my voice is husky because my mom it isn't because of the shape of my cords it's not because of the damage it's because it's almost like an accent that you have I grew up with a mom who I admired who had a gravelly voice and so I mimicked it so you pick up on the things you love and then you can't help but as you grow, become yourself and find out what works. And then, but in comedy, and I know you've heard this a million times, it takes, they always say 10 years to find your voice. You heard that, right, Andrew?

Yeah. And I remember Tom Segura, who is a, whatever, a friend of mine who I asked before I really started doing, he goes, it's going to take you 10 years to just be yourself on stage. And I was like, what, dude? And now it's like never more than ever. I am about 11 or 12 years in. The problem I have now is not doing jokes or telling a story and not doing... But that's you, dude.

But that's what I'm saying. You found it. You tell stories. I love that you're leaning into longer form storytelling, not just joke, joke, joke, because you're capable of it. You've proven that. You did 10 years of doing that. And now you're always been a story guy.

That's always been what you gravitate towards. You collect stories. Your life is just a story magnet. The amount of stories you have is insane. That's why you have a segment called Andrew's Short Story Circle Segment. So I like that you, I want,

like not that this is the advice that, this is a top, we could talk about this off camera, but I feel like this is who you are. Like you, someone will look at you someday and be like, oh, I want to tell

stories that have such great jokes within it so like yeah and your stories are already all worked out like and they're interesting enough that they don't need to have joke joke joke joke you know it's a different kind of laugh you get it is you so it's it's a little tough with the last because they still hit but you know when you do a joke when it's rolling you feel like you catch a wave yeah and yeah it's a different kind of wave and my only thing is like sometimes you get lazy within the story because you've told the same story millions of times so you already know how this story plays in your head so to add a tag or to add a left turn or whatever to a story you've already told is a little difficult

so you have to kind of almost step away no you you're gonna be great at that because you're gonna get bored with these stories and it's gonna happen naturally like i feel like you don't even have to try to remember a tag you wrote just like oh yeah no i agree i agree with that i agree with that i'm excited to see this well having more time on stage is just like, I've never understood it until I did it. And yeah, you just, one, you have to fill the time. And two, you just have to be comfortable in like, whatever, not have crushing the whole time. And I don't know.

And just having enough space. Like when I would open for you, it'd be like, if I do a seven minute story of a 10 minute set, then I would put so you, it'd be like, if I do a seven-minute story of a 10-minute set, then I would put so much fucking fear in that set. I mean, it's ballsy to do a fucking- Yeah, because if you go into it, you cannot bail. And then you are in a seven-minute set, and they are with you. Yeah, you can't just-

Which I did with you still, and your crowds are incredible. And it definitely helped a million-fold. But yeah. But, yeah. Well, they are – I mean, you're funny, and so it just – and you can tell whatever story they have. And they're so interesting and weird. Like, your stories are just – I'm almost jealous of how much you attract, like, the most amazing stories. But it's not even about you. It's not like, oh, my God, stories just happened to Andrew.

He's so lucky. It's like you worked for that. I was saying to someone recently, oh, oh my god this was a funny moment i was backstage with a comedian and um i was telling them uh i was telling him how you know we were talking about our relationship in the past and i was like you know we weren't that close because i was jealous of you and that's what people are jealous of you he was talking about someone that was kind of weird to him and didn't used to be. I go, because they're jealous. You got famous.

You got successful. And they're fucking jealous. And I used to be that way. I used to feel that way. And he goes, jealous of me? And he starts listing off all these things like, you were jealous of me? Well, let me just tell you what's going on with me. He starts saying all these things about his life currently.

And I wanted to go, well, not now. Like, now I'm not. Like, the way you are you are now no i don't want to be that you couldn't pay me before i knew you i wanted to be you but the funny part was i said you know what i realized was like i i'm not they go well you're you're just as talented and i go oh i know i go i'm jealous of your work ethic to be honest with you like i'm jealous of the way you work and i know that i work very hard but i work hard in a way that is really easy for me to work really hard i show up i do sets i do a lot of podcasts but the way and i have talked about this a million times before sorry to repeat it but the way in which i feel like is actual work for me that I don't want to

do to me, work is stuff you don't want to do. And that's hard for you. That's what feels like work to me. It's writing jokes. It's going over them. It's listening to my sets, all of these things.

Cause I was being followed around by this reporter for the Esquire. And he was, and I think I said this already before on the podcast too, but he's like talking to us, me, Kurt Metzger and, um, Jessal nick maybe backstage and he was talking about do you guys listen you know do you listen to your set afterwards and kurt's

like it changed my life listening to my set nikki do you listen to your set and i go i record them all but no i've never i don't do that it's excruciating and he's like you got it and i go of course i know that i go and john the mcdermott who's interviewing me he's like why don't you and i go because i don't it's hard and i don't like listening to myself and i go i know i would be such a better comic if i did it and he goes but what so you're leaving that on and i'm like i'm successful enough i know it could be more but this is fine at some point you go it's too uncomfortable and i'm happy with not doing that in order to just, you know, not do that. But what I said to this person was, and I think it's the first time I've ever told someone who is extremely successful that I said, I, we, we are just as talented. You just work harder.

Like your talent is, there's nothing different about you and I, which is true for everyone. The thing about the difference between you and Beyonce, and I'm talking to you, listener, and Beyonce, or you and anyone that you go, wow, they are just, there are certain people that, yes, Jamie Foxx, I think, Beyonce, there are people that are born with just talent in their bones, but it is hours of work. The Jackson 5 did not have a childhood. All they did was sing and dance and practice more hours a day than your dad worked in the coal mine. Like, they never, they didn't have a life.

So, the difference between you and the most talented person is always 99% of the time going to be that they worked harder. So, when I told this person, I go, oh, I'm not jealous of like, I know we have the same brain capable of the same things. I'm a genius just like you are comedically. You just work in a, you're just a harder worker. And they seem to be offended, which I understand because everyone wants to think that talent is like them. I'm special. And the truth is, even if it was special, you didn't choose your brain. You didn't, you just got lucky that you got it.

But people want to feel like, no, I'm smarter. I'm different. And yes, of course, there's different styles. But really, it was just interesting to see this person's face fall kind of when I go, oh, no, no, no. I'm not jealous of like your talent. Like we're just equally our brains are equally capable of the same comedic genius for sure. And I was even giving them a compliment because i think i'm pretty good at comedy i was saying oh we're equal

you just work you work harder than me and so you're going to be more successful and you're going to be better and i could just see them being a little bit insulted because and i realized at the time i would be too but the truth is it's the truth yeah any thoughts on that i well i was thinking about like granted i'm literally one headlining set into headlining so it's like so ridiculous to even talk about but it doesn't make as a headliner you but as a headliner as being a headliner uh when you would do five in a weekend talking about doing the work and and doing the time like there is no way to other than if you fold in every fucking show then to get better so you were doing like when you were tired on sunday i i kind of understood it but didn't really like i i did and i and then i was like

oh my god this is the most draining thing on earth. And it is doing the work and just doing like, well, I don't record myself. I don't listen to my, all that, whatever. It's still work, for sure. It's still work. A hundred percent. I don't know. So like I learned a lot.

But I'm getting paid for that work. Huh? You do get paid and you get paid pretty well. Even the sets I do that I don't get paid for, that's work too. But for me showing up and doing a set is not as much work as me sitting at a computer and writing out a joke.

So that's what I mean. But I agree. But i'm just saying like that five hours like that's a lot and and no but i i was getting to the point of like sorry when i when you're like oh you know stand up like i remember you know i'd get off stage and i'd be like i can't believe they were laughing so hard i did one hour one time and i was like all right i'm i'm good for a while like i don't need this drug and then you did it for 16 years five shows a weekend granted it's gonna get you sharp but you're also gonna have a loathing for it in a way that i understood finally yeah it's over like that lets the show's over let's go home I don't need to like, we don't need to go celebrate the set and keep the party going.

I can't imagine. It's a little like, is that all there is? Yeah. We're just like, the job's over. I'm done with my shift. It's not like the first day on the job kind of thing

where it's like sometimes you work at a job and you're like, oh my God, this is awesome. It's new. I'm having fun. I'm meeting all these new people and you have that energy. But I just think it's important for myself I think more than anything to realize that

and I talked about this a million times if you're feeling bad about yourself comparing yourself to someone the difference between you looking a certain way that you want to look between you being successful in your career in a certain way a lot of times it is it's just luck as it as it always really is when it comes down to it but it's not because you're like stupider or less talented it's just the way in which you work and your stamina and you might you do have the talent in you you just might not have the stamina and that's a little bit easier of a pill to swallow for me anya is any of this resonating with you in terms of when you compare yourself? Totally. It makes me think about I took this acting program once,

and Richard Dreyfuss was one of the teachers. And he said, success is talent plus ambition. And some people have a lot of talent and not a lot of ambition, and they won't be as successful. Some people have a shit ton of ambition, not much talent they'll be successful but you know all of us know someone mediocre who's incredibly famous they don't have a lot of talent but they have a ton of drive you know or someone who is so talented and you go how are they not the most famous person alive yeah they're sitting in their bedroom writing the most incredible songs but they don't want to get a manager or an agent or you know they don't want to like be on tiktok all day i get it like the music business has changed so much i can't stand being online and doing the the the thing like this is part of being famous now like people don't really listen to full songs that

often or full albums like they want you to do a viral video it's like do i want to do that i don't know well anya i was thinking like i've been it's been so nice because on our girls chat anya has been sharing she joined a songwriting group which i know you were like a little even reluctant to do which would be such an interesting thing to do a joke writing group where like you get a subject so what tell us about this joke writing or this songwriting group to join a joke writing group too um just as like a novice do it honestly that would be so fun i should get a group together of people because we would all have to write a joke about one subject so tell us how it works and i've been in there are amazing people in this group yeah bob schneider out of austin texas who's an incredible singer songsongwriter started it decades ago I first joined like 20

years ago and I've written like half of my records are because of that group so every day every Friday you get an assignment and the phrase is let's say like you know calendar boy I just invented that so you have to put calendar boy in a song and it's due tuesday so you have like four or five days whatever four days to write calendar boy you know and so we had one last week the assignment was disirregardlessly which is obviously not a word no it this was this is yeah it was and that's the song i wrote it was an ear you wrote a song called irape and it so she's been sharing these songs before she joined this group again she was like i kind of don't want to because like i feel like it's gonna be bad and i'm not gonna have it in on time and there's other people in this group

and like everyone hears it and like i haven't written in years i I'm like, I lost it. Maybe I lost it. But you're held accountable. But she wrote this Irapé song. Yeah. It is so good. I wish you could play it for us. There's no feedback. Oh my God, it's so embarrassing. There's no feedback though.

Like no one will, people can say great job, but it's sort of almost encouraged. There's never been any rules, but no one will write back usually and be like, that's amazing. It's just like, you just turn it in. And Bob's whole philosophy is just do the song.

Who gives a shit? If it's a shitty song, just get it done. That's it. And then you get kicked out of the group. If you don't turn a song in. The rule is don't be afraid to sound bad. Just get it done because something bad is going to teach you something that's going to lead to something good rather than doing nothing.

Cause you're scared of being bad. We got to go to break. I wish we could hear the rap song because it has been in my head, but it is so good. And it feels like you did get your mojo back. I can send it to you. It's embarrassing. Maybe we'll listen to it as we go to break right now. This is

a little bit of a rap from Anya Marina. Rappity, rappity, rappy Ear rape Can't un-ear these ear rapes Nuclear-related uncomfortability Nuclear-related, is here regardlessly I can't stand some words at all I can't stand them big and small E-rape, rape, ear rape, rape, rape, ear rape Ear rape Can't unhear these ear rapes Nuclear, real letter, uncomfortability Nuclear-related disregardlessly

Nuclear-related uncomfortability Nuclear-related disregardlessly We love the desperate Godless King. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How to Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

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is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland. Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe. And I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else.

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Let's get to it. We've got a lot to get through, and we don't have a lot of time because I talk too much. Let's get to Fanthrax. It's time for Fanthrax. It's time for Fanthrax. These are your voicemails from our fans. We love to hear it. Let's get to it.

All right. Let's start off with a voicemail from Benji. Hey, Nikki, Andrew, Noah. Love the pod. Bestie here from New York. I just feel like Nikki would love this story but me and a friend went out last night to go to this random bar and when we got there they were like are you two here for the taylor swift party that's happening downstairs and we were like um we had

absolutely no idea that that was a thing but yes we are a hundred percent here for it um and we just danced for three hours in a room full of swifties to all of her best songs i mean all of her songs are her best songs but it was maybe the best night of my life um and i felt like nikki would totally love the idea of just dancing with a room full of swifties um i've seen apparently they do it like every two weeks in new york so if you're ever around you should totally go check it out it is totally a vibe

Benji thank you so much I have been to one of these and they happen everywhere where is it Philadelphia right yeah we went to one in Philadelphia

yeah there's one coming up in St. Louis I'm gonna go to the last one turned into a super spreader event but this one but they happen everywhere

if you're a Swifty and they actually are happening with all types of music so if you're a fan of a certain band that has a big following chances are there will be like a sing-along thing to go to it is so it's like it's the closest you can get to going to a concert because first of all at concerts everyone sings along anyway so you don't even hear the artist it is so fun and it reminded me of like maybe that's something i can go to during my vocal rest as long as i do not sing or because sometimes when i think i'm not singing and i'm just like like mouthing it does come out but man it is i love a stumble on something great you know that happens in new york than anywhere. You just stumble and you're like, oh.

I remember I stumbled and Blues Traveler was playing, the guy from Blues Traveler with the basses from Fish in like a little bar. And I was like, oh, look at this, Tuesday night. What's that guy's name again? John Popper. John. Yeah, Harmonica Vest, yeah. Yeah.

I don't know, but like that, I love a stumble. You know? Have you ever stumbled into anything? I can't think of if I've ever stumbled into something so awesome. Comedians' birthday parties, gonorrhea. Man. Was that the same party?

It's a comedian named Gonorrhea. Oh, he's great. That's Earthquakes opener. Yeah. No, I'm sure i've stumbled i mean literally i've stumbled a lot but never nothing ever comes to nothing comes to mind now of i'm sure there's one that i'm just gonna think of uh in one hour and be like oh that was the best stumble um but this is a stumble in and of itself let's get to the next fanthrax okay here's a mispronunciation from Mary.

Hi, Nikki, Andrew, Noah. This is Mary from Kansas City. And I am calling in with a mispronunciation. And it's actually from Wednesday's episode. And I hope I don't sound like a brat for pointing this out. What did I do? I may not be the first, but I laughed out loud every single time I heard Andrew say ocular implant. And he was so consistent. And there was no question in his voice.

And I just kept picturing people having eyeballs implanted or transplanted. Instead of probably what he meant was cochlear implant. Cochlear. Yeah, like Nikki did in that one. Anyway, thank you for the laugh. You always provide the laughs, even if it's unintentional. Yeah. Nikki, hope all goes well with your surgery.

Thank you. And have a great day. Thank you. What's her name again? She's in Kansas City. Mary in Kansas City. I'm almost more embarrassed I didn't catch it than Andrew should be that he said

it. There was a lot of conversation about it. I know. I think it's a cochlear. I've always heard it pronounced not cochlear but nuclear. A nuclear implant. That's in my song. Nuclear. Oh yeah. It's in your Irapia song. My favorite thing i don't remember when we were talking about cochlear implants

my aunt nancy has an ocular implant apparently oh my god but you got blue eyes no when um my favorite thing is when babies get them and they hear for the first time their mama's voice and then they turn it off. But this is my favorite. This is my impression. You hear Julie's voice. You're like, I'm good for another 18.

You have to see the YouTube of me doing the impression of a baby with a cochlear implant. Okay, so I'm just a baby being like, Hey, baby. Hey, no over here, baby. It's mommy. Mommy's here. They just think they jolt their head in such a

way and then just stare like but i love the initial as soon as it turns on they're like the jolt have you ever seen youtubes of colorblind children wearing glasses it's one of the biggest things i ever cry i want my boyfriend to be colorblind so bad so on our wedding day I can get him that and he can cry. I get mad at those videos a little. Why? Because they see color for the first time and that reminds you how beautiful the world is. I get that, but these parents

what are you saving? How much are these glasses? They could have got them five years ago. I don't know. A lot of people cannot afford that, Andrew. No, I know that.. I feel like it's like. No, a lot of people cannot afford that, Andrew. No, no, I know that. Okay, I guess so. Or they might not have existed then.

Yeah. How long have they existed for? I'm just saying like. They've existed for a while. I do think though that they are so expensive and like.

Are they though? I will. Can I just say. How much are they? Do we know? They're probably, I'm guessing around 600 bucks but that's probably close enough

but that is a lot of money for some people. And I want to just say, the other day on Reddit, there was this, there's this subreddit called Thrift Store Finds. And there's a thing called, if someone finds something and they just don't buy it, they say catch and release. And they just like show a picture of it and go like, it's awesome, but I couldn't buy it.

And it was a picture of Bob Saget that says, you're cool. You cool love bob saget not to not to anyone a great little frame picture of bob saget and it said catch and release and everyone in the thing is like he's dead get it this is so cool like he died like that's a that's probably not worth something or just you know worth something for the fact that it's him and the guy goes it was five dollars i don't have the money for that and it really put things in perspective of like well now i feel some people don't and everyone just goes it was five dollars that is worth skipping a meal whatever it's like and this person was like i'm here to like buy clothing for my children i'm not buying a framed picture of bob saget on the off chance that and the person didn't even know he was dead and um but it what it put in perspective of like you don't get to just you know i don't know i was like the yesterday

going from london to boston we were you know the the drive to the airport was supposed to be a half hour and it turned into it was a two hour two hours to get in traffic and when you leave to the airport i don't understand how you made your flight still uh because we left in enough time like we got there an hour before our flight took off and we're able to check bags up to an hour before thank god and it was dead heathrow was dead but i was thinking i said to chris it's fine because there are flights tomorrow out i was looking i could buy them and i go because i have money but what the fuck your life is so well you don't go to london there's no well well what if you save up for london and something happens where like you know there was an accident or the weather or something it's like everyone's

just i for and i used to feel this way too of like i remember i used to have a joke about looking at a box of tampax pearls and being like someday when my ticket comes in i can have pearls and really feeling that way and i think i can lose perspective sometimes but the i used to think the same thing about those glasses so i'm not making you feel like a jerk about it being like why doesn't everyone get them to see color but six hundred dollars is a fuck ton of money especially if you have kids they're under a hundred now they are now I feel better about myself. Okay. But they're not the good ones.

Next fan tracks. You only see two colors. For every. Cockular. Yeah, you got to pay an extra $100 for each color you want to see of the rainbow. For $700, you can see the rainbow. You want to get just Roy J. For $80, you can see gray.

What color, if you could eliminate from your life, would you eliminate? If you had one color and every kind of shade of that color, you have to get rid of. Bright yellow? Oh, forsake you, Anya. My special. How are you going to enjoy my special? And her Jimmy Kimmel. I'm just kidding.

I liked it on your special. I don't know why. Why didn't I say purple? She'd rather you naked, Nikki. No, no, no. Purple, I think is too pinkish, and I love the color pink. I would get rid of blue. I think I would get rid of blue.

Orange for me. Even though skies, fuck. Yeah, blue's everywhere. Shit, but you can't get rid of black, and you can't get rid of gray. You can't get rid of brown. You got to get rid of like one of the ROYGBIVs. Orange. Orange.

Orange. Yeah, fuck orange. Fuck orange. I don't need it. But burglar orange is not bad. Oh, shit, the ROYGBIVs. Orange. Orange. Orange. Fuck orange. But burnt orange is not bad. Oh shit, the sun. Sunsets. Okay, well, it's okay. We already decided we're getting rid of orange. Alright, next Fanthrax.

Next one is from Emma. Hi besties, it's Emma, OG fan here. Got to see you Nikki and Andrew live in San Francisco this year and meet you guys so that was really awesome it was also my birthday so that was like the best birthday ever and I corralled my friends to come with me even though they had never listened but they all loved it and had a great time so that was really fun for me when Nikki started reddit last year, she said forced orgasms, but I heard it as forest orgasms.

And so me being intrigued was like, hmm, he's having orgasms in the forest. That's interesting. So I download Reddit and I'm scouring Reddit for this. Come to find out. She said forced orgasms. So funny, misunderstanding, mispronunciation story love you guys emma that's so funny because for a while they took down forced orgasms on reddit and that is my porn go-to if you want to see what i'm into that's it and it's probably telling you too much

i feel like a forest and a forest is very they go together i'm not kidding you if you go to force orgasms right now and this is this was recorded probably two weeks ago if you scroll deep enough you will see up on i just went there the other night there is a woman tied to a tree in a forest and she made like a fantasy she's like i was walking on a hike and this man tied me up and it was just you know she's doing a character but there was a forced orgasm in forced orgasm um and it was weird they forced orgasms disappeared from reddit for a while i don't know why i think the word forced sometimes in um porn hub i don't think they allowed the word forced x videos i don't think they allowed it hamster x hamster whatever like there's different porn sites that will allow the word force you'll find it won't you'll find um so i think they took it down for a while and i was really sad but now

it's back up and it's all consensually forced so it's cf um but it's it is forced orgasms is the name of the subreddit that i love very much and that girls are having a lot of time good times and they're having a lot of forced orgasms that are awesome. Have you ever hooked up with anyone in the woods? Have you ever had tent sex? I've hooked up with someone wearing Abercrombie Woods. It was on a hill, yes. On a hill? On a hill. All right.

Yeah, in Memorial Park. In a park? Yeah. In the Bay Area. It was totally underwhelming. It's like the equivalent of beach sex or hot tub sex. What time was this at? 11.47 p.m.

No, but it was late at night. You were in a park. Yeah, yeah. That's scary to me. Yeah, it just felt stupid. I'm not that GGG. I gave Felicio in a park. You're not that GGG?

What did you do, Nikki? What in a park? I gave Felicio in a park. In a city park. a um in a city park um at a bus stop it was in los angeles in like beverly hills i think it was just like and we were talking and it was kind of like a fight you know um and then we made up and then it just started happening and i was like no we can't and he was just like i think you're going to and i was like no i can't and um and then it was just happening and it was just like

it it's it's thrilling because you can get arrested very easily and then charged if it's near a school you can like be a whoa labeled a pedophile the rest of your life like those are the times of things that you risk when you do that so don't do that out there um did you ever have forced sex not with anyone just just himself in a tree yeah just alone i was curled up in the man by himself and the tree falls did it ever happen i don't know i hope not either you and bigfootfoot. I'd be too scared. That's how you met that fucking guy that opened for you. Bigfoot. Do you know there are people that believe Bigfoot is real?

Yes. I was going to write a joke about it that this guy was so hot one time and I liked him so much that I truly heard him out about Bigfoot being real and started almost believing it. That's hilarious. That's how much, that's how hot this guy was. I'm not kidding you. I was, when I found out he believed in Bigfoot, I was like, God damn it. Why does this guy have to believe in Bigfoot?

Like this ruins everything. Like I can't marry someone like my fantasy for our life. And then I got on board with Bigfoot. I was like, can I ask a question about Bigfoot? Do you know anything about it? Did you? Yeah, I learned a little bit about it. Yeah. So how old is Bigfoot? our life and then i got on board with bigfoot i was like can i ask a question about bigfoot do you know anything about it did you yeah i learned a little bit about it yeah so how old is bigfoot has he had kids because at this point bigfoot is not just one bigfoot i mean it is a species that is on the human chain like it's on the chimpanzee monkey chain of like humans that

somewhere along the line it stopped and it's up in the pacific northwest among other places and they've never been caught because um i don't know um it just doesn't fit with this story in spokane i think they were in the audience they're the biggest motherfuckers i've ever i really remember getting on board with it this guy was very convincing and hot and it was just okay it was such an example of how much a hot guy can make you just go yeah i don't like my sister either and i don't think i want to talk to her like just like completely abandon who you are um all right like make you put a wig on and go to england or like do something like do it anytime. Final thought. Okay. Let's do two more because I really want to share this one.

It's a very vulnerable story from Sophie. Love a vulnerable. Hello, friends. This is Sophie from Sweden with a story about orgasms before knowing about orgasms. When listening to Nikki talk about not having orgasms before toys I got thinking about my first orgasm. I was like nine or ten. It was summer at some kind of daycare type of place. The playground at this place had ropes hanging next to the swings meant for climbing like with knots on them i was just

hanging on this rope with my legs crossed when it started to feel good and eventually it happened and i got terrified though i remember running to the bathroom to check my underwear because it almost felt as if i had pissed my pants. And this eventually led to me using blankets for masturbating. I twirled them up like ropes. And I remember sometimes in PE, we had competitions to see who could hang on to a rope the longest and there i was hanging on a rope having quiet orgasms in front of everyone i'm in my 30s and this is the first time i talk about this so thank you for giving me a place to i love you all and ejaculate i mean i feel like i was on her podcast that was unbelievable i cannot believe how sexy her voice was i had chill like my i have still have goosebumps from listening to how asmr that

was that was asmr but also sexy i for i tried to black out how young you were during that story so i could enjoy it in a sexual way um that was thank you so much for sharing that i think so many people relate to oh humping blankets humping ropes humping um parallel bars um and also not really under understanding each one give them equal opportunity don't leave one out what about the uneven bars don't forget about no they come from a wrong side of town. And a lot of people orgasm when they're hanging, like in grade school. My best friend in grade school used to hang on a desk. Or in a closet with their belt around their neck. Wait, wait, what?

Hang from a- Hanging what? Yeah, you know, she was saying she was hanging from a rope and she started to feel good. Yeah, yeah. Like my best friend used to hang on a desk, like suspend you know like like this i can't understand what you're saying i can't understand what i'm saying no like hang yourself from a desk like what is keeping like imagine your elbows are on the desk and you lean all your body weight forward and your legs oh you're like what's touching your vagina then nothing it's just a pressure and it builds

up yes well i actually heard a technique maybe on reddit or somewhere where leaning on things and hanging on them like you're saying like leaning on a table like putting all your weight forward and um probably crossing your legs in a really intense way is also uh would send you to that kind of place but um guys with ropes felt great i would climb a lot of ropes yeah yeah i if you if it was i would be up there a while it's so fascinating and then you slide down it would yeah it was fantastic i'll never forget i mean i've said it before i'll never forget kirsten's front porch waiting for my parents to come get me and we're just hanging out like you know hanging on the bars like the the railing and there was a little like they're shaped like butt plugs like the little markers at each end of

it and there was this one and i just like sat on top of it and it kind of hit my asshole a little bit and i remember just being like that feels so good that there's something wrong with me like i can't ever do that again. God is, I don't even believe in God, but it felt too good. I wish I could see that. And it's still,

I'm not kidding you. Like, I hope this doesn't, it could come back to haunt me. I'll stand by it. I enjoy that more than the other place. Honestly, like it's a different feeling to me,

but I am grateful that I have it because i do know what it feels like to have things in your vagina it feels amazing and i can definitely climb that rope backwards but it was like i knew at a young age where something there was something special about that other place that i was like oh no and i i don't think at that age i mean definitely at that age did not think anything would ever happen back there that could but i just knew don't think at that age, I mean, definitely at that age, did not think anything would ever happen back there that could, but I just knew, don't ever do that again, Nikki, is wrong. It feels too good. And I still feel that way about things that are too pleasurable.

Can you tell that story as a Swedish woman now? So it actually turns people on. I was very young. I was waiting for my mom to come pick me up at my friend Kirsten's. And I was of age, so you can enjoy the story. What's of age in Sweden? Well, it's whatever you wanted to know. But if you are jerking off to this, it is fine.

And everything is legal. And so I climbed upon the banisterister and it grazed my asshole and i have to say i was feeling things this it sounds like i'm making fun of her but honestly i'm just trying to recreate how fucking hot that was i guarantee she's laughing hysterically okay yeah i hope she's not hurt but it was i would really hire her to make asmr things and if you're not doing that already it was i mean i'm literally feeling like i just wet my pants because of that story from her i'm not kidding you it really turned me on in some weird way but it also made me feel safe i'm confused okay let's get to the last okay last fanthrax is from tom who's in the uk and he needs some advice okay tom hello nikki andrew no i'm 19 i'm from the uk can i just say

first off i've been a fan of yours nikki since like i was 15 16 which was probably way too young to be listening to what you were saying but i feel like it's helped me a lot oh i've literally probably listened to every single podcast you've ever made. But anyway, I'm in a bit of a dating predicament. So I'm 19. I'm gay. I've never really been able to date before because I live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. But recently, because I've gone to university in a city, I've actually started dating guys, which is nice.

I've found this one guy. We're like a month in and I fully feel like I love him and It's just going great. I can see a serious relationship happening here, but There's a big but okay He's by and only ever had relationships with girls before and his last one lasted years and it was really serious and I just don't know what to think about it. All my friends are telling me to be cautious

and be careful because he does seem a bit flip floppy and I don't know really what to do. I don't know what you guys take on it. Anyway, thank you. Tom, I'm guessing just because he's British, it feels like he spells his name T-H-O-M. So Tom, first of all,

thank you for listening to everything I've done. It makes me feel so good. And you just seem so sweet. And I'm so excited that you're in your first relationship. I would say to people who think that bisexual people are more of a threat to your relationship or becoming monogamous with them than maybe if they were fully gay, fully straight is that people are like,

well, you can't be a woman for him. So he's going to need women. Well, you can't be every man for him either. So would he need every other man? So this whole argument that bisexual people are just like, cannot be reined in.

Not one person will ever please them is completely false and is something that people project onto you because of their own fears. That being said, you are 19. It's your first love. Chances are this ain't it. And I hate to say that to you because that is not what anyone wants to hear in their first love. But fucking treat it like it's it.

Who cares? in their first love but fucking treat it like it's it who cares like i think take this guy for what he's telling you like if he's being squirrely if you're feeling like confused you know that's the classic thing if you're confused he's not that into you if you're not confused he is into you so if you're feeling that but um i think voicing these kind of concerns to him would be good i'm not sure if your concern is that he's bisexual or that he's just kind of a little bit squirrely anyway um and i wonder if he's out to everyone in his life as a bisexual or if he's a man who's experimenting with his bisexuality and you're maybe the first which could be tricky but i'm so excited for you um this is just the beginning of a lifetime of falling in love maybe with this guy over and over

maybe with you know other people but um i don't think you should shy away from dating bisexual men i don't think it is a red flag anya any thoughts no i think that's great advice the only thing is you know you when my friends are all telling me be careful, I want to listen to that because when I'm in love I tend to, you know, it's destabilizing, it's exciting, but I'm trying to listen to my friends more and more. So that might be something to look out for, but everything Nikki said is right on. Go for it. Andrew, Noah?

I think you should dump them and move on with your life. but everything Nikki said is right on. Go for it. Andrew, Noah? I think you should dump him. And move on with your life. You're in a city now. You don't have to be a farmer boy anymore. No, no, I think Nikki's advice. When people find out bisexual, they're like, oh. Yeah, no, it's so true. He's gonna need that other thing that you can't give him.

And it's just not true. I love the point out of like, yeah, there's also a million other guys that he could have, but he chose you. Right. Like, it makes perfect sense. And yeah, he sounds like an amazing human being who's like just like figuring out the city and he like grew up like, you know, in the middle of nowhere. That's so cool. So you put so much pressure on it too yeah so don't put too much pressure on it you could love them all you want but just don't don't be easy on your

on yourself in the relationship like it's hard yeah it is hard though like i never want to tell people in their 20s or teens like this isn't gonna last forever like because it probably isn't like statistically it just doesn't usually work that way. And you don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear that even when I was 35 with guys that I knew would not be. And my friends would be like, this is fun for now. And I'd be like, how dare you?

But just be in the moment. Because who knows? The world could end tomorrow. And this would be your only guy. So just have fun. But I think you're a guy who works in honesty. could end tomorrow and this would be your only guy so just have fun but um i think with you it's like it's not like he also honesty nikki i love it's like he uh nikki you're dating a guy but he also loves um himself too much it's not like other way he also loves women too it's like no he's

he's what wait what i don't understand what you're saying like the idea of like this guy oh the guy that guys that i've dated i would prefer them to be bisexual as opposed to loving guys yeah women and themselves i'm in a poly relationship with them and themselves yeah yeah you're in a threesome that does seem like if you want to be with me you have to put up with the fact that i'm always going to love myself more than you and when we face time i'll be looking at my own self and not see you even for a second even though you are dying your eyebrows and they look like groucho marx and i didn't even notice the whole time we were on the phone that really happened to me one time when i was talking to a narcissist for a really long time he didn't

notice that my eyebrows were completely black groucho marx the entire time i answered the phone going like hello and he we had an hour-long conversation before he even looked at me because he was such a narcissist which don't we all stare at ourselves that's a good question did he have his crouchers on thank you so much to everyone who wrote in

and talked that's true too thank you so much. We will be back with more shows shortly. Very shortly. I'm still recovering from surgery, but we'll figure it all out.

I will have a different voice the next time you hear me, but not too different. Can I plug this? I'm going to be back with a new... What do you want to plug? St. Louis Helium,

October 6th. Yes. October 6th, St. Louis Helium. It's a hometown show, so come on out. Come on. If you want to plan

a trip to St. Louis, come on down. Yeah, please come. That'll be so fun. Louis, Helium. So come on out. If you want to plan a trip to St. Louis, come on down. That'll be so fun. And I'll be on tour with Eric Hutchinson September 21st through 24th. Longer sets, Boston, D.C., Philly, and New York City. Oh, fuck yes. Eric Hutchinson's

amazing too. If you've never heard of him, first of all, just go to see Anya and then you can leave. It doesn't matter but like definitely go support those shows um a fun night out and um and i will be back on tour in october iowa is my first dates get tickets now and then we are back on the road consistently and um new tour dates coming out soon um and as always we'll be here on the podcast so check this out as well. Love you guys so much. Thank you for listening.

Thank you for waiting for me to get healed again and being patient with one podcast a week. I love you so much. Thank you for the fan threats. Don't be good. And Jack. Jack. Jack.

Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel.

And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon,

listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of

world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. Struggling with tough emotions? Hey, I'm Jay Shetty. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and my latest interview is with Mel Robbins. Work has been seen as the number one cause of stress. How can the let them theory help? As you notice the stress come up, Jay, you're simply going to say, let them. You have no idea right now how much time and energy is being wasted because of other people's behavior. It's like a death by a thousand cuts. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.