The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #273 Disposable Thumbs

Episode Date: September 30, 2022

UPDATE: This will be the last show that Nikki will use her robot voice! Nikki, Andrew, Chris and Noa start off by talking about the list of Best TV Shows and then somehow dive into platform shoes for men. They bring back the segment Burning Questions For Bob to ask each other what they really wanted to know about the last couple of weeks that the show has slowed down.  ------- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: www.nikkiglaser.com/tour Andrew's Tour Dates: www.andrewcollincomedy.com   More Nikki: IG More Andrew: IG  More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Oh, you would think it was Nikki.

Hi, I'm Nikki Glaser. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. We have so many things to go over. Why I love meat and what it does for my body. You know what I love about meat? i'll tell you what it is here's my top three things how dare you i'm on an ancestral diet ancestral ancestral diet yeah it's the i just do 10 different things and i get the perfect lean body that everyone should do and kill a cow and live your life. Prosper. Shoot it with an AK-47. Do whatever you want. I love it.

Don't do therapy. It's for losers. That's what I believe. That's who I am. Thank you so much. Here's a book by Dave Truck. It's about how it starts. I would have more respect for you if you killed the cows you ate.

Wait. Who's eating a cow and not killing it? No one's doing that. No one. No, she means if you actually butchered the cow. Oh, not with these little hands. What am I going to choke at the death? Can you imagine strangling, getting on top of a cow and just, no, no, no. You would just rather just be killed in a compound, Noah.

How are you doing, Noah? Noah's in Arizona. Chris Convey's here in St. Louis. And Nikki's here in St. Louis. Chris told me about her animal death last night. Oh, yeah. Oh, is it the dog slash coyote? Wait, what?

Slash wolf? Wait, is this a news story? Or is this something that you remember? Yeah, some idiot woman. Some idiot woman. No, do you follow Instagram like murder? Hunting? Yeah.

Things dying? No, I can't follow that stuff. It's too negative. But it's a story that's been all over the news. The coyote what? What were you saying? There's a coyote problem in Los Angeles and the coyote what what were you saying there's a coyote like problem in los angeles and the coyotes will like go into houses and kill like if there's like a doggy door or

something some of the some of the coyotes will get in the house and do some damage it's bad it's really ugly but yeah nikki and i would they like start a podcast in there? The Coyotes? That does sound damaging. Nikki and I started re-watching Fleabag last night. And yeah, it's awesome. I mean, it is really awesome. I can see you as a hot priest. Honestly. Halloween's coming.

We could be them. What would Nikki be? We actually haven't talked about Halloween in any way, shape, or form, but Nikki's going to be gone for most of it. I have never been more turned on than that priest storyline. We were talking about that priest storyline. I didn't realize it takes a long time to get to the priest, and that's when the show really becomes one of the best television comedies of all time. It takes a little bit to get there, and you don't really remember but we've we've been sort of like when does priest show up well

you need him to balance her because she's such an unlikable character you need god you need jesus christ for someone to like a woman with an opinion doesn't he come in the second season though yes he shows up in the second season but you don't realize that like how important and crucial he is for it you know for for fleabag to be one of the best shows of all time so on the radio show that i do we talked about rolling stone just came out with a the list of the top 100 tv shows of all time and we had to guess which ones we thought were maybe in the top 10 and i didn't even all the time can i try try? All time. Yeah, you can try. And I'll remember most of them.

Cheers? Cheers is in there. I think it was number eight. Seinfeld? Seinfeld was in there. Welcome Home Nikki Glaser. Welcome Home Nikki Glaser was... Just the first season.

Was number 11. Yeah. MASH? MASH was, I think, like 14 or something. Golden Girls? They had to throw a woman in? Golden Girls wasn't in there. Well, I think it was in the top 100.

It just wasn't in the top 10. Shit. I guess, yeah, that's kind of where I clink out. Think HBO. Get into the HBO range. Oh,

the HBO range. Not Boardwalk Empire, although that's for me. I love that. Really? Oh my God. Okay, so Sopranos,

I think was number one. The Wire was up there. Breaking Bad was up there. I'm trying to think of some of the other was number one. The Wire was up there. Breaking Bad was up there. I'm trying to think of some of the other ones. I think The Office was in there some way. I'm going to get overrated. To me. For me.

For me. That's actually, next time I'm on, I'm going to do overrated, underrated. Okay. And that's one of them. But it's only overrated because when you go back, you've you know the the incestry of the of the shows that came after it incest really yeah yeah and drip and you that's what soprano would eat like soprano started something that all other shows have sort of you know copied in a way and they've improved upon it so when you go back and watch sopranos people be like oh it's not as good as

everybody says. But at the time, it was groundbreaking and it was amazing. Oh, Mary Tyler Moore was number 10. Number nine, Atlanta. Oh, I like Atlanta. Although it fell off a little this season. I don't want to talk too much shit on it.

But it just, well, Glover's just not in it anymore. He's just like, how can I do the least work possible and give other people shine which is nice he's probably doing something else that's brilliant he really is incredible but this past episode or past season it was one of those things where it was like he'd pop in every fourth episode and he's like i'm in it for you like i came here for you like how much

tv the people in my life watch. TV's awesome. What are you, reading books in your study over there? Reading a quarter of books. Cheers is number eight. Okay. Let's see, what else do we got here? Mad Men, number seven. Yeah, that was one we missed.

Seinfeld is six. Fleabag is number five. Wait, what? The second season of Fleabag really is one of the greatest things that that i've ever seen in television and i can't wait to get so we're on probably episode four or five of season one are you are you doing quality over quantity though because there's only two seasons do you think it doesn't matter it's about moments and about it's about the way it makes you feel afterwards because now because it's like that that you know, like you get punched, right, by these shows.

And then like how does it stick around for a while? Do you want to see it again? I mean, you guys went back in. It really is my favorite show. With Veep and 30 Rock and Seinfeld and Mad Men. And those are all you could watch again if they come back on. That's, I think, the main ingredient for a great show is if I'm in a room and I'm flipping through. And a movie.

Like a movie like, what's a movie? Shawshank is one of those. It's like always on TBS and you get on it. No matter where you get in. Let's do it. You're like, okay, I'm sitting down. Oh, your mom's funeral? I don't care.

I got to watch and see if Dufresne is getting out. Yeah. You know, he's going to use the little rock thing. He's going to get out of there. I'm going to start everything I say with okay, I'm about to say something. I'm going to start everything with okay, I'm about to say something.

So it doesn't cut off. It's hard for Nikki to interject. Oh yeah, by the way, Nikki got vocal cord surgery. If you've never listened to this podcast, or if you just listened to yesterday and you thought Nikki is doing a new character to get ready for a new show she's doing called nikki glazer i fucked a robot and we had a kid and this is what it sounds like uh season four uh nikki got vocal cord surgery she hasn't been

able to speak for three weeks uh we're all betting on that it keeps going uh for as many years as possible. Betting or hoping? I don't know. I bet the over. I'll take the under. Andrew's at the OTV. I think we're going to get her back soon. Yeah.

Oh my God. We should do that with our listeners out there. When can Nikki talk again? And if you win, you Venmo me $48. No, what's your favorite TV show? Like one about Sex Pistols or something?

The Simpsons. Okay, I am about to say something. Always take the under with chairs. Always take the under with crests. Short joke and it would have worked great. It would have worked great. How tall were you at like how tall were you at like how tall were you at like 14

were you this tall oh yeah so I've been this tall the whole time basically do you think it's worse to grow early and stay or grow later grow and then get to not the best height ever I think at the end of the day it's probably it's probably better to get tall early wait so what's what's the question

so okay my question is I was always the shortest in my grade. I am about to say something. It was not a short joke. It was a joke about me always being under him in bed. No, loved it. God, I do love my British boyfriend. Okay, my tall question chris is that okay back to chris being short i was i like that if you're i i was very short growing up around 4 11 until i

was like 14 like insanely small then i grew to eventually five nine it felt great to get to that that growth spurt to get to five nine now if i started around five eight five nine in seventh grade and never you would have thought that you would have had another peak yeah i would have thought at least but for that year you were the fucking man yeah oh yeah it was no it was great i was you know it was amongst the taller like i wasn't the tallest but i was just like i was up there and then yeah my two like best friends were you know like six inches like eight inches shorter than me and they're both at least four inches taller than me right now at least ah yeah at least yeah there was a what about for a girl glaze like i am about to say something when did you realize it was never gonna happen for you, Chris? Probably right now

when you just said that. Oh, you think you're still growing? Yeah. God, I would do anything. So would Glaze. Would you wear heels? Not heels,

but like those like... Healy thinks no. No, no. No, I don't. Would you judge a man? No. Would you judge a man if he was wearing shoes

that had... You get home at night and he goes, hey, no shoes in the house. And he kicks them off and he goes to about 5'3". And when you met him, he was wearing shoes that had... A little. You get home at night, and he goes, hey, no shoes in the house. And he kicks them off, and he goes to about 5'3". And when you met him, he was 5'10".

Would you be like, I don't want to sleep with you? Or were you like, hey, this is kind of secure in a way. It would probably... So I don't... The height thing, I'm not affected by it,

but if there's some kind of manipulation of it in that way, I would probably be a little... Well, not a little, but a lot. I am about to talk. Okay, go ahead. You guys have to Google Simon Cowell shoes. He wears heels and always has bootcutter flared jeans.

It is disgusting. But they get... The flared jeans is definitely disgusting. Glaze, what about you? Because you're a tall drink of water. Okay, but a girl takes her fake eyelids off. She takes her makeup off. She takes her heels off. You take your bra off. You take your Sp drink of water. Okay, but a girl takes her fake eyelids off. She takes her makeup off. She takes her heels off.

You take your bra off. You take your Spanx off. You get ready to fuck. And the guy, all he does is take off one pair of Healy shoes, and he's a piece of shit. Noah, what do you think? I think what Nikki's going to say is that we don't take that off in front of the guy. We take it off in secret after he's fallen asleep, after he comes. comes oh so do you think he should leave his shoes on while he's fucking

you no no well then you can't win i am about to talk i wish guys wore heels i just hate simon's jeans so it's more than so wear the heels you got to wear shorts with them. Don't try to like fake it. Tom Cruise, I think also wears bigger shoes. I am about to talk. Nikki, what is your, like, you know, being in high school. Oh, shoot. Are we over? Oh my God.

So Simon Cowell. Oh, these are. He's wearing straight up. Those are antlers. Those are not antlers, deer feet, whatever those are antlers those are not antlers deer feet whatever those are called hooves that is not a good look but man when you have an ego like his you just you do whatever you want and you say that this is fine this is this is good this works yeah there is i am about to talk it's not like i wish they wore heels but that does not bother me

right but height doesn't bother you. You're not worried about how tall a guy is. It doesn't affect you. Yes, I am height blind. I think what Andrew's asking is if one day Chris came home wearing platform shoes,

didn't tell you he was going to get them, just shows up in the apartment with platforms. What would be your reaction? I think is what Andrew's trying to figure out. Get down on your knee and propose. And take them off. I would not care at all, and I probably would not notice.

Yeah, I think there's a level of confidence that Simon cowell has what wherever it comes from there's something about him rocking heels with with long jeans to cover it up where he's like scared for people to know while also having the most confidence at least it comes off that way in the world of being like i'm perfect yeah i know a guy who who has these shoes like adidas makes shoes that are that are like heels on the inside so they look like just like yeah you're wearing cool adidas basketball shoes but his heel is at least three inches higher than it is but you know there there are like studies and stuff out there i didn't look

these up on my own there's just things that i've just seen over the years what are you looking where you know it's the same thing with like like beautiful people yeah you know get paid more and tall it's the same thing with tall people like tall people get more respect and they get more promotions and they end up getting paid more as well it's like the same sort of yeah every president's like six feet or taller pretty much so i don't do you do you think you get tricked by things like that i guess i do i feel like i would like to be smarter to be like but i've been around like when we're around like those fuckboys on fuckboy island and they're all fucking jacked and they're tall i'm like i want to i want you to like me because you have an adonis body and i i kind of want to maybe i want to fuck you you know like no but like in my mind like i like put them on this pedestal where it's like

they don't deserve it but i i think i can get tricked by that stuff you know what i mean like but why is that why do we like bigger because of just because evolution because i am about to talk you guys have no clue when we wear makeup or the things that are artificial to make us hot you guys are clueless yeah i'll agree with that i don't i'm i'm blind to a lot of plastic surgery you know nick you'll be like oh yeah that person's done this this and this and i'm like what or like the hair extension things we talked about the other day like i didn't know that every single person every single woman on television basically wears hair extensions i had no idea but yeah i don't pay attention to that stuff because what i would love is a guy who was like five nine who got like fucking those heel

things and he made him like six eight and he played college ball but he got so good he was like wearing stilts but he got so good that he could play college basketball and then like but on on the roster it's like he's five nine but he wears nine inch heels oh nikki just wrote a note to me we compared me not being able to see um you know plastic surgery in people and women in particular like botox and all that stuff and lip injections and all the plastic surgery to nikki not being we watched a league of their own the new tv show uh it's all cgi like the baseball all the pitching like the hitting it's all the cgi baseball and you were like this is crazy that they were like oh yeah this is this will pass as as like baseball motions and nikki didn't notice at all but it's all cgi baseball it looks ridiculous well it's like when uh kenny powers and he and Down, when he pitches, he has the worst form.

And for someone that knows sports, it really bothers me. That's why The Natural is so great because Robert Redford. He got game. And what's his name? Kevin Costner, great baseball player. So they could play those roles. And I'm like, yeah, I could. But then once I see a shitty throw, I'm out of it.

Same with every football movie you ever see. If there's a guy that's playing the quarterback, no, do you ever, do you ever see these movies and be like, Oh yeah, that guy can't, that guy doesn't know jujitsu.

Yeah. With like the self defense stuff. Absolutely. It sticks out. Like that's not how it works. My favorite thing is to ask if Chris thinks someone is actually good at sports or not when people are playing on TV. And my favorite thing to say is if that's her actual nose or not.

Actual nose? Yes. There was a person on A League of Their Own who was getting up to bat. And she took a swing and got a good hit and stuff. And Nikki was like, how was that? Andki was like who do you think that she you know do you think how was that and i was like actually that one she's she's pretty good she looked pretty good to me and nikki said that in an interview somebody said that that actress was a natural at hitting and so like she looked good but some of them swing the bat and you're like this is

well i think i think when you become an actor you're either a failed athlete or you've been a theater kid your whole life. So you can either throw or you can act. But that being said, on that note, we're going to wrap up here on the first thing here. We're going to take a break and we're going to come back and find out what happened to that robot after it took heroin. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt.

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When I smoke weed, I get lost in the music. I like to isolate each instrument. The rhythmic bass, the harmonies on the piano, the sticky melody. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Careful, babe. There's someone crossing the street. Sorry, I didn't see him there. If you feel different,

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Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Burning questions for Bob. Aw, that's like, it makes me sad a little. That's for Bob Saget. I think that was done before Bob passed away when he was on the show. It was for when he was a guest

on the show. Yeah. I guess they're for Bob, not from Bob, which would make sense. So we've decided to do our own questions. Not for Bob, but with Bob in mind. Bob can't be here or anywhere. Okay, so we're just going to get to him. We gave Nikki some questions before the show for her to answer,

knowing that she can only speak like a robot. Well, to answer your question, Chris only speak like a robot well to answer your question chris's question about my height from last segment i grew so slowly during high school i did not start hearing that i was tall until i was in adulthood so i never overnight got tall or got boobs i remember the first time a guy said i had a hot body and I will never forget it. It was my junior year and it was at my parents' pool at night and I heard him tell someone the next day that I had a hot body. God, you must have loved that. Junior year in high school?

Man, just hearing that dude's voice. First, I want to say that the way I am writing for this voice is not the way I usually would write. I am not going to use contractions because this voice doesn't know how to use them. Did you hear that? So instead of doesn't, I'm going to say does not. I am going to often repeat subjects too because the word I and he and you are sometimes missed out on. I might also start sentences with more of a worthless lead up because it is hard for this voice not to interrupt because there is a delay from when I press play and it actually starts playing so often times it will interrupt someone. Gotcha.

Roger that. All right. So first question you have been able to speak for almost three weeks do you think after this experience you will be afraid to speak as much or want to so to answer your question

I want to continue to value what I spend my voice on from now on I was talking to a comic Josh Adam Myers who had the same surgery and he said that his voice has gone back to being shitty again because he just went back to doing what he was doing before.

This experience of not talking for three weeks has made me realize that you do not need to talk as much as you talk. Not just me but really anyone. There are so many worthless things I have wanted to say but did not say just because they were going to take too long to communicate or by the time i typed them the subject would seem moot and it made me realize that i did not look back with regret that i did not say those things you do lament some jokes that you didn't get to tell like on the radio show

there was things that you knew would have killed if you could have done it in the moment my favorite part was when you and my brother had the exact same joke and you beat him to it typing and he could he could use the full force of his voice and he's really funny yeah but but like nikki chimed in jack johnson like a split second before he did and everybody was like that was one of my proudest comedic moments even typing she beat another comic at a joke I love this voice

also to add to all of this Josh Adam Myers told me about the lead singer of Evanescence I think her name is Amy he said that when she is working she does not talk all day Anya said the same thing is working, she does not talk all day. Anya said the same thing about the guy she just toured with Eric Hutchinson. Both he and the Devon Essence girl do not talk all day if they have a performance.

They do not socialize unless it is absolutely necessary. So I am going to do the same thing. I am not going to socialize just to be nice or take calls or zoom meetings just out of being polite good i need to treat my voice like an athlete treats their body i doubt that tom brady is using his body to help his friends move just to be a swell guy i can't risk injury to be polite anymore i would love for you to treat your body like Tom Brady treats his body. I was like, help you move? That's a good point about helping somebody move. It's a great out.

I mean, this is like you, I have kids to get back to. I can't help you. I mean, this is fantastic. I just spent $45,000 on this with no insurance covering it, so I am not going to do anything I do not want to do anymore. Wow. Self-care.

Why does insurance cover something like that? Deep throat surgery? Nothing? No. Collective bitch. Fuck, dude. Damn. Came at me hard, too.

You really elected to take some liberties there. Do you want to move on to the next question? No. Not yet, Noah. Okay. I'm just eager. That was Andrew. I miss being able to say funny things

in the moment and have them land. The delay can definitely be funny, but I miss out on way more punchlines than I get from having this British man robot voice. These three weeks have made me realize how quick and funny I really am because I have been stuck inside my head and watching jokes pass me by. I feel like I am Lucy Arnaz in that one episode of I Love Lucy where she and Ethel are working on an assembly line. And I just have to let really hilarious quips go because they will not work anymore.

And the perfect moment passed. She's stuffing them in her mouth. I remember. Yeah. If people haven't seen that I Love Lucy scene, it's kind of the iconic I Love Lucy moment. And it's something worth looking up. But it's basically you'd say like I Love Lucy chocolate factory or or something where she's like running out of time and it's getting faster and faster and she's trying to number 35 best show of all time baby

i love this voice that you're doing because it's like uh i feel like i'm at like a planetarium where or like uh you know uh I went to the aquarium recently. Any M. And it's telling you the story of the lobster or whatever. You respect me more because it is a man. Yeah, I think so. I think so. I want to learn more from you.

Like if you taught me. He's more attracted to you as well. I am watching this show all about Rexham have you seen that with Rexham

yeah with Ryan Reynolds damn near killed him hey man look thank you Noah I'm sorry to everybody else but to listen to that I love the dad jokes

Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhaney bought a soccer team oh yeah it's decent I don't know it actually makes me not like them more the more I find out about celebrity is it a docu-series yeah it's decent i don't know it actually makes me not like

them more is it the more i find out about you series yeah it's like a docu-series i here's something that i feel very very strongly about like hayley bieber was on the was was on some podcast talking about oh yeah this was a news story today or last night or something yes kind of getting into a little bit of their like personal lives and like, you know. Her and Bieber? Yeah. Justin? If they do threesomes.

Intimate moments and things like that. Yeah. All of these people that are like pop stars, singers, they all need to go, they need to get

to a certain level and then become Rihanna, Beyonce, Taylor and be like, do not give people too much. What did she say? Beyonce, 20 years ago.

Disappear. Because Beyonce, right now, we think of her as this ethereal, otherworldly. She might as well be this god from another planet right now because we don't know anything about her. We only know what she gives us in those documentaries about her. She's like, I work so hard. And so we don't know much about her. And even even rihanna she went kind of dark on social media but she used to be a menace out there like talking trash and being hilarious they shut all that stuff out

to be like these kind of ethereal yeah human beings who we can almost like godlike and the more we get like i don't i we shouldn't know about too much about bieber like bieber should be playing what did you learn though about justin bieber like what did she give up just i need to say something i will never be able to do that my whole celebrity is based on oversharing your talent has to be something other than talking about your personal life yeah well i'm talking about something other than talking about your personal life. Yeah, well, I'm talking about musicians. I'm talking about like Rihanna, Beyonce. Do you think it was Rihanna and Beyonce who made that choice

or was it their team that told them, hey, this is probably good for your professional? Sure, it was a mixture of both. It was probably a bunch of that. But Rihanna or Beyonce was on an episode of, what's the Ashton Kutcher show that was like his first- 70s show? Punk'd.

Yeah, that show. Oh, Punk'd. And she didn't come off looking great. Some people come off and they look great. And she just looked confused and just not who we know Beyonce to be right now. And I think at that moment, I have no idea. Somebody was like, we're shutting this down. And she's becoming something else,

like something that people can't wrap their heads around. And now she's the biggest thing on the planet. She can do anything. I mean, the only thing we know about Beyonce that's personal that necessarily wouldn't be out there is that Jay-Z cheated on her. And that was through a song. Highly curated.

Highly curated. All these things are very curated. She has some of the funniest clapbacks on tweets in the past and then she shut it down did you see the ciara i will be sure to read some of them when i can use my voice again can i paraphrase this it's not worth getting into now oh man i might this was years ago was she this was probably like 12 years ago or something or maybe like 10 years ago. But Ciara said, oh, Nikki's pulling up,

so I don't have to. Trust me, Rihanna, you don't want to see me on or off the stage. And Rihanna clapped back. Good luck with booking that stage you speak of. Yeah, I know it likes it. I it i mean look but then there's the other thing though like cardi b leans into that and it makes her a multi-multi-millionaire because she goes i'm gonna put it all that so raw you're not even gonna believe how raw it is but cardi b is

that is not at that point in in her career right now like she could shut it down she like lady gaga you know shut certain things down like you have to get to a certain level and then coast yeah and but bieber is at that level so the fact that that um that hayley's out there she shared that they had a threesome okay so first of all it was like such an innocent um sharing of information she said that the two of them are not interested in threesomes that you know they they it's just not something for their relationship she said that her favorite position is doggy but she likes to switch it up here and there and then she addressed uh the whole selena gomez accusation or not that selena gomez accused her i don't know the story exactly but the rumors were

that hayley cheated what was the mistress of justin bieber while he was with selena gomez and she denied it we need to move on i can't contribute to this at the speed and volume that i want and i feel insane okay mr belding uh. Next question. Okay, I get the next question. What do you miss? Andrew, what new hobbies have you gotten into with the time off from the road and the pod over the past three weeks? New hobbies? I don't know. I live such a boring life that all I'm doing is these freaking F45 classes.

I'm absolutely obsessed. I think I'm addicted. I think I've done 14 days in a row uh i feel like it's a positive addiction still uh i can't wait to get my affliction shirt once i get jacked enough to uh i i don't know like i don't really have that many friends here so it's like a sense of community like i go there just to be around people so i'm not alone uh it sounds sad it's like my best friends are just like culting jim and so like i don't know i mean it's just a way for me to like communicate with people and just feel like i'm part of something and i mean

that's really what i've been doing that and just picking up mango shit. I never realized how big cat shit is until you own a cat. And it takes up... My apartment's not big enough for how big his shit... He takes trucker shit. Don't you have a litter box? Yeah.

Does it make the whole place smell like litter box? We're pretty good about cleaning it. I think your nose... I think you become... Nose blind. Does he not use the litter box? He does. I want to teach him to use the shitter like the cat in...

What is it? Meet the Parents. Meet the Parents. That would be fantastic. Someone told me they had a cat with disposable thumbs that can open jars. Disposable? Opposable. What is it? Opposable. No, he got rid of them. Yeah.

He had the option to. You know, these words, can we stop with all of these different ones? Can one word mean 40 different things? You know, like a Chinese symbol can mean like disposable should be opposable. All the bulls. Andrew, what would you do if you had to type what you say? We should hand this over to Andrew for a little bit and see what happens. You ever do spell check and the word doesn't come up?

Yeah. That is horrible. That is horrible. Yes, I had that today. What word? Ancestry. Diarrhea always gets me I know it's like people say it a lot

but I just I never Wednesday when we get to it I will tell you I can't spell jewelry no matter how hard I try I always spell jewelry wrong that is a tough one what is it J-E-W-E-L R-Y

you feel like there should be more at the end there. Maybe that's what the problem is. Or less. Yeah. We should have this calling. Because we pronounce it, so many people pronounce it jewelry. But it's Jewelry.

Oh, it is Jewelry? So I haven't picked up any hobbies. I've been playing golf less. Well, I had a question for you. One day while we were out, I noticed that on Instagram, up any hobbies i've been playing golf less uh well this i had a question for you one one day while we were out i i noticed that on instagram you had posted something about jujitsu places in st louis i was wondering what that's all about i just wanted more friends yeah there's a bunch of good gyms there are there are and you know i'm i'm worried i'll get hurt like that's my biggest

worry is that i'll do one of these jujitsujitsu. Some guy will put me in an arm bar. I'll be too meat-heady. Instead of just tapping, I'll try to do. And next thing I know, he ripped my arm off. And I'm like, well, I still got my ego. I'm just worried about. You learn who you're rolling with. And then you learn where their limits are and if they're meatheads.

And then the guys that are too intense, you just don't roll with them anymore. Have you done jiu-jitsu yeah yeah is it at gracie in uh in new york on 30 seconds does that 45 ever injure you uh one time a day i hurt my calf and then so now i don't do any exercises that will possibly hurt me that's my new thing is I stay within this parameter of my old body, and I will keep getting better as long as I don't hurt myself. You pull a Tom Brady. Yeah, if I help you move your fucking heavy bed and I pull my back instead of lifting exactly like the way I want to lift, I don't know.

I mean, Noah, you do jiu-jitsu all the time. You went to a tournament recently. Now, is jiu-jitsu getting too big for you where it's not punk rock anymore i feel like you like you like a band like suicide brains or like texas toast i don't know whatever the bands you like you took two great bands you took bad brains and suicidal tendencies and you combine them very good well but is jujitsu if it got too big would you not like it anymore like because it is growing like crazy it is growing tom hardy just got a lot of attention put on it because he won a bunch of tournaments but i don't think it's a bad thing i think jujitsu is such a positive thing and i think if more people have it in their life we would have such

a better place people would be in such good moods and stuff it's not aggro like like what you painted one time years ago one time years ago one time years ago it is the remix no i agree with you but if everybody knew jujitsu you would people would walk around with a little bit more humility because everybody would know like hey we all speak the same sort of language and it isn't like an like an aggressive thing it's kind of like a bit of like a it's like chess and it's like art as much as it is like well it's a martial art you know but it's there's there's an artistic side of it and it isn't fully violent you know there's like yeah it's like half violent my older

brother's addicted like yeah it's awesome he'll like roll for like four hours like crazy it's i don't know i feel like it's one of those sports that if you get into it you're so into it you stop picking up your kids from school yeah it's great sport no are you this is now like 18 subjects ago but one time years ago chris injured his shoulder or back helping move this dumb Craigslist shelf. And I have always felt bad about that. And I had to stop. I had to stop like training and stuff. Yeah, that's good.

You got to stay within. I think that's why stay within your parameters. Tom Brady are having trouble. She wanted him to move some big dresser shelf that Nikki doesn't even have anymore. Wow. How funny would it be, though, if you're in a tournament and it's like whatever, and then you look over and it's Tom Hardy, or you're about to wrestle Tom Cruise.

Do you think it'd be harder to beat the shit out of an actor who isn't even real to you? I'm trying to think the equivalent of a female thing. In jiu-jitsu, if you train, and Chris, I'm sure to you. I mean, I'm trying to think the equivalent of like a female thing. In jiu-jitsu, if you train, and Chris, I'm sure that you also got this ethos, like it's a body. You just get to train with different types of bodies and every single body is worth something

because it's different. And you learn how to deal with all the different versions of bodies. Absolutely. And when you're in there, I don't think anybody who's doing jiu-jitsu is in there thinking about're not i don't think those i don't think anybody who's doing jujitsu is in there thinking about oh this is tom hardy while they're doing it because once you start doing it you're you're competitive like what you do takes over and like

yeah the the feeling of of like you know if his arm moves this way then i've got to go do this so all of that stuff sort of dissipates but tom hardy and and tom cruise are intense guys did you see that tom hardy movie with uh the wrestler no i think it was like the fighter bronson no no no no it's oh the warrior oh no no warrior it was from the wrestler guy i think but anyways yeah yeah i did it was incredible did you see that movie? No. Jiu-Jitsu sounds spiritual. I would say that it is. It really is. I think Nikki would love it. I think so too.

You should come do it sometime. I would do it. Yeah. I'm down. Her hair. Just put it in a... No, you can tie it up. It could be managed.

I can help you with that. It's definitely worth it. I'd be definitely worth it at least even just to try and only like 10 of the moves are hair pulls there's no hair pulls okay can i can i ask my question i have a burning question for nikki all right i want to i think i'll combine these two are you allowed to have starbucks Starbucks and does it hurt to swallow? Good questions. Is that just for Starbucks or anything? I can do Starbucks, but I have to do decaf now, so it was an adjustment.

There is still some caffeine in decaf, but so much less. I got terrible headaches at first and I think I still suffer the withdrawal effects of lethargy and depression. Do you think you'll go right back to caffeinated coffee the moment? No? No. Wow. And does it hurt to swallow? No, the only pain I ever felt was in the five or so days after. The moment? No? No. Wow. And does it hurt to swallow?

No, the only pain I ever felt was in the five or so days after. The pain was from the instruments that were used to keep my mouth open, resting against my tongue and throat during the procedure. So they bruised me. It felt like I had strep throat for those first days, but I just took Tylenol and it was fine. Vocal cords themselves do not have nerves, so there is no pain where the cutting and lasing took place this to see what he he showed us the surgery the next day and he's in there with the tiniest like knife like cutting things yeah and he's just cutting he's just like cutting a crucial part of

nikki's body like like kind of the most crucial part of her career and okay I thought you were going to point lower but the yeah it's literally like playing remember that game Operation where if you touch the metal sides

I fucking sucked at that game now imagine doing that where you get sued every single time you will get sued out your ass for malpractice. You might win, but I don't know. Chris, were you nervous? Like now that the surgery has passed, were you kind of nervous about it? No, I was never nervous.

I was just sort of worried about Nikki and like the emotional effects that I thought were going to like take hold. I was just sort of worried about Nikki and like the emotional effects that I thought were going to like take hold. But I think these last three weeks, I mean, I don't think they've been easy and I don't think, I think there's been like,

you know, emotional times for Nikki for sure where things have been hard, but I, I think you've handled it much better than I thought. Um, because I just thought this was going to be so difficult to not be able to communicate and to struggle to communicate. And when people don't, you know, like how frustrated are you, Noah or Andrew,

when people don't understand you, even when you're just like talking like normal, when somebody doesn't understand you, it's like, you're like, is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with them? Like to not be able to communicate is really difficult. And she's, I think she's done a great job. But no, I wasn't nervous because this doctor, you know, he's the best in the world. You know, he you're just like okay cool he's gonna get he's gonna

get this thing done so i was never i was never really nervous about it even when i went in that first day for like the just like he put the instrument down her throat we saw what was happening where he was going it was gross but i wasn't nervous did uh does he have different actors and stuff on the wall did you get jealous different things to do in the back of the throat speaking of that um i have a question for nikki when having sex what noises or gestures do you do to let chris know it's going swell and has had change? And do you pick up on these gestures, Chris?

Second part of the question. I want to say that his office looks like a planet Hollywood. Really? He does do it? Chris' office? Isn't that against HIPAA, though? Wouldn't that be against HIPAA? Yeah, I mean, I think it's different when it comes to celebrities, but they're everywhere.

You feel like you're at the comedy cellar watching. John Mayer. Because they give him the headshots. There was just a story about 50 Cent. I don't know if you guys saw it. He's suing a plastic surgeon because she was using a fan photo she took with him on advertisements for penis enlargements,

and he doesn't want to be associated with that so that that would that would yeah that would be hippo that would be problem well you know erlacher i think has the same sort of thing there's there's ads all over chicago about hair replacement and brian erlacher i guess has like a full head of hair now yeah and they're implying that they're the ones that gave him his hair back but i don't know that they are i think he's involved in it i think i saw something where he's making money off of it i'm pretty sure i thought i saw either i saw something or somebody was like oh yeah urlacher is furious about these glaze wants to talk and as far as your sex question goes andrew thumbs up goes a long way although i am not going to say where I put those thumbs up. Sex has been as good as ever although I can't involve my throat anymore either vocally or physically.

But I think the most rewarding part of silent sex is that now my voice gets to match what I do physically in bed. Nothing. I actually do miss being able to just be sweet things to him in general. Not just in bed. I came up with a sign language thing that I made up, which means I love you. Ironically, he hates it. Here's what it is. No, I'm not doing it.

What is it? Please can you show it? Oh, she's... So it's a weird thing. Yeah, it's some kind of jerking off motion with the thumb, which I think... A jerk off his thumb. Yeah, it felt very lovely.

It felt... Well, because I started with this thing like, is everything good, bad? Is everything okay? And then she's like, I hate it. I hate it. I don't know why you would. Seems so loving.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't know about this caffeine thing I mean we all know Nikki very well I mean I know this isn't a question That we had prepared but I didn't To find that out blows my mind Like it was more than not talking To giving up caffeine I would feel like you'd be going through withdrawals

Like crazy Like you'd have what four or five a day? The headaches were seriously so brutal, dude. I mean, it's a drug. No one drinks more coffee than Nikki. I really like pretty much out there. And the fact that you had to quit that cold turkey, did you know that going in?

No, right? Holy shit. She said something on the Friday or the Thursday before the surgery. Oh, my God. I'm surprised you went through. Migraines and lethargy and just so much depression. Yeah. I mean, you rely on coffee.

I mean, Starbucks is going to take a hit. Caffeine is a brutal drug. Yeah. Seeing Dave Matthews and not being able to sing aloud, do you think most concerts no one should be allowed to speak or sing? Should everyone lip sync so you could actually hear the guy that you paid $100 to see?

Death to all sing-alongs. I love singing at concerts when the band encourages you to do so. Like for a couple lines per song every three songs or whatever. The first concert I went to where I could not sing anything was Wilco and I felt a bit neutered in just having to lip sync and then Dave Matthews I felt a little less so.

By the time Taylor Swift rolled around I know that I can lip sync without making any noise and it is just as satisfying as singing. So yes. I think people need to try it. If you are someone who sings at concerts during parts that everyone is not singing together or at parts where the artist is not throwing the mic toward you, then you have a personality disorder that should be examined by a doctor. Yes, dude. I am so in agreeance with that. There's nothing worse than when you want to hear.

I want to hear Elton John. I want to hear. Let me say that one more time. Yeah, go in there one more time. If you are someone who sings at concerts during parts that everyone is not singing together or at parts where the artist is not throwing the mic toward you, then you have a personality disorder that should be examined by a doctor. I love that.

I mean, how many times have you been at a concert and some drunk person is next to you and they're just slobbering out Tiny Dancer and you're like, I want to hear the words, you know, and all I'm hearing. They should be executed on sight. Yeah. How? Shot? No, you probably don't want to do a shooting in front of all the people.

It'd be a silent injection. How do you feel about that, Chris? Do you think that, hey, I'm here. I get it. The community, everyone's singing together. There's something beautiful about the artist just giving it up to the audience. Being like, you take away this chorus, you know? Yeah, man.

I think there are moments that are very clear where everybody should be able to sing and moments that people should not be singing. I think that those are most music fans understand those moments, but yeah, you're right. There's always some drunk person that's doing something that you're like, come on. Every time I go to a concert,

I don't know if you guys have this. There is somebody who becomes like the greatest enemy of my life, especially in standing concerts where you're like, I'm standing here and there's always somebody who's like rubbing up against you a little too much or like doing something that it isn't absolutely annoying and inappropriate but the singing thing like you know if it was tiny dancer and it's his last song of the night you know it's anybody should be able to just sing at will sing the whole song but then there's those deep cuts where it's like okay we don't need every single word out of you. You know?

And then choruses come along. If you're like, if, if, if they do like three songs with their friends and the choruses are really important to them, have at it. This is coming from someone I've sang many courses and it's been the

highlight of my life of singing it with buddies, you know, but I've seen people try to prove that they know the songs and that's inexcusable. Dude, I was at a, a fish concert and the guy next toable dude i was at a a fish concert and the guy next to me had a broken leg a broken foot right and if i got near his foot he talked

shit to me and then if i went to my left i was in the hall of the stair i was in the stairwell and then the guy doing security was telling me stay the fuck away from the stairs so i was stuck between a broken foot and the stairs and i was losing my mind and all i'm trying to do is enjoy bouncing around the room and i'm not bouncing around the room because i have to stand like this dude but the guy was so it's funny when you go to these concerts where you think everyone's gonna be chill and especially a fish show you know like everyone should be on mushrooms no they were stuck between a broken foot and stare sounds like a fish show you know like everyone should be on mushrooms no they were stuck beauty in a broken foot and stare sounds like a fish lyric

it is very clear when everyone should be singing andrew you should never sing even if everyone else is singing first of all i've been working on singing. Give me any song. I'll give it my all. We have to go to break. We have to go to break, baby. I fucking love you, too. Take it away, Noah.

Thanks. Andrew. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt,

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I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism, fierce competition, and a generation of women hell-bent on shanking that glass ceiling

welcome to the party with tisha allen is an iheart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment listen to welcome to the party that's p-a-r-t-e-e on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts presented by capital one founding partner of iheartart Women's Sports. When I smoke weed, I get lost in the music. I like to isolate each instrument. The rhythmic bass, the harmonies on the piano, the sticky melody. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Careful, babe. There's someone crossing the street. Sorry, I didn't see him there. If you feel different, you drive different. Don't drive high. It's dangerous and illegal everywhere. A message from NHTSA and the Ad Council. Hey, you guys. I'm Catherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy.

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on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Burning questions for Bob. Sounds like he's not in heaven. Wait, so what is this

segment, Andrew? It's called Burning Questions for Bob. It sounds like Bob's Agate. Yeah, Burning Questions for Bob. not in heaven wait so what is this what is this segment andrew it's called burning i don't know it sounds like bob zag yeah burning questions for bob so we we did a segment when bob saget joined us on the show very early on each one of us got to ask him a question a burning question that we had for him and now we honor him by just calling any kind of question segment burning questions for bob no i like that but i also wanted andrew to struggle through explaining it it just makes it sound like that bob saget's talking to us from hell

now and it just isn't really it's not i don't know it looks he'd probably have fun down there yes it does and he would love it yes he would yeah well speaking of struggling i have a burning question for Nikki. Go ahead there, Noah. Okay, so I was very curious if Arlo and Poppy, your nephew and your niece, if they understand why you can't make sounds and then if you have come up with a way to communicate with them. They don't know exactly why,

but they love it and like me so much more because they are just interested in it. It is funny to them. Also, they started talking like me so much more because they are just interested in it it is funny to them also they started talking to me so much more arlo keeps saying i love you to me now over and over it is so cute and everything i ever wanted the worst part of being silent is not being able to talk to my dogs because they do not understand right you cannot explain it to them they are so used to high-pitched voices and questions you do not realize how much you talk to them throughout the day until you cannot anymore i have asked my parents to keep them through this time because it is just too weird and

they're just so confused and hurt by my silence talking high-pitched is like a treat for a dog yeah yeah i mean it's the opposite of a treat for a boyfriend arlo i like that you play hard to get with it like he's like i love you like i love you like the more silent you are is it annoying not speaking like is like what's defining you now like if someone was born with one arm they'd constantly have to answer questions about it. What's the most annoying questions you have? And like it's got to be annoying that this is all you are now is a person that doesn't speak. The most annoying thing is that people cover their mouths sometimes like speaking to me already before they knew I could not speak back was offensive. I feel bad every time.

They seem to think that not only can I not speak, but that they should not speak to just out of solidarity. I do not blame them, though, because it is really bizarre for a woman to approach your cash register, and when you ask her if she found everything all right, she shows you her phone, and you have to read some shit really quickly. Yeah. Oh.

It would be amazing to have a Karen moment when you can't say a word. There is something confusing about somebody not being able to talk and you get it conflated with something with hearing as well. Because I still, like, you know, I mentioned it last time, like, sometimes I'll just increase the volume when I'm talking to Nikki. There's something that is initially confusing about it. And, you know, how often are people confronted with this?

It's, you know, never. It's just not a normal handicap or one that we are familiar with right not at all what about you guys i mean how is it noah what's your experience with nikki been like has it been a struggle has it been fine well i keep wanting to uh say hey if you want to just like get on the phone real quick and then i have to stop myself from saying that. Have you accidentally called her before? No, no, no, because I consciously, I'm like, oh, I can't call her. I'm also used to getting voice notes from Nikki, which I don't get and I kind of miss.

I miss voice notes so much. Yeah. And dictating texts. Courtney kept thinking you were mad at her. So Courtney from the radio show that I do, she was just like, I keep thinking Nikki's mad at me. She's like, just why won't you talk to me? Yeah, voice notes,

so many things obviously get lost in text. You don't know how a person's talking, what's their vibe like over there. Usually I read it in the worst way possible, even if they're like, if they just write okay, I hear okay like, okay. With write, okay, I hear. Okay. Like, okay.

Like I hear everything as like a bully would say it to me. So when you hear it in a voice note, it just proves like, oh, I was right. She is actually. I miss her. Well,

if you're wondering what it is, yeah, it's way worse. Yeah. I don't know, man. Have you written more? Have you been more... I have become a much better writer in all of my girl group chats.

I can't be as funny without talking, sir. I've had to get much more creative with writing. Oh, that's good. Are you writing more other things or just text better? Was that your full answer for that one? Are you writing more other things or just text better? Was that your full answer for that one? Are you kidding me? Are some relationships suffering more than others? Obviously, we're hanging out more because you're always in town,

but I imagine some people who you are more used to talking to are stopping by or something like that. Or you realize, I don't need to talk to this person which is so sad yes that's true but most of my relationships are via text so they aren't affected yeah that's good well speaking of relationships chris i was wondering now that nikki is off of tour and you guys have your weekends together and kind of like this normal relationship flow what have been some of your favorite dates to go on what my favorite thing that we've been doing consistently is there's this amazing park in st louis called forest park and it's like you know there's part of it that

seems it's like a little bit up on a hill. Do you know what I'm talking about here? Is this your favorite? Art Hill? Yeah. No, it's not Art Hill, but it's just like, they're like soccer fields. And they're kind of like maybe the highest point in the park. And, you know, I've said this for, I went to school in Colorado.

I've lived on both coasts. And, you know, I love a good sunset. And I've always said a Midwestern sunset is very underrated. There's just beautiful colors and you don't need a mountain. You don't need an ocean. You don't need like cool buildings in New York, even though all of that stuff is amazing. A Midwestern sunset is amazing. So Nikki and I pretty regularly have gone to Forest Park, play Frisbee. Nikki will bring the dogs.

We'll play Frisbee. You're like Tim allen for st louis do you ever feel the cool breeze of a michigan sunrise tim if you guys haven't heard tim allen's michigan pure michigan commercials they're the most soothing things that i know about in the world today it is they're like serene and beautiful i want to i want to move to the tim allen pure commit pure they make me want to fuck michigan i want my whole life to be i want to know kind of after the show but i want to know where this place is because it's now i've never i don't think i've seen one sunset here even from our building i don't know i i would think do not tell him

no because i'll look over and Nikki and Brenna are up there. There's a couple that dances. Yeah. We are alone every single time. In this pavilion nearby. We won't be right now. No. A general area.

No. Come on. Give us your spot. No. It's actually in another park. It's Lohmeyer Sculpture Park. Go there. So we'll go to Forest then.

But Nikki, do you agree? Those are some of the most, I think those are some of our most fun things. But we also go to the same, we've been talking, we had a whole list of things that we're going to do while Nikki was in town. And one of them was like, oh, we should go to all these different restaurants.

And literally we go to the same one four or five nights a week. It's just, we can't help it. I love that. It's called Rebel Kitchen. It's like in a parking garage basically. And it's, we go all the time. And it's Rebel Kitchen. It's like in a parking garage, basically. And we go all the time. And it's good stuff.

Yeah, man, it's good. It's fantastic. We went and did yoga. Next to a Best Buy. Next to, yeah. It's behind. It's like in a Best. It's in like the alley behind Best Buy.

It's right next to My Lee Restaurant, which is great pho, actually. Yeah, I hear really good things. Yeah, it's very solid pho. It's like where Adnan killed Heyman Lee. Oh, okay. A men's warehouse is right there, too. I almost brought a shirt. Okay.

We're having fun. So you haven't been more productive. Serial podcast, shout out. Yep. Oh, Adnan. He got out. I mean, did you feel like he was... Did you listen to Serial, Chris?

No, I wasn't involved in any of that. Noah, did you listen to it at all? I did when it came out. Did you think he was... After hearing Serial, were you like, he's got to get out. He's definitely innocent. I don't think I felt that.

But I stopped following the story. I thought they kind of painted him as guilty. Guilty-ish. I don't think they painted enough of a story. He's very kind of painted him as guilty. Guilty-ish. I don't think they painted enough of a story. He's very guilty, if you ask me, but I do not know the new developments. Right. However, even if he was guilty,

I think 23 years is enough to serve. Yeah, is it a 17-year-old boy that killed someone? I don't think you should get life in prison. For like an inconclusive murder. For like a potential murder. He was 18. No, 17. You can't even go to war.

You can kill a woman. Huh? What? She says he was 18. He was 18. He was 18. I mean, look. I don't want to get all Adnan, but...

He was 18. 17. He was 18. 17. He was 18. 17. No, what came out is someone was threatening the girl's life who is now in jail for assault and, like, rape and battery. Like, this horrible person. I don't know if he killed anyone, but, like,

and the prosecutors never made this like aware the defense aware of this so it was hidden so that's why i think i can't wait for the next installment of the podcast oh it's gonna be fantastic are you in them you're not in them did you watch the domer thing what do you feel about no i haven't seen the domer thing nikki had a point a little while ago about um like nude pictures like there was a what was it like when all these nude pictures of a bunch of star like you know i think maybe a-list celebs came out maybe jennifer lawrence was on it and people made a good point or jennifer lawrence or some some of the celebs made a good point was just like yeah you shouldn't look at those and nikki had a joke where you're like i didn't know

i wasn't supposed to look at them. And so there is a thing right now with the Jeffrey Dahmer thing that's like, you know, we're still celebrating these people that have like murdered. There's still a lot. Yeah, it wasn't that long ago. And the families are still around. And every time, you know,

if they make a Jeffrey Dahmer film every 20 years and then a documentary and then a podcast, like all these family families are gonna have to relive this stuff and it just stinks and so i don't know i i'm not like crazy about that stuff anyway like some people are obsessed they have to see every murder podcast they have to do i just i'm just gonna pass on this one it would be funny if like like halfway through they took some liberties on the direction of the story and they're like they like make them like like a redeeming like character well they made him hot

like he's hot right like oh i don't know yeah yeah yeah no he's a he's like a sexy joe perra do you do you know that he's a comedian where a lot lot of people are comparing him to Joe Pera and they think that he stole Joe Pera's voice. And Joe Pera is this guy, his jokes are like, I'll talk you to sleep. Like you would never think he was a serial killer or you would think he was a serial killer. And now this guy is like the bad version of him.

And it got to the point where Joe Pera had to answer questions or at least he did it for publicity. Do you guys know about the Iceman? He was a serial killer. They call him the Iceman. No, what did he do? I think he murdered a bunch of people.

I don't really know what he did, but he just murdered a bunch of people. And my roommate, like 15 years ago, Sex King, he- Also a murderer? No. Well, not that we know of. But this guy used to run a trivia.

Anyway, he would listen to this guy. He did overnight shifts at a kennel where he worked. And he would come home and he would listen to the Iceman's voice. He was a serial killer, but he did documentaries. And he would listen to the Iceman's documentaries as he fell asleep. Because this guy had such a soothing voice. Oh, my God. I don't know.

Was the Sex King? I watched the John Wayne Gacy docu-series and it's great and I thought that it made me realize the victims were actual people. Before the doc I didn't even know about these poor young boys but now I know. Yeah, no, that's a good point

because it can make you... Watching a fictional thing, you care for the character more than a real death at times. Like like oh my god they killed off fucking timmy oh no like people really get sadder than like an actual timmy no timmy's really dead it's like no but i really liked him in the show like you know what i mean like or like you find out the real actor died and you don't even care as much as that character he played right well did you did you see the dimer thing

i saw one i've seen one episode and it just didn't it just doesn't make me feel good i watch those shows and i get in like a bad headspace like it doesn't it doesn't i can't like be like okay let's watch that and let's go play like jenga like it it like takes me down. It like really depresses. I originally thought John Gacy killed like 10 people. And now I know it was like 30 poor gay boys that had been lost and never searched for because they were gay and their families were ashamed. And they were all, they were all like in the basement, I think at his house.

Well, that's kind of what Dahmer did. He killed people that no one, that he didn't think anyone would care. It's gone. And it's actually like a pretty good move. If you are a murderer. Final thought, you don't want to kill uh you know someone that that is like oh my god the homecoming queen like everyone would be like let's get a team together

it's an andrew collin pro tip for all you murderers yeah yeah find someone that no one gives a shit about i mean it's so sad man but yeah they made dom he's kind of like sexy in it in a weird way they make it sexualized that's not good that was john wayne's mistake who did he finally killed someone who people cared about i mean yeah i mean i you know you know it is weird that you always find out the murder is like the boyfriend or the husband you know what i mean like it's always usually that simple it's like well who's the first to do it who has a motive that's why you gotta if you're gonna kill you gotta kill random avi told me that when he was a kid he lived in in maryland and his family went away for the summer his neighbors were murdered by the um the the painter. What?

What was the reason? Was there a motive? Did they not pay him? Did they complain about the painter? Just a murderous... A murderous painter. Just a murderous painter. See, that's the thing. It could be tied to him so easily.

This is why I lock my bedroom door at night. Lock. This is why she locks my bedroom door at night. Lock. This is why she locks her bedroom door. So no one sees your paint job that you did in there of all paint? Julie did a great job. Chris, when you sleep in there, do you... It's not enough to just lock your front door. So you think a murderer breaks down a hard front door and goes,

I'm good on the second door. I think it gives you just a little bit of time because if you hear the front door breaking and then you've got time to do at least one thing. At least it buys you time. You know how quick I could break that door if you locked it? Seconds. Yeah, but even if Nikki get out her phone and call me and I could hear what's happening, that would do something.

For you, you'd be ecstatic. You crazy man. You sex king. I couldn't scream. Oh, you couldn't? Oh, my God. You would have to. What a dilemma.

Yeah. Holy shit. I would have too. Your career or? Yeah. Your life. How funny would it be if the the murderer shows up he's like you have a knife he has a knife and you're like i i am scared i just can't i he's like no

like that's the whole thing frustrated that you're not screaming what the hell i broke that's what it is for him is to to terrify somebody I mean I think a lot of it is power and seeing the fear in the person and Nicky's just like you I am scared I feel bad right now I don't want to call my friends yeah what's that I have been having suicidal ideations during my

depression during this time and I didn't even get to fantasize about it because I just spent 50 grand on my new throat and could not waste that. Speaking of Nikki's depression, the people that have texted the show or like Instagram Nikki nice things during this. I just want to say thank you because, yeah, there's been some dark times for Old Glaze, and it's nice to have a few lovely messages from besties and supportive things. And people said nice things about the first weird podcast back with the robot voice, and I feel like that's really nice of all of you guys to help lift Old Glaze dog spirits. Yeah, people have been really, like, patient and cool about taking the time off.

I mean, obviously, we have a pretty good excuse but still it's like it's not easy to have a show that you hear four times a week and you rely on it while you're driving three hours in traffic and it makes you a little bit happy with your life so we will be back or we are back in a weird way and thank you for being patient for sure and sorry that you have to hear more of me talking and so much less same same you're like people in europe were really cool about me rescheduling my dates there in may oh yeah that's exciting they were in october now they're going to be in may and i think there's like six or seven shows in maybe sweden i think there's one in Israel.

I think there's one in Paris. Yeah, nickiglaser.com slash tour for all of the updated tour schedule because Nikki's getting a bunch of new dates on the calendar. Wouldn't you just prefer me to sort of half-guess them? Yeah, it's kind of fun. You're just going to send them straight to the website

where they can find it easily? I'm sure her booking agent would love that. Instead of being like, maybe Oslo? So thank you to everyone that understood about the date changes. I had to cancel some in America too. Yeah. But a bunch of those are getting rescheduled, right? Yep.

Yeah, good. NikkiGlaser.com slash tour. Well, or I could just start guessing them. I think maybe Albuquerque was one of them. Would you like to guess Andrew's tour dates? Because he's got a couple of those coming up too. Oh, yeah. He's going to be in St. Louis October 5th.

October 6th. But if you show up on October 5th, you get in early, you get a pretzel. Good seats. October 6th, St. Louis Helium. Come out. Your brother, Tim. Yeah, Tim Convey. Is featuring. He's a fantastic comedian. And he's Your brother, Tim. Yeah, Tim Convey. Is featuring.

He's a fantastic comedian, and he's just like a better looking, taller version of me. So I'll get through that in the first five minutes, I hope. You'll cover all of that? I'll try. That's good. But yeah. Yeah.

Or andrewcollincomedy.com. Austin, Indianapolis, some other places. Just like Howard Dean. Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week. Hopefully nikki will have the same british voice or not hopefully not are you meeting the doctor you're seeing the doctor tomorrow so we'll find out more stay tuned thank you so much

for listening and uh jack what jack post and jack post malone jack post i love jack post Jack what? Jack Post. Don't be cut and? Jack Post Malone. Jack Post. I love Jack Post. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that

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