The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #284 Par Three For The Course

Episode Date: October 21, 2022

Nikki morally doesn't know what to do about the Taylor Swift album leak. She tells Andrew all that she knows about Midnights and the conundrum her friend put her in. Nikki shares a story about her friends bumping into Harry Styles and how he refused a photo in the best way. Nikki would never turn down a photo, especially now that she has a new tool for protection (Caution: it did scratch her when she reached into her purse). Andrew is excited about his Weekly Sports Moment about a golf tournament going wrong. Besties leave voicemails about a figure of speech, a sick misheard lyric and deciding not to have casual sex. ----- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: www.nikkiglaser.com/tour Andrew's Tour Dates: www.andrewcollincomedy.com   More Nikki: IG More Andrew: IG  More producer Noa: IG            See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, Angeles, California, and today's off to a good start. I woke up today to a

text from a friend. I shan't say who because I don't know the legality around this thing, but so I woke up this morning at like 7 a.m. and I just couldn't, I was just kind of like dawdling on my phone a little bit before i drifted back to sleep and i saw on reddit that on the taylor swift message board that the taylor swift um album midnights which is supposed to come out tonight at midnight has been leaked as of maybe last night and people on all the message boards are reviewing it. And I am obviously dying to hear it, but I had like a moral issue of like, do I listen? Listen, it's not going to prevent me from buying all the merch,

all the record, like everything, but do I want to hear it? Because it's like, whatever it is, it's like a shitty ripped version. So it's not like it's going to, if I hear that, it's going whatever it is it's like a shitty ripped version so it's not like it's gonna if i hear that it's gonna make her less money somehow but it does i know it would hurt her and she's probably devastated that there's a leak because that even happened she was doing this thing where she would reveal the every like a couple days she would do this thing called like midnights with me with and then she would pull a little ping pong ball out of a cage thing that she would spin and it would be a number between one and oh yeah she was like um yolanda vega do you remember who yolanda vega is

no maybe that's like a number five it's like a 70s thing because it's kind of a 70s style i think maybe it was local it's the only name he didn't listen that song i think so like um in between um nighttime tv like right before the news they would pull the lottery numbers and there was a hostess and she would go i'm yolanda vega she just oh you couldn't forget i'm sure so many besties know exactly what you're talking about but i that's a cultural reference i just missed um maybe it was local to new york was it maybe sorry about that no i like a number yolanda vega well yeah so taylor would be all yolanda vega about it and she'd pick a ball and then she would say track number seven and then she would turn on

her amp and then she would pick up a phone and sometimes the phone would be upside down because she's cryptic and we don't even know what that means and she would go track number 13 is called lavender haze and then she would hang up the phone and that's it and swifties are freaking out like we know the name of a song it's in no other fandom do people freak out about the names of songs yet i even me i was like why is this such a big deal to know the name of a track but it is a big deal because it's just because it just is everything about her is a big deal but even that when you hear them when you hear the name of the track do you think what the song will be about do you feel like you have a good idea

from just the name obviously like 22 you know well there's one called vigilante shit which is such a departure for her because it's only in reputation that you know her fourth album fifth album that she started even cussing or saying that like shit in in songs so to have it in a lyric is one thing but to have it in the title of the song quite another so it's called vigilante shit yeah there's a part of you that goes what could this be about who could this be about um lavender haze immediately made a lot of people think of the lover lyric she was like um and there's a something's in a mysterious way there's a something i forget that there it

sounded like another lyric to her song, and I forget it now. I'm a bad Swifty. So anyway, then she would go in and give little descriptions. Anyway, I'm sorry to become too Swifty on this. That got leaked. Like, her track list got leaked. Somehow, she's in the middle of it. She probably gave away seven tracks out of the 15, and all of a sudden, that got leaked.

And so she was putting these videos out every midnight, every couple couple days and we couldn't really anticipate when she was doing it swifties were staying up late you know um and then one day it was just like she just put them all out like she just put out every video of her picking out the balls because it got leaked and so now and also i just saw these leaks happen here in hollywood scooter braun fucking scooter fucking scooter he's it's probably fucking scooter yeah fucking scooter it is i don't know yeah it is do you think someone sells it do you think it's like a tmz thing you know internally they're doing press kits there's there's so much stuff that goes out before something comes out at her level it doesn't really have to anymore but for instance there is a walmart i

guess that accidentally put it out because they have it all in stock it's not like it arrives and they put it out like it's coming out at midnight tonight but it is already in stores now in stock rooms so there you go there you have it like someone just stole one from a box yeah somewhere and then boom it's out there so i woke up this morning and i kind of i googled taylor swift leak i was just looking for like snippets i didn't want to hear a whole song but i was definitely like it's kind of like how i felt about like when celebrities were you on porn hum leaked yeah i know it felt like that it felt like she doesn't want me to see this this was meant for one person looking at the analytics and I felt like dirty about it

then I went to a couple sites and it was like clearly everything had been pulled off YouTube what did you honestly learn so far that I can't find it but then I wake up after my second waking up to a text from my friend who sent me

he said I know it comes out tomorrow and it said midnights.zip and he sent me the whole damn thing and I don't know what to do with it because I am I want it on let's go through it let's go let's go right now by the time you imagine

oh my god I guess I could listen to it like we would could say allegedly I let's do it and you could hear me listen to it and I wouldn't play it, but that's about all I could offer. And I don't even know if that would be legal, but I am, I am in this weird zone of like,

I want to listen to it so badly, but I do want, I almost want to do, I wanted to do a reaction video, but today my day is so fucking long that, um, that means I wouldn't be able to tape a reaction video till maybe tomorrow and then i can't listen to the album till tomorrow so i just don't know

what to do with myself have you ever been that excited about um a release of something like a golf club a documentary about golf clubs a opening of a golf club near you? Anything golf related? Yeah, like has there been anything that you, I mean, I think that our obsession, like I'm trying to think of. Yeah, I have been obsessed about things, but never like outside of myself where I'm like waiting. I can't think of a thing,

but I can think of like, you know, in a Jewish religion, we have to fast one day and we can't think of a thing, but I can think of like, you know, in a Jewish religion, we have to fast one day and we can't eat or drink water all day. And that's how I feel like your brain is right now. I know, one day.

One day. Talking about anorexic. I did that for nine years. Every day I was fasting. I know what it's like to break a fast and how anticipatory it is. No, that's actually a good, that's a really good example, I think.

If you've ever fasted. I think it's so funny, though. Look, if you send me the zip of Taylor Swift, I'll show you how easily I could wait. You know what I mean? In the same regard, I could show you how fucking easy I don't have to listen to Lavender or whatever. It's kind of interesting though, I have to say. Because she said

originally these are all songs she wrote in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep. Things that would wake her up in the middle of the night. That's what she originally said, right? I'm thinking, these are songs from her whole life that she's written in the middle of the night that somehow haven't ended up on another album. why wouldn't you put songs you wrote in the middle of the night on other albums that you've you know this is her 10th album and then you should come

out with like your next special be 2 p.m or like somewhere like that's like not cool at all i wrote when i woke up at 2 p.m. Jokes I wrote in the middle of the afternoon when I just couldn't sleep. Your midnight album would be Sweaty Bed. Is there an intruder? Dirty Invisalign. Lock both doors. Dirty Invisalign.

Is it poop or spray tan in my sheets spray tan sheets and it we're gonna leak each one oh my god every four days oh that's so funny so you have it in your possession that's how many sleep masks i have by the way i my bed is littered with sleep masks it's just it is they're everywhere in my bed because I, they fall off in the middle of the night and I desperately need one to get back to sleep. Sometimes you can't find when it falls in the crevice. So I just have them everywhere.

So anywhere I reach, I grab a sleep mask and put it on my head. I'm so excited about this album, but here's my thing. And this is no shade. So these don't come after me. I'm just saying at first when she said it was an album that she wrote all the songs at midnight there was a part of me that

was like are we getting old stuff because by the way she's doing re-records of her old albums that scootabrawn now owns right and in those re-records she's releasing songs on those new re-recorded albums that she did that didn't make the album that like almost made it so now she's like a better artist than she was when she made red so she's taking tracks that didn't really make red and actually putting them out there so and they're called vault tracks it's called uh those what they're called like they were in the vault so she's already been putting out stuff that she wrote long ago that wasn't really finished and now there's a whole new scene there's a whole new album that she's like these are songs I've written through my life at midnight.

She didn't maybe say through my night, but these are songs I wrote in the middle of the night when you can't sleep. I think that's what she said. And I found a little bit of a problem with that because I'm like, you've already given us songs from your past. Like this is either a new album or no album.

Like we, I mean, I'll take anything from her. I'll take it if it's like recordings of her, like sleep app recording her sleeping and you just hear her breathing and like muttering to herself. I would gladly buy that. So let me just say, I'm singing over an apnea machine.

And people can say whatever they want about this album that it's like not as good. Like I don't even know what people are being like little bit of criticism that I see. I guarantee you it's fucking amazing because this girl can't put out anything but hits hits she's never not put out nothing but hits so there's there's no way that it won't live up to the hype but um then people are like this but then but then the other night she said someone goes are there going to be like vault tracks on this like things you wrote in the

past and she was like she did a video and she said no it's all new stuff and that kind of contradicts what she said before so you only wrote this album in the middle of the night recently like and but what i think she meant if i were to guess is that these are songs about things that keep you up in the middle of the night and they are all new and i'm very excited about them and we'll see what i think about it on monday i'll give you um i might do a youtube video about my reaction to it um but it's all kind of hard to do because i'm so sincere when it comes to taylor swift it's hard to joke um but i am very excited is there i think it's uh is it rock and roll is it uh no there's no apparently there's no departure because she was doing a 70s vibe for that yolanda thing that no one's talking about like that you know she

yolanda vegas she's spinning this like thing and there one's talking about like that you know she yolanda vegas she's spinning this like thing and there's all of the um pictures from it all the artwork all of the promotional stuff has been very 70s and so everyone was thinking this is gonna be like fleetwood mac this is gonna be like joni mitchell this is you know but it's not at all apparently apparently it's very uh you know for swifty's out there it's very reminiscent of reputation and lover is what people are saying and a little ever more mixed in which is pretty much three albums of hers which are all over the map and those are my three favorite album love or lover and reputation are my two favorite albums which most swifties would disagree with me on that um so i'm psyched and i i can't wait and

it's just so exciting to know that there is about to be like 15 new songs. I might have that number wrong. Forgive me if I do Swifties, but that are going to be like the, you know, the Spotify end of the year, like Spotify wrapped, you know,

where they tell you what you listen to the most. I'm about to put in some numbers on that because this has been like not a great year for me listening to Taylor Swift nonstop. I don't, last year I was in the like 0.5% or something like that of listeners. This year it's not going to be that because she just has to put in anything new, which is not her fault.

But yeah, and I guess I just haven't listened to as much music. I've been like expanding my horizons a little bit, but I am so excited to have new music in my life i'm so jealous of your excitement by the way yeah i am too i'm jealous that i don't have a new art like an artist that's like yeah that's true this is like sports like this is like when football season don't you get so amped up when it's like it's about to be football season yeah and that lasts like two weeks and then i'm like okay really you're already over it? I'll just have it on in the background.

I'm not over it. It's just like you're excited to just have something to fill your day. That's really what the excitement is for a lot of people, I think. They just don't know what to do with their whole day. And a football game. Days are very long. They are so long. I love having long days because you can fit in naps.

But people who don't nap, what do you do with your day? Because I nap during my day. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm trying to think of a musical artist that's out right now that I get excited. I guess Eminem a little bit. I used to at least get excited when he had a new album coming out.

Yes. But yeah, no one. Well, my friends over the weekend, when he had a new album coming out. Yes. But yeah, no one. I don't know. Well, my friends over the weekend, Chris's sister and his sister-in-law and their friend Jamie were in Chicago to see Harry Styles' concert, which I'm so mad I haven't seen him yet on tour.

But the day afterwards, they're going down the street and they went to go get coffee and they saw on the street two girls in hairy gear sobbing and holding each other. And they were like, oh, he must be close. He's somewhere. This is the type of devastation you see

after someone's run into Harry Styles. And so instead of helping the women. It's either their cousin got shot and killed or Harry Styles blew him a kiss. It's like one helping the women. It's either like their cousin got shot and killed or Harry Styles blew him a kiss. It's like one or the other. Yeah, it's Chicago, so it's definitely one or the other. So they quickly go, oh my God. And they know this cafe is one that Harry maybe has,

but like his hotel is around. Like someone has some intel that Harry's hotel is nearby. So they go and they keep walking and all of a sudden they see Harry styles. He, first of all, he's wearing the same thing he's been photographed in all weekend around town. If you were someone who didn't want to be recognized,

wouldn't you wear a different outfit than like a flowy summer dress as a, as a man to not be reckoning. You know what I'm saying? Like if you wanted to be a little incognito, not that he was wearing a dress, that's a joke about how he dresses sometimes, but he was wearing something that was like, they go,

we've seen pictures of him in Chicago in this outfit all weekend. Cause he was doing a, you know, kind of a couple of shows there or whatever, at least a couple. So then they go up to him. Maybe he has like a, Oh,

I was thinking maybe he has a guy or a couple Harry Styles lookalikes and that would make sense if you're wearing the same thing why would you want that though and then he'd go out in like a hat and a mustache and he's fine so he sends out these Harry's all over the place that's an interesting idea

if he were like Bill Murray I'd believe that if he were like a little scamp but I feel like he's not. Scamp might be my favorite word. It's such a funny word. Scamp is a great word. So wait, so they go up to him. I think they're walking behind him.

If you want to hear the whole story, if you're a huge Harry fan, it was on Monday's episode of The Courtney Show. It's on the podcast, and they tell it, and the girls call in and tell it. But Chris's sister, I believe, yelled out, of the Courtney show. It's on the podcast, but, and they tell it and the girls call it and tell it. But, um, Chris's sister, I believe yelled out, Harry, you were amazing last night.

We were there or something. And he turns around and they're kind of talking to him. They didn't talk about what they talked to him about, which I was frustrated by in the, in their call in and the radio show. I didn't get the details of what he said, but I do know that khaki Chris's sister bravely asked for a picture and harry declined oh wow i know he just i mean he was polite about it but he's like i'd rather not you know and they got to have a conversation with him and then emma um tim chris's brother's

wife took a picture of khaki talking to harry and khaki i think was just so in disbelief that he either she was talking to him or he was in her presence and or he turned her down that um she said she couldn't really like function after that but um the hardest part is that they saw two girls were crying they saw him taking pictures with other people all weekend oh no but listen there's a threshold. There is a threshold. I would think. Harry hit it.

Yeah. Yeah. Or that lookalike. It was Sunday morning. I bet he did Thursday, Friday, Saturday. He's doing it all. Like, there has... And I will say, I should have told this to Kaki because I think she was a little bit

hurt. I said, I think it's a more interesting story. First of all, than getting a picture with Harry is that Harry turned you down for a picture. And she was like, you think? And I was like, don't follow up with you think. I was just saying that to be story. First of all, the getting a picture with Harry is that Harry turned you down for a picture. And she was like, you think? And I was like, don't follow up with you think.

I was just saying that to be nice. I don't really. No, I actually do think. I do think that's more interesting. You do think? Yeah, because what is a picture?

If I showed a picture, there's no story there. Oh, she got a picture with him and he was smiling reluctantly. And she does have the other photo where she is getting denied. There's the photo of her just like kind of looking at him and gazing at him and he's smiling and looks like he's having a nice conversation but he apparently asked what section they were in

which i think is a nice cursory question to ask people that were at your stadium concert the night before of like oh yeah i love that section this is great you guys love great signs you know like what else is he gonna say um he doesn't know where st louis is if he was like where are you from he's like from like it'd be like us asking which town are you from 104 in the uk we don't know yeah so um row b that's me but then i live there they were just like losing their mind and they leave and they're driving back from chicago to st louis like five and a and they leave and they're driving back from chicago to st louis like five and a half hour drive and they they emma and khaki can't even talk to each other because they're just like processing what just happened they can't get

over it and emma's like 35 years old khaki's 34 these are grown women with like children of their own and they are they've never lost their mind about someone this much in their life chris is like i don't even recognize my sister. She's never been gaga about guys. She's never even been gaga about Lady Gaga. She doesn't care about this stuff, but she's obsessed with Harry Styles. So they're going back. They're like catatonguing.

They stop at a rest stop, and they run into girls that were also at the concert because they're decked out in like Harry merch. And Khaki can't help herself. And she goes goes we met Harry this morning and these girls are like literally crying because she and the girl goes I've never met someone who's met Harry Styles and the girl is like crying about it and like probably wanted a picture with Kaki and Kaki's like I can't anymore I can't anymore yeah yeah yeah what session yeah all right let's go to break we'll come back with more after this I can't anymore today. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I'm asking, but... What session? Yeah. All right, let's get a break. We'll come back with more after this.

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or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. I wonder what that infatuation is with someone like Harry Styles. I think about, like, you know, I'm here. I live in St. Louis now, and, like, I look around. You don't see a lot of guys like Harry Styles or wearing feminine clothing. I wonder if it's something that's like so foreign.

I have a thought. What is your thought? I think women are starved for femininity from men. And I think men are depleted of any kind of femininity they can't ever be there's it's the same elvis phenomenon if you saw the movie elvis like women were going nuts for this guy that any all the guys were like mocking when he walked out on stage wearing this like pink you know jumpsuit eyeliner guy liner like the whole thing it looked feminine and then women lost their minds they're like coming in their seats and um and i think that's it like i think that men we do love masculine men there's no doubt about it that's we love men but there's women are craving more emotion from

men and more they whether you want to admit it or not i think that so i think there's something could it be that it's like his like uh attitude of like i don't give a fuck i'm gonna go out confidence to the confidence to wear something and to perform in that way and just to carry a whole stadium of people yes i mean and no there's no doubt he is gorgeous an incredible performer by the way and incredible performer charisma he was in one direction so he's got that boy band thing going for him, but he's also like, and he's, you know, he's just, and his music is fucking amazing.

It's like inarguably great. And so, but I do think that women want more femininity from men. And we're all a little gay right now. We're all a little bit gay. A confident masculine man in quote unquote feminine clothes. So it's like a guy that like, he doesn't change. He doesn't like, he's not Mr. Whatever.

You know what I mean? Like he's like, I guess you would say a manly man. He's not manly though. He's not like hammering on the set. He's not hugely muscle-bound with a bunch of really masculine tattoos. He's pretty feminine across the board. I've seen interviews with him, and it's not like he's still... You saw the thing with Chris Prineine when he potentially kissed or spit on him right

like there's a toughness to him that's it doesn't have to be like manly manly but when he does interviews he's very confident he's very like strong in his words and what he thinks women love masculinity so he's definitely a man there's no no question about it. But I think it's almost like the same vibe that like, you know, a more. Like Sting or like. Yeah. Even David Bowie. Like women were crazy about him. Prince.

I always was confounded by women's like sexual desire for Prince because he to me seemed like a woman a little bit. But I was a young girl, so I didn't understand it. But he was extremely. he was extremely alpha like stories you hear about prince is like he did things his way his like he was very like assertive you know what i mean like i think sometimes no but i'm not saying that that's not what i i'm saying though i think people think femininity they'd think oh then they're not assertive. Like alpha male. I also don't think that men just being a man and then wearing a dress is going to be enough.

There is, there's not like, it's not like Harry has feminine femininity because he puts on a skirt and wears like flowery things. There is like a softness to him. And there's an, and as being a singer, that's straight up pure emotion pouring out of him every second. Like it's the most like singing is so feminine for sure. Right?

Yeah. I'm not saying that. I think that he doesn't have both. I'm saying guys will look at him. Like they looked at Elvis, like, Oh, this is a feminine girl.

Like they'll look at what he's wearing and then just judge him based off of that. Yeah, because men want to do it so badly and they're so jealous they can't. And it's like they're just jealous that they can't take that risk because they would be too embarrassed and that it's working for someone else.

I think anyone that like hates on that. But it's also, it is interesting how attractive it is my friend holla her husband john wore skirts in high school and that was the first time i ever saw a guy and this is 2001 this is pre-911 yeah yeah i mean that was the first time i would ever hear a guy it was yeah can someone find it online someone did find me the john mayer set list really the pageant and there's no it doesn't say he opened for guster it got leaked 23 years late no don't tell me what but it is smaller than um so it doesn't

say he opened for guster but what it does indicate is that he was an opener because there's only like eight songs he played as opposed to guster the same night played a lot of songs so shout out to the bestie that found that for me um i got a tool yesterday that i wanted to share with you guys um i got sent to or it didn't get sent to me i ordered it online it is called the GoGuarded. GoGuarded, spelled exactly like you would think. It is a ring, okay? You wear it on your finger when you go running.

Oh, I know what that is. And it has a little rubber, so like this, doesn't hurt. But if I stab you, there is a serrated blade that is so freaking sharp. You have to be careful not to scratch your eye by mistake. What if you, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's so cumbersome on my finger. There's no careful not to scratch your eye by mistake what if you yeah it's so cumbersome on my finger there's no way I would scratch my eye with this finger like you feel it so much and you only wear it running

and you're very aware that you have it and so if anyone like this I had it in my purse yesterday and I was just like digging for an eyeliner yeah and it scratched my finger it's great I recommend it these are great gifts to get for um christmas for your or hanukkah for your um kwanzaa for your for my nephews for yes for your

girlfriend for your wives like honestly this is this is an absolute great they are not i bought this with my own money they don't even know i have one this is not a sponsored ad of any kind it's very hairy style love it it comes in different colors and living in l.a it's tough inside with the aggressive homelessness you know people on meth people on weird pcp drugs where they're just attacking people you read about something new every single day of someone getting just like sucker punched this thing i would really recommend it i have another thing like the tiger lady yeah the tiger lady yeah the tiger lady is more cumbersome it's like a thing you got to hold in your hand and the claws come through your fingers like wolverine this is so sharp it could fuck someone up so bad it's awesome and it's kind of cute so i'm very excited about it and i recommend it go guarded don't dm

me about it and be like, what was the name of that? I said it 18 times. Go guarded. Don't waste my time. Why are you being rude? I'll link to it. I just can't.

I can't tell you how many times people ask me, what is the book that helped you quit drinking? Like literally every day. What is the book that helped you quit drinking and smoking? Is it just a reason for people to reach out to me yeah that was the first joke that um chris ever and i ever said to each other as i said i quit smoking with the book he was like game of thrones and i didn't get it because i thought game of thrones was a show and so i was like what and he was and he thought i was stuck up and like a suck up comedian that like pretends not to understand normal people's jokes and so he thought i was a bitch i thought he was talking

about a show i didn't know game of thrones is a book and um so yeah that we were off to a great start and um but yeah people always ask me what the book is and i i think if you put in my name it's the first thing that comes up i guess it's just an excuse to get in touch with me. But you know what? It works because every single time I write back, instead I just wish I could go like the classic, if you have to ask, you don't know. Like I wish I could do my old clear line.

I'm coming off like a bitch this week and I know there's some people that's like, she's stuck up. Why can't she just respond to people? You would not believe the amount of DMs I get every day. there's some people that's like she's stuck up why can't she just respond to people you would not believe the amount of dms i get every day to i just want to tell people you would not it's and i'm not bragging hundreds of people asking me the most inane questions and it sucks because they can see when you've read it you know so then you just look so rude if you don't write back

if it's a question you can't just heart it. Sometimes just hearting something makes you feel like that's not enough. And it's almost like really rude to heart it. So sometimes I just don't write back to anything. And then that looks less rude than hearting it because hearting it looks like I read it, but I just don't have time to write back.

Whereas if I don't write back, sometimes maybe people can think I didn't read it. But it's like, it's never ending. Andrew, i've heard people go you never wrote back to me so you do the same thing right like it's it's too overwhelming with how much people just send you just basic stuff what the question is some of the things are like they're they need like a full-on paragraph back if i write back but i don't get the shit you get what i don't think people realize with your dms and and i

might be talking for you but you get like you get like four or five in between like a heartfelt message is dick pics or like guys being like i'll eat your feet or whatever so i'm sure if you're dealing with that those are great because they're easy to ignore you know like that's true i guess it's easy to just not write back to those i actually prefer like gross messages because then i just go oh i get to block this person but sometimes people are like i thought you'd like this video i like i was thinking of you when i saw this like and by the way i know that there are busties listening that are like but you wrote back to me and you said you liked it i actually did like it like these are nice things that people are doing but i think that sometimes people forget i'm not trying to be like like i'm i'll say it you don't

only get a shit ton of dms you also get a bunch of texts and emails and you get text messages from people that you work with from celebrities i get text messages from people I don't work with and that I don't know all day long. There is, my number has been leaked. Sorry, Taylor. I understand what you're going through.

And I get text messages all day long. All 15. Hey, Nikki. That's all it says. And I don't know if it's someone who, you know,

changed their phone number and it could be like Joe Rogan. That's how they get you to write back. Yeah. They keep it. Hey, Nikki.

Yeah. Or they go, is this you? And they'll send me a screenshot of someone posing as me online. they get you to write back. Yeah. They keep it. Hey, Nikki. Yeah. Or they go, is this you? And they'll send me a screenshot of someone posing as me online. So I have to write back to them and go, no, it's not me. And they go,

yeah, that really concerned me. And now this conversation started. Someone who has my number, I don't even know. But I talked to Neil Brennan last night. I ran into him, co-creator of The Chappelle Show. And he told me that he is he's done with with instagram

like he's taking a break from it because it's just it just never ends um and he's he's more worried like people will just get he did a joke about kanye or something so now people are coming out against him as being insensitive or whatever and it's just like he's just starting to like panic about it's like go down these spirals of stupid stuff but I do love people writing me but there's something about I don't know I I guess I relate because I would love to be in touch with someone that I felt really connected to but I just gotta say it's like it's a lot and there are certain people that early on they messaged me maybe earlier on or on a day where i had a lot of caffeine so i wrote back

to them once and now it's become if i don't write back it is like they get a little pissy and they get a little like rude and i've never met this person before all i've done is probably give them free tickets when they all i've done is do things for this person and now one day i don't write back and they get an attitude i just just, it's too much. It's interesting to think about when you hear stories of like, I sent a letter to Steve Martin and he wrote me back and I still have it. And it's like, it's such a big deal. I mean, who knows how many letters Steve Martin wrote.

It is a big deal. Yeah, but not as many people. There are people that, yeah. But people wrote these letters. They don't know if Steve Martin read them. You know, that's the difference. Like they don't know that they got, they probably don't assume that it got to his house.

Well, that's sometimes what they do. They go, is this really Nikki or her assistant? And it's like, well, I'm not going to now send a picture of me holding today's paper to prove this is me. I'm not even actually going to write you back after that because I don't need to prove myself to you. I don't, what prove myself to you i don't what what it's it's just

um but i do i am grateful for if you're a bestie and we've communicated a lot and it's always been like nice and cordial please keep writing me it doesn't bother me it's like it's it's um the ones that you have the ability yeah yeah you could just hire a team that just puts out your instagram shit and you never even have to see it again. But then you want control over it. So it's hard to decide whether or not. And I do like some of the correspondence. I know that there's going to be some Reddit thread being like, she's changed.

She's a bitch now. But I swear to God, I'm not. I wish I could write to everyone and be friends with everyone. I'm the same bitch I've always been. She's always been with a new voice. That's old. Like her other voice. I just, the other day, like, I kind of felt for Harry because, you know,

now he's disappointed two fans because he didn't take a picture. And it was like, man, he could have been cooler. And the truth is, yeah, he could have been. How hard is it to just take a picture? But the the problem is i'm sure that if he took that one picture yeah other people would have seen if he was in an elevator i'm sure he would have taken the picture because no one that would be around to see oh you can take a picture with harry styles i want to get in line and so that's what happens i just read so many celebrity message boards and celebrity fans are so rude to celebrities

if there's one little story about a celebrity being slightly not in the mood for it that day. And you don't know what that story is. You don't know how rude that person was that came up to them. And by the way, I love being recognized. If you see me in public, bug the fuck out of me. Ask for a picture.

Have a conversation. Make sure it's not in an elevator. Make sure it's on Broadway. No, never. No. Even if you're coming off a plane. No. Oh, no.

I would never. I love every. Now, listen. This is me right now with about a million followers on Instagram. When I get to, if there's ever a day in my life where I have 30 million, I'm, I actually don't think I'll, I will say, I don't think I will ever not want to take a picture with a fan or like, it's too easy to take a picture, just a selfie. Now here's another, don't give your camera to someone else to get the, because that's not even a good picture. Selfies are so much better because you get closer

to the celebrity. They kind of put their arm around you. It's a closeup shot. It is a better picture. It takes less time. Um, but I love love it i love when people say something and they take a picture um every time i will always love it but and you can dm me and i might read it and write back to you but i'm not gonna hate you if you write me i'm not gonna remember that it was you i don't remember sometimes people go we've written on instagram and i'm like i don't remember because your name is you know whip boy 63 i don't know what that i don't know you as i don't know who that would be and there's and i i wish that someone could just see inside my dm sometimes to understand because i just think that some people think that i could be i just don't i hope you just don't think i'm rude um it's just too much there's only so much

you can take and i just related to harry on the most small scale i mean it's just i can only imagine how much he gets bombarded all the time but that's why i'm like why are you wearing the same thing yeah well i'm thinking his headspace if he's still wearing the same thing four days in a row is either very good or very bad yeah yeah it's one it's one or the other there like if i'm wearing the same sweats i'm probably either the saddest i've ever been or i found you really love those sweats or you just or you just found a pair that really work so i'm guessing it's probably the latter he's probably just like i'm fucking tired i'm i just did a 40 city tour i'm still have another 100 to go you know i look like he was holding a coffee so it was probably like first thing in the morning for him yes i saw a thing too where he'll perform and he has

he has a car did you see that video he has a car backstage like in the in the actual arena yeah so he's just like i'm fucking out like it's just so funny where it gets to the point where you go from i'm gonna wait by a door and say hello to everyone because i'm so appreciative to if i don't get out of here within three seconds i'm gonna lose my mind i don't know it's like it's funny how like it grows so much that you can't handle it like or and i just think that people don't understand it. And I don't even understand it, that level of fame and how hard it must be and the burden of it. And how people have opinions about you.

I mean, his relationship is being taken apart every single day online. People are making assumptions about his girlfriend, about him. Like, just every move you make someone has a goddamn opinion it would be even the small amount of opinions that circulate about me and the very like tiny dusty corners of reddit the times i've stumbled upon them are it's devastating it's devastating to read people having a take on you when they don't know who you are or people who were like i used to like her That's the worst thing is like, she, I used to and now I hate her.

Like there's, she's changed. Like people who get mad when you change, is everyone supposed to stay the same? Do you know that you changed too? Do you know that everyone sheds their skin like every single cell every seven years? She's not as relatable when she was poor. Like now she talks about being rich. It's like, well, what do you want me to pretend to be poor?

I'm sure I'm obnoxious in many ways with changing but it's not it's not i don't know it's uh it's do you think uh and that's why i don't read stuff do you think it has to do with with musicians you sign like these contracts with these record labels where then you have to you get paid in advance so then you have to do a certain amount of shows just because you have to pay back what they advanced you. You know what I mean? I feel like that'd be a tough position to be in, and that's why they go crazy a lot of times because it's like...

Well, they're tormenting you. You have to. Yeah, you have to. Harry's not needing to make money. I guess at this point, yeah. He can afford to pay whatever record company. They're making money off of him. So much money,

but these tours are so lucrative. I mean, he does it because he loves it. You can tell that there's like a joy from his shows, but you know, Emma and khaki who went to the show said that like, it was the greatest night of they've ever, like they've never been to a place with more happiness and that's the same vibe

at like Swifty shows too. It's just like pure happiness but that's kind of the vibe at any kind of, I mean, sporting events, there's a lot of anger as we've talked about

but like music, like concerts are just pure joy. I don't know why I don't go to more of them. I, God, I have a long day

ahead of me. Can we get to like one news story? Sure. Do you want to do a sports moment? Yeah. Can we get to one news story? Sure. Do you want to do a sports moment? Yeah, let's get to our sports moment of the week. This one's pretty good.

Of the week. Here's Andrew's weekly sports moment. I missed that. I missed that. I know. We haven't done this in a while. I found one last night that I think you'll like. Oh, this is from you?

Yeah. It's so funny. Okay. Let me pull it up. I want to guess it almost. I wonder you'll like. Oh, this is from you? Yeah. It's so funny. Yeah. Okay. Let me pull it up. I want to guess it almost. I wonder what it is. Have you heard of any golf moments? I mean, it's going to be about golf.

There's a lot of stuff on the Live Tour, but I doubt it's about that. Live Tyler? You're right. It's not. Yeah. It's definitely not on that. What's the Live Tour?

Don't even tell me. I'm so disinterested. It'd be an hour and a half. Okay. A golfer is suing a Ford dealer and a country club after they did not award him an F-150 truck as a prize for hitting a hole-in-one during a charity golf tournament. Yeah.

So it's the 10th hole, and they said anyone who gets a hole-in-one on the 10th hole is... They posted it on Facebook. There's evidence. And when... This is so funny. When he won,

the country club employee called the Ford dealer, and a person at the store responded, oh, don't tell me. And the country club employee answered, unfortunately, it happened. So then... Yeah, I gotta know. I gotta know. know so they're not giving this guy a car because they're saying that the the country club did not understand what like they just used their imaging for promotion and that the dealership did

not know that this was like being promoted as like you give away a car and they did not agree to it and they just gave them imaging but they did not agree to it. And they just gave them imaging, but they did not agree to actually give away a car. So they're not giving this. So this guy is suing both the Country Club and the car dealership to get this fucking car. The dealership unliked all the posts on Facebook that had this tournament? Yeah, so the dealership liked all the posts

promoting the tournament. Free car, free car. Yeah. I'm sure it said it like 45 times. It went back and unliked it. It reminds me of my fucking friend's ex-husband who cheated on her and went back and when he was having an affair she found that like she didn't know she didn't like she was like really confused because she didn't know he was

cheating on her she just saw one day like on his instagram all the posts with like them together in it all the captions were changed from like, you're the love of my life. Happy three year anniversary. The caption team edited them all to just be like an emoji of like, you know, just like a straight face. Yeah.

Eyes like looking to the side or like, just like one of those whimsical, like stars, like shooting stars. Oh my God. And it said edited on it and he denied it dude this all lines up with exactly because when it came out he was like that's when you were hanging out with her that's when i see all the venmo transactions between you guys because you were

going to have drinks together like it all ends up the girl probably wrote him it's it but the girl probably made no no he did that so that she when she looked at his instagram she would see that their marriage was falling apart girls in relationships look out for your boyfriends and your husband's editing past photos of you because they know that the girl that they want at work who they're kind of flirty with is going to go back on their instagram and see if they have a girlfriend and they want to hide any evidence of her and so they'll go back and like edit it to make it seem like maybe that relationship's over or they weren't as close or they weren't as in love so that lines up with their whole bullshit story of like we're actually

struggling right now and we're separated when the woman has no fucking idea about it yeah so i love the idea of of a photo of their wedding day and the captions, two paid actors. Fun photo shoot. Love this modeling gig I got. Yeah, yeah. Friends hanging out. It's like, dude, you're on a knee. I love my sister. It's like them kissing at the altar.

My other friend tripped me and I fell and put a ring on her finger. Weird. So here's the problem with this thing is that this dealership and this golf club did not get insurance which is a popular thing there is our entire insurance companies that exist for this whole in st louis too by the way it did i remember joe buck telling me yeah someone hit a hole in one and they didn't get the car because it was like a very expensive

car and they didn't think it's ever gonna happen like a very expensive car. And I didn't think it was ever going to happen because, um, do you want to know the odds of getting a hole in one? Like, so I looked into it and, uh, there's a whole article about one in three. There's insurance firms operate on the premise that the odds of something

happening are small enough to assume a repeated risk. Obviously, um, the chances of someone getting a hole in one are fairly small. Uh, what do you think it is for amateur golfers? One what how many probably one in uh 2.5 million way off okay it's one in 12.5 thousand oh that seems really low actually to me and for pro golfers what do you think it is probably one in uh if it's one in 12.5 for amateur so one in uh 600 3 000

oh wow but then uh 450 million rounds of golf are played every year and because of the scale and popularity of sport the feet uh the feet happens on a daily basis so people are getting holes in ones on a daily basis now there's like one i've won you've won when yeah i've won but here's there's a there's a asterisk unfortunately it was a par three course but it was 140 yards so it's a real par three but it was a there's par three courses so there's a real par three to me wait what does that mean so there's like a nine hole par three. So every hole is a par three. It's like someone, they don't have a ton of land. They make it all par threes.

So I made it on a par three course, not a whatever. Anyhow. Okay. Sorry. But what year was this? This was when I was retired in my twenties. And did you get the car? My dad let me borrow it for a day.

Did you buy rounds of drinks for everyone at the golf course because that's the rule i didn't know this was the rule that sucks so you win and then you have to like spend thousands of dollars in japan it is so customary for i read about this is so customary for people to get a hole-in-one in japan and it is like you have to buy every you have to throw a gigantic party and so like so it's a huge industry um to get golf insurance hole-in-one insurance in japan and the off chance that you're gonna have to spend three thousand dollars for a party that night uh what were you gonna say andrew it's like oh no it's just that my dad let me drive his Cadillac CTS around.

And whatever. I don't... It wasn't because of the hole-in-one, but I left the sky roof open just like an inch. And it poured like all night. And it was like when I came home from having my kind of overdose. Remember when I fell apart? Oh, yeah. I've told this story on here before.

But given some context, I just fell apart. and my dad's like finally use my car and literally like the third day i left the sky that's what he thought was gonna change your life was he so mad he was just like dude come on man how did you know what did you do after that with your like were you was that just a new bottom? The sky roof incident? Yeah. Or was that just like more par three for the course? We got to go to break.

We'll be right back after this. Look, there's probably a one in six chance I was going to leave that sky roof open. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. The Daily Show Podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines.

Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. Today is Thursday, so it's time for some fan thrags let's get to it all right noah what do we got today okay let's start off with um naomi hi besties bestie naomi here i have a question similar to the several debate the phrase i'm interested in is just yet how long is just yet um i already googled it and everything and obviously there's no definition like we found with several it's more contextual my context is i'm waiting to hear back from my dream job it's taken a long time i reached out they said thanks for your message i'm afraid i don't have an update just yet we are still in

the process of interviewing blah blah blah thank you for your patience so when is just yet when am i going to hear back from this freaking job? Girl, you didn't get that job. I'm just kidding. Yeah, I don't think so. I'm kidding. I think it would be really different if I'm asking, how long is dinner ready?

Not just yet. Are we there yet? Not just yet. It's such an interesting question. Rude question, but not just yet. Not just yet. You get it. I love this.

So, you know, for an anxious person, person no control obsessing my email every five seconds give me the answer or when am i gonna get back from this job um let me know what you think apply to several more guys and give me this freaking job thanks oh man that's so funny yeah several more jobs andrew is that your definition or the real one what do you think i mean just yet for me it's tough because it's like it's almost like a cop-out by the company i feel like to be like yeah we're actually looking for someone else but i yeah i don't love it just yet. Two weeks? But I don't think...

Two weeks? Yeah, I would say two weeks before you write again. And also, I think it's good you wrote back, Naomi. I think it's... God, I really hope you get this. I am so pulling for you. We don't have an answer for you just yet. Okay, let me just think for a second if I got that.

We don't have an answer for you just yet. let me just like think for a second if i got that we don't have an answer for you just yet i don't think i've ever gotten the answer i wanted when i've been told that we don't have it just yet because generally it goes we should know soon is like more of a hopeful thing yeah um just yet it doesn't mean it doesn't mean like you didn't get the job or that it's it, it's such an answer that you give to someone that you, the girl that, let me just say this. I don't think it's a bad sign about like you didn't get the job. I think it's still very much able,

able to be yours. I think it's about this person has no fucking clue when they're going to know. Like they just, that they're not really worried about filling the position that much they're taking their time it's not dismissive it exactly it sounds like the kind of place maybe you wouldn't want to work anyway and i know that's tough to hear um that's like when i you know a guy doesn't write you back and your friends are like you wouldn't want to be with a guy who doesn't

write you back you're like yes i do yes but he's like i can't date you just yet he has great taste if he doesn't like me i can't take you out to dinner just yet i can't it's a very interesting like naomi i feel like you've just stumbled onto like a jerry seinfeld bit of like what's with just yet yeah yeah when's dinner? Not just yet. That's a different time than if you ask for a job. When is the job? We haven't filled it just yet. It's a great little like, it's such a, yeah, because it does, I wonder what you found when you Googled.

But I would say to you that I would be the squeaky wheel and I would ask again in two weeks if I were you. That's, it's a good question because I was thinking about bringing this up at the beginning And I would be the squeaky wheel, and I would ask again in two weeks if I were you. It's a good question because I was thinking about bringing this up at the beginning of the show. When do you follow up? I feel like if you don't hear back from a text and you don't hear back from an email, are those different times when you follow up with the person? I feel like an email, you could wait a little bit longer.

Like, okay, I'm not going to ask for a follow-up. A text, I feel like time is— Are you email emailing clubs and stuff is that what we're talking about uh this was for like uh i hired someone to like golf clubs do something for me right anything oh well if you're offering a job that's weird like if you're offering to give someone money and they didn't get back to you, you can follow up immediately. You can follow up as much as you want. You're like, hey, I'm trying to give you free money. Are you available or not? That's a good point.

I should have to... I'm here going, I should wait a week before I get this money. You should be just yetting them. Unbelievable. Unreal. When am I going to get that Venmo from you, Andrew, for that job I did? Oh, it'll come through just yet. I'll send you several dollars just yet.

Okay, let's take that out of the equation. Is a text more a time of the essence than an email? You know what? Sometimes, yeah, it's tricky because it depends on the person, right? If I ask a question question usually i know people see text messages like if i'm tech if i'm familiar with someone enough to text them a question um i know they saw it and if it's someone that i'm just like like you know there was a guy last night um or i was running late for a show last night and i i sent a message being like hey what

time is the show running late and they didn't write back and i just like did a question mark on it, you know, just to like bump it up in their thing. It's not going to annoy them. Maybe I have the wrong number. Maybe it's not that person isn't working that night. So it's like fine. But I think that following up with emails is probably,

you would wait a week. And I only know that because I'm the person that needs to be followed up with stuff constantly. And people usually wait a week. And that's why I love the little feature on Google that's like, this person wrote you two days ago. Would you like to respond? They seem to have several question marks in the email. And do you even want to keep this correspondence going?

Would you like to succeed in the industry that you've worked so hard to even get this far in? Why don't you write back to this person that could really help you? What are you scared of? Dad dad why do you have my password like it feels like yeah it's too it's almost a little bit uh oh my god why did siri just turn out you just like something happened that caused siri to go what do you want i think um all right let's get to the next fanthrox naomi good luck on your job i really do i'm i'm sending vibes your way i have a good feeling about it keep us updated what happens okay here's a misheard lyric story hi nikki and andrew and noah i first want to say nikki your voice sounds so fucking amazing i'm so happy for you you can especially tell the difference when you get really excited or passionate about something and you talk at a

higher pitch so um congratulations and uh congrats on being on the other side of your silent time the reason that i'm calling is because i was listening to the pod as one does and y'all are talking about how some disease names sound a lot better than what the condition actually is and it reminded me of this lyric misunderstanding I had in elementary school. My mom used to listen to country music all the time in the car on the radio. And there was some song at the time. I bet Andrew doesn't. I don't know what it was called, but the hook was Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off.

But the way he sang it was more just kind of i just didn't know what he was singing so i would sing leukemia makes her clothes fall off and oh my god it's true i think this is because i had heard the word leukemia but i didn't know what it was and so i just was like leukemia makes your clothes fall off and my mom was like what are are you singing? And then she explained to me what tequila was and what leukemia was. So, I love that. And Judge Judy. Judge Judy. That's a good one.

We can, you know. I guess we could, yeah. We're learning things with the Js. Okay, yeah. It is funny that leukemia is something we often hear about as kids because I guess it's a disease that gets a lot, or it's a type of cancer that gets a lot of press. Whoever's running the leukemia press wagon is doing a good job.

We hear a lot about it. You don't hear about scleroderma until you're 37. But leukemia. Yeah. But yeah, that is. Because there's always one kid from the town that had leukemia. So it was always like one kid. Leukemia makes your clothes fall off. And it's funny that even if you're a kid and you're like,

tequila makes your clothes fall off. Why would a drink make a woman's clothes fall off? It's all so confusing to kids. But leukemia makes more sense because like you probably lose weight your belt is it doesn't fit anymore i don't know i liked it i love a misheard lyric next one that one made my favorite misheard ever just the difference of the line is so good. And I wonder how she discovered that she was saying it wrongly. Did she sing it once? And her mom goes, what did you just say?

Leukemia makes her close. John, did you hear what your daughter just said? Is our daughter drinking tequila? Is she drinking? Are you drunk? All right, final thought. I'm saying leukemia. Okay, let's go to Andrea.

Hi, NoJookie. I have to really speed through this, but this is Bestie Andrea, and I'm currently calling in to tell you that I'm not having sex with a guy who definitely wants to have sex with me. I've always struggled with this in the past because, one, I don't want to come off like a loser prude. No offense to all the virgins out there. You do you,

boo-boo. Two, I've been a really young, corny little bitch. What can I say? And say and three you know you don't know if you want these guys to commit to you because you don't fucking know them you meet them off dating apps but i found three things that have really helped me shift my mindset one i've done the casual relationships for years now and it fucking sucks and it really does not serve me and it actually makes me feel really shitty about myself and i had to like really sink in last year i had to get a coplascopy because some fucking idiot loser gave me hpv and that was traumatizing and made me feel really powerless and three i'm almost 28 and just finished my phd in chemistry which i feel like really aged me and i now feel too old to be fucking around

with these fucking loser idiots yes but the real reason i'm telling you this is because i have said no to two guys who try to keep making moves after we've been making out and boy that makes me feel so powerful i think previously i felt what i thought was powerful when they'd see my body and be horned up whatever but now i'm in my loving my body for what it is era so i'm probably not as hot as i used to be whatever and literally now if these guys don't want me i know it's just because they don't respect me and that makes me not give a fucking shit about them so it's definitely a mentality shift and i know um it's hard to convince people to do this whatever but anyways i love you guys so much i love the pod um and i love all the besties jail jail

that was my favorite one yet it didn't even have anything to do with anything in her call either. Maybe the guy that gave her HPV needs to go in there. I don't know. Oh, my God. Jail. I love this. Yeah, it is. She said it so perfectly.

It used to feel powerful, and yet it does sometimes when like you can make a penis get hard by someone looking at your body like there's some power in that you're just like wow but there is so much power when someone desires you so much and you're able to say like i'm not ready like respect like just not doing it to like fuck with them and like withhold, but doing it because you're actually not ready. Yes. Yes. It makes you want them so much more. Listen,

saying no to sexual advances that you don't really want to do it. You're not ready for yet. You're not like craving wildly is not only. It's just, that's the, that's the thing. I don't think that there are a lot of times though, that I think I've wanted to have sex and just didn't yet because I just knew deep down somewhere I wasn't ready and I was totally scared of getting abandoned by these guys that every time I slept

with they would change so there is a thing of like going against what you want a little bit like because you do I don't know like no what do you know i'm saying like there are times where it's easy to not have sex with a guy because i'm like i'm just like not in the mood this guy is not like actually turning me on enough yes i could easily do it like yeah or like too much i could like making out with him is nice like i'm not totally unsold on the idea like it'd be fine but they but there are times where i'm like really want it and i just don't want to give it to them because i guess i i just don't want to close the deal yet like because i don't i don't actually feel secure if i if there was any anytime there's a hesitation it's because

there's something in you that's not ready yet so like i guess listen to that hesitation and i it's been a long time since we've kind of talked about this but if you're a young girl out there or any not even young if you're a girl out there and thinking that sleeping with a guy before you get what you want out of the relationship whether it be a commitment um and like before you talk about like where what is this what do you want what are we and i'm not talking about like do you want to eventually have a girlfriend do you think i could be that that's not it it's like you're my girlfriend now then you can sleep with them and then some people go no you know why would

you want a guy to be your boyfriend before you even have his dick inside you honey you know if it's gonna be good or not don't act like you have to like eat the cow before you buy it or whatever the fuck that is. Like there's so many excuses. I think women tell themselves so they can sleep with people before because it's easier to like guys want you to, it's hard to tell a guy, no,

it's hard to like resist your bodily urges. But I think, um, yeah, I have a friend who like falls into this trap too, where she's like, I just want good sex. He just has to have a good dick

and he needs to know how to use it. And then it just never lasts or she'll get into a long-term relationship. She gave up an apartment that was so good to move in with a guy. And then they ended up breaking up. And it's just like, it complicates things so much good sex will eventually you'll both get old at some point if you're going to stay together forever and sex

will become not as important to you and also good sex will come if you have a good connection and an intimacy and sorry no one even knew you dropped off it's okay andrew dropped off for a second but i'm so sorry everybody i just think that i'm really proud of that bestie for sharing her story about that yeah and i i felt like from what i heard from her too and i maybe you talked about this when i dropped no i'd love to hear it. But I thought it was like very powerful in the fact that like she went and got her PhD

and it sounded like she like started to love herself more. Oh, HPD. Both. It was both actually. Yes, yes, it's both. No, it just sounded like she came into her own

of like loving herself and not needing that outside of like um like whatever approve feeling a having like a guy having to approve of her like she just found her value within herself and i think like i think if you're like just measuring yourself on how sexy you are and like whether or not a guy will fuck you and you're not going after things you're passionate about you're gonna be stuck in that mold of like oh i gotta give it up you know like i feel like if you find a passion outside of your of sex like it will make you only stronger sexually and not like you have a hole yeah that's yeah it's so true yeah i used to even though i was like a accomplished stand-up accomplished in my career, had all

of these successes, I still measured my worth and I still struggle with it today, measuring my worth by if men want to fuck me. And it's really hard not to do that. And if you're, but that is the goal because men are not going to want to fuck you at some point in your life. If you live long enough, you will lose it. So you better develop some sort of sense of self that is not dependent on you being fuckable and it's hard to do and it sounds like andrea got to it and also it has never ever not worked to be a little bit of

a tease there's never i've never heard one story of a girl having a guy want to fuck her her saying no and that guy never calling again i haven't heard it if you have a story like that share it with us but it's so it's the secret that no one's talking about is that men they they will act in the moment so annoyed if they don't get what they want and you will feel like you are disappointing them you will feel like they're never going to talk to you again you're going to feel like they're going to talk about you behind your back and call you a tease. It works. It never doesn't work.

They will like you more. Don't be the like, don't don't text them constantly. Don't be the first to text them. Don't be the first or the last to text. That's my advice to girls. And I know there are guys out there being like, you're making this so hard, Nikki. How do we know if a girl likes us? pursue us that's what we want and i think there's like a um there could be like a disconnect and like be the biggest like boss bitch you can be

like in regards to your career your work and everything like i think i think there's an idea of like oh men aren't gonna like us as much if we're like powerful and smart and independent and i think that's like something that is old school and the wrong men won't like it's also old school and a lot of men don't like you to be honest with you as someone who is those things i do think it turns men off but i have found a guy who is not intimidated by that and like it's it's not every guy but you don't want a guy that's not gonna be able to put up with that because you're gonna have to give away a part of yourself so if you do have those qualities do not squash them try to like try yeah try to find who you are without any in a vacuum where men don't exist when you are able to carry yourself with confidence and like feel like

lovable without any kind of validation from men that's when that's when you will be the most attractive. But who knows? It's a delicate science. I haven't had it figured out yet. I'm still struggling with it. And we'll keep talking about it. Thank you so much for your messages on the show today. All week, this has been such a great week of shows.

We'll be back next week. I'm still in LA. Come see us on tour. You can get my tour dates at NikkiGlaser.com, St. Louis, Memphis, Thousand Oaks, California, San Jose, California, Vermont, Davenport, Iowa, another city in Iowa. I have two cities in Iowa coming up next week,

so I hope to see you there. Thank you guys so much. Check out Andrew's tour dates at AndrewColin.com. Andrew Colin Comedy? AndrewColinComedy.com Austin, Indianapolis, Buffalo. All in November. Amazing. Come on in. Alright guys, thank you so much for listening.

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