The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #289 In The Waiting Room

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

Nikki is here solo, solo (shout out Frank Ocean), starting the pod number 6 in line for a Covid test at a local clinic. She will be traveling the next two days and didn't want to miss a chance to thank some Besties who cried at her show and one who parallel parked in Los Angeles to say hello. After her first dates back on the road Nikki explains why she has new walkout music and how her material is changing. She had a "normal" moment that she shared with her girlfriends. You Heard It Here First; Nikki is still afraid of "crowd crushes", who wouldn't want a civil rights icon involved in their birth, when a personality makes you ugly and a murder mystery that was finally solved is giving Nikki all the swells. In the Final Thought, Nikki affirms that you will never find her standing on a long line.  ------- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: www.nikkiglaser.com/tour Andrew's Tour Dates: www.andrewcollincomedy.com   More Nikki: IG More Andrew: IG  More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. The Nikki Glaser Podcast I did not have time to get the whole gang together today to do a podcast, so this is going to be just me recording solo as much as I can while I am trying to fit it in throughout my day.

Today I just landed from St. Wait, where was I? Oh God. Sioux Falls. I flew out of South Dakota. I performed in Iowa this weekend. Two different shows on two different sides of the state. Flew into town, flight delays. I've been traveling since this morning. It's now quarter to six. It's quarter to six and I am number six in line to get a COVID test. So right now I'm waiting to find out the urgent care down the street when they can fit me in because I have to get a COVID test because tomorrow I have to go to Boston for one doctor's appointment. You heard me right. I have to fly this. I've done this now twice where I fly to Boston. I'm flying in at 9am and then, or I land at 9. and then I fly out at 3 to go back to Los Angeles. All for one appointment for my post-op with my vocal cord surgeon. And I have to get a COVID test before I go do it.

So I have to go to this urgent care. It can't be one of the ones you do at home. It has to be a PCR. So it's annoying. I feel like I'm in 2021 again, and I don't like it. But it's Halloween tonight, Sunday night. I just flew in, and I landed, and I'm going to a concert tonight. My boyfriend's brother's band, Ludo, L-U-D-O, is a big deal,

and they're performing at the Pageant, which is the cool venue in town and they do like shows all all weekend and so I'm going to that tonight with my parents and I think Andrew might be going with Brenna I'm not sure yeah so I'm just trying to record this podcast as fast as possible which you can't like rush a podcast it has to be a certain amount of time but I wish I had more time but I I'm just gonna keep checking my position in line this is the way i work everything is streamlined so that i don't wait anywhere i'm i love that you get to check your position in line at the urgent care i signed up to be in line while i was in chicago on my layover i started at number nine i I'm now number five.

And that was two hours ago. So yeah, not looking good to be done. I was supposed to fit in a podcast before now and then. You guys don't care. Who cares? All I know is that I had great shows this weekend. And I was a little bit nervous because it was my first dates of the new tour, which I called the Good Girl Tour, because I just think it was a good way to follow up good clean filth, which is the name of my last special with like, I'm a good girl. And it's also a very sexual thing still.

But it's also like, I'm just so good. Like, I'm not dirty at all and the truth is like I did I do it I'm having less and less sex jokes um maybe because I'm having less and less sex no that's not true it's just maybe I'm maturing that's not true either I just you know I always said that I would have less sex jokes when I cease to find it interesting. And maybe that's, maybe that's it. Maybe I'm just not finding it as fascinating anymore. And I'm finding other things more interesting, because it was funny, I was thinking about, you know, I was starting to come out my walk on music, I decided to do Cardi B, WAP, you know, Meg the Stallion,

WAP, we all know it, it was out like 14 years ago. And it feels like I'm, you know, it's a little bit of like, what a boomer move to like, like, look at listen to this cool song I'm coming out to. But I just love that song, because it's so fucking filthy. And it was like the biggest hit it was almost like the same as when that book the subtle art of not giving a fuck kid um made like was like the number one book and i'm like why do i get shamed for being sexual yet all these things that are naughty are like you know number ones and um sometimes i feel like god i need to like clean up my act but um it's nice i don't feel like people even associate me with like filth anymore even though that's kind of was my brand before but anyway i was going to come out to that song and then i have a whole thing about how i like to start that way because it just eases you into what i'm about to

do um but then i realized like i don don't really have that much dirty material anymore. I mean, it's a, it's definitely like not all stuff I could do on the tonight show tomorrow. I would have to, you know, dust it off a little bit, not dust it off.

That sounds like it's old material. I would have to polish it a little. Nope. That sounds like it's not good enough. It's still, it's good. I would have to make it less funny so that it could be enjoyed on TV, I guess. But I was going through my act and I'm like, oh,

I don't really talk about filth as much. So that was a nice realization. I had such fun shows. So many besties came out. Last night I met two girls who cried. And I just want to say that means so much to me. Actually, three girls who cried this weekend when they met me. And that means so much to me because I know that I would be the same if I ever met my idol. This is an idol. You know who she is. JLo.

No, I would definitely lose it so like i know what that is i know what that means when someone freaks out that much like that means i mean so much to them and it means so much to me that um i elicit those feelings in them and it's just so sweet um so i shout out to chrissy grace and jenn and Jennifer for shedding some tears in my presence. You were all so, so sweet and you shared really sweet things with me about what I've helped you with. It just helps me so much because I was kind of down today. I saw a picture of myself from last night's show that was deeply unflattering. I looked like I was swallowed a basketball and I would have liked to be like,

oh, I ate a bunch before the show or, you know, I hadn't taken a shit in a couple months. But that wasn't true. It was just the way I am. And, you know, one picture can just devastate you. And I felt bad because Matt, my, you know, Anya's fiance, partner, whatever she likes to call him. He's my tour manager and he takes the pictures and he does a great job, but he sent me pictures and I was like, I can't post it. Don't bother editing anymore. Like, I can't see this. Like, I thought I looked great and it was not the case. Like, I was doing a quick change though. I didn't have time to look into a mirror because I looked great and it was not the case like I was doing a quick change though I didn't have time to look into a mirror because I go out and I sing with Anya at the end of her set and

then I run off stage I'm like I'll be right back and then a video plays like kind of introing me and I have like two minutes to change so like I changed to a whole new outfit it's a quick change that's what they call it in the biz on Broadway which I've never been, except in Nashville, you know, to go shopping. But yeah, no, I was with someone who's from Nashville this weekend, and she referred to Broadway like, oh, that's what they do on Broadway. Like, oh, this song plays on Broadway all the time. And I'm like, really? This song, Wagon Wheel? She was like, it's always being played at bars on Broadway. And I'm like, when did Broadway become Nashville? Like, we don't know you're from Nashville.

We're not in Nashville right now. Stop, like, Broadway is New York, right? Like, you hear Broadway, you go, oh, New York. I know every town has a Broadway, but unless we're in your town and you go, oh, they play this at bars in Broadway. Maybe even add the word honky tonk. This is played in a lot of honky tonks on Broadway. Like, maybe that will place me in Broadway. Maybe even add the word honky tonk. This is played in a lot of honky tonks on Broadway. Like maybe that will place me in Nashville. But to assume Nashville in any other setting or to assume Broadway in any other setting other than the city of Nashville is in Nashville

is absurd. Where was I? Oh, yeah, quick change. So I went back out and yeah, I just the outfit I was wearing. I wasn't sucking in right i didn't have the right underwear i usually don't mind a panty line but when you can see your panty line on the front of your body that's not a good sign when you when you look like um tim allen in the santa claus like his stomach it was so funny i sent the picture to my girls chat to be like hey guys i'm five months pregnant like big announcement and they were like and kirsten was like oh cool bodycon dress i'm like it's not it's supposed to be like a flowy light like it's supposed to be like a baggy pantsuit like i'm not even joking it's supposed to be like olivia wild style like just like very flowy and loose fitting and it was like it she thought i was wearing like

a kardashian bodycon dress um i was very devastated by that picture, which everyone can relate to, right? I know you're like, Nikki, if you think I'm not, I don't know you're like this. But if some people are like, Nikki, you think you look big, then what do you think of me? It's not about that. You know, it's not about that. I'm just was having a bad morning and just looking to focus on something because something else in my life feels out of control. That's always the case.

But, and honestly, the truth is, I'm just so stressed out about waking up at five or 4.30 tomorrow to take this flight just for doctor's appointment. And I was supposed to take my niece and nephew to go, ooh, I'm number four now, guys, just checked, updated. I'm gonna leave when I'm number three. So I'm gonna keep updating.

But yeah, I just was supposed to be in St. Louis. I was gonna leave when I'm number three so um I'm gonna keep updating but um yeah I just was supposed to be in St. Louis I was gonna stay an extra day here I'm here for this Ludo show which is gonna be so fun tonight I was gonna sleep in tomorrow do the podcast with Andrew and then I was gonna take my niece and nephew to go Halloween shopping but no I have to go to a doctor's appointment in Boston and I'm just a little bit angry about it. And it's not anyone's fault. The doctor likes to see me in person. I offered to go get a scope down my throat somewhere here and send him pictures, but he wants to see me in person. And you know what? He operated on Adele. So I'm going to trust that man that he needs to see me in person. So, and I'm grateful that, you know,

I can even afford to do it and have the luxury of time to do it and everything like that. But, you know, when you have something looming and you're just a stress ball, that's me. But I'm going to try to have fun tonight and be present. I just want to say last thing I got off on a tangent. The girls that I met that cried is so nice. And if you ever meet me and you cry, or if you don't cry, don't feel bad. But if you do cry, definitely don't feel bad. It was so nice. And it just made me like, I went back into the green room after I met them last night.

And meet and greets are always like a lot of energy to expel. And people are always like, not always. I got to stop saying always and like I know you're like these are absolutes that I do not stand by so just know when I say that it's hyperbole I don't all think you're all like this I don't always do this I don't think you're always like this but um I went back in my green room and um I was exhausted by the amount of emotion it stirred in me you know like I felt because I when someone cries in front of me especially like because they're me I want to calm them down I want I want to make

them feel okay about it because a lot of times they're like I'm so annoying this is so lame and I'm like no it's not I love this and and then I almost start crying and it's just like it's so special and it's almost like um what did I compare it to last night? It's draining but in a great way. And I don't want you to ever not do it or think that my meet and greets are like, you're bothering me or it's annoying. It is not annoying. The only thing that's annoying is when people don't have their phones ready to take a picture. And even that, I really don't have their phones ready to take a picture and even that i really don't care but there's i know now like um you know when i said that harry styles on the street

like didn't take a picture i think i told you guys i think it's because he doesn't want anyone else to see to start getting in line because when you take a long time to get your phone out to get a picture people start going what is that person doing and then they line up and then those people like see a line forming and then other people come up and then and it's not about like I want to give a picture to anyone who wants one and I know these are like champagne problems like when when Nikki people want to meet you and take a picture you're such a bitch I'm not I realize how ridiculous this sounds but I've learned that some people want a picture and they don't even know who you are and that's what ticks me off is that they just a lot of people last night I was like walking through the lobby and

someone comes up from the show and is like I want to take a picture and they're like talking to me as they're getting out their phone it's like that's fine but they're just making they're you know being loud and so then other people start seeing and be like who's that I want to get a picture and then they start lining up and then you are doing pictures with people and they don't even know who you are and that I don't want to do um but when you meet me at meet and greets i love it i am it's my it's my favorite thing to do it is it is draining in a way that i don't that is more so than the show itself but but in a great way like i would say oh this is what i compared it to i compared it to having orgasms like i i love like the whole meet and greet is like foreplay because everyone's generally

just like great show i take a picture and it's nice exchange and then there's a couple orgasms where you're like oh my god that's so sweet and you're hugging a girl and she's crying and it's like i'm crying too and i start getting like emotional and and then it's like it feels so good but afterwards you're kind of like oh oh, and you need to have a cigarette or an entire wolf down on an entire plate of broccolini, which is what I did last night. Those are my cigarettes. And I was thinking like, man, this would be, it would be hard. I am not famous enough to have more than two girls cry per meet and greet.

That is like the most, usually it's like one per like five shows I do. But last night there were two and it was awesome but I was like man Being taylor swift where like everyone you meet cries probably would be So draining and that makes me realize like why she probably doesn't like go out much or harry styles Or some of these people that like everyone who meets them cries Because you it's so nice. It feels so good. I hope that someday someone cries over meeting you. But I bet you like it. It's just like coming. That's exactly how it's like. It's the best

feeling. And then afterwards, you're like, oh, and you're just a little bit emotionally exhausted. But the good part is I'm a girl, so I can come multiple times in one meet and greet session. So I have to go get in line and drive over to get my COVID test. And I'll be back either later tonight in the studio, or I'm going to record some stuff on the road tomorrow during my travels. So stay right there. We'll be right back. Hey guys, thank you for listening to this special solo episode of the podcast. I am on tour right now. I met on tour right now. I met besties this weekend.

Please come out and see me. It is so much goddamn fun to meet you guys. As always, if you go alone to a show, if you write me going alone, your name and the city, you're going to only that, nothing else. You don't need to say thank you. I know you're grateful. You can tell me it in person.

Your name or going alone in all caps and then the city and your name, but make sure going alone is first. The other two, you can put them in whatever order you want i will give you a free meet and greet um otherwise meet and greets are available for purchase at the um merch booth i also have new merch that is so cool and is only available if you come see me in person and i love it one of the shirts is modeled off of taylor swift and the other one is modeled off of a wilco shirt yeah i'm on original but i like what i like and I just thought those designs were cool and it's the best merch I've ever had. I'm so excited for you guys to support some of it. Upcoming shows, Reno, Santa Rosa, California. That is this weekend. Then next weekend is going to be San Jose, I believe, and Thousand Oaks,

California. And then we're looking at Burlington, Vermont, Providence, Rhode Island, St. Louis, and many, many more in the new year. Check them out, NikkiGlaser.com. See if I'm coming to your city. I would love to meet you and love to see you. I hope you can be there. I really hope so. John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors.

The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, guys, I'm back. It is still Sunday night. I thought I might not be back till tomorrow, but during the commercial break,

I went to a concert. I went to go see Ludo, my boyfriend's brother's band, is in a band called Ludo. And you might know them. I mean, a lot of people do. This was a three-night extravaganza at the pageant in town. And it's called Ludoween. And during Halloween every year, they come to st louis and do three shows and sell out these this big room and tonight was sunday and it

was packed and everyone sings along they're so good um you should check them out. My favorite songs of theirs are Topeka. It's a masterpiece. Broken Bride Part One, I believe it's called. And then Scare Me is my ultimate favorite song. It's such a good Halloween bop. It is so fun. If you need motivation on a treadmill or out on a run or just a brisk walk or you just, I don't need a new rhythm to fuck to really fast. Scare Me by Ludo, L-U-D-O is awesome. But I went with my parents. They picked me up and we went there and it was so fun and I got to see some people. I ran into a girl from high school that I hadn't seen since 2002 and I really loved her. Sarah Holt, shout out. I ran into a couple fans. I don't know if any besties were there, but it was fun. There was a guy earlier tonight, I went and got a COVID test.

Oh yeah, that's the last time I talked to you guys. So I went and got my COVID test and that was funny too because I left here when I was number four in line, and then I start driving, and then I'm number three, and I'm like, sweet. And then number three is just sitting there, and I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. And then I go to Quick Trip, because I'm like, I'm not going to go just sit in my car in the parking lot of this place. And I stop in QT, and I needed to grab some grab some like dinner equals a kind bar or two or three I think I got two and I really enjoy the dark chocolate uh sea salt ones that are like lower sugar delish and so I got two of those and on the way out I had my airpods in and I was listening to

some probably Taylor Swift let's be honest i was supposed to listen to ludo um to get amped up but i just can't help myself with the taylor swift album which i'll probably talk about even more in just a second so brace yourselves and i'm leaving the quick trip and this guy is walking in and i can't see i can't hear what he says because i have my airpods in if you guys have airpods do you have the same problem where if you have the noise canceling feature you literally couldn't hear a tornado warning if you were standing next to the funnel like you can't hear anything when you've got those on if you see people with airpods and you don't have airpods just know those people

are not being rude they literally can't hear you and so i he said something to me and it was a just a look of like i hi but it wasn't like we knew each other kind of high and i was like oh hey and i was like i just thought it was like a very quick um he recognized me it was just a quick hello and i was like i love that like just to not like like um it almost reminded me of i have friends in australia who are uber famous down there like you kind of can't get more famous than they are unless you're hugh jackman and they're best friends with hugh jackman andy lee and hamish blake and down in australia there's this thing of like they don't like people think getting famous and then being better than everyone

it's called like the tall poppy they call it like being a tall poppy like you're don't be like the other poppies like everyone's on the same level it's like communism you know no it's um it's just about like they don't want anyone grandstanding or you know celebrities being better than everyone else which I completely support and maybe I'll talk more about that in a second because I am kind of tired of that um had an experience the other day where i was just like what why do i get treated so nice and everyone else on this show does not um and i get it like the word talent in in and of itself that's what they call people who are on a TV show who are the people on the show. Like, so if I'm doing like a talk show or like I'm the talent.

And I've always known that. But I think that word really did freak me out when I started being talent. They'd be like, well, you're talent. And I'm like, that is, you know, that's subjective. Honestly, that word should not be extended to everyone that is called talent. And there's something about it that i mean i guess i'm getting to it now talent is just treated better than anyone else on set so like if there's someone you know if there's the key grips can't just sit down and take a break when

we're stopped down stopped down means like production is stopped and there's something happening it's like in football when everything stops and you're like what's going on that's kind of the same thing i really do a lot of great football analogies um and when they're stopped down like the key grip doesn't have a job but if he sits down it's like he'll get in trouble but if i sit down it's like yes please give her a chair find her something i get it like i have to be on when i'm on camera and stuff but i just feel like everyone should be treated equally on set. Do I benefit from not being treated equally? Hell yeah, I do. I mean, I was in a trailer all day long on Friday.

All day long. And was I in a bad mood for some of it? You damn tootin' I was. I was supposed to be on set at 12 o'clock. They didn't really tell me when I was supposed to be ready to be on camera, but I'm guessing around 2.30. So I get there at 12, hair and makeup. By 2.30, I am ready to go. We didn't start taping until six. So I'm just sitting in my trailer. And you know what? That's a fireplace in it who needs that not me i don't know but it was great with snacks and everything what am i complaining but i was just waiting all day and i and i didn't really know when i was supposed to go don't you hate when you're waiting and you don't know how long it's going to be i

think that's the trouble i think that's like just knowing the plan is takes away so much of the pressure i felt bad because i kept asking like what is the plan is takes away so much of the pressure I felt bad because I kept asking like what is the run of show when what you know like once we start the show like what how many acts are there like what's when do we expect to get out of here I just not because I wanted to leave I wanted to leave but like really you just want to know where you're going I used to have like a boyfriend who whenever we'd go somewhere he wouldn't he would know where we're going and he wouldn't like tell me he just like turn right on a street we'd be walking and i would just be like give me can you like you get some kind of joy out of being in control and i

don't know where we're going i like to know the plan maybe i need to just relax and go with the fucking flow but um it does bug me that we're treated so nicely um i would like to see it evened out a little bit not totally because i still i still like all the perks i still want a trailer but like i think everyone else should have a sit down area area um for instance okay so if if we go on lunch break right um? All the talent, like the crew will line up for lunch. And let's say the talent takes a little bit longer to get to go in line. Everyone breaks for lunch. So the crew just heads right out, right? Maybe the talent needs to be, take off their mics and maybe get into robes so they get out of wardrobe. And then they head over

to lunch. And my handlers are the people that are kind of like handling the handlers um chelsea and her brother no um they usually are like cut the line you know like we're gonna get nikki in here to go first and i'm always like i am not going to cut the line for the buffet or whatever you know the thing it just feels so rude but i guess it makes sense because we had to take longer and maybe we have to get into hair and makeup earlier i mean some of this makes sense i just i think there is a lot of privilege going on that is doesn't make sense because i don't know i just you can just sense that there is a fear of talent that is begotten is that the right word by talent being cunty like the reason we're treated so nicely is because talent before me complained and was like i'm better than everyone i need this and

you're like i don't need you know i guess i'm trying to think of like what they give me that i'm just like i can do that myself i don't know it's it's who cares nikki shut up move on go back to um okay so the quick trip guy he said does a little nod of recognition I was like oh that was nice just a quick passing thing I don't really get recognized in St. Louis that much um it happens people sometimes wonder that and I guess I would wonder that too if I wasn't someone who lived it like how much do you get recognized I guess that was actually always very interesting to me about famous people like what's it like and i it still interests me it's one of the questions i always ask celebrities is like what how do you deal with people coming up

to you what's the best way to approach you um you know from behind uh do i you know punch you in the nose like a shark if you get aggressive so yeah he just nodded and I was like oh that's cool so anyway yeah I don't get recognized in St. Louis that much but in LA it happens a lot more and in fact a bestie the other day Chris and I were having brunch on I like how I just said brunch brunch brunch on the street and you know our table was on the street and a girl drove said she drove by and she saw me and she listens to the podcast so she knew i was living in the area and she was like i wonder if i'll see nikki and then i'm sitting there having brunch this bitch double parks and

gets out of her car and comes over to say hi and like leaves her car running i loved it took a picture had a good time hello to you if you're listening that was so nice and fun and just like walking down the street the other night there was a girl that recognized me and that made my night it was very nice so anyway shout out to all those people and every kind of interact i don't know why people i'm very paranoid about being unrelatable now because one person said that i was not being relatable because i was complaining about how i didn't want to get my kitchen done um and she had a right to complain about that like i'm guessing she't want to get my kitchen done. And she had a right to complain about that. Like, I'm guessing she would love to get her kitchen done. And here I am being like, I just don't even want to do it. Like, it's just I have all this money. And I don't want to put it

towards that. Like, I would be annoyed with myself too. So shout out to that girl. You have every right. But I guess I'm a little paranoid right now about being unrelatable. But you know, I, I can't, I'll try to be like, I, okay, I'll be relatable right now. Well, I guess I was relatable before. I saw a picture of myself that ruined my day. Who doesn't experience that out in the world? Jesus Christ. Do men feel that way as often as women?

I shout out if you do, but I was talking to my girls chat today. And we were all talking, I was crying about my, chat today and we were all talking. I was crying about my I did cry today. We've been counting our cries and our comes. And I cried today on the plane because Kirsten gave me permission to do so. She private messaged me after I complained about looking bad. And she was like, hey, are you OK? And just that tenderness just like breaks me.

Does that ever get you guys when you're like crying, like you got to cry and then someone just puts their hand on your shoulder gently or just goes, come here. And you just go like, and it's like, lets you release. Um, yeah, that always helps me cry. So she gave me permission and I cried a little bit, but, um, just had some tears falling down and, um, God, I'm all over the place it's late can i it's 11 o'clock and um i have to be up at 3 30 to take my flight so i'm a little scatterbrained but i go to my covet test after the qt interrupt uh interruption uh interaction um and i get my covet test and i go in and i've been there three times now because I get this COVID test every time I go to the doctor and or every time I go to get to Boston

to get my vocal cord checkup or to get the surgery I have to get a COVID test to get into Mass General which is the hospital there and I go to get my COVID test at this place that does PCR rapids which is not an easy thing to find someone to give you. So I go in and I recognize a lot of people behind the counter. I recognize them. I'm like, hey, and I asked for a picture. No, they I go back and I'm waiting in the room. I'm number one now. And I'm like, yes. And I'm waiting there. And there's food TV network on the TV. I can take a waiting. I was like, that's so nice that they have a waiting room in the little exam room. Or they have a waiting TV, a TV waiting for you to watch.

It was Food Network, some like Halloween challenge that I was at first rolling my eyes about. And then I was gripped by a challenge they had to make zombies at a speakeasy. I'm like, have they run out of things to do on these shows? The category, the challenge was you have to make a ghoulish speakeasy. I'm like, that is so oddly specific. Anyway, I'm in the waiting room and then all of a sudden they knock on the door.

I'm like, yes, I'm getting my COVID test. And then these two younger technicians, I don't even think technicians, they work the front desk. They come in and they saw me when I signed in. I thought there was a little bit of recognition, but I've also been in there a bunch. So I didn't even think anything of it. And they hadn't said anything before, but they go, excuse me, were you on Dancing with the Stars? You guys, I never get recognized on that show. And it's so funny. This happens a lot where i'll go oh my god yes i was like do you want to know about dancing with the stars whenever i meet a fan of dancing with the stars i'm a fan of dancing with the stars or at least the experience that i had so i love to give

people insider info about the show that they love and not insider info that's going to break their heart about the show i mean i could do that but it's more stuff that's like oh you want to know who's actually like the nicest in the world and who's the who's funny and who's cool and like what it's really like to do it they really didn't care about the details i was spilling all the deets i was like val is the nicest sasha is the nicest um that's where it ends no um uh brandon is so nice alan is so nice um and the rest i just they're not that they weren't nice i mean there were a couple people that weren't nice but i won't name names but um most of people i just didn't interact with them emma was very nice anyway if you're dancing with the star's head um and they they just didn't care they were just like oh and

they it's almost like i come on too strong sometimes to fans. Because I'm like, oh my god, I'm so glad you said something. Because they're like, is this weird? And I'm like, no, let's take a picture. And we took our mask down. We took a picture. Anyway, so I leave. I get a negative test.

Or I pay them to give me one. And just kidding, I got one. And I leave. And I go home. And I go to Ludo. My parents pick me up. Go to Ludo. And we're standing there.

And all of a sudden, this guy like kind of double looking at me. And he goes, hey, QT earlier tonight. And I was like, oh my God. He was like, I was the guy that like nodded at you. And I was like, I had my AirPods in. He was like, no, I knew. I just wanted to give you a nod. And he was so nice with the nod.

Like, can I just say this guy? Like, I really just appreciated his interaction with me. But then he got a little too drunk. And then it was just a little bit obnoxious drinking just never brings out the best in people but he was super nice we had um he wanted to have a moment with me during one of the songs that we both really loved and that was sweet um but shout out to that guy um you were so sweet and you were nice to my parents but you were a little drunk. But there's nothing wrong with that, unless it's ruining your life, which I'm guessing it will eventually. But for now, you're a great guy, and I had fun. And it was cool to see him again later that night.

And then I just got home, and I packed a lot, and that's my night. Let's look at the news. You heard it here first. Yeah. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. So in lieu of doing news stories that Noah has picked specifically for me, I am just going to go through my Reddit and go through just the news stories. So let's go to it. Okay, here I see something in entertainment 50 cent tells yay to start

shutting the fuck up it's really funny to tell someone to start shutting the fuck up you need to start shutting the fuck up why is that funny like it's because it's like usually you need to shut the fuck up but like start shutting the fuck up means you need to prepare to do that or it means you it's just a funny way to say it oh he tells him to start shutting the fuck up means you need to prepare to do that or it means you it's just a funny way to say it um oh he tells him to start shutting the fuck up amid hitler fandom allegations people are really hurt true dat and i didn't say that because i'm talking about two black men i just would have said true dat anyway but it did sound really um just like a honky white person trying to sound cool um yeah it's it people are really hurt isn't

that that's what a great way to say it first of all love saying start start shutting the fuck up and also say people are really hurt that's all you need to know people are really hurt but you know i would guess that kanye is really hurt um and he clearly is. I mean, his divorce, stuff with his kids. He's clearly never recovered from the pain of losing his mom. The pain of not really having a relationship with his father. I mean, that guy is in a lot of pain. And I hate to say if he could help himself, he would. But he can't.

And so I'm so sad about it and i'm shout out to all of my jewish listeners and friends out there who are feeling extra sensitive right now that sounds bad um are feet are just feeling this and feeling like this kind of um this percolating hatred for who you are that you've kind of always felt your whole lives and then it's just it's being amplified right now and uh it just sucks and it must feel really shitty and i don't know what that's like to feel and so i'm really sorry if you're feeling that okay moving on um did you like that moving on it's like after a really poignant statement but i swear to god i really do um feel for all of you and um yeah and i love you okay this is in technology new compound discovered that destroys the MRSA super bug okay so MRSA is an infection

a bacterial infection i think let's see um it renders it more vulnerable to antibiotics and lab experience yeah so i only bring this up because i had mercer once when i got a my first brazilian bikini wax this girl had just been trained she definitely like it wasn't clean stuff my boyfriend was coming to visit me my My parents were out of town. I was living with my parents probably 2009 summer. And they were out of town and my boyfriend was coming into town. He just moved to New York from St. Louis. But he was coming back and we were having the weekend together. And we were going to have so much sex.

And I got a Brazilian. And it got in. Oh, my God. It was the worst, you guys, it was the worst. Okay. Honestly, earmuffs, if you are sensitive to disgusting information, but about body stuff, but every single hair follicle on my vagina was ripped out. And then imagine all of those hair follicles, a white head forming like literally thousands of them and

it was i just didn't even know what to do it was it was so painful it was terrible it was i'm just so sad for myself because i didn't know what to do i was also so ashamed because he was my new boyfriend i was trying to do this to be sexy for him and then it fucking backfired so we would be having sex and i wouldn't let him look at it or but it was so painful obviously to have sex but i didn't have enough of a you know i wanted to have sex with him but i also didn't have enough self-esteem to be like i can't like i'm injured right now i just like you know we never saw each other so i would just hold my hand over it or put like a cloth on it or like a wet rag over like my mom's pubis. Why do I know what that is? Like the top part, you know, and just, oh my God, it was so awful. And I remember I had a party and I had

invited her when she did it. And so she came over the party and she didn't know that I had been infected. And I was too embarrassed to tell her that I was because I thought I had done something wrong. And I remember he like made a joke because he I told him not to tell her either, even though he was well aware of the pain it caused me. And I remember him making some statement like, hey, it looks good. Thanks for making her look great. Like, you know, like kind of like, haha, like because she was like, oh, did you enjoy my

work? And he's like, I'm a big fan or something and i was like oh god we're both lying to her i am in so much pain and then it turned into because then mercer lives in your nose so he's going down on me down there and it gets in oh man and i got i got a mercer infection and then my parents get back in town he's long gone i mean not like from my life but eventually he's long gone he's back in new york i'm living with my parents i am in so much pain there is pain shooting down my leg like all over my body it felt like i it was like in my heart i was just incredible pain and my i my dad was just like that's just a spider bite because i had these a couple of the hair follicles were so infected, they were just gigantic and red.

And puss, oh my God, it was so bad. My pussy was pussing. And my pussy was pussy. And my dad was just like, take an Epsom salt bath. And so that was like kind of the start of realizing my parents don't like to seek medical intervention. They just are like, wait it out, you know? And oh, it's just probably a spider bite, Epsom salt in a bath. And so I did that a bunch, didn't help. I finally go to see a dermatologist and she's like, that is a staph

infection. That is MRSA. And I took some antibiotics. And I remember I went to San Francisco to do some shows that weekend and I was on the plane and I was in the most pain I've ever, one of the most times, worst times I've ever felt. It was shooting down my leg and I was just like crying in agony and I got to San Francisco and it started to like feel better

and I remember it was one on my butt and I remember it burst on the street and I felt this gigantic gush of fucking watery stuff go down my leg i'm so sorry for the story no one deserves this let's move on okay um sports no thank you don't read about that um so the moral of that story i guess is you're not gross if you get an infection from getting a brazilian you don't need to get a Brazilian. Just get a good razor. Like get a men's razor and shave your pussy hair with the direction of the hair.

Not against it, with it. And then get tinned skin. Tinned skin if you are prone to ingrown hairs. And use that after you shave. And that should be able to be avoiding stuff and if you do get in gross just grow your pussy hair out like who gives a fuck um let's see julia roberts reveals martin luther king jr paid the hospital bill for her birth what in the fucking fuck roberts said her parents were close friends with the civil rights activist and his wife whose children joined the theaters their theater school and were targeted as a result okay well that is a headline you would never think happens one day coretta called my mother and asked if her kids

could be a part of the school because they were having a hard time finding a place that would accept her kids my mom was like sure come on over who knew julia roberts parents had a shop they ran the actor and writers workshop in atlanta before she was born and segregation made it so that the kid the kill clucks land blew up a car outside the school i don't know i guess i'm just reading all over this thing um yeah in the 60s you didn't have little black children interacting with little white kids in an acting school and your parents were like come on in king marveled in response to robert's story i think that's extraordinary and in sort of lay this to groundwork for who you are oh i guess

gail king did she was she talking to yeah well i'm not very good at the news i but i am reading from an article and trying to paraphrase as i go so um i've heard uh not great things about a person mentioned in that story that i guess i don't want to be specific but i've heard stories that that person is pretty out of touch do i do i have them um firsthand yes firsthand from someone who saw this person act a fool and i think i've you know if you go on enough if you read enough about i sometimes forget what i know about celebrities because i've friends with people who know stuff that have told me or stuff that i've just read online but i don't think jul Roberts is the coolest person from what I remember reading. I'm sure everyone who works with her fucking loves her. And I'm sure one day when I have a talk show and she comes on, I will eat my words and this will come back to haunt me.

I stand to be proven wrong. And you know what? I also say whenever someone has a bad story about a celebrity, it's often because they've been hounded so much and they're annoyed and maybe they are on vocal rest i realized that the other night i think so many singers are on vocal rest and they come off as being so rude and quiet to people that work venues or like you know bands that open for them and they think that the person is rude but they're just on vocal rest they're trying to save their voices so maybe that could be i don't know but that's just what i what i've heard and i'm not going to give specific

stories but there is a great story i remember of just not her being rude but just being a little bit out of touch where you're like yikes okay let's see what else we got here marjorie taylor green saying pelosi deserves death resurfaces after attack um of course that is out there that fucking woman and every time i see marjorie taylor green's face on anything i think it's me for a second that is a horrible person to look like i'll tell you and every day it gets closer and closer that she's not listen if she were a nice person if she had a if she had the kelly clarkson type kindness we would be like she's beautiful but because she's such an ugly foul horrible person that just says the cruelest the dumbest cruelest things didn't she think gazpacho was oh she called like the gestapo the gazpacho

she says shit like that all the time. She's a true idiot. Because she's such a bad person, she's ugly to me because she's an ugly person. So I don't want to look like her. But if she were like a Meryl Streep type like warmth to her or like had that kind of soul, we would all think she's beautiful. So she's not like an, you know, objectively bad person to look like. I wouldn't mind aging into someone that looks like her. But because she's so awful, I just hate looking like her. That makes sense. Moving on. Let's take a quick break and come back with more after this. How about that? I think that's a good idea. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news

and pop culture you get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment politics sports and more from john and the team of correspondents and contributors the podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. Oh, my God. I know what I want to talk about more than anything. Holy shit.

Okay, so today, they announced that they arrested a man in connection with these murders that i have been following since they happened i don't know if you guys remember the delphi murders this is not turning into a murder podcast like we tried to do that one day and when we were in cabo filming perfect strangers too that's not happening but i am so fucking excited i mean excited is the wrong word i'm relieved i just feel a sense of closure and i can't even imagine how the people um you know close to this murder feel um so two girls in 2017 libby german and abigail williams 14 and 13 respectively were

killed in 2017 they were it was like a day where they either didn't have school or they got off school early or something and their parents their mom one of their moms took them to the park and they were like on these like old abandoned train tracks at this um at this trail and the the part that fascinates me about this and then they they were murdered and we have no details about their murder but they were found i think a day or so later i don't know the exact um uh you know timeline because everything around this has been very it's been very kept hush hush except they released a photo of the guy so these girls oh my god it's giving me chills just thinking about these poor sweet girls they before they were murdered they sensed that this man was following them and they started filming him on snapchat and so there's a photo of libby or one of the victims um walking on the

train tracks and then they took video of this man they didn't release the video because apparently it gets kind of disturbing he's either like you know it's it gets ominous um apparently no violence is captured on the video but they record record, these girls are so smart, they recorded him. So they got a picture of him and it's the spookiest fucking picture you've ever seen. If you've never seen it, just type in Delphi, D-E-L-P-H-I murders picture,

man on tracks, man on tracks. And that's the only picture that they released of him. And they released some composite sketches that from one girl who I guess saw a man either before or after. And a young girl who was on a park bench and she saw a man walk by and he like gave her a weird look.

And she said hi to him because he was kind of staring at her, I guess. And then he like gave her a weird gross look. So anyway, this is a headline I'm reading. Chilling photo uploaded to facebook a year after delphi murders shows arrested man's daughter 28 pose in same spot where oh my god so this guy so the guy that is arrested is named oh what richard allen he worked at a cvs as a technician now these guys no one there's been no information about this, like no leads.

I thought that we were never going to catch this guy, this disgusting man who's just out there. I mean, this creeped me out. I'm on subreddits about these murders. Like I, I don't know why they've been fascinating me. It's that creepy picture. Oh, and there's also audio of him. So they captured his voice too.

So the police obviously have a recording of his voice and whatever happened. And they didn't release the whole thing. But they have him going down the hill, down the hill. And it's so fucking creepy. I don't, it's giving me chills just thinking about. So they have this creepy ass photo. And then they have him saying down the hill. And there have been times where Andrew is like sometimes dressed like this.

And I go, you look at the man on the tracks and he doesn't know what i'm talking about but this is what i'm talking about this man on the tracks it is such a creepy photo so finally this was 2017 you guys they found so the girl's bloody bodies were found about a half mile from the bridge alan was arrested on friday in connection to the murders the first big break in the case oh and so this just came out that his daughter they you know now they're invested now we have his name and all these internet sleuths are pulling pictures of his family and this girl posed a year later she posed on the same tracks where these girls were murdered where her dad murdered you know allegedly not even allegedly there's going to be a press conference tomorrow

which is today monday and um i really i'm just so excited not excited but i'm so happy for these families who finally have relief so it says after the news of alan's arrest broke on friday another disturbing photo oh man this is crazy another disturbing photo of the man um began to circulate the shot showed alan which is this the guy smiling with his wife while in the background over his shoulder i'm getting chills again literal goosebumps everywhere mere feet away a police sketch over his shoulder of the delphi murder suspect so a police sketch of him is over his shoulder in a photo i am getting creeped out i'm alone in my apartment right now and i'm getting creeped out um since alan's arrested it was also revealed that his home was less than

two miles from the Delphi train bridge well everyone was saying it was like a drifter that did this and like it couldn't be a local but um but then I was reading some stuff on reddit today and they're like the way he walked on that bridge it just looked like he'd been there before and it's like now now that you see what the guy looks like and then you see the photo you go oh my god of course he has a gray beard you see things in the photo that you wouldn't have noticed without the details that you now know you're like oh my god they were this photo has so much in it just the way he's walking like you can kind of see like this isn't a guy that's like like worried about walking on these weird kind of train tracks he looks like he's like been there before so yeah it's just so

fascinating anyway um indiana state police said in february they knew who killed the girls but that they had insufficient evidence to make an arrest it is unclear whether they were i don't remember that it is unclear whether they were referring to alan or not the rest of alan could be the end of a years-long investigation during which numerous possible leads have led nowhere. Yeah, exactly how the girls died remains unknown to the public. So, yeah. Oh, well, I don't want to read this, but I will. I'm sorry if this is disturbing to some of you, but maybe some of you are interested in it.

I don't, man, this is like really giving me the willies. Over the summer, the details of a search warrant revealed that Libby and Abigail were found covered in blood and that their killer appeared to have taken a souvenir of some kind. Okay, this motherfucker. Over the summer, the details of a search warrant revealed that Libby and Abigail were found covered in blood. Another killer appeared to have taken a souvenir of some kind. Okay, this motherfucker. And if you guys look at this photo of this guy, look him up. That is psychopath eyes.

I read this book called Diary of a Psychopath, I think. And even that talks about this woman wrote the book. And now she's revealed who she is. Let me just find the book so you guys know exactly what I'm talking about. It's so good. She just talks about being a psychopath. It's like written by a woman that is a psychopath. And of course, it's not showing up on this fucking thing.

But anyway, if you look, psychopaths have like these weird piercing, like kind of dead eyes. And this guy has those eyes. I'm telling you, go look at a photo of him. They're just, they're like shark eyes. And even when he's smiling, there's like, there's this one where he's with his wife. There's a selfie. They both have sunglasses on their hats. Go find that photo. And you tell me that guy does not stare. It's boring a hole through my head. I'm dead. This guy's eyes are the creepiest eyes I've ever seen. If I met a guy who was my CVS pharmacy technician giving me my antibiotics for my flaming enraged bacterial infected pussy and pussy and though I had saw those eyes I would

say no thanks I'd rather die from an infection than even like then give you my CVS number and have you hand me my long receipt it's terrifying oh my god I'm like zooming in on it I hate him so much anyway I'm just so relieved by that um i've always that was just something that was always in the back of my head like i can't wait till that guy gets caught and this morning i was sitting at my gate next to anya and we i'd just shown her david pumpkins do you guys know that sketch from snl they really they redid it last night with jack harlow it was with tom hanks it's so funny watch the original david pumpkin sketch it's so random you can just tell this was like a sketch that was like last minute

and they were like what is this i mean a lot of goes into the production of it but it was just kind of like i don't think they realized it was going to be such a hit but i remember it like i saw it air the first time and i was obsessed and i'm so glad that it became a cult hit, but I was showing Anya David pumpkins and we were laughing and then all of a sudden I pulled up daily mail because I wanted to see, man, I'm a morbid bitch. Okay. I was pulling up the daily mail because they always have like the most

disturbing kind of pictures and, um, they don't, they're not scared to like get in there and really invade people's space and just show you things that, you know, you shouldn't see. And I was trying to see about this thing, the crowd crush that happened.

I saw some footage of it and it was just horrifying. And I don't like video, but I don't mind images. I'm such a weirdo. I'm not the only one. I am not the only one. I mean there are tons of gore sites people love this stuff and i don't it's not like i like to see people hurt it's so distressing to me but it like it gives i guess it's the same reason people like horror movies which i don't understand

or like redecorating their kitchens but i don't understand it gives you a thrill and it gets it sends something off in my body but i don't like it um but i do but i don't um so i was trying to look up pictures from that i am so sad about that crowd crush i can't even believe you know just how scary that must have been for them how and the fact that they're all dressed up there's something about wearing halloween costumes when you die that is so much more tragic and just like ironic and um i don't know i hit a garbage man with my car when i was 16 and my friend taylor and i taylor you know from the show the hobo you know train hopping hobo she and i were driving and i was driving my mom's SUV and I hit a garbage man that jumped out from a car and I didn't see him and um I went to court for it like he sued me four years later I mean it

was a whole fucking thing and he got he got really hurt it was fucked up and it was really sad and traumatic for obviously him and me as well but we were dressed in 80s outfit we were dressing costumes because there was a um a basketball game later that night we were on the pep squad so we went to her we're at her mom's house like raiding her closet getting all this like you know suddenly seeking susan is that the movie we looked like you know madonna in the 80s like red lips and crazy frizzy hair and just like crazy neon outfits and it just made it that much weirder that i remember just looking over at taylor with her like frizzy hair and just um mom jeans i mean we were probably dressed like we dress now like just tight jeans pulled all the way up like mom style um big

blouses and it just made it so much more surreal that we were dressed up but if you saw any of the pictures from this weekend i mean all these young kids just were going out in Itaewon, which is the cool part of town. I don't understand, though, why people like to go to things like that. I didn't like it in my 20s. I'm not victim blaming. I just don't understand. Final thought.

I don't like crowds. And now that there's a thing called a crowd crush that I knew about, but I didn't know it was called a crowd crush. I mean, we saw it happen at Astroworld. It happened at a Who concert in the 70s that my mom was out in Cincinnati. That was like the original one. I mean, there were ones before that's like, I have a crush who's in a crowd and we're going to lock eyes across the room. It sounds like something romantic. It sounds like a scene in West Side Story. My crowd crush. But I read a Wikipedia of all the crowd crushes that have happened in history. Dude, there's one that happened in like ancient times

that was 5,000 people died. There was one that happened in 2010 where like 2,000 people died. A lot of them happened from religious, what is it called, when they, pilgrimages. They happen a lot in those. But, and a lot happened from fires. Someone yells fire, then everyone starts running. I did hear reports that the one in Itaewon, the one that happened in Seoul this weekend, was like five guys were just pushing from one side

just five people caused 150 something people to die if i was a victim i'd be really annoyed that i don't know the exact number and i was just like 150 something but it i think it was 146 last time i checked and then it went higher um anyway crowd curses are terrifying and i hate crowds i i will not go to a restaurant if there is a line out front. And not because I don't like crowds. I don't like anything that is too popular. And not because I'm cool. I don't know why I said it like that, but not because I'm cool.

And like I'm trying to like, I'm just different. I wanted to try out things that are like no one's into. I just feel like a dumb tourist when I do anything that's like too popular. Do you ever feel that way? I always feel like if I go to a brunch spot that has like a two-hour wait First of all, I hate waiting you guys know that I told you that in the beginning I don't like waiting for anything and so I like to plan everything so I get there and then it starts because waiting equals You might like have time to feel your feelings and you can't do that because then you'll want to start killing yourself. So Or start shutting the fuck up. And a ham drip.

So I will not go to a brunch spot that is a long wait. Chris, my boyfriend, just knows that we, if there's a place that has a wait, we will not wait for dinner. We will not wait. I just don't want to do it. I don't, I feel like an idiot. I feel like I'm at the Cheesecake Factory

at the mall in Dayton. I just feel like a dumb plebe. I feel like an idiot. I feel like i'm at the cheesecake factory In at the mall in dayton. I just feel like a dumb plebe. I feel like a lemming I feel like i'm at the m&m store in times square that i'm just like new york city I just feel like you're just doing what everyone else is doing And by the way, I do so many things that everyone else is doing. I want to be like everyone else I want that's why I was sad the other day that I wasn't redoing my kitchen. I'm like, I just want to be normal. But in that way, I don't want to be normal. Does that make sense? But man, I'm so scared of crowd crushes now. That's why I always, when I'm at a place where I go, I genuinely look for fire exits. I look for a strategy in case there's a fire. I want a crowd crush plan. I have plans of action

for a lot of tragedies and I don't have one for that. I was thinking yesterday, I was like, okay, maybe I would climb upon people. I would try to climb up, but then I would cause, I would trample people in doing that and I don't want to kill anyone. So what is the plan? I would try to do the thing that Andrew does if he slept with someone the day before and he sees them as Sephora the next day. And I would pretend I'm invisible and hope that I would disappear. I don't, I just want a plan. In a fire, I'm always like, I have a plan. I'm like standing by the exits. An earthquake, I know I'm going to go to a doorway or a table. I'm not going to run outside. That's what people always do. And trees fall over. Buildings fall over. Signs fall over. Don't run outside in an earthquake.

Have a plan. Do I have a go bag? No, I don't have a go bag. Taylor was going to make me one because she's a survivalist. And I was like, can you make me a vegan go bag? And she was like, I'll try. And so she's going to make me a vegan go bag. I'm going to hire her to do that because i definitely need one especially living in california i'll probably just have a bag that i call a go bag that i go in that i take

shits in because i just want to have a little portable toilet so that's going to be my go bag is a bag i just go in um yeah i think this about rounds out the podcast i feel good about this uh solo episode i missed andrew i missed noah sure, but we got through it. I'm trying to think if there's anything else I want to tell you guys. I am on tour and I hope you come see me. It was so much fun to perform this weekend. I have new jokes. My parents and Anya and Matt, my tour manager, were all like, holy shit, your set is... I mean, I don't want to speak for them but I will I would never say this if it wasn't true they were like it's it's next level like there's we've never heard any of those jokes this is like I felt really good about it like after hearing their feedback I really never know

what to feel about my set I'm always a little bit too critical and never really feel that great but hearing their feedback which they don't always say that to me it meant something so i hope and listening to the fans too like meeting people after the shows and hearing them say what a great show it was one guy said i was like he was like i saw uh ginger cookie last night or uh ginger boy some like guy some um comedian slash TikToker. And he was like, your show is better. And then someone else said that they saw who they see. I love when people are like, that was some someone told me I was the best comedy show they've ever seen. And they had a list of good comedy shows. So that meant something to me. So the reviews are in and they're great. So I am going to be all over the place. And I told you about that before during the show, I think, at some point.

So come out and see me. And I hope you all have great days. I'm trying to think of anything else I need to tell you. I'm going to be traveling all tomorrow. We will see you on Tuesday. Getting my hair done Tuesday. I'm excited about that. Really getting your roots done.

I hate to say it. Makes you feel better. Oh, also, I got told this weekend, oh, so I was waiting after my plane ride to St. Louis, it landed. And I had to check, gate check, you know, at the side of the plane, my guitar bag, because it wouldn't fit in the overhead from Chicago to St. Louis, my layover to St. Louis. And so I was waiting in the hall, waiting for them to bring out the luggage. And there this guy that was like I saw you with a guitar do you are you in a band what are you playing I was like oh no I'm just a hobbyist I'm not good I was like do you play guitar and he was like no I wish and I was like you are younger than me start playing like don't

think it's too late I started playing two years ago and he goes you're younger than me and I was like yeah dude and I was like if you're 30 I was like 35 so he's like you're not 35 and I was like I'm actually 38 and he was like no way and this guy was not hitting on me by the way he had two kids with him he was like very mormony looking but it was so nice of him to say that I I had never been told I look young for my age never ever in life. Now I hear it told to other women all the time. And I'm not kidding you. I've never heard it. And that's okay because 38 is not a bad age to look. But this guy made my fucking day that he said, no way you're 35. And I go, I'm actually 38. I have a friend who looks literal decades younger than she is. And I was

like, if I were you I'd be telling my people my age all the time because people are shocked when they find out her age you don't even know her age and you might know who I'm talking about but you don't even know her like you you would be blown away someone you know is so much older than you think they are and if it were me she doesn't like to tell everyone. If it were me, I'd be screaming it because she looks so fucking good. I mean, literal decades. People think she's younger than me and she is much older than I am. It's nuts. I hope to be that someday. I hope everyone thinks I'm 30. I hope it stops now. Not that it really matters, but I do remember

the only time it happened to me where someone thought i was younger until today there's been one other time and i swear to god and it was demarcus where he's a footballer i don't think that's what they call him when you play american football but he plays he was a football player he was on dancing with the stars with me and we were at the finale and i probably told this before because it's so funny we were at the finale and so we're back there just having been eliminated but we're there to support the people that are still in the running and we're sitting down during you know the show was stopped down you guys know what that means now because I told you before and he goes I said something about my age he goes you're 34 and I was like yeah and he's like you're 34 and I was like uh-huh he was like no you're 34. And I was like, uh-huh. And he was like, no way are you 34.

I go, I am. And he was like, oh my God, really? I could have sworn you were 32. I mean, I was like, what the hell is the difference? It made me laugh so hard. I thought he was getting ready to be like 25 or something, you know? But it's two years younger and i'm like i guess that is a major spot of your life where age starts to click in if you are younger than me which i know a lot of our listeners are and you're wondering as a girl when

you're going to start to feel the effects of aging i would say 35 for me was when I started to see like my face kind of start to change in certain ways and start to see like wrinkles and stuff in ways that you're like, oh, I started getting Botox. I looked at it yesterday or I guess I just tried to figure out like, when did I start getting stuff done? And if you're wondering, when should I get Botox? Listen, this is not me telling you to get stuff. In fact, I got filler about a month and a half ago and I regret it. Like I, I think I got too much in my cheek. So I look a little bit crazy, but it's fine. I'm used to it now and it's going to drain out of my face. That's a good thing about fillers that your body metabolizes it and eventually goes away. But, um, I started getting Botox, which I do recommend. I think it's

great. And I don't think it's like a sad thing for women to do. I don't it's like you're gonna waste it's not that expensive I just think it should be looked at as like dying your hair not a big deal but I started getting it when I was I'm gonna say it was 2017 so I was 34 34 yeah 34 was the first time I got Botox so if you're looking for like a time when you should do it not that that's the time to do it. I think I could have waited until now, to be honest with you, or ever. You don't ever need to do it. But I really was very clueless in my 30s about when do you start to have to do this shit? So if you're wondering. Anyway, I got to go to bed. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast today. Do not be cut. And Jack Harlow was okay on SNL. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.