The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #294 Caving, Space, Planes, Surgery

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

Anya Marina is in Nikki's room at the AC hotel, Andrew happens to be at an AC too but in Alabama. If ever at the hotel gym, Nikki will pretend she is in a music video to finish her workout faster. Don...'t put music on crappy speakers, ever. Nikki's nephew Forrest who is a baby, is a musical prodigy. You Heard It Here First, our personalities changed in the last 2 years, dreading things that don't end up being so bad and where to get privacy. Andrew doesn't hear "condensation" in Nikki's voice as she goes through her Reddit Dump. In the Final Though they determine their attachment style but the lyrics they like.    Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: www.nikkiglaser.com/tour Andrew's Tour Dates: www.andrewcollincomedy.com   More Nikki: IG More Andrew: IG  More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.
Starting point is 00:01:02 You are cordially invited to the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. or wherever you get your podcasts. and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you know that 70% of people get hired at companies where they already have a connection?
Starting point is 00:02:54 I'm Andrew Seaman, LinkedIn's editor-at-large for jobs and career development. And on my podcast, Get Hired, I bring you all the information you need to, well, get hired. Landing a job may be tough, but Get Hired is here for you every step of the way with advice on resumes, networking, negotiation, and so much more. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeartRadio app,
Starting point is 00:03:16 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you like to listen. podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser podcast. Welcome to the show. It's Tuesday. How you doing out there? I'm doing pretty damn good. We just recorded Monday's episode. You know I'm going to be transparent with you. It's Monday here. But it's Tuesday where you are.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Anya Marina is here. I'm in San Jose in a beautiful the AC. If you have a chance to stay at an AC Marriott. Wow. I'm at an AC Marriott. I pull up and I go, Andrew Collin. Yeah. Really? Aren't they so good? Fantastic. Big fan. What do you like about them? You're at one in Huntsville
Starting point is 00:03:59 in Alabama. Andrew's in Huntsville, Alabama. They're really nice. I really recommend them. They, Alabama. They're really nice. I really recommend them. They're clean. They're modern. The gym has everything you need. I mean, what do you need in a gym? What is a tiny little... A big bouncy ball for my
Starting point is 00:04:16 big booty. I mean, when I hear guys say... It has everything a girl needs. But guys like to do i'm lifting some heavy weights i'm using that big bouncy balls do you really use a big bouncy ball yeah i'm doing physical therapy on my knee so i need to do these squats with the ball up against the wall i need a yoga mat and i need oh then there's a lot of stuff no one to look at me while i squat across the room
Starting point is 00:04:41 with my rubber bands oh i was in the gym yesterday here and i was just i i don't get to like really talk outside of doing the podcast or uh being on stage anymore because of my fucking voice but um i was uh because of what hands me tail chris oh yeah yeah well you yeah, legislation, the way the world's going. He said hands made. Hands made. Hands made. Hands made. Is it handmade?
Starting point is 00:05:10 Is it hands or hand? Hand? Hand made. Oh, hand aids. I heard someone at the show this weekend reference. A manta ray? I heard them saying a manta ray. So I overheard a manta ray and I was like, ah!
Starting point is 00:05:24 I got a lot of messages about that. Yeah, apparently. That was so satisfying. I told so many people about it after the fact. I was like, it started out as me going, can you believe this woman didn't know what a manta ray was? And then it turned into manta ray. Nikki, what are you, what are you saying, manta?
Starting point is 00:05:40 And I go, yeah. You go, no, it's a manta ray. And I go, oh, you thought thought how do you spell manta ray and you go a m a it was like it was so many levels of like
Starting point is 00:05:49 you weren't even the person that was like the one that didn't know it and it ended up being like I bet you that person feels better you knew what it was you heard of the creature
Starting point is 00:05:59 I have a question if you saw one Andrew if you saw what you lived with one? Yeah, in Florida. We shared, I had a water bed.
Starting point is 00:06:10 It was in your bathtub. If you saw a single manta ray in Florida, and you wanted to say like, I saw a manta ray, would you say, I saw an manta ray? How would you say it? Just one? Yeah. a a manta ray would you say i saw in a manta ray how would you say it just one yeah no honestly what would you have said i mean we cover this on the podcast he just thought people say i don't think you thought i think your answer would have been i saw a manta ray but you just think people say it that way. Like I saw elephant.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Yeah, I saw elephant. I saw tiger. I saw manta ray, I guess. Yeah. Damn. Or a manta ray. You wouldn't think to say a manta ray? Or and?
Starting point is 00:06:59 It just feels very sea-like when you say it like that. I don't know what it is. Because of sea and enemy. That's why. Yeah. There we go. Now we're getting to the roots. We covered that the like that. I don't know what it is. And because of sea anemone. That's why. Yeah. There we go. Now we're getting to the roots. We covered that the other day.
Starting point is 00:07:08 What? Okay. Yeah. It's confusing. Life is weird. So, oh, the gym. So I was in the gym and I was lip syncing to Taylor Swift. And I just love when I get to like, the only time workouts go fast is if I can pretend
Starting point is 00:07:22 I'm in a music video or like really sing along to it. And it was so fun to be alone in a gym because you can really let her rip. But you can't do that in a regular gym because people look at you like you're crazy. But you could. There are people that just really let loose in gyms and just do what they need to do. Well, I walked in and there was one other guy in the gym and he was listening to music with no headphones and he was like listening to like the cheesiest like like i don't know just like a very cheesy music that but he like quickly like turned it off and i was like hey bro oh that's nice playing it
Starting point is 00:07:57 keep playing it what are you doing that's nice he's like don't worry about it quickly turned it off yeah because he was alone he can listen to it without of course no i'm not even mad about it i actually i i was you know i also had headphones like with noise canceling but it's it i i don't mind it some people have a problem with that though i have a problem when people do it and they don't they don't ask you first so they don't show a little bit of you know and i hate shitty speakers so when people are like i want to listen if i'm trying to show anya a new song i go let's just wait until it's on good speakers because everything's gonna sound like shit on this like if i want you to really like a song my friend katherine shout out if she's listening she always used to listen to her laptop to listen to music and she got really offended once when i was like
Starting point is 00:08:37 what you love music why are you listening to it on as someone as a musician don't you get offended when people listen to music on like tinny terrible it depends on the situation i listen to a lot of music on my laptop just to listen back to things so sure but yeah but if you're like trying to have a sonic experience yeah you should have my speaker you gotta get in your car you get in a car and you turn it up yeah yeah i mean i guess i don't get offended i was just like i just want you to experience this the best way you can. And I remember her being like, it really hurt my feelings. But that was in college, and we've moved past that.
Starting point is 00:09:10 No, a lot of musicians will get in a car to hear everything. You really get the experience. It's surrounding you. It's like, what does it sound like? You're in this little box. Yeah. Last night, Anya and I were performing before the show on Instagram Live, on the podcast Instagram.
Starting point is 00:09:24 And we had the music for the loaded music. night anya and i were performing before the show on instagram live on the podcast instagram and um we had the music for the loaded music you know when people are loading into the shows we play a spotify playlist and but we were at this really cool theater that had really good um speakers in each of the dressing rooms so that you can hear what's going on on stage so when people are doing quick changes or the ballet or whatever they can be like oh the nutcracker this part is like they just know where the show is and it's great because when i go for a quick change i can't ever hear whoever's on stage and this time i got to but we couldn't escape the music and we wanted to play music so we went into the bathroom and i sat on the toilet and anya was in the shower and we were playing we had these
Starting point is 00:10:02 toilet sessions it was so fun we're putting out a B-side record of just the toilet sessions and every time Nikki would be at a side. Probably helps that I'm not shitting in there. That's a really good point. If you were there, we would not have been able to enter for at least 40 minutes.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Oh man, can you imagine if they were like, okay Nikki, we're ready for your vocals. Andrew's done with the bathroom Get in there Get in there It's warmed up I know that Christina Aguilera
Starting point is 00:10:29 Recorded Beautiful I am beautiful That song She recorded it Laying down on the ground No matter what they say She was laying flat On her back
Starting point is 00:10:40 I don't know why I know that I just remember Maybe Found an apple too Really? I've seen video of her. Because she was on heroin.
Starting point is 00:10:46 No. Has she put out a new album in a long time? Why did she stop recording? What was the reason? Christina Aguilera? No, no. Fiona Apple. Oh, she recorded one in 2020.
Starting point is 00:10:57 It's really good. Yeah. It's really good. I didn't like it the first listen. I've been listening to it recently. There's this one song where she's like, Shaniqua said I had potential. Oh, it's so good one song where she's like, Shaniqua said I had potential. Oh, it's so good.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Shaniqua said I had potential. I cannot stop listening to it. It's so good. It's about growing up. It's so good. I like that album a lot, too. It reminds me, Shaniqua says I had potential, reminds me of the song that we came up with this weekend
Starting point is 00:11:20 where we were talking about our friend Taylor, and we were in the car driving to a gig, and I was seeing if Taylor could send something because taylor was staying at my place and i was like anya do you know when taylor's getting back from guatemala because she's in guatemala right now and she goes i don't know and i go i gotta check the girls trip thing to see if she's told us and she goes when's that bitch get back from when does that bitch get back from guatemala when that bitch get back from guatemala and then caleb was like that sounds like a great fucking song when's that bitch get back from guatemala when's that bitch get back from is that was it was that
Starting point is 00:11:53 yeah but you have to make it a little more urban so just when that bitch get back from guatemala i don't want to get canceled so i'm gonna keep it bright and light and white when's that bitch get back from Guatemala? It's a big hit. It's a top 10 hit here. Oh my God, last night. Speaking of saying racially insensitive things. When's that bitch get back from Guatemala?
Starting point is 00:12:12 You did? You did? What about your nephew's beat? Did you already talk about that? Oh, yeah. That was another thing that happened in the car. Your nephew has nice feet? No, my nephew, my sister sent a video of like,
Starting point is 00:12:24 I was like, I just am craving seeing the kids. So she just filmed the kids and she was just kind of like making a video of Forrest who is less than one. He was born, oh, it was on Thanksgiving, he'll be one. He's standing up at the table as babies do and he has like a marker in his hand and she says he's like very musical.
Starting point is 00:12:42 And I know all parents say that, but I've never heard her say that about her other two kids. And she says that he just like, is always like beating on things and like likes rhythms and i swear to god this is on loop of him but i just that was that was forest i saw that that was forest there was nothing else going on in that video i felt like he had like spoons on his feet too like There's something, there's another clickety clack that you can't really place going on in the video, but that was all him sound. I did not add anything to the video.
Starting point is 00:13:10 This is it on loop. Okay, let me just play. I don't understand that. That doesn't make sense to me. It's so crazy. So let's put it all together. When's that bitch get back from Guatemala? No, it's...
Starting point is 00:13:30 I mean, that is so... I said that to my dad and he came, I think. That's fucking wild. I mean, I'm so excited about the potential. No, that's insane. That's like an Arcade Fire song. It's fucking wild no i want to like i want to make a song out of it it's so good and i don't understand it what was the other sound
Starting point is 00:13:51 coming from though honestly like he was hitting something else maybe clatter in the room or like i don't know i mean maybe i'm the genius because i heard it but i like who knows what you know we're not ready to say point you are a genius because you hear and see things that most people don't like we were walking to starbucks and nikki stops and looks at these two pipes and she's like doesn't that look like they're having a relationship and she's comforting the other pipe i have to show you i'll put it on the instagram but you do see things on the street at times that like i don't even know that you're paying attention and okay look at this i wonder if you guys can see it but it looks like one of the pipes is sad and the other one is like it's okay man let me just show you hold on let me do it's kind of hard to see so so there's this pipe right here is yeah oh okay this one is
Starting point is 00:14:36 comforting yeah okay so their arms are those are the arms and it looks like another one and that's his head looking down like i'm so sad it's like it's like, it's okay. It's kissing its head. Yeah, I could see that. That is, I was jealous of their relationship. I was like, God, they have such a steady. It's funny, I just watched a video of Luke Combs. He's a country singer and he got inducted into the Grand Ole Opry. And he did exactly that.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Like that hug was like literally, I don't know. Oh, really? That's a little too detailed. You gotta send me an image of that. It would be fun to do a side by side.'s exactly that i will i will so i gotta send you aaron carter getting beat up by nick carter and luke combs getting a lot to look at a lot of stuff for the besties to investigate too um i can't get it out of my head yeah Yeah. I don't know how he did it. It doesn't make sense to me.
Starting point is 00:15:26 It's fucking wild. Last night on the show, we had, it was Anya, me, and then this comedian named Julia Ladkowitz, who my friend,
Starting point is 00:15:34 comedian, Nora Hadidi, recommended. And she was like, my friend Julia would like to open for you. And I was like, oh,
Starting point is 00:15:41 sure, have her come. I didn't really know her from anyone, but she ends up being so cool and so fun and she looks like us like it was just another blonde white girl and i said when i after the show you know after i walk out on stage i was like i just love to give women of color opportunities i was like women of different blondes yeah blonde hair color i just like did you really say that on stage?
Starting point is 00:16:05 Yeah, golden blonde. They liked it, but I know I could get canceled for that. Obviously, I was joking, and I didn't know what color hair this girl had when Noor Hadidi, who is someone that gave an opportunity, who is a woman of color, she said that she actually told Julia, because they're friends, Noor was like, the only white girls I like are you and Taylor Swift. She said, that's Julia.
Starting point is 00:16:27 And I was like, what about me? But I'm sure Nora would throw me in there too. So that was fun. The show was so fun last night. I slept really well. What else is there to cover? Oh, what's going on in Huntsville? Tell us about, did you golf down there?
Starting point is 00:16:41 Did you get anything done in that respect, Andrew? No, so i opened for uh heather mcmahon uh she's like running like she's trying to run a new hour before she starts doing theater stuff i've never been to alabama i think i've been to alabama one other have you ever been to alabama it's i mean it's the south it's like it is i've been in birmingham a few times. Oh, yeah. I've done Birmingham. Yeah, I know Alabama. Okay, yes. I have been. I mean, it's...
Starting point is 00:17:09 I don't know. So it was fun. It was a really good time. I mean, her audiences are even more women than most women audiences. And then the guys, a lot of roll tide. And then during the day, we go. They're foodies. So we'll go get some they're foodies so we'll go get some like really good like southern i ate like who is they uh so heather has another guy
Starting point is 00:17:31 named chris who goes on the road with her as the manager oh yeah i met him i like him yeah he was great he was fun and uh we went and ate at this place and i got like sausage gravy biscuit like real southern and then you just feel feel, it ruined the whole day. Like I can't, my Jewish stomach, I can't be as strong Southern. Oh, it hurt your stomach, not your conscience? Like it would ruin my day because I'd be like, I just ate like crap and I feel like, oh God, why did I do that? But it just, it physically made you feel sick.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Physically. Physically. I just, my body is made to fucking only eat like three things. And I just, I shut down. I ended up in bed watching football all day. And that's all you do on the road. Like, I wish I did something. Or in Alabama.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Yeah, you don't do much on the road. We didn't, yesterday we got into town. We drove around and looked at homes. That was kind of fun. It was funny, like the houses here, they put the date of when they were built. Oh, yeah. By, you know, their slaves here.
Starting point is 00:18:29 You know, it's pretty cool. It's like, it's just a year and then the name of the family. And it's like 1846. And then next door is like 1853. Like it feels like a competition is going on that no one wins. You know? Who has the older house or? Yeah, who has the oldest house or yeah who has the oldest
Starting point is 00:18:45 civil war when things were good this house was built it's just like a fucking rock it's like 4 a.d you know like just like like if i just wanted to see one house that was like 2021 it is funny that no one ever establishes things anymore like when you see a business that's like has established 1999 you're like what why would you even yeah stop it but but the thing is you got to do those signs because someday it will i mean the world i don't think is going to last long enough for those things to actually matter like now just but like even um whenever i go to concerts i go i don't want to buy a shirt because it's like i don't want like a new concert shirt but i bought a taylor swift shirt in 2012 at our concert and it is you can't find it for like less than 300 online now because it's like such a cool shirt and it has all the dates on
Starting point is 00:19:34 the back and it's vintage so you got to think about concert shirts those actually do have value within 15 years like my friend scott who sells all these vintage shirts he's like britney spears shirts justin timberlake shirts, Backstreet Boys, those things go for hundreds of dollars now. So if you go to a concert, don't think you're too good. Well, a t-shirt gets better over time because it gets more vintage. It gets more broken down. A house, you would think you're paying more for essentially a shitty house. Like the plumbing, I'm sure, isn't that good.
Starting point is 00:20:02 The air conditioning is not that good. There's more ghosts. The wood floors are cre creaking there's probably like a dead maid in there somewhere and you're like man this was built in 1484 i love it's like no like buy a house that has fucking heat you know what i mean like yeah it's just it's just funny um because i don't know i feel like in charleston it was like that too like just like this is the history and you can't add an infinity pool or we'll fucking shoot you like you can't you can't change things up you got to keep it the same right to keep it historic i don't know how anyone does anything on the road like during the day i know that a lot of comics like go to museums and go
Starting point is 00:20:40 out and like take pictures of the town and i I'm just like, I'm fucking exhausted by this work. There's no time either. Like Hala told us to go to some place called Junkies for vintage clothing in Reno. And I was thinking, well, you ain't never gonna get to Junkies. People always write to me like, this vegan restaurant.
Starting point is 00:20:58 But we get to order from restaurants. So that is good to give us restaurant orders, which we had the best food this weekend. Fuck. Shout out to, if you're ever in Santa Rosa, what did we have the oh my god something plum the cozy plum the cozy plum oh my god my friend calls her vagina it was so delicious so good and then last night the vegetarian house or whatever that was in san jose i was like i was my soup was nearly a senegalese soup it had a thickness and a peanutiness to it that was in san jose i was like i was my soup was nearly a senegalese soup it had a
Starting point is 00:21:25 thickness and a peanutiness to it that was so good it was steve and the cozy plum that night shout out to steve we haven't forgotten about you we had the best waitress last night this woman named mary who looked like she just like she was walking so slow and she was so like like the smallest person like i've ever seen like she wasn't that small short why just small and southern with like glasses that were thicker than like like like like five people like old women because usually they're no people are just like yeah that's not much in them but you guys started she like started pouring like the water and she couldn't even like pick the water up and like we were just like at first we were like she was taking so slow and uh but then i found that she was 48 we found out later
Starting point is 00:22:10 she was 48 but really it's that's not the joke it's not the joke but like she was just so weak and everything was taking so slow and we're like okay come on can we just have like a waiter that can like like can like move like everything's slow here like it you're like he won't frad grain to my it's like spit it out i know i'm hungry i was listening everything slow i was thinking about oh yeah i was just thinking about like if an intruder came into the house and they called the cops and they'd be stabbed by like the second sentence you know what i mean like saunters yeah the sheriff will just get out of his car just one boot comes down and then the other boot and then it goes to a wide shot and he he arches his back goes oh let's check this out it's like what just move get in the house yeah okay we gotta go to break we'll be back with more after this including reddit dump hey guys i'm laying in bed. So if I sound differently, it's because I've got Invisalign in and I'm horizontal.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Emphasis on whore. I'm on tour, actually. Do you know that? I've told you about it before. It's the best tour I've been on ever in all of my touring days. And a big part of that is getting to meet besties and feeling your presence in the crowd. It means something to me when you buy a ticket. I'm so grateful.
Starting point is 00:23:30 If you can swing it, I would love to see you there. This weekend, I'm in Thousand Oaks, California, which is outside of LA. I'm in Valley Center, California, which is outside of San Diego. Next week, I'll be in Burlington, Vermont, in Providence, Rhode Island. Then there's Memphis, Tennessee, Tulsa, Oklahoma,
Starting point is 00:23:46 Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Atlantic City, St. Louis, and many, many more dates in New York City in January at the Beacon. So check out dates. I'm coming to all different weird parts and going through the spring, and I'll keep adding more, so stay tuned at NikkiGlaser.com. And as always, if you buy a ticket to go alone because you can't find a friend, I will reward you with a free meet and greet, which you can also purchase the merch or with a VIP ticket purchase. But if you buy a ticket to go alone, I'll incentivize it for you being brave to go alone by giving you a free meet
Starting point is 00:24:21 and greet. You just write me going alone in all caps, your name and the city you're seeing me in. Nothing else. I know you're thankful. You don't have to write thank you because it pushes it down and I won't see it. After I confirm it and heart it, then you can write thank you. But yes, going alone, your name and the city you're seeing me in.
Starting point is 00:24:36 And I'll see you out there on the Good Girl Tour. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager, responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand
Starting point is 00:25:27 what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network,
Starting point is 00:26:05 available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of
Starting point is 00:26:17 Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022
Starting point is 00:26:30 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride, full of big personalities, remarkable athleticism, fierce competition, and a generation of women hellbent on shanking that glass ceiling.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Some people won't give you the real talk on drugs, but it's time we know the facts.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Fentanyl is often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills. You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills. You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap. And the dealer might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened.
Starting point is 00:27:59 And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. With guests like Corinne Stephens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem.
Starting point is 00:28:12 My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was doing. She was like, oh dad, all they was doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And Slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money.
Starting point is 00:28:27 I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money. I'm like, oh my god, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Alright, we're back. Let's just get right into, let's do news. Can we do some news, Noah? Mm-hmm. You heard it here first. You heard it here first. Yeah, you heard it here first. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:28:55 It's Tuesday, folks. You know what that means? It is Tuesday, but it's actually really Monday. But is it? Who knows, actually. No one knows. Well, I'm in Huntsville. I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:29:03 How about us the spells? Thanks, Andrew. Guess what? New research provides evidence that the pandemic changed our personalities. Researchers found that people were less extroverted, less open, less agreeable,
Starting point is 00:29:20 and less conscientious in 2021 and 2022 compared with before the pandemic not a big shocker here but like it is significant i think i was thinking about the pandemic last night like are people like my my niece and nephew like my nephew i wonder if i was like what's covid what if he would know he's four like what and and know, COVID is not going to be on the tip of everyone's tongue in like two years, hopefully. Right.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Like even if we just, you know, the way things are now, they keep going. It'll be a thing that we talk about and we'll all know about, but kids won't really know about it as much. And I'm wondering, will they,
Starting point is 00:30:01 will, will it be a reference? You think like if, if he, Arlo becomes a comedian in his 20s will he do covet references like do you know what i mean like will it be a thing that everyone remembers and talks about is it is it is as significant as 9-11 no i think it's a different thing than like polio because polio was the vaccine actually no one gets polio people still
Starting point is 00:30:24 get covet like people are still gonna get covet 10 years from now it'll feel a little different people will still talk about it but they'll talk about it like the flu like the flu used to kill people people still getting polio now did you yeah they still yeah it's bad polio it's so retro it's so retro it's like an old taylor swift t-shirt vintage polio yeah so i think people will talk about but not like nowhere near like how it was the last couple years you know what i mean but it did change people i mean it it's it was people talk about trauma it was just traumatic i mean i was even talking to the girl um who opened for me she moved back with her parents and she's married she moved back to toronto from la she was having a lot of success
Starting point is 00:31:11 in la and just abandoned ship and moved with her parents for 10 months just like me lived with her parents um people went through trauma they're still recovering from the financial loss and like and then we remember we switched to like i know this is we've all been over this but i think we haven't talked about in a while everyone freaked the we just all of a sudden i didn't know we didn't know what it was gonna be we didn't know how long we were gonna be shut down everyone really i thought everyone underestimated it me as a pessimist i overestimated it i was like this is gonna be seven years of living inside like i was ready you said stand-up comedy's dead it's over i really and it was for a while even though and even when
Starting point is 00:31:49 people start doing it outside it was still dead in my opinion it should have been kept dead but um it is amazing that everything has come back it was traumatic people are still have that your brain changed during that time and imagine being alone so many people did covet alone and that show alone if it's proven anything to us is that people can't handle being alone you think you can but because people all the time go i could be on alone i love solitude it's not we're not meant to be alone we were we came up in tribes you need to like other people for emotional support like even if you think you're alone i mean some people actually are totally alone and i'm so sorry there's people
Starting point is 00:32:30 to talk to there's better help there's um hotlines it showed how fragile we are like as a group in your area yes like i've never really realized like oh this is gonna affect everyone you know what i mean like everyone that's what I liked about it because when stand-up was taken away, everyone wasn't doing stand-up. Is there anything in your personality specifically that you think changed? And I'm talking like a negative effect
Starting point is 00:32:57 because this article talks about how the changes in the things that I listed negatively impacted our well-being because when you have high levels of agreeableness or extroversion-ness, your well-being is better. Is there anything in your personalities that you think was impacted negatively?
Starting point is 00:33:19 I think my depression took up a couple notches. I suffer with it more after it like it got to such lows that i think it like exacerbated it and then it got to a point where it's like oh we know we can get this low so how low can you go now i'm playing limbo all the time and i'm not going as low but like it's just it got me like anything like if you are running a lot and then all of a sudden you can run 20 miles. Cause you've been running for, you've like,
Starting point is 00:33:48 I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. Like if I ran a marathon during COVID, I would probably be doing five, six miles. And that would be an easy run for me now. And I feel like now I get into six mile depressions when I used to get into three mile ones because my stamina is more.
Starting point is 00:34:03 If that makes sense. Anyone else? i feel like it was interesting because i think crowds came back they were so happy to just fucking crowds to be together to feel like you can actually go see an event yeah they got a little too happy in seoul korea if you hear what i was saying oh yeah i don't know what you're saying that's what that was a thing of the pandemic they said because soul didn't have halloween for two years and that was a huge deal everyone was like let's all fucking go and that was that so as much as that was a joke it wasn't like that really happens but yeah so crowds so i feel like
Starting point is 00:34:35 when at first like the crowds got amped and i we were remember we started doing shows i would i was so amped to be around people and then i was like the farther i got from that i go kind of miss covet like i kind of miss like not being around people. And then I was like, the farther I got from that, I go, kind of miss COVID. Like, I kind of miss, like, not being around people. You know what I mean? Like, after that first, like, wave of, like, yeah, we're all together. We're all doing shit together. Then I was like, I kind of like not having anything really have to do.
Starting point is 00:34:58 You don't have to do anything. Oh, it was awesome to not have to do anything at night and to just. Yeah, that's been the hardest thing to shake is you know i'm a creature of habit i like my routine but i notice you know i moved to a new city during covid i moved upstate and now i don't have any friends up there i just have matt i haven't branched out to go to shows and steve i don't like discover new things about the town because i still have this mentality of like no just hunker down and stay in and just do the basic routine that you have. I'm not as adventurous, I think.
Starting point is 00:35:32 A little bit more paranoid, a little bit more anxious. I even feel like people have more social, I know people have more social anxiety now than they ever did because it's new. We were locked down for so long. It's just gives you... People, I was starting... I was panicking when the world was opening up because I'm like, I don't want to go socialize again. This sucks.
Starting point is 00:35:51 And if I was feeling that way, I can't even imagine people with normal social anxiety were feeling. I really feel for all the people at critical times of their lives. I know someone that was just on the verge of their fertility is in question someone that was like just on the verge of you know their fertility is in question they need to find a partner or get married like within the next three
Starting point is 00:36:09 years otherwise forget having your own kid and it's like nope shut down for three years fuck that or children that are like at that crucial time of making friends and college kids junior high or high school yeah like you met those i feel for them and of course old people i mean how did what about me i was like just like i don't know going on tour no i'm just kidding it was like the best time ever for me for the world to show that it was perfectly timed for me my e-show that i didn't want to do got canceled and i was like oh no i prayed for it something to happen it's so weird. And I don't, I'm not one of these people that thinks I have any influence on the earth by my prayers. But I remember praying for some intervention to take me out of doing that e-show that I was imminent.
Starting point is 00:36:57 I wanted to do the show. I'm grateful to everyone that worked on it, including Andrew, but I just didn't have time because I was on tour and I was working during the day and doing the radio show. I had no time to give this TV show. And so it was going on air in April, 10 episodes. I had no idea what it was.
Starting point is 00:37:11 I didn't like what it was. I didn't have enough. I didn't know how to fix it. Even though I had amazing writers writing on it, Bonnie McFarlane, Ari Findling, Andrew Collin,
Starting point is 00:37:20 JP McDade. This is your apology list. It was awesome. The show was, could have been so good, but I just could not, I just was so scared of it. I, and I remember like crying in my shower being like, there's there, Nikki, don't even try to bargain with God right now. There's nothing that could happen that the show isn't going to happen. Like shows don't get taken away, barring you getting very hurt, which you know you're not going to do to yourself. You're not going to get hit by a car.
Starting point is 00:37:47 You're not going to get hit by lightning. And then COVID happens and it's the first show they go, Nikki, I'm so sorry. We can't do this. And I was sorry to the guy that I had to lie to and be like, I'm so sad.
Starting point is 00:38:02 But I was jumping on the like, I'm so sad. Like, but I was jumping on down. I was so fucking happy because I just wanted the show to be great. And it wasn't great yet. And it was because of me. I wasn't able to give it enough, but man, that was the, it was,
Starting point is 00:38:16 it was the worst time for them. And for me, it was, and I was about to have a mental, like the reason I couldn't give it anything is because i was overworked i was about to literally commit myself to an institution because of just what exhaustion um just mental and um physical exhaustion i was about to do like one of those lindsey lohan's of like oh i'm you know uh dehydration but it's really just you're just going into psychosis and um and then the planet gave it
Starting point is 00:38:46 to me um and so i it was just i just got lucky man i don't think that i had anything to do with um but but those prayers worked but no way you got to change your life too in such a good way i mean you moved to arizona you never would have done that right without hell no no i feel like i had i had some positive changes that i would have not have gone outside my comfort zone to do but just like it's good to hear you all say how covid um negatively impacted you like leaning into your anti like anti-social habits because i was like my whole life i struggled with that and i got to a point where i was like putting myself out there i was going to places i would go to places alone if i didn't have anyone to go with
Starting point is 00:39:28 and then covid it just like that like like evil little anti-social thing just was like oh you don't have to talk to anybody you get to just stay at home and it's been really hard breaking out of it yeah it's been it's been really really hard but you're good about getting yourself out there and making friends you've made many friends in arizona i've been so impressed you've made more friends in arizona than i have in my entire life like you met friends in parking lots there you go to jujitsu you're volunteering at a um a garden that grows food for people who are food insecure. You are getting out there. You're forcing yourself to do
Starting point is 00:40:08 social things. It's a conscious effort. The work that I have to do in my brain to put myself out there and the anxiety that I feel, it always turns out to be just fine and I have a great time and a great story to take away from it.
Starting point is 00:40:24 Just the gymnastics that I have to do in my mind to just get there just fine and i have a great time and a great story to you know take away from it but just the the gymnastics that i have to do in my mind to just get there is a lot interesting that most of our lives are dreading things that when we actually get to them end up not being even 10 as bad as we thought like i really don't know of any event i've gone to that has been as 10 even 10 as bad as i thought it was going to be with the amount of dread i gave it so why do we keep continuing to think things are going to be terrible because i dread i literally dread everything in my life besides going to pick up my starbucks and that is no offense to anyone you know even meet and greets i'm kind of like just get this done and then i get to eat dinner and they are a fucking joy i have so much fun i'm like i feel uplifted sometimes i feel like i had a
Starting point is 00:41:10 rough set like at reno not reno yeah reno was like just this big i mean it was three thousand seats and thank you to people are fucking coming out to shows and i'm so grateful for the crowds like by the way the shows are so fucking good if you guys have not been to a nikki glazer show yet this is the best i've ever seen her shows are so fun thank you it's um it's but the first night in merino was just like i could the the sound kind of got lost and all of us felt that way we were kind of like did they like it and but matt was out in the audience he was like no i assure you they were having fun but i was feeling so stinky afterwards was like, I didn't give them a good show. I felt off.
Starting point is 00:41:46 I didn't even know if they liked it. I went too long. They were probably bored. They hated going here. And then I went to the meet and greet and everyone was so fucking nice and made me feel so much better. And I'm like, ah,
Starting point is 00:41:56 I can't believe I felt that way. And so all these things that I dread, uh, and I always dread going on stage. And as soon as I grabbed the mic, I am having the best time of my life. I've never once been on stage being like, I can't wait to get off stage, ever, ever, ever. But I dread going to the gym.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Every time I work out, I feel good. I dread talking to my parents. Every time I do, I have a good time. I dread, the only thing I don't dread, and this is ironic, because most people do, air travel. I love being on a plane. I love being on a plane i love sleeping on a plane i love the sound of planes i love being able to again that is the most anti-social place for me ever you don't have to talk to anyone on a plane if you are skilled like me you don't have to talk to anyone um and i love i love flights and that's the only place besides caving where people will go oh that's that's why you
Starting point is 00:42:46 couldn't write back to that email caving space planes and surgery those are the only four places you can escape even sleep you don't get away with that anymore you but you could have woken up and written back to my email but a plane people go you go oh the wi-fi was you just go the wi-fi and you don't have to lie people just go oh it oh, it was, oh, and you go, yeah. But, you know, you don't have to lie. That is Yeah, I do that same shit. I always have a build-up in my head that everything's
Starting point is 00:43:14 going to be bad. I dread. Everything's going to be bad. Even for good stuff. And it's never bad. Never bad. It's never even close. I don't dread watching TV with my boyfriend or watching, I look forward to watching TV. I look forward to meals. I look forward to watching tv i look forward to meals i look forward to starbucks i look forward to i look forward to this podcast most of the time i honestly do it's never it's not something i dread i'll tell you that it's not it's neutral
Starting point is 00:43:36 altercation on stage where this these i was trying to do my jokes and these women on the right order like a a dessert to share. And you could hear them. And they were all like, do you want the ice cream? Do you want the spoon? Do you want... Like, what do you...
Starting point is 00:43:53 Oh, here, you take this spoon. Oh my God, look, the ice cream's already melting. And I'm like... And they're like... It's part of the stage where they're in your ear because they're not in front of you either.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Yeah, there's like a mic on them. And no one knows. That you can hear them so well. That that's the shittiest part when you're at a comedy club the comedians can hear what's going on on the stage and sometimes i've done this so many times where you react so violently or like oh my god over the top what happened because it's been in your ear and then the rest of the audience thinks you're fucking crazy yes that's what happens so i go oh is the ice cream i go oh is the ice cream is the ice cream more important than than me working on my act for 12 years is that is that important that ice cream i would say yeah yeah yeah for sure if you say it like that
Starting point is 00:44:37 yeah what is your act who cares and then i go then i go i go and like i was being fun with it though i was just like yeah I wasn't being that bad. I really wasn't, even though they were just like. And they go 12 years, really? Oh, okay. So I say, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Seems like it just started.
Starting point is 00:44:54 They go, what about three? Your career is melting more than this ice cream. I'm like, thanks. I appreciate that. So what happened? Is it Alamo or is it Lamode? I don't know that's what i'm gonna need so this girl i say one more thing about the ice cream like after a joke
Starting point is 00:45:12 like just called back to it a little bit and she just goes get over it i'm pregnant get like yelled get over it i'm pregnant i'm trying to think what i would have responded i would have i go and a bitch that's what i said but i said it like such like i didn't say it like you were pissed yeah just because the condescending in her tone people don't condensation in her tone from my mouth yeah you had condensation to every word dude she had beer goggles on it's actually just me spinning on her glasses from my mouth and beer goggles are a metaphor oh really i thought you actually not down in the south so oh wait but i said bitch in a way that was like so aggressive had so much history behind it. And then I go,
Starting point is 00:46:05 I go, yeah, they're like, this is about your mom. Fucking Robin. She's like, who's Robin? And so I was like,
Starting point is 00:46:11 I go, and then I go, hey, you know what? I didn't need to get that aggressive. And then, but that's not good either for comedy. I'm just having an inner monologue. That's coming out our log.
Starting point is 00:46:23 My mouth. What number, what, how many more minutes did you have on stage here's the thing i then i fucking crushed after that i think like it made me in a way like i apologize and then i just you gain control of them yeah it made me it made me push harder but like i didn't i lost i did lose it a little bit but there's something about like get over it i'm pregnant like like just
Starting point is 00:46:46 because you're pregnant you could be a horrible part like I know just because someone fucked you and came inside you and you were fertile enough to carry it like you get to disturb it I'll give you my seat on the subway but you don't get to be yeah it's same with like someone in a wheelchair or someone that
Starting point is 00:47:02 has a disease or has cancer, you can still be a bitch and have cancer. You can still be a bitch in a wheelchair. We all know this, but there's something about it
Starting point is 00:47:11 where we have to, oh, old people are all sweet. It's like, no, they're not. They're not all sweet. Oh, that guy with a limp, he must be just a gentle soul. It's like, I think that's rude
Starting point is 00:47:22 to assume that everyone, and especially mothers. It's condescending. We all know mothers are cunts. It's cond, I think that's rude to assume that everyone that, and especially mothers, it's condescending. We all know mothers are cunts. We have mothers. Like there's nothing about, it is condensation.
Starting point is 00:47:32 It's, it's so condensation. I'm in here. Sorry. And also stop bragging. You're pregnant. Yeah. We get it. It felt very like,
Starting point is 00:47:41 you know, whatever it was. Oh my God. They're knocking like crazy. Yeah. I don't need anything. Tell her she's a bitch. Come on, Andrew. What are you, pregnant
Starting point is 00:47:53 out there? Alright, we're gonna go to break and come back with more. Andrew's gonna handle this and we'll continue the show after this. Handle maids. Hand maids. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.
Starting point is 00:48:11 From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses.
Starting point is 00:49:14 But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crumbs as part of the Michael Dura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Tomer Cohen, LinkedIn's Chief Product Officer. If you're just as curious as I am about the way things are built, the insights behind what it takes to create a world-renowned product,
Starting point is 00:49:50 then tune in to my podcast, Building One. There's so much to learn, like how Patagonia innovates with its supply chain. We had to go out to farmers and convince them it was really damn hard. Or the way Adobe thinks about the first interaction somebody has with Photoshop. Ever wanted to know how Nike builds emotion into the Jordan brand? You have to be obsessed with the current state of the human condition. And it doesn't stop there. What about how Gleam reinvented knowledge search with AI?
Starting point is 00:50:23 You can learn about how a Michelin star chef is redesigning seeds for flavor and how Pixar is nurturing a creative culture. Listen to Building One on the iHeartRadio app, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network
Starting point is 00:50:49 every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened.
Starting point is 00:51:03 And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was doing. She was like, oh dad, all they was doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school.
Starting point is 00:51:18 And slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money. Like I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money. I'm like, oh, my God, it's go time. You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you go to find your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:51:39 I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour like LPGA superstar Angel Yen. I really just sat myself down at the end of 2022 and I was like, look, either we make it or we quit. Expert tips to help improve your swing and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. The drinks were flowing, twerking all over the place, vaping, they're shotgunning. Women's golf is a wild ride, full of big personalities,
Starting point is 00:52:14 remarkable athleticism, fierce competition, and a generation of women hell-bent on shanking that glass ceiling. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeartWomen sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeartWomen Sports. All right, we're back. Let's do Reddit Dump. This is your, this is your this is your reddit i got the key right i love that laugh it's my favorite part okay so i was on reddit last night i was so excited that this one came up because it is like so my style of a question it's on ask reddit which is where they just ask cool questions and then people answer.
Starting point is 00:53:06 It says, what is the most dangerous thing people don't realize is all that dangerous? And this is my favorite thing to talk about, is things that are dangerous and people are just doing them, and I'm like, how? Everyone needs to know. We talked about crowd crushes, how to not have that happen to you. If you want to revisit that episode, it was on Thursday's
Starting point is 00:53:22 episode, last Thursday. If you ever find yourself in a crowd, walk with your hands up like you're boxing someone and stand uh staggered with one foot in front of the other so that you aren't just like you know standing with your feet together and then if you get pushed to the ground um you don't have to go back and listen because i'm telling you if you get pushed to the ground do not stay on your stomach or on your back get in a fetal position to the side and crouch and that will keep your organs protected so that is going to save some lives okay but this was interesting to me my first word as a child was dangerous i would point out things that were dangerous i'm obsessed with people wearing seat belts i'm obsessed with people wearing helmets i am a
Starting point is 00:53:56 total advocate for um caleb sign in my opener this weekend he was talking about scooters and how he won't go on those like bird scooters he's like no i'm not gonna do it and i was like do it he's like did you wear a helmet and i'm like i you don't even understand who you're talking to i am so scared of dangerous things and those scooters are not dangerous as they seem i mean they definitely are they but just if you're a smart person and not being drunk on one and following the rules you don't you'll be okay and i was like please do one i just trust me i'm such an advocate for safety and it's so fun this one blew my mind the top answer okay so what is the most dangerous thing people don't realize is all that dangerous and people need to know this
Starting point is 00:54:34 so listen up everyone especially people with kids all the pregnant bitches out there the pin setters in a bowling alley they are all well over a thousand pounds of mechanized death by steel and moving belts. Some of the scariest moments of my life have been running the six feet between me and the emergency shut off behind the front desk as a toddler runs, slipping and sliding down the lane while their parents or guardians
Starting point is 00:54:59 are laughing by the table because they thought it was cute. Even experienced pin setter mechanics have been crushed to death during scheduled maintenance pin setters are machines of convenience entertainment and death so that freaked me out i'm telling my sister if she ever brings her kids to the bowling alley like like just like a you could see a toddler just like being like running towards the ball and everyone going that's so funny and just're toddler magnets. Yes, they are. When I was a toddler, that's my number one place I wanted to run to.
Starting point is 00:55:28 Yes. Drunk people, too, will run and slide into pins like fucking idiots. Well, they can do that. You know what? You're an idiot. Adults, but we need to protect children. No, don't put your hand in one.
Starting point is 00:55:39 The Cake Boss. Apparently, I was reading the Cake Boss, Buddy Valastro nearly destroyed one of his hands, punctured by the pin setter in his own home bowling alley. So be careful, folks. This one was good. I feel like we all know this, but it's worth repeating. Passengers should never rest their
Starting point is 00:55:56 feet on the dash of a car because when the airbag does its thing, it has only one way to go. Several terrible things can happen at this point. Your knees get pushed into your face or your hips are dislocated. It god it looks so cool though damn it this was an interesting one a more psychological one uh what were you saying noah i have a story for you please this weekend we went up to a place called mount lemon two-way road windy road going all the way up to the top of a mountain people going our way home there was a car that was driving the speed limit
Starting point is 00:56:27 and a couple of cars behind it. One guy said, I need to pass this driver driving the speed limit. Went around a curve. We passed the curve. All of a sudden, we see his truck on the side of the road. He apparently flipped upside down. His truck landed in a ditch by the side of the road. He apparently flipped upside down. His truck landed in a ditch by the side of the road on a mountain.
Starting point is 00:56:50 So it's a good thing it didn't go to the other side where it was like down the mountain. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. And he got so lucky. We had no reception at that point of the mountain. Oh my God. Did you get out and help him?
Starting point is 00:57:02 But you got out and helped him. Of course. Because we were with Avi. Search and rescue EMT This is Avi's dream This is the best person to ever be Behind a guy that flipped his car And we had his truck
Starting point is 00:57:14 So he had all his stuff with him Also the guy Who was driving the speed limit Is a veteran So he has like experience also And then a few minutes later A doctor was driving up the mountain so uh the guy was alive he was kind of like in and out um he didn't appear that he had any like
Starting point is 00:57:33 lacerations or bleeding but like he flipped upside down it's great people are insane to drive did you see the accident happen i saw him cutting the cars off but because it went around a bend i didn't see his vehicle flip over when guys drive in big trucks they think they're invincible they really do that's another thing like you're driving a big truck you could die too like that's a thing that is dangerous it was for me like as an outsider like not knowing this guy i'm like wow i'm like seeing someone have a life-changing moment because he was like near death. He could have died. I would hope. And he hopefully, yeah,
Starting point is 00:58:09 learns from that. Yeah. God, that's so scary coming upon a wreck. I just, I can't. Did it turn you on to an RV? I'm so scared that I'm going to see. Oh yeah, did,
Starting point is 00:58:19 was he like in his fucking, you've never seen him in that mode, right? Rescue mode. It's like Baywatch. It was probably slow motion, like hot. Oh yeah, was it? Did he take off his shirt? Yes. Did seen him in that mode, right? Rescue mode. It's like Baywatch. It was probably slow motion, like hot. Oh yeah, was it? Did he take off his shirt?
Starting point is 00:58:27 Yes. Did he have a flotation device? Did he make a tourniquet out of his pants? Oh my God. Yeah, what did he do? So hot. Did he do anything hot?
Starting point is 00:58:35 Was he doing like? Well, the door was jammed so he couldn't, because he has to take the guy's pulse, you know, you have to stabilize him and stuff.
Starting point is 00:58:42 So he had to like break the window on the passenger side. So all of a sudden you're like. He did that? Yep. With his elbow? With his head? you have to stabilize him and stuff. So he had to break the window on the passenger side. So all of a sudden you're like, yep, with his elbow. With his head? He had a knife. So he used the back of the knife.
Starting point is 00:58:55 What the fuck? Oh my God, cool. What a man. Were you just masturbating by a tree? What were you, sitting in the shade, watching all this? And then the funny part is, so there's cars passing by right and it's already dark so this one guy drives he's he's got like this red sports
Starting point is 00:59:12 car with like a green light underneath and i'm trying to like scream to people like can you please call the cops when you get reception there's a man in there we just had an accident so these two guys um are driving up the mountain All of a sudden, the car just like speeds off, disappears for like 10 minutes. Then they come. I see the car coming back. And I'm like, did you call the cops? Did you call anyone? And these guys come out.
Starting point is 00:59:35 It looks like Cheech and Chong. And they're just like, yeah, we went up there. We got service. I drove like 60 miles per hour. And I'm like, that's not, don't tell me that. But thank you for calling them. It was just like a turn into like a little. How long were you there?
Starting point is 00:59:49 We were there, I think for maybe like. I'm thinking about, I would be like, oh, this is taking a long time. I know. I was like, if my boyfriend was like rescuing everyone, I'd be like, God damn it. We're not gonna. I had my friend in tow.
Starting point is 00:59:58 I love his blind episodes. We were supposed to go to Potwell to get some food, but we were there for like an hour, like delayed us by an hour. I'd be like, the Starbucks is closing, and I just put in my model order. It's just going to be cold by the time I get there. I'm such a bitch.
Starting point is 01:00:13 I seriously would be thinking that. I'd be like, remember when we broke down on the side of the road? Yeah, you were gone before the car even stopped. Wait, what? What happened? Nikki, go save yourselves, you fucking bitches. I'm out.
Starting point is 01:00:24 We were driving back, me, Ari, and Andrew fucking bitches i'm out we were driving back me ari and andrew and claire parker were driving back from a gig somewhere in new jersey and we were on the highway and all of a sudden we started hearing like like the tire drums i think my nephew was on the back with a an old steel drum and we were like what the fuck and so we pull over on the side of the highway which i hate doing and i'm so scared of and i like i think we've actually pulled off on a ramp because i was like ari i will get you that's the biggest that's another dangerous thing my dad always taught me never ever pull off on the side of a highway no matter what you could just drive on your
Starting point is 01:01:05 shitty tire because you will die changing a tire people it happens to people all the time on the highway um so we pulled off and we he went to go check it and i had already called an uber for me and claire to get picked up to leave andrew and ari there to deal with it because there's nothing i can do in that situation to help. I am out of things. Why do I need to stay? Yeah, just friendship. No, but they have each other. Ari and Andrew are friends.
Starting point is 01:01:32 No, it makes sense. I don't love Ari. I want to go on the Uber, too. And they were so offended. Yeah, I was thinking Andrew was probably like, can I get in there? Well, I would have loved you, but I feel like that would have been mean to Ari. We would have had to leave someone with it. And we were the two girls, and I was like, we don't need to be unstranded on a highway with these guys trying to change a tire. They don't even know what they're doing because they're
Starting point is 01:01:48 both... Yeah, I know, but we could have used your bodies to like... for barter system. Like, help us with the tire. You could have our women. We could have used you. Right. Okay, that's true. But then it ended up being just like a piece of tape that was like a piece of tar. And then I
Starting point is 01:02:03 had to eat crow and i was like canceling the uber i had to pay the five dollar fine yeah it was just we were back in the car how long were you a fucking uber you i cannot believe he was so offended how long how long did it take from pulling over to discovering the tape well i'm not kidding you i started calling the uber before we even pulled over as soon as i heard the sound because i'm like i'm not wasting my time i can't do anything in this situation i'm not gonna know i don't know how to work a jack i don't know how to work lug nuts i'm not gonna fucking be any help here so okay uh the next reddit thing i just want to say is um the dangerous thing that you don't know is dangerous using non-ladder objects to
Starting point is 01:02:42 reach things out of reach like standing upon a thing that you made out know is dangerous. Using non-ladder objects to reach things out of reach. Oh, for sure, yeah. Like standing upon a thing that you made out of nowhere. Getting in and out of a wet shower or bathtub. I mean, so scary. Do your parents have stuff in their bathtub? Are you worried about slips and falls for them? They don't have stuff in their bathtub. I don't even think they shower.
Starting point is 01:03:00 I don't know what my parents do. Wait, what? Well, you see them today. Will you ask? I'm worried about them. Okay. Now, the next Reddit thing. Oh, this girl had a life hack.
Starting point is 01:03:12 Oh, I wanted Andrew to try this, but we don't have it on hand. But I want one of our besties to try it. Anya, I'm going to play it for you. Sorry, no, I didn't send this. It's a girl with a 12-pack of soda that isn't opened yet. And it's a life hack.
Starting point is 01:03:24 I guess I'll just play it for all of us. And I'll just describe what she's doing. So she holds a pack of soda that isn't opened yet and it's a life hack i guess i'll just play it for all of us and i'll just describe what she's doing so she holds the pack of soda it says this is from life hacks new here so sorry it's been shared before but here's my life hack and it's a girl taking a 12 pack of soda and then slamming it over her knee like a karate move and just chopping it in half and it breaks in half perfectly i'll play it again for you guys. That's so cool. Diet Coke, too. Oh, interesting. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:03:48 And it opens like that, and I want to see if that works. I wonder. I had my pack of Zevia here, but I drank all 10 in one sitting. I'm not going to do that over my knees that I'm trying to do PT for. It didn't look like it was too much pressure. It depends how quick you want the soda,
Starting point is 01:04:03 because that's going to cause fuzz, for sure. you just tap the top fizz we just put the whole 12 pack in the fridge though why does she need it broken open just to open it that's a good point there's like a little point of getting it 12 pack yeah you can there's a little door yeah okay so that's pointless no one needs it okay cool sorry it did look cool this is from explain like i'm five and i just want to hear what you guys think the answer to this is and then i have the actual answer why do human babies cry so much as opposed to chimpanzee or gorilla babies like you see gorillas and they're always just kind of like looking around i know why they're swinging on why um because there's predators out in the wild and if they cry they'll be found and then killed and eaten smart interesting that is part of it does anyone else have any theories
Starting point is 01:04:56 so they said i'm watching a documentary and notice how chill great ape babies are they're quite content just holding on to their mom and you never see them crying in the same shrill oftentimes excessive way human babies do why is it because of how we're socialized now and we're so separate and maybe we're supposed to be like wrapped around our moms constantly and we're not i would think um that's my guess no it's but uh this andrew's right uh it's it's kind of has multiple things that anthropologists think one anthropologist sarah hardy posited an evolutionary mechanism if an ape or monkey puts a baby down for a bit its best chance of survival is to stay quiet and hope mom comes back it can last for a good bit a human baby is basically fucked if mom does not come back
Starting point is 01:05:35 around very quickly oh right um so makes lots of penetrating noises to remind her and this was the other part of that human babies are born much earlier into their life cycle than chimps for various reasons i was gonna say that women our gestation period is not that long babies come out really vulnerable whereas other babies of other species animals um even hominids come out really well formed and so they don't need as much care where as we if our babies were lasted longer in us and cooked longer they would kill us on the way out we would because they'd be too big right yeah yeah so like a horse is born and within 30 seconds is walking already yes already in college yes yeah it's wild um so yeah being born super early is actually a pretty good evolutionary adaptation. So most of the growth goes into your brain when you're in, I guess it says, um, it's
Starting point is 01:06:29 a good evolutionary adaptation to a social species because it allows for less need for pre-programmed instinctive behavior and a much greater range of learned behaviors, meaning that human behavior can be highly adaptable and very plastic between generations. Humans can change pretty much everything about their behavior very rapidly because it's almost all learned behavior and not encoded at a genetic level. It's one reason homo species, no homo,
Starting point is 01:06:53 have been able to live in every climate and adjust to all sorts of different social and some word systems. I thought that was very interesting. Final thoughts. Can you imagine if you had a baby and it was already like, it comes out, it's like walking and being like, what's up, bro? It was already doing, yeah, it's ABCs. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:19 So it's good for our evolutionary survival to cry? Yes. Yes. Because we're like mama i'm here look at me yeah it would be weird if babies came out doing this dude on your clit literally arcade fire that is so wild i know it's so weird okay um and then this one was interesting let's all think of our favorite song if you can ever one of your favorite songs let's say favorite love song whether it's any kind of song about i think you just played it honestly think of your favorite song that has something to do with love whether it's negative or positive heartbreak or anything so love um this is from psychology uh the subreddit it says the lyrics
Starting point is 01:08:12 to your to your date's favorite song may provide clues to their attachment style so you can get insight into the person you're with if they're insecure if they are um avoidant or if they're insecure, if they are avoidant, or if they are secure based on their favorite song and the lyrics of the favorite song. So I want to run a little test. Anya, what is your favorite song? Supernova by Liz Phair, which is basically just a love song to a guy. Like, your eyelashes sparkle like gilded grass,
Starting point is 01:08:40 and your lips are sweet and slippery like a cherub's bare wet ass. It's like a funny, sweet love song. Is she getting rejected in it at all or is she longing it's just all she's longing but it's like fun and i have looked all over the place but you have got my favorite face your eyelashes sparkle like gilded grass and your lips are sweet and slippery like a cherub's bare wet ass because you're a super a human supernova a solar superhuman you're an angel with fire wings of fire a flying giant friction blast um yeah it's all just nice yeah that's secure yeah i'd read that as a secure attachment you're just celebrating someone that you love it doesn't
Starting point is 01:09:15 there's not a longing there's not a rejection there um i think you're describing steve again um like it really did like all i was thinking literally all i was thinking while you're reading was steve your sweater has a chevron and you're so damn hot you walk in clouds of glitter and you wear a tight medium shirt and the sun reflects in your eyes and every time the wind blows i can smell you in the sky your kisses are as wicked as an f-16 and you fuck like a volcano and you're everything to me that's a great song oh my god i love that okay noah what's your favorite song and can we look up the lyrics or is it just are they even audible you don't like lyrics though so i don't think this counts for you yeah can we skip noah's favorite love song is just like a like i
Starting point is 01:10:01 don't know an eagle being beaten to death or something i am obsessed right oh not animals the eagles the band the band the eagles being beaten to death i'm so into this song right now speaking of songs this is a tangent called good in bed by dua lipa because i always watch on instagram she has the best like reels of her just like grinding and she's always wearing these like hot costumes and i got into the song from instagram but it's called good in bed and i've just been listening to it a lot recently and she has oh she goes it's bad bad bad bad bad you're messing with my head head head head we drive each other mad mad mad mad mad but baby that's what makes us good in bed please come
Starting point is 01:10:42 take it out on me me me me me i know it's really bad bad bad but baby that's what makes us good in bed. Please come take it out on me, me, me, me, me. I know it's really bad, bad, bad, but baby, that's what makes us good in bed. And she's like, it's bad. We drive each other mad. It might be kind of sad, but I think that's what makes us good in bed. We drive each other mad. It might be kind of sad.
Starting point is 01:10:54 And she goes, yeah, we don't know how to talk, but damn, we know how to fuck. I love it so much. I think I love Dua Lipa. I think I think she's, she's got Taylor Swift vibes to me. She's just saying it real. I think she's underrated for me. and it is so good and it's all about how like boys boys boys boys boys I like toys toys toys
Starting point is 01:11:26 work work work are you guys seeing the trend in pop music my favorite Taylor Swift song right now is if we're talking about love songs it's Labyrinth
Starting point is 01:11:39 and I love that one and it's like oh oh I'm falling in love oh, I'm falling in love. Oh, oh, I'm falling in love again. Oh, I'm falling in love. I thought the plane was going down. How'd you turn it right around? And it's just about like, oh, no, I'm falling in love.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Like, this is going to be. And I think that really does, because I read that and I go, what are my favorite songs? And why don't I like these other songs that certain girls like and um that one i think i like because i do feel that way like as soon as i get what i want i start going oh no there's never gonna be another thing i like the pain of um even like that song midnight rain he wanted it comfortable. I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride. I was making my own name. Chasing that fame.
Starting point is 01:12:28 He stayed the same. All of me changed like midnight. That's another one I love. So I have definite avoidance. Mine's avoidant based on the things that I like. Wait, aren't you anxious? I'll back you up by Dave Matthews. I've changed into Avoid It
Starting point is 01:12:45 style, but I used to be anxious, but now that my boyfriend is secure and loves me, I'm more going towards Avoid It because it scares me. Being secure scares me. Andrew, you said
Starting point is 01:12:57 I'll Back You Up by Dave Matthews? Yeah, by Dave Matthews. I remember thinking I'd go on forever only knowing I'd go on forever knowing I'd go on forever only knowing. I'd go on forever knowing. I'd go on forever only knowing.
Starting point is 01:13:07 That I'd see you again. You were there. But I know the touch of you is hard to remember. Wait, wait. But like that touch, I know no other. And for sure, you're dancing, something together. Would you like to dance around the world with me? Wait, just let him go.
Starting point is 01:13:24 I'll be and i know the touch of you okay again was hard i remember thinking i'll go on forever only knowing i'll see you again but i know the touch of you is hard to remember but like that touch i've known no other and for sure we have danced in the risk of each other. Would you like to dance with me around the world with me? I'll be falling all about my own thing. And I know you're the heaviest weight. When you're not here, that's hung around my head. And your lips burn wild, thrown from the face of a child.
Starting point is 01:13:56 And in your eyes, the seeing of the greatest view. Hey, do what you will always. Walk where you like your steps. Do as you please i'll back you up it's it's it's anxious secure because it's like being ready for a relationship but actually you're getting you're you're pining for someone who's not around i'll be falling all about my own thing and i know you're the heaviest weight when you're not here that's hung around my head you like missing someone yes longing you
Starting point is 01:14:26 like longing is that correct especially when i was younger i remember being in a top bunk listening that on like repeat when i was like 12 and i just wanted a girlfriend so bad and then that's so sweet i think that's why i always say goodbye because i wanted to have sex with someone who like it would only be one night and we would long for each other the rest of our lives that was my fantasy i was like someday i want to have sex to the song and i want this song to be what i'm living when i hear this song all right we gotta go thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast we will be back tomorrow anya thank you for being here for two episodes it was so fun um yeah don't be cool out there and And Jack. Grave Digger. Jack in the Box.
Starting point is 01:15:11 John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people
Starting point is 01:15:37 the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:16:06 Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to... The hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party. Your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership
Starting point is 01:16:39 with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms.
Starting point is 01:17:16 With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network,
Starting point is 01:17:52 iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you know that 70% of people get hired at companies where they already have a connection? I'm Andrew Seaman, LinkedIn's Editor-at-Large for Jobs and Career Development. And on my podcast, Get Hired, I bring you all the information you need to, well, get hired. Landing a job may be tough, but Get Hired is here for you every step of the way
Starting point is 01:18:16 with advice on resumes, networking, negotiation, and so much more. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you like to listen.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.