The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #295 Clearly.

Episode Date: November 10, 2022

Nikki is so over "climbers" and she's tired of changes in people's behavior as she gets more famous or if they get more famous. The good thing is it makes her more competitive. After an interview, Nikki stayed on the line and heard a little too much.  She and Andrew talk about crowd work and honing in on people in the audience. Andrew had to battle for an arm rest on his last flight. You Heard It Here First, tips for sleeping better, party tricks, TikTok videos to ignore and People's Sexiest Man of the Year is ...plain. They play a new game called Finish The Taylor Swift Lyric which has them completing songs in their own words.  ------ Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: www.nikkiglaser.com/tour Andrew's Tour Dates: www.andrewcollincomedy.com   More Nikki: IG More Andrew: IG  More producer Noa: IG          See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in.

It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey you guys, I'm Catherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast.

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or wherever you get your podcast presented by elf beauty, founding partner of I heart women's sports. People, my people, what's up? This is course love, man. I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season.

Of course, love Supreme, man. We've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Schechter, Billy Porter, and so many more.

Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, hey, now's your chance. You've got to check them out. Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's Nikki Glaser Podcast. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Andrew is in St. Louis. I'm back in Los Angeles. California Noah is in Tucson. It's 10 a.m. here, or 10, 19. We started a little late.

On the West Coast, I had to do at 9, 15. I was doing a morning TV show. You know, these morning local tv shows for san diego because i'm going to be in um harrah's in valley center but it's really san diego um this saturday if you uh live near there i can't believe i've been saying valley center the whole time i'm like who told me to promote valley center when it's san diego like because not everyone who lives in san diego probably even knows everyone who lives in san diego probably knows valley center is near san diego it's like this is just these like glitches in my marketing plans um but every casino is in some city that is not the actual city it's in but i'm

in harris in san diego this weekend outside of san diego but if you have a car or you know uber will go out there so i don't know why i've been saying anyway i did that i didn't know it was in san diego until i did the morning show and i log on today and it's like you know good morning san diego and um it was a guy and a girl interviewing me and the guy was a super fan of mine from like stern and i'm guessing rose and so he was like so excited and the girl was like fine she was less than less so and it was funny because they told before in the pre-interview they're like they're gonna mention your tour and they're gonna mention welcome home nikki glazer and i'm like because i was like not feeling funny this morning i woke up i was just like had no makeup on. I looked puffy faced.

I was just like no one wants – no one's going to like this interview. I don't even know what is funny about myself. And then I was like, oh, that's funny that they're going to promote a show that's canceled. And so I instantly as soon as I got on, I was like, well, my reality show isn't coming back. So you can enjoy the first season. But thanks for bringing that. It was just automatically funny. And then our interview went really well and the guy was kind of just like gushing like you need to go back on stern they just did a you know dating show with

drew barrymore they should do one with you i and you know i'm going into it with him and it was fun and he's just like dying at everything i say it was really nice and then they say goodbye to me the nikki laser catcher this weekend at harrah's in san really nice and then they say goodbye to me the nikki laser catcher this weekend at harrah's in san diego and on saturday tickets still available here's the link and then they're like bye nikki and i wave off and then my screen goes out and then it cuts to them just solo in studio just like kind of going to commercial you know when the camera kind of like pulls out and they're still miked and he was like i just love her and she goes clearly oh snap dude that's clearly that feels like they got something going on that's amazing

screen recording it was such a good clearly like keep it in your pants john like raul was his name we'll talk about this when we get home yeah it was just like she was just like not having it but it was uh it was funny she was probably just like calm down you know or i don't know maybe there is something there but probably not they but they were both she or she might have just been like clearly you like but i read into it as clearly no it's definitely. Yeah, it was kind of a dig. But that was my morning of doing that. And I was just like.

It would have been great if you could have still got a word in. Like, if you're like, oh, yeah, clearly, thanks. Still here. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you, then. Was it clear, Shawnee? Was it clear, Claire? Clear, Claire.

Clear, Claire. No, they were both very nice and they were actually really good in our viewers because sometimes they ask too many questions or they get like offended at everything you say that's the thing with uh morning tv hosts is everything you say because they know you're filthy it you know at points in your career they're just like no and i'm like i just woke up and they're like, we know what that means. You were in a bed with a man getting banged out.

Like it's everything's innuendo. That just happened to you. You were talking about it a couple of weeks ago on like a morning LA show. In the morning? No. And you said that you weren't ever going to go back there because they were kind of rude to you

and they kept trying to like act funny oh i hope i remember that because i don't remember it's not coming to my recollection now but i hope i remember so i don't go back there um i had an experience recently with someone a celebrity where they just really dismissed me and to pay attention to another person they thought was more famous there's this thing that celebrities do i've had it happen to me a couple times and i can't wait to write a tell-all book when these people are dead to tell you who did it but um they do this thing where they are so aware of maybe another famous person talking to them who's in the room that they'll be looking at you having a conversation and i will ask a question and they will, they will have, we will have been in a back and forth at this point. I will ask another

question and then the person that is more famous will say something, not even to them, but say something. And so they quickly look over and don't even, they hear my question, look at me and don't answer and then look over at them and try to engage in them. And it is, it is the only embarrassing thing about it is that other people witness it and see you get completely um dismissed by this person move there what do you do there my friend robin witnessed it happened to me with a big celebrity once it's always because there's a more famous person next to me and i didn't the second time it happened the move is i'm going to be it's makes me want to become so successful because this girl underestimated me and thinks I'm not going to be anything that she has to worry about someday and when she comes

on my show someday to promote something I'm going to go oh actually we're not going to have her on cancel her the day before and she's already flown in and gotten and spent two thousand dollars on a stylist and practiced her little song she's going to sing can't come on anymore sorry you were you dismissed me remember me remember me that you thought i wasn't more famous than that girl who had a reality show on e a million years ago that you probably watched and thought was more important than me oh remember when you dismissed me because you i told i like mentioned during this long day that i was like taking singing lessons and i wasn't mentioning it. Like I'm a singer, but I was just like,

Oh yeah, I'm, you know, I'm just, you know, I'm not a good singer, but I'm trying. And this person's a singer and they could not have hated me more for that.

Like all of a sudden it became everything that they said was about like, I'm a singer. Me and this girl are singers and you're not a singer. Like we, everything was like, it suddenly they just became, that was their only thing that they wanted a singer like we everything it was like it suddenly they just became that was their only thing that they wanted to talk about and i was like and because they knew i was like trying it was like mean girls but i can't wait like that's the kind of

thing that makes me work hard it's because i have i love that it makes you more competitive yeah yeah i mean i i have a good trait i don't even want a late night talk show, but I want one so we can book her and then tell her she can't come on. And then she asked why. And I say, oh, let her know that 10 years ago we did this show together. And I asked her a question that I didn't even care about because I was just trying to be nice because all she seemed to care about was talking about herself. So I asked her a question about herself, because she didn't give a fuck about anyone else. And she looked through me, heard the question, and then looked the other way. And I know she heard the question, because she followed it up later after she dismissed me. It was wild. Maybe you could set her up, too, like Ashley Simpson style.

Like she's a fucking, that she's lip syncing. She's been a liar this whole time. She's a good singer. Damn it. I do know that. She's really fucking, that she's lip syncing and she's been a liar this whole time. She's a good singer. Damn it. I do know that. She's really talented actually. She actually is very talented. No doubt about it.

I wonder who it is. But I will not have that talent on my show someday. I have so many like ideas of who it is. I'm sure people at home do. I know. It's probably like something.

No one has any idea. It was a thing I did months ago and I purposely waited to talk about it so that you couldn't place it No one has any idea. It was a thing I did months ago. And I purposely waited to talk about it so that you couldn't place it. Because I've done so many things with so many. There's been so many things I've done with singers that you won't be able to place it. But someday I'll tell you when it's proven, when it comes out that she's a racist or something. Or she beats her dog.

And then I'll go, actually, I have a good story about this woman who's already canceled they were like nikki she beats her dog this story doesn't seem that bad you're like no she fucking dissed me she's like yeah she killed like nine times you can pile on about the bad stuff you know about celebrities is when they get canceled you can't before then because you risk losing everything like the other day on the podcast that i did solo i mentioned that i may have heard julia roberts wasn't the coolest person or it was kind of out of touch and that even scared me to do because i'm like she that could have if what if that gets back like that could affect everything and yesterday i was going to post a clip of gwyneth paltrow getting taken down by this tiktoker because she was talking about like nowadays you just can be famous for having no talent and this guy like

interrupt you know on tic tac where they like interrupt and he's like excuse me Gwyneth I'm sorry this you this you did nothing to get where you are you have rich parents you grow up you went to private school on the upper east side you are you have a famous mom and a famous dad you did nothing you and then i was like actually i kind of see gwen's point she's at least she like studied acting and is talented she has a talent where she's talking about these people you know who don't have talent but i honestly think that being funny on tiktok is a talent there's sometimes i run into people and i'm like this girl is so fucking funny put her i wish i casted snl I could really make a whole cast out of people,

obscure people on Tik TOK. I sometimes just go down a rabbit hole of someone. So I don't know. I'm trying to think of people who models aren't actually Kardashians aren't talented. That's the thing that, that is, I mean,

they're talented for being interesting. And, um, I guess, but, but, and that's the oldest, that's the most hacky thing you can say is the kardashians aren't talented but those are the only people that i can really point to and go

there's no they're i mean they are good models so i'll give them that and they're interesting um reality show people and that's a talent too as i know since i've been on a reality show that's been canceled so clearly i couldn't do what they did um it was also different time in tv the first season of their show no one watched it either except now if no one watches the first season of sure you show you get canceled and uh back then they would give you an opportunity because that was the way tv worked back then as they were like oh they had faith in shows and they like left them on air um it's so people would you know you can't gain an audience over one season so the first season of the kardashians bombed from what i um made up just now i don't know no i really think that didn't do well um but that is uh did you have you ever felt that way like don't you hate when

there's a friend of yours like i have one friend too who i love this person and they have meant so much to me in my life throughout my life and been so good to me and then i got a little bit famous and boy they got better to me suddenly they were like oh yeah so nice to me a lot of people yeah yeah yeah but then if someone more famous walks in the comedy cellar. I'd be done. They can't even listen. They can't hear me. It's like they are so distracted.

Like they're waiting for their fajitas to arrive. You know, like when you're hungry and you can't focus. That's what it's like when Chris Rock walks in when I'm sitting across from this person. There is something like in college because I cheated so much and I was such a disaster that people just thought I was literally a joke. You know, like they were friends with me, but they treated me like I was like a gorilla at the zoo. Like, oh, Colin's here. Let's throw shots in his mouth and see him try to suck his own dick or something like.

And I did. You were a party animal. And that was your you were like they put a coin. My whole identity was. But it was Yeager. Yeah, my whole identity was just being dumb and then dance dance yeah exactly and then you know i did this for 10 years and i finally kind of i guess whatever made it to a point where i'm at and now they're like oh yeah you were always funny you were like it does feel different of how they but

i guess they respect me more now but it's also like you couldn't see then that i like was like maybe because i didn't love myself whatever but yeah i don't blame them completely but there is like more like dms of like random people that i haven't talked to in nine years yeah and they're like dude you're coming here to this city oh we should hang out and get drinks after yeah like dude you like like hated me i think you hazed me yeah you snowed down my shirt you cyber bullied me for months in person on before aol you use prodigy um i guess it's kind of rewarding when that happens though you know no it isn't you know why because it doesn't it doesn't make me feel good

because it makes me feel like actually you know what makes me feel good is that i realized this person that i've built up in my head that didn't like me because they just didn't think i was funny or they didn't like me because they just thought i was you know my mind goes to like not cool ugly not pretty like just not funny then i realized realized, oh, they didn't like me because I wasn't famous enough. They are so, they're so shallow. And they're usually a person that I would put on a pedestal, right?

Because I want them to like me. Why don't they like me? They're funny, they're cool. They seem to like everyone else. And then at some point they start acknowledging me and they don't, oh my God, this one person on a red carpet once I'll never forget it oh this person I had so

many run-ins with where they were just dismissive of me I'm not going to even place it because I just don't ever want it to come back to the person because I'm still scared of them but I was yeah it was a maroon that's a you know for all the Swifties out there

so it was a maroon. That's for all the Swifties out there. So it was a maroon carpet. And she was with her partner. And I was by myself. I was completely out of place. You could tell that I was. I was alone. She knows me. And too cool for school. Won't even look at me and then I'm waiting do you do

the thing ever where you see someone and you know you're gonna say hi once you see each other and so you kind of just like wait for them to see you in your periphery I mean we were literally three feet apart and I knew she already saw me and it was getting to the point where I was like we're gonna have to acknowledge each other I know she doesn't like me for whatever reason come to find out it's because I'm not famous because now she's nice to me but at the time i wasn't and um and i see her see me out of the corner of her eye or i i i'm looking at her for maybe two seconds because i know she's about to turn her head and she'll see me and then she turns her head and looks at me and goes okay just staring at me hi oh my god dude i would be so angry at that oh my god and i was like oh i

wasn't i was just waiting for you know and i was trying to explain it but it was on the red carpet it was so hot out it was so freaking hot and um i i had the skirt on and i was soaking soaked and i was trying to make small talk because they were kind of talking about how hot it was and I was soaking soaked and I was trying to make small talk because they were kind of talking about how hot it was and I was like it is like a waterfall underneath this of sweat and she just goes ew and I'm just like oh cool like cannot win with this bitch totally ignores me won't be nice makes fun of me for staring at her it was just like it was and then i find and then she's nice to me once i you know get a little bit more famous and all i wanted her she's so cool all i wanted her was to like me and now she does and i'm like i liked you better when you were consistent

you know when you just were a straight up cunt across the board i like i respected you i feared you and now i know you're just as sad as is the saddest like you're just you you care about people's fame like you were you're supposed to be cooler than that you're the coolest person ever and that's where you go this is sad and then and i swear to god any comedian or a famous person that you look at and you think they are so above it and that they let they would not be google eyed for like a famous person that you look at and you think they are so above it and that they they would not be goo goo eyed for like a famous person or they wouldn't change or they wouldn't dismiss you i promise you they would i really think that i would not i i you know you don't know yourself but i do not i definitely get like gaga eyed for a celebrity there's no doubt about it but i will

not dismiss a lesser celebrity or a lesser or a person i'm talking to unless they're my friend i'll be like oh my god hold on i gotta go say something to this guy like i'll bring you in on it i'm not gonna actually dismiss you but i will tell you one of the coolest comedians that everyone thinks is the coolest guy there is that and i'm not john stewart actually wouldn't i would i said that i go who would i think she's talking about and i would think john stewart. Jon Stewart actually would not probably ignore someone for someone famous. But the other coolest guy that you think just tells it like it is and is just an everyman and doesn't involve himself with Hollywood is such a climber. They're all climbers, everyone. They all would kick you they would stand upon you to get to get an autograph

from someone from you know uh kelly clarkson like this is the level like they will or um you know uh someone that they would probably like kim kardashian someone that they would make fun of on stage when that person walks in they will and i'm like that too with kim kardashian i could talk shit but um that's that was really disappointing to me and I'm like that too with Kim Kardashian. I could talk shit, but that was really disappointing to me was seeing these people that I go, wow, they're like the,

they're heroes of like not caring what other people think and not, they just seem like they transcend celebrity, but they all are climbers. That's how they make it. They're all climbers.

We got to go to break. I'll come back with more after this. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature We've got to go to break. I'll come back with more after this. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful.

I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere.

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We're doing a TV show tomorrow. And I'm excited. Tonight, before my mom gets to town um we're doing a tv show tomorrow and um i'm excited tonight before my mom gets to town i'm doing a set um at the comedy store called comedy on the spot and man i don't want to do comedy on the spot um yeah it's just what i just give you a show and they just give you stuff i'll be i told him i was like he puts up clips too and i go will you not clip this out if i don't do well like am i do i get to have final say i'm the only way i'm doing the show and he was like yeah it's fine so i'm gonna do it but i don't i don't like being put on the spot but it'll be fine i did some crowd work this weekend it was really fun it worked out there was like a guy in the front row with um a girl and i asked they oh he i was doing

a joke about short guys and he raised his hand he's like i'm short and i go and you're with this girl and he was like no and i'm like are you guys friends and he was like yeah and i'm like oh well he's in love with you like 100 and everyone laughed and i'm like it's just the way it is sorry like if you're going to a show together and he's like i'm i have a girlfriend and i go well that's a cool bitch to let you go out with this pretty girl and then um and i go or are you his mistress like i couldn't and then i started like kind of cracking something that i almost was like oh i don't want to out them as and then another person that like knew them was like that's not the whole story and i was like we are stopping this like i just i i got out of it i didn't even say what she said because i was like i don't even want anyone to know i didn't want to bust oh my god

it was so scary but that's how i feel about crowd work is sometimes you just you end up talking to people and they don't divorce case yeah they yeah like you like the guy will start talking and the girl gets pulled into it. And I don't like making people who don't want to be talked to feel uneasy. Like Noah, if you were at a show and suddenly someone started talking to you, you would be horrified. Oh, horrified.

And actually I'm, I'm going to see Colin Quinn on Thursday. He's in town. And, um, so all the tickets for like the first four rows are like standard tickets and then after that row it said ga which is um you know like so i'm like wait i don't want to have to get there when doors open so i don't but i also don't want to get a shitty seat so then i bought the tickets but now

i'm just like oh my god i don't want him to see me how do i become invisible that's why at the beginning of all my shows i always say don't worry i'm not going to talk to any of you like if you're a girl that whose boyfriend is dying for me to talk to you i'm not going to and the guys are always like please i'm like i'm not gonna do it because i'm trying it's not because i'm scared of crowd work i just don't want to make girls like i realize that's it i don't want to make people feel uncomfortable or have if i start talking to one couple i don't want the couple next to them to suddenly go like oh please don't talk to me please don't talk to me please don't talk to me because i know that feeling i used to feel that way too when i would

go to things like do please don't call on me please like the teacher like and people are paying money to see me i don't want to give them a panic attack it's hard too because like the best people that do crowd work with isn't the one that really wants to be talked to because then they try to be funny and then they're like they're not they're not they don't answer real but then you don't want to talk to the two nerd there's someone like in the middle but you know there's someone in the middle who doesn't care either way and it's just like not nervous to answer and is there but isn't eager to answer yes that is the best if you are that person sit up front

that's a great person like raise your hand or something if my show is the best show for people with social anxiety to go to i will never ever the only reason i went in the crowd is because this guy held raised up his hand and um and i immediately as soon as things it's the girl showed that she was a little tense i I just completely left her alone. I'm never going to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm super aware of that. Are you excited to have your mom in town? Yeah.

Isn't it always that thing of she's staying tonight and tomorrow. She gets in tonight and then tomorrow night too. Then on Thursday, Anya's doing a show in Santa Barbara at this nice hotel that she met some fans of mine at a show last tour. And they were like, we need to have you come perform at this hotel we own. And so they had actually followed through, these drunk guys, that she was like, there's no way they're going to actually do this. And so we were staying at this amazing resort in Santa Barbara.

I'm bringing my mom up. We're getting massages, and it's all comped, and it's so nice. Hell yeah. We're going to sing Antihero together, I think. Taylor Swift's Antihero. And then I have two shows in California the next two days. So it's just like a weekend of California, and it's just so nice to not have to get on so many flights.

And but yeah, but the thing with your parents is like, it's the same thing on the show alone. People just get in their heads about how much they miss their people at home, how much they miss their family, how much they can't wait to see them. And then they leave the show and they go home and it's fun. It's like, you know, greetings for like an hour. It lasts. And then it's back to like taking them for granted. Everyone's like, you know, greetings for like an hour it lasts and then it's back to like taking them for granted.

Everyone's just doing their own thing, yeah. Granted. I always say granted because I'm trying to say the opposite. I really can't say that phrase anymore because I always get it wrong. Even, I miss Chris so much this week and I told him when he got home last night,

I got a little bit of an attitude last night because he is working on beauty and the beast and it's late nights now because the show is like getting closer this is what tv production is you just say goodbye to your loved one and just it's all it's like he's on the show alone like i won't see him he'll get eaten by a bear um and he came home last night he said he's gonna be home at eight and then it was 8 30 no it was 8 30 originally was the latest and then 8 45 was more likely and then it was he wasn't home until 9 30 and I just was like hungry missing him wanting to see him and I just got a little bit of a toot and I was like I did not mad at you I'm just mad at like time and I missed you and I even told him that this weekend I was kind of in

like a bummer mood for a little bit of it like I was just like kind of down this first day second day and um no and Anya was like what's going on I was like I think I miss Chris like I've never been able to miss I never missed anyone I've never never lived with anyone in the same bed kind of thing. And I just was sad. And then I told him, I was like, I missed you for the first time ever being on the road. And he was like, okay, that doesn't feel like. He was like, okay.

And I was like, and by the third day, I didn't miss him anymore because I was back to this is my life. I'm on the road. I compartmentalize. He's there. He's not even for me to hang out with i can't it's almost like what i say about when i lose money on something that money was never

mine to have and i'm like he's not mine to have on saturday and sunday get it out of your head if you think of your it is like i can't have that person then you don't miss them as much but i allowed myself to feel miss and it was nice do you miss brenna when you're on the road i mean clearly i do you guys do yeah it's it's hard especially i feel like chris clearly yeah clearly um i feel does chris tell you that he misses you does he like what's hard is like brenna will like just be completely honest about being depressed about missing me and then i feel like so bad about not being there for her you know and it's just those kind i'm just like can you just tell me that you don't miss me like almost i want her to be like i'm living my best life right don't ever come home again you know but yeah of course i miss her

i wish i got to a place where i could bring her more often that'd be fucking awesome yeah but she has to work right experiences yeah she has to work like a fucking asshole yeah i can't believe it i know i that's the ideal life too i yeah chris was he was like i missed you too but he busies himself he's used to be we're both he said he missed me when he did social things he's like i would stay longer at this thing if nicky were with me that's what he said he was like but when i'm home just like working on my bike on my computer watching football i don't know i don't think and i'm the same way like i missed him like at the shows like i want someone to i just want to

like you know on you would be with the merch booth and i would just be like i just want someone to hang you know it would just be like that or or you know going to bed at night and wanting to and just wanting to watch a lot i think i just missed the show alone and i couldn't watch it you have to watch alone with somebody have you started love is blind again like the new not yet not yet um right um it's so pretty late last night. Because you're leaving tomorrow. You only came home for one day. Why didn't you fly just to see Brenna? Yeah, and I guess, I don't even know.

I didn't really think about it. Oh, because the Alabama thing was real last second. Oh, okay. So I wasn't even expecting it. So you had already booked the ticket. But I'm staying in Austin all weekend, so I'm pretty excited about that. We're going to go to like the Texas TCU football game.

Is Bradley coming with you? Yeah, she's going to come on Thursday night. And I have buddies in from New York. And yeah, it's just like the show's Wednesday. I don't know. These weekday shows, when you do the weekends, you're like, I set it up because I wasn't going to do weekends. And now I'm doing weekends. So it's just like, okay, now I'm going back to the airport.

I'm home for like 15 hours. But it's good. So you are doing weekends? Maybe occasionally. I mean, just randomly. Right. But. Yeah, it is.

It's nice to have a weekend. Oh, yeah. It's going to be fun. We're staying at a cool hotel and whatever but um she picked me up from the airport in her and that was fucking awesome like there's nothing better than getting picked up from the airport after a long trip by your girlfriend and she's like and she has high food for me when you hugged her jesus no well i just want to did what did noah say no i'm kidding i'm kidding what did noah say if he had a boner when he hugged her because you must have like mr been horny for her so

yeah like how soon are you just like jumping each other's bones i'm you know me after a fucking couple flights i just want to sleep i i don't even i have a boner the next night it takes a lot of blood all my blood's gone i don't know where it I have a boner the next night. It takes a lot of blood. All my blood's gone. I don't know where it goes. It stays up in the air. I'm going to ask the same question. I was just... Did Chris have a boner when you hugged him? No, no, no, no, no.

I mean, we got things... Did you have a boner? No. No. Nikki? It wasn't... It's like... No.

I'm going through a dry spell of my life that is not related to my boyfriend at all. I just don't... I don't crave... I got to say, I'm too through a dry spell of my life that is not related to my boyfriend at all. I just don't crave. I got to say, I'm too tired for sex. Sex takes too much work. It's so much physical activity. It's like signing up for a F45, F9.

Yeah, I don't want a Peloton. However many minutes it takes. It's too long. It's not too long. It's just too. And sometimes I'm just like, I don't know what's going on. We,

you know, it's, he even said something the other night, like, Hey, I'm just sensing, I'm not taking personally, but like,

you're not like into, and I'm like, I don't know what's going on. It's like, am I getting to this age where it's like, doesn't matter to me anymore because I still, it still matters. Sometimes I get really horny on planes

for some reason like i don't know if it's that's where not all the time but sometimes and please i think it's like one out of every 100 times honestly because that's how often i fly but that's where it will hit me sometimes i never get horny outside of my boyfriend like touching me or me watching porn i never am just like triggered by something in the environment except when i'm on planes once in a while one percent of times so if you see me on a plane please don't think i'm like getting wet and like masturbating it's not happening i didn't unless you're in first class no not then because first class is too spread out i gotta like crumple in a ball to get my fantasies going. I had a middle seat yesterday and two of like the biggest guys ever.

And they were like, there's something too late. You always get the worst luck on flights. Like I've never met anyone who has worse people sitting next to him on flights. And how did you get a middle? What happened to you? What did you, why are you getting a middle seat? It was a late flight, late flight, late booking. And you get there and the guys have the fucking armrests.

They already are there before you and they already have control of the armrests and you're like, okay, I'm the middle. Middle gets the armrest. That's the rule. Middle gets the armrest. You don't go over into the other person's seat, but you get the armrest.

So I couldn't get the armrest from the guy on the left. He just wouldn't give it up. The best way to sleep in a middle seat is to pile up your backpack on top of the table tray and then lean forward on top of it and use it as a lean-to. And then you can go to sleep. And if you pile your sweatshirt too, you want to pile it so high, so much higher than you think.

And that's the best way to sleep on a middle seat. It's better than an aisle. Aisle for me is the worst. Do you bring it up though? Should I go, hey, hey, armrest, middle seat. It's better than an aisle. Aisle for me is the worst. Do you bring it up though? Should I go, hey, armrest, middle guy. No, you would never do that. Even if I thought that was a good idea,

I'd know that you would never in a million years, especially if they were men. Andrew's terrified of men. I'm terrified of altercation. I don't think I trust myself in altercation. You're more scared of men than women are i think like your top priority like if you if there's some hot women you have less like most men want to look cool in front of hot women but you want to look cool in front of hot men and i'm the same way i don't care about hot

men like being cool in front of them we're looking super hot i care about looking cool in front of them or looking super hot. I care about looking cool in front of women. What is that? Yeah, I have no idea. Because I just want, we want friends more than, or we want social acceptance

in the part, people that want, because men are never going to have me in their tribe. They're never going to invite me to their gatherings. They're not going to have me

really, they're just going to fuck me if they want me. Whereas girls, if they like you, they want to be friends with you. That's the thing. I think that's it, is that I want companionship more than I want to get railed.

Yes, that's exactly what it is. That's exactly what I would have said. Even though you have a lot of girlfriends, so they do offer you companionship. Guy friends for women like not as much i feel like i i i almost i i feel it's attainable to get guy friends but to fuck these girls for most of my life i didn't feel like it was gonna happen anyway so i even try right okay let's get to the news you heard it here first yeah you heard it here first Oh my god Breaking news

Sorry Deandra say the intro I just can't believe I just got this text Are you okay? What's happening? He's trying to plug his computer in Okay so I just on my group family chat My dad just sent a picture of Arlo With his eyes crossed

Okay And it says underneath arlo's reaction to matzo ball soup what what sorry about the anti-semitic i don't know what to make of this it means it's it's making him googly eyed he looks like he likes it okay let me just check does that mean he likes it question mark all right we'll see um matzo ball soup definitely what was on best uh top one bottom one that was uh noah's top one i really want some matzo ball can you get vegan matzo ball soup there's no meat in that right well the chicken stock but you could yeah i guess you could probably

do vegetable stock vegetable stock yeah i just want to but you could... Yeah, I guess you could put a matzo ball... You could probably do vegetable stock. Vegetable stock, yeah. I just want to throw that ball. Is it okay if I want to just take the ball and hold it in my hand and go... You need an egg in the ASMR video? What? You need an egg in the matzo ball. Oh, shit.

I'm sure there's substitutes. I guarantee they have. They definitely have that. For sure. I didn't say an extra T. All right. What's the news today, Noah? Where do you get the matzo ball soup?

Where do you get the matzo ball soup? I don't know. No delis around my parents' house. Yeah. Oh, that means he does like it. Confirmation. We do have breaking news. It does mean he likes it.

Okay, good. Can he do cross- eyes whenever he wants? That's impressive for his age, right? Can you guys do cross eyes? That photo looks very artsy also. Yeah, I could do that. Yeah, it's pretty good.

He's wearing a striped shirt. I don't know. It just looks very like modern art. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Yeah. No. No.

I can't. Yeah. I can't either. I can wiggle my ears. My party tricks are wiggle my ears, prayer hands behind my back, and back bend, and I can cross both eyes.

Whoa. Like on different directions. That's fun. Cool. Thanks. This way. Whoa. This way. So yeah. It. Thanks. This way. Whoa. This way.

So, yeah. It makes you look so dumb. Like, and silly. And it hurts my head. Dude, you gotta take more photos like that. It's really funny. I did it in my Uber the other day. People seemed to like it.

All right, Noah, what is the news? Jesus Christ, get to it already. Stop. A TikTok influencer. Come on, Noah. You have a boner, Noah. Come on, Noah. Noah, you have a boner.

Excuse me. Yeah, do you have a boner, Noah, when you- I have a half stock. Okay. Let me get this on the news eventually. All right. A TikTok influencer faces criminal charges after hitting a golf ball

and allegedly throwing her golf club into the Grand Canyon. Yeah, this dumb bitch. But she's been charged with tons of things disorderly conduct because of her tiktoks these people who do think if you see a tiktok where someone is causing disruption or pranking someone or just doing something don't watch it don't give it a view don't give it a like just try to stop yourself from watching it because these people do not need rewards for this stupid behavior and everything's staged and

if it's not staged it's just like a menace to society hitting this girl i wish she fell in the grand canyon this girl is nothing but i don't even know who this girl is but reading the laundry list of things she's been like charged with and arrested for on tiktok is wasn't there a ton of stuff noah yeah she's she's just like a disorderly conduct person yeah that's like her tiktok is wasn't there a ton of stuff noah yeah she's she's just like a disorderly conduct person yeah that's like her tiktok is just all that stuff i don't mind on tiktok how often is that stuff coming up for you andrew where you see stuff that you're like i don't need this shit um there's like i see a lot of fighting i guess because i watch it long enough to see the knockout don't watch it don Don't give these things. Something like that I would hate.

It's hard to do. I was reading this article. Gwyneth Paltrow was like, none of these people are talented. And you're like, I'll find the next SNL person. And then we got to this story. Well, not from that.

This one girl the other day had the funniest one. This girl was just doing impression of Swifties. And it was just a perfect impression. She was like 18 and just so funny. And I was like, who is this girl was just doing impression of Swifties and it was just a perfect impression. She's like, you know, 18 and just so funny. And I was like, who is this girl? But I was reading this article about TikTok and how it puts up really disturbing content for some people and you can't help but watch it.

And then it gives you more disturbing content where like animals are being abused or people are dying or people are sharing their stories about like molestation and like just triggering stuff like constantly. I am terrified to get on TikTok to see that stuff. I don't want to see, you know, animals dying or getting hurt or people.

I just, that's why I never, couldn't ever watch Tosh.0. I just don't want to see people's balls get ripped open because they're, you know, that's like so much of what's happening is just exploding balls on that show yeah and i heard that concussed tiktok like in other countries well well it's a apparently this is like i don't know if it's just rumor but in like china they'll show videos of like kids doing math and then to us they show kids like dying in a fire to like

make us like like they really control like what They really control what videos are being seen here. Man, I just saw a whole video about having... It was on Jon Stewart's show, which I didn't even know if anyone watched that, but they clipped it out and put it on Reddit, and it was all about socialized healthcare and how people are like, I like paying taxes.

I pay 38% tax and I like paying it because I don't have to go. My kids get their school paid for and they have a great education. I don't have to like, you get things if you pay taxes other places and here everyone hates taxes because you don't see the result of it anywhere.

It's so fucked. Other places, the idea that we, there was another Reddit the other day that was like, why do Americans think, or it was something about, oh yeah, it was a foreigner saying,

why do Americans think we want to be them? Like, it is not that way anymore, everyone. Like, it's not, unless you're living in, maybe like Mexico,

it's maybe a dream, but there's, no one wants to be here anymore like it's embarrassing yeah we're gonna there's gonna be people like taking asylum from america like we're gonna be running we're the best yeah i mean and there's there's people that are so much more famous than our celebrities we think our hollywood is like the best and it's like there's other there's a there's celebrities sometimes online where i'll see them and i go this person is literally 200 million followers and i've never heard of her a girl named antila or something no idea who it is and the most fate and she's uh dates maluma

or someone i'm just like they're all one name yeah yeah so famous so much more famous than our kardashian like famous and we have no idea who they are our world is so small we gotta go to Yeah, yeah. So famous. So much more famous than our Kardashian. Like famous. And we have no idea who they are. Our world is so small. We got to go to space. Okay, Noah, next story. Okay, next one. All right.

A good night's sleep can make us more empathetic, more creative, and better partners. A psychologist offers tips to get a good night's rest. Okay, let's hear them. All right. So during the day, instead of reaching for caffeine, plunge your head in the freezer. The brief shock of cold activates

your arousal system. Yeah, cold showers wake you up. Cold splash on the face. Head in the freezer. Oh man, this guy died in a freezer the other night in Brooklyn. Did you see that story? Maybe it was Queens. At a donut place. And he was cleaning

the freezer overnight and he got trapped in it 3 a.m by 6 a.m he died and he was a you know immigrant working hard and like just got caught in this freezer and it's just so sad um so okay so stick your head in a freezer to wake up so these are things to get a good night's sleep oh so don't have caffeine because caffeine will prevent good night's sleep. Yeah, most people end up having caffeine in their systems as they go to sleep if they drink it through the day. Also, another good one during the day, carve out time for scheduled worry.

So instead of waking up in the middle of the night starting to worry about stuff, if you schedule time to worry during the day, you might prevent it from... I think that's what meditation is. Honestly, yesterday I sat down to meditate and it was 20 minutes of me sometimes focusing on my breath for like two seconds

and then I would go off on a worry tangent. And then by the end of it, because you're stuck in your brain and it's just, you get to work some shit out. And then by the end of it, I was just much more calmer. I think meditation, people have it as like, you gotta be still minded and I. And then by the end of it, I was just much more calmer. I think meditation, people have it as like, you got to be still minded

and I'm going to be thinking the whole time. That's what it is. That's what it is. And it seemed like I was doing it to just like, let's just get all, let's run into the fire. Let's run into the freezer and see what's in there

and then get through it and not get locked out. Yeah, because I haven't been meditating at all. I meditated for two years straight every single day, see what's in there and then get through it and not get locked out um yeah because i'm not i haven't been meditating at all i will you know i meditated for two years straight every single day sometimes twice a day and then i took i've been on a break for years now and getting back into it and i just needed it yesterday and it was just me thinking the whole time and just worrying and just working out about all the things i'm stressed out about. And it actually helped. Okay, so what are some other stuff?

Here's another one. Declutter your bedroom. Remove all unfinished tasks. Like if you have like a pile of dirty laundry, just put it in another room so you don't look at it before bed. Oh, okay. Or put it in the corner of your room, one of the four corners. Andrew's four corners.

That is true. When I have a really messy room it's harder for me to sleep that truly checks out yesterday i came home and um chris had hired a cleaner for our apartment and i walked into a spotless like the incredible clean apartment that i didn't even recognize this airbnb that we are staying in and uh they even made my weighted blanket that is on the our bed into a bow like they squeezed the middle of it so it was just this big bow on our bed it was so cute and i slept so nicely because it was just crisp and cool and it felt like i was in a hotel yeah there's something about that man also if you have like a worry mind you're just gonna

be thinking about like somehow that those clothes on the floor is going to be part of your dream it's in your head somewhere that you're out of the room can they go away i guess but that just feels like something's unfinished i just think the idea is like something's unfinished in your house and that's why you're not gonna be able to sleep perfectly i know does anyone ever have everything I was listening to a podcast about time management and they found that it is people that have

no time for anything and their whole schedule is boom boom boom they are miserable okay and then the more time

people have they get happier and happier and happier and happier and then the people with all the time in the world

it goes back to miserable so it is as just as miserable as people that have so it's a it is about a balance of like that's why four days into a vacation you're kind of just like kind of don't like doing nothing like i gotta that's why the pandemic made us all crazy like having nothing isn't good but man the idea that something is coming like i have a photo shoot tomorrow and it's already stressing me out because i have no shoes i think i'm gonna do it like bare feet just because i don't have any shoes to wear i didn't bring enough here um and that's what my that's my stress today is that i have a photo shoot tomorrow on top of filming a show and then i've sets at night my mom's in town, and I don't have shoes,

or cute clothes for it. And I could hire my stylist, but it would be thousands of dollars, and I just don't want to do it. So, what do I do? Put out a Instagram story of, best shoes to wear with this dress. I don't know.

Do something. Use Julie's shoes. But then I have to get shoes. Julie wears size six and a half, and I'm a nine and a half, so that ain't gonna happen. Squeeze into them. Wear Chris's shoes. That then I have to get shoes. Julie wears size six and a half and I'm a nine and a half, so that ain't gonna happen. Wear Chris's shoes. That's actually a good idea.

Probably closer to fitting me. It's just, being a woman is garbage sometimes, everyone. The amount of shoes you have to have for different outfits. If I were a guy, I could just wear one pair of shoes and change out my pants. Chris was trying on stuff the other night and I was just like, this is so easy. Where, at the store?

Like, you went shopping? No, he bought a bunch of stuff from Bonobos and was doing a little fashion show here. And I was just like, that looks good, that looks good, that looks good. And it's all just muted colors, the same shirt in different colors, the same pants in different colors. It's so fucking easy. And I know it's not easy for all men. Like some guys don't know what the fuck they're doing. But women, you got to have, you know, the jewelry to match the thing.

And I know you don't have to, but man, it ups your look. Man, it ups your look. Man. All right, we got to go to break. We'll come back with more bitching and moaning after this catch john stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners,

like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy model.

Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in.

It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused.

I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back.

This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you know that companies hire the most in the first two months of the year? Or that nearly half of workers are worried about being left behind? I'm Andrew Seaman, LinkedIn's editor at large for jobs and career development.

And my show Get Hired brings you all the information you need to, well, get hired. People are forming opinions of you even before you log into the Zoom or walk into the room. And so you really have to think about what is it I want to display. You don't plant a garden and then just walk away and expect it to thrive. You are in there pulling out the weeds. You're pruning it. You're watering it. It's the same thing with your network.

You should always be in there actively managing your network. If you don't feel confident to say a number, even admitting that to a recruiter is going to be far better than saying, well, what is your budget for the role? A lot is in the follow-up, right? Don't wait to follow up. Whether you're a new grad, an established professional, or contemplating a career change, Get Hired is for you. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you like to listen.

When I smoke weed, I get lost in the music. I like to isolate each instrument, the rhythmic bass, the harmonies on the piano, the sticky melody. Careful, babe. There's someone crossing the street. Sorry, I didn't see him there. If you feel different, you drive different. Don't drive high. It's dangerous and illegal everywhere. A message from NHTSA and the Ad Council. We're back.

My mom just wrote me, by the way. Nikki, did you happen to buy a lottery ticket? Because $2 billion one was in Los Angeles County. And they haven't found the winner yet. I hate to tell you you Bob, but no. Yeah. $2 billion. Someone won the jackpot. Yeah,

I know. I know. It's so much money. Um, but no, it was, it wasn't me. It wasn't me.

Um, all right, let's do, it's been a while. Let's do, um, it's been a while. Um,

why do I care? Why do I care? Why do I care? All right, now what's our celeb story of the day? Celeb story of the day. Newly crowned People's 2022 Sexiest Man Alive, Chris Evans jokes he's already feeling his age. Getting older, things are clicking and sore, and it's harder to wake up.

Yeah, I'd say things are clicking. You just it's harder to wake up yeah i'd say things are clicking you just get people's sexiest man alive things are clicking what first of all i don't agree no offense to chris evans he is not a hot guy that has ever been on my radar i love hot guys i even told chris last night i was like i don't get this one he is such a plain jane there's nothing about him that's interesting it's just so bland 41 i should he's 41 okay he's feeling it no no oh you feel it at 41 a little bit for sure you feel things click and stick in but like um okay so he's getting older but he's he looks better with age i have to say that as than he did when he was in his 20s and he was in like um not another teen movie or whatever i just have never been attracted to him

you know who is a guy that looks like him who is does have that next level hotness what's his name from top gun the blonde guy from top gun looks like chris evans but like has a hotness. What's his name from Top Gun? The blonde guy from Top Gun looks like Chris Evans, but like has a hotness to him. The one that we thought looked like a chocolate bunny? Yeah, the one that you thought was carved out of chocolate. Chris Evans looks like he's carved out of chocolate to me. Yeah, he does. He's too like, he's just the American made man.

Like if you think of like someone that's like. He looks like he's like totally like this. Yeah, he's got blue eyes. I don't, you know, he's just like very American. He's just exactly what you would. You know what I want in my blonde, boring white man? I want a Chris Pine. There's like structure to his face.

There's like piercing blue eyes. There's like full lips. I don't want, i don't want to um who's the guy that katie holmes dated who is in um not i know what you did less or maybe he was what not freddie prince was a great looking guy but this guy um oh he was in election he's just kind of like and he was an american pie remember that guy oh stifler no stifler's a great looking blonde guy this This guy isn't blonde. American Pie, he was like the jock guy.

Hold on. Gotta look up. Yes, Chris Pine is a more interesting looking Chris Evans. Chris Klein. Chris Klein. What is happening here? Boring looking. Chris Pine and Chris Evans are the same to me. Yes's what, that Chris Pine and, Chris Klein and Chris,

wait, Evan, are the same to me. Yes, I see that. They're just, it's boring. And I,

I have a boring face too. I mean, it takes one to know one. So it's, it just doesn't do it for me. Sexiest man alive, who would you guys say? If like,

to win, like, Tom Hardy. Cause you want to, who? Tom Hardy. Okay. That's a good one know i've never really gotten

into that's a good one oh but really he's like rugged he's not he's looks like a model but he's just off his cauliflower ear he looks no what no this guy is not yes he does not maybe that was one of his ears is coming out too far. And not that that's a horrible thing. And his, I think his nose is, I don't like his nose. He just looks like a normal person that you would see. He'll be mine. He's too normal, Noah. I mean, there, that's a sexy man right there.

Let me see. He kind of looks like, I think. No, that is a basic guy. That's a guy that put on a suit that just, that guy could manage a quiz nose. No, that is a basic guy. That's a guy that put on a suit that just... That guy could manage a Quiznos. No, that guy is not special. There is nothing special about that guy's looks. I will not allow it.

Tom Hardy, if you're listening, you are special to me. What about someone like Sacha Baron Cohen? Like something outside the box. No. Sexiest man alive? No. I just said a Jewish guy. He's like silly.

What about a Jewishish guy yeah i mean didn't what's his name just went and paul rudd just won recently yeah he won last year i get that he's really hot but paul rudd again is just that all-american look he looks like chris evans if chris evans never worked out like they kind of have Obama. That'd be hot, I guess. It'd be weird to be like... He's mine. Mine is probably... God, who is just bringing it?

I mean... Cole from Love is Blind. No. He looks like Chris Evans. He's so cute. No, he's a cutie. Clay from Season eight of alone holy moly i had to tell chris i'm like i am attracted to it is it weird to be watching a show with your

boyfriend and just you feel so attracted to one of the people you have to let him know like if i was watching with my girlfriend i'd be like i like i can't get over it like i had to tell him so clay at the beginning? What about Henry Cavall? The feelings built. And I was like, I'm keeping this to myself. And then it felt like I was keeping a secret from him because every time Clay would come on screen.

And so now it's a joke with us. Every time Clay does anything, I'm just like, he is just so strong. He is, he's poetic. Like he misses his, I'm just like,

he mentions his wife and I like growl. Yeah. It's become like a joke for us but i i felt like in i felt like i was cheating on him with my thoughts by watching the show with him and not telling him how i felt about clay um all right let's get to our wednesday segment that noah has come up with i love this idea it. It's new. It's fun. Let's do it. Okay, this segment is called Finish the Taylor Swift Lyric. I'm going to read a Taylor Swift lyric and you guys are going to finish it

with your own interpretation. With our own words. So we're not guessing what the... It's not like this is a guessing game of how well do you know Taylor Swift's lyrics? This is like, how would you finish the song if you were talking? Right.

Or how would you finish the lyric? Yes. Okay. This is going to be fun. Okay. So first one, they say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell.

Let me just add the word every time. Every time you. Every time you. So she's talking to someone. So they say, all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you blank.

Mine would be, ask me to go hiking. Oh, we don't have to sing it. It's just. I will. All's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you ask me to go outside.

You said if we stopped at REI, we could get some good supplies that would make it so I didn't want to die. The idea of you and me on a cliff is disgusting and I don't want to do it now. Let's watch alone instead. I want to watch people being outside. I don't want to do it.

Please don't make me Ted. I forgot your name is Chris. Okay. Klein. Klein. Okay, Andrew, what makes you want to die or uh what's your i'm in a new hell every time you ask me to go shopping because we never just get one thing i like to go in and out i don't want to sit there while you try on 40 things.

Seriously, why are we going back in this store? Does she like you to look at her in different things? Does she need your support? Why does she not just go by herself? Because I think that is probably it. She likes when I sit down when I have to shit. I got to find one in Nordstrom's. Is it all the way to the left? Oh, it's to the right. Oh, my God. I'm going to shit i gotta find one in nordstrom's is it all the way to the left oh it's to the right oh my god i'm gonna shit oh my god i feel the same way about shopping

with my boyfriend it's so boring he takes longer than me i go into stores and then i see a shirt i put it over my shirt that I am wearing in store. I don't go and try it on in a dressing room because I know the lighting will be shit and I'll look like I'm on Zoom. A buffoon. Yeah, I hate going shopping too. And Chris takes longer than me

and it's not like he's torturous but I end up being like sitting on the couches with the guys that are waiting for their wives he likes shopping like and taking his time and trying on things and being meticulous and I just I want shopping if we have a there's a goal in mind

like you go oh you want these Nikes and they're at champs let's do it that's fun let's go we'll go then we'll go get food no that's not what shopping is to women shopping is like let's see what's out there and see what happens lets. Let's do it. That's fun. Let's go. We'll go. Then we'll go get food. No, that's not what shopping is to women. Shopping is like, let's see what's out there and see what happens. Let's see what's out there.

And I do like shopping. Me and Noah went shopping. Yeah, we went to the vintage store. That was so successful. Did that miniskirt work? Have you worn it yet? Yes. Noah bought a miniskirt just for home use

and a black miniskirt. To get things off the top shelf? What's happening? I have been looking for just like a black miniskirt. I don't like to spend. He did have a boner. I was looking for a black miniskirt for, I don't know how many months that I didn't like spend too much money on.

Cause I don't like wearing miniskirts skirts in public we walk into this vintage shop nikki is in there for less than two seconds and she's like here you go it really was the first 30 seconds that i'm so fast i'm just i you're so efficient but i you know we were. I got a really cool belt with stars on it. I got some pants that I love too. So I do like shopping, but I like vintage shopping. And that's where you go. And I don't know what I'm going to find. But mall shopping, retail shopping,

when I just see everything as future landfill, it makes me want to die. Okay, next Taylor Swift thing. Okay, next one. How do we end up on the floor anyway you say okay so this is um the your boyfriend or your girlfriend asks you how'd up how'd we end up on the floor anyway you say and then what do you say um oh wait again no she asked that so you ask how'd we end up on the floor anyway and then what do they say or let's do it the other way they ask you how did you yes that's what i imagine what the hell is happening you guys

are on the floor i feel very confused okay so we're on you're on the floor with your significant other okay okay okay and in the morning and then you um they ask how did we end up on the floor anyway you say and then what do you say? I started drinking again and I'm sorry. I had a few Jager bombs. It was my way. And now I just fucking pissed on you all day. I thought yours was going to be

I bent down to pet our cat Nacho. That's how. Or whatever cat's name. Mango. That's how. And now I can't get up now. My bones are so fucking weak. I'm like Chris Evans because I can't get up either.

We're so alike. Oh yeah, you guys with your creaky bones. Have you ever started having sex on your bed and you end up on the floor somehow? That's happened twice in our relationship and it's really funny. No, I'm not dating a 25-year-old. Yeah, not in this relationship.

She's 26, Nikki. Fucking A. God, I'm so sick of that. No, I don't think we've ever ended up on the floor. Actually, no, that's not true. We have. But that was when we were, because there, yeah, we've ended up on the floor. It's been so long, though though since it's been like that i did read a thing on reddit yesterday that was like

just know that anytime you go over someone's house and you're on their couch they've had that couple has had sex on that yeah every part of the house yeah and i was like yeah i used to have a couch and my roommate had sex on my couch before i did hey i was alone i was alone you had sex with the couch that's different that comes inside the couch thank you it's not on top of it has a you know he said that when he was a kid he used to stick his dick in between the couch cushions and that's how he would jerk off smart That's so smart. I don't understand why more people wouldn't do that. How did that end up on the floor anyway? We're staying at an Airbnb and the table is small and that's the only place we could eat our Thai.

That's the answer. Oh, gotcha. So that's why I'd be on the floor with my boyfriend probably is eating food. Cindy Nene style. It's very tough. Yeah, but I can't see us having sex on this floor it's very rough and hard and not maybe if you started all right next lyric yeah we yeah if we started on the floor we'd end up in the basement have you banged on that couch behind your shoulder no not yet have not someone at that Airbnb has. That made me feel sad when I read that thing.

I was like, Chris and I haven't christened that fucking love seat. It's not a love seat yet. Love seat on this face. Okay. All right. This next lyric comes from Nothing New, which features Phoebe Bridgers. Phoebe Bridgers, yeah. And I know it's sad, but this is what I think about.

I wake up in the middle of the night what do you think about oh and I know it's sad probably what exactly what that song is about which is being replaced by younger women um but mine is actually what do I wake up in the middle of night thinking about um the photo shoot I have to do the next day and how much sleep I'm not gonna get get before just looking at my week and worrying about it. Isn't it funny you wake up in the middle of the night when you could be sleeping to worry about how much sleep you're not going to get the coming days?

So worse. That's what I worry about. I worry about how I'm going to have to cancel a meeting that I do the next day and postpone it, which is what I'm going to do right after this meeting or I'm just meeting this podcast I'm going to postpone a meeting that I don't want to have because I just don't have anything to really say or yet on the matter and um yeah and then I'm going to go crawl back in bed and uh it's a clean room so I'm going to sleep well what about you Andrew what do you worry about in the middle of the night probably it depends but if i have to do something in the morning i tend to worry about waking up in the morning which then keeps me up

at night which is fucking annoying so like a flight or a call yeah something that you can't get out of uh tea time i feel anything that i feel like i can't get away from if i feel trapped by any means yes i'm very bad that's just in any thing in my life but yeah yes that and probably like yeah that and just i don't know there's so many sad fucking things going on in the world well how can you sleep perfectly i always wonder how people oh no i sleep all the way through the night i never like how i've never i wake up in the night but i don't i really don't wake up to worry. I don't. I don't think I said that, but I wake up to go to the bathroom, and then I just go back to bed.

It's rare that I don't just go back to sleep. Do you look at your phone when you go to the bathroom? Yeah, I would. Will you check it for a second? No, because I'm usually still tired. Yeah. I just wake up bleary-eyed, and I just go to the bathroom, and then I just kind of go back to bed. And I look at the time, and then I just fall back asleep.

Okay. If you have to pee or poop, what do you do? Poop in the middle of the night? No, that's never happened. What? What? Wait, wait. You've never pooped in the middle of the night?

I've never had to wake up in the middle of the night and had to poop ever. Literally ever. No. My body just knows that it's not time in the middle of the night. That's just, it wouldn't happen for me. You've never had bubble guts in your stomach and you're like, oh no, I can't wait. It's always probably waited to the morning. I've never really pooped in the morning either.

It's always like after I have, like it'll be after this podcast that it's like time for me. Wow. I poop so many times in the middle of the night. So many times. Really? Yeah. Interesting. But I was going to ask if you turn the light on

or do you just shit in the dark? Or do you pee in the dark? No, I turn... It depends. I can do both though. It doesn't wake me up to turn on the light too much. Just don't look at your phone. Don't go back in your phone.

It's going to wake you up. Yeah, for sure. It's almost like you want to stay up. Like you guys got to gotta you're only up to get to the bathroom and then get back in your little sleeping bag all right final thought let's do one more and now that i'm grown i'm scared of and now that i'm grown, I'm scared of... The show alone. No, I don't know what I'm scared of now. And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of...

Not being as talented as people think I am. Or that I've tricked everyone into thinking I am. Getting murdered while jogging? And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of people having expectations from me and not meeting them. And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of comedians talking behind my back and saying I'm not that funny. And now that I'm grown,

I'm scared of, um, people making fun of me. And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of my skin falling off my face. And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of, um,

uh, just aging. And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of my hair falling out. And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of not aging and now that I'm grown I'm scared of my hair falling out and now that I'm grown I'm scared of not having cute enough clothes and now that I'm grown I'm scared of all the same things

I was scared of when I was young what about you Andrew? now that I'm grown I'm scared I can't get hard without a pill okay that's it for us you guys thank you for listening to the show we will be back tomorrow with one more show to round out the week uh love you guys so much uh see you this weekend hopefully and um don't be cool and jackpot because i couldn't think of anything else yeah just classic

it feels like a nice pot today yeah yeah jack pottery john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines exclusive extended interviews and more Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions,

the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships

and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry.

I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, you guys, I'm Catherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events. Tune into my new podcast, Thrle Therapy, with Catherine Legg,

an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far.

I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, Jonathan Schechter Billy Porter and so many more look if you haven't heard these episodes yet hey now's your chance you gotta check them out

listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts