The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #3 Early Forty

Episode Date: March 25, 2021

Between you and Nikki, find out what happened after the recording session yesterday. Nikki and Andrew discuss a unique angle this podcast takes, sex stats and latest headlines, Nikki slides into a Bachelor's DMs and in the Final Thought the gals help Andrew figure out his insecurity.We want to help you with your "textual or sexual" DMs! E-mail us: [e-mail]. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe,

and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen

is an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex and love.

Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Thank you, Noah. Producer Noah over in Arizona. Episode three, guys. Listen, between you and me, episode two, I was not feeling great. But the thing is, it was almost like yesterday recording was a respite from how terrible I felt

because as soon as we were done, all of the sickness came flooding in. I mean, I think I referenced it on the show that I wasn't feeling great, but I went upstairs to go take a shower and, um, to get ready for my day and got out of the shower. Like, you know, one of those, I usually take a, about a two minute shower is for the longest shower. If I'm, if I'm not washing, well, even if I'm washing my hair, well, we'll add on five minutes cause I let the conditioner soak in, but I'm bored during those five minutes. I'm not doing shit. I'm just like kind of waiting. And I hate not having anything to do. I want to like check my phone because I take fast showers. I've always said this. I'll get back to what happened after

the shower, but people that take long showers, I'm trying to approach things I don't understand with more curiosity than being angry about it because I grew up in a house that I learned we try to conserve energy and water. My dad is an environmentalist. And so I always took short showers because my dad was always like worried about the water. And also he used to watch us. That's a joke that I wrote a really long time ago, but I think it's very funny that like, but you know,

my dad was concerned about water and also he would watch us, um, shower. So I would get in and out as quick as I could. No. Um, I just take fast showers now. And I don't know if it's because of that, but I honestly, I don't know what else to do in there. I want to

talk to Andrew about it because the other day we got into, you know, there was some tweet many moons ago about washing your legs, if you wash your legs or not. And I am not a leg washer unless I'm shaving them or unless they have like physical dirt upon them. Otherwise, I just think the water washes it away. Or if, yeah, I've never washed my back before intentionally like with a scrub unless there's like I got a, you know, a fake tattoo of an owl, which I did get on my back two summers ago. That was the only time I think I've scrubbed my back ever. But what I do, I get in the shower, I soap up, I get my pits, I get my vag, I get my back behind my butt. I like get that area and I don't need to scrub for like 20 seconds.

I need to scrub for like two seconds. I'm just like, like I give it a good scrub. So like, there's just no way, you know, I'm not like, there's nothing terrible going on down there. It's just a general, like a day's worth of buildup. And then I get out. If that's,

if I'm not washing my hair, I literally can take a 15, I would say a 30 second shower and feel totally clean getting out and totally refreshed. If I'm not washing my hair, if I am washing my hair, we add add a five minutes but i'm not doing anything else in those five minutes you have to tell people about the squeegee technique oh that i learned the squeegee technique is a great drying method that i learned from a wtf episode from mark maron ages

ago i mean like probably 10 years ago at this point but he was talking about how in relationships when you break up with someone you could always look at something of like, I'm glad that happened because I got this thing from them. This girl, he, or I think his ex-wife taught him that when you get out of the shower, when you're finished with your shower, you take your hand and you use it as a squeegee, like you would washing your window at the gas station like your windshield and you use your hand and you flick the water down like you're just like going over your leg all the way down and you flick the water off and it just gets all this water off that would have soaked your towel so much more and it dries you so much faster than if you just hop out without doing the squeegee i

don't do it every time but when i do have like less of a towel or a towel that's already kind of wet and i don't want to make it more wet i always do have like less of a towel or a towel that's already kind of wet and I don't want to make it more wet, I always squeegee. That's a life hack you taught me. And it helps me so much because in my bathroom, the door is far away from the shower. So if, and the towel hangs on the door,

so if I don't bring it to where the toilet is, I have to come out. I'm like freezing. So I just use the squeegee. And you get joy water everywhere and you create like a lazy river situation. And you know, isn't it so funny when you get joy water everywhere and you create like a lazy river situation and you know isn't it so funny when you get out of the shower to like grab something you forgot and you just are like oh i'll just run to my bedroom real quick or whatever you it looks yeah it's there's like a

flood situation that when you come back out you're're like, how did this much water, how was this all accumulated on my tiny little body? How did I bring this? It truly looks like a lazy river of like your steps. So yes, squeegee before you go grab something. So what happened? I got out of the shower yesterday. Yeah. And I just leaned over the toilet and it came like, I didn't have to like wait for it. I was was just like and there was the oatmeal I talked about yesterday that I love so much I haven't puked in so long and as someone who like has a history with eating disorders and I did I was bulimic like you know I think it's been like 12 years at this no probably 10 years 2010 so 11 years since I've like induced my own. It was a little bit like, oh man, am I just doing like,

there's a question in your mind of like, is this going to start some sort of cycle for me? Because it's not hard for me to do that if I want to, because I did it so much as someone with an eating disorder. But yesterday it was just like, my head hurt it so much as someone with an eating disorder. But yesterday, it was just like, my head hurt so bad that it was making me nauseous. Like my headache caused me nausea. It wasn't like, because then, but then we go to set. So I puked and I felt terrible still, you know, I get dressed like minimal dress. We have a half hour to drive to my location. And I had Andrew drive. I'm like cradled in the back seat, just slept the whole time, wore a sleep mask, put on white noise.

He just drove in silence. We get there and I arrive and I'm usually like, Hey everyone. Like I'm so excited to be at work. I love all my friends I've met on set. I'm like, I love going to this job. Love, love, love. And I walked in yesterday and I was just like, I'm really sick. And I didn't want anyone's sympathy. And I didn't want people to be like tiptoeing around my feelings. And at one point I was in the makeup chair and I was waiting for my makeup artist to come back from grabbing some supplies. And I, as she was gone, I just was like, didn't want to sit. And I didn't want to go into the bed. It's in a bedroom, my green room. Cause it's in this house that we're shooting in.

I didn't want to go to bed because the bed would have been so much harder to get out of than the cold, cold floor. And the floor was so cold and clean. Cause it's really nice house. So I just cradled on the floor and put my head on the floor. And I just, it looked so dramatic. And she came back in and I go, I'm not trying to be dramatic. I don't want people to be concerned. This just feels really good. And they were all like very understanding. And then she blow dried my hair and I was like, I can't, I can't keep going. Like I need to take a nap to like put a cleave in this day to start over, you know, like I, cause I know that my headaches only go away if I take a nap or go to sleep. So I took a 20 minute nap and I woke up and I was a hundred percent, like people couldn't believe it. It almost seemed like I was faking. And the rest of the day,

I had the greatest day of my life. Also, there's codeine in the Tylenol here. Or in the ibuprofen here in the Caymans. So I popped one of those. But I don't think it was that per se because codeine doesn't really ever do anything for me. But I will say that. And Andrew got sick later on too.

He got sympathy. That's why sickness is psychological because someone else on our set also got sick yesterday, totally unrelated to mine. He saw me getting sick, and then when I started shooting, I heard that he had thrown up and was sick, and he had shown no signs of it before. So it's such a psychological thing

because he's a hypochondriac anyway, so I think it kind of rubbed off on him. We'll ask him about it when he comes in to do the news we got a lot of good news stories today noah how are you feeling today about the show i think i'm about to no i'm just kidding i feel great does that ever happen to you do you ever get sympathies i go you got sympathy sick and i go wait never mind he's just a hypochondriac no because i'm not a hypochondriac and usually god yeah when i feel sick i just try to ignore it and just make it go away and that usually helps yeah i mean if you kind of because

a lot of sickness even if a sickness is a real sickness you can trick your mind into not giving into it as much look up a thing called the sick role it It's a psychology term. And shout out to anyone who does have hypochondria or OCD around this. I'm saying thank God I don't have that because I know what torture that is and how real that is. And I have a lot of sympathy for it because I have OCD in other ways. So I am not belittling you. I'm grateful. I don't have to suffer with what you have. And I hope it doesn't ever get to that for me. But it must be really hard. And we'll talk to Andrew about it because he definitely struggles with it. So Andrew's coming in right after this.

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early,

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It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses.

But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Did you know that companies hire the most in the first two months of the year? Or that nearly half of workers are worried about being left behind? I am Andrew Seaman, LinkedIn's Editor-at-Large for Jobs and Career Development. And my show, Get Hired, brings you all the information you need to, well, get hired. People are forming opinions of you even before you log into the Zoom or walk into the room. And so you really have to think about what is it I want to display. You don't plant a garden and then just walk away and expect it to thrive. You are in there pulling out the weeds. You're pruning it.

You're watering it. It's the same thing with your network. You should always be in there actively managing your network. If you don't feel confident to say a number, even admitting that to a recruiter is going to be far better than saying, well, what is your budget for the role? A lot is in the follow up, right? Don't wait to follow up. Whether you're a new grad, an established professional or contemplating a career change, Get Hired is for you. Listen to Get Hired with Andrew Seaman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you like to listen. Andrew Collin, welcome to the third episode.

Hey. How'd you sleep last night? Oh, like a baby. I didn't ask you this morning when we were eating breakfast, getting ready for the show. I know. We don't talk to each other. We try not to talk that much off air because I do think, though, that us living together

makes for a better show than if we didn't. Agreed. 100%. And working together on a separate thing and being best friends and doing every social thing together.

I think it makes for a better show when we do this. Well, we've become one human. I was worried about... We're meeting in the middle of your feminism and me, my masculinity. And I think we're just turning into one... I think we're meeting with my masculinity and your feminism.

Yeah. We're realizing that... Well, we have so much to discover on the show. But I did used to think that it maybe was a bad idea that I'm creating a podcast that I do daily. Like, I always think about the listener experience. Do you want to hear people that live together, socialize together, work together on this podcast?

I was wondering, that's too much. They're going to miss out on things. I feel like it's actually better. I think it's unique. I don't think there's anyone else doing it. I think there's couples that do it. There's no one that's not a couple doing it. i'm saying yeah like there's yeah well because people in their late 30s and 40s don't have platonic best 40s well i mean you're in your early 40

you're in your late 40 you're about to be 41 i remind you constantly yeah every day i don't know why seven which i think is like the sexiest woman age. I don't know. 37 is just like the coolest number. I remember when my mom turned 37 and being like, that's such like, she was just like sexy and cool. Yeah. She had two kids, a mortgage. She like smoked cigarettes and wore like cool clothes and just was like, she's just as cool.

Hammered. Yeah. She was hammering things. She is a handy woman um yeah 40 42 is like or 40 being 40 i think about like all the celebrities that got like george clooney hugh jackman they all were their hottest in their early 40s so i think i'm only getting better here you know i mean yeah i i think that think there's so much truth to that. I look back when I was 16, 17, 18, when girls were supposed to be like,

they're most supple and sexual. And I looked like a substitute teacher. I mean, I showed you a picture yesterday. And you were like, you have to put that on your Instagram. And I go, no, I can't because people will bully me and be mean to that. They'll be like, whoa. i've had such a glow up as they call it from that person but i don't want people to go be so mean to that girl yeah that didn't know she looked like a you know a a librarian in a one of those trailer libraries like they weren't did you ever have

those no bills i mean look it's i guess it's kind of if someone they say you have an inner child and so i had an inner older woman yeah you do look older at 16 but i feel like you you can change your look like i have gotten i was going through old pictures of even when i was in the business, it's insane how I had no concept of how to look attractive. And I think it was because I didn't really want to, I was drinking too much. Like I didn't, and maybe the fashions were different too. So you look back at that and you go, what was I thinking? But it was like, that was hot back then or whatever, but it wasn't, I just had no concept. I feel more attractive now than I ever have in my life. And I'm 36, but that doesn't, it comes with a lot of effort. But yeah, I feel like I kind of squandered my youth in terms of like not working out, not having the best body I could. I see all these, like,

you know, you see girls on TikTok that are 15 that look like, so like, they look like women, like sexy women. And I hate saying that that's why i had to get off tiktok i was just too triggered by it like getting jealous of 15 year olds but i just didn't care about those things when i was 15 and now i i kind of do but it's yeah it's i feel like well i think you know if you're not focused on that you're focused on other things which gave you um a personality which gave you your funniness, which gave you your work drive to then now your, I guess your look, AKA can catch up with the other positive things that you've been working on your whole life.

Yeah. It's just interesting. But you just want to be a little minx. No, I just want to be myself. I like, that's all I want. Like I was thinking about like attracting someone right now and I'm like, I just want to be myself. That's all I want. I was thinking about attracting someone right now, and I'm like, I don't want to put anything out there that I can't keep up or that I have to keep up.

You know what I think you can do? You can buy lollipops. To look younger? Yeah, I think it's sexy. I think you showing up on set sucking on a lolly. I don't know how you... I crack those things. I don't showing up on set sucking on a lolly i don't know how you i think i crack those things i can't i don't have the patience to suck on a lolly i would just go and like bite it like a blow pop like just to get the gum out but it's it's a dum-dum so it

doesn't have gum and then i just chew on the stick and it becomes like a dude i did the same thing the paper would like be in my teeth and i would chew on like half the dum-dum there's no point in you having to just give me a piece of paper just give me a straw what's another sexy thing i'm trying to think like maybe i've been eating a banana but even that like oh god that reminds me of one of my favorite jokes ever chelsea pretty is like you know i you you feel so embarrassed eating a banana when like men see you because it's so sexual like it's just sometimes it's just like you just feel like people are looking at you like you're sexual so i like to eat a banana and she smushes it between her fingers and like eats it like she's

like going down on a vagina so she's like i do it this way so it's not sexual she's like it's so funny but um i'm not good at at being like i'll just i mean there's certain things that i do that i know I'm being sexy when I'm trying to attract someone that I like where I'll, I'll do things, but it's nothing that I can't keep up. They're like natural things that I'm drawn to do because someone near me is someone I want inside me at some point.

Of course, you don't walk in a certain way where you're going to have to be stuck. That's the hard thing is one day you have to be stuck to that walk forever. You know, that hot walk with the shoulders back, your t up well i have learned oh that's a hack that i can share with my listeners um everyone who wants to have better posture i didn't learn this until my um hair or my stylist on the show her name is julie without an e at the end she taught me that

if you put your hands up in the air, like both your arms up in the air straight next to your, so you're next to your, um, you know, ears, and then you lower them back down to normal position. That's how your alignment is supposed to, that's how your back is supposed to be. So it doesn't feel forced. You get into that position with your hands up by your ears, everyone do it that can, and then now lower them. And that's supposed to be your posture. So it doesn't feel awkward. You know, when you correct your posture, you just feel like an erect penis. You're just like, this isn't natural.

Now that feels natural. No, I just saw you do it, and it looked amazing. I feel like a lot of cars just crashed. And it didn't look fake, like you were trying to stick out your tits or something. Yeah, a lot of cars just creamed up. Well, we just lost a lot of listeners, and that's because they died driving off of bridges. But they looked great while they were flying. Yeah, you guys had great posture right before you died um hold on i want

to say though the other day i had to do like a sultry i had to do an intro to the show we're making yeah and i had to walk down the beach and just do it's just it was a drone shot of me just walking and i was trying to walk sexy because and powerful like i'm the host of the show like this is intro to the show. I learned from Gleb, my Dancing with the Stars partner, Gleb Shevchenko, that to walk sexy, start with your toe

pointed and then put your foot down. Walk with the ball of your foot first and then put your heel down. That is a way to look sexy when you're walking without really trying. That's hard and sand. It was hard and sand and sand i'm not kidding it was on the beach yeah yeah it wasn't easy and i looked back you took video of me and i looked back and i go actually i did a pretty good job you look great on camera thanks man the cameras we have you know what yeah they're still you look

amazing they're you know half a million dollars for each of these cameras and there's like 20 of them on the show it's amazing you know what's you know what is the drone you should always have a drone fall it's like the modern day when a girl back in day we had a dragon you know like it's like the girl from dragons existed i'm confused no like from game of thrones she had her own little dragon day yeah back in the day like when when a couple seasons ago when i think you think that the in medieval times dragons were a thing like actually existed so okay well that's incorrect but that's okay do you think t-rexes were real yes add some wings all right good point all right let's get into the news here we go here we go news boy Coming up You heard it here first

Yeah you heard it here first I love it Yeah you heard it here first Yeah I heard it here first You know where you heard it Here first I know I thought you were just Going to say here and then I was

Going to finish with first. Here first. Here first. All right. Big stories today, guys. I hope you're having fun out there. All right. No newscaster says that before they start.

Big stories today. I hope you're having fun out there. Yep. Here we go, folks. Okay. eHarmony. We all know it. Study shows that men give a thumbs up to

their sex lives in a pandemic while most women reported that there was no boost to their sex life satisfaction wow interesting now this doesn't mean more partners this means like their actual yeah like the sex they're having the p the women this is heterosexual sex by the way so the mate or maybe they pulled gay men as well it looks like they went with hetero okay so heterosexual relationships the men are no complaints and the women not not satisfied yeah 71 of women said their sex life in the pandemic i mean what i'm sorry but this is not of you listening, I know there's many generous lovers out there in our male audience. I have so many emotionally, like,

intelligent and empathetic men who want to please their women. But I just have to say, this isn't a mystery. Women don't... Women... It doesn't mean that we don't enjoy sex if we don't orgasm, because sometimes I don't need to orgasm to enjoy sex.

Like last night I masturbated, did not have an orgasm. But then I go, you know what? That wasn't like frustrating. I enjoyed the whole thing. And guess what? Now I'm going to be all like ramped up today because I didn't get a release. So there's nothing bad about it. So it doesn't mean we don't enjoy it just because the woman doesn't cum.

It doesn't mean a woman has to orgasm every time. I hate that kind of narrative of like, if didn't orgasm you're good you should go kill yourself it's like we still we because sometimes guys try too hard and it's like i don't want to it's not going to happen i'm on this medication that is making it very difficult to do it and now my vagina just hurts so it's so true and i've been told i've been given that note where it's not happening so i'll i'll just eat faster yeah or i'll like finger faster and they're like don't forget the peas huh yeah you gotta eat the peas you like suck a pea out of her asshole hey daddy would be proud um 45 45 of men said they were we, this is a weird stat.

We're having sex more frequently compared to 29% of women. I don't know how that adds up. Yeah, that is interesting. But, you know, well, I'm guessing that women are blacked out during it. They just like,

not blacked out in terms of alcohol, but possibly, I mean, a lot of women get drunk so that they can like get themselves to be horned up enough to sleep with someone who they loathe having to be around all the time. And I'm not saying that's the right thing to do, but I think women do it. Men probably do it, too.

So maybe they don't remember it or maybe they're just like it's just so the sex is so blah that they're not even like thinking that they're having more of it. You know, yeah. Sex could be forgettable without blacking out. You could just be like, oh, we fucked tuesday i don't remember i was still watching netflix while you were going down on me i mean that's kind of ideal the i just would be your if a guy was going down on you while you were watching veep would you lose your mind i couldn't focus because it would if i was watching veep like a scene with dan from veep which for those of you who want to know, the character Dan in Veep,

who is a wretched human being, who's Noah's boyfriend or Noah's fiance, producer Noah's fiance, was in a scene with Dan from the first season of Veep. He is in a heavy metal band that got hired to play for one of the scenes. I think it's season one, Dan and Jonah go to a concert and Avi, your fiance,

is in a scene with Dan who's in the audience. But Dan's character, yeah, I've watched those scenes where he's sweet to Amy to get into. You mean for three seconds? For porn.

Once every 40 shows. No, I watched that scene. I watch, because I've been trying to get into more porn that isn't porn you know porn porn and the scene from the departed when leonardo caprio comes and visits visits the woman that he's not supposed to be dating because she's his therapist and he kind of like crashes on her she's

about to move in with her boyfriend oh when they fuck in the kitchen they don't fuck in the kitchen they start making out in the kitchen i haven't memorized if you want to hear it he shows up please do and he's like um it's raining and he goes i'm sorry and she goes no it memorized if you want to hear it. He shows up. Yeah, please do. And he's like, it's raining. And he goes, I'm sorry. And she goes, no, it's fine. You're not a client anymore. And she kind of like poses in a sexual way. And there was already sexual tension before with them, like during sessions.

And then he goes, is this you? And there's a picture. And she goes, that's me. And he goes, I can tell. And he puts a picture on the wall of her as a child. And then he goes, you don't have any cats. Or no, no. Then the teapot starts like like screaming and then it cuts to them in the kitchen it's such a great cut cuts them in the kitchen with this sexual tension and then he's like um so you're moving in with

your boyfriend or something like that and she's like yeah i mean it just gets to a point where you just you know you you gotta do it or you just you just and he goes you just what like he's just calling her on it. I'm kind of fucking it up. But then he goes, it's so good. She goes, your vulnerability is really freaking me out right now. And he, and he looks at her and he's across the kitchen and he's like holding the sides of the door, like the pain. And she's like a good seven feet away, like on the other side of the kitchen. And she goes, is it real? And he just like looks at the floor and he goes and he nods like yeah and she's just like and then he goes you don't have any cats and she's like she kind of like yeah no and he's like i like that and then it goes to and then it just cuts to then

there's like such a attraction and then it cuts to her on like sitting you can see she's sitting up on the counter and then he just goes in to kiss her and then she cuts to her on like sitting you can see she's sitting up on the counter and then he just goes in to kiss her and then she grabs it and they like almost hit the cabinets and then it goes to the back it's the hottest scene and it's literally one minute and 40 seconds long and it's overdubbed in like spanish and um uh van morse there's like a cover of you are that that pink floyd song okay oh yeah yeah yeah yeah on the horizon comfortably numb That Pink Floyd song. Okay. Oh, yeah. Smoke on the horizon.

Comfortably numb. And it's Van Morrison, I think. No, no. It's a Van Morrison cover. Oh, Van Morrison cover. And it's so fucking hot. And I've been watching that. And I also watched the scene from The Office where Jim confesses his love to Pam.

And then they kiss in The Office. It's so hot. So you want a bad boy or at least an equivalent to a bad boy finally to go. No, Jim wasn't a bad boy. I want what I love. And please send me clips because I was looking for some more clips. I'm out of them because I don't watch enough things. I want clips of shows where there's like sexual tension and they shouldn't be together

and then they finally like can't they have to give into it also Leonardo DiCaprio and catch me if you can when the girl gets braces and then she's like they finally kiss that stuff is so hot to me I love it so please send that into the Nikki Glaser podcast at gmail.com you can

email us now if you have any suggestions for new porn for me to watch i mean what is it that's so attractive and i know jim doesn't fall into that category but the other ones do fall into kind of like they're a little mean and then they showed his vulnerability it was it wasn't about mean for me that it wasn't no no but i'm asking though you're right though i'm into dan though yeah you're into dan and leonardo di caprio was kind of uh edgy in that movie i mean he wasn't clean cut my point is is though like you know we see it where a guy will be like i'm

finally letting down my walls and man i you know it's so hard for me to share but with you because you think you're special i know but why can't girls see through that bullshit because it's sometimes it's not in that departed scenearted scene, it wasn't bullshit. In the scene with Dan and, you know, what's her name? And Amy and Veep, that was bullshit. But like a lot of times it is bullshit. But when it's not, it's like a very intoxicating feeling to be so special. And so women want to feel like they are different than other women.

That the man is into them and so into them they can't help themselves. We want to feel so overwhelmingly desired and special. If you are able to make a woman feel that way, you're golden. My point is, though, if you don't make a woman feel special for the first 95% of the relationship, and then all of a sudden, because she's so amazing, oh, I could finally be a nice guy. I get it.

But if it's sincere... As opposed to a guy being nice the whole time treating you special and you don't realize it. That can also work. That can also work. But I'm saying I can't... You can't help the...

You like people that are hard to get to. I know. I'm just asking because I think it happens a lot. Yeah, no. No, women shouldn't put up with a guy who is abusive to them to. I know. I'm just asking because I think it happens a lot. Yeah, no. Women shouldn't put up with a guy who is abusive to them ever, but if a guy is closed off and scared to get emotionally connected and you somehow break

down those walls and start the process with him where he's not going to change overnight, but where he's willing to start going to therapy, talking about his feelings, and shows effort to change because he wants to be with you and he realizes that's something that he's going to need to do to be with you that's great if you're dealing with a guy who has no intention and puts no effort towards changing

and you need him to change get the fuck out of there now ladies he has to show effort to change he doesn't have to change but he has to show effort and if he doesn't you need to give him an ultimatum and say if you don't show effort i'm leaving and that is a shout out to like so many of my friends so i guess what i'm i guess what i guess the realization that i'm getting from you is that don't just go off a guy that goes oh you broke down my walls and then the next day he's the same piece of shit there has to be more effort than just yeah you there has to be a plan for him to get his stuff together and not just break down as well as one time when he got a little too drunk with you and he told you about the time that is,

you know, uh, he was molested and I'm not making, I'm not doing a joke. If a guy confesses to you, something like that, go, Oh my God,

thank you so much for sharing that with me. I'm so glad you're talking about it, but go talk to a professional without me because you know that this is something that in order for us to work and for you to be happy, you need to deal with on your own, right? Yes. Beautiful. Also at the end of this story, before we get to the next one, 58% of the people report that their relationship grew stronger in the wake of the virus. So spending more time with your loved one where you have to quarantine and be in each other's face. I would assume the other 42% live in a smaller apartment.

Like 58% of you have a three-bedroom house. That's hilarious. I mean, I don't know about that. Do you think? No, no. I'm just fucking around. But I do think that it's- That's great to hear, though.

You said 42%? No, no, no, I'm just fucking around. But I do think that it's- That's great to hear though. You said 42%? No, no, no, no. 58% of people said their relationship grew stronger. Well, maybe that tells us something about the fact that we aren't spending enough, like maybe more time together is something that will help a relationship that is strained.

So that could be, I don't know, that's interesting. But I mean mean all of those stats are fascinating to me that men report better sex lives than women you know we learned a lot in this little segment i think already let's get to the next news story next news story folks i hope you're still having a great time uh casual sex is on the decline for both young men and women as study finds alcohol video games and living with parents the contributing factors also the pandemic of course why is alcohol a contributing factor to decline people are drinking and they're like 20 so they're not fucking when they're drunk well we just heard

the other day from yesterday that women are drinking more and i think that's women that are already in relationships and they're miserable or they're single and they're just like i can't go out and meet someone new but yeah young people are understanding are smarter than us and they're miserable or they're single and they're just like, I can't go out and meet someone new. But yeah, young people are smarter than us and they're realizing that drinking isn't that great and can lead to terrible stuff down the road and with your relationships and with your children and everything, even if it's casual. So I think that, yeah, young people are cutting down on those things, even though young people are supposed to be stupider. They're not. A lot of times they're not and um so they're drinking less less sex yeah less sex they're playing more video games which you know

video games we're kind of in denial about it but but it's bigger than sports like video games is fortnite call of duty i you know it's almost become every video i see on tiktok of a girl just waiting in a living room like sad waiting for their boyfriend to get off call of duty where he's just talking shit to his friends just to spend five minutes with her like there'll be like videos where the girl will get on the guy's lap and he'll play the video game over her right well that's not the guy's fault that is the girl's fault 100 sorry girls out there who have had boyfriends like that you have a choice to not put up with that and to not do that and to not be with someone that does that i mean honestly and i'm not saying like this does not go to you know guys that hit you that's your choice to stay with them that's a different

complexity but like if you're with a guy who plays fortnight and you're like he ignores me get the fuck out of that relationship or tell him if you don't start making time for me i'm going to leave you i'm trying not to turn this into a relationship podcast because i don't know what the fuck i'm not in a relationship um so i shouldn't be giving out advice but these these things of like these poor women the guys play video games like it's it's about us having enough self-esteem and that's you know not not something that always you can i'm not making no one's a victim here everyone has has a chance to anyway what i'm saying is i think you're just being like video games too but i mean june rafael june diane rafael who is uh paul sheer's wife she's also on how did

this get made she's a great comic actress she put out a instagram the other day like one of those reels on instagram that was like um it was just a bunch of moments of her cringing going like oh like different scenes of her just like looking and then going like ah like memorizing something and it said all the times I remember I used to watch boys play video games and it was like her as an adult looking back on her life of like it was so funny I think Schumer reposted it and that's how i saw it but it was a great thing so yeah i mean and i read this book called um uh what was it it was the something that joe rogan recommended on his thing and i actually picked it up because uh it was it was like uh about screen time let me just look at my books real quick but it was about addictions and man video game addiction

because i'm not privy to that world i had no no idea. It is, there's rehab centers for people. I think it's a way to like deal with your anxiety or depression. You get lost in the game. Of course. You're present. Every addiction is. Time you get through the day.

Yes. You know, when you play a video game, time goes extremely fast. Yes. But yeah, also living at home, I mean, obviously it's harder to fuck. It's like any addiction. If your parents are in the

room next door yeah i learned that as well not that i don't think i don't think it would have like changed my life that much to have not been with my parents in terms of my sex life but it definitely didn't help things along that um i was living with them that makes it oh it's called irresistible is the book and it's by adam alter and it's about addiction they do a whole chapter on um these uh world of warcraft they have treatment centers where guys go and to get off that game and to get away from that game because they they i mean it is like worse than heroin not to mention the games you're murdering people for three hours and then that has to get in your brain like people are like video games don't fuck with you they don't do it it's like if you're killing someone for three hours it's gotta i watch

this porn for an hour a night that's pretty brutal and like it's changed the way i look at the world like i it makes you better at video games like i'm more desensitized to nudity i'm more desensitized to saying disgusting things i'm more desensitized to nudity. I'm more desensitized to saying disgusting things. I'm more desensitized to just, you know, just this kind of graphic imagery. I can't separate that and just keep that in my bedroom at night. That comes out into my day because I'm watching it for so long. So that's why I'm, please send your clips to the Nikki Glaser podcast at gmail.com of G rated sexual tension moments that are relieved by a first kiss. That is what i'm looking

for right now for my porn consumption next story oh this one we're switching it up from sex folks i hope you're still having a great time uh cinnamon toast crunch goes viral after comedian starts a twitter thread about finding so in case you guys wait wait let me finish yes this guy found two shrimp tails in his cereal yeah i saw a bunch of things about this on twitter yesterday and i go i don't even know everyone's making memes about it i was like what the hell is going on jensen carp who is a comedian who i've worked with on he was the head writer on uh the the show i did where i you uh dropped the mic it was a rap battle show he's a rapper comedian he's married to Danielle Fishel,

who was Topanga on... No. He was married to Danielle Fishel, who's Topanga on Boy Meets World. Love Topanga. I know. And they're a hilarious couple that have a lot of content online.

But yeah, he found shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and it's his favorite cereal. And he tweeted at them just to be like, what's up? And they claimed it was clumps of uh cinnamon sugar and he goes i'm sorry these are shrimp tails and did a more close-up it's clearly shrimp tails

and he goes don't gaslight me it was a perfect example of gaslighting i thought yeah like no honey that's you think that shrimp tails that's cinnamon sugar so sweet of you but don't worry and he's like don't tell me what i'm seeing it's so funny and now he's like enemies with his favorite cereal who he has like shoes that have cinnamon toast crunch on them that's how much he loves cinnamon toast crunch also they like got like the last thing a company wants is like a clever writer that always writes on twitter anyways to find shrimp tails like if i found shrimp tails i would would eat around them. You know what I mean? I would be like, oh, wow, this is a cool addition.

And he's a hypochondriac, so he's constantly worried about things he's consuming, so he's actually scared he's getting sick. Then he found rat poop, or what he suspects to be rat poop. He took this cinnamon toast crutch to Quest Diagnostics to have it tested, so he's going to actually find out and confirm that they're shrimp tails, and that it's possibly rat

poop. I just love seeing the guy that's packing these eating shrimp will you tell me one of the things that he read that was so funny factory though like you eat a sandwich this guy's eating shrimp cocktail and just threw the tail like who is this highbrow? What is he, having lobster the next day? Fucking shrimp tails, dude. They're going to find escargot in the next ones. Pate. All right.

What was the thing he said that we laughed so much at when he wrote back at them? Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Wow. You sent me up there. It's not in the words here. When I tell you to write things down, write them down. Yeah, I apologize. That's all right.

I apologize. We can pull, who cares? It doesn't matter. He was hilarious back at them. You should go and read the conversation between him and Cinnamon Toast Crunch on Twitter to go see it. Okay, so let's get to why do I care? Yeah, why do we care? What headline do you have for why I should care?

So Justin Bieber says he won't tattoo his hands. Okay. Why do we care what headline do you have for why i should care so justin bieber says he won't tattoo his hands okay why do we care um because a person that has formally shown no constraint of what he could do in terms of body modification um i guess he hasn't done his face though either no he has had a tattoo on his face He has a very small Kind of like a teardrop thing underneath his eye Wow but he won't do his hands He won't do his hands

That's where he draws the line Something about it just being able to wear a suit And not having tattoos on my hand Okay so he wants to wear a suit and not have any But he still has that face thing So I don't know I get the hand thing because it's something that You want to keep one thing sacred it just annoys me when hayley doesn't want any tattoos inside her yeah well he has tattoos all over his penis no he doesn't yeah

no way yeah he has believe and then it becomes believer when he gets hard. Actually, no, but I just can't stand celebrities that get to such a high fame where any little bit of statement of vulnerability gets like, oh, whoa, he's so brave. No one's saying that.

Yeah, they are. Who cares that he doesn't get a tattoo? Oh, wow, thank you, Justin Bieber. But I mean, it's just you think who cares that he doesn't get a tattoo? Oh, wow. Thank you, Justin Bieber. But I mean, like, it's just, it's just, you know who cares? We do because we're talking about it. It's an interesting thing. But like, you get so mad about like guys who show, there's something in you that gets really irritated when a guy, like, I don't know what it is. What makes you so mad about that?

It's like the other day when Jonah Hill came out with the thing where his shirt was off great for him but we were just like oh my god he went like we just like that was different he was making yeah that one's probably a little better t-shirts at the pool feel better about their bodies which i was one of those kids yesterday so yeah you were at the pool yesterday and you didn't want to go swimming because there were hot guys around and you were like, I might go in my shirt. And I was like, like a shout out to Jonah.

There were insane amount of hot guys. We can't talk about it. I know there were lots of hot guys and you wanted to go swimming, but you were too insecure. God, I want to get into that so bad, but maybe we'll save it for the final. We got to move on.

Yeah. Well, one more thing. No, no, that's it. I can't even bring it up on here. All right.

So now it's time for a new segment we'd like to introduce called, Is It Textual? This is where we take a text message or some kind of form of text communication that either you or I have been having with someone that might, it might be sexual,

but we can't get a read on it. And this is where I would like to ask you as our listener, if you ever want us to decipher your texts in an anonymous way and tell you whether or not the person's into you or what's going on, please send us your screenshots to the Nikki Glaser podcast at gmail.com. And we will tell you whether or not we think there's a future there for you guys. So to start out for this segment of, is this textual? I wanted to share one of my own story of sliding into DMs

because it's something that I have always been hesitant to do because of fear of being rejected and just a lot of things. But I will say that in watching this season of The Bachelor, this past season that just wrapped up last Monday, I developed an attraction to Matt James, The Bachelor, that I didn't have, I mean, he's definitely hot and was like just gorgeous upon just looking at him and would be someone I'd be into. But, you know, in

the beginning of the show, I wasn't that't that into him like just like in terms of his conversations with women i was like i don't know that we'd have a lot to talk about like you know i these shows yeah he's there looking for love and he's gonna end up with someone at the end but there's all in the history of bachelor there's only in bachelor there's only two people that are like still with the person so i'm always looking at these people as someone who has a blue check mark can probably meet them at some point if i slide into their dms a blue check mark stands out and i'm not saying that as a braggy way i just want to explain to you guys that like that just means they're first of all verified that they're a real person and it means they might be in the business and i like people in the

business because that means that they're not going to be that impressed by what i do it's not going to they're not gonna put me on this pedestal. And they might be someone I'm able to research before meeting up with them so that I can get to know them because I'm scared of intimacy and I don't like first dates. And I like to already like someone before I engage in a first date.

Things to know about me. So Matt James, this bachelor I'm watching, when I watch the show, I oftentimes am like, I could possibly date this person down the road. Who knows? Can I interject for one second? Please. I feel like I could possibly date this person down the road who knows so can I can I interject for one second I feel like you really started to get turned on by him when we saw him on Andy Cohen's

show and he showed how personable he actually is outside of the show yes that's it and with the beard yeah we were watching watch what happens live one night and he was on with this big beard and I remember the tv was muted so I was like, whatever he's exuding right now, it's some fucking sexy shit, and then we turned it on. He was really funny and just having a good time and taking all these weird questions, and he asked him if he and his friend Tyler Cameron

blow each other, and Matt took it in stride and was playful with it instead of being like, I just liked his demeanor on that show. It's just real. Anyway, I DMed Matt James. I want to admit it. with it instead of being like i just liked his demeanor on that show it's just real anyway i dm'd matt james um i want to admit it i slid into matt james's dms i have only done that once before with eminem i think so what made me slide into matt james's dms was the episode a couple weeks ago where his dad who he had been estranged from and whose dad his dad like kind of left his family

very young came back on the show and they had like a heart to heart and the way he handled it and what he had went through on camera, it was awesome. And I thought it was really brave and just sweet. And he, he was really vulnerable and it was fucking hot to me. But I also came from a point of like, I just wanted his dad with his eyes open.

That was something. Yeah. Matt James notor his dad with his eyes open that was something yeah Matt James uh notoriously kisses with his eyes open you guys which I don't mind because my eyes are shut so what I don't care what you looking at my closed eyes um so I wrote to him I am so happy for you about your dad congrats that was beautiful and that was on March 8th and he did not and then so I was telling someone this and I go but he didn't read it and someone goes. And he did not. And then, so I was telling someone this and I go, but he didn't read it. And someone goes, Nikki. Yes,

he did. He just didn't accept it. And I was like, Oh my God, you're so right. Cause I go, cause then, then you said,

but this guy's getting flooded with DMS. Nikki. I mean, he's on the batch. Yeah. And especially that night when he reunited with his dad, he's getting so many. And I go, Andrew, how many followers does matt james have probably let me say 700 000

i'm close to 1 million i'm not too far away from 1 million it doesn't matter when i'm on something huge where i'm getting flooded with stuff which i it's never been on the level of bachelor but yes blue check mark you see a blue check. Even when you're getting flooded, you see them and you go to them first. They, they stand out to you like your own name being shouted in a crowd. Like they, they just catch your eye. He definitely saw it. He definitely ignored it. And that's okay because I put nothing on the line flirtatiously.

And that is the scariest thing for me to do is to slide into a DM with something that isn't, that is sexual. That wasn't a lie. That wasn't me trying to like sneakily flirt i mean a little bit but i would have sent it even if i knew he was married or no i wouldn't have done it then well maybe it would have been appropriate even if he was married there could have been like you know i mean me getting slid into on a tuesday night as nothing on matt j, obviously. She could have wrote I had diarrhea two hours ago. As a woman sliding, you don't want to be overly sexual like some

men. Yes, but I'm just saying you're competing. You're a very good looking woman. You're famous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. I'm not trying to make you feel weird. You're so hot. Sorry if that's making you feel weird, but God, are you fucking gorgeous.

Now this is just feeling mean. Oh, yeah. Jesus. No, my point is that you're competing. This is starting to sound sexual. Yeah, this is, yeah. This part is the sexual part. Yeah, but it was almost sarcastic when he was like,

oh, you're so hot. I'm like, okay, well, why is that funny? No, no, no. The first two were real, and then i kept leaning into how hot you are um so no but you're competing against millions not millions but you're competing against 250 other blue check marks okay but still 250 blue check marks aren't a hard thing to sift through when you're matt james sitting at home agreed agreed i'm agreeing with your wounds

i'm just saying that you that a follow-up text maybe a week later wouldn't have been bad where you're like, No way. No way it's over. No way. Why is it over after one?

Well, I tagged him in a story and he could have seen that too. What's that? I tagged him in a story after that and he could have seen that too and there was no attempt. So I'm not,

I lost no face in doing this but I just want to say I did lose face when I said, but he didn't read it yet. My friend goes, yes, he did. He just didn't accept it. And I go, you're right.

You're right. That is a rejection. But reading your thing, it did not come off sexual. That's all I'm saying. It slid in to open the conversation between him to let him know like, hey, I see you. Maybe next time lead with those big old secret tits. Oh my God. don't do that same

um next time just yeah i do have secret big tits about and especially two days out of the month they're they're a lot big i have to like change no what do you have to change bra sizes when you're like about to start your period or on your period do your boobs get like they do substantially better achy do they get bigger yeah like like fuller and just more sensitive and firmer yes is that where the blood goes before it comes out what do you mean blood doesn't come out of your vagina oh your nipples oh it like no no no you don't no, you don't. No, no, it doesn't. That's not science. Well, it's science, but it's bad science. Yeah.

Speaking of tits, let's get into our final thought. Uh, back to you at the pool yesterday. We were at a pool on location and Andrew, uh, is a, is writing for me on the show.

And so you were there after we had, after I had wrapped, um, we were just hanging out because all our friends work on this show. And so you were there after we had, after I had wrapped, um, we were just hanging out because all our friends work on this show. So we were still hanging out at work and you were like wanting to, you had just puked. You wanted to go in the pool after you felt better. I told them about that at the top of the show.

Oh, cool. And you wanted to go in the pool, but you couldn't because they were hot guys. It was, it just wasn't the time to go in the pool. But yes, even if it was. If you had the body of one of those guys, would you have gone in the pool?

I would never be out of a pool. I would be a pool. No, the other day I had to go in a swimsuit in front of, because I wanted to have some fun in front of girls that looked like the best in swimsuits that you could possibly look and i mean i had to face that fear and my spray tan was falling off so it looked like i had vitiligo shout out to um some family members who have vitiligo i felt like i was repping them because my spray tan literally was patching off so i looked like that model winnie harlow that has

you know different patches of skin that like it's i didn't and and i definitely am fatter than those not fat but i'm like have more pudge than those girls my body is not toned as those girls i'm 10 years older than the hot girls and i was able to be in a swimsuit around people who i you know might be judging my body i took my shirt off then i mean that was a different circumstance hot guys were not there but the hot girls were yeah that doesn't matter i. I mean, if there are hot guys around and I'm the only girl that is in a bathing suit, then guys just kind of don't care. They're not judging your body that harshly.

I feel like guys judge other guys. At least when I grew up, dude. No, other guys, yes. And girls judge other girls. But I'm saying there were no guys there to judge your body. So I'm not giving you credit for taking off your shirt. I don't know how much description i could give but there were everyone was at that at the place then it was just no one else was in the pool it was just very yeah

everyone's it would have been a but that being said if all things were like there were 20 other guys in the pool i would still feel a little uncomfortable about it because, you know, I just, I'm not, I'm 40 years old. I'm not where I want to be body wise. I do feel like. What's the worst that could happen though? Like, I understand your fear because I have it too. If there were other girls and if there were other girls present and guys that were judging

my body, I wouldn't want to get in a swimsuit either, even though I probably would. But like, what's, what's the worst? Let's follow that fear. Yeah. I just want to follow it for a second. So if, let's say everyone's jumping in the pool. Everyone has the hottest bodies.

There's like 20 guys that have the hottest bodies in, in the world. And there's 20 girls with the hottest bodies in the world. And then there's you who everyone gets along with and kind of knows and accepts as a part of this team. And it's you there too. And you don't have the hottest accepts as a part of this team. And it's you there, too. And you don't have the hottest buddy that you want. What's going to happen?

Let's just, like, follow that out. Because maybe the fear is real. But let's just examine it. I think they all kicked the shit out of me. Be honest. No, I know. I'm just having fun. But I'm trying to be honest.

We only have a couple minutes. Okay, fine. I'll be honest. I think literally nothing would happen. But what's your biggest fear? If anything, I would feel more comfortable the next time. But what's your biggest fear? If anything, I would feel more comfortable the next time. But what's the fear there? What's the biggest fear, though, that prevents you from taking off your shirt?

Just that they think I'm ugly. Okay, so they think you're ugly, and then what is going to happen with that? I really want to follow it. No, I know. I'm trying to explain it, but you go very fast while I'm trying to think. So then what happens? Then I get sad, and I get depressed. Okay, but you don't, but why?

Because I'm not as attractive as them. Because they think you're ugly or because what they think becomes a fact and then if you're not as attractive as them, that means, what does that mean? That I'm not as good as them. Okay, what do you mean not as good as them okay what do you mean not as good as them that i'm just i don't work as hard as them for i don't eat as much protein i don't know i don't and then women don't like me as much and then maybe they don't like me as much because they see me as a uh as not an equal or that so if they don't like you as much and the women don't like you as much what what's the

fallout from that the fallout from that i mean really at the end of the day nothing i mean no no there is a fallout because these are all fears that you have depression so maybe later that night when i'm always can i just talk through mine so we can understand what i'm doing here so if i get into a pool and i'm not going to take off my shirt because i feel legit fat and pale and disgusting and there's all these tan hot models with tight bodies in swimsuits that are cuter than mine and everything like that. And I want to get in the pool. It's a hot day and I'm dying to go in the pool. The reason I don't is because I'm scared that they're going

to look at me and go, wow, Nikki Glaser doesn't work out enough. She doesn't eat right. When I get to be her age, I'm going to be so much hotter. The guys will look at me and say, wow, I'd rather fuck that girl instead of Nikki Glaser. Okay. So I'm unfuckable. What does that mean? If I'm unfuckable, that means that no one wants to stick their penis in me. What does it mean if no guys want to stick their penis in me? It means that I might not be able to find someone to spend my life with. What does that mean? Oh, it means that probably I'm unlovable and I'm going to be alone forever. If I'm alone together, what does that mean to be alone forever if I'm alone together what does that mean what could happen if I'm alone I'll be lonely I won't have anyone to talk to I won't have

anyone to communicate with I will die alone I will be um I'm undeserving of so what it comes down to is feeling like you're undeserving of love is a fear of being unlovable i mean i was gonna get there eventually but you go it makes me depressed yeah but i think why does it make you but you try to i feel like sometimes when you ask me questions you want me to get to where where your head is at and i'm trying to get you there but you avoid it you go i'm just depressed and it's like okay well yeah but then you getting upset at me it makes me feel like me being naked in a pool okay now we're back at square one let me give you because both of you reach a certain point and then one of you like goes in one direction and then the other

one goes in other i think andrew's insecurity lies in his work ethic and nikki your insecurity lies in the unlovable but what is having a bad work ethic mean what's the fear there if you have a bad work ethic what does it lead to i think for like and again this is like probably like male energy as the provider and all of that andrew feels an insecurity in that which is fine i think a lot of men go through that and nikki since you're more like the emotional feminine energy even though i know sometimes you say you're the masculine energy you your yours is rooted more in like emotion and love so I feel like it makes me unlovable emotionally and my emotions won't be

supported by a man if I'm not fuckable and Andrew feels like if he is not fuckable then he will be deemed as lazy and not achieving enough and not providing and therefore will not get the love he deserves from a woman who needs to be provided for i don't know if if for andrew it boils down to like relationships and finding love i think for him it's more about achieving financial security honestly it's just like it's growing up where i would be in a locker room and i would feel uh i i would I've been around these kind of people my whole life. And you're in the shower and you just don't feel as adequate as like these other guys. You don't, and it really like, I'm not thinking, and there is a little bit about like.

But that's why I'm playing a game of like, but what does that mean? Like what's the real fear underneath that? Because it's like, there's, you're not going to die from someone thinking you look fat. You're never going to die from that. What I'm saying though is like, sometimes my brain doesn't work like yours i feel like your brain goes to get you to there because it does work like that there's an underlining fear that is that you're not talking about i'm trying to get you there and i'm not i'm not skilled at getting you there so we'll work on it no but i feel like sometimes the overlying fear is that a word i get that but i'm saying how you

how we try to get there. You're like, well, and then what it says. And then my brain is still trying to compute it because I don't think like that. I think, I think I look ugly compared to this guy. That's it. That's where my brain,

that's where my brain, but it doesn't have to end there. And there's gentle ways of getting you there. I wasn't gentle enough, but I'm saying it's not about that. It never is about, Oh, it made me feel fat first of all no one can

make you feel a way you being fat does not say anything about who who you really what does it say about you besides the physical part and I like to examine that because I stop there a lot of times that like I'm just fat I'm lazy and it's not that what does that mean to you why do you not want to be fat and lazy what does that mean fundamentally what fear does that um re uh what's the word like reinforce in you and that's what i'm trying to get at because it's not about not taking your shirt off at the pool it's about something deeper maybe jonah hill was right i think it's hard for people to talk about that who don't do therapy with a psychologist because it's it's really hard to talk about yourself it is a skill that you learn and you know not to admonish anyone who's not in therapy but

it is like that is a part of the helpful part of therapy you're able that's all therapy is figure out when things kick you off or make you mad or make you upset you get to examine them and find out what it's really about instead of this like my phone broke it's you're not throat punching a wall because your phone broke it's because your dad didn't love you enough sure and and people are like well why do i need to learn that my dad's dead i can't repair that yes you can yes yeah but i think going back to that i don't think i think I said, because I grew up with people, it's the same shit. Like that is thinking through it and understanding.

You can keep going. I know, but can I finish? It's understanding my history and how it affected me back then. And that's why it's probably still within my core now. Yes. I do think I am better about that and caring about that and more confident in myself

than I've ever been. I agree with you. You don't have to get defensive. All I'm saying is that even when you were a child and that fear started, it wasn't about that then. It wasn't about that.

So whether or not these are things repeating throughout your life that are the same circumstance, even when it started, that circumstance of feeling insecure with your shirt off in front of the guys in the locker room that that fear of feeling worthless in front of those guys comes from somewhere else and once you remedy that which is very difficult to do and i'm

not able to do it shirtless in preschool with other guys it could have been that it could have gone all the way back to that it could to that you being born being born in the hospital not looking as hot as the doctors in the little when they look through the window and I was with those other those babies were comparing yourself to other babies they were so thin because they were premature

it was fucking premature they made you feel so fat all right guys we've been through a lot today write into the show only positive things please. If you want to write something negative to the show just I would ask you just to stop listening to the show instead. That would be better. Because I really negative

comments I don't I don't even want to have them anymore about art that I'm like examining like things that I hate. We watched a movie last night that I absolutely hated and I'm not even going to talk about it because what I can do is just not watch it. And I tried to do that but Andrew kept wanting to watch it. We'll talk about it because what I can do is just not watch it and that I tried to do that but Andrew kept wanting to watch it. We'll talk about it tomorrow in the show and then I will shit talk. Please don't

have a negative comment about me watching it. Alright guys, we'll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for listening to the show. As always, subscribe, rate, and review. And a word at the end here. And we'll come up with a catchphrase soon and we'll come up with a thing to call you guys. Thank you for all your submissions on that. We'll keep taking them.

The Nikki Glaser podcast at gmail.com. See you then. Bye. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt.

And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show, Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. You are cordially invited to... the hottest party in professional sports. I'm Tisha Allen, former golf professional and the host of Welcome to the Party, your newest obsession about the wonderful world that is women's golf. Featuring interviews with top players on tour, tips to help improve your swing, and the craziest stories to come out of your friendly neighborhood country club. Welcome to the Party with Tisha Allen is an iHeart woman's sports production in partnership

with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Welcome to the Party, that's P-A-R-T-E-E, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.