The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #302 Have, Enjoy.

Episode Date: December 15, 2022

Nikki is joined by her BFF Anya Marina in NYC on the last day of their girl's trip. They talk about a psychic game they played, a classy hotel stay and taking over a theater to watch Can't Hardly Wait. Nikki and Anya also recap meeting Jerry Seinfeld over the weekend and getting some great feedback from him and a possible collaboration. After spoiling the end of White Lotus (don't worry there is a warning), they get to a new segment called "Old News". Noa takes Nikki back to 2013 on the set of MTV's Nikki and Sara Live for a wild moment with One Direction. In the Final Thought, Nikki and Anya encourage Besties to use mantras and share their favorite ones. ------- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina   More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki.

Hello, here I am. Welcome to the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I am podcasting from New York City in my friend Sarah Lena's house in Manhattan, Tribeca. Not going to get too much more detailed, but that's where I am. I'm joined here in this room, this guest room with me by my best friend, my former roommate, the woman who wrote this theme song. You know her, you love her. You've heard her on the podcast a billion times.

She's wearing socks that have the girl with the pearl earring on them. They are very cool. Where'd you get those? It's Anya Marina, everyone. Thank you so much. I got them from a very nice couple in Richmond, Virginia

that housed me for a house concert. Hosted me. They're really cool. I've never seen you wear something so bold. I feel like I am the girl on them i know into them a real pearl those are so cute and how does that not fall off in the laundry my tour t-shirt what'd you say is yeah how's that not falling off in the wash it's insane i don't know there might have been two pearls at one point i was watching a video this weekend noah by the way is in arizona joining us hey noah how's it going good good hi um so this weekend we had a girl's trip and we just all sent

each other noah wasn't able to go but man we missed her and she'll be on the next one but it was seven of us um saralina whose house we're at right now anya me kirsten carlisle taylor cat cat and is that it that's it oh my god so many um it was so much fun but there was this video of miss tallah oh yeah halloween miss too um of us all what we were watching the casey anthony show that we all were like on our chat talking about but we were like save it for the girls' trip. So we watched that and were all unsure of if she did it or not, even though I was positive she did. I'm pretty sure she still did,

but I do think it was an accident. We don't think she actually killed her. We think there was a pool accident. It doesn't matter. I mean, it does matter, but not for this story. And Kirsten noticed that we were all like kind of snacking and crunching around the room like we had a bunch of snacks that we got delivered and we were just all just captivated watching the show and kirsten decided to record everyone um eating and crunching and i

was watching the footage this morning because she said over you eat so slow i'm here you were eating a bag of skinny pop and this time you know those tiny little one serving guys i've never seen someone eat one piece at a time very slow and i'm like i gotta slow the fuck down when i eat like are you ever i thought that was kirsten no it was she filmed it so she wasn't in it oh i was just slowly and i was like man i gotta move slower if we all ate slower we'd probably eat less because you would have time to digest um and i sometimes watch you eat your bars and you're just like you just have like little bites and then you'll set it down and it's not like you're trying to restrict or be like i can't have it i'm just gonna have a little bit you literally just are very slow like a slow consumer

yeah i am a slow consumer but those chickpea pops that taste like fritos are like healthy oh yeah i was eating those one at a time because i was sucking off the powder like i wish there were more powder and less i used to do that with peanuts i used to eat the shell because i just wanted that i didn't like the peanut inside this was before i was even like a weird diet girl you know like this is strange just i was just a weird child that only liked the shells and i would choke violently in the stands where people would be alarmed because you're not supposed to eat them and they're so dirty they were so salty and i like the crunch and then peanuts i would be like oh get those out of here yeah they're so plain this girl's

weekend trip was amazing highlights include psychic vegan restaurant times oh yeah okay so we were supposed to have a psychic come anya like found the psychic she was supposed to come she got the date wrong we were like not a very good psychic she like didn't understand what day she was like i thought you meant wednesday and it was like very clearly sunday we're like, okay, we don't trust her with our futures if she can't handle her own present. So we didn't get a psychic, but then we were at, I really recommend doing this with a group of people. So I don't even know how this came about.

We were at a dinner, the idea for it, and Anya tore up the menu. That was like little paper menus that, you know, disposable. Tore up seven pieces. We each got a strip and then we wrote down something we wanted clarity on in our lives right we want a direction with it could be a word it could be a sentence like what should i do about something or like i just need more you know i just want guidance and then we crumpled them up and fold them up and put them in a plate and then we each picked one and then we like heldpled them up and folded them up and put them in a plate. And then we each picked one. And then we held it in our hands and switched it around and kind of just closed our eyes. And whatever vision you got, you said, like, I don't know.

I'm just sensing the word march. Like I'm sensing a tunnel. I'm seeing a volcano. Like whatever images popped into your head in that moment. And then you open it up and you see like how we could interpret what that vision you get from the energy of the paper and then we'd get like life direction at first we thought this is a ridiculous idea just to make us laugh and then we started getting freaked out by how accurate it was like you wouldn't know if the question was where will i move or you know who should i date

or should i get a bird, which was mine. And all of the answers that we were coming up with were identical. Also, you had to pick a piece of paper that spoke to you or that you felt a pull toward. And I was holding one, and I had no direction at all in my head. I'm like, I'm not going to come up with anything. And then out of nowhere, I was like, and september are coming to me and then i opened it up and i was like where should i move and when and it was like no when should i move that's what it was right so you're gonna move to march in september sorry that was a terrible like no you

but i did realize though that this is this is exactly what happens with psychics and tarot and stuff it's like it's i don't really believe this is actually guiding you, but it's like it tells you what you want to do. We really want to be guided in the direction that you want to go, but sometimes it's hard to admit to yourself what you want. And so interpreting a mysterious clue really helps you in a way that doesn't feel so self-serving tell you what you really want. So if I was to say, what am I i supposed to do i need to make a change what should

i do is like my question and then someone says march i can go oh i'm gonna move in march or it could be i'm gonna start a women's march or it's gonna be like i need to watch march of the penguins or um right uh you know you can really make anything out of, like, because I was like, should I get a bird? And Sarah Lena, for mine, had seen a tunnel and sand. And a vagina. And eyes and a vagina. And so we were like, oh, you should get a sand bird. The sand is in the forest, in the rainforest.

You need a parrot. I'm like, no, I was already planning on getting a parrot. This wasn't about, like, do I get a quail or a parrot? I'm going to get a parrot if I get a bird. We were like, tropical bird, sand. And I'm like, but you can put sand anywhere. You can just be like, a going to get a parrot. We were like tropical birds. But you can put sand anywhere. You can just be like a sandbox is at a school. You should have a child.

You know, like it really is kind of telling you what you want. But it was so fun. It just got the conversation like kind of going in a, like, you know, sometimes it's hard for people to like open up about things. I feel like girls trips for me are always ways for us all to kind of talk about what's on our mind and might, what might be like really maybe shameful or embarrassing about our situation or how clueless we all feel or how like just stuck we all feel. And then one

of us reveals it. And then the others are all like, I am either there right now and it seems like I have it all together or I've been there and it was just so helpful. And we also, Sarah Lena did the coolest surprise for us. We got into town. It was just a quick trip. We got a quick trip. We went to a gas station. And that was the highlight. We got big gulps.

Well, that's a different branding. But we got into town, went to lunch. Then we... The highlight for me was Sarah Lena had a surprise for us. She was like, it's not a big deal. Seriously, don't get excited about it. First of all, she got us... She got us...

We were going to stay at her new house that we're at right now. She has multiple floors. We could have just taken over one of the floors or whatever. She was like, I just like you know my husband's gonna be there he's gonna be on a different floor and we could totally avoid him they have like elevators here she was like but i kind of want to be away so she out of the kindness of her wallet got us a hotel stay the suite these two suites that had like adjoining rooms practically at the nicest hotel any of us have ever stayed at my mom would have had a field day on this being like look at this you might have

seen some of the footage on my instagram story of us playing with the curtains that you know you press a button and they open um shooting like taylor swift videos but and everything was very french and like feminine and you just felt like you were in paris in 1940 yes five 1953 so nice it was like the way graceland felt when we visited graceland and everything's preserved in time it's almost like 50s stuff but new and so this place is just gorgeous um shout out to the foquette if you want to look at how pricey the rooms are go look at Fouquet F-O-U-Q-E-T Fouquet I'll never Fouquet it

but we went out for the day we got foot massages from Anya as a Christmas gift it was so nice and you went back to the usual spot yes Four Seasons Foot Spa I thought it was the one by the comedy seller It was so nice. And you went back to the usual spot. Yes.

Four Seasons Foot Spa. Oh, I thought it was the one by the comedy seller. That's what it's called. It's Four Seasons. Oh, okay. I think, or like, yeah, something like that. If you ever go visiting New York, it's on 8th Street and 6th Avenue. It's called Four Seasons.

Tell them Nicky and Anya sent you. An hour-long foot massage from one of the strongest men. Or women. Or women. There's three. You just sit in a room and you lay back in a chair and you get your feet pummeled and you make orgasmic sounds and you cover your eyes just like when you cum. I realize I have the same reaction to cumming that I do that a foot massage. I get embarrassed and I have to cover my eyes.

You're also just as focused and directorial. You're like, that's good. That's actually less. No more. More to the point where you think you're hurting me. But I'm very giving with like, oh, that's so good. Oh, God, that's good. And they love it.

And they laugh so hard at my responses. So then afterwards, Sarah Lynn was like, I have a surprise. So then we go. And it's just like a cozy. I mean, it's silly. It's not a big deal. Guys, she's so good at planning surprises. she's so good at planning it's amazing so we go back to the hotel we walk in first of all one of the bellhops ruined the surprise because he's like are you guys here for the movie and we were like

oh and then sarah was like he ruined it and i'm like he ruined it 20 seconds before we would have seen it was a movie so we took took an elevator downstairs to the basement level. And there's a cinema there where they do screenings, I'm sure. This place is so nice. It opened like four months ago. We were probably the first people in this cinema. And we watch. And it has surround sound.

Surround sound for this movie that didn't even have surround sound. The kind of lounge chairs. Lounge chairs that are like beds beds that are like fainting couches and we push them all together they all fainted and we all like madeline like at an orphanage where all these little beds in a row and we get to watch can't hardly wait which was a movie that was a seminal classic for me and all my friends growing up and like informed so much of who we are and we all have such nostalgia for it and anya who like grew up in a slightly different generation just missed out on it just

enough just the way that i missed out on like heathers or uh oh yeah not another teen movie or pump up the volume or the lizzie mcguire movie like yeah reality bites you know it's just that key moment so if you graduated between if you graduated high school between 1999 and 2004 you're gonna love can't hardly wait and um but then i loved watching it with you really because you are like a cinemaphile cinephile yeah a pedophile too um you you you uh are pedophilic for cinnamon um you're a cinephile you love cinema you know like you know Tarkovsky and like I don't know a little bit Tarantino I mean I don't know you just know like good Ethan Hawke you've been steven spielberg michael bay uh michael bay and you um but you enjoyed it oh i loved it ethan ambry is so cute with those big sad eyes the soundtrack was amazing smash mouth is used

three or four times jennifer love you it's boobs are like defying gravity she's in her absolute peak everyone has yellow teeth. Yes. Everyone has normal colored teeth. Everyone has no panniers, no Botox. Everyone has like, you know, those, she's wearing that classic, you remember the shirts that were so popular that like the little spaghetti strap, but it had like a built-in bra with it too.

You know what? Yes. They sold those on delia's everyone had flyaways and he's like people would be dying right now if this was filming you're on set flyaways it's almost as if your nipple is hanging out how much of it but she has flyaways i'm like so you mean some of my hairs might be like around my who can't like right now feel my head i just did a photo shoot oh my god what disgrace. They pasted my head down because of the dead fly away. Yeah, no, your hair is perfect.

And so it was just interesting to see. And then Jennifer Love Hewitt was every guy's crush. Oh my God. And even mine. Impossible, impossibly beautiful. Like a doll come to life. Like the tiniest waist, the biggest, tiniest boobs. That movie is just so well done because the background, like everything going on in the background, there's jokes happening in the background.

You know, there's constantly people that you're seeing on screen that you're like, that's a person that's in movies now. Like it was just everyone was in it. Seth Green was so funny. And it's fun to watch with you because you remember dialogue. You probably haven't seen this movie for a few years at least. Like at least 10 or 15 years. Nikki was like calling out the phrases through the whole film. I'm like, how do you know this?

You have such an incredible memory. I have a incredible memory of something I watched literally a hundred times. It's Clueless and Can't Hardly Wait for me were my big ones. Seth Green was so cute. But at the end it was funny because I've talked about it before. I didn't kiss a boy until so late in high school. It was junior, senior year, something like that. And all my friends had kissed boys, and I just didn't know how to do it.

I thought it was going to be bad, and I studied that movie so much. The kiss at the very end where, spoiler alert, Ethan Embry and the girl kiss. And she does this thing, if you go back and watch it. Oh, yeah. And I still do it to this day. When you kiss someone, you kiss. And then a second and a half later, your eyebrows go up.

Like, oh, that was surprised me. Like, you kiss and then, oh. And it was so funny because I called it out. I go, kiss, eyebrows. And then everyone laughed because they were like, how did you know that was going to happen? I was like, I've studied this extensively. And that is how I kiss

to this day. And so then that was so fun. And then we went to dinner. And she had two bags of snacks ready for us in the theater as a surprise too. And two cases of LaCroix. It was so fun. There were no drugs. There were

no drinking. it was just all girl fun good time pajama fun I might have microdosed a little bit but I don't even think it affected me much um it was it was awesome girl time and then Anya and I were fresh from a crazy weekend of shows which is oh my god so much fun so many besties came out it was so nice to see you all we were in Waterloo New York at a casino called nice to see you all we were in waterloo new york at a casino called del lago and then we were in hershey pennsylvania which was amazing oh my god hershey was incredible and then um the final night was at the borgata in atlantic city and we're going to tell you about who i got to hang out with there which you might have already seen on my instagram

but there is quite a story that surrounds it so we'll be back right after this with that story. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed?

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap, and the dealer might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. Hey, you guys. I'm Catherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet, and I've got a new podcast it's called throttle therapy this season i'm gearing up to make history competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events starting at the indy 500 join me as i travel from racetrack to racetrack in my quest to continue a memorable career in racing i'm also going to bring you inside stories with legends of sports,

new faces from the next generation of auto racing, and conversations with the people who've supported me throughout my career. We'll be getting into everything from karting to NASCAR, even Formula One. Whether you dream about being a pro athlete or an astronaut, we're talking about what it takes to make it. Listen to Throttle Therapy with Catherine Legg, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Can you hear it? It's the whisper of two wolves inside you. One says, you're not enough. The other says, keep going. You can do this. They're always talking.

The one you listen to shapes your life. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. On my podcast, we explore how to hear the voice that matters, the one that leads you to courage, wisdom, and love. It's not about perfection. It's about direction. Millions of listeners have fed their good wolf. Now it's about direction millions of listeners have fed their good wolf now it's your turn listen to the one you feed on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts

okay we're back so um i was at the borgata in Atlantic City on Sunday? Wait, Saturday night. Saturday night. And I was doing the music box theater, which is the smaller of the two venues there at the Borgata. Jerry Seinfeld was in the other one. And I knew about that months before because I remember Chris had some friends in Atlantic City

and he was like, they're deciding between Jerry Seinfeld and you and they picked you. And I was like, oh my God, that's so nice. And then, so I remembered hearing that, but I forgot about it because I just kind of put that out of my mind because I feel like I don't want to know. I just don't want to know who's in the next room selling more tickets.

And like, also Jerry Seinfeld, I'd be like, go see him instead of me. But people actually came out to see me. Like he had tickets available and they still chose to came to see me it was so fun it was such a good show and throughout the show i even referenced that like you guys chose me tonight fuck jerry seinfeld like i was just like being joking because obviously not i love jerry seinfeld but i was like fuck jerry and i was like you know you might want to step out in there and like cleanse your palate after these like pedophile jokes, like, step into his showroom and just see what he's up to. And I'm like, what if you walk in and he's like, what's the deal with pedophiles?

I mean, they're kids. You want to have sex with a kid? Like, I was just doing kind of Jerry doing, I guess someone, I've heard someone actually do a bit of, oh, Tom Takar used to do Dirty Jerry's. Oh, that's right. So I guess I was kind of doing that but um and then and so i kept just being like who needs it you know making jokes about it but also like so reverential because i love jerry seinfeld so much and then we get off stage i do the meet and greet which is really fun aside from the guy who oh okay during the show though there was a i was doing a whole bit about um that i've been doing for years it's just a bit i've

been doing forever if you come to see me and you're like i've already seen that bit just know that it just hasn't been in a special i might have done it on the road before but all the stuff i'm doing right now has never been in a special so if you've heard a joke before it's because it's been in my act a while there's this joke that i've never found to put in a special but it's about how short guys are tend to have better personalities than tall guys and tall guys kind of like have the world given to them generally because tall you know they look like they have more power so everyone like kind of likes them and laughs at everything they say so they think they're funny all this but did that so i'm doing i do that bit

and then i move on to something else and in the middle of a bit a guy just walks to the front of the stage which does not happen ever unless you're at a comp maybe this is happening at comedy clubs and he sets a shot glass on the stage and is like offering it to me you know and i just go what do you do what what is what is what's happening over here and he's just like and i go what is that and he goes i think whiskey and i go oh sorry he doesn't know the drink but he does know the chemical compound of the pill he put inside of it he's very sure of that and i was just making and i go this what uh what uh what made you do that and i'm like i forget the jokes i was making i was pretty funny about it but um

i was like thank you so much like never again. Like, kind of under my breath. Like, being, thank you. That's really nice, actually. But you have no self-awareness. And this was a bad choice. And then I go, and also, it's just, I go, I couldn't really see him when he walked away because it's kind of far. The room was so fucking big and so full of people.

I could barely make it out. But I go, you're tall, aren't you? This is such a fucking tall guy thing to do like a confident a hot guy thing to do because just to interrupt a show and be like i'm gonna give her a shot and she's gonna be so grateful i go first of all i don't drink so thanks for your research and i've already said that on stage tonight and secondly you just interrupted my bit and it wasn wasn't like I was, you know, I'm not Bert Kreischer. Like this wasn't, it was just not the vibe. And I kind of trashed him a little bit for it.

It makes me think of like when guys like ask women to like go out with them on like a jumbotron. It's like puts them on the spot. It's so uncomfortable for the woman. Wait, ask them to go out? Like you mean get engaged? I've never said it's like we asked them to go out like you mean get engaged getting engaged or just like i would like to go out with you i like you yes or just like you know like on like a very public setting it's just so it's it it's cringe and it's this is the guy i think it is it's so checks out do you know oh because you didn't

did you witness i think i met this person at the merch table and a hundred percent i got groped yeah exactly his wife tried to chastise him in front of me i realized immediately she has the full-time job of babysitting her husband he was so annoying he kept saying he was going to carry me he said you're not going to carry me he's like i'm going to lift you up i'm going to lift i'm like you're not going to lift me up and then he like groped yes and i said no and i was like please get your hands off me i already shamed him from the stage and then at the meet and greet he asked to lift me up which i never want because even though you think i'm light i have heavy bones and you were gonna make some

kind of i don't want to be that close to you p..S. I think guys like that. It's touching me. It's a power trip. Guys. Yes. Guys like that get off at women saying no, no, no, no, no, no. That's what they want to hear. Rapist, you mean? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. He also was harassing this other couple.

I thought they were together and they were trying to take a photo with me. He's like, all right, I'm going to take the picture of you guys. Now lift her up. Lift on you up. Lift her up. I'm like, do not lift me up. And the guy's like, I'm not lifting you up don't worry carrying fetish you know like he just his poor wife i'm gonna change his name because i remember his name ask i will say and sometimes

they just like grab you i mean this hasn't happened in years i mean this was more like the wild west of comedy clubs where no one knew who you were i was an opening act they didn't respect me at all and now there's it just rarely happens but um it was nice to have besties like right behind him so that when he left they were like are you okay i'm like that's fine because i know how to kind of handle it now he just goes can i lift you up and i go no and he goes really like first of all shut i said no don't give me no one ever tells me no though i'm six four yes exactly and i go i knew you were tall as soon as up, I go, I knew the guy that brought a shot was fucking tall. And then he, no offense to any tall people listening, you're all kind and I love you.

But then he goes, then we take a picture and he kisses my side of my face, but I don't know if he's kissing me or licking it. I thought he was going to lick me because he's such a guy. Oh, I'm sorry. So he, I think he's licking my face and I make a face like, and I'm just like, get it over with. Either option is gross.

These are always the times when their cameras don't work. Right. Right. So you have to like hold it. And I know you're like, why don't you tell him get the fuck off you? I swear to God, you guys,

it is more work than to just get through with it. Like to just, because then his wife, and I was embarrassed for his wife who was very nice. Yeah. And who could, you could tell it was was just putting up with her drunk husband. She kept being like, Michael, Michael, Michael. I changed his name, but full name.

Michael, Michael. I told him, I was like, please post that because my face was so funny in it because I was so disgusted. And he was like, oh, this sucks. And I go, no, that's hilarious. You focus on my face and know that this is how most people feel when encountering you. You're going to start getting older and you're going to lose your fucking looks

and then what are you going to have? The sad part is he will never have any self-awareness about it. Even after he listens to this, he'll probably have a weird... Boner for it. Yeah, I was trying to censor myself. Yeah, half chub for this whole story. He'll be like, yes, success.

Yeah. That's the problem with sociopaths. They like it. They do like it. And he did, because if I were him and I brought a shot on stage thinking it would be a funny thing, because I've been that person before where I just don't read the room, right? And then you get a little bit shamed. I didn't shame him mercilessly because I'm grateful.

He just made it, you know, he made an error in thinking that's the right time. He's maybe would just freshly from a Bert Kreischer show where that's okay and, and actually like invited. So I wasn't, I trust him a little bit, but I was also like, thank you for coming. No big deal. Thank you for the shot. That was nice to think of, you know, but then if that happened to me, I would skip the meet and greet. Cause I would be so embarrassed that I, she knows I'm that guy, but I you apologize 10 out of 10 times when someone is an embarrassing person a guy in the crowd and does something that i i the whole crowd feels cringe for them they will come to the meet and greet and they'll be like i was the guy that did that and i go i know you are because i studied your face to use it for a sketch artist when you eventually rape me someday i would like i studied your face so i can give it to a police sketch artist um but

it's yeah it's just a certain type of person but it is a rare person anyway after the show i get done with that meet and greet i wash my hands um i cleanse my palate and i'm getting ready to sit down and eat my dinner that was delicious and i was so excited because me i had been done with three shows three meet and greets which is really six shows and just to be clear i love the meet and greets no this is over like in three days so thursday friday saturday it was just like and we drove in between each show like it was a lot of work for me anya and matt um you know my tour manager matt pond and so we were all just kind of like, and Bobby Jaycox was also who you've heard on the podcast.

He was also there. So we're all backstage. Oh, and before the show, Matt said something to me, right? About Jerry? Yeah. Yeah, he was like, would you like, Nikki, would you have any interest in meeting Jerry today? Because he's just down the way.

If you want, we can set that up. Yeah, he was like, do you want me to inquire about it? Yeah. And I was like, God, no. No, he doesn't need to meet me like i don't want to bother him like of course i would love to meet jerry seinfeld but like i have met jerry before i was um on inside amy schumer and we did a sketch called 80s ladies and at the end of it jerry comes in and we like i get to latch arms with him watch on the street i met him briefly that day it was very cold outside it was a quick shoot it was cool to be on camera with him but it wasn't we didn't have an interaction

i knew his wife from hanging out at amy's house his wife jess and amy are friends and i really love jess and we were instagram friends for a while and i we haven't talked in years but i liked her but i just i don't know i got the sense about jerry from watching comedians in cars like first of all i think I was like a little bit better like I wanted to be on that not that I should have been on that show but I wish it was still around so that when I was famous enough I could have been on it so I was always kind of like I'm almost like there were a couple comics on it that I was like I could be on this show you know and I think I was just like I want to be on the show and and from watching Comedian the documentary

and just being a huge Jerry Seinfeld fan, I thought I knew what he was like. And he's very serious about comedy. He's going to want to talk bits. I might not have any. And he's not going to be a fan of my comedy. He does clean comedy. He's very meticulous about word choice. And he has the style that I wish I could have and that I just, I don't know, I don't have the discipline or whatever.

And I just revere him. He's an advocate of transcendental meditation. He's just smart and cool. And he's the kind of comic I wish I could be in terms of work ethic and stuff and clean and accessible and all those things. And then I'm backstage about to sit down, like about to take a bite of my cauliflower.

And I'm like, ah. And bite of my cauliflower and i'm like ah and then matt comes back and is like uh nikki jerry would like to see you and i was just like okay i didn't even freak out i was like yep that's happening and i was just i knew exactly what it meant i was like i have been summoned jerry wants to meet me i just i think i might have said like he asked for me and he's like yes and so it was like go time and matt was like i think anya should go like you should have one person go with you if you want and i was like absolutely anya starts getting ready i'm like anya and i are going she's the perfect wingman for a situation where you know she's not gonna like fangirl out too

hard she's not gonna embarrass herself she like is cool around celebrities um and so she comes with me and we get walked through like the bowels of the atlantic city casino to the other side of the place where jerry has just performed and we i don't know what to expect like at all i just think he's being cordial to the other comedian performing there we had no idea but on the way there the security guard did say he never does this and he comes through atlantic city a lot and he's like he's never done this with like the other comic performing and i'm like he's like and all the times he's never done this and i was like jerry never does this i don't know jerry never does this i was like all right and so we oh my god

i'm getting goosebumps again that night we could not stop getting goosebumps it was and we're both pretty non like we're not starstruck people no like i'm pretty chill like we've met a lot of people i was nervous to meet jerry though because yeah we were both like i'm a big slack down the hall like click click click click on our high heels and you were just playing that sign called trivia game on your instagram yes i know which is so weird because the night before, one of my fans, Innocence, brought me a fun trivia card game of Seinfeld trivia and I was nailing it. And like, I would realize I'm a fucking good Seinfeld fan. Like it is, I still retain a lot of that obsessive knowledge from, you know, middle school, high school. And that show, I put it on all the time.

It still holds up. It's the the best and as you all know and so then we we get we approach and I guess it's the last dressing room and I kind of know it's his and I just hear is she here is she here and I walk in and he's already walking up to the front of the door to greet us and he is even before I get him he embraces me and he's like i i think i blacked out but he goes he says something like i am a huge fan i love you you are so funny i have watched everything you do you are so he goes and i was like i thought i literally said this to him i go are you doing an impression of what i should be saying to you like i said this to him i go are you doing an impression of what i should be saying to you like i said that to him i go this is all the same stuff i go what are you

talking about i go you're jerry seinfeld i was like you don't know what you mean to me thank you so much for everything like i love you and i started kind of tearing up because he was just saying he was like a true fan of mine. I thought they were doing a bit. I thought it was a put on. Because all I heard, I'm behind Nikki as we're entering this tiny little green room that they're all in. He's there with his two openers. And all I hear is, I love you. I love you.

I can't believe you. I love that this is happening. I love that this is happening. And I'm like, oh, this is a joke. They're just being big on purpose. And then I realized, this is happening. I love that this is happening. And I'm like, oh, this is a joke. Like, they're just being big on purpose. And then I realized, this is real. They've really truly never met like this before. And they're both freaking out.

He was, like, what was your first impression? Because I had like a couple. Hot. Yeah. He was like, he is so hot. He is hot. It's insane. He looked a lot like Chris to me.

Like, he looked like the way my boyfriend is gonna age and like i wouldn't have thought jerry seinfeld would like give this aura of like hotness like i've never like no offense so trim but he's always been cool and definitely like a catch on his show he's always like the guy that was dating like the cool girl and he's like and he has like a hot wife i mean he does well for himself there's you you i should have assumed he would be this way in person but he was like fit and had good posture but like yeah not too bulky not too thin like perfect 60 something year old man bod yeah perfect like hot silver fox great hair salt and peppery great jawline like he really did i afterwards i texted chris and i

think chris was probably rolling his eyes like you you can just say jerry's hot you don't have to compare him to me but i was like you literally yeah he did have a convi he did he was so cute and my first impression really was like i didn't know how how animated and enthusiastic and giving and like like how much he laughs and gives and is like so so upbeat so energetic like i thought he would just be like i mean this guy's been around for fucking ever he is the goat like he is he has no reason to have any enthusiasm he could be whatever he wants to be he could be very jaded um but he was like a true fan of mine and my walk away from the whole thing he invited us to sit down he goes what do you want do you want to sob do you want a drink do you want what do you want

what we have everything and he introduced us to his openers uh mario and what was the other guy's name i forget but they were so cute too they were handsome men and we just sat around and talked for like 25 minutes what do you talk to jerry sein about? And who is the one who's like guiding the conversation? Okay. So what we talked about. He first of all was like, I just want you to know, I've seen all your YouTubes.

So nice. He goes, I've seen everything you've done. I know everything about you. I've watched all of your stuff on YouTube. I know everything. Because she was at one point, she was like, so I moved back to St. Louis. He's like, oh, I already know that. He goes, because I was telling his openers

because they go, where are you from? And Mario asked. They go, where do you live? And I go, I live in St. Louis. And I looked at Jerry because usually people are shocked when they hear that I live in St. Louis. And I looked at Jerry like, it's true. And he goes, oh, I know. You think I don't know that about you? I watched all the things. Yeah, I know. I'm like,

did he? So I will say one thing that was really interesting, and this will be good to Seinfeld fans, is he was talking about, I forget how he got on the subject of it, but I said, oh, I told him, listen, I know he hears about how great Seinfeld is all day long, but I just had to tell him, I was like,

I have to say, Seinfeld made me who I am in eighth grade, which is one of the coolest things that ever happened to me. My algebra teacher, Gay King was his name. It was the best algebra teacher name for eighth graders. Gay King was his name, Mr. King. Mr. King gave me the weekend. I was supposed to take a test on Friday. And Thursday night before the test was the finale of Seinfeld.

And he knew how much it meant to me that I would not be able to study that night. So he let me take the test on Monday and I've never heard of anything like that before since. And I just felt so seen. I thought like, this is like, he knows,

like it was almost like it, no one's ever given me that kind of like leeway for even if my grandma died but this was because the seinfeld finale like he took it seriously and i don't even know if he was a seinfeld fan but i told jerry that and he goes well i'm sorry we disappointed you with the finale because the finale is classically like panned by seinfeld fans except me thank god because i've always loved the finale i thought it had to be different than a regular seinfeld episode and um and i said you know what i actually like my favorite thing about the finale was the montage and the song and he goes uh had the time of your life green day and i was like

it's the best song to choose and that is now used in so many montages i hope you had the time of your life but at the time i think it was the first one that they used that and and it made me cry it's the best montage and he was like thank you i chose that song like he was very proud of his choice of that and then he was talking about the finale and how and i go if you don't remember the sign for finale they all kind of go on trial for like making fun of this fat guy as he's like, they were like making fun of someone as he's robbed and they get on trial for like he gets robbed. It's like they're really mean and then they go on trial and they all go to jail pretty much and they're punished at the end. And he said, I regret that because I did that because everyone, I was listening to critics. I was listening to people say that these people

are bad people they're mean people they and i was like well then if everyone thinks that way about them they need their comeuppance and that's what he wanted to do with that episode was show that like it's not okay to be a bad person a selfish person and he goes but they weren't bad people i look back on it and i let critics convince me that they were bad people they weren't bad people i look back on it and i let critics convince me that they were bad people they weren't bad people everyone's selfish comedy yeah he goes they were people they were people and he regretted that and then he also though said as much as he wished he wouldn't have listened to the critics he said he's i forget who he quoted it was someone oh that's right Some artist he had quoted saying like, there's no idiot whose advice I can't benefit from. Every idiot has some piece, something that you can hear. Like every YouTube comment, there's something to be gleaned

that you can take as feedback as an artist. And I liked that because I hate when people are like, get mad at the audience. My biggest pet peeve, as you probably know, is like when comedians are on stage and they tell a joke and they're like, oh, you guys just don't get that. This crowd fucking sucks. And they get mad at the crowd. I'm like, no, you suck. There have been shitty crowds for sure that are just dumb or they're not listening, but you need to adjust. You need either go to their

level or acknowledge that this room is full of drunk people or acknowledge that this room is full of people talking you need to figure out a way like yes it might be hard it might be impossible but like blaming the crowd is so lame to me and so i liked hearing that because even when people go you don't need to listen to that person's opinion about you stop reading the comments which i don't read anymore because they just hurt me too much but i do think that you know we're trying to entertain the the masses like some feedback can be helpful even if it's like you're a fat slut and all women should die i'm like okay well i do dye my hair maybe i can take you did spell die wrong and unintentionally um but he was saying he was working on a new film and that he was asking for all kinds of feedback from all kinds of folks and he didn't necessarily love the feedback the network was giving him but he was like i'm gonna listen to

it i'm gonna be open-minded maybe they're right that's so cool because you just i always thought of him as like such a lone wolf like he so... He knows how to do his own set and he doesn't take advice from anyone else, which is still true because I said, you know, this is interesting, Jerry, because I've been thinking about my stand-up set and how I approach... My roasts have always been the thing

that everyone applauds me for the most, like my roasts. And there's a part of me that doesn't feel like I can take credit for it because it was such a process that I invited other writers into, other comedians, and I had a lot of help on Rose, even though I wrote many, if not most of the jokes, I got a lot of help. And for some reason I go, and I don't know why I don't do the same thing

with my standup. Like, why am I not getting help from people? And he goes, no, no, your standup is you. No, you're doing everything right. You don't right. He goes, for example, I'm working on this bit about playing poker and how I don't care about my... It was some very early bit that he's working on. And he goes, no one's going to be able to tag that up for me or tag being a joke

after a punchline. He's like, no one knows. That's in my head. That's my own... No one can help me with that. So he was very full of juxtaposition of listen to people, but also do your own thing. But the one thing I will always try to remember is that he said, at one point I was talking and telling a story, and he looked at his friends, and he goes, her voice. Even the way she talks is funny. She has a voice.

What did he say? She has the comedy voice. say she has the comedy voice she's got the comedy voice and i was just like it was oh the best was when he he christened you a jew oh yeah and he goes are you Jewish and i go no i'm sorry and he was like you're sorry he was like laughing and he was like you're not he goes you are you are and i go thank you yeah you go i wish i were and he goes glazer and you go i know people always think that and he goes you are you are and i go yeah you go i wish i were and he goes glazer and you go i know people always think that and he goes you are you're but you are and i go okay then i am i said that's how you know if you're jewish you're jewish because if your mom is jewish you're jewish or

jerry seinfeld says you're jewish those are the two ways and so i'm jewish it was such an amazing thing to just be in the room for that because i was pretty like unflappable and my eyes teared up several times. And I was like, why am I crying right now? I was looking at the carpet like pull it together on you. No one could tell. But I was just going, wow, this man has touched all of our lives so much. Like Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry David, Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep. Like so many things I love in my life are due to this man.

Kramer at the Laugh Factory. I mean, everything. No, it's been so culturally impacted, maybe more so than anyone you can think of, like in terms of how influential he's been. And he was so ebullient. Like you do think he's going to be jaded, but he was just so full of joy.

He had the most smiley eyes. And he was just staring at Nikki, smiling 100% joy the whole time. But I know great people have said I'm funny before. Conan says I'm funny. All my heroes say I'm funny. And you guys know as my besties that I doubt that sometimes and I think I'm tricking people. I've figured it out, but it's not real.

For some reason, I'm going to remember the way he said that. I can't question Jerry Simon. Not that I can question Conan either, but sometimes I'm like, Conan's just being nice. And yeah, I've done well on his show but like I was I don't know I just sometimes can I gotta just remember that for some reason Jerry really got through to me of like no he's a legitimate fan of mine and like wants to hear what I have to say and it was like and he was like you should have been in my movie we should have put her in my movie god like he was like so mad and then Anya's like then you guys need to work together Anya's being my agent she's like you need to put her in something you guys need to do something i

didn't know comedians and cars is over is it i feel like he would have said that i've seen every single one and i would love to see you guys do it but then anya anya's just like i'm like this is my opener they don't even know if she does music like they're not really it was so fast when we were all introing that it was unclear and then we you know we have a friend in common uh ryan hamilton and we were talking about his new stand-up and um and anya's like it's this great 20 minutes about his this accident he had and all the stuff and jerry's like we should produce it you and i we're gonna produce it so he and anya made like a deal that night and he even said i know this sounds like just this hollywood like we're not You and I, we're going to produce it. So he and Anya made like a deal that night. And he even said, I know this sounds like just this Hollywood, like we're not going to do it, but we're doing this.

And then so Anya and I went and saw Ryan Hamilton's set last night. And I feel like we're going to get the wheels in motion on this. We are. It's so good. It was so fun. It was like I don't often get. I'm still pinching myself. What did your parents say?

They, I haven't, you know what? I'm still pinching myself. What did your parents say? They... I haven't... You know what? I texted them just the picture. I was like, you're never going to believe it. And then they just hearted it. I haven't talked to them yet because I've been on this girl's trip. But I did say he's a huge fan of mine.

Take how much you think he would be excited to see me in your wildest dreams and multiply it by 100. Because it literally was like... i'm not joking you i've never would have thought that jerry seinfeld would be that excited to meet me it lit i literally said to him are you doing an impression of how excited i should be like it felt like it felt like the way that i was trying to suppress like the version of myself that is totally unbridled happiness and excitement was the way he was i was kind of like take it easy fan girl like it was that much it was awesome i can't wait for your parents to hear that was definitely the highlight of one of the highlights of the year it really was and um also the weirdest thing is we were playing a manifestation game with the girls

chain like play the game of in your wildest dreams let's say a phone call happens you pick up the phone what is the great news on the other end and we were all making lists and one thing on my list this is a month ago i was like i want to produce a comedy special or work with a comedian would love if it's nikki but any you know like i would love to work more closely with comedians in terms of working on a special. You said produce a comedy special. I was thinking Ryan's. I've never heard this dream.

What's going on here? Then all of a sudden, Jerry's like, we're producing it. I told Jerry, I go, I want Ryan to do this, but he keeps saying he's going to shelve it. I want to produce it. He goes, you should produce it.

I go, yeah. Then he goes, I'll do it with you. I'm like, this is a joke. I'm done. This really happened. This is wild. So there's a plug for speaking your dreams into existence. I'm telling you, I talked about it last week on the podcast

about doing mantras and I got a lot of feedback from besties about my new mantra of I approve of myself. I approve of myself. And of myself and i was doing it this morning because i was on my way to a shoot and i was feeling like just chalky skin and like kind of just bloated from too much like food last night late at night and i was just feeling like warning warning white lotus spoiler alert ahead white lotus spoiler alert ahead if you have not watched the finale of white lotus season two please skip ahead at least two minutes it may be more than that i am sorry if it is warning warning white lotus spoiler alert commencing now

you know jennifer coolidge when she fell off that yacht and just was floating in that ocean, I just felt really confused and puffy and, you know, just betrayed. And I was like, I approve of myself. I approve of myself. I approve. Guys, spoiler alert. I do a great Jennifer Coolidge. I realized this weekend.

Spoiler alert now? oh yeah by the way I just gave away the ending of White Lotus oh fuck wait let me do this for an insert can you do it underwater I'm proving myself oh wow this ocean is I was so sad White Lotus if you guys haven't seen the finale, I'm sorry to spoil it.

We'll do an insert of a spoiler alert for that because that one's really important. But yeah, I can do it. We were working on impressions this weekend and my Jennifer Coolidge is like, have you been watching White Lotus, Noah? No, no no you have not um i think most of the nation has watched it i think it's like the i just love your non-sequiturs about like being hungry or not like i've lost my appetite now i'm hungry now i've oh that fish That fish looks good. Oh, man. Why did I have to die? I wanted to be in the next season. Oh, God.

It's a little off. I need to watch it again. White Lotus is so good. And I know people who haven't seen it yet are probably like stop talking about it. And people who have seen it are like wanting to hear more about it. Even this morning with my makeup artist, I was like, I'm still like recovering from white Lotus. Like I'm still, can I just say my final thoughts about white Lotus?

Please. Do it. She. And Noah, do you care if I spoil it for you? No, I don't care. Are you promise? Yeah.

Because like for me, it's watching the whole thing. It's not just like the ending that counts. You know what I mean? So I don't care about. Okay. Well, let me just talk in code then what happens at the end of white Lotus.

It's a great ending. Everything I agree with. I agree with the couples all getting together at the end through that fucked up web of betrayal. I loved that. I loved, um, I love the deception from,

uh, the, the like, uh the sex workers. I loved that whole thing. They not only deceived the guys, but they deceived us as viewers with the Eliseo character. I thought it was brilliant. But someone didn't need to die.

That didn't need to happen. I love how I'm talking in code. What happened before that person died was enough of a cool thing we didn't need to see that person die it was like i it didn't give us anything it was enough of an ending for her to have that to get the bag and go in the room and then the guys come up and that whole thing that happened. That was enough. And for her to just, they could have panned out for her on the boat just being like, oh God.

And you could have just seen her like worried and like what's going to happen. And you know she's going to be safe. Yeah. And she's going to have a lot of explaining to do. But that, and they could have left something so that you know she's going to have a trail where she can get, you know,

she's not going to be found guilty. But she's going to be able to have proof can get you know she's not gonna be found guilty but she's gonna be able to have proof that they were gonna kill her you know i'll tell you why i think that happened why because i think that we need to have no hope that's what this show is saying i think that it's a cynical view of love and life on purpose in a big way. I think it's exaggerated cynicism. And that's why we lose the person we love the most. I don't hate Cameron and Daphne's relationship, I have to say. As someone who's like, I don't like the lying because they both do lie to each other. But if they both were honest with each other, that they both fool around.

They're having a good time, but she did have tears in her eyes when she found out about a new betrayal. If she doesn't win a Best Actress for that betrayal, the nuance of her sadness plus her like, I'm okay. So I read some synopsis of it, and it was like, we see her get over the betrayal of an affair

in 0.5 seconds. Yes, I'm getting goosebumps. We see her process the hurt and then shake it off and you just see that this woman has had to do it so many times that the half-life is now milliseconds for her to get over it and it's just... It's like Elizabeth Moss level

acting because Elizabeth Moss used to say so much with just her eyes on Mad Men, on Handmaid's Tale. She can like a rainbow of emotions all right we're gonna go to break and come back with a new segment after this john stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast dive into john's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports, sports, and more.

Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap, and the dealer might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. Hey, you guys. I'm

Katherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet. And I've got a new podcast. It's called Throttle Therapy. This season, I'm gearing up to make history, competing in some of the world's most notorious racing events, starting at the Indy 500. Join me as I travel from racetrack to racetrack in my quest to continue a memorable career in racing. I'm also going to bring you inside stories with legends of sports, new faces from the next generation of auto racing, and conversations with the people who've supported me throughout my career. We'll be getting into everything from karting to NASCAR, even Formula One.

Whether you dream about being a pro athlete or an astronaut, we're talking about what it takes to make it. Listen to Thristle Therapy with Catherine Legg, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us

on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Can you hear it? It's the whisper of two wolves inside you.

One says, you're not enough. The other says, keep going. You can do this. They're always talking. The one you listen to shapes your life. I'm Eric Zimmer, host of The One You Feed. On my podcast, we explore how to hear the voice that matters, the one that leads you to courage, wisdom, and love. It's not about perfection. It's about direction. Millions of listeners have fed their good wolf. Now it's your turn.

Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Just a reminder that my tour, the Good Girl Tour, is ongoing. And we have a couple, three dates left for the rest of the year. This weekend it's Oklahoma City on Friday, Tulsa, Oklahoma on Saturday. And then on December 31st, New Year's Eve, special St. Louis show. So those tickets are available.

Meet and greets are always available at the merch booth as well as tons of new merch that I wish I could wear myself, but it has my face on it, so it's kind of weird. But it's so cute. I almost wish it wasn't so cute because I'm jealous and I want it on my body. You can get away with the Navy for sure. Yeah, you think?

Yeah. It's not too obvious? It's kind of Warhol-esque. Okay, cool. Yeah, the Navy one is so good. All of them are good. And Anya will be there with special guests all the time. Not sure who exactly now.

But yeah. Oh, wait. Tim Conby actually is going to be on the New Year's Eve show. And Anya as well. And so I hope to see you guys there. And let's get to our new segment that we have. Noah came up with a great idea. It is where we go back in time and review a headline from the past and kind of talk about the headline itself,

but also like where we were when this thing happened. It's a chance for us just to go back in time a little bit. So let's get to old news. It's old news. It's old. That was recorded this weekend on the girls trip. That sounds so good. It was great.

Well done, Noah. Okay, Noah, what is the old news that you have for us today? So the old news headline goes back to 2013. Nikki and Sarah of MTV's Nikki and Sarah Live choose two fans of the show to take over their hosting duties and they surprised them with a one direction interview. And now I want to share this because it's important because what was going on

in the news is, uh, it was just upon the Harry Styles and Taylor Swift breakup. And, uh, I want everyone to see what happens next. No! What did you have in that song? Well, it was Taylor Swift.

You're gonna roll now? You wanna ask one of these questions? Okay, so you're surprisingly still What did she say about Taylor Swift? What was the question that led to that so harry styles asks what were you guys listening to the headphones on the way over because the girls were blindfolded we had them listening to headphones they had no idea that they were going to be interviewing one direction there's so much of a story behind this okay so

as i was going down this rabbit hole i realized that the girl who said she was listening to taylor swift right as um like it was it was right after the breakup oh hold on i had i just want to show you this of harry and taylor yeah and she's saying this to harry styles she's saying it to harry styles and i just want you to look a freeze frame of the reaction of the band. Does she know that they broke up? Yeah. I think she was just telling the truth. Look at their faces

when she said that she was listening to Taylor Swift. They all know. They're like, oh shit. They loved it. So when I was at the people's choice award uh olivia wild was there and you know her and harry just broke up right i did not know that oh that's right olivia wild yeah olivia i didn't know olivia wild was going to be there and backstage they were doing like these photo shoots like with these really nice photographers

and during the photo shoot they had music on and they were playing like as it was and she was like backstage and i'm like tell someone to turn that off like i mean because it's her ex's yeah like that kind of sucks for her or for like anyone like even jason sudeikis having to hear harry styles like everywhere he goes right it's like a thing but okay so that nikki and sarah thing how it came about was like i think we found out we were going to have five minutes with one direction and we're like that's how this idea starts we go what are we going to do with that five minutes like of all the things we can do we could interview them it's kind of like a press tour where they kind of sit in and then different you know people come into the room and just interview them for five minutes and then you're ushered out and we were like oh it would be a

good idea if we found the biggest One Direction fans and blindfolded them and somehow took off the blindfolds and there's One Direction sitting there. So we convinced these girls that they were going to interview Kesha, which they were excited about, but not huge.

One Direction was their lives. They ran One Direction fan pages and all these things. So we blindfolded these girls and we thought they were going to fucking lose their minds. But they were quiet and just shocked. And it wasn't great TV. We thought it was going to be fucking insane.

They were going to cry and all these things. But they were kind of just like, um, hi. And we were like, do you want to ask them some questions? But they didn't have any questions prepared because they had like thought they were going to interview kesha yeah so they're like you know asking her about her you know how she does her hair whatever it was like but it was just how tv can kind of like betray you sometimes where you're like this is gonna be the best and then they were just so nervous and they were so sweet and everything um did you know though the

one thing i remember from that oh sorry before you get what did i know what so apparently two years ago the girl who said taylor swift went on tiktok and she kind of made this moment viral i couldn't find it so if anyone does have it i'd love to see it i think i remember this like she katherine is her name and i really liked her we followed each other for a while after that and I was I like I loved those little girls they were so sweet and they put up with so much that day because it was so they had to be blindfolded for like so long we drove them around it was all just like it sucked for them she said she didn't and then obviously it did suck yeah she didn't do it on purpose it was just like the truth had just come out

apparently you know and and the two things didn't taylor swift like yeah yeah because they asked what are you listening to on those headphones and um yeah we had just gotten into red had just come out i think and so they were definitely listening to that but um that was like because we did a lot of surprises on that show like we thought another time we always use kesha as the thing like another time because kesha was our first guest on the show another time sarah and i went to vegas because we thought another time, we always use Kesha as the thing. Like another time, because Kesha was our first guest on the show. Another time, Sarah and I went to Vegas because we thought we were interviewing Kesha. And we were like, we don't need to.

We've already interviewed her. What is going on here? So we flew to Vegas and we're like, what is this? And we're sitting there waiting for Kesha. She's late. And then all of a sudden, Justin Timberlake walks in. And he was like the reason we got that TV show because we created a viral video in 2011 or 12 about Justin Timberlake like begging him to come back to music and that was the reason we even got the MTV show and so our show was like

based on surprises but it was just it was like I remember everyone was just like oh man like they just didn't react the way we wanted them to but I mean I would I don't know why we didn't see that coming I would have freaked yeah I would have been so like, if they did that to me with Taylor Swift, but I will say the thing I took away, because they were little boys. I was like 27 or eight. I was 27 at the time. And they're just children to me.

But I remember looking at Harry Styles and being like, Oh my God, I get it. Like just gorgeous. And I, I never felt that way where you see someone in person, you go except Jerry Seinfeld, where you just go, Whoa, this is, this kid is special. And so, um, didn't you also interview Ariana Grande? Yeah. She did a segment with us too. That was awesome. She was so funny.

Um, she was particular about having one side of her face showing and not the other she definitely had a good side it was the first time i'd ever seen that but she wasn't rude about it she was so funny too we had ariana grande fire people on our show it's a really funny segment and so we have her like just like brian you make too much fish in the microwave you have to go now and sarah and i are just sitting there like sorry and it's like this is the nicest way we can let you go and it was just beautiful and she was so funny and down like we did a lot of fun stuff on

that show i know i love the nude onesies oh yeah that was the first time i ever did something where i was like embarrassed like where i I showed my body a lot. We put on these nude onesies and we went to a lingerie convention and just put on lingerie. It was the easiest way to try lingerie. And we looked naked. And Sarah was older than me, so she was a lot more comfortable with her body and just being more physically out there. And I'm more of like, I'm a comedian. I say words.

So it was a test of my comfort. And we did that show live, which was so insane. It was so good. Your news segments were so funny. They were so good. Fun Fun Real? Yeah. Yes.

Oh, yeah. Fun Fun Real was a segment that Emmy Blotnick, who is an amazing comedian, came up with where we would just ask two really fun questions. Favorite color, red or green? What's your favorite animal, whale or sharks? Or yeah, we'd go red or green. They'd be green color, red or green? What's your favorite animal? Whale or sharks? Or yeah, we go red or green?

They'd be green. Whale or sharks? Sharks. Why do you think I'll die alone? And then they just are like, what? It was just, that was so fun. It was called Fun Fun Real. Yeah, that was a good show.

And we got two seasons of it. Most of my shows, if we're counting, I've never gone past two seasons, including FBoy. We're going to go somewhere else. Including Boyfriends. Honestly. That's so true.

I mean, you're almost on season two. I've got two seasons. We're up to 24 months. I'm out. This podcast is probably the long... Sirius was a long run for me. I was talking about buying a house. Last night, we were looking at property around here and I was like maybe i could do it and jesus christ it's so

much money like after you do property tax and hoa fees after you do property after you do auto property tax and you look at the hoa fees and you just think of me got to tip the doorman at Christmas. And you factor all in that. And it's maybe not even worth it. In 2013, were you and Anya friends? Were you living together yet? We were living together. Yeah, we lived together. I remember Nikki's. So that's where I was when that story broke.

Probably sitting in the kitchen ordering Chinese from the guy down the street who would knock on the door and then give me my plastic bag and he'd say have and joy which is like such a sweet have and joy thing to say I got the pilot for Nikki and Sarah in 2012

we were going to film it January 2012 and it got picked up to film in 2011. Wow. It was like August of 2011, we found out, okay, we're going to film this pilot in January. And we were starting to put together a staff. And then it was like two months later that I was like,

I got to quit drinking. So I quit drinking in November or December of 2011. Because I was like, I can't fuck up this. I can't be hung over making this show. And so that's how I always kind of remember it. And then we taped the pilot in January. And then we were told we had to tape another, then we taped another pilot in April

because they weren't satisfied with that. Then we got picked up in September and then we didn't air until January of 2013. And then we got canceled, I think, November 2013. So we did two seasons in one year. And then by 2014, it was like, what am I going to do? But I moved in with Anya 2012. Yeah, October.

October. Sorry, 2012? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I did the pilot when I was still living in that fucking terrible place. And then, yeah, the whole time I made the show, I was living with Anya. What terrible place? In Astoria. Oh, yeah. So I did the pilot when I was still living in that fucking terrible place. And then, yeah, the whole time I made the show, I was living in Cognac. What terrible place? In Astoria.

Oh, really? So that's where you lived? Oh, it was terrible. Yeah. But that really marked the, you know, I always told my parents when I got into comedy, like, give me until I'm, I said, give me until I'm 28. That was always, no, 27. I said, give me 27 is'm 28. That was always, no, 27. I said, give me 27 is when I'm going to make it.

Like just until then, have my back. And they, you know, and I'm just lucky. They definitely bailed me out financially and I've paid them back since then. But like, I wouldn't have been able to do it if I wasn't like, my parents didn't help me out financially here and there. So I'm realized that I'm lucky and privileged in that way.

A lot of people don't have, but I remember I got the show, the pilot got picked up. Oh, I remember it was, it was like May 31st of my, the Eve. I was about to turn 28 in the last day that I was 27 was the day that our

pilot got picked up or that we got our, yeah, that we got our pilot picked up. So it was May 31st we got our pilot picked up it was May 31st and then by January so it was May 31st 2011 would that have been 27 years old yeah um and and that was when I was like oh I and it was just just under the wire where I was like okay now I have like a paycheck coming in it was awesome speak it into existence you did I approve of myself i approve of myself i approve of myself i approve of myself i approve of myself i greg proves of myself like it just starts to sound like nothing but yeah a lot of besties wrote me and were like oh my god i'm so glad you're getting

into mantras do you ever do those yeah i haven't done one in a while but i liked for a while i was doing i am a seductive and feminine being or something like that because I was someone told me like you're not in touch with your sexuality this is like three years ago and I was like maybe I'm not I'm always wearing like chunky boots and um boy jeans and it was so uncomfortable I'm right back to my old-fashioned sensibility um of us struggle with that. That's a good one. I'm a sensual and sexual being. I gotta start trying that one. It really works.

Money comes to me easily and swiftly. Good things come to me easily and swiftly. I do that one a lot. Good things come to me easily and swiftly. I like the word swift in there. I'm trying to think of what I want to manifest next. Because even if I were to be like, I want to produce a special, I'm like, oh, that's a lot of work. I want to do something that doesn't feel like...

I like doing it in the present tense. I am producing a special that I love with people I love. Well, that's just delusional because you're not. I like to do things that actually are true too. I approve of myself. Even if I don't well i guess that's true because i don't when i'm saying it so yeah you're right you can the only reason is to conjure up the feeling of what it would feel like to do it and then they're like oh that's how

people who are fill in the blank feel like if you're a billionaire how would a billionaire feel like i have ample money for the rest of my life, for myself and my family. Ah, I approve of myself. It really just, for some reason, the Louise Hay recording, that really struck me because it's like, if you have that, you have everything. No matter, because you can be anything. You can look any way. You can have any amount of money. And if you approve of yourself, it's okay.

And so that one really helps me if you approve of yourself it's okay and so it just that one really like i love that helps me i approve of myself i approve of myself um and so that's a good one to just say to yourself in the back of an uber over and over and over and your score will also go down at uber but that's okay but um i have to go because i am actually going to go get a shot into my clitoris. I'm going to that place called the V spot. So at Atlantic city at the meet and greet, there was this doctor that was in line and she was like, have you been to the V spot?

And I was like, I think I have actually, because another woman back in the serious days offered it to me. And they do a thing called PR prp where they like extract your blood they spin it around a machine and they put it back into you and it's supposed to like i don't know what it does enhance your clitoral experience yeah you're gonna wake me up down there even though thank you seinfeld like i feel alive that was that hit me too um no like and theo james white lotus um i uh they're just gonna put me in a room and make me watch close-ups of his face um

but i'm going to get that done i'm kind of like not feeling like doing it to be honest with you because i'm like i just kind of want to take a nap yeah and I have to go get a fucking needle put into my clit um and I've been talking about on stage about how like guys don't like I hate to do jokes about like guys you don't know where the clitoris is but I don't think I think a lot of them don't know that there's like a hood over it like there's like a flap of skin that sometimes you have to lift up to access but then I learned from Taylor and from Anya that they don't want that flap lifted up. They need that protection because it's too sensitive. Yeah, I mean, I'm open to both things,

but it doesn't always have to get lifted up. It's like a treasure chest. Yeah, as Taylor said, I like it all smushed together. I like it all smushed together. What do you feel, Noah? Do you like the hood to be lifted to get into the engine parts? It's too intense. Two cents.

I love intense. Well, then you're going to enjoy your afternoon at the V-Spot. This is me self-care getting. And I don't even know what I need it for. I know. I watch Nikki. I don't even know what it's going to. I know. I watch Nikki. She's like, I have so much in my schedule. But then I watch you and you're constantly scheduling new shit.

I think it's going to be free. And I'm not doing this as like, I'm not advertising this place in any way for a forum. But this is a thing that happens when you have a celebrity is people go, you need to come by my spot. I'll take care of you. And you don't know if that is, I'm going to shoot your clit and then charge you $800 and make you talk to me and take a picture, or it means I'm going to hook it up.

Because shout out to everyone who's ever hooked me up in the world. I am very grateful for all the times people just give you things. But I don't know. So I'm going into this being like, I might be out of pocket for something I don't want to really do.

But it was, I can't turn down free stuff. I'm my into this being like, I might be out of pocket for something I don't want to really do. Yeah. But it was, I can't turn down free stuff. I'm my mother's daughter. You're going to turn down a clit shot for $800? You kidding me? Are you kidding me? Do you have a plus one in there for me? Squid salad.

My book is going to look like squid salad. That's literally what my vagina looks like a lot of times. It's just raw squid salad my book is going to look like squid salad that's literally what my vagina looks like a lot of times it's just raw squid salad discounted squid salad so I'm going to go do that and I will report to you next week for sure about how that all goes

so thank you guys for listening to the podcast thank you for understanding our recording equipment if it sounds a little weird, I forgot the equipment. I missed an essential piece of the elements, so we'll be back to sounding normal next week. And I love

you, and don't be kid. And thank you, Anya, and thank you, Noah. And G-A-C-K-A-L-O-P. Yeah, Jackalope. Oh, we've done that one before, but why not? Jack up that needle and slam it into my clitty. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears

with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story.

Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy holidays from me, Michael Rapaport. And my gift to you is a free subscription to the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast, where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics, and anything and everything that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it, and there's a whole lot of things catching my eyes these days. Listen to the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, and wherever you get your podcasts. Some people won't give you the real talk on drugs, but it's time we know the facts. Fentanyl is often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills. You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap.

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