The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #310 Bear Noises w/ Ben Gleib

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

Big news and life event announcements on today's pod. Starting with Nikki anticipating her appearance on the Kelly Clarkson Show and friend of the pod Ben Gleib's engagement breakup. Ben talks about what it's like going back into the dating world and explains how to not leave a trail of angry women when Nikki wants to dissect hookup culture. Anya relates to a story Ben tells about having the subject of one of his jokes in the crowd. Nikki wishes she could have a child's blissful ignorance and explains the paradox that is engulfing her professional life. In the Final Thought, they share a very honest moment about the absurdity of tracking Instagram stories. ---- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Watch Ben Gleib's Full Special: The Mad King  More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More producer Noa: IG More Ben Gleib: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors,

it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships,

and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that'll resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is gonna be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom

of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I

had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the podcast. This is Nikki Glaser Podcast, coming at you two times a week. It's the best we can do. This, I have a feeling, might be one of the best podcasts we've ever done. I'm just going to call it early. I just have a good feeling about it. I'm astral projecting that this will be one of the best ones. I'm in a good mood. I'm alone in my hotel room right now in Hollywood. Still out here in Los Angeles.

I'm doing the Kelly Clarkson show tomorrow. Check that out on Wednesday. I believe it will air on Wednesday as well. And I'm joined by, of course, Anya Marina, who you just heard her song. She will be on the road with me this weekend in Kalamazoo and Joliet, Illinois. Hey, Anya. Hey, baby. Hey, baby.

Noah is also here. Hey, Noah. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. Noah is also here. Hey, Noah. Hi, baby. Hi, baby. And then joining us, I'm going to get this intro right. He is a stand-up comedian called by TBS, one of the funniest comedians working today. He's the host of the game show Idiot Test on Game Show Network

and streaming on Game Show Central. He was one of the stars of Chelsea Lately, and he's currently a lead anchor and contributor for the Young Turks. His critically acclaimed second hour special, titled Ben Glebe, The Mad King, just dropped on YouTube. Kelly Carlin, daughter of George Carlin, tweeted from the official George Carlin Twitter account, I think you'll like this special by Ben Glebe.

It reminds me of elements of my dad's approach. Please welcome Ben Glebe. Love that intro, Ben! Well, thank you so much. You made it up off the top of your head, so you gotta thank yourself. It was from my heart, really. No, I was so impressed that you sent a whole

email of... You're just so organized, and it intimidates... It doesn't intimidate me. I meant to say infuriates me well i also sent it nine minutes ago so it's not like i'm super organized that's a good point okay that really does uh you know it loses some of its luster with the fact that you did send it um almost late but it's the fact that you're so organized that you're so um like yesterday i did a podcast podcast, Chelsea Alvarez's podcast, Celebrity Memoir Book Club. I forget that's the name of it. Anyway, it's on my story if you want to check it out.

But we covered the Prince Harry book. I was about to say his last name, and I realized I don't know it. Harry Windsor, is that it? I have no idea. What is his last name? Harry Sussex? I don't know. What is his last name? Harry Sussex? I don't know. Markle?

Markle. Harry Markle. And, well, anyway, they were like, can you send us a picture that we can use for the promo? And I was like, I don't have one. I don't have, I don't know what picture I would, I don't have press pictures. I was going through my phone for like 20 minutes

trying to find it. I was like, do I use a stand-up picture? No, this doesn't fit it. What's a picture that says, I've read a book once? Like I needed like a – not like a – there were like sexy photos. I'm like, that's not book photo. Like I just don't have like a press kit. I think a photo of you –

I have a depression kit, a depress kit. A photo of you reading a book would be very perfect. Yeah, that's good. Wow. Just kind of peering over the top like a sexy librarian. It's like a Bigfoot photo because it's not going to... I read on my phone, so a picture of me looking at my phone might suffice. I know I've seen a Nikki Glaser photo behind some Warby Parkers just like peering out sexily

with your Bob. Maybe it was during Nikki and Sarah live days. Oh, we're wearing glasses. Cause I thought that would fix my relationship or whatever was happening at the time. God, I don't know why I did that.

Bleached my hair, cut it real short. It was definitely like inner struggle. Well, of course you got it going on girly. The other day you were like, I want to chop my hair off. Yeah.

Because I'm unwell inside. The other day you were like, I want to chop my hair off. Yeah, because I'm unwell inside. The other day I was not feeling good. You were in a relationship and your partner was like, look, things are great. If just only your hair was shorter and bobbier. No guy has ever wanted their girlfriend to get shorter hair in the history of heterosexual men. Ever.

Ever. We trick ourselves into thinking bangs or a shaved head will help. Or like a pixie cut will be good. It's just, what is that desire to just change things up? Ben, you look like you have a different look going right now. It's a cleaner cut. Did you just get a haircut? I got a haircut very recently and I got rid of my beard that I usually grow.

It's now just stubbly but it's getting back is it true that beards are a sign of depression and or big transition in men's lives i've heard like either growing up for me cutting okay good what happened yeah we have evidence to support that right now but ben how are you feeling today um given your you know recent life change you were engaged. Now you're not. Can we say that? That was part of your intro. I skipped over.

That was the biggest part of my intro, known mostly from his random unengagement that happened just last year. That you had to announce on Instagram. When you announced it on Instagram, I thought, because I already knew about it, it had maybe been a month after it had happened that you announced it, a little bit more is that right yes you gotta announce it I realized I go maybe he didn't need to do that and I go no he does because people who know him know he was with her if somehow he's behaving in a certain way like a single guy on his stories or in other posts girls are gonna start people are gonna start going this fucking asshole what's he doing so people roll their eyes when people announce like we've decided to

separate and but you you shouldn't roll your eyes because i i at first was like no one needs to know but then i go yes they do because you suddenly are going to not have her in pictures and people are going to start speculating so you kind of just got to get it out of the way. What was your thought process leading up to that announcement? Yeah, I mean, it was exactly that. It's that, you know, obviously there's going to be thousands of videos of women throwing themselves at me now. And I needed cover for that, for people to realize I'm not a dirtbag that was letting that happen just because my fiance cut her hair short or something, you know. so i had to announce it plus yeah i just i also don't like to try to be as honest as i can about

my life and i don't even i didn't really want to like to archive the engagement post that we had had a few months earlier it's an important part of my life that you can't change your past i didn't want to like hide it plus you know so i wanted to instead just update people and they can go and see the whole the whole the whole messed up story you know yeah i think that's really brave can i ask a question about that because i have a weird um thing that i would love to get rid of it's a like an obsession i'm afraid of like people pitying me or i hate it i don't know if i'm afraid of it i don't like pity condescension i don't like comments on instagram like the chin up girl or like anything resembling pity i hate it so i would be afraid if i was in

that position that i'd get comments like pitying or do you have that at all or what were the some of the most uncomfortable comments or feedback you've gotten either online or off or do you not have any no I definitely got the full range of comments I just don't really care I mean I get so much hate you know typically and you get so much like disgusting things and videos I do on the young turks I'll get death threats and I'll get people you know saying the worst things in the world to me so i didn't mind a little bit of pity because it just actually made me feel like there's some good people out there some people being like stick with it you'll be fine like oh wow there's someone that doesn't want me to die or think i'm an asshole so i thought that was fine and not that

i was looking for pity but i didn't mind kind comments coming from people maybe it's different for men like i feel like men are fine with pity but if a woman's like ditched or or they assume that she's been rejected it's like a real i don't know it's definitely have that same thing i kind of like pity as well i like when someone feels like sorry for me because i you know i think i struggle with feeling sorry for me because I, you know, I think I struggle with feeling sorry for myself and I never like let that in. Or if I do, I feel too indulgent and go look at your life.

You shouldn't feel so to have someone else kind of go, no, this is, this sucks. I would hate to be where you, where you are. It doesn't bother me that much. I wonder what that is in you that doesn't like people i'm always

like you don't know anything about what's going on with me like people project so much onto me and then i don't like other people reading that and obviously it's like who cares what other people think of you or what other people think of what other people think of you none of it really matters but it does matter probably to my ego that it you know like if somebody were to write oh that sucks some loser like you know cheated on you and let's say they don't know the story of why i broke up with someone i would hate that i would want to be like correction this is actually what happened don't project your weird ideas onto me or i don't know i just don't like people knowing too much about my life or projecting onto it.

What if they just wrote something? I'm so sorry that you're going through that. That'd be nice. Like something more vague. That would be fun. Who's getting specific? Like that fucking bitch cheated on you. I don't know.

You poor thing. No one will ever love you again. Oh, people write stuff like that. Really? People write some stuff like that. Yeah. I got some on both sides. People said I did. People said she did. Right. stuff like that. People write some stuff like that. Yeah, I got some on both sides. People said I did.

People said she did. Right. People like to, well, obviously projection, people wanting things that have happened in their own relationships to happen in others so they don't feel so alone. But like, was there a part of you that was waiting to post that

because you thought maybe it'll turn around? And then was that kind of like the final nail in the coffin for you of like, okay, I'm really really letting this one go like i'm burying this by announcing it yeah i mean to speak a thousand percent honestly i that's why i waited a month you're right but then also part of me and posting it thought that maybe posting it would make would be like the last chance you would see that and then be like what have i done and like i'm running in the rain to my door and and say i've made a terrible mistake is it yeah oh god is there is it getting easier um like emotionally or is it still coming in like waves of just like sat like is it do you feel it letting up a little bit it is it is getting easier um but it

still does come in waves that said you know like i just messaged you after like a month of silence like a i don't know a week ago and said like i'm still a mess i don't know what's happening and every time my pot like when i go out you know i'm trying to date again and when i go on dates um have a great time or from focused on work focused on work or if I'm specifically watching something on TV or whatever, I'm fine. But still, pretty much most of the time, whenever I have a moment to think, I get a little messed up by it. It's just still so weird. It's still so shocking and just stunning that somebody i thought i was gonna spend my life with i don't talk to anymore and can't really talk to and that's the weirdest

part is that it doesn't even make sense everything to nothing and there's no in between how does that like we'll just hang out and slip because it doesn't seem right at all it doesn't and that's what that's the really risk that you take in starting a relationship with anyone is like there's a really good chance we're gonna hate each other at the end of this i mean really good chance i mean how often no one ever thinks that you never talk about that up top you never think that you think for sure you're gonna stay together forever or it'll just be perfect ending and happy and like i just don't get that like one of the last texts i sent her was like i think gwyneth paltrow's conscious uncoupling phrase is pretty

lame but i think the idea is right on it's like why do you have to make it hard we can just make it easy on ourselves we can be friends we can and then i got a solid no response to that so and i'm pretty sure I'm blocked now on text because it turned green instead of blue. Oh no, or she got an Android and that is, she's really changed. Trust me. She's hurting.

I know her. She would much rather block me than ever have an Android. So I'm pretty sure. We were talking about it the other day how Android's like, you just see green text pop up and you just kind of go.

Like there's a judgment that you can't help. And it's based on capitalism I was thinking about it the other day, how androids, like, you just see green text pop up, and you just kind of go, ugh. Oh, I know. Like, there's a judgment that you can't help. And it's based on capitalism and consumerism and just the most shallow thing. But I can't help it. It doesn't matter that I know it doesn't. I know Matt, Anya's fiance, has an android, and I know he's a great guy, and he's not a bad person or, like, less of a person. But he has green bubbles that pop up and I'm just like

ugh it's just they shouldn't be allowed in any group text they mess up group texts they do it is very care though that Apple has made people care because it's so care to be like

oh my god you don't have an iphone you're lame that is the most care i know but like we do it for cars and apart like apartments parts of town people live in i mean it's not like that absurd that we've you know i don't think if you had a fiance you would be as upset that has a green phone that you would be as upset about this judgment. No, he has a green phone, and that also infuriates me. Green bubbles. No, it's a little ridiculous. It is.

I understand we don't want to be bougie about it, but at the same time, it's like gathering with your close friends, about to be on a road trip, and your buddy with the manual roll-down windows is like,'ll drive no you're not you're not driving yeah i appreciate you that's how you get around but don't involve me in this and it doesn't i don't know that it slows down any communication but it does kind of because they have to be like in a building that has good white or like wi-fi signal to like they they have to get i don't know i don't rely on bars a lot of times for my Wi-Fi signal. And you can't reply to text. You can't reply directly to a text from earlier in the game. If you want to laugh at something they said or heart it, it's like, Nikki hearted, and then it quotes it.

It's awful. It's awful. And it draws too much. Nikki finds that to be very amusing. Come on. That's not the same as a ha-ha. That's not the same as a ha ha. It's not the same as an exclamation mark. Like Nikki responded shocked at like,

it's like, no, that's too much. The reason we have those little dots is so that there's not an extra text that comes down. That is inherently the problem with the green text is that you can't do those easy little replies. Yes.

I also feel like, have you ever had like Siri tell you what someone's emoji is like anya responded with heart uh like with red cheeks and hearts coming or like a smiley face with hearts coming out of its eyes up to your like it like describes it you're just like oh god i used to do this thing with my friend where we figured out a way that Siri would read. You would say, call Dina. I have a friend, Dina. And then we would put all these emojis after. And Siri would read them out.

But it would be like, call Dina, angel, baby face, medium skin tone. It would say the whole thing. Like, little angel, baby, medium skin tone, eggplant, star, water squirt. All of your friends happen to be yellow. Why are you discriminatory? Oh my god, have you ever dealt with someone who is a white person that sends

darker skin color emojis with more melanin? That is so weird to me. It's usually a friend that's not being ironic like i'm sending a black person i'm clearly they like think or they're or that no they're usually not woke they're being like they're they're almost like anti-woke and so they're making fun of it that's what i meant to say it's so i kind of go this is worse than if you had an android phone like

get out of here with this yes i'll sometimes get a black fist from a white friend. No! Yeah, it's a black fist emoji. I'm like, this is wrong in every way. That guy thinks he's woke. Yeah. He thinks he's black. He thinks he's black and woke.

Oh, God. Wait, so, Ben, what are some changes that you've done? What are some of the coping mechanisms you've gone through the breakup with like do you have you changed your hair have you what if you started going out like throwing yourself into things late nights like partying a little bit more i've noticed i mean like all of these things uh as your drug use increasing like what people always write to me and they go do you have anything about breakups like i always send them like you know podcasts i've listened to when i go through breakups i kind of want to talk about breakups in this I always send them like, you know, podcasts I've listened to when I go through breakups. I kind of want to talk about breakups in this, if you don't mind.

No, it's fine. So people can commiserate because literally everyone, it's the most, you know, relatable thing we've all been through and you're in it. I am. So, I mean, I've done a lot. I've definitely drinking more. That's been challenging on my trying to lose weight, but I've started with a personal trainer. So I'm working out three times a week. That's kind of good. Trying to. Oh, I thought i've started with a personal trainer so i'm working out

three times a week that's kind of good trying to i thought you were drinking with your personal i started getting drunk with a personal trainer eating fatty foods and not moving uh no we are working out and you watch him train other people where you sit in the corner correct okay three times a week that's pretty good i mean that keeps you going you could really only see him once and then just repeat what he told taught you but no one does that we need someone to like yell at us it's a female by the way but her sorry i assumed don't even mention a doctor hills come on of course it's a woman he's gotta bounce back i gotta bounce back look not that i have any ill

will whatsoever towards my ex you know i'm not even looking at her social media and there's nothing for you it's nothing to do with the fact that i'm blocked and but like from what i hear in the grapevine i wish her the best i hear she's doing a lot of blackface now i hear she's you know doing a lot of anti-semitic stuff and she's jewish so i don't even understand that but i wish her the best i hear she's doing great um none of that is true no but i'm but i'm doing i'm doing that i was early on i was writing some poetry that was just kind of like pouring out of me oh my god yes you shared some of it with me it was so sweet i did ben made me read it i'd be like oh that was great and then he goes it's not done there's like why are you she's like trying to go

yeah i'm like i'm like there's only 18 more poems in front of my apartment i was staying at and he's like just wait just there's i think there's a little bit more and i'm like you're i feel like i'm back at school again and you're like finish the entire thing um but it was really good and it was so sweet and like emotional and like such a good way i feel like to process your feelings and we also were listening to um we were just like singing in the car on the way when you gave me that ride to santa monica and i heard the song the other night actually you probably think that you are better now better now and ben and i were like screaming it it felt so cathartic.

Have you been doing any singing karaoke? Like, has that helped you? Because you have a whole setup at your place. I do have a karaoke studio. I've been doing a lot of solo karaoke. I will broadcast it on Instagram live sometimes to 18 people. So the career is going well. I relate to that.

I've done the same thing. Yes. And I've been doing a lot of that. That Better Now song by Post Malone was killing me. I finally stopped listening to my breakup playlist like two weeks ago because it's been like two and a half, three months since the breakup. But I have to say also just like leaning on my friends. I've had friends checking on me and Nick, just so your listeners can hear this, you might want me to say it, but you've been so lovely and kind to me during this breakup. And like you really helped make it a lot easier on nick just so your listeners can hear this you might want me to say it but you've been so lovely

and kind to me during this breakup and like you really helped make it a lot easier on me you've been an amazing friend during this i've fallen off recently but like i get texts from you and like because you have a you're nocturnal and so i'll get texts from you or dms usually in the middle of the night and um and i can tell you're going through a hard time or you're like and then i check in on you on instagram and I say oh he's having a fun time Oh he's kind of like He's getting out about town He's dating

Like I can tell you're like Trying to fill the void But I know that it's tough And I know that you have a ways to go Because it's you know You were engaged You were in How long were you guys together?

Years and years Four and a half years Yeah basically half a decade of life You know I know And in an important decade of life, like almost, dare I say, our prime. And you just go, do you feel it was wasted?

Or do you look back and you go... And that's hurtful. Both didn't need to be... As someone who's freezing their eggs, I'm really like very cognizant of what time is wasted. And like, oh, this is the prime shit. Do you feel like that was wasted or do you look back like, I'm glad that I had that

or I'm sure you go through the range of feelings on this. Yeah, I do. I mean, a little bit of both. I try not to ever regret things in my life and I don't feel it was wasted in the fact that like, you know, I finally live with somebody. I finally dated somebody more than a year and a half and I know that I can do that.

We have great memories and the pandemic was a lot of it. And so I could have been alone during that and instead I was with this lovely human that I, you know, was getting closer to and that was good. But when I'm on the dating apps now and like most people that I'm matching with, they're like, she's 57. She's 54. She's 49. And no offense.

You need to change your settings. Yeah, but also I do want to know who is interested no matter what the range is. Yeah, because you once had a vibe with Susan Sarandon and that you didn't capitalize on. That's correct. And Sally Field. And Sally Field. And Natalie Portman. He has had chances with all these women.

He's blown it. We'll talk about that more when we get back right after this with Ben Glebe. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information will help you to change your relationship with money

so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Questlove Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Questlove Supreme podcast

is we got something for everybody, every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the people who were the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations. Like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland. Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe,

and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers.

I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch,

Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique.

Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We're back with Ben Glebe. You can check out his special on YouTube,

Ben Glebe, Mad King, hilarious. One of the best specials of last year, I believe. Thank you. Ben, you're going through a breakup have you been dating and

like here's my question is like do girls that you're dating think they have a chance at a relationship with you do they have a chance at a relationship with you i think i've dated so many guys that are getting out of things and i'm like oh this is like and they're super down to like be cuddly and like treat me like a girlfriend because they're missing their girlfriend. And then you realize that you're just a placeholder and they have no intention of that and they need to heal.

Is that happening to you at all? That is a tough one to answer considering people could listen to this. But I will say, yeah, I mean, I've definitely heard the comment like, I don't want to be your rebound. Oh, yeah. Like, we'll be having a great time. And then you can feel somebody kind of all of a sudden be like, wait a minute.

Am I, like, you know, catching feelings when that might not last long term? But I don't feel any one way. I'm by no means looking for another relationship this second. But at the same time, I'm not somebody who's gonna who's gonna you know avoid one if something unfolds in a way you're actually i would encourage a friend to date you i'd be like you know if you're the right one he'll make an exception he'll snap out of it i feel like you thank you because you're kind of ready i mean obviously you were ready to settle down and like find someone is it hard dating in l.a like is it as hard as everyone says like what's without it has

not been hard I mean knock on wood I have a lot of wood in front of me I didn't mean that the way it sounded I just have you know cabinets here in front of me um I uh it has not I mean luckily and I really think it's like the universe like wanted me to not be that depressed after the breakup like i've had a streak of luck that has really like made me feel very much better about the breakup and i've been able to spend time with some people and and like realize there's a whole world out there again and it has made it a lot easier definitely at least when i'm hanging yeah you know what I mean? Here's my question is that,

and I'm always projecting because I always, I never dated a guy that I wouldn't want to be their girlfriend. I mean, I don't even think, maybe if I was going on first dates that I met on a dating app, I'd be like, well, I don't know this guy, so we'll see. But if I was like ready to bed you, I was like ready to be your girlfriend. And so I always ask my guy friends,

like, how do you sleep with women and them not get attached and not end up having them hate you and want to like, and have this turn where they're like, they were cool with being casual. You thought they were, you maybe had a talk, but it wasn't that clear. And then they changed their mind on you. I mean, you're, I know you're like me too and Noah to a degree as well. Like how do men go about and sleep with women and not leave a string of women hating them in their wake like me who got the wrong message or who changed it in my head?

Yeah, I mean, is that it? I don't know because- I think Jesse is a little more- 56 year old women. Yeah, no, I'm all over the range right now and first tip I would give you is maybe try to frame it in your head in a way where you're not thinking I'm about to bed this man like you are a Victorian queen what are you in in in the renaissance I'm about to bed him to be you know discreet but yes mean, every single time that you go on a date with someone, the stakes are high.

I mean, the stakes are we're at least going to like like fucking is generally the goal. Like if this goes great, we're going to want to fuck each other. And then in our head, it's we're going to marry this guy. I mean, there's it's undeniable that that is on the table and that you can't keep that in your subconscious. Otherwise, you wouldn't do it. No girls are going on dates just to like, even if they say, I'm just dating. I don't really want a boyfriend. I don't really believe them.

I think that everyone's kind of looking out for the one. And I think that's a lot of pressure. And then if there's good chemistry, you certainly are going to start daydreaming about them being the one. Maybe I'm crazy, but I always did. No, I think probably that's true if it starts maybe on a normal date, if it's properly going out. But some of the opportunities that I've stumbled into, like I'll meet somebody at an event or something or we're all out drinking and like so then it's like all right well it's not too weird to like you know go home with somebody if you've already both been drinking and it's clearly it wasn't set up to be this romantic

thing if you weren't drinking that you would have as many hookups as you've had i mean like how much does drinking play a role in hooking up i would absolutely not have and alcohol is a big part i mean i was talking to a friend of mine about this who's doing who's been sober for a few months he's like it's been very hard to date i wish that wasn't the case but like when both parties are a little buzzed i think that maybe is kind of the answer to what you're saying is like if a girl's a little buzzed too she's thinking more sexually than maybe normally and she's not thinking all about romance and bedding prince charming and victorian castle as much she is but you're gonna get that later on when she's not thinking all about romance and bedding prince charming and victorian castle as much she

is but you're gonna get that later on when she's sober and that's the problem is that i mean like do you feel like any of these girls have like kind of followed up or are they the type of girls that like are used to this kind of thing and like they they know the drill you get well and then you don't hear from them again like do they or do you have you left girl have you had to have those conversations of like i'm not really looking for something right now i've had so many of those directed at me that it's just i can't imagine women get to go out and about and like not get hurt by hooking up i just can't believe it well firstly you know i try to be as kind as i can so i'll keep giving it to them you I'm not trying to cut anybody out.

But if they're catching feelings, the wood. I'll keep sleeping with them. I don't need to. I heard, right? Yeah, I'm not trying to have one-offs too much necessarily. If somebody wants some repeat business, I all right to offer a public service you know because you you have sex so you have sex repeatedly with someone and you start to have this intimacy and they start thinking about you and you know in those quiet times and they start fantasizing

and then there's little you've had been through it before for sure where the girl just says something a little like just throws out a little dangles a line of like oh if we were dating or like you're my boyfriend or just where you go oh no oh no well i think the key in those moments is that's when you have to be honest is you have to say you have to a one move is like let that comment kind of sit for 20 30 seconds and like show that it made you a little bit uncomfortable and then say like i just want to be clear like i'm not at the moment looking for anything serious not that that's not possible but just so you know it's like making me it's making me have anxiety i mean we know you're out of a relationship we know that you're not looking for anything you told us all

of that we think we can change you. We think we, like I said- You might be able to. You might be able to. That's the confusing part. Well, not when you say something like that, that's like you put up the Heisman and you are like, no, this is-

But the only reason- I'm saying it right now directly. You're not giving consent to us to take you on our little relationship path. You are saying no. But the reason that I'm saying it, and I think I at least try to say it with a bit of an open door on it. I'm just saying it so that you know that this may not likely lead there, but it may. I'm not ever saying, just so you know, there's no chance I'm going to get in a relationship.

I'm just saying I'm not looking for that. I mean, there's definitely been girls where you're like, I like banging you. And I'm not saying get in a relationship. I'm just saying, I'm not looking for that. I mean, there's definitely been girls where you're like, I like banging you, but it's, and I'm not saying you're like at fault. I want to be clear. Like I'm not, Ben,

you mislead women. I'm just saying, how are women not getting hurt all the time? Sleeping around with Ben Glebe. He's charming. He's cute. I bet you are pretty good in bed. Like you've had experience.

You're an emotional person. That's the thing, Ben, you're an emotional person. I can see you like holding a girl's face and being like you're so beautiful baby and like being like when you're drunk i can see you so getting like lovey-dovey like boyfriendy yes and i mean it would be impossible for a girl do you have like feelings or do women have hurt feelings around you have you experienced that? I'm generally pretty lucky to do it. I mean, I think part of maybe the benefit of not being like an asshole guy is that it's like I am very complimentary and I try to be very sweet.

And I think, but I'm also just honest and I think they also just can tell they're not getting anything false for me and so i think i'm very sweet but but but people then know that if even if i don't necessarily call right after or if we don't make plans immediately right after it's nothing against them i'm not trying to be mean it's just i'm going through a thing and they understand and then we'll check in and we'll text said there could be a girl that would break through it it is personal and that's and i know you're i know it's not. Like, I know the circumstance. Yeah, it's not about them. And not every person, but boy, does it feel that it is. I mean, I will tell you one very weird experience that I just had, though.

So the first person that broke the seal, so to speak, after my breakup, it was a drunken night after a gig I did. It was like a private party gig. Oh, yeah. I was supposed to go to that? No, it was a different one. Was that down?

Oh, okay, okay. That was a different one. That was the other night, which also ended the date. I definitely saw that night. I saw your Instagram stories. I was like, oh, this guy might be engaging in a foursome.

Yeah, listen, I'm just trying to have fun, but the point is, the first person that I slept with after my breakup, I, you know, kind of conveniently for where I was in my head, because it was immediately after the breakup. Not immediately. It was weeks and weeks later. I don't want my ex thinking if she hears this that I immediately did anything. She's not coming back.

Don't worry. Okay. I'm curious how long it was. Really? Weeks and weeks? Okay. It was weeks and 14 days and the least amount of time there could be to call it weeks

it was a couple of weeks in dog years the point is um i uh she was likely leaving for a trip the next day for like a couple of weeks so i didn't have to call and it was obviously weird but then you know I started hanging out with other people after that and I didn't hit her up and and one thing I do feel bad about she did message me it's very unlike me actually but she messaged me about wanting to hang out again like weeks later because I had messaged her I thought about her her her on something and I messaged her and she wrote back she's like I'd love to hang again I just didn't reply to that and I always reply to everything but i didn't reply i just i got distracted and i didn't know what to say and i thought about it and i didn't reply and i almost never do that but i was doing

a show four or five nights ago and i did a joke about our encounter and the show ends and she comes up to me she was in the crowd. Was it bad? I'll tell you the exact joke. I'll tell you the exact joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was not great. It was not great. The joke was, it was a pretty vulnerable joke too.

The joke was, you know, I haven't had sex with anybody other than my ex-fiance in a half decade. The climate's changed a bit. You know, it's all good, but you need to like be a little more sensitive these days. So we were having sex and I was making what I would describe as bear noises. And I don't need to act them out for you, but they were kind of bear noises. In the middle, she says to me, I just need to check in with you right now. And so in the middle of me going like, I had to go

right back to the bear noises she wanted to check back in to know that i wasn't like just all about the sex i think and like she was still a human connecting to a human yes guys maybe can get a little carried away and like oh we're fucking right now. And this is like a riot or whatever, you know? I need to like, make sure you know I'm in the room. I'm not just like a whole. Yeah.

What did she say? And so I, you know, I smiled and we finished. It was all good. And I was like, she's finally going right back to bear noise as long as she knew that there was still a connection. And so she came up to me after the show and I was like stunned and I gave her a hug. And I'm like, you look great great and then she texted me afterwards she was like i hope it's okay that i came to your show

i just think you're hilarious and i wanted to hang and like and uh that was definitely a first for me being referenced in an act like that from our encounter unless another girl said that to you in which case it's an issue you might want to work on, LOL. That's good. I like this girl. I like that. It was cute. It was cute. She definitely loved being referenced.

I would love it if I was referenced in someone's joke. I had that happen once. You didn't do anything wrong. You did? Thank you. I wrote a song about a guy, and this was years ago. We had had a very romantic weekend weekend and I liked him so much. And then I just never heard from him again.

And he was my friend's brother. So I would kind of always know him because he was my friend's brother. I wrote one song about him. I never played it live except one time. I played it live like a year and a half later in a coffee shop at a coffee shop gig in one of my early gigs. And I remember introducing the song it was called lincoln continental and i said something like this is about a very cute guy i liked and had on went on a date and you know never really heard from him again and we had a

very romantic weekend don't know whatever happened to that asshole then i play the song and then after the gig he's there and he was like i surprise you. And just, I just wanted to say hi. I couldn't believe, I was kind of mortified because he wasn't totally an asshole. He just ghosted. Well, yeah, again, in your head that you made him into an asshole when really it was probably a situation of like, he just didn't have the same feelings that you had.

And he thought he communicated that. And he didn't go, like ghosting, I feel like we toss that around a lot, but like how often do you really, you write to them a question or something and you just hear nothing? Yeah. We probably ghosted each other.

Yes. Did you have sex in the back of a Lincoln Continental? Yeah. Why was it called that? Because that would maybe be one little clue that it wasn't the most serious of hookups. No, I don't think that we went all the way,

but we did have fun in the continental it was so weird that he came and like it was that night it was just so bizarre i was just felt like it was a cosmic yeah of all of all the times yeah it's i don't know that that's happened to me but i think that um just i mean someone coming to your she that she clearly still likes you and she definitely was like dazzled by the fact that you wrote about her. And it wasn't anything bad. She just was saying that she, you know, you were just saying, you didn't say anything mean about her pussy or something that a lot of,

I'm sure a lot of women have gone to Chris D'Elia's show and been like, you might talk about me. And then it's like they catch something that you're like, oh, that's me. Or, you know, like, I'm sure there have been girls that have been devastated by things they've heard there i mean i've seen guys do comedy on conan and talk about their wives in ways that i'm just like this is humiliating um and i've certainly done that before too when i'm hurt you know like you write a joke about or a song on you like where you're like he didn't really do anything wrong i just like was hurt we have a

mutual friend who just like the same kind of thing he was hooking up with a girl he didn't have the same kind of feelings that she did he let her down gently and then she fucking hates him now and like just is constantly bullying him and like getting other people to hate him and we were gonna giving him advice about it and i'm like i've done this so many times this has nothing to do with whatever she's saying she's trying to get you cancelled for like whatever shit that you've posted about or your comedy or calling you a phony it's cause you didn't

like her that's all this is about you've done this to people that's not okay yes it's so not okay it's so not okay I've apologized I've made amends to those people to that person that I did that to. But I was just so – I mean, he didn't handle it in the greatest way, and there were definitely problems with how he did things on his side. But the venom with which I hated him afterwards and tried to rally other people to hate him was purely from a place not of anything other than just feeling rejected and

being so mad that i loved this person and they didn't love me back and it's like it just it's just this young person's response or a dumb person like i see a lot of women like i have guy friends and i see women in their late 30s behaving this way in the into their 40s and i go this is something you get out of in your 20s i would hope i mean I was probably 32 when it 34 so I guess now I was pretty late to the game I was a late bloomer like just getting hurt I that's why when I talk to my male friends and they have the casual hookups I'm always like how are you not leaving a wake of just angry women behind you I don't think I've hardly ever I don't think I've ever really pissed off a woman in that way. You would know.

Oh, yeah, I would know. I mean, I just think it's with being kind and expressing yourself honestly. I don't think it's fair for somebody to expect that every hookup or even every dating for a few weeks is going to lead to a relationship. And I think people that are mature kind of understand that. If a guy tells you, I am not am not just so you know this isn't anything serious listen right it's very crucial we all think that we can change them and also we start having you know i've talked about this ad nauseum but like you when you have sex with a guy the chemical things happen that take over your logical brain and it doesn't matter what you know to be

true it doesn't matter what he's told you and that logic is out the fucking window when you let when you have good sex with someone and feel like and start to like them it doesn't matter you're gonna you're gonna start fantasizing about a life with them and get hurt every time i see young girls like even my niece poppy i'm just like the world of hurt she is in for. And even boys, too, obviously, Ben, you're going through it. I look at children now, and instead of being like, man, they have such great lives ahead of them. They get to go to high school. I used to be jealous that they get to go to high school, and they get to just still enjoy cartoons. They get riled up by, they get to have candy. That's exciting to them.

They don't have to pay taxes. And now I just think, oh, they're just going to have, they have to learn so many lessons and it bums me out for them. It's true. Yeah, I hear that. I mean, as you did your list until taxes, I'm like, I still do every one of those things now.

I'm enjoying cartoons. I had a bag of Skittles two nights ago with children's cereals late night. But then you feel fat the next day when you're a kid you're just like the whole time i was hating everybody i'm like i'm a horrible person like the unbridled like candy is just candy it's only just sugar and happiness it's not hating yourself afterwards it's not like there's no as a child i don't know maybe there's our children who feel like they hate themselves. I think given your circumstance, you can have bad self-esteem.

But as a kid, I didn't compare myself to other people. I didn't worry about what I put in my body. I didn't dread things. I mean, there was certainly like, oh, the end of summer, school again. Like, oh, this sucks. But there wasn't this overwhelming sense of like, I don't know. I'm just feeling it this morning. You know what? Let's put a pin in this conversation. Let's get back to this right where we left off right after this. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges

and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How To Money will help you to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money

so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Quest Love Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody. Every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements and some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed, you know,

keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations. Like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker, Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend, Nick Lowe. And I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata Matreya, Kathleen Hanna, and The RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else, so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. this idea in my podcast, Mini Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to many questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Okay, we're back.

All I want to do is sleep. I just want an escape from things to do. And I'm having trouble finding happiness in the climb, in the experience like i'm doing kelly clarkson tomorrow and i'm dreading it because i don't know what i'm gonna talk about yet i hate all my jokes i'm in this like very negative phase of like i don't even want to do my jokes on kelly clarkson because then people will come see me on tour and be like we already saw this i kind of know this and they won't know where they heard, but they'll think she's just doing old material.

I also I don't have it in me right now to come up with new stuff. I have to go to a fitting. I'm just feeling like kind of dry and my spray tan sloughing off. And I'm like, I just everything about it is bumming me out. And I know I'm going to do it. I'm going to have a blast. And then it's going to be over. And I'm going to have this glossy clip that I can put up and be proud to be like, look what I did, America.

I'm still relevant. Put me in things and give me more work that I can dread. It's like, what am I doing? This is what this is. All I want is for more people to get more work and to be more well-known or whatever it is. And yet every time I get something, I dread it. Well, that's one thing that I try to help you with sometimes. I mean, just try to remind you to appreciate it.

I mean, you're at the top of the world right now. You're where everyone wishes they would be in this entertainment industry. You get to do every show. You get to be in every single thing. You're so in demand. And most people wish they could be experiencing what you're experiencing, especially people pursuing it. And also you're just hilariously funny and charming. So you can also just go on and riff these things.

I don't even have to burn jokes. You can just go and riff and, and you're pretty damn good. I mean, you can call her out and make fun of things on her desk and talk about someone in the audience or someone that you met backstage that was worked on the crew that had a funny thing on. You're great at all that stuff.

You're great at making observations. Let's talk about everything you talked about here today. Yeah, talk about my breakup and how I'm clearly breaking hearts of people. Bring that up. Talk about Ben's fucked up relationship. Thank you, Ben.

You've given me so much material today. Yeah, I just have to decide just what I'm going to do as soon as we end this podcast is I'm going to get back in bed. I'm i'm gonna close all the curtains shut the lights off and i'm just gonna think about the kelly clarkson call that i have to have and come up with some that's like how and they'll probably fall asleep and then wake up and be like oh fuck i missed the call like that's probably what's gonna happen but i just want to go back to sleep where like i don't know

last night i was in a field holding hands with dav David Letterman and then he bit my hair and was chewing my hair and then he spit it on Alonzo Bowden's coat. And that was my dream and it was awesome. And that was a better life. He was chewing your hair and then he bit some of it out? Ladies and gentlemen, today I'll be a bidding Nikki Glazer's hair and then spitting it on the great Alonzo Bowden, everybody. And he spit it on Alonzo's wool coat. And we were in line to be, to go on Andrew Santino's talk show. And we were all waiting in line.

And then I took his spit because I remember when he was holding my hand, I was like, no one's going to fucking believe that David Letterman's like trying to fucking cop a feel right now and hold my hand. And like, and I was like, and then he bit my hair and I go, no one's no one's gonna believe this either and then he and he spit it on Alonzo's coat I grabbed it because I was like I have his DNA and my hair to and then how much hair it didn't bother me usually like obviously losing my hair is like my biggest fear but it was like I was wearing my hair up in a ponytail so it was just the top scalp and it was just like a little a little bit like it just I don't know I It didn't bother me. I know what this is. I already know what this is.

What is this? When were you last wearing your hair up? A couple days ago, I think. Oh, I guess for the Critics' Choice Awards. And you were surrounded

by celebrities and you were waiting in a line and they didn't let you in on the red carpet. They made you go downstairs. In real life, they made her,

they told her the red carpet was closed. She has to go to a step and repeat down in the fucking carpet. They made you go downstairs. In real life, they made her, they told her the red carpet was closed. She has to go to a step and repeat down in the fucking basement. So this dream is about fame, about your place in the world of fame. Your worst fear is somebody taking your hair out, but it's an icon. So he like is being sexual with you,

takes your hair, spits it. And then who's Alonzo Bowden to you? He's another comedian. A respectable, strapping, handsome, been around forever, one last coming standing, friendly guy. I don't know. Like someone I respect,

but who isn't like the most famous, but who is definitely respected in comedy. I don't know like someone i respect but who isn't like the most famous but who is definitely respected in comedy i don't know i don't know what he is to me he's wearing a wool camel coat i mean this all checks out we were waiting for andrew santino's show and as we were waiting for his talk show i was like why can't i come up with a talk show like this like the whole time i was just like why did he and instead of a talk show it was like a projected on a wall like a desk was a it was all a projection and i was like oh that's an interesting idea and now i realize i came up with it it was my dream i created that tv show i should have i should you know get a uh a credit for it um but yeah i mean i think all of that is true i felt as you're saying that,

Ben, of like, you're at the top of your game, people would want to be you. I feel that some days. And then I think going to that, and people heard me talk about it yesterday, and it's such like first world problems, like where, where, but just feeling so small in that room, like, just feeling like no matter what I do, I'll never be as big as any of these people and as worshipped and as like and not that I even want that and that was another thing is like the thing that I think I want I don't even want because at the same time I was having this it was a paradox of like I want to be more known because no one cares about me in this room I'm fucking in the same room as Julia Roberts I mean nothing it's like me I could be a cater waiter and it would

be the same like I'm closer to their level than julia roberts like and not that there's any i'm just talking about status on a very superficial level don't come at me i'm a cater waiter i'm just saying it i felt so unimportant but at the same time i don't like the worship of julia roberts she's just a person that had was born with a pretty skull and good skin and is able to portray strangers better than other people. It's not really a skill that has any kind of redeemable quality outside of the society we're leaving in now. Like, Conan often references, like, in another world, like, the turn of the century, take any century besides the recent one he his skill would have been worthless like just being like a the court jester like he wouldn't be the most famous person he would just be a guy you know like the caterer is more important because you die if you don't

eat you don't you die if you don't eat food but downtown abby he doesn't have a place i just that show has to be called downtown abby. I hate that it's Downton, but I'm sure that's been well-trodden territory. I've only watched one episode. It's very annoying. Because Theo James was in it. And then he died and I go, I'm done. But I have several issues with the whole premise

of what you just said, which is, I think that, I mean, it was very cute, your posts about being next to Julia Roberts and you sitting at the table and she was just here and touching my chair and everything. But if you had had the confidence just to go up to her, say, hi, I think you're awesome. She probably would have been like, oh my God, I love you and everything you're doing. She probably does know who you are. And she probably, I mean, best example, you said you're nowhere near these people like

worshiping you or caring about you. It's not true at all because, I mean, look at Chelsea Handler, who I'm still friends with, I used to be very close with when I was on her show and we would hang out all the time and like every celebrity on earth idolizes her. A party at her house and like Gwen Stefani and Sandra Bullock and Charlize Theron and Jane Fonda are all at the party being like, oh my God, Chelsea just walked by. Chelsea just did this. I was at one point talking me, Jane Fonda and Chelsea Handler in a little triangle. And then Jane whispers something in Chelsea's ear.

Chelsea makes a disgusted face and walks off without replying to her. And icon of our time, of many generations jane fonda turns to me insecurely and says was it something i said i never know what to think with with that woman what what's going on in her head and i was like thank god it's not just me that responds that way to chelsea it's even fucking jane fonda and so everybody has that issue and just realize that if you remind yourself we're all the same even Julia Roberts in that moment is the same and realizes probably because she seems like a nice person that she's the same

and then I mean it did help soften the blow minutes later that Jane and I did Molly together but the point is really? yeah yeah oh my god she's so cool it was her first time doing Molly too it was really fun oh my god wait where did the evening go? I've never done Molly Oh my God, she's so cool. It was her first time doing Molly too. It was really fun. Oh my God. Wait, where did the evening go?

I've never done Molly. We just got really high. And then I called next to play Edward Norton ping pong next. He was playing ping pong against some dude. And then Jane Fonda's like, oh, I have to see that. I'm like, why? She's like, I want to see you playing ping pong on Molly. And so I'm playing ping pong with Edward Norton.

All of a sudden, halfway through the game, this icon, Jane Fonda, Barbarella just plops down on a couch and is watching us play ping pong. She's so cool. And then like I lost, I lost 21-16. And I said, let's run it back. And he's like, why don't you find somebody more at your skill level? And I was like, that's hurtful.

And then he said later, he's like, don't worry. I studied under a Chinese master when I lived in China. I'm like very Edward Norton sounding thing to say. Oh my God. No kidding. Yeah. And then I gave in China. I'm like, very Edward Norton sounding thing to say. Oh my God, no kidding. Yeah. And then I gave some drugs. I gave some Molly to Matthew Broderick,

who then left before I got to put my baggie away. And I'm like, Matthew, get back here. And he's like, what? I'm like, I'm putting my baggie away. You can't take the drugs and then leave me exposed with the bag out. He's like, sorry, I didn't know. I'm new at this or whatever.

And so I made him stay until I put it away in my pocket. It was a wild night. It was a fun night. That is so cool. This is just Ben's dream from last night. Not only was it not a dream, not to rub this in Nick, but last night I fucked David Letterman, just so you know. I get it.

I mean, I understand. But at the same time, I think that is so lame to have, whenever I see celebrities bragging about being friends with all these celebrities, I don't really think they're real friends. I think it's all just a show. And then that depresses me. It's like I'd rather just be with my close friends that I can actually talk to and we can show each other our vaginas.

And there's been – I thought you and I were close, Nick. Someday, Ben. I don't want to get attached though um no i bear noises um i just feel like i've ruined myself to all your listeners you're like i'm out bear most men make bear noises i felt like that was actually a good description i was like thank you okay good yeah i'm just like waking up from a hibernation i'm just kind of like being roused um but yeah i just feel like i don't know this is the the dumbest conversation for me to complain about any of this stuff but it's just it there's just a point in my life where i'm like the things i've pursued that the my goals are all based on a superficial thing to me i feel like and like last night i was

with my friend's uh son leon he's like a little baby and he remembered me from like i've seen him like three times in his life and he's nine months old and he remembered me and was like crawling on me and just like laying his head on me and then he his little hand was like gripping me and i like was zooming in on his hand. Just like, like, just like trying to like grabbing onto, like holding onto me.

And I was like, that is what, that is cooler to me than any celeb encounter. Like that's, that's what makes me happy. And I hate to sound like that's really what this is about. It's about nature and family and friends. Like,

but it really is like, why am I not pursuing babies grabbing at me more? I guess. I mean, can I just say, if one of the girls I was sleeping with said that story, I would not text again. Maybe it's the truest thing he said all day. Yeah.

I mean, that's a good sign. That's good to know. I mean, that's not a good sign. No, that's good to know. I mean, I'm mostly joking, but I mean, it's not something you want to hear on date one or two. It's like, the only happiness I get is my hand being gripped by a young baby. I'm like, all right, well, let's slow

it down. But I don't want a baby. Another paradox is like, that's what brings me the most joy, yet I don't want a baby. It's like these constantly- Then I would text back. Then I would text back. He just changes his mind. I just want to hold random baby's hands

and then get the fuck out of there. And I leave just awake of disappointed babies that hate me and expected more from me. Yeah, I just feel like, I don't know. I'm just i every time i come to la i struggle with this because this town tends to overwork me i think that not getting enough sleep not getting enough just like quality time with friends um and just feeling like you have to look a certain way and like everyone here is on ozempic and everyone's thin everyone is constantly going

to some kind of rumble boxing class or like a spin class what is a rumble i don't know i walk by this place all the time that's like rumble fitness and it's just like hot girls going in and out with cropped sweatshirts and where is the class on sunset between pink dot and fucking the store right here where you read nikki a poem i didn't read them i let her do her own reading yeah she let me read them and i had to like it was the stress of like okay i have to read this and actually like commit it to mine but i also have to remember to make fun of him for this later on there's a lot going on in my mind in that moment um yeah i mean these are like the constant things that i have but it's all because i'm just stressed out about kelly clarkson

which all of a sudden showed up on my schedule because someone dropped out and so it's just like a thing and i just don't feel prepared as long as i get prepared i'll be great but um i need more caffeine in me i mean need more i just need I just need something to snap me out of this. Maybe I need to meditate, do some breath work, make a gratitude list. Something needs to, I need to snap out of this. But also I think you need to remind yourself that. Go through a breakup, feel alive. I think all of that busyness is a choice.

You need to remind yourself that. You do more stuff than most people do because you're a very kind person and you say yes to everything, to a lot of things you're asked to do and every single podcast. And you don't need to do any of those things. You don't need to do Kelly. I mean, you need to do Kelly Clarkson now because you said yes. But you don't need to do any particular talk show if you took one or five off, if you weren't in the media for six months that would

not do anything negative to you what are you no it wouldn't six months would do nothing everyone loves and remembers you i'm telling you it's all a choice it's all a choice there's definitely something to be said by for doing the things something to be said for being a little more mysterious and not doing all the things so my only point with that is that definitely you don't have to say yes to every podcast and every single show. And if you said to Kelly Clarkson, oh, I'm not ready this week. I'd love to do it in the next couple of months. They would book you in two months and it would be fine. They would probably like me more. I mean, I struggle with that like too available type thing because you feel like-

That's my point. So if you're choosing to do things, just remind yourself every time, it'll help you get up for it, that it's a choice and you won't dread the things as much because you truly don't have to be doing it. Like when I started stand up, like three years in, I one day just all of a sudden got really tired of saying the same jokes over and over again. And I was like, oh no, what am I going to do? My whole life now is going to be repeating my own thoughts over and over again. And then I thought about it for a week and I thought, I realized what a privilege to be able to just have funny thoughts I thought of

that I get to say and I get to choose to tell them or I can choose to tell different ones or do crowd work. I don't have to do it. And I never got tired of it again because I realized it's a choice. Even though we want to like hate on it and think negatively,

it actually is a choice that we're making over and over again. So each time you choose it. No, it's absolutely one choose it no i had a call with my my team on a zoom like a couple weeks ago and i was like i want to be a regular on kelly clarkson that has to happen in 2023 like that's a goal i love that show i see clips all the time they look cool she's amazing i always have fun on that show i always kill it on that show and then the next week they're like kelly clark so we booked it i'm like not now like i wanted in 2023 which is supposed to be a couple of years from now like i i want to do all these things and then they arrive and you're like oh i gotta fucking do them and i mean i think that's where everyone relates to that whether

you sign up for a workout class you sign up for yeah if you tell your team i want the thing and they go then get it for you that's's a little different. No, they did their due diligence. I don't even know what that word means, but they do that. And then I feel, and I want to just say with Kelly Clarkson, I do want to do that. The podcast I did yesterday, I did want to do it because it was about, I got to read a book and I do a book club podcast and I like that podcast. I've listened to it. And so I am choosing things that I want to do. There are things though that, yeah, you do because you're just like,

this is going to spread the word about my show. Do I want to have a call today with the Kalamazoo paper about my shows in Kalamazoo? Fuck no, I don't. Do I want to call a radio station in Joliet, Illinois? Probably not. That's not because I don't like those people. They're not good entertainers. But, like, the other day I had a radio interview and, final thought,

I had a radio interview the other day and they were like we interviewed you five years ago and i just want to say you're just as nice as you were then and now you're way more famous but you're still as nice as rare and i was like well that it shouldn't be rare but thank you for saying that and they go and i go i'm sure you guys see people change throughout the years because it's a radio station that's been on forever and they were like yeah we made some people's careers and then they don't even call in anymore they were like larry the cable guy used to come in call in three times a week and we haven't heard from him

and i go because it's not because he doesn't appreciate what you did he's fucking busy he can't do three times a week anymore and he was on his way up you got to do that stuff and so i was kind of like this is it made me think oh man if i if i turn down this radio station in the future their story will be nikki big time does she think she's too big for it right but what the story is is i just can't fit it all i would love to keep doing that show three times a week i'm sure larry would too when he had time it was what he did and i think that that also um weighs on me of you know even you know i can relate this to listeners who are like shit nikki shut up about you know your showbiz life you know you might have uh for i have

this in my own life my boyfriend and i talk about constantly like no one does anything anymore no one wants to hang out no none of our friends want to hang out people are just like they don't think to invite us to things you know and then i go it's because they have kids and families they they they it's not that they don't like us less they're just have less space in their brain for to remember to invite us and it's the same thing of like just not taking it personally and i think that really is what i have to work on more than anything is like not everything is a personal attack to me that's almost like being in that room at the critics choice and just being like you're

insignificant even thinking about myself in those terms it's like no one cares about you that's my problem but also who cares that no one cares about you that's also like it's it's self-serving to even think that people should care about me even though I don't want that like it's so dumb but it's also like it's it's self-serving to even think that people should care about me, even though I don't want that.

Like it's so dumb. But it's also the opposite because there's probably a good chance Julia Roberts is like, I haven't had a hit in a long time. I see that Nikki girl on everything. And she didn't win her category. And she's there. You don't go to the Critics' Choice Awards if you're nominated unless you think I might win. Like if you thought you were going to lose or or had any inside info you would not be there it's embarrassing to lose when you're in person your face is up there and the camera's on you and then

they say someone else's name and then the cameraman slowly like pans to go to someone else that's so embarrassing so yeah she probably had those same moments too even though she looked like 25 and was flawless and radiant and um definitely the bell of the ball um yeah but i think you should just talk on kelly clarkson about this moment where you're sitting at the table and julia roberts is right behind you and then your face is so priceless it's so funny. This could be a 10 minute segment. Just like tell us everything that's going on in your mind right here. That's the poster for like

your Candice Bushnell series. It really is. Oh my God, that's a good pitch. It's a great. That's a really good idea. What would it be called? On the sidelines. Table 27.

Oh, that's good. I've had a title for a million years I wanted to do called Nontourage oh that's great yes it's really good

it's opposite of entourage it's like the real story it's like you go home alone and like you're trying to do the things and you don't get all the big things and there's no Vince

you know yes there's no Vince that is a like I should spin this into a show and you could still show yeah and you could still have

the brother Johnny Drombo just for some reason is also your brother and he appears every episode and just goes

sorry bro just you know his only two words he ever said on that show sorry bro that was really good

Ben Gleib thank you so much for being here I love you so much I hope that I get to see you on this trip

I'm leaving Thursday I don't know that I will you didn't even know you're in la well i guess i realized i know i didn't tell you because i just didn't have time i knew that i would you would obviously be a person i would hang out with if i had time thursday is several days away we could maybe squeeze it in it is several days away keyword um yeah let's squeeze it in we'll text each other i gotta go to a fitting now and then get back in bed and think about Kelly Clarkson. Watch me on that tomorrow. See what I come up with.

I can't wait. And I love you too, by the way. And you are the best. And thank you for having me. I love you so much. You're such a dear friend. So good to meet you too. This is the last. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too. And this has been very nice. Noah, it's wonderful to see you. Follow him on things. He's hilarious. Check out his Instagram lives things he's hilarious he check out his instagram um lives where he's singing karaoke alone to 18 people my fans love an instagram live and i am i go live on our account all the time and there's like 30 people there and it's

sometimes i sometimes put a sticker over the number ben so that i like don't think about it it's really a good idea because it can make make you sad. All my brain thought was, that's the one that's going to have a thousand viewers. And I'll never know. I know. You can look at the very end. One time I did, I went on TikTok live for the first time.

And so, and I started off frame and it was like 700 viewers. And I was so excited. I'm like, whoa. And the second I stepped on frame, it just dropped. It was the most demoralizing

it was so people would rather watch a blank wall than have me entertain them I rarely do this but you post a story and I'll be like this is actually a good one I wonder like if this would be what I could do on TikTok or something and I'll watch I'll look at the analytics

of it and it shows how many people clicked forward like just went past it how many people exited out of your story how many people went back like that's what i wanted is the number of people going like oh i want to watch this again it's like two i was like it would be like thousands i was like this is entertaining people just go it's the worst tinks uh this girl that i follow tinks did an impression of like when when when when you think when you say he watches my instagram stories like oh my god he's like been watching my instagram stories what it really looks like and it's just a guy going like

and like just clicking it so fast and he's on a toilet on a toilet yes it's like it it's never is what you think it's so embarrassing that someone would like be watching my face and like click off of it. Even though I do that to everyone all day. I do it to both of you and it doesn't mean anything. Oh, thanks so much. Didn't know that until now. No, it means love.

And another horrible metric is the one that tells you watch time. You think the view counts you're getting are real views and it's like a one minute video. It's only a fucking minute long. And the average watch time, nine seconds. You didn't even get to the first thought. You didn't even get to the first joke. Now I know why you two are a little prone to depression. I didn't even know about these analytics.

I looked at it one time and I go, I mean, I'm better at not reading comments than fucking anyone. I don't look at any of that stuff. I wouldn't be here with us today if I read that stuff. If I looked at my likes and followed how many how many followers i lose i literally would have killed myself but i'm not kidding you i would not be alive right now because it's so depressing so it's rare that i don't seek the stuff out it was just one time i looked and i go

i will never go back it was pandora's box of hell and and then i hear on Twitter, there's a new button that shows you, or there's a new thing that shows you how many people have seen your tweet. It used to just be like if they liked it. Now you can see how many people saw it versus the number of likes and how many people did not like it. Unreal.

I hate that stuff too, but I just honestly use it to make me stronger. I look at that stuff and it makes me feel kind of bad, but I really feel like I'm taking it on his arm. I use it to make the rope stronger that I'm tying to a fucking sprinkler system. To a sprinkler

system? I'm just trying to think of what do you rig a rope to? I just picture lawn sprinklers. Someone trying to kill themselves and just being jetted around the front. Just being sent everywhere with this rope, not being killed, but just being like a dog, like thrown around a yard.

You guys haven't looked at enough ceilings to consider what you'd hang yourself off of. You weren't in my frame of mind. But it says you can't even put a hanger on it. How could you possibly? I know, that's a good point. Well, I mean like the piping. I wish, to be more specific,

this is why I'm going to bomb on Kelly. My jokes aren't good. I'm not good off this, I'm not good riffing. I'm just going to end it all. And by that, I just mean this podcast. And I'll see you on Kelly Clarkson tomorrow. This was so much fun. No, don't end it yet.

One more sentence before you end it, because that's exactly how you see it wrong. Because you were so, I'm sorry if anybody's ever forcibly not let you end your own podcast before. Sorry. But that's exactly how you see it wrong, because you just riffed so funnily. It was the best back and forth. You're going to get canceled someday someday because they're going to go, Ben Glebe wouldn't let her end her podcast in 2023.

And it's going to be like 2045 when that is like, if a guy doesn't let you end your podcast, and then you're going to get canceled from once. And you're going to go, it was a different time back then. You can interrupt women. I don't mean to mansplain your podcast, but thank you all for listening to the. We were friends. You can interrupt women. I don't mean to, I don't mean to mansplain your podcast, but thank you all

for listening to the Nikki Glaser podcast. I really appreciate you guys being here and we'll see you again soon. Don't be scared. And jackpot. Joel, the holidays

are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find

anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B,

as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation.

Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star.

To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.