The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #315 My Brother's Husband w/ Matt Green

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

Nikki has got her brother in law Matt in studio and she's offering him odd flavor drinks she got from deep in her fridge. Nikki and Anya were once addicted to gum but now Nikki suggests treating it like a mint. Matt actually likes his thoughts and Nikki liked the ones she had over the weekend that turned her on. Kimmel's producer made a great point for discussion about The Bachelor being a cult. Matt talks about dressing his 6 year old son as a 100 year old. He also shares repeated bad luck with the family cars. They play a new segment called We Know Nothing... about World War I. Nikki and Anya talk about bad compliments and Matt lip reads what JLO said to Ben at the Grammy's. ---- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina   More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More producer Noa: IG Matt's Big Muddy Adventures: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him.

From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast! Coming at ya, first one of the week. Hope you had a good weekend, everyone. I sure did. We have the best show for you today. I'm so excited about it, I can't even stand it.

I was excited all weekend after we came up with this plan. Here in studio with me, I'm joined by Anya and Noah, of course. Anya Marina Avior Still not ever sure Even if you tell me The rules of football It doesn't stick but it should It's Avior

You know what sometimes it is and sometimes it's Avior I always forget that That's your policy on it It's so freeing to me That you don't expect me To ever get your last name right It's very nice of you And very That's why I love Noah

She's a very forgiving friend In studio with me though Is my brother-in-law One of the funniest people I know And I'm not setting you up I know that's setting you up To like fail Or like you can't live up to that

But you just naturally are Everyone knows it about you One of the best people I know My brother's husband The father of my nephew My brother's husband my sister's husband you don't know what she was before she met you i knew her as something else you met her after she you don't think i know that um it's matt green everyone uh welcome to the show hello everybody yay matt oh love that does that feel good yeah it feels great matt welcome to the show so i had you

came in with a beverage and and you were like have you tried this it's the new lacroix yeah it's the lacroix cherry blossom do you like to try a new LaCroix Because I'm into it Ever since Limoncello kind of blew my mind And I was like whoa a LaCroix could taste this good Some people hate it It's very diversive or dividing What's the word when it's like two things Polarizing

Divisive too maybe I don't know I don't know anything But Limoncello how do you feel about that one Limoncello is good okay but i also am not concerning i will drink them all what about coconut coconut's great really slather it on me wait a second how do you guys feel about coconut la croix is that pomple mousse or is that great no no no pomple mousse is grapefruit it's that's the orange can okay well i guess we're not talking to people who know their la croix's so i can't really have

an honest discussion but coconut is widely known as the most disgusting one. It tastes of suntan lotion smell. But I like it. It's just water. But I like, I used to compare it to cum. Because that's, no, it's not. I mean, no, but that's what I'm saying. Look, I will say pomplamoose, raspberry, plain even, lime, orange.

You're going to get the same kind of it doesn't matter but then there are these standout ones limoncello coconut and now i guess cherry blossom that go you can't not good stand out bad that's what i'm saying they stand people don't like them so can i take a sip and see what i feel it's like i won't because i hated coconut first grew into it it's like always loved limoncello okay here we go what is the Always loved limoncello. Okay, here we go. What is the difference between limoncello and lemon? It has like, it tastes like a cake almost.

Not this, sorry, limoncello. It tastes like, it tastes of like cake batter and lemon. You're just like, which is like kind of gross for like a sparkly drink, but it works.

That would have grossed me out prior to trying it. Hold on, let me try this again. So there's nothing alcoholic about limoncello? Like it doesn't even taste like alcohol? No, but limoncello. Like it doesn't even taste like alcohol. No, but Limoncello is an alcohol drink, right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's what I thought. I don't hate this. This is in the rest for me. You know what's weird? It's water. But to me, it tastes watered down.

Watered down water. Well, can I offer you a different drink? Because the only beverages I had to offer you in my fridge were a beer, which I thought, no, you can't. You're working today today thank you for taking time out of your work schedule but I have um a liquid death mango chainsaw okay wait hold on you're not done with my options mango chainsaw okay so it's like a hint these are not ads by the way these are drinks I have to offer and I'm just describing them I did get these from liquid chainsaw or

liquid death but if they are not associated with the show in any way but they did send me a case and I'm just describing them. I did get these from Liquid Chainsaw or Liquid Death, but they are not associated with the show in any way. But they did send me a case just of their new product. And I have to say, and it has only three grams of sugar for this whole can.

So there is sugar in it. So it feels better than like sipping Zevia's all day, you know? So I do like it. But we also have, I'm not selling these in any way. I don't care if you buy them. I don't care what happens.

So I'm just telling you, Bury It Alive, B-E-R-R-I, b-e-r-r-i b-e-r-r-y bury it alive so berry but i like mango chainsaw is such a great name yeah and then um i also have a new i like beverage from my friend yeah noah noah's seen them live like 19 times she has the t-shirt um they're like a they're like a jamaican death metal band there's like the mango part are mangoes in jamaica i don't know i just picked a fucking island where they might be some okay um and then we have a system which is a new energy drink like a hard seltzer but it's the zero it's the zero percent alcohol one and these are made by the man he did his company there's so many layers to that i know he sent me them anthony spina and he's an old friend from high school he's the first penis i ever saw he dated kirsten and one day i was like i've never

seen a penis and kirsten and him were in my bedroom we were just hanging out it was her first boyfriend and i was like i god i've never even one. I don't even know what they are. And he was like, do you want to see one? And I was like, I don't know. And then he was just like, look, here it is. And I was just like, oh. And I just got to see, like, it was, like, flaccid, too. Like, he just pulled out his, he was just like, we called him Ba-da-ba.

Because he was just like, Ba-da-ba. Like, it's going to happen. We're going to have it. So now he is, he started this, and he's a great guy. And it's called, it's an energy drink. I'm going to have one. I have two. Do you want to try them? Yeah, let's go for it. Okay, cool. So that an energy drink. I'm going to have one. I have two. Do you want to try them?

Yeah, let's go for it. Okay, cool. That was the drink test portion of our show. Wait, I think besties are going to wonder why there's a beer in your fridge. Why there's a beer? Oh, there's just like a sink for guests in case there's someone that comes over and goes. It's literally a single beer. It's in the corner just like kind of like the wallflower

at the party in my fridge just kind of like i don't know i don't really fit in here it's been there so long i'm trying to think of anything else in my friend that fridge has been there as long because i keep some ginger from iowa yeah an old root in the back yeah some old root in the back of my drawer that i never use how How do you feel about system? Yeah. It's good. It's not bad, right? Yeah.

Energy drinks, though, I got to watch it. Because they sometimes make my tongue bleed. They make your tongue bleed? Dude, I was so into Monster Energy. I remember that. Wait, it's the blue one. It would be the black can with the blue font. Dude, I'm not kidding you.

I would be like, I would talk about them like alcohol. I'm back on them. I can't. And they disintegrate your tongue tissue. It's like Trident gum. Did you ever have that? I had that with Trident Tropical Twist. I was addicted and both sides of my tongue were like falling apart.

And I was like, I got to get more. My teeth were hurting. I had surgery on my tongue from too much gum use. And that's why I quit gum. I haven't had gum since August 2020, bitches.

Hold on. Didn't you have like a bullfrog thing in there? Yes, ranula. Those who have listened to Wild know it. Look up a ranula. I had a ranula

from overuse of my duct. No, my duct got clogged because I chewed too much it. Look up a ranula. I had a ranula from overuse of my duct. No, my duct got clogged because I chewed too much gum. It calloused over. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so I don't do gum anymore because I can't stop. What a dumb thing to love. But I do think gum is stupid.

You just put this piece of trash in your mouth and you chew it. You don't swallow it. It literally is not supposed to be ingested. What are we doing? Sometimes I really need something though pocket pack but that's what i say i i will do gum i just let it softly dissolve in my mouth and then i spit it out as like i treat it like a mint i can't chew it and be like this is food um like wait you just let it sit there what yeah yeah i'll just like if my breath is rank and i'm about to meet someone i need to have good breath in front of i'll like in an emergency only people in the car have gum i will go just suck on the gum because it's an emergency you know i mean whoa i don't want to have so much i just need okay i need fresh putting a piece of

gum in your mouth and not chewing it is but i just treat it like a mint it's like i just go this is a mint and then i literally i thought it would be hard it's not i promise okay so at least for me i do the gum i mean i i need it for breath purposes obviously but to keep busy it's like an add thing yes so i like the gum for that purpose i do too and so i'll chew it always when i'm working out or when I'm running too. It like keeps me motivated. Really? And then my mouth stays Hydrated. Yeah. But then

Dave Grohl I swear this was not planned. Sings with performs with gum the entire time. So I have these What is that? These cinnamon toothpicks.

Wait give me one of those. I love those. Get me into these. They're amazing. I'm so scared of tripping and then falling and having the toothpick like go into my like fucking nose or something.

Okay, so this was- Yeah. Or someone hitting me in the face or something. I literally, think about that. No, so you're exactly right. So I would do the gum running. Okay. Then I started doing toothpicks and gum while running.

Whoa. And it would literally be running. And sometimes the toothpick would go into my mouth. Yes! I'm like, what am I doing? But it's simply like, just to take my mind off other stuff. Okay. Yeah, no, I get that. That's what I do. These toothpicks are sick. I mean, it's just, but you do,

it's interesting because I understand gum as like, it's something to do. Like, it literally is like, it's something to occupy my mind so that I don't do something worse or i mean what am i what am i running from in that in that scenario what are but then i also think you think of it as maybe a more dave grohl way of like it just i'm 80 like a fidget spinner whereas i'm like i don't want to be alone with my thoughts is it like that for you though no

i love my thoughts on you gum how i just love my thoughts. Anya, gum. What? I love my thoughts first on this show. What'd you say? What the fuck? You just said I love my thoughts. Wow. Who are you? What'd you do? I love my thoughts too.

Wait a second. I will say I like my thoughts. My thoughts can betray me, but I did some great fantasizing this week. Like my thoughts, I let my thoughts go this weekend and I did a really good job. I'm not someone who could ever like uh achieve an orgasm through my imagination like one of those

special ladies can do like conjure it i just could never just like think of something and jerk off i know boys can i know boys can and like refer to things in their life i need this weekend someone was giving me advice about it and they were like oh anya we were in florida and i was like i need to drink off tonight and i forgot my sex toy i'm sorry matt is this uncomfortable no it's not you're my like my friend so and i'm not i literally nothing about this i'm gonna be grotesque about but i if you are uncomfortable feel free to talk but see if you can get a word in um so we go to flor. I realize I need, I forgot my toy for the whole weekend. And it's just something I like to do on the road.

It calms me. It's fun. It's your toothpick. It's my toothpick. Yeah. Jogging. It's a very big toothpick. I would say that it's a huge, no, it's not too big.

It's just I need one thing. When I'm home, I really let loose and it's a whole smorgasbord. But I bring one thing on the road and it's contained. But I forgot it. I don't have another option. Do you hear what I'm saying? I cannot achieve what I need to achieve if I don't bring that thing. It is contingent on the thing.

And Anya goes, just use your hand and watch some porn. I go, oh, porn's's gonna be there no matter what because i again if the internet were down and i didn't have a toy i would never again i don't think i'd ever have an orgasm in terms of like you know without another person by myself mind-boggling to me by myself if you needed to have an orgasm and you didn't have your toy you could i was like there's no bath i was thinking maybe bath faucet, but I'm not getting up in that sink. And the water pressure wasn't good enough. I know what I need. Could you go down to the laundry room at the hotel

and just like sit on the dryer? No, no. I don't think that I've ever been into like that kind of, like when I saw that in movies and stuff, I think, remember the movie where the girl has sex on the dryer and it's like so much better. She's like, oh yeah. Vars really i mean it's like a hot idea but

this toothpick is fun but i don't think i don't knock enough cinnamon out of it oh just put on your lips your lips will burn them okay i'm not really selling it no i don't know how to i don't know how to use it But I do like it I wonder if it's distracting To listen to Alright so We had a lot to cover On the show

And I got distracted Wait can I interject Real quick I can't say I'm jerking off The whole time But yes I would love to Tie it in a little bow

The most ironic part Of this Matt Is that we're in Orlando Right next to An amusement park And Nikki looks up at a roller coaster after the show we're getting in the car and she goes hmm i came on a roller coaster once it was not that quick that i said it we were talking about roller coasters and i was matt and i

were sharing our favorites and he was like i don't really like them i like the smooth ones and i was like oh i realize i like like certainly let's talk six flags right now i'm talking to someone right now because i couldn't this weekend who knows the exact same roller coasters i know what kind of roller coaster guy are you and this is just a six flags thing and this is niche are you a screaming eagle guy are you a ninja guy or are you mr freeze like because those are three different no are you screaming eagle ninja batman or mr freeze because those are all different types of roller coasters don't you agree batman all the way. Batman all the way. It's a smooth.

This is what I'm talking about. It was a smooth 90s roller coaster. The steel smooth 90s ones. Legs hanging. Legs hanging. You are not. Your head isn't in a thing that's going back and forth a lot. That happened a lot.

That is the ninja. And I like ninja second place out of those. Ninja's garbage. Really? Yeah. Loop de loops? No. The ninja. Like literally. is the ninja and i i like ninja second place out of those ninja's garbage really yeah loop-de-loops no the ninja like literally i think i have cte from ninja no no the football industry where you were the injury where you murder your family from it's not funny at all like tmi no that thing or tm that rattled i don't tbi i haven't been in years there's no way it's still there or really i don't know that of course it is that jumbled you

okay go look up the ninja and if you've been on the ninja please write into the show and let us know what you think but no there's one roller coaster called the x factor at magic mountain six flags and i had my first orgasm on it. Like, no, my second ever. And I swear to God it happened. And I've looked it up and it happens to people. Because it's the G-forces. It's not like I was like, oh, yeah. It wasn't like seducing

me. There wasn't foreplay. It just all of a sudden, when it flipped, it was just like forced orgasm. It was crazy. And then I got off the ride and I was just like, I mean, I don't know if it happens to everyone on it but i have googled it i forget what i found in the past but moving on um where did i want to go from here oh i guess we have time for the bachelor thing real quick noah i think that would be fun um i on you you're still watching the

bachelor right yes i can't watch it. I've tapped out. I saw him on Kimmel, which, no, it was about to play a clip from it. Are you watching The Bachelor, Matt? I know you're not. You don't have time. You have kids. That's not why I'm not watching it.

Really? No, I can't watch The Bachelor. Ever? No. You've never been into? No. I think I said this to you the other day. I like FBoy Island because it's like funny.

Yeah. Like a love show that's funny. Milt Manor. That is like they're on the, to me, the Bachelor and Bachelorette, they're actually trying hard to look hot and cool and find love. Well, so is everyone on FBoy Island. Yeah, but it's- The difference is, I know what you're saying.

Yeah. The difference, because now I can't watch Bachelor anymore, stop acting like this is like, they're really looking for love. That these 24-year-old idiots are actually like, I don't care anymore. Maybe, and also it's always been this way.

And they are truly finding love. That's the thing. They are falling in love. Anya, you would agree. But you're still watching it. I can't. So what your problem is that you don't believe that they're too young believe that i don't believe in

their love but you said the love is real the love is real but i just don't think it's lasting and i think it's um i think they're all fake and i think they just want to be famous i'm just like i it's the things that have always been there i'm just seeing more clearly and i can't tolerate i remember when sarah shaver dropped out of the bachelor my old podcast co-host. I didn't know she was obsessed. I mean, could have written books about The Bachelor. And one day she realized

that it was all manipulated because of this. She found out a producer did this prank like on Twitter and she was like, you know what? I don't trust anything

this show is doing anymore and she was gone in a day. And I felt that way the other night. I was, I told you this the other day, but Chris and I were watching The Bachelorette and he said, I just don't relate to any of these people. They're other night. I was, I told you this the other day, but Chris and I were watching The Bachelorette

and he said, I just don't relate to any of these people. They're so young. He was like, that girl is closer to being friends with Poppy than you. And I was like, oh fuck, I gotta get out of this show. And he was right. Poppy would be like more their age than me. So now, but anyway, I saw this clip of him and this is what made me want to

watch the show initially because i thought he was so cute on kimmel um but this clip anya i want you to see this because it combines two things you love the bachelor and cults yes the theory laura The theory, Laura, that the Bachelor is a cult. And she printed out a list for me of the characteristics of a cult. I want you to tell me if any of these apply. Sleep deprivation. Members must stay awake for extended periods of time. Correct. Check.

Charismatic leader. That would be you. Members are zealous, protective, and unquestionably committed to a living charismatic leader that would be you members are zealous protective and unquestionably committed to a living charismatic leader sure check cohabitation members are encouraged or required to live and socialize with other group members absolutely check isolation members experience physical separation from their friends and society. Absolutely. Isn't this... Games.

Games with obscure rules are introduced. Yes! Checkerooning. It's the name of the game. Love bombing. Love bombing. Creating a sense of belonging through hugging, kissing, touching, and flattering. That's like...

There's a bit of love bombing. A little bit. And finally, common goal. The group claims to pursue a common goal, which in this case is getting a ring from him. The right reasons. This is a cult. It is! Those are the...

That's it. And you're their David Koresh. I didn't even watch that part. That shocked it. And you're their David Koresh. I didn't even watch that part, but that shocked me. He wasn't skipping requirements. Did they do your sleep tap on F1? We have to get your take. As someone who is obsessed with cult documentaries

and also The Bachelor, we need to get your take right after this. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance

because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right.

How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show, ears edition podcast.

From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers.

I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe,

and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help,

I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to

get trapped in it he's everywhere and has been everywhere it's so much worse and so much more widespread than i had anticipated together we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in it's not just me we're an army in comparison to him listen to the bunny trap on the iheart radio app apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. Anya, is The Bachelor a cult and how do you feel about that? It raises a great point.

They do manipulate them. They sleep deprive them. They give them a lot of alcohol. I don't think it was a point. I think it was a checklist that like is literally in the dsm and it like checked all the boxes and it makes me concerned for things that i'm involved with with as well the main one that they didn't ask is can you leave at any time without repercussion i don't think that's verbatim you can leave yes you can but you will be ostracized from the show like you will become a suppressive person you know i mean no you can be like we don't have a connection here right like but you will be kicked off the show

so what you can leave you can't leave a cult like you couldn't leave teal's yes you can yes you can she was always like you can leave the you can leave but you're what what will happen is you'll become what in scientology is suppressive person where like they won't talk to you again you know i mean and in nexium they would stalk you harass you leave crazy things in your mailbox that's what scientology does too death threats. Death threats. Or, you know, please, I'm scared of those fucking people. It's a real, did I tell it on here that I one time made a joke

about Scientology at a meeting in Hollywood where there's a lot of Scientologists? I was so naive. And I made like a really, did I say this on the podcast? Yes, yes, yes. Okay, then I can skip it. So,

Grandpa over here, sharing stories i like jesus christ i i talk too much for a living and i forget where i say the things i say because i also talk like this to all my friends too so it's honestly happening all the time um speaking of grandpas you sent the cutest picture today of arlo uh matt sent me, sent the group, family group chat. It was their 100th day of school, so they dressed like a 100-year-old. How cute is that idea? It was pretty cute.

The baby's dad? No, Arlo's in kindergarten, and it was the 100th day of school. So the school said, hey, dress like a 100-year-old. Yes, the children. Yeah, so he looked like the little man from Up. Yeah, he put an old man tweed hat on and he

my mom brought over my dad's reading glasses and he popped the lenses out and put it on and all day he was he was like shaking his body and like walking really slow getting into character he was getting into character and then we dropped him off at school he was super excited to be at school and he kept talking like this daniel daycare lewis and then he got to school and um he's like i don't want to do this dad i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to be an old guy i was like you got to i was like that's what it is yeah 100th day this is in the car on the way there this is when we were walking in oh my god he didn't want to be and i think it's because he was looking at the other kids and they weren't dressed like well then nobody else like

fully committed to be a character and then i said no look at that guy look at that kid he's got a weird hat too and he's like oh fine i'll do it and he walked to the front door and the teacher's like arlo you look so old and i was like yes nailed it oh that's so cute and that is this school sounds like a cult right it's so relatable play games to be no it is not but the bachelor just might be sleep deprived um no they have nap time are you kidding me these no he does not he does not well he doesn't need nap time but i was listening to lauren was telling me about poppy's schedule and i was just like oh god like i was like just tell me more so what does she do then so she gets up when and then she watches like cartoons and then she watches, like, cartoons,

and then she, like, then they go to school, and they, like, listen to someone read them a book, and then they take a nap. It was just like, God, that was the fucking life. I just want to tell Poppy, like, you're on vacation right now. Yeah, she has no clue. You have no, like, it's about, it's like, you truly, no one expects anything of you

no and then when she comes home she expects everything from us oh she's retiring and at night i know you're listening to this in the future when you're older but you are she is she is a cult leader dude she lauren told me that she asked poppy for like fashion advice because if she's like deciding between something she'll'll be like Poppy, because Poppy's so decisive and just knows what she wants. She'll be like those. Like for what she is. How old is Poppy for the record?

Poppy's three, everyone. There's no reason why we should, but she knows exactly. I was doing her hair the other day at gymnastics and she just knew exactly like where the clip she wanted. And I was like, Lauren, does she always know? Like she goes, she knows exactly how she wants her hair done i go does she change her mind she was like nope and i'm like this little bitch it's gonna be taylor swift like this is taylor swift levels of decisiveness of like i know i want this and and when it doesn't

work out fits oh yes and the tantrums yeah and i feel for Lauren. You know, she's a mama's girl. And so she'll occasionally just, you know, force me out of the room. I feel ostracized by my own daughter most days. Yeah. But she'll force me out of the room. No. She'll make Lauren, she has like a whole routine. Lauren has to read her all these books. She picks out the books.

And then she just, mommy, scratch my neck. Scratch my back. Scratch my legs. Yes. Okay, now it's just like a whole routine. And she tricks her into like staying up. She adds more things every night. Yeah, it's just crazy.

Yeah. The most interesting thing about her to me, because she is different than any other kid I've ever seen in that she really, people ask her a question and she'll just look at you like like what the fuck are you even talking to me for like there'd be like a teacher would say a teacher would say goodbye to her at gymnastics and be like bye Poppy and she would be like doing something she'd run over to me and she's like looking through my purse and the teacher

goes like Poppy and like taps her on the shoulder like bye Poppy and she'll just look over and go like ugh like she's disgusted and just like looks back it's her teacher and she's just like why would you be why would you be interrupting me going through my aunt's purse right now like i don't have time to even acknowledge you i was just like i i wonder i mean i can't no one can remember what they were like when they were three but i don't know that many kids are like her no you see a lot of kids like that i do too she does where did she get that matt you or lauren um i don't know i think we're both uh i'd say both of us probably i mean we're both pretty

decisive with what we want to do um And then change their mind a hundred times and back out sometimes. I mean, that's what we're all like. My family, if we are going, my sister's an Aquarius and Poppy is May 5th. What sign is she? Oh no, we're getting into astrology on the show and this is not what we wanted.

Now we're starting to like lead with that. You went there on that. Oh my God, she's decisive. She's not a Libra. If she's a Libra, that would disprove astrology. So what is she? Oh, May, she's not a libra if she's a libra that would disprove astrology so what is she oh may that's not libra what is may taurus i don't know it depends where in may i think you got yeah i mean someone could google it but i don't have a phone with me um or we could just keep guessing when none of us know for sure there we go play this like football um yeah so i just

yeah she's so special and so funny and so um emotional and i love that she loves taylor swift that's my dream for her is to be a swifty and go to concerts with me taurus yep it's a great car such a taurus dude it's such a great car Such a Taurus dude Dude Such a great car Such a Taurus Such a great car What car did you just get? Cause your car All of your cars

Were stolen We don't even need to That could take the whole podcast If I bring up the car situation No Give us a brief Brief little Alright

I'll do Story time The quick The quick version of the story Is that October 27th Lauren opens the door to go outside and said, where did you put the cars? And I said, what do you mean? Where did I put the cars?

She said, where are they? And I said, I have no idea. And then she looked at me and said, did you take my purse out of the car? And I said, no, I didn't. And so I'll take some of the blame for it. I was clearing the car out. No blame. I'm a nice husband.

Yeah, no blame on her. But yeah, we left both sets of keys in the car. No blame on her. Both sets of keys were left in the cars. So woke up with no cars. The Subaru, we could track and we recovered it had some damage did you see it like cruising no oh yeah on on the app yeah you could see where they were oh it was going everywhere and you wanted to go like don't they turn it over the

cops so you can't see it anymore once they find it because they don't want you to go like be a vigilante and try to like fucking get it exactly Exactly. Yeah. So we were, I was very close to with some neighbors and coworkers to go and grab the vehicle when I knew where it was. But then I told Subaru, I was like, hey, can you do anything? Like, can you shut this bad boy off after, you know, whatever? And they said, yeah, but it's only after they stopped the car, they won't be able to turn it back on. It's stolen vehicle recovery mode.

And I said, okay, let's activate that. And it was was over in illinois and i said let's wait until it comes back to missouri um because i just didn't want to deal with that so i came back to missouri and they shut it off and then i was on the phone with subaru and i was like hey i don't where's where's the car it's it's not on the app anymore and they're like oh yeah once we shut it off you can't see where it is and i was like, okay, so I just have to do what? And they're like, you got to call the police. Tell the police the VIN number. Give them your special pin.

And then we'll tell them where it is. I was like, okay. And so I called the police department. I was like, hey, Subaru told me to call you. My car was stolen. And they go, yeah, we don't do that. I was like, what? And so I had to find a friend who knew another cop.

And that cop handled it for me. Jesus. And so then the car was recovered friend who knew another cop and that cop handled it for me. And so then the car was recovered and then towed and all that. The other car, not a Ford Taurus, but a wonderful Ford Focus. Yeah. Not that car. That car was stolen. Seven days later, that one wasn't tracked.

Seven days later when I was driving home, I saw it just down the street. So they had gotten into that car, which was the car Lauren was driving. I think they saw the keys to the Subaru, stashed that car, got in the Subaru and left and then took that car. So then we got it back and we had all the vehicles. But didn't it have much heroin meth use inside of it?

Okay, so fast forward three weeks later, they still had the key that came back and got the focus and i was like okay it's it's officially gone this time yeah we had changed the locks to our house and everything too and we were waiting to get the keys to the car changed but there was like a big backlog of you know the locksmith couldn't get to it and i had bought i had bought one uh club you know there's so much i bought a club for the subaru but then i didn't buy a club for the ford because i guess i was kind of hoping that yeah and then seven days later i got a call from the police department

like we found your vehicle i was like all right let do it again. Let's pick this bad boy up. Wait, wasn't Lauren's purse in the car the first time that you found it? Yeah, but the keys were gone. But her purse and all her wallet

and everything, like, thank God, the first time they left it. But we had already canceled the cards, but whatever. That headache.

That wallet. So then they're like, we got the car. I was like, what happened? And they're like, well, there were two suspects inside. They had stolen guns. They tried to run away. We tased them. And I're like, we got the car. I was like, what happened? And they're like, well, there were two suspects inside.

They had stolen guns. They tried to run away. We tased them. And I was like, hell yeah. I was like, good. They got what's coming to them. And then they're like, your car's up at the tow lot and you can go get it. So I had my coworker drive me.

I went up there and it was wrecked. Like the outside was damaged, dented, but the inside was just, it reeked of like smoke. And there was just bags of new clothing, new shoes, old clothing, Tupperwares of food and canned food, like all sorts of stuff everywhere. And I was like, hey man. How many, how long do they have it? They had it for seven days. They drove 3000 miles.

They tinted the windows in the back with self-tint. That's crazy. Okay, but this is the best part. What are they doing? I like these guys. So, you know, my chief concern was that the key was gone. The key fob was gone. And so I said to the tow guy, like, hey, where's-

They like pimped your ride for you. I was like, where is my key? And they're like, the key's in the vehicle. I was like, in the vehicle? I was like, okay. And so like, the key's in the vehicle. I was like, in the vehicle? I was like, okay. And so there was all this stuff in the vehicle

and I said to the guy at the tow lot outside letting me out the gate, I said, what do I do with this stuff? And he just said, keep what you want, throw the rest away.

I was like, okay. What a great motto. And so I pulled it over. What'd you get? Did you get any cool new stuff? He kept it in my brand name clothing. I gave gifts away.

I had gifts what what was in there anything cool anything actually good well yeah did you keep the stuff in there was i was looking for the keys and i found a bunch of needles and a spoon and a tie whatever so they were just shooting in our can so they were just tweakers they were just yeah shooting up stealing and getting high in the car. So then the company was going to... The intervention music just started playing in the back of my head. That ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

But the insurance company, it was a whole ordeal. They were going to have us clean the car and they were going to keep it. And I said, look, I don't want fentanyl in there. I don't want heroin in there. It's got to be totally cleaned. And they finally totaled it. So then I bought a Honda Pilot and I have that bad boy now. It's great. Yeah.

I don't know if you heard this part though, Nikki. Last week, a week ago, I got out of my office and I started my car up and it sounded like a jet engine. Someone stole my catalytic converter on the new car last Tuesday. So I'm now driving your dad's car. That's nuts, man. So it's just like nonstop. Come to St. Louis. For the listener, let me emphasize that this guy never stops smiling and is truly happy. Who?

Yes. Matt. I'm happy with my thoughts. Yeah, he loves his thoughts. It's bizarre. You are a happy guy. Like this would break me one car would break me what are you gonna do i mean what happened when you when you heard it and you knew that they had stolen like when did it when did you realize that your catalytic converter which by the way andrew had never heard of that term because you don't hear about the term

until you move to st louis and they're all getting stolen all the time. What did I do? I fired it up and I heard it and I just said, let's do it again. I knew it was another deductible, another trip to another call to the insurance company, to the police. And the police shamed me. They shamed me when I called them.

Oh, about your Cadillac converter? I was like, hey, by the way, just want to let you know my Cadillac was stolen and they're like okay where was it and i told them the address where i work and they're like okay um you're gonna wait there for the cops and i was like no i'm going home and they're like okay and the cop called me and he's like hey uh yeah i'm here and i was like all right uh i don't see you and he's like, hey, yeah, I'm here. And I was like, all right, I don't see you. And he's like, yeah, I'm at the address where it was stolen. I was like, okay, I'm at home. He's like, why are you at home?

Jesus. I was like, because I had to go home. He's like, why didn't you wait around? I was like, because my car got this catalytic converter stolen. I had two other cars stolen. I'm going home. I have three kids. You're like over it.

I had a shitty day. I had a shitty day i had a shitty day and he was like okay and so he came and i did the whole report and stuff and i again said to him like hey man sorry i didn't stick around but like i've had a lot of car shit happen and i just didn't want to deal with it yeah and he was like you're really supposed to stay there i was like okay he didn't he didn't say i'm so sorry to hear that stuff. Yeah, yeah. No, fucking empathy. I was like, okay, cool. Thanks, man. Yeah.

Sometimes you just can't get it. Yeah. But there are good, there are, have you ever, you've had run-ins with, have you had good cop experiences? Yeah, I have cop friends. You do? Yeah. Wow.

Who's cop, what cop friends do you have? Not a lot. Probably not. Yeah. I have cop acquaintances, I'd say. Cop acquaintances. No, I don't have real. I know.

I'm always scared of cops no matter what. I mean, have you been arrested? Arrested. Like in handcuffs? Yeah. Hmm. Yes. Once.

Yes. Sorry. I didn't. If you don't want to talk about it. No, it's okay how what let me guess it was like weed in i don't know okay high school sorry drunk in public drunk in public oh wow maybe it was a fight i say it was a fight i guess oh we're all over the map no just rant i guess no actually well you don't know What No the handcuffs Did not happen

It was at Waka Rusa No It's like some Music festival I don't know It's like a We both would

Decay you It's like a A lake Yes They have like a Festival too It was a festival Okay yeah

It was out Yeah It's a good reference If you know Lauren's culture He was nude in public at a festival no no i've okay so what was it no it's it's various alcohol stuff in college oh like right yeah yeah i knew it it's walkerusa shit okay yeah yeah yeah okay got no fight stuff

like that oh whoa we were all right wait a second yeah got in a fight stuff like that whoa we were all right wait a second got into a fight he shook his head over that wait you got into a fight you were a well I was more victimized

I didn't do much fighting why what'd you do to get punched we were at a house party and my there was some townies Lawrence had some townies

oh I thought you said Lawrence had some townies yeah that's what I thought Jesus Christ Lawrence Pansy okay some townies lawrence had some townies oh i thought you said lawrence had some townies jesus christ glad lauren hasn't had some no lawrence kansas had some townies that would show up at parties and these townies were at a party and they were giving this girl trouble mutual friend and my one friend keith was like let's get these jerks out of here and he pushed this guy and swung and hit another guy and then he got jumped and then i went in to like save him and

then this dude shanked me and stabbed me wait really yeah yeah in my hand i got stitches oh my god that's so scary i feel like i'd rather get shot than stabbed yeah no so scary it was just it was just a few stitches. Stabbing can fuck you up, man. Sure. No, I got lucky. But he was going to stab Keith in the chest. Oh, my God.

And he hit my hand. Jesus. Oh, my God, Matt. This is making my vagina hurt so bad. I know. Anya's vagina hurts when she hears things that, like, if someone gets too close to a ledge or something. It's not so much hurt,

but it's like those roller coasters that just drop you really fast and you just fall. It feels like that. Anytime someone says anything about getting hurt. Not the X factor. About getting hurt? Oh yeah.

Even if you were to be like, Poppy fell and skinned her nose. I'd be like, oh. But it's not my vagina, that feeling. But I do get that feeling a lot. Do you ever get the feeling when you're watching, like you can see a video on your phone of like someone doing something with heights

and your stomach drops? Like you can get, that's such a cool thing that like watching a screen can make your body have a feeling like it's falling and might die. Isn't that? Well, they say when dogs dream. I usually don't like that feeling. Yeah.

You know when dogs are like. Oh, yeah. They are burning. Looking like they're having seizures. Yeah. And athletes too. Like if you're dreaming, you're running a marathon, you're actually burning a shit ton of calories and your brain thinks you are.

Wow. That's interesting. Oh, yeah. Because it's so the mind and body are so connected that it you are. Wow. That's interesting. Oh, yeah, because the mind and body are so connected that it can trigger that. That's interesting. That'd be awesome to be able to train more in your dreams and get workouts in a little bit. Yeah, I don't know how many calories you burn,

but they do say that your body thinks it's doing it. That's interesting. I don't like nightmares, but they feel so good when you know they're over. They're not real, that it's almost worth it. Have you been watching The Last of Us? Oh, all. I only watch, like, comedies. Chris was like, no. And then you and Lauren were like, check it out.

And then the third episode, Chris was like, you need to watch this show. Yeah. And so I watched up until the third. Did you watch the fourth episode yet? Yeah. What do you the fourth episode yet? Yeah. What do you think about the show? Do you love it?

Because I think everyone is going to end up watching it. Noah, Anya, have you guys heard about the show? Are you interested in seeing it? I finished episode one last night. Oh, nice. So you're on board. It's on HBO and it's huge. Is it a zombie apocalypse? Is that what zombie apocalypse? It's about, yeah, it's pretty much

about mushrooms that you know, like, have you ever seen video of like a cricket that has like a parasite living in it and the cricket's just a shell and there's this like thing that's just, so that happens to humans eventually, but it's with like mold and fungi with mushrooms.

So it's really given mushrooms a bat. Like mushrooms kind of gross me out now. Kind of. They always have, and now it's like, this isn't helping. But then the third episode was like this Brokeback Mountain movie. I'm not even kidding. In the middle of this zombie show.

It's so good. It's so touching. But even that episode was like an out outlier and then i but i think there's that's what the show is going to be yeah it's like a lot of flashbacks and stuff yeah and i think they've done you know i don't i'm not a huge sci-fi guy or i didn't get into yeah and i didn't get into what was the other zombie show walking dead yeah i didn't get i didn't either i tried this it seemed i did this is they've really human you did get into it i did but then i fell off it just i need like these things need to end and i felt like the walking dead and then they had the one fear of the walking

dead which was like before it was just too much i need an ending too much they need to end i like an ending too give me yeah this should be three seasons. Don't go more than three. I'd be fine with one. Yeah. Like, why are we okay with movies being an hour and a half and we go, that was a movie. And of course there's sequels, but a lot of times it's just like, that's it. But for some reason, a show goes a whole season and people are like, we need more. It's like, that is, but that was 12 episodes of an hour.

I mean, The Last of Us, third episode was an hour and 20 minutes. That's a movie in the 80s. The only show we need more of is Alone. I need more Alone. I can't watch Alone alone. So I have to watch Alone with someone. So I can't get it done. And Chris and I have not had a lot of TV time lately.

But I did watch the Pam doc. Loved it. Did you watch Pam? No. Pamela? Love Pamela. Hold on. I can do her voice kind of.

I'm going to work on it, but I have to watch it again. I wanted to face my fears and I don't know. I did it. We'll see. I don't know. I fell in love with my dad. What can I say?

Oh my God. Did she really? Dude, I saw that from the get go. I go, Chris, look at these pictures of her dad it is tommy oh it's tommy boy um but it's a great it's a great documentary i really recommend it and then um what else have i been watched and then just shoot me i've been watching and it's like my new comfort show that i just put on and it like reminds me of the 90s and my friend's spade is in it so i'm just watching him like my new comfort show that I just put on. And it like reminds me of the 90s. And my friend Spade is in it.

So I'm just watching him like my friend be so funny. Just shoot me. I know. Because you had like PBS only. We always teased Matt because he had no like. Wait, we just got PBS. Even though it's not even cable. No, like growing up.

No, I'm just my family's very academic. Yeah, his family was academic. So they had only like Animaniacs. It's only what he got no i like the animaniacs too no shame there it's a good show but you had like you know that little dog detective no nickelodeon did you i didn't know what the goo was everybody's talking about goo i was like what is that good wait the guy no what's what's what like ooze yeah yeah the green goo yeah what is slime i didn't know about slime it's just it just is but i know what you mean like is it a thing like in what context is slime

but it's just getting dropped on people in different shows that's kind of what it was but wait a second can i ask about some people did you like i don't know why it makes me laugh so much to make fun of you for not having cable but this was as a kid i had cable out the ass because my dad worked for cable obviously so it would be funny to me when people were so clueless but um did you ever did you were you into that one where the dog was the detective that little wishbone had to watch it's all you had i definitely watch it i don't recall it oh you don't you don't recall like no i'm enjoying it regularly no not regularly okay what were your shows that you watched as a kid i mean i think i got all this like the garbage shows that were put on you know like uh what about tgif yeah tgif was popular yeah yeah that was great did you get to watch that full house yeah that was like abc or something okay you watched those shows when you

were a kid did boys watch full house and step by step. Oh, yeah. Really? Family Matters. Okay. Family Matters. Okay, boys, watch that too. Did you ever watch, I guess you never had, Snick? I don't even know what that is. I don't know what that is either. Those who do, I promise you are laughing right now because Snick was like Saturday Night Live for Nickelodeon. And it was for tweens just like kind of got it.

And there was all that. Kenan and Kel. Alex Mack. It was like a whole, it was like TGIF, but for Nickelodeon. Yes. And it was cool. The Roundhouse, where you can be yourself. I mean, that was a sketch show they did.

Down at the roundhouse, where I can be myself. Down at the roundhouse. And then it be myself. Down at the roundhouse. And then it would just be a bunch of teens doing sketches. But none of it was funny or sticky to me at all. Matt had soul train on Sunday mornings. Because there was nothing else to watch. Really? No.

I mean, it was kind of depressing. Did you not? Yeah. I watched a lot of TV growing up, clearly. Anya, did you watch a lot of TV? I'm like Matt. We didn't have cable. I was just like watching Sally, Jesse, Raphael

and The Company after school. Okay. But you know what? This actually all leads us into the next thing that we're going to do on the show because I watched too much TV and didn't read enough books. And you guys clearly were reading lots of books.

So you're probably going to be great at what we do next on the show. You'll see when we get back. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially.

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to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to how to money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. John Stewart is back at the daily show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups,

this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season.

We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful.

I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my dog. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour.

He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him.

Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. Okay, so let's play. I'm so nervous about this. I'm so scared. Anya, you look nervous too. I'm so nervous about this. I'm so scared. Anya, you look nervous too. I want to leave. Let's hit this.

I have fight or flight. This is all started because we were talking about, you know, a couple weeks ago, the Secretary of State or Nancy Pelosi. Speaker of the House. That's what it is. Speaker of the House is what I meant. No, I know that. The thing is, I know that. I just said the

wrong one it's like when i was on celebrity celebrity uh whatever um millionaire and i said the wrong yeah please can we make this be the roundhouse where i can be myself got out the roundhouse um no but i know i know what she is. I said the wrong one, much like I will tell a story tomorrow on the show where I said Chase the Rapper instead of Chance the Rapper, and I got vilified for it, even though I knew it was a 50-50 chance

because I knew I didn't know it. So I picked one, and it was wrong. And God forbid I don't know Chance the Rapper's name. He doesn't know my fucking name like it's like you can mess up names i don't listen to his music all i listen to is taylor swift it's not like i was like people the way people got on me about that was so insane so anyway that's story for another time i still clearly have not gotten over it um it was just white people exactly no one black there cared that I didn't fucking know who Chance the Rapper was.

Okay. But let's play a game called We Know Nothing. We know nothing. We know nothing. We know nothing. We know nothing. We know nothing. So give us a call.

We'll give it our all. Because if there's one thing we know, it's how to pick up the phone. That doesn't fit. This doesn't fit. We don't know anything. I'll send you the right edit. It's too funny. That has to be it. Because it doesn't mean.

Okay, we are repurposing a. First of all, a jig. That song was our old podcast. We Know Nothing that Anya and I did. Then we used it again in another way, but it was always based. It was always used for advice. And then this time we were like,

we can use that song again. Cause this segment is about how we don't know anything. But there is, this is not an advice segment. Do not give us a call. We're not going to give it our all. Actually we will give it our all. The call part's the only part that was not uh correct anymore but that's the theme song um last week we talked about football and we got it

really really wrong we tried to just describe football the the with the four of us taylor was over and today we're gonna do we talked on the phone yesterday. And I did not research it. And boy, did I want to Google it and cheat. Because my level of not knowing anything about this is so embarrassing. But our subject today to talk about is World War I. Oh, God. That was embarrassing. Okay.

So let's start with years like and this is a collective thing where we try to all put together all this shit that we don't know and and land on the best answer it's like an escape room for forgetting right okay who's gonna tell us the truth? No one. Who thinks they have, let's just say, who thinks they have the best idea of the years? If you're the most confident out of the four of us, before any of us, because then this will minimize the embarrassment if someone, like, you know what I mean? So who's pretty confident about the years? Matt, I would say you probably would be. I'm comfortable. Okay.

Can you give us the, can you give us What you think the years are Starting? Yeah starting What? Shouldn't we guess first What we think the years are? I'm trying to minimize How dumb we all are I don't have an answer

Is what I'll say Okay I'm trying I'm literally looking at this As an escape room I'm not gonna change my answer For like trying Let's say like we had to submit At the end of this a report

And like money was on the line of like how right we got it let's try to actually get it right you know based on us four dodos like they do in the prices right where like the number has to come closest to what's on the stage like let's say there's some there's someone outside the door here waiting for me to fill out a little like a trivia game and if we get it right we get a lot of fucking money okay this is the game show this is actually a good idea for a game show just for idiots trying to come up with like

the most Wikipedia and sure like the most correct Wikipedia entry for a subject okay don't steal that copyright it that's how you copyright something you just say nothing okay years let's go. I think it's 1913 to 1918.

Okay, well, yeah. I think so too. I was off. I was not off. I was going to say 1917, but I probably, and if I was way off, I would just say I was I don't think it went into the 20s. Okay. I know there was a break between that and the World War II. So I'm going to take the,

and I know there's the depression, so I'm going to take the 30s off. The 30s definitely did not have World War I in it because that was depression. 20s, they were roaring. I'm thinking they're coming back from the war. So I'm placing it in the late teens based on that stuff. That's what I would think.

And also why, when I think of World War I, do I think of Winston Churchill? I don't know. I know he was. Wait, did he have something to do with World War I?

No. Yeah. Yeah, right? I don't know. And he was, he's the president of England or whatever. What's it called?

Yes. Chancellor? Prime minister? Prime minister? Prime minister. Okay, so he's the prime minister. And, but he, why? I'm just, listen, I'm just shouting out ideas about World War I.

He negotiated stuff. I'm pretty sure. Okay, who was it between? World War I. Germans. Yeah, Germany started it. I know that. Okay.

Wow, I did not know that. France. France? No doubt. Okay, what was in it? Austria. Mm-hmm. started it i know that okay wow i did not know that france france no doubt okay i know austria uh i know i think like prussia existed at this time i think someone was assassinated to start yes the shot heard around the world i remember that france ferdinand yeah yeah that's a band but it's um yeah the arch and i want you guys to listen to them for some reason an ap euro maybe a historian is listening to this i'm probably not though anyone who cares about history is probably so disgusted at this point they've turned it off but my ap euro teacher mr herring the one

thing i remember he told us a story about an assassination where the guy was stabbed with a needle through the heart and so he didn't even know on the street someone bumped into them on the street and stabbed a needle into his heart and so it was such a small stabbing that he just felt like he got hit you know and then he slowly bled to death. Oh, gosh. And that was someone's assassination, and I want someone to clarify who that might be. So that was maybe World War I stuff going on. Okay.

Other things that we know about World War I. Anyone? I still don't know the years. I was going to guess the early 1920s, which is wrong, right? that's you're not that far off we don't know though and how many years was it i'm gonna say i thought you were four years max i was it was a guess oh i'm gonna say it was eight i would have i guess i said four to six years i would think yeah i'm saying five i think like six years like a long time because

back then there were like no computers or any ways to communicate. So stuff took much longer. Oh, yeah. It took longer. Sure. Okay. What were some of the battles that took place? Any battle names come to mind?

England was bombed a lot. I think there was some bombing. Okay. Our boys were shipped away. When did we get involved? I'll tell well matt will tell you yeah what yeah it was i think that there was i literally know nothing about this i think there was a u-boat that hit a passenger yeah really yeah there was the sinking of lusitania yes really i seriously think i think that was it. Okay.

Okay, see, this is... I think a U-boat sunk. Okay. I know key words. I can do like a word search. I know the Allies were formed. Yeah, U-boats. The Allies were a bunch of countries that were allied. Okay.

Or is that... Yeah, the word allies would be in my word bubble. England, the United States, France. Would be in my word bubble. The United States. France. I don't know the rest. Prussia. Yeah. Russia was on the good side.

I remember that from World War II. I don't know about that being a part of World War I. If they had like the official name. Also, wasn't, this is the greatest generation or is that World War II I think that's World War II fuck okay who was the greatest until they showed up

they were the greatest for a while who was the US president when World War I was happening ooh great question Eisenhower? I was gonna say that but is it fdr no he had the new deal yeah he had a new deal in the like okay god damn it this is embarrassing sorry mr platt

ap us i don't even think i took history really yes you did wait rose of yeah social studies were you in it where you went did you US, AP Euro, those kind of things? I didn't do AP. Okay, so you had basic, but you regained a lot. I clearly didn't do AP. Okay, they had submarines. They had biplanes. They had B-52 bombers.

Okay, yes. That's a good keyword. I remember the helmets. They looked like they were like- Any sergeants or anything names they're rounded and what president are we deciding oh uh eisenhower you said fdr eisenhower are there any other guests no fdr is teddy roosevelt yeah who was fdr was was um so eisenhower feels too late for this. No, I think you're right. No, I think it's before Eisenhower. No, you're not right.

I wish I knew the Animaniacs song for the presidents. Washington and Jefferson. Then I could just do it. It is a good song. That one, I almost memorized it. Okay. Okay. So let's settle.

So 1913 tohower. Okay. Okay. So let's settle on 1913 to 1918. No. 18. 18. Yeah. Okay. 1913 to 1918, Eisenhower was in office for some of it. We got involved because of a U-boat and the Lusitania.

The shot heard around the world. No doubt. Started it. The shot. Oh, who offered that? I don't remember that. I think I remember. I remember.

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I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember. Eddie? That was the JFK assassination. It's arbitrary game. I don't know how I know that. I thought he was stabbed. Okay, so maybe it is the needle story

because that's kind of what I'm conflating this with. Yeah, the needle shot her drum. No, stop it. Okay, so are we ready to look up the answers? Because I really need to know now. Because we clearly, this was not the best category for me to pick because we knew so fucking little

that it is not okay. Are you guys horrified by how little you know? Yeah, I'm very embarrassed. I've always thought that World War I didn't get as much coverage. Yeah, World War II. Okay, okay. July 1914 to November 1918.

Not bad. Four years. Yes. Okay. It was fought between two coalitions, the first being the Allies. Oh, nice. Whose key members included France, the UK, Russia, Italy, Japan,

and their respective colonial empires, with the United States joining as an associated power in what year? 1917, because we're late. Yes, correct. They faced the central powers, primarily Germany, Austria, Hungary, and the Ottoman Empire with fighting occurring throughout Europe,

the Middle East, Africa, the Pacific, and parts of Asia. Nine million soldiers were killed. Dude, we should have guessed. That's next time we do a war next how many died plus another 23 million wounded while five million civilians died as a result of military action hunger and disease millions more died as a result of genocide while the 1918 spanish flu pandemic was exacerbated by the movements of combatants during the war so it triggered the fucking spanish flu of 1918 jesus started it right

what started the war okay the assassination of austrian archduke franz ferdinand holy shit um what does the main catalyst yes 1914 that was the catalyst for the start of the great war at world war one after the assassination with a needle stabbed with needle world war this one typing into google needle world war one i mean it's gotta be nope it nothing's coming up all right well mr harry owes me an explanation okay i'm kind of proud of us i just learned a lot just by reading that little bit though like i didn't know anything oh and the shot to death the shot heard around the world is not from yeah uh it's from the american revolutionary war oh right oh okay well that we'll cover that next time franz ferdinand and his wife sophie were shot were shot who shot them did you guys hear about wait is archduke ferdinand's name actually franz ferdinand

yeah oh wow moving on wait have you ever seen franz ferdinand in concert no that's modest mouse what do they sing franz ferdinand in concert no that's modest mouse what do they sing franz ferdinand sings um like god what do i think of when i think of franz ferdinand what's what's their style i don't even know name the song what's their song it's kind of like what the modest mouse song you were saying it is but what's their song come on oh damn it um anyway what have you have you been to any concerts recently, Matt? Matt used to have a radio show called Me Out Sandwich. Oh, yeah.

Take me out. Thank you, Noah. I needed it. And it is exactly like the Modest Mouse song that I love that Diddy dances to with his sons in those masks. Oh, my God. That video. I forgot about how how happy that makes me i need to start referring to it more often um have you been to see any music lately matt no i haven't seen the show for a couple months but you get to listen to a lot of music in your home with kids uh i i honestly try to always put

on music and i think it's because i have to drown out stuff yeah it's a toothpick for your fucking ears how was it at the orlando hard rock over the weekend oh wow yeah that was so fun this weekend was um yeah florida two shows on in tampa and then one show in orlando yeah the hard rock is cool the coolest part was i was going to the bathroom at one point and i was kind of by myself anya was on stage i was like on i introduced anya she goes on stage and then i just like to kind of like pace around and like think about what i'm gonna say and kind of use that time and then i get to watch usually the last two songs anya does so i was just kind of pacing the hallway and they have all

pictures up with people who who performed there like I was taking pictures like Lisa Lampanelli was there but like ZZ Top and Michelle Branch and Maroon 5 and like it's pretty cool it's like people coming up and then I round a corner and I'm going to this bathroom in the back like the hall like takes a little

like detour but it's not the main hallway fucking Taylor Swift up in the bathroom the bat in this hallway i would not have seen had i not been like just kind of sauntering around and i was like oh my god i was so excited to perform in the same place as her immediately i was like skipping my step like ready to go because it's only happened twice it's um there and or to my knowledge and the Ryman in Nashville. But it was she did in 2008.

So 14 years behind her. Watch out bitch. I'm coming. In your rear view. I can't believe they hid her in an ancillary hallway. I know I was like you guys it made me want to steal it

because I was like you don't even care about it. You know. Nikki gasped so loud she gave the security guard a heart attack yeah I was like and the security guard

like looked over at me like oh my god like was kind of scared I was so excited but yeah everyone was really nice and the shows were really fun I'm trying to think of anything

of note that happened in Florida it's just nice to be in like balmy weather it just feels good kind they were lit everyone was like kind of tipsy at the end they came out to say hi at the merch table and i got some cool backhanded compliments i can add to my list but they were so nice one guy got so drunk he just started buying t-shirts for everybody i was like

i'm into it he was like at first i thought you were going to be like this knockoff Jewel, but then you fucking won me over. You are so good. You don't even sound like Jewel at all. You don't look like Jewel. Like, what does he, why? Because your guitar isn't like Jewel's guitar. I mean, it just doesn't even make sense to me,

that compliment or whatever he said but yeah people always they don't always have to do it but that is a common thing where they have to like maybe you thought you were from alaska yeah i did have a carcass on my back i had my favorite insult this weekend um that was the people in front of me like fucking didn't get you and didn't like you but i was dying and i never get that anymore like i used to get that all the time at clubs because no one came to see me and so they were just random people and like you would often get tables that were just like this is not what we signed up for so those font it, it was, but now I like my own shows. I'm just like, I never hear that.

So this weekend that stood out, I was just like, fuck you. But also some people don't show their laughter the same way other people do. That's what I have to tell myself. Final thought. How would you know the people in front of you are not enjoying themselves? Cause their shoulders aren't moving up and down a lot.

Like what? You're not looking at their face. People like to convince themselves that they get it this is for me i get it more than you and other people like this is my like she's mine which i get i feel that way too being like wanting to be the best swifty or whatever one compliment i get constantly and i'm i'm shocked that people can't wrap their mind around why this wouldn't feel great to hear, is this. Oh, my God. I have something so embarrassing to tell you. I'm so embarrassed.

This is so embarrassing. I loved the Twilight soundtrack you were on. I'm so embarrassed. I'm sorry. I just. You know, like, I was on it. I'm like, why are you embarrassed? That bought me a home.

I was pleased to be in the company of those people. People do that to me for F boy Island. And I have to say, I like it. I like it. And you're just like, yeah, a lot of people do.

It's popular. This is what I, the whole like thing of like being embarrassed, liking something that's like culturally like a huge mega thing it means or this is the thing teenage girls like it so it's inherently dumb as people like aren't like sometimes right get it someone sent me a taylor swift something defending liking taylor swift or it was defending some liking things that are girly and it would just kind of paid attention to the fact that people shit on things that like teenage girls like it

must be inherently vapid and stupid and bubbly and dumb and just empty and that's what uh yeah that's what like reality shows or like that things that women like are just like dumb but shoes okay so they're not saying like it's so embarrassing i liked your song it's like i'm so embarrassed that i liked the franchise that you were associated with which is for teenage girls okay i'm smarter than that i don't like yeah i don't like twilight like i don't read those books that didn't i don't like taylor swift it's just like well then you don't also tay, Taylor Swift, now I'm just like, it's so, being someone who was a Swifty before it became so overwhelmingly culturally apparent that she is one of the best artists of our

generation and no one can deny it. Now everyone's kind of on board because it's so undeniable. But even before it was just like like arguing with my dad about it and being like she's as good as the she's as prolific as the beatles and him just being like how dare i loved fighting about it but i have to say i was right the whole time and when someone i kind of go with this bad bunny thing i'm like i don't know who bad bunny is i am so confused by bad it's because it's a different language right it's latin Latin. Yeah, he's confused. So I need to listen to Bad Bunny. I need to listen to Chance the Rapper.

The Bonnie Raitt song that won. But where was I going with this? Taylor Swift. Fuck, I had a really good point. Bad Bunny raps in Latin? Yeah. Wait, what? In Spanish.

Bad Bunny? Spanish. Oh, I was so confused. We have like the ancient language. Oh, no. It's like Latin music, I guess. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language.

It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language.

It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language.

It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language.

It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language.

It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language. It's like the ancient language.

It's like the ancient language. it's in latin um but yeah i didn't watch the grammys other night i did was obsessed with all of taylor swift's like the pictures her look was so good um yeah her outfit was awesome i love like just showing the the waist part it's such a good look there was so so much footage of her like dancing dirt like from people in the audience taking pictures of her during it they caught a moment where she talked to harry styles who was her ex-boyfriend, who she has written many songs about. And that was a great, cool little thing to see.

There's a lip reading moment that I wanted to put you on, Matt. Fire it up. So J-Lo and Ben Affleck had a moment where everyone's trying to lip read what they said. And I think it's been figured out

what they say, but I wanted to see if you can guess. Lip read J- jlo lip reader reveals what jennifer lopez said to ben affleck yeah literally they're putting lip readers on this thing is she saying no more drinking i mean i guess that's what we're gonna have to decide what do you think she's saying here watch it over and over he's watching he's watching the footage he's studying it matt is he like a lip reader honestly why are you giving why do you choose so good at lip reading he it's just one of his talents i was born deaf no were you no maybe

why are you so good at it what are you getting from this video so let me just say when i did the people's choice awards i there was the camera cut to me while I was talking about to Esther about David Spade and Adam Sandler on stage. And I said to her, that's a pre-tape. And all of a sudden the camera cut to me and I go, fuck. Everyone goes, oh my God, Nikki, what did you say? I posted on my thing. I go, who can figure out what I'm saying?

No one wrote me. Everyone guessed. No one figured it out. Guess who figure out what i what i'm saying no one wrote me no everyone guessed no one figured it out guess who figured out what i said he he i matt goes i just saw you say um uh he wrote maybe you wrote me on my dms to the clip but you said that's a pre-tape and i was like you don't even know the word pre-tape that's like a industry term you know like that's how good you were so you're the only one so what what do you think she said well this one's hard because you can't really see what he's she's turning yeah you can't see her lips from this camera angle so the only thing the second part it could be it's no more

drinking but i also got motrin out of it like he needs to take some do you have any motrin yeah something like that but then he did look a little bashful after so he looked bashful but i think he looked bashful because they i don't think it was a really tense moment between them i think it was just like i don't think i don't first of all if i were her i would hate for anyone to comment on my relationship so i'm maybe just gonna plead the fifth on this one because i'm kind of tired of commenting on it everyone knows how i feel i much like the bachelor this i feel the same way about jlo and ben as i do when i watched the bachelor and bachelorette this isn't gonna last why do i care like but i guess that is why i care and i don't mean that in a mean way

nothing nothing else has lasted for either of them. Why would this one work? First of all, based on previous evidence, I'm not crazy to think this one won't work. But also most things don't work, you know? You and Lauren work, though. We do all right. Yeah.

You knew she was the one when. I'm convincing. Stop soon. Soon you're going gonna really feel it in your bones was there a moment where you just knew knew that we would date no knew that she was like the one where you were like i'm gonna marry her yeah when i needed a visa to go to spain oh yeah that's right you guys got married so she could yeah she was going to spain to teach and you to go live there with her yeah i didn't i didn't have a job Spain to teach and you to go live there with her. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't have a job. I needed, I was going to get. No, but you knew you were going to marry her before then, right?

Like you knew she was the one. Sure. But. That sped it along? It had to. Yeah. Yeah. Because I would have literally been kicked out of the country after three months.

How long would you have waited, you think? Probably a year. Maybe a year longer. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. It was kind of a, yeah, shotgun.

No, but we were, I don't know. Which is the new j-lo picture that you should check out with josh to mail shotgun wedding but what i didn't get to go to your first wedding yeah because it was so shotgun first wedding um i don't even know where i was going yeah what are you going to spain wait you got married twice? No, no, no. We had a wedding. We had a wedding and then a party after. The first wedding was on a Wednesday.

Everybody does a hump day wedding, don't they? Yeah. And it was in the park and it was just my parents and his parents and them. And it was 108 degrees. Yeah. Not kidding you. And $108. Right.

And your dad hired a flamenco guitarist. Yeah. And it was in the States or in Spain? No, it was in St. Louis. It was in St. Louis at Forest Park. We kind of had like a visa time crunch. So we had to do it because we needed a 30-day processing time for the consulate in Chicago to get our visas. But then when they got back from Spain, then they had-

We had a party. Like a year or so later. Yeah. They had a party like a year or so later yeah they had a party ah so that's the reason why it wasn't a bigger wedding with more people invited because you had to get going right yeah first time yeah i think you were invited yeah i definitely i just wasn't able to do it because i was working probably fucking hilarities in cleveland or something but um you know it's prioritizing you know what was important at the time um but then your wedding was where i gave the wedding speech and i told the i said that lauren was more like a big sister to me growing up and i gave all these examples and i was like like she knew santa wasn't real before i did she

had to tell me like nikki santa's not real and at the reception there were children who didn't know santa wasn't real and they all learned from my fucking speech and that is why i don't i'm not good at sincere speeches i always fuck them up i said i was barren at catherine's to make a joke and everyone it didn't go over well um it was just i get so awkward so look forward to that anya when i am the priest i'm marrying anya and matt the priest. I'm marrying Anya and Matt. The priest. Yeah, I'm the priest. So keep your kids away.

You're supposed to stay on script as the priest. Yeah, yeah. I'll have her script. But you got to make it funny. There's expectations. Yeah, she gets to spitball whatever she wants. That's the thing. People have such a high bar.

Like the comedian's the priest or whatever. And it's just like, oh, God. It's a lot. But I'm not feeling that way at all. Because I know in the past that I would have felt that way. I'm low pressuring myself because that's what Matt and Anya are all about anyway. Why don't you go in disguise? Fat suit.

Just then no one will know who you are. Then you can do whatever. Yeah, I'll mass singer it. Right, exactly. Oh, yeah, go spotty it. This is a snowflake. Yes. Oh, my God.

Repurpose the outfit. I will reprise my role as Snowstorm. There'll be no pressure. This is your time. Yeah. Yeah. You can make up. Let me just say you two are like bro, sis-in-law goals.

Like, I love this relationship. The fact that you guys are like- Oh, I got so lucky. It's so stupid. Yeah. I got a- We both got an extra sibling

out of it. For sure. Because I feel the same way about you. I always refer to you as my brother and people are like, wait, what?

Like, I always forget to say in law. Your brother and sister are married? Your brother's husband. In visa. Yeah.

My brother's husband is here, everyone. Yeah. Thank you, brother's husband, for being here and taking time off work. Go get back to work. Come back on the show

whenever you want. You were great. Do you know what he does for work? Oh, stop this. Nobody. I'm just curious. No, of course I do.

I do know what he does. What is it? He is the manpower, the brains, a creative force behind Big Muddy Adventures. I don't know your exact title like what's your title do uh yeah i mean big money titles are fleeting he i mean he does everything

he doesn't like he's involved in every aspect of it from like sales and marketing to the actual actual expeditions to planning the expeditions to going and picking up the boats, to going on them. And like, yeah, so he runs a river sports adventure company. Wow, nice. I do. And a retail shop as well. He's the manager there. I'm the general manager. GM, yeah.

Big money. Well done. Check it out if you're in St. Louis, but also make sure your car doesn't get stolen while you go check out that store, Big Money Adventures. Yeah, don't leave your car when you go on the boats. If your car gets stolen, you can always rent a canoe. Wait, can I say this before we leave?

Yes, yeah. Because it's related to it. We put up this picture for the work telling people like, oh, come on this twice a week trip that we have called the STL Riverfront Adventure. And it was this picture of this family from San Diego, like a husband, wife, and three kids. And it was them smiling so happy in front of the arch. And we put it up. And downtown has their own Instagram account, like for just downtown St. Louis. And they put it up and shared it. And it went viral of people like shitting all over our business.

No, why? Not because of our business, but because of the concept, the idea of going on the river, on the Mississippi River. But people were like putting up all these gifts of like, they're like, people, it'd be like in St. Louis,

it'd be like, it'd be like a canoe on blocks, cinder blocks. That's so funny that you're. The only thing you can do is get on the water to get away from the gunshots yes oh my god ripping on crime in st louis and saying that you you know you're gonna

see floating dead bodies and i promise you if you go on a trip with us we will not put your canoe on blocks your car will not get broken no it won't there will be no dead bodies no it's actually really awesome if you like that stuff. And if you love that stuff, then it's the greatest thing to do. And Chris got an adventure for Christmas from my parents. And me and him are supposed to go on one. So we got to pick one out soon. That'll be something I'll talk about.

Yeah, I've done two trips. What old man? Well, we'll talk about it another time. Thank you guys for listening We have to tell that story once It's too good So okay someday you'll get the wet old man story Thank you guys for listening to the podcast

We'll be here tomorrow Matt thank you so much for being here Don't be Jackie Joyner John Purse Joel the holidays are a blast But the financial hangover Jackie Jordan and Chris. John Purse. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help.

That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it.

For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid.

Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source

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or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in.

It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.