The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #317 Alienation Song w/ Kerstin

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

Nikki has Kerstin come by to help recap their very eventful weekend. They sang their little hearts out in karaoke and while talking about it Nikki has an epiphany about something that happened on her birthday that she is not over. Nikki and Kerstin went to see Adam Sandler live and got an upgrade from his tour manager that they will never forget. Nikki tells all about meeting Adam Sandler backstage while holding in her pee. The girls talk about Nikki's butt and Kerstin offers a tutorial on how to take the perfect butt pic. Anya shares a story about a passive aggressive message on her mother's t-shirt, while Nikki wants everyone to read the message on hers.  -- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina   More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Billie is a sex slave. Here's Nikki. Hello, everyone.

It's Nikki Glaser. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I did say Billie is a sex slave. If you don't know what that means, neither do we. But it just fits really well. It's our friend's dog. She was wearing a collar once.

We were singing the song. And my friend Taylor said, Billie is a sex slave because she was wearing a collar. Which all dogs are sex slaves because they have collars. Welcome to the show. Anya is here with us as she is all the time now. We love it. She's in Mexico. Hola, como estas?

Ah, bien, bien. That's all I know. La corca, wait, la saca corcha. That's all I know in Spanish. Do you know what that is? No. A corkscrew. So, if you want to open a bottle of non-alcoholic wine, because that's all you would need that for. What else do you need a corkscrew so if you want to open a bottle of non-alcoholic wine because that's all you would

need that for what else do you need a corkscrew for anyway um anya's here where in mexico are you we're in puerto vallarta where i've been coming since i was a child so you know like everything there uh i know a lot of stuff that any 14 through 80 year old would know because my parents are 80 now. And I came here for, well, no, I guess I came here when I was like 10. So I still have kind of a child's view of the city.

Like there's a lot of fun stuff here for gays. It's the number one gay capital of the world. So there's like a bear festival right now. Everyone here is like of either a super cute little twink guy or like a big bear guy with a lot of men has anyone seen the recent episode of last of us yes last night last night there's a bear in that you know the big fucking guy that comes out of the ground oh he's the biggest bear ever if anyone knows what i'm talking about he's called a bloater there's different like the infected or there's different ones there's clickers that are like bats and they can see

in the dark and then there's a bloaters that's like a giant one and there is one on the last of us you mean at the very very end right that like takes everybody out what oh yeah yeah the big one that comes out and they're like what the hell hell? And he's like, oh, and they're like, it's a bloater. And I'm like, that's me every morning after I eat a lot of salt. Inserting one comment I haven't seen yet.

Kirsten's here, by the way, everyone. Kirsten's back. Kiki. I haven't seen the last episode because I had to go to sleep after you guys were watching it. So just no spoiler alerts, please.

Well, there's a bloater in it. That's all you know. That's all you need to know. We got two in this room today, too. Yeah. Oh, God. We're so bloat. That's all you know. That's all you need to know. We've got two in this room today, too. Oh, God. We're so bloat. And for Nemo's Pizza.

Too many processed foods. Yeah, you guys had fun last night. Yeah. So Kirsten's in town. She's staying with me the past two nights. We went to Adam Sandler on Friday night, which was fucking bananas. And then we last night went to Taylor, who you know from the pod it was her birthday and we had a karaoke birthday night and it was um like 10 of us in a room in st louis at the w lounge um and yeah we said kirsten was definitely mvp she was hilarious um on the mic just doing like i

don't know just singing different lyrics to songs and she also we found out she has an encyclopedic knowledge of every song like she knows lyrics to every song and not because they were up on the screen she wouldn't even need the screen like like bob seger deep cuts i love it's such an opportunity to be cut like i was being kind of cool last night because when you know the song and you just like have the mic and you're like looking down and you don't need the lyrics i was like in those hollywood nights in those hollywood closing your eyes and you're like look how much i know the lyrics and we were all looking at each other like how does she know this and then it kept going like any song would come up and she would just know i'm listen we all know like um uh the song um what was the steely dan song uh that

we were dirty work i don't wanna do your dirty we all know the chorus okay like we can all like look off the screen for that but kirsten would know like the bridge to that the fee listen there's oh you find yourself somebody who can do the job for free. I'll speed it up. I mean, it's... Wow. I mean, let's just... But she knows the bridge to like just B-tracks from the 80s. It was crazy. I didn't know this about you. Did you guys hear about this whole Steve Albini thing with him trashing Steely Dan and went viral?

All these musicians... I don't know who Steve Albini is, but I did see all about it. He's a punk guy? No. I mean, he produced Nirvana's album Bleach album bleach i think i'm sorry if i'm wrong if it was like incesticide or both i forget which one or never mind i don't know incest inside incest incesticide insecticide oh incesticide is what they changed it to yes that's a nirvana album yes incest inside incesticide like in i get i get it what they're doing but is it about incest Yes. That's a Nirvana album? Yes. It's an early. Incest Inside?

Incesticide. I get it, what they're doing, but is it about incest? Did he suffer incest? I don't think so, but it's controversial. Why would you, to put incest in a song or in an album, Ditto? Yeah. What was the Steely Dan beef with that? He was like, I'm the kind of punk that will always shoot on Steely dan or something and then all these people it was so good and he's done this before

and he went viral for it before he just i don't know like the he knows how to be in the press but i thought it was so good it's such a it's such an open platform for cook karaoke because you have different tastes of music you got like the choices and everyone has to be on board and not be like, I don't want to do it. Here's my karaoke thing. You get one song each per night in a room of 10 where you can pick a song that no one else knows and it doesn't matter. It's your song. It doesn't matter if it's not a hit. It doesn't matter if no one knows the chorus.

It's your song. You get one. And then the rest, you need to choose ones that people have at least heard of before. I don't practice centuria. Everyone's happy. Was there anyone in this karaoke group that couldn't sing, that didn't have a nice voice? No, everyone pretty much that sang had a good voice. So that was a good part of it.

Like, no one, everyone knew their skill set. No one was hogging the mic that was, like, terrible. You know what I mean? And I don't tell, people that can't sing, I think they should be able to sing. I just think it's weird when they, like, think they're good singers. But no one was like that. She was Whitney Houston. Yeah.

There's a hierarchy that develops over the night. Like, we kicked it off pretty strong, but then there's a tier of desire and aggressiveness towards the mic that some people gravitates. Like a song come on, I'd be like, give me the mic. Kirsten would just grab it. But she'd be talking about this. Give me the mic.

And I'm sure Taylor's friends who aren't our core group of friends were like, she's a mic hog or I was a mic hog. But the problem is if you don't hog the mic, then there would be nothing playing or just the karaoke track like they would just cut to like k-pop tracks and then everyone kind of wait around and it's like so either nothing's gonna get played or everyone's gonna hem and haw and act like i don't want to go next or we're just gonna take the reins being polite

but i also went out of my way to be like come on guys get your next song in like i don't want to be a mic hog and every because everyone expects me to be a mic hog i didn't know a lot of these people i'm sure they know who i am and they think she's a show-off she wants the center of attention so i always have to mitigate how i go into a karaoke situation because i know everyone's going to expect me to be like, she wants the attention on her. And by the way, I do. Of course I do, but I have to, I get it enough out there,

but I do, but karaoke is different for me. I like it because it's, you don't have to listen to me. You can like be in a conversation and let me just sing in the corner by myself. I don't care if everyone's like enraptured by what I'm doing. I'm like clapping afterwards. But here's the second karaoke rule. So first you get one song that alienates everyone it's okay it can be terrible it can be

slow it can be long it's fine you get one song everyone should have that not everyone takes that chance but you should take it if you can't that it alienates everyone it doesn't bring them together for the party no it can that's what i'm saying but you get one. That's what I'm saying. But you get one. But that's what I'm saying. That is it though. The other, if you, and by the way, you should try to choose an alienation song

that you can really like win people over on. Last night, my alienation song was You're On Your Own Kid. No, I knew no one had heard it.

Everyone was kind of in the room in terms of like, we don't listen to Taylor Swift. We don't listen to pop music and I knew that this song is so good

and my sister knows it too and us singing it together and putting on kind of a performance I knew it would be good and by the way it was good and someone later on

referenced like well the last time the sisters sang it was a fail so maybe this time Corey and Taylor and I was like excuse me

it was not a fail. In fact, I think many of the women were touched by the lyrics of that song when they were reading it. I starve my body just to be saved by a perfect kiss. All the, like you're on your own kid. You always have been.

I guarantee you there were girls today in that room that had never heard that song that today we're like, wait, I got to look up that song. What was that song? We won people over. So if you have a niche song, do a performance in a way that makes it so people go, oh, that's nice. Or you know what?

Or have your little moment alone with your Earl Tubbs song that no one knows. And that's fine, too. The second rule is any other song you choose, it must be something that other people at least have heard on the radio. At least have heard one time radio at least have heard one time before a dirty work um we got kind of scolded that dave matthews two-step was like he goes one of the guys was like well we just heard a song that no one's uh no knows so here's another one and he puts on a song that's like a rockabilly song that literally has like two youtube views and all this is a grainy photo on the youtube of

like a guy with like you know doo-wop hair that literally the song has not been listening to to since 1952 in like a you know can you sing it do you remember any of it no do you it was like boom-dop went down to the river and i said i'm my girl A great karaoke hit. Grabbed her hand. But don't compare that song to Two Step by Dave Matthews. Hey, my love, I came to you with best intentions. I don't care if you're not a Dave Matthews fan. You've heard, at least you've heard Two Step before. And by the way, we did put Two Step on, but we stopped it midway through because it's a long song

and I have respect for people who might not like Dave Matthews. So I adjusted it. But don't you dare. Don't you dare compare my two-step choice, which I didn't choose, by the way, to you go, the guy who's like, well, we just heard a song that no one knows. So here's another one. No, no, no. No, no, no. That was a Dave.

Dave Matthews is a hit band that's won many Grammys. That's been around for 30 years. Earl Tubbs or whatever bathtub honky tonk you're about to sing has no one knows it. It doesn't have a beat. It's just a guy like crooning in a fucking, I don't know. It was just not, so don't compare the two. Do you know what I'm saying? And also within the Lord of the Flies karaoke setting,

there's 10 people. I'm sure they could do their own podcast about how much they did not like our behavior. I just didn't like that comment. The next thing was though, the person who becomes the identified announcer. So between songs, they take the mic and they're like, well, folks, now I'm the person who between each song,

I'm gonna be speaking and cracking jokes. And it's just kind of like that doesn't stop. Leave it to the comedian in the room. And by the way, I didn't even want that job. So leave it to the second in command, which is my VP, Kirsten Florman. OK, thank you. You know, but I don't listen. This is again.

People get drunk. They get a little ballsy. And I didn't I didn't mind the the the commentary because the person had the mic already in hand he was just trying to keep the flow going that's fine but there is a weird hierarchy and like i'm and there was a girl in the room that i knew she wanted to sing she had a little list she brought a list of songs that she like thought might be good and she's very timid about like she goes i've never done this before i think i've seen karaoke one time but you could tell she wanted to so badly so i at one

point in the evening was like what tell me what songs you have on your list and i was like because they were three mics so i was like i'll sing with you so we'll get people to sing with you so you can get your songs out so she's about saying the spin. And she had the other one that was like, what's the, by Big Love. You know the song. I know all the songs. I want you back. Want you back. Oh, yeah.

Did we sing that? Whatever I said. No, it wasn't that. Was it that? I didn't need it. I just want you back. Maybe it was that. I don't know.

It was something like that. I just want to prince to put all you. Yeah. Spin Doctors to Prince princes was a banger was a great choice the older the song the longer the buffering took they were like trying to find oldest song ever yeah they would have to go back and like access microfiche go through files go through um it was just hieroglyphics on cave wall to transfer and every room has their own demographic like we were definitely like the our room was hot as. How many rooms were there?

There's like so many. 10 rooms. It's like a tanning salon. You go back in a hallway and there's just like rooms. You walk in, they're like, go in room four.

I pictured everyone together. No, no, no. There's 10 people in one room. But like it was so hot in our room. They turned the heat up so we would get like fussy. No, they didn't. Take your clothes off. But they kept coming back through yeah yeah um it was so fun though karaoke is so

fun it's such a great idea for a party and but just know that if you go and you're someone who likes to sing a lot you got to get people who are there's always going to be people that are going to get mad at you and those people they can go fuck themselves because they grab the mic when you want to if you're going to be fussy about it but there are people that are going to get mad at you. And those people, they can go fuck themselves because they grab the mic when you want to if you're going to be fussy about it. But there are people that are going to be shy and really want to sing

and will hold back. And you've got to engage them and go, I'll sing with you because people don't want to sing alone. It's really scary for people, but they still want to sing.

So always make sure to grab the person that you can tell wants to sing. And don't force them to sing alone okay they they want to do that so badly but they do not have the courage for it yet sing with them even if you sing the mic next to each other's face and you sing with them like people and i think so many people miss out on i know there's listeners right now that are like i've always wanted to sing karaoke and i never just want to get up on that stage alone

sing with them. Even though my mom rejected me once. They should have what? It was so rude. Like I still haven't let it go. It was my birthday, karaoke. And my mom, by the way, one of my favorite karaoke songs is Criminal, Fiona Apple. It's like my one.

And it's also my mom's and so i go perfect we'll sing it together so creepy kind of really i've been a bad girl i've been careless with a delicate okay so i go mom we'll sing it together and she's like no i don't want to i want to sing it alone i'm like oh she never gets to perform because of your dad he's always nagging her i know but like what i'm i'm someone also i would rather sing i don't care what song it is i've been practicing it alone with an instructor for years if someone is a good singer i want to sing it with them if someone's a bad singer please take a back seat when you're singing with a good singer like stop

being as loud give them the loud microphone last night we had a dim microphone and a loud one and i'm like people who are worse singers take on the dim microphone please take a note you can't even hear people singing though it's like you're just so annoyed with my mom oh being back back to that back to the criminal but she just was I'm like, wouldn't that be fun to sing with your daughter who has a good voice too, who also loves this song? She's like, no, I want to do it by myself.

What? Who usually just sings with her dad now could do it with mom. Yeah. Like she, but she needed it on her own. She's like, I want to do it on my own. And I still have, my feelings are still hurt from that day.

Maybe she just wants to shine but why not but but she'll shine next to me like we can share it like but you are a star you get the microphone i would if i could i would share my comedy with her like i don't i've never once wanted to sing a karaoke song by myself i think it's rude and i think it's i always want someone else if they do if they know the song and they're a good singer i would 100 always prefer someone singing it with me because also i feel embarrassed when i sing alone because everyone's like oh she thinks she's so cool you think it's cute did you say yeah that she likes she wants to because she has a great

voice she probably just never gets to share it i guess, but just why share it? I guess solo, but I don't know. I know people are like, Nikki just needs so much attention. It wasn't that. I just wanted to share a song with my, I like singing with people. I like watching TV with people. That's why I go on Instagram Live and sing to 33 followers of our account, because I don't like doing things alone. So it just hurt my feelings that she would rather be alone

and like show everyone her goods than share the song and i'm not a if i sing with someone i'm not trying to like do more things than them vocally or like try to like i know where i stand i would let her shine it was just like it was just so rude to me and i literally need a therapy session over it it hurt my feelings well Well, that's why we're here today. Sorry. Good. That's why I'm wearing glasses. I've already cried today. At least I've been crying a lot lately. No, no, no. I mean, it's mixed

in there. That's deep in there. I think that wound still hasn't healed from my birthday party where I've literally never... And my mom has done it multiple times. I've never gotten to sing Criminal at my own birthday party, which is my favorite song to sing because my mom,

it's her only song to sing and she has to do it alone. I get that. So I'm still wounded from that. What would you say? I get that why you're wounded about it too. Because you would rather sing alone than share something with your daughter.

That's why it upsets me. She wants the glory without the glory no one gets awarded anything it's about community her brain probably totally different yeah there's probably like another perspective that hasn't been discussed but i'm trying to consider that yes i think that like probably performing yesterday especially since you weren't like on the road, like this is your creative outlet, your outpouring of emotions and stuff like that.

So that definitely probably unlocked something within you that is making you like a little bit more emotional today. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I did feel, yeah, I got a lot out last night singing and performing singing. It definitely is better than comedy for that, for sure. But I woke up this morning just like, yeah, I got a lot out last night singing and performing singing. It definitely is better than comedy for that, for sure.

But I woke up this morning just like, oh, just so sad and like just depressed today. But we're going to turn that ship right around and we'll be right back after this. The break. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you

get your podcasts all right we're back um so let's just say last night was, last night was so fun. I'm probably have a hangover from how like fun it was and how much of a release it was. My sister was there. It was Taylor's birthday. Her sister was there. Taylor's friends, Kirsten. It was a blast. And then Friday night.

Oh yes, please. I got this text from you at like 10 at night. Yes. And it was a photo now. And then once I learned that Kirsten was there, I saw your Instagram. I'm like, okay, now I know who took this photo. Yes. And it was a photo. And then once I learned that Kirsten was there, I saw your Instagram. I'm like, okay, now I know who took this photo. Yes.

And I need all the details of how you met Adam Sandler. So Adam Sandler was- I snuck the photo. At the Enterprise Center, which is the big hockey arena on Friday night. And Chris, my boyfriend, is doing the Mark Twain Prize for humor for CNN, which is going to air at some point, but they're taping it soon. So he is already showrunning this huge production.

And if you've ever seen the Dave Chappelle one, he did that one too. So he's well-versed at these. He's really good at them, and it's awesome to get to do this. And it's going to be such a funny night of like comedy and just celebrating adam sandler it's like a big fucking to do the names that they have for this thing it's like better than the academy awards like it's insane who's gonna show up for this so um adam sandler came to town on friday night chris got tickets through adam's people because he's working on this event and then i he put the tickets under my name just in case and he also isn't stupid because he

wanted to maybe people to see like oh nikki glazer's gonna be here maybe so then i got us primo parking because i have an in there through working the stiefel center which is right next to it so i get the best parking it's like you're parking like it's your adam sandler like you're showing up for the show and it parking is such a nightmare down there. And the line around the block, we get to go in through the security entrance. It's fucking, it's sick. It's the nicest time I've ever felt about being a celebrity. Yay.

So we go in. I love this. We get to our seats. They're floor seats. It's awesome. The show is, if you have a chance to see Adam Sandler, of all watch 100 fresh on netflix if you haven't it is the funniest special going no one's touches it no one's pound for pound laughs and silliness and like just fun no one special touches it i'm telling you maybe bo burnham but bo burnham has

like an edge of depression throughout the whole thing. There's like an existential crisis. Adam Sandler, tell me. Watch that special and tell me it's not the hardest you've laughed at any special, comedy special out there. It is the best. So we are. His whole show is so funny. He did like an hour and a half of just him.

We saw Rob Sander open. He was great. And then it goes into Sandler. Sandler's killing was stand up music everything so from the 100 fresh special i've become obsessed with two songs on there or three alcoholic lawyer um if you can find it on spotify it's about an alcoholic lawyer you just gotta just listen to alcoholic lawyer it's literally a 20 second song and it's so funny and then station 69 which is about two astronauts who 69 each other in space and it's so funny and it's just it literally

is one of my like favorite songs i listened to it earlier that day when i was running in the park um i just think it's a beautiful song and then the chris farley song and you guys have heard me talk about this recently like i've been obsessed with the chris farley song i was struggling with bob saget for us yeah i played it for yeah i didn't even know adam sandler was coming to town when i And you guys have heard me talk about this recently. Like, I've been obsessed with the Chris Farley song. I was struggling with Bob Saget's song. You played it for us. Yeah. On the girl strip. Yeah.

I didn't even know Adam Sandler was coming to town when I played it for you guys. I've been playing it for everyone. I'm obsessed. So then we go. And I was saying to Chris early in the show, I was like, man, my life would be made if they played Farley's song. Because it's the only one out of 100% Fresh, the special, that I was like, they might redo. But I don't even think Adam would do that. I was like, man like man it would be i think i would lose it because i'm so emotional about

that song i just seeing it live would be like seeing wilco do i am my mother like taylor swift do you are on your own kid like that's how good that song is to me but i had no because comedians are so weird about repeating material i knew he wouldn't sing it so then at the end he starts i hear all of a sudden the the tinkling of keys and i'm like it's station 69 they're fucking doing my favorite song like farley i knew was a chance they would sing it but not really much station 69 there was no chance they were gonna play it and then he played it and it is so good and rob snyder played the the astronaut who he you know 69s with and it's so funny doesn't he do that in the special too yes but he comes out walking in this one because in the special he's like flying and he's wearing an astronaut suit this he just puts on a helmet but it was

still so good down 69 yes so it's like the song is like it's awfully cold in outer space tonight i sent the message back to earth to tell them we're all right uh i i i check the something something and look for instruments to fix and he's like but my favorite part of space is when we suck each other's dicks and it's like and the whole thing is like they are floating through outer space and they they can't control it and they turn in a way that they both suck each other's dicks accidentally. And they call it, it's just another accident on Station 69. And then he's like, and then at the end, he goes, it's just another accident. And then Rob Sider goes, it's just another thing that on purpose I did.

And they go, it's just another afternoon on Station 69. It's so good. But the music and the melody is just, I don't know about it. I just like love it. It's not even the joke part that makes me laugh as hard. It's just like a beautiful song. So then they play that.

Then they played Farley. I'm like crying, tearing up. Then we have a guy come over and like get our attention. We're like in the row and he like passes down these, like these like stickers that say Adam Sandler and the date. And then my name on them.

And he passes for five of them. And there's five of us. It's me, Chris, Kirsten, Tim, Chris's brother and Emma, Tim's wife.

And I'm like, I don't even know what these are, but we're like watching the show. We're like, I guess they're backstage dresses, but I don't know in what contact, like, I don't know what to do with any of these.

And then at the, like after he finishes Farley, the guy comes back, you know, 30 minutes after he gave us the passes and he's like, come on guys, come on. And so we are ushered out and then we get to go backstage.

We're on the side of the stage for like the last song, which is a beautiful song. It's the song. I want to grow old with you. The one from wedding singer. And then, um, and then we go backstage and then we are

backstage in this area the same area when i went to the blues game where there was like a buffet we get to hang and see all that like the blues coach and all these stuff same area i'm like oh been here before was nancy pelosi lady there as they should as they should. As they should. That sounds like my mom. Like, Mom, they gave me best best kisses for Adam Sandler. As they should, you're a goddamn star. Take it back, Julie. Now give me that microphone, Nick.

And so, yeah. Criminal. I'm a criminal, baby. Criminal. I'm a criminal, baby. Criminal. I'm going to sing it alone. I want to sing it alone. We should call my mom to see her side of things. Please.

Please. So then we go backstage. And then we are all freaking out. Because we know we're about to meet Adam Sandler. It's Adam Sandler. I really just said recently, I think he's the last person comedically that i'm like i haven't met him and julia louie dreyfus jennifer aniston who would be like really big to me and so i am like in that kind of weird state where we're all looking like tim me emma kirsten's like more chill kirsten's like oh is there a bathroom like we enter the buffet area and i'm like

ask the guy who like just brought us there i was like how can i get out of here to go to the bathroom we like entered this like quarantined off area for vip and kristen's like um like okay so like how long do you think we're gonna stay here no i was excited i was just i was being i was being coolio coolio just like trying to be she didn't even have to be coolio k from kansas just like she's crying so i did have to pee but i just was looking for tim and tim's a comedian i'm we're like chris where i go we're about to be at fucking sandra like we're like losing it then it gets to be like a little bit longer and i'm like okay i really have to pee and i don't want a picture with adam sandler where i look like I'm four months pregnant with like pee.

So I walk out because I go, Kirsten, I'm going to go. And Kirsten tells me where it is. And I start walking out. And then I see Adam Sandler. And I just like turn around and go, he's coming. He's coming. He's coming. And he walks in.

And I'm like, they're like, this is Nikki Glaser. And I'm like, oh, hi. And he's like, Nikki. And I went in for a hug. And he goes in for a fist pound as I'm going for a hug. And I go, I sorry i go as i'm hugging him i go oh my god i'm so sorry you went in for the fist and he goes no i was just giving you the option and then he fist pounds everyone else i'm like no he does not like germs yeah he does not want a hug and i went in for a hug so that was embarrassing but also who cares he's gracious doesn't yeah he doesn't care. And then he was so nice.

And then I was like, my boyfriend is like, you know, he's producing. He goes, I heard. He goes, who's that? And then they meet. And he meets all of us. And then everyone's just digging into the food. Like all the crew. He's like, who wants barbecue?

Rob Snyder. And there's a guy that's in um water boy that plays he's there too and um it's just like and then the guy that brought us backstage like their stage manager who's he's i was like thank you so much i was like and he was like i've been to dinner with you like three times and i'm like wait what and he's like yeah it's been i've been at dinner dinners with spade i'm like i don't how do i not remember and i was like it was probably a dinner where it was too many people and i was too shy and he was like, yeah, I've been at dinners with Spade. I'm like, I don't, how do I not remember? And I was like, it was probably a dinner where it was too many people and I was too shy. And he was like, yeah, I was shy too.

I felt bad. But he was really sweet and he was like, and he really set up the, I feel like he facilitated the whole thing. So I want to thank him for getting us those VIP tickets. So it was just like so, but i talked to adam like a lot like i went over and told him that i used to babysit for judd apatow and for his children not him and that he called one night and was the nicest he was like i vaguely remember that he kind of liked that story he was asking about um i told my friends to spade he said i'm sorry about that um he uh he was just like so cool and then oh we talked about

his i was like that set was amazing because it was so funny there were so many new songs oh my god he has this one song where he like he like he talks about like when you i don't want to burn it but he talks about when you like have a balloon and you just want to like let it go and like back in the 80s you could just let a balloon go and you'd like watch it go up in the air. And it would just be an event where everyone would like watch the balloon go up and up. And everyone, it was just fun to be like, it gets so high. Like, wow, wow. And you watch it.

But now it's like pollution, you know, like you can't do that. And so now he's like talks about like he had a balloon and like someone was like don't do it and he's like i'm not gonna do it i'm taking it home i'm just gonna take it home with it and then it's in the car and it's like blocking your fucking view and he's like i just want to let it go so bad and then he like he pretends to like go for the door and he's like oh it accidentally fell out of my hand and then the guy's like you that was on person he goes no it wasn't and then he's like but look at it like you just gotta still look at it and then the balloon then later that night the balloon comes back he hears something at his window and the

balloon comes back and he's like thank you thank you for letting me fly it was my dream to fly and he's like okay balloon cool i'm glad you got that and the balloon's like i have it's one of two dreams i have i don't want to ruin it but it's like he goes okay cool i'm glad you got your dream because i said i had two dreams and he goes okay oh i guess what's the other one he goes i just really want someone to go down on me it's this balloon it's second dream that's that's the beauty of adam sandler's, it goes from this like relatable thing of like, oh, you release a balloon and it's so fun to watch. And it's like, even that is like very specifically,

like it's a thing that's relatable that we all know, but no one's ever put it in those words. And it was just so, it brought us all together. Then he starts talking about going down on this balloon and then it gets wild. It's so funny. Like untying the balloon and then the air comes out just a little bit like

and the balloon goes like oh that was a queef but he called it something he was like yeah he called it like a helicweef or something like um and it was it's just it was so absurd so funny but i was just telling him like how great his new hour was and he's like uh you know it's just so hard to get a new hour i'm like i'm not writing songs and producing like heart rendering like the farley song is one of the best songs i've heard in a decade like it's touched me and so like the what he's doing is much harder than santa you know offense to every santa all like the videos and the photo montages and just it's so visually like you're not bored for one not even one second and he's so lovely anytime someone goes like i love you he's like he just goes like love you

lovely like he has to do it a million times during the show but he does it in a way that doesn't make everyone do it you know for a while i was like stop acknowledging them because they're gonna keep doing it but he's he's so gracious gracious he's so nice he's so he's so full of love he talked about st louis in the perfect way like it was a master class for me in terms of like going to to see how someone can make a night so special he does a song about selfies and how lame they are and then by the end of it he's like but selfies are actually fucking cool let's take a bunch and he takes a selfie with the whole stadium he gets every little corner so that you see yourself in it. And it's on the big screen.

So then you're a part of the show. And then he does a part where he sings about, he just is like, okay, I need a couple in their 20s. And then he puts a flashlight on them. He holds a flashlight. And then he sings like, he came to the show tonight because he wanted to go. And then he does a story about them he's like just know that if i find you with the flashlight this isn't exactly your story we're just having fun he's just very protective of everyone but also having such a good time um and it was just like it was so cool to meet him and then by the end of it so cool um

yeah we were just like the guy was walking us out that got us in there and his stage manager and was like, Adam asked you if you're on the road. You know why he did that, right? And I was like, no. And he was like, he would want you to come on the road. And I was like, no, that's not why he asked me. Because he was like, are you on the road right now? And I was like, yeah, like every weekend.

This is my first weekend off in like a month or so. And he was like, yeah, that's why i asked you and i was like well tell him i will cancel my tour no offense anya and matt i will do anything to go on the road so i'm really hoping that he puts in a good word and i get to go out on some dates with him and just fly in and you could say i would come see you again yeah i said i would do station 69 but i have to be a man because they suck each other's dicks and that so i was like i'll transition for that song i want you to be in one of his songs like i want him to do a like a song collab with you i would love it i mean it really inspired me oh my gosh i just want to do more songs because they're just short they can just just be one verse and then have a punchline and then you go into the bit.

Like you can, the song can be one verse, a chorus, and then, and then I crashed my plane into a hill. And then it's like done. And then everyone laughs. It doesn't have to be like,

you don't need to weird Al it or to even Bo Burnham it where it's like a whole song with a bridge and like you don't need it. And I like how you just have like, he had a beat one song. It was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom and he just say guy in the movie theater with a backpack boom boom boom boom boom boom boom he's alone and like you're how you're gonna all nervous yeah sitting between me and the exit so he just is like yeah talking about like fat cop

on a horse what did he do to get his squad car ticket from him like he's just he's talking about like fat cop on a horse what did he do to get his squad car ticket from him like he's just he's talking about things in society that we like all notice like it was just a device to it was so and then there was a song about bathroom stall like public restrooms and how each stall has something disgusting like one is filled with shit one sprayed with piss the other's filled with blood one is like moving down to the handicap got a homeless guy passed out what's that and vulnerable like it's just like mundane it's it's observational it's funny it is out of the box it is disgusting at times there were some songs that were like so gross that you were like oh and then the visuals with them on the screen so another thing that made me go oh adam sandler is known as this like squeaky clean if i talked to i'm not trying to

play the card of like i'm persecuted but i get known all every single fucking interview i do talks about how lewd i am how crude how just how disgusting i am how i don't hold back how all i talk about is sex and i doubt that adam sandler gets asked about how disgusting his jokes are all the time even though i love that about his jokes he should not change them but i feel like why i'm so sick of doing interviews where i get talked about like well uh just to know let you know that this station um there could be old people listening and i go who knows more about sex and like war and like they've old people why are we protecting old people i got told that this week we have a lot of old people who listen to our station it's like are they four-year like i think they can handle this jokes yes they have been around they like it why are we protecting them?

You have Rusties. You have fans that are Rusties? Yeah, dude. But any takeaways for you from Adam Sandler night? I just loved it because I love writing little songs. You know that it's like my thing. Yes. And I just saw how easy it, I mean, he made it look easy because it was like, oh my gosh,

I've totally thought that thought. But I loved how. You could do that. You could do what he does. The attention span was so easy. Like he would be like, grass is growing. The sky is blue. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

And my daughter's friends hate me or something. Like it's just like a picture of his daughter and her friend. Yeah. Like, and I hate my daughter's friends. And then he has this whole story about meeting his daughter's like and her friend like yeah like and i hate my daughter's friends and then he has this whole story about meeting his daughter's friend in the in the kitchen and how he's just this kid was eating his turkey out of the fridge it's like you gotta go see adam sandler live if you can't fly to a city and go see it it was so good but yeah at one point so we were in the crowd watching it and he had a venti starbucks cup and i was just like i want to know

what his order is so bad because he's like sipping this starbucks cup and i was just like i want to know what his order is so bad because he's like sipping this starbucks cup and i'm just like i wonder what it is and i assumed it was black coffee because most men are just like they just drink black coffee and um and then kirsten were backstage and and oh and kirsten also at one point we were joking if i like because people kept yelling out in the lulls like, I love you, Adam. You're the Sandman. You can do it. You know, like all these things.

So Kirsten was like, what if you yelled out, what is your Starbucks order? I knew you wanted to know. So then we're backstage and Kirsten, we're joking again if I asked him what his Starbucks order was, like how ridiculous that would be. Right? That was the joke. I turned my back for two seconds and Kirsten goes, Adam, Nikki's dying to know. She wants to be able to get you a Starbucks someday. What is your Starbucks?

But why did you say she wants to get you a Starbucks someday? All I said, let me rephrase it. We were already there. He was sitting alone kind of looking over at us more. Yeah, he wanted an interaction. Because we had Rob Schneider and the group. Because that's the thing. When you're a famous person,

people think you want to be left alone and then you end up not being a part of conversations because everyone's trying to respect, like, in retrospect, I really wish I would have talked to him more because I just was like,

he's tired, he wants to do his thing and I forget that I always want to hang after shows and then later, the guy that walked me out was like, because I said to him,

I was like, if Adam brings me on the road, just let him him know i will hang as much as he wants and i will always leave him alone as much as he wants i have no i have respectful boundaries of his art and he goes oh no all adam wants to do is hang and i was like oh i want to do his tour manager is an angel i know he's the best you know it's like i just like we just have to give him a little bit of props because there's some people who just are so good at networking and connecting people and that he just has this kind of foresight to to make this happen it added so much more to just going to see adam sandler front row it's so much more than that yeah just the best thing is when people have a

good crew that know how to deal with other people. So you don't, that's like their job. To like curate what they want and make it. And just make it easy. Make your night easy. Make everything flow. It's such a hard job too.

Like you have to know exactly when to go out to find Nikki Glaser in the crowd with her friends and have the things ready. Yes. And sprinkle these things. Yeah. It's a talent. I didn't have anything else to really. What is his order? I didn't have anything else to ask him. And sprinkle these things. Yeah. It's a talent. Anything else to order?

I didn't have anything else to ask him. I didn't talk to him like, hey, I'm Kirsten. I was just, I just like, nice to meet you, Bump. He looked at me and boom. So then the night was winding down.

He was looking over and I was just like, I glanced at him. He made eye contact. I was like, Adam, what's your Starbucks order? Nikki wants to grab you when next time you're in town.

And he was like, Black Coffee Stevia. I didn't like that line. I just had to, whatever. It's cute. He're in town. And he was like, black coffee stevia. I didn't like that line. I just had to. Oh, it's cute. He didn't care. And I was like, no, I wasn't like trying to get him. I was like, he knows that.

You're a celebrity. It reminded me. It gave. It was triggering. It was giving, if I could use a term that I don't use. It was giving energy from when Kirsten and I took a train one year because her mom's scared of flying. Eighth grade.

To eighth grade, to New Mexico to visit her grandparents. And we got there and Kirsten just kept telling her grandmother that I loved women's rights and that she should tell me

about suffrage and like the women's rights movement. And so Kirsten would leave me alone with her grandma and be like, Nikki's dying. She loves women's rights. Tell her about it. Kirsten would leave me alone with her grandma and be like, Nikki's dying. She loves women's rights. Tell her about it.

And then I would be like stuck with her grandma and think about women's rights. You're like looking through a photo album, looking at me like, I'm going to kill you. Yeah, and it was giving that for me where Kirsten like shouts something and then like throws me into it and then I'm stuck. But his order is black coffee with Stevia.

See, you wanted to know and I helped you. And that was like- And I go, I was right. I didn't guess Stevia. But, yeah. I know. At least I have training in meeting your famous friends. Like, getting through it and not being like, so, David Spade. Oh, my God.

I loved that movie that you were in. You're not punishing them. I saw it and I watched it. No, I just sit and wait and wait. And I get to say one or two things. And I feel like that's a good boundary. Oh, yeah. You and wait and wait. And I get to say one or two things. And I feel like that's a good boundary. Oh, yeah. You can go in hard.

I just don't want you to say something dumb like, Nikki wants to get you one next time. Nikki can't wait to be on. That was the embarrassing part. I don't care if you ask him. Nikki's wondering what your order is. But when you said, Nikki wants to get you one, I was just like, no.

Nikki, what if I walked up and I was like, hey, Adam. Oh, my god. You know what? I think Nikki would love to be on tour with you. She's just like a assassin. I mean, that I was like, hey, Adam, oh my God, you know what? I think Nikki would love to be on tour with you. She's just like obsessed. I mean, that would be hell too. It's kind of like when we had, well, I didn't do this with my friends,

but when I looked at other normal kids doing this, where they had a crush on a boy and the friend was the one who was like, oh, I think Amy likes you. Adam, Nikki likes you. Yeah. And then like, Nikki, why don't you guys kiss? You're just like, what?

That was kind of my job. Yes. Being your six-month-older chaperone through high school. That is true. Six months older. You knew better than to do it with boys because I would have just turned into a puddle of hell.

Wait, who did she do it with? Adam Sandler last night. What would you do? And with her grandmother. Or she'd be in a store or something. She just put me in embarrassing situations. I do love to put you in. Because it made you who you are today, now you can handle anything.

Oh, yeah, your response was everything. Thank you so much. I'm trying to think of other examples where you would just be like handle anything. Oh yeah, your response was everything. Thank you so much. I'm trying to think of other examples where you would just be like anything. Nikki like loves your shirt. Like,

like where did you get like we'd be making fun of something and then Kirsten would like point it out. Nikki really wants to get into archery. She wants to do it.

You want to tell her about it? Yeah, like if we were like at a school thing like going to see like someone work with like owls. You love that though.

But I do love owls. Yeah. I mean, going to the art museum and telling the curatorls but i do love owls yeah i mean going to the art museum and telling the curator that you'd like to go through the mummy exhibit another time and then you were such a polite kid you would have been like sure yeah i mean i'm still a polite kid and then we went over but yeah it was it was an adventurous. We went to my sister's house and her kids were just wild. Wild enough. The pitch was just like tea kettles and cats screaming. After a while, we were like, oh my God. Oh yeah, I always go over there and I wear nice Lululemon new pants that I just pulled out of the dryer.

And they have just crap all over them like stickiness like kids are just so dirty like I felt like I got done going to like Bonnaroo after that like I was just like I need to shower for like eight days like getting away from kids because they're just like drooling everywhere they're they're sucking on things and then they're jumping on you with like hands with bananas in them like mothers just never can be clean they always have a sucker and then they grab your hand and it's sticky and then but poppy was chasing me around with a full banana in her hand that she was like grasping onto and then like shoving it into my hair it was just like i don't love you it's like anymore like when you have that like to get away from me Treat me as persona non grata.

It's like calisthenics too. Get me. You can't get me. And then running around sprinting. I was wearing my brooks. I was like, I have a disease where I can't walk anymore. We were playing make believe and I go, I can't. I lost my legs.

Use of my legs so I couldn't chase them. And then they were like, your legs are healed. And I was like, god damn it your legs are healed they would just like suddenly like do cast a spell on my legs now my legs are healed and i was like i gotta go they're so cute i love them and then they started getting naked and that was a whole thing but at one point i i was like i'm gonna join the party and so i just pulled down my i've never mooned anyone in my life literally i don't moon i just pulled down my pants to my butt because they were just just my butt like who cares so i just pulled down my butt like because they were just going

around in circles and we would run through the living room and they're running through naked and then what i started running with them and just to surprise lauren and kirsten i went through and i pulled down my pants just my butt and like skipped behind and then the kids saw my butt and they were laughing they like couldn't handle it and then i apologized to laura later i'm like should i have not done that and she was like no that was hilarious it was just your butt okay like i have the video i'll delete it if you want oh you should delete it for your sake because my butt is disgusting i froze it and it was like librarian flat mrs stifler like the most disgusting ass I've ever seen in my life. Like I honestly did not care

because it was supposed to be for a joke. So like, it's funny. I woke up today wanting to kill myself because I hate how much I look. But my ass yesterday is truly one of the grossest things I've ever seen in my life. Like I did not know my,

I think Chris should break up with me based on it. But I did not care at all. And I still don't care. Because I don't care about my ass, really. Yeah, it's behind you. Yeah. Leave all that behind you. But if any of you saw your ass look like mine did, you would jump off a cliff.

You really would. It's one of the worst asses I've ever seen. Well, it's an adult butt that when you're in motion, I think that was part of the thing you were like, oh, my God. Because you were, like, skipping. And I was, like, was like pausing it and going slowly and like backing you up and going forward and backing you up it's like an adult butt in motion with no i could tell my sister in person was so horrified they were just like trying to make it sexy you were trying to have like a goofy silly butt exactly that's the difference is like i don't if i can look ugly if i'm trying to look ugly i don't I don't care at all

when I look ugly and I don't want to be that's where I like lose my mind and start crying all day but like you were like shaking it around and it was like

yeah it didn't bother me because it was not meant to be it wasn't meant to look hot it was not supposed to be hot at all it was to be around kids and just show your butt and be like oh my god

aunt Nikki just showed her butt like it's just they won't even remember it if I did it right you are setting a foundation for being the most fun aunt I mean you were sandlering yeah yeah I don't know I probably could get some kind of tickets in

some county for what I did to show I mean I could get some money off that okay sell it yeah that's true oh yeah you could well I could get some money off of the fucking butt shot you sent me, bitch. That's true. All right, we've got to go to break. We'll be right back after this.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back yeah kristin took a hot picture for her husband the other day and it was i saw it on her phone and then i was like will you send that to me because it's so hot like it's inspiring and so she sent it to me it's inspiring it is it's so hot it was the angle and i know my mom's listen to this. And she's not like in the generation. Will you show us how you set up the camera? Can I show you how you did it? Yeah.

Yeah. And so at karaoke. So you have to watch this on YouTube if you want to see. At karaoke last night I did the same. It's the best way to take a picture of your butt if you have a good one. And you want to send it to a guy or a girl. Like when I'm out of town and I just want to say, hey, Corey, look at this. So I set it up.

Okay. So the phone is propped up against something like a mug, a friend's mug. Coming off the mic. She's coming off the mic. So you get up. She gets up. You take a staggered stance. So one leg backwards.

A staggered stance. You can still talk into, yeah. Kind of like a lunge. A lunge. Hold on, I'll take it right now, actually, so I can get this. So you keep one leg straight, like down. Oh, this is good. Okay.

So you're in a staggered lunge stance. Okay. Slightly pivot your hips so that the cheeks are facing the front of the screen. Lean back. A staggered lunge stance. Arch the back. I don't think I could do that movement. Boom.

I'll send it to you guys. Yeah, we'll send it. We'll post it on our story. It's perfect. Yeah, make sure. I wonder if my butt could look that good in that though, because you have a great butt. That's the thing.

Well, do you want to see if I can? So basically you're just doing a lunge and you take a picture of it. From the side. A side angle. Yes. Well, she had her pants off.

Are you tightening your butt muscles as you do this? I'm flexing at my hips. So that kind of my, my butt bones are going back into like a squat position. Do you hear Kirsten getting Pilates voice? So if you you just do it with a round but you do have to use a little technical yeah i can't arch my back like that if you're here it's not gonna look as good but if you extend your hips and kind of yeah you gotta pop that ass whoever is watching youtube clip is like jerk offable right now from kirsten going it's kind of it's a little bit of a party i know

nikki's gonna listen to this later to take a nap too so i can hunch my back send your legs yeah i can hunch your back yeah do a hunchback and send why okay here's my question hunchback butt pick why don't our bodies naturally do what they're supposed to do why is everything that's the looks good hard because the human body was designed to move as efficiently as possible. And that means that there's a lot of muscular compensations that occur. So over time, you develop muscle imbalances and injuries due to your body loading the way it really shouldn't. Where do we go wrong?

Why can't we just stay the way? Because babies have perfect posture. They walk with an arched back they have their butt sticking out they walk perfectly aligned well over time like is it shoes over time shoot i don't who knows chicken or the egg but like there's no there's no question of chicken or the egg when does it start you're like even as babies like you're not supposed to do an inverted v-sit where the knees you're bending and the toes go out because then it creates issues for when you're standing your foot flattens and the knee goes in and your butt gets weak and then why

do kids do that naturally because it feels good just because they're really lax like their muscles are really lax and not fully formed till about puberty so why puberty we harden up a little bit the right way they do come out the right way we need to go to pilates well because we don't we no longer work in fields and we're not hunting and gathering and moving all day we sit and we sit and we sit and eat foods that are inflammatory which create even more inflammation okay what are what are the foods we should avoid they're inflammatory popcorn fast food fried food you don't need popcorn right because it's like a uv popcorn's destructive on the digestive system what do you call it you're like it's like a ayurvedic medicine at people no but i mean you

call popcorn something when you're like i can't have that it's so there's there's ayurveda is the earth elements reflected in our bodies so like it's it's air heat like it's air fire and um and earth you're like it's so pitta vata p too pitta. Vata, pitta, kapha. It's like three signs that you're made up of more than one of the elements. This would be a great we know nothing. Yes. There we go. So anyway, popcorn's heart.

This is also one of those subjects that I get so nervous about because no matter how many times I learn vata, pitta, kapha, it goes right out my mind. But it's literally just like you can take a quiz. You can kind of see what applies to you. And then you can look at a list of stuff that's one better than the other because i know i'm the worst one the worst one i'm probably whatever the one is there's like no one wants to be on that one and you're like no it's good to be that one it's for good it's like good for like nordic temperature yes which one's the worst? And you're not that one. You're the skinny, tall one that's really fast.

You are made of air and light and just like ideas. So I don't need to take the quiz. You already know. You don't want to know what the one is that I am and that my mom is. It's a cow grazing in a field.

Cow fa? Are you cow fa? You and your mom are both tiny little bird bones. No. So you guys, different times in your life you can test for different things i think i'm

more whatever nikki is now you are one like let's say you are kapha but where your imbalance lies i've i've seen a practitioner to kind of diagnose like i am pitta which is a fire but my imbalances lie in the vata so the air so when i'm my imbalances are anxiety, worry, fear. Whose aren't? Well, kaphas don't have a ton of anxiety. Like I have. What? Yes. This is the astrology of India.

Well, I don't have a lot of anxiety. I have a lot of depression. That's kapha. That's a kapha. Okay. So I'm a fat cow. It's not fat cow. Whatever it is.

I knew I was the worst one. If you have excess kapha not that there's anything wrong with being fat you need to add vata so maybe the foods you eat that are like you love foods with like air and crispy

like that can help balance because they're low calorie and I have an eating disorder it's not because I'm pitta or kapha it's just interesting it's because I'm a person that grew up in the 2000s

who didn't get enough emotional support from her parents at a young age but some of these types are also- And I'm a Gemini. It's meant to just be fun and like you notice things like if you eat popcorn and maybe you don't poop for two days, that's kind of not-

Who would notice that? I do. Who could trace not pooping to I had popcorn? Me. Really? See, Anya knows. She's in touch. Wait, do you not poop from popcorn?

No, but I know when there's something awry yes in my body whereas i how do you do that my mom has covid right now my mom has covid she's like i feel amazing i'm not sick at all i give her a test the stripe comes immediately i'm like you have a you're very positive right now just chill out she has no idea she's even sick. She has all, I'm like giving her the test. She has tons of snot. Meanwhile, she's like,

I feel amazing. I feel great. What is that type, Kirsten? I mean, it's not like that's a type. Well, I wish I was someone that could eat a little thing and go,

oh, my stomach hurts. I'm just sensitive. Like Anya, it's sensitivity. I think like the more HSP, highly sensitive, like this karaoke room last night for an hsp my sister would have like been like banging her head on the wall are you good

at this do you know when you eat popcorn and don't poop you're like oh i can trace it to the thing that i ate that made me not poop i don't even know i haven't pooped i was on dancing with the stars for eight weeks and didn't know that i hadn't pooped. When was your last poop? Yesterday at the dispensary? When was the last time I pooped? Yesterday. But I mean, if I go a long time, there are many times I've been constipated for several days and I'm just in a bad mood and I have no

idea. It's because I haven't pooped. When you're bloated, you're very sensitive to it. If you were to do those shots for your eggs, you know you would have been like, oh, I feel gross. Well, you know, gut were to do those shots for your eggs you know you would have been like oh i feel gross well you know gut and like anxiety is all linked yes especially when like i remember when i was taking antidepressants like one of the warnings was like oh you're gonna be pooping a lot and like once you know like like right at the start as the pills are starting to stabilize or whatever I had a lot I was always on the toilet

gut and brain and anxiety is all connected with my body I guess did it clear you out and kind of like helped I think it's just all like the it's like in the nervous system it's all linked well whatever I need to

poop I just smoke a little weed and then for whatever reason smoke makes my body go like, get out of me. Or it relaxes. Yes. It relaxes. Because the main point of all of the Ayurvedic stuff is just to. Or chug caffeine. Put your body into like an equilibrium to where you're like mentally, physically, like as whole as you can be.

And well. This stuff depresses me because it's so much work. No, it's not at all, Nikkiki all it would take was you to go you have to like grain up like like little chia seeds and do overnight oats and you have to go in a red light sauna and you have to go to a guy that sticks pins in you and like feels your stomach nodes and then you have to give you a vaginal massage yeah no what so what could I change that would make it better based on the things you've observed this weekend?

So with Vata, based on the things I've observed, I've been chugged this like latte. It's a decaf latte though. But it is almond milk. Is this bad?

I've been taking notes since I arrived Friday at five o'clock. What I've observed so far. Okay. No, I mean, I think easy things you can do in the winter

is like decreasing the amount of bubbly, decreasing the amount of carbonated cold drinks, increasing warm cooked foods like soups and roasted vegetables and like proteins. You know. Can I warm up my protein bars?

Just put them in my pocket. Like that's just too, getting outside as much as possible like our walk we did in forest park yesterday i get outside once a day yeah and go for a run yeah i mean there's just little things you can do to help ensure that you're what about wearing a shirt that says i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i bought this faster than i've ever bought anything in my life did you just google i'm sad shirt no it just faster than I've ever bought anything in my life. Did you just Google I'm sad shirt? No, it just came up on my feed.

They knew I needed it. Final thought. I got it from Reductress. Oh, because you're always sharing their posts. Yeah, I love their posts. And like their posts always nail me so hard. There was one that was like, woman celebrates 40th birthday by admitting to herself

she doesn't want kids and stop saying oh maybe someday and i was like i cried when i saw it because i was like finally something that makes there's other people out there that have been faking this like maybe someday so that you'll still like me and still treat me like a real woman do i fit in maybe someday and yeah when i saw this shirt it said i'm sad i put it in my um i put it in the basket and the instagram cart you know when you buy things on instagram and then i go i can't wear that it's just too obvious and it's like two it's gonna start conversations with people and so i didn't buy it and i was just like and i'm not spending 32 on a shirt that says i'm sad that's like not good for you and then i got sadder and it came up again and i was like i need that shirt so bad because

it just says maybe people will be nicer to me or something or maybe people will like take uh if i wear it they'll be they'll be more gentle or they'll be more understanding of me being um not pleasant or something and i think that every one of us needs this shirt on at some point you should be able to wear it and everyone is just easier on you that day my mom used to have a t-shirt in the 80s and it was when she and my dad were having a lot of marital arguments and it was painted feet, like footprints all over. And it said, go ahead, walk all over me. And she wore it every day. And I remember my dad was like, I really don't like that shirt.

Oh my gosh. That's like a nice, was it like the most passive aggressive shirt in existence? I think it's pretty aggressive because passive for me i'm sad so often and i feel like people sometimes think i'm a jerk or like the reason that anyone's ever rude is because they're deeply sad inside like you have to like equate those two if someone cuts you off in traffic if someone gives you the finger if someone you know writes you up at work and like complains about you they're deeply sad if someone gives you the finger if someone you know writes you up at work and like complains about you they're deeply sad if someone's mad at you about something because you said something to

them that you told them the truth about something they asked you a question and you gave them the answer they didn't want and they're being mad at you about or whatever happens in your life they are sad if They are sad. So be gentle on them and be nice to them. And I feel like even the other day I canceled. I've just been every single day of my life promoting my shows on these radio stations and doing different interviews with like these small publications. And I don't think any of it works. But you have to do it because in case you have low ticket sales,

the promoter can't call you a diva and be like, well, she never did any of the press. So I say yes to literally every, so I call into radio stations three times a day sometimes. And like, you know, it's, it's a lot.

And so the other day I was just not up for it. And, or no, it was that it was the last one of a day of like and i was crying i was about to cry on like all of these because i was just like not in the mood for it and so i just told my assistant i was like can we get this one moved so she moved it and it was no problem because they're grateful i'm even calling in and i'm also grateful for them for putting me on air because it's not ideal for a radio station to have a call in. It's better in person. Before I was famous, you could never

call in. I would go into a town. I would go into Cleveland for a show over the weekend. You get in on a Thursday. You have a Thursday night show. The second you get in, you have to go to afternoon radio. And then Friday morning, you have to wake up at 6 a.m. and go to morning radio. And then you have to like there's and there's no calling in from your hotel room to make it easier. You have to go in. But when you get famous, they're like, call in. It's fine. I'm like, like, there's no calling in from your hotel room to make it easier. You have to go in. But when you get famous, they're like, call in. It's fine. I'm like, wow, it seems like calling in was actually an option all along.

It's very interesting. So anyway, calling into the show the other day that I had rescheduled. And my voice lesson went long. I was supposed to call in at 3.30. I got off my voice lesson at 3.08. I get in the car. And I'm like, well, they don't want me in a car because it sounds bad so i was like i'll just drive somewhere and park and call you know when you're driving you can it's like you can like hear it then it starts

pouring down rain and i'm like well then that this can't be good for audio so then i just was like oh they're not calling me no one seems to be like worried about me not calling in. And I was like, I'm just not going to call in and see if we like can just reschedule this, you know. Then I see my assistant goes, you missed your call at three an hour later. And I go, I know. Here's what happened. And she goes, and they just wrote, they don't need to reschedule. You're canceled.

And I was like, oh, they hate me. Because then I realized, oh, no, that was the call that was reschedule you're canceled and i was like oh they hate me because then i realized oh no that was the call that was rescheduled already this is two times i'm flaked on them which is like not okay and i didn't realize it was the same station there's so many stations i'm calling every day i didn't realize it was the same one so then i go fuck and so i found them on instagram and i wrote them and i was like here's what happened i'm so sorry i know you probably fucking hate me because i know these stations they're like nikki laser thinks she's fucking better than us and then i'm now going to be like this person that whenever my name comes up in a news thing they'll be like

well she used to be a friend of the show but she canceled on us twice because she thinks she's better than us and then everyone in cincinnati that listens to that station thinks i'm a jerk and then anytime my name comes up in company with them they'll be like i heard she's a bitch and then anytime those people that were in those company, I heard she's a bitch. And then anytime those people that were in those company hear, I heard she's a bitch. And then it spreads like the last of us, the mold spores, and it's all connected.

So I course corrected by writing to the station and being like, I'm so sorry. I was in a thing that went long. I got caught in the rain. I totally understand if you hate me. I just wanted to explain myself. I really appreciate you guys having me on. I'm sorry. And they,. I just wanted to explain myself. I really appreciate you guys having me on. I'm sorry. And they of course rescheduled right away. So then I have the call

with them and I get on and they're like, you know, a lot of history with you. You know, we, you were a friend of the show. You came on, uh, before the pandemic and did a promo. We had a lot of fun. And then during the pandemic, I reached out, time on Instagram to have you back on the show. And you just wrote back, too busy. That's all you wrote. And I'm like, that's a reply. That's an honest reply. That's a reply.

But you know what? Because I didn't say, thanks for asking. Sorry. Then it's rude. Talk with the moon into you. How's your daughter? Exactly. But I just wrote back too busy

and a lot of i bet a lot of besties are like yeah nikki's written back stuff like that to me too go look in your text messages is every text you've ever sent anyone laced with thanks sorry exclamation mark no sometimes you are too busy you know what's ruder than writing and the and the girl had my back because he said that and the girl goes well she could have just not written back and i go yeah check how many comedians never write back to you when you write them the thing is i at least write back because i i know besties have written me and gone thank you so much for writing me back even when i do just like a heart and they go thank you so. You're the only person who's ever written back to me. No one,

right. There are a lot of people that they don't write back to anyone. So I, I was like, and I was like, I was probably sad that day. It was during the pandemic. You wrote me a paragraph about having me on your show.

I was getting too many inundations that week. And I was, and so I just wrote too busy. And because I wrote two words and i didn't write but thank you which i know takes two seconds i should have just written that and now i learned i'm always gonna add a but thank you or sorry um even though my voice lesson teacher just told me after i had to like change a voice he he's very strict and is like this is a college course you can't be late

and this is not something that we you know you show up for class and if you don't show up for class the class doesn't happen you don't reschedule the class like he's very which i like that was his pitch to me the first day so one time i had to reschedule it and ask him for a different time or i showed up for the wrong time and he was like and i was like i'm so sorry i i will come back later i can do it in this window i'm so sorry again my bad i'm sorry to show up at your door i didn't mean and he wrote back he was just he wrote back what did he write back kirsten um because i shared with the girls chat like be in the dance of the unknown like let's dance be in the dance with these circumstances yeah yeah

be in a dance with the circumstances i love that and i even told the girls chat i was like he is going to kill me for this like i am in deep trouble for this and you just and then we had our next lesson he goes before we start i just want to talk about something really quickly and i was like oh no fuck i'm gonna get reprimanded for being like late or something like 30 seconds late like i'm so scared of this guy or i used to be and he's like you are so hard on yourself and i was like i've heard this and he's like why and i go but why wouldn't i be when you tell me the first day of class that this is not a joke you can't be late this is a college course i go i don't understand why i get i get yelled at not yelled at but i get reprimanded by people by being like you're so hard on yourself but the world is hard on me

and i don't understand so then then i'm hard on myself for being hard on myself like i can't win and so then he goes you apologize too much and i go i'm never gonna stop doing that i'm it's not that i'm sorry i exist i'm not like i don't like these women that are like never gonna stop doing that I'm it's not that I'm sorry I exist I'm not like I don't like these women that are like never apologize stop saying sorry if I bump into you I'm gonna say I'm sorry

I'm sorry I think it's better than pardon or whatever you want me to say that's what Matt says or excuse me or like a Adam Sandler joke

you're welcome oh yeah but isn't he talking about over apologizing yeah yeah and it's like maybe insincere or what's he Adam Sandler joke. You're welcome. Oh, yeah. But isn't he talking about over apologizing? Yeah. Yeah, perhaps. And it's like maybe insincere?

Or what's his point? You apologize too much. His point is that I will never be a good singer if I am constantly punitive with myself. Because it's about relaxation. It's about being open. It's about trusting. And it's about like... Relax about being open it's about like trusting and it's about like relaxation it's like the energy the voice is in you and the only thing you don't have anything to do with your voice you have to let get out of the way of it it's in you and that's like an interesting thing

of like whatever talent you have like if you want to play guitar if you want to be a good writer you already are it's the you're getting in your way like it's you're doing things to prevent that talent from being found there's no it's there buddha yes yeah he's really he honestly is like my therapist we had that day that he talked to me about that we have an hour session and we spent 45 minutes talking about self-love and like self-flagellation and just self um self-deprecation like and on just like and he told me about his marriage and he told me about his the loss of his you know losses he's had it was just like and i go i feel like this is he was like i i go i bet you do this with a lot but he's like i do but he also

was like there's something special that we have like a good we have a really good bomb bond but i almost said bomb we have a great bomb uh that we're coming out with it's on sale on instagram yeah if you use promo code i hate myself i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad i'm sad you can get um 20 off your first month's supply of our singer's balm. No, but Michael Rocchio is the shit and I love him so much. Anyway, what a show. Thank you, Kirsten,

for being here. You have to drive back to Kansas City. Be in the dance with the circumstances, Kirsten. Dance with the circumstances. Sit in the car in a hunchback

for four hours. Pitta. Pitta Pitta Kaffa and fata Just get a kaffa latte I'll get a kaffa latte That sounds nice Definitely a kaffa latte

Okay, I'm gonna drink I'm gonna eat more root vegetables that are warm and grains Cook soups I'm gonna go walk more But I don't cook I'm hungry So where am I gonna get these soups? Meditate

Whole Foods Right down the street Okay, I'm gonna do it We're going there right now actually I need to get some lunch. All right, let's do it. Okay, got to go. Thank you guys so much for listening to the show.

We'll be back tomorrow. Thank you so much. Don't be careful. And... I don't know. I couldn't think of a Jack for... I want to just... Jack karaoke.

Okay, okay. We got it. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast join late night legend john stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines exclusive extended interviews and more now this is a second term we can all get behind listen to the daily, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.