The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #318 "This One..."

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

Nikki is all about a book a Bestie recommended about emotionally immature parents and their side effects. Anya explains how she sets healthy boundaries with her family. Nikki can't fake it when she is not in the mood to show up for work. Being honest about it led her to great bonding and she looks forward to more with her dentist. Nikki shares her takeaways from performing at the Cynthia Rowley comedy fashion show and who she pissed off. They go over Rihanna's Super Bowl performance. Nikki sees right through Olivia Wilde's IG post about ASAP Rocky & Rihanna and explains what she really meant by it.  --- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina   More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Millie is a sex slave. Here's Nikki. Hello.

Here I am. Welcome to the show. It's Nikki Glaser Podcast. It is Wednesday when you're hearing this, or I don't know when you're hearing this. It could be a Wednesday anytime in the future. But yeah, if you're listening to it the first day it came out, it's Wednesday. But we're recording it on Tuesday. It's Valentine's Day here in the world where we're recording this.

And I hate this day, personally. And we're all coupled up. Wait, Noah, you hate this day too? Yes. I am so annoyed with Instagram. I'm disgusted by all the love going out for just my little sloppy lover. My little bunny. This year it's reels.

It's not even photos. It's video compilations. Really? Oh, God. I can't take it. I just do not have a boyfriend who would ever do like unless we were like getting married and he wanted to like make a reel of me for like the event like which he's good at and does for a job he's not gonna put up a personal post of like me this one this there's no this one's coming at me i don't even want this one's because i think they are

lame and they kind of speak to like a guy who's a little bit pussified i think of just like uh whipped in a way no offense if your boyfriend does it i am jealous it's like i want it but i don't want it you know um but i can't take all the posts today. It just really is irritating me. And maybe I'm cynical. Do you want it or not? If Chris did it. I want it. But it would be out of character for him. That'd be like him being like,

I want you to have, you know, an ass. It's like, well, I can't give that to you. Why are you with me? You know, like why you, you shouldn't be with someone like me then if that's what you want. So it's like, you know, those things in relationships where you're like the person can't have so I want I want it from you know, I I there yes, I do want something I will say it is he's on the west coast. He got in really late last night

To um our airbnb that we're gonna share again there I'm arriving on sunday And today he had to like wake up and go to work so i'm allowing until i think we decided noon on the girls chat well then i i asked how long until noon pacific when i can have reason to get like okay where is it and then his argument would be which is logical because he's just a normal person, is why didn't you write me? Oh, really?

If you want Valentine's Day, I would think that would be mine of like, don't do this game of like waiting. If you want it now, write me. Don't do tests. Yeah, but let's not play a game like this is equal. This is not, let's not pretend this is a man's holiday too. This't do tests. Yeah, but let's not play a game like this is equal. This is not. Let's not pretend this is a man's holiday, too.

This is our day. Okay? Let's not make any bones about it. I know we have to pretend we're all equal. I'm very romantic, I come to find out. I want romance, as Anya puts on her lipstick. That's why I'm putting on my lipstick, for you. Yeah, for me.

I'm about to do a this one post for you. Thank you. I'd get a this one if I died tragically. That's when everyone's gonna, I'm gonna get all the posts I've ever wanted in my life when I die tragically. It's such an irony that you get all the attention you love and crave and all the love

after you've been smashed in the head by a log coming off of a truck or whatever it is however you get taken out like that's when you get it all this one we toured the country together we did podcasts together we were oh it would be amazing but the i hope i have instagram in purgatory wherever i'm hanging out won't you be so mad if you're dead and everyone starts making your death about them? You're just like, I barely know that person. Well, a little bit. I mean, I would like everyone to be saddened by my death,

for sure. I want people to be like, because I've been saddened by people's death. Because no matter how sad you are, you're making it about you. You know, like anyone crying, you could be misconst are you're making it about you you know like anyone crying you could be misconstrued as making it about you yes but what if the main people like like top posts on instagram are people that are on your like fifth tier of friends you're like i did a

podcast with you once and my boyfriend's on his fifth tier coming out of his eye um uh i wouldn't mind it like i kind of love that i've i've touched people who i barely know i feel like most people who would mourn my loss would not know me it would be like besties or people that have never fans of mine because i feel like i'm a fan of people that if they died i've i felt extreme loss of people i've barely known or like even i struggled with the bob saget thing of like i don't know him as much as john mayer knew him or stamos or you know all these people but yet no but you guys don't question time friends that's a real face but i facetimed him for my show that's the only reason you know that otherwise you wouldn't know the context of our relationship at all.

And you probably would have been like, what if I didn't FaceTime him? Then I'm not allowed to be sad? No, but you guys. Where does it count? You're allowed to be sad. You had a mutual admiration for one another. And I got to witness that in person. It was off air in a hallway at a radio station.

Yes. But I'm just saying, where do we draw the line? Where do we go? This person has no reason to be sad. Because this is where it gets into tricky territory for me. Because I think you have a reason to be sad. It wouldn't bother me if people made my death about them, I guess, is my point. We can't tell people how to feel.

Can we? That's generous. Really? What kind of post would annoy you posthumously for you if you saw someone post it that's like a fifth tier friend i mean i get annoyed by people who don't know someone who died and it's just like here's a long monologue about the one time i met them in a hallway and they were so kind to me and they talked to me about my mom and it's just like irene cara really this you're gonna make a three paragraph thing

about irene cara who doesn't even know you exist i get it that she was that i get why that's annoying because that person is so unselfaware and making like doing a eulogy for like they write more about that person than their mom but the reason they do is because they had a shitty mom. Yeah, you're very compassionate. That they don't want to write anything about. Can I add to Anya's? Yeah. So that, Nikki, I get why that's not annoying. It would be annoying if the photo was of them doing like that lunge ass shot that Kirsten did the other day. And it's just an excuse to show the photo.

Right, where that's just, well, yeah, that's what most photos have taken with me are of and i know that now because i take probably 250 photos after every show um with people and those showed photos i would say one one or two show up at the next show that that person sees me at they print them up and they hang them on the wall and they have me sign them so that's that's of use the other ones i probably think five people at most out of 250 posted on their instagram story or tag me on it on their instagram post the other 244 people waiting for me to die because that's going to be a great otherwise what are you doing with the photo on your phone maybe they said you know like the it's not like they know they're waiting for me to die, but I know the day that I die, they're going to go,

what month was it we went to go see her? Like putting it in their phone, like trying to find that picture. I've done it too. We've all done it. I've done it too. Yeah. It's because you're looking for identity. You're looking for connection.

You're looking for people. You're an adult child of an emotionally immature parent, which is a book I'm reading right now that literally any bestie should read. Because if you are attracted to the words that I'm saying ever, you probably had an emotionally immature parent. It doesn't mean they were a bad parent.

It just means they had kids and they don't know how to like connect with them emotionally. And it's such a good book that I think a bestie recommended me and I'm flying through it and I love it. And it's, I'm reading way more than one third of it. And it really, yeah. Oh yeah. I'm like, I'm halfway through.

It's, it speaks to me like almost no other book has. And that's not to say that my parents were immature except my dad would always go stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself and go it sounds like that's emotionally immature that's just a poopy face yeah oh yeah that's true yeah that's just immature emotionally immature what are the qualifications for it if you had an emotionally immature parent let me look at this up because they were kind of fascinating to me let me guess you want to guess yeah um because i think mine for sure one of my parents 100 they yeah everything is about them first like this happened the other day my dad came over to our condo matt and i are staying in a condo right

above my parents like two floors above them. My dad tested positive for COVID. He's on like day eight, okay? And he comes over and I'm like cheersing him. I go, God damn, I cannot believe seven days ago you fucking had COVID and were sick. And look at you now. You're amazing. You look so great.

And I go, just for kicks, let me test you now. Because it occurred to me he tested himself and he's like i'm negative and he took the paxlovid which everybody knows you get rebounds off that it's very likely i had one myself nobody knows that oh really you've done so much research on covid that no one's caring about one of the three people here yeah so i test him he's everyone knows you but what do you you bounce back what are you talking No one's caring about COVID anymore. No offense. One of the three people here knows that. Yeah. So I test him. He's positive. So everyone knows COVID. But what do you, you bounce back? What are you talking about?

Remember, I took Paxlovid and I got sick again. I got well and then I got sick. Oh, so you feel great for a second and then you bounce back to feeling like shit again. Yes. And if you feel like shit, that means that if you test positive, though, it doesn't necessarily mean you're contagious. Correct? Correct. Correct. Although people can give it.

COVID comes back a lot of times when you take this Paxil. Okay. Anyway, so mine came back. So what's the point of taking it? Some people get well. Most people get well. Okay, okay. Gotcha.

Also, if you're old, it's's gonna keep you from hospitalization and death so i give my dad a test he tests positive and he goes fuck and i'm like all right and he goes i do have kind of like sniffles that i noticed this morning and i you know i feel worse today than yesterday we're sitting there at the table and with matt and then i go yeah and he starts sneezing and then matt like looks at both of us like are you guys crazy he goes put your mask on you should put your mask on now my dad's like god damn it I'm so pissed this ruins my day I go is any part of you at all right now worrying about like maybe getting other people sick and he's like oh yeah but it that's his first instinct is

my day is ruined my My week is ruined. Well, that's what was wrong with COVID was everyone cared about themselves and didn't care about other. That was remember the height of it where no one was wearing a mask. It wasn't. And I even said in my stand up, I didn't wear a mask because I cared about getting COVID. Give it to me. It's like herpes. I just want to get it out of the way.

I'm going to get it eventually. I don't care. Give it to me. I'm not scared of it because I'm gross and i'm not scared of sickness i don't really get sick you wear a mask for other people and that was the problem with our country not being able to get on board with masks is because we don't care about each other if you're poor if you're different if you're from a different part of town, we just don't care as much about each other It's really that's it's just selfishness

But we're gonna go through the checklist because I found it in my phone and this book Right after this and and you will be able to assess if your parents are emotionally immature And if maybe you should read this book for some a little guidance and a little bit Of letting yourself off the hook for some of your behaviors and attractions to people that you have because you were raised with emotionally immature parents which is not an indictment on them they were also raised by emotionally immature people because it's something you pass down let's break the cycle after this but we'll be right back catch john stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on

today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iheart radio appio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. We're back. So do you have emotionally immature parents?

Here's the checklist. Read through the following statements and check any that describe your parent. My parent often overreacted to relatively minor things. Let's all just do this right now, okay? Just to keep tally. Pick either one or both parents, okay? So it's a yes if it's even one of your parents.

My parent often overreacted to relatively minor things. Yes. My parent didn't express much empathy or emotional awareness. When it comes to emotional closeness and feelings, my parents seem uncomfortable and didn't go there absolutely yes my parents often my parent or parents were often irritated by individual differences or different points of view hell yes when i when i was growing up my parent used me as a confidant but wasn't a confidant for me my parent often said and did things without thinking about other people's feelings yes i didn't get much attention or sympathy from my parent except maybe when i was really sick

yes my parent was inconsistent sometimes wise sometimes unreasonable if i became upset my parent either said something superficial and unhelpful or got angry and sarcastic again if i became upset my parent either said something superficial and unhelpful or angry and sarcastic okay or got angry um conversations mostly centered on my parents interests even polite disagreement could could make my parent very defensive. Polite disagreement, very defensive. If it was deflating to tell my parent about successes because it didn't seem to matter. Yes.

That one doesn't, I don't relate to it at all. You relate to that one? It's not that it didn't matter. Like your parents getting jealous of your successes? My parents would get jealous of my success. No way. He would immediately, he would be so happy for me, but the next thing out of his mouth would be,

you know, I've never had that kind of an audience. Oh my goodness. He'd be like, that's incredible. I've never, it would always be about him, the next thing. Facts and logic were no, yours would be judgmental? Right, like you would never, there would never be any praise. It would just be like, oh, well, you know, that didn't happen or they would just point out like if you

got it if you got something good happen to you they would point out like there was a well it's not that big of a deal because it was just like they would minimize it yes facts and logic that's one i did not ever have to my knowledge maybe subconsciously something was going on but my parents were i know your parents that's love to talk about you and recognize every little thing you wrote me a text this weekend actually of like your dad is so proud of you he gets tears in his eyes you said something he does he gets he beams he literally beams like yes yesterday i i met him briefly will not say why and it was a cloudy day. What? Oh, okay.

I know why. I know why you're saying that, but it sounds so fucking suspicious. He was helping her do that stance. We'll tell people why later. We'll tell people why like in a week or two. Okay. You were handing him a file in a parking lot.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It was not a drug exchange and it was cloudy. And, you know know it was just like a quick thing and then he like brings brings up your name and he literally like the sun came out he was just beaming oh that's so nice he talks about you he loves you so much yo he does he really does but it often is like i wish my mom could see you. And I take that as like, he just wants to show me off.

Like, look what I did. You know what I mean? Like, that means a lot to me. And I know he would go like, I just want my mom to see you because I think she'd be proud. But there's a part of me that's like, and I get it. If I had kids and they accomplished amazing things, I would desperately want my dad to see it, to be like,

dad, look what I made that did this thing. You know, there's a little bit. Because you want the praise i would i want the praise of like look at this amazing child you made and that's also why i think when people go that's a little bit of my worry about adopting is that my parents if the kid is amazing they'll be like well wherever you got the fucking kid good that's what my parents would say yeah like it had nothing to do with you right but if it's your blood like anytime there's anything wrong with like anything off going on with nieces and nephews it's like well maybe that's matt's side of the family had some you know maybe they it's like it's always not you it's never their blood like like we can even help our genes to begin with. Like, whatever DNA.

I mean, that's not a conversation that really comes up ever. But whenever there's like a behavioral problem, it's like, you guys weren't like that. And, you know, maybe it's just something that, you know, the other side of the family. Like, I could just tell if I had adopted kids, there would be a lot of, well, she shouldn't have adopted. That kid's kind of going crazy at this ben again yes um conversely matt's mom does this thing all the time where she's like well your talent is because of jesus and he's like my talent is not anything to do with things oh god yes your parents lessons that's so yeah she's always like well you gotta to thank Jesus for all that. He's like, do I? Could you tell me once?

She's not wrong because you can't really attribute. Nothing you do is you. You guys know I don't believe in free will. You don't choose your thoughts. You don't choose your motivations. If you're someone who practiced guitar a lot and became a virtuoso, you didn't choose the brain that you were born with to be good at guitar. I know it feels like you're like, but I chose every day to play music. You didn't.

You just got born with a brain that is good at practicing and is good at motivation. But she wants to take away any kind of talent. It's not yours. So do I, but I want to give it to science. She wants to give it to a guy on a cross. I'm sure he'd rather give it to science.

Yeah. It was deflating to tell me, okay, so facts and logic were no match for my parents opinions my parents my parent wasn't self-reflective and rarely looked at his or her role in a problem my parents tended to be black and white be a black and white thinker and unreceptive to new ideas okay so if you listen to this checklist listener And even one of those statements you said yes to you could potentially be a child of a Emotionally immature parent because even one of those is enough to damage a kid in a way that will lead to

Lots of behavioral problems later on in your life that will fuck up your life forever until you learn to like go against that And it's not because your parents are bad. I have the best parents in the world. But they were 25 when they had me. And they had parents that never listened to them, weren't around, alcoholics. There's no way they were equipped to handle a little sensitive child's emotions all the time. And if I had a child, I would also probably be emotionally immature for that child as well because we're all flawed so this isn't a book that you buy and then you like hate your mom it like you don't even have to tell your mom about it even though your mom might listen to

your podcast and hear you go off this checklist and say i was very hurt by that checklist when when have i been defensive about anything i always support you no i got a total of five which i thought it would be more like 20 but i got five yeah i got like yeah i got enough where i said okay then you read the book and you just read the the patterns of like people are people pleasers they put their own feelings aside for someone else i mean it's all it's all a codependency it's all kind of adult also this could all fit for adult children of alcoholics but i think this is a more helpful thing because i think a lot of kids here oh i'm not going to read about being an adult child of an alcoholic because my parent didn't drink or my parent was never drunk around me they can't associate their parent or their parent hasn't qualified as an alcohol to alcoholic to them and so they don't know this is like something to wrap your head around so you can know it's not your fault whatever it is that you

are and do which i think is most of therapy is learning it's not your fault and then when you're able to think of things as not your fault i think you're able to get over them more like anya you were suffering this weekend with like a thing and you're like to think of things as not your fault, I think you're able to get over them more. Like, Anya, you were suffering this weekend with, like, a thing. And you're like, as long as you, like, let yourself off the hook for it. Because you were, without getting into specifics, you were saying, like, I realize I'm just fucking crazy sometimes. And, like, I can't control my thoughts around this thing. How did you, did you feel like that was acceptance or that was judgmental of like you're crazy in the moment it felt heartbreaking like god i work so hard on myself and i'm just as crazy as

you know i'm around my family right now so i get caught up in the toxic cycles of like an old dynamic i'm sure a lot of people can relate. So I felt heartbroken. And then I was like, it's okay because I do have so many tools. And when I take one step back from these people, a loving step back, I am not crazy anymore. Like I am, I am temporarily insane. And someone said something to me so great. I've already told you this nikki but noah maybe i haven't told you uh i've been holding on to this uh adage boundaries are the distance between me and you where i can love myself and still love you so i have these like loving boundaries people don't seem to like them but i have them so that i can be nice to you and myself and so i can still love you yeah i have a thing i can still love you. Yeah.

I have a thing. I don't love people staying over at my house for more than four days, four days max. Yes. And that is a boundary. Oh my God. Well, Chris and I do this thing where like,

I only want to see him if he's in a good mood that I can nurture, you know, like if he's in a bad mood and needs to talk about things, I'll babe, I'm there for you. But if you're tired, hungry, let's go. I mean, if you're what's it called? Dirt or something. Halt.

Halt. It's the acronym halt. A dick. Irritable. Yeah, dick. Restless. Yeah. Halt.

Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. That's usually what people are like. Dicks. Yeah. tired that's usually what people are like yeah um but there's a there's a lot of times where i'm just like i i can hear that he's not in the best mood and i know the kind of mood he's in where he wants to talk about it and like he has to work through something and i know the type of mood where he's just doesn't want things aren't gonna go well between us and i also have those moods too where i'm like i don't want to hurt your feelings but don't come over tonight because it's not this isn't going to move our needle forward in our relationship this is only going to take away

but there's the illusion of like being together that gives people if you're not with the person they think you're you don't love them but it's like i love you that's why i'm not hanging out with you tonight is because i want to maintain how i like you because i am not i am walking on a tightrope of my own emotions i'm gonna fall off it and i'm going to hurt you i'm gonna hurt you like i need to protect you from me yes i'm a toxic train in ohio or wherever that was that oh yeah they're like burning stay away fuels there yeah it's terrifying um yeah it's it's it's i as someone who is definitely a crazy person and can have my moods impact everything around me like like an infection i have to quarantine myself from people yes i should put on masks when i'm in a sour mood and it sucks sometimes because you

gotta record a podcast or you gotta fucking podcasts are the hardest thing for me because there's no allude there's no i don't put on a face for a podcast if i did it would show up that i was putting on a face a podcast is some if i was you know in a bad mood today and i had to do this podcast you would sense it there would be like a fucking you know you've it was last yesterday's podcast i was sad and i but if i was shooting a commercial i could have snapped out of it because everything's a facade and it's like welcome to holiday and express or whatever the fuck i'm promoting i can put that i can put a cape over my feelings but if i'm in a situation like a podcast where it's like i'm myself and there's no i don't even know what an edifice would be here if i were to put one on believe me i've

put some on before on rough episodes that we've had to just because of relationship things going on but if it's just us three i'm not gonna be able to put that i don't even know what that would be to like be fake around you guys and be like everything's great this smart like it just doesn't so that's where i get into rocky territory is when i'm forced to do things where i get to be myself and i and i just, and it's almost like, there are days I would choose not to do a podcast because I'm in a bad mood, but you have to go to work. Or you would choose not to go to your SSDJ, your soul sucking day job, because you're in a bad mood. You should be able to call in sick mentally to things. I don't think we're ever close to that happening, but I really resent that everyone gets to be like,

oh, I have a cold today. And I can't be like, I want to jump off my balcony today. So I don't think I can make it to my dentist appointment. Like, I want to be able to say that. Which I did say to my- At this point, your dentist wouldn't be shocked. My dentist would know. He'd be like, with that amount of work

that you need to have done. Nikki, shut up. No, I'm getting bonding on with that amount of work that you need to have done. Nikki, shut up. No, I'm getting bonding on, I'm bonding with my dentist. It's in my calendar as dentist bonding. Because I wrote it in tomorrow. I'm so excited. You're going to meet over a campfire? Yeah, we're going to hold hands and talk about our emotionally unavailable parents.

Yeah, we're going to do trust falls out in the woods. So I'm bonding with my dentist tomorrow um who's scott bacula's nephew no just name drop no no big deal dr bacula shout out yeah he really is um but yeah it's just though i wish that you could um i did i mean i've called in i've called in depressed to things but before and then but I always do it when I know the person is going to be very understanding and like kind of gets it and it also talk about bonding if you tell someone that you're depressed and you like open up to them about that like I can't make it today like I'm depressed man is that like just a it I did it for my vocal coach the other day like i was like i'm too depressed to meet i'm sorry i'm not gonna lie and say anything else like i just i'm having horrible thoughts today and the next session we were like all we did was talk about that kind of stuff and like bonded so much because it was like instead of me being like i'm busy or i don't feel very good today it just cut through the shit and if we could be more open about being depressed or those thoughts,

I wouldn't feel like such a weirdo sometimes. Because it seems like I have a chronic disease that's just like, go for a walk around the block. And that's how you solve it, Nikki. And it's just like, well, this, if I could do that, I would. I can't walk around. You know what I mean i i just don't think other people cancer doesn't get this kind of like you know just try harder make your

bed every morning like tell a cancer patient that like that's the kind of thing i'm feel like i'm up against some days is like an actual physical illness but it does you know and everyone knows this about mental illness is that it doesn't get the same respect actual physical illness. But it does, you know, and everyone knows this about mental illness, is that it doesn't get the same respect that physical illness does, because it seems like a choice. But I'm just like, the more and more I suffer with it,

and it is stuff that there's also, obviously, stuff I can do. Like sometimes people get lung cancer and you go, why are you still smoking? And it's like, okay, yeah, put down the cigarettes. There's things I can definitely do and try to do. But I do wish that we can get to a point as a society where you could call in sick or you can also just make say that you were molested and then people go oh okay sorry didn't

know that and you could be like yeah that's why i was late or whatever i just it's a new joke i'm working on my act but i think you should casually be able to say you were molested and have people if you forgive you yeah well yeah if you were if you were molested i think it should be as easy to admit as saying i had my hair like or as shameful i guess as being like i had botox or so i don't know or like i i my car hydroplaned and like, sometimes you feel at fault for like, like the amount of shame you have for getting in a car accident. Cause that's, some people do have shame about car accidents. That's what I mean.

Like a little bit, maybe, which I think you should have zero, but we'll never expect that out of anyone. Cause we're a country of shame, but being molested should seem like you just got hit by a car or something. Like it's a car accident and you had the right of way to walk and you didn't know,

but instead, because if someone was like i'm sorry i i'm if they kept being late for meetings or zoom meetings or something they were like i'm sorry i was molested as a kid i'm really fucked i'd be like oh okay yeah well i'm glad you even can function or like if they were like my dad beat me severely like i think people should be able to like kind of give their mental illness history or like their child abuse history without it being so heavy. I wish, but it will never get there.

Since you started talking more about Botox and filler, I've seen way more people start doing that too. I'm not saying you started it, but you were so open about it like five years ago or maybe even longer, but nobody, it was not cool to talk about that openly. I feel like it's still something that people hide. Yeah. People still, yeah, keep it very secret. But that's a really good comparison, those two things. Like people have less shame than they did five, 10 years ago about admitting they

had botox well i think this and i always compare botox to getting your hair dyed like it used to be shameful to get your hair highlighted like women used to like hide like go secretly at night like they were they wouldn't talk about it it was considered rude to say did you get highlights yes exactly and that we don't even know that that is that your natural although you know that's a resties might remember what uh in the book the game that's a neg like that's because i was written in like 1977 that book but it wouldn't be a neg now because you'd be like of course it's not natural you take out your hair and be like no it's from a woman in india i didn't this isn't mine um yeah that i wanted to be i like yeah i would like things to be a little bit more

just transparent i guess just honest and transparent um than they are uh but it's just you know not that way i was yesterday i was at a very um high pressure event all day long i was at a cynthia rowley fashion show because it's fashion Week in New York, which is my least favorite week. I forgot that it was that. Do you guys remember Fashion Week when you lived in New York? Yes. Yes, when you and I lived together,

our street was a major hub for it because there are tons of galleries and they would have shows on 22nd. It's just like an alien ship lands in Manhattan and lets off a bunch of seven foot tall people. Cats. Cats. Seven foot tall, lengthy, vertical cats. With big lips.

And they walk around. Yes. And they truly look. I mean, I saw a model yesterday at this thing and she was probably six foot two very thin and i was like wow and she was i saw her taking pictures she was stunning had a gorgeous body gorgeous face but then i was like oh she's the awkward tall girl in high school these models are not like hot in high school she was like on the volleyball team maybe was probably a really good social studies student like this girl i just saw her for like she's this

super model like i don't know about super but you know she's special she's special model and um she uh she was in the super bowl of models She was like the orange bowl of models or whatever. Doritos bowl. And she, but I just saw she's like a high school dork, which most models are like kind of dorks, you know? But I was at this event and it was a bunch of comedians. Eggo from SNL, who's hilarious. Rosebud Baker

Rachel Feinstein Claudia Oshiri I want to say she's girl with no job on Instagram and then Esther Koo

Michelle Buteau Arden Mirren and we were all doing this the show where we got like we went i went to a fitting yesterday we have two looks one for our stand-up set which was five minutes long which by the way if you do stand-up like no one knows how to do a five minute set we were all like what is that even like you would just go out and say hi my name is nikki and i'm an alcoholic like what do you even

say for a five minute set it's like unheard i haven't done five minutes since i did the tonight show i'm like i was making jokes with Rachel. I'm like, you have to submit your set to Michael Cox by 4 p.m. Like for standards and practices. Because it was like, that's who, you know, gets you on The Tonight Show. But it was just like, it was a short amount of time. But it wasn't about comedy. It was more, but Cynthia Rowley kept being like, no, it's about the comedy.

It's not about the fashion. We're like, no, we are all wearing outfits we would never fucking wear outside of this we looked amazing the fashion i love cynthia rowley thank god i got asked to do a fashion show earlier this year that was happening in paris that a lot of comedians did you can look it up but i'm not going to say who it was i turned it down because i thought the designs were so hideous. Like I couldn't find one thing in this collection and you will know it when you see it. When you go see,

find the comedians that did this fashion show. I don't know how this person, I'm sorry. Art is subjective, but not this art. It is objectively bad. I don't know how anyone would ever wear any of this shit. It's so anyway

and it was all like the coolest guys in comedy too which made me laugh that they have to wear these ridiculous outfits even though they're like bad boys of comedy and i can't wait to see a couple of them to mock them for it because they must have felt so uncomfortable doing this fashion show but i gotta i turned that down because i was like i don't want to wear any of these clothes cynthia raleigh my god is like one of my favorite designers anyway she's like someone whose dresses i wear all the time and um so i was so excited got to meet her i also saw her daughter on the bachelor yeah her daughter kit was on one of the back so i liked i liked her daughter so i knew her mom would be cool. She was so fucking cool, so normal, so nice.

Someone I'm like literally, truly could be friends with. And I don't say that about everyone. If she was just like an Anna Wintour type, I'd be like, she was amazing. She's such an artist. I would just say that cursory thing. This woman was actually the real deal. So cool. And went to a fitting yesterday,

which was super easy. And I thought it was going to be like very uncomfortable, but it was in like her studio with like all of her, like people that are working there. And then they have like a little shop up front with some stuff. And I got to wear this like red number and then this other white dress with these boots. That's just fantastic.

And multiple outfits. Yeah. Cause we had like a curtain call look at the end and then so but backstage we had to get there at here's how quickly i do my hair and makeup if i'm going on stage i can be full hair and makeup total glam from the time i get out of the shower to walking on stage 40 minutes to blow dry everything i'm fast when i get my hair and makeup done with my team an hour and a half because even that's fast for me for most people because they are usually like they need two and a half hours we were there at our call time was 3 30 we didn't

go on until 8 and i was like i don't need to get there 15 hours early or this but but i wasn't in charge of the day we're there for cynthia like it was kind of like there no one and no one should put their foot down because we were all equals that day like no one's i'm not gonna be a diva and show up at six when everyone else has been there since four but we're all getting ready in the same room we're all just like there's different stations and it's just like you go here here, you go there. And I realized in this process that on the fashion side of things, amazing, treated like a princess. I love Cynthia Raleigh. I love the people that she works with. It was so fun. Makeup and hair side of things, a little bit commoditized, like if that's a word you i realized with a i have a friend who's a model saralina and i always when she talks about her day's modeling she does and i've heard this

before from other people too is that models are just treated like objects like they're just objectified like they're talked about in front of each other like people will just be like this needs to come in oh my god her waist is spilling over that this is not gonna fit oh she looks tired like they'll they'll talk about you like you're a car that they're working on and you forget that you're there whereas as a comedian in a makeup chair i sit down i go i okay so i really like a dark eyebrow with like a sharp edge on the um on I don't want them to look like little round sperms. I like eyeliner in the waterline. I like full lashes but not too full, like false eyelashes.

I like mascara on the bottom. I do not like any kind of eyeliner on the bottom. I like a thin line on the top. I like a wing. I like really like pinky blush. I like a slight contour on chin and then cheek. I like know exactly what i want because i've been doing this forever and i swear to god the guy goes wow okay

you know what you want puts his hands up like that like offended because when you're a model you just sit in a chair and you don't get any fucking makeup done there's no mirror in front of you so you can be like um can you actually just you get your makeup done and then you don't get to look at it and go i like it or not you just move to the next station and by the end of the night rachel had overheard someone commenting about some outfit she'll have to tell it next time she's on the podcast i think it's gonna go in her act because she heard someone saying like we need to find a we uh we need to find another dress for esther and they go no esther looks great rachel's the probably something it was like rachel heard with an earshot like we need to fix it like which is rachel's biggest like fear in life is like she's

like a problem and like and it was not the case at all rachel looked amazing but like we kept all each of us overhearing little things where we weren't where we were like and then the second you start feeling like a model like the second you're like have all your glam and you have your fucking awesome outfit that's so tight and looks so good and your shoes and you look tall and you look leggy then in walks this model we don't even know why they brought in a model we i don't even know what she did she was just there to make us realize no you are not no if you were starting to think that you are a model look over there at that woman who is a foot taller than you 40 pounds lighter than you wearing that thing like she was born in it with the cheekbone the cheek structure of i don't know gollum like this is you are you're nowhere close to her and they you know i just kept making jokes

to examine these clowns it was weird we don't even know why she was there i introduced myself to her i was like taking pictures of her because she was so pretty she was like doing a shoot and i was behind the photographer being like is this weird weird that I'm taking, like you're captivating and I want to like learn poses. I was making jokes like at one point we were backstage and there was like a bowl of mints

and someone was, and the mints were all eaten and someone was like, wow, someone liked those mints and I was like, model dinner. And I was just like,

I was just like making jokes like that. They did give us some really good food. They treated us awesome. I mean, it was just a really long day and I'm not going to lie. It sets women up to be competitive They did give us some really good food. They treated us awesome. I mean, it was just a really long day. And I'm not going to lie.

It sets women up to be competitive when you have seven women on a show, all comedians from different genres of comedy. We're talking sketch. We're talking stand-up. We're talking TikTok. And then you all have to do five minutes. And everyone who left that show was like, I like this person best. I like this person. You can't go to a that show was like, I like this person best. I like this person.

You can't go to a comedy show without ranking everyone who you liked best. And I'm not talking about my comedy shows because I have maybe two or three comics at most on them. And you're going to like me the best you should because I do the most amount of time. And if you like someone more than me, it's because they did a shorter amount of time

and they got to do their best jokes. Whereas I had to do a bunch of jokes. I had to do an hour. So this whole idea of like, I the opener better eight minutes he did eight minutes you might maybe you should but also maybe you just do and not he she anyone it's just like that's a common thing in comedy where you'll be the headliner and that you'll see the opener someone go you were the best and you go oh really because i did an hour and 14 minutes and he did eight so maybe don't say that in front of me with an earshot because you know i can hear it but you get to play like i oh i was just saying i just really resonated with uh but um but that's not he or she i'm not talking about andrew specifically or anyone that it's happened with Andrew. It used to happen to me as an opener. People would say it in front

of two, you know, in front of headliners to me and go like, you were actually, and I'm like, I did 20 minutes and they did an hour 20. Of course, you're going to like me more. I leave, I left you wanting more. Um, but it was just like a competitive day because we all i went out on stage and i was like are we're models you guys we're models like are you loving this comedy show from a bunch of models i go we're not models we all are very deeply uncomfortable with this setting the reason we got into this is because we're not good at this and the whole audience was influencers i mean it was all fashion but they were a great audience. It was really a great show. It was so fun.

I talked about like a girl falling in a fire and how I like loved that a girl got. Oh, I love that. Like I did, there was a little bit of heckling going on and people kept going like, because I was like, am I hot, you guys? Like I need to feel hot. I need to be hot.

And people kept going like, you're hot. You're so, and I go, because I'm rich. And it was so fun to just scream at them and go like it's rich or dna that's all it is if you're ever jealous of someone it's because they're rich and they can afford something you can't or their mom was hot or their dad had good legs that's it and it was just so freeing to like scream at all these trendy people to be like stop and scream at myself i mean people to be like stop and scream at myself i mean it's honestly like i'm telling myself like when i get jealous of people i

always have to remember it's because their dad or mom had good genes or they had the money to do the certain treatment and that's where i start beating myself up is like i'm not doing the right treatments that's where i start going oh i need to do this and that. I want to talk about Rihanna's Super Bowl when we come back. And I also want to talk about something with Olivia Wilde that came up after the Super Bowl and get your guys' thoughts on that. So we'll talk about that when we get back. action on The Daily Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup

of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts all right we're back um how did you guys feel about Rihanna's Super Bowl halftime show I mean we're a little late to it but I do want to give my take I loved it I love her that's all I have to say she could do no wrong in my book she can do wrong in mine because i've read about her fenty line and how it coerced people into like signing up for like way more money than like a membership and then they like their bank accounts were drained by this thing and like all her clothes are made in sweatshops and she's a

billionaire so she's definitely done some things that are shady and you know she's bullied people online that i didn't care for that kind of stuff but man can that girl sing and man if that performance if you think it was boring you're boring you you are someone who needs too much stimulation you're boring look at yourself if you thought that if you thought that performance was boring, it's because you are boring. You probably, and I get it.

Like there are times where I am a boring person too that I'm like, I want more like pizzazz. We needed nothing more from her. Those stages moving were great enough. The dance sequences, even though people were joking

about how she wasn't moving a lot, she fucking ended up moving a lot. Maybe she started out slow, but there, and she's also pregnant and she has to sing yes she wasn't singing you guys in some parts she was i like yes there were tracks agreed but they there was tracks but also she was singing over track but she um that which is fine i don't even fault that when people are like she was lip syncing or whatever it's like but at least she sang that live at some point recently into a microphone and it sounded like live to me it didn't sound like too souped up or like too many effects on it it sounded live so whether she did it there or another time I don't care it was recent enough this girl has not

performed live to my knowledge in like four years can you imagine the first time you perform live and you never test out any of the i mean she's she's done so many concerts in the past but years of being dormant is the super bowl halftime show which is the biggest stage the biggest show that you could do i thought it was her voice her voice commanded enough and you know what also commanded enough her fucking energy the confidence that woman had i've said it before about dave chappelle when i was watching him one time on stage i said that man's more comfortable on stage than i am in bed and that's the way i felt about rihanna she was so comfortable there was no part of me that was worried about her when i watched katie perry's

super bowl i was worried when i watched lady gaga even gaga she's a very competent performer that makes me feel secure i was even like when i watched j-lo i was literally like having a panic attack of like can she do like even though she she's a another performer that never fails. But Rihanna, my blood pressure went down. It was just like, the way she was sauntering around the stage. Even the moment with her Fenty beauty product where she's touching up her own makeup.

Which is a brilliant marketing. I know that it was maybe presented to make it look like oh, the camera switched to her too quickly and they caught her touching up her makeup. They weren't supposed to. That was for the dumbest person watching. That was who that was meant for.

The dumbest person watching goes, they showed her touching up her makeup. They weren't supposed to. That's literally, anyone who thought that should be, I don't want to say what I think they should, but like shouldn't procreate anymore like anyone who was goofed into thinking like oh they cut the camera too close first of all if they did she would be having makeup artists do her makeup she would not be touching it up herself so that's how

I know that was a that was put in there but it was also a wink to like I know what I'm doing I'm a marketing genius I'm putting in a moment where I touch up my own makeup on TV in the middle of my performance. What does that say to girls watching at home? Touch up your makeup whenever you want that shameful thing of going to the bathroom to do your powder. Do it in front of the guy at the table. I just did it at the fucking Super Bowl during my performance. Never feel ashamed for doing your makeup and having makeup nearby you and having my makeup nearby you it was genius it was genius and then then at the end when she walks in and she's just like at the when she

knows that she's in like the she's fucking it's in the final stretch of the show and she walks and she's like you know high-fiving or like whatever she's doing with like the the musicians and kind of just like sauntering around the stage confidently like her just like having a moment with her musicians it was i was awestruck and i was watching on my little phone i watched it after the fact because i was flying when it happened i thought it was awesome i loved that there wasn't too much bombastic bullshit. I don't need to see fireworks. I don't need to see people dangling from things.

I don't need to see 50 Cent hanging from a wall. I thought the Dr. Dre Snoop halftime show was bad. Really? Sorry. Thought it was bad. I love them. I'm not like a huge, huge fan. I thought that set was stupid i didn't like all the it looked like a little barbie dollhouse i just thought it was dumb i thought the performances

were good but i thought the set design was was dumb and what do i know about set design literally nothing so if you're watching this and you design that set and you're like what the fuck literally i'm an idiot so i don't know anything and i'm the only one who didn't like that performance and i can only feel confident saying i didn't like it now that i loved rihanna's because now i know what i like and i did not like that and i remember after that happened everyone was like that was the most amazing thing ever and i was like i was bored and it felt weird and it felt like i was just looking at these little like a little play happening inside a dollhouse i didn't like it i love the music so much that it took me back and

made me feel nostalgic and i think they were creating sets to make you feel like you're in compton okay so it worked but maybe the super bowl huge fail for me epic i did not feel like i was there but i've never been there. How about the ASL performer, the girl doing sign language? That was amazing. Oh, that was so cool. Yeah, they should have cut between her,

back and forth from her and Rihanna. Like that was such a good, that was like this whole other life that it was given. Okay, so I want to talk about this thing though that Olivia Wilde posted. Now Olivia Wilde, you know, was dating harry styles is not anymore they broke up final thought harry styles to set the stage for this he did not he's

never really acknowledged that she's his girlfriend ever impressed even when they were dating okay oh um oh i got a valentine's day thing from chris i was gonna just tie it's not huge but it's a frog emoji and that's like our way of saying i love you is a frog emoji it's a long story but i did get a frog emoji happy valentine's day to you too baby um so uh he's never acknowledged it made me think of that i was like oh has my boyfriend acknowledged me today so he never acknowledged her in an interview during he did make let's see if he made the deadline though because when did this come in yes he did by half an hour 12 p.m pacific he did not make oh he did no he did he sent it at 150 he was 10 minutes okay he made it with 10 minutes to go so i still

have a boyfriend everyone he's really there was any consequences of that yeah he sent a frog emoji and you know what and you know what i love about it is he didn't know i was trying to make the frog emoji our way of saying i love you you know some people have like a thing like you know in that stupid fucking movie where lady gaga like strokes down her dumb fucking nose and like that's their way of being like i love you baby star is born i hate that so much but i wanted like a thing like that the other day i sent him this frog picture that like it said on the frog it said like look at the left corner bottom left corner and then you look down there and a little thing that says look at the right top corner and then you go up there and you and it

goes now no don't look up here look at the frog's tongue and like very small in the frog's tongue it says i love you so it has you like jumping all over this photo and then it says i love you but you can't see any of that unless you look closely and so then i sent that to him one day and he was like i really liked that and i was like and it's kind of stupid so i was like oh that's cute that he liked it because it's kind of like i don't know it was just like uh dorky and corny. But then the other day, I sent it again and then sent the frog emoji after it to be like, this is what means when I love you. So now he's connected it. And I

succeeded. I got a little emoji sign with my boyfriend. You know, it's the small things in life. It really is. So Olivia Wilde posted about the Rihanna's performance. A$AP Rocky, who is uh rihanna's i don't know husband but definitely baby daddy boyfriend um she he was like cheering her on and i guess he she posted a video or all i saw was the still of it but it was on her story and she said um oh my god what is the

direct quote noah uh okay so she she tagged rocky and rihanna and she goes if i thought he was hot before this really put me over the edge okay so he was filming rihanna right and people are savagely attacking olivia wilde for writing this because she said if i thought i love i thought he was hot before she's calling someone else's man hot she tagged him and her in it what do you guys think about this we're going to talk about her what she said afterwards which i think i know what she was doing i don't think i think she was trying to make a point to harry styles like a man that supports his woman is hot yeah i did not have that which is sweet it's exactly what she was doing Because her post afterwards

Because people were like How dare this bitch Call Rihanna's boyfriend hot Baby daddy hot You don't say another woman's man is hot Which I would not be bothered by that at all Olivia you can say Chris is hot Anytime you want

You do it all the time What do you mean? I mean people do it all the time I guess if you're a celebrity You're not allowed to No celebrity does not publicly say someone's hot if they like the other day i did an interview and i said someone was hot that has a wife and i was like you know on my vision board we might end up together and i was like you know

because they could get divorced you never know what happens and i'm like literally quaking now in fear that that's gonna like air and people are going to destroy me for it because it's like he's married and it's like have you ever heard of divorce before like i'm sorry like and also i have a boyfriend i'm so it's all a joke i was just joking i don't really have a vision board of this guy i'm getting mad about something people aren't even mad at me about yet so let me just back up having arguments in your head okay so then olivia wilde wrote back to all these people being like how dare you everyone fucking hates olivia wilde okay everyone does i like her people hate her though because they're jealous she's beautiful there's a little nepotism i think that might be going on that people are

like that's what she's a former princess and she what She's a former princess? Yeah, she was married to a prince. Okay, that. And also, Harry Styles. Women are so jealous. And she's gorgeous and perfect. They're jealous. And talented. And she's a director.

And she likes to be behind the camera, in front of the camera. We all hate it. She's artistic. She's cool. She looks flawless and everything. We are jealous. Me is jealous, okay jealous okay so that's what they're attacking her but also would you be pissed if someone wrote about your man i used to think

matt pond was hot now he's so hot because of how much he is loving on you right now i would be i'd be like yes bitchy that is hot i get exactly what she meant noah if i'm tagged it's okay if i'm not tagged i don't know my good point okay no watch out noah's gonna take her earrings out well you know what if she didn't tag rihanna people would have said that exactly they would have been like why didn't you tag rihanna you're trying to make a pass at asap no she didn't tag she but then because she tagged rihanna i was looking at all the comments they were like how fucking corny she tagged rihanna like she wants her to see that she's coming for her man i'm like this bitch can't win so then olivia following the backlash wrote another thing on her story and i liked what she said because it is exactly it tells you exactly what you need to know

about why she posted it she's talking about harry man she did not get the support from harry that she wanted she wanted him to be proud of her not get the support from Harry that she wanted She wanted him to be proud of her She wanted him to brag about her She wanted him to post about her She wanted him to like hold up his phone She wanted him to do the same thing that she was doing At the Harry Styles concerts

Which was holding up her phone and dancing She was captured many times supporting him from the side stage Where was Harry during Don't Worry Darling press? We didn't see him that's what maybe led to their breakup who really knows but what did she say noah so she writes for anyone who got it twisted it's hot to respect your partner especially when your partner just did that like that like what rihanna just did it's not as overt as i thought, but I know women and I know what is going on here. This was not about A$AP Rocky.

This was not about, I don't know why I keep saying A$AP Rocky. This is not about Rihanna. I'm saying her name wrong. Rihanna and how she feels about her or like trying to get. It's how she feels about Harry. She's projecting. And aren't we all today? Frog emoji. Got to get it's how she feels about harry she's projecting and aren't we all today frog emoji gotta get out of here thank you guys for listening we will see you next week happy valentine's day belated um come see me this weekend where are we anya um we're not anywhere

this weekend oh i know where i'm this weekend i'm in Vegas So if you're a millionaire Come see me in Vegas At Steven Tyler's charity For Alzheimer's I will be there with Sammy Hager And John Mayer And loads of other people It's a huge event That I'm doing on Saturday night

So wish me luck on that I'll tell you about it On Tuesday's podcast And then the next weekend, we are where? We are in Bloomington, Newport, Kentucky, Lexington, Kentucky. Oh my gosh. Kentucky,

Indiana, get on it. Europe, that is coming up in May. Can't wait to see you guys out there. Please, besties, come to shows. I love meeting you. You can get free meet and greets if you go to the merch booth and just tell them that you're a bestie. They'll hook you up. And I can't wait to see you at a show. And thank you so much for listening. I hope you have a great day and I hope your parents aren't emotionally unavailable. Don't be good. Jackpot! He's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, ears edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines,

exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.