The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #325 Awe and Shock w/ Brian Frange

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Brian Frange joins the pod and shares a glimpse into his friendship with Nikki when Game of Thrones was all the rage. Nikki is still obsessed with Succession but wasn't that impressed by the dramatic moment that everyone talked about. Brian is methodical in the way he eats a cookie. Nikki and Anya have two very different takes on their approach to surviving a post apocalyptic world. Nikki believes that luck is what needs to be credited in Oscar speeches. In the Final Thought, they talk about the after life and what will happen with AI in the future. --- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian's Website: brianfrange.com More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast.

It's Monday when we're recording this. I think you're hearing it on a Tuesday. But lots to talk about. First up, let's just bring him in off the top. He was my co-host from another show host. It was like many years ago, five years ago, 2016. Yeah. Pre-Trump. He, oh my God, that's when we had a podcast.

It was a different world. It's like the new pre-9-11. He is the author and creator of AppleRankings.com, which is a hilarious site where you can read about apples. He's also a hilarious standup comedian. He has been a writer on a show like Adam Ruins Everything. What other shows have you done? Am I getting all your credits right?

Yeah, this is great. Your own Comedy Central animated series. What was that called? There was a show on Netflix called Adventure Beast. Yes. Oh, there was a Comedy Central Snapchat show called George Washington DTF, but we don't have to go through all my credits.

I mean, you can see my credits. Yeah, I mean, well, that's, it just gives you a little bit of notoriety. Not that my fans care. They just like, they just care that, well, they do care, but they care that you're just my friend and you're funny,

I think. And that's the truth for you. You're funny, nice, and my friend. And yeah, we've been friends for a while. I met him,

when did we meet? 2000. Oh my God. A long time ago. This must've been. Earlier, earlier. I think 2009 or 2010.

Cause we met in Indiana. I know. You met at the first club I ever headlined. Earlier, earlier. I think 2009 or 2010. Because we met in Indiana. I know. We met at the first club I ever headlined. You made the first poster for the first show I ever headlined at the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana. But he was a comic on the scene then. And he's my friend now. And he's here with us.

His name is Brian Frangie. Yes. Hello, hello. Welcome to the show. Hello. Thank you. And Anya's here Noah is here we got started off today when we all got on the thing and I asked Brian how he was

doing and he was like me I'm good it was just like a very like you thought about it and then you said I said okay good and you go I try to answer that sincerely and that's what I like about you. You have like a shimmer of autism, right?

Can we all agree? Not all agree, but me and all of you. Yeah, if I could go to a doctor, I'm sure they could diagnose me with something. But like, I feel like, you know, I feel like everybody could get diagnosed with something, but I don't know. Yeah, we could.

I'm not autistic. No, you're not. I'm sorry to say that. I mean, I think I have a shimmer of it too, but I like that you have, what'd you say, Anya? Right out of the gate. Mickey diagnoses you. I'm not, I'm just like, there's,

well, when someone's just like so honest, because he's he's very he has a lot of theories he has um he's just an interesting person he's a quirky person and I think sometimes quirky people you can maybe leap to a thing I don't know what is there's there's a neurodivergence there I I give it to myself too I am I, I'm, I'm complimenting myself because I see a lot of my, the same things I like about, the same things I feel sometimes weird about

being too honest or being like, too like, I know exactly what I want and the way I see things, I see in Brian and like just being and not being able to lie

about how are you or not like not being able to lie. Of course you can. Brian's great at reading, reading social cues. He's not like, not that there's anything Of course you can. Brian's great at reading social cues. He's not like, not that there's anything wrong if you can't, but yeah, you're just a,

you're a quirky person. You're a quirky guy, right? Wouldn't you say so? I would say so. You know, speaking of quirks, you have an admirable quality that I want to point out that's in the same vein.

Yeah, you want to hear an admirable quality? Yeah, by saying you had a shimmer of autism i want to say that that was me saying you you don't i don't i guess we haven't hung out enough that i'm obsessed with people with autism and i want to have it and uh so that was me being nice but it seemed like i was like bullying you right out the gate okay what is my admirable quality tell me now i want i took it as a compliment, honestly. I like the idea of being focused on things and, you know, interesting. But your annual quality is when you learn about a thing, a new thing, especially. Especially if it's a niche thing.

You have the ability to dive into every single thing that's been written on that and read everything about it within the next day. Yes, but do you have that too? I have a feeling you might have that too. Well, that's kind of how I feel about apples because I can rank apples. It's pretty crazy to go in. He's definitely on the spectrum. I forgot he has an Apple blog.

I can give an Apple ranking website where I give every Apple a score out of 100 based on a 9, ten point rubric. And, you know, that's just a little bit of like focus that needs to be allotted to that. Yes. Are you remembering anything that I got really into and learned about overnight that like is the basis for this? Does anything come to mind? Oh, well, I mean, there's tons of things um definitely

uh personality disorders yeah um which i just casually i you know i i don't read everything i we i read a third of things as my fans know i read like a third of books and then i go okay i get it like yeah usually Usually books repeat themselves a hundred times. I dive right in. Oh, yeah. I'll wake up and there will be 374 texts from Nikki because she's been up since four in the morning reading about sociopathy.

And she's taking a quiz and sent like 37 screenshots of her results of the quiz. Yes. And then she knows everything about sociopathy that's a disorder i mean that that's there's something wrong with me do you know what i'm into right now mean i read everything about succession that i could find yesterday i googled succession hbo that i went to news results boom went down the list read every you know think piece that i you know that caught my eye that I thought maybe there's something, new info to be gleaned from this. So I know-

Is it true that that show is about the Murdoch family? Like the family that owns Fox? But yes, yes. I mean, it doesn't completely line up perfectly, but they do have, I believe, two sons and a daughter and there's estrangement. I mean, I'm guessing, Brian, you love Succession as well.

I just, by knowing who you are. Well, I've only watched the first couple episodes so far. I'm late to the game. I'm late. You're just like me then, dude. I was, I only watched three episodes for so many years and I was like, you know, it's like, I can't like, I got into it, but I didn't.

Let yourself get into it, man. I just finished finished i went through three seasons which was 29 episodes an hour and five minutes each let's take off of five minutes because at the end they do like you know they talk about the episode or whatever and there's credits so 29 hours of my life that's a day and some change i i realized it contributed to my lack of sleep last week it um it's rare that i want to watch something over sleep i mean i i would say it almost never happens i really do value sleep when i'm tired i like to sleep but succession was more entertaining than my dreams last week and it uh i finished it i'm a

little disappointed can i just say that everyone that's seen three seasons there was something that happened in in season three because i remember it distinctly when i was just a person that did not i remember a moment no i remember in 2021 there was a moment when everyone was watching it where everyone lost their mind and was like last night's succession i don't remember if it was the season valley i don't remember if it was episodes i don't remember what episode remember if it was episodes. I don't remember what episode it was, but there was a cultural moment where everyone who was watching it lost their mind. And I remember being jealous.

It was like the Red Wedding episode of Game of Thrones. It was like these seminal moments on TV shows where everyone collectively that is watching it was like, that's the greatest thing. And they all collectively share this feeling of awe and shock. You know, those are usually listed the other way around, but I changed it up. Awe and shock.

And it didn't happen. I don't know where it was. I don't know what people were freaking out about. Let me just say, the season three finale didn't catch the big twist. So I watched it yesterday. I was flying back from Buffalo. I can't believe the big twist. So I watched it yesterday. I was flying back from Buffalo. I can't believe it was yesterday. It feels like so long ago,

but I didn't sleep on Saturday night. We did a show in Buffalo. Did not. I stayed up all night. I wasn't watching Succession. I was just like couldn't sleep because I had to get up at 3.30. And then the time changed

and it went from one o'clock to two o'clock so fast. Almost instantly, some would say and then and then so it was like 11 o'clock and then it was two o'clock and i was like what the fuck just happened and then i had to go to the airport at four and then get on my flight at five like it was it was crazy and then i didn't sleep but i watched succession like bleary eyed in the admirals club in charlotte and i did not catch the twist until i read a bunch of new yorker pieces about the twist and i was like oh and then i had to go back and see because so many things happen in succession where it's like someone will witness something and there's no dialogue so if you don't see that person see the thing i mean this happens in a lot of shows i had to like watch it you know not just like listen with my eye mask on and just let it talk me to sleep like a mom telling me a story um so i'm just a little disappointed though that the

twist was not as crazy as everyone seemed to be losing their minds about in 2021 i'm it's fine it was great it was not like lose your mind moment brian do you like those moments yeah there's no shock there yeah i'm aw and then i went to a yawn i was like oh and yawn that was not that great um but the show is fantastic i'm obsessed and i've read every single thing that i can get my hands on if if you bestie know any article that isn't the New Yorker one with Jesse, uh, the creator or with the, the Kendall one,

that's very famous or the new GQ one about Kendall. I've, I've read those, but if you know any others from back in the day, any interviews, I would love you if you send them to me because I am just like wanting to sop up everything I can about this show because I don't understand knowing so much about something that you could write a show like this I'm so jealous

I'm jealous that like if I wanted to write a show about corporate like behemoths I would not know anything about money about like IPOs about like and Chris my boyfriend whenever I lament about like because every time we watch

a show I just go how could I ever write something like this I don't know anything about like even cause every time we watch a show, I just go, how could I ever write something like this? I don't know anything about like, even last of us. I go, if the end of the world happened, how do they figure out like Fedra? Like these, like what,

what Fedra is, how'd they come up with that name? And then the fireflies and like, and he's like, it's a creative thing. And also you like hire people who are experts about this stuff. So like, say you wanted to like write about the army,

you would hire someone who knows a lot about the army and say, I want this thing to happen. And they would fill it in. And I'm like, Oh, like you get a task, grab it to do certain things. But I do think there are some writers who know everything and that just

know stuff. Brian thoughts. I think that the show is, is not real. And the stuff that they're showing is not necessarily how it actually is, and then that defines what we all think it actually is, and it seems so accurate that we now think that that's the way it is. if the end of the world happened, we have many different apocalypse shows and they have all different takes on what the army would do in that situation. And it's like, did all of them consult a military expert and come up with they're going to have a barbed wire fence?

You know, they all didn't do that. And... Okay. But like, how do you feel about Last of Us? Oh, man. Brian will write me, like I'll post on my instagram stories i'll think like the last of us and brian wrote to me once he was like last of us is the new

game of thrones and i was so happy to hear that because brian used to come over to my this is so weird you guys not so weird but brian and my boyfriend chris are friends they met through me but and brian worked on my show not safe he. We did a podcast together, but he was also worked in my digital department and he killed it. But he they would watch Game of Thrones when Game of Thrones was on. I guess this was like the penultimate season. Right?

Season five. At least season five and six, I think. The good seasons. I mean, the seasons one through three were good. Season five was good. Should I go through all the seasons? through three were good seasons seasons five season five was good should i go through all the seasons i mean was it seven seasons total oh i don't know anymore okay well all i know is the last season sucked and you guys were all upset but the seasons that we watched that you guys watched together brian would come over so would

tim chris's brother they would the ritual was they watched the episode from the week before. During that episode from the week before that they had already seen, they could talk. They could discuss what was going to happen in the next one. They could talk about fan theories, comment on anything they want. That was an interactive moment. Then the Game of Thrones would start and it would need to be dead silence and respect like in a fucking funeral throughout the entire new episode. There was no chiming in. I'm a very active watcher.

So I could not watch any of this because first of all, it was too violent. There's too many like, and I just didn't catch onto it. So I would go in my room and sleep during this time, but they would have these. And then I would come out the very end when I would like feel it wrapping up and there would be this like they would still not

talk they would not talk for like five minutes after the credits would end they would just all be like in stunned silence processing what they just watched whether it was good or bad and then they would have a discussion after that it was like this weird it was this ritual i respected it but um what is it about and and so i was really happy because i felt laughed left out of that i felt happy that you have now deemed i even told chris i was like brian says last of us is the new game of thrones i was so happy to like be in on this thing that was so sacred before um do you do you have the same ritual for last of us not yet but i do want to comment on the Game of Thrones experience.

There was also part of the ritual was I would get a complete, a Lenny and Larry's complete cookie, which is a protein cookie. Pretty sizable. I was going to ask if there was a vegan cookie. Yes. A vegan cookie. And I would nibble on it throughout the entire episode. Yeah, you would.

Oh, your nibbling made me so mad because I was into those two at the time and I would nibble on it throughout the entire episode. Oh, your nibbling made me so mad because I was into those two at the time and I would finish mine so fast and you were... I can't stand nibbling. Anya's a nibbler too and I just watch. I can't stand it because I can't nibble and so I watch you and I just go, how does someone take a bite of something, a tiny bite, and then put

it back down and then chew it and then maybe have a conversation in between the next bite or like maybe take a phone call. I get into an Uber with a Starbucks. I swear to God, every single time because I'll sometimes have my Uber stop at a Starbucks before we head to the airport. They always put down the they they're like, oh, please, please, please. And they like put down the the the rest in between so that I have a cup holder. And I go, I'm not setting this down.

There's no point in which I'm going to set this down. Who sets a delicious beverage down? I'm going to chug this extra hot venti thing within two and a half minutes. It's going to be done. And I'm going to be sucking out the foam and using my finger to scrape it. So you would nibble on your little cookie because you have um self i don't set it down i don't set it down i keep it up there and i just keep nibbling it's just the size of the nibbles yeah you need to be mouse like a little guinea pig uh-huh do you nibble

through the cookie or do you have like a ritual do you eat around like in circles are you kidding me brian is not doing anything willy-nilly. There is a ritual behind it. There's a plan in place. In general, I would nibble a circumference first. Rotate again like a dial. No way! I've never seen that. No way!

Well, because the outer edges are generally easier to nibble. And as you get deeper into the cookie, they become dense. And that's the better part. You're saving the epicenter for the end, like the best. Yes. Oh, but first I forgot. This is really going to make me sound weird. I forgot to mention that

first I open the package and then I smell it for like 10 minutes. No! No! like 10 minutes. No, no. For 10 minutes? 10 minutes? Well, okay. So what you have to understand is

I would, the cookie, I would know how much we had left in the episode depending on how much cookie I had left. Or you could just look at your watch. I will never look at my watch and I will certainly not do the thing. They didn't have those in Game of Thrones times. I won't pretend to press pause so I can see the little line come up on the bottom of the screen because it takes you out of the experience.

Oh, I do that all the time. I like to move my cursor or I like I pause. I pause shows all the time to be like, what do we got left? Why isn't there an easy way to look on? And by the way, just sidebar. And maybe do you have this thing, too? Do you lot of youtube who doesn't okay why is youtube so hard to fast forward and rewind what the fuck is the toggle i don't know what it is i've never given myself opportunity because anytime i want to even try to figure it out i know that it's going to skip to the next video. What is the toggle? Does anyone know?

It's all capitalism. It's all based on ads. You're right. They don't want you to be able to fast forward 15 seconds or behind 15 seconds. Like my porn, I love to be able to go. I don't know what you mean when you say, what is the toggle? No, for fast forwarding and rewinding youtube videos if you want to go 10 seconds ahead how do you do that without putting your finger on the cursor at the bottom and

tracing it and then getting it wrong there's uh on the screen uh you can tap on the the right side of the screen and it goes forward 10 seconds no no or the left side of the screen? On the screen itself. Oh, so there's no little marker. It's just the screen. Hold on. Gonna try it out. Kelly Clarkson covers 1979 by Pumkmashing Puppigans.

Oh, Brian, thank you. Okay, go back. Okay, we answered that. That just worked for me. Thank you so much for that. That blew my mind the same way when you taught me the cursor

or someone taught me just moving the cursor on the iPhone. You just hold it down and then you can move it all over the place when you're texting. Yeah. People don't know that. If you're in the middle of a text paragraph and you have a misspelling or there's a period that wasn't supposed to be there, you need to put quotes or something. Instead of like just tapping it and trying to get the cursor exactly where you want it

to in the text, you can hold down your finger and the cursor will go there. And then you just keep holding it and then move the cursor around on the screen. And you can move it wherever you want it to. And that, oh, there's a new one in town, you guys. Updated my iPhone. When you send an email, this is crazy. You send an email, draft it, and then you go to the little button that would be to send it like the the blue arrow hold that and then it will give you the option to send

tomorrow at whatever time and then you can send it in the am because how many times at night when you're in the middle of the night and you want to send someone a bunch of pages about sociopathy do you go this is gonna look chaotic coming at 4 a.m i would like to send this at 9 30 a.m and that's where you can do it isn't that cool so that's the new one okay go back to cook we have to go to break or mac mail mac mail um i'm not using mac mail who the fuck is using like on your phone do you always use gmail or do you use like this little guy this oh mac i'm talking Mac mail. Sorry.

I don't know who uses Gmail. No. I mean, I use Gmail through my Mac mail, but I don't on my home computer use the mail. Don't know why. Yeah. I never know how to set that one up. It's always jumping up and down. It's always like, come on, you know, like on your notifications.

And I'm like, get out of here. It's making weird noises. It's chiming during Zoom meetings. I don't want it. I'll go to the web browser. I'll type in gmail.com. I don't want you jumping around. I don't want final draft.

Stop jumping around and reminding me that I have a script that I will never start. Just down there. Okay. We are going to go to break and we'll come back with more Brian Frangie. We'll pick him back up where we started where he's sniffing his cookie and tracing where he is in the Game of Thrones episode right after this. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we're back. So you're in your cookie.

It's helping you trace the time. Any other things that would happen during this Game of thrones ritual that i missed out on well it was very it was very nice of you because it was your house and we'd watch the show and then uh you would give us our 15 minute grace period where we could sit there in silence and absorb what just occurred and you would then you would come out and you would start saying you would start making fun of us. And also trying to understand what happened. Why do we feel this way? And appreciating the show itself. Yes.

Thank you, Brian. Thank you. I don't mock something. If someone loves something, it's not just me just mocking it. And yesterday I was with my assistant, Jen, and my hair and makeup stylist slash friend, Robin. And we were in Miami for this event. And they got on about1 and Chris loves F1 and Robin loves F1 and Jen loves F1 and

I said something about F1 they go oh my god I love it I go why and they got very at first they were defensive they were like um because it's the best and I'm like no no no I'm not asking why like ew why sometimes I do that I'm not gonna lie i'm sometimes i'm very judgmental i want i go get me to like it please explain to me why i don't have this chip in my brain that enjoys cars go fast round round vroom vroom might flip over and like spill into the audience and kill people i realized my biggest hesitation with any auto racing is the chance that i'm going to be injured during it that i'm going to be injured during it. That I'm going to be in a car accident that I'm not in.

You know, like that a car accident is going to come into me. And they told me that rarely happens. It happened like one time in like 1960 something with like there was a huge F1, you know. But they're often, you know, just going like through like Monaco. And there are hundreds of people with babies. And I'm like how is this car not one time just like the guy gets a text message and just careens into the crowd this is the same reason i don't like air shows so yeah i would come out and try to understand

what is it about game of thrones it's it's so cute to me when my boyfriend especially is like i get kind of you know i get horny when he's into like like when he gets like reared up about like you know sexual things like when he i see him get like turned on by something i'm like very interested in like oh do you love that or when i found out as a kid he like played with legos i was like what that was your thing like that's so cute like i love learning what he loves and so that's why sometimes i get i think hurt where i'm like ch, why don't you care why I like Taylor Swift? Like, there's never been a question. And my family doesn't either.

My family is just, I go, aren't you interested why I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift? Like, no one's ever asked me why. Why does this mean so much to you? And it's because that is how I show my love is like, or how I feel connected to someone is figuring out how, why do they care about this so much? So I still, I get it. I get it with game of Thrones. I mean,

you're, you're definitely not alone, but I still don't. It's like football for me. I don't understand how you guys keep it all, how you memorize all of this shit and how it's all sticks in your head and how you, the characters don't.

Cause I've watched a couple episodes and it's in one ear and out the other i don't or in one eye and out the other um out my asshole because i just don't i can't retain it um so yeah that was uh that that was always fun though because i could could just go and get my 7 p.m nap and i'd come out with like indentations in my face from my sleep mask and just be like hey guys and like get my pick up my dog and kind of like let it out and then you guys would all just be in stunned silence um chris would be like weeping sometimes i'm like he's never cried with me okay like it would just be it's it was so cute that you guys all cared about something so much so what would they tell you when you would walk out and be like why are you guys into this what was their answer?

Oh, it would be longer than I'd want it to be. What is it, Brian? Like, what can you try to answer that for me? And then like, what is it? Because I'm guessing that you really haven't found a replacement for it since. No, when I say Last of Us is the next Game of Thrones, I really mean that it is appointment television that people, that the, a lot of people seem to be watching at the same

time. It's nice that something doesn't just dumped on you. Nice. It's nice that, it's from Taylor Swift's Bejeweled. Nice. It's nice when something isn't just dumped on you and you just binge all the episodes. I like this doling out. You know the doling out does not work

with Love is Blind. Netflix, listen up. I don't care about these characters enough for you to take a little hiatus. I'm not coming back. I'm going to forget who they are. Especially not if it's in Portuguese. Yeah, you can't dole them out

like it's a HBO critically acclaimed dramatization dramatization series you can't it's nice that you tried you don't it's not going to be destination tv we want to watch it in one binge when we're going through a depressive state of our lives and we want to watch other people's um going through something as well like we're not doing well when we watch these shows if you want us consistent viewership you you gotta, it can't be, it can't be love is blind. So I agree. I look forward to every Sunday with Last of Us.

It's a ritual. It feels like, you know, back to the way it was. Interesting enough, you know, Chris Rock having that live special and having that be,

that did well for Netflix, you know, people tuning in live. We're back where we, we're back at live TV. We came back full circle. It's the 1950s all over again. It literally, we're all where we were back at live tv we came back full circle it's the 1950s all over again it literally we're all watching the fucking moon landing um yeah any other things to say about game of thrones about game of thrones well i guess i didn't you didn't answer my question

um because i interrupted you about why why it matters so much why does it matter well i i think you just get really invested in the characters and the world and even though it was like horrible uh i think a little bit of part of me wants to be in the medieval times and i kind of wonder like what would i be too chris wants to be in post-apocalyptic he just wants to be tearing apart a cornish hen i will be dead ch well you joined him I remember watching Last of Us and it's almost like when Elaine and remember on Seinfeld when Elaine doesn't believe in God or heaven and hell

and Putty her boyfriend does and she goes you think I'm going to hell which I am not because it doesn't exist but you think I'm going to hell and she's like it's gonna be rough and she's like but David hell with the devil and the heat my god the heat And he's like, it's going to be rough. And she's like, but David, hell with the devil and the heat. My God,

the heat. And he's like, going to be rough. That's how I feel when Chris like loves post-apocalyptic. I'm like, I'm going to be raped constantly. I'm not going to have running water. Like I know you get to like go battle fucking zombies,

but it's going to be rough for me. Like we consider me and nothing like his wish is going to come true. But I get mad that people want to live in those. We're so lucky. We're not living medieval times. but it's gonna be rough for me like we consider me and not that like his wish is gonna come true but i get mad that people want to live in those we're so lucky we're not living medieval times aren't you so happy god yes i'd have to be like scrubbing all those mushrooms off the wall that's all i'd be doing is cleaning the fucking mushrooms oh i don't think about that at all i'm like oh thank god a excuse not to clean everything is dirty finally i mean it is gross there's no like kimptons to check into and like be like there's no nice linens anymore

sheet on last of us they're all on a dirty mattress on the floor i know he had that wound and she kept covering his shirt back up i'm like you're reinfecting the wound with his dirty shirt stop just leave it open to the air what sound did you make when she injected him with penicillin the first time? I said, Chris, this is the grossest thing I've seen in my entire life, was her putting a needle into a wound. I can't even think. I can't think of maybe in that movie. Remember the movie?

There's like a pie movie. I think it's called Pie. And there's like a needle in an eye it's called pie and there's like a needle in an eye or something weird happens with oh no pan's labyrinth there's some eye thing in that this is worse than that um so the characters all that stuff okay i want to set you up brian you came in you said you had a story that you want to tell yeah this weekend i had an ordeal oh please yeah yeah bring us through it hold us hold our hands through an ordeal. Oh, please. Bring us through it. Hold our hands through your ordeal.

Yeah, so I had a very stressful weekend because my neighbor is, I guess he's like a farmer. He's not a farmer. Don't you live in Culver City? Yes. Oh, no, no. Yes, I live in Culver City. I don't want to give too many spoilers.

It's a neighborhood in Los Angeles, everyone. Yes. My neighbor is a farmer. He has a lot of land and he farms. And my window looks out into his yard and I see him farming. And he's a nice man. But to protect his crops, he puts out traps. That last of us yes and frequently he traps animals like squirrels possum things like that and um sometimes he leaves them in that trap for a long

time like you're allowed to trap animals but you can't just leave them in there yeah um and i've called and so i've been watching this guy's yard for years and like i've called animal control on him um probably like three or four times over the last three years because i'm like hey there's a squirrel in there there's a possum in there there's something in there and it's not they're not letting it out it's been in there for a long time and they've and god damn it the local um the local animal control person would go down there and they would give him a warning and they would release the animal and they would say, you really can't leave it in there for that long. And so he's been spoken to. So on Friday of this weekend, I'm expecting to have a nice, pleasant weekend.

And I look out the window and I see in his backyard there is a possum trapped in his uh cage and it's raining and this possum's probably been there since the night because it's a nocturnal creature and i'm like i can't believe this possum in there but i'm gonna keep an eye on it because like you know if it's in there for too long this guy needs to let it out of course it's going to be in there too long he never lets them out so okay yes so i i all day i'm watching this possum in this cage and it's just so excruciating to watch this possum be like what is this he's like maybe i can get out now maybe i can get it you can never get out like no you'll never get out like that's the that's my problem people are like sometimes people don't understand why i care more about animals

than human rights issues it's because humans can understand their circumstance humans can go i'm starving right now i mean not chill children is a different thing but even children can kind of grasp and conceptualize what is happening we're in war right now it's raining i'm scared i'm lonely animals are just fucking terrified and have no, there's no, there's no accepting their fate. There's no, it's just, that is,

that is the part that breaks my heart is that confusion that keeping trying to get out that every animal that everyone eats feels. Yes. And so I, I, you have to give a grace period because it's like, you're allowed to trap the animal. And then you can, after like a few hours, you can take it to the woods away from your crops.

I go to sleep. I wake up the next morning and I look out my window and the possum is still there. So that means it's been in there for over 24 hours. At this point, I sent an email to the animal control, the local animal control guy. I have an email thread with him. We correspond. And I called him and nobody answered. And I'm like, okay, well, no one's answering.

And then at a certain point, after more and more hours pass, it's raining. And worst of all, one of the people. I have to say, if I was i was listening this podcast i would stop listening right now because i can't take the story i i will stay on because i'm the host but i am so uncomfortable with an animal's struggle i if this were not my podcast i would just go i'm assuming this story ends well i'm not listening so will you get to the fucking ending right now. I need to know this. Is this possum okay? I can't handle this. Okay, just keep going.

I'm just saying I'm very uncomfortable. I get it. There's people walking around in the backyard. They see this possum. I know that they see it. Fuck this guy, this fucking farmer. Okay, I hate him so much. So I call the police, the local police.

Not 911. I call the police station, and I say, hey, there's a person with a possum. It's howling in the backyard. Can someone just go over there and tell them to release it? Because I don't want to go over there because I don't want this guy to know that I'm a snitch. I want to keep looking out my window. I don't want anyone to know that I'm some guy peeking through the blinds.

And I also don't want him to retaliate if he finds out it's me. I'm really scared. He can set traps. He's a shifty guy. He's going to trap you you yeah the police will know his circumstance though i won't feel as bad brian is just gonna be like oh just like can't eat his cookies okay the police tell me that the animal the local animal control officer uh is no longer a position in the city so there isn't one they said you can't you have to contact la county so i so i call the county and the county tells me good for you brian the county tells me

we can't go out this is not something that we would go out to see this is not something we would do we need the police to tell us to go there so i I have to, I call the police again and I say, can you tell the animal control to go out there? You're like dealing with siblings. Like, fine, you go tell mom. Yes.

So finally they go out there and they knock on the person's door and they say, did you call animal control? And they say, no, we did not. And then they leave. So I'm like, I'm waiting like two hours.

I'm still watching this possum. And it's been in there for over two days at this point. And so I call back animal control and I say, what happened? And they say, they told us, but they didn't call. It's like, no, you don't understand. I'm snitching. You need to come to me and I'll show it but they didn't call. It's like, no, you don't understand. I'm snitching. You need to come to me and I'll show it to you in the backyard.

It's not them. They're not going to tell you we're torturing animals back here. So they're like, well, you have to get the police to call us and tell us to come back. So I call the police again. I call the police again and they say, okay,

we'll tell them. Animal control is on its way and they say, okay, we'll tell them. Animal control is on its way, they say. And you are not getting anything done this day. No, I just feel I wanted to make pancakes. And the whole day I'm hungry. Awesome pancakes. And I'm like, I don't want to make pancakes. I don't want to make pancakes when the police show up. That'll be horrible. I'll be in the middle of a pancake and it'll get burned i don't want to be eating around

the edge is ally your fiancee here also like with you monitoring staking it out or she kind of just like brian's doing his thing she's not here this weekend i'm all alone okay i'm just alone and i'm looking at this thing and i just wanted to make pancake so i would feel better and then and then uh uh my neighbor who is an 88 year old woman who i have a very good relationship with another neighbor a downstairs neighbor got it yes um she doesn't fuck around and she loves animals and i say i say you know that our neighbor's got a possum and then blah blah blah and she says well i'll go over there and I'll talk to him. I have a preexisting relationship with him. I was like, oh, okay.

But you got to wait until he's outside. And then I'll go over there and I'll talk to him. So I post up at my window. As soon as that man comes outside to check his recycling, I text my neighbor. My neighbor, I say, he's out. And then my neighbor says, okay. And then she goes out there. Excuse me.

Excuse me. My upstairs neighbor says okay and then she goes out there excuse me excuse me my upstairs neighbor says and i'm like no you don't understand no one understands the the the game okay yes my upstairs neighbor says that he sees a possum and you're and it's cruel and then at the exact same moment, animal control shows up. Yes. And the man, but unfortunately, the man has now been tipped off. Animal control shows up and I'm watching this out my window.

I watched the guy. Look at your window. No, he goes into his backyard. He knows animal control is here. He knows that we know about the possum. He goes into the backyard he lifts up the cage and he hides it in his shit yeah he what an asshole you have to get involved you have to get involved you have to say that i

just saw him hide it come on brian so the neighbor comes up and tells me that animal control is here i go out and talk to animal control. Do you tell them that I saw him hide it? They say, so what's going on? I said, the possum's back there. And at this point, the possum is not moving. I'm assuming it's been in there for two and a half days. No water, no food in the rain. And the animal control person is like, well, this guy's saying that he released the possum in the mountains this morning.

And I was like, no, I just saw him. And I'm like, I just saw him. In fact, I filmed him pick up the cage and put it in the shed. I show Animal Control my phone video of him putting the cage in the shed. Yes. And Animal Control is like, we have video evidence that the possum is still back there and you just put it in the shed. And he's like, if the possum is dead, you might be criminally charged for animal cruelty.

You better hope the possum is alive. Just give me the possum. Give me the possum and let me take it from you. I'll just release it. He should be charged anyway. The possum is near death. He's been tortured. He's allowed to trap

the animal but he can't keep it in there until it starves to death and dies right but what if it's about to die you know like isn't that a crime like why is there not like if you hit someone with your car don't kill them you still get in trouble okay go on um so the guy's like okay i now that there's video evidence I'm going to go and get the possum he takes the cage out he brings it and I say should I stay here because I don't want to have a confrontation

with a neighbor but I do want to see what the possum situation is he puts the cage down the possum is not moving the animal control person takes out another cage pokes at the possum and it wakes up. Yes!

And then he's like, what the fuck is going on? The possum is okay. The animal control person takes the possum, puts it in her cage, and says, I'm going to release it in the mountains. And then she puts it in her truck, and my neighbor scowls at me.

But he doesn't get in trouble either, which is fine. I don't want him to get in trouble and then have a vendetta. Yes. The possum is OK. The possum gets driven to the motherfucker. The farmer is not isn't arrested. And and I get to eat my pancakes.

And I I feel good that I saved the possum. But I also am in fear. Yeah, I'd be in fear, too. I mean, now he knows it's gonna be you're gonna be man because every time you leave your house do you have a chance of like seeing him like where is his car like is there a place to run into him i guess just to get the mail or take out the recycling you're gonna have to time it now oh i see him all the time and uh yeah and then i i try to smile at him and he never smiles back but now this guy's a fucking lunatic

serial killer he really does he sounds like the one the guy that you're like well I did know like the news team comes and goes did you would you ever think he would have all these bodies in his basement you'll go well there's a possum situation yeah you're this is so often the case you know where you

are witnessing a person abuse animals or people or their kids and you don't want to say anything because you know you're dealing with a psycho and so you i'm so proud of you for saying something though and like calling the right people and getting it done i don't know what i would have done in that circumstance i would have probably moved out because i'm like i can't watch this possum die but i'm too scared of this man um it's like this thing that we all have is it like a trauma response like nikki you reposted that great tweet the other day somebody wrote

something like that thing when men get angry with you when you simply told them what happened like you you explained to a man something that he did and then he gets mad at you for explaining it's like you're're now Brian in fear. In trouble. Because you just called out something totally inappropriate and you're in fear, why? This guy should be in fear. But it's like, you're scared.

He's the one that fucked up. I say, live your life happily and fucking peacock your chest out because you did the right thing. You're the good guy. He's the asshole that's torturing animals and you've got your eye on him. And don't let him scare you.

Don't let him terrorize you because you'll fucking call the cops again. I feel that way all the time. It's such an, if I, people, there was an instance of it, even with Matt and the confrontation with the guy

and wherever, Charl mad in the confrontation with the guy in um wherever charleston in the lobby i instantly felt because when he got mad at us i felt he's right we're wrong we're in trouble i need to just like give up like i can't take anyone being mad at me or or if i break a rule even if a rule is dumb um like i have i wouldn't i was talking about it to someone yesterday or i was scared of like we had pot on us or something and i was like scared of someone smelling it and like no and and i know the pot laws like most places it's it's legal or whatever but there was a part of me that was like scared about someone being arrested and they were like why are who cares it's like and i go well it's stinky and it's it's legal or whatever but there was a part of me that was like scared about someone being arrested and they were like why are who cares it's like and i go well it's stinky and it's annoying

so you should like we should take it over here and they're like but it doesn't matter and i go well i'm scared it is illegal and i will get arrested and i if i get arrested there's no me going like but i didn't mean it's just put my hands behind my back acquiesce like I would never I've and this is a maybe a white person thing like I don't I've I don't think I could ever be charged with a crime and I'd go but I didn't I would just fucking take it I've never whenever I've gotten yelled at about your you guys are too loud in this restaurant or like not that that's ever happened but I'm trying to give examples where you're like well this is okay that we're doing this or like um you can't take this chair this chair belongs

over here even though no one's new using that chair i just go oh i'm so sorry take back the chair there's no i will never finagle anything i will never get a good deal on something i will never go like but i think you said that i could get that i will just always give you all the money that you want i don't want to to ever try to scam the system ever. What about when a company wrongs you in some way? Yes. Well, this is another example. I was talking about, you know, someone was saying,

when I was talking about living in St. Louis and I go, you know, it's nice because studios, if they want me on their shows, they just fly me out and put me up. And then if they don't have the money, I'll do it myself. And they go, they always have the money. I go, I understand that Warner Brothers has the money, has millions of dollars that they would not even know about if it went missing and they'd find another way to make it. But what I'm saying is there is someone, there's a human being that is managing the money that was allocated for their travel expenses for their talent and there's a human being that is going to catch shit from another human being because i am asking for an additional night at this hotel so i know it's not about the company

it's about a human being who is in charge of that money this arbitrary amount of money and that's who i'm trying to not get in trouble or protect like i under i fuck apple fuck whole foods fuck amazon but there are people that are catching the brunt of these expenses or you stealing from a cvs the manager of that store yes yes steal from cv like i got so mad at my friend taylor because she shoplifts all the time she's like it's the man steal from the fucking man target doesn't care whatever and it's like no but that manager of that target has a family and has like he's gonna catch shit because there's too much theft going on in his place it's not about the corporation i wish we could just steal straight from the amazon headquarters but there is no amazon headquarters it's all in the cloud i just was in mexico on

vacation and we were out at brunch and they had a huge bachelorette party and between when we ordered and when we got our lunch, it was an hour and 10 minutes or something. And at the 45 minute mark- I would have died in that time. I left because I had to go do your podcast. So I was like, I gotta go. You guys have fun at lunch.

And I left my party there and I told the waiter, can you just cancel my tacos I have to go run to work and his face just fell and you know I was like I'm sorry and then a few days later my dad and I were talking and he was like do you know that here in Mexico the waiters are charged anytime somebody cancels an order or something and I was like what and I made a point to get the money to that waiter because i did not i was like i do not want that guy to have to pay for my lunch that i canceled interesting

why would that be i don't know um i also i was at um dinner last week with some australians and there was a question about whether there was butter in one of the dishes because i'm vegan and i ordered the asparagus but it tasted really buttery. It tasted too good, you know, and I was like, I think there's butter in this. And the busboy and I go, we got to find our waiter to ask because I had specifically asked him. The busboy came over and my friend Bex, the Australian, was like, do you know if there's butter in this? And I go, he doesn't fucking like we all were like go we all were like no no don't ask the bus boy like they're in i guess in australia bus boys are there's no bus boys everyone is just working in the same system in america bus boys generally don't know what's

going on with your orders they're refilling waters they're busting the table they're bringing out plates but they're not they don't know the ingredients of the salad do you know what i'm saying so there's i guess there's different things chef's meal what'd you say they haven't like sampled the family meal no i mean they're maybe like taking bits of food off plates that they bust because i used to do that when i would bust tables but i have awkward interactions with the bus boys all the time because i don't realize that they're the bus boy i think they're the waiter and then i go um oh can i order uh oh wait you're the bus boy oh is the waiter can i talk to you no never mind that happens like every time english i'm no offense and they're just kind of looking at you blankly and you go um you know well i'll just wait and it's just yeah it's

awkward but that is that's interesting good to know in mexico if you cancel your order it's they're eating the cost and maybe they're eating your order who knows i'm in miami right now um i couldn't sleep last night i didn't get to bed till 6 a.m i don't know what is wrong with me i am i need to start tallying my sleep because it's just not there's not enough and i don't know what i had caffeine yesterday i think that was the thing but i needed caffeine this is the paradox of caffeine you need it because you're tired to go to the event that you have to be on for and then you drink a little too much and then the second you are done with the event and it's time to go sleep sleep you cannot and so i gotta not do caffeine anymore i'm gonna um i haven't i usually don't do it i get decaf lattes every day but i had some yesterday because i went to the oscar party um here in miami the vanity fair oscar

party would not haven't been invited the vanity fair oscar party in la but miami i was um it was hosted by zeoman which is like a injectable thing that i did a sponsorship for and um yeah went to this like hoity-toity event got full hair and makeup um and flew here after buffalo my friend robin and jen are here we went out afterwards um the oscars i could barely listen because we were at this party and it would play and everyone's talking i i think kimmel killed it k Kimmel is just so good. You know, and we've seen him get good. I remember watching him on the Man Show. He used to host Win Ben Stein's Money.

He went from being this affable, chummy guy. He was always good, but he's just so... You know, the best kind of performers, they just make you feel like you're in good hands. You're not nervous for them. They're a Greyhound bus driver that you know has gotten a lot of sleep he's been doing this forever you don't worry like whenever i get on a bus i'm always worried that's overnight i worry about the bus driver falling asleep i can't sleep because i'm worried and i have to look at him

like brian watching the possum i'm like constantly checking in like is his head nodding off i have no comfort in a bus situation ever when i went on the burt kreischer tour i had panic and i had my assistant call burt's assistants to ask about the bus driver situation how many hours if they were like you know unionized like if there are rules about how many hours they can ride because i know they'll push it they'll take a couple five-hour energies smoke some meth get through the night i wanted like to make sure i know what they do out there and truck drivers it's very dangerous like it's a dangerous job and they gotta stay awake and they find not meth that is something that you would deep dive into is the life of truck drivers well i can't deep dive too much because i will

never sleep again because they're all on no sleep and i just worry about their mental health less than them falling asleep on the road i'm just just like, every time I see a truck driver, then I will have a bleeding heart of like, you're not getting enough sleep, which is me just like really obviously projecting constantly all over everyone. But so Kim will though, like I always talk about this when people are like, you're such a good comedian or like, what's the secret? It's like getting on stage enough so that you being funny is one part is a huge part of it no questions asked like writing jokes and that comes with time but that can also come with writers that can also come with people

helping you like you know like like we were talking about i go how does this world exist how does he know about tank engines and chris is like he just the writer calls up people that know about tank engines and then he gets information and i'm like okay so comedians can use writers but that confidence that you have on stage that that you are the bus driver that isn't gonna fall asleep like kimmel walks out and you go he's got this someone could run up on stage shit could happen this a light could fall down you know lady gaga could start like having a seizure and kimmel is gonna handle it you know i'm saying like we're safe um and not all hosts can do that i mean i want to i don't think i have that kind of calm and that's what i always try to do at the beginning of my shows is like try to make everyone feel like we're in good hands because generally

with stand-up comedy, you, everyone in the crowd is thinking I could never do that. Not everyone, but I would say the dates of the, I have my mega fans who are like, we know what she's capable of and we love comedy and we come to comedy shows all the time. We know how this works.

And then there's their date they brought that doesn't go to comedy shows and their date, whether it's a guy or girl is thinking, Oh my God, I could never do that. That would be so scary. I i'd be so nervous and then they project that onto you and you need to instantly give them like the feeling you're okay everything's fine we all that's why in america it's so fucking crazy that shows start with an mc who is the least experienced on the show that's why i introduced my own shows,

like from the backstage. Cause I'm like, I want a voice of like calm and not that Anya, you're a consummate professional. You're never, you're, you're someone who makes everyone feel relaxed. Even more so than me.

Sometimes I watch you on stage. I'm like, damn, the way she handled that last week, she handled a heck or this past weekend, she handled a heckler. It was so funny and so good and so present. But, umball just makes me feel that way and his i just want to when we come back from break i want to go over a couple of the jokes that i really enjoyed from his monologue and um

maybe talk about some oscar moments brian i'm guessing you watched it uh i did i did not you did not okay anya watched it i did not. I haven't seen a single movie. I looked up the list after. Okay, okay. We'll talk about when we get back. We'll talk about what we didn't watch when we get back. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious

satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to the show. Guys, I'm on tour. Not this next weekend. I have one weekend off, but not really because I'm going to D.C. to watch Chris's Adam Sandler Mark Twain Prize thing this weekend.

That'll be fun. So I'm off. But am I really off? Full hair and makeup, travel. You better be on. I swear to God, every weekend that I'm off, there's something else going on. Even though I want to do this and I'm not having to be on,

it's like you can't get any time off. But it's going to be awesome. Please watch the Mark Twain prize when that airs on CNN. I don't know exactly when. It's the end of the month. But I'm coming to the pacific northwest next next week the 24th and 25th friday and saturday i'll be in spokane washington with anya marina and um eugene organ on saturday so come out to those shows if you want we had a great time with besties this past weekend in Rochester, Buffalo and Ithaca.

So that'll be so fun. The Oscars. I loved Kimmel's joke about Ozempic. He's like, I can't help but look around the room and think Ozempic might work for me. I just loved that is one of my favorite joke deliveries of just you read it you know exactly how to deliver it it made me want to host the Oscars so bad his jokes because they were just you don't have to do a sing and dance Billy Crystal thing I'm like I want to host an event

like this and just have like scathing jokes that just kind of toe the line he said something about Tom Cruise looking hot and he was like El Ron hubba hubba like he said something about um tom cruise looking hot and he was like elrond hubba hubba like he said something he made a little dig about scientology there no no of course not because tom cruise can't go anywhere where scientology might be mocked i mean that is essentially why i think he wasn't there even though maverick was you know um nominated and then of course he talked about the will smith thing he made a joke about um there's so many irish people nominate his first dig at it was there's so many irish people nominated that like this is the year where there's going to be a brawl on stage like it's going to get really something about that and then he made another comment about you know if you oh he goes

guys this year there is a there's a plan in place. If anyone assaults anyone else, just do exactly what you did last year. Nothing. Do nothing. And then, oh no, he goes, if anyone comes up here and assaults anyone, we will immediately give you a best actor win and let you do a 19 minute long speech. And he's like, just do nothing.

He goes, no, don't even try it this week or this year um and then he just listed all the people that will like fight for him like that are there he's like i have spider-man here and they zoom in on andrew garfield and he's like i got you know and he's going through all of them it was fun it was it was a nice acknowledgement and there was an i think a couple other digs throughout the show he said this oh you know last year the slap happened during the documentary film uh announcement and so this year he was like and now to announce you know the best documentary um this was the time where we had some issue last year let's hope this time it goes off without a hitch or without hitch um which wasn't played hitch i thought that was a good line so a lot

of fun jokes last night i didn't really see the speeches i guess jamie lee curtis won um i don't know i was there any moments on you you watched it did you did you care about anything i wept i like really tuned in at like 807 or something i was a little late and i just immediately well i'm i love the oscars i've always loved them i I'm like Chris and Brian watching Game of Thrones. It has to be quiet, like no interruptions. Oh yeah, that's right. You don't go to Oscar parties.

No. I loved it. I just watched it alone for like an hour and then Matt came down with a big bowl of popcorn and reluctantly watched it with me. But yeah, I wept when Kei Kwan or whatever, won Best Supporting for Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

He was like, this is great. He was so excited. And he was just like talking about being from an immigrant family and how he's like, I'm living the American dream. Plus, I had watched a clip of his that was viral where he was like, I could not get medical insurance two years ago because it was a pandemic couldn't get anywhere and now it's like he got nominated for an oscar and then won he was just so grateful sorry overjoyed it was cute i'm gonna be cynical

that's okay this isn't the american dream this is not possible there's not any most people from immigrant families that come to the u.s or you know will never have this opportunity it's one one in a billion almost like it's it's probably one in 500 million at least to even get a chance to ever be in a movie and get this level of success he won a lottery this isn't this is not a dream that america offers anyone it is it maybe used to be it's not anymore it's the but america loves this presentation of like you can come here and this can be your life it's not gonna be we're probably gonna offer a better life than wherever you came from there's no denying that in a lot of cases but i don't like this thing of like that this could happen to anyone else like I like that and I don't

like and I don't like people to claim that they worked hard for something I don't like it anymore because I don't claim I work hard for things yes I do but I got lucky because I was born with a brain that worked hard everything is luck none of this really matters i you know i'm cynical about these shows when i went to the critics choice i was like had a existential crisis of like everyone in this room is playing dress up this is embarrassing um everyone in here thinks they like did something special when they were just probably either born with parents that were rich and supportive or and mine mine too, my parents were, were financially supportive of me.

Like, and they were born with a talent. Like we should just celebrate like you were lucky enough to be born with this talent. We can do that, but don't act like anyone's man made or self-made. I just don't buy it. And I don't buy people that America lets people like,

I don't, I think this is really suits the narrative we would like to say for the immigrant experience of like you can make it no you can't no you can't odds are you're definitely think that's true that's definitely true of casting like if if you think that you got cast in a role because you were the best one, you're wrong. It's there is 40 people who were the best one. And out of those 40, one of them was randomly selected, essentially based on some weird thing that a casting director had. Oh, I saw they had they drank an orange juice. Yes. How do you always hear the stories of how people are cast,

and it's like, I had seen him in this production of this one show. You're right. I saw the way he drank. He brought in an orange juice into the audition, and I like the way he didn't cap his orange juice, and it really spoke to the character. That was just a random fucking thing that happened. Or she gave a blow job. she gave the sorry she gave the idea that she might blow you someday do you know how

many actresses you know about because they fucked someone really and i'm not talking about like old timey you know most of your favorite actresses have done sexual favors for stuff and i i maybe not most i would say way more than you think. Your favorite actresses. Two of the four people here. I'm not kidding. Do you think I know that I've gotten roles because or opportunities because men have wanted to fuck me? I know it.

I haven't fucked them. That's not me being like I'm better than that. If I was a different person, I would have fucked them. I don't blame you for fucking someone for a role. If you think that you're talented enough and the only way you're gonna get it is to fuck someone and you don't care about fucking them it's not gonna really like affect your bottom line as a human being do it i don't care it you know i'm not trying to be um uh controversial here or uh accusatory or i'm just saying it like it is like the reason people get things

is not because they're talented most of the time and the reason they're talented is not because they worked harder or because they're better than you it's just they were born with this talent and I think the Oscars just like I think the Olympics is cool because it is a meritocracy

you know like there's no nepotism in in athletics there might be a little bit like you might get your son into the right kind of camps that make him train better and then but you gotta be fucking good you gotta run fast you gotta be a good player you gotta have a good arm do you agree am i wrong well it's not no you're not wrong it's just that there are certain countries that are able to have the facilities and the and the money and the exposable income disposable income to put people that's why america america isn't the most athletic nation in the world it's not like we genetically have all the athletes and that's why we win all the medals it's because we have so much income yeah we just take someone when

they're three years old and we put them in a pool and we make them swim and we pay for everything they could ever want. There's a book you gotta read, Nikki. It's called The Talent Code. The Talent Code. I know The Talent Code. You got me into The Talent Code and that is what has changed everything.

I mean, that took me from, that got me into like, there's no free will. Beyonce is Beyonce because of, first of all, she has an inborn talent. She was born with like the right kind of structure

in her head to produce that sound the right vocal cords everything is working so she was born with it it wasn't something she invented or she created and then she trained from the day she was probably singing and training since she was two and i'm not joking and she went to there's a lot of talent that comes out of exactly where she went to went to go train she's the best out of all of them but she she didn't come out of nowhere i didn't come out of nowhere people think like you're so good and i go because i've been doing it for 20 some odd years i'm coming up on um the 20th anniversary i think of doing stand-up march 12th what's the date right now is it oh yesterday oh we just started doing comedy anniversary that's huge it was march like 12th or it might have been march 13th so this might be it but um

it was the first time i went on stage and then i took a break but i mean like that's why i'm good it's not be and because yes i'll say it's because i'm quick and like my brain is i'm smarter than a lot of people there's no doubt about that i have I have, I'm smart. I'm not as, there are many people that are smarter than me, but I didn't make my smartness. You didn't make your legs that made you a fast runner.

You have those, you can train properly. We all think we're in control of it, but the talent code is fascinating because that is what got me on the controversial take of anyone could be a comedian if they want to be.

Anyone could be anything they want to be anyone could be anything they want to be it's just about how many hours you devote to it and how young you intercept them that's why china's good at gymnastics they steal they robbed girls of their childhood much like we do i mean i remember when kirsten got really good at gymnastics we were like doing gymnastics at the same time she was always better than me more inclined just has the body for it born with it not taking anything from but she is. And she started going up the levels. And then suddenly when she was like at competitive level, bye-bye Kirsten, no more hangout because you have to go to the gym for four hours after school every single day. And it was like, and she got, thankfully she got out of

it before high school really kicked into gear because she would have had no experience except that one, which isn't not an experience. You have friends there and you have a social life there that becomes something. But it's a huge sacrifice that these people make. It's so rare that you see videos sometimes of an autistic girl just going up to a piano and just playing a Bach concerto. And she's blind and her head is spinning around. And just like never practiced it she heard it one time that is something we don't understand yet but that is also something that she couldn't control like no one don't stop giving people credit for being talented we can give them credit for being lucky and that's but I remember that fan who won last comic standing the first season he came he

shouldn't have won he had literally 10 minutes of comedy tops he won the first season he came to ku to perform um i would just started comedy like a year before i went to go see him i'm front row i'm so excited he's not good he's mediocre whatever most of his show was like a real we watched of him on the show and then he did a q a i mean these are all tricks i know to fill time now you like start with a video you do your act then you end with a q a you did a q a i raised my hand i go how does it feel to be like so lucky to have won that show because he was against like rich voss and like todd glass ralphie may like there were people in place i forget exactly the makeup up he shouldn't have won just like when i was on last come standing i was lucky i was i had five minutes of comedy i so many people were better than me

and i said that and i will never forget i go how lucky are you to have how do you feel so grateful that you like i said something about luck and he goes, luck had nothing to do with it. And I was just like, he got so mad. And it's like, dude, everything is luck.

I mean, more so than I even knew at the time, but certainly for him to win that show, it was just luck that he was in the right place at the right time. But people hate that because they want, final thought, people hate to have luck as the thing because it's not in your control and everyone wants control

and to be able to go, no, I earned that. I did that because I'm smart. And it's like, well, you got lucky that you were born by parents who were smart and they gave you some of their genetic smartness. It's not, you're just lucky. But then at the same time,

I've noticed people who, you know, I'm something, when I started getting things in my career, people always used to go, I'm so glad you're getting this. You deserve it. You work hard. And it really bothered me because people were excusing my talent as she just got that because she worked hard. Like she's not born with it. She's not a natural. She just got it because she worked hard like she's not born with it if she's not a natural she just got

it because she worked hard and then there are people who don't work hard who are just naturals who hate when people go you're a natural and they go no because i got this because i worked hard so no matter what you get credit for i realize you want the other one it's always greener on the other side of the i can't control it street, which because we're always looking for something that like, no, I did this. Brian, thoughts? Yeah, it's like being a musician or a comedian or an athlete. It's like if you're an athlete, you want to do comedy. If you're a musician, you want to be an athlete.

And if you're a comedian, you want to be a did I say that already? I forgot what i said yeah yeah yeah no it's true everyone wants to be but do you believe do you believe in free will are you on the no free will train yet um i believe that the universe is random chaos and this is a charade that is leading towards nothing but i also think that we do have some we have some agency over what occurs and i i really do think that the decisions you make today will affect what happens three five years from now yeah butterfly effect like uh yes yeah little things yeah totally like like i i went out of my way to release that possum

and maybe in a couple of weeks i'll read a story in the news that says like local possum eats baby and i'll feel terrible about it that's just what happens starving possum we don't yeah goes against its natural instincts in the mountains yes we just don't know what effects we're going to have. And that's where the luck comes in. It's like, hopefully the decision, cause you don't know.

It's like gambling. It's like, Oh, I think Anthony Davis is going to get 40 points today. It's like, it might feel like that's the right decision when you place the bet, but then he gets 10 points and you lose $2,000. And you're like, well,

I guess I didn't know. Of people going like, I just had a feeling. I just, everyone loves to say that of like i just knew like when we were playing that psychic game on the girls trip anya it yeah it just like made it irritated me so much how everyone didn't see the mind games that were being played like we all wrote down so brian we got together on this girl's trip we all wrote down like a word

on a piece of paper and then we crump like whatever word just like we just say like the first word that comes to your mind whatever pops in your head which i think is an example of no free will because you don't control what thought pops up it just does and it was a perfect example of that so you write down write down all these words we crumple them up we put them to a thing and then we each have a question in our lives and we ask the question aloud like what should i do about this my future it could be as you know vague as that and then you open the thing and it would say volcano and we would go that means that you are spewing creativity soon and that it was like tarot card reading yeah you just project what you want onto it which is fun and it's a good way to interpret life but i don't you know i don't

know that there's really um although i will say that the you know we talk about the astrological sign thing on here in like astrology a lot and how i think it's probably bullshit but you know who cares it's fine if it's not harming anyone it's not like religion it doesn't seem to be like organizing people to hate other people even though it kind of is when people are like any scorpios i'm not working with you aka jlo you're fired yeah um but we did a thing where you know all the on instagram there's all those like um they'll have like different slides for your sign and it's like it's a meme and it's like this is a scorpio meme and this is a squarius meme so we blindly took all of them and took off the sign and then we sent them on my girls chat and i said everyone read through all of these and see which one suits you the most

which one describes you the most and then see what sign it is and instead of just finding your sign and going oh no that's so me because that's the cognitive fucking tricks that our mind plays to give us what we want and i will say that most of us picked our own sign and that was wild isn't that crazy so there's and you know i leave open as much as i think i know the laws of the universe and i know everything and i'm a misnomer at all i will say that um the one show that got me to question afterlife is the show um uh after death or something it's a tyler henry's show the little psychic kid who scribbles on a piece of paper and talks to people who are dead and i wrote on his

instagram because it was a year since the anniversary of his show debuting on netflix and i wrote a comment i was like is this like so lame but i was like this show changed everything for me i look at death i i now look at death differently and i meant it like that show changed that little experiment we did in the girls chat with the astrology i go okay i'm open to it i might embrace this and then tyler henry show i think there might be ghosts i think there might be an afterlife i'm not like i'm i'm open to it and it's interesting how those how you can even be open to that stuff from a netflix i mean it's a comforting thought for sure i hope there's ghosts i hope that there's something i mean the the biggest fear that i have is that there's nothing

and uh that's probably the case and um yeah that's why ghost ghost shows are like full of hope that's like oh that tortured ghost is something it's i'm not not gonna be nothing but do you ever think about the thing of like you just go back to the way it was before you were born do you ever does that bring you comfort you've heard that obviously right yeah it makes me no comfort it makes me want to scream and jump out a window but that's probably the case yeah i'm gonna be frozen in a tube until they can fix that fix aging and they're gonna defrost me and they're gonna be like they're they're getting on it yeah i need to be defrosted once yes my dad

wants to be decapitated and frozen head and then they'll clone all the stuff in his head and he can come back why why would you want to be back as an 81-year-old man? Well, maybe he's enjoying life as an 81-year-old man. And he can't go back to his 31-year-old self. So he's just got to take what he can get. But I do agree. Maybe you can. Maybe you can put your brain and your memories into a robo body. And you can walk around and you can jump eight feet high.

That's true. I don't want to come back to whatever world we're living in when they have that technology. It's going to be so advanced. I'm not going to know the new apps. There's going to be some new app that every all the kids are on and i'm going to feel so out of it i'm terrified of aging not because of the looks but because i'm so scared of being stupid with technology and right now i'm like i'm starting to get a little stupid like i don't i don't know how to make a real i don't know how to like do fade in i don't know how to do that thing where you like talk behind an image or in front of an image and you're like see what she's wearing here like I don't know how to do that yet I know I can figure it out

I just figured out how to fast forward YouTube so yeah I'm I'm getting there but um tap tips let's talk about you don't have to worry about any oh sorry you don't have to worry about any of that by the way you don't have to worry about... Oh, sorry. You don't have to worry about any of that, by the way. You don't have to worry about learning anything because in the next five to ten years, all you're going to have to do is ask the AI to do it for you. You don't have to learn any of this shit. Really? AI will do it for you.

You'll just type, can you please make a reel for me where my head is in front of a blah, blah, blah, and the AI will do it for you. You don't even have to know coding anymore. It's crazy. This is relaxed. That makes me feel both better and more awful.. You don't even have to know coding anymore. It's crazy. This is relaxed. That makes me feel both better

and more awful. So I don't know. It also makes me feel bad. Let's get in on this and more tomorrow on the podcast. I'm so glad you're going to be around. You were so fun today. Brian Frangie, thank you for being here. Again, Spokane, Washington, Eugene, Oregon, 24th and 25th coming up in two weeks. Come to those

shows. Anya Marina, thank you for being here. Noah, I love you so much. Don kuh and just ask the chat gtp to do it is that the name of them yeah yeah sweet I got it right Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.