The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #331 Out Of Her Cocoon!

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

It's a big announcement day for the show! Nikki asks some burning questions for Besties to learn about Brian Frange. They discuss the pinnacle and lowest moments of the latest season of Love Is Blind so far. Brian tells a story of unrequited love at a Creed concert. Nikki and Anya share an important PSA to women about buying gifts for men. Nikki has a strong opinion about two controversial topics, Ozempic and Nepobabies. She also covers her harrowing story of getting to see Taylor Swift, experiencing unsolicited kindness from hotel employees and her two cents on the biggest break up of the year! --------- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian Frange: brianfrange.com More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am Welcome to the show We had a week off, thank you for your patience We are back, better than ever I am here I am also joined by Noah in Arizona Anya in New York And Brian Frangie in Los Angeles

How's it going guys? So good Oh god Brian Frangie in Los Angeles. How's it going, guys? So good. Good. Oh, God. So is that good? Sounds like you spilled milk on your keyboard or something. I mean, you know me.

That spot was put on the spot on how are you doing, and I didn't have an answer. I should have prepped you with that I should have given you that hard-hitting question ahead of time please let me know I should have given that to your publicist yes I need a couple weeks can I just say before we begin I mean I guess we've begun I literally just was driving home from my voice lesson and there's this one corner where there are homeless people I don't even know if they're homeless they're but they're asking for money on the corner every single time you pull up to the stoplight and um today one of them was wearing a pittsburgh pirates ball cap okay which

i only know because there was like a p on it and i didn't know at the time that's like that is the cap but i was like is that a pittsburgh pirate set and he had an eye patch whoa wow he was double pirating it was so funny and it wasn't for a bit i mean i don't think homeless people are really focused on doing bits and i hope next time he has a peg leg it was really funny and then i realized when you google pirates hat you got to be specific. Oh, yeah. Because then you guys. Pirate's team hat. I get a real pirate.

Yeah. Pirate's baseball hat. I like that you said ball cap. That felt like an old. St. Louis. Like a dad thing to say. Ball cap. But baseball cap instead?

Yeah. I usually say baseball cap. What are the shoes that you run around in for sport? Running shoes. Tennis shoes or sneakers. Brian, don't do that. That's what I call them. You call gym shoes running shoes?

I say they're, yes, running shoes. Running shoes? Is that stupid? No, I just don't think anyone calls them that unless they're like specifically running shoes that you buy at like a running store. We should do the New York Times dialect quiz at some point. Oh, it's so so fun i've done that to you haven't i brian no no i every single group of people i've ever hung out with i've subjected to doing the new york times dialect quiz and it's so fun because

if you just type that in you'll find it you go through all these questions and it just talks about like what do you call those little bugs that roll up in balls that you find under rocks? And like you answer that question, it's like multiple choice. And some of them are like roly-poly. Some of them are like pill bugs. Some of them are like- I call them maggots.

Well, again, that wouldn't be, then it would be like none of the above and they would, but they place you, they finally, you go through like 25 questions and then by the end of it they can like pinpoint the region of the country that you're from wow in in such a specific way or what do you call rain on a sunny day and it'll be like wolf howling at the moon like the devil beats his wife and it's like wait what what state are you from what it's so funny um so yeah check that out some we should do that at some point but um kicking off the show today i just want to

announce um that from now on because we love him so so much brian frangie is now a permanent uh the permanent sidekick on the show so congratulations brian you won thank you i won oh my god well it's a it's an honor to be the sidekick and um i got to imagine that like most things that are new people will hate me and then slowly they will learn to accept the change you will leave eventually and someone else will come in and they'll be like, he's nothing like Brian. So whatever you're saying right now, listener who might be like, what? Just stop. Okay, because first of all, I think most people are going to love you because you've been on so much. I think that they have fallen for you as I have as I just want to do every show with you.

So it just was a natural progression of things. But I do, I've always made this point whenever I've been on a show where I've never been on before, people always go like, who is this? Who is, and it's like,

did you, and I've said this before on the podcast, were you born knowing who Tom Hanks was? There was a moment where you didn't know who Tom Hanks was and, and you had to go or Meryl Streep or Brad Pitt like there's a first for everything and what I'm saying is Brian Fringy's are Brad Pitt yes yes I mean I don't even know who I am half the time so I mean I feel like if the people don't know then that's that's right on course with what I feel yeah that's kind of true yeah I that's another

point I always make when people don't like me I'm, you have no idea how much I don't like myself. Come at me. We have more in common than I have with my fans, to be honest with you. So it's always funny to me when people don't like me. That's a fun way to twist it and be like, well, I'm better at you at hating me than you are. Um, but, uh,

we're not talking that way today. We're talking positively. Yes. That is the way I do it. Um, now it's like every time, every, everyone on the podcast,

I think understands that I'm on this like continual girls chat with, um, Anya, my friend, Sarah Lena, Kirsten, Holla, Taylor,

Carlisle, Catherine, and Noah's on it too, but it's just overwhelming. And my sister's on it now too. But it's just so over there. We're constantly chatting on this thing. Voice memos, texts, everything, pictures. And it's just like this nice place that you can go. But we so often come on there and vent. And yesterday I was venting about something. And at the of it i just go but you know what i don't have to worry

about it because i'm a lucky person and everything works out for me and it really just like nice it just it finishing up any you can rant and you can rave and you can i think those that's the only two things you can do you can um complain about your life all you want and more power to you, get it out. But at the end of it, just book and mark it with, but I'm a lucky person and things always work out. It doesn't mean it's going to work out the way you want it to, but it's going to work out. My fiancee, Allie, did that the other day because of you.

Really? Yeah, she was ranting and raving and she couldn't think of anything else to do besides those two things. Yes. And then after it, she said, but I am lucky, and things just work out. Yes. And then she literally said, I'm saying that because Nikki told me to. Oh, that's so nice.

Thanks, Allie. That's so sweet. Well, speaking of things about you, you have a fiance, Allie, who you are marrying in June. My boyfriend, Chris, just told me he booked cabins for us in Colorado. I'm very excited about your wedding. And it's going to be a fun little trip for me and my boyfriend. I was going to say fiance, but that's not at all close.

That's what I thought you were going to say when you were like, Chris. I thought you were going to say fiance, but that's not at all close. That's what I thought you were going to say when you're like Chris. I thought you were going to say Chris proposed. But you know that I can't wait to say fiance because it's just a cool word. But anyway, we're very excited about that. We wanted to do a little thing in ingratiating you into the show permanently. I want everyone to feel like they do know you.

So let's do a little burning questions for Bob. Burning questions for bob burning questions for bob now this was a segment we originally did for bob saget he's no longer with us but it's just a good way to get into some um questions for you brian now these are going to range between the trivial and then i did look up i like googled you know get to know you questions for like you know companies where it's like very surface and then i did look up i like googled you know get to know you questions for like you know companies where it's like very surface and then i did some like ones for like relationships intimacy okay so they're gonna run the gamut you can pass but i'd i'd like you not to okay if you can you know you'll figure out something first one is how are you well uh i think i'm doing i'm on the upswing i'm on the upswing that's all i can say is that

things are looking good usually they're on the down so good good so far yeah well we had a really once one day when i was in la and we had just done the podcast we had a breakfast and there are so many layers to you and that we are going to get to know through the course of the show that I hope you share with us. You're a fascinating person and I did think everything was just going great for you, but you have some complexities to you

I'm excited to get into. We're not going to do that right exactly now, but here we go. All right, first question. What was your first concert? Oh, well, it was Creed.ed i went to go see no way at the jones beach amphitheater and i remember it's there's how old are you there was uh how old am i now yeah 35 but there was this girl who uh and this was like this is there was this girl who i liked who was a little older than me

and they were going to see this creed concert and i like somehow weaseled my way into uh you know this is like jones beach amphitheater this is where the bands go to you know have their final whatever's and uh what wait final whatever you don't get you're not gonna get taylor swift at the jones beachphitheater. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I feel like Dave Matthews plays Jones Beach. He'll play Jones Beach sometimes. Yeah.

So there's like every season. You have everyone from Creed to Dave Matthews band. Yeah. You'll have a lot of like Allman Brothers will be there. And it's like, OK, we know what the vibe is here. There is this girl. You're on your way out. Yeah. There was this girl who I had a crush on who was a little older than me who was going to this concert. And somehow I weaseled my way into getting tickets with them.

And then she didn't come. And I was really upset. That was like my first. Oh, God. Yeah. And I was like a little too upset. I was like, what the hell? Why?

Why wouldn't she come? It didn't make any sense. But I used to have that constantly where you would think a crush was gonna be someplace and you get all dressed up you get gussied and you show up and they're not there or they like called in so they're not doing their set at the cellar that night and you're all dressed up for no reason not really no reason you're going on stage there are people looking at you you should dress up for the audience but you specifically had like an outfit in mind and you thought you might get fingered like there's just things you prepared and it was a waste i gotta tell you there's nothing sadder than being uh dropped

off at a creed concert i mean i was alone you off my parents i was alone and yeah so you were in like eighth grade i walked away i don't remember i i walked away i don't know i walked away from the my my my dad's car uh alone to go to see creed that was my first fan or no i wasn't a fan i just said that the girl was going to see it didn't they sing with arms wide open yeah With arms wide open. Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. So that was like 99, 2000-ish. Maybe later.

I don't know. I have no idea. But how did you meet, how do you know a girl that's older? Did she go to school with you? Yeah. Yeah.

She went to school. She was in like the grade above and it was just like a thing to go, to go see is go to this concert. What all the good Christian kids were doing.

I mean, well, that's the thing. Back then it was called Creed. And I don't think people really connected the fact that it was a Christian band. It was just like mainstream. Same with she is every he is everything you want. He is everything you need. He is everything you need. He is everything inside. You know that song, Vertical Horizon?

They were a Christian band. No one knew. Wow. That song's about God. I always used to say, if you want to know who's a Christian rocker, take any song that a man is singing where he's singing about a man. That is the only time men sing about men. Also, Jars of Clay.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I love Jars of Clay. I love that one song, Flood. Yes. Okay, next question. When did you last cry and what was it about? Yesterday, I cried several times.

Wait, what? Several? I cannot believe how many times I cried watching, binge watching Love is Blind. I was binge watching Love is Blind.

Wait, really? You cried about Love is Blind? Oh, I cried. I cried a lot. Because of the love? Yeah, I mean,

obviously the love. Because of the blindness. The blindness. Because of the wall? I couldn't take the wall. It was... Wait a second. So let me guess

when you cried, Tiffany and Brett, their love is so real. Yes. Right? My favorite character is Tiffany for sure. Who fell asleep on Brett

and that, we thought it was over and then it was like nothing. Can we just say that is a perfect example of, you know, someone being so wounded by something

that someone else does. For those of you who don't know, Love is Blind is a show where two people meet in pods. There's a wall between them. They just fall in love through their voices. Tiffany and Brett were, for the first time, confessing their love to each other. Tiffany says everything that Brett wants to hear. Brett then returns the love.

But Tiffany's had a couple drinks. You can tell it's late at night. These people are, I know, reality shows. They don't get much sleep. And Tiffany's laying on this couch, and falls asleep to brett's soothing voice telling her that he loves her and she falls asleep and he does he thinks she left or something like i don't even know what he thinks he's just like hello hello and then he leaves and in the music is just like this guy's heartbroken he goes back and he's like fuck that man he's talking to all the boys

back at the house and he's mad and then you think and then it's cliffhanger and they go oh my god you go oh i can't wait to find out what happens you go to the next episode and then tiffany's just like brett i am so sorry she first of all wakes up to her friends coming to get her you can tell producers were like hey girls go in and wake up tiffany she's asleep and she wakes up like singing because they're like singing a song and she just wakes up singing it's really cute And then she's like dancing. And then she kind of pieces it together like, oh, my God, when did I fall asleep? Oh, no.

Oh, no. And she's like, I'm so. So she apologizes to Brett. And Brett, like a real man, like a real human, let's just say, in a relationship, even though he was almost mortally wounded by her falling asleep, he instantly understands her side of things. She's like, I fell asleep. Your voice is so soothing. I love you so much. I'm so sorry. And he goes, you know what? I think in the end, this is just going to be a funny story between us. Boom. He gets on his knee and proposes. I'm not saying get over stuff that quickly,

but kind of do. Okay. Like if someone doesn't mean to hurt your feelings and you apologize and there's a good reason for why it happened. Like I didn't leave the pot. I wasn't ignoring your love. I fell asleep because I'm tired and your voice is soothing. Can we just like Brett's turnaround for forgiveness was the kind of turnaround I think I have for forgiveness and that I want from others. Oh, I've seen it. I've seen you forgive for much worse offenses than uh falling asleep while someone says i love you uh i mean it's really yeah and like also that's not a big

deal like okay she fell asleep like there's no reason he should have been that upset in the first place so the fact he was having a hard time with those words because he didn't really receive them growing up yeah it was very vulnerable for him He thought she might have left or something. Like, we don't know what was going on in his head of like what could have happened. And so, but just the, how mad he was. I was thinking, man, this guy is ruining everything by getting so upset about this.

And now it's all ruined and I was so upset. And then immediately he's just lets it go. And it was like, that to me, I just, I was so, I was so happy for Tiffany because she's picked a guy who is not going to hold grudges and Lord things over her. And like,

I thought he was going to based on his reaction. It was just, did you, what do you, did you guys think that was kind of like a quick turnaround for how upset he seemed to be? And were you, were you as impressed as I was, or was was kind of like a quick turnaround for how upset he seemed to be and were you were you as impressed as i was or was it kind of i thought they edited it in a way to

make us wonder if she might be have a have like an alcohol abuse problem because you know we're like wait if this girl's gonna be passing out all the time because she had been kind of drinking i thought she had narcolepsy i thought the same thing I was like she's gonna say because they weren't showing her drinking we only knew that because we saw a bottle and we had to like rewind and see it

so they could have shown her drinking to insinuate that I don't think that's what they were trying to do we thought Irina had narcolepsy so to have two narcoleptics

on one show would be crazy Irina is a sleepy snake would be a real gift the sleepy snake the sleepy Russian snake that I'm just saying Russian because she's Russian

and I'm not insinuating Russians are snakes or they're sleepy it was just funnier to add a third word there but she um irena's the funniest character i know did you cry about her brian no i know when he cried well i cried for brett and tiffany many times and what's her name's photo shoot or they're wearing neon yellow matching underwear. That, I couldn't, first of all, she's always dreamed of having this photo shoot. For people who don't know what I'm talking about,

Kwame and Chelsea. Kwame did not pick Chelsea, right? Initially. He wanted Micah, who has like a very baggy rabbit mouth, but it's adorable. She has like, her mouth is like so sexy. It's adorable. She is like, she,

her mouth is like so sexy. It's sexual. And I want a mouth like that. I mean, it sounds like I'm being mean, but it is kind of like, and she like talks like this and she, and actually ended up with a guy who's kind of perfect for her,

Paul. And they both kind of talk with like clenched straws and they like don't open their mouths like this. And Paul is like scientific. He's a science nerd. He's an environmentalist. He, and he looks like he would have gone to Jones Beach to see the Allman Brothers. Like, and then, but she, so anyway, Paul and Micah end up together. Micah also had a connection with Kwame.

Kwame is head over heels for Micah. Yeah. Kwame. Kwame is head over heels for Micah. Then Micah breaks up with Kwame, goes to Paul, Kwame then is left with we've seen this happen on seasons before, he is left with choosing his second choice. And he does. He falls in love with her and it seems legitimate. They have a

great sexual connection. She at one point says that I want to have a spiritual connection with my husband's body. Girls, are you listening to me? If you want to turn a man on so much that he gets a boner through a wall, tell them that you want to have a spiritual connection with your husband's body. They'll marry you tonight. It was so horny. So then they end up together.

It's his horny. So then they end up together. It's his second choice. Chelsea, however, great example of a woman that is not going to let the girls from the past affect her. She's not like feeling like a second choice. She's not like, woe is me. She knows about Micah, but she is certain that her man chose her. And she is not suffering any kind of like jealousy or insecurities until. And we'll talk about that when we get back and we'll find out why else Brian Pryde. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show,

which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts all right we're back did chelsea and kwame's relationship make you cry

no chelsea kwame is making me so upset because i've never seen someone lie to themselves so many times to justify his relationship with her. He wants out of that relationship so bad. So much! And Chelsea is to blame too because she has been dragging him along this entire time, forcing him into decisions he doesn't want to make

and she has been forcing him to do things. And she, I forgot what I was going to say. And now I'm just saying she over and over again. I will say this. She. She. I was always team Chelsea because this is a confident woman who feels like she knows herself.

She is very just like powerful in her body. She has great posture. She has a great physique. She just like exudes. That's true. She has great posture. Confidence. Yes. Amazing posture. She has a great physique. She just exudes confidence. That's true. She has great posture. Yes.

Amazing posture. She has a fantastic rig. I mean, her body is perfect. Her rig is good. Best rig on the show, I think. She has a good face. She's good. I like her, and I just like who she is. She seems to know who she is.

But you know what? When she was fake as fuck during that little trying on outfits together when they had gotten into a fight in the morning. Do you guys remember what I'm talking about? So we didn't see the fight in the morning. We only hear about it. But this is later on when they're living together. This is about a week out from them getting married. So what happens on the show is that they meet through a wall. They get engaged through a wall. Then they meet in person. Then they go to a vacation, like a little pre-honeymoon for about probably four or five days then they leave there and they move in with each other to an apartment in the town that they're

both from this so happens to be this show is like seattle portland-y based so they're like in the northwest region so at this point they're and then in four weeks after living together they get married so um and then at the altar we really decide like what what's going to happen here they kind of keep it they don't break it off before they get to the altar which is there's myriad reasons why it's mostly to do with production and like we just want the show to have the most stakes possible no one really seems to think that they can just say hey let's date and not get married that's so stupid it doesn't seem to be an option, even though it's like the number one thing to do.

The most obvious thing in the world would be like, you know what, maybe we shouldn't get married in 20 days. Maybe we should just date. Well, it did kind of happen this season with Zach and Irina and then adding Bliss and Zach are getting married. Yes, but they're pressured to marry. There's no like, let's just date because that's not what the show is. That wouldn't be exciting to watch.

There's got to be stakes. And the show is brilliant because it has so many levels. There's so many different settings. It really is one of the best reality shows out there, including FBoy Island. Can I just say, FBoy Island is amazing. I have something I want to say about FBoy Island,

but can I just say about Kwame and Chelsea is if you're in a relationship and you find yourself over and over again convincing the other person to do things you want them to do. You cut out. Oh. This is hilarious that we lost him on this rant. He finally has some. Okay, go back. We lost you for all of that.

No, we lost you after convincing another person well you can't if you're in a relationship she where you're convincing the other person over and over again to do what you want then it's not a good relationship you can't go through your whole life just forcing a person to do something yes when was the first time you think that happened and this two well i mean portland seattle the big things yeah it was like you have to move away from portland you can't play soccer ever again i don't you can't have your mom's acceptance i mean this is insane that this guy is still in this relationship yeah and then he lies to everybody he lies to himself because

their sexual connection i think is off the charts and which can, you know, blind you. OK, let's get back to the questions because we can always go off on a love is blind tangent and I'm sure it will come up again. So you cried several times. Was it all Tiffany and Brett related? Was there any other thing in love is one that made you cry? I don't get it. I think I'm an easy cry because I cried. I just like seeing good people love love is blind is a great reality show because a lot of the characters are actually good they're good people sweet yeah and they're looking for love and they're they're not trying to play a game and when they actually are

trying to find so and i i just love watching good people say nice things to each other is that is there a show like trump when you said good people. I love good people. Wait a second. I can't do Trump. Brian, did you know the song that Zach sang when he proposed was a Ludo song? What?

Yes. I didn't even realize that. What's the Blarney Stone? Yeah, the Blarney Stone song that Zach, who is, I will say that when we were watching it together on the girls trip in palm springs noah who has been rather quiet the whole time we're watching i mean she comments here and there but we're all just kind of like absurd noah for the first time takes a strong

opinion about zach and he he's wearing i think he was wearing jeans with a black belt and then black dress shoes and then he was also wearing a like target kind of um you know uh athletic shirt that is something you'd wear running with your running shoes it's like a sweat wicking thing and it was or like light orange and he had food on his mouth and he had his leg on a couch yes and he would use like on a pillow like in the pillow you know like where someone would lay their head and noah just goes oh he's a wreck he's a mess or something yeah so funny he constantly had frosting so what's that as soon as they saw him is like taylor goes he has bad breath he looks like he

has bad breath constantly you guys were bagging on him so hard i thought he was so cute i thought he's cute too but there were times where i mean it was he's just himself and but yeah there was a lot of bagging he's a wreck he's a wreck so the song he sang the reason i'm bringing this up is ludo is a band that my boyfriend's brother one of my good friends tim and and brian frangie's ex-roommate tim convey was in a band called ludo they were huge let's go back to 2008 they were huge they have a massive amounts of fans that like get tattoos i mean ludo fans are like Swifties. They're like insane fans. But the band broke up in 2008, but they're still around.

And Tim had told me that Love is Blind contacted them because a guy on the show had sang three of their songs. I mean, that's amazing. And this was a year ago. And so Love is Blind

has already, there was a season of Love is Blind that I was like looking for Ludo and he was like no it's next season so they shoot these things far in advance if you've seen a picture of zach now he looks like a caveman i mean this is a while ago this show happened so he sang a song to propose to irena and he said he said i wrote this song they cut out apparently they cut out the part where he said, this is a song that I rewrote. Like, he was like, it's a Ludo song and I wrote it for you.

Like, because he changed some words in it. So, like, the way that Weird Al would say, I wrote this song or something. You know, like, it was, yes, like, eat it. Yeah. And everyone got, I mean, Ludo fans. I mean, it was a whole thing. Tim got, like, interviewed by publications about, like about this guy lying, say he wrote your song. And he was like, no, the producers knew it was our song.

He had said it was our song. Zach even claims they cut out the part where I was like, this is a Ludo song that I wrote the lyrics to. Or he was just nervous about to propose, and he was like, I wrote this song. You know what I'm saying? I don't think he was a bad guy. But it was so funny that he sang. He butchered a Ludo song. So if you hear that song, it's nothing like Ludo.

That was hard to watch. Because you know that Irina on the other side has no capacity to empathize. She got a clue. That was her first clue. This guy might not be what I think he is. Because spoiler alert irena does not is not attracted to zach she when she sees him she is gross she he's a wreck to her she is noah she does not like him at all and it shows on her body like in her body language right away

but i think that song was the first time that she was like, this is a little cringe. But he was about to propose. So it was like, I'll let this go. It was going on a little long. The other worst part of the show for me, I don't even want to talk about it, was when Kwame and Chelsea sang together. That stupid song, I'm looking for the real thing. I don't want the real thing. They're perfect for each other because she's like, oh my God, this is incredible.

Do you think that was real? Yes. I thought she, because she talks about it later to her parents of like, he sang the song, we wrote the song together. Wow.

It was the worst song I've ever heard. It was, it made me, I thought Chelsea was going to go, I'm done. But instead she's sobbing because it's so good. I love that there's a pot for every lid a lid for every pot like I if someone would sing that horrible song

to me and say that they're a guitar player and clearly they're not like I mean I'm not I'm someone who's bad at guitar I would never be like I play guitar I would at least like say I suck but I kind of can do some stuff he's like like, yeah, I play. And he's just like hitting these basic chords. It's not even good. There's no like it was bad, but she was eating it up. So it's like it's nice that two dorks can find each other like this. In his defense, when I was in New York many years ago, I was a contestant potentially. I was a potential contestant on a reality dating show.

Wait, dating around? It was like a game show situation. I didn't make it on the show, but it was a game show situation where a guy would go up in front of 100 women and then they would start asking you questions and then the women would buzz if they don't want to date you anymore.

And the goal was you need to have at least one woman left at the end of them getting to know you you get up there there's like a noise violation that would be fun so they asked me like do you have any special skills and um i said i play piano but i don't play that well and i can't imagine if I went on the show and I actually had to play the piano that it would have gone any better than what happened with Kwame. But he had the confidence of someone who was good at playing guitar and good at writing songs. And it was that was what bothered me about it. And it was a bad song. I just hated it.

That's when I wanted to cry. OK, back to questions. Brian, what's the weirdest item you keep by your bed? By my bed? Besides your fiance who's not in bed with you and is in a separate bed across the house. Or your dog, Jack. He's like my scream pillow.

Well, recently I got this black tourmaline stone. So this is a stone that absorbs negative energy. Yeah, I'm not really like a stones guy, but I have a stone. More of the Beatles? Yeah, I definitely am more of a Beatles. Nikki, a tourmaline stone is what I bought a guy that I

liked a lot and couldn't stop giving gifts to. Oh no! That was so bad! I'd be like in mexico the same guy i bought the rug for in mexico i was like also i found a tourmaline stone because he once said he had a bunch of negative energy around him and i was like i got this from mohawk do you believe in them no when you're when you're desperate you'll believe in anything so when i was heartbroken i had so much rose quartz shoved up my vagina or wherever that i was like okay whatever

you guys tell me to do yeah yeah that's a good point that's so funny about him terminally where do you think he's he has that now do you think he still has it in his life it's where the mexican rug is somewhere in storage unit in hoboken yeah yeah god it's and for those of you who don't know what we're talking about girls do not give men gifts before they're before they're in love with you but bliss baked cupcakes for zach and she didn't get picked i think that works in reverse too i think it's's for men. Don't get women gifts before, before you're a thing. I mean,

there's nothing that looks more desperate than a man. Like if you don't, don't show up to a first date with flowers, don't be like the second date. Like, Oh, you mentioned that you like, you know,

uh, puzzles. But for some reason we do it because we think it'll get people to like us more. And again, it doesn't like no gift no matter how much she needs it or wants it like don't do it because it just makes you look servile and weak and for a girl to do that for a guy it really i don't know what it biologically does to a man noah or um any, do you know why giving a gift to a guy repels them?

He was repelled anyway. But yeah, I think I don't know if guys get repelled by it necessarily. Well, that's what Dr. Pat Allen says. Don't buy them gifts. So what's the logic behind that? Do you know? Behind not getting them stuff? Yes.

Before you're in love. It's mommy-ish, she says. It's mother-ish. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, it's a turn off, I think, because moms take care of you and bake you things and make your lunch. The guy actually wants to nurture,

which is- Can you tie their shoes before you're in love? And wipe them? I have a theory that if you get someone a gift early on, that puts you in a lesser position than the other person. And it's just a sign that things are not going well. Like you're in a desperate position. They're not balanced.

You're trying to balance it by showering them with gifts. And that just already means that this is not working. Oops. Pat Allen says, guys. with gifts and that just already means that this is not working oops pat allen says guys she says it's you're robbing a guy of the opportunity to court and he wants to woo you and part of wooing is gifts later or like taking you to dinner yeah i don't know that it really yeah i think that's a good point i think we forget that men like the chase, even though no one seems to really like the chase. You like to earn things when, when,

um, you know, like the whole Osempic thing, I just want to give a statement on Osempic real quick in the middle of this questions, because I, I've been meaning to do this for a couple episodes and I keep forgetting. So it came up,

people are mad about, even I was like, I see there's a certain celebrity who lost a lot of weight recently and you can tell she's someone that has been struggling to be thin her maybe her entire career and suddenly she's thin and um and everyone you know in her comments always writes ozempic ozempic like oh oh oh ozempic like they're just just bullying her about it and i and i was thinking about it and i go and even i have this thing of like, oh, she just uses Ozempic and like mad about it. How really is that different? Cause,

cause what people will argue when they say Ozempic is bad is that it's bad for you. She's going about the unhealthy way of losing weight, right? When really you're just jealous you don't have Ozempic or that you aren't doing it. Like you're jealous that someone has a shortcut to look good. That's what we're really jealous about. Let's be honest with ourselves. Don't couch this whole I don't like Ozempic because I'm worried about their health. You don't give a fuck about another woman's health. I just don't believe it. What you are are jealous. This is for me, at least. I'm jealous that someone's doing a shortcut thing and I want to be able to do that

shortcut. I don't want to work out and diet and exercise and all these things or have a spiritual connection with God and my body and forgive myself and forgive my parents and work through trauma to process my food addiction or whatever is making me the weight I don't want to be. I just want to take Ozempic and I'm jealous. Now, if you really are worried about these women's weight, why is it then that when they work out and they diet and they starve themselves and they fit into these little dresses, we all go, good for them. They did it. Because you know what? It's the same. It's just as unhealthy as Ozempic.

You're not worried about their health. You are just jealous that they did the fast track. And you know what? I'm kind of happy for these people that have Ozempic. There are some people who being a thin, and let's be honest, being a thin person gets you things in this world. There is completely bias and a completely, um, bias and discrimination against fat people. It's just as a thing, there's no denying it. I'm not saying anything outrageous here. So for someone who's always struggled with their weight to always feel like, man, if I just got thin, I would be, I would have this new kind of life. I would have,

um, it would just life would be easier i'm happy that these people have something now that they can take and i know that there are negative side effects you like puke your brains out or you get really sick or you diarrhea forever um and also people are saying oh people with actual diabetes can't get the medication are you really worried about people with diabetes not getting their medication i don't think you are i think you're jealous that someone has a shortcut and they're gonna be thin but i'm already thin i'm not jealous well i think you're jealous that other people are gonna be thin too and rob you of some of your little thin privilege that's what i think and that is my final statement on ozempic take ozempic i don't give a fuck i'm happy that you have finally something that is going to get you

the thing that you think is going to make your life happy even though you're going to realize every problem that you have is still on the other side when you're thin but there is no question that your life will be different as a thin person because our society is so discriminatory against fat people so i'm there's i've changed my whole outlook i used to like hate people that use ozempic i was judgmental i was just like oh she just used ozempic and I would just like zoom in I would send it to Anya and be like look at ozempic another ozempic ozempic but I'm jealous isn't that part of the fun to be like look at the ozempic yes I love judging people let me ask you this and I love writing people's hard work off and guess what ozipic costs a thousand

like thirteen hundred dollars a month you telling me that's not hard work to earn that kind of money and to shoot yourself in the stomach and puke your brains out and fart and diarrhea everywhere all month they should share that okay sorry they didn't do the tracy anderson method they're both their mistake is they needed to share she's. I'm sure she's doing that too. That's how you get not, that's how you not, it's showing up skinny and being like,

I'm skinny now without showing the work. I think that's why people like working out. They want to see you puke and diarrhea and be like, I'm having such a hard time. And then you can say, I'm skinny.

And then people will appreciate. And then people will go, she worked for it. She earned it. But just know that people on Ozempic are shitting their pants. They have to wear a diaper with that size two dress.

It's not a good, I mean, I don't think it's always like that for everyone, but I've read enough about it to see if I should try it, that it is not fun. First of all, you have to stab yourself in the stomach with a needle once in a while.

It's like, this is not fun. So let's cut these people some slack if they are using Ozempic. And if they're not telling us the whole story, what's fucking new with Hollywood? You know, or do you think that everyone's telling the whole truth about what they do for their hair, for their skin, for their like nails? They're all lying to you about everything. So this is just one more thing they're lying about. Except the housewives that are like, yeah, I'm on Ozempic.

We all are. I'm not going to show up to this, yeah, I'm on Ozempic. We all are. I'm not going to show up to this reunion fat. I got on Ozempic as fast as I could. That's what one recently said. Yeah. She was like, yeah, I was the last one to get on it because I didn't want to show up at this thing fat and everyone else is thin. She goes, I go to dinner with these girls. No one eats anymore.

We just don't eat anymore. They, you know, they're saving money on the green rooms for these reunions. But I just had this realization though of like so much of my judgment and i've said it a million times it always stems from a jealousy of the they even nepotism people so mad about nepo babies what are they supposed to do what are they supposed to do if they want to be an actress and their parents are actresses what do you just not do it and also i'm jealous they have a they have a leg up and they were born with probably good acting genetics as well that probably constitutes a good reason which to me constitutes a good reason why they should have a foot in the door already like if your

parents are both actors you're probably going to be a good actor you should get an audition for the role and it just you know all these things that we let me ask you this fast tracks it's like if you just gel so for so in the comedy world you know we've all done open mics then worked our way up and slogged for years and years well comedy is a meritocracy how do you feel about somebody who got on t in 2020, gained a million followers and now is getting spots at the comedy store without having done stand up for more than like a year or two? How could you blame them? How could you blame them? They grew. I, you know, I'm jealous because they got on TikTok.

They did a fast track. And by the way, they're not going to be good at stand up. They're going to get good because they're going to, they did a fast track. And by the way, they're not going to be good at standup. They're going to get good because they're going to get the spots and everything, but they're not going to be good until they put in the 10 years of stage time that they could probably fast track in five years with their work ethic.

But the fact that they blew up on TikTok is not their fault, is not something they could control. It's luck. And obviously something, they hit on something that I you know I'm always kind of shitting on people that are on TikTok or famous on there um or at least I used to now I really see it as like that's a talent I that I don't have I don't I just don't have it in me to to get on TikTok and do those things and so I can't begrudge them but is it stand-up no do they have an opportunity to become a very good stand-up quicker than most people?

Yes. And they probably will. But getting good at stand-up, I mean, you can't fast-track that. Do you guys ever get bummed out about these people that do get big on the internet, and then now they're selling out shows in theaters, but then you watch clips of theirs, and you can see they're just not objectively funny they're not they're just they have a good personality but these jokes aren't good but then do you ever wonder like oh wow this is diluting people's idea of what is actually funny yes remember that movie i went to go see and i couldn't leave yes but i wanted to so badly

because it made me disgusted with where we are comedically. Yeah. I feel that way all the time. But then, you know, here's a prime example. I put this on my Instagram. You might have seen me bitching about it. You know the new Barbie trailer? Did anyone see that? Everyone's talking about it. There's this one shot where Barbie takes her foot out of a heel, right?

And her foot stays the shape of the Barbie foot, pointed, right? And she walks around. And you can see that she's maybe gonna walk around and it's gonna... And people are losing their goddamn minds over this. They love it. People are like,

I will... This has changed my life. This has changed the topography of my subdivision. People are like... People can't... I mean, there was this whole... There were a couple days,

I don't know if you saw it, in social media it's all a marketing campaign by the barbie movie by the way they said we'll pay these influencers to lose their mind about how genius this that we kept her foot that way and the barbie movie if you've heard anything no one knows anything about it there's no trailer beyond that so the only thing they're giving you is this one joke it's not that good of a joke you could think of it person who's never done comedy in your life a barbie's if we make a barbie movie let's maybe make her foot like the foot even let me let me make another guess about this yeah it's it's just exactly that's what barbie's feet are like let me guess barbie's gonna get some point in the movie to have someone give her a tampon and say, where am I going to put this? No, there's no way it's going to be that funny.

Or someone's going to be like, or there's going to be like a baby nursing and she's going to be like, I don't have a nipple. We're going to see. And people are going to go, oh, my God. They're going to be like Chelsea listening to Kwame singing. Yes. Or it's like come on everyone let's get real how can you think that is so funny do it that's what i wrote on my story was have you guys seen veep how are you alive if you are losing your fucking mind because this barbie foot thing how do you survive an episode of veep without just running into traffic it's so i mean it's so brilliant because veep is the funniest show that's ever been let's toss in 30 rock let's toss in arrested development um these are the

these are the top-notch comedy like let's say the the funniest things that aren't like too cerebral I mean Veep can be but um that it does make me worried when I see how low the bar is but then I go but then I love it because I'm like I I already think I'm low bar sometimes where I watch John Mulaney and I go what the fuck am I even doing you know like this is just so precisely written and every word is chosen specifically to make this bit is essentially word. I don't know. It's just so good that I feel like, what am I doing? And then I'll watch someone doing crowd work at New York Comedy Club in a clip. And I go and it has like a million views.

And I go, OK, well, I'm better than that. So this is, that makes me feel good sometimes. As a musician, do you feel that way, Anya? About musicians that like, you are like, this person sucks. Don't you realize, don't you think they're gonna be found out? It's just gonna be a one hit wonder

and they're gonna be found. That's what I always think of. People are gonna, you know. I think I'm in a cynical place in life where I'm like, I don't get so much of what's radically popular and just like objectively popular that maybe I'm just fringe

and I'll just stay over in my area listening to the stuff I like to listen to. But the most important thing is to be true to yourself. You know, like. Right. As long as I'm authentic and making music i like that's cool but when i start writing like when i spent a lot of time in nashville writing for other people and with other people i was like i can only do this for a short amount

of time before i start feeling like my soul is dying a little bit and um you know i can write a pop song i don't enjoy it though like i just tend to enjoy stuff that's a little different if you could write a pop song i mean i don't know though. Like I just tend to enjoy stuff. That's a little different. If you could write a pop song, I don't know if you had the choice, if the devil came to you and said, you're going to write a pop song, it's going to be like this, the most basic pop song,

but it's going to give you 10 million fans. And then would you take that choice? And then, but then people would be always demanding that pop song. Only if, only if someone else would sing it so you don't want to sing a pop song? no

really? I don't want to not if I don't like I've written songs, I've released songs that are poppy and people like but I find myself going I don't feel like singing that

like some other guy wrote this he wrote 75% of it. So I'm not connected to it. And I noticed that. And I'm like, I just don't want to do that again. It not that I regret it. It was fun. And I think those songs are great. And people relate to them. But I really enjoy playing and singing stuff that I wrote and came up. Yeah, I think that that's a common thing in comedy that takes so long to weed out because you start from a place of what do other people want to hear? Whereas I think musicians,

a lot of times start from, I mean, I can't speak to it, but I think you start from, musicians are just so soulful and are so compelled to get what is happening in their hearts out. I just feel like comedians are more just like your frontal cortex of like just thoughts

and like they don't they aren't trying to convey a feeling, whereas musicians have feelings that need to get out. So they they start writing from a place that's more authentic than comedians do, whereas I think comedians eventually end up more authentic once they find their voice. But they struggle in the beginning and you try to just give people what they want like no one knows how to be good at comedy right away no one really nails their voice right away i think what's so cool about what you guys do is that you you are so like the greatest comedians that i enjoy are the ones that really speak from their own unique perspective which is often so weird

but they're like they can't help it they're just like saying what is and those are the people i think are you know the best like you do that um i think amy does that she has such a unique voice um just people that like a tell and like i just saw jim norton over the weekend and i was fucking blown away he was talking about his trans girlfriend and living with her and he's like i hate liberals i hate trumpers but i kind of see both sides and it was like he completely connected everyone in the room we were so on board and i was like at one point i'm thinking like this guy needs to run for president like he's just making sense but, but he's like speaking from the heart and he has such a weird, unique perspective

he's coming from. Jim Norton is the first comedian. It's funny you bring him up when we're talking about like knowing yourself and writing from a true place. He's the first comedian that I ever heard talk about like being molested maybe or like doing weird sex stuff as a kid he had this joke called or like story about called monster rain and that he would share on obi and anthony show

this was 2004 when i heard this and it blew my mind that he admitted to as a kid he would play a game called monster rain with and he's a straight man. He dates trans women, I believe. But he's not – I don't think he – I mean I don't know what he's into. It doesn't matter. But it was the first time that a guy that I assumed was straight shared a story of blowing another boy underneath a deck because they would say it was monster rain and they would run under this like porch and they would blow each other and i couldn't believe that he was on this really hyper masculine show opie and anthony admitting to this and it was

it yes i could not believe i loved it because it grossed me out like it disturbed me but it was so honest it was like unapologetic not that. It disturbed me, but it was so honest. It was unapologetic. Not that he would need to apologize, but it was just so cool to me. It was authentic. It was authentic. And he's a good person at heart. I don't want to hear someone be authentic and a bad person.

Andrew Tate is not an authentic person, but he's just like pure evil. I don't really, I don't want to hear his authentic side either. But Jim Norton's a good person. I want to, no matter what his thoughts are, I want to hear them

because at the baseline, I know he's like kind of a good person. You know? Yeah. Totally. So, okay, we have more questions

for Brian when we get back and I also have to talk about my Taylor Swift experience and just all the Taylor Swift news that's going on. So we'll finish up Brian when we get back. And I also have to talk about my Taylor Swift experience and just all the Taylor Swift news that's going on. So we'll finish up questions when we get back and talk all about Taylor. Stay here. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's

news and pop culture you get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment politics sports and more from john and the team of correspondents and contributors the podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines listen to the daily show ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Alright, Brian. Besides Wallet Keys

iPhone, what is always in your fanny pack? Chapstick. No, I don't use chapstick. Oh, good. Okay. I don't know why I said good. I don't want no girly boys putting on lipstick on my show. I have a little vial of Advil pills. Okay. I've got a little vial of...

No one got a kick out of that. Well, you know, it's a little tube. Of course you do's a tube yeah i like those little tubes you gotta have a tube i have a tube i have dramamine and zyrtec um i have a hand wait why dramamine what are you going on boats often or you get car sick i use it on the plane i'll use it on the plane um i'll use it okay remember But just in your panty pack day to day, just in case you get invited. Yes. Yes. Well, you know, I don't want to, I want to have it all in there just to feel secure that I'll have it when I need it.

Okay. I have my key. I have my hand sanitizer, little bottle hands, which is great for the gas station. And a little headphones, headphones in a little, in a little ziploc bag do you have um uh airpods no i have wired head i'm i want wires you want a wire okay the amount of times i've seen someone's ear pods fall off and fall on the dirty ground and then they have to pick it up and then they get an ear infection like me yeah it's happened it's happened yeah um what i will say is that i was in la a couple weeks ago and i went to the bathroom and i came out of the bathroom and there were two air pods on the floor loose two air pods

i went into the bathroom they were not there i was alone in a bathroom it was like they fell out of nowhere they're right in front of my stall on the floor i pick them up i'm looking for the case because it looks like the case fell and they flew the case is nowhere to be found i check every stall i walk out into the lobby and i decide i'm gonna keep these i'm not gonna because i go chris i got airpods and he was like you should you should give them to the front desk and i'm like i don't think anyone's coming back for these and i got an empty case at home and i know that you can just like switch them out now what you can do with i have so many pairs of airpods i know that you can they can go to sleep in different little um airpod homes like in the cases but you cannot have a left airpod and a right airpod from separate airpods and

combine them to make one but you can switch them out to different homes so i have tons i've lost airpods before so i have tons of these little you know the little um floss containers they look like flosses and so i took them home they're they they belong to a woman named grace and she's still tracking them i get info on my phone all the time that says grace is tracking them can i just say i've never used these air pods except one time at the taylor swift concert because i forgot um headphones or i forgot forgot earplugs. And so I was either going to go deaf. Or I was like, you know what? I'm going to use these. So I put them in my ears.

And I kind of wiped them off on my shirt. So, you know, they were clean. And then I plugged them in when I got home. And it came up. So if Grace is listening. If you lost your AirPods at the Lowe's Live in L.A. in the bathroom a few weeks ago. I will send them to you. I feel bad that I have them.

I'm not using them. I'm going to give them to Taylor, who is a friend that doesn't care about stolen merchandise. Because I'm scared that she's going to track me down and murder me. Because they can still track them. Wow. If she's still tracking them, that's a lot. If anyone knows a Grace in L.A. that was at a hotel, Lowe's Live. She anyone knows a Grace in LA that was at a hotel, Lowe's Live.

She could be from anywhere because it was at a hotel. I should have, this is, I learned my lesson. I thought I was going to get away with something and be able to use, when her name showed up,

I was like, this is someone's. I can't use these. I shouldn't do it. You know, it was tempting and I could use them. So is she getting alerts

that they're in St. Louis? Yes, for sure. I'm sure she's fascinated by it. Just like you would be. Just like anyone would be like, who's this fucking bitch stole my fucking phones? And so I'm. Like when your brother-in-law tracked his stolen car. Yes.

So I'm giving them to Taylor because I do not want these. What is it called when they, what do they have on them when they're stolen? People say the hot. They're hot. I don't want these hot headphones. I got to get rid of them. So I learned my lesson. I'm always going to bring them to the front desk.

Okay. Let's talk about Taylor Swift. Can we? Why don't we start off with me going to her concert? This was, I would have talked about it last week on the show because it happened two Sundays ago. But here we are. We had last week off. So for all the Swifties that want to know what it was like.

So I flew from a girls trip that we had in Palm Springs, which was very fun. There are many stories from that, which will obviously leak out throughout the episodes on this show. Because Noah and Anya were both there. It was so much fun, right? So fun. Yes. So fun. So I flew out.

We did Thursday through Sunday there. Oh, God. And then Sunday, I flew from Palm Springs to Dallas. I'm flying to Dallas. I land at 4. The concert, I have to be there at like 6. And I'm staying three-minute walk from the venue. It's pretty much right there.

I'm staying at a Lowe's Live that is right next to the venue. Right. So exciting. This is going to be easy. I have a whole outfit planned. If you are if you know it's like Halloween when you go to a Taylor Swift show as a Swifty. You have to like dress up like her and sparkles like thematically like you don't have to but it's just fun.

You just have to wear sparkles. That's pretty much it. Or like some version of some of her era. So I had a whole. That's what much it. Or like some version of some of her era. So I had a whole. That's what Brian did at Creed. I dressed up as a priest. So you should be glad that girl didn't show up. And we'll see that.

So I get I'm flying there. I wake up on the plane to us being diverted to Houston because of strong winds. And I'm like, I've never had a plane diverted. Of course, it's this day. But I'm just like, you know what? I'm a lucky person. Things work out for me. It's fine.

So we land in Houston. We get fueled up and we take off like an hour later. And now I am landing an hour before she goes on stage. And we land, get to the baggage claim. And then the baggage claim is saying that they're gonna take 45 minutes for bags because of wind conditions. And I've never heard of a delay on bags

because of wind, but that was happening. So now it's putting me at 15 minutes until she walks on stage. I still have to take a 20 minute Uber to the hotel check-in. I have to change still. I have to shower. I wanted to like do so many things.

I wanted to paint my nails. All of these things were falling away as I was getting closer to the time and by the way I was going with a fan I was going with a bestie named Brooke um shout out Brooke you're amazing she made it so simple for me she just gave me a ticket she didn't even charge me for it which was so nice she texted me that she was in the merch line which are notoriously long and she was like do you want me to get you something I was like of course and i'll venmo you back so she got me a shirt it was so nice so so so nice and she's like i hope you make it and she brought me a water from the vip room like she like she was so sweet and so cool i at this point realize now the bags i am definitely going to miss the opening and at least maybe a couple songs so i'm in in the Uber, the back of it, changing furiously into my dress,

trying not for the driver to see me. I'm putting on the boots. I'm doing my makeup. My hair has not been washed in two days. So I was going to do this whole thing with it pinned behind my ears like she looked in the Bejeweled video because my dress is kind of an homage

to what she wore in the Bejeweled video. Not getting any of that done. I'm doing like a winged eyeliner in the back of this Uber. It is smudging. I look insane. I'm just like feeling pale. I wanted to do a spray tan. I'm like, I never wear dresses and expose my legs if I don't get to spray tan. I just feel it's, think about the one thing that can make you feel the most disgusting, and that's what it is for me. I would rather be unshowered for a week than, because at least I'd have some dirt on me that would look like spray tan

than to have just my pale legs. I just can't have it, you guys. I don't know why. And so, but I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to be pale tonight. No one's going to see me. No one's looking at me. It doesn't matter.

So I get to the hotel and the show is about to start in five minutes now, but I'm three minutes away and I'm already dressed. I just have to go into the bathroom, touch up my makeup, and then run over there. I get to the hotel. I check in. We don't have your name here,

and I'm like, that's weird because I am definitely staying here, and she's like, sorry, you're not in the system, and then I go, look, here's the reservation. No, honey, you're staying at the W. That's 16 miles away, and I'm like, what? So my assistant, Jen Jen who is fucking incredible and never misses a beat and we're all allowed to make mistakes got the got the arena confused because Taylor Swift was at the AT&T arena and she thought it was the American

Airlines arena the AA arena the Alcoholics An Arena, which are two huge arenas in Dallas. And so she got me a hotel three minutes from that arena. And so I'm across. And so the sweet woman at the Lowe's front desk, Lowe's Live, again, in Dallas, in Arlington, she was like, just store your bags here. I go, I'm not staying. I'm not even staying here. She goes, it's fine.

Just come back after the show. So I like you are amazing thank you so much that is so kind and so i'm giving i'm getting the bag tags and then i'm like i'm just gonna do use this one bag i'm gonna come right back i just have to touch up my makeup so i run to the bathroom as i'm running to the bathroom one of the valet guys who saw me who sprint in in like a rush and go where's the arena how far is it walking he's like it's not three minutes walking it's 15 minutes walking and i'm like oh my god because the other one was three minutes from the aa arena so that makes sense so he comes in as i'm sprinting to the bathroom he stops and he goes do you want to ride over there? I got the shuttle bus. And I go, where the fuck am I?

Like, did I die? Is this heaven? Because I've never had customer service in a place I'm actually a customer of. I'm not even a customer here. And I go, yes, I would love that. So I go in, touch up my makeup. I run into a Swifty in there that was at the show the night before. And she was like, oh, my God, it's amazing.

I'm like, I'm missing it right now because I have to do my eyeliner. So I run out. And you know that thing where you're already late so you're just like you go slower for some reason does that i know it's a meme i've seen why you're like i just was like you know what you know it's it's fine it's just gonna be the way it is things work out for me i'm a lucky person so i get in the shuttle the guy is so nice i'm riding front seat in this like airport shuttle he drops me off right outside the arena it is dead quiet outside this there is not a single person in the parking lot i mean this is and this is two minutes after the show started at this point there is no everyone is inside not it's like there's like dust bunnies or what are they called those little

tumbleweed i mean it is i could not believe how desolate it was it was so nuts there was no one there not even security so i walk in and i easily walk in the merch they're they're complaining about like hours long merch lines there's no one at the merch if you want to get merch on taylor swift show just go while she's opening the show there's no one there there's no one at concessions there's nobody i was totally alone and then i'm running around trying to run to my seat i get to my seat i i get there for lover i walk in as lovers playing i think it's the fourth song she does on her set list so i've already missed three songs oh wow that's not bad not bad i did want to see the opening because it's insane, the opening.

I can't even tell you how excited I am about the opening because they just – they're these guys that come out with these big like feather fan things, like huge, like a story – two stories high. And they're like waving these big – I don't know. They're like flags. And then they put them in the center. And then you hear echoes of all of her different eras coming out. And then she goes, it's been a long time coming, but,

and they lift it up and she's like right there. And then she starts off with Mrs. Americana and the Heartbreak Prince, which Swifties, no one could have predicted she would open with that. But it makes sense. It's been a long time coming. She had to cancel Love Her Tour. We haven't seen her on stage since 2018 this is very exciting so i missed that and that's fine i also missed um you need to calm down lover and the archer but then i go i get there for lover i'm running through i'm not even seeing lover i'm just

seeing her on the screen and i see it for the first time on the screen because i can hear it but then i see it and I start crying immediately because I she's just so beautiful and like I'm so excited because she's like there even though I'm looking at a screen I mean it's no different than if you were watching it live at home on TikTok or whatever but I'm like I'm that's the irony of going to concerts is like it's real it's like you're watching a screen the entire time though you're not like looking at her unless you're up front get to my seats pretty good seats I would prefer to look at the screen than her. I could see her, but she's tiny, tiny. And I just can't get out of my head. I'm not kidding you. I could not, I could not enjoy it the way I

thought I was going to enjoy it. I will say to you, and this is no fault of Brooke. It is no, and I don't want, it would pain me to think that Brooke thinks I didn't have fun. I had such a good time, but I couldn't stop worrying about my life. I was worried about a terrorist attack happening. I was picturing a plane just going like, and then I was like, well, if you die here,

this is like where you'd want to die like you would die with taylor swift like okay sign me up that that sounds like i'm a crazy fan that's gonna do something but i mean like i was like i hope she survived it i would want to die i didn't you know but i was just thinking of like the mayhem that would happen of all these screaming girls trying to get out if there was like a fire or explosion i mean i was thinking horrible thoughts oh my god really yeah because i've always been that way as a kid. When I would go to big events, I would think about fires or like bombs or planes crashing.

This is before September 11th. Like I never feel safe when there's thousands of people in one place. I just feel like it's just, it doesn't, and I'm not wrong to not feel that great because they are the targets of terrorist attacks. I mean, if you want to get as many people as possible, you pick a place where they're all congregated together in a small space. It makes sense.

So I'm in there thinking like a terrorist, just like this would be perfect and trying to enjoy it. I can't. I swear to you, I am more present with her music when I am like driving with a dog in my lap and one AirPod in listening to like a voice memo and then her song in the background. Like it was that much going on in my head. And I was then I'm disappointed in myself. Why can't I get present? Why can't I enjoy this? Nikki, this is your favorite song. until August, which the song August, which was honestly probably 30 songs in for me to feel like a Swifty,

to feel like my inner, like the joy come out of me. And then it went away after August. I don't know why, it went away again. And then it came back for Karma at the very end. But I like only had like three songs where I really felt like what I was going to feel like the entire time. Do you know what I'm saying?

And it was such a disappointment to myself. Then I go home after the show and I'm honestly in acceptance of it because I'm like, you know what? This is great because now I know what the show is. I didn't get to see the whole show. There's still more for me to see in the future. And I leave and I walk over back to the Lowe's and I wait there for like two hours for the traffic to clear out before I can catch an Uber.

And they open the streets for Ubers. And I'm sitting there and I'm thinking about it. I'm like, you know, this was meant to be. It was always meant to go this way. I'm like, there's just – what was off for me? I go back to my hotel 16 miles away and I'm just like kind of bummed that I squandered this amazing experience. And then a few days later, um, I remember where I was. I, it was April 8th. I am on my couch, uh, Friday night, I believe it

was. And I am, uh, getting ready to watch. What did I watch that was and I am uh getting ready to watch what did I watch that night I think I started watching the Waco documentary something was happening and um I look at my phone final thought I look at my phone and I see a alert like on Instagram I guess it's a picture of Joe Alwyn and, and Taylor Swift. And it says, it has like a split down the middle. And I gasped. It was the same spot I was in when I found out Bob Saget died. I'm just gonna say like, it was the same place on my couch. Like, things happen in that place. And I know I'm not comparing his death to them breaking up. But am I? Because it honestly, I don't know why. And I know it's because of my parasocial

relationship and I'm fucking crazy and Swifties are dumb. And don't you know that she doesn't know you and she doesn't, you don't really know her and all this stuff. I know that. I know it's insane. But I felt so sad. And I was texting people right away about it and I kept saying you know it feels like one of my best friends split up with their fiance like it feels like Anya and Matt split up but I gotta say it feels worse because no offense no offense no it's it's that would make me feel terrible but it's different it's not it's different. It isn't that close. That's not the thing. Not that it feels worse.

It feels much different than that. That would make me sad on so many different levels because I love Matt and it would mean he's less than my life. And it would mean that you're sad, like all these things. But there are only – there are like three songs that you wrote about Matt that like I – and when I sing those for whatever reason and listen to them, I don't think about Matt. I don't know. Maybe it's just too close for me to think about him. But I think about Joe when I sing these songs. And like I don't know what it is, but I know that I'm not alone because people were freaking out and I was not the only one.

And I've – and this is why I think this is all connected. I have a sense that she was kind of sad that night and I think I picked up on it. And I'm not trying to toot my own horn like I'm some kind of empath or I'm so in tune with Taylor Swift. There was – and it was nothing she did. The concert was amazing. She was in a good mood. She was being silly. She was being funny.

She seemed like, on all accounts, there was just something that I go, maybe that's what I was picking up on because I just couldn't get into it. They said that she changed the set. She did. Was that on your tour?

Yeah. Well, she had done it a night before. She changed the song. In that on your tour? Yeah, they said that. Well, she had done it a night before. She changed the song. Invisible String to The One. Now, Invisible String is all about how her and Joe were always meant to be together. And there was always an invisible string tying you to me. And it's all about how like it's just this beautiful song about like when you were doing this i was here this is how our cross paths throughout our life and finally we meet and then the one is about um is about when you break up with someone and you like are still thinking

about them and you're like i'm doing good i'm on some new shit having adventures on my own uh and then he she goes i hear you met some woman on the internet and take her home and she's just imagining what he's up to and it's like she changed that it's the only thing on her 45 song set list that she's changed and um so there are people speculating like why that happened i think it was just maybe more of a change of like i just want to sing this song more than this song but why would you want to sing about a guy a song that is so much about the guy you just broke up with um and um and then she so this weekend was just like first of all a lot of swifties freak out at first and then we we were all like well it's not she

hasn't confirmed it you know this is just et it was like a rumor from et um entertainment tonight which some people were saying how did that fucking alien know about this shit they were like posting pictures of et being like that roman being like well they haven't confirmed for sure yes yes roman on succession yes spoiler alert yes he also could not believe what was true but we also there's been so many rumors about them getting married being pregnant breaking up and like so it's been they've been together six years which in taylor swift dating times and i'm not saying this because she's a serial dater i'm that's no judgment about her being that famous and that under scrutiny and dating someone for

six years i'm honestly it's like a hundred years and And I'm not exaggerating. I think it's, that is an impossibility. Like your grandparents that were married for 60 years, like and went through wars together, doesn't compare to Taylor Swift with a six year relationship. It doesn't, it's just, it's impossible. And she sacrifices so much to be the artist that people like me want her and need her to be.

And I'm just really grateful that she keeps putting out music and doesn't go away because she could because she actually played the song at the show that I went to. And she has two songs during her set list that she plays that she gets to do acoustically and they're secret songs. And so no one knows what she's going to play. And she takes requests from her friends and, and every song is different they're not she's never gonna repeat one of the one of the song on the tour unless she fucks it up but she did fuck up one a couple nights ago she's gonna repeat that one so you know she's doing like 40 cities so that's like 80 plus songs of new including the 44 that she's playing in the song 45 in the set list.

So, but one of the songs she played was the lucky one. And she introed it at my show with saying, this is a song about how horrible it is to be famous. And she was kind of saying it like sarcastically, like, oh, when, when she's like, how horrible it is to be famous. But the song, if you hear it, it really really and she wrote this on red which is like five albums ago so this is very this is 2012 ish when she wrote the song and it was the song is about she's uh she's new to town with a made-up name in the land of angels seeking fortune and fame and uh everyone's lining up to like get a place in line and to become a star. And then the next verse is like,

you had it figured out since you were in school. Everybody loves pretty. Everybody loves cool. So overnight you look like a 60s queen. And so like you just transform yourself to fit in. And then you're famous. And then the pre-chorusorus is like another name goes up in lights i wonder if i'll make it out alive and so then at the end the the bridge is um uh when i

first moved to town i i heard about you it's it's not these aren't the lyrics but it's like um it's about this woman she's like um oh god what is the lyric it's about a woman. She's like, oh God, what is the lyric? It's about a woman that came to town that she, oh, people still speak the legend of how you disappeared, how you took the money and your dignity and got the hell out. You, you said you, someone said you bought a bunch of land somewhere,

chose the Rose garden over Madison square. And it took some time, but I'm getting chills and it took some time, but I'm getting chills. And it took some time, but I understand it now. And she goes, and now, because now my name is up in lights. And,

but I think you got it right. And so she's talking about this woman that like got out before, as it was because fame was so crushing and how everyone says of that woman, like, oh, she just wanted to go retire on a farm,

but she like, and then Taylorlor's saying like no you got it right like this is it is a huge sacrifice to be famous and it was and there was a sadness to her singing and i think there was that was a little foreshadowing and so when i was reading about the breakup which they got this from a source i don't know who that source is of course they don't tell is this people? I think it was one of the gremlins. Yeah. Yeah.

So the source said that it was Swift's superstardom that was a factor in the split. Joe has struggled with Taylor's level of fame and the attention from the public, adding that they've grown apart. And I'll add this to this and and everyone is saying swifties let me just say are saying that the statement from people magazine the source that the people magazine is probably taylor herself coming from her publicist tree pain because tree only deals with people magazine so if it comes from people it's probably taylor swift because people would not fracture that relationship by getting sources elsewhere so it probably was her fame and it became so overwhelming which it doesn't sound like she's saying he couldn't take

it he's just a little bitch and he was jealous or something it's like that amount of scrutiny and that amount of like you know your whole life is like you're just dating Taylor Swift you lose your identity in that um but I will say that um this sounds crazy but taylor swift before the pandemic had something like she had half the twitter follower or half the instagram followers she has now since folklore and evermore which gained her this like indie cred and people are actually like oh she's good she's doubled her fan base since covid so they started dating six years ago that was even pre-covid he went through the you know reputation tour he was on tour with her but this is she's at a new level that is just like it just out of control and noah and i were talking about this recent outfit she's been caught

in because she made her first public appearance she She had this weekend off, which was great because that's when the news broke that she was, you know, not with her boyfriend anymore. And she was spotted last night at dinner with Jack Antonoff at Via Corota, by the way. I was just there two nights ago. You were? Actually, I was there on Saturday night. She looks amazing. She was there what night? Sunday?

Last night. Oh, okay. Monday. She was there what night? Sunday? Last night. Oh, okay. Monday. She was there with Jackie Antonoff. And it's four minutes from Cornelia Street, which she has a song called Cornelia Street about Joseph that's like, if we don't make it, I'll never walk Cornelia Street again.

And everyone's saying, oh my God, she's not going to walk Cornelia Street again. But she was four minutes from it. Now, this is single girl summer outfit. Like Taylor Swift generally generally when she was with joe she would be spotted like hiking lulu lemon leggings baggy like flannels sweatshirts um and this outfit just screams to me sangle like it's off the shoulder black top there is a butterfly um embroidery like cut out on her leg which could just be like she likes butterflies i

mean i know she does she's a girly girl but it kind of noah pointed out like butterfly like awakening and then the transformation the last time we saw her in public it was the iheart awards that i was at does anyone remember what she was wearing there a hood a greenish sparkly hood, almost like a cocoon. I'm not kidding you. This girl, I'm like, she came out of her cocoon and she is sangle now. And it is, I mean, as soon as I saw that outfit, I was like, I don't need her to confirm verbally. This is confirmed. Taylor Swift is single. She's wearing heels and jeans and a cute outfit with a sparkly purse.

Like she looks so single. And I'm just excited about it. Yeah. Red lips. She just purse like she looks so single and um and i'm just excited about it yeah red lips she just looks she looks great and so but i will say and this is the final final thought is that on saturday i was really struggling with this information and i felt really stupid for feeling so upset about it and feeling emotional i had to like i was like emotionally eating over it was just not a good night on friday night and I'm obviously projecting my own stuff onto this but Saturday I went over to or I guess it was Sunday I went over to my parents house and for Easter and the kids were there and I was talking to my mom and I was like you know I bought tickets to go see Taylor on my week off she's going to

Houston which is where my plane was diverted to in the first place and so on my week off uh I'm I was like I bought it a single ticket to go see her on Saturday night and I was like and I think I want to go Sunday too but I just don't I don't know if I want to go two nights in a row alone my mom was like I'll go with you and I was like really and she's like I'll go and I was like because there are front row tickets available and you can only buy them in twos and I don't want to buy two and then not use the other one but I also want to go with someone who like will matter too and I was like but you're not gonna like the price mom because my mom does not like when I spend too much money on stupid things and I told her the price and she was like you can't and I go but it would be so fun

front row because I think that was something about the concert that I couldn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to because I wasn't like close to the action. Like I needed to be close. And so on Saturday night, I'm going fourth row down there. So that's nice. But then Sunday night, I did buy the tickets for me and my mom to go front row on Sunday night in Houston. And I will say that SeatGeek, if you buy tickets through them, you pay 40%, like literally 40% in fees.

And when you're spending thousands of dollars on tickets, 40% ends up being thousands of dollars. Like it's so nuts. Disgusting. I spent the most money I've ever spent on anything in my life outside of a you know I've never bought a car so you know outside of um no I think it's the most money I've ever spent in my entire life on anything on these two front row tickets but I reason because my sister was like god you could like send your kid to college for a semester at like a good school with that and I was like which I don't have and kid to college for a semester at like a good school with that and i was like which i don't have and this is what i get to do with it i don't and and

what do you get out of sending your kid to college them getting a drinking problem and calling late at night and asking you to put more money in their account like and worrying about them constantly and them having a degree that's worthless in the real world. At least I get something out of this. So I feel really good about my purchase. I'm going to go to that show with my mom and it's going to be the best night of my life and hopefully make eye contact with Taylor and have her go, what are you doing here?

Like, that's my dream. Thank you. That's so cool. I'm proud of you. That'll be exciting. And I loved you explaining to me uh the other day we were texting and i was asking like why is this breakup so significant to people help me understand but it totally made sense when you were talking about how you connect to the

songs and that like it sort of fractures something in the way you experience the songs because you always experience the songs thinking about those two people. Yeah, I think it's, and it really, I think a lot of celebrity relationships, people do this where they go, this means love is dead. If this can't work, then what is love?

And it kind of felt that way. I mean, there were a lot of Swifties saying like, hey, you guys, like really being supportive of each other on Reddit, saying like, don't break up with your boyfriend because she broke up with hers like this doesn't and they were really saying that like please don't do that guys like this isn't time to do that and it what there is like something in me that's like well if that doesn't work what the fuck am i doing like it makes you just want to burn it to the ground which she does do on her show she burns down the lover house which is a

swifty thing but um it does it makes you believe like oh if that can't work this thing that i i know so much about on in such a poetic way that's the only way i know about it then what then what is there if this kind of love could inspire my favorite songs and i'm not talking a couple songs i'm talking 40 songs then what and that and all her pain before this was all leading to him? What was it all for? And some of your favorite songs are songs she wrote about him, right? Like, because of him and about him. So now what is going to happen?

Yes, and all the songs leading up to him, even the songs that she wrote before she met him were about him because it was all leading to Joe. We all knew Joe was it. Like, there were a lot of us that resisted joe at first but for six years we've been like it's mom and dad i hate when people do the mom and dad thing but that's how it feels and um and so i'm over it now because i saw that single outfit and i'm so on board and i'm so excited to go to her concert and be like girl you are single

let's see now knowing having the context of what's really going on which i by the way i don't know what's really going on i'm not stupid i know that i don't know taylor i don't know the first thing about what's happening in taylor's life i she wore butterfly pants probably because she just likes those jeans and like didn't even realize there was a butterfly on them i read into way too much stuff but i think contextually it's going to make the show a lot better to know what phase in her relationship she is uh with with this context it's going to make the show a lot better to know what phase in her relationship she is with this context. It's going to make it very fun. And I just want to be there for my friend, if that sounds crazy. I just want to be like, I felt a sadness from her that night, but maybe I was projecting because my flight was delayed or whatever.

All right. Thank you guys for letting me talk ad nauseum about Taylor Swift, especially on your debut show, Brian. We have so many more questions for you. We'll get to know you tomorrow on the show as well, and we'll just continue getting to know each other because you're not going anywhere, and neither is Anya. Noah is here to stay as well. Thank you, Bestie, so much for listening.

So we'll see you tomorrow. Also, I am on tour this weekend, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Newport? No. New Hampshire. Hampton, New Hampshire. Hampton, New Hampshire at the Casino. Two shows in Hampton, one in Pennsylvania,

and then next week we have Tucson and then Vegas with David Spade. So get on it, NikkiGlaser.com for tickets, and then I'm all over Europe. All over Europe. I mean, you can't find a European city I'm not going to be in in May. It's literally all of them. Come see me and Anya on the road.

And don't be cut. And just spend a fortune on tickets that, you know, only last one night. And you only have your memories to show for it. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show. And he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed

listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts