The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #334 Positive Pranks w/ Chris Convy

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

Chris is not only Nikki's lover, we discover that he learned Lover on piano to swoon her. Anya points out that Chris loves a good prank and he admits she is not wrong. He tells a story about a prank that made Nikki's skin crawl from their TV show Not Safe w/ Nikki Glaser. Brian and Anya analyze the Love Is Blind Reunion dutifully. Anya thought one of the break ups was jarring to womenhood but Nikki didn't make anything of it. Nikki talks about a moment in Succession that is a spoiler but that everyone was kind of expecting. The TV talk brings on the conversation about characters people crave. Finally, they play a game of Top 1 Bottom 1 and talk about love songs. --- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Get Pod Merch: Podshop.NikkiGlaser.com Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian Frange: brianfrange.com More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF,

and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions

on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night.

It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki.

Hello. Here I am. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser podcast. Hope you're having a great day. Thanks for tuning in. I am so excited to do this show because it's all my favorite people in one space. Joined through the internet with me as Brian Frangie, new sidekick. Everyone's talking about it. People love him. People are excited. He's the greatest. Brian? Oh, yes.

Okay. Yeah. Hello. I thought we were going to go through everybody. Jump on in, Bri. Oh, yeah. It's just so great to be talked about finally. Yeah. To be talked Okay. Yeah. Hello. I thought we were going to go through everybody. Jump on in, Bri. Oh, yeah. It's just so great to be talked about finally. Yeah.

To be talked about. I don't care what it's for. Just as long as I'm talked about, that's fine. People said someone said that the moment they fell for you was like, oh, it was a humble moment. I guess the word humility is in the word humble. I guess they're from the same root. But like you were being

humble about, you said something and you go, oh, you were on a rant and then you go, and I forgot where this is going. You just were honest. And I think most people would just try to weasel out of it. But you just admitted that you lost your train of thought. And that was like, people like that.

Brian Franchi is a honest person. He's one of the most honest people I've ever met. I think it's a spectrum issue. But that's not up to me to decide. No, that's not up to you. But I also have a spectrum issue with honesty as well. Of just like saying things that are a little bit too... They're called Time Warner now, just so you know.

Oh, that's true. But Brian is here. And Noah is here from Arizona and Anya is here in New York and then in studio you've already heard his voice

he's breaking all the rules it's Chris Convey my lover breaking all the rules he doesn't care for that yeah that's not how well you sang to me the song lover

on my birthday my birthday's coming up by the way so get ready again yeah I keep aging. I know you don't want me to.

It seems like this happened like every year. Did Chris learn that on piano? Yeah, it was so cute. That is amazing. He set up his little keyboard. Sorry, it was little. It's not little. It's just masculine energy.

I know. Here, it's coming through. No, he set up his keyboard. He came over with a big keyboard. Everything looks big next to him. And he's a little guy. And so it was his little keyboard. And then he took piano lessons and learned Lover.

Oh. It's adorable. Do you take lessons, Chris? How many lessons? Oh, well, I was taking lessons. And then I was like, hey, I need to do this really adorable, sweet little thing for my lady. Well, he's a cutie because even I one time, I'm sorry if you don't want me to share this. I don't want to share anything ever, basically.

It was my overall policy. Well, this is adorable, too. And this kind of shows our relationship. When we were kind of just not solid yet, like we weren't back together officially, we were kind of like not solid yet like we weren't back together officially i we were kind of like open with talking about like other things not other things but past things we always have been kind of but there there was a time where we you and i didn't talk at all like we weren't dating at all we weren't talking at all and i was trying to like get i because my listeners know that i'm totally cool with hearing about past stuff. It almost like revs me up,

you know? Right. And, um, but you were telling me that you, you took, um, somebody ice lessons,

no tango lessons. Wasn't that right? Cause you were going to maybe go meet this girl that it was like a long distance thing. And she was into dancing. And so he was going to show up and like, and I go, Oh,

were you taking tango lessons? So you could do the tangaroo with a little Australian sweetie? And I was giving you so much shit, but I did think it was so cute. That's such a cute thing. And then another cute thing. Well, the tango lessons, no, it was actually salsa lessons. Okay, salsa for that, yes. But the tango, what I was going to do with tango lessons was.

Oh, yeah, I remember that. I was going to, for Saralina, who I'm sure people have heard you guys talk about Saralina. Saralina is like a really, really accomplished, like, tango dancer and instructor and all this stuff. And I was going to learn how to do tango, get really good at it, and then be like, hey, could you just teach me a few moves? And have her teach me just a few things. And then bust out. And then just be, like, awesome at all of them and be like, God, you're the best teacher. Oh, yeah. And then just. like awesome at all of them and be like, God, you're the best teacher. Oh, yeah.

And then just. That's a really good idea to do. It's like so, that's so much effort for a surprise. For like a funny joke. But those two, those two were my best friends. Yeah. And it was like, well, if this makes them laugh, this could go down in friendship history. Chris is a prankster.

I'm learning. You like a good prank. But it's like a surprise. It's like a surprise. An elaborate joke. I like a big positive prank like that. A positive prank. But they're all surprises. We should start a show. Positive pranks.

Yeah. I know. I don't like watching prank shows because they're mean and they're deceptive and people, I don't like crank yankers. When I did that show, it was the most miserable shows because they're mean and they're deceptive and people i don't like i don't like um crank yankers when i did that show it was the it was the most miserable i've ever been not because that show isn't amazing it's my dad's favorite show that's why i said yes to doing it but thank god i had i turned off my brain i disassociated i literally became a husk of a performer and then

i just read the screen in front of me what people just wanted me to say because I can't deceive people that way. Well, do you guys remember on the show where we met Brian? Well, where I met Brian. Yes. Remember the thing that probably broke you? Oh, my God. Tinder tap out. Oh, it was.

It never got released. In the shame of that sketch that I probably lost a couple years of my life under the stress of pranking those guys so what we did was we were trying to see through these guys I met on tinder with hidden cameras set up in an apartment that was supposed to be mine so it was Nikki's show called not safe it was on comedy central and we had this idea that we would get a bunch of these guys to go on a date they would pick Nikki up at her quote-unquote house we would get a bunch of these guys to go on a date. They would pick Nikki up at her quote unquote house. We set up a bunch of hidden cameras and it was Nikki's. The name of the bit was Tinder tap out.

And it was how many things can Nikki get these guys to do before they're like, all right, we're done. Yeah. And so it's like change a light bulb. There was all this checklist, change a light bulb, put together a couch, like Ikea furniture, a a light bulb. There was all this checklist. Change a light bulb. Put together a couch, a chair.

Like Ikea furniture. A table, yeah. An Ikea table. One was bring me Uber Eats. This is actually the plot of The Last Bachelor. It actually is. It's pretty much every relationship. Like how much can I get him to do for me before I give up the puss?

And so first of all, I had to go on dates with these guys, which is my number one nightmare when I'm a single person is meeting up with someone I met online. And this is always what I ask people when they're dating. I go, how awkward is it when you show up for the first time and you have to be like, hey, like, you don't know each other. You've only talked online. Like, it's humiliating. That alone is humiliating to me when it's done sincerely. And so when I had to fake it and be like kind of into these guys, because you also, when you're a woman, you don't know if these guys who are coming over to your house and they're bringing you food think they're going to get laid. Probably they're like 50-50 on it.

Probably more leaning towards like, I'm going to get laid. If you invite them into your house on like the very first moment, this is like, this is a fan session. So I had people in the next room ready to like step in if they tried anything but trying something with me is the first attempt of them leaning forward is already out of my comfort zone by the time someone came in and goes stop stop i'm already assaulted in my mind like the the move if someone would have like put their hand on my hip we would have stopped down and said hey this is a joke don't touch her but even that first thing to happen for that to then be intercepted or like for it already would have been a violation it was so you had like five you had five guys come over guys that i had to do this with at once and no and i had to do it throughout the course of the

day all day long it was so stressful because i hate lying to people and i also hate making guys waste their time yeah i hate dating i do combine a lot of things that you don't like you liked gang gang gang bangs if all at once would have been a different story if they all arrived at the same time we would have had something you know going but it was wow that's so funny audio it no it was and she only knows that because she sees my act this isn't something i'm talking about because chris is probably like what and he hasn't seen my gangbang show yet i haven't seen the latest show he hasn't seen like my gangbang material yet so i have a lot of gangbang material but it's not you know it's not something chris has

seen yet so i don't want you to think i'm just talking about gangbangs offstage. It's an act. But yeah, I was just... And then we couldn't... The best guy was refusing to give us permission. He refused, yeah. He was the best guy. He was great. And I bet I could find that video.

Oh my God. I don't think I could even watch it. And I remember my grandma died that day too. Remember that? Oh my God. Mimi died. It was a rough day. Mimi died that day. Yeah. It was remember my grandma died that day too. Remember that? Oh my God. Mimi died. It was a rough day. Mimi died that day.

Yeah, it was awful. That's what you get. That's what you get for tricking men. Oh, my sister called me in the middle of it. Yeah, no kidding. Wow. It was karma. My sister called me in the middle of the shoot

and I was so wanting to get out of the scene that I just took the call and left the guy to like install the furniture and went in the bathroom and was like, tell me about grandma. I was actually taking calls about grandma that I probably wouldn't have taken because I just wanted to get out of the fucking scene. Mimi, I love you. Thank you for

saving me that day. Did you guys learn anything about male behavior and dating from that? And also my second question is why did it not get included in the show? What I learned is that we hated doing it yeah we don't we don't we don't have the temperament for it like it takes ranking is not fun it takes a special kind of person to do to do that and have no sort of like qualms about it yes but also that guys like these guys were all sweet yeah and like they were kind.

They were probably Brian Frangies back in the day, looking for a friend, looking for a partner. And then we paid them back for the food they bought. We offered to pay them for the... Yeah, we paid them. They got stuff out of it. But it's like... It's just not fun. It just wasn't.

Yeah, it wasn't fun. It's not fun wasting someone's time. But it was nice that they were... Yeah, they thought I was going to fucking blow them. It's like, it just wasn't. It's just not fun. Yeah, it wasn't fun. It's not fun wasting someone's time. But it was nice that like they were. Yeah, they thought I was going to fucking blow them. It's like, what a disappointment to think that you're going to get that. That's a huge letdown. Like if you'd match with somebody even on Tinder and you're so excited to match and you're just like, oh my God, I have a date. And it leads to an actual date.

Brian, how many times as someone who we used to call Bumble Brian because you were so much on the apps, and you said in one year you went on 200 dates. It was something insane. Dates with over 50 different women, multiple dates a week, sometimes multiple dates a night. In my search for the one. That is wild. And you found the one. But before you found the one, I want to say, and I read this a lot on the Dating Advice subreddit because it's just a fascinating subreddit where people are just sharing how hard it is out there and i did this a lot on dating apps when i was on there i would get matched with someone and that would be enough for me

i don't want to meet them it's the dopamine hit of like i could if i wanted to but i'm too scared to meet this person in person i'm not really interested in getting to know this person but i could if i wanted to and then and i hear this happens a lot to guys and girls you you have a conversation and you never meet up and the person kind of goes out how often is that happening with matches on there um probably like 80 percent every week it happens so often and every single it didn't matter how many times it happened every single time it happened, it destroyed me. I was always so hurt. Can you imagine if you ended up on a prank show?

Oh my God. I was like, finally, somebody matched with me. I could go on a date and then it's a fucking prank show. You know what I learned through all of this, which you have to learn these lessons, is like, trust your gut. And my gut was screaming. I don't like pranks.

I don't like this. Even when I did cranky occurs, I turned it down for the second time. They asked me cause I was like, it wasn't enjoyable. My dad, I didn't get anything from it in terms of my dad got it. One,

like got to see me on cranky occurs, his favorite show done. I don't need to do it again. That is your dad's favorite show. One of his, he just loves prank calls. That is so odd. Oh, okay. He loves prank calls. Imagine you go on a date. And it is a favorite show. One of his favorite. He just loves prank calls. That is so odd. Oh, okay.

He loves prank calls. Imagine you go on a date. And it is a funny show. Imagine you go on a date and you show up and then Chris is there and he just starts tangoing really skillfully

and he's like, gotcha. And that's the end of the date. It's so embarrassing. Positive pranks with Chris and Frasier. We wouldn't have been able to do it to women.

It would have been too mean and that's the double standard. I mean, the premise doesn't work with women, because women aren't desperate to get fucked. Right. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't think it was that deep of a thing that we were doing. I know, but I don't think it would, women, it wouldn't have, well, actually, women are desperate to get married, though, so we would have changed the dynamics of it to seem like

this is a promising, this guy will give you a relationship as opposed to sex. I want to know what Chris thinks of that woman who was curious about whether it's okay to bake, because she really likes baking, bake this guy's favorite dessert on a second date. Okay, so yesterday I was reading from a Reddit thread and it was in dating advice. And this girl was asking, we went on a first date with this guy. I really like him. We got along so well. And he mentioned his favorite dessert. And I really want to bake it for him for the second date and bring it.

How would you feel about that? It all depends on how that first date went. If it was like some sort of a magical thing and that girl seemed totally cool and normal, and then she did that, you'd be like, oh, that's cool. But if she seemed a little goofy you you might think this is weird it would all depend on how that actual first date but his because it sounds like a cool it sounds like a thoughtful i like it because i feel like it's thoughtful so to me it's like this seems thoughtful but if she was can i just say though you watch love is blind remember when

zach is deciding between irena the russian sleepy snake and then russian having nothing to do with why she's sleepy or sneaky um but it's just another factor of her not racist or uh whatever that would be and then i think we can openly criticize russians right now can't we not now there's one on the podcast well i know uh yeah but saying that they're all sneaky like i don't want to infer that Russians are all sneaky. Right. I mean, it's the same sort of thing as like Americans when something bad is happening in the world.

It's like, it's not all of our fault. We didn't want that to happen. Yes, that's a good point. So the Russian sleepy snake and then Bliss. Remember when she bakes him a cake for his birthday? Good move? Yes. Really?

But she didn't pick her, Chris. But I thought it was insane of him. I thought he was insane for picking that one. Irina. Oh, yes. I don't think it is. I think it's why he didn't. Bliss was too easy.

She wasn't going to. She wasn't a challenge. People don't want. She wasn't a challenge. The other. Bliss was ready to give him everything. Save the for your cake is your pussy save it save it for your marriage i don't think it depends on him like if he was a reasonable like everybody knew that bliss was the right person like it was so obvious that bliss was like i didn't know she was the right person

she's better than irena though well yeah i mean, between those two, you're like, oh, he isn't mature enough to see that. Yes. He isn't. Like, yeah. He wasn't ready for it. He wasn't ready to have a mature, loving relationship. He was not ready to accept love. And so he let that snake slither into his life and manipulate him.

He did. And she was never in it for love. You could tell from the- She wanted a hot guy. And she was so sad when she didn't get a place to sleep. She wanted a best friend that she could worship. I think she wanted to win. I think she just wanted to win. She probably wouldn't have even been in the Mexico trip or further

if she wasn't in direct competition with another woman because she wouldn't have tried hard enough to get him. I think you're right. The competition aspect of all of these things really makes people do like irrational things. Anya, what did you think of that?

Did you think the bliss move? Well, I watched the reunion, Chris, and I'm Russian, so I really feel like I know Irina a little better than you guys might. No. They raked her over the coals over that reunion.

It was like, you're a bad person and we all wish the best for you and we hope over that reunion it was like you're a bad person and we all wish the best for you and we hope you grow we all think you're a terrible person we gotta get into the reunion because it was you know

famously delayed because Netflix was having issues and so it did air eventually and people could watch it like three in the morning

or whatever but Anya watched it I did not care I don't care about what happened i just want to hear the highlights so we're going to get to that after the break because anya watched it and she's going to give us some highlights and we're going to comment on what we thought because we all have watched it right yeah yeah so let's do it um we'll we'll talk about uh love is blind in the reunion right after this john stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and

insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and

exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab, is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. It's about never feeling good enough. I feel like I'm always failing.

You'll learn how to handle relationships, how to be inspiring, and how to find your purpose. We make it this big pie-in-the-sky thing, and then of course we're all frustrated because no one knows how to get there. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that too. The ability to approach somebody and make them experience desire for you in minutes or even hours is a rare and rather unnecessary skill, historically speaking. The Happiness Lab's how-to season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. Anya, tell the big um takeaways from the love is blind reunion because

i have to say if these shows do not give it to me straight up and they give me a week to forget about the characters i don't care i don't care about getting back in netflix give us a dump of love is blind do not separate it by a week I have to think their analytics support what I'm saying in that they lose people every week. Imagine how many people they lost from the delay on the reunion. Waiting three hours? I bet everyone that waited did watch it, though. I did not wait.

I would never have just been waiting around for that stupid reunion. Who gives a fuck? I sat there at 5 p.m. like a dutiful fan, and I waited and waited, and I kept refreshing. You did not. I was a dutiful fan, and I even brought my headphones with me to go shoot hoops at the park, and I was like, I'm going to live. In case it came on. In case it came on. I kept refreshing, and the more times I refreshed, the angrier and angrier I got until it got to the point where the most frustrating thing was there are people on Twitter who are saying,

it's working for me now, and I'm refreshing, and it's not working for me. So now all these people are getting the dirt, and I'm sitting there in my basketball. What did you want to see so badly? Squeaky clean, Brian. Let's talk about what you were dying to see out of that reunion because I, you know, it's later on. I just want to see if Kwame and Chelsea are still together

because I thought that was going to implode immediately. And what we do know from our own personal interactions with tim convey chris's brother who is in ludo which is the band that zach covered in that song i know based on when that was brought to tim this was shot over a year ago so these couples got married over a year ago are they still together that's what i want to know about kwame and chelsea the rest they all lasted we know i was blown away that michael micah and paul did not say yes both of them did they get back together is that is that a bomb that we're willing to drop they did date after they broke up so he said no to her at the altar i thought her

move at the altar was genius to be like i think think you go first. Yeah. He was, I kind of loved Vanessa Lachey's answer. She did not let him get away with something. He was like passive aggressively shaming Micah and saying like, you know, I just didn't feel there were certain things in line. And Vanessa's like,

you said she wasn't nurturing enough and wouldn't be a good mother. So can you address that? What kind of person says that? You know, I don't really, I just didn't think of it. It was just a thing. She's like, what quality did you need to see? And he's like, because Micah evidently.

Care about his well-being. Yeah, Micah was an only child and almost, she and her mom almost died during childbirth, which she's like, you didn't see this on the show, but that's one of the most important things to me is to have a kid. And we talked about that extensively. So that hurt to hear that he thought it. What a demon.

I mean, that is a demonic thing to say to somebody. It's like he spent. Why do I disagree? He spent six weeks figuring out what would hurt her the most. And then he said it right after dumping her on the altar. That's the first thing he said was she wouldn't be a good mother. Did he say it to her face? No, it was to the camera.

Okay. Vanessa was like, your mom and Micah were kind of like doppelgangers. And he goes, well, they might have looked alike physically, but there are a lot of differences between them emotionally. And it was like a dig, like my mom is a good mom and she wouldn't be? What's sort of the implication? No, I don't hear that. I just hear Micah's not. Maybe Paul is, you can villainize Paul all I just hear Micah's not. Maybe Paul is getting.

You can villainize Paul all you want for what he's saying. He's not giving you specifics because that would be meaner. So what we're injecting in there is a bunch of stuff that he didn't even say. Because he's trying to be nice. He's trying to give an answer for why he said we need to hear why he didn't. He said she wasn't nurturing. And it's just a quality that emanates from someone. I can't explain it.

I just didn't get the vibe. But what would you want him to say? Do you want him to lie? What do you want him to say aside from what he felt? It's like he stumbled upon. I don't think he maybe was malicious, but it's like he stumbled upon

the meanest possible thing he could say. I think he's in love with his mother. Would you want him to lie? And she's not like his mother and he wants a mommy and he's too scared to say she wouldn't make me lunch. She didn't ever cook for me.

She didn't do my laundry. But he doesn't want to say that because it'll sound anti-feminist or something. So he's like, it's just a vibe. I can't. They should have never been together. He should have. Micah should have been with Kwame the whole time. I mean, the way they.

Kwame. As soon as Kwame and Chelsea get married. And then Chris and I are watching it, Kwame and Chelsea say yes and then after that it's Micah and Paul and I go, there's no way

that Kwame's hearing the news of their breakup and going like, hey, can I, can we like go back to my wedding and like,

can I change my answer? Because he was in love with Micah. The way his face would light up as soon as she would walk in the room, the way he would

put his hand on his chin and just have this little boyish grin when he looked at her was so her if i were chelsea watching that footage back i mean she saw it all happen because they did it right in front of her like a piece of scum um but then upon watching it again i don't know how that couple is still standing after watching their little poolside chat where she kept like touching his face. Disgusting. I don't have any stake in this, but I don't fault Paul for thinking she wouldn't be a good mother. I don't. And having that be a reason.

Because if, let's say the opposite. Let's say that we, let's say Paul was just like, I don't know. I just wasn't feeling it. Whatever. Gave some bullshit answer. You'd be mad at him about that too. Paul, why, why did this,

like he was goaded for specifics. He gave them, you don't know what the producers are doing on the other side of this. They are trying, they're make these people tired. They get them to say things. And then you villainize them for telling the truth. I just don't.

Well, I liked Micah's point which was like i never heard about this at all until i watched the show so i never once during dating this person for a very long time even after we broke up we got back together never heard that he was concerned about something that was a huge red flag yeah like at least give me a heads up yeah at least tell me i'm gonna be a bad. Like a couple weeks before we get to the altar. And I just like, I like villainizing the characters on the reality show. That's like my number one thing is to hate on them after it's over.

I know, but I just think that they're all, they, this leads to them like wanting to kill themselves. And I'm like, it's just, it's not good to, to pile on because I think it's, we're all hypocrites. I think we all operate the same way and we would under the same circumstances. Yet we sit on our little couches, our golden thrones and say, well, I mean, my couch is a golden throne. But we all, I just think that people need to chill out

with their judgment. And I'm doing the same thing with, I'm not judging Micah. I'm saying, I don't care whether she's a good mom or not. But Paul was just telling the truth. And that's what we wanted from him. And now we're mad at him. And now we're saying, I would never think that thing about my partner. Yes, you would.

Yes, you have. And definitely on a reality show where you're sleep deprived and you're being manipulated constantly, you would do the same thing. So I think we just need to look at all of this through that scope. But I have not seen the reunion. So maybe this would change my opinion. I just think it's particularly painful for women because that's like one of our, not every woman wants to be a mom, but that just hits so deep.

So should he lie? No, but like a man who doesn't even experience motherhood, like he is not a mother and is never going to be a mother, but he's going to tell me that I'm not a good mother? He's not the arbiter of what a good mother is. I'm sorry, but Chris, haven't you dated women that you go, she would be a bad mom? Yeah, I mean, look at like if you had a kid,

I would be like, Nikki is going to be a mom you are going to be a mother no there are people that I've dated guys where I go he's not he shouldn't be a dad like it's just a thing and it doesn't mean you're I get it that like that's I almost died

and so that's my thing like I'm sorry it doesn't matter if it's your thing or not or if it hurts a lot it's honest and it's true and paul is a little spectrum me as well i'm sure that we're leaving out some evidence like give one example like all you do is get wasted with your friends and do crack like i gave an example i think that's the thing that paul had a problem with and maybe he didn't want to say it was like when he would call her or when she was with her friends, like they seemed great together. But that was pretty unbecoming when they would go out and she would get hammered like she was in college. Yes.

And for a guy like Paul, like a man of science, a man science it's like she's not metabolizing alcohol fast enough yes yes but he like that might not be his favorite thing whereas another guy would be like this is my perfect girl like girl let's go out and party they're wasted i want to be clear i am sad that she almost died during childbirth and her mom i'm not making fun of that we all have something in our past that we could go, but that's extra hurtful because of this thing that you didn't necessarily... I don't really give a lot of leeway for that.

Well, we're leaving out the fact that when Paul... I wanted to be a mom. Now she won't be with him. Good. Good for her. She got out of it. When Paul said that about her, he also threw up the shocker symbol with his hand. And I think that was totally unnecessary.

I mean, her drinking was the issue. Why? I had someone I dated once tell me I wasn't ambitious enough and I was like, by whose standards? This guy was like a workaholic and I was like, I am so... Did he actually say those

words to you? He he was like you're not excited about things what are you working on why are you not working on anything and i was like i just finished a web series an album i'm working on it like what do you want and then i was just like i don't like this kind of person i don't want to date someone that's judging me quietly or loudly yeah you didn't want to stay with him. It's like, I'm not up to your standards. Your standards of what a good worker is or like a productive, what did I miss that? Sorry.

I said you didn't want to stay with him. Do you know what I'm doing? She was holding. Yeah, yeah, I got it. That was good. Okay, okay. So I think it's just sort of like, who are you? Like, she doesn't meet your standards of what a good mom is but like

you have some weird standard that you won't even elucidate for us thank you I used a good word yeah that is a good word and definitely Paul knows that word um I get it like yes I guess um I just really didn't like Mike a stinky friend who I

bet smells oh my god well that's yeah I did not like that didn't like Micah's stinky friend. Who I bet smells. Oh my God. Well, that's... Yeah, I did not like that. I did not like that girl. And I know it's less interesting to talk about things... Well, Noah said that Zach looked like he had bad breath.

I can say that that girl looks like she stinks. Her attitude stinks. She's a stick in the mud. She looks like she's... And I stink sometimes. No judgment. Like didn't shower stinks?

I wouldn't want her borrowing my sweatshirt. I thought that friend was the worst person. She's the worst person I've ever seen. She's beautiful. And I would want to borrow her sweatshirts. But I would need to walk. And I'm a stinky person too. Don't come at me and don't send this to her.

Please God, don't send this to her and be a fucking troll. I'm just saying she was not nice. She smells like shit and there's nothing she could do about it shit she just smells like she doesn't there's just and i'm projecting i can be a stinky person too brian do you know who the football coach tony dungy is of course i do he was the colts football coach my number one favorite team yeah okay boy boy. Boy to interlude. What does that mean? I have a friend who says that Tony Dungy looks like he's deaf. Wait, can you pull up a picture, Noah, of Tony Dungy? Because we got to confirm this.

He was a soft-spoken, kind man, and he brought the Colts to the championship and won a Super Bowl. Oh, good for him. Yeah, good for Tony. What do we all think about this? Was the friend at the reunion? No, but they talked about her and they were like, what are your thoughts?

She's a fan favorite, isn't she? People are, there's memes. She's got memes. They don't actually like her. No one actually wants her in their life. They don't like,

she's like, you know, I love New York. There he is. He does. Oh no, he's got an earpiece in. He looks like the actor who played Gandhi. That's not exactly why. Ben.

Kingsley? Oh yeah. It kind of does. I know it's more fun to hate on things and I couldn't agree with it more, but I want to talk, I think his name's Brent. Is that his name? Brett. Brett.

Brett. Brett is the best. And Tiffany. Brett like restored my faith in humanity. Yes. In people. Good yeah tiffany was cool she was a confident woman and didn't let a lot of things bother her sleepy sleepy but not russian but like she she was really cool and confident and mature she was he was like a rock solid man you know what because they're 36 and 37 that why, yes. Why can't Netflix, well, first of all, they weren't interesting. No, it was boring.

So maybe they're doing, when Claire Crawley, who was 39 and was a bachelorette, I think, or maybe she was like 36 or 37, Chris was a big fan. I'm interested. They made her the oldest bachelorette. The season only lasted half the season because the guy got out of the car and she goes, that's my husband. And they're all just like, tone it down, lady. And she just knew.

Because first of all, we all know based on personal relationships with people who have been on The Bachelor and Bachelorette, they know right away who they're going to choose. Pretty much the first night, they know it's down to like two guys or two girls. They know they have to pretend like it's, oh no, for literally the entire season.

I felt the same way when Claire Crawley got out of the limo. I was like, that's the one for me. Chris really liked her. And I just think she has this thing. My friend Nicole in San Diego has it. And only a couple of people I've ever met, but you know who else has it?

Ali Wong on beef they have this thing they have curved teeth and their teeth look shiny all the time and it looks like someone took Vaseline and put them over their beautiful curved teeth and she has lip gloss she does have oh lip gloss constant lip gloss no this is the Claire thing is like she's just like constantly like tilting her head. I mean, like, like constantly. Do you like me more when I go like. Whoa, what's going on?

Wow. Yeah, that is good. She was constantly like. You'd be a good mom. Oh. Like. She was constantly just, she's exuding sex. Chris, would you agree? Yes.

And we were talking about there's some women there's some women that just have that i was even saying micah what is it about micah that is so magnetic on this show where we have kwame and paul tripping over themselves to propose to her through a wall i'll tell you what it is. But then she's fucking hot, too. And once they saw her, they go. It's the headline of Kwame and Chelsea's story, which is brand new fake eyelashes.

What do you mean? Chelsea has new eyelashes. Oh, to kind of match the Micah vibe. And I think that adds. Oh, yeah, fake eyelashes. If you're in any doubt about... If you want to look hotter, let's talk...

For your wife's wedding, spray tan eyelashes. Those are the two things that are going to up your hotness. Those are two separate things. No. You don't spray tan your eyelashes. It just sounded like...

Spray tan, yes. It sounded like... Get some really tan eyelashes. Yeah. Spray tan and eyelashes. It just sounded like. Spray tan. Yes. Get some really tan eyelashes. Yeah. Spray tan and eyelashes are always going to, like, I would say before a face of makeup, I would get a spray tan is going to make your face look better anyway without makeup. And then eyelashes. They're essential elements.

Because, so Chelsea, did she look so much hotter? I have to say, personally, I preferred the before. Even though watching the entire season, I was thinking, could someone slap some mascara on those things at least? Or a little top eyeliner? Micah's, I have to say, I don't like fake eyelashes that are the ones that you used to get on you. I'm not judging the ones, but the ones that are extensions. Yes.

Permanent ones don't look good. They look fake and they look too much. Do you know what I'm talking about, Chris? No, I'm kind of the perfect candidate for observing plastic surgery and makeup and eyelashes. Whatever tricks that are being pulled work on me because I'm not looking at a specific thing. I'm looking at a whole picture. Right. And so those things, it's hard to identify.

Because sometimes I'm like, look at her eyelashes. They are too over the top they like like some people have made fun of women with these kind of fake eyelashes and put credit cards on their eyes and it just looks like straight up just a flat surface of black and that's what it looked like micah's to me were because they'll have no makeup on and then just these it just doesn't look great but it's dolls that goes to sleep yes yes like offended sometimes when chris doesn't see him i'm like you can't see how fake that shit is when you point it out i can yeah but i think it's so ubiquitous at this point all of these things

all the plastic surgery all this stuff is so ubiquitous that it's like some of it just looks like what is happening and so you're not like oh this is wildly different than what a normal human being looks like so was micah just um made out to be the like like poor was everyone just so poor micah or was she a little bit villainized for her um bullying styles i guess with ireina. I think she escaped just fine. She has a new Taylor Swift, dirty blonde hue of hair. She looked beautiful and tan and sad

and stoic and handled everything kind of well. But she looked very heartbroken still over Paul. But she got attacked a little bit for us. There was some rumor that she had told Irina maybe that, like, I'm never going to marry this guy. Like, they were saying, I think Zach.

Is that the guy with Bliss? Yeah, Zach was, like, fuming in the corner. It was like, I just have to say, Micah has been throwing Paul under the bus this whole time and never intended to get married. And I can't believe she's acting like this. But there was just nothing that interesting about the reunion, to be honest. I mean, highlights were Chelsea's eyelashes. Well, what about Kwame? Was he like kind of horny for Micah?

Could you tell? No, he was very- Or were they good? Are they good? They seemed great. They were intertwined very closely. And he was like, what you saw on the show was edited so much. And I could see why people would think I was so inappropriate.

He apologized a lot to Chelsea's family to Chelsea oh that's good I really loved Kwame I liked him from the get yeah and then when he

did that stuff by the pool I was just screaming at the television that was disappointing but he won me back because when he and Chelsea were good you were like

this is this feels good yes except that oh man haven't we all been i think i've talked about it before when they are doing that photo shoot or they're like doing like a try on remember there she was like trying on clothes and they both were like recovering

from a fight that morning but she was acting like everything was fine and still being like cute and flirty and being like i'm having so much fun and you could tell they weren't having any fun yeah she kept talking about how much fun she was having oh my god i think i've done that with you before when we've like not been we were at a fun thing but we're both still reeling from like an argument we got in and we're trying to like fake fun this is fun oh it's terrible on the bachelor and bachelorette where they're like where they're like this is so much fun being with you oh because they have nothing to say so they're just like god i love this is fun yeah if you say it enough you'll believe it fun on this both of them were like we loved that photo shoot i know you guys were making fun of us but chelsea's like doing a photo shoot with calvin

klein underwear is my lifelong dream i guess her why she's loved calvin i think that girl wants to get banged in public that's her her real talk. She kept saying... Real talk. She kept saying this is her dream to do this boudoir photo shoot. Let me interpret that for you. No one's dream is to do a... That means her dream is to pose nude.

And if her dream is to pose nude with another guy in underwear, she's a voyeuristic person. guaranteed they are at hotels opening the windows and banging in front of the window, hoping people see. Guaranteed. I would bet my life on it that these two are voyeurs. I'm pretty crude and pretty uncomfortable with, you know, like exhibitionists. Yes.

All the like talking about private things in public. But I thought her openness about all of that stuff even though it was goofy and weird that you wanted that photo shoot i thought it was refreshing how like very on the i would think you would appreciate her because you're you're like that as well it is strange to want to do the photo shoot but i loved it even though i thought it was the most uncomfortable thing i could imagine for myself and watching it. The fact that Kwame embraced it. Yeah, it was cute. It was like, oh, these people do have a chance.

Like, they are on the same page. Yeah. And even though I thought it was bizarre and weird, they were both into it. Isn't it weird that they were both that comfortable doing that photo shoot? I mean, watching it, the only thing I could really think of was that she'd be a good mother, you know? I couldn't help.

Did you think that because you could see her full of... I could see her full of... Oh, I can now see her as a mother. I could see a baby coming out of there. They're both these tiny, fit people. I don't understand how these people are all wildly wealthy now. They had some footage of them all in their new homes. Well, Chelsea is rich.

She comes from a rich family. Not Chelsea. Who are we talking about? This is Chelsea, right? Chelsea and Micah now live in like a penthouse apartment overlooking all of Seattle. It is massive. They have two separate bathrooms.

I'm just like, do they get paid for this show? Not a lot, no. Maybe it's social media. They have to get paid for something. How does a lot, no. Maybe it's social media. How does a speech pathologist support this? Chelsea's family is, I think, wealthy and I think that was part of the appeal for Kwame because when Kwame went and visited Chelsea's

family, I feel like it really turned for him. They were like vacationing on the French Riviera or something or some Seattle version of that. Like an island. It was like a beautiful dock. They were like vacationing on the French Riviera or something or some Seattle version of that. Yeah. Like an island. It was like a beautiful dock.

Yes. And they're like, welcome to the family. And there was just like, it was like six matriarchs who were all like, you're going to be part of something. Man, there is something about meeting the family that there is a reason these shows do that. Like meet the family thing and it can ruin a relationship. Just some some hard ass dad who's like got his gun on the table

or some shit like is sharpening his knives like on last season. Well yeah, well the Paul Zach had to run into a dad that was a failure. Oh, Bliss's dad.

Evidently Bliss's dad is now in love with Zach. I can see that. Really? Yeah, I think it's all good. I don't know if in love with, but like he accepts him. They're in a relationship now.

He has contributed some money to them. Love was so blind. For our listeners who don't watch Love is Blind, this has been quite a detour. But let's talk about maybe they watch Succession. Because people have been asking me what I think about Succession. Because I have not spoken about it since

Logan Roy passed. And I'm sorry, spoiler alert. Get on board like you've had two weeks yeah come on logan roy died gotta say i miss brian cox i really do yeah i just i've been watching mcdonald's commercials on repeat just to like get my cox fix wait what he's on those commercials he is yeah what like recent ones he's the i mean i don't know if he's in them but he's the voice no way yeah like dating back no like current mcdonald commercials he'll be he's the guy he does a commercial and then he goes you're no way i'm just dead serious he's not like Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Oh my God, that's so funny. Yeah, he gone.

And I thought the same thing of this first episode with Adam of like, I miss him. But then it gave other characters a chance to really shine, i.e. Frank and Ken. Jerry was really funny. Yeah, Jerry was great. Like, it's, I don't, I miss him, but there's, and you made a good point that Kendall is now kind of turning into his father and fulfilling that role of, like, this hard-ass,

like, manipulator, master manipulator. Falling into that, into, like, the role that his dad would have been. Yes, and can I say for all people who watch Succession, I was on the Succession Reddit and someone screenshotted and like zoomed in and used like great technology to completely transcribe the letter that Logan, the entire letter that Logan left in the safe. And he left Colin that watch, you know, Colin, his bodyguard. Guess how much that watch is worth?

$3.1 million. Yes. Shut up. Did you already read? Yeah, I read that part. Yeah, it was good. No. And so it is cool that they like wrote that letter

and the whole thing is written as he would write it. It was just, it's just a great little show. Do you think Kendall's name was underlined or crossed out? Crossed out. It's a clear cross out to me. Chris? Yeah, I definitely agree. What do you think?

I mean, because to me, that was the realization at the end that made Kendall go back and go around Kieran Culkin and say, hey, we're going to make my dad look like he was losing it at the end and drag him through the mud. Yes. Don't you think? Because he had that private moment in the bathroom where he opens the letter and he looks at it and it zooms in on the underlined slash crossed out

part. So for those of you who don't know, there's this letter that his dad leaves behind saying, I want to give my company and promote to CEO in the event of my death, my son, Kendall Roy. But then they look at the letter closely and it looks as

if he's either underlined it or crossed it out i mean they must have done so many versions of this to have the perfect way of doing it it's such a great moment because you can't really tell which he meant but i think you're right in that moment in the bathroom alone with the document that he's really staring at it he has the epiphany fucking fuck this guy who tried to cross out my name i'm gonna fuck him over one more time because the reason they weren't going to drag his name through the mud is because they were like, we're going to honor our father in the event of his death. I don't want to say,

but he's like, what he always comes back to is this guy doesn't give a fuck about me. Fuck him and fuck off. And I think that is, was his moment of realizing it was a cross out. What do you guys think? I'm only on season one, so I have no idea what anyone's

talking about. I just ruined it for you. No, no, I thought, I assumed if we got to the final season of Succession, it was inevitable that he would be dead. I mean, he must die. Did you not hear he died based on social media or just being online the past two weeks? No, the news

was just broken to me here but it wasn't really a surprise it wasn't a surprise because the the title of the show is succession which means that somebody has to move up and take his spot that's a good point um yeah that is a good point okay so we've what we've talked about love is blind succession and then really quick daisy jones and the six um i went on a rant yesterday about it it sucks the first episode was just uh pandering i didn't didn't enjoy it i started episode two but then i got distracted brian you watched daisy jones in the six yesterday i started while i i have not finished the first episode i'm like 40 minutes into the first episode.

Yeah, that's, no. My initial disgust for the show is I can't stand the fake documentary that's not a comedy. Oh, God. If it's not a comedy, the sincerity of faking that's a camera, it just takes me out of it every time. That's such a good point you can do the documentary style if it's like best in show kind of done but it needs comedy the sincerity behind it is so sickening and they're the aging of them doesn't even work it's so dare i say it's good the show is good that's why i hate it it's good I can't wait for Anya

to watch it and give us the lowdown because she's the closest to I mean she's she's Daisy Jones she's much better

than Daisy Jones it's based on her story but this is her world like this is yeah this is like this is really Anya grew up in the 60s

all I saw was that clip on Instagram that's like we need a hotel room we need money and we need no I sent that to clip on Instagram that's like we need a hotel room we need money no I sent that to you so I'm like oh these guys are idiots I don't know if I can get into watching it

it's so insulting I feel like I can't wait for you to watch it but yeah there's one scene where she walks by this bar and you know those sandwich boards what did it say because I couldn't remember yesterday it just the way that it ended and then that shot was like- Oh yeah, what did it say? Because I couldn't remember yesterday. I mean, it just, the way that it ended and then that shot was like leading to that,

it makes me, like, I feel sorry for these people that made the TV show. I'm just like, you guys don't care about your, it's so weird to be watching Succession and you're like, you guys are making perfect television. How can this show be on the same world? It's a sandwich board. Instead of saying like, you know, shots specials or like-

Open mic night tonight. Open mic night. It just says piano inside. Yes. So like later in the episode, she goes in and without having practiced, without having worked hard, without having spent her life writing songs and caring and all of this stuff, goes in and sings a perfectly formed song

that she never even worked on, that you never even knew that she wanted to do. Barf. It was so gross. But she got yelled at by her mother, so that makes up for all that. Yeah, you get yelled at by your mother and marginalized by your boyfriend

who didn't even know that you wanted to use. Can you imagine a black woman? I think she's black. She might be a black woman who's a backup singer in the late 60s is on stage and sees this white girl in the audience that just gets the music more than anyone else.

Can you imagine a backup singer would go up to this girl and meet her at a party and go, I've seen you. Yeah. And you know what? You,

you, you're not there for the band. You're not there for the drugs. You're there for the music. And then encourage this girl to become a singer, a backup singer, whatever,

encourage a white girl to like pursue her dream. I'm sorry. It was so, the whole thing was so insulting. It was, there's no way that would happen. And it was just, it's just so ridiculous.

And it feeds into that whole thing of like, no one believed in me. Like no one believed in Daisy Jones. Okay. I just don't buy it. And no one, first of all, any artist that says no one believed in you, unless you, maybe that happens sometimes where a parent really is just cruel and says awful things. But generally, I don't think Lady Gaga was getting a lot of pushback for not being talented as much as I heard her say at Lollapalooza one year of like, no one believed in me. This is for you, dad.

Just all these things of like, you've been extraordinarily talented from a young age. Maybe people were jealous of you, but no one's ever said you didn't have it. I agree. I actually agree with everything you're saying. However, and this might be like one of those old wives tales, but I did hear. Oh yeah, I heard this too.

I did hear. There was this Facebook group. There's a Facebook group that says, Stephanie Germanotta is never going to be is never going to be famous from way back when so i guess it is true so mean that actually is probably but i also heard there was a girl that was really annoying i'm sure but i also heard there was like a woman that used to bully michael b jordan and like made fun of him all the time and then tried to like tried to like talk to him on a red carpet and he

was like you were horrible to me. Oh that's what a dream. Yeah. We got to go to break and we're going to play top one bottom one when we get back. Thank you for putting up with this TV segment. If you didn't watch those TV shows, I hope it was still entertaining. We'll be right back after this. Catch John Stewart back in action on the

Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Laurie Santos, and to welcome the new year, my podcast, The Happiness Lab,

is releasing a series of happiness how-to guides to help you in 2025. I'll distill the wisdom of world-class experts into easy-to-digest, actionable tips. It's about never feeling good enough. I feel like I'm always failing. You'll learn how to handle relationships, how to be inspiring, and how to find your purpose. We make it this big pie-in-the-sky thing, and then of course we're all frustrated because no one knows how to get there. Struggling with tough emotions? We have a how-to guide. Worried that you're not enough? We got you. Self-obsessed and want to get over yourself? There's a guide for that too. The ability to approach somebody and make them experience desire for you in minutes or even

hours is a rare and rather unnecessary skill, historically speaking. The Happiness Lab's How To Season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Chris, you were about to say something. Well, I just want to say Daisy Jones is bad, but just as a palate cleanser, we watched the first two episodes of beef and it's it feels awesome right yes like i just finished it last night it is such a beautifully done show ali wants teeth but no the music but the artwork the the title cards the font the acting into everything yes

it's it's it's a fantastic you know what's cool about it? And I was talking to a TV writer yesterday about ideas that we were having to develop something. And I was saying, you know, we want characters to be flawed, obviously. Not to be like bad people because we see that. We see a lot of like they're either good or they're bad. We want, I think people are craving weird, shameful, weird. And I don't think until recently TV has gotten into that. like,

like the first time I saw on succession, um, Roman's character having a sexual relationship, kind of sexual through a door with Jerry, who is like literally geriatric in her seventies. That was so weird. And I don't think anything like that has existed before or since of that kind of relationship.

And if it has, it's probably some like art house type thing. I think Beef is weird. Beef is weird. She's masturbating with a gun. Spoiler alert. There's no, I mean, this is the first scene. That is weird. And if you were to pitch that to HBO,

I would think 15 years ago, it would be like be like no we're not doing anything like that people are willing to get weird now and i like that yeah i agree it's let's get weird let's get weird and let's get to uh top one by bottom one and let's just get into final thought top one bottom one the category is love songs love songs okay it was a debate between doing appetizers and love songs so my favorite love love song is uh loaded potato skins a classic you got me i really was like no don't start the game. God, I'm such a noob. There is a great song called Potato Chips. That goes, potato chips. Oh, how I wish potato chips. Potato chips.

Wait, you both know this? Yeah, it's a song. Well, it's a guy thing. Yeah, it's Tony Dungy's favorite song. I was going to say, this is another fucking sports male song interlude. Chris was, so originally the topic topic was love songs and then i changed it because i thought chris would probably have a hard time with love songs just because it's like there's you love them too much and it would be hard to settle on one chris loves soft soft rock

more than anyone i know um and um so i'm interested to hear what your let's start with the top love song yeah i'm sorry We're starting with bottom. Sorry. We end on top because we want to end on a good note. Oh, okay. So bottom. So for me, bottom love song? Yeah.

I haven't really thought of the exact bottom, but I would say any song by Train. Okay. Hey, Soul Sister. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Any love song by Train. Oh, I care for you.

Yes. I'll be there for you I think this is not a drive-by worthless worthless love songs worthless songs I don't know

Drops of Jupiter ugh you just don't like the specific lyrics yes I do not like I do not like the lyrics that that guy writes

that's something about she does taboo reminds me that he has like kind of current references in it. Yeah.

I do. I like that song but I like Train but I get that they're it's campy and like and they're not trying to be. Yes.

They're being sincere. It's like they at some point have to start making fun of themselves. And that Heart and Soul like cover-ish type thing that they did.

Oh yeah. It was really annoying to like cover-ish type thing that they did. Oh, yeah. It was really annoying to me. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah. What was that? Yeah. But they do crank out the hits. People seem to like them.

Yeah. No, people like Train. I'm not one of those people. Anyone else have a bottom love song? I don't like any song where a man is bragging slash promising how well he's going to take care of a woman. T.I. is whatever you like.

Oh, yeah. Anya covers it. Can you think of an example of what that would be? I can't think of a specific example because I'm not good at music, but I can sing like, oh, I will hold your hand and take you to the

you know oh wait chris you have an interesting story about uh miley cyrus's flowers oh i don't know how true this is but i would have to go back and listen but i was told so so you know, she goes, I can buy myself flowers. I can take myself dancing. I can, what's the next one? Write my name in the sand. Write your name in the sand. Talk to myself for hours or whatever it is. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's a Bruno Mars song, apparently, that Liam Hemsworth sent to her.

I should have bought you flowers and held your hand. Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance. Take you to every party. Yeah, like he has this song of like. Great song. All of hers are rebuttals to all of his, I think, in a row.

Oh, wow. That's really interesting. So I think it's also a dig to be like, you couldn't tell me your feelings. You had to like send me a Bruno Mars song. I think it's a dig on that too. But I think that's very interesting. to be like, you couldn't tell me your feelings. You had to send me a Bruno Mars song. I think it's a dig on that too. But I think that's very interesting. Do you like the song Flowers?

Because you're a Miley, Stan. Not Stan, but you like Miley. It's grown on me. But I think Wrecking Ball is phenomenal. Yeah, that's Chris's favorite song. That's not true. No, it's one of them. You love that song.

I love that song. But it's like, it would say, like, okay, okay, sorry. But it's one of them you love that song i love that song but it's like it would say like okay okay sorry but it's one of your faves current pop culture faves yeah of current music current issue because it's like seven years old yeah yeah yeah i would say that was one of your current faves okay anya um what is your um least favorite love song this song gives me such a visceral reaction when i hear it. I can't stand it, even though I like the melody. But I'm just like, I get angry when I hear it.

It's The Weeknd, The Hills. But I know it's not. I don't know that song. It's like mean. I only call you when it's half past five. Yeah, yeah. The only time that I'll be by your side. I only love it when you touch me, not feel me.

When I'm effed up, that's the real me. I know it's not meant to be a love song but it's kind of it just feels so mean he also brags about like just having slept with a different girl i don't think he's great with women i've heard he's a little shady yeah and maybe not the nicest so that doesn't surprise me can you believe he's the number one streamed artist of all time? I just don't even understand it. On Spotify, he just like... But it seems to me like comparing him to Taylor Swift or the Beatles, you would stream that stuff more.

Well, I think he had mega hits at the perfect time. So the Beatles probably aren't getting streamed as much because older people aren't streaming. Okay, that makes sense. They're playing their tape recorders. Gramophones. Yeah, that makes sense. They're tape recorders. Gramophones. Yeah, they're gramophones. Wait, there's a John Legend song

that's my least favorite because it's like, hold on, there is one, I think he's very good, but there is one that, God, what is his, what was it?

I'm with you on this one. I'm going to look it up too. I'm looking up his most famous songs. I hate this song. it's not all of me because i think that's a bad one i kind of like that one um god i'm so sorry let me just find this he's got a song called like red light or green light it's awesome um oh it was the song that you know i'm listening to all the time now not to derail this is a song uh kill bill it's the best i can't stop listening to it it's like the best song in the world you know when you first heard that song no i do we were in the car we were in uber back from dinner

with andy and becks yeah and i was singing it because i just learned it and i know all the fast parts so i was kind of like singing along to it and you go what is this and i was like it's a new scissor song she's from st louis and he was like oh i know she is but like you were like taken in the moment i remember when you heard it i was gonna send i didn't know that i was gonna send you the song because she has an acoustic version and be like will you just will you learn this one on guitar i can play it for you when we get done here that's a good song guys i'm still a fan even though i was salty hate to see you with some other broad now you happy it's the best song in the world that i'm not the one driving i'm so mature i'm so mature yeah it's so good that is one of that's that's a love song that's the best

you'd rather be you'd rather be in jail than alone i'd rather be in hell than i like i like how it ends it starts out she's like she's gonna kill her ex and his girlfriend too his new girlfriend and she's like I'd rather be in jail than alone and then at the end

she's like I'd rather be in hell cause she knows that's where she's going cause what she just did what she just did and she thinks about doing it at first

and then by the end of the song she's like I just she goes I might kill my ex and then by the end of the song

she goes I just killed my ex so you like walk through it with her it's so fucking good it's the best song in the world. Oh, I love it. I like the term salty.

Yeah. Salty, yes. In terms of modern slang, salty is great. And I don't like spill the tea anymore. I think that should be over. Yeah. I agree with both of those. What do you feel about slay?

I hate how people say it too you know slay i i mean it's i hate slay lazy lazy anyway it's describing things that aren't even that incredible it's just like i got a new sweater slay i got a new slay slay i don't like it at all but i'm gonna i'm gonna derail again Has everybody fallen in love with Frangie yet? Because, I mean, he's the greatest thing going. Yeah, people are into it. We still talk about him on my radio show. My radio show met him like five years ago.

And we still talk about bring up Frangie quarterly because of how... You did the other day. You went into a long thing. You were reading all of his Apple rankings. Apple rankings. Applerankings.com to read Brian Frangie's rankings of over how many apples at this point um less than i would like but it's dozens and dozens really how many apples are there thousands and thousands no way i went back and watched all the all the videos recently i laughed at every single one

and then i read a bunch of the descriptions on air and we got texts. Like people are like, this is the funniest thing. I love it. And Brian's one of, he's one of my favorite standups of all time. So I, you know, like I hope people love him. I've gotten to know him well.

AppleRankings.com is saved on my bookmarks. So like whenever I'm trying to like get internet on a flight, I just click. It's always the way I test if the internet is working. So I always give you a click. I have it set to my friend's website just so I give him a view when I'm checking for stuff. Brian's like looking at the stats.

He's like, why is somebody in Albuquerque? Okay, well, no. No Phoenix. I don't know what this says about me, but when you guys were talking about all those nice things, my immediate thought was like, oh God, something terrible is going to happen. I can't accept that much praise. talking about all those nice things, my immediate thought was like, oh God, something terrible is going to happen. I'm going to,

like I can't accept that much praise. I feel like something's going to happen on the, everyone's going to start hating me now. You're going to get robbed. No, I hope I didn't do that. No, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, build something up too much they gotta take it down i gotta be undercuts no my apple ranking site sucks brian stinks and if you like him you stink too i'm like that girl's rally around no people are gonna be mad at me about that i'm gonna get hate for that because i'm talking shit and you know what i probably should i don't know that that bitch but

she seems like a bitch and she seems can i just guess I think she might need to explore her sexuality because I think she is in love with Micah that's my thought who's not though I think she I think there are a lot of times and I've read about this on Reddit

in different threads I think she is in love Anya are you listening I think she is in love with her really you're drawing her yeah I have a little thing I'm drawing her I think she's in love with micah i think she might be bisexual and i think that this is a

thing and maybe i'm wrong but there is a thing that when and we've all dealt with this when you get into a relationship and you have always been the single girl and your group of friends and all of your single girlfriends also are like you're single with me and you get in a relationship, your friends freak out because they don't have their single friend anymore. They feel like there's must be something wrong with me. I'm alone. And what do they do? They can't admit to themselves that they're scared and that they're feeling like they're less than because of their friend and they're going to miss their friend because there's less time being spent with them because they're falling in love with this guy. And so what do they do? They go, I don't like him for you without any basis i mean in the end she was right about paul but it

wasn't because she was right about paul right she would have done that with any guy because she loves micah maybe as a friend maybe more but she's jealous no one would be good to lose her friend but i bet you anything that ally had friends when she met you that were like i just like i'm not like sure he's like the one and they like can't even say it because they're freaking out so much inside i mean i've done it with friends before when kirsten got a boyfriend in high school kirsten told me last week and this is news to me on a girl's trip kirsten told me that anthony her high school boyfriend, broke up with her because me. Because it was ruining her relationship with me because I was such a little gay, jealous

bitch. Whoa. Because my best friend was, and I was so embarrassed when she said that. This is 20-something years later. I was so embarrassed that Anthony was mature enough to be like, your relationship with Nikki is really important and this is getting in the way of it because I was so jealous he didn't have the words for it but that was it I was jealous that I was losing my friend and that my friend was giving blowjobs I wasn't anywhere near even kissing a boy let alone putting kissing their penis and I was jealous I was like and my anger for this woman is

probably just projecting as it always is so I have been on that side of things Anya do you agree had the same thing with my best friend in high school. A lot of feelings of guilt when I would get a boyfriend because I, well, and she did turn out gay, but not for me. But yeah, I think anytime a friend- I would disagree. She did once say-

I'm sure there were crushes along the way on you. At one point, Chyna was like, my dream for us would be to do a black and white photo shoot nude just for our friendship. And I was like, are you insane? She tells you. Please ask her this at my wedding.

Be like, what was going through your head? She, to this day, is like, I thought it'd be cool. I think it would be really neat. I get you don't want to do it. I just had this epiphany. I was that girl. But that was high school.

I don't think I would have acted that way as a 20-something. But you know what would have made me do that? An alcohol problem, which that girl clearly also has. Yeah. They were hitting it pretty hard out there. Yeah. And just like whenever Micah would just get like more kind of talking like this and like you know like baggy cheeks kind of just like do you love me paul didn't think it was more

annoying than getting a call from your fucking fiance going do you love me how much no talk to tell her that how much do you miss me do you love me that was when i go oh no this night might not be good paul didn't was not impressed and you know what he's right because don't marry a drunk and have that be the mother of your children i'm just saying if if you are thinking about getting married to a girl who gets sloppy drunk once in a while it's a progressive illness if someone gets sloppy drunk ever and like on a normal basis, it's going to get worse with age and it's not going to be good for your children. I'm just saying maybe from experience. So it just it might get in the way of things based on people I know that have drunk moms.

It like it becomes a thing and it starts out fun. Everyone loves a drunk girl when it's she's hot and young and cute and it's once a month or whatever. But when you get lonely and your kids grow up and wine becomes more of like wine o'clock. Wine o'clock. And pills. It gets messy. And then pills. Yes, and then pills.

I've seen that on TV. Yeah. All right. We didn't even get to the top favorite. What's your number one favorite love song chris i'm not gonna say my number one favorite but one why well because i don't know because for me it's for me one i think that people may have missed and i don't mean to be patronizing or haven't heard in a while patronizing well i'm i'm half british

what is your favorite so love song go down to the shoppy and pick up yeah for for the besties if you guys haven't heard this song in a while or if you've never heard it i think people should all go listen to yaz's only you like immediately what is that why have i why have you never heard told played me this song yeah it's a by Yaz. Is that the one that goes... Yes. No, no, no. That's Yaz's other song. Oh, okay. Yaz is a form of birth control I think I used in the early 2000s.

But they also make some great music. What is this Only You song? Oh, it's an amazing song. I can't believe you've never played it for me. Yeah, I only played it for, well, good moms. Oh, my God. Future good moms. GM.

My favorite love song, I was trying to think of which Taylor Swift song, and I would say it's probably one that people don't know is Daylight. It's a really good one. And yeah, I love that one. Why do you like that one? My love was as cruel as the cities I'd lived in. Everyone, something looked worse in the light. And she just talks about how things were, and then you came along and it was daylight,

daylight, daylight daylight daylight daylight it just is like it's just a and i can still see it all in my it's just beautiful and it makes you feel like you know when someone comes into your life and like everything just like lights up and you know i haven't felt that way yet but like i'm holding out no it just does when i'm feeling really good about my man i listen to that song and it's like my um it's like my chris song when we're like really good or like when we when we come out of some kind of darkness ah okay you get to listen to it once a year on my birthday after you sing me lover oh yeah and have to do it what are you gonna sing this year only you by yes

for maybe for maybe you gotta get a sin I can't believe you've got another birthday it's coming up so I know it sucks it's endless

I will let you off the hook I mean I don't require much I just want a thoughtful letter yeah but I do that yeah you do do that yeah I do that a letter where your name is maybe crossed out we don't require much. I just want a thoughtful letter. Yeah, but I do that. Yeah, you do do that. Yeah, I do that. A letter where your name is maybe crossed out.

We don't know. Or is this underlined or crossed out? That's our show for today. Thank you so much for listening for this week, actually. I'll be on the road next week in Tucson, in Vegas, and then we are off to Europe for 14 or 10, 14 cities. Wait, no 10 cities in 14 days. Berlin,

Munich, the Netherlands, Oslo, Helsinki. Um, and so a bunch of us are going to be there. I think, right.

Anya and Chris will be there. And can we really quick at Anya and Brian song? I don't think we got those. Oh yeah, sure. Yeah. Uh, your song by Elton John at the same time.

Yeah. All three at the same time. One, two, three, your song by alton john at the same time yeah you have to say it at the same time one two three your song by apple valentine okay no no you've ruined it you should yeah no what's yours no is this some death metal song are there death metal love songs uh yeah there are actually so my bottom one kind of goes along with what brian was saying it's the song uh faithfully by journey and i don't think it's a bad song it's just i was listening to it like in anticipation of like meeting this guy who was driving a long way to like spend the weekend with me and then he got there and like i liked him but not enough for a whole weekend so it's a bad idea and my top one is

This Love by Pantera it was my first like power ballad wait I don't know that one either got Maroon 5 covered it that's why I was like is it this love that would be hilarious if Noah's favorite song alright thank you guys so much for listening to the show

chris thank you for being here it was so much fun uh we will see you on tour or we'll just see you on the podcast next week uh don't be and just um dance it'll be okay no it's good i needed something i was i was looking into your eyes and I got lost. Uh, yeah, guys, just dance. We'll see you next time. Bye. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondence and contributors. It's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners,

like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation.

Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me

my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night. It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell

my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.