The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #337 The Novices
Episode Date: May 3, 2023It would have made perfect sense for Nikki to be a hypochondriac except for one thing. Much like Anya, she doesn't want pity. After doing an interview over the weekend about Joan Rivers, aging in show... biz it on top of mind. Brian has a suggestion for a quick facelift. Nikki implores women to stop moving their bikini in IG posts. Brian spent the weekend with Nikki's boyfriend at the Dodgers game. Nikki thinks a good apology needs to be forgiven, even if it's from the worst people. Anya talks about hanging with Nikki and David Spade in Las Vegas and the ubiquitous item they couldn't find anywhere. In the Final Thought, Nikki and Anya reveal the special project they are working on and the reason Anya is in St. Louis.  ——— Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian Frange: brianfrange.com More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Here's Nikki!
Yeah, Noah's out.
Noah has no voice today.
She's here with us.
Hi, it's Nikki Glaser.
It's the Nikki Glaser podcast.
Welcome to it. Another week of shows beginning right now. I'm in St. Louis, Missouri. Noah
is in Arizona with no voice. Noah, do we want to just give him a little sample?
A little bit. I mean, I could have done here, Nikki, but it's too weird.
Yeah, no wonder. What if we have new listeners? You know, they're listening for the first
time and they just hear...
Here's Nikki. Yeah well that sucks man i had a sinus infection and it traveled to my throat
that's a really good noah is it i'm working on it i have all my girlfriends have gentle angelic
voices and i do not and noah is gentle and kind in her spirit too. Although, what was it she said in when we
were in school? We can't even repeat it. Oh, we can't.
No. I don't even remember who it was about, but
it was so funny. It was, Noah can just
be so harsh sometimes because you think she's
just so sweet and everything
is just like, she's just like kind about
everything and understanding like,
well, maybe he just was feeling, you know,
a little threatened by that. And like, she's
never like that piece of shit. Like, but sometimes she is like, it threatened by that. And she's never like, that piece of shit.
But sometimes she is.
It can be really...
And then she's like, he's a disgusting bore.
Oh, yeah.
Well, Zach on Love is Blind, she famously said, he's a wreck.
And when we have all been just kind of defending him,
she just goes, ugh, he's a wreck.
It was just her on the couch in the corner,
hadn't said much
that day and it was just the, I couldn't stop
laughing. I think it was the funny, and then
she said something this weekend that was really
mean out of nowhere
and I could not stop, I'll tell you
later, we can't tell it on the pod, and it's not
because I'm trying to leave you guys out, it's just
I don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt.
And it was, and Brian, it's not about you.
It just, uh. Never you um it just uh never about
brian no never about brian only nice things about brian brian frangie's here everyone he's in la
yeah hello everybody yeah his voice is good trying to do trying to mix it up a little bit
i never lose my voice in like like a way that like makes people feel bad like yeah whenever i'm feeling
sick it's i want some sickness to like come out in my voice i mean i was a little bit like
nasally a couple weeks ago but i could still talk i want to be taken out well it was fun right when
you had your vocal surgery because you were like oh yeah hi guys it's so great to see you all hi how are you who is this woman i can
still talk like that i don't think it'll come out i don't think noah's doing this but whenever
i don't think you're doing this noah okay whenever someone loses their voice i think they're faking
it and i go just talk don't you feel that have you ever lost your voice yes yes it's like just
talk normal stop doing the voice.
Well,
people like to be sick
because they get attention
and they're just like,
I'm just like a little baby.
They just kind of like,
they just like,
you know,
clear their nose a little bit more
and go like,
a little get like
in the middle of a coughing fit.
And you're like,
I don't need to even finish this sentence,
but they go like,
wait, wait. And you go you go no just abandon it i can figure out where the bathroom is or whatever you were going to tell me um yeah people like to be sick it feels good because you
get attention i don't know how i don't have hypochondria because i love attention clearly
i chose a field where i get attention constantly and people are constantly reaffirming
we like you, we like you, laughter
laughter, how did my
psyche not go, when you get
sick, people really
feel bad for you, I guess I don't like
feeling bad for me, I don't want attention
I know, answer my own
psychoanalyze myself
I don't want attention for something I didn't work
hard for, or that doesn't seem like i
did you know like even with the surgery when i was getting a lot of attention i was like but this was
elective like it wasn't because i was gonna die if i got like i didn't want attention for it that's
why i think i can never get a facelift or anything like that because i will not accept help from
others for something that's like i want my jawline to be more snatched.
What if you need someone to
trade out your drains on your facelift?
No, but still,
they need to do that because I want to look hotter.
That's not a good enough reason.
So you'll be like, I got it. I'll do it myself.
Well, I will ask for help from my
boyfriend who will just stay quiet and be like,
I just didn't need you to do this, really.
I know that Chris, if I got a facelift, he wouldn't stop me from it. my boyfriend who will just stay quiet and be like i just didn't need you to do this really like he i
know that chris if i got a facelift he wouldn't stop me from it right because even this this
summer i was like i need a facelift before i take my special i'm gonna get an eye job and he was
like well where do you think you can fit that in like he wasn't like being like he's not saying
you don't need it you're crazy he already believes that i know he does but he's just like okay well what month do you think you
can take off work to get that done and I'm thinking June July no September my dates are
looking a little like Swift uh oh yeah it might prevent me from going to see Taylor Swift is that
what you're saying yes yes it might well I would go with drains and patches on my face. I just write 13 on them or whatever.
Or like some lyrics.
Reputation.
Yeah.
It would be my...
That's your costume.
Listen, she reinvents herself every album.
It's a facelift not reinventing yourself in the most literal way.
Yeah, I just...
I don't want...
You hate pity.
Anya hates pity
can't stand it
more than anything
especially if it's online
from a stranger
can I just say besties
don't ever go up to Anya
if she's complaining
about something on the show
and like
at the merch booth
at our shows
don't go like
hey
I'm really pulling for you
or like
I don't think your teeth
look bad at all
like don't offer
any kind of thing
that Anya
Anya may have been upset
one day on the show about something don't follow up on it't offer any kind of thing that Anya... Anya may have been upset one day on the show about something.
Don't follow up on it
and have any kind of sympathy
or like, poor Anya.
That goes to any friend,
stranger, family member, and I'm
going to say for everyone involved.
We don't have friends and family members listening. That's why I said besties.
Not just me. Do not pick up a conversation
in the middle of something,
apropos of nothing.
I have friends that do this where they'll be like, oh my god, crazy Not just me. Do not pick up a conversation in the middle of something apropos of nothing. Like, don't.
I have friends that do this where they'll be like, oh, my God, crazy about that raccoon.
And I'm like, what?
And they'll be like, Brian had the animal.
What animal was it?
Possum.
They'll just be like, dude, that possum.
Insane.
I don't hate that because I understand that people listen to podcasts like the way I watch
TV shows where they're like tracking the things that
happen and it's just it stays
insular into this thing.
Things they associate with us are things
that they hear on this podcast whereas my life is
everything outside of this podcast so
I forget some of those things.
So you appreciate it. I guess possum is too
specific but if somebody's just like
they give you something and it has absolutely no track back
for you to what they're talking about and you're like, I have no clue what you're saying.
I had one girl and it stayed with me.
Why?
So like, and I've talked about this on the podcast before, you will give them something
vulnerable and then they'll use it against you.
Not intentionally.
Like, they'll try to like buddy up with like,
yeah, and I could tell you were really high
that one time when you,
like, I'll be like,
I told you I was high
during that performance or whatever.
Like, I think one time I was struggling
with like weed or whatever.
And I revealed that one show
that I did not do well at.
I was really high.
I smoked too much weed.
And she goes, we saw that show.
It was very clear.
You were very high.
And I go, I gave you that.
You would not have known.
You just thought I sucked.
You don't need to be like, you were so high or whatever.
I bet John Mulaney is dealing with a lot of that now.
I knew you were high during that Seth Meyers interview.
Yes, yes.
Where it's like, no, you didn't.
You didn't.
You just thought maybe something was a little off,
but don't act like you are Betty Ford over here.
You don't know when people are fucked up.
I do the same thing.
Where Taylor Swift, she was
broken up. And I go, I could have
when I was in Arlington, I knew
something was off. I do the same thing
so I don't fault anyone really for it.
But she seems like she loves that.
She would love if fans were trying to piece things together
about her life.
I would guess she does not.
I think she cares that people care she likes
that people care but i don't think she wants people to like she doesn't care for me going like
i need to go to her i need to spend thirteen thousand dollars to be eight feet from her and
offer a face of like i love you why is your face covered in patches I had to get this up for Ellen
you're number one
no people said it to me this weekend
they go
what was her name Monique
shout out to Monique who was like
and by the way you're the best Nikki
you're the best
I screamed that at Taylor a couple times
you're the best
you're the best I didn't see Taylor a couple times. You're the best! You're the best!
I didn't see Taylor this weekend.
I was sad that
I didn't because she was in Atlanta
and she did three shows.
And her secret songs
choices were...
If those songs, any of the songs she did
for her secret songs this weekend would have been
the one that was eight feet from me.
Listen, I'm happy I got Begin Again. Great song song i've learned it on the guitar since i've become
obsessed with it it's a little like i was already into it but she did the other side of the door
and then last night she did i bet you think about me which are two of my favorite songs i would have
you i wouldn't be here right now i would have died i would have died let it died. Drains and my face. Blogged.
Aneurysm.
Dead.
But Anya Marina is here in studio with us if you can't tell that she's not via Zoom.
Brian is in Los Angeles.
Yeah, hello.
And Brian, hello.
Brian is in Los Angeles.
Noah is in Arizona.
Anya is here in studio. She was with me all weekend.
So we were in Arizona actually this weekend.
In Tucson.
Beautiful city.
On Thursday night.
Loved it.
Something so strange and magical.
Really?
Cacti.
The crystal desert.
A lot of alien activity.
It was gorgeous.
You used to be underwater millions of years ago?
The air is like the same temperature
as your
oh as your body?
so you feel like you don't exist
yeah it's really cool
you did say that as we were walking to the show
the green room was like in a garage behind
the venue like you had to walk through a parking lot
to get to the green room it was separated
never had that happen before
and we walked outside to go to the show
and Anya said, I love when it's the same
temperature as your skin.
And I was like, whoa, I don't exist.
Like when it is, you kind of
don't, it's like a very meditative state.
I want to go to that place wherever it is.
Is it the Salton Sea? I don't know.
Or is it in Jerusalem where you
float in the Dead Sea?
The Salton Sea is way different. It's like
poisoned. It's in San Diego or something.
You're like en route to San Diego.
Okay. No, Jerusalem.
But where you just float because there's so
much salt in the water, right? Yeah, and it's
like matches the same as your butt.
Yeah. Okay. But Nikki killed. We saw
Noah in person. It was
so cool. It was fun. It was a hang. Noah came
to a photo shoot I had beforehand that was... Oh, yeah. Tell us
what happened. Tell us the result of the
photo shoot. Why were you gasping at the
newspaper? Oh, well, I
didn't come up with a headline yet. He's going to send me
all the pictures of the gasp, and then
I'm going to come up with the headline. But I was thinking
I wanted to have...
Did I tell you already what I wanted? I wanted
to say
aging female comic finds a way
to get naked and not have it be about getting naked like aging comic finds an excuse to get
naked like i wanted to address what's going on which is like whenever this one's naked with
something just little in front of them it's like you just want to be naked and you couldn't get
naked so you have to come up with a way to get naked.
You could be like exhibitionist comedian, aging exhibitionist comedian finds a way to get naked.
Yeah.
Like, I just wanted to just call out exactly what I know it is and that anyone, this is my whole life, is like everything that I do.
I'm so like, if it's cringe, I want to call it out.
And so before someone else can make fun of it,
but I know that if I saw it,
I'd go like,
Ooh,
look at her.
Look at that girl trying to be hot and using this as like a way to be hot.
I don't think that a lot of people want to be nude.
I wouldn't think that if I saw a picture of someone nude,
I wouldn't be like,
Oh,
this girl's dying to get naked.
Yes,
you would. Really? What? Why else would she do it i don't know because a guy pressured
her into it like that that doesn't i mean that does happen but like that happens with young
girls who are hot and everyone wants to see their bodies with women that are like pushing 40
we need an excuse to get hot we need i think it's cool i don't think there's anything wrong about it
is it to be celebrated do you think you're gonna get celebrated for it no you just want to you're
grasping on to this thing that's flying away from you every day and falling off your body every day
you're grasping on like this it might be the last day i'm hot or the last day I'm fuckable. And so it's just, please world, look at me like this
because my whole life since I was 20,
I've been looked at like this
and now I'm losing it 20 years later.
It's freaking me out.
Please see me as this.
Don't forget me as this.
When the photographer, when he was taking your photos
and you had all these outfit changes
and you looked stunning,
you just know how to work the camera. I want to say,
well,
I've gained 15 pounds.
So it was a rough day,
but yes,
I felt the same way.
I was like,
wow,
I wish I took like more photos,
maybe even like professionally done photos when I was younger,
because like now there's a lot of like creases.
And Avi took this photo of me with your mom's friend,
Kathy under like the worst stage light
ever and i like almost wanted to chop my head off i know dude some of that stage lighting
can be brutal it's all about lighting i mean if you've seen any of the instagrams where girls go
i love the girls that show this is me two seconds before and now this is me relaxed body with
different lighting different angle of the camera and their butt looks so big they're they're tiny
little waist and then the camera angle changes lighting changes and they're a normal unlovable
just kidding but am i i mean uh you're like you to me to me, I feel unlovable when I look disgusting.
I mean, that's the thing.
It's like, your body doesn't work any less better when you look not hot.
Like, you're still functioning human.
The reason we want to stay hot is because we want love from others.
And people go, that's so sad.
It's like, why is it sad?
It's true.
Hot people get more attention.
They get more protection.
People care about them
more and thus you will be rescued and like if there's people will care about you more i just
there's nothing wrong with wanting to stay hot you just want people to love you it helps your
career too yeah which which helps me get money which helps me take care of the people i love it
all comes down to like i want to be loved or me having a lot of money
makes more people depend on me
equals they'll stay around me and like me more
and I won't be alone.
Everything that I do to look hot,
the pursuit of hotness is not
because I want dicks inside me penetrating my body.
I want so much cum in me.
It's like, I want people to like me.
And is that such a crime?
Like I got really upset about it this weekend
because I did a documentary about Joan Rivers
where I was offering my commentary about her.
It is a series called The Dark Side of Comedy.
So it's talking about all of, I don't know.
I watched her documentary the night before I shot it
and it's so good.
It's for free on YouTube.
It's called A Piece of Work.
It is so good.
I saw it 12 years ago,
but it's so much more resonant now with me but she was the first person to be open about her plastic
i don't want to say the first person but like one of the first celebrities to be very open about
having facelifts and everything whereas they all everyone else lies and so she got the brunt of all
the jokes yeah of like because trailblazer and she fucked up her face it's like all she wanted
was to be pretty and to have people think she's pretty not and she fucked up her face it's like all she wanted was to be
pretty and to have people think she's pretty not because she wanted to be pretty it's just
it equals love and why is that so sad why is that so embarrassing why like if you really
get to the root of it the kardashians just want to be loved they don't yeah brian they and they
also want to alienate everyone else so like you can't ever look as good as me.
You want to be on the top so that you get
into the lifeboats before everyone else.
Women and children first because we want to fuck women
and children.
I'm serious.
The world is filled with trolls and
pedophiles
and when you
do something like that to yourself,
it is vulnerability
and the trolls latch onto that. It's just an opportunity for them to attack you. And when you do something like that to yourself, it is vulnerability.
And the trolls latch onto that.
It's just an opportunity for them to attack you when they wanted to attack you no matter what you did.
Yes.
Because if she didn't have it done, this is what happens with plastic surgery.
If you don't have it done, you look old and you kind of get less attention and less work, right?
If you do have it done, you also get less work because you look freakish and no one wants to put that in a movie.
And you get judged for being so desperate.
It's a pick me kind of thing.
Like you're needy.
So you can't really win either way.
And people, I just am so tired of this.
What did she do to her face?
She ruined her face.
And I've said this before.
She didn't want to ruin her face
it was like that wasn't her goal she wasn't like trying to maryland manson and like make you hate
the way she looks and like challenge the way you know like some people do try to do body
modification to like alienate themselves but it also is a cry for help and love and attention
if someone like gets a lizard horn put on the middle of their head,
or, you know, face tattoos like up the wazoo,
it's like a cry for help.
Yeah, they're like, ask me about my mental health.
I have a surefire way to make you look more attractive
that you can do at home for free.
Okay.
Oh, what is this?
No, I have it.
No, it's not a joke.
I have a new thing.
Okay, okay.
What is it?
We'll find out right after the break, after this.
I can't wait to find out.
I think you're trolling us.
We'll find out.
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Listen to Crems as part of the My Gulura Podcast Network.
Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Stereo Podcast where I discuss entertainment, sports, politics and anything and everything
that catches my attention. I am here to call it as I see it and there's a whole lot of things
catching my eyes these days. Here's a clip from one of my favorite episodes.
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The movie is The Apprentice, and the movie is about young Donald Trump and his apprentice,
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Both are real characters.
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All right, we're back. Brian Frangie has a surefire thing you can do at home for free,
did you say?
That's absolutely free, and you can do it at home.
To make yourself more attractive.
Does it involve pancakes
does it involve like a chair sit up
or something like a chair push up
no I know it's hanging upside down
hanging yourself
your poop will drain from your body
and you will be svelte
you'll be 5 pounds lighter
it involves your tongue
is this mewing?
I've even been talking to my mom.
Yeah, it is.
It's mewing.
Yeah.
You already know about mewing?
Kirsten shared it on the girls chat once where you go like, mew.
No, no, no.
You don't know.
That's not what it is.
Your chin comes out more and then you cut down.
You don't make that noise.
What are you talking about?
Well, that's why it's called mewing.
You have to go mew.
She's misinformed you.
Mew.
Mew. Irapay. Irapay. I know. Mewing makes me sick. make that noise what are you talking about well that's what it's called mewing if you look at a diagram of someone mewing it's one of the grossest things you've ever seen in
your life if i hear this word one more time i'm gonna poop what will you okay i would prefer that
than continuing this mewing conversation okay wait what is it brian will you demonstrate
mewing is all about your tongue position here's my here's a question for you where normally where is your tongue in your mouth up nikki's ass
yeah is it up your own right so where in your mouth is your tongue well this is interesting
because i take voice lessons and the tongue is the very most important thing um in your voice
control and your your tongue is supposed to be
relaxed and just tucked into bed
just in your mouth, just not really
moving and just relaxed.
Where in your mouth? On the bottom of your mouth?
The bottom. Just nestled in its bed
in your teeth.
The teeth is
like a bed and your tongue
is in that bed.
The teeth is like the bed frame.
That is the wrong place for your tongue to be hot.
Okay.
Where should be,
if you want to be hot,
your tongue,
if you want to be hot and you don't want to clench at night and you don't
want to grind at night,
your tongue needs to be on the roof of your mouth.
Yep.
I just felt my whole neck go up.
I felt it go down.
Look,
hold on.
Look, relax. And yeah. Okay. Now I can see your profile. Rest in the bed. Put your tongue in the bed. my whole neck go up i felt it go down look no wait hold on look relax and yeah okay now i can
see your profile rest in the bed put your tongue in the bed okay now put the tongue on your soft
palate on the top of your mouth or whatever the fuck you just got a mini facelift really yeah
it's not even just instantaneous there's science um put it on the bed put it into bed okay now put it on the top
whoa why did that do that oh my god is it amazing you wait so you should always do that in photo
shoots the proper the proper tongue position is you make a uh it's almost like suction to the
roof of your mouth and you cluck like a chicken like like that like that clacking noise if you
you want your tongue to be flat
Against the roof of your mouth
Your tongue should not be touching your teeth
It should be before your teeth
All the way flat
Even the back of your tongue
And that's where it should be 24-7
And if you do it
How are you supposed to breathe?
If you breathe through your nose
If you breathe through your mouth
Your chin will sag
That's why you're supposed to tape your mouth at night So you breathe through your nose You If you breathe through your mouth, your chin will sag. That's why you're supposed to tape your mouth at night.
Yes.
So you breathe through your nose.
You keep your tongue up high.
And they've scientifically proven that over the course of time,
especially if you're a teenager,
your face structure, your chin will be more defined
and your face will get pushed out
and you will be 100% more attractive.
And it's completely free.
And if you just pay $14.99 a month for my system, I can teach it to you at home.
Okay.
This is blowing my mind, but I just know I'm never going to do this.
This is almost like posture, you know, like I can't keep it in check.
And there's all these like things you can buy where you have a little sensor on the
back here and it beeps if you need to sit up more straight.
But, um yeah i remember
when nikki had done dancing with the stars had just finished it or maybe it was no i was doing
the alexander technique that was not dancing with the stars related yes it was no it wasn't
alexander technique was when i was sitting straight up no no you don't even know what i'm
gonna say i kind of do okay no you don't right we're walking down the street in new york city
and she was like glab taught me how to walk like. I know how to do that. Put your feet first.
Point your toes first. She was walking down the street
and I was like, this is hard.
I tried to do it for 10 steps.
It's impossible.
Alexander Technique is the same way.
I can show you if you want.
Here's what Nikki was doing.
He got so mad at me.
That looks stupid. It looks like you're on a tight me. Well, that looks stupid.
It looks like you're on a tight walk.
You look like a Nazi.
That's like a Nazi goose step.
Yeah, you do.
You look like you're goose stepping.
Instead of you first, you go like this.
Well, you don't have to point it so, but yeah, if you just glide and you land with the ball
of your foot first, it looks way sexier.
Also, the number one thing is to, my hips are always like out, like forward.
Well, they don't lie.
That's for sure.
Oh, they're fucking fibbing all day.
Mine go out and I kind of like bend like a banana,
like a forward banana when I stand.
I'm always like this.
Oh, same.
That's like the arched back thing.
But if you stand like this.
Right. If you stick your buns out. Oh same That's like the arched back thing But if you stand like this Right
If you stick your buns out
And you go back like this
And you are like a centaur
You look so hot
There's all these tricks
And then you go do that thing
Where you're thinking
Like that girl from The Bachelorette
Or The Bachelor
What do you mean?
That thing where you just
Keep turning your head
Oh yeah
Yeah you tilt your head
Can you imagine a girl
Who would tilt her head stand walk on the
heels of her feet or the end and do the tongue thing at the same time so she's mewing oh my new
thing is like girls in bikinis on instagram always have to like fuck with the straps and they always
have to like whenever they're doing anything they always have to like adjust it's like put the
bikini on and just wear it we always see them go like this with the straps they have have to like adjust it's like put the bikini on and just wear it we always
have to see them go like this with the straps they have to go like like this on the bottom and
they're like kind of readjusting it's like well you know what that is wearing this all day what
do you mean the same as what you talk about with like the little thing on the lip yes where their
lip just moves it's like um they're boomerangs you know like a little repeat over and over and
it's just them like kind of taking it off taking it off. It's mimicking a sexual
thing. It's like the thing on the lip is...
Again, they just want people to love them and this
just works better than just standing still
and not adjusting your swimsuit because I guess
the adjusting makes you feel like they're taking it off
in some way. And also it's movement.
It tracks the eye.
You got to keep everything moving.
Well, Brian, I just want to say you
this weekend went... You've, you were with, you've seen
my boyfriend more than I have this weekend.
That's right.
He was in LA.
I forgot that he even went there.
All of a sudden he's in LA and I'm like, oh, hi.
I didn't.
Cool.
We're close by kind of because I was in Nevada.
But you went to a Laker game with him?
No, no, no.
Dodger game last night.
Yeah.
Dodgers Cardinals, the Dodgers versus the St. Louis Cardinals.
They happened to be in town.
How tired was my boyfriend?
Um, he didn't seem very tired.
Did he say he was tired?
Yeah.
Well, I just, I don't want to, I don't want to blow up his spot.
If he was good, I'm glad he wasn't tired.
If he told you, he was tired.
I think he said my, your boy is tired. Oh yeah. With a lot of R's. Well, you know, I think he he wasn't tired. If he told you he was tired. I think he said, your boy is tired.
With a lot of R's.
But I think he was just trying to pack it in.
He's able to ratchet it up at any time
if the circumstance is right.
Yeah, did you have fun? What did you guys do?
Tell me all the scoop. Did you talk about me?
What happened? What did he say?
We pretty much talked about you exclusively.
He did say that you talked about me
with his friend Nick too.
At the end of the night. he was like, they love my girl.
And it makes me, they really, like he loves when people approve of me to him, which I don't hate either.
Yeah.
But apparently I got some approval.
Yeah.
He asked for my hand in marriage from you guys or something.
Brian has to give the green light.
He asked, he asked like,
what's the best way to propose to someone that you are in love with?
And Brian's like,
put your tongue on the roof of your mouth.
Wait two more years until she feels ready.
Yeah.
It's like everyone always thinks I'm just waiting around and like,
why hasn't he proposed yet?
In it's me. Hi, I'm not ready. it's me hi i'm not ready it's me
you know how in baseball they change the rules this year where you're only allowed to have 20
seconds or 15 seconds in between each pitch so the pitch happens quicker i said the games are not
so the games aren't so long i suggested that proposal. I said, maybe you should put a timer.
Oh, that would be great.
I don't want him to do it at a big thing.
I don't want it to be a big spectacle.
I just, and he better tell me beforehand.
I think most people, when they get married,
they have a talk like, you'll say yes, right?
Like we're already living together.
This is like, we've talked about getting married.
We like know it's in the air.
No one just like springs it on people yeah he and he would not do that and by the way he's not it's not like i'm the one that's like i don't want to get married yet he
i don't think wants to either but we both talk about it like it's in it's in the air but if he
were to propose i would go what are you like i would be mad because i didn't have any heads up
you know i mean i didn't have a heads up. You know what I mean?
I didn't have a heads up, but I guess... You knew!
You were living together for years at that
point. That wasn't... And Matt knew
like from day one that that's what I
wanted. What? Matt knew
from day one that that's what I wanted. That's what you wanted to
marry him. Even before you guys were together, you would
have married him. So, yeah.
I just sent him an email.
You don't want to be surprised? you don't want to be surprised you wouldn't
want to be surprised no i wanted to be i would like it to happen um when i i don't see it coming
but i don't want it to happen where it's like we haven't talked about like i don't want a
glimmer of a thing of like babe i don't think i'm ready yet like if he did it today i'd go
i'd say yes for the people watching because I didn't want to embarrass him.
Yeah.
But I'd go,
babe,
this is going to be a long engagement.
Like we got it.
We got to pass through some hoops before.
I mean,
he would never do it right now.
He's not an idiot.
Like we're both not,
we haven't,
we,
I just would want to both be on the same page of like,
yes,
let's get married.
I'm ready to be engaged.
And then you can take the year to decide when to do it.
I'm not going to be waiting around.
But yeah, I want it to be special.
He'll do something very special.
But you don't want something in public.
No, at that point, I wouldn't mind something in public.
But you want the jumbotron.
I wouldn't mind that if he knows that I'm game.
Got it.
I thought you were going to say gay.
If he knows I'm gay, then lock it down
because it'll be harder for me to ever pursue those interests
if I ever ring on my banger.
Yeah.
So you had a good time?
There was a will you marry me on the Jumbotron at the Dodgers game,
but it was so fast.
There was no...
I got to assume it was a joke.
Like someone said, oh, I'll do it as a joke.
So my friends, he's, will you marry me?
And then like, ha ha.
But then is it really a joke?
Are you trying to, right?
But it went up so fast.
There was no reaction to it.
I can't imagine the person even saw it.
Can you imagine you set up a, will you marry me on the Jumbotron?
And then the person doesn't see it.
Like they go to the bathroom and then it's up there.
I think that's a great story.
I would rather that than have it all go right.
I always want to get on
the kiss cam oh I'm dying I always kind of casually when I'm at games like the kiss cams up and I'm
kind of just like trying to like I Chris is sometimes like maybe talking to me or someone
next to me is talking to me but I'm like dead focused like I'm ready for the kiss cam in the
case it happens like you're applying lip gloss yeah like or if there's like a cam where it's
like dancing where you're like doing the twist I'm like doing the twist like kind of like a little bit just just let the camera op know
like hey that girl would be game if we put it on her yeah like i'm always looking to get on
to perform in some way are you incognito at those events or are you like i'm out i'm no i'm out i'd
like to be i like i like getting recognized we had a friend. It happened once at Taylor Swift, both concerts.
I only got recognized once at each time, which is perfectly fine.
That's wild to me because you're so recognizable and tall, too.
Well.
Like, I saw Nikki get recognized.
We were walking through a restaurant, and we went to dinner with David Spade in Vegas,
and I saw at least one family completely lose their shit. At least one. But I think there were more people. Usually you say at least two, but you go at least one family completely lose their shit.
At least one.
But I think there were more people.
Usually you say at least two, but you go at least one.
It wasn't less than one.
We're walking through a restaurant.
We see a cute blonde girl who's probably, I would say, like 29, 30, right there.
And you just see her eyes bug out.
And then she looks at her whole family.
And I see it in slow motion.
She goes, that's Nikki Glaser. And they just all turned around it was so cute she was just completely
freaked out and so starstruck it was cute oh that's nice um yeah it happened like i feel it
happens sometimes but i just don't i don't i don't want to ruin it for them by seeing them so i try
to like not but you're not like a sunglasses hat type of girl at those events
no sometimes well walking around the casino this weekend I was in Vegas with Spade at the Venetian
thank you to all the besties who came out and also to all the besties that came out to the Tucson
shows um I don't want to be my my poster is everywhere I don't want to be recognized in that
circumstance because I look so shitty and I don't want them to say something mean about the show they saw maybe last
night. I'm just avoiding
if at a meet and greet people never say
anything mean but like if you just run into people that were
like in the elevator like yeah we got
tickets to your show.
Pretty good. Like they could say something
I don't want. I'm just trying not to get
insulted. Glad I didn't bring the kids.
So that's when I'll wear a baseball cap with
the sunglasses is to just not deal with that.
Or I wear baseball cap sunglasses
to not talk to anyone.
Not because I'm
Nikki Glaser comedian,
but like I don't want
anyone talking to me.
Right.
And it really shuts you off
to the world.
And it's,
yeah, it's just.
But if you're out like
at a Lakers game or something.
No, I would never.
I would want to be recognized there
because it's never going to be overwhelming for me.
I'm not that famous.
It's always going to be a treat.
But I don't want to be recognized
if you've seen my show that night before
and you're a person in a bikini
smoking a cigarette in an elevator.
Have you guys ever heard someone talking about your show
right after you play?
Like in a bathroom or something?
Yes.
And I told the girl,
I go, stop talking, stop talking.
We walk among you. Yeah, I go, stop talking, stop talking. We walk among you.
Yeah, I was in the stall next to her.
And she was horrified, as I would be too.
But she felt really bad.
And it's okay.
I can suck sometimes.
And her name was Grace.
Wait, what?
Oh, yeah, the headphones.
No, it's, yeah, that's devastating.
I literally, when I walk out of, when I used to do clubs,
and you would have to go to the bathroom,
and the crowd would be in there,
I'd go in the bathroom, I'd plug my ears,
and I'd go, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
Yeah, same.
Like, I can't even hear you.
They always would be talking about the opening act,
and I'd be like, please don't, na-na-na,
I just don't want to hear it.
Just close your ears and go, na-na-na-na-na-na,
because they'll do it.
They will, and if you're walking out somewhere,
they'll rank, if you're ever on a show with a bunch of people, and you're all, like, the, no, no, no. Because they'll do it. They will. And if you're walking on somewhere, they'll rank.
If you're over on a show with a bunch of people and you're all like the same level of fame,
they'll have to say who they liked better.
And then you get all that information.
But being the opener, you can go into the bathroom and do like recon because then you hear, I hear people talk about like the headliner.
And then I know what the feel of the crap, what the pulse is.
Oh.
Oh, pre-show?
God. Anytime. I, pre-show?
Anytime.
I never want you opening for me.
I don't want you getting that recon.
Jesus Christ, Brian.
You don't tell me anything that you hear.
Yeah, the amount of times that you hear as an opener,
you were better than the headliner.
If you're a listener and you ever think the opener is better than the headliner,
sometimes they are,
but it's because you saw the way there was no bar for the there was no bar at all you have no expectations for the opener so they could only exceed your expectations if anything you think they're
gonna suck openers so they're good you're of course they're gonna be more funny than you
think they are and secondly they did less time 20 minutes they can they can choose all their
greatest hits you've never seen them before so they can do all their old material there's a lot
of things conspiring against you as a headliner to make that opener much better than you and so
i was knowing that i'm never hurt but i am hurt a little bit that they walk away and then they
tell everyone the opener was better than her not knowing. Not knowing all of the things. It's weird like at the cellar
where there's a lineup
of six or seven people.
That's when you can pit us
against each other.
Oh yeah.
You can because we're like
each doing 15 minutes
unless someone is like
working on a Fallon set
or something
or like looking at their notes
and that's just a cop out.
If a comedian ever says
I'm doing new stuff
or looks at their notes
they're trying to mitigate
against you thinking they suck.
And so now they have an excuse for why they suck.
Anytime a joke doesn't go well for me and it's a new joke,
I always go, that's a new joke.
And then it buys me something that everyone forgives me for it.
Yeah.
As opposed to just sticking it and being like, well, that sucked.
Yeah.
You can do that with music too.
Yeah.
I still don't know the chorus.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, yeah. But at Yeah. So, um,
yeah,
but at the cellar,
you always are going to get ranked and that's another place I go.
Then,
then,
then,
then,
then,
then.
Yeah.
They like to do it sometimes in front of other people.
Like you are the best of all of you guys.
It's like,
don't say it in front of the other comics.
People just start,
I guess people don't,
maybe they wouldn't care themselves if that happened to them. Do people not
get insecure and want to be the best
all the time or is that just a thing we have?
I think they care. I think they would care.
I think they're just excited. They're excited to say
you were awesome.
It's the same thing when the thing you hate where people
tell you when someone said something
negative to ingratiate
themselves with you. I feel like them saying
you were the best one by the way. They're almost whispering it loudly. I themselves with you. I feel like them saying, you were the best one,
by the way. They're almost whispering it
loudly. I've done that. I said it to Chris Rock once.
You were the best. But I said it when I knew
no one else could hear.
And I knew... By the way,
if I'm the best, fucking tell me I'm the best.
I want to hear it so much. But don't say
that you're the best to someone who's next to me
and I can hear it. And I don't even
want you to whisper something to them because I know
what you're whispering to them.
You could be whispering, hey, your shoe's untied, but I will
think you're saying you were the best,
she sucked.
It's just like incredible insecurity.
Don't compliment someone I'm with
and be like, oh, when I saw you, I was
like, you looked incredible.
I'm like, I'm right here.
Throw me a bone.
Devastating.
Devastating.
My whole life is just don't.
I mean, it happens to me all the time where people get complimented for being hot around me.
And it's just.
And that's why I dress like shit, I think.
I'm not even joking you.
I just uncovered this. I don't like trying during the day to look cute. I either try
100% to look cute or 0% because I want to mitigate, again, using that word, against people
not thinking I'm hot because then I chose it. It's a new song I'm working on. This is a new joke.
I'm not trying right now. This is an old scrappy piece of paper with some notes written on it.
This outfit is not, I'm not trying. So that's why i'm not hot because if i tried i would be hotter than my friend who you keep saying is so hot also we're living in a time where everyone's allowed to
well women especially are allowed to dress ugly it's kind of encouraged like ugly jeans ugly big
fat a double x i've never sold so many double xl
shirts in the merch booth as yeah because they're like dresses yeah everybody's just buying all
girls in la walk around like they're at a sleepover party yeah they do yeah it's really
i mean i was watching like clips of esther recently i like, she is so fucking cute. And she's just wearing big
t-shirts and big jeans.
And she looks seven years
old. And I'm like, that's hot.
No, because that's what
style is. It's stylish.
It's Billie Eilish
stylish. Can I say
the first time that I ever did
a stand-up at a club,
people were so upset that they wrote letters.
No way.
Yeah.
I posted at the-
Dearest Jared.
They wrote letters.
Your club.
Wait, to the Comedy Attic?
Yes.
Is that where you did-
I was hosting my first ever hosting at the Comedy Attic.
It was for Michael Winslow from Police Academy Movies,
does the sound effects.
He was the first weekend there, right?
First weekend ever. I was the first comic
to ever step on that stage.
That stage. Oh my god.
And I hosted it and I was
so bad
that people
in the audience wrote letters
saying how upset they were
and that I should never...
Do you remember any of the jokes that
caused this? Why were you so bad?
I was also wearing a suit.
You were wearing a suit?
I was wearing a suit, and I went by Brian M. Frangie
because I thought the middle initial...
I thought, you know what?
People might not remember my name,
but they'll remember that I had a middle initial.
Oh, that's so cute and stupid.
I like that.
And I had my suit, and I would talk like this.
And your suit, because you think you got to have a thing.
You don't know who you are when you first start comedy.
You're grasping at any kind of sort of identity and thing that will direct you in some way.
Because when you can talk about anything and you don't even know who you are.
You're so young.
You were what?
19?
Yeah.
I don't know.
19 probably. 19 or Yeah. I don't know. 19 probably.
Yeah.
19 or 20.
I nailed it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're wearing a suit.
Like it's just, and what were your jokes?
Do you have, you had, I'm sure there was one or two that were okay.
I'm ashamed.
I'm very ashamed.
I mean, you got to keep in mind, this was like, what year was this?
You know, this was a different time in comedy, but I did some jokes that I would would i would be very ashamed to repeat now one of them oh for sure one of them was uh
probably anti-fat people uh yes and i think that was one of the letters i got was there was an
obese person in the audience who said that i offended them okay um and then you know i had this joke this is so it
must be tough going to a club as an obese person you know there's gonna be fat jokes in a night of
comedy especially in the early aughts yes yes now i think we're a little bit more sensitive to that
but even now they still happen it's just got to be real like they're on tv constantly same with asian men
with small penis like small penis jokes like i would never go to a club a comedy club if i was
an asian man because i if i'm on a date because i know someone's gonna make a small penis asian
you just sit in the back though no because you're with a date and she's hearing that and not that
there's anything wrong with having a small penis i don't think there is but it's just like it's so
hack and you just know you're gonna hear it the way that i didn't want to
watch snl as a kid because i knew that they might make a joke about santa not being real and i
didn't want my sister to find out i would never watch snl because i knew what you're gonna get
into oh my god like okay go on brian so you had a fat joke you had a i had a joke about how um you
get canceled the whole thing i would be cancelled every single joke
me too
my jokes used to be littered with
things that you profane
speech that you cannot use now
but we could say back then
that's the thing like
cancelled culture
I wouldn't have said it if it meant
what it means now I didn't know
so ease up it up pervasive in the
culture i wasn't someone who was trying to like make people to like i wasn't doing hate speech
that wasn't like my what i was trying to do but looking at it now it looks like it would have been
because i used some words that you just cannot use now oh i had a song that i'm i had songs i'm so
taylor swift has a song about getting revenge on a guy by telling all
his friends,
telling all my friends,
you're gay.
It's a lyric.
Yeah.
And then she slut shames a girl in another song.
And like,
there's,
that was a different,
it was a different time.
And I know that's like a song that,
you know,
that she's on,
she only made two missteps out of like her 400 songs.
Yeah.
Up until like, I would say,
as late as 2015,
rape was a punchline.
There's a college humor video
from 2015
where the last...
I literally closed with the word rape the other night.
It was the final sentence I said.
I forgot what it was.
Maybe it's coming back.
I said, blank raped me.
Thank you, good night said blank raped me. Why can't I remember that?
Thank you, good night.
It's me.
Well, that's actually not in the same
spirit as what it used to be. In 2015,
I remember watching this
college humor video in
2020 or something that was from 2015
and the last line in the video
was like, let's go rape that
person. And that was like a 5 million
view video no one scoffed at
it at the time but back then
that was like a legitimate punchline
oh yeah I mean
I've got some like old footage
of myself and I just sent it to
because they wanted to sprinkle old footage of me
throughout or just in
one part of Welcome Home Nikki Glaser my reality
show that aired one
season last year um they wanted and so i and i didn't want to watch it it was from 2004 right
five oh these open mics and so i just sent like hours of material that this one guy found because
he used to tape every open mic at the stanford and sons comedy And they, the next day, were like, you don't want that to get out.
Like, you should not be sending that willy-nilly.
And I was like, what?
And they were like, there was some,
like, they told me some of the words I used,
and I was like, oh, yeah!
Like, so embarrassed.
I would never have sent that to them
thinking that I would ever have a joke
with that word in it.
And then they told me the joke,
and I was like, oh, yeah,
I definitely used that word. Because, because first of all I was using the word
because it's an insane word to use the r word no I'm using that now that's back in my act I have
I'm gonna get I'm I'm begging to be canceled but I also like can stand by any now I'm so aware of it
right if I choose to use the r word it's about the r word
i'm not talking about that i'm not making fun of what we used to refer to people as that word
i'm talking about why the word itself but the word i used was um a slur okay and it's not a nice one and it's and but it was it i was using it because it was so
absurd to call someone that and and but so you're being ironic i was being slightly ironic but i
also would never use that word now in a million you couldn't right now even thinking it in my head
it's not the n word please don't think it's n-word i was never that stupid thank god but that was a word that white comics were dropping to be edgy right and not to offend
or like because they and it's like how could you not know that would offend people because everyone
around it's just like it was i don't i'm not making excuses i mean i am making excuses i i can
but here's the difference between me and most of woke America.
And I hate using that word because I do think being woke is good.
Like you're waking up to sensitivities of people.
It's not the worst thing.
But it's like, accept an apology, everyone.
If someone can look back at something they did and be horrified, that's enough for me.
I've always said if Trump one day wakes up and goes oh my god i'm so fucking embarrassed what did i do i inspired that insurrection i had so many
words of hate that uh like divided this if he was just all of a sudden had an awakening
i would forgive everything and I am not joking
everything because
we're allowed to his brain
is fucked up in a way that mine is not
like if he suddenly hits
his head and realizes like what the fuck was I doing
but I'm seeing
but there is a way
he literally could get a concussion
or some kind of brain thing because whatever
he is
I disagree with anyone who has that kind of like you know that kind of mentality to me has something
wrong with their brain yeah and i have empathy for that of like if i was born with that brain
with those parents in that town and went to school at the same places,
I would be just as racist as them.
So they can't really help it.
This is all my thing of no free will.
But I just would forgive anyone that is sorry.
But then, and I've said this before, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself.
But when someone apologizes and says,
I can't believe I did a joke with that word in it.
I am horrified.
I apologize to anyone who was offended.
I am so, so sorry.
People go, she just wants her show back. that word in it i am horrified i apologize to anyone who was offended i am so so sorry people
go she just wants her show back she just wants she just wants to be famous again she wants everyone
to like her again that's the only reason she's saying that it's like can it be both can't i want
my career back that was taken from me for this use word i used 20 years ago and can i also be sorry
why can't it be both why is it so bad to want things back that you lost?
Why is that so bad to want your career back?
But we all go, she's just apologizing
because they want it back.
It's like, why can't it be both?
If you cheat on your girlfriend or boyfriend
and you realize how bad it was what you did,
can't you be sorry for it
and also want your girlfriend back
and not just be saying sorry to get that back? Do difference yeah but i think now no one no one believes any apology
because everyone thinks they're trying to get something back it's like of course they are
why are we this way because we're supposed to be so um not christian but we're supposed to be
forgiving and we're not because we love seeing people get canceled i love it i love it
as someone who doesn't like when people are too famous and too popular because i want to be popular
a deep part of me loves you feel like it's like it's an open slot now that you can take their
that's probably it you know if we like picked it apart it's probably yeah there's one less person
that's getting attention so it makes your john bonnet ramsey apart enough it's probably yeah there's one less person that's
getting attention so it makes room for me and now joke yes it's like the john bonnet joke come see
me live um it's and now you can start a cult with a bunch of women living in a house that have a
tattoo of your name yeah like chrysalia getting canceled is not like me being like oh i'm so like
he's gonna free up more space for me to have what he has. It's just like, yeah, there's no question that people like to see people get canceled,
and it's a sick part of our own egos.
Showing Freud.
Yeah.
But we like retribution.
We do like someone who's been doing something truly egregious to be punished.
Yeah.
But if that person says,
we shouldn't.
I apologize.
I've gone to therapy.
I'm in help.
I'm in treatment.
I have made,
I have righted wrongs.
Do you accept that?
Yeah, I accepted
when Crystalia came out
with his apology.
So did I.
I thought it was sincere.
So did I.
And I still to this day
think it was sincere.
Like I think he was probably,
has a sex addiction,
was going to talk
to someone about it,
was trying to stay on the course. But then need to hear you now we've got some updated information that you
tried to get girls to tattoo themselves and all live into a house where they would fuck you and
feed you at the same time yeah i don't know about this i need you to talk about that i don't know
about the timeline though i think like during the recording of that apology no but i believe the apology
and it was enough for me because it was he's like one second he was showing an exam he was
that's what it comes out like during that apology he was still fooling around i get when you he's
like okay you can you can go to whole foods now go yeah you're allowed to leave you can get off
your knees and stop filleting the air thinking that it's me because i've wanted you to always be pleasing me even
when i'm not there um no i i can i i would accept i don't need i know first of all well
he doesn't need to apologize to me i'm not offended and nothing about i'm not like i can't
enjoy his comedy anymore i never was was. No, actually, what?
I did.
I do.
I still do.
His Eminem stuff.
And he is funny.
There's no question about it.
And I can still, there's, you know why I can still enjoy Chris D'Elia?
Because no part of his act said to me he was a good person.
I never needed to believe he was an honest, telling me the truth person.
His comedy isn't about honesty and like telling me who he is.
Yes.
Bill Cosby, Louis C.K., I go to you for honesty.
So when I find out you're not being honest and you're having these shady things,
it's my choice to not really want to hear you anymore.
It's not to punish you and to be like, you don't deserve my view.
It's like, I don't really care what you have to say anymore because i liked when i thought you were saying everything that was
really going on you were a truth not that not that i'm entitled to that but you you tended to share
overshare all of these things i thought you you know jerking off in your child's room or whatever
you shared was like the depths of what you do that's weird which i should have assumed oh there's
more below that well cosby was like the opposite cosby was like also a of what you do that's weird which I should have assumed oh there's more below that well Cosby
was like the opposite Cosby was like also a wholesome
family man that's like when a priest
does it honest there
was no honesty from him you can see
that he was hiding stuff but it's just
the comics that I enjoy I can still
enjoy Michael Jackson's music
because for me to bop
along to thriller does not
need I never in thriller was like I need to believeiller does not need, I never in Thriller was like,
I need to believe he's not licking little boy's asshole.
Enjoy this.
It's not a part of it for me.
However, to enjoy Louis C.K.,
I do need to believe he's telling me the whole truth.
So it's part of it.
And that's just Chris Brown.
I can't enjoy it because he's singing about love.
And he also did these horrible things.
It's not to say that i
couldn't enjoy chris brown's paintings because that for me doesn't need i don't need to believe
he doesn't beat women to enjoy his paintings but for his love songs i do need to so it's just each
person needs i don't mind if you enjoy chris brown's music for you it doesn't matter that
he beat someone it's it's fine you can still enjoy it you can't help what you can still enjoy
or still not enjoy. It's the exact
opposite for me. When I used to listen to Michael
Jackson's music, my first thought was,
just as long as he's not licking little boys' assholes,
I can like this. Does that make sense
though that
Michael Jackson's music for me was never
wrapped up in him not molesting children?
Not that I was like,
this would be fine if he did.
Each of these people has created a
brand and an image that you signed up for and then there is a cognitive dissonance between that
and this new truth that's revealed yes I wouldn't mind if someone found out something about me and
they couldn't listen to me anymore if it was if they found out something about me that was
so antithetical to what they enjoyed
about me in the first place it makes sense that they wouldn't listen to me but if you found out
that i i don't know like something that fits with i don't know what i can you kill the guy
with your car about if i got if i got cancer if you couldn't listen to me anymore because i did
a joke that disparaged fat people in 2007 you don't know who I am and you
don't understand that like I would never do that now and that I am a flawed like that fits with my
brand I was a flawed person I'm continuing to be a flawed person I make mistakes it fits if you
abandon me because of that joke I made in 2007 bye you don't get me and so it's okay does that
make sense it fits with my brand to have said a joke about fat
people in 2007 i was a person that hated my body still am i i my brain wasn't fully developed i was
an addict like it all makes sense i'm not making excuses i'm horrified by it i'm righting my wrongs
and don't want to do that anymore and that's what we need an apology accountability a reason why you did it not
not an excuse but like i think i've explored why i did that and why and in a plan of action to not
do it again and also empathizing with how you hurt people like how did it affect people yeah
i think that all that and if you get cheated on or something like if i so i got cheated on
apologize to me for it acknowledge how much i how much I hurt, why you did it,
and what are the actions
you're going to take
to not ever do that to me again?
Can you tell we watched
six hours of couples therapy
on Showtime last night?
Yeah, we'll get to that after this.
Right after this.
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I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist.
When a group of models from the UK wanted my help,
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And we're back.
Yeah, so Anya came with me this weekend to Vegas with Spade.
So fun.
It was so fun.
It was so fun.
So fun. with spade so it was so fun it was so fun so fun like i'm still i haven't cry laughed in a long
time but i did over the weekend many times and uh and then weirdly i had this thing like where
when the weekend was over i felt like crying all the time and i'm not pmsing and not hormonal i
think i was just so moved by all the humor and like Nikki and David's friendship is really sweet
and funny and and I was just like I'm so lucky to be here and like get to perform in Tucson with
Nikki and then like get to come on the weekend and like I actually dinners I got to help a little
bit like a tiny bit oh you totally helped so I think it was like what's what's going on over
here texty like Anya would be like we would be talking about the sound the night before.
The sound was a little loud.
The spotlight was a little bright.
Anya's on the phone already texting people like, we need to adjust.
And he's like, what's going on over here?
What are you doing, Fingers?
So Anya's fixing things.
And I could tell that he was even like, she's kind of nice to have around.
She's taking care.
She got some Diet Cokes for us.
But two incredibly talented,
famous celebrities who are the funniest people in the world,
like can't get a diet Coke to save their lives.
So in the casino at the Venetian,
it's like Pepsi all day long everywhere.
And Pepsi diet Pepsi is disgusting.
It's not even in,
it's not an alternative to Diet Coke.
It's an alternative to diarrhea.
Like if you were like,
do you want to drink diarrhea or Diet Pepsi?
You go, okay, yeah,
those are in the same ballpark.
I would rather have Diet Pepsi.
But Diet Pepsi in lieu of Diet Coke
doesn't make any sense.
It's like offering orange juice.
It's apples and oranges, literally.
And so Spade loves Diet Coke. I love Diet diet coke it's a treat we he has a very
specific way of eat of drinking it i just like it with my dinner i knew we got to the place early
to have dinner and i before spade got there and i was like this is not gonna be good the waitress
the server's like what would you like to drink and she's like diet coke and she goes oh we only
have diet pepsi and he goes are you fucking serious she was already she had a fun rapport with us i wasn't
being i just go really gross and then spade said the same the same thing and then so spade the
second night so we spade actually the first night was like so kind of bummed out about the diet coke
that his opener my friend friend Bobby Miyamoto,
who I've been friends with for years,
and he's opened for Spade for years and years,
he was like, you want me to go get you a Diet Coke?
He had a stroke, and so he kind of talks.
He's always kind of talked like a robot.
He's like, do you want me to go get you a Diet Coke?
And Spade's like, I'll buy dinner if you go get Diet Coke,
even though he's already going to buy dinner.
We all knew it.
So then Bobby goes to Walgreens to get Diet Cokes.
Which is like a trek because you get lost in the Venetian.
You get lost outside.
It's 85 degrees outside.
Walking anywhere in Vegas is a nightmare.
But then the next night we go to dinner,
same, you know, not same place, but in the same complex.
And again, no Diet Coke. And we should have been prepared but we weren't so then spade this time gives a hundred dollar bill
to our waiter and goes go find some diet cokes anywhere you can we need them and the waiter's
like okay so the waiter change out changes out of his outfit to go onto the strip to go find diet
cokes he can't find anyone, any of them anywhere.
He brings the $100 back.
Spade then has friends that are going to meet us later come early to bring Diet Cokes that they find.
Is this insane?
And meanwhile, inside, I'm dying because I have already arranged for there to be four cans of Diet Coke in their green rooms
because I learned from the night before, what a fucking disaster.
Let's get this
place set up yeah so the real disaster is that you didn't have those earlier
like it was a five minute walk and i'm just sitting there going i can't believe the waiter
has like gone sprinting for diet coke when i could just leave this place go back we need you there i
know i had to be there for entertainment and beauty. To laugh.
Yes.
And for beauty.
Yes.
But we laughed so much.
The stories.
The Instagram stories you share with your head back. I can't.
Every single picture.
I know.
She was laughing all weekend.
I classically laugh a lot.
Like, Rachel Feinstein gets me to do the Pez dispenser laugh.
Bob Saget used to.
I lolled when you said, what, am I at the dentist?
I literally was like, because the chairs were kind of reclining. So when I laid back, it really did look like I was at the dentist i literally because the chairs were kind of like reclining so when i
laid back it really did look like i was uh at the dentist um yeah it was just so many so many laughs
and he is so naturally funny and those two together are so funny because i don't say anything
funny around him literally if you have you ever been around someone who's so funny that you just
don't even try like you don't need to it's like what's the point it'd be like shouting at a a movie that is you know like
it doesn't no one needs this from me to like tag a movie that you're watching so it was just me
i just get to laugh all weekend but it was cute and also slip into a horrible depression because
i'll never be as funny as him yeah i mean that's what happened to me the first night after i had a rough set the first night i really didn't enjoy my set
because my manager was there it's everyone's all the people that run the venetian are backstage
and like you it's a big night of like this is opening night of their residency and like
it just and i wasn't even nervous it's so weird like beforehand i wasn't feeling nervous walking
out on stage not nervous and then i get out there and I'm like why is my why are the words coming out of my mouth in
a weird way I'm using words I've never used before I'm delivering these jokes in a way I've never
delivered them before the timing is I'm timing it wrong like it was so off and the whole time I'm
like get out of your head what is going on couldn't get out of it I forgot how to walk and talk at the same time
it was so weird
and also like and so then I go off stage
and then Spade goes up and fucking
is just the funniest person I've ever seen in my life
and I just sunk into
a low grade depression
and was like really struggling
the next day and it was so circumstantial
it wasn't like I'm about to start my period
it was just like someone's funnier than me I'll never be that funny i'm a fraud everyone knows it um and
no one was telling the opener they were better than the headliner that night and it's embarrassing
because you have to like hang out with everyone afterwards and act fine when you've had a bad set
and no one knew i had a bad set everyone would have been like yeah spade was funnier but she
was fine like no one would have noticed
but thank god we had a second night because
I got off stage on that second
night and everyone was like that was
like I'm like that's what I'm capable
of like even Spade was like
you didn't like last night I'm like that was a C-
for me I really maybe a D
in terms of what I'm capable of I've done
A's before that was a D. It is bizarre
how you cannot I cannot figure out the alchemy of a capable of. I've done A's before. It is bizarre how you cannot,
I cannot figure out the alchemy of a great show.
And I've played thousands of shows in my life and I cannot figure out how to make the magic.
Well, to me, it's clear.
I mean, one show you had a Diet Coke
and the other one you didn't.
Oh my God.
And our sponsor.
No, you know, the first show,
I will say we ate dinner before the show. I't like to perform stuff ourselves you went to the buffet and i was wearing a and i all my
clothes don't fit right now i'm like i've gained some weight and so nothing feels comfortable and
i'm having like my stylist in st louis she is helping me me get clothing from like companies that they shipped to me and I wear them
and they're just loaners. And sample sizes are size two. If you don't fit into size two, you
don't get samples because that's the one they loan out for the pictures to be taken in their
catalogs. That's the one that they loan out for celebrities to wear on the red carpet. It's just
a safe size for every model that you would want to wear this to fit in. And if you don't fit into
a size two, you've got to squeeze
into one because there's no sample 4s
or 6s or 8s. There's none.
You have to buy those.
I have to fit into it.
There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
I've got to lose weight because I can't
afford to not because this is the only way
to get free clothes.
I don't want to buy these clothes
that I don't want to spend $800 on a dress that I'm
going to wear one time. And why wouldn't you wear
it more, Nikki? Because once you get a picture of it
and you post it on Instagram, it doesn't
the likes depreciate after that.
Nikki, why do you even care about that? Because I'm trying to build
a career because I want people to love me because I want to survive
the apocalypse. When everyone starts to freak out,
I want people to go, we got to get Nikki Glazer in
a bunker. That's why, everyone. That's
why. She's really funny. That's why I need to lose weight to fit into these two size two clothes i mean it's just
so i was fitting into the size two thing that is also a big size two but it was not big enough
because it was like cutting off my i couldn't zip it all the way so i'm wearing something that's
making me feel fat and also it had a blazer with it and And whenever I'm wearing a blazer, I just feel less feminine. And I feel like just, I'm already feeling chunky and not, and it's, this, these, these
little shorts are riding up my ass.
I'm wearing a thong.
So I'm in deep discomfort.
Right.
And I'm, I just ate.
So there's like, I, and I'm bloated and I just was like, oh, and my hair looked frizzy.
Like I just couldn't, I didn't feel good.
And then I see spade in like
comfortable shoes and jeans and like a cool hat which by the way i'm wearing a hat right now that
spade had at dinner the other night and i was like i want that hat and he was like write to
them they'll send it to you so thank you to kooks supply for sending me this endless bummer hat but
um but yeah i just uh it's a size two you don't have to be a size two to fit into the clothing
that men's companies send you.
But it was just,
yeah, that's what makes a bad show.
I want to be comfortable.
Well, then Nikki,
stop wearing heels and dresses.
Part of my comfort is looking hot.
You can be comfortable
and still wearing heels and dresses.
I feel you.
It's like,
I have a dress
that is so deeply uncomfortable.
It's a sequins
and it looks comfortable, but I can't wear it because I i have a dress that is so deeply uncomfortable it's a sequins and it
looks comfortable but i can't wear it because i'll have a terrible show the whole time is digging
into my skin and i'm just like i just don't like to feel fat yeah i don't like to it's and i know
people are going to respond to this and go that's fat phobic you're you can't they're gonna write
letters you're not fat why would you say that don't write letters please but like i just it it's a feeling
i can't help i wish i didn't feel that way i don't want to be this kind of woman that has says things
like this believe me i'm trying but it just was a rough weekend in that respect and um that's one
of brian cranston's acting tips is uh he he says just don't eat before you film because yeah not
it's not just you feel fat but you get a little
tired your body is operating on it yeah you get tired yeah exactly because you does anyone realize
that whenever you eat you get cold afterwards yeah because your body all your energy is going
to your digestive tract to like operate your blood so you get cold everywhere else i always
get cold after i eat because i'm tired but it just sucks when you are feeling a little too big for your clothes. Cause there's nothing for me to do. There's
nothing for me to change. Cause I don't diet. I don't get to stop eating less. I don't, some girls
get to go like, I'm going to go on a juice cleanse. I don't get to do that. I just have to like
wait it out. Yep. Which doesn't, or I have to just like, I could work out more.
I'm sorry.
Working out is making me fat.
It is.
I've been working out constantly lately
and I'm not even doing it to be skinny.
I'm working out so I feel strong,
so I feel confident,
so I like burn off some of my thoughts.
But it's making me,
like my clothes don't fit anymore I just want my
clothes to fit Nikki buy new clothes but I
gotta get those sample sizes
and it just it's
but it's kind of fun to talk about
nothing ingratiates you more to an audience
than saying I've gained weight and they're all like yeah we
noticed and then they I make jokes about
gaining weight they fucking love it
everyone can relate to having tight pants
oh yeah i haven't
worn a belt since covid i've been really yeah i i used i've gained because you don't need it
yeah no it well yeah i if i wear it it hurts if i wear a belt on my jeans that i've worn
i have one pair of jeans that i've worn for like the last eight years and now i can't wear a belt
with it because of my big belly oh yeah when covid began what what were your major changes in your
life like sartorially fashion wise i don't even know what sartorial means yes you do sartorially
like uh it's fashion sartorial i started wearing uh uh sweatshorts i wear sweatshorts everywhere i wear them i still wear
them i don't i wear sweatshorts a coat of paxi fanny pack and a zip hoodie in every situation
i wore it to the dodgers game i'll wear it to uh is that fun for you i don't care nice to be a guy
where you just don't have to think, like, do you feel like free?
Because,
because I think some guys are like,
it would be nice to have a little bit more opportunity to dress up or dress
down.
Like men sometimes I think get envious of women being able to do like fun
hairstyles or fun makeup,
like things that could change or,
or,
or do you feel like I feel,
which is,
I would feel amazing if I could just have, if I could pack a suitcase for Europe like Chris is going to do and bring three pairs of pants, five shirts, and two jackets, and one pair of shoes.
Like, I would cry out of happiness.
I'm not even kidding you.
Phoebe Bridgers.
Thinking about my life, if I could pack a carry-on suitcase everywhere i go i know i get emotional and like
thinking about my dop kit would be a plastic bag with like maybe some face lotion in it and a
toothbrush like i can't handle what that how my life would change without all the shit that i need
this is real emotion it really really is. Like I get,
when I see Chris pack for a trip with his little suitcase,
I just get like,
man,
like I just want him to appreciate what that is.
Where even over the weekend,
John love it.
John love it.
He was at the Tropicana.
And so he came over for our show on Saturday night and was hanging out
backstage afterwards.
And he was like, look at all your things.
And it was like,
it is quite
different for a woman.
Because I had like five different pairs of shoes
that I might need based on the outfit
and then like two dresses and then my makeup.
Did you wear those?
Or did you wear those?
I had to have all that stuff and it's like,
maybe I didn't because I could have chosen the outfit before,
but that stuff would have just been up in my room.
I had to bring all those options.
I didn't know what I was going to.
I like not wear.
The one pair of shoes Nikki will wear on stage are completely impossible to walk in.
So the second she gets off, she has to put on the other pair of heels that are at least manageable.
But the shoes I wear on stage, let me say say i am not in discomfort while on stage even in
my tight outfit not uncomfortable on stage i have no feelings in my body on stage i could be shot in
the head and i would still perform i'm not kidding you try to shoot me i will keep performing i will
not notice any pain but i the second i step off stage i will start to feel the pain again so there is the
adrenaline keeps all that pain away so it doesn't bother me to wear uncomfortable shoes on stage at
all like literally at all it's the second i get off it's it's bothersome and that's why at meet
and greets i will sometimes look like a hobo and i have just sometimes people will go i wanted to
dress with you in that picture with you in that pretty dress and i'm like sorry you should have
done a selfie while I was on stage.
Give me a break. You're never like a hobo.
The hobo-iest thing is like a cute
stretchy bodycon
dress that's pink.
No, I wore my pajamas on stage
to the meet and greet the other night.
I wore this triple XL
Taylor Swift shirt.
The shoes were still cute.
Final thought.
The weekend was fun.
Any highlights?
Well, can you answer?
So what brings you to St. Louis, Anya?
I mean, you guys are in Vegas
and now you're in St. Louis.
Yeah, well, she came with,
she extended the trip
because I have an idea
to create a Taylor Swift cover band.
I've been toying with it for a while.
All I want to do,
I've been reading a lot about
happiness and productivity
and thinking a lot about my life
and my decisions
and what really makes me happy.
And there's no question,
singing Taylor Swift songs
is my favorite
thing to do in the whole world, whether I'm by myself or with people, Taylor Swift is it's my
happy place. Why am I not doing it as much as possible? So I thought, and also I love performing
and I love Taylor Swift performing Taylor Swift songs. I don't even want to perform my own songs.
I just, I was with my voice teacher a couple of weeks ago
and I go, he's like, you need to write your own songs.
And I'm like, I don't really want to.
Like this gets it done for me.
Like her songs feel like I have a relationship with them
that is as if they're my own in a way.
Like I like them more than anything I could ever write.
I don't even-
You're like the song's aunt.
Yeah, I was thinking about, yeah, that's a good point.
Like with my niece and nephew,
like I don't need to be a mother.
I'm good being an aunt.
That's so it, Brian.
Nice.
Thank you.
Great analogy.
Thank you.
I just, I keep thinking I want to write songs,
but I was thinking about it the other day
and I go, why can't you?
Why could you write jokes, Nikki?
Like you saw, at one point in your life,
you decided I'm going to be a comedian.
You started writing jokes.
Why was that so much easier for you than writing songs?
I don't have the answer to that.
All I know is it was easy.
Writing songs is not easy.
I don't like to do things that don't feel good.
And writing songs to me does not feel good yet.
Maybe it will sometime.
It does not feel good.
It's torturous from start
to finish i feel like a fraud i feel like a fool i want and then the other day my voice teacher said
why don't you write songs and i said i just like singing taylor swift songs that's really all i
want to do and he's like what about this other song i'm like yes there are other songs i like
besides her but and then i was after going to era's tour i just thought there are a lot of people that
can't afford era's tour i know that i would go are a lot of people that can't afford Aera's tour.
I know that I would go see a Taylor Swift cover band if the whole time we just got to sing out loud.
And I was like, well, why don't I do this?
So I asked Anya to start a cover band with me
and that's what we're working on.
You have a name?
You have a name?
No, not yet.
But I think that's going to take a really long time
because I'm going to have to go through.
Wait, we have to have a name?
Why don't we just be Nikki Glaser covers Taylor Swift swift because it's kind of funny to do a cover band
song like there's one for um sublime that's like uh we practice santeria which is hilarious because
it's i don't practice santeria and they're like no we practiced it which is so funny so there's
like a fun there's a way to be funny with the bit like there's one cover band called reputation like they'll they'll take some part of her catalog but
um yeah so that is going and and the cardigans oh that's funny because it's already exist um
yeah i i think that and it's i think it'll be lucrative for both of us not that i know what that means brian uh
lucrative it'll be sartorial lucrative is like of the of the book of luke from the bible yes
yeah we're a christian taylor this is a christian taylor just change all the lyrics to god there's
a blank space baby and jesus is in it and i'll write his name I'll write his name. I'll write his name. Oh my God.
It's been fun.
It's challenging for me.
I've been playing guitar for 20 years and I do not play this way.
I don't strum this way.
So I feel like I just started playing guitar.
And for anyone who's tried to learn guitar, and I know Nikki can relate,
it's the one thing that can make you feel absolutely suicidal. Like you want to throw the instrument across the room
because you have to put in so much time
to learn the muscle memory.
And it's like incredibly frustrating.
If people play guitar out there,
how the fuck do you learn finger picking?
Like every song has a different-
I can't finger pick.
I can't pick pick.
Well, finger picking, how do you do that?
Because there's one song I'm trying to learn and it's
I'll teach you
it's a pattern
I already know the pattern
I know the pattern on this hand
and the chords are the only thing
that's changing
how
is it just muscle memory
you just do it enough
that
you cry a lot
so everyone has to go
through this stage
of wanting to
kill yourself
and rip off your hand
yes
I don't know how
you're doing
this strum
that one comes naturally
to me
finger picking do not I've put in easily easily a thousand hours Yes, I don't know how you're doing this strum. That one comes naturally to me.
Fingerpicking, do not.
I've put in easily a thousand hours on this one strum,
and I still don't have it, but I'm seeing hope.
I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Oh my God, it's so frustrating.
Everything is so, but you know what?
I like this process.
Yeah.
And it's a way for me to get my best friend
kind of obsessed with Taylor Swift.
Like, I'm going to get you.
Sorry, infiltrating my sleep.
I woke up today singing Death by a Thousand Cuts.
Like, you, but this is a sneaky way for me to get a friend on board with my Taylor Swift.
Like, you might be able to go to concerts now.
And like, is there, have you learned a new appreciation for her?
Oh, I definitely have a couple favorite songs that I'm like, oh, I enjoy.
Like, I would enjoy listening to these in my spare time.
You're not, like, obsessed yet, though.
I don't know if I could get obsessed, but I love August.
I think that's a great song.
I think it's really smart.
I love the phrasing.
I like Lavender Haze, which is so simple, but there's just something about that.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just something about that oh oh oh oh oh oh
yeah yeah it's uh sexy it's like kind of soulful it's a little departure for her
but august is like the phrasing of that to me is really genius okay like when she's doing the
whole thing about and also the line you're not gonna like watch videos of her and be like she's so cute blonde we love you she is cute like i just
want to watch videos of her being adorable like it's like this um it's i'm trying to find someone
to get obsessed with me of like my mom's almost there where i can i can show many people all of
your fans i know there's i need someone close in my circle that i'm able to like
my mom is getting there well i'll send my mom like kind of insider swifty stuff where i'm like
look at her mom listening to her look at like i kind of share things where it's like you can share
all that stuff with me no you do watch there was a video the other day of like her garter belt broke
and i was like look how she fixed it and it was like this really cute way of her like telling her she's like singing i have this thing where i get and she's like looking pointing at her garter belt broke and I was like look how she fixed it and it was like this really cute way of her like telling her she's like
singing I have this thing where I get
and she's like looking pointing at her garter belt
and then she like puts it up and then
her dancers fix it and she's still singing
and then she fucking nails it and it was just like
it's fun to watch how pro she
is and fucking cute and um
I'm gay
as my mom says everyone was gay for her in that stadium every woman she's so cute i get
it nikki she's so cute so yeah we're um today we're going to my voice teacher i'll be interested
for you to meet him i can't wait to see the process like yeah no we're gonna bring in some
songs for him to help us arrange.
I'm nervous because my voice is not.
Oh, no.
He will be so obsessed with your voice.
It's going to be like me bringing in a pretty friend to a guy.
You know what I mean?
Like a friend who's prettier than you.
I've already steeled myself against seeing his reaction to an actual good voice.
Because all I see is his reaction to mine which
has a lot of promise and he's very he's very complimentary about my voice extremely that's
one of the things i love most about him is yes yes is that he he he sees a lot of potential in
me and always makes me feel amazing about my voice but i'm i'm i'm willing to believe that
there's a different level to his enthusiasm
that I'm probably going to witness today after he hears Anya's natural voice.
And then we're just going to work on songs,
and we're going to watch Succession tonight and go out to dinner with my family.
So is it just you two in the band, or is it more?
Just us for now.
I'm just starting out like Tegan and Sarah, Indigo Girls style,
and then we're going to add more.
Nikki's being very patient with me because she knows like all of these songs
and she's like slowly walking me through.
I would not.
You are like blazing through them.
I expected this to take way longer.
You're like,
I knew what I was getting with you.
You're a phenom.
Like you are so quick to,
you're so quick.
And like,
yeah.
And you're a pro musician.
So it's nice that I have a head start
because I can't, if it were the other way around, we'd be fucked. We'd be fucked. I'm like, yeah. And you're a pro musician. So it's nice that I have a head start because I can't,
if it were the other way around it, we'd be fucked.
We'd be fucked.
I'm like just learning.
And I'm learning from watching her learn.
And then she gets it right and it sounds amazing.
And I'm like, oh, I've just been like, you know,
I'm a novice.
So it's like nice to have someone who's like,
I don't even deserve to be in a cover band with you.
I don't think you're a novice anymore.
Both you guys went on Instagram Live on our podcast page,
Nikki Glazer Pod on Instagram.
And I think it was maybe like a year ago.
I forget if it was with Rokio or with Amy Chapman,
who you were practicing with for The Masked Singer.
But you were saying that some advice that you got from the vocal coach was
just interpret this in your own way.
And when you were singing, I'm familiar enough with Taylor Swift,
but I definitely heard your own voice in it.
Oh, thank you.
You're not a novice anymore.
Absolutely not.
Well, I'm climbing out of novice,
and I'm beginning the intermediate ladder, which feels good.
But yes, it's I still want to call myself a novice.
So the bar is low.
That's what our band name is.
The novice.
Oh, my God.
That's actually pretty good.
We should like I would have my band be called like I suck.
And so no one could ever go.
She kind of sucks.
Be like, well, she told us.
It's like Amy Schumer calling her special
mostly sex stuff.
So no one could go,
I don't know, it was mostly sex stuff.
It's like, yeah, that's what I told you.
It's such a good thing.
Beat them to the punch.
So if you have any suggestions
for what our Taylor Swift cover band should be called,
and I would predict that we'll probably book stuff
by early fall and they
will be small venues where we can do acoustic um acoustic performances and their sing-along shows
so um singing along loudly is encouraged because we're gonna sing along in our you know in nikki's
show we do a little element of that yes in my set and um it's so fun to have audience
participation it really does give you goosebumps it's so fun and that's what Taylor Swift going to
see her during air is everyone's singing the entire time and I and my mom hates when people
sing at concerts but I even asked her did it bother and she's like no that's what that is
that night that's what it is and everyone's on board and it doesn't bother you at all can you
still hear Taylor oh perfectly and that's yeah yeah it is and everyone's on board and it doesn't bother you at all. Can you still hear Taylor?
Oh, perfectly.
And you know why it doesn't bother you?
You can't hear someone singing next to you because you're singing.
So it doesn't...
And you can hear her.
Whatever they do sound-wise,
it's fun. And so,
if you're a Swiftie out there who would like to come to a sing-along,
please come to our show
that haven't been booked yet, but we're
preparing for it. So look out for that, and if you have
a clever name for a Taylor Swift cover band,
please DM them to us. And if you
have anything to comment on, you can always leave
us a Fanthrex message that we will eventually get
to, and that link can be found at
NikkiGlazerPod underneath, like in the
bio. It's the link in the bio where you can call
up and leave us a message. And it doesn't,
we don't care if it's meandering. I don't care if you aren't prepared to talk we're not going to be judging it
harshly um some besties have written down their statement before they record it just to so it's
concise or whatever you want but you don't have to do that we don't care if it's meandering we
love you no matter what thank you for listening we're so appreciative thank you for all the love
we've gotten for brian being added to the show it means so much to me when I hear it. I hope you're getting some of that, Brian.
Yeah, I do actually a little bit.
I mean, I just zoom in on the hate
and then I focus on that.
If there's one little nugget of hate
and a pile of love,
I will just be like,
that's a pile of shit.
Right, that's why I can't even read
the piles of love
because of those little hate nuggets.
I just wait for the tide to turn
and then it'll turn back around.
That's the real beauty.
Yeah, eventually you'll leave the show someday,
and then everyone will go,
this new guy sucks.
We miss Brian.
That's always, people just hate new.
They love old.
And so you just have to wait it out.
Eventually, someday people will be shitting on whoever is,
or like, eventually you'll be the one that
everyone is like we miss him. It's like getting
to know anybody you know I'm just a guy.
All I ever say is
there was a time where you didn't know who
Tom Hanks was okay. So this whole
idea of like who's this guy
chill the fuck out and
wait a second to get to know people. Honestly
everything I've heard is people are in love
with Brian. Yeah that's all I've heard too.
As someone who has often been the new person on things,
I get a lot of, who is this?
And it's like, did you, you didn't even know your dad.
You had to meet your dad for the,
there was a time where your dad, you go, who is this guy?
Right?
So just give it time.
You have to meet people.
Are you done knowing who people are?
It's, I'm getting mad at someone who doesn't even,
it's like one person who doesn't even listen to the show and just saw one clip and decided to
spout off.
All right.
Thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast and being overwhelmingly positive.
Don't be cuck.
And just don't even offer me a diet Pepsi.
Disgusting.
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