The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #339 Going Harder w/ Julie Glaser

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Nikki's mom Julie is back to help recap their weekend in Nashville. Brian got some good news before the pod. While Nikki filmed Barmageddon, Julie hung out in the green room with Blake Shelton ...and he was as sweet as a donut. Nikki is tired of playing it safe with comedy and wants to lead a change in women's role in comedy. Finally, Nikki and Julie talk about almost getting rained out at the Eras Tour, Taylor Swift's performance and Nikki gives her take on Taylor and Matt Healy.  ——— Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian Frange: brianfrange.com More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF,

and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network,

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Snakes, zombies, sharks, heights. Speaking in public, the list of fears is endless. But while you're clutching your blanket in the dark, wondering if that sound in the hall was actually a footstep, the real danger is in your hand when you're behind the wheel. And while you might think a great white shark is scary, what's really terrifying and even deadly is distracted driving. Eyes forward. Don't drive distracted. Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council. People, my people, what's up?

This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far. I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E Jonathan Sheckman, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet, Hey, now's your chance. You got to check them out. Listen to quest love Supreme on the I heart radio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, it's me. It's Nikki Glaser. Welcome to the podcast. I just said Billy is a sex slave for the second part of the song because it's an old joke with all my girlfriends. Who's Billy? Billy is Sarah Lena's dog.

And one time it was just wearing a leather collar and all the girls were doing the podcast together. And we were starting the podcast and we were kind of just singing it like as Noah was setting up. All the girls were kind of just singing it like as Noah was setting up all the girls were kind of just like singing the theme song over and over and then at one point Taylor McGraw saw Billie with like she was

just like you know like you know scratching Billie's head and saw the leather collar and said Billie is a sex slave because of the leather collar and then it stuck and so whenever we're on the girls chat and sarah lena's talking about billy she's like so sex slave has just been throwing up all over the house she just calls her sex slave now with no like there's no humor behind the like the saying no one would get it

but you guys yeah but she's just like i'm so sad scared sex slave is gonna die like we just call it sex slave now she's a senior dog is he is he old yeah she she billy like billy holiday i just assumed it was a boy you would billy's a boy's name generally billy eilish yeah billy eilish billy yeah i always remember the clueless joke that I never understood until later where Cher, the girl in Clueless, gets picked up by the gay guy that she has a crush on, but she doesn't know he's gay, but everyone else does. And in the 90s when I saw that, I did not know he was gay either. But she has this crush on this guy who's clearly gay. And he picks her up and he's playing. And she goes, who is it?

And he's playing Billie Holiday. She's like, who is this? And he goes, Billie Holiday. And she goes who is it he's playing billy holiday she's like who is this and he goes billy holiday and she goes oh i love him and then i didn't even understand that joke until later she also said she's giving a speech in her class and she was like i believe we should let the haitians come here instead of haitians and apparently i watched like a behind the music about it, that movie. And she did not, they didn't plan for her to say Hadeans, but the actress, Alicia Silverstone, didn't know how to pronounce it. And they were like, that's perfect.

Keep it in. Don't tell her. So I always remember those two things. Anyway, yeah. So Billie is a sex slave. My mom is here, everyone. She's in studio. Julie Glazer, welcome to the show.

Thank you, Nyx. Brian Fr My mom is here, everyone. She's in studio. Julie Glazer, welcome to the show. Thank you, Nick. Brian Frangie is here in Los Angeles via satellite. That's right. What's up, Brian? Brian just got off the phone. He had a very important call, and we all kind of listened to his side of it. We're all curious for sure. And then he said, oh, that was great news.

And I go, what happened? Wait, save it for the podcast. So what was that call about? I think it's about your car. That's 100% correct. Okay. But also I heard a woman's voice on the other line. And usually women aren't telling you about your car.

No shade to women. No shade to women. We don't want to throw shade to women. They could be mechanics too. I want to throw shade at them because SPF protection is important for anti-aging. So, so much shade on all women because youth is key okay um what um what happened um well i had a malfunction in my car uh airbag which is like a safety issue and i haven't been able to get it to fix uh get it fixed you look like you had hit

by an airbag today yeah did you do anything with your hair please i just want to draw people to the youtube channel this is how we get people to look at the youtube channel what does brian's hair look like today i don't comb my hair i will do something with you have great hair i gotta get it fine i don't comb it i do the wake up and i just what i don't comb my hair either i don't either but okay so anyway really airbag i don't know what i do the wake up and i just what i don't comb my hair either i don't either but okay so anyway really i don't know what i would be able to do with it it's a well you just like run a comb through it and you kind of like it just looks a little like you slept on it i think you should gel it back no i'm not i just i'm not gonna slick it back i'll never slick it back i'm not italian it would look good i uh probably subaru is my car company and I'm usually

a big fan of Subaru and this airbag broke and I'm driving my future wife to Colorado for our wedding next month

and the airbag needs to work she's going to be sitting in the passenger seat and the airbag you know this could be a disaster so

I brought so did you know it doesn't work because it gave a little light or something when someone's sitting in the passenger seat it says uh passenger airbag off and then the airbag warning lights on so it's like my airbag will work but hers won't yeah you can just quickly bring her to your side if you see a crash if i if i see a crash come i'll just pull her over yeah um and so i i brought it to uh the subaru dealership and everybody knows that dealerships are not very helpful and they're super expensive

and they make you wait a long time and overall shitty experience this one in particular is complaining of staff shortages and all this stuff and they told me they told me that there was no problem that they couldn't find a problem with the car they can't run a diagnosis they told me that there was no problem, that they couldn't find a problem with the car. They can't run a diagnostic. They told me all this shit. Get in the passenger seat and start the car and you'll hear the alert. They refused. What?

They said, we're not sitting in your passenger seat. And I was like, that's the only way to get the alert. They refused. Okay. And so then what? I took it to an independent uh mechanic an incredible mechanic complete automotive systems in uh palms if you ever are living in that area and they sat in the passenger seat with me they talked me through it they got the diagnostic and they fit and they

found out that's romantic i mean i feel like i i feel like i have like a little romantic relationship with this guy he's such a good mechanic. Oh, isn't it nice when you find someone who finally fixes your problem? You honestly feel romantic feelings for them. Yes. And I think with mechanics, it's the same thing with a barber or a stylist. It's like once you find one, you're committed. Never let go.

Yeah, because it's so hard to do it. And they could be sleazy like they everything about the industry could be they don't have to be good and so it's so nice when you find one i'm happy that you found a guy that finally you can have this lifelong relationship with yes aren't you worried about him being in that passenger seat now well we agreed that he's allowed to see other cars so it's just you know you guys have an open thing yeah an open mechanic that's good so anyway subaru just called me up so i called up subaru and they have an advocacy line where they have like some person who like fights for you on your

behalf and i've been i didn't have any faith against subaru like they'll subaru hires people that will fight for you for your dealership? Yeah, their goal is to like make you satisfied so you continue to buy Subarus throughout your life. So they're like your advocate. And I had no faith in this advocate. Not this particular advocate, but I had no faith in a car company advocating for me in any

capacity. And I just figured I'd go pay full price for this part, which wound up being $2,600. Jesus. They have to replace the entire seat because it's the sensor in the seat. And I thought that was an outrageous fee to pay. It seems like a good price for a seat.

I think it'd be more. It's a safety issue. It's still so much money. It's the airbag. It should be free no matter what. Absolutely. How old is the car? Yeah, that's a good point. It's a 2015bag. It should be free no matter what. Absolutely. How old is the car? Yeah, that's a good point.

It's a 2015. You're out of the window. The warranty expired nine months ago. Oh, how convenient. Yeah. But I think he got some good news. Yeah, you did get some good news. We heard the good news.

Yeah, the advocate called. That was what we heard. So I missed the call from the advocate two times already. So that's why i answered it and um she told me that i don't have to go to the dealer i can go to my my new my new mechanic guy and she'll reimburse me for up to a thousand dollars which i did not expect any of that a thousand dollars that is amazing news i expected just to pay out of pocket for the entire thing so thank you subaru advocacy group i i now like subaru again i love subaru before okay well i every time i get into a subaru i do like it yeah i love subarus they they ever since dave matthews

gave away one in 1999 online and i saw him standing next to one. I love Subarus. And they just seem to be helping the environment even though there's no basis to that whatsoever. They just seem to be on the right side of things. But I think that's kind of their... They were one of the first car companies to advertise to the LGBT community in their

advertisements. They would have same-sex couples. Oh, and that's why it's associated with lesbians getting Subarus. Yes. Because that's another thing I i know about them i went on a date with a guy who drove a subaru and i thought it was um he had kind of the demeanor of one there was a little bit too much feminine energy radiating from him which i did not hate but it was a thing that i noticed that i picked up on. He was very nice. There was more feminine energy than masculine for me, but that's

no judgment. I was like, oh, this is something different, but he did drive a Subaru, but I liked that Subaru. I got in that and I was like, this is a nice car. I was like, this guy has good taste. It was a nice car and it was like a risk

to get a Subaru. Is there a car that if a guy drove up in it, you would be like, this is over? Teslas for me now are kind of I don't hate them, but it kind of tells me if you bought one, it just tells me that you are about status and you kind of think

it just reminds me of Elon Musk too much. And do you guys know that he named each of the models of the cars so that it would eventually spell sexy? Yes. Like the Model S, the Model 3, the Model X, the Model Y. And that he also priced one of the first Teslas

at $69,420 because he... Oh my God. So I just did this thing for the LA Times where they asked me all about Elon Musk's jokes quote unquote to see if he was funny

or not so I guess they're asking a bunch of comedians like what do you think of this joke and none of them are jokes they're all just like him calling a guy

a pedo and it's like is that a joke it was just all these things but I really went pretty hard on him and I'm honestly scared for my life now

I'm like wait a second. Elon Musk could have me murdered in seconds and have it covered up. He's one of the richest men in the world. I bet he reads the LA Times too. I bet he reads anything about himself. And he fancies himself a comedian. So he wants desperately, you know, he went on stage with Chappelle.

SNL. He hosted SNL. He hosted SNL. He went on Rogan. He wants to be a comedian which i then at the end of the thing said i'm very flattered that this person who's so successful in everything they do want still wants to be a comedian and it makes me feel cool because this guy who has everything and can't have everything can't have this one thing because he'll never be

funny and i said he'll never be funny because he's surrounded by people who will always laugh at everything he says. And you need, to be a comedian, you need to have a sense of humility. You need to bomb. And he can't bomb because he employs everyone he's around. He has no real friends to tell him that's not funny. Like he did this one stunt at Twitter when he first bought it where he walked in with a sink.

Did you know this? No, no. He walked in with a sink and the headline was, let this sink in. And he had a big sink he was carrying in. I said I felt bad for the guy that had to go to Lowe's to buy that sink. And to all the people that were in the room with him when he came up with it, that had to be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah, man. Like this guy never has someone not laugh at his jokes so it's not i said it's not his fault that he thinks he's funny it's our

fault yeah it's our fault because we're scared of him we want some of his power and money so we laugh at everything he says so it's not his fault he's not funny and that he has the that's why it's always impressive when someone incredibly powerful is actually funny. Like I think Barack Obama, Oh, we just said Obama at the same time. I think,

I don't know. He's funny. He really is actually funny. Well, because he came up, not a privileged little asshole. Did Elon who thought, yeah,

he's not. Obama probably has narcissistic tendencies because you have to be to want to be president, but it seems like he cares what other people think. Maybe I'm fooled. Elon's parents owned emerald mines in Africa.

They were pretty well-to-do, but they didn't share, according to him, they didn't share the wealth with him, but I'm sure he had certain benefits. Open doors. It's not like they made him live out in the shed in the backyard. He's still got things. That's, yeah, open doors. Yeah, it's not like they made him live out in the shed in the backyard. Like, he's still got things. Yeah, but again, it's not his fault.

Like, people who are privileged assholes, it's not their fault. It's not like you would be a kid and be like, Mom, Dad, stop showering me with all this, like, money and wealth. Like, you don't, you can't help how you come up if you are protected from anyone telling you the truth about life. No, I agree with you. And I am in several ways sheltered. But I will say I am sharing the wealth myself with my family.

In fact, this weekend, my mom and I went to Nashville because I had a shoot on Wednesday. I flew in Wednesday night. my mom joined me on thursday had a shoot on thursday for a show on the usa network called barmageddon and um it's hosted by um nikki garcia formerly uh one of the bella twins but now that she goes by garcia who i actually did their podcast a couple weeks ago. And so I already had like a rapport with her and she's so nice and just cool and pretty and talented and all those things. And then also on the show are, it's just,

it's pretty much two celebrities guests playing bar games to with a, with a, this is the second season. So the celebrity has a team mate and the teammate is someone who's had like a really epic fail on, on online, you know, like someone who's like tripped and fell in a pool or like,

you know, just did some embarrassing Tosh point O type thing and they need redemption. And so we're, we're playing bar games with them against the other celebrity and their teammate. And then also on the show are blake shelton i almost say blake griffin blake shelton from the voice and music and gwen stefani and then uh carson daly from trl oh cool carson daly live or whatever that is in the today show

and um you couldn't ask for three better celebrities who are more down to earth, cool, nice. They're just so nice. And I know I say that a lot about celebrities. When I don't say someone's nice, it's because they're not. Otherwise, I'm going to say it. So the only time you'll hear me say anything about a celebrity's personality is generally when they're nice. And if I haven't commented on it, it probably means they're an asshole, which often happens. Or they think they're cute. But no, there was no cuteness.

Mom, you got in. No. Yeah, go ahead. I got in. Yeah. And I was really not going to go. I was like, I'll just meet you at the hotel. Yeah, because my mom's kind of used to going to these things,

and she kind of just sits in a green room all day. She's kind of over the glitz and glam of going to a TV show. Sitting in a green room, just watching you on a going to a TV shoot. No, it's sitting in a green room just watching you on a monitor most of the time. Yeah, it's boring. And it's a really long day. And I just thought, well, and I didn't even know you were starting late, but I was like,

I just mean I could go. And then you're like, well, you might have fun. And I'm like, okay. And I can always send you home in an Uber if it's not fun. Yeah, I kind of thought that too. And I was like, oh. so we're in downtown nashville at blake griff blake shelton's bar and filming this thing we go to hair and makeup we do all that we're in the green room eating snacks and then we get pulled to set and then the the green room is for the celebrities guests and that's pretty much it it's for me and al madrigal who was other celebrity And then the green room is for the celebrities' guests.

And that's pretty much it. It's for me and Al Madrigal, who was other celebrity. Oh, Al Madrigal. Yeah. You know him. Daily Show. Yeah. The Carson Daily Show.

Yeah. And so we were hanging out in there. And with my mom and producers who were telling us about the games. And then, was then after the, was it after the first game that Blake came in? It was like the fourth game. No, it wasn't. It was after the first one.

It was? 100%. Because I know what I got pulled to go do. So anyway, we're back in the room in between games, which I was terrible at all of the games. I am so used to being bad at everything. It is absurd how bad I am at anything hand eye. I am not good at anything.

That's what makes it so darn cute. Besides words. It is cute. I'm really used to it. They were kind of like, are you okay? And I go, I'm so used to losing on shows.

It's not even, it doesn't bother me anymore that's great I was your I went to go see you do celebrity ninja warrior or whatever that was oh my god that was the worst day of my life

I forgot about that one it was the worst day of my life let's come back and talk about that when we get back and we'll tell you all about our day at barmageddon. There's lots to tell and then we're going to get into some Taylor Swift stuff and the concert we went to

but also there's some news that's out and I need to address it. So we'll talk about all that when we get back. My mom and Brian Pange and Noah of course. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics,

entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers.

I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson.

Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Good people, what's up?

It's Questo. Quest love. And Team Supreme and I have been working hard to bring you some incredible episodes of Quest Love Supreme with guests you definitely don't want to miss. Now, one of the things I love about this Quest Love Supreme podcast is we got something for everybody, every type of musical effort. We enjoy speaking to the people who are the face of some movements, some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers, but we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes and they paved the way for those that followed. You know, keystones to the culture.

This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations, like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland, sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe and I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow Sonata Maitreya Kathleen

Hannah and the RZA these are conversations you won't hear anywhere else so make sure you go back and you check those episodes out all right listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio

app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery.

A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Alright, yeah, I'm bad at everything. And any kind of like physical challenge. I can't even believe I'm with

Chris Convey because sports are so important to him and like precision sports and like just bark. Like any kind of games are so important to him. And he has and like just bark like any kind of games are so important to him and he has a girlfriend that is disabled honestly i i think even it's it turns into special olympics type stuff with me i think it really does it's so embarrassing and if i even do a little bit good people go good like it's just so pandering and humiliating uh brian you went to american ninja warrior which by the way i only got asked to do a day before it was shooting

because someone dropped out you had no time to tyrese shot dropped out or something like that oh man it was monique i forget who it was it was some black person with one name dropped out and could have been no moesha i think is a character played by brandy which also it could have been brandy brandy there you go yeah so you weren't off one name and a black person but anyway so i got asked to do it because clearly i'm the first person you think of when tyree's can't make it. What did Tyrese sing? I forget. I think it was like a model.

I could probably do a better job singing. Yeah, he was a model. But I think he sang too. So anyway, that was the worst day. Not fair. You need time to train for that. Oh, God.

Yeah, but no one did. None of these other celebrities did you get to practice before yeah there was one day where we went and practiced my my partner was jesse graff she kind of looks like me um but fit and she i went to her house and she had a big pig and she had like a ninja warrior thing set up in the house like inside the house it's ninja warrior it's like you in the kitchen you can climb on the walls and do you know there's ropes and all these things running around and in her backyard there's trampolines and all the stuff so you can it's a because she's a regular yeah yeah so we got matched with a regular to like help us these like and this is my first like

celebrity thing so it was the first time i go oh i guess i'm a celebrity because you can't be on the show unless you are um this is 2017 well so this was the moment you were like oh i guess i'm a celebrity yeah because like you i didn't know i was a comic until i was on last comic standing it's like okay well they wouldn't put me on the show unless i was a comic like it's in the title dancing with the stars i was like okay I guess I'm a star now. I would never call myself that, but I'm on a show where I am one of the stars. And you're on The Masked Singer. Yes, and so I'm... A singer.

A singer. Now you're masked. Yeah, and now I'm masked. So I'm a masked star celebrity, and yeah, I wait for these kind of coronations, so to speak, where I get knighted as such. Because it's embarrassing to call yourself a celebrity

or a comic you never know when to do it then you get on the show and you go well I guess I am so no training but like a day where I just like ran around an obstacle course with her in her backyard and it was fun and then the course itself we get there it is so

hard none of the celebrities could even do it who's the girl from um it was natalie morales from the today show was the other woman yeah and then it was the girl from american beauty who's laying in the bed of roses mina suvari oh okay okay okay and i forget the others but those are the two girls and we were all struggling. The first thing, you had to just run on this lily pad thing. Then you swing to another thing. None of us could do it. We kept

falling. Good. You weren't alone. This was just the practice during the day. They go, we're going to move the lily pads closer together. We're going to adjust so that they can at least get past the first step of this. On the real Ninja Warrior, you fall and you got to on the real ninja warrior you fall and you're out but this one we got to multiple tribe because it was for charity it was

and you're a celebrity yeah and so yeah and they had little jokes they had little jokes if you failed like if you fell in the pool of water there was a person with a raft that could row you across like there was stuff like that yeah there were always like these fail safes to like yeah so i got to like row to the other side because i fell in the water but it was terrifying because you're i don't like any of this stuff i i was like i would never do a ropes course outside of if i was like i don't know what sixth grade camp we had to do like a ropes course and i only did that because i didn't want to be the only one that wouldn't yeah so i was crying and i was really wanting to walk away

and then they gave us this speech about how this is then you would be losing fifteen thousand dollars for these kids with cancer it was like for red nose day and so they're like then you would be sacrificing fifteen thousand dollars that's going to go to kids and it's like your ego is more important than that they gave us like this pep talk because i and i was crying and i remember a guy named nick from the yankees do you know nick swisher nick swisher the happiest man on planet earth yes he was so nice to me and i remember thinking that he just worked on the show because he just was like so nice guy that was like cheering me on when we were practicing yeah and i was like this guy's really cute like i wonder what his deal it like it was

kind of like oh my god this guy's so nice like um and then it turned out he was a new york yankee a beloved new york yankee he was one of the other celebrities he was so nice to me and i was crying and he came over and was just like hey you know this isn't a big deal like he kind of talked me off the ledge which i needed because you had to literally jump off a ledge on this and so he uh he was just um really nice so anyway we get to the man this is like bringing back so much anxiety we were it was just so embarrassing because it was I remember just like I'm almost like starting to cry because it was just like I didn't want to do it I just hate when you are forced to do something because people are like you didn't even have time to think about

it. I did. I had hours between the practice and the night shoot. No, I'm talking about saying, yeah, I'll do the show. Yeah, and because at that point I didn't, I don't have, I never wanted to turn down anything in my career because you could be the one thing where you do something funny

or someone sees you and it takes, and you're in no position to do that and but i hated every second of it i um i i i did the worst by far out of everyone and i remember natalie morales and also mina suvari being like this is so hard we suck at this and feeling like oh my god thank you guys you suck too we're all gonna suck and they're all like freaking out about it too they like do do, they complete the whole thing, which I only completed 20% of it. So to complete the whole thing versus 20%, you're fucking lying about being, I'm so bad at it. It's like when girls used to go, I'm going to get an F.

I didn't study at all in the test. And then they get an A, like those A, those little quiet A students who like to pretend like, yes. Yeah. I call these women holes and, um, just holes. No,

they were so nice. Mina, Mina Suvari and Natalie Morales, again, two celebrities who are so nice and don't are not too care for school. Uh, but fuck them because they were really talented and they were underplaying it because they were trying to make me feel better.

Like this is scary. This sucks. Cause I was, yes, it is is sweet but I did not appreciate them going so far and Jeff Dye was there swinging all over things and just killing it and it was like I wanted Jeff too

and after that I was so mad how good he was at it everyone was good everyone except me I was by far the worst not even like the worst a little someone has to be the worst. Yeah, but usually there's someone who's a little bit better than you, but it's

slightly. There's someone who's kind of riding the bottom with you, but you have to be the bottom. There was no one even close to as bad as me. It was so embarrassing. And there's a huge audience there. It's on the Paramount lot or something. Yeah, yes. They take Main Street,

which is where they film a lot of movies and stuff where their sets are all set up to look like a real street, and they put bleachers. So there is literally hundreds of people watching you. Watching you. And just feeling bad, feeling sorry for you. And I just was like, I turned off my ego. Do you ever do that where you're just like,

or you turn off your fear and you just like, I think it's probably the same thing people do before they jump off a building. I think that's what separates you from many people. My suicide book is talking a lot about this. Like before people kill themselves, they just do it. Like they just rip off the bandaid, even though they know it's going to hurt. It literally was the same feeling. I had to just turn off the thing that told me everything like don't do this because it was scary i'm on a 60 i'm 60 feet

in the air maybe that's an exaggeration but it's so and i'm scared of heights and you have to jump out and yes you are attached to things that are going to save you and there's a net below but i have to jump on this like um trapeze bar it was so scary because i hate like i hate diving boards i hate when men jump on diving boards and then they almost like crash on the bottom like that's one of your fears yeah they double bounce like a bounce and then they land again and they like kind of miss it and they kind of scrape the sides of it like nothing makes me more anxious than like trying to grab a bar and like missing it like there's something just yeah that yeah, that's scary. Even though you can't get hurt. Like there was just something about it. It's so interesting because me and Chris had like the opposite experience that you had

watching. Well, we were in your little circle of your, your circle of friends. I think it was me, Chris. And was it just me and Chris? I don't remember. We were in the, Lizzie was there. Yeah. And Liz and we were in the circle watching you. And then we watched you. We cheered you on. Chris wanted to do this thing where he put the red circle nose on his face at a funny moment. Oh, yeah. They filmed him. I don't think it made it to the final cut.

Because they were filming you guys as my like cheer circle. Yeah, go. So there are cameras on you. So Chris was trying to do a bit. Yes. And everything, yeah, that was all fun and games down there. Yeah. it yes and everything yeah that was all fun and games down there yeah and then but and then after after you finished um and and we were like oh no and then nick swisher comes by and gives us like

this incredible motivational speech me and chris nick swisher we were talking to nick swisher for like 25 minutes and i don't think we looked at each other, me and Chris. And we were like, I don't think I've ever felt better in my entire life than after talking to Nick Swisher. He was the greatest guy. So positive, so motivational.

I felt like life was new and fresh and I could do anything. Anything he said, he should have been, well, he should have been your Subaru. Why was he giving you guys advice? I don't know. That's just

who he is he comes by he goes yeah was he like trying to make you feel good about my performance is that his do you remember anything I think he just exudes joy and happiness I mean he's a millionaire well you can't he's actually dead well I can still look he died he killed himself I'm just kidding that'd be so funny I mean I mean, not funny, but ironic, I guess. No, he's still with us. Think about the trajectory of a major league baseball player's life. It's like you're the best baseball player. So when you're in high school and stuff, you're very popular.

Then you go to college. You get a scholarship. Then you get drafted by the New York Yankees. Then you're a millionaire. At what point is your life sad? So he really has no reason to not be joyful and happy i mean there are tons of people that are yeah can be very successful and just sad because if you have bad parents you had to put you know but yes you're right he had

he seemed to appreciate his life and appreciate everything he's been given he was just and the thing that stuck out to me about him is that i thought he was a pa on the show he didn't come off like he was walking around like a celebrity he was just talking to everyone and just so nice but not in a way that's like this guy is like trying to be an everyman type thing sometimes you see celebrities doing that where you're like easy we get it right you know you're like special and you want to spread your little celebrity sparkle everywhere. Yes, so people, but it didn't seem motivated that way.

So it was just me and Chris high-fiving World Series champion Nick Swisher as happy as can be. Meanwhile, Nicky is getting rafted across a little pool. Yes. And I will say that there was also this one part where you had to run across, it was almost like a picture of kebab that has blocks on it, like cubes.

And then you run across and those cubes spin and you have to run across the kebab. I would hate even trying all this. So I fell. During the trapeze thing, I fell in the water and my shoes get completely soaked. Okay. So for the next part, I just, for the kebab, I was like, let me go barefoot because my shoes are soaked and it's really uncomfortable. So I went barefoot, not knowing that you can get injured if you're barefoot. And no one's looking out for any of these celebrities.

So I broke my toe on the kebab. Then I also fell. Oh, I fell so hard. I forget which part I did. Oh, my God. You were so bru I fell so hard. I forget at which part I did. Oh, my God. You were so bruised up. I got turf burn. Is that what it's called?

Mat burn? I think it was called turf toe. I had turf toe. Turf toe is really bad. And then I had rug burn, like mat burn so hard on my legs. I had like third degree. I mean, I'm not kidding you. You had bruises all over your legs too.

I was not healed for months after that show. I could have probably sued because I was so injured from this stupid show where I didn't even go far. And I hope those kids with cancer survive because of my $15,000. So I hope that they got like, they hired a clown to come in to the hospital that day. Wait, did you still get money? My $15,000 went nowhere. I mean, what is that going to do for anyone in a cancer ward? That's like a penny.

That's going to pay for one screen reading. Yes. No, it's going to pay for like a bell they ring when they survive or whatever. It's like, just donate the bell. Yeah. You're right. I really got had with that whole thing. It was not about kids with cancer.

It was about making a TV show. I should have dropped out. I wish I would have. It was one of those times in my life where i was like i wish i would have listened to my instinct which was i hate this i don't want to do this i'm not good at this i'm not you know going into something like last night my friend was really depressed and didn't want to go do a comedy set even though she had one and she's like i should go i feel guilty and i'm like don't go because you're not gonna be she's like but what you know i know that she was feeling guilt because what if someone's in the audience i can see her that night and change her life you're not gonna do a good job if you're

depressed on stage and you're dreading it and you hate it you're gonna actually that person's gonna see you and remember you as the girl who bombed because you were so upset so like listen to those voices in your head that say don't go because I think so many times people in our lives surround us with like, what's the worst that could happen? Just do it. Fight past the fear.

Fear sometimes kind of tells you what to do and not do. So anyway, Barmageddon was not a, I didn't care anymore because this wasn't like, I have no ego anymore when it comes to being good at sports.

It's been beaten out of me by Ninja Warrior and Dancing with the Stars. There's nothing you could do. Nothing I could do on TV sports rise and how it will never embarrass me anymore. I really am immune to it. People were like embarrassed for me, I think, but I just don't care anymore. I wasn't embarrassed for you at all. I was like, I was so proud of you getting out there.

And not caring what people think. Yeah. Exactly. That's where you get the, that's where people like have any kind of joy for watching what you do.

It's like, she just doesn't care. You made it so fun too. I was like, well, mom was commenting on women in Nashville who are just like

bigger girls that wear really tiny things and she's just like, they just don't care. I would never, I could never ever, but I'm like, I'm so proud of these girls.

Like for looking like shit. Don't they don't care. And not caring and looking totally unlovable. I think it's amazing. I think it's amazing. No, it is. There is something to that.

When you see someone where you go, if I looked like that, I'd not leave my house. But they're wearing that outfit for sure. And they just don't seem to care. I love it. They embrace it. And I'm like, God love them. God love them. Yeah. That's sorry.

Because that's the only person that will. No, that's not how I feel at all. It was just a joke. Don't come at me. Treat me like a man and don't come at me. Treat me like a man and don't come at me for saying horrible things, which is something I've noticed. When you're a man,

you can say really awful things on podcasts that are just like the worst thing. Not you, Brian, because you have a feminine energy. They'd probably come after you. You have feminine energy. When you're like Andrew Santino,

Bobby Lee, Tim Dillon, Chris DiStefano, you can say the most racist, crazy shit ever. Because it's a joke. Because you're joking. And they should be able to say it. And everyone laughs. And they share the clips.

But if you're a woman and say something that is hateful, injust, you're taken very seriously. And I want to get in this men's club where you get a free pass and i'm not hating on those guys i actually i think they're the funniest people going right but they just for some reason i i look at these clips and i i hate to play this if if they were a woman they would be canceled but i do believe women aren't how can you get into that club how can you establish your persona? You just, you,

I'm on my next special, I'm going hard and I'm calling it. I'm going to, I just like was like assessing my jokes and I'm like, I'm just kind of trying to play it safe so that people don't hate me

with these jokes. So therein, you like, if they sense you're scared, they'll jump on that. You know, like I'm scared a little bit of getting canceled and having people be mad at me. That's why I'm even saying these caveats of I'm not really meaning that.

I was just saying a joke. I don't actually think people who are. Yeah, you seem to have to say that after. Yeah, because I still have this fear. But if I just go hard and I'm unapologetic and I kind of want to call the special something like I I'm a bad person. Or like, bad thoughts. I must be a bad person. Or like, I just want to get a, like I've talked about before,

like saying what it is so that people can't go, she's a bad person. It's like, well, she told us she was. And I'm not a bad person. I just have really dark thoughts. And guess what? I can't help my thoughts. I can't help what I say.

I would argue I can't help what I say because there's no free will, but that's another conversation. Let's say I can help what I say. I can't help what I think. So if someone is thinking, man, if I looked at that, I'd kill myself, but good for her.

You can't sit, for some reason, even thinking it, people would say you should be canceled for thinking it but i can't help that i thought it so what am i supposed to do i i think i'd be really careful i hate i'm just telling you my mom doesn't want me to take any chances ever she's always like nicky i wouldn't do it well i have enough money to retire so if i live modestly the rest of my life i mean you're not to get any cars or anything what?

I could get cancelled tomorrow you're in the perfect place to do this right now especially just the state of the industry like you could if the industry cancelled you or whatever you could make millions of dollars just like Tim Dillon just like Andrew Schultz on YouTube

my audience would follow me somewhere. People that like what I do would follow me. I'm so appreciative of that because you don't really need anything when you have that kind of built-in crowd that will pay you directly. Andrew Schultz bought his special back from Amazon or Netflix or whatever

and then made five times as much money releasing it himself. Can someone buy back his special from me? I regret spending that money. I'm just kidding. Canceled. I think with all those people, the difference is that when they started,

they introduced themselves to the public with that persona of, I'm going to say whatever. And they're not trying to be on ABC dancing in a costume as a snowflake. They're not trying to be on abc dancing in a costume as a snowflake they're not you know they're not trying to to play both sides like one female comedian who got away with that is sarah silverman i mean she says a lot of stuff that probably most women would get canceled for and she gets with it i think because she established her persona like this is who i am yes this is what

i'm gonna do the whole time if you're not on board why are you watching me stick it i don't wanna and by the way i'm not someone who wants anyone to feel bad about who they are or like like if i and i'm also someone who when i say something negative i'll admit that it was a bad thing to say and that i'm sorry if it hurt anyone's feelings i can't help though that I thought it. And I can live with that. I'm not just out there trying to hurt people. But do you see clips like that, Brian, where you just go,

I can't believe this person has a career after saying something like that. Whereas people have been canceled for so much less. Like for women only or for men and women? No, like there's this clip that I watch all the time that is one of my favorites where it's i can't even i won't even describe it because it's saying that it's one of my favorites people will go you're clearly racist because you think that's funny but it's like a thing from um andrew santino and bobby lee's podcast bad friends where they're arguing

about who has more black people at their show i think i showed it to you yeah you did and i will describe it they're both arguing back and forth about who has more black people at their show. I think I showed it to you, Mom. Oh, yeah, you did. And I will describe it. They're both arguing back and forth about who has more black people at their individual stand-up shows. And Andrew's like, I have more black people at my show in any market. I get black people coming out to my shows

in Spokane, like saying, you know. And then Bobby's like, oh, I could get black people in Spokane and I get the good ones. And then all of a sudden they just stop and and and bobby he says good ones and then he just puts his head in his hands because he knows exactly like he's just said something horrible and then andrew they just cut to him and he's just looking straight in the camera and he goes keep it in keep it in don't don't

it's just so funny and i'm laughing at something that is racist. But I feel like if I said that, but I don't know, maybe I wouldn't be. I don't want to play that card all the time, but I would like to be in that same. So I think it's just got to go harder. Well, I get why you want to do this. I mean, good. Bring it out.

Bring it out. I'm nervous. Don't. You know who though? I know. I'm a little nervous watch ali wong i watched ali wong special don wong this weekend chris and i are watching a lot of stand-up specials because we're getting ready to produce mine together and we watched like a couple female comic specials and we were like okay we see what's working here we see with like but we're not laughing and then we put on ali wongs and we're both dying laughing because this bitch is just she's not perform like she's being performative because she does talk in

a very funny way i don't know if you've ever seen her stand-up but her cadence is like almost a hip-hop like uh delivery i can't even like do it justice but it's like you know you see her talk in the show beef or you see her in interviews and then you see her on stage and she's doing a different delivery, but there's, and it's performative in that way, but she's saying real shit. Like at one point she's just like,

I want to cheat on my husband. So badly. And it's like, you can tell she's probably said that line a bunch because it's in her special, but it comes across so genuine, so real because it is real and it's a fucking crazy thing to say and now she's divorced and one way she goes i'm having a midlife crisis like but

there's it's just it was the difference between someone it was just age honestly it made me excited about being older because watching younger stand-ups you just are seeing a more like i'm trying to hit these places where i'm trying i've done and i did it before too like i look at my old specials and i'm like just you're just more mechanical and you're like following the beats whereas she's like really feeling it and it was just watching her special blew my mind because it was just so it wasn't as like sharply written in terms of like joke joke joke joke joke which i can really appreciate sometimes but the feeling behind it made ever made it so much better than any joke laden special and there were i mean there's tons of jokes in jokes in it, but it wasn't as calculated.

It just felt like more real. And I just really, and she's widely successful. And she was saying the craziest, at one point she was like, I love getting cum on my face. I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy. Gimme, gimme, gimme.

And I was like, oh my God, she is commercially one of the most successful women going. And she did a special where she said, yummy, yummy, yummy. Come on my face. Give it to me. Get it in my eye. I go, you can do anything. Women can do anything.

It really made me feel great. Okay, we're going to take a quick break and we're going to talk about Barmageddon, which we didn't get to. And we're going to talk about Taylor Swift. Don't you even think we won? Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same,

our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we have had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another

season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Good people, what's up? It's Questo, Questlove. Limitless answers. Something for everybody. Every type of musical ever. We enjoy speaking to the people who were the face of some movements. Some people you've seen on stage or TV or magazine covers. But we also love speaking to the folks who were making it happen behind the scenes. And they paved the way for those that followed.

You know, keystones to the culture. This season, we've had some amazing one-on-one conversations. Like I'm Pete Bill chatting up with hit maker Sam Holland. Sugar Steve chatting with the legend Nick Lowe. amazing one-on-one conversations like I'm a bill chatting up with hip maker, Sam Holland, sugar, Steve chatting with the legend, Nick Lowe. And I've had pleasures of doing one-on-one conversations with Willow, Sonata,

Matreya, Kathleen, Hannah, and the RZA. These are conversations you won't hear anywhere else. So make sure you go back and you check those episodes out. All right. Listen to quest love Supreme on the I heart radio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. those episodes out, all right? Listen to Questlove Supreme on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery.

The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community. And I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the My Gulura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, so Blake Shelton comes into the green room.

No, first. First. First. When you were like, he came in, he's like, Nikki, and we were all with a bunch of people. Okay. And they were setting up for one of the games. Yes. That the axe throwing.

Did I give away anything? Oh, no. People aren't going to watch now. Spoiler alert. Axe throwing. Logan Roy dies in this episode. Oh, God. Of Armageddon.

Anyway, you're like axe to the head. This is my mom, and he's like, and I'm like, hi, I was shaking his hand. And he's like, oh no. And he comes up and gives me a big hug. And he's like, no, we got a hug. And he gives her a hug. He is, first of all, so adorable. He's really cute.

It's funny, when I told Chris that Blake Shelton was amazing, he was like, are you serious? Am I going to have to like this guy now? And I go, yeah, unfortunately. Because you want to not like Blake Shelton. If you're someone who doesn't like country music a lot you don't like that oh you don't like any like he's just a guy that you'd go oh this guy's probably just a no nothing about him he is genuine he's

nice he wasn't hugging my mom because it was like presentational it was no he was just being sweet because I was gonna shake his hand he's like oh. And it was like he gave me a sincere hug. And it was like, oh, my God. This is so cute. So cute. He's adorable. And then we're up in the green room after the darts. Or no, sorry, the axe.

There's no darts. Don't worry. Oh, yes, there were. No, no, mom. Don't give away everything. No one's going to watch this episode of Barbageddon on USA Network at 12 o'clock at night. on usa if you were gonna ask me what's gonna be in a bar competition yeah i mean darts and axe throwing would be like my top two choices can i just say this show is amazing because everything all the games are called really funny things like the the and this is from first season too so if you watch

the show first season you know um don't be an Axhole is the name of the first game. And then the darts are called sharts for Shelton darts. Oh, okay. I would never guess that. They get away with really funny names. It's a fun game. It's amazing the stuff they're getting away with on this show. It was fun.

It's really fun. And so then Blake comes up to this green room. And let me just say, I don't know if you know this. He had a whole separate green room. That up to this green room and let me just say i don't know if you know this there that wasn't he had a whole separate green room he had a green room yeah that was his own private one that most of the celebrities i mean carson daly went to his private green room nikki went to hers blake made a point to go to ours and hang out in ours not just to drop by and say hey he sat down so it's me blake and my mom all sitting around then i get pulled to go do a social media thing. And I was like, where are you going?

And so I'm like, I'm just going to leave you two alone. I snapped a picture on my way out of the room because it's just Blake and my mom sitting alone in a room. And I left you and I go, she'll be fine. And he has every, he could just make up. If he wants to leave, he can just go. I got to go touch him on makeup or whatever. But they sat there for 15 minutes and talked.

What did you guys talk about? He asked me so many questions. Like, he was totally interested in my life. But we were talking about grandkids. And I'm like, well, have you been around little kids? He's like, well, Gwen's kids. Yeah, my mom forgot that he was married to Gwen. No, I didn't forget.

I didn't know Gwen. He had three little boys. Oh, okay. So, you know, they were young. He's been with her 10 years. And she didn't even know the bar was his? No, didn't forget. I didn't know Gwen. He had three little boys. Oh, okay. So, you know, they were young. And she didn't even know the bar was his. No, didn't he? So she goes, this place is great. I said, this place is amazing. Yeah. And he's like,

yeah, it is nice, isn't it? And then someone told me later, well, he owns this bar. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. Because we entered the back way. We didn't see all the signage and stuff. No, I didn't see anything. And really, it would look like I knew nothing about him which i don't i only knew he was married to gwen yeah and he's on the voice been on the voice for 23 seasons wow yeah i know isn't that crazy that show's been on that long yeah but he's such a genuine person what else

he was he has gonna tell me a great story about his mother and his old boss when he was a roofer. He was a roofer? Yeah, he was a roofer when he was like 17 in Oklahoma. And he liked his boss. And he's like, you should ask my mom out. And he's like, she's too old for me. And so he said, I used to do little gigs around Oklahoma. And one night his mom came and this roofer boss came and his mom went up and said,

I'm too old for you and she smacked him across the face. And they've been married since. That's so funny. Yeah, they're totally in love and live in Oklahoma. And it makes sense because I was like,

oh, you know what? He's attracted to these badass women. Yeah. You know, Gwen Stefani, Miranda Lambert, like his history. Like he kind of is attracted to like women who are like,

I know Hollaback Girl, you know, like they're like these tough broads. And it's like, oh, it always goes back to your mom. I think that's why

he was attracted to me. Yeah, probably. Ah, there was a vibe. No, I'm not kidding. Watch out, Gwen. He was so sweet. Yeah. He would just hang out and he just would, there was a vibe no i'm not kidding he was so sweet and we just hung out and he just went there was no let's talk about the donuts oh yeah oh anyway we had gone down so finally they called him and he said you want to walk down with me and i'm like sure so i'm we're following him out and

there's these rack of donuts by the elevator in the kitchen part. And I said, what are those for? And he goes, I don't know. I kind of want one. And I said, well, maybe you can get one later or something. I said, I don't know. I'm sure they're for something. So we went down. And of course, this was fun.

The whole set was all staged. And everybody's sitting in their places. Audience and all the contestants. This is the horse thing? No, with the big billiard. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, give another one away. Billiards in a bar?

I'm crazy. But it's not exactly what you think. They kind of turn it on its side, literally. It's kind of funny. So we walk in, and everybody's just looking at me like, oh, you're walking in with Blake? I looked at Nikki, and I went, oh, look at this. Yeah.

Look at me. Yeah. Anyway, no, he just was the sweetest guy. Okay, donuts. Oh, donuts. Anyway, so we go back up. He's no longer hanging out with me. I don't know what I did.

He found some other mom. Yeah, he found another mom. Anyway, we go back up. How magical. And there's this guy that works there in the kitchen with four big, huge bags of garbage bags. And I said, where are those donuts? And he said, they're in there.

And I said, they're in the garbage? And he said, yeah, we're throwing them out. And I'm like, wait a minute. Can you open one of these? Because one of the girls was taking me up. One of the PAs was guiding me up there. I'm like, they're throwing these donuts away. Blake wanted one of the girls was taking me up. One of the PAs was guiding me up there. I'm like, they're throwing these donuts away. Blake wanted one of these donuts.

So I just got, I took out, I said, can I have some? He goes, yeah, go ahead. And I'm like taking it. They're all perfect on top. And I'm like stacking them on a plate. And I'm like, great. And so I take them up. I put them in the green room.

And all these other people were in the green room. They all knew mom dug these out of the trash. And I mean, it was a put them in the green room and all these other people were in the green room. They all knew mom dug these out of the trash. And I mean, it was a fresh trash bag. It was just donuts. Fresh trash. It was,

he would have eaten them if they had done it. I went in and told these girls, I said, I dug these out of the trash. I said, they were going to throw these out. I said,

you guys didn't even touch these donuts. I said, you could have. I said, but I'm glad you didn't because I think Blake wants one of these. And they're like, they're going, oh. And then I was standing in the doorway over here and Blake walks back

in there and everybody's in there and all Nikki's hair people and stuff. And I told him the story and no one mentioned that. He goes, oh, look, donuts. She told the girls the story. So then Blake comes in and goes, oh, donuts. Where'd those girls the story so then blake comes in and goes oh donuts where those come from and everyone was silent because no one wanted to say they're from the trash

yeah so he didn't get a donut but then my mom brought the donuts home my mom brought the donuts home on a plate she had like to the hotel to the hotel and they were never eaten the whole week i ate half of one wait you ate half of one later that night okay i don't even really eat donuts speaking of advocating for yourself with the subaru situation and how that all ended up working for you i have to say i had a victory this weekend with that we actually had a couple things where we called and like made things happen that i would usually let go so on taylor swift night um i had ordered from this place two nights uh prior or i'd ordered from post place two nights prior, or I'd ordered from Postmates two nights in a row, Wednesday night and Thursday night, and got food delivered

to this hotel. No issue. I didn't have to meet the guy at the front desk. I just, they just dropped it off at the front desk and they brought it up to my hotel because it's a nice hotel. Most of the time you have to go to the lobby. Hotels are like, we're not bringing it to you, but this is a nice one. They brought it up.

No issue, right? The guy didn't call me to be like, where do I take it? Like, it was clearly, it's a hotel. So then on the Taylor Swift night, I know this restaurant I really want from, they're closed at 9. So I ordered at 7 for the restaurant to bring our food at 9. We get back at 11.30 after the show. And I need, because nothing would be open by then. So, except like shitty bar food.

And so, or like shitty bar food and so um or like you know trash donuts and so I was like we'll have this food so I'm at Taylor Swift I'm in the middle of the show and I get a call I getting all these calls on my phone and I'm just pressing like ignore ignore um then I'm getting things from Postmates but it's not delivering until like minutes later and Postmates is like if you don't meet your courier if you don't get back to him if you don't respond we are canceling the order 10 minutes past the courier is writing me if i don't hear from you so then they cancel my order they have the food at the hotel because i'm not like coming down to get it just take it to the front desk like you have every

other night so my order gets canceled that food gets just i i am out a hundred dollars worth of food that is just all he had to do was leave it at the front desk, but instead this guy wanted to call, and I needed a code to send him. And so I'm at Taylor Swift. I'm furious because I'm already hungry. I'm looking forward to this meal at the end of the night. It's 9 o'clock.

I have two and a half hours to go before the show's over. And then we have to walk all the way back to our hotel. I'm like, I don't have any food back there. This was supposed to be my meal. I'm so pissed. And there's nothing I can do because it's just canceled. So I was just like mad about it. And then I was almost so mad that I was like, couldn't enjoy the show because I was just

like, you fuck up everything. You always get, you never get any deals. You always lose money. This is the way your life is. Like, I'm just like having this kind of go through my head of like, you just get fucked over. Yeah. Spiraling about just extra costs because I am someone who doesn't follow up.

I always pay more. I never try to like, Hey, is there a way I could like get this lower? I just never get a deal. I'm always just hemorrhaging money because I feel guilty for existing. And so I was like, God,

what is wrong with me? I'm here's another $124 just down the drain. And then I'm mad about the food that probably just got thrown in the trash. Right. Like donuts. Like those fucking donuts. Like those donuts. And so I'm just like, I wasted food, which could go and like, you know, people and animals

had to like work for that food because I think you ordered some animal products. And I'm just like so obsessed with. No, I didn't. I had a portobello. Oh, that's okay. So those mushrooms that had to die for that food it was just like annoying to me to waste food and so I was pissed but then I got over and I was like you are not gonna let this ruin yeah you said that six thousand dollar concert you bought you are I have to just enjoy the show I will find food after the show let it go and then I kind of thought this is so dumb to get mad about

food because that food would be gone by 12 o'clock tonight and turned into poop. So what is the big difference? The only difference is I didn't get to taste it. Otherwise, it all turns to waste anyway. So I was kind of thinking about poop and making myself feel better at the concert while Taylor Swift is on stage singing. It'll be food for bacteria now. Yeah. Yes. I was just like, you know what? It all goes to waste anyway, so it doesn't matter. While Taylor Swift is on stage singing. It'll be food for bacteria now. Yeah.

Yes. I was just like, you know what? It all goes to waste anyway, so it doesn't matter. And I think that really helped me was like, so I just didn't get to taste food. That's really all I'm lamenting. The money would have been gone either way. It just would have been, I missed out on tasting good food. You ruined it for me with the poop.

Yeah. Okay, good. So it's all good. So then, but I told Chris the story two days later and he was like, you got to get that money back. I said the same thing. I go, I don't know what I'm going to do. And so I just pull, but then I go,

I spend so much fucking money on Postmates. I bet any, if I write to them, they're going to look at my order history and know that they're going to miss out on, if they piss me off, they're missing out on thousands of dollars a year. So I wrote to them and I explained the whole thing via the chat thing which never really works when you're chatting with like one of those people that's like hi i'm daniel i'm here to help you

how can i be of service and it's like dot dot dot and they're just writing to you daniel fucking took care of it right away and not only did he give me all my money back he gave me ten dollars extra for inconveniencing me i was like i couldn't i was so happy that i got that money back it was all because i just like took the initiative to like ask questions and to like get into a little bit more god damn it we're already at that final thought okay so well you're also nikki glazer like most of these companies will bend over backwards to make sure you're satisfied because you could talk and talk about this shit. Oh, right.

Well, Postmates, thank you so much. Final thought. Let's talk about Taylor Swift. Okay, let's do. Yeah, we have 10 minutes. Okay. Okay, so we go to the concert. Did you know that we were...

I was thinking about going on Sunday night. I actually had a bestie who offered me tickets. Shout out to her. Thank you so much. That was so nice of you. Oh, I didn't hear that. But I turned it down because I didn't want to like wait in town

for two more days just to go to a show that I've seen four times now. Sunday night, it rained all night long. Oh. And her show was delayed two hours. So that show did not end until 1.30 in the morning. Oh my God. And you know she did the whole show. So that show did not end until 1.30 in the morning. Oh, my God. And you know she did the whole show.

She did the whole show in pouring rain. Oh, my God. So it was kind of cool because that's kind of like a tradition of hers. There's always rain shows that are super special. And everyone's excited that they were at a rain show. I'm happy I wasn't at a rain show. Because I will say we were almost at a rain show on Friday night for Taylor Swift. Because it was raining during

it started raining. Phoebe Bridgers played. She's amazing. It was so awesome to see not only Taylor Swift, but Phoebe Bridgers who is like my second favorite musical artist right now. And it started raining during her set and we got We were prepared. Yeah. Well,

this callback, what did you do? Well, you told me to go out. You were taking a little nap and you said, go try to find us some ponchos. Go to these couple of stores. And I'm like, nobody had any. So I finally went to this local grocery store and these two gals were like, no, but we still have some heavy duty garbage bags in the back. And they brought out scissors and they were like, I'm like-

Were these women black? Yes. I could just tell by the voice you did. I tried not to do that. I just could tell. But they were the sweetest girls ever. I can't believe they pulled out scissors from the office in the grocery store

to help you. She came out with the two bags and she said and another girl came over to go here's the scissors and i'm like oh nice there were four women involved in this and trying to help me with this mom and i had these makeshift ponchos and they were so there's a picture that i'm going to post of my mom in her i was laughing so hard you were laughing so hard and this this poncho i don't know why it was so funny to me but you were just you look so funny in this trash bag and then it stopped raining and my mom stayed in the trash bag and

it was like not raining for 10 minutes and i go and this was right before it was like during the time between phoebe and taylor where there's no one on stage and my mom we were just in these trash bags and then eventually i took mine off and she goes it looks like it's not raining anymore i go it hasn't been raining for 10 minutes and you go well you gotta tell me nick and then you came out of the bag but then taylor took the stage and i swear to god like it had been spitting rain up until the second she took the stage and then there was no rain the entire concert and it was like it was as if she controlled the weather it was like and i wasn't even worried it was so funny because before she came on stage i was like is it gonna rain but like stay away because the clouds are over.

It's just like that kind of weather where it could start raining any second. But when she took the stage, it was as if there was no chance of rain. Like it was still in the air kind of, but I was like, it just won't happen because she's there's something special. So the show was great as usual. I know I'm at the point now where i don't have to look at my set list anymore to know where she's going i know what song goes into next song i know all of the like versions of the song she does that are different than the studio version like all like some of the interlude versions of the songs i um for swifties out there the very best one she does is the um

illicit affairs where it's like don't call me kid don't call me baby she does is the Illicit Affairs where it's like, don't call me kid. Don't call me baby. She does it like four times. And it's like she's on the ground like flailing around. And that is my favorite part of the ERA's tour by far. And also the beginning when all these guys are out there with fans. And then all of a sudden they put the fans down and then they lift them up and she's there. And she goes, it's been a long time coming.

That's so exciting. What's your favorite part of the show? whole show is a spectacle yeah just my mom i just keep looking at my mom and she just goes she's so cute she's so cute she is so amazing she just is she is there's no doubt about it that show is probably the best production i've ever seen it's insane yeah and i've seen a lot of fire there's's fire, there's lights, there's stages moving. It's just so affecting everyone in the whole place. Everybody is just freaking out.

And her voice is so good. There's no like, she's not phoning in anything. No. There's no backing vocals. And effortless. Effortless. Effortless.

I mean, she looks like she's. But let's talk about the elephant in the room um and that is what would bring us to why do i care why do i care okay noah let's hear the headline because there's a lot that went down this weekend in taylor swift's love life um or speculation of it okay so the latest headline is, Taylor Swift and Matt Healy, like each other, were reconnected by Jack Antonoff, sources say. Oh, I didn't hear that, but I assumed that.

I will only speak to what I know that the general public knows, and I will not speak to anything I might know from people who know things behind the scenes. Oh, you do know. I may or may not, but Swifties do not want to accept that Matt Healy and Taylor Swift are together.

I don't blame them. Why? I don't know. Who is Matt Healy? He's from the 1975, which is a band that Taylor swift is a huge fan of and has been um friendly with for a while and um she actually made an appearance at their show in february i think january or february where she did um she performed anti-hero and then she

performed one of the 1975 songs the city and um i noticed that night that she was spectacular and there was, I have to say as someone who has performed in front of boys I like, there's a certain je ne sais quoi that I bring to the performance

when I think Chris is watching or like a guy I like is watching. I just have something else going on. Like that honestly motivates me more than anything is when a guy i like is watching me it's like the best thing for my performance possible and i sensed something from those performances even then that there was someone special there wait where did you see this online

okay um so it's it's a game i actually from that appearance the 1975 were doing a concert and she walks out on stage in the middle of it to do, they give her a couple songs in the middle of it. And when she walks on the stage, I wanted to play a game called Terrorist Attack, or Taylor Swift is walking out on stage. Because the audience screams as if there is a mass shooter in the building.

I mean, it's bananas, these screams. You can barely even watch the video, because it's just, people are just losing their, shredding their voices screaming. It's really painful for me. I was in the crowd when she was walking on stage. People are so loud. So loud. And they really do

wreak havoc on their voices. It's bad for your voice to be that excited. But anyway, so Matt Healy was at the shows in Nashville this weekend. He was the night before on Thursday night or whatever Thursday was in Manila. He was in the Philippines. Is that the Philippines Manila?

Uh-huh. He was doing a concert there with the 1975. He jumped on the first flight out. He was spotted at the airport by a fan. He was on the first flight out to Nashville. You know, it was probably connecting. I don't think they have direct from Manila. So he made it to the show.

He was at the show. He was spotted in the VIP tent, enjoying her set. Swifties want to convince themselves they're just friends. Sorry, guys. They are definitely together. Stop being in denial. Mom and dad are never getting back together. There's a new guy in town.

It's just, it's happening. And everyone's saying he's problematic because he's said things before that are like, he dated younger it's like you're allowed to date a 19 year old i don't care what age you are they're legal i'm sorry it's not problematic it's it's annoying well i can make fun of it he's he's 33 yeah you can date a 19 anyone can't they're legal unfortunately 18 year olds you can date them it's like you can think that's problematic all you want but it's not illegal okay unless you know and 16 is not illegal in many states which is just disgusting but you can think it's disgusting but it's not illegal and she's not doing anything wrong by dating someone and he said some things in the past he's just a rock star who says stupid drunken things sometimes right he's not really problematic he's not a terrible person

shut up let her have fun he's she's she's he's someone that she admires he's a rock star who she obviously shares something in common with as being a prolific uh artist she he's cool he's kind of like offbeat he's a little just like rough around the edges let her have some fun i do believe they are in love because the biggest thing that i saw after that show on friday night and this one was like whoa so in manila i guess it was from his performance you know two nights prior he at one point um set mouthed um this next one's for you you know who you are i love you and then he sang a song that some people are saying could have been about taylor swift because it's a song about a girl all right and then that on our show which i did remember seeing right before cardigan

the song taylor's mouthing something i couldn't make it out. Later on TikTok, they put them both together. She goes, this one's for you. You know who you are. I love you. It's giving me chills on my back of my head. They mouth the same things. They both know what they're doing. They aren't trolling you.

They aren't making fun of the fact that there are rumors about them. They are confirming it. They were spotted together in a car on Saturday night too. They are together. And then she sang Cardigan, which the song is called, in the song it's, and you'd come back to me,

and you'd come back to me. It's all about a guy coming back to her. And they dated before. No one really confirmed it. It was always like, you know, there were suspicions that they dated. They did date before

her and Joe were together. So it makes sense that she would sing that song. They are together. Let her have fun. What he's said in the past is not a reflection of who she is. And he's just a rock star guy. Let her, I don't know. Alright, I'm in. I'm in. I'm in.

I'm in. Let him go. Joe, why should she suffer and, you know, just cry over. Everyone hated Joe when they first got together. Everyone just wants her

to themselves. Yeah. Unless she can be with me. Yeah. I don't want her with anyone. And who is she supposed to be with that has never said one problematic

thing in their life? Everyone is problematic. Everyone. Isn't it true the band's called 1975 because he won't date anybody who was born before them? Good one.

So, yes, they are together. I don't have that confirmed by any inside sources or anything, but I have eyes and ears and a working brain, and from what I can tell, they are together. She is not trolling anyone. And it was also rumored

that Taylor Swift is coming out with a book that will be released in July. And that is very, very exciting. Wow. And it did send me into a kind of depression spiral yesterday because I'm like,

Taylor Swift can write a book and write four albums in a pandemic. I can barely read a book or like listen to an album in that time. I was just going to say that. Memorizing her albums was enough work for me.

As much as I want a book from her, I'm just like, can you just wait a couple years and stop being so goddamn prolific? It's just too much pressure for the rest of us. No one can be this good. She's Paul McCartney. But she is. When Dad and I get into fights about

The Beatles or whether Paul McCartney or But she is. When dad and I get into fights about the Beatles or whether Paul McCartney or Taylor Swift, it's like, it's not even a funny. He's coming around, Nick. Yeah, he better. He is? Yeah, because that's all I do is play Taylor Swift now. And he's imitating her a lot. Yeah, because he.

He's jealous. He's so jealous. He can't stand that someone actually is as good as his beloved Paul McCartney. Okay, we got gotta go. Thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast. We will be back tomorrow. Don't you even think we won't? And I'm gonna be in Europe coming up very soon. Check out

my tour dates. If you are in or around the Europe area, you know that I will be in like 14 cities just next week, all before June 1st, my birthday. It's the last month of my tour

before I'm 39 and I would really like to see you guys on the road. I won't be able to do meet and greets, unfortunately, at these shows, but I will look out

in the audience and see your lovely faces and I really wish you would come see me. I cannot wait. Thank you for listening to the show. Don't be kuh

and just let her date who she wants. Right. Right? Right. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices

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