The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #344 London, Sports Illustrated, A Sultry Voice & Compliments

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

Nikki, Anya and Chris are having a great time in London. Nikki thought her hope for the future was a woman playing guitar at a bar. She gives her hot take on Martha Stewart embracing the cover of Sports Illustrated. Brian shares his 40 things to accomplish before the age of 40 list. Nikki has been ordered to speak with a sultry voice. Before hitting Europe, Nikki and Chris bumped into Justine Lupe of HBO's Succession at the airport. This sparks a conversation about how to talk to anyone and how to receive compliments.   ——— Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian Frange: brianfrange.com More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him.

From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Welcome.

Oh my gosh. What an episode we have for you today. I'm so excited. In the room with me in London, Arizona. I don't know why I wanted to say London, Arizona. In London. Yeah, because there's Paris, Texas. In London, England.

I almost forgot where London was. I'm not even joking you. I think the London Bridge might be in Arizona. Wow. That's 100% correct. The London Bridge from the 1800s is located in Lake Havasu, which is a lake on the border of Arizona. They shipped it there?

In the 1800s, the London Bridge was being rebuilt, and they auctioned it off to a rich billionaire who lived in Lake Havasu, and he brought it piece by piece, and it was rebuilt in the 1960s in Lake Havasu. So if you go to Arizona, you can drive there in about five hours from L.A., you can walk across the actual London Bridge from 1800s time. Oh, my God. That's pretty amazing, right? Did you just do that off the top of the dome?

That he knows all that, or that you knew that, do that off the top he knows all that or that you knew that too no that brian knows yeah a little encyclopedia brown over there that was so impressive brian frangie's here he's in los angeles thank you um and then i'm i'm in london with anya marina and chris convy and then noah is in arizona and um we got to london today um oh by the way i'm trying to speak like this more because if i speak sultry it protects my voice and that's what my voice teacher taught me yesterday is that i just need to lean into being more sultry it's not going to protect this relationship yeah it won't i mean the guys are going to be throwing their dicks at my head when i walk down the street talking like this.

Excuse me, sir. Where is the Pret-a-Manger? Oh, wait. I'm going to put a single block here. What? There's a Pret-a-Manger everywhere here. Do you love them, Brian? No.

In fact, I have a bad memory with a Pret-a-Manger because they sell these sandwiches and all their sandwiches are on a long piece of French bread. And I remember one time I was taking a class at UCBb and i would bring a long uh pret a manger sandwich every eat it throughout the whole class i mean bite by bite like the game of thrones cookie sort of but what i didn't realize that secretly the rest of the class was judging me because about five weeks into the class i was eating it and then somebody, and I said, oh, is it bothering anybody that I'm eating this sandwich? And they said, no, but I just think it's funny that you're eating an entire loaf of bread every week.

And then everybody laughed, like they'd all been talking about it. They were like, zip, zap, yes. It's very annoying. And then they had an intervention and said you had BO. Oh my God, we were just talking about this. The BO intervention. I do like the asking after the fact. It dawned on you after doing this eight weeks in a row,

maybe I should check in and see if this bomb wasn't ready. But it wasn't the fact that I was eating the sandwich. They thought I was weird for eating an entire french bread but that's just the way the sandwiches are sold it's not my fault well we were just talking about that the yesterday is like french people will just get a loaf of bread and eat that loaf of bread on the walk home yeah with like nothing on it because that's how good the bread bread is and americans will get a loaf of bread and cry themselves to sleep in shame because they had a couple of bites.

Yes. I mean, Martha Stewart just said that she stopped eating bread to prepare for her Sports Illustrated cover. Oh, what's your take on that? That's one. Ready? Don't even get me started on this.

And go. It's not empowering at all. This is why they do four covers now so they can like kind of tokenize the covers and like we'll give one to an old woman. We'll give one to someone who never would have a chance. This is a,

this is a catalog that is for horny men to look at and masturbate to and for women to look at and throw up to or what like, you you know push them towards their eating disorders this we know what this is stop trying to change what it is it's supposed to make you feel bad about yourself as a woman it's supposed to make you think i can never be that and in they're trying to be like we're inclusive meanwhile anya's point yesterday was it's still not inclusive.

Even 81-year-old Martha Stewart is not giving, 81-year-old women don't stand a fucking chance. They, Sports Illustrated hates old women. She's had, come on,

multiple surgeries to look that fantastic. She looks fantastic. She looks like a, she looks great. Like a 37-year-old woman. Hey, easy. Take offense to that.-old woman. Hey, easy.

Take offense to that. I mean, that shit is tight. Yeah, she looks great, but this is not something. She said she stopped eating bread, and she started going to Pilates every other day. And I'm sure she did do those things, but that's not the whole story. And it's not a story of empowering. This is telling women, if you get surgery and fight aging and do all of these things then maybe we'll consider you for the cover but it's pandering to me oh my god there's a woman naked across the way oh oh yeah she doesn't know we can see her oh she does oh she

she's into it martha stewart yeah she totally does it's martha stewart no yeah i mean she looks her age she's Stewart yeah she's European she's like ugh god they're podcasting over there that's heinous why don't you

close a window way more embarrassing than being seen naked three jackals with a microphone just like glaring out the window with their tongues out

yeah so I mean any other takes that we have on the Martha Stewart thing well the thing that bothers me is i mean at some point you know an aging woman does get to be like i'm just like i've i have wrinkles i'm i'm like i don't need to try to be hot right and i think martha

stewart has kicked this can down the road and now we can never give up. 75 year old women are like, now I gotta, I gotta chase Martha Stewart down. I just want to, I can't wait to ease into turtlenecks. Right. I've uncovered something new. Yeah.

Isn't there a time where people should just be able to like give into their aging? Yes. Yes. Yes. And there, but you, you're never off the clock now. You're always,

you are always on guard for like you could be hot there could be something you could do you're never allowed to just be and yeah for me I was just kind of rolling my eyes when I saw it it was not like yes it's so cool they put

an older woman on there if you fell for that good for you you're falling for, this is, this is old men trying to figure out how to make money off of you. It's surgery.

And get pressed. So she's, she's had surgery, obviously, like face stuff. Then she, like incredible lighting, I'm sure on that shoot

and then airbrush retouch. Oh yeah. There's not a single crease on her chest. There's not anything on her neck. And she can afford private chefs. Yes. That's what I was thinking. All of the upkeeks. There's not a single crease on her chest. There's not anything on her neck. And she can afford private chefs. Yes.

Pilates instructors. That's what I was thinking. All of the upkeeps. It's not ideal for regular 81-year-olds. Mm-mm. No. But I will say that every time Camille Kostick is on Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover, it makes me feel great because she is a full-figured gal that is not that makes me feel like really good and doesn't seem to be

trying to be anything other than herself and she's someone who i follow and it gives me great self-esteem because she's like the hottest girl going and look chris is looking you're up now yeah you're gonna like this you're gonna like what you see. Padma is also in Sports Illustrated. Oh, Padma looks great. Her ass. Padma is just, Padma is, you know. There you go. I mean, so is Camille, but Padma is otherworldly.

She's just so, so, you know, she's a supermodel. It just doesn't, you know, they're aliens. We're not supposed to be able to look at like them. But don't you like. Is that Gronkowski's? Gronkowski. Camille Kostick is Gronk's gal and she's she's like a acquaintance of mine we're friendly how who is this person camille now click on that this is what i'm talking about this makes me feel good i don't know this camera she's been on you is she a model or does she do anything else she's just a beautiful person she's very Kostick. She's very sweet. She's really nice.

I'm the only person that doesn't know who she is. That's how I know about her. We did a dance to Taylor Swift one time together with Andrew. Oh, yes. I saw a video of that. That was the thing. I like Rob Gronkowski.

Yeah, do you? I like retired Rob Gronkowski. I hated him when he played because he always defeated my teams, but I like him. I like his persona post-NFL. The goofy, lovable. He's good on things. Yeah.

He's in on the joke. Yeah. He seems cool. I like their relationship. Can we hit the sports talk bumper really quick, Noah? I do love it when you guys have a brief. He does the USAA commercials

where he tries to get the insurance from the military and they say, you can't because you've never been in the military. And he goes, oh man. Jesus. You guys witness other ads than I do. The Michelin Man or whatever the hell it was last night. The Mitchum Man. I totally missed that.

We're in London. Even today when we were, I think we were in Vienna and we were headed to the airport and there was like a ref whistle. Like you could hear it on the radio. Our driver was listening to it. And I almost asked Chris, we were in the middle of conversation,

so I didn't, but I wanted to be like, is, did that like, did your mouth start watering? Just like there's whistles going off and there's some sports somewhere. I do miss watching stuff because I couldn't watch

any of the NBA playoff games. We couldn't get them over yeah and we weren't going to like a bar or anything so yeah i mean there's there's a certain amount of like we went to a bar did we yeah in my hotel our hotel remember no we came back from the show and no we came back i don't know where we came back from and no i ordered you fries and we were waiting for uber eats remember and then the guy we tried to find him and then you got the fries then we got in the elevator and i was like oh that woman singing in the lounge was pretty cool yeah that's i loved the this was yeah i remember that okay so in our hotel in berlin there was like a lounge and on saturday night there was like this

woman who was like it was honestly like anya in 10 years if she wanted to be it was like this cool woman blonde woman playing um electric guitar but like really jazzy cool like beautiful guitar and the guitar sound was great we were listening for like 10 minutes in the hotel lobby we couldn't see her she was in like this bar area yeah we just kind of heard someone singing or like just cool songs and then we walked by because we had to walk by the bar to get to the uber eats because he went around the corner and i walked by and i go oh my god like that's i that's what i want to do i want to play like guitar in a bar like by myself with no band no one to judge just voice guitar love it and then

we were getting back in the elevator and i was like man that's what like i love that woman i just want to do that and chris is like you want to go back down and watch and i was like yeah yeah and so we went in to eat his fries and we sat down and nikki's like this is the this is what i want to be doing like this is the life i was so cool and it was just she was playing all over the neck like she was doing things that i could never do and that I don't I don't really aspire to be like doing you know I don't know

what's called noodling I just kind of like strumming that word is too dismissive it's actually called shredding it's shredding

she was not but she wasn't the music you listen to is called that she was like gently ripping yeah instead of shredding like you know

like it was just gentle it was just so jazzy and smooth you could just tell she was very elite. Trained. Yes. And she just was cool. And then she plays one song.

No band. She was probably like 55. Yeah, mid to late 50s. She just seemed cool. She was working for the hotel where she's like hired to be yeah so she was hired by the hotel she was right when you walk in and we sit down and we're like oh this is gonna be great like we do this for we could do this for a long time yeah just sitting having a drink and she's like playing cool she played it she's playing a

cool song they brought us some nuts i was fishing out the ones that like were green that had like the coating around the nut because I don't really like peanuts. So I was eating the coating. You know those Asian nuts? But then she put everything that was in her hand back in there. And I suspect that they brought that to another table. That's on them.

I don't have evidence of it. But I remember when it was happening. I didn't want the peanuts. But I didn't want him because the waiter already hated me. And so I didn't want him to hate me more with a little pile of peanuts. So I just go, I'm throwing them back in. Yeah, that guy sucked. Yeah, he didn't want the peanuts, but I didn't want him because the waiter already hated me. And so I didn't want him to hate me more with a little pile of peanuts. So I just go, I'm throwing them back in. Yeah, that guy sucked. Yeah, he didn't like us.

So we sit down and we're like, this woman's amazing. This is so exciting. This is Nikki's future in front of us. We're like, this is awesome. And we're sort of like dreaming about this woman's life in a way. But then the song ends and she goes, I'm going on a break. I'm like oh god damn it and then because we don't want to wait like you know 30 minutes yeah we had just gotten there

it's the end of the night we were already ready to go to bed so we go okay we'll pack up and go so she goes to the bar and gets a drink and then walks not just a drink it's a tower of terror it was a tower of beer like a giant beer and i even commented like wow she's a german woman like she was just treating herself you know and i was like oh this is like the life yes she's gonna like treat herself to this delicious beer she's worked hard now she's gonna come back from break and be a little bit looser and like she just owns this place it was so cool so then we had to settle up because we decided to leave so we settled up it took us like a few minutes and um we leave the bar and we walk into the lobby area and we see her humongous beer on the table yeah and i go oh my god she's right there and then we pass by and she is looks despondent i

mean she looks like she's this is what she laid back to like laid back and her head is like this. And she's got her hand on her head like, what has become of my life? Like fainting almost. What am I doing with my life? I hate my life. This is the worst existence. This is like the opening of White Lotus Berlin. Yes.

And it totally was. But it was so funny to us because I had just romanticized her so much and she was just miserable. And then I go, oh my God, that's what so many people think of my life is that. And then I'm like, ugh. And it was just, you can't win ever. The grass is always greener on the other side of the pine tree. I know you don't want to.

There you go. We need to see that beautiful mug. Yeah, so it was really cool to see and then it was like it was also cool to just see like i just was like god if i could play guitar like that i would never be sad again you ever say that to yourself about things of course like what's your thing if i could play piano like that if i could speak french like that if i could earn money like that yeah but i don't believe any of those things will make me never sad again or happy. I mean,

if I could, I have a lot of goals. I have my 40 under 40 and one of them is playing piano for 30 minutes for 30 minutes in front of strangers

without being asked and have them not be annoyed. That's one of my goals. But you won't know until the fourth improv class when they finally tell you. So, we do want to get to this the 40 under 40 brian this is your 40 things you want to do before you turn 40 how old are you now 35 it's

like a five okay so you have five years can we hear some of the things you've already accomplished from this list because they do run the gamut of very simple to bake a cake to impossible ones. I recommend everybody do it because what it does is when you turn a milestone age or any age, you turn that age and then a lot of times you get really sad. But if you look back at all the things you did, you can say, well, I did all the things I said I was going to do.

I lived my life correctly, exactly how I planned it. As long as you do all the goals, which you might fail them all. And then you'd be really sad. So what are some of them? Well, I could pull it up. I have my list right here. Glaze, you should think about yours and Anya. Everybody should think about what theirs should have been.

Right, because we have two people past 40 here 42 i think what yeah three you are well you do 45 under 45 and then you do 50 under 50 okay the amount of goals keeps going up yeah oh right damn it gets hard yeah okay so let's hear some of yours brian i break it down into uh categories i have career hobby hobby, travel, baking. I don't know why that's a whole category. And life. Let's go to life. I would like to pick life for 500, Alex.

Okay, life for 500. One of them that I did in 2021 is ride a horse. Oh, yeah. You've never ridden a horse? I don't know. Not recently. Not that I remember. So I wanted to ride a horse. You just wanted to do it again. Yeah. So ridden a horse i don't know not recently not that i remember so i wanted to ride a horse again yeah so i rode a horse i did it and man do i feel happy uh have you ever ridden a horse yeah when i was like a kid and yeah yeah it is a majestic animal and it did it what did it

feel like to and first of all why did that go on your list? Second of all, how did you feel after? Did you feel like you thought you would feel? Why did the horse go on your list? When you were making this list, did you see a horse on TV and go, that would, I should add that. I'm at 39. I don't know what else to put on here.

Yeah, I saw the horse and I said, that would be nice to ride that thing. I didn't feel. That's different than what I imagined. He's like perving on a horse. That's a good looking animal. That's what I meant. That's what I meant by ride.

Why did you want to ride a horse? I just felt like, honestly, it was one of those things that I felt like if I was a guy who had ridden a horse before, I'd be all right. I felt like it's one of those things that I felt like if I was a guy who had ridden a horse before I'd be alright like I felt like it's one of the things that it's going to solve my problems in my life okay we're going to hear more about this list when we get back

from the break because there's 39 things to get to and we'll get to at least three more and we'll also share our goals as well which I just read the subtle art of not giving a fuck and a big part of that is just never making goals so this refutes everything i just spent a lot of time learning so we'll talk about all that when we get back live from london on the make you lose your mind game

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year it's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities i'm joel oh and i am matt and we're the hosts of how to money's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah. Whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth.

That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry.

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My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses.

But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community, and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery, a story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the My Gulura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. Brian just revealed that he's doing a 40 under 40, 40 things he wants to accomplish before he turns 40. He's 35 now. He could be president.

That's the last accomplishment you can have in your life. That's the last milestone, stone for age. Like, voting's at 21. Retirement. Yeah, rental car. Stone for age. Like, voting's at 21. Retirement. Yeah, rental car. Yes, retirement.

Also, your voice stops maturing at 35. Up until then, your voice matures. Maybe that has to do with the president thing. They're like, we don't want someone like a squeaking up there.

But you can always make your voice more mature. Yes, I'm trying to because I've been having vocal strain recently and I spent a lot of money on fixing it

it's changing the tone of this podcast I know everyone's kind of like more chilled out all three of you sound more chill

I mean I don't know why Chris is giving me I remained brassy for the first few minutes and then I was like I need to take it down a notch

Chris is giving me major ASMR yeah yeah oh really oh yeah you have like a very soothing voice Chris's voice is double soothing today to take it down enough. Chris is giving me major ASMR. Yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. You have like a very soothing voice. Chris's voice

is double soothing today. It's not. Yeah, it really is. It's double soothing. Double. Oh, yeah. Because normally it's soothing, but today it's...

Now it's double. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Anya's voice is the same. Please tell me. Anya's voice is the same. You're the only one

that's not putting on a soothing tone. You're the same as always. Listen, this is my path. This is my journey. I don't want anyone to adjust. I need everyone to remain calm. I'll go back to the way it was before. But having to do...

I'm not used to talking all day on the road. I thought Michael taught us to be up here. Like, hi. No no it's supposed to be relaxed you're supposed to be open nothing relaxed so this is the this is what is the least amount of nothing in my throat is happening the air is just being pushed out it's like a slide you know the slide doesn't have to do any work for you to fly down that's what he told us to do you go the way to relax mostly to get your best voice to sound good

is to do what I found because he was like, just go like this. Just do this. And I was like, he was like, what does that look like? And I go,

a stroke victim? And he started laughing. I go, what else am I supposed to say? That's exactly what it looks like. Oh, I have a question for you. What?

I'm sorry. I just thought because you talked about your tongue or something. Yeah. I saw a picture of you on your Instagram where you had a bunch of pills from like a pharmacy. In Ibiza. And one of them was magnesium.

Yeah. Why are you taking that? Because old Glazedog was stopped up. I looked about six months pregnant. And I even showed Chris. I had a towel around it because he couldn't see my bare stomach but i go babe look look and i stuck out my stomach and i go we could give an announcement right now and no one would question it no one it would be i could go to a clinic and

go abort this and they'd go it's too late even my laugh is like um wait so yeah magnesium is supposed to no but it's supposed to help you be regular yeah it works if you're ever constipated yeah i want to be special not regular i want my boobs to be special chris does not like potty talk so we're gonna move back on to wait what i was gonna say about my voice so he was was telling me to sing the best to make it... Because the best sound is when you're totally relaxed. And I couldn't do it. I was just like, I can't do this. Because he was going like, do it like this.

Sound like this. And I was going like... And then I realized it's when I'm doing a dumb guy voice. When I'm like, oh, really? And you're like, J-Lo's hot? And so whenever I'm doing a dumb guy voice. Oh, really? You think J-Lo's hot? And so whenever I'm singing and I feel tension, I always go to, like, I'm imitating a dumb guy. And then I start to sound really good.

It's like about to barf, right? Like, about to barf. Ooh. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. It's hot. So that's how I'm going to sound like Adele someday.

So what were we talking about? 40 under 40. This is crazy coincidence. Two days ago, I took magnesium for the first time ever. I didn't see your Instagram thing. Ali saw it and she told me, Nikki's got magnesium. And I said, what are you talking about?

I have magnesium. Did you take magnesium? I took magnesium because it's supposed to help you sleep. magnesium and i said what are you talking about i have magnesium did you take magnesium i took magnesium because it's supposed to uh help you sleep it's supposed to relax you before bed help you take it at night supposed to help you shit in your sleep yes i was trying to take care of both of those it relaxes all your muscles did it work no it made me jittery it made me jittery and anxious because... Do you do melatonin?

No, I haven't done melatonin. No. Ever? Never. Put that on the list, bitch. Well, that's where you start, Brian. Don't start at magnesium. Melatonin actually works.

And I know there are listeners going, no, it makes you groggy. It doesn't work. It does work. I hate it. Fuck melatonin. I love it does work i hate it fuck melatonin love it stand you melatonin the number one thing chris sorry what was that it's so stupid because i was i was i was finally feeling fine i had been sleeping fine for like the last two days and then i was like i i said i was gonna take the magnesium so let me just take it and then it

messed me up it's like if you're feeling fine, don't take anything. Just let yourself be fine until you feel shitty again. You don't have to fix problems that aren't there. Do it all the time. Right. I do that too. What is that? Because it's not comfortable feeling good.

We're not used to feeling good. Right. You can't believe you feel like you didn't do enough work to feel good so you have to do some more work. It's perfectionism is what it is. Well,ris and i couldn't get to sleep last night we were both doing the thing of like i would think he was asleep and i always play white noise and so i wouldn't hear matthew's band yeah cold play um and i like that noah liked it i like i i was on my side of the bed you know the pillow wall was up i couldn't really see what was happening over on in east berlin and so i'm west berlin okay okay

i don't know what it means um but i was like and then i suddenly it got to be pretty late and i go oh my god i see i saw his little phone glowing in the night. And I was like, oh, he's starting a little fire over there. Like I could see that there was life. And I was like, oh my God, why aren't we asleep? And we were just, because we're both on our phones. And then I go, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to do what I heard in a standup bit because it always,

I love when standup like changes the way you operate and Shang Wang has this bit that I only saw on a clip did you see this Noah uh I'm not sure I don't think so you're nodding your head so I thought but you must know who Shang Wang is he's a great comic but he's uh he's got a special out and he was talking about he was like you ever try to read a book he was like man that shit makes you so tired he's like there's 20 milligrams of melatonin on every page and i was like yes there is never a time that i don't get sleepy when i read a book why am i trying to do anything else when i'm tired at night just grab a fucking book right and i fell asleep and so last night i go i don't know what i'm doing chris i'm i'm reading a book

and i was out in two minutes. Were you really? Yes. I was reading for like three hours. No, you weren't. So it doesn't always work. It doesn't always work. Chris is reading a book right now. Oh, come now. And I loved, because it's on his Kindle, and I just like to look over it

when we're sitting next to each other on a plane. I've actually changed the font to being smaller, so it's harder for you to spot words. Well, he reads Game of Thrones books and Lord of Rings. And I just like to look over because there is never a page that seems normal. It's always like, and then Galadriel flew through the nightfall.

And then the crusaders cloaked themselves. There's always words like cloaked. And sheath. And sheath, yes. Sword. Yes. I mean, do you have your kindle on hand

yeah I've got will you go grab it because I just want to look at one page of your nightfall book no what are you reading what's it called

so people who are interested the trials of Ismael no it's not that that's a classic no I forget what it's called because it's it used to be three

smaller like I forget what they called lord of the's it used to be three smaller like well i forget what they call it lord of the rings three swords and a fire goblin i know what you mean i never know it was like three novellas that they combined to make one one book but do you ever start laughing when you read a word because you could see me making fun of you because i'm trying to get you to start just laughing when you read it because it's so funny no i'm not gonna do i just angle further away from you i just like to make fun of you it doesn't it feels like i'm like looking at like other girls instagram what are you doing there and i'm like nothing one time reading about dunk and egg i couldn't

stop laughing. I was laughing so hard because I looked over and there was like a picture with like a griffin and a woman in the wind that looked like Florence and the Machine. And it was just like, it was the most, it was like, it's just so cute to see your boyfriend read about like these like other worlds where like dragons exist. And it's just so cute. It's like when I call your f1 racing your vroom vrooms i just like to infantilize these things that i don't understand and i'm jealous

that i can't really get into them yeah i want to i'm dying to be swept up into a book take me out of this fucked up realm that's why i keep going back to these books like realm is another word oh yeah you so you're reading the same thing it's been so long since i'm like i can't wait to get back to my book all you have to do is start one all you have to do is just talk to a friend who you trust and say what book is gonna really did that i read colleen hoover's thing i got through 30 or 40 pages and i gave up i'm just like the phone has ruined my attention span. It's way more interesting on my phone than the book.

Yeah, like I'm trying to get through the biography, the autobiography of Mark Twain and I mean, every single time I'm like,

I gotta get back to that realm. Really? I bet. Really? You're excited? There's no dragons in Mark Twain's life.

I do love a non-fictional, I love a memoir. Like I read Prince Harry's thing. That was the last thing I read. Well, there you go. And you were kept swept up in that, right?

That was pretty cool. That was pretty good. It's a long book. If you didn't like it, you wouldn't have gotten through it. Oh, wait. That doesn't count. That was an audio book.

If you don't want to go back to reading the book, if you're not itching to go read it, then just stop reading it. Let it go. People have this weird thing about they got gotta finish anything

they start and i think that discourages reading because it's the same with raising children if you're not into it give it up just give it i think i think nick hornby said that like i think you i think it was nick hornby he was just like if you don't like a book you've got to quit it because reading should be fun and reading should be enjoyable you should be wanting to do it so if you like are dreading it you need to quit that book immediately opposite advice for songwriters i've heard multiple times if you start a song no matter what just finish it really even if it's shitty just finish it and i find that to be good advice like you know you can make it a verse and a chorus and then you're done

but just try to finish it that's something i could put in my uh 40 under 50 is what is write a song i know that's been mine for sure let's get back to your list brian i have a fun game about books that you can play if you're sitting next to somebody reading what i do to ali is i will look ahead to like the end of this of the last page i'll find a word it'll be like uh balloon and then i'll just whisper in her ear balloon and she won't know why but then like two minutes later she'll get to the word and then she'll laugh that's good that is clever wait didn't we do something like that recently yeah i did well i did something like that in college my so i would leave, I would go to, I would go to the library, I'd go to the library and I would leave like notes in books or write on pages or just find a random book in the library

where I went to college at University of Missouri. And I would write messages or something in them and I would know what they were. And usually I would do it specifically to people just to mess with them. I did it to my girlfriend at the time. And I would say, hey, go get this book. Find this book and turn to page 74. And there would be either a note in there. Or I would circle words that created a note. Like something for them.

Positive prank. Yes. Positive prank. There's a child who you made his life. He's probably talking about that all the time. That's so cool. People were just like,

how did you do that? It's like a long game. It's just like, yeah, I just thought about something. That's very creative. A little bit in advance. I'm reading.

I used to have a shed in my backyard that was there before my parents bought the house. And on the inside of the shed, someone wrote a treasure map. And yeah, a treasure map was written down. And we followed the treasure map.

And it led to a rabbit's grave. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it was going to be a dead animal. Why? Is that a Russian thing? I don't know. Yeah. Just do it was going to be a dead animal. Yeah. Why? Is that a Russian thing? I don't know. Yeah.

Just do it. Assume the worst. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Assume the darkest thing. A few years later. And you might have like a frozen owl. Yeah, we have so many dead animals buried around.

Yeah, a frozen owl. I brought my friend over. This is like elementary school or before middle school or something. And I said, there was a treasure map. I found a treasure map. And I went to the rabbit's grave area and changed the treasure was a treasure map i found a treasure map and i had i had i went to the rabbit's grave area and changed the treasure map a little bit so we were not at the rabbit's grave and i buried um a little chest that had a chicken mcnuggets box in it and a single penny in the

chicken mcnuggets box and we spent four hours following the treasure map uh and we we found the spot and we're like we gotta dig and we just and we dug and then he's like oh my god there's something here and the whole time i'm pretending like this is the first time i've ever seen any do you like giving gifts brian are you like really into gift giving um yeah i like giving gifts i don't like receiving because you knew the whole time what the surprise was but you were getting off on the idea not off but you were like excited the fact that this guy was going to find something that you already knew existed so you weren't being excited about finding a thing and being like what is it well it was like a positive prank i thought it was gonna be funny

that he's like it's gonna be treasure and there's a treasure chest and he opens it and it's a chicken mcnuggets box with a penny in it we spent four hours like oh my god um the books i'm reading right now that I will never finish is The Art of Impossible. A Peak Performance Primer by Stephen Kotler. It actually is very good and it just teaches you how to do things that are impossible. Like really impossible that NASA even says you're not going to be able to build a space shuttle that you can reuse twice to go to the moon. And then this guy fucking did it and it shows you just a map of how you want to do anything kind of physical feats or you know any kind of

thing you want to do then um the power of your subconscious mind that is blowing my mind that is a really good one it's so hard for me though because you have to constantly pretty much the whole premise is that your subconscious mind is kind of stupid and doesn't know irony. It doesn't know joking. It doesn't it doesn't ever. It takes everything you tell it seriously. So it's constantly listening to your conscious mind. So whatever you're saying to yourself about yourself, about the world, your subconscious mind is going like, that's the way it is. And we're going to proceed that way. So if you're like, I'm an idiot,

I'm an idiot. Your subconscious mind is always going to direct you in the way that you're an idiot. So if you lie to it constantly, it doesn't know you're lying. If you're like, I am, you know,

I've been recently just saying to myself, you're the best singer in the whole world. Like, cause like I'm, I'm God's gift to music. I've been literally saying the most delusional things to it recently just so that i can trick it into then making that happen and it's almost he's talked about how they've studied people that have had their optic nerves completely severed and the people have

believed enough that they have sight that doctors are confounded that they're able to see when their optic nerve does not even attach to their eye but they're able to see again because their subconscious mind is really in charge of everything but i like the idea that it's like a dumb idiot and it takes everything you say completely seriously so you can never it's really hard for me someone who talks negatively negatively to themselves almost all the time to then stop it and go like oh no my it's almost like being around a child and like cussing around a kid and being like i can fuck up that kid's whole life if i say the wrong thing and it's gonna set it off on this weird course so um it's it really is interesting though brian have you read about this kind of

stuff oh i know all about it i mean yeah it's like it's like drax from guardians of the galaxy for anybody who knows what i'm talking about what i am grew what is it yeah he doesn't understand sarcasm so if you go that went over my head and you'd be like nothing would go over my head i would catch it like that type of yes but do you know about that being like your subconscious mind is really stupid it's smart in that it like it you know what they compared it to which i like this analogy if there's a ship captain captain and then there's someone within the hall of the ship that can't see anything outside of what's happening what are you about to say chris captain and captain works captain that's what i was thinking because you said captain and that is it captain crunch on ships is that who you're talking about that's just my colloquial boat talk

coming through so the captain's upstairs on the deck honestly captain and then your subconscious mind is in the hull of the ship

and that's the one that's doing the oars that's the one that's putting the coal into the fucking thing so it has a lot of power and it can't see out the window it has no idea

so if the captain is telling it like you know go this way there's no way for it to go like are we really supposed to go that way there's not an iceberg coming it just will do it so you have to think of your subconscious mind is always taking direction from your your conscious mind and you got to make sure your conscious mind is being a really good boat captain otherwise you're gonna fucking titanic yeah and everyone can say they hate positive affirmations and it's lame but if you think about it you're giving yourself negative you might be giving yourself negative affirmations

all day long so you kind of have to balance it out a little bit it takes three to one so for every that's pretty much the studies have shown that three positive for every one negative. So if you say, Oh God, I'm so fat. You got a course correct and say three positive things to make your brain undo that thing. Fat with a pH, fat with a pH, fat with a pH. So that's an important distinction is, um, you you're, you're not only does it not understand sarcasm, but your subconscious mind doesn't understand negatives either. So if you say, I am not fat, your subconscious mind is just hearing, I am fat. It doesn't understand the not part. So you have to say, I am skinny. I am healthy. It puts the thought fat in your head. I've heard that too. So rather than saying, I'm not fat,

you say, or like, this is one that i do a lot like when i was in physical pain i'd be like okay i don't i have any pain and then i heard no you have to say like i feel incredible i am mobile yes i am at a hundred percent even i am at a hundred percent might be slightly putting the idea in your subconscious mind that there's a depth there's a possibility of a deficit so you just say like i'm thriving sometimes though i cannot help it like i'm someone who believes in this stuff and even reading the books i'm like this is the way i'm gonna lead my life i'm gonna change my life on a fucking dime right now i'm never gonna talk negatively to myself again it doesn't behoove me it feels so good to bully myself i'm not kidding you i almost started an account just to write on my

own post the things that i know other people are already thinking so that i can beat them to it and they don't get to have to control the narrative i get to control it so like then you're in a hell of your own making yeah But at least I get to, there's some, it was the weirdest, I didn't do it and I would never do it, but I really thought like, I can bully myself better than these people

and I want to be the one to do it, to show them how it's done. So what's the three to one to that? That's a lot of effort. I don't know. How do you balance that out? You have to create like a positive account to be like you know what i need to do i needed to squeeze out three tears and then i was fine

like crying just like fixes everything for me and i don't know why i can't do it more often i just every time i'm feeling that way i think i just need to go i need to step away and watch a sad movie or video or something and just cry because after i cry i don't even have that feeling of like oh i feel stupid now like i just feel like better and it just it fixes it literally fixes everything i can't believe i'm so late to the game and figuring out this cry thing it's pretty good i think what you have there though is a screenplay i think that's a movie you have a social media influencer who is sick and tired of trolls

so she goes and creates a fake account that trolls her and then the fake account becomes also very famous and then she has to pretend to be

both these people. Ah, I like this. Maybe she winds up you know having a suicide attempt or something like that. This is a movie and she has to come clean.

This is how it's going to go. I could have told you that. And then like the guy of her dreams falls in love with the bully yeah oh my god and then she has to become the bully in a scene yeah okay this is good you guys we're onto something we should take this don't tell anybody don't tell anybody steals it let's do a long beep so we're in london well i feel like there was another story besides the uh the the person who had like your future life and who hated it we had another story that we really liked oh about the lounge singing woman oh yeah i wrote it down hold on let me see because i had does it take place in berlin or did it take place in vienna oh no this one takes one takes place in JFK. No, not JFK, Newark.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is awesome. So we flew from St. Louis to Newark and then from Newark to Berlin. And Chris and I had like a six-hour layover, which is kind of nice because Newark actually is in good shape. I used to think Newark was the worst airport by far, but we were in a good section. And we sat down at a restaurant.

Chris made a joke that I didn't even understand was a joke at the time but looking back it was funny because i was like do you want to sit inside and he goes no let's sit outside and it's like not outside it's just like in the terminal so we sit outside and we get some i get some shishito shishito peppers you get us some little fried dumplings and uh we're having a nice little chat and then i look behind chris and i see a duty-free shop and one of the posters on for the fragrance is this model and i go look look behind you it's willa and uh he turns around and it looks exactly like willa from succession um her name is justine i forget her lupe lupe yeah oh easy that was a little too fast why don't you try to look it up like camille costick again

well i'm rooting for her more than most other people on the show like i want her to have a happy ending i think she she it her turn her whole turn in the in the show has been very interesting but anyway she plays willow she plays connor roy's wife but who started out as his prostitute yeah girlfriend like everyone knew everyone always talked about like she's just being paid to hang out with him and then they end up getting married and now she's kind of like the most supportive wife out of the whole thing like they have the best relationship with anyone which is fairly ironic given how they met and how she was kind of when he first was like you know do you do you think you could be happy with me or are you happy with me and she was like yeah like she's just like kind of not bad into it and and she goes i'm not gonna leave now she said that to him and

he was like okay good and he's all just like heartened by that so anyway they get married and um but i go doesn't it look like willa and he turns around he's like oh yeah i forget what you said you kind of were like yeah kind of and he's like not as good not as good as justin lupe and i go easy and then five minutes pass what you're just you know if a guy thinks an actress is hot if they know their full name yes yes totally um and so like the other night we were watching oh what were we watching and oh we were uh some sporting thing and i go oh look who's like on a cool sports it was like some she was like on some like porsche or like cool like f1 brand and it was um what is

her name i don't even know her no no no no brev dobraina dobraina dobra no idea i have no idea right of course no clue right i didn't know her name either but chris goes oh yeah she's good she's something and he just says she's special like i and i never get jealous of him ogling women and not ogling just but like noticing a woman's beauty it doesn't bother me but then he goes oh she's the one with the red dress and i go what and then now i'm starting to go what's going on here and i go i bet he i bet he knows and enough, you Google Nina Dobrev, red dress. No, no, you, like as in the user. Generally, yeah.

Generally, if you Google it, because I Googled it and looked it up, and it is quite impressive. There are some boobs going, there's different angles of boobs. There's side boob, there's under boob, there's top boob. It's all of the sides of the boob in one dress. It's fantastic. But anyway, so he was a fan. And're also fans of this um willa character so five minutes after i point out this this girl looks like her i see i'm talking about some bullshit and chris is listening kind of and

and then all of a sudden he's i see his face go like oh my god oh my god oh my god he goes will will will and i think he's saying will and i go who's will and then passing us and he goes it's willa willa and i go what what and it's so she was walking behind me right towards him then she passes me and then i see the back of her head and i was like oh my god we we love you like i tried to get her attention you're the best she didn't turn around but then she kind of did further down because i think you said that you she saw you make the recognition yeah i think she saw in my face i think those people that like are newly famous they can kind of they can kind of see somebody yes doing the math in their head and i think she saw me doing the math and you know she made herself kind of available

to it i wouldn't say that necessarily i just i just think she was like i think that guy's doing the math right and i don't know i don't know if he's gotten there yet so she this was so i i'm like freaking out but i know where she's going because she's going to a dead end we just came from there that's where our flight got out and it's dead and there's no food and they don't seem to be in a rush her and her boyfriend so i was like oh their gate is down there they're gonna look at their gate and they're gonna circle back around because they seem to have time they're gonna go back and try to find something to eat we're gonna see him again so i was like because i'm gonna say something i'm not letting i i have a succession bingo card and i want to meet everyone from that show i loved your

enthusiasm for the situation because I thought it was like, oh, that was fun to see them. But then you believe they were coming back and you were like, oh, this is going to be a thing that I'm doing. Yeah, because Chris and I continued our conversation. I said, I don't want you to think I'm rude, but I'm on Willow Watch right now.

I'm going to be looking behind you, but I'm there, you know? So then all of a sudden, Willow comes back around. I felt like I was at like an la party where you were just like looking over my shoulder to see if there's somebody more interesting to talk to that's so true so i was i was looking over shoulder but i told him like don't think i'm rude like i am looking for someone better and then glenn from maverick top gun no i'm not into him constantly searching not i don't care for that

anymore so then i see her and she's walking towards me and i am desperate to make i started fixing my hair and like doing this under my eyes to like smooth out my bags just any like just and i go do i look weird do i have anything in my teeth because i was eating seaweed salad and like these peppers and so i'm like is there anything and then i'm like hi i go oh and i got i waved and i got her attention and she walks you know right by her table so she stops and i go i love you so much you are so great you are so talented like what did i say no you just you were gushing career yeah you were gushing yeah and you were very positive about her future and she was like she was really sweet about the whole thing and her guy was you know i reminded me of me just like because when people come up to you

all the time and they're talking to you and i'm just sort of like sitting in the background like smiling and not yeah he was great proud of her he was he was beaming because i was like and i wanted to give her a compliment that was beyond like because i know what it's probably like to get a role like that you've been working your whole life and you have so many other things you've done and now this is the only thing you ever get recognized for and there it just ended too and maybe you don't have anything coming up but i was like but she's so good on that show and i've studied her acting so much on it because she's so funny and so subtle that i was just like i need to give her a good compliment so i said we'll be watching you forever. You're not,

I was like, I'm, you're, you're so fantastic. You're such a good actress and you're just amazing. And she was just like, thank you. And she just looked stunning,

you know, but like normal, not as tall as you think Willa would be. For everyone who watches Succession, you probably think she's very, very tall. Yeah, I was going to guess like 5'11".

She may have been actually because models, she's like model beautiful. So she just looked like gorgeous. And then I went to the bathroom afterwards and I was going to guess like 5'11". She may have been actually because models, she's like model beautiful. So she just looked like gorgeous. And then I went to the bathroom afterwards and I was like, I got to get my shit together. Like she didn't have any makeup on yet. She still looks stunning. I mean, we both had the same level of care put in,

but I looked like a ragamuffin. So anyway, I was so excited. And Chris, oh yeah, I'm beautiful. I'm strong. I'm lucky and things work out for me and so then and i'm gonna be watching myself the rest of my life and so then i was like yeah yeah yeah and chris took a picture and she's very small in the background because by then she had gotten far away and then i posted it and i tagged her in it and then she wrote me back and

she said this is the most flattering and all these heart emojis and she said i i've loved hearing you on podcast talking about your life with such honesty. Of course, your comedy is so great, but hearing you be so transparent is really inspiring and quite rare. And then I wrote back a gigantic paragraph.

She saw it, didn't write back. But we're off to a good start. I said, thank you so much for saying this. It makes me feel so good. I am such a fan and will be for life.

I legit rewind and rewatch and study the subtle comedic choices you make on the show you're such a standout i'm not telling you anything that everyone isn't already saying but you're truly next level so nice to meet you xo oh that's so nice that's like a period they're very thoughtful with their compliments those are great well done because i get compliments all the time and they break my fucking heart and that's why i don't like hanging out just like you know i love you on your roasts and they've just watched me do stand-up then they but this is how they say it they go you know what i really love is your roasts you know that like that's what they say or they'll they'll just it'll compliments more than not when you are an insecure person and which most performers are just take

something from you sometimes but um so yeah i'm i try to give what i would want without being sincere i think it's i think it's easy it's easy for people to use something negative to then make it seem like whatever they're like they set it up with like, I'm not usually into female comics, but you're funny. So they think it's like catapulting their compliment into the stratosphere. Yes. When really like I won over this guy. He doesn't like female comics. I must be pretty good.

I don't think he's an idiot at all from his first statement. But people think like, oh, this is a, you know, like I usually don't watch stuff like this, but I'm really into your stuff. all right well cool your compliment didn't need to like or like describe yourself yes i don't care i think giving compliments is an art form like

not everyone knows how to do you have to learn how to do it. Yeah, I read a book. Really well said. No, you didn't. He's writing a book on it. I also think it would be funny if it turns out that that wasn't Willa and you were just like, I'm going to be watching you. I love you. Oh my God. And her boyfriend's like, uh-huh.

That made me feel really good. You read a book about how to give compliments? How to talk to anyone. 91 Little Secrets for Big Success. You love these numbers. good uh wait you read a book about how to give compliments how to talk to anyone 91 little secrets for big success you love these numbers okay so what what was the thing you learned from it have you guys no i like this book wait well we have to take a break let's learn from brian about how to best give compliments and talk to people when we get back in to casual dance uh we'll learn all of it when we get back.

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Listen to Crems as part of the My Gulura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, Brian. 91 ways to talk to people. What was the title of the book again? How to Talk to Anyone. 91 Little Secrets for Big Success.

It's a great book. No, you don't, Anya. You are so personable. You are so talky-talky. You can also do this. She also has another book called How to Fall in Love with Anyone. Or How Anyone Can Fall in Love with...

I forgot what the title is, but it's How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. Is it kind of Dale Carnegie? Yes. Tell us some tips. Give us a couple. Some of the more fascinating things you learned. My favorite tip about complimenting is that you should... It's how to accept a compliment

people some often people will be rude and not accept compliments if someone says hey that's a nice shirt of common response would be oh this old thing this is you know this is a piece of shit i hate this and then it makes the complimenter feel stupid yeah it's like saying you're stupid that you thought this was a nice shirt. So what do you do? How do you accept a compliment in a good way? Thank you. You say that's so nice of you.

How thoughtful of you to think of me like that. To think how interesting of you to make that observation. Yeah, that's pretty close. So that's actually pretty close. So if you just say thank you, that's like close so what they that's actually pretty close so if you just say thank you that's like fine but that's like a c at you know like a grade oh yeah um because that's like okay i have acknowledged that you know i didn't shoot you down but we're supposed to do so nice of you to say that that's thank you that feels nice okay uh c c plus um but i was hating this shirt earlier but you made me feel so incredible here

take it oh my god did you see that the clip when uh donald trump was on conan from like the before he was a political guy and he he had this Trump tie on. He was wearing one of his own ties. And Conan, you know, was just being nice. And he said, oh, I like your tie. That's a nice tie. And then Trump said, oh, you like this tie? I'll give it to you.

And he took off his tie and gave it to Conan. And Conan, did you ever see that? No, but do you feel like he read a book? Was that the answer? The whole interaction made me feel weird. I've had that happen to me before, where have been like do you want it and i'm like yes whitney i'd love that shirt with horses on it my dad does that a lot yeah your dad does that yeah every time i'm like oh cool you know he gets like a new patagonia i got cool patagonia he's like you can have it yeah i'm like no thanks that is so sweet every single time

my mom does that too if you compliment anything so we like start like we'll do this we'll compliment him on things we'll be like I love that stack of cash get off

get off of dad yeah pretty soon he's naked what is the tip Ryan what do you say you need to compliment the complimenter

for complimenting you oh my god we're also self-centered we didn't think of that you gotta think complimenting you. So if somebody says... We didn't think of that. You got to think of the other person. So if somebody says, that's a nice shirt, then you should say, oh, that's so interesting that you say that. You know, actually, my aunt got me this shirt for my birthday and it's one of my favorite shirts.

So you're very smart. Let me just say the difference between what anya's response is is that we should think of that we only think of ourselves this is a book written about people who think about trying to get things from people this is a book about how to manipulate people to like you more so it's not really thinking about someone else this is what you would do to get that person to like you more isn't this what the coach on um love on therum was teaching them when she was like rolling the ball back and forth? Yes! Michael.

Yes, Michael, that's a great question. It's because she also likes horses. Yes, Michael. Well, that sounds... That's an amazing Australian accent. If that was Australian, she's very good. That is so difficult. That's one of Australian accent. If that was Australian, she's very good. That is so difficult.

That's one of the most difficult accents to do. Well, here's a trick. If you want to say the word no. It's so thoughtful of you to make that observation about Nikki, Brian. Thanks, Chris. My aunt once made an observation. You make them feel smart for having observed that. But these are manipulative techniques.

These aren't just like, this is what you should do to be a good person. It's like, this is how you get them. And then you compliment them? What if they have a shitty shirt? But then when does it end? Because then they'll say, that was great of you to say that. Thank you for the thank you card.

Here's a thank you card for you. Never end. No, you don't return the compliment with a compliment. You compliment the complimenter for complimenting you. So if you say, if they say, hey, that's a nice shirt. And then you go, oh, you have a nice shirt too. That's just as bad as saying. That's bullshit.

I hate that. Yeah. Don't do that. I think it's like, I thank you. I love this shirt. It's so nice of you to say that. That's pretty good. That's like an A minus because you are telling the person that they are smart for pointing that

out because they notice something that other people don't notice is one of my biggest pet peeves in when returning compliments someone will say nikki you are so funny that was so good you're one of the best comics i'll go that's so nice and they go no i'm not being nice don't no don't i'm not being and then i have to start fighting with them of like well it's still nice that you said it and it can still be they go it's just true and i go well thank you and they go you don't need to thank me i'm just and i'm like i can't fucking win here like do you know what have people done that to you yeah where they go i'm not being nice it's not nice it's just true and you're like okay i get it you're the expert i'm and i'm not saying that you're being

nice to me does not mean a lie it just means that makes me feel good and then i eventually get to that and then they kind of move on but um that where they have to kind of be like no i'm smarter than all these people here i'm telling you the truth like i get it i'm really a lot of girls will say to me i'm like i'm pretty intellectual and like you're smart like i want to let you know like i hang out with doctors mostly and you are like on the level and i'll go like i read i would have appreciated this well it's like a little mini brag or like telling you know people like trying to tell you their personality and it's like i don't care i did that a little bit with justine like i knew that she probably respects me

comedically so i needed to let her know your comedic choices are like i knew that she is she's aware of me so there is probably like a pedestal of like this girl knows comedy and i had to give her one because she is good at comedy in a way that maybe it would mean more to her than someone else. So I kind of did the same thing. I very badly, because you couldn't do it, wanted to be like, when you guys had that little exchange, I very badly wanted to be like, you don't know this, but this is Nikki. She's one of the best comics. Or she's one of the biggest Succession fans.

Yeah. Ever. But yeah, thank yeah thank you babe for almost saying that that's really nice of you yeah thank you it's really smart of you to think of that thank you thank you for being that nice okay what are some other tricks of the trade brian to like be a good conversationalist and to get people to like you and fall in love with you okay so if you are this is like this is an easy one everybody knows this one but sometimes people don't do it if you are at a party and you are introducing uh somebody to somebody else you should say something that is

interesting about them that you think the other person will have in common with them. You don't just dump people off and say, oh, Jen, this is Alice. Jen is my coworker. And then leave them. You got to think, what do these two people maybe have in common? Oh, Jen, this is Alice. Do you know you guys both went to school in Ohio? Boom. Now they can talk for as long as you want.

You can leave. Right. I'm good at that over email intros i give a great email intro but i have a hard time in person a lot of times i just print it up beforehand and read it off when you go to a party it sounds so common sense it sounds like everyone must do that but then you go to a party and it doesn't happen and then you're just sitting my favorite trick and i've talked about this so many times, but it's just the funniest trick to me is that if you ask someone,

this is totally manipulative. If you ask someone for a favor that you can do, like if I was like, Anya, will you turn up my volume? And I easily could do it and you do it. You in your head have to think, I didn't just do that because I'm a little bitch. I must do it because I really like Nikki. And so it makes you like me more because your subconscious doesn't want to feel

like a little bitch that this girl just bosses around so you convince yourself i did it because i love nikki and i like her and i do think so isn't that have you ever read that one brian i'm not really following what you're saying i've seen it's basically you ask for small favors and you think it's going to count against you like oh man Nikki's always asking me to do these favors but it does the opposite instead of you not liking you liking Nikki less because she's always bugging

you with stuff it makes you think you like her more yes because you have to convince yourself it's too hard to think I'm doing this because she asked i'm a little bitch boy or whatever i know you really lean into but that's the only way i can think of it like i'm like a pussy that gets bossed around by this lady because i've it's i've had it happen to me before where i'm like why am i doing this and you do this cognitive shift where

you go oh i don't do this because i get i'm a pushover and a little bitch. I do it but then I do it because I like her and then therefore you then do like them more. It's a Dale Carnegie trick and it's also in this book called The Psychology of Influence that is very fascinating. I've never used that because

I just don't want someone to like me because I've done a mental manipulation on them. I want someone to like me because I've done a mental manipulation on them. I want them to like me for pure reasons. That's also why in stand-up, I talk over claps. Because I know that the audience, if they laugh and they keep laughing, they'll eventually go to a clap if you just take a sip of water. But I don't want them to do that because I know that it's a trick.

And at the end, they will like to do that because I know that it's a trick and they will be, at the end, they will like me more not because I was funny, but because I tricked them into clapping to fill the silence to get through my water sip. And it's a thing

that every comedian does. And I'm not saying I'm better because I don't do it, but I think I might be because I want to be judged on the merit of my comedy, which I don't think is up to snuff with a lot of comedians there are some comedians who only get claps

yes they don't get any laughs it's just like we call it claptor yeah it's because we're watching some stand-up plowing through specials it's wild that claps somehow are substitutes for laughs and you're're like, nobody was laughing there. And I don't, as a viewer, want to hear people clapping at home. It bores me. I'm like, I'm not there. Let's speed this up.

I don't like it. If it's a laugh and a clap, great. Laughs and a claps, great. Yeah. Yeah, once in a while, I think three per special. It's a little, yeah, it's kind of like,

is this a TED Talk? Are you empowering us? Which is fine too. Like I'm okay with with being empowered but if you're using it if you're just taking too many pauses i'm just suspicious and i think you're a little bit of a magician which is part of comedy and that's fine and i've talked about it so much on here but yeah chris and i are plowing through specials we watched seinfeld's 23 hours to kill it's so good i loved it so funny but i can't i have to say that bill burr's red rocks is the special to beat right now i think it is it is so fucking good it took me so long to watch it because i just i don't want to compare

myself to him it makes me depressed about like how good you can be and like he's just if it's just he's the best there's no better than melanie straight straight to the funniest stuff i mean same same sort of thing i mean i would say melanie is right there with him but to me it's um melanie and i will only say this because i do this too melanie is more performative Bill is like in the moment, like pissed off about these things. Like there's no, and I'm sure there's, obviously he's having to amp some of this up.

He can't be this mad about this thing he wrote about, but it does seem of his mind in that moment. And you know, the way he plays with the mic stand, the way he plays with his water, like there's nothing. There's no kind of movement that seems calculated. It seems like and Louie used to do this, too, and say that every time he tells a joke, he tells it a different way because he wants it to be like in the moment.

He wants to find new things about it. I don't like when comedians are I don't like act outs very much unless they're really good. Taylor Tomlinson had a great act out where she was like climbing off a guy the other day. when comedians are i don't like act outs very much unless they're really good taylor thompson had a great act out where she was like climbing off a guy the other day and i studied it being like it's so perfectly mimed out of being on top of a guy and him saying something gross and you kind of just go like it was so good and it made me go like i need to do more act outs but i don't like act outs where like you you just are preparing to get to something that is like not that good i don't know you've got some you've got some act out in your act right now that i'm into yeah like

which one oh yeah yeah it's like where you're just well it's it's more of like a physical thing yes similar oh yeah i'm gonna spoil it right now but i don't gonna be in the splash right but i guess i'm i'm saying i don't want to act out ire or confusion or i want to be in the moment bilber to me which i don't know how he does it i think it's because he he writes from such an authentic place and dude this special is so good and i've been talking about this because bilber i was always kind of reluctant to watch his stuff because he's so good and it's so undeniable but there was a lot of like women suck and it made me like feel bad about being a woman and because he would like convince me that i kind of women suck and i'd be like kind of sad about myself afterwards

final thought but bill burr i saw him on conan back during covid and he talked about it was one of the episodes where conan was doing it at largo and there's no audience. It was a little bit more intimate. And he was talking about doing mushrooms and having this epiphany that all of his anger on stage and off was coming from a place of feeling alone and unwanted and unloved as a child. And I'm paraphrasing, so I'm not exactly saying what he said, but he said this on Conan. And it was interesting because on conan usually he is just like rapid fire the funniest person that's ever existed always saying things like they're off the top of his head but they're somehow just beautifully written but they're also seemingly so just pure and and he's just the best i think and and i've always watched him on conan and just been in complete awe but this conan was so special because he was just like yeah I did mushrooms and um realize I'm fucking angry because

my childhood and I uh my dad didn't fucking love me and I you know I had shitty parents and it was it kind of just sat there and there was there wasn't a punchline coming and he was like what did he say he goes you know what uh there's a thing called like empathy that I've lacked I don't know I'm just like getting into empathy now and there was no joke there it was just and conan was like yeah and he goes yeah and it was just there and he's like i have a lot to process it's gonna take me a long time i realized to like emotionally make sure it's giving me goosebumps right now i was like oh my god i'm so excited for whatever's gonna come after this and then he put out red rocks and i remember seeing some like women's stuff on there where i'm like oh maybe he's back to his old ways or whatever I didn't give it a chance and then I saw one clip

that I really loved and I've talked about it before it's the Lizzo clip where he's like women love Lizzo because they're not threatened by her among other reasons they love her but like everyone's like yeah girl because they're like you're not gonna steal my like whatever it is there was some truth to that that I found really refreshing. And so, but then we watched it the other night and he talks about doing mushroom. He went into it. Now he has jokes around the whole mushroom trip and how he felt this loneliness and he couldn't get out of it. And it kept going lower and lower and lower.

And he describes it and how, and then he tells a story about running into a lesbian in the street and she like kind of like gives him like a really hard shoulder and he's so fucking pissed about it like why the fuck would she do that like what a bitch and like and like anyone would about someone who like just bumps into them really hard with warning like he's you know walking towards her on the sidewalk and he's trying to get out of her way and she switches to the side he's on. And then she switches when he tries to get to the other side and then she fucking just like shoves him. And then by the end of it, he's like found this commonality and this empathy for her. And just, it's just the coolest thing. And he, and he's just also seems like such a good dad, but he's sharing these moments where he thinks he's

going to fuck up his kid. But there, there, there are moments where he's like these moments where he thinks he's gonna fuck up his kid but they're they're they're moments where he's like a you know quote unquote bad dad or like maybe not the best dad but he also has empathy for himself it's just like really beautiful and he just seems i don't know i'm just i really think that's that's the level to aspire to get to is to be completely authentic not lying about anything you don't there's no bullshit louis used to tell us that his kids were pieces of shit and then he didn't you know he gave his he got a hand up from his wife on the floor what do you know things like that and you go god this is refreshing it's honest and there were truths to that bill does not seem to be holding back any like ugly side of himself that he's not presenting to us and i just found it to be just inspirational yeah he was amazing he's in the pocket he's authentic

ali wong is another thing it's just like yes to see some of these people just being themselves and being so funny i think is one of my favorite things of watching specials back to back to back because you just see these people that are so comfortable with who they are and part of that is like with age and all that stuff but man those two so good Bargatze's so good

oh yeah yes it's something that you know comes with time and that's the nice thing about stand up and also

therapy and doing some work on yourself like I find if you watch older Bill Burr stuff it's not quite I mean it's all good

but it's not quite as deep because of these revelations that he's having. And he can still be mad at women and see the hypocrisies of our movements and still have really good things that make me go, God, we do do that. And that is cringe. And like, man, he does have a good point, which is the opposite of the side I'm on and like makes me, you know, his thing about abortion. I don't know if anyone's seen it, but his analogy is one of the best analogies going. He he says, like, you know, I'm pro choice, but you got to admit it.

You're killing a baby like it is murder. Like, I'm sorry. You know, and he says it's like he goes, you know, but they say it's not a baby yet. You know, whatever they say. And he says it's like if you were to be baking a cake and you get a cake and you put it in the oven and then someone comes out and just takes the cake before it's fully done and just throws it on the floor and you go what did you do to my cake and they're like it wasn't a cake yet you go it went what a bit and it's just like you know it made me think a little bit it was just such a

perfect analogy it's just it's nice to have someone out there that i aspire to be that um is as good as he is because he is i see the work he puts in obviously to writing but i think the real work that he's putting in is just finding out how to be as authentic as possible which seems a lot more easy to me than like sitting down with a laptop at starbucks which to me is not gonna happen ever for me but i might find a new truth to myself like if just keeping it like what else am i there's still things i'm probably not being fully honest about on stage and that's exciting to go well maybe i can get even further into something that is even more that I don't even realize about myself yet. Oh, your act has evolved so much.

I mean, you've always been lauded as somebody that's like painfully honest, which is such a great thing that we all that's why I think most people love you is that you're just going to say the things that no one is brave enough to say, but like, I think if you compare your older comedy to now, it's like now you're broaching topics that make people really uncomfortable, but you're like, I don't care. I want to talk about this shit. People should talk about this. And I think that's what is exciting. Cause it's,

it's like funny and it can create change within people. Yeah. You know, thanks girl. It's true. I mean, it's, I think earlier it's like joke joke joke

joke and now you're more you're like why is society this way you know yeah that's really nice i appreciate that it was so nice of you to say something that's really smart of you no okay i got it you want to see this okay okay you know what i really appreciate that compliment because you are noticing this thing about myself that i didn't think anyone really saw and you are paying attention to something that first of all no one else has even okay been that astute and wait i'm trying to i'm giving that like bullshit version yeah no one else has ever given me a compliment like that and you are noticing something about me that i really have only noticed about myself and i was thinking maybe someone got it and you get it i feel good now right even though

you know the trick it's isn't it working yeah yeah it's pretty good aren't you more likely to compliment me through i was like this is i think in general people need to give more compliments i i just i know we do me a huge favor and hand me those glasses? No. I'm not going to be your bitch. But I do like you more now for some reason. Okay, what do we have to do in London while we're here the next couple days?

Have you guys been to London? Noah? Brian? Never. I've never been to Europe, sadly. You haven't? Is that on your list? Brian, would you go to Europe with me?

We should do a trip together. What? Yeah, actually, go to Europe is on my list. Yeah, I'll go. Number four in travel. So you eat a strawberry? Well, that's Japan.

Will you just rattle off some of your list? Can we just rapid fire? Take us out, Brian. Go into the sea. There's 40. haven't done that yet wait you live in Los Angeles no I did but it was a long time

since I had gone into the sea so I did it I did it wait like on a boat that sounds like you're about to kill yourself like just walk into

that's some Kendall Roy stuff right there walk into the sea wearing a heavy coat go into the sea okay what else are you your dad's number one boy i love this list um okay spend a continuous month in new york great which i did i did that last year

make a you live there for years? He grew up in Long Island. What's happening? Now that I live in LA, I want to go back to New York and spend a full month there. And I did. Okay. Make a Genoese sponge.

I like this list a lot. Have you done that one yet? No, I can't figure it out. Sorry. Have you tried? You're failing? It's got to be some kind of fucking cake. I don't know. It's something they have to frequently make from scratch on the Great British Bake Off.

So I was like, I should learn how to do this. You know, you have 40 things. You got to make it achievable. Keep going. We need more. I'm sorry. I got to keep going here. Make a trifle. No, there also is make a chocolate souffle which i haven't done yet either that's hard let's go through the ones you haven't done okay uh visit my mom's house in florida i have not done yet okay that's something everybody

should do i know at least everybody if you're listening right now put this on your 40 under 40 list visit brian's mom's house in florida um go to iceland i haven't done that i was supposed to go in 2020 and obviously we couldn't um uh well there was a um a bear attack in iceland okay and they said we gotta totally take care of this bear no one can come in There was a bear attack in Iceland. Okay. And they said, until we take care of this bear, no one can come in. Hey, Brian, you know what we should do is the next time there's a volcano there,

we should just buy a ticket to Iceland immediately and go see the volcano. Well, I have to go with Allie. You've never asked me to go on any spontaneous trips and you've asked Brian to go on trips. I'm dying to get away from you. That's not true. I'm always asking Nikki to go on trips

and she's like, no, I just can't. I can't make any time for it. And it's like oh but in a week we're doing another girl's trip but you never say specifics like i want to go try a strawberry i like a goal i feel like we're just gonna go over there and walk around aimlessly i like a i'll go i'll go eat a strawberry japan with me and brian have stuff for the next three years so wow 2027 it's all me and you okay give me give us a couple more brian okay i want to um read all the memoirs on my bookshelf which is a lot that i haven't done yeah and they're all they're all comedians memoirs and i like to only read memoirs of

people who are over 60 because i don't think that they have enough knowledge and wisdom if they're under 60 you can fly through uh prior convictions and born standing up those take like already read born standing up who's prior conviction as richard prior richard prior and then sam kinnison's brother sam i think is that one takes a little bit right now i'm on this oh cool oh god okay i gotta do that one. The best one I've ever read, the best memoir I've ever read from a comedian so far is Dean and Me

by Jerry Lewis. It is the most succinct. It's focused on his relationship with Dean Martin. It made me so emotional. You only read memoirs and autobiographies. Will you read a biography? No, I'll only read it if it's written by the person. Okay. Sorry. Tell us why the one was so good. Dean and Me, it's not framed. Also, Norm's memoir I read was really good. Obviously, he's not serious in it.

Dean and Me is focused on... It's framed like a love story between Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. It's not like, I was born this year, and then I went to this school, and then this is what my mom was like, and this is what my dad was like. A lot of memoirs will just go through all the facts

of someone's life. Dean and Me focuses on the day Jerry Lewis met Dean Martin and then their relationship, how their careers rose together, and how they had a falling out, like a relationship breaking up. And then Jerry Lewis was still alive

when he wrote the book, obviously, when it came out. He was still alive. I think Dean Martin was dead, though. obviously, when it came out. He was still alive. I think Dean Martin was dead, though. And he wrote about, after many years, them reconnecting on one of the telethons. And the book ended.

It didn't go like, and now that I'm this age, now I'm doing this. It was like, it's about that focus thing. And I think that should be a lesson for anyone who wants to write a memoir. Focus it on a narrative. Focus it on that focus thing. And I think that should be a lesson for anyone who wants to write a memoir. Focus it on a narrative. Focus it on a specific thing. Don't just make it a list of facts going through the timeline of your life.

Nobody really wants to know every single thing, the street you grew up on and stuff. Make it focused on a narrative. That's cool. That's why it was so good. Are there any memoirs that you're into glaze wait are you setting me up for something no oh that was nice of you to just ask that's a really good question and it seems like you're really good at your job of being on radio and i just

want to say thank you for thanking me for that because like that means a lot to me i will say that i love the johnny carson biography which was an unauthorized biography by his lawyer who was his best friend and it's fucking good dude that guy was a monster complicated sad but like obviously a legend and written by someone who loved him very much but that is really good and someone with like that mom would never love him enough and was never proud of him there was one scene where he like where he buys his mom a house and he's hosting the Tonight Show. He's the most famous man in the country.

And his mom is just like, I don't like it. She would never say she's proud of him. She will never give him anything. And it's the root of everything that he does. It's so interesting. I like Nora Ephron's i think i hate my neck or i hate my neck oh so good anything related so much like when she wrote it yeah i just remember the one line she said something like i have been to so many rock concerts with

so many incredible bands and incredible musicians and every time all i'm thinking is where are we going to dinner afterwards and what will i order that makes me feel so good because we were at a museum yesterday and that's all i was thinking about the entire time i felt seen i feel so seen i was at this museum going what are people doing what like people at museums love looking at art i just don't buy it i think they just want to be like we went to the museum today like they just go to it so they can say they did it they don't actually like you see a couple things that you go that's cool but 90 of stuff in museums is you're're just like, who gives a shit? You know, like I, I just don't buy that.

It's that, that it's that cool, but thank God for them because artists important. You posted your Instagram stories that were, go look at Nikki's Instagram stories. If they're still up from yesterday. They won't be. Oh no.

I'll screenshot them and put them on ours in tandem with this episode. My favorite one was the boy with the little hole. Yeah, boy. Yeah. Thank you. All right. So go check that out on our Instagram. Check out the podcast on our YouTube channel.

Go subscribe. Thank you so much for doing this podcast, Chris and Anya and Brian and Noah. And we will be back in the States For the next iteration of this podcast Thank you for joining us overseas And thank you to all the besties That have come out to the shows It's been so much fun

And we'll see you in the States Don't be cute And just knock those 40 Before you're 40 out Joel, the holidays are a blast But the the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel.

And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears

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Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we divearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability and authenticity, we share our personal journeys, navigating our 30to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections.

Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my dog. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in.

It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.