The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #346 Wedding Status, Shifting To Positive Thoughts & The Perfect Phone Call

Episode Date: June 1, 2023

Nikki wants to know why Brian will have his wedding in a national park. She also wants him to know about some love he got in her "girl's chat". That raises his spirits after feeling his signs for the WGA protest weren't really hitting. While talking about Ai and Deepfakes taking over, Nikki doesn't mind watching the one Brian Monarch created of her as Taylor Swift. Anya can confirm that Nikki will never take a photo of her poop. They try to evaluate why it is easier to be negative than positive. They each share what their dream phone call would be and encourage Besties to share theirs. In the Final Thought, they give appreciation to Tim Dillon and encourage each other to be more positive.  ——— Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian Frange: brianfrange.com More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Welcome to it. Joining me, as always, Brian Frangie. He's in Los Angeles.

How's it going, Brian? Hello. It's going fine. I'm doing fine, everybody. Great. Thanks for asking. Yeah, your wedding is coming up very soon in a couple weekends. Oh, yes.

Don't remind me. The anxiety levels are... Yes, if you want to get tickets to my wedding, you can go to adamtickets.com slash Brian's wedding. No, anxiety levels are at a high right now. Let's talk about that a little bit because we also have Anya here from New York. She's also getting married. So you're getting married.

Sorry, Anya's getting married July 9th. Yep. And Brian, you're getting married June 6th, 17th? June 17th. 17th. 17th. So this, and then Noah is also engaged in TBD on when she's going to get married. But this is wild that we have this,

I mean, the randomness with which- Yeah. And then me, who's like starting early stages of talking about that kind of stuff with her partner. Well, you're getting married on Augustust 17th 2048 2020 did you not hear about that honestly i can work with that date that is like that's honestly this is wait did he have so much to say did ryan say 2024 no he said 48 2048 and that is honestly a date i can work with. Okay, got it. That gives me no anxiety.

Perfect, yes. We have so many things to talk about. Before we get started though, I just want to say that the response about Brian has been overwhelmingly positive, almost 100% positive. I see no one said anything negative to me. I'm sure people are writing about it extensively,

but I don't read that stuff. You guys know that. But no, it was so it's so heartening to hear especially on my girls chat my best friend kirsten one of my best friends um she's on the girls chat and she's a avid listener to the podcast and she said that she just she did an impression of you yesterday we should play it i i wish i would have um like saved it because there's too much other talk on there that i can't just like randomly play stuff because people are crying about their lives and

stuff on there so um but she did cry about brian's life a little bit and no she just did an impression of you that was so sweet because she's really good at impressions but she said that um she just loves it i just trust her opinion she would say nothing if it was like there was nothing to say but she just said um she thinks you're so funny and she's like such an arbiter of what's funny to me because she's one of the funniest people I've ever met um and she just likes your

like toot and your mood and your um and your dude your dude and she just likes it and she said so many nice things and i know noah was on that same chat did you hear that noah didn't that make you feel good yeah i'm trying to look for it now but okay i would love to hear that impression because it would inform me as to like what i i how i am viewed which is so important we don't want to

it's important as a comedian to know how people view you. Okay. Well, I'll talk exactly at your pace right now. Does this sound like you to you? I mean, we need this on the podcast. I'm fucking motor mouth over here. I'm totally... I have no idea how I sound or how I'm supposed to sound. And I would love to...

Are you doing stand up right now? Yeah, I got a show tonight. I was in Arizona, actually, this past weekend. I thought you meant right now. Yeah, love to are you doing stand up right now yeah I got a show tonight I was in Arizona actually this past weekend I thought you meant right now yeah wait are you doing a bit right now you were in Arizona

this past weekend yeah I was in Tempe, Arizona this past weekend at the Tempe Improv oh sweet that's a good club who were you opening for Adam Conover

oh that's so fun cause if you don't know Brian wrote on Adam Ruins everything which seasons uh two through the final finale and then you also help him on his youtube channel now which is like blowing up yeah youtube channel he's got like 600 000 subs all of his videos get a million views

and he's like a burgeoning star in the uh wga negotiations He's really becoming... He's amazing. Yes. He also had the show The G Word. How did you get that... Oh yeah, that's right. And you've got a really great story about that that we should get into at some point. Let me just ask you because I don't know if I know the story. How did you... You did tell us. You got

a blind submission for the Adam Conover? Yeah, we did uh stand up together open mics and stuff in new york city back in the uh early whatever's the 2010 ish area i know we need a name for that yeah what the fuck can we please i'm sick and tired of saying the early aughts let's coin one whenever someone says the early aughts. Makes sense. I understand it. Well, that's like 2001 to 2008. Yes. But then what are we calling 2009 to 2020? It sucks because if it was the 1900s,

you could just say that was the 20s. That was the 30s. That was the 40s. When we're in the 2000s, we've got nothing. Because. 2010. Nobody does.

The early 2010s. Like, what does that mean? Why don't we just say 10s? Because Nobody does. The early 2010s? Like what does that Why don't we just say in the early 10s? Because no one's talking about the 20th century anymore. I'm talking about 1910 all the time.

Cholera. Automobiles. Scurvy. Flappers. We know nothing. Okay. I found it. I'm totally out of the loop

of this conversation but I found It doesn't matter. We need to be taken out of the loop of this conversation but i found it doesn't matter we need to be taken out of it okay so um let's get us let's get us out of the 2010s nikki is on fire right now i've had a perfect amount of latte okay which is one and a half okay so here's venti lattes here's kirsten's impersonation of Brian, wondering about his wedding. I'm real curious where Brian Frangie is getting married. Like, where is the National Park?

I find him hilarious, and I'm so glad that he is a part of the show. I've been meaning to say that because I think it, and he makes me laugh, and he, like, waits for the right time to talk. And, yeah yeah between him and Anya being on it it's like just the best it's ever been so thank you thank you five dollars so she's washing white asparagus yeah she's always like meal prepping she's doing something of a woman of which I was um okay Brian how did that make you feel that's so nice and you know what I don't I've never met Kirsten I don't think but I do feel like I know her somewhat from watching the show on E. Yes she's incredible I have a face to a name and a personality to a face and a name and I I really appreciate that and I'm going to compliment the complimenter for

complimenting me. That makes me feel really good because I have a lot of self-pout sometimes about doing stuff like this and putting myself out there and pretty much everything in general and hearing compliments like that make me feel, give me the confidence to continue and it's just so important to me that someone would say something like that. So thank you so much. Aw, that's so nice. I just watched a reel the other day or some TikTok.

It was on Reddit because that's where I get my TikToks. But it was a girl saying, I never, ever, she was kind of annoying, which I should probably not say that based on what she said. But she says, you'll see the irony of why I shouldn't have said that. But she goes, never keep a nice thing to yourself.

Only keep bad things to yourself. Never keep a nice thing to yourself unless it's like nice boobs, nice ass. She never, she like gave an example. She was like, I was walking by a girl on the street and I saw her journaling. And I said, you know what? I am so glad I saw this day because it is a nice reminder that I need to get back into journaling. And then the girl goes, I actually haven't journaled for so long that feels so good to hear

this is going to make me journal more so she was like by saying that I not only reinforced what she was doing that she was doubtful of and she's going to journal more but I'm going to journal more and I felt good it was just like oh that's we need to be I always called them drive-by compliments I started doing them at Lollapalooza in like 2009. When I started going to Lollapalooza, I would like walk around. Yeah, the early tens. I would walk around because there's so many crowds

and you're just walking through rivers of people upstream. I would just go like, nice bag, great legs, cool hair, nice hat. And I would just do drive-bys. So it doesn't have to engage in a conversation, but someone's just getting a little slit of of a compliment especially when you're going to something where people are being dressed to be seen like a Coachella or Swiftchella which is Taylor Swift concerts I was walking in those masses of people and I'm like I know that I'm

dying for someone to compliment my outfit that i've put thought into because everyone puts thought into their outfit at taylor swift concerts um that why am i not complimenting every single person whose outfit i liked and so i started and it felt so good to do um but i do want to ask you the to follow up kirsten's question what national park because i kind of chris has handled all of our travel so i don't know exactly where it is and why did you choose that national park and what are we going to be doing um i will answer that question however i have a comment about what you just said um about the drive-by compliment so like again you your your choices of when to talk like kirsten said are just genius no they are good when you're done talking yeah

I have waited till she has finished talking and now I am talking um when you're doing striking and you have the WGA signs you can write whatever you want on the signs and a lot of people are like taking these signs personally and it is kind of like well i'm a writer i'm writing on this sign if this isn't a good fucking sign then like and you're surrounded by other people who could potentially hire you gotta compliment people's signs you should say the ai signs those are fucking awesome traffic cones are like the kardashians complimenting other people's signs is a genius idea. And also, you have to make sure you're signed. What are some good ones?

What is yours? I wrote a bad one. Okay, share that one. I feel very... It's so bad because I thought it was good and then I'd be like, people would be like, what's your sign? That's art, man. Yeah, and then it's like, oh, it was this.

And then I would get silence. I was walking with these two people who were more successful than me. And I was like, I wrote this sign, but I haven't seen it around lately. Because you leave the signs there when you leave. And they're like, oh, what did it say? Oh, and then people can pick up your sign and reuse it if they like it? You can pick up any one sign. You just keep rotating signs.

And they said, what did your sign say and i was like it said um two wrongs don't make a writer and then just like now silence i like it it takes a minute to compute but it seems it makes sense compute is the right word i think ai that this is an argument for AI. We need. No. It's bad. I realize now. It's funny that it's bad. Yeah. Wait, I think it's great. Honestly, Brian, you weren't. It's not.

It's not? You were not trying to be prolific. You weren't trying. That's the wrong word. I'm a bad writer. But you weren't trying to write something that was going to make people think. You were being ironic, kind kind of in doing a pun. Obviously, because you're a writer.

Puns are the lowest common denominator. So you were being funny. I see what you're doing. It is funny in that respect. Because you were trying to be a little... If I'm going to be honest, I wasn't trying to be ironic. I literally thought it was funny. But what is two wrongs? What does that even mean? I don't know.

I don't know. AI is one of them and there's got to be another wrong and those two things don't make a writer. I think it's right. I thought there'd be some launch there. Anyway, that signs up. You know what I thought

was interesting about the AI thing, which I didn't know until I listened to Justine Bateman on something or read something that she posted? Whoever, they're not even willing to talk about ai right isn't that there's like a stalemate about that like they just don't even want to talk about it or have any kind of refuse

to come to the table to discuss it because they say we refuse to put limitations on a technology we might use in the future right okay but the i didn't realize the problem would be that ai okay so it's going to take people's jobs that's the big that's the big issue that is like front and center but the truth is that even if that happens and that's all legal and fine ai will only be able to generate new material based on the material that it is fed from writers who have existed before so writers need to be paid for the machines that are going to use their writing not to mention um they're going to lose their jobs but like they should be compensated for like the stuff that's plugged into the machine i thought that was an interesting point

there's some copyright everything that exists yeah it takes everything that exists it plugs it into the machine and then it spits out a you know a farcical uh you know plagiarized version of a script that a writer would write and has no human humanity in it at all i really don't believe that ai is ever going to be able to replace writers in terms of that but what it can replace what about humanity it can replace if it replaces humanity then it'll be great because then it'll be ai making stuff for other ai and that'll probably be a utopian society that would be better than what we currently have. I saw a clip of... Oh, sorry, what? What's your butt?

SAG-AFTRA has just decided they're going to do a vote on whether to strike or not also. AI can definitely replace actors and actresses by just... They could take a likeness of you, Nikki. Let's say you sign a contract and you say, I'm going to be doing this show and then you tape for one day. Then they get all likeness of you, Nikki. Let's say you sign a contract and you say, I'm going to be doing this show.

And then you tape for one day. And then they get all the angles of you. And then they can take your likeness and they can just have AI perform all the other scenes for you and you don't get paid for that. And that's... Well, that's what F-Girl Island will be once we get all the footage from F-Boy 3.

Yeah. You can go home early. We've... I mean, deepfakes are already so good. From F boy three. Yeah. Yeah. So that's, you can go home early. We've, that is, I mean, deep fakes are already so good. Like you can kind of do that.

I, I watched this one that someone made me, my friend, Brian Marna Monarch, who does deep fakes of like, you'll often see like Joe Rogan and Theo Vaughn on different faces. Brian Monarch is the guy behind those, but he did one of me as Taylor Swift. And I watch it all the time.

Because I go there, and then there's me doing stand-up, but it's Taylor Swift's face, and you just realize that Taylor Swift's prettier than me because I look weird on her face, and then she looks great on my face, and you just kind of go, oh, we know what's going on here.

But beside that, I love watching it because there's oftentimes that I watch Taylor Swift and or anyone for that matter doing things with their fingers young Korean children playing guitar and you go my fingers can do all of those things those fingers are not have abilities that mine don't why why it gives me hope but it also gives me a sense of defeat do you ever do that where you're like that person's body is no different than my athletes you go no that's different they've worked harder but like guitar like schlubby guitarists i'm just like there's no muscle there are muscles there that i'm not aware of and um you know there's just more than anything, there's brain matter that I don't have.

Yeah, there's strong neuronal neurons connecting each other pastly. I watched Anya do like finger picking and like, I don't even understand. I mean, I do because I have sense that practice leads to like memorizing things and all that stuff. But even when you're playing that one song, Not a Through Street, which if you've never heard anya's song not a through street please spotify right now pause the episode go to it it's one of my favorite songs thank you but the the finger picking on that you go like all up and down and it's just so um i'm like do you do you it's not hard when you play that song is it a is it a memorization thing like your body has memorized it or is it like oh i know what i'm doing it's not hard you could totally do it if there's just one part that's a little challenging it's all about just memorizing uh like patterns in my mind like

my fingers make this shape then they make this shape i don't know what notes i'm playing i have the same thing with you when you're playing a taylor swift strum that i don't know that i've talked about multiple times and i'm like yeah that makes me feel good that i'm a skill you don't have on guitar it's the only thing i have to my name it's very frustrating and i'm slowly getting it and it does come with repetition but man you've invested a lot of hours because you you're singing things at a different uh you're doing a syncopated thing which is really advanced and you don't even know you're doing a syncopated thing but it's incredibly

hard for me. So nice. It's like rubbing your belly and patting your head at the same time. Right. Well I have that feeling a lot when like you know normal everyday people say like the funniest thing I've ever heard that is not just like you know the way they said it or like a funny thing like it's like

actually like mathematically hilarious where I'm like oh like two wrongs don't make a writer that's mathematically hilarious what is the good side

you did oh so then I mean this is just this is just life you know I wrote I just drew a picture of a pile of shit and it fucking

lit up the place everybody was like haha look at that did it have any a caption with it it's just a pile of shit it just was a pile of shit with flies around it and people were like i love that it was a pretty good drawing you should go into art not writing you're an animator i am oh yeah you are an animator. I am. Oh, yeah, you are an animator. You do great animations. Was that depressing at all for you that you're like, wait, I barely tried on this song? It's so embarrassing when that happens. I mean. When you get a compliment for something that took zero effort, like in writing, in preparing my new special that I'm going to tape this December in Seattle, watch out.

I am talking to Chris about all my jokes and he's like, well, you going to tape this December in Seattle, watch out. I am talking to Chris about all my jokes and he's like, well, you got to do this one. And I'm like, I hate that joke. Every time I tell it, I cringe. I don't like when people laugh at it because I didn't do anything to earn it. I didn't, it didn't take any brain power. It was, it was my shit. You know, it's me drawing a picture of shit, which I have drawn. And I have actually talked about drawing shit on stage. And that was actually one of my favorite jokes is when i talk about um i think it was my last special maybe i cut it out but i talk about how um i'm less it was something about being less scared of people finding nudes in my phone than if oh i can't take

a picture of my shit i've wanted to take pictures of my shit to like send my friends because they've been so impressive and if i could just say for a second i had i did not really have a lot of exodus happening in my european trip i have to go to break i'm gonna share with you something that happened this morning and i want to talk about it but i was really stuffed up all the break and then we're going to talk about shit when we get back, but I will not be graphic. And, um, and maybe Brian will drop a picture of it. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Ooh. And I am Matt. And we're the hosts of how to money. We want to be with you every step

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We're going to find out why you're having a wedding in the Rocky Mountains. And then we, let me just talk about my shit observation. So the observation I made in my special about shit was that I didn't want my nudes to leak. But I'm more worried about if I've never taken a picture of my shit, even though there's been times where it's looked exactly like something. Like one time it looked exactly like Mr. Hankey, the shit from South Park. Like it was him.

And I wanted to take, but I couldn't because what if I'm, what if someone finds my phone or it's been like, it's especially huge. And I think the joke I made was like, I could give birth out of my ass based on this. Like, and I've,

so Anya and I, when we were living together because I never wanted to take a picture of it i would draw it yeah it's almost like yeah they i i would it would be better off drawing a picture of muhammad than i would like the shit that i've they would be more damning for my reputation but um do you guys ever have the thing so i was really stopped up in europe and i guess that is a common thing like it's the travel bloat like i sent a picture to anya of my stomach she sent one back later i looked six months pregnant i think we talked about this already no we did not

but i looked legit shiv roy last episode of succession six months pregnant um and i showed chris i put a towel over it to show chris because i couldn't have him see my actual but i was like just no underneath this look look at me i look pregnant he was just like are you like he was so confused by it um it is crazy what the body could do and that it's just gas mostly gas and water well mine was material and um it was and and then i thought you know by the end of it i was like you know things are happening things are flowing there's like little things happening here and there but there was nothing substantial and i'm not someone who tracks like what's going

on with my body very much but the past two days i don't know if anyone's ever had this i woke up this morning with a horrible headache and i it started last night and i've been kind of regular since i got back which is my favorite word to say i've been shitting normally when people are just like i'm regular it's such it's such a stupid word it's like when people are like we're trying and everyone's like oh you're getting cummed in every night like it's kind of the same thing of like i'm regular it's like ew I just see like poop like coming out in a good amount of chunks coming out of your butt um so uh I I was thought I was regular and then this last night I had like a headache this morning I woke up with a headache I couldn't get out of bed and I was you know putting my eye mask on super tight so it would just push my head to make it stop and then I went to the bathroom and I was like oh my god that was it i was like oh this that

like solved my headache then i went down to starbucks and had a sip of coffee and i instantly was like what's the bathroom code and it is i tried to memorize it because every time i i always think i'm not gonna need it in my phone but i should have put it in i think it's oh i remembered it 62 23 and you know how i remembered it I was saying that's like just remember a disgusting age like a a couple in Hollywood like 62 23 like that to me is just like a gap that would happen so I went in there and I had the best BM of my life which is is on par with many I've had but isn't the best one where you're in a public space where you're like kind of worried about the plumbing situation and you're you're you're

the eel that you release into the wild the electric eel goes right down the hole like it knows where its home is like disappears don't you love that when you look in and it's like already on its way and you're like this is gonna be no issue because the issue is always the breaking up of it and then it then it breaks and then it tries to go in twice like both sides try to go in we all know this this is a thing that happens to most of us most of us but i was like has anyone talked about the satisfaction when you look down and you go oh good snake you know where your home is it's already like headed out the door does that is that relatable i always imagine like the like those olympic divers and they have like the perfect dive and that's what i related to yes

yes it just slices through the water perfectly there's gonna be it barely even there's no it doesn't touch the out you could drop your phone in the bowl and if it just hit the sides it wouldn't even touch the giant and aren't you kind of shocked and proud when like the tail is coming out yeah uh what do you mean like it's like out like when it's coming out of the hole oh i've never had that before but i think in europe i did a little bit even though that my poops weren't big enough. Because in Europe, that's where I would have happened. Because the water level is so low in Europe toilets. Yes. And also, I have another observation.

And you have a weird thing in Berlin that you never saw. Because in Berlin apartments, because we weren't in apartments, we were in hotels. But in the apartments in Berlin, there is a poo shelf and there's no water. So when you poop, you poop on a shelf in the toilet and then there's then it flushes. So it's truly disgusting. So it flushes the water comes from

the side of the bowl onto the shelf and pushes it down like a waterfall? Yeah, and do you know what the shelf was for? It had a practical purpose. Poop? For people to inspect for worms and stuff. So you're supposed to like go through your poop it's insane i went to my friends and i was like oh it smells the entire bathroom up if it doesn't immediately submerge into a little trophy shelf it's for some of the things i've

let go and i had worms in my poop in fourth grade and i remember seeing them and then they went back inside really quickly by the time i called my parents in oh god and i remember being like there were and i thought i was hallucinating because they would not come out again once they got spooked by my like parents being there they were party worms and they don't like parents around and so they ran they thought the cops were coming they ran back in the poop and i was like i know i saw it and then i made the dumb mistake of telling my friend Molly Collier. I know you're out there. She's actually nice to me now.

She's a fan. She's been at shows, but she, I told her in fourth grade that I had worms in my poop and man, then everyone, everyone knew by lunch or by recess that I had worms in my poop. And then I had to deny, deny, deny, kind of like Kendall Roy in the final episode and one pivotal scene, not going to spoiler, not even a spoiler alert, just giving deny, kind of like Kendall Roy in the final episode in one pivotal scene. Not even a spoiler alert.

Just giving you, you got to get to it. If you haven't gotten to it yet, get to it. But have you ever done that where you told someone something embarrassing when you were young and then? Well, you denied and then you pooped. And then you're like, everybody look at my poop because the worms hide. And then, of course, the dumb worms would come out if you showed everybody. Yeah.

Or if you were, yeah, if everyone go, look, there's no worms because you know they're going to hide. And then that's when they're like, hey, what's up? I'm finally ready to come out if you showed everybody yeah or if you were yeah if everyone go look there's no worms because you know they're gonna hide and then that's when they're like hey what's up i'm finally ready to come out like they're this pride month for worms yeah um okay brian why why um the national park we know you love the outdoors oh yes your lady alley um but why this one and where are we going we are going to uh Mountain National Park in Colorado. Right. Okay. And that's also where I proposed.

And yeah, Ali and I have this thing where we want to go to all 63 national parks before we die. Before we die. Yeah. I'm already on my Franchi impression. How many do you have? Over 20. That's pretty good. Over 20, yeah.

Oh, that's good. You can die soon. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't go that fast. That's the lesson. Are you getting married outside? When are you starting to look at the weather? Is it that far out that you can start kind of seeing? In two weeks.

Mountain weather is unpredictable, but I do kind of hope. You know the mountain weather I don't I hope that it rains honestly I love the rain I think it would be great if it rained it's outside but it's a covered thing and Allie seems easy going like she wouldn't care if it rains and she'd look like hot in rain

yeah she wouldn't care I think she likes the rain too thank you thank you very much you got a good one when you say that on the podcast you know she listens to the podcast and oh when you say she's pretty it like makes her weak oh my god if she doesn't know she's she's one of the prettiest people going like naturally effervescently a beautiful person like chris and i are pretty obsessed with her and um she's just she's just a lovely person. Chris and I are pretty obsessed with her. She's just a lovely person. I'm actually really

looking forward to going on trips with you guys as couples and getting to know her more and better because she's just an instantly fun person. I first met her I think maybe I met her before Tim's wedding

but that's when I first feel like I got to know her. We went to a breakfast brunch thing at the Sunset Junction. Lizzie Cooperman was there. Yeah. Chris was there. Not an ideal situation. Yes, I think I was in like a funky mood that day, and I've been in some funky moods around her, actually,

even when we went to dinner at that Tao, I think it was oh you feel like you're listening i apologize for my mood that night i was in a bad mood man really yes oh i was oh my god i'm not i don't think i was i know i was i was i was depressed that day and i was being kind of like existential dread nikki of like i don't even like my life like i was just being a bitch and then i think it was probably triggered by how pretty she was and i was feeling fat that night and she just looked and she got like all this food that i was like man she just is one of these girls that can eat what she wants and like she just looks great like just me at my worst and then i and then i knew chris i felt bad because it was supposed to be like couples having a couple-y dinner and getting to know each other.

And I'm just morose. And I'm not being rude, but I'm just in a bad mood. And then I felt bad because I know that I wasn't my best for that. And I think that Chris was wanting it to be like, we is, we're going to be this foursome, you know, this is the quad. It's a reference succession. And I felt like I blew it. And then I felt like we redeemed it on the street though,

because we talked to you about some ideas. This is mind blowing for me. When was this? Like the early tens or? This was, no, this was November. It was 1910. December? Yeah.

It must've been january um okay this year yeah it was before brian was on the podcast yeah you guys were just visiting you guys were just visiting and maybe this was when you were doing um uh wheel of fortune or something i don't remember exactly yeah i was we weren't this wasn't in our santa monica trip where we were living there this was a separate visit when I was just at a hotel down the street. So yeah, he was there visiting. Yes. This is a lesson to everybody listening. I'm sure this happens all the time because I left that dinner thinking that I was a piece

of shit and I felt like I wasn't at my best because I had gotten my tooth extracted six days prior to the dinner. You were in pain. I was in horrible pain. I just felt like I wasn't eating anything. I couldn't eat anything. I asked the waiter, what's the softest food they have? But that was funny.

You brought levity with your pain. But this is the lesson. This is the lesson. After that dinner, I was in the car with Allie and I was like, was I just a piece of shit all night? And she was like, no, no. I was like, it just didn't feel like, you know, usually when the four or the three of us, Allie wasn't usually there, but when the three of us hang out, it feels just very comfortable

and easy. And that night I was like, I think I was a piece of shit. No, it was me, man. and that's the lesson yeah you were picking up on my vibe i was i will take responsibility for that because you were in pain and i'm sure there was something off about you but i was not having i was not yes anding that night and it was on me and i like i i've been pretty reflective this morning i was doing some journaling about um my mood disorder that i clearly have and like that reared its head in the international trip like literally a thousand times i just there's an uh an email coming to you anya at one o'clock because i have this new feature on gmail that everyone should do

if you're writing on your phone you hold down the send button and then it gives you the option to send later and pick a time yeah and it's so great because i wanted to send this i wrote this whole email to anya just you know going over our trip a post-mortem if you will and just thanking her but i was also like being reflective of like all of the shit like all the shitty things I did on the trip because I was like pretty like not great. Sometimes I, you know, and and there was nowhere for me to like usually and I'm not making excuses, but I am. Usually I have alone time to cry or to like really panic and like kind of vent vent not even cry because i don't really cry when i'm alone but like being alone i guess helps me just let it out in whatever way but i was never alone because i was with chris the whole time which is great because i wasn't like abusing food

with for my feelings because i was accountable i wasn't like there were so many great things about living with someone. And in fact, Chris and I decided like, we want to live together after this trip because there was great things. Spoiler alert.

But I do think that living in small hotel rooms where there's not separate rooms and places for you to get away and have alone time. Because when we had that in like certain suites, we would have like a balcony. There was no time. Even if you had had separate rooms and places for you to get away and have alone time because when we had that in like certain suites we would have like a balcony there was even if you had had separate rooms like

no time to do anything just my feelings got constipated and so i was cranky and bloated the entire time none of my clothes fit which is the number one time for nikki to i hate to talk in third person but for me to feel bad is to be uncomfortable in my clothes none of them fit and I made the mistake of I have this amazing stylist here in St. Louis who like hooks me up with she writes companies on my behalf and has them send me stuff and then I post and tag them and then we send them back and I've talked about this they're all sample size twos but I didn't try on any of the outfits before i went because i was like i'll be fine you know and then i get there and i have nothing to wear except these

clothes that are all too tight and make me feel insane and meanwhile i can't poop i'm bloated i just and i was like under the impression that europe is supposed to make you like diuretic or whatever but it didn't happen for me and um so i was just like a moody bitch and like i really and i don't think i'm alone in this that's why i'm sharing it like i don't think this is something unique about me or i'm a bad person but like i when i get in a bad mood i want to make other people in a bad mood too like i want other people to feel mad or to feel to feel like I feel what is that and why do I don't think everyone does that because I don't have it happen to me from other people all the time but like what is that need to bring why don't I want to absorb some people's happiness instead

of bring people down with me because I you don't want to be alone. Yeah, you're looking for affirmation. I feel this way and if other people don't feel this way, that means I'm a psychopath. And so I need other people to feel that way. It's like what I say about J-Lo. Am I a psychopath? Am I crazy? I'm so weird. Why can't I be like other people?

It's also harder work to feel better. It's easier to go down feeling sad your your muscles are like you're you're emotionally weak like you can't do the hard thing and it's easier just to do the worst thing which is just stay in that mindset and like make little jabs that like you know aren't specific enough for that person to go like, fuck you, but like are shitty enough that they feel bad. Like I'm probably a cry kind of expert at that. Yes.

Yes. We talked about muscle memory in the first segment and because you've done it so much, it's just like muscle memory now. So to unwire that is really difficult with a guitar, except mine's with, you know, it feels so good to keep digging and digging deeper and just piling on that's it almost feels like indulging and like eating a bunch of food or like um

uh we're staying in bed like if you wake up in the morning you just stay in bed like it's so easy to just keep doing that and something i learned recently is that you can fake being happy all right you can fake it you can smile you can just even if it's like to psychotic degree of being like I'm happy this is amazing oh my god this is the best thing ever and the trick is that will not make you feel better that day but it will make you feel better two days from now oh it's like exercise or like eating right why doesn't it just show up right away i gotta try that i don't know if that's true can i tell you about a book i'm reading a third of right now that i'm so into yes and this is legit i know that i felt this way

about a lot of books but i stand by all the ones that i said this is good this is kind of talking about the same kind of thing that i there was a book I was reading a long time ago. Let me just, I forget what it was. It was probably last summer and it was about manifestation and, and quantum physics and how if you imagine something enough, it's also Louise. Hey, I've talked about her just like the power of positive thinking. And obviously this has been talked about extensively everywhere you look. But this book that I don't know why it was in my library on my phone,

but I think I just download books sometimes from the subreddit books. It'll say like, what's a book that's changed your life? And I just, anyone who has a list that I think is compelling, I'll just download all those samples of the books. And so one day I was looking for something to read. And that day being on the way to um on the way to the europe trip i was reading the subtle art of not giving a fuck which by the way is was everyone read in 2014 or 16 when it came out it's so good you guys i know it's kind of care and it's like the set of like the amount of people who like

commented on my book and were like, whoa, that's a funny title. I'm like, how did, were you asleep in 2016? This was everywhere. But they, but it really, then the guy kind of writes in a co-way, but it's very conversational and he's not co. The book is not co. They made him call it that.

Like the publishers were like, you should call it that. He wanted to call it something else. So like, just like my show, Not Safe with Nikki Lazer, which that name was so good and i didn't like it at all because it made it seem like what i'm doing is not safe we wanted to call it nsfw just like not safe for work like this is stuff that like you shouldn't watch at work and it wasn't us being like we're so not safe for work but then they were like no one knows what nsfw means them being comedy central And they weren't wrong. Some people didn't know. But they would have Googled it or something. It doesn't matter.

Anyway, they made us call it not safe. And I hated it because it sounded like I thought I was sweet. And I don't think I'm sweet. Sometimes I do, but I'll usually attest to it. Then I did not think I was sweet. So I hated that title. So anyway, don't judge a book. But this book I'm reading now, it's called The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murray, PhD, and then comma, DD. I don't judge a book but this book i'm reading now it's called the power of your subconscious mind by joseph murray phd and then comma dd i don't know what dd is um dungeons and

dragons doctor of dentistry oh yeah i don't know but it's um not it's it was written in the 60s i believe um or maybe the early 70s but probably 60s and it's um it's the language kind of the way it's written is kind of new agey and kind of kind of like it just sounds like some guy who thinks he's pretty sweet but it is all about and it's just what i love about it is you get everything you need from the first chapter and then it's just repeating it over and over and i love a book like that because what that tells me is this is simple but what is difficult is getting it through your fucking skull. So I like a book that's not like, this is all these steps.

It's like, what is difficult is not what we're doing. It's what it is forgetting all the stuff, you know? And that's the same thing. My voice teacher said yesterday, he was like, singing is not hard.

People think it's hard, but what is hard? It's psychological. What, what is hard about singing? He was like singing is not hard people think it's hard but what is hard it's psychological what what is hard about singing he's like most people could be good singers he was like most people besides like harvey firestein who actually has a throat thing like both of his vocal like all of his vocal folds are filing at the same time so he always sounds like this he was like that guy can never sing good but most people can sing what gets in the way is trying too hard and what you need to do is learn how to to not try which is hard in and of itself but it's actually you have to learn to not do things

and that's what this book is about it's about just positive thinking like how you have to just anytime you have a negative thought, just don't say it out loud. Don't give it. I've said yesterday on the girls chat, don't put air in that balloon. Like just, you know,

it's there, have the thought, but like, don't feed that dog. The dog that's like, ah, like don't like, don't feed that possum.

Let's starve. Um, but the thing that I like about it is that you, cause it talks about how it can heal um and it's also quantum physics which i always like but it's not actually talking about that but it's the same things as the other guy talked about that really sold me on how manifestation is a science and it's not just like foo-foo woo-woo god shit and this is all about god and how people pray things away and how prayer works, not because

necessarily God is doing things for you, but because your subconscious mind is what is running everything in your body. It's the thing that's keeping you breathing. You're not like thinking like, I have to breathe right now. You know, like it just keeps your heartbeat going, all these things. Your subconscious mind is in control and your conscious mind is giving directions to your subconscious mind is in control yes and your conscious mind is giving directions to your subconscious mind all the time and your subconscious mind is kind of autistic in the sense that it takes you literally it does not have a sense of humor it does not have a sense of irony

so you have to tell it exactly have i said this before on this podcast yes sorry sorry to repeat myself but no i think it was like two times we said it in the first chapter but i'm getting it again and again i'm sorry to do it again but i'm so on board and i do think there's something i'm on board too i'm resisting it so much because it's so it's exactly what we're just talking about it's the harder thing to do which is just not feed that dog and feed those negative thoughts because you want to so badly but the more more I read about this, it's like prayer works because you are trusting that God is going to take care of it. The people that prayer works for, where they heal things about their body,

things that they could never heal. It's not because, you know, necessarily God is waving his magic wand and a miracle is happening. Your subconscious mind is, your conscious mind is saying, please, God, take this away and it's believing that god is taking it away yeah people that really believe there's a guy that's like i care about you and i'm going to take care of you they believe it so much that you send a signal to your subconscious mind that is not it doesn't have any sense of like there's any make-believe or that

you would ever be lying to it and it actually runs with that and then starts the healing process. And it works on a cellular level of all the way that you are breathing right now. And you don't have to tell it to breathe. It will start healing these things. And it can work for ailments and it can work for talent and artistry or a thing, you know, I've just been going like,

my body rids the energy that it doesn't need and keeps what it does. And this is my new weight loss plan. I am like, instead of, cause I've been like trying to tool with like, maybe I'll try to get on Ozempic. Maybe I'm gonna start starving myself again. All of these things I've just been like,

kind of gambling with myself. But instead I'm just telling myself, my body uses the fuel it needs and it gets rid of the fuel it doesn't. It doesn't keep around things it doesn't need. And that to me is what being the right size is, is like I don't want to I just want to be the right size for me. I'm feeling a little bit bloated right now. And to get to that right size, which I have been before and I've been healthy at that size. I'm just telling myself I am a beautiful, long, slender lady, which I am. I'm a tall lady that has long, slender features. And that is just who I am.

And that is who I will. I'm just saying that to myself over and over. I'm not saying I am Kate Moss. I am, you know, things I wish I were that my my body can't be necessarily i'm just sending the messages of something that i know is within my the realm of possibility for me and i'm telling my body like this is what i am and i'm also telling my body i'm one of the best singers that's ever lived i'm one of the greatest comedic minds of all time i am the voice of a generation i am telling myself things that I, let me just sneak it in, don't really believe.

But I am saying them over, I'm just saying that just because I don't want anyone to think that I think these things, but I want to be these things. And so I am telling myself that I am because the key, what I've learned,

and if anyone knows more about this than me, please enlighten me. But the key is not to say what you want to be and be like, I want to be the best singer ever. I want to be the best singer ever, like writing that over and over or meditating on that. It's I am the best singer ever. It goes beyond just forcing your subconscious to do it. You need to have that attitude. It is a requirement in order to become the best

singer ever or the best comedian ever, because the way the world views you is only 50% on talent. Then it's 50% on confidence. And you need to have that aura about you that says, I am the best and I know it. Are you stupid? Because it seems like you don't know it yet. That's the way you become the best. I'm scared of being that though. Let me be honest. I'm scared of being that person that I know who's delusional. I want to feel again,

like I want to approve of myself. I want to know my limitations and be okay with them. But at the same time, you're right. I do want to be the best singer in the world, which I'm never going to sound like Beyonce I don't think or Adele my I don't think my head shape or my uh vocal cords are shaped in the way to ever be that way but I can I think Taylor Swift is the my favorite singer one of my favorite singers and

she does not have the same voice as a Kelly Clarkson or an Adele or a powerhouse of like Ariana Grande and I think she would even admit that but her voice to me is something so special that I would trade in all of those girls for her voice any day um because it's it's perfect to me and so I think that that is yeah I think that's what I'm getting at and I it's so hard to do though I gotta say that maybe this is why I'm repeating it on here is because I, I, I, when I first read it,

I was like, this is what I'm going to do every morning. I'm going to write a hundred times over. I'm the best singer in the world. My body rids itself of energy that it doesn't need. It keeps what it needs. I'm a slender, beautiful,

a young woman. My face is not falling off my skull. Like I was going to say all the things that like, I am or like like i like gravity will affect my face in the in a beautiful way like i'll say whatever it is um you should alter that line a little bit of the i uh my body rids itself of things it doesn't need there's too many negatives in there it should be my body only keeps what it needs like something like yes okay yes you're right that's good keep it positive that's a good point um and i and i was like i'm gonna do this every morning it's been a struggle

for me because i've been waking up feeling not like that and i've given into not having those thoughts and i've i've given into the negative thoughts and i've been like kind of blowing up those balloons even though i'm reading this book knowing and i know for sure this works i have no question i'm as sure as there's no free will. And you guys all know how I feel about that. I'm positive this works. I've never been so positive of anything in my life, yet I'm still struggling to use it.

Brian, have you been on, I know that Noah and Anya know about the power of positive thinking. Why aren't we all doing this all the time? Because of the pharmaceutical industry. They want to make money off you by giving you pills. Everyone, capitalism just tells you you're not enough. And we have, if for $14.99 a month,

we have the solution to your problem and it takes five seconds. People are too lazy. They just, they don't want to do the work. What's $14.99 a month? How do I get it? Apple TV, you know, that's all you need. Oh, right.

I mean, whatever it is, like, you know, that's all you need. Oh, right. Oh, right, right. I mean, whatever it is. Like, you know, you could take a pill or you could go to this person or whatever they're selling. Or you could just buy this hamburger and you'll feel better for five seconds. That's what capitalism is. It's creating needs in you saying you're not good enough. You don't have this and you need all of these products. Yeah.

You stink. You're disgusting. You're a piece of shit. Why don't have this and you need all of these products you stink you're disgusting you're a piece of shit why don't you do it you do a lot of positive stuff but like I think human beings are we're complicated we're not all positive so we have a lot of this darkness

and that's why we probably don't do this stuff everyday because the dark voices are always there and it's just a practice. It's like yoga. You know, every day you try to turn the volume up on the affirmations and the positive stuff and turn the volume down on the bullshit. So much of what was ailing me was I was believing my thoughts. And then I realized my thoughts are not facts.

It's just like an angry guy in there that's like, you know, you'll never. Thoughts are things. Thoughts are things, Nikki. The cool thing about affirmations or like dreaming, daydreaming, fantasizing, visualizing what you'd like. I think that that's so powerful. Prayer, whatever you want to call it, is the reason it's so useful is sometimes you haven't even thought about what you want you're just thinking how much you don't like what you have oh this sucks why is this this way i hate my voice i hate that my partner i don't like where

i live and then if someone's like what what do you want well like in a perfect world like my experiment about let's say a phone rings and you pick it up and your dream is on the other end of the phone they're like oh we love this you got this job or you're gonna move here or you're gonna be dating so and so what is the phone call saying like when you write down wow or you visualize your dream it's hard and sometimes you realize it fuck i don't know what i want i don't even know what my dream i don't know what i want i my mom has said that to me my whole life you don't even know what you like when she's holding up two pairs of shorts for me to like wear to school and we're at famous bar and she's shopping and i'm doing that thing

crossing my arms and she goes nick which one of do you want to get these or this one i'm like i don't know she was like you don't even know what you like and i that's another that's another struggle for me is like chris talking about what's our five-year plan just imagine what you want in 10 years and i'm like more of this i don't know i don't i don't know but what about that phone call i i want to hear what if we had to if you have to choose right now that a phone is going to ring and it on the other end is going to be, what is it on you?

It's like asking you something or it's like, guess what? This information got a job on SNL or you're going to be doing a movie with Judd Apatow. So it rings. First of all, I'm not going to answer it. Cause I'm going to be like,

who the fuck is this number? And your ringer's off. Yeah. It's all. And then it goes to voicemail and it's like hey this is your dream if you have a chance can you please call me back because i have a lot of good things today my voicemail is full so it just doesn't even get through wait a second okay brian what is your call right now ring ring ring ring ring hello oh wait i have to say it wait i'm you i'm you hello oh um hey listen brian you just this

oh uh this is your dream calling you uh listen you just uh sold a cartoon to um fox or hulu or something and uh you're gonna be the uh creator and showrunner of your own cartoon. Oh my god! That's a good one! Okay. Guess what, Brian Frangie? This is not outlandish to me, Nikki and Noah, at all. At all. I'm like, well, that's why I'm asking, do you have scripts out there to the... Could that happen?

Like, could a script get into the hand of someone that could call you and say that? Yeah, I mean, I did sell a show once, but it just didn't get picked up to series so it's i'm i'm close enough but i uh yeah you know i it's just so hard that's so god man your dream stresses me out if that call came in i'd be like i gotta come up with an idea and i gotta like learn how to draw like i love that someone else's dream could be my like kind of like uh stressful thing but i i love that someone else's dream could be my like kind of like stressful thing. But I love that dream for you. And that is so going to happen for you.

And even you putting it out here like this, there's maybe someone listening that's like works in, you know, what's it called? Talent development or like, you know, what is it called when companies are looking for scripts and stuff? Oh, there's a production company? Development. Sorry, development. There's someone working in television development that has some sort of, now is a little bit inquisitive of like, what's this guy have to offer?

Because yeah. And where can we send them to go check out your stuff? Apples2Apples.com. No, I do. I would love to write a- Your Instagram. Yeah, go to my Instagram at Brian Frangie but I would love to have

one day this is not like my dream but I do want to have a coffee table book about apples yes that seems pretty easy that's the next call

yeah that's the text that you get okay we're going to get to the rest of our calls after this break and I would implore

you guys to think of this yourself and maybe call into the show and let us know what your call would be. And you can find that at our Instagram underneath our bio. In the bio part, there's a link to a place where you can leave us a Fanthrex message and tell us what your call is. This is so fun. We'll be back with more. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year.

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There's a guide for that too. The ability to approach somebody and make them experience desire for you in minutes or even hours is a rare and rather unnecessary skill, historically speaking. The Happiness Labs How-To Season starts January 1st. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests.

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Okay, Noah. Ring, ring, ring. It's your dream calling. Hello? Noah. Hi. Can you speak louder? I can't hear you. Are you there? Hello? Yeah. Just one second, please. I just need to close out these windows right here. Yes. Hi. It's Noah.

Noah, we have great news. You have land with a farm and cows and horses and all the animals that you've ever dreamed of. What? It's all paid for. You won't have to pay property taxes either. It's all yours. Whoa. Okay. you won't have to pay property taxes either it's all yours oh whoa okay so noah's dream is to inherit land with cows what else was on it horses chickens and where is this oh um okay so um wow

this sounds great um where exactly can i ask um just can i ask a few questions is that okay yeah of course um okay? Yeah, of course. Where exactly is this farm? In Arizona, where there's really comfortable weather all year long. Okay. Wow. Well, this is really great and I'm just going to need a couple days to think about it. There's going to be dogs and cats.

Did we say that? Oh, wow. Will they get along? It so we say that oh oh wow will they get along it sounds like it's two animals that don't get along yeah i'm thinking of all the problems this is my hell is inheriting land and getting a cartoon that i have to produce i'm sorry to make it about me but i'm thinking like i love that other people's i love that everyone's dream is so different i just want to have an animal sanctuary. That's my dream. Oh, that sounds so good, Noah.

I want to go visit it. That does sound amazing. Yes, exactly. I mean, if you're a guestie at home right now, I can't wait to hear all these dreams. Pun intended. Yeah, I can't either. When he retired, I was like, that is my dream.

I want to be able to retire and just like save animals in a sanctuary. Me too. We should, we should collab on that because i want to have yeah i want to i also would love whenever i see these video videos online of like cows playing with balls and like birds flying around and being friends with other fishes and stuff like that's so that's so great okay so that is a great call i don't know how you're gonna have the property tax part of it it's all paid for in the dream yeah someone is gonna like leave you something like this is totally plausible that someone who encounters you you're a nice person no no no one in your family that's that's not gonna happen for you but like

no someone is gonna encounter no Noah and be so touched by her like overall generosity and spirit that you're gonna be one of these people that has left something just from like you being kind and being like oh sir your shoe is untied instead of him being like I know it is and screaming at you like Brian they're gonna be like thank you so much let me put you in my will and give you all this land yeah okay i'll take it ring ring ring hello yeah me it's anya yeah i'm doing you and then you're your dream hey you know that song you've been fucking toiling over for months it's gonna be uh in the trailer for this thing and And you're going to be independently wealthy because you and your co-writers will split $2.5 million.

And you can finally buy that house that you want with the dream kitchen. And your parents are going to live close by. And you'll live in the same city as your friend. So you won't have to do this podcast on Zoom. And all your friends and family will be close by i just tell you like i'm not even joking i first of all i love this dream but the other day chris and i were talking about moving in together and then eventually like getting a house if we get married and all these things and i was like you know we're talking about where we want to live and i'm like i want to live in say i love living in st louis but i was like you know we're talking about where we want to live and I'm like I want to live in St. Louis I love living in St. Louis but I was like I gots to get a friend

like I need a friend here that I can see every day like I need it and um and I was like I'm gonna work on convincing audience to move to St. Louis really and so yes we're open to it we're open I know and Chris goes really and I go I think they're open to it we're open i know and chris goes really and i go i think they're open to it and i'm like i think i can sell them on it i'll like see what i can do but i like that that was part of your dream as well because it's part of mine i like need to live close to a friend that's the thing everyone that is so useful about this because i don't even know exactly what my dream is i just know generally I want to be close to friends and family don't know how that's going to happen but you don't have to know but

just by articulating it something in your subconscious mind kind of like revs up a little bit and then you start making choices in your life that are slightly different because now you kind of know the feeling you want to have like I want to have the feeling of being close to friends or like doing the podcast in the same room or like having my parents down the street don't know how it's gonna happen but it just i think it affects your choices in small ways it's not magic you know what i mean but it just gets you thinking in a different way okay my here's mine wait what what brian no um uh i was just gonna ring the phone but i do want to say it's also important it's not just thinking in the same way it's when you do this phone call conversation it generates a feeling inside of you it's a a feeling of what you would feel like when you

did have success, which your subconscious brain- And then it tells your subconscious mind that you're getting it. Yeah, and that makes it feel good. And then your subconscious mind makes it happen. And so often you start feeling more worthwhile and worthy.

Like when I was trying to be in a happy relationship and I was painfully single and sad and dejected, I would do that in the mirror every night. Like if the guy I liked my dream partner was saying all the things i'd ever want said to me and at first i couldn't come up with anything then i was like well how could you have a dream partner if you don't even know what you want but then it was like i love you i have your back you're the sexiest person i've ever met in my life like things that sounded ridiculous to me but I'm like you said it out loud yes and then I started crying yeah and then I'd be like this is so

awkward and weird but like why is that crazy where did you hear to do that a friend of mine was like you should do some affirmations like tell yourself all the things you want your dream and you got it and then I started going to bed at night instead of crying myself to sleep. I had the feeling that I was in love and I was having amazing dreams and I was like giddy. And like I had this crush feeling and I was like, this feels like this feels like I'm getting away with something like doing drugs. I was so high off this feeling. It fucking worked. So if you're in that situation in your life life try that for a couple nights in a row tell yourself the things you wish your dream partner would say to you no one ever has to know

you never have to say it on a podcast you don't have to but like it's so nice that you did because it is embarrassing all these things like doing them alone or like that's why it helps this phone call thing to like do it as a podcast this is is like content. So it doesn't have to be as embarrassing. Okay. So that's why I'm asking you to call in because I'm asking you to do it. So you don't have to feel bad about it. Here's Nikki. Okay.

Hello. Hi. Is this, is this Miss Glazer? Yeah. Hold on. I got my sleep mask. Who is this? Wait. Can I call you back'm i actually this is urgent i i don't it won't take long i promise you and um and you can think about it and

don't worry um this is not going to you you aren't you don't have to do anything right now about it that's my dream is someone starting that with like you don't have to get back to this right away okay taylor swift has heard about you and your um love of her music and appreciation of her music and she um is really looking to mentor someone musically to take them to through the process of being a singer songwriter and she really thinks based on what she's heard from you and what she's seen of you that you really have what it takes to be a great singer songwriter and that she can really help you um through that process and she wants to be your mentor and um is inviting you to come out on the road with her and just be a part of the experience and she'll try to help you write off

stage and she really also wants some of your comedic input in her own life and I think that she artistically thinks you could both benefit each other very much and then eventually we'd like to work towards a place where you can you know a debut you know do be featured on a song of hers on a future album and then um share the stage with her at some point in a future concert if you uh work hard enough and um you get to the point where she thinks you're deserving of that wow i love this no one knew this what not really this is we could have imagined we could have like not not to this degree but we could have you never wanted to meet her so this is i like the collaboration don't meet her

until she wants to meet you like that yes that's the ticket is like you don't meet your ears we heard that from someone famous i forget who chris could remind me but he said don't because i think i have a chance to meet her this weekend and i'm gonna turn it down because i just don't want i want to meet her when she wants to meet me and because I'm going to see her this weekend sorry to people who haven't been able to go to eras yet I know this is getting annoying um but um in Chicago I'm going to see her with my mom and then another night two nights but um yeah I just feel like I think my last time we did this in the girls chat this phone call thing my dream was like her asking me to be in a music video,

but that would be like me being like funny in it. And I don't really want to do that. Like I want to, I like what we're big Leah did in her music video. I thought that was so awesome. I would have loved to be asked to do that, but I want, I want to,

I want her help in becoming an artist, even though like, and I want her, um, approval, I guess it would be, or like, I want her to see something in me and be like you've got it girl you know something like that i think that's why that whole thing was about like she's noticed that you have what it takes but that you might need some assistance and she's gonna help you because i acknowledge that what i want i need a

lot more help on so i think what i've learned've learned from this test is that I'm still about the hard work of it all and I don't want a simple fix, but I want to earn something, but I want, yeah, I'm open to help. So what did you, when you were saying that and you were doing the phone call, how did you feel? What were the feelings that manifested?

Like, yes, I get to go do something and like be a student again and be a novice. And I get to, clearly I'll be paid well and taken care of on this tour. So I don't need to worry about money. I don't need to be worried about taking, like I love doing comedy and gigs. Like I'll never stop doing that. And I would probably still do the podcast on tour with her. But it was like, there was a taking, like, I love doing comedy and gigs. Like I'll never stop doing that. And I would probably still do the podcast on tour with her.

But it was like, there was a feeling of like youthness of like youthfulness of like newness. Like when you're learning something new or you're embarking on this thing, that's like scary. There's like, there was a feeling of the feeling I had in my early twenties, like pursuing comedy of like, I don't know what this is. This is crazy or like um and of like approval like uh that you're on the right track and that this thing that you're kind of throwing yourself into and have a lot of self-doubt about is um is validated by the person that you care so much about uh and in who like you know like jerry seinfeld telling me i was funny i was like okay got it i'm good like now and for many months i was like very um like i was riding that high you know and anya

even had to remind me in europe like remember what seinfeld said like you're funny like you don't need to question that and but i do because i listened to clips of tim dillon and i'm like how can i think i'm funny when there's Tim Dillon which by the way he has a book coming out I'm so fucking excited about it it's he is I think he I heard him on your mom's house I was listening to clips this morning I don't know if I was cutting with them or I was like trying to be inspired it's hard to tell when you're listening to someone you admire so much like whether you're like trying to make yourself feel worse about it clips are cut by the way meaning they're edited i i get that but still off the dome he is so he's one of the he's just a super human and and i and and the fact that

i'm even able to acknowledge that and know that makes me feel special like i know that i'm talented because i'm able to know that tim dillon is the best like clearly there's something it gives me self-esteem to know that i know for sure he's the best but he's shared in this your mom's house clip it was so funny it's the one where he's introducing his book you can find it online i think it's like tim dillon clips it's like the youtube channel but um he's talking about how his dad uh like one time told him like you know what's good about you he was like i was smoking cigarettes with my dad at the age of like 12 in his car yeah like he was like and you know he told his dad told him you know what's good about you like meaning there's one thing he finally found it he goes you never smoke them down to the the filter yeah you always leave some he goes that's

what's good about you. And it was making me laugh so hard. But then he also said that his dad used to always like, kind of say things like, there's always going to be someone who can do what you do. You're never that special, kind of like always cutting everything with like, no matter what you achieve in life,

there's someone who can do it. Like kind of the way I think about myself of like, anyone can do this. It's not that I'm not special. And certain ways i am but i i said i tend to see things pretty like it's about hard work it's about luck it's just like don't get on your high horse too much and his dad would say that to him and i'm like it's so funny that but i think tim dylan out of every comedian i know i do agree that most comedians people could do that and there are like like copycats of like it's kind of repetitive a lot of times it's not that we don't need more

of that it's great every you know artists are inspired by others but i do believe tim dylan is the one of the exceptions to that i think he is so extraordinarily uniquely funny and i was just thinking like i'm just like uh was i don't think i was cutting with his clips because sometimes i do i go like god you'll never be this funny he's so fucking smart and fat fast and funny but this morning i was like trying to be more inspired by it and tap into whatever that obviously i admire it so it's somewhere in me that kind of like honesty and brutality with which he speaks that i look up to so much that i'm like let me get some let me have more of that yeah and let me tell i'm even talking like him now like it let me let me listen

to this and absorb some of it the other day i was trying to write like a bunch of jokes about one topic i just wanted to write a bunch of jokes about having gained a little bit of weight because i think that's just like an interesting topic to discuss just like just a little bit you know like it's not enough to really complain about or for anyone to feel bad about you but i was like where where can i go with this and i was on this porch of this hotel in tel aviv and i was like i just want to write a bunch of jokes and instead of just trying to do that i was like like, who writes a bunch? Who just has jokes rapid fire? And so I just started watching Jim Gaffigan on two times the speed on YouTube. And I just like dumped buckets of jokes on my head.

And like I was sopping wet with that kind of like thinking and that kind of joke writing, which Jim Gaffigan is just like joke. There's no fat in the jokes. There's no like, you you know i typed in like fat jokes and it's like all jim gaffigan but if you ever want to read hear jokes about any topic you type in jim gaffigan in that topic and he has 20 minutes about it and i think he has the most precise like writing so i've been using things that i'm jealous of, or I'm sorry, that I'm envious of to inspire me more so lately. Do you guys ever do that?

Do you ever like immerse yourself in something that you might avoid otherwise because it makes you feel bad? I mean, Tim Dillon did that to me. You know, Tim Dillon was my podcast co-host for like eight months on like 10 years ago on the Unbelievable Podcast. Really? Wait, I think I did know this, but I forgot it. Yeah, he was my

uh he was my co-host we were co-host do you agree with me about what that he's extraordinary well this is what happened on the podcast he would be on the podcast and i was like this guy is a fucking star and like he's just he shouldn't be here and and then eventually like what is he doing here and then so we had eight months of you know great podcast and eventually he left to do his own podcast but i i this was like in 2012 i was like this guy is so funny it's like i i'm not ready to be on the same podcast as him and uh then he did leave and then the podcast was shit no but it was it was fine and i was i saw it in 2012 or whenever it was, and then he left,

and then I was not surprised when he blew up. Are you still friendly with him? If I saw him, he would say hello, but I don't text him or anything. You guys were podcasting for eight. Was it a bad ending? One of the best moments of... No, no. It was a perfectly fine ending.

One of the best moments, because he would come to my apartment in Sunnyside, Queens. I used to make chicken franchise, one of my best dishes that I could make. One of my proudest moments is I made chicken franchise. There were some leftovers. Tim was at the house. I was like,

you want some chicken franchise? I know he's a foodie guy. He tastes the chicken franchise and he goes not bad not bad yeah a little too much white wine but not bad and that was like oh my god that was like the best compliment coming from him yeah yeah he um well i mean it's the best compliment coming from him that he was a co-host he must you don't agree to be a co-host on someone's show unless you think they've got something and which you clearly have there's no question of that that's why and you don't at you don't ask someone

to be a co-host on your show if you don't see that they have and like like you did with tim like yeah i want to absorb someone something of what this guy has but um yeah it's and then it's hard to see especially it's sometimes hard to see people that you started with or like were beneath you in the comedy world, like, you know, eclipse you or like I struggle with all that stuff. But I'm finding like just just try to try to enjoy it and not compare yourself, but like use it to learn. Like, that's why I want a mentorship from taylor swift like use these things as mentoring devices as opposed to like making you feel bad about stuff like do you do that anya do you do this i think envy is one of my favorite emotions because it tells me what i want and sometimes i don't know what i'm one of those personalities that's a that can you

know has a really hard time making decisions because I can see all the good sides of each possible option. But I remember when I was working at the radio station as a DJ in San Diego and I saw my friend's tour schedule. She was a singer songwriter and I was like filled with envy and rage. And then I was like, what are you doing? Why are you on the radio? if you're so envious start taking steps to have her life if you want her life what are you doing and that's when i was like oh i'm stuck here because of me but i can have what she has if i start taking like no one's gonna knock on my door and call me and be like, hey, guess what?

You have a full tour scheduled that's sold out. If you've never even made a record. Wait, what was the purpose of this call, this calling thing? The things we want. Miracles can happen. I'm just kidding.

Our phone calls are possible. Everything we've all said, I mean, is extraordinary. Besides the property tax. But you're taking voice lessons. You are a comedian. Taxes are unavoidable. It's death and taxes.

Noah also got a call that she's never going to die. No, Noah might end up being like, I saw a really cool farm in Arizona and I can afford it. On attractive land that happens to be a sovereign nation. He can afford the property tax. Tax write-off because it's a farm? Oh yeah, yes. Right. Because it's a farm? Oh, yeah. Yes. Right.

Yes, because it's a sanctuary. Okay, thank you. All right. It's true. That can happen. Also, I just found out if you have weddings on your land, you can write it all off. That was it. Just that envy is really helpful to me.

So sometimes I'll hear a song that I'm like, God damn it. I wish I had written that. And then I'm like, just start writing something like that. I think it informs your next steps. Was that an answer to your question? Or did you ask me something else? No, that was good. No, no, no.

I think that was, I think that was it. I actually saw this thing. I'll end on this. I followed, I guess on Instagram, you can like follow hashtags and I follow like voice teachers or something.

And there's this woman that I really like and she sells like, or she, yeah, yeah she sells classes but she also gives good advice and this was one that I really liked um she's talking about performance and like being a better performer and she said visualization is the practice of mentally imagining yourself performing in a way you would like to perform in real life it's a mental rehearsal of skills the idea is used in olympic sports training the studies show that when athletes use visualization they improve performance up to 30 so for your next performance try mentally rehearsing your performance scenarios and see if your physical performance of those scenarios and actions improve so 30 improvement i've read that before too i

think neil brennan suggested me a book that was like the 10% it wasn't 10% happier it was some sports book about like visualization and like you you meditate and you imagine the game you're about to play and then those players play better I've never done anything like that where I'm like picturing the performance I would struggle with that I struggle with like fantasy and like even you know with masturbation I'm never like thinking about something um but i guess now that there's a i usually looked at fantasy of like you're so dumb you're never gonna get this like this is just a sad thing like i pictured it like kind of pathetic and now that there's a purpose behind it that you could be 30 better maybe i could start trying to do it

but there was another one too that said, be well rehearsed. Science has proven that when musicians or athletes rehearse their performance ahead of time, they perform up to 30% better. I mean, that's- It's so true. We all fucking know that. Bringing this back to the thing we started with

in the beginning about weddings and anxiety. Today, this morning, I did like a little bit of wedding prep work that I've been putting off and i felt so good and excited about getting married which is a nice feeling just because like i don't know i bought some work yeah i bought like this stuff i'm supposed to wear under the dress which is so annoying and complicated to me because i don't know how to wear like what kind of bra and what kind of slip and i have to get the slip altered and it's fucking annoying but i did it i bought all the things i'll probably not wear any of them

but i bought a bunch of options and answered the caterer and wrote to the fucking delivery people and i'm like oh now i'm getting prepared it's the same thing as playing guitar for a couple hours or like before europe i picked out all my outfits and all of a sudden I was like 30% less nervous because I'm like, I know what outfit I'm wearing on what day and it feels so good. Do you ever watch these people like on YouTube, like the guy Jay Shetty with the ice blue eyes and like all these other like influencers that you kind of think they're full of shit. Ryan Holiday. He's the stoicism guy.

There's Lewis Howells. He's a friend of mine but like these guys and it just seems so easy for them to do all these things all the time it can't be though right like no one just lives thinking positively always practicing i think the only person that does maybe is taylor swift because and that is why she's been so successful like i look at her success and it's like i read this diary entry that they posted on the reddit the other day because she shared her like journals from the years and it was like today's the anniversary of when she picked the 1989 album cover and i was like who gives a shit and then i read the journal entries where she was like i arrived in shanghai i'm very tired and jet lagged and i knew if i slept i'd be totally screwed so i went to the

gym and i'm like, that's Taylor Swift. And then she wrote like, and I just was feeling unsatisfied with the photo shoot we did for 1989. I can't describe, but I just am not finding what I want. So I went back to the original stills that we took for like the outfit fitting or whatever. I'm paraphrasing, but she was like, and I looked at the Polaroids and I realized, oh my God, there's this one Polaroid of me that doesn't have my eyes showing and there's just something captivating about it and that's the cover and it was just like oh wow it was she going over things not sleeping when you know that it's gonna fuck

with you not because you know she didn't she needed rest and this was at a time in her life I think when she was exercising too much and she would probably admit that too but it I was just reading that going like there are certain people like this who got into good habits young and like instead of me beating myself up that like I'm I wasn't 22 and you know going to the gym instead of sleeping and picking out my album cover and performing a sold-out show in Shanghai with a ticker tape parade like and all these things I was just like what can I do to maybe be more like that? Or like, how can this inspire me? So I'm going to try to do more of that.

This was an enlightening episode. This was an inspiring episode for me too. You guys got me. What are we all going to do? Just sit by our phones all day? Just pick up every spam call. All right. That feels good. Well, until until next week we have so much

to discuss it will be um we'll get into wedding planning details because that's all coming up very soon leave us fan threxes we'll get to those next week as well thank you all for the messages you send all the kind words about brian and the show in general and uh we'll see you next week on the show don't be care and just manifest that shit with your subconscious mind, bitch. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How To Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit

and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed?

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B,

as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives

dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emi Olea, host of the podcast Crumbs. For years, I had to rely on other people to tell me my story. And what I heard wasn't good. You really f***ed last night.

It felt like I lived most of my life in a blackout. I was trapped in addiction. You had to grab the lamp and smash it against the walls. And then I decided I wanted to tell my own story. Listen to Crumbs on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.