The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #348 Up Close w/ Dave Matthews, NYC Apocalypse & a Testosterone Pellet

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

Nikki just literally got off a flight with a crew member named Franchie. Brian thinks his last name was due to a mix up at Ellis Island. While NYC was smoked out by a disappearing Canada, Nikki her BFFs and Mom went to see Dave Matthews in an intimate concert. Nikki realizes she is not so into exclusivity especially when it costs her fifty grand. Meeting Dave Matthews on his meet and greet line was well worth it especially if it activates the hormone pellet Nikki got in her butt cheek.  --- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IG    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

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Hello! Here I am! Welcome to the show! It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. It's Thursday. And it is actually Thursday right now when I'm recording this with Anya Marina, Brian Frangie, and Noah whose last name I always struggle with. Avior. Yeah, that's good. You got it. Avior. Yeah, that's the way. That's the way.

Brian Frangie and Los Angie, as Kirsten suggested. Yeah. Oh, that's the way that's the way uh brian frangie and los angie as kirsten suggested yeah that's really good i like that a lot yeah we actually had a flight attendant i almost said stewardess we almost had a flight attendant on the way to new york yesterday um and holla uh my friend holla who's a listener to the show big fan been on the show before um she and i both freaked out because our flight attendant they were like your flight attendant uh franch franchi franchi what f-r-a-n-c-h-e-e franchi wow we were both like oh didn't ask was asleep by the time she came around you know i learned recently that um there's a man named um somethingangie who lives in New York.

And I was like, who is this guy? My brother investigated. And it turns out he's my long lost great cousin. He wasn't lost though. He's long. Yeah, he found himself long ago in the desert. So any Frangie is probably related to you? Well, I do know this. he found yeah he found himself long ago so any frangie is probably related to you there's yeah

well i do know this that frangie i don't know if i said this before but frangie is syrian for foreigner it's a syrian word that means foreigner so are you a syrian so it must be that one of my ancestors the the og frangie went to ellis island and they were like, what's your last name? And then he said in his native language, I am a foreigner. And boom, that's my last name forever. Oh my God. That's interesting. That's how the band Foreigner got their name.

You think that's how it went? You think they said, I'm a foreigner? And then the person in the US said, ah, Frangie? Or you mean in Syria? Like the, at Ellis Island.s said ah frangie or you mean in syria like the at ellis island they were like they're in a long line of immigrants trying to get into america and they were like last name and then you know they wrote down the names on a piece of paper and the person was like uh frangie frangie and like what frangie and okay frangie but all he was saying was i'm a foreigner which is kind of a dumb thing to say if i think of you know you you know even no matter what the person

said maybe he thought the person was saying are you a citizen are you a citizen yeah that makes more sense but then it's surprising that there isn't more frangies because you think my whatever great great great grandpa i think was the dumbest syrian he's the only one they're all named whatever it means like i'm hungry and tired yes how do you say that there's no idea they're named where's the bathroom in syria like mcconnell or jones is like syrian for um i haven't eaten for two weeks. So, yeah, we flew to New York, Hala and I, to see, I got a chance to go see Dave Matthews perform a very intimate concert

at Irving Plaza, which I don't know if you know, it's like 1200 cap. It's like very small. Yes. And I thought it was going to be the whole band. It was just him. Just Dave Matthews, no band.

My favorite. I love seeing my favorite artists acoustically. That's like the way I want to see them all. I wish Taylor Swift played her whole concert with her guitar. But it was incredible. I was supposed to do it. First, they were going to pay me to do it. And then my lawyers caught wind of the deal.

And they said, you have a podcast with iHeart and you can't do anything for Sirius. And I was like, okay, I'll kiss $50,000 goodbye so that I don't post one thing, which by the way, I ended up posting anyway because I went to it. I didn't tag Sirius in it, but you can infer. So I ended up, nothing changed. I'm still eligible to go to things and post anything i want except i just didn't make fifty thousand dollars so um that would have been nice to get paid to go

do that and they were gonna give me money for glam and all this stuff so that was a little bit of a heartache and by the way iheart didn't catch wind of this they probably would have never noticed not that i'm ever trying to do anything shady i didn't even know it would be a conflict of interest. I didn't even think anything of it. I'm like doing the deal with the guy. And I'm like, yeah, this sounds great. Let's do it. And then my team was like,

hey, this doesn't go well with your contract. And I go, can we change the wording? Because this is, I'm promoting their album. I'm not even, it's not even for serious. And they were like, it's going to be too much. And I go, okay, well, can I not pay you guys fifty thousand dollars this year because you just took that from me for calling this thing out that i wouldn't have

ever gotten no one would have noticed no but it's the right thing to do and once i realized it was in breach of contract kind of obviously i was not gonna try to do anything of course but that's just i never understand why i get like when when a platform has you like if i'm doing a show on um abc i'm not allowed to do shows on any other network if i were abc and this is just me i would think it's all about like ego for these people like we own this talent i would think if she went over to nbc she'd probably talk about the show she's on on abc and it would be good for us any publicity or this person getting out there is going to lead people to google them and find out where else to find them therefore leading to us but people want to own you any press travel is we ran into this

all the time when i was a radio dj And it was so annoying because these radio stations have these wars. And I was in San Diego. There were two alternative rock stations. And if a band came to ours and not the other one, the band would be dead to the other station. It's like, really? Smashing Pumpkins is dead to you now? Yes. Because they came to see us?

They do that at comedy clubs. And it's so bad. It's not good for talent. And it's all a game of like people people's egos and i i've no i've no ill will towards iheart obviously they've done they're like the best company to work forever they've given me everything i ever could want and they had nothing to do with me not doing this deal literally nothing but it is weird when when comedy clubs used to do this. Brian, you know this. If there's two comedy clubs in town and you are an up and coming comic who needs as much stage time as possible to get good at what you do.

You need to take every chance. If you work the other club in town, you will get blacklisted from the club you originally work at. Because these owners want to like own you if they really cared about talent and nurturing talent and making you a better comedian they wouldn't give a fuck if you went across the river and performed at the saint charles location or whatever but they do they only give a fuck because and and by the way when you're coming up as a comic no one gives a fuck who you are you're not a comic, no one gives a fuck who you are. You're not a name yet. No one can claim you yet. They just, they do this to open micers who have no following.

They just want to, they just feel, it's, it reminds me of monogamy too. And which bothers me about like, I own someone and you're mine now and you can't even think about someone else. And it's like,

well, I'm a human being and I want to have experiences and I just, just ownership of someone else it starts to get it man it gets in my craw it's only hot in the bedroom if you say it what do you mean i own this i own you yeah yeah yeah that's true it's just but i don't understand i've never understood why in television if i have a show on nbc why they won't let me go on an abc show i'll tell you why human

nature is annoyingly such that when you hear something like the power of suggestion is very strong so if i'm listening to a radio station at 100.3 and that dj is like you know on 98.5 it's just human nature to flip over to 98.5 so i think that's you're right it's ego but i think another part of it is also the power of suggestion like you just heard something and now it's subconsciously in your mind if i have a star on my network that is the star of a show i want them to be on as many things as possible that would leave as long as they're good i understand like not wanting your artist to go do shitty things like to go do a like beer chugging contest on another yeah station or something but if you're just if if if i if if my show is your main show and you want to go do other shows like

it becomes when you whittle it down you go it's not about them feeling like we're missing out on money from this it's about we just want to own you i can i can argue for on behalf of the giant corporations like i think it's partially branding it's partially branding like when when like you know hbo like you watch an hbo show and like the same actor is in like all the all the HBO shows that come out for the next 10 years they associate just like the major studios back in the 50s it's like people will associate that star with the network so like if you only appeared on iHeartRadio then whenever you post on Instagram just personal stuff, then in the viewer's mind, iHeartRadio will pop up whenever

they see you because now you're associated with that brand. Just like back in the day, anytime that we saw James Gandolfini, we'd think about HBO. Right. I get what you're saying. What I'm saying is, if you want the person

who is a star on your network to be a bigger star, to have more eyes on your thing, wouldn't you want them to do more things and to expand as a star? But it's not. It's the same thing as like, I don't want you having fun anywhere else

if I can't have fun with you. HBO, the stars network doesn't get to have you either because we want you. It's about, it's still what it bottles down. Exclusivity. Yeah, exclusivity kind of grosses me out, I'm realizing. When you do a show in a city,

I think the contract even states like, you cannot play a show in this city for six months or something crazy. That makes sense because there are people that don't want to come see me again. But if I'm doing, this might be the same, I might bring back the same show to town.

That makes sense. But if I'm, people don't have a threshold for how much entertainment they watch on TV. They're not going to choose me on a cooking show over me on, you know what I mean? I don't know. You're making sense. I'm kind of making sense.

Well, I agree with you. I'm just playing devil's advocate, arguing for, you know. The devil. Yeah, the devil. Big corp. Big corp. But I agree with you.

And you know, the future, the future I think is in the individual, especially with the dissemination of people's social media identities. And eventually, everyone's becoming their own company. And the days of the old studio is not going to happen anymore.

You're right. Yeah. I agree with you. Yeah, but unfortunately, the people who are running these companies, not iHeart, are these people from that era who are just like so set in their ways.

Yeah, they're so old. And they're terrified of losing their jobs because there is no stability in corporate america there's i do want to say that if i was in their position i would take no risk yes i would get no one looking at me even though your head is constantly in the guillotine ready to be chopped off at any moment for nothing you've done i can't even tell you the amount of times anytime i do a general meeting with executives from a network i go i'll have to do this again in three months because it'll be someone new i don't if you're listening i feel so bad for you guys like it must just be terrifying every day to

walk into work knowing that you could be on the chopping block that's why everything on tv is pre-existing ip now or a remake of something or it needs to have a gigantic star attached to it. No one takes risks anymore. The artistry in Hollywood has gone down the shitter. Did you see that jury show? I really wanted to watch the one where they made a fake world around that guy. You would have been a great guy for that, Brian. You know who was on that?

Was that the one on um freeform or it went i forget who knows i don't know i don't know your second cousin michael yeah i don't know who to associate that brand with but that was it was like james marsden's in it yeah and they tricked this guy into doing jury duty was it so fun it was it was good it was really hyped up uh and i was like eh i'm okay i got one episode lisa gilroy is on that and i'm obsessed with oh yeah i didn't get to her episodes i really like her i would love to see her yeah that felt like a original thing like a risk being taken um f boy island is somewhat of a rip. I mean, we, you know, definitely did things outside of the box, but again,

like it's, there are zones that you can stay in that you're kind of safe. Um, but it is, I was pitching some show ideas the other day and getting just like, ah, that sounds good. Like,

okay. Oh, and like, like like honestly no response to them but i wouldn't even know it was a pitch meeting i just thought it was a general meeting where you just go like hey what's up i'm nikki you're them let's like talk in the future if we have any ideas and they're like but we want to know what you're thinking about and i'm like um i'm working on my music career i don't really care about doing tv right now. So if you have a TV show about that, I would love to do a TV show where I'm like trying to be a musician.

And they're like, okay. But that is kind of what I realized. No offense to everyone who's working very hard to keep me in this career. I just want a different career. I mean, I want this. I like podcasting. I like doing standup.

I'm not looking for a sitcom. That honestly seems like, yeah. Can I just say for the record? I'm waiting for that call from Taylor. What? For the record, I think the only giant corporation that takes risks and does it right

and is full of brave, smart people is iHeartRadio. I mean, they're the only ones. I also wanted to say iHeartRadio. They really are one of the best corporations listening big money players network the algorithm is though big money players network yes um no we're great i'm i have no complaints about i heard anyone anytime someone writes me to go like hey i'm thinking about doing a pot i'm always like they have done everything that i've ever

wanted and wished they've given me no notes they let me be myself they are they're amazing so very grateful because you know when i was choosing a podcast network it was between a few i gotta go oh hell yeah it was it was a little bit of a uh not a war but a um a bidding skirmish a skirmish yeah there you go and um i chose right sometimes you just go i don't know what i'm doing. We'll just see if it works out. And it definitely worked out. Like everyone there is so nice. And I'm a little corporate bitch and we'll be right back after this.

2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending,

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It's too much, Nick. And I'm like, it's, you know, it's a little bit of money for flights, but we stayed at my friend, Sarah Lena's house.

I didn't have to put her up in a hotel. It's a free ticket to this intimate show. She didn't't know it was she thought it was going to be at a stadium or arena and then i told her i was probably we probably had 90 chance of meeting dave after the show and she was like i don't know i shouldn't go and i just bought her ticket i was like well then you're you're going if you're even on the fence you're going so she flew out yesterday new york was apocalyptic oh it was oh yeah because of the fires the fucking air was orange it was orange and yellow outside it was so bad i realized that during covid i didn't give a fuck about my mask because yesterday i was wearing a 95 so responsibly making sure it was

tucked over every portion of my face circum Circumference, totally solid. Using that little wiry part of the nose to make sure no air got in. I realized, during COVID, I didn't give a fuck about my mask. I'm coming out with it now. I made it look like I cared because I wanted to respect those around me, but I was

never scared of getting COVID. You don't believe in germs. It's not that I didn't believe in it, or I was like, this is bullshit. Everyone doesn't care. I knew it was of getting COVID. I should have been. You don't believe in germs. I just wasn't. It's not that I didn't believe in it or I was like, this is bullshit. Everyone doesn't care. I knew it was a big deal. I just can't care about things that I don't care about. You know, like you can't get me to be scared of picking a lollipop off the ground if I don't already care. You can't get me to care about travel and seeing the world if I don't care about it.

You can't. Tell us what made you care about this because it's it's my voice and because it's like breathing in cancer covet i'm like okay i just oh my god um i was coughing all day long um i didn't feel it like in my head people were getting headaches and stuff i didn't feel it anywhere else i was just like my voice was already fucked we would have recorded this podcast two days ago, but my, I had to go on vocal rest cause I sang too much over the weekend at Taylor

Swift and stuff and just overused my voice. So yesterday I was trying to do vocal rest and, um, and then it was like, it was honestly so scary outside. Yeah. People were driving poor, like traffic was bad.

It looked like everyone was trying to get out of town because the city was on fire it was really scary and i know a lot of people in california and such have witnessed this kind of weather colorado skies it's it's terrifying you're in a city grid and you can barely see the sky and there's like no fresh air breezing through yeah five blocks down you couldn't see the buildings. Yeah. It was that hazy. And this is our future, by the way.

Like this is not like once, it'll be once in a while for a little bit, but I realized COVID was wearing masks inside and the future is wearing masks outside. The only time you'll be able to not wear masks is inside in the future. I have an erroneous belief. We're all going to have personal. I have an optimistic, erroneous belief about this. I feel like. Really?

Yeah. I feel like with the forest fires, obviously, I believe in climate change. And I believe that climate change is exacerbating these forest fires and making them more intense and more frequent. Don't come at me for that. But I do believe that we have a history of not doing controlled burns, which is something that the Native Americans used to do hundreds of years ago to make sure that our forests didn't get overgrown. And in fact, for decades, we had a policy in most major developed countries of just

preserving forests without burning them, without cutting down trees, so that they would become overgrown and more likely to burn. And now with the climate changing, the fires are more likely to start and they're going to burn bigger. And I think what will happen eventually is the forest will be burned and they will be thinned out and we are less likely to experience these gigantic forest fires

because there won't be- Because they're all going to burn. There won't be enough trees left to burn. I don't know. You ever fly across the United States and go, there are so many goddamn trees. Yeah. You ever like see like when you're flying into an area,

you go, all there is is trees. Or you take a drive up the upstate and you go, there's so much forest. That's probably why I'm wrong. We're only like inhabiting like 5% of like North America. It's just some like low number. Whoa.

So I'm probably wrong. I low number whoa so I'm probably wrong I just want to say I'm probably wrong but I say that to myself to make myself feel better yeah we've once you've destroyed it all there's nothing left to burn

I do like that theory there's something interesting there but it was but it grows back really depressing yesterday depressing yesterday and I was worried

the concert was going to be canceled and you're right Anya it does grow back I was just thinking about all the birds and raccoons that i was breathing in the burnt animals that were like what's happening and the babies that are freshly born because it's springtime all the baby animals like that's where my mind goes i don't really they don't know where to go and a lot of animals have been have evolved

awful a lot of animals evolved to actually run through fire because, yeah, because. Like they're at a Tony Robbins seminar? Yeah, so they got to, they want to experience the Holy Ghost. Yeah. But they run through fire

because historically, fires have not been big enough for, they could just run straight through them and get to the other side and then be safe. Oh, right. But now the fires are so big that

they might be evolved to run through the fire. And there's no way out. I just did an interview for this channel in San Diego right before this podcast because they wanted to talk to former San Diegans that were in New York and the guy asked me for an on-air

clip. He goes, these fires came from Canada so what is your feeling about that like he wanted you to hate on canada yeah and then i don't know why i got infected by the san diego fucking linguistic curse that you get when you're talking to san diegans and i actually said i mean it's it's a bummer. That's all I had. It's a bummer and it's a drag. I think I said it is

harshing my buds. I mean Canadians are so polite. It's a surprise that they let that smoke come over here. I know I was surprised to hear something

catastrophic coming from Canada. I was like really Sarah had the funniest tweet. She's like what if after the smoke clears Canada's just gone? Like it disappears in a haze.

I was worried that they were going to cancel the show last night because Dave being able to sing and he did Howard Stern yesterday too so I knew he'd been up all... You have to get up at like 3.30 in the morning to prepare to be on for Howard at that time like it's so early not that he did hair and makeup or anything but i he even said at the concert like i woke up very early so i could be sharp for the

interview that happens early so he got on stage instantly and was like i'm tired but anyway we um we went to this show and holla also went. Laura Holly, my best friend from high school, who notoriously told me in high school that, in a disgusted voice, Hala, I know you're listening. I remember she was just like, you think you're going to meet Dave Matthews? What?

Oh my God. Yeah, right. And I was like, I i will and i really did what was the conversation before that though it was like me being like i'm gonna meet him someday just being like sure of it you know and like talking to my friends about like when i meet him someday i feel like i'm gonna say this or what you know it was just like in high school before you did comedy before anything yeah this was like me using that book the power of the subconscious mind to like trick my mind into knowing that this was going to happen in the future without any doubt and my subconscious mind made it happen so you made a point to get her roped into this trip yeah and she's a dave fan

and so and and we were huge dave fans in school. So I thought it was, I didn't realize it was a part of the story until I already invited her. And she goes, wow, this is the ultimate fuck you to me in high school. For you to like bring me to see you meet him. And the truth is she did see me meet him because after the show, we got meet and greets. We like stayed up in this area. And the guy that was handing out the wristbands camebands uh came up to me and gave me and my mom one and did not give hollow but the thing was we were like i am so conscious of meet and greets because i do them and i knew dave was tired and he had been up since probably four in the

morning that day and had to do a sound check for two hours he said and like he had a long day i did not even want to meet him because it's just like it's too much and we were and and so i just i didn't want to add another person to it and holla was like i'm fine i don't care because holla don't care anyway and she was just happy to witness it and she was art it was as if she met him she's up there like right next to us all meeting him and um but it was so first of all i get to the show and i meet brooklyn decker because she's a dave fan and she's on dave matthews band radio being interviewed and then i'm after her and so we exchanged pleasantries and she's so cute and adorable and was wearing the cutest denim jumper that i wanted to get and she had

like a cropped like she had a anya's length hair and it really made me want to get it because i haven't seen that hair on like a tall blonde like she kind of has the same kind of body type as me she would probably be offended if i said that but i could kind of blur my eyes and be like oh i look cute with that hair and 20 pounds thinner um and anyway so she was really nice and then i went on air and then ari the guy who runs the channel, was like, so we're going to intro Dave tonight. And I was like, what? He was like, I think it'd be really cool. And he's just all over the place trying to run the boards and figure out the timing of the show. And I'm like, well, what are we going to say?

And he's like, we're just going to go up there for four minutes before. And Dave doesn't like to. And I go, four minutes just vamping? I go, I got to have a plan. And he's like, no, we'll just do it. I'll talk a little bit. I'll bring you up. And I gave him specific instructions how to bring me up.

Because if you don't know, when you're bringing someone on stage, like a lot of times, and this might help our listener, if you're ever introducing someone at a conference or like at a meeting, at a work function in front of people, and you're introducing someone, make sure that their name is the last thing you say. Oh, God. So this is like a very great tip it's it nobody really knows this until you start hosting because i didn't know it but you just say hey are you guys ready for your next performer okay you know them from blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah please give it up for nikki glazer you always say their name last because if you go are you guys ready for nikki Glaser okay here she is and then they don't really know when to clap like and you gotta save the name for last because you're building the anticipation yeah people go now welcome Nikki Glaser you're gonna love her she's gonna be great like people do that sometimes they trail off and people are like don't know when to actually at least with a Nikki Glaser the applause applause is like, okay, now all together. So I gave him that speech. I now pronounce you husband and wife. Yes!

Now we're going to do the rings. It's like, what? Yeah, I'm going to now pronounce Anya and Matt Nikki Glazer. I'm going to make sure to say my name last when I do that. But yeah, it was so I was really like, because he was so all over the place. I was like, you listen to me right now. You look at me, you say my name last.

Okay. It's like, you do not say my name. You say it only once. And it's the last thing you say. So whatever you say before that, make it. And so he's like, okay. And then he brings me up and I did a few jokes about like, thanks to everyone for braving the apocalypse to be here.

If you happen to see like any smoke on the stage, there's not like a smoke machine. Someone just left a door open. Please alert an attendant. So I just like gave uh a little couple jokes and then we just were like and and dave doesn't like to have it be like and dave matthews man he doesn't like that he just likes it to like just gently start so we were like are you guys ready for the show okay he'll be out in a second yeah and we just walked off and um and then the show started and as i'm walking out of the backstage area he entered from the other side of the stage so i then the show started and as i'm walking out of the backstage area he entered from the other side of the stage so i didn't see him but as i'm walking out of the

backstage area i could like head back to my seat but then i saw like there's a gate up like to keep the front row from being like on the stage so there's like a little area for like cameramen to go that's pretty much the front row but then there's a gate behind the front row yeah and i sat on the gate in front of the front row and i just found a little nestled spot i was four feet from dave matthews the entire time um he played one of my favorite songs gray street which if you have ever heard that it really like that's the song that gets me through when i'm feeling really depressed because i feel like that girl in that song. And I love when men write songs about women being depressed and anxious. It just really turns me on when they understand it so much. And that song really, it was just so good.

And all the fans are so nice. And all the people there were from DMV radio fan base that won tickets. So they're like ultimate fans. So we were just all singing along and he was struggling with lyrics to one part we were all just like helping out it was so cool and he looked so good and he was so good on guitar and um it was cool to watch him he's awesome he looks great he's never looked better he's never looked better he's's never looked better. He's awesome. And Emil and my mom and Hala, who I brought, are all in the back. And I texted them being like, I can't leave this seat.

If I leave, I can't get in front of the front row. I'm not even supposed to be here. The security guards are all being nice because they just saw me on stage. So they're giving me a pass. But I have no right to be where I am. And I'm crouched down because I don't want to make a scene of it. And so I texted Emil, I can't come back there like I can't give up the spot go on without me and so they just hung out and danced upstairs just like danced upstairs um but then after crush

which is my favorite song of all time um I was like I can I can go find holla and dance with her so I went to the very back after that because i was like i gotta spend some of this concert with my friend and we danced to crash and don't drink the water and um and some other songs don't breathe the air yeah don't yes and uh and as we're dancing this guy comes up to holla because hollow's dancing the whole time and i guess he noticed and gives her one of dave's guitar picks oh my god same as you and taylor which i knew was a dave guitar pick because i was up close and i saw the guitar picks he was using and i was very fascinated because i use a very light pick and i was like those look like light picks it was a light pick i and emile of all people was the one to turn me on to light picks because he is a beginning guitar player too and he was like you haven't heard about light picks don't do the heavy ones

use the light ones and i'm like light ones changed my life and my dad always makes fun of me for using light ones because you're not a real guitar player if you use light picks except dave uses them because i got one because holla gave it to me because she's a great friend she gave me the guitar pick and then the guy comes back again and gives Hala a set list. What? And we go, who is this guy? And so then Hala runs after him to be like, who are you, mystery man? And it's not a big

place, so she could. And he's like, I'm Dave's vocal coach. And he's just one of these nice guys that takes it upon himself to find little things, trinkets, to give them to fans at the shows, which is must be such a fun thing to do I did it at a Wilco show when I had a an extra set list I was like I want to find the biggest Wilco fan that is going to freak out to get the set list because I had the other half of the set

list because it was printed twice and I knew I was decided I was to have it and so I was like who am I going to give it to it's such a fun thing to like pick someone out so he picked out Hala because she was dancing like crazy and I go go, oh my God, he's his vocal coach. I go, Hala, wait, go tell him. I, some might, someday might need him. And so she ran back to him and was like, do you know who Nikki Glaser is? And he was like, no.

And she was like, once again, let me go get her. So I ran over and talked to him. And I was like, I know I am way out of like, I'm a comedian. I was on Masked Singer. I did pretty well in that. I was like, i have a vocal coach already but who knows down the line what's gonna happen i was like i do not deserve you but

i can afford you i was like i have the means to get to hire you if at any point um you'd be into that down the line and he was like well you don't want to mix up vocal coaches because they all have different ways of teaching so you want to stick with one. And I was like, that's a really good point. Exclusivity rears its ugly head again. You're right. So anyway, I got his number and then I'll tell you what happened when we met Dave Matthews after this. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and

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From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding.

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are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe.

With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade, and I called to ask how I was doing. She was like, oh dad, all you were doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And slumflower.

What turns me on is when a man sends me money. Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money like i feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money i'm like oh my god it's go time you actually sent it listen to the good mom's bad choices podcast every wednesday on the black effect podcast network the i heart radio app apple podcast or wherever you go to find your podcast so then after the show i am not wanting to meet dave because i'm like he's had a long day the show he was exhausted during the show he would get done with the song be like oh and he was like kept acknowledging that he was tired but he was also awesome because he was so tired he was a

little bit loopy and people would like yell out things and he would get distracted he was talking way more than he ever talks which in the dave matthews um universe we call that dave speak so he was dave speaking more than ever which is just when dave talks in between songs and he was being hilarious and he was so fun and he was just loose and um it was great and but i still was very conscious of as someone who's been on the other side of meet and greets even emile and i were talking about what dave was possibly doing backstage based on what i'm always doing in between the show and the meet and greet he was like he's probably putting back on his high heels and stuffing his face with like a rice cake and smoking a joint and being like yeah i'll be on a second like how many are there like okay that's

cool so do you do you think there's gonna be more than that or like okay and can you tell them to have their phones ready? Like, we were just like predicting what he would be doing. Even though I enjoy meet and greets very, very much there. I was just like, I just don't want to make this anymore for him. So I was like, I'll probably just not do one because I don't need to. And then the guys came over and were like, here's your passes. We were like, why?

And we shot. And it wasn't a ton of people. It was like 25 people. And most everyone else was drunk i was like i'm not drunk i'm not gonna talk his head off i'm going to be so respectful and just get in there and get out i'm not gonna tell him a story about how i love him and in high school and ari ari the guy from the radio show who i introduced him with he knew about my holla story of holla telling me telling i'd never meet him and he was like you got to tell him that I'm gonna tell him that we'll bring up holla and I go Ari

you listen to me right now you are not telling him that story you are not because Ari was just tired and overworked and I was like and Ari even said to me shout out to Ari before the meet and greet I was like I really don't think I want to stay for the meet and greet. He's had a long day. I think he should just like, and he goes, what? What? No, we are not just typical meet and greet.

We are. It's not, we're not just like fans. And I go, yes, we are. We're actually worse because at least people who are fans and get a meet and greet,

they know where they're a fan. Dave is the talent. We have this weird thing where we're like we're not really like them we're like actually cool and we just want to like hang out with you which is so much worse than just a normal person being like nice to meet you i'm a big fan that is so much better than someone being like i'm there's always someone at my meet and greets who waits in the back of the line and we've called him out before on the podcast who thinks they're special and is like i don't even want a picture i like just want to like have a conversation with you and i'm like that's so much worse than a picture they always

start with a nag they're like i don't even care really about you like you know what i mean yes i don't even i guess like this just came with my ticket this meet and greet like it's not even a big deal to me i but I just like, I am not going to behave like those people crying to meet you. I'm like, Oh yeah. God forbid you act enthusiastic right now. Or industry people that are just like,

they walk back to the green room with you. You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah that's the that's what i said to ari i go you're you and i are worse you especially because you are convinced that you're on the same but industry is convinced they're on the same level as him and you hang out longer and you don't realize no offense to ari he's awesome and

everyone who works at serious at that level is a great hang and i had a good time with them but dave doesn't want to hang out with you there's just no way after a show he wants to hang out with his family but I'm so glad you you stayed because I'm sure Dave's clocked you in the audience it was like oh my god Nikki Glaser no he did it there was no clocking I there was no eye contact which I liked I don't did you know who you were when you were in science I'm like don't distract um wait I just wanted to say people that bring science even when taylor swift walked to the edge of the stage and was singing i didn't want to like wave at her or go i love you because she's singing a song and i don't want to distract her from her song right so all i'm trying to do when

she walked to the lip of the stage was sing the lyrics that were what she was singing so that i would help her in some way and not distract right and so dave is on stage and i'm i don't know some of the songs because some of the new stuff i don't know so i was trying not to make eye contact there was no icon to to be made um but there was a girl with a sign and i'm just like stop don't hold signs like just like little signs you know like i don't even know what it said but it bothered me um but it's all sweet i mean we're all just fans trying to get by but um so i did i wanted to wait in the back of the line because i wanted to i said i want to go last because i know the feeling

of when the last person you have to meet no matter how good the meet and greet was the last it's like seeing your car after a hike you're like i'm about to get to go take off my shoes so i wanted to be that last person you just want to have a conversation not a picture yeah i wasn't that guy i wasn't the guy being like i wanted to take longer with you it was like i wanted to be the fastest last person ever i wanted to like buck the system and so but ari was like no just get up here you are not gonna wait till the last person you're Nikki Glaser and I'm like I do not do not say that he was a little mover and a shaker so he pulls me to the front and um and I just like walk up today they're like it's Nikki Glaser and they like lead me to him and um and I just go hi Dave I'm the voice of dmb radio and he goes i can't even remember what he said but based on the footage it was something like i know who you are come here and he like

grabs me to give me a hug for anyone who goes in for the hug first for anyone who does jujitsu who listens to this podcast and i know you do he did an arm drag on her. She reached her arm out to shake his hand and he like pulled her in and hugged, gave her this huge bear hug. Hug, huge hug, lasted long. Three to four seconds. I saw the video when I first, when I saw it, my first thought was, that was a genuine hug.

That was a genuine hug. Genuine hug. He knew how much I mattered to him and he was very, it was, it was so awesome. And it was just like, I was just trying to like, I mean,

you don't understand. Like I, I don't, I don't want to be indecent in talking about this, but he had much to do with my sexual awakening and my whole sexual identity. And like everything was just, it was, I got a rice pellet in my ass yesterday too to like help with

my hormones to make me horny again a rice yeah not up my ass holla thought i got it up my ass no that would have horned me up yeah no it's like the size of a rice pellet and it has hormones in it and it cost me 2500 i thought i was gonna get for free until they were like, it's $2,500. And I was like, I can't. So it's like, you put it in your butt. Don't mean it. And it's like, what's that called?

When you get medicine in your butt? It's not a suppository because that's up your ass. They cut her butt cheek. They cut my butt cheek and slided it. I had no idea. Does that hurt?

And by the way, I asked no, well, they put lidocaine first. So that hurt. A shot of lidocaine in my ass really, really hurt. And then they carve your ass open. I had no idea that hurts and by the way i asked no yeah well they put lidocaine first so that hurt a shot of lidocaine in my ass really really hurt and then they carve your ass open i had no idea i thought it was just like a little like they just shoot it in with a um you know a shot yeah yeah like you're getting a vaccine and um i had no idea that it was like a minor surgery and it was no stitches or

anything and i was out the door in five minutes but i have a huge bandage on my butt that's like bleeding a lot and but in two weeks i'm supposed to start feeling the testosterone wait is this done by a doctor like they know you actually need yeah at a clinic okay yeah i was i did blood work back in december and she was like you have zero testosterone whoa what do i do and she was like well we zero testosterone and I was like what do I do and she was like well we have this pellet thing and my mom knows about the pellet

she was like oh my friend Beth did the pellet and it changed her life and the pellet I think I have to get it every six months though and it's $2,500

yeah who cares is this the reason for your recent spate of it's nothing your drop spell or whatever you want to call it

the testosterone is the lack of testosterone is absolutely so that is humping everything i heard from my friend like it made her so horny well i can't wait i mean maybe but this dave thing i was that awakened so i was i felt rejuvenated because he looked so good. And he was so masculine and singing songs about love. I felt a love in my heart and a resurgence of my womanhood. He's like an animal.

That video you sent, the girls chat, he's sweating and like... And you're just like, I cannot not imagine what this person looks like in bed. He's clearly an animal and he's always i just love the way he plays guitar yeah he does his wrist is like so loose oh the way he played guitar i was obsessed with it looked like his hand was made of jelly like and my hands always like and it made me realize you just have to be very like casual i was studying i was it was really cool to be up close as someone who's just trying to learn how to play rhythmic guitar um and and

study him and like see that what i thought what his finger stylings on the fretboard are insane and his fingers do things that like my fingers would take years to learn those shapes and be able to stretch in those ways. But his strumming, very simple, very cool. And like, um, almost like he's playing drums,

but like, I always thought he was like so intricate, but I was studying it from the angle I was studying it from. And I was like, Oh, it's actually very simple strumming, but the rest of the things he's doing along the fretboard are very, um,

very complex. So I was, you know, heartened to see some of that. And I'm so excited to attempt some of those songs today. Because I was like, oh, I think I can get some of these. This was the second time you've met him, correct? Yeah. So how did it compare with the first time? I mean, a thousand times better.

Because the first one, it was just, it wasn't ideal. I just said too much. And like kind of cried a little bit and i i and then i was in a room alone with him for a listening session and the whole funky you know this funky story i think i've told this before but i just he offered to play a song next on from his album we were at a listening party in a small room so i've been closer to him than i was last night four feet from him i was one foot from him during for an hour listening to his new album five years ago and four years ago and yeah he was like we got one more song to play you guys want

to hear something you know a little sad or something a little funky and i've been holding in my like my energy the whole time because i'm just trying to keep it cool because i'm losing my mind and it just decided to come out in that moment and i was like funky and i said it way too loud and it like hurt everyone's ears in the room like it was a small conference room and baba buoy who was there from the howard stern show he behind me reaches forward and just puts a calming hand on my shoulder to like just sedate me a little bit because he knew that my energy was like weirding everyone out in the room and then dave went on and did not play a funky song no one else volunteered a suggestion he gave us

two options and he played the other one um and then i couldn't have that be the last time he remembered me so afterwards i followed him out and was like i always knew i was gonna meet you i that's what you're the reason i ever did comedy because i wanted to get in the same sphere as you and i said the word sphere a lot it was like it was humiliating he just seemed like overwhelmed by it and didn't know who i was and this was much better because then after we met after we took a picture together and then my mom gets in the picture and he takes a picture with her and me. And then at the end, it was like all the serious people. Not that I'm affiliated with them, but I am the voice of Dave Matthews Band Radio.

So they were like, Nikki, get in too. And I was on the edge and they were like, no, Nikki, get in the middle. And I was like, I'll crouch. And Dave crouched down next to me and put his face lush with mine. So I had Dave matthews face touching out of here right next to it like we were it was like the most into like and i i was able to in that moment stop time and just realize that i am millimeters from kissing this man it was just like it was very thrilling for a young nicki glazer a 17 year old nicki glazer back then of just like like our very thrilling for a young Nikki Glaser a 17 year old Nikki Glaser back then of just like like our faces are touching like this is the closest you can get to someone and

we held it for a while because of the picture and he was being just being funny because I was the only one crouching so he was like I'll crouch with her and just face next to mine it was so and I was like I mean we left my mom and Hala and Emil. We couldn't get over it. We were like, that was the most insane. It was just so fun. And to see Taylor Swift and Dave Matthews in one week that close, it took a lot of effort. I have to say a lot of flying, a lot of sleeplessness,

a lot of money being spent, a lot of money not being made. But it was obviously so worth it. And I just have to do more things like this I love going to shows I love doing things I'm scared of well the part of the story you left out was that when Dave hugged you that close he whispered in your ear funky

I remember you I remember he did say nice to see you you know the LA thing and so I was like, no way. I think he just knows me. He contextualizes me in some way other than that. There's no way he remembers me from Funky and Spheres.

There's no way. I wasn't the same person. And he would not have been excited to see that person again. Funky Spheres sounds like a name of a Dave song. It's their new album. Oh my God. Anyway, that's my Dave story story sorry for a short podcast today guys this is all we can give you but we'll be back next week with full-length episodes don't even

worry about it we love you thank you for listening come see us this weekend in sarasota florida west palm beach and we got a lot more tour dates um just announced i'm going to pure chicago peoria new jersey calgary napa wheatland california where the fuck is that san francisco san diego Chicago, Peoria, New Jersey, Calgary, Napa, Wheatland, California. Where the fuck is that? San Francisco, San Diego, Riverside, Lawrence, Kansas, Boston, Massachusetts, Baltimore, Maryland, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, Rehoboth, Atlantic City, Portland, Oregon, Ramah, Ontario, Munhall, Pennsylvania, Detroit, Michigan, Denver, Colorado. Holy fuck.

You can get those tickets now. NikkiGlazer.com. I can't wait to see you all there. Thank you for listening. Don't be ca- And just check off. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right.

I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and

stay informed listen on the iheart radioRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast. And now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers.

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