The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #349 Systems Are Screwed, Sexy Lingerie, Traveling with Friends & Slaughtering of Souls!

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

The gals are joined by Chris Convy of The Courtney Show also known as Nikki's lover. Brian is out this week as he starts his road trip to getting hitched. Anya was able to navigate bureaucratic hell as she prepares for her wedding. Somehow but not surprisingly they get into a conversation about dying at the hands of your partner and videos you'd find on the Reddit/r/Lastimages. They ask if guys truly like sexy lingerie. Nikki Anya and Chris reflect back on the time they spent together in Europe. Chris confronts Nikki about how she deals with travel. Nikki shares an epiphany she had at therapy. In the Reddit Dump Nikki shares her saves about humans on a hamster wheel, gossiping and fading beauty. In the Final Thought Nikki shares a text she got in her family thread that was one of her worst fears.  P.S. Enjoy some of our pre-show banter! --- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast. Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch

your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts people my people what's up this is quest Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far.

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What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe,

and Cord Jefferson. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. There's a bunch of good pizza roll sketches.

There's one on SNL where Bill Hader hits the pizza. And that's just a pizza one, but he hits the pizza. Oh, the one with Kristen. And then it crashes on the ground. Yeah, it's like, just eat it. It's pizza. It's normal.

Okay, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. I think Chris's mic needs to be raised a little bit. Or that. No, mine's turned up because I'm trying to be quieter. Turned up? I'll turn mine down.

I just hear him. I feel like I hear the room more than I hear Chris. Okay, Chris talking. This is Chris. This is Chris. I am talking. Okay, that sounds great. I move it closer.

I can hear a little bit of a... Oh, yeah, that might be the buzz from the light. But I do take that out. I can eliminate it. All right. Okay. All right, let's all just clap for that camera. In three, two, one.

Okay. That's not supposed to sync up at all is it i don't know how they do it yeah i don't know what the purpose because when i'm doing audio i don't it would not help me because we don't do it at the same time but right it works for kelly all right kelly go get him kelly i think i'm cal i'm gonna guess for Kelly, it's a visual cue to erase everything before that. Because it's like a wave. Oh, yeah. And the studio cameras to line everything up with the three cameras.

Okay. That checks out. Probably not exactly close. I'm going to leave this in, by the way, before the show. So everyone can hear our pre-show discussion. Oh, yeah. We accidentally left in some pre-show talk the other day and people liked it. I mean, it was a joint effort. We were pre-show discussion oh yeah we accidentally left in some pre-show talk the other day and people we i we i mean it was a joint effort we were pre-show talking so we'll leave in the talk

about kelly but nothing before that don't worry okay welcome to kelly chat okay in three two one here's anya the nikki glazer podcast here's nikki hello here i am it's nikki glazer podcast welcome to the show i'm nikki glazer i'm here in studio with my boyfriend i love her nope i mean is that not what we do love each other yeah we do that's what i mean by that okay yeah yeah okay his name is chris convey you can hear him on the courtney show podcast and on the courtney show every day from 6 to 10 in st louis missouri or on the arch app wherever you get your apps don't go that's how i listen you don't need to go do that i yeah i listen on the arch app there are a few besties bestie dan oh really hey text in it's great oh sweet see people

it's it's my favorite show to listen to so um i understand why people would love it and then we have anya marina who's in new york you can download the onyap and listen to 24 7 live now you just sound sexy And then Noah is in Arizona Did you just say you just told yourself That you sound sexy? Yeah, I'm talking to myself No, it's because Nikki's doing a whole vibe this morning Oh, okay

I just went to a voice lesson and he told me That I need to stop talking like a St. Louisan Who's like, always up here with nasal Like, it's really bad for my My voice is in hell right now. It's in distress. I have to cancel all of my plans and the only thing I can do,

the only time I get to talk is right now, today. How do you know when your voice is better? Brian's not here, by the way. He's getting married. He's driving to Colorado. So just in case you're wondering where Frange is. What'd you say, babe? Well, I actually liked Noah's question too,

but I can jump off of that one. wondering where frange is um what'd you say babe well i actually liked noah's question too but i i can i can jump off of that one i forget i forget what both of them were just answer them that's all we're asking for he can tell because is that the question how he can my question was how do you know when your voice is getting better oh when you can do that it's getting better um when it doesn't hurt and it doesn't feel like when i sing right now it sounds like sandpaper and like every note it's like i have to reach up to the note and the note won't just like start where i want it to like i have to like i have to push when i'm not pushing to sing so do you think when you had that surgery they should have

put you through some kind of therapy to reteach you how to sing and talk. It's insane that they didn't. Yes. Is it, though? I'm starting to think all systems are fucked up. Like, I'm trying to get married, and it's so stupid. Nikki knows all about this and is probably so sick of it. But we can't get married.

We can't get a marriage license unless you have two birth certificates, one for each potential spouse. And then if anyone's been married and divorced in the past, you have to provide a divorce decree. Not a divorce certificate. Both exist. A decree. Handed down from the king. In the court. See if you can get a parliament in London.

The only way to get a divorce decree in new york city one of the biggest buzz bustling and you would think functional cities in the world is to write a fucking letter in the post and you know put it through the post and a postal money order for a mystery amount and you have to provide the index number who would know that and the exact date of your divorce who would know that and you can't get it otherwise you have to call 3-1-1 you keep getting hung up on the whole phone system is jacked and I was finally like let's just drive there let's drive two hours to Brooklyn and get the stupid divorce decree because we're trying to get married in like three weeks and the whole system is broken everything is everything's

everything sucks particularly in new york you're just like how is this place functioning this doesn't make any sense i don't understand how everything's paper and you just go to and everything's so slow it takes that's why i don't i'm scared of travel i'm scared of losing my passport because i'll have to go wait in line somewhere and just depend on this woman who is grumpy to put my paper in the right stack you have to mail because I just had to do this with my passports you have to mail them in and you just hope that somebody gets it and takes care of the paperwork and you get your passport back and yet if somebody murdered someone we would have their divorce decree in 30 seconds you know what I mean we'd be like oh the index number is 36109 podcast investigation

you should murder matt yeah that's that's the only way to get anything done now is to like be like how does noah gonna get her passport and have a whole podcast series about it those are the only people getting things done yes you're so right and um because even i'm sure you googled a million things of how to do this. It reminded me of this woman who just, it was in the news like a month ago, she killed her husband with fentanyl. And then they found like all of her Google searches,

which are like how much fentanyl to kill my husband. Like literally like that specific, like a man that's 180 pounds, six foot one. Snores when he sleeps won't let me this new guy I just met and want to move in with um and then she's like then it goes how to clear your search history which is so funny and there's others of like how long how much does if if um his death certificate says unknown reasons can you still get your life insurance because clearly it was like still the autopsy was pending and she's still

trying to get that money it was like it's just so funny and humiliating for these things to be read out in court and that she's gonna have to like sit there and witness them and if you murdered someone i was thinking about what would i do i'd go to the library and google it no you have to you have to like you have to to use a computer at a library no to use a computer at a library you have to have an account and sign in you can't just go got caught he went to the library oh no he sent it from his church disc drive and they they found that he saved it on a disc that was all the data from that disc the floppy disc he like sent in a hard drive disc and they traced that back to his church computer but these people are so stupid but what i'm sorry i don't mean to victim blame but what a fucking moron marrying a woman who would kill you.

Is that rude? I think it's probably rude. No, it is rude. If you are with someone that is that stupid to Google how to murder you and then Google about your life insurance policy, you married a fucking moron. And you had a baby with this moron? She would feed you drinks in bed?

And he even told his friends, I think my wife is poisoning me. Yeah. You're an idiot. You set yourself up to be killed. You should have done. I'm sorry to victim blame, but I'm blaming a little bit here.

Well, nothing's more humiliating than dying. That's like the hands of the woman that no, just it's humiliating. I mean, dying is, you couldn't figure out how to live. Poor Logan.

Roy died in a toilet. Oh yeah. So did Tyrion Lannister's dad. Really? I mean, I think a lot of people probably die in there. It's a lot of grunting and getting up. And you're alone. So if you need help, you're on your own, kid.

I want to die in a dream. But I'm kind of mad at this guy. I mean, I want to die dreaming. Why are you mad at this guy? I'm mad at this guy. I mean, I want to die dreaming. Why are you mad at this guy? I'm mad at this guy. You die in Matt's dreams all the time. Because he married a moron, probably because she was like hot. And it's just like, be smarter.

Marry someone who, if they murder you, is going to do it. But that's everyone that's been murdered by their spouse, male or female. They all murdered. They all married someone who was going to murder them. You've got to be sharper. Every single person. Did you see the most disturbing video going around in the last month? If you didn't see this, you've been under a rock.

I know you've seen it because you're on the same Reddit as I am. Who are you thinking about? The most tragic thing you've ever seen. The worst way to die imaginable. I can't even hear this. This is a trigger warning no no no no it's not i have no idea no you guys can stomach this it's not gruesome the kid who jumped off i can't the cruise and the cruise is oh i saw that with the shark please tell me that's an ai generated like no that everyone that said it was a shark fin he probably did eventually get eaten by sharks, whether he drowned and then they ate him.

But that little thing you see is actually the rope in the water next to the flotation device. No, I think... Anya, are you talking about the shark? I think it was in Turkey. There's a kid just swimming... Next to a shark? Yeah, and the shark takes him down.

I haven't seen that. Oh, we saw that. I saw that down i haven't seen that that was yours no that was the one we watched right remember when the guy gets eaten when we saw him bobbing around we talked about that was years ago was this recent there was like who let the dogs out playing in the background there was like some crazy song playing in the background you're like how is this song playing turkey one i think it was in turkey i could i could probably find the video although i'm one of the kid this kid was 18 just graduated and they went on like a booze cruise and it was like a pirate ship theme he jumps off a cruise in the middle of the night on a dare and then they have footage of

him swimming like and you see what you think is a shark tail but it's not it's like the rope to the thing but there are sharks in there because it's night in the Caribbean. And he's never seen again because the boat keeps going. And this was like a smaller little offshoot of a boat. It was a booze cruise type thing, so it's a smaller ship. Yeah, it looks like a catamaran. It had some nets on it. Yeah, it was smaller than a cruise ship because I was reading all about this and how many people jump off these things thinking it'll just be easy that there's lifeboats there's those little you know lifesavers that they

throw out to you but this pitch blackout and it takes seven miles to turn around did you hear that seven miles from so when you start breaking to turn around so then you are seven miles away and then you go back and by that time a current has taken you miles in the other direction so you are you are fucked if you jump off a cruise ship wait so i have a question for you yeah are you more mad at how much his friends hated him or at him for being stupid enough to take i'm not mad at the kid i think that this is a drinking problem it's like it's my argument about i'm not going to get into it but rape on college campus is more of a drinking problem than a rape problem, but that could get me canceled, so I won't go into it. But people do things when they're drunk that they would never ever do if they weren't drinking.

And this kid is 18, he's wasted, he's trying to impress girls, someone dares him to jump off the thing. He's never really been the guy to do anything wacky in his life. Is he not? No, I'm painting a picture of like who i think this kid is like you get a little alcohol in you and suddenly you are like i have a personality i'm comfortable around my friends i'm the guy that i always wanted to be and he jumped off and the problem was i was thinking about it because this ship probably didn't take seven miles to

turn around it could probably turn around quickly the problem being though he is on a ship with tons of drunken kids music playing even if they turn the music off you hear the kids in the video they're all screaming he jumped bye motherfucker bye like oh my god he jumped if he's screaming for help unless they quiet the whole ship they are not going to be able to hear him out there unless and to quiet 18 year old drunk kids hundreds of them down you have no chance of screaming he's screaming into nothing and they never found him it's too sad it's too sad

when you're 18 you kind of think you're invincible and you're just clowning around with your friends that could be almost any 18 year old guy who goes on spring break with his friends anyone it could happen so many of the comments in reddit were like this is makes me not want to have kids or like this makes me fear for my two-year-old already like you can't really control them once

they get past that age when they go in their first spring break with their high school friends you know they're gonna drink and when you drink you get so fucking dumb but even when you don't drink if you're just clowning with your friends like you know we've all jumped off the back of a boat a few times just not at midnight and you know like 2 a.m in the caribbean with your friends and that's where the drunkenness comes in is like this will be i did this earlier today it's the same or like being just showing off for a girl. I mean, I just, but he might've just done it to make his friends laugh.

Yeah. He might've been gay and showing off for a guy. Like, I don't know, but he was, yeah, he could have been just a guy, but I think it's, I think everything is,

I don't think it's related. It doesn't have to be related to having sex. Yeah. I think everything is. Wasn't it the graduation day with the guys so it's like we're graduating we're done yeah daring him is celebrating and the thing that kills me is that it took so long to tell someone who was you know navigating the boat the captain or whatever to turn around like that's also another level of peer pressure is like okay who's going to be the

one that's like hey we got it like there's an emergency that probably took 10 minutes 15 minutes yeah for somebody to realize that that moment that this is serious yes and we got to do something about it i would have been that girl that wanted to tell but didn't want to be the one that like ruined the fun if it really was not a big deal you know what i mean like nikki told and now we're all in trouble and we have to turn it around when he just jumped off he could have just come back in it wasn't a big deal you're like constantly navigating those little things yeah wayne like the yeah is this worth me saying anything who was the whistleblower i wonder um probably the literal with like there were whistles going off like when he jumped off it was a it was everyone was freaking out it's

such it's a sad video but i like to watch it because i don't know i follow this reddit account called last images it's my favorite oh my god and it's it was on there a bunch and it's just the last image of the person before they died i don't't follow it, but when I come across it, I click on it. It's my favorite subreddit. It's like, man, it's sad. What's like a jackpot last image? That. But there's also ones of like.

There's also sweet ones. Oh, there's sweet ones with like grandparents on their deathbed. And like, or there's, you know, this is the last time my cousin, you know, he killed himself. But this was a time where we were happy. It was the last time I saw him kind of thing. But the ones that are the best in my opinion, best with quotes are like, there was this one oh my god, this was in the news recently. You can find it

if you Google it. A guy clearly was having an affair didn't want to be married to his wife anymore. She's pregnant. He brings her on a hike up a fucking mountain. She doesn't want to go on. She was scared of heights. She was just doing it for him classically scared of heights everyone in her family knew it goes up to the top of this crazy rocky craggy ridge and he pushes her off but before he does that they take a warm sweet selfie together and then it later came out and then he

you know cries fake cries, she slipped and fell. She's so far down that they can't even find her or hear her. Like, she's so dead. What a psycho. And there was also another last picture of them. The last picture is literally him taking a selfie and her in the background closer to the edge. And it's right before. So he could have proof of, like, we're on a fun hike.

Like, this guy stupidly planned and i don't blame her but i kind of i'm also like don't you sense your husband is a little bit wackadoo and you're going up don't get don't be a ledge head right now don't try to be like if your husband is acting weird and like or your wife and you guys aren't really close anymore, don't drink what they force on you, okay? And also don't go to a top of a mountain with them. Don't do things that are out of your comfort zone. Right. Because they could kill you. They're actually most likely to kill you.

There's some statistic that I've quoted in my standup, but if you get murdered as a woman, it's like 90% chance that your boyfriend or husband did it. Right. They don't even look anywhere else at first. It's obviously going to be one of these guys. Isn't that crazy? That's insane.

So just be on, be on a look on the lookout, but not an actual look. But I think for a lot of the people that are in that situation, what happens is they, they're like in some sort of horrible cycle of abuse. And so they have to do certain things. I just listened to that.

What is it? The J.K. Rowling. Yes. Podcast. Yes. And even she, you know, early in the podcast, she talks about her background. She was caught in a thing. What do you mean?

Caught in a cycle of abuse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So her, her like husband at the time, like had the keys to the house and like, she couldn't even get in or out of her house without, without like his permission. Yeah. It was JK Rowling. It was JK Rowling.

Like a strong ass bitch we know. Like, yes, I'm. So he might've been like, we're going to take this hike. And like, she was just like,

well, what, I guess I have to do this hike. How many hikes have I been on with you where I think, this could be the end of me? And I hope it is. I thought you were going to say, I hate hiking. I could just push him.

And I'll never have to go on a hike again. Matt's always edging up to the edge. And I'm like, get away from there. And I get my little vaginal wink, whatever it's called. Some bestie sent it to me. Anytime anyone I love, Chris is like describing a painful or scary situation I get this weird thing now in my vagina that is like it's almost like a hiccup or like a feeling like a like being at the top of a roller coaster where you're like it's like a terrible feeling and i now it happens constantly it like

started 10 years ago maybe seven years ago i don't know why it just never happened before but he always gets close to the ledge i'm like stop stop my vagina and then like hikers walk by us i feel that way just hearing about him getting close to a ledge yeah it does something somatically to my body yeah like let me just it. Let me see where it goes. It's like my stomach goes up in my like abdomen or up in my ribs and then my throat clenches.

So yes. Do you ever look at things on Reddit and you'll see some guy climbing a tower and you just go like just a little picture of it will send

you don't have that height thing. Well no I don't have a height thing but today I mean you have a height problem. Today I said You're not scared of mean, you have a height problem. Today, I said. You're not scared of heights because you want them so bad for your body. I feel like if I get high up on something, I'll take some of that height. It'll rub off on you.

You're short. Ish. Whenever I say you're short on stage people always later when they see you are like he's not short and I'm like

yeah but er than me yes you know what are you five, eight and a half no no no no no I'm five, seven

and three quarters okay okay if I'm really if you're pushing it in a yoga class I'm stretching it out I'm not slouching. All right.

All right. We'll be back. All right. We need to take a break, but we'll be back after this. Short break. Okay. Cause Chris needs to take one.

We called a short break. Okay. We'll be right back. 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money.

We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year, offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt or you've got a sky high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show,

ears edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors. It's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow. your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness and we want this to stop. Wow. Very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative

journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please.

Because at the center of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in.

It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction.

Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community,

and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back after our short break. Wait, what were you going to say, Chris, about your stature or whatever?

Oh, I don't know. You were just saying something about like, if I do this. Oh, that break was so long. Those commercials were so good, I got distracted. It was literally a millisecond, you. Oh, man. You know, speaking of things that just skipped over.

No, this morning I was listening to Chris's radio. I don't know. I used to get those. Speaking of things that just skipped over. No. No. This morning I was listening to Chris's radio. I don't know. I used to get those. I got those for literally seven years. You're like, oh, I know. They were not pretty panties. But that makes me, wait a second, tangential.

What panties do you, do you even care about like underwear on a lady and a lady meaning me like and you don't answer it if it makes you uncomfortable no i don't think it's something that really i think it only occurs to me when it's either extreme right right whether it's like oh this is awesome or this is disgusting terrible yeah you've never been someone to be like, I love this because I've never worn things like that. I mean, I know what gets you going. It's things. First of all, tan lines. And then that's why whenever I get a spray tan, I always make sure I have it.

If I wasn't dating Chris, I would do no tan lines because why would you need them? But I know that they just like, because they're the first thing as a young boy that you see that's like, she is, there's something that's like, she is on, there's something that shouldn't, there's something naughty about this. I don't know. I don't know. It's like,

it does something to you. It makes your vagina. That's cool. Like you was talking about. I don't love that. It does something. Yeah, it really is.

I'm sorry about that. I have a question. I'm so glad you brought this up because I went to Victoria's Secret for the first time in like a decade. I'm trying to redo her wardrobe yeah she had a checklist I had a Pinterest board it's like what women essentials women need into their 40s or something like that was it that just like what like just closet essentials that all women should have and i'm still trying to figure that out some of it was like a cape and i was like oh my god your book of of hoaxes uh-huh it like thinks you're turning into a spinster okay are you from romania like that's what dracula like every romanian has to have a dracula cape

she's from tel aviv oh really well my my parents are from romania oh gotcha gotcha gotcha good job chris hey see i listen to that sorry okay i have a very i was just stunned so i go into victoria's secret it's great there's like a sale going on i'm digging through underwear and i look up and i see a lot of men in the store with their girlfriends the girlfriends are showing the panties some of the guys are just like walking around independently and i'm just kind of like a little bit disturbed by it i like that they should maybe be leashed. Have you ever seen those pictures on Reddit of the men walking around the store

with their hands behind their back? No. Like there's like a type of guy that when they're like bored and their wife be shopping, they're just like walking around like pacing. That's so funny because that's the look I want to give when my mom used to get mad at me when she would be shopping and she'd go, I know you want to

leave. I can tell by your body. And I'd be like, what should I do? She was like, the way your arms are crossed. So I should have been doing that because it does look like I'm comfortable. But it's also such a sign of like, I'm not like jerking off anymore. Like to these mannequins. It's a Victoria's Secret.

You know what I mean? like if they're Victoria's Secret they're just like oh this is just just supporting my wife it does seem like some guys are supporting Jeff Andre I'm not here

because I want to be here yeah yes yes so what what is going so do you think those guys are enjoying that process or are they being dragged

what did it look like to you I really couldn't tell it did kind of look like they were enjoying it I think they like it and I only say this because I think a guy that doesn't care about underwear like truly would not

love it there like I couldn't drag Matt into a situation like that he couldn't care less I spent so much once on lingerie and he was just he didn't even notice at all and i'm like this is this was like three hundred dollars this stupid get up that i'm like that's why i only buy really the sluttiest things i have are like from amazon for seven dollars because they'll get torn off right away and they're they're just to look like really slutty for a second i've got one that i've been sitting on for a while literally literally sitting on it's not it's not hanging in there it's um i don't even want you near it at this point

um i've got so many infections but um no it's yeah then i just i like that you don't really care about that stuff even though i was saying the other day like if i want to just turn you on for whatever reason like i know exactly what like earlier today i was like fixing the thing over here and i knew just like arching my back on all fours putting my butt in the air is gonna is gonna just make him notice like a little tiny t-shirt with like and put like you know sucking in my stomach small small waist, big ass up in the air, like, Oh, I'm just working on this thing and I'm stuck. I can't get it to work and I can't get out of this position or classically. And I've said this before, just take out a tit casually and

be funny about it. Yeah. And just go like, it always gets a laugh. So what should we do for dinner on Friday? Like, what do you think? And just a tit is just hanging out and at first he doesn't see it. That's always fun. Or you used to send me pictures like that too, where it was like everything about the picture was normal. You weren't trying to do anything. Yes. Like I flashed you in Munich or Stockholm.

Yeah. With the outside with, with that picture. Yeah. We're like beautiful. Like we went up to that cherry blossom tree or whatever and then we were walking down and I saw him and I just flashed him and it was thrilling.

Yeah, some flashed boobs are a fun idea. That was such a fun day walking around in Stockholm. I just saw all your photos, Chris. They're so good. They're so nice. Because it's like from a digital camera, right? Yeah, Chris bought one of those. That's the sound of it you know where it's like you turn on the flash and it goes like it's that piercing sound that dogs can hear and then yeah they're they're so classic and they

they look exactly like the 90s yeah there's a field trip in fifth really cool yeah there's some good ones in there. I know. There's so many good ones. But then there's some huge mistakes. Did you like some of them, Anya? Yes. I was like, wait, how come I'm like nostalgic for this? What, did it happen in the 90s?

It's all grainy. I'm massaging Nikki. This was two weeks ago. No recollection of ever massaging Nikki. Like, no recollection of playing piano. Yes. There's a picture where you're wearing an I Heart Oslo shirt, and I'm massaging you don't remember doing that I don't remember that either I guess it was not memorable no I'm in the massage we had a couple memorable massages there that wasn't it how are

you guys like right now looking back on that trip with like a little bit of perspective now what's your initial reaction Anya I'm really glad went. I felt lucky that I got to go and play for all those people and just do it with my best friend and her partner. I'm glad I got to know you better. I mean, we've known each other 11, 10 years, but I felt like in two weeks, I got to know you

so much better. Anya's so on board with Chris Convey. She's here in the girls' chat. She's fully endorsing Chris Convey residency. No, I mean that. That was, no, like all positive stuff. Thank you. It was hard work.

She's like, he accepts you for who you are. Yeah, like you really, he's laughing a little too hard. There's no secrets anymore with you two. Yeah, no, there's none. You noted that we tease each other a lot, and you liked that. Did I say that? I won't. Not recently, but you said it.

You're like, you're short. Ha ha. Like, like, yes, that kind of dynamic is rare, I think, in a couple where you can like roast each other pretty hard about stuff and you it's so easygoing. And yeah, I mean, yeah, you're a you have a unique lifestyle. You know, not a lot of people have your career and stuff. And Chris seems to totally roll with it. Not a lot of people could put up with it.

Great guy. Everyone's always like, I would do anything to have you be my lady. Just like guys in my DMs, just idiots. And I'm like, you couldn't handle this at all. You have no fucking clue. you see a girl who's like posing seductively with my leg out and you're like I could hit like that's not what this is this is a lot of depression and suicidal thoughts and weird food things and anxieties about other people's food things and worrying about why I'm not like this or that and comparing myself to

others there's like a lot more that goes to this than like a cool pose of me about why I'm not like this or that and comparing myself to others. There's like a lot more that goes to this than like a cool pose of me like, hey, I'm coming to your city. And like my tongue kind of hanging out, half hanging out. That's what people, that's what guys fucking think. I don't know what they project onto me, but it, it, you gotta be a certain, you're, you're, I need, I needed a special man to put up with me and I'm very grateful for it.

I think we project stuff on people all the time, but one of my favorite things that you said, do you know that movie Dangerous Minds? Do you remember that? Yeah. Well, in that movie, I think Michelle Pfeiffer comes out and she's just like,

everybody, maybe this was another movie. I might be complaining. You start with an A, right? So she tells all the students, you start with an A, you're going to have to lose this A. You know, like, so right now everybody's got an A. All A students. And so it's like, everybody's like, oh man, so this is great. Well, I liked that, like, you know, you get exposed to a lot of really like funny guys,

good looking guys tall tall guys and you know that sort of thing like you know you don't go to the same job every single day and I know all the guys you work with and you can just be like okay cool because most people that's what they deal with like their their wife or girlfriend goes to a job and then comes home and they kind of know more or less what's happening but you go out and you you just experience new people constantly and because of like you know maybe the variety of guys you've dated or all the books you've read and all the stuff that you know about people at this point all of these guys start with a d kind of you know it's like you yeah you don't think you're not looking at a guy being like he's like this guy's so yes good looking i can't wait to date him you're like what are his problems no i

and i used to do that i think i it was up until like five years ago i used to you can compare the person you're with to all these different people and or people you know relationships you see on tv and yours will always fall short because you're just seeing the perfection that these people are putting out or what they're putting on instagram and now i've realized that by being out there enough and just doing my research like you're saying and having enough friends talk about their own relationships that i project things onto that everyone you're gonna have problems with anyone's going to be shit that annoys you about everyone. And if you, there's just a, there's an immaturity dial above every man's head for me now, which is just like probably emotionally deficient. They're not, right, they're not starting with A's.

And I think they used to for me. Whereas like I would give everyone like, oh, they're amazing. And now I'm just like the the more amazing they are the more suspicious i am honestly with age we all get a little more cynical and weathered and like yeah show me show me what you got yeah yeah let's see what you got i had a boss once that was like oh sorry i'm like is it minnesota that's the show me state or is it missouri it's missouri yeah i know he was like i'm the show me state so you know what show me what you got and i was so cynical i had just gotten fired from like three radio stations in a row because we got bought out not fired but like

we all got laid off and i was just like i'm not gonna show you shit i got unemployment i don't like i don't need to show you i'll work here if you want me to but i'm not he was like the nicest boss i ever had i ended up working for him for six years he was the best but i just remember him saying that like i'm the show me state come on show me what you got this job is yours if you want it wait how does that relate to what we're saying i'm not being a dick i just don't understand you're like you got you start with a d and if you want to be my boyfriend you gotta show me you don't understand you got you start with a d and if you want to be my boyfriend you gotta show me you better show me i meant she starts with a d like

she hooks up with them immediately i start right on their dick and then i work up to theirs go back down to the balls that's what you're supposed to do right what's going on up in your mind um yes i I see what you're saying. Yes, that does relate. I just feel like it's just, I don't know how people in their 20s make it through and don't constantly go for a shinier thing. But they're learning. That's what everybody's learning.

That's a good point. It takes some people longer than others. Yes. Yeah. That's what's part of. Well, I was reflecting on the Europe trip and I realized my favorite parts, and this is no indictment on any other part of the trip.

My favorite parts were the drives to the airport. Oh, man. Oh, really? Because that's when we were all like kind of hanging. I realized my thing and I'm just trying to embrace it as opposed to hate myself for it. Because I want to hate myself for it because I am unlike other people. Like I'm kind of looking forward to Brian's wedding being rainy because we'll get to stay in and play board

games and like talk as opposed to like doing more outdoorsy things that don't lend itself to the stuff that I like to do and that's just we just it's just different strokes for different folks it doesn't mean I'm a bad person that I don't like outdoorsy things as much as anything else yeah I love that too I loved like I just that's when I got to know you so well Chris like that long drive from the London remember from Heathrow to our hotel was like an hour and 20 yeah yeah so long those were my favorite and they're probably your least favorite Chris because we're like in a little like were they not fun no I threw up a couple times. I can't complain. No, I love the whole thing. I agree. I mean, I think one of my favorite parts,

because Anya and I would see each other every few weeks or years or whatever it was, or just some hang. So it was really, that was one of my favorite parts too. But I liked every, I liked almost everything. I liked the food. I liked the adventures. I liked the laziness when we could get it in. I thought it was,

I said today on the show that we have the same level of untidiness. That is so valuable. I think that really helps us both out because neither of us got mad at each other for anything that's going on in the hotel. That is so nice. I mean, I just don't, I can't, I know stories of people being like,

my wife is a mess and I can't stand it. And it's like, I just imagine being married to some guy like that who's constantly making me feel bad about messes. I would probably put up with it and then he'd murder me someday. Like, I would never put up. I couldn't do it. Look at this view. You've never made me feel bad about that is my number one thing that I'm insecure about

too. So the fact that you don't care about that and I've never I want to straighten up for you when you come over I definitely like put stuff away and think like because you're you keep your spaces nice like your house is immaculate but you're an organized sometimes yeah I mean not all the time I would say that I'm similar to to what you saw in the hotel rooms like sometimes it was perfect and sometimes it was definitely not yeah that's nice though to just not feel because I Because I know there's so many couples out there where it's like, what is this doing here? Why don't you put this away?

It's also like we don't live together. I know, we'll see that. Me and Matt. That's me and Matt. I'm always like, when we break into song when we're angry at each other, there's been this fucking reel-to-reel machine that's just sitting in our dining room that Chris brought over. Chris, Matt's's best friend who's his bandmate and um our dining room chris hate you or matt hate you our dad is best he loves you our dining room is the area where

shit just accumulates for months there was like nikki merch in the dining room and finally i'm like can we please move nikki's merch the basement? This is how the divorce decree got lost, by the way. Exactly. Anya was like, why does this divorce pay notification here on our mantle? It was on our mantle. This is bad. No. Juju.

I think that's probably a bad. Her name was on our mantle. First, it was under our bed. So Anya was like, get out of here. I'm like, why is this under our bed? And then he threw it away. And now they're calling, they have to go drive down to Brooklyn. I don't remember saying to throw it away.

Yeah, I'm like, can we not have your ex-wife's name displayed on the mantel? Yeah. I mean, I agree with you. It would irritate me. Every week, there's a new, weird, huge thing in the dining room. It's just the room that collects new stuff. And I'm always like, what is this weird star machine thing? And then now I gave it to Nikki.

But oh, my God, it's like a star projector on the wall in my room. It's all it's awesome. She was bitching about it on the girls chat. And I go, I'll have it. And you just shipped it over to Chicago. Oh, no. But I also think it's probably tough because you guys, as like musicians, you have tons of instruments and tons of gear.

Yes, there's so much gear. Your whole life is just gear. I'm always like, my babe likes to keep the reel to reel in the shitty corner. When will we be moving it? And we just like make up songs that pass aggressive songs to each other that always start with like my baby yeah my baby is annoying and i need him to stop yeah if it's in a song we laugh and if it's not it's kind of like all right we should talk about this in therapy yeah chris and i are plans to move in together

this summer ish yeah you know, come on over. I got a new star machine waiting for you. The best part is we're like, okay, okay, we're going to do this. It was in Europe. By the way, for me, Europe, I look back at things a little bit with like rose color, like, you know, a little bit nostalgic. But I thought it was, there was like some magic to it. And I thought it was pretty amazing.

And I got to fall in love with Anya all over again which was really fun and i just me for the first time i think there's some falling out yeah we did a bunch of that too yeah no we didn't fight like at all yeah we had one moment in Berlin where I got a little testy and I was like you know what fine and I just like walked out of a gift shop and you were like what are we what's going on here oh yeah what was that about it was like I was hungry oh I know both were like you got a little warm venti that was the day that we're like can we get this extra hot it all started with the Europeans. And then we went to the Holocaust Museum.

Oh, the Holocaust. Yeah, that'll put you in the bad. We were at Checkpoint Charlie. It was at Checkpoint Charlie. Oh, yeah. And like, Anya had already gone off and I was just in a little, I just turned into a four-year-old. I'm just like, because I was hungry. I wanted to sit down and eat.

Chris was like, let's go somewhere and eat. And I'm like, but where do you want to eat? He like I don't care I'm not that hungry I'm like but how aren't you hungry you haven't eaten today yet and then I was starting to feel fat because I had already eaten but I needed to eat again and then I was just like it was a it was a so many things and then you were the one you were thank god you were the one to come out and because I was just like standing out there like what what am I going to do? Like, am I going to walk home? Like, what's the end game here?

Like, this is the first stop of our trip. Like, I got it. We're going to make up. And then you luckily came out of the store and we're just like, what's going on? It's very nice and sweet. And then you let me just kind of go like, well, I'm hungry. And I just feel like I just want to eat my bars sitting down and I just don't want to eat them running around and you're not

hungry and you're never hungry and I'm always hungry and I'm fat and then you were just like and we're at the topography of terror which was a scale for me um and uh yeah but you were thank god you were um just so much more mature than me that day like i i always assume everyone's on my level so i'm like he's gonna meet me where i'm at and he's gonna do the same thing and i'm like where when are we gonna get back on the same track but you got us back on right away yeah i mean it's it's hard to be sad at checkpoint charlie i'm just kidding and i was also like what is this i don't even understand what this place is i feel stupid i feel like an idiot that i don't know any about this history i don't because

you were trying to explain the berlin wall and i was like i literally don't understand why they couldn't climb over it like i it's not that tall just climb over it and then um and i just didn't and then it made me i was just feeling all the feels that day. And it was early on the trip. But I will say that we

the three of us I think people that are listening to this have probably traveled with friends and relatives and family.

Sometimes a group just can't travel well together. Nobody wants to make a decision. Nobody's in charge. Everybody is sort of out like trying to out eating at different times and then everybody trying to out um what is it like uh like manners each other so that it's like well i don't care well what do you want to do what

do you yes but we were a good crew like when somebody wanted to make a decision they would when somebody didn't it wasn't a big deal and we could have we could have been fighting the whole time that's no it was just that though we were honestly we were all best buds it feels like you and i i mean i was more nervous about you and you and me because i've traveled with anya before she's like and i know that you two are not gonna like get into something because you're both agreeable people but i was worried about you and me but i was surprised that was the only time we thought i would call that maybe a fight if you were like i don't like to say fight but like that was the most tense it got yeah i wouldn't call it a fight because there wasn't a back and forth no yeah that's amazing there was right i just capitulated yeah there was just a lot of

yeah but i was i was really struggling with depression on that trip. I look back on it and I was like, the other day my friend got depressed and she doesn't normally get depressed. And she said to me, she was like, it was really, it was eye-opening for me because Nikki always says when she's depressed like this, like, I can't imagine having children or like having some kind of responsibility because I could never do it. And she was like, I never feel that way, but I feel that way right now. And I know how you feel.

And it just feels like you're like swimming in molasses or something like it felt like that a lot of times. But because I was just like, I was just too stuffed up emotionally and physically. I don't think so uncomfortable in and physically. I don't think- And just so uncomfortable in my skin. I don't think people understand how difficult it is for like you and Anyan, creative people,

to travel to another country that you've never been before. There's pressure to sell tickets. There's pressure to, you know, like, is anybody going to think, you know, English was not the first language for most of the people that came and saw your show that's on your mind you've never you've never been to any of these places you've barely ever been to Europe right yeah never yeah just Paris yeah and so it's I mean there was there was a lot of pressure on

you for that but then also you know like I know that to do those shows is old hat for you and it's you know you go on autopilot not autopilot because you're like, you know, you're working and stuff like that. But it's not easy to go out in a foreign country and do those shows. And I don't know if it landed on you that that was part of what you were feeling. Yeah, it was probably subconsciously just in me.

And it's not like once I did one show in Europe, I was like, oh, they're all going to be good. Every single one was a new, like, is this going to be okay? Are these people going to come out? Are they they gonna even give a shit are they gonna understand um and how draining it is to to be in that state and do comedy I know a lot of people are like oh it's not that hard she just gets up on stage and tells her jokes but it's like you know it's an emotional experience for you whether you're doing what you perceive as doing well or or what you perceive as doing poorly you know all of that stuff factors into even your mood the next day and three days later

and it's not I don't know it's it's not easy going up there and doing that and you know like Anya you know handled it really well you know I didn't have any anything to do but be supportive of you guys and so it was easier for me to just be like, I'm, I'm here to like have fun with my girlfriend and my friend. So I didn't, I wasn't under those sort of the pressure of selling tickets in a country where people didn't, that's English isn't their first language. And they, not only do they love you, they, they, they were there for every,

I couldn't believe how quickly. This sounds like I'm being insulted. I was impressed with how savvy people can be when English isn't their first language. I know. Yeah, they got all the jokes. Yeah, it was really never a struggle. There was maybe one or two references where I ended up having to explain

who JonBenet Ramsey was. I thought that be like kind of a worldwide thing even though i didn't assume it at first i but it it worked even better once i explained who it was and sometimes it was just generational you know because some of the people are like 20 years old or you know 20 yeah they weren't alive when that was right yeah but people, they were such warm audiences. I love everything you said, Chris. And also, to your point, sleep deprivation and jet lag are so real. And for me, I feel like I can't even get to C-level if I am sleep deprived. I am not in my right mind. It's barely a dead C-level.

C-level? Is that like 5'7", 7'3"? Yeah, Chris level. I was also, and no one put this on me except myself i want to be very clear about that but i was really exhausted at the idea of being a good partner in like being a tourist like i yeah you i put that on myself i did you were you never made me do anything or were like you gotta see this thing there was none of that but i am conditioned i realized from therapy yesterday that i have a father who is really a go-getter and always wants to go out and do things and i have a mother who is more like me and my mom did not have the same kind of leniency from her partner as i get

from you so i'm always expecting this kind of this connotation of with what i like to do means you're lazy and boring and less than and you're not cultured you're not interested you're not curious you're not so my inclination to enjoy car rides and dinners where we just get to like sit and like look at things and just not have to walk around and go see a thing made make me feel less than the problem is you you do that to yourself but it's like you know like anya would go off and she would go do things on her own and I could go do things on my own but you the the thing that was like a bummer was you would you would sort of feel so guilty about it or so you would shame yourself like as if it was being reflected off of me or Anya who who wanted to go

do something yes and it was like I like, you can do whatever you want. Yes. Because I love the lazy times too. Yeah. And you are fine going out by yourself. You have a grand old time getting in your 40,000 steps. Prefer it. I mean, do you?

That's not true. Because I remember the day that we just were talking about the Dead Sea trip. You were not going to come. And you were like, I'm going to bail. I'm not feeling it. Because we were going to go to the Dead Sea the next day. Right. And I was like, okay, that's totally cool.

I'll go. But then I just thought we haven't done that many things, us three together. And that was the discussion that led me to go to the Dead Sea that day. Because we were going to go the following day. The thing that's hard is because you are so sensitive about these things and it's never just like hey i'm gonna go do this uh do you want to come and it being yes or no based on however you were feeling that sometimes it's tough because you you will guilt yourself into going even though you don't want to

yes and i don't want anybody coming with me that doesn't want to be there yes who does right but then i also have a good time sometimes but then there's also there's a fine line because i'm like i think and we had a great photo shoot out of the deal yeah you're kind of right we did i think sometimes i'm like i know nikki enough to know i know she would prefer to stay in bed right now, but I think this hour long thing, I'm going to push on this and I'm going to say, I think this is worth doing. And then you can go back and take your naps. That was an insane day.

I forgot that we had a show that night. We went to Jerusalem and the Dead Sea. I can't believe you did all that. The guy that from the show couldn't either. He was like, you went to the Dead Sea today? He was almost mad. I was like, what,

did we do something wrong? Was it dangerous? And he's like, no, just I can't believe because the show tonight you wouldn't have gotten back in time. I'm like,

oh. He's like, what are we supposed to do all day just sit and do nothing? But that's what I would do. So like, if I had something at six o'clock at night

and I woke up at like 11, the whole day would revolve around that moment and I woke up at like 11, the whole day would revolve around that moment. And I wouldn't be able to do anything like anything. It's a classic ADHD meme. It's like those people that say like me, me with something to do at 6 p.m. Oh, I'll get so much done today. Me actually today.

And it's like, yes, just sitting doing nothing until 6 p.m. But that's what's impressive about what like you know like that day in munich we had such a great time because we just like kicked it on those scooters yeah that was really fun and i was doing nothing in munich i remember i was i do nothing i feel like i have to be looking at my notes and going over things and preparing things whereas if i'm like on a scooter running through and watching people surf in a green river, I'm like, I can't do work right now. It's everything I do is to make me not feel guilty

about the fact that if I'm doing nothing, I should be working. But that's part of, go ahead, Anya, sorry. I was going to say, you know what cured my guilt over this years ago with like Nikki? Like I used to do this thing where I'd be like I should go with Nikki because Nikki and I lived together as you know for a couple years and then anytime she was in town and had stuff to do she's very very active way more so than I am I'd be like

watching the Real Housewives and she'd be like I'm doing seven sets do you want to come and I'm having dinner and then I'm meeting me this person I'd'd be like, I should go. Why am I so lazy? So I always had this thing. But I remember Nikki told me, I will never be mad at you ever for flaking or not wanting to come ever. So just know that. And I heard that enough times that I started to believe it. And so now it's like, I never feel bad about flaking.

So I really only go when I want to go. The greatest gift you can give your friends. The problem with Nikki, and I'd really love it if you worked on this in therapy give me something it's a constant dis being constantly dissatisfied with what you're doing so if you're if you're napping you're not saying because I'm I'm different like I I don't relate to this at all I'm like when I'm napping I'm like this is good for me I need to be doing this and then when I'm when I'm like out in you know if you go home early in Munich and I'm just exploring I'm like I'm this is what I want to be doing so like this is what I'm doing this is exciting or when I'm like oh shoot I got I really

have to be working yes but when you're you know when you're working or when you're not working everything is the wrong you're doing the wrong thing yes and that's a that is not a like a fun place for you to live which is like when i'm out having fun i'm not working on sets when i'm i'm trying to move out when i'm sleeping i don't want to live here anymore yeah i'm just fine working with the therapist seems like you really got a good to rent out the space about your dad's stuff like it really yeah that was a big thing of like i i can't stand um my mom wanting like even my dad will if he hears this he'll be so mad but we were coming back from new york and my mom is exhausted because we went to dave matthews i flew

her out last minute the air is disgusting we go to dave matthews i flew her out last minute the air is disgusting we go to dave matthews she's like has a couple drinks we go to the cell afterwards it was a late night she didn't sleep well because she like her heart rate was like spiking and she didn't sleep till 3 a.m we get up in the morning at 7 to go to the airport she and then she doesn't sleep on the plane and then i'm like you got a nap today. Please just tell me you're going to do nothing today because she really deserves it in a way that I would even feel like I deserved it. And I go, don't let dad give you shit about taking a nap. Holla's with us, by the way. And she goes, I will.

Your dad's not going to say anything about that. I can nap when I want to. And I go, I just predict that dad might have a problem with you going on a little vacation that he didn't get to go on, even though I invited him and he turned it down. And then you coming back and then sleeping all day based on my 25 years off and on of living at home. I think he might have an issue with it. But she was like, that is ridiculous. Your dad doesn't care if I nap. I nap whatever the hell I want to.

So we get in the car. We're driving to my place. My dad drops me off. Hollis in the car with them too, because she's getting dropped off at her parents, which is in my parents' subdivision. And she wrote to me later and she goes, did your mom tell you? And I go, no, what? And she goes, you were right. And I go, what? And she goes, seconds after pulling out of your apartment, your mom said, I'm going to need a nap today. And your dad goes, oh, of course you are. You're going to nap all day.

Is that what you're going to do? Had that whole thing. And I was like, I fucking knew it. And it's not my dad's fault. My dad is just an active person who does not relate at all to people who would ever need to nap. Or wouldn't want to go look at a plaque that says thomas jefferson took a shit here once or whatever is like he can't understand that someone wouldn't be interested like he can't understand this person which i only know i'm not a i used to feel like a fucking pariah because my

dad would get so mad at me in high school i would see someone at schnooks that i knew or i wouldn't want to go to show you'd be like let's go to schnooks get some groceries and i go i don't want to go because i don't want to see anyone i know and he'd go what are you even talking you don't want to see someone you know and i go i might see someone i know i don't want to talk and he used to be like why would you ever say that or think that you don't like seeing people and then i then you get the internet and that's literally what every meme is about that no one wants to see each other everyone clocks someone at the grocery store pretends like they didn't see him i'm not alone everyone doesn't like seeing people they know but i grew up in a house where that makes you crazy not normal some you have a problem you're lazy you're you're just weird and so i relate all of the things that

i am naturally to that and i have to break free of it and i'm grateful that i have a boyfriend who accepts me who's excepts me for who i am yeah i'm gonna ask you hear that ej yeah no he's great and nicky thinks so too he's the best he is amazing i have the best dad ever but i do really he does not. He doesn't relate to nappers. Yeah. Those things. Yeah. Yeah.

And if you don't relate, you can't understand. You can't fathom why people would need this much rest. And I'm one of those people. And so it boggles his mind. Like, where did you get this from? Who are you? But also, I think people are like, oh, you went you left town. So you were on a vacation and a vacations.

Vacations are easy and relaxing and now you're back from that yes but some vacations are not like this one was not it was go go go bmb all right we'll be right back after this short break 2025 is bound to be a fascinating year. It's going to be filled with money challenges and opportunities. I'm Joel. Oh, and I am Matt. And we're the hosts of How To Money. We want to be with you every step of the way in your financial journey this year,

offering the information and insights you need to thrive financially. Yeah, whether you find yourself up to your eyeballs in student loan debt, or you've got a sky-high credit card balance because you went a little overboard with the holiday spending, or maybe you're looking to optimize your retirement accounts so you can retire early, well, How to Money will help you to change your relationship with money so you can stress less and grow your net worth. That's right. How to Money comes out three times a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app,, Wednesdays, and Fridays for money advice without the judgment and jargon. Listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop.

Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator. You know who he is because of his pattern of behaviour.

He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him.

Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven, and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery.

The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to Crems as part of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Short break. And we're back from a short break. So let's do some Reddit dump, shall we? This is your Reddit dump. Oof. She's digging deep. God, my voice is... We can re-record that if you want.

We should. It makes me cringe because i i thought that sounded good at the time but now it shows how far i've grown um oh my god i just pulled up my phone and anya earlier today on the girls chat was saying that matt was listening to some music last night i won't say who i won't say who okay good and you you're like who is this what are you playing it sounds like a bunch of guys who have never had sex before and i was like please tell me who it is and um this is the name of the band babe don't say it i won't say it but it's so funny and i did listen to them they were pretty good i think i kind of like them yeah i like those little virginal uh eunuchs okay it's time for Reddit dump.

I will say that Reddit is trying to go dark right now because they're trying to protest the banning of third-party apps. Because if third-party apps, people can download those and use those to look on Reddit, then Reddit does not get to have the data from those to sell, which is how Reddit makes all of its money. And the third- party apps are much easier for like moderators and the people that are that are like you know the kind of the heart and soul of reddit to to use yeah they're i i use just the reddit app do you use that third me too

the more i've been reading about all this stuff i'm like i gotta get this third party people are like yeah these third party apps are way better way better yeah well make it more user-friendly well they're like parties no um yes i think they're more user friendly too and they're just a better way and i do want to say that one of the most soothing for me things is nikki doing a sarah silverman impression it's so weird it's like my asmr which i don't have asmr but you were doing it over the weekend i was like oh my god this is so good really yeah it's like i'm trying to figure out why that would make you feel soothed um let me just think deep inside my pussy walls. I don't know.

I'm just trying to. That's so good. You cannot tell. That's so nice. Okay, I'll do this whole segment in a Sarah voice. Okay, first off, my voice teacher would be like, please stop doing that. So I will.

Noah, first up, let's do the one I sent you. This is from TikTok Cringe, which, by the way, is not... I told you this recently. It's not all things that are cringe. Sometimes it's just a good TikTok, which makes no fucking sense. But sometimes they're cringe. This one's not cringe. It was just interesting.

It's a guy on some podcast who probably has some kind of science degree. And because it's a TikTok clip clip i trust what he's saying even though there was no photographic evidence or any evidence to support what he said but i think it's interesting and it's called wild mice love hamster wheels i think happens if you put mouse wheels out in the forest i would imagine that mice would not use it they do they do they love it it has nothing to do with needing an outlet. It's just that they love doing it. There's amazing video of these like wheels that have just been put out in a forest. And like wild mice who have the entire world to run in

are still like, hey! And I think that's us too. We look at these wheels and we think, wheels in cages, that's what the internet is. We love running on wheels. That's what it is. We love gossip. And it's not just the internet that caused it.

We've always loved it. We're just typing it now rather than whispering. I thought that was pretty interesting. Because I do enjoy going on Reddit. I do enjoy looking at my phone. I do enjoy a lot of things that seem mindless. I think growing up, watching a ton of TV was actually great for me. And I would actually raise a child with them being able to watch hours of TV a

day if they wanted. Because as long as it was like good stuff that made, enriched them and like was well-written, I would have no problem with that. So I kind of liked this because we do like a wheel. Isn't that so cute? I'm disappointed they didn't show any footage of the wild mice. I was waiting for that.

I want to see the footage. Yeah, I wanted to see the footage. There was no footage to back up. You just got to trust this. I was waiting for that. I want to see the footage. Yeah, I wanted to see the footage. There was no footage to back up. You just got to trust this guy that it's out there. Yeah, I got to trust this guy. I've seen this guy before doing videos like this. He's legit. He seems to be an authority on certain things.

And you're like, all right, I'll buy what this guy's selling. I know. I mean, they made a clip about it. And there's another guy across from him who's looking interested and going, really? With his sneakers crossed well no there's like like there's like an evolutionary reason for like us wanting news and liking news because if something you know if there was something that was outside that was going to kill you you would want to tell everybody about it and so wanting and needing that information was like essential you know yes years and years and years ago and like i just love and novelty

we just love anything new because it excites us and it also is yeah new things equal like wait danger that could be danger whereas stuff that we know and trust your your system does not respond to it because there's no danger it wouldn't affect you in the tribe for this normal thing to come on through. Anya, did you have thoughts about the wheel? I was thinking about Dear Abby saying once a long time ago, or maybe it was her sister, Ann, whatever. I don't know. One of them.

Landers? Yes. That gossip is not inherently bad. It's like shit talking is bad, but gossip is really just idle chatter. And then it got a bad rap over. I love gossip. Yeah. It's my favorite thing in the world.

And I have to quit. I have to quit. I just heard something on gossiping that really hit me. Tell me some gossip about gossip. I'm even down for that. I know what it is. What? Noah's going to say the thing. Didn't you send it to us, Nikki, about how women are conditioned to gossip? Is that what Noah's going to say the thing.

Didn't you send it to us, Nikki, about how women are conditioned to gossip? Is that what you're going to say, Noah? No, no. Okay. Not at all. It's just about like a perspective of gossip. So I have a group of friends who are, you know, like they know about like Jewish text way more than I do.

And, you know, like the Torah or whatever it is. You meant like a Jewish texting app texting i know but so did i you mean hebrew it's a third-party app that allows you to search reddit so anyway so they it talks about you know like gossiping is is not good and basically this thing was was really i don't know it it just really made me think about gossip in a way gossiping you're basically like slaughtering someone's soul but they can't defend themselves because when you're gossiping you're talking about a third party so the that third party is not able to join the conversation and talk about themselves so you're basically like slaughtering their soul yes in front

of the people that you're you're talking i love that that's so jewish by the way the words just like that's it's just so biblical to be like slaughtering your soul um i love that because it is and that's what it feels like when i when i when i do gossip and i also know from all the stuff that i'm reading that for every negative thought you have about something, you're slaughtering your own soul. Like you, it's so bad to put out bad vibes about anyone. Like I just trying so hard to counter every negative thing I say with five

positive things. Cause that's what my therapist said that the damage that a negative thought does on your brain, you can only counteract it with five times the positive to make it go away. I thought it was three times. So now when I go like, ugh, to my body,

I have to be like, you look great. You look amazing. You're beautiful. You're smart. Look at your curves. Like I have to do five things. Can you say it like Sarah?

You're amazing. You're smart. Look at your girl. Doll, look at your curves. But I love gossip so much, but I's one thing, like cigarettes or something, I have to quit. It's poison for you. It's slow poison.

I have a good remedy. But it's so fun. Imagine the person is in the room. Say whatever you wouldn't mind saying if they were in the room. I try to do that, but it's hard to remember that. It's so fun to gossip you guys think i think it's probably you probably do but do you guys ever think people are doing it about you yes i mean i assume they are but i don't care you know logically but it doesn't like land on you that it's probably happening no it does not the only times is when

i post something that i'm really embarrassed by and I picture a certain female comedian sending it to other female comedians and them being like, she's unhinged or she got fat. Like that's, but I could not. That's the one person. But overall, I've stumbled upon things written about me that are really mean, and they've affected me greatly. And I know they're being said constantly, but I don't look at it, so I don't care. My dad is always like, your Reddit, they are weird. They're just posting pictures of your legs and just saying really strange things i'm like those are not

even as bad as the ones that are you know talking about my like speculating that i'm on drugs like don't even read those ones like yeah you should see your 4chan oh i mean people yeah there are people that are constantly talking about all of us. And I know that my friends who talk about people to me talk about me behind my back. And you should assume the same for me. No one is talking about me. That's what I tell myself. You wouldn't like that, though, would you? I think no one's talking about me.

Um, okay. And if they are, I don't care care I just really don't care either I'm sure like I don't count YouTube commenters or like people on Reddit like I don't care yeah yeah my dad says that all the time he says what other people think of me is none of my business my favorite quote yeah that is ever stuck with me is that is to remember that because it isn't your business but it is slaughtering your soul when i was a child my number one fantasy this is so weird aside from having virgins float or no i think it was the people that have had sex and i used to have a fantasy that like all the people who have had sex would float up so i could see the one you could see who's done it yeah because i was a virgin but my number one fantasy when i was like seven eight

nine ten was that i would have a tape recorder and i could just press play and it would have recorded everything everyone's ever said about me and i'd be like oh i can't believe so and so said this about me and it was all mean stuff i want to hear that it was always mean i think so yeah but maybe it was like i just want to hear what people are saying about me and it was all mean stuff when i hear that it was always mean i think so yeah but maybe it was like i just want to hear what people are saying about me because you're just looking for an identity when you're young that's what people do i mean i have friends that still read all the comments and stuff i don't know how they haven't killed themselves yet even i was talking to rachel feinstein yesterday and she was talking about some clips she came across of me talking about my dead cousin jd and she said it was so sweet and she was like in the comments and I go no no no no no no she was

like they were so you like helped so many people there were people in there saying I'm a weak sober and I needed this and like it sucks that you have to miss out on those things because of it okay this one is from reddit psychology and it says good looking female students no longer get straight a's when classes become virtual ah when the professor can't like maybe fuck them is that a real study yes it's a real study i'll look at the um good the great equalizer research and psychology published in the journal economic letters who knows what that is reveals that attractive students tend to achieve higher grades in school. However, the study suggests

that this beauty premium disappears when classes are taught remotely, especially for female students. That is, I mean, you could have predicted that. Data obtained from five different cohorts of engineering students from a Swedish university

resulting in a final sample of 307 students. Two of these cohorts attended a portion of their classes remotely. the content of these courses stayed the same but lectures and seminars were conducted online an independent sample of sun whatever they explain the the study but yeah um they discussed several reasons why physical attractiveness might enhance productivity for male students male students who are physically attractive tend to be more persistent and have a greater influence on their peers. Attractive people also tend to have more social skills

which have been linked to creativity. Since non-quantitative courses tend to involve creative assignments and group work, men who are more attractive might be more likely to excel in this coursework. Anyway, yeah.

Hot people get stuff easier. And then there was this post the other day on Instagram that was like the struggle of hot people, how no one takes them seriously and everything. Oh, come on. And I was just like, Vinny, a break. I hate those, like, yeah, I cannot stand those things where it's like, they've got it so rough.

Like, give me a break. They do have it rough in the sense that when they, I will say one thing. Final thought. Okay. When they do age, it is so much harder. Yeah. And it is, and they do question a lot of, like people always go, well, you're a pretty face. You'll be fine.

And they dismiss that these people have an emotional depth or intelligence that they do have so am i sorry for them no because they're hot and they get everything yes but do they struggle still of course of course they do no one would deny that i don't i just don't like it when people use them being attractive as one of the things that make their lives hard because that's not true it's just not true yes it may be worse when they get older but it's just the world is so unfair when you when you see the the how varied people are and some people get way more i always hate it when somebody's like really good looking really good athlete really good musician funny and you're just like this this kid this world is not fair yes yeah taylor swift it's like

to make taylor swift a lot of things if she would have been born in a different country under different circumstances perhaps into poverty she would not be who she is it has to be a mixture of like the talent plus the loving parents encouragement from your community a certain time you were born in where the music industry is like and then also a ton of hard work having a brain that's good at hard work it's all a fucking crap shoot sometimes you get a t swift conan says about it what he he's i mean i love this where he's like he's like you know 50 60 years ago 100 years ago i would just be the town idiot in ireland like everybody'd be like oh there would just be the town idiot in Ireland. Like everybody would be like,

oh, there goes Conan, the town idiot. He would have had nothing to contribute. There's no need for him. Yeah. 100 years ago, or me. Nothing. At least they had music back then. Andy, you would have had a job. Noah, you would have produced something.

I would have been like an assistant or produced something there was a thing like an assistant or something an assistant back in that like do you ever think about what you would have been like in the renaissance or the wild west or all these different eras i think i'd be a hand with a ton of children yes i would have so goats. As a woman, you know what you would have been. Nothing. A mother. And a housekeeper. That's all you would have been.

Or a witch. I was told I was a male soldier in a past life. Male soldier? Who wasn't? I know. Wasn't everyone that's ever lived before us 200 years a soldier? You're always something cool. Everyone fought. There was no getting out

of that if you were a man anytime before 1700 you were fighting all the time um i wanted to say that share this text i got last night from my sister um to my family um i wanted to get to a couple things but this is uh she sent it to where is it sorry Noah it's in our text or in the rundown okay oh so it's it's my biggest fear I'm not kidding you

I have everyone knows I have certain phobias air shows yeah fat men on diving boards two lane highways over 35 miles per hour

going directly at each other okay add to the list which I have never even come across this again except one time we went to a circus in fucking fourth grade or some shit and it has been it is one of

my biggest fears i don't even like to bring it up because i don't want people sending me photos of it or talking about it but those cages that are circle with the motorcycles going round and round and almost hitting each other are so fucking terrifying. I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it. I don't like them. Do you love them? I think it is. When I see those, it makes me think I'm so impressed with like humanity,

like with the human race. Like I cannot believe first of all, somebody had that idea. Then somebody was like, well, I'll get in it in a motorcycle and I'll just go around they're like well there's plenty of room in here for i don't know two more motorcycles and they're like all right well we'll come and practice it with you it's insane that you don't even know how do you even start to practice something like that you're

so right it's it fucking it doesn't make sense it doesn't make any sense like all of it none of it makes sense and then when you watch it you cannot believe that it is not a disaster it's it's perfect no will you google motorcycle motorcycle circus accidents because i want to know if there are any because my sister willy nilly william dilliam of nothing apropos of nothing sends our group chat this video i'm not even gonna look at it and they are in a tiny little ball and motorcycles are going round and round wait the children are back they're at the circus i guess and she just sent that there's a bunch of um okay circus performers crashed during globe of death globe of horrifying moments circus entertainers riding the cage of death die

it's just like a bunch this is back to the hamsters people just like me going around and around with the exception of like real feats of courage i think this is the most impressive thing do you want to go watch it would you like want to go see it before and you can just sit there and watch i have a membership it was a part of it I want to die. It's the most impressive thing human beings have ever done. I'm not kidding you. You couldn't pay me $10,000 to sit down and watch it for a minute. A live one.

One that I knew wasn't going to crash. I could maybe watch this video. I'm predicting. I only watched it for a second before I freaked out. What about third row at Taylor Swift? What do you mean? That's the prize. If this was happening, I would not go go i would never go see her again if she had this going on no i don't even want to be in i would not even go in the other room watching it you get no nothing no i wouldn't i'm not

kidding you this is the it gives me so much anxiety so it's so weird that they sent this to me so i wrote back this is one of my biggest anxieties as a young girl up there with air shows i'm gonna send something that's just as upsetting to you now i know my mom and sister have trypophobia i don't know if that's the way to pronounce it but it's it's if you google it t-r-y-p-o-phobia you will see it's like the fear of little circles all together in a condensed area this is an example of what i'm talking about oh yeah it's like the fear of little circles all together in a condensed area. This is an example of what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. It looks like rotting flesh kind of.

There's a reason why we don't like this kind of thing. But I sent them this classic flower that has this going on. And it makes you want to barf. And I sent it to my mom. And she goes, no. And I go, sorry, mom. And my dad goes, these grow in the pond at the river ship. They're pleasing to me. Well, that's weird.

Because they definitely are unsettling to me as well. And my mom goes, oh, stop it. And I go, sickening. And then she put a big paragraph. She went, you know, space bar. And she goes, getting these off my screen by moving them up. And so it was just a fun moment of trolling my mom with that. I didn't even know that was a phobia.

I see those things all the time. Those little plants with all the holes in them. Did you Google trypophobia and look at all the images? No, Noah sent us a picture of that. Oh yeah, those things make me sick too. Any circles that are closely all together. It's the same as when

maggots eat rotting flesh and they burrow in little holes but it's also why i like planters warts because there's just little dots and i want to scrape them out and i want to get them and i want to maybe chew on them but i'm never gonna do that because it's a virus but i would if i could i do someday one dig out someone's wart babe have you talked about the meme, the guy who's doing the memes for the podcast? Oh, yeah. We love him so much. He's killing it. Killing it.

Yeah, right? Yeah. This is like a dream come true. I know. It's so fun to be memed. And he'll take clips from things I've done in the show and make them move and stuff. It's so fun. He's got his finger on the pulse of memes and this show.

And the show. It's a talent. it's like a dream come true yeah i wonder who he is and i wonder if he has any other meme accounts i never want to find out yeah is it a he i mean we have no idea we have no why do we assume i thought it was a woman really yeah well i think it's a man a hundred percent but i could be wrong when we had you up we had out of context you up as an account and that was I think her name was Grace she was great

okay okay well we shall see reveal your tell us what gender you are or what you identify as no stay a mystery

okay don't tell Chris I won't tell him but I want to know thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast Chris thank you for being here today yeah thank you so much i really love being here with you guys brian will be back in a couple weeks i think he's taking a couple weeks off to get married we're

going to his wedding this weekend we'll talk about that next week but we have another show before next week so we'll see you tomorrow on the show thank you for listening oh yeah and i have some tour dates on january or january june 24th i'm going to be in Highlands, California, I believe. And then I'm going to be in Vegas with David Spade on June 30th and July 1st. And then I have so many tour dates that I just announced all new for the fall. Chicago being a very important one that I want to sell out desperately because it's at the Chicago theater,

September 15th. Nikki glazer.com for all the tour dates and, um, ticket info. And I can't wait to see you guys out there. Um, and yeah, 19th. NikkiGlazer.com for all the tour dates and ticket info. And I can't wait to see you guys out there. And yeah, don't be cut. And just don't ever send me a picture of the KJDAC or a video.

Don't. Please don't. I'm serious. Don't. No. Okay. Send them to Chris. He loves it.

I do. I think it's awesome. Joel, the holidays are a blast, but the financial hangover, that can be a huge bummer. If you are out there and you're dreading the new statement email that reveals the massive balance that you may have racked up, well, you could use our help. That's right. I'm Joel. And I am Matt. And we're from the How To Money Podcast.

Our show is all about helping you make sense of your personal finances so you can ditch your pesky credit card debt once and for all, make real progress on other crucial financial goals that you've got, and just feel more in control of your money in general. You know it. For money advice without the judgment and jargon, listen to How to Money on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors,

it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. People, my people, what's up? This is Questlove. Man, I cannot believe we're already wrapping up another season of Questlove Supreme. Man, we've got some amazing guests lined up to close out the season. But, you know, I don't want any of you guys to miss all the incredible conversations we've had so far.

I mean, we talked to A. Marie, Johnny Marr, E., Jonathan Sheckner, Billy Porter, and so many more. Look, if you haven't heard these episodes yet hey now's your chance you gotta check them out listen to Questlove Supreme

on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts what if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same,

our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaneyaney rowe and cord jefferson listen to mini questions on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts seven questions limitless answers