The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #358 She's In The Zeitgeist, Leaked Jonah Hill Texts & Does Therapy Really Work?

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Even though Nikki is trying to cool it with the Taylor Swift talk, it just happens to find her! Have you ever cooked a meal for your partner and they politely hated it? It happened to Anya. Brian connects the resulting feelings to performing comedy. They all have no business discussing the Jonah Hill leaked texts in Why Do I Care? However it leads to a good debate on just how helpful therapy is. Spoiler horn..Brian doesn't believe in it. Nikki makes a funny observation about the texts and wraps it all up with some good advice... Betterhelp.com/Nikkiglaser. ----- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Here's Nikki. Hello. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I'm Nikki. Hello. Welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. I'm Nikki. Such exciting news over here. I just think that I got an in on Taylor Swift tickets for an upcoming show from a friend of mine that I randomly, like, this just shows you how things can all come into place. I texted a friend who lives out in LA.

I don't want to say any names because I just don't want to jinx this, but I texted her because I really can't wait for the Barbie movie. I'm so excited about the Barbie movie. I honestly don't think it will live up to my expectations. I think it's going to be the funniest movie of the year, maybe of the century. And I just can't wait. Even though i did think

that that um little clip that they had where her shoe was her foot slid in the shoe and her foot stayed the same everyone was like losing their mind about that but i was like it's not that big of a deal if that's it's i do still think it's going to be amazing because greta gerwig uh is writing and directing it anyway i'm very excited about it and that did you guys see the ken song that he released or that they released of him singing about like i'm only ken and it just like it seems like it's going to be the story of ken feeling like he's nothing without his connection to barbie and him setting out to be his own person and ryan gosling's just so funny as this ken doll that's taking himself so seriously and anyway so I wrote her to being

like do you want to go see Barbie opening weekend and she was like I don't get back till the 24th but as soon as it opens 21st so I'm like okay I'll wait and then she was like but I do want to go to Taylor Swift with you because we had talked about this before and it's early here like for me to text no it's 11 and um she was like no but I do want to go see Taylor Swift and I was like I do too I spent x amount of dollars already on her and she goes i'm willing to spend a lot of money i'm like i am too let's do a podcast about it afterwards to justify it and maybe we'll make some money back that way and um and i was like and i go i'll look into tickets later and i was like i'm gonna try to get a hookup but probably not because it's la and then she was like you just gave me the

courage or like you just gave me the what'd she say i have uh i just took a crazy embarrassing risk omg and texted blank blank about a hookup and she said yes and she said i have texted with her once before and was so scared to ask but once you said you were in it it gave me the strength to do it for us i'm so excited and the person she texted any swifties listening know this person and it's a someone who's very close to taylor so it's just so nice and if any i think it would be really fun i will i will agree to meet taylor if this person gets us tickets because this person's gonna see taylor that night i would think um anyway i'm very excited.

That was very good news starting the show. I'm crossing my fingers for you. I was going to try to do a podcast without mentioning Taylor, but here's the thing about Taylor Swift. I don't even bring her up and she comes up all the time. People think that I'm constantly bringing her up and I did today and I do often,

but did I tell the story about the barbecue that i went to on over the july 4th kind of weekend no to that i was with these like mixed company that i was just meeting these people for the first time biracial and what biracial oh mixed it was like friends of friends of friends and And there were all these people that were, and we were walking in late, Chris and I, to this barbecue. And I felt really awkward because when you walk into a party, you expect people to be like, hi, like, oh my God, these people are here. And they kind of knew we were coming, but no one got up.

And they were kind of just, it was as if we came out of the bathroom or we went inside to get something. And we'd been there the whole time. Like, I felt like a bizarro world of like wait but it doesn't matter like it was just the vibe you know and um so i was feeling awkward and i was like oh my god did i say something like i just already was feeling tense and like they maybe didn't want us there which wasn't the case but um and i was just we had just driven two hours from the airport

and we were getting there and the barbecue happened probably at 7 30 and it was just we had just driven two hours from the airport and we were getting there and the barbecue happened probably at 7 30 and it was like 9 15 and so and I was like look like scrounging around their leftovers for food I just felt like like I was not wanting wanted to be there and um but then I was like oh I'll sit down and like have a chat. And then it was, it was fine. And then at one point, Taylor Swift came up. I did not bring her up. I was not wearing a Taylor Swift shirt. I was wearing a Kendall Roy shirt. I, there was nothing that, I don't even know how she came up,

but Taylor Swift comes up all the time. And you'll, listeners will know, just start paying attention. She comes up, people talk about her all the time because she's the biggest star in the world. Even Ringo Starr said it recently who's of the Beatles and I sent my dad that article that said Ringo Starr said Taylor Swift's the number one most famous person ever of all time and I was like so excited to send that to him because he's you know very my dad is the biggest Beatles he's like Taylor Swift like I am with Taylor Swift but for the Beatles and he uh

and I was like see even your guy thinks she's more famous he doesn't think she's a big deal or does he he's just like someday she'll be it'll be cool to see her in small venues someday and I go this girl is never ever going to do anything less than stadiums the rest of her life and if she does it's for like a prom it's like gonna be a special night that is like sponsored by Sirius XM like the Dave Matthews thing I saw him at Irving Plaza for like a couple hundred people but that was like a one she's not gonna do a tour of you know gastropubs through the midwest like it's never gonna happen she's never ever ever getting back to gastropods Yes, ever Like ever And so

I Yeah, so we're sitting at this I'm like picking at this salad That I made from their leftovers And they're talking about Taylor Swift And I'm just trying to I want them to like me I also am aware That people tend to think that

I don't know I just maybe they don't think anything but I'm just trying not to I try not to make anything about me or like I don't want they all know I'm a comedian probably and I don't want to come in and be like I don't know I'm just trying to play it cool and like low-key and they're all like people that are, I feel like a little bit older than me. So I'm a little like impressed with their lives. They're all like married and like have dogs and like they're in good places in their life. And I just don't feel that way. So I kind of am like reverential and I'm at this picnic table and we're sitting there and this girl, one of the girls, one of the wives, that's how I identify her. I'm sure she would not appreciate that.

One of the sister wives. I'm very aware that they could be listening if you haven't noticed how much I'm tiptoeing around this conversation. But she loves the salad. Oh my God, that salad dressing was so fucking, I'm not even kidding you. I still think about it.

You know when you like vinegar makes your mouth water, there was like a perfect amount. It was amazing. It was in a mason jar. It was like above and beyond whatever I could ever do i whenever i go to the grocery store pause on like just a little we have to like get off on um a dressing tangent i've never made a salad dressing in my life i don't trust myself to do that with i want to be a woman who makes her own salad dressing and just like with some dijon mustard a little vinegar um balsamic

vinaigrette and oil and salt and pepper i think i just that's all you need maybe a little lemon that's what i do every night and it's but like i did feel like a grown-up when i learned matt taught me really it's so easy it's crazy for a dressing like that but if you wanted to make something like a ranch or a uh like a caesar i'm vegan those are no yeah that involves sardines and eggs well you can make vegan versions of anything um that's true but those are those it won't taste as good for my for my wedding i got a a uh salad dressing machine or whatever it's like we i don't know what the hell you just said but i'm assuming yes kui a kui what is it how do you spell it it's i have no idea i'm just gonna spell kuwait but it's okay it's called kui you put a bunch of ingredients in a

little bottle and it has a little like uh propeller like like the titanic propeller that the guy fell onto it's like in there oh yeah that is a fell onto. It's in there, spinning around. That is a famous scene. I would say that's the second most famous moment in the Titanic besides the hand up on the glass falling down. It's when that guy goes, and then he hits it, and then he spins again. It's so good.

And then Leonardo DiCaprio holds up a 10 sign. And so it's spinning around and it really worked for stuff like you described. But I tried to make ranch dressing and it was, and with a recipe, with a recipe,

it was repulsive. Wait, what turned it? Well, first of all, you have to put raw eggs in there, which I don't trust. And just everything I put in there made sense it was like this all seems like ranch and then when i tried it made me gag i'd be so scared to cook and like have something be and my biggest fear people people who cook for others i just want to take a second

and just honor you because you risk them like if i tell a bad joke we're on to the next joke right away they don't have to finish the entire joke for an like and it's not going to be the only thing that they get to to live on the rest of the night like i'm like you have to only hear about this joke you know like 40 minutes but like if people come over for a dinner party and they're like first of all you have picky eaters like crazy uh you know everyone has their own thing that like i can't eat this like then you serve them and if they don't like it some people don't like consistency like it could taste great but the consistency could ick them out and then they have to if i saw anyone pretending to like what I ate and like kind of gulping it down. It,

I mean, I, I have, I have so much, um, just, uh, what's it called? Admiration for people who put themselves out there cooking for people like my

mom. Um, the amount of times, like we've just been like, I don't want it. Like, God, that would hurt my feelings so much.

So much time on just being like, this tastes weird. This is cold. Like such little bitches. for kids forget about it yeah i would never cook for chris i would never like there's no he's too picky and i would hate to see him be like i have cooked things for him like just warmed up things like in a skillet for him before and he's even been like to that and i'm like so offended i didn't do like and i just feel the dressing thing though wow you're a woman if you make your own dressings or a man i can understand that about the about the cooking like sometimes i'll make a meal that takes like

hours hours and hours to make like a good uh hearty soup or a a um well i guess i'm just thinking of soups that take that long. Sure. But I make soups. There are no other examples. Yeah, when I make those soups, you know, if Allie didn't like them,

and she's the only one eating them, it's not like I'm inviting in the children from the outside to come eat it, but only Allie's eating it. And if she didn't like it, that would be really upsetting. But I guess I'm really lucky in that she pretty much

likes everything that I eat. But also, not to pat myself on the back, but I'm I'm really lucky in that she pretty much likes everything that I eat but also not to not to pat myself on the back but I'm pretty good cook so I think did you get to be a good cook or were you always like did you have always have a green thumb in the kitchen I think it's in my genes because my brother's a good cook too I'm not saying we're like you know the bear level chefs but I'm saying that we can cook a lot of different meals that are very good and i've had like various groups of people say that they like what i make like ali's parents or like friends when we're at like an airbnb like it if i liked it though i would be like i guess i don't care if you guys don't because it i'm deciding if it's good so Yes. Like I make a cream of tomato soup that I love. Like I nailed it and I searched for a long time for a good recipe and I couldn't believe I kind of nailed it because that's one of my favorite things to order.

And I'm very picky about like a great tomato, like a spicy tomato soup and it's hard to find. And I made one. I'm like, this is really close to something I would get in a restaurant and be psyched about. And I was so happy. And I made like little gluten-free grilled cheese sandwiches with it. And it was so good. And I shared it with Matt. And he was like, it's great, babe.

And I was like, what is this? Yeah. And then later on, you know, like a couple months later, I'm like, I think I'm going to make that soup again. What do you think? Should I make that or something else? And he's like, you can. I'm not much of make that soup again. What do you think? Should I make that or something else? And he's like, um, you can. I'm not watching a tomato soup guy.

But I don't care that he's not a tomato soup guy. Because you liked it and it did. Yeah. And that's a nice way of saying

maybe he didn't like yours. He's a sweet guy. I don't think he likes any, but yeah, maybe he hated mine. It's just like stand up. That's what you're describing. It's like the more you cook for people, the less, the thicker skin you get. And if one of your meals bombs, you're like, well, it's not that big of a deal. I'll

move on. But the cool thing about comedians is you guys are, I guess with a bad meal, people remember a bad meal and can talk about it for a long time. But when you, do you think when you hear a bad joke, remember it like i don't really yeah as an audience member though that's the thing is like whenever i finish a set and my last joke sucks i'm just like oh the whole set doesn't matter the hour and a half i've been talking it won't matter because you know i've said this a million times on the podcast but psychologically we remember the first thing the last thing the best thing the worst thing but we generally remember the last thing and the worst thing more than the best thing and the first thing um and more so you always remember the last thing and if the last thing kind of sucked i always whenever if you've

noticed anya when i'm closing out a set and it's not that great my last joke i'll go remember the joke remember the pedophile stuff you guys loved that like don't forget the the chunk about my mom remember that always good night san diego i always like go okay well that wasn't that strong but i do have to go remember when we were having fun 10 minutes ago and i should have actually closed this out because I want to remind them because they won't remember otherwise. I mean, the countless times people have said to me afterwards. Right, but audience members don't remember the bad jokes.

Audience members will generally remember 85% of that set I loved and then they won't remember the bad joke. No way. Really? When I go to comedy shows, I can't remember a damn thing. I just remember, oh, I think I laugh the most to Chris DiStefano or something

out of the five people. Right, but you remember, if the comedian closes not as strong, you might still like them, but you won't, there will be that stuck in, it's just you can't help it. There is just that kind of stuck of like,

it's a little, it's just the, if you ever, next time you go to a comedy comedy show try to see on the ride home what you remember and and and test this out it's like you have sex with somebody and they and they blew your mind in bed and then right after you finish they go take a shit oh god yeah on your chest yeah Grand finale. Is this a finale? So I'm at this picnic table and then I go, I wouldn't forget. I didn't forget.

And I'm at this picnic table and they're talking about Taylor Swift because I didn't bring her up. She's just in the ether, right? She's part of the zeitgeist. Yes, she is the zeitgeist. And this girl goes, I just, I can't believe that all too well is about

her losing her virginity can you i did i had no idea and i go um i didn't know that either because it's not oh i don't know what happened to me in that moment i didn't have any animosity towards this girl. I did not. I don't know why. What the fuck happened? I just, something in my brain snapped and it wasn't me being like a know-it-all. I promise you it wasn't that because I've analyzed this moment so much. Were you hangry?

It was me. I was angry. It was me. Oh, was I hangry? Yes, a little bit. But I was sticking up for someone who my subconscious has convinced myself is a personal friend of mine who I've spent more time with than any of you, I think, probably at this point. That's just a little false and i just see how damaging it can be to have one little false piece of information out there that can spread and i just didn't want

anyone to think at that picnic table that she lost her virginity this stupid jake gyllenhaal because i don't even though i'm not positive about this i really don't think that's who she lost her virginity to i think she lost it to someone else, but I'm not going to speculate who, because it's none of my business. But this was my business because it was, I just felt like I get that way with my friends. Like Chris has seen it a bunch. Like if someone has a wrong idea about a friend, I snap in a way that I can't, that I wouldn't do. Honestly, I don't know. I'm not trying to be like i'm the greatest friend but i get really angry and um but the way i just lay it do you ever say something and it comes out of your mouth and you're like you're trying to pull it back like the tone is already like uh the you you

hear the tone coming out and you're like this is not the way i thought of presenting this and it's coming out of your mouth and it's too late and so I just go because it wasn't like I just that's I think that's what I said she goes can you believe all too well was about her virginity I go no because it wasn't and it just landed and then everyone I could just feel the tension Chris was in the bathroom but Curran his spoons Curran's Curran his brother was sitting next to me and it was almost that like um moment with dave matthews when i was like funky and i felt a hand on my shoulder from baba buoy being like calm down it was like i felt current almost be like like is my friend being like weird suddenly because current's the one that's bringing us into this situation with his friends and um and then i

instantly went into like i mean it could be like where did you hear that? Like my tone became what it should be. And then on the way home and I'm just being nice the rest of the time. I'm like laughing at everything she says, like trying to get this girl to like me again, because I'm like, this was so rude out of nowhere. And so then on the way home, um, I told Chris, I was like, I had a really bad interaction. I accidentally said, because it wasn't. And he was like, okay, well, why do you think you did that? And I was like I had a really bad interaction I accidentally said because it wasn't and he was like okay well why do you think you did that and I was like I don't know and and he was like I'm sure it was fine oh what was my point about this fuck I was gonna say something

um yeah it was just uh it was just an ugly moment but I just feel like I don't know I remember the same setting we were in Lake Placid last year and i heard a table talking about pete davidson next to us and they were just mouthing off about pete davidson and what their thoughts about him which stuff we do on this podcast all the time talk about celebrities we don't know right because i know him not well but i've known him i just was like fuck these people with their little opinions about someone that is not here to defend themselves and is now whipping themselves into a frenzy of like they're piling on the lies upon their lies about him and these opinions and i got really loud and i was like oh cool so many opinions about pete

davidson and i like said it loud and oh my god everyone at my table was so embarrassed and like why do you have to do that and i'm like because they need to know that these people walk among you and people that care about them walk among them and um but we're gonna have some thoughts about jonah hill that um are totally none of our business and he's not here to defend himself coming up right on the podcast right after this so stay tuned for that john stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture.

You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from Jon and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we're back. So yeah,'s do uh why do i care why do i care so this is a part of podcast where we talk about um a celebrity news story that we really shouldn't care about and and maybe

we do care but um this one is the jonah hill text exchanges that were leaked via his ex-girlfriend sarah brady over the weekend i guess a couple days ago um so they are not together anymore jonah hill is now currently maybe engaged maybe married uh definitely has a baby with just had a baby i think with his wife or whatever it is um and so this is an ex-girlfriend they dated a while ago. I thought this was recent. No, no, no. They dated a couple years ago or maybe a year, you know, like I think.

Yeah, the breakup was August of last year. Okay. Or no, sorry. These texts were August of last year. I think they probably broke up six months prior to that. So early 2020. Yeah, August 2021.

Oh. They were together for a year before parting ways but they were friends he already has a baby with another girl like how did he did he get pregnant with a girl immediately after sending these texts i mean they have a don't they have a baby right now yes we should have looked this up okay do you want to check on who dated who.com it's my favorite opinion yeah okay yeah at least we're being honest about we don't really know i mean just to say i did go to college with jonah hill he was in my dorm my freshman year he was always very nice to me at a time in my life where i looked like a walking skeleton mr bones no one wanted to be friends with me besides uh my close girlfriends no guys wanted to have anything to do with me.

And he was the only guy from a group of guys in our dorm that were like, and popular. And he was the only one that befriended me. So I will always love him for that. And then he went away. We all went away for Christmas break, our freshman year. And then he never came back. And we were like, what happened to Jonah?

We loved him. And then shortly thereafter, we saw like a happened to Jonah we loved him and then shortly thereafter we saw like a trailer for I Heart Huckabees and this guy that we had no idea was an actor we knew he was from LA and that he was friends with the guy from Maroon 5 but that was all we knew like that he was connected to Hollywood in any way and then all of a sudden he was in movies for the rest of my life but he was always nice to me. And then I've talked to him. I think we talked on MySpace a little bit after that. He was always nice and never, yeah.

But I haven't seen him in person since then. And Anya, you ran into him in person, I think, once. Yeah, I've met him a few times. He was always really cool and seems to do great work on himself. And we talked about that a little bit. I liked his documentary he did with Phil Stutz. I tried to get Chris to watch it to be like, look at this guy in therapy.

We watched like half of it and then Chris was on his phone for some of it. I'm like, can you please put your phone away and pay attention to this movie about men going to therapy? And he was just like, this isn't how I'm gonna take care of myself and be convinced. Through a Netflix documentary. Yeah, and like, I think he was just like, this isn't how I'm going to take care of myself and be convinced.

Through a Netflix documentary. And I think he was, it was just, I was so, it was one of those things where I was just looking at him the whole time and then looking back at the screen like, did you hear that? Like childhood trauma can be kind of like insipid and maybe you don't notice it, but it was there. And it was just just I was so obnoxious and we never finished it but do you like to that with Phil Stutz of the tools I thought it was cool it was definitely interesting it's a yeah and I know some people that have worked with

Phil Stutz so uh I mean I think it oversimplifies so much of therapy and I don't I don't know if I love what way well it's just like just do this little exercise that I drew and then you know obviously that can't cure you I think so much of therapy I've found really helpful is really examining the motives and the origins of things and how they play out but they are great tools well i can't explain it because i'm not that educated about it but it just seemed a little bit oversimplified to me like but that's how any 90 minute documentary it would be they can't cover everything that's how to get people in is to be like it's simpler and then they do it and of course it's going to get harder but like

it's showing i thought it was good because it was I thought it was just a good way to get men to kind of consider doing this thing. Yeah. That they might be. I don't think, you know, I don't like the whole digging into your past and figuring out why you are the way you are. I feel like that doesn't help. I feel like it's like interesting for people to know, like, oh, I act like this because my mom beat me with a wooden spoon or whatever the fuck it is.

Right. You do? But that doesn't actually help you change your behavior in the present to make you happier. And so I've been to probably like over 10 different therapists over my lifetime. And there was one that it made me like answer all these questions in a journal about my past and try to connect things to my past and and then and then put my uh the things that upset me into a pillow and then beat the shit out of the pillow and scream into the pillow and i did that for a while and it did nothing it did nothing for me yeah i also agree with you about how yeah you go in and i think there's several like memes about this,

like therapy. You just go like, Oh, that's why I do it. And then you're like, am I done? And they're like, no,

that just, it just tells you where they are hiding. Like the things like, and you can kind of place it. It's kind of like Enneagram or you like anything, any personality test you go, ha ha. Wow.

It's like novel. You go, Whoa, this is me. That's so me me but it doesn't do anything for you except kind of go pat you on the back and go oh i'm not you know what it does it makes you feel like you're not crazy for the things you do that it's not your fault and i think that also makes you a little bit more self-aware of when it's happening it's just like another reason to pay attention to when it's happening and that's where the change can start to happen but i was going to say like that that documentary anya i think what i'm i didn't watch it but probably therapy takes many many years so if it kind of gives this view of like oh you know we can improve jonah and like this 90

minute series it's kind kind of not really truthful. Well put. I loved a lot of his tools. The one that sticks out to me is, and I completely believe this is true, that most of our problems can be solved, or 80% of our issues are, are you physically taking care of yourself?

Are you slept? Did you sleep well did you eat hungry angry lonely tired does he say that in there no but i mean isn't that a book yeah i mean that's such a great thing and i love that he said that he's like most mental health issues can be like i would say 86 of them or so i forget the figure can be solved with did you exercise so did you eat did you sleep are you hydrated we on you you were even talking about this weekend you were like like you were so underslept and like everything is amplified why don't why doesn't being underslept make you like wow i'm more happy like why does it have to go the other way like why do you have to

just see the world in a negative way because i guess you're dying a little bit and if you don't get enough sleep, you die. So it's like a warning sign to be like things are wrong, error, error. If not sleeping made you happy, you would try to not sleep more and more often until you died. And then those people wouldn't survive the evolutionary. I think

I just decided on right now, this moment, that therapy for me uh is bullshit and i'm a guy who has been to therapy actually there was one time it helped me quite a lot but like i don't know for i i to me a lot of the times i'm just talking to a person and i'm like you don't i'm running circles around you like Like you're like, I agree. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. I feel the amount of times in therapy, I have had some sort of breakthrough where they kind of feel like how I got her there. I'm like, I gave you that because it's like, I fake an orgasm, you know, like I had an, or like I maybe had half of one where I'm like,

okay, thanks. You were there. And I like had to, maybe you were there to facilitate this, but like I gave you that and I made you think you gave it to me kind of thing. Like I got myself there and, and then they go like, I think, and it's always, I don't know. I just, I, and I know that this is just patting myself on the back, but I just feel like I'm, I'm emotionally aware of this. I just found myself on the back but i just feel like i'm i'm emotionally aware of this i just found myself a lot of times in therapy and this is my fault and this is probably something i have to work on with a therapist who won't allow me to do it but i give them a lot of wins to like let them feel like they're a good therapist i fake orgasms i fake i fake revelations all the time to make them have you guys ever don't buy anything in therapy yes yeah of course

it's great i love it but i want to hear a specific thing the number one thing i think therapy is good for for most people not for me because i'm an open book and i use this as you know i i talk about my psyche all the time i don't hold anything back ever there's nothing in therapy that i wouldn't say here literally nothing i just don't hold anything back ever. There's nothing in therapy that I wouldn't say here, literally nothing. I just don't hold anything back, but I think most people do. And so I think that therapy is a place where most people can let things out that they wouldn't let out anywhere else. And that in and of itself, whether you get any feedback that is helpful, just talking and saying things, especially for men who tend to bottle up their feelings and not feel like they can share their feelings. It's a place where you have to do that and i think it's so so essential for them like you know the

one time i always quote this but it was so cute the one time chris went in to a like couple's session with me and was like some of those things like i've only i've never said them out loud i've only thought and i'm like i have never once had a thought that I have not said out loud in my life what I honestly I've never just said something only had a thought I mean maybe that I'm unaware of but he really was like I think all these things but I've never said them out loud and same with journaling it just that helps you you need to get them out being in your head is not the place to solve things you don't realize how much solving you do when you're able to articulate something with your speech or with a pen and i think that's what is essential for it but yeah i've had so how many things from my abusive therapist bingo card have i um my abuse

of dr abusive have i quoted on here of like that have helped me like the one i said it yesterday to brian we were talking about imposter syndrome and my therapist was like oh so you think you've tricked everyone so you think you're smarter than every single person that has ever given you an opportunity all your listeners all your fans every network that's ever given you a show you think you're so much smarter than them and you fucking David Copperfield and they're they they're just thesemies. And then when she did that to me, I was like, no,

I do not think I'm smarter than everyone else. Like if you flip it that way, it makes me realize like, no, you, okay, now you're being a little selfish bitch to think that you're so much smarter than everyone.

And as soon as she just held up that kind of mirror. And the second that she made me think like, uh, imposter syndrome actually is narcissism because you think you're smarter than everyone and you've tricked people. Even though you feel like you're worthless. That's a great therapy pearl that you took. Yeah, I like that.

Yeah, but for every therapy pearl you get, you get like weeks and weeks of therapy sand and you never find a pearl. My somatic therapist. Yeah, it's like I feel like going to therapy is like skiing on a green trail where it's like at a certain point you're like i can do the green

trail without a ski instructor and like they never get to the blue squares and the black diamonds there's just no i i feel like at a certain point you get the tools i would understand going to therapy if you um had no clue about how to like any self-awareness at all to never explore your own emotions and didn't have any tools at all but after like a couple years of that i feel like you should go on on your own it's up to you it's on you to do that every day not go to you need some you need an outlet that you need a friend that you can talk that openly to. You need to journal.

And people aren't doing those things. So therapy, I think, gives people that outlet. It's like, yeah, you could lift weights in your apartment, but a gym is a place where someone's going to tell you what exercise. It's a trainer. You could do all this shit on your own, but you won't. A lot of intelligent people talk themselves out of therapy too because they're

like i'm smarter than that it's for dummies or it's for people that are really fucked up but then i've been in therapy with incredibly intelligent people and both of us can't figure dick out and i'm like how are two intelligent people that have both been doing therapy for 20 years be fighting about the dumbest shit. And then I- Because we're creatures of habit. Because we're- Noah is a perfect example of therapy

working for someone so much. Like Noah's always the one, whenever I'm going off on the girls chat to be like, have you maybe considered getting back into therapy? Like she always tears me back into therapy because you had such profound effects from it. And you're one of the smartest people I know, emotionally intelligent beyond anything I could ever be. You always have such poignant, the old meaning that I used to think, words of wisdom.

And I know that you weren't like that before. I didn't know the Noah before therapy, but you were like a lost little bird an angry lost little bird right yes wasn't therapy your turning point right like for me therapy I just like knew that I was destined to have my parents relationship and even though like I learned things from my parents that I didn't want to be didn't want to have even though I was like still like I was conscious of that I just kept going in the way of creating the things that I didn't want. Like I didn't know how to not get those things. And that's where therapy has truly helped me. And like I was saying, sometimes I'll revert to my old self

because it's, you know, like this is stuff from when I was a baby that started like wiring and like looping together. And now I'm like unwiring and then I have to rewire and I think it's just kind of like going to be my life's work to do that oh my god the amount of times that the person I chose who reminds me nothing of my dad then does something exactly like my dad or like is or we we act out this dynamic that my mom and dad have the number of times that's happened even though i'm doing everything to not do that and i don't want that is astounding to me and like through it's just so subconscious the things that we want to play out you know the big thing is that we are always acting out the stories of our childhood to complete them because we got these mixed messages or these stories.

The story might be like, you don't deserve love. Your mom didn't give you enough attention. Your dad wasn't around. He didn't hug you or say, I love you. So you're trying to complete that story of, I am not lovable. I got this feeling as a child I'm not, but I never hurt. I need to prove that to myself the rest of my life. And it feels comfortable

because it's what you knew as a kid and you don't know anything else. And so therapy helps you identify those and do your best, even though it's hard, to steer clear of that and do the opposite. I mean, I think we were talking about it yesterday, but Anya, like the reason you ended up with Matt was or like were attracted to someone like Matt

or got him in the end was you had to do the opposite action of what you were naturally wanting to do. You naturally wanted to reach out to him all the time. You naturally wanted to buy him gifts or like write him like sweet things, send him like sweet pictures of yourself, convince him. Like those were, if you left your own devices. Why we should be together. Yeah. tell him how he needs to fix himself but the hard thing was telling him like

you know this is what i want and um and i can't really talk to you unless we have that and like and not settling for any less and so yeah just you have someone in your corner with therapy to help you figure out those kinds of actions and then, you know, help you stick to them. Yeah, therapy and definitely like non-therapy approaches too, which is really just like Brian's talking about, like self-reflective work. Stuff where you truly get to know who you are. are like before i would say before i got sober and like started in recovery and all that i was the most passive-aggressive person had no idea of my own intentions at all and then once i stopped drinking what's an example like i remember a girlfriend of mine this is such a dumb example but a girlfriend of mine was dating a guy and they broke up and i ran into him a couple months later and then i texted her oh my god i ran into your ex uh and she was like

uh yeah and i wrote back like he's so cute uh and she's like if you want to date him you can date him and i was like lol i would never oh my like, I was going, this is in my 20s. Like, oh my God, I would never. Not knowing I was attracted to him. I probably subconsciously reached out to her to get some kind of permission and had no idea about any of this. Yeah, what you wanted from her

and absolutely was, oh my God, you should date him. Yes. 100%, I don't care at all. I don't like him at all. You should date him. like clearly there's something there yes and if and i remember her saying she was calling you out stop being passive aggressive anya and just do she said you can date him if you want and then i did this whole fucking number oh my god no no no you did like a musical stop being passive aggressive period you You can just be direct. You can do whatever you want.

I gave you permission. And I called her. She didn't pick up. And she was a badass. She was like a recovery badass person. And I remember I looked up passive aggressive, thought to myself, this is not the first time someone has called me this.

I don't know what this is. And started over the years realizing, oh God, I am. I do not know my own own motives why do i not know my own motives for stuff i'm too busy people pleasing and trying to do impression management and control everybody's impression of me and like be the good girl and be the liked girl that i can't be like dude i ran into your ex would it be so weird if i went out with like we how do you feel about that like no way would i have ever said that so now imagine you you so you learn that in your 20s so now you go to therapy now and you're talking about this stuff to your therapist and then your therapist says something like have you ever heard of the word passive aggressive

and then that's exactly what happens in therapy. What the fuck? Of course. And you go, whoa. I mean, that's how I feel now. This is like dating, but therapy,

a good therapist, which is an essential part of life, I think, or of self-care is just as hard as finding a partner. It's not going to, you have to, that's why you've been through 10. That's why I've been through probably over 30 at this point of different people I've met throughout the years.

And you're right. You don't always have to go. It's not like you have to go every week or whatever. Like I haven't. Yeah, I've been doing some couples therapy, but I haven't been to like one on one therapy. I would say in several months. So it's not like I'm doing it. Yesterday, I had a really good moment, but I felt so guilty about it.

I was on a call with the network that is doing the show. So it's like the people that are like in charge of everything. And they're the ones that you like just ask the most to. Yes. And I had this Zoom call with them that I forgot to get on. And by the way, I have also, I was having voice issues when they wanted me to come to this like team meeting with where I would meet them. And so I canceled that that day because I was like, I just don't have a voice for it. And I took care of myself that day. And I was also like, we already got the show. I'm going to meet them on set.

Like, like, I don't need to do this. And they'll understand, like, I really couldn't make it so yesterday I've we're shooting all day and then like on my little one hour break that I have from this fucking 11 hour day to eat lunch and to relax and to get change out of my dress and everything like that they're like you want to jump on the zoom and I'm like oh fuck I forgot so I get on the zoom and there's like these three women that are like so awesome so nice so excited and this is the first time I'm meeting the network, the, the big wigs. And we're talking about the show and we're so excited. And we're like, just like getting to know each other. But my stomach is desperate for the food that I was just stuffing in my face in front of me that I had to stop. Cause now I'm on a zoom. So I'm like looking at the food. I realized that in 10 minutes, I have to start getting into hair and makeup again. And

I'm in, we've already covered, we're excited about the show. Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to meet them tomorrow. They're going to be on set. And then another person jumps on the meeting a little late. One of my people on my team. So I already know that person they jump on. And then I realized, oh my God, he's jumped on late. We're going to have to do this all over again and go over. We're excited. Here's what's happened. Like, I was just like, just like i see this this is not gonna end anytime soon and i had just low enough blood sugar not enough caffeine a little too tired a little too like thinking about my day and i just was like i want you to know all too well wasn't about her losing no no I had that moment though I just go

guys I'm really sorry I have to be in my makeup chair in 15 I said something like I have to be back in clothes and dressed in 15 minutes I haven't eaten lunch I really um I can't wait to meet you tomorrow but I'm gonna jump off I have never once ever done that to my bosses like can you imagine doing that to your boss and i was thinking i was trying to channel whitney cummings or like someone who's like girl you need to take care of yourself like like someone just being like listen to me like holding my face and being like you need to take care of yourself you know like just do it and then i was also had the thought of like no i'm i'm generally a very nice person to everyone on set, no matter what level you're at. I'm never like I've heard horror stories about celebrities and like them and and and the

ones that are like aggressive and like stand up for themselves and aren't like people pleasing all the time tend to get more work than anyone. So I'm like, if this goes the way I don't want it to and they think I'm a huge bitch who thinks I'm better than them and I don't really care about this meeting, which is none of that's true. If they do take that away, it'll only benefit me because everyone likes someone who tends to come off like a cunt anyway. Like cunts get so much work in this town. So when the off chance they do think I'm a cunt, which I'm not, it'll probably benefit me. So I'm just going to

do it. And I, and Brian was in the room when I did it. Cause I, oh, also Brian was at craft services and texting me like pictures of what I wanted. And was couldn't get back to him because if you go to a different screen on your zoom on your phone you don't it goes blank and they know you're doing something else and they would have thought I was like posting a thread or some shit so I like couldn't look at the pictures he was sending and I was like and I knew he was not going to just wait there all day for me to get back to him and so I and he was in the craft services far away and I was like I'm gonna miss out on more food and I all I had was these two little dumb side salads and I was just panicking and so I just and then Brian walked back in coming back from craft service and

then I just like did it and I was like I need to pull the plug on this and I was like after I said it I would and just put down the phone I was like oh no and I instantly texted the two other guys on the phone which are also kind of my bosses the EPs of the show and I'm an EP on the show but they're like EEPs and um executive executive P's and so I texted them both like I'm so sorry I had to jump and I could tell that they were probably like our talent is like kind of being a little in the past I will like go down on the network. Like, I'll be like, do you want to just step off to the side and I can like blow you for a couple minutes?

Like, thank you so much. I don't deserve this job. Like, I will do anything for the network. And I was just, it was the first time I ever stood up for myself and was like, I'm doing too much today. There's, I don't need to be having an innocuous conversation on Zoom.

We've already covered all the bases. It's just going to be more like small talk and I can't do any more small talk yeah you showed up on time yes I mean it was a little late to that zoom but I did show up I did it and but I would say 90 percent of talent would not have done what I did and I was a little proud that I did because the old me would not have done that. And maybe it was me. It could have been a bad move, but I'm going to meet them today and I'll probably apologize profusely again. I don't think you should apologize profusely.

Don't apologize. Everybody in Hollywood gravitates towards narcissists for a reason. It's because when you act like you're better than or whatever, then people think like, oh my God, they're probably better than me.

Now I have to appease them. So I think the only thing you achieved in that moment is maybe you've raised your status in their eyes. I know, it's crazy. The thing that I did not want to do is only going to benefit me. Whenever I accidentally come off like a bitch, I'm like, this is, just don't worry about it

because everyone likes a bitch. Why men love bitch. There's like books about it. I'm not saying you should act this way in life, but in Hollywood, it's like the number one thing to get ahead is to act like a narcissist. Like you're better than everyone else. You walk into the room and you make everyone feel like this is the biggest star I've ever seen in my life. And if you go any lower than that, if you go lower than the people you're talking to, then they're like, this person is a waste of my time. I don't need to treat them like anything.

I think this applies to high-level jobs. Anytime you're in a high level somewhere, that's just something that you have to bring to the table. Also, why is it being a bitch to just take care of yourself? And you're setting the tone and i like that you're doing it early on because these people are getting to know how you work and what you consider productive time so to you this is a productive length of zoom you also are letting them know you have 10 minutes until you have to be somewhere and you have to eat

so they're let you're setting the tone for how this show is so bravo yeah getting back to jonah yeah these are boundaries you're not and also there's a line though that you can cross because you can get too far we discussed this yesterday also um that woman from men in black which we don't know why we don't know why that happened this is fascinating i was fascinated everyone remembers men in black right right? The first one. Anya probably didn't see it because she didn't see Aladdin or Titanic. This was a phase where Anya was... God only knows what you were doing in 1998

during the summer when all these blockbuster hits came out. That's when Men in Black came out? I think it was 98. It was the same. Okay. Titanic and Men in Black. Did you see Men in Black, Anya? No.

It's so good. You have to see it. You really do. It's really good. There was a woman in it who played the mortician who was Will Smith's love interest and she was amazing in it. And then she disappeared from Hollywood. And I thought when Brian told me this,

I was like, oh my God, we didn't see her in anything else. She must have not fucked Harvey Weinstein. He must have blacklisted her. That's probably what happened. The initial things where we thought she maybe died because Allie was watching Men in Black. It's one of her comfort movies. She loves Will Smith, even post-slap.

She loves Will Smith. I was just walking in and I saw this scene with this woman and I was like, I've seen this woman in a lot of things. But then I looked her up on IMDb and her IMDb credits just stop after 1998. She did one more movie after Men in Black and then they just stop. And she hadn't done anything, anything at all since then.

And like Men in Black was a huge blockbuster movie. So like the biggest of The biggest of that summer. Yeah, it was crazy. Her career was all external looking at it. It seemed like it was going to blow up after this. And then it just stopped. Nothing. Not even some indie film.

Not even some NYU student called her up. Nothing. So she must have died. She must have died or opted to retire for some reason. Maybe she's like, I'm going to focus on my family, whatever it was. So you dug into it. I dug in, I went on my little computer and I have a really small computer and I went on it and I looked her up. Turns out no one has ever called it a computer for the past like 20 years. I went on my personal computer. I saw a meme the other

day that was like, remember when we had a computer room? Remember you were like, it's in the computer room. There was a room in their house. No one thinks about it anymore. So anyway, you went in your computer room, you typed in. I went in my computer room, I logged on to AOL and I looked up

That whole thing. That was also a Dave Matthews song from 97. I looked her up and then it turns out that she is hard to work with was the quote. Linda Fiorentino. Oh, I love her. Yeah, so what happened? So multiple people said she was hard to work with. Now, one

of them was Harvey Weinstein. So that instantaneously makes this seem questionable. Suspicious, yes. It's suspicious. But she was great. Wasn't she in like, what was the movie, the iconic film? Was it The Last Seduction or something? She was so good in. Anyway. Well, what happened with Men in Black 2 2 because that was an interesting story around that so men in black 2 is going to come out because men in black 1 was such a huge hit and if you watch the end of men in black 1 tommy lee jones's character it's tommy lee jones and will smith tommy lee jones character gets a great send-off it's like he either retires or dies at the end i

can't remember but he's done he's clearly out it was a beautiful ending a beautiful movie and it was clear that it was setting up that Will Smith and Linda Fiorentino, they're going to have some kind of relationship after this. And if there was a sequel, it was clear they would be the leads. But then Men in Black 2 comes out and it's Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith and Linda Fiorentino is nowhere to be found. They don't even mention her in this movie. So it turns out that according to accounts that I read on websites, so take that for what you will, but Tommy Lee Jones was asked, we got to have that chemistry between Will Smith and

Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black 2. You got to come back. I know you died or whatever, but you're going to come back. And then he said said I will only do Men in Black 2 if Linda Fiorentino is not in it Tommy Lee Jones said that? Tommy Lee Jones so wonder what she was like yes

I mean I've heard Tommy Lee is incredibly difficult to work with too so it's sad that maybe he's like I'm the one who's difficult and then also Kevin Smith said she was hard to work with too so it's sad that exactly maybe he's like i'm the one who's difficult and then also kevin smith kevin smith said she was hard to work with but then he apologized for late so multiple people enough people said she was hard to work with that she never worked any other data about this well she listen she i'm looking at imdb that is uh it's not completely true she did um dogma with kevin smith and that's where that came from. Then she went on to 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 more things. 2000, she did three movies,

but you've never heard of any of them. 2002, she did one more. And then 2009, she did a video. It doesn't even say a movie. It's just a video. She was a smoldering, sexy actress. And great, I thought. Yeah, she was like striking more a tyranny.

What about Brett Butler, how she went away and then we see her again decades later and she's amazing in the morning show? I saw her, oh, was she in the morning show? Wasn't she? When was she in the morning show? She was somebody's mother. God, I'm so excited about that coming back.

Reese Witherspoon's mom. Oh, yeah. Well, I saw her in a ralph's in 2009 i love that ralph's and she was shopping at like 3 a.m because i used to have an eating disorder that's what i would go grocery shopping for my binges and i start at three in the morning and we were both not doing well in that ralph's but she was buying two gigantic siberian tiger stuffed animals from her house, among other things in her cart.

And I just remember being like, she's a legend. You know, she's a standup. Anyway, we got to go to break. We'll come back with actual Jonah Hill texts and we'll talk about them when we get back. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need

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or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. Let's get into this Jonah Hill thing. Let me read some of these texts. So if you don't know, his ex-girlfriend Sarah Brady, they broke up last August. He is now with someone else, but they used to wear matching outfits on the red carpet she's a she's a surfer girl um she's a professional surfer and she posted on her instagram story over the weekend um kind of like she the first one is says this is a warning to all girls if your

partner is talking to you like this make an exit plan plan. Love y'all. Call me if you need an ear. And so she posted texts exchanged from them. This one is a picture of her surfing. And then under it, Jonah wrote, respect however you want to live your life. You only get one. And let me just say, unless I say there's a period, there's not. Okay. Respect how you live your life. You only get get one and then the next text says sort of done with explaining myself she said three removed not the video yet is it my best surfing it is my best surfing video would period would you feel better if the cover frame was different question mark any more specific ones that bother you question mark i have to say this comes off as someone who knows they're gonna post this someday like But maybe it's just an abused girlfriend

or a girlfriend that's feeling like... I've been that girlfriend before. Whatever you want. Is there anything else I can do for you? But this kind of feels to me like... And then this is just my spidey sense of someone who knows that they're going to share this with friends

and they want to look more victim-y. She's like prepping for her deposition with this text. She is in law school. That's interesting you said that. This also could be that she really felt this way. So I don't want to, I'm not, don't come at me for about this. It's just, I can't help what my thoughts are.

I'm just sharing them. This is not the truth though, okay? What I'm thinking about this is not what actually happened. So don't misconstrue that I'm accusing anything. And he wrote back, she said, any more specific ones that bother you? He wrote back,

yes, one that isn't of your ass and a thong. First of all, that doesn't make any sense. She said, any more ones that bother you? And he said, yes,

the one that, one that isn't of your ass and a thong. So the one that isn't of her ass bothers him? No, he meant to say, no, he just, no he just the thing the takeaway from all these i just want to say before we really get into them is that he might be illiterate um he i don't understand why celebrities who i really respect who are like when any of this

ever comes out my general takeaway is that people can't write and people on text message sound like they've had multiple concussions through their like they sound mentally disabled um when they write they sound like three-year-olds that grabbed their mom's phone and just pressed a bunch of buttons well you saw first hand he didn't finish college so that's a good point i don't know how he got in with this or he. He definitely didn't get in through his essay. Okay. So then she goes, fuck it. This is the title of this one.

She posts another one. He writes, plain and simple, colon. And then nothing underneath that. Then if you need, colon. So two things that have colons. There's nothing under the plain and simple colon. It doesn't make any sense. No, I get the if you need. What do you mean?

He's saying if you need surfing with men, modeling, blah, blah, blah, shots in bikinis. Well, we get that, but it's... Then we are not a good match. I understand that, but... But just say that. You don't need to say like if you need

and then all these lists. Just write it in a sentence. The thing that's weird to me is that it's plain and simple colon and then if you need colon. So me is that it's plain and simple colon, and then if you need colon, so there's nothing under the plain and simple. So if you need colon is a sub-colon of the plain and simple colon.

So you have to just assume that all of the rest of this in the if you need colon is being plain and simple. By the way, if you thought you were going to get a take on this relationship, you're not. All we want to do today is talk about the grammar of this. It's really a fresh take. There's a period later in this. It's a space and then a period that's just sitting there. Oh, I see that.

Can we stop with the space, period, space, and also ellipses being over three dots? Three max. Can I add one more thing to this plain and simple i believe that he wrote this in his notepad and then pasted it into text just by the format okay so the next text plain and simple if you need colon surfing with men boundaryless inappropriate friendships with the men to model to post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit to post sexual pictures friendships with women who are in unstable places and from your wild recent past beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful than a space i am not the right partner for you space

period space if these things bring you to a place of happiness i support it and there will be no hard feelings these are my boundaries for a romantic, for a romantic partnership. My boundaries, capital W with you based on the ways these actions have hurt our trust space period. What is that? This is a person who has been to a lot of therapy, who is now weaponizing the tools of therapy again, because he's trying to say like,

look, I'm only setting my own boundaries. These are just me setting my boundaries. I'm, and this is why no one should go to therapy i'm on that train now jonah hill has figured out how to take twist it perverted people are saying this weaponized therapy thing what's the difference between a guy just having like he doesn't want to date someone who has model pictures and post pictures of her ass and and him stating that and like that's he's uncomfortable with that and being a controlling douchebag like what's the difference between those i want to be clear here i love jonah hill i love his movies he's incredibly talented you're love bombing

jonah hill right i if i ever have a meeting with him i hope he likes me um anyway uh well i think like some of these things he's asking for is are unfair like if he if he was entering a relationship with a professional surfer he should know that she's going to be doing a lot of things in his plain and simple colon list like surfing with men modeling posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit it's like these are just so maybe he should maybe not date a surfer and just bail out on his own without asking her to stop doing all these things right in order to be with him he's shaming her for being who she is and that's not cool that was my initial reaction okay so then you have a better take well let's keep going then she says um uh she said i guess she's texting i don't know who she's

texting about she's saying um let's see she wrote and i asked him to make a list of his needs too but i think his list ended up being like five rules for me not anything that he needed the freedom to do in his life himself like his list of needs was not a list of needs it was a list of expectation rules for me when we ended it it's because we couldn't agree on that and then i stayed friends with him for the next six months and he just kept chalking up our breakup to us being in different places in our life when that's bullshit that's not the main reason it wasn't working so he kept me on as a close emotional confidant after the breakup sext sexting me on July 13th, 2022, visiting me at, oh, that's almost the anniversary of that.

Visited me in my apartment in my hometown early August, 2022, and then waited till a week after I moved to Hawaii for law school to send me a text being like, by the way, I'm in a new relationship. Okay, nothing of that sounds bad. Like at what point is she going to take any accountability? You stayed friends with him. Like you don't have to be as emotional confidant.

Maybe you stop and pull out. I just have a problem a little with like why did you keep going but then then people will come at me like well she was an abusive relationship you can't get out of that he tricked her he manipulated and then um she said what then there's a text exchange with them both and And this is from August 30th, 2022. That's what she labeled it. She said, what's tomorrow like for you? You free anytime between this and this? He said, I don't want you to bail on school.

That's important. No, no period. That's all one sentence, you guys. I know I don't need to, but in the spirit of- As you can tell by my text, school is important. As you can tell from my text grammar, school is important. I know I don't need to but in the spirit of pure respect to our friendship and appreciation for each other i did not want to be transparent that i did start dating i did want to be transparent that i did start dating someone recently i'm sorry if this is painful it just happened and i didn't

want to not be transparent with you ever as i care about you she said thanks for letting me know probably best if we don't talk for a while and you figure out where that's headed. He said, I appreciate and understand that. Okay, there's nothing bad there. That seems okay. Then, the next day, she texts, not that it's really my business, but out of my own personal chicks before dick's code,

if that's headed anywhere other than hookup or fling, I'd appreciate if you make that woman aware of how recently you've been flirting with me, sexting me, and leaning on me for emotional level support on on me for partner level emotional support and he goes i'm sorry what and i have the same reaction fuck you yeah now she's you weren't dating him you were texting him and you guys were both probably leaning on each other and you're fucking mad that he's with someone else and so now you're like you gotta let her know that we have been seriously talking and everything and it's like what no he doesn't he he just put up

that boundary with her like we this needs to end because i am in something with someone else i don't need to go backtrack and tell her that i've been talking to two women it sounds like they just made it official therefore now is the starting point of you can't talk to anyone else. Not before. Yes, exactly. Everybody in the history of dating has had a little bit of an overlap.

Like if you're dating two people and then you decide to get with one person, you got to then let the other one go or whatever. And like, you just don't talk about that with your current person. That's just the way it goes right and he wrote i have been there for you as a friend which i have made very clear and not only is it not your business as i only mentioned it to you out of respect and friendship

but i have not been flirting with you or sexting you in any way where it would be inappropriate at this time to start dating someone and if anything i have felt for you and it and if anything i have felt for your change and tried to be a good and supportive friend as you transition to a scary new environment and to be crystal clear I have not flirted or sexed with you in any way shape or form in months and went to say goodbye to you as a super kind gesture that you seem to have appreciated because it was kind and then she then from continuing on I'm sorry if that's upsetting that i would move on at all six months later but i've handled you and i and i with utmost love and respect thanks don't ruin

all the kindness you're better than that which i never like you're better than that and then she wrote um in response to as you transition to a scary new environment um she wrote never really seen it as scary and then he uh and he said i have not you know in response to her being like to be crystal clear and in response to him saying i've been i have not flirted or sexed with you in any way shape or form in months she um had searched through her text for holding my hand right um i think it was holding my holding no... No, just holding my dick. Oh, holding my dick. Sorry.

Holding my dick. And he had written holding my dick on the 13th of July. So that was a month removed from that. And she goes, whatever helps you get through the day. Got to focus on mine now. Adios. He said, new side of you, Sarah. I care about you and will always be a friend.

What is adios and then way? You think that's a typo or is that a thing that the kids are saying? Maybe that was their pet name. You know, like, que onda, way? Like, it's a SoCal thing. By the way, I heard a new Gen Z phrase the other day. A girl was talking to her friend. I overheard it in a shop in New York during Anya's wedding weekend.

And this girl was talking to her friend and she was like, and then my dad was like, you're spending too much money on clothes and I was like dad say less and I was like I love say less and then I googled say less slang and it's very much a thing oh yeah no it's almost over actually say less I know I know I'm

really late to that it's like that word choogy or whatever which means kind of k like uh okay so he said new side of you sarah i care about you and will always be your friend as i have been yes we sexted two months ago all right so that was one and a half months but you know who's what whatever he's rounding up he said screenshotting intimate text between us is a huge triggering violation for me and breach of trust as a friend and I have explained to you about breaches of trust. I have been trust.

This is all one sentence and I have explained to you about breaches of trust. I have been I have had between trusted friends recently that have caused me trauma. I am in period. I am incredibly hurt and feel a lack of safety where I've always trusted you period. I'm sorry if a former partner moving on is painful and I empathize with that. Space, period, space. But I have done nothing wrong. And if I wasn't a public person, I wouldn't have this kind of,

I wouldn't face this kind of violation and have shared with you that, and have shared that with you. And then watching you be like this today shatters my ability to trust anybody even further. Period. I have always shown you kindness and support. It is extreme, but like,

that is probably extremely triggering to be like, okay, this person, he probably saw all of this coming in that moment. Like this, what this, uh, what's the word deluged? What's the word when things all come out at once? Um, deluge. Like what is it? It's like, well, anywaying deluge like what is it it's like anyway deluge deluge of text messages that she shared like he probably saw this coming in that moment and is freaking out because listen she is capable of this space he goes on to say i have nothing to hide in my life but i'm still entitled to safety and privacy just like you or anyone else's period space period space i thought you understand oh just you wait yeah right this has really shattered my sense of faith in you as a human i thought we would always be

friends sarah i've done nothing wrong and i'm sorry if you're bummed but this line of texting today has really deeply let me down and broken my trust as a friend she said i'm showing your own text i'm just showing your own text to me can you put yourself in my shoes for a sec how i might feel gaslit by your behavior and communication he said i'm happy to speak on the phone but no that is a good point he's like i can't believe you'd screenshot text and she's like i'm just screenshotting i agree but he's triggered because apparently recently he had a breach of trust within his close personal friends he says so to say you feel gaslit when i was being nice is absurd you are hurt that i kissed someone and be getting to date fair you have not been gaslit when I was being nice is absurd. You are hurt that I kissed someone and I'm beginning to date.

Fair. You have not been gaslit. You have been treated, in fact, incredibly both emotionally and financially. Woo. I just saw that word. That's a whole other thing. I guess. Anyway, go on.

What? I believe that because I went down a deep dive on her Instagram story, she said no to a lot of jobs and opportunities because he was asked, I think he paid for her and helped pay for law school and helped pay for therapy. But she was sort of starting to say goodbye and no to work opportunity stuff

for him for the relationship. Right. Okay. So it seems like at this point there's been a transition whereas before she was uh prepping for her deposition and now jonah is prepping for his deposition because everything he's saying at this point is like defend it's like very he's aware that he's being screenshot

yes i am i know this is coming and i am going to say everything perfectly above board here and i think he's doing a pretty good job other than like... Yeah, I mean, this goes on and on. It goes on for a long time. I can't even imagine reading through all of this. I don't even care. What this comes down to is like this is not something that we should be seeing at all.

This is just a breakup bullshit. Yes, what the fuck? Final thought. Let's just say what it is. This is an invasion of privacy go to therapy share this with your girlfriends we've all done it i mean my fucking i go through my photos sometimes and it is literally like i have probably 70 000 photos on my phone 10 are screenshots of texts from guys that would never love me to my girlfriends okay i would never in my wildest dreams go on and post them on my instagram story it's an unhinged behavior there's no question about it it's not

a good look i don't jonah might not have acted perfectly in this one thing i did enjoy that isn't on this buzzfeed thing that i was reading from he said that he didn't want pictures of her ass up but it was the number it was the picture there was an ass picture that she posted which is the reason they started dating and talking on dm yeah no i mean that might be to say that like they should have broken up because jonah hill's boundaries were crossed and but he should have known that those boundaries are going to be crossed when he started dating a girl that he went after i think you said stripper but surfer yeah he yeah he knew what she was when he went in so he should have maybe he learned along

the way he can't handle that whatever it is we shouldn't be seeing this this is it's noah said it before you feel like this is doxing well yeah i just don't feel right about uh tar and feathering someone we weren't there for their relationship we don't know the about tar and feathering someone. We weren't there for their relationship. We don't know the whole story. And I just agree. To me, doxing is one of the most cruel things. I don't care who it's about. I just don't like it.

And I wish that it won't happen. It's cruel. I know. As soon as this all was posted, I felt like this girl needs some help and probably needs to go see a therapist and get some... She seems not quite well.

Or maybe she's seeing too many. We do have BetterHelp as our sponsors, so I wanted to say, I believe that therapy is very helpful. And you could use promo code, I think Nikki Glaser. Jonah Hill. To get... Yeah. Promo code. Jonah Hill. is very helpful and you could use promo code uh i think nikki glazer jonah hill to get yeah but listen this people were i think everything the initial response was like how

dare this guy and then i think now the tide is kind of turning and people are kind of opening their eyes to like why do we even get to see this in the first place? And yeah, I just feel, I feel like this girl, I felt this way before when people have moved on too quickly and you want to, you're hurt and you know that you can't get them back.

So why not just, and you're kind of releasing it to like warn other women. Yeah, I was thinking about her end game or her motive we were talking about motives earlier and i heard her say in a voice memo that her motive was to reach this new girlfriend and mom of his kid and i'm wondering why why not just dm her yeah and and also i think to educate other women like this is not boundaries this is controlling

behavior this is asking me to um you know her it's not her job anymore who asked her to be the savior of all women yeah i don't think this was healthy on either side but i don't feel like we should be reading these texts and it does it doesn't make you think like judge nicky verdict yeah jonah in the case of jonah versus i don't know the girl's name i don't want to date jonah hill i don't feel like this would be someone that i could date because of the way that i i would feel very upset if someone asked me to remove stuff like that or like thought i was being like slutty or wanting attention for doing the thing that like is required of my career like what does he expect her to to swim in and to

surf in like a burka i don't get it i think he asked for a wetsuit that's fucking crazy i'm sorry it's insane he shouldn't have asked that stuff but i also the verdict is guys watch out for yeah guys i mean just know that your your texts aren't safe and that and girls like rereading this where he was like you could see the shift in the way he talked his grammar got better his sentence structure got more complete right after he realized she was screenshotting it was like uh-oh time for damage control and this is gonna be on the podcast he should have realized it earlier you know that this is um oh fuck my voice lesson i didn't text my fucking teacher that it wasn't happening today god damn it um but yeah he should have realized it earlier um that this was gonna be a problem but this is when guys are just like horny and they're not

thinking and they send they shoot off texts to some hot girl like just jerk off before you text someone stop dating people who are going to screenshot your text stop dating girls in their 20s yeah is she in her 20s i'm guessing she is yeah and he's like nearly 40 he's my age so yeah stop dating women in their 20s um and yeah i mean that i guess that's the takeaway from it there's one line uh on jonah hill's text that he deserved it that says um i want to i want to highlight that says you have not been gaslit, which is like... I don't think you can say that sentence. I don't think you can say that.

You can't? Why is that wrong? It's an oxymoron. To tell someone they haven't been gaslit, you're like... It's gaslighting. I'm like, grammatically, that was correct. But I do believe that gaslighting has taken on a new fucking...

Everything's gaslighting. Someone on Reddit recently was like, gaslighting has taken on a new fucking, like everything's gaslighting. Like someone on Reddit recently was like, gaslighting, by the way, if a guy lies to you, it's not gaslighting. Like gaslighting does require lying, but not every lie is a gaslight. Like gaslighting equals lying, but lying does not equal gaslight.

I was also confused about her calling it gaslighting because I think he said like, we haven't sexted in four, five months or something. And then she screenshotted and he's like, fine, four months or whatever. I'm getting the details wrong. But it was like one month off. That doesn't really make it gaslighting.

It's a little bit because she said, he said three months and then she proved him wrong with a month and a half earlier. He said, I'm holding my dick. And then he said three months and then she proved him wrong with a month and a half earlier he said i'm holding my dick and then he goes two months so it's like no it's a month and a half like that kind of stuff but i don't care about semantics who care like it's not a crime well now his girlfriend knows now or his baby mama or whoever he's with now knows and honestly i i wouldn't care if i were her i'd be like yeah I would just be like, why did you date a girl that would do this?

What's wrong with you? It's like The Bachelor last year on The Bachelor. Remember the guy like told everyone like just so you, I want to be transparent. I fucked everyone

on this show and the girl was like, I don't want to know that. I don't need to know. I know I'm going to have people coming after me or like thinking that I'm just like anti-woman

but I just think I'm pro-mental health and just think i'm i'm i'm pro mental health and i think this girl needs a better outlet than her instagram stories to process all of this and that i don't think her motive is to protect women and to educate women and to help girls that were in the same spot as she was maybe she i think it's just to hurt the woman he's with that's what i think she's trying to do because she's jealous. But I also think we should be gentle with both of these people because everybody's hurting

and I was 20 and crazy before too and I remember thinking like, if I found out someone cheated on someone I know, I would tell them because I would want to know and then as I got older, I'm like,

it's none of my business. Like I slowly learned things are not, some things are my business and some things are not and this whole thread felt like none of my business. Like I slowly learn things are not, some things are my business and some things are not. And this whole thread felt like none of my business. And I went far down.

I'm glad we spent a good 45 minutes on it. I love you guys. Thank you for listening to the podcast today. I hope you enjoyed yourselves. I'll see you on set, Brian, in just a second. And thank you, Noah and Anya. Happy marriage, Anya.

And we'll see you next week on the show. Don't be cute. And just don't text girls that you might think are going to screenshot your stuff. Okay? Come on. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.