The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #359 Gooning, Gilgo Beach Murderer Fun Facts, Shouting Matches & TMI on Instagram

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

Nikki notices Brian's "buff"...it doesn't have anything to do with his body. Nikki finds that women preen when they like a guy. She shares a new hack for "gooning" longer while masturbating. Brian shares funny facts about the Gilgo Beach murderer. This leads Nikki into getting into the concept of no free will and why she'd love an execution. They talk about crying and intense couple arguments. Nikki talks about her Family Feud appearance and how much she loves her family. In the Final Thought they discuss Bebe Rexha giving TMI on IG. ------- Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Here's Nikki. Hello, welcome to the show. It's Nikki Glaser Podcast Here's Nikki Hello, welcome to the show, it's Nikki Glaser Podcast I'm here in Los Angeles with Brian Frangie next to me What's up? Did you just decide to throw on a sun hat over the headphones? Yeah, it doesn't fit Nope, it doesn't No, it's just a Gilligan-esque Well, it's hot out, it's 100 degrees

So that makes sense It's 100 goddamn degrees Long sleeves You dress like you're going on an expedition in the Arctic most of the time. And it's 110 degrees outside. No, you know what I dress like? An 85-year-old man going to the beach. Yeah, that is it.

I don't want any sun to touch my skin at all. Did someone bully you? I just knocked over your... No, it's okay. Just leave my Invisalign on the floor. It's fine. It's fine. You don't even want to touch that.

It belongs there. Yeah. Do you just like to cover up. You don't want to get sun exposure. I don't want to put on sunscreen because then I get all sticky. And then what I hate about sunscreen is that about around 4 p.m. You start, it starts dripping into your eyes and then you start having eye pain and you start tearing up and I don't want to deal with that.

Is that so much to ask? That's why you wear so many layers. Because you have a scarf that Noah pointed out, but you said it is not a scarf. It's a buff. It's a buff. What's the difference between a buff and a scarf? Well, a buff is made of cooling moisture wicking material

that you can wet and it'll keep you cool if you wet it with wet, cold water. Yeah, that feels good. Yeah, that's nice. And my shirt is also very breathable. It's probably actually cooler to wear this shirt than to wear like a cotton t-shirt. Why not white though? Wouldn't a white color be

better for not overheating? I don't own a white one. Okay, well that makes sense. Brian is highly flammable right now all these materials will just ignite if he's next to the candle what is everybody saying aren't you hot and on fire and we know that those are flammable at all um what i have a question though sometimes when people walk into this room that we are so frequently in here, you will put the buff over your mouth.

Yeah. Sometimes I do that. Is that a, what, what you look like you're about to rob a bank. It looks like you're a little, a bandit on the run. Is that, cause sometimes you'll do it and it's like almost like you want to protect

them from your breath or you're worried about COVID or something. And, and I can see them like tense up. Like, what did I say? What did I do wrong? But is it just a nervous habit? I don't know if it's nervous. Yeah, I'm throwing nerves on it. Yeah, I think nervous. I don't know why I do it. I was going to say it's because someone comes in here and stinks. Yeah, because they're far away. I thought that too,

but no, it's just, I think it's a little fun, you know? I get bored sometimes and, you know, to pass the time, I'll put my buff in different positions. Okay. Wait, hold on. I'm going to check the camera for a booger. It does make things so much more fun. What did you say? It does make things so much more fun.

Yeah, things are just... I've never had so much fun in a hotel room before. You should get buffs And Yeah Just try it out You're mysterious You get a new persona

Every once in a while Yeah It's something to play with I play with my necklaces Girls have things to like Play with Maybe Allie plays with her hair

All the time Right That means she likes you Yeah well Yeah If you're Peacocking Yeah

Well no You don't even mean to Girls just start like Kind of preening Yes Is that the word When you like a boyocking yeah well no you don't even mean to girls just start like kind of preening yes is that the word when when you like a boy you just start kind of like trying to make it look better i guess but you're also nervous so you're just like i like somebody i do this i just rub my arms yes i do a lot of arm rubbing well i think you do that because you're like trying to draw attention to your arms and your skin and you're trying to be like, like, it's like almost a sexual movement. You're like, touch me like this.

Yeah. This is how I do it. I think that's it. I've done that before. Do you guys know the hug position? In sex? No, like to comfort yourself, you can go like this. These are so not sexy.

Okay, so you put your, cross your hands across your chest. Yeah. Okay, what? And then it makes your cross your hands across your chest. Yeah. Okay, what? And then it makes your body, it tricks your brain. Yeah, and then it should soothe you. Oh. Yeah, but it doesn't work.

I don't think that would make me so, it's almost like when you're, you try to make it look like you're making out with yourself. Oh, yeah. From behind. I feel like I've seen Nikki in this position. I do that a lot.

Yeah, I crunch up in a little ball i get very like tight i'm scared when i'm feeling anxious i want yeah yeah it's self-soothing so that makes sense i'm trying to get hugged by myself what's your tell when you're like attracted to someone nikki have you ever i've been told that you do a certain i don't make eye contact and i'm really mean to them and they have no idea uh no i think i play with my hair and i'm i'll uh smile a lot and also try to seem disinterested in them not make honestly not make too much eye contact kind and um probably talk about sex stuff try to get the conversation a little bit sexual and i know that some people i think in the past you've been like annoyed by girls that do that on you so i'm sorry to say i do that but i don't do it around people who have never been

like your boyfriend if i ever talk about sex around avi or matt it's not because i'm wanting to fuck them it's just because i also happen to be interested in that topic regardless but I think that when I like a guy I'll just try to steer it to like not even sex like relationships or like just and it's not for me to be like think about me as your girlfriend I want to get information about their situation

or how they might be in bed or like if they're a sexual person and I might try to get them to see me in that light a little bit i don't know um i do think i have seen you once in a while be like nervously um antisocial which i'm like wait why is she not talking at this point and then later i find out nervously anti-semitic no i'm always confidently anti-semitic no um yeah i think i i do get uh quiet and nervous and i get not funny like that's there's no funniness because you can't mix the two yeah if i have a new thing you guys

if you don't want to come too fast yeah i figured this out did i share this yet if you're masturbating and you are coming too fast aka me recently and masturbation is one of my favorite things i like to like spend a lot of time favorite things i like to like spend a lot of time doing it i like to like uh what's it called i think it's called gooning oh yeah gooning that's yes you can yeah it's so embarrassing what this term is what is what gooning is like the face you make when you're about to come and i think they like coined gooning is like when you try to extend christmas eve before the christmas so you just goon a lot when you try to extend Christmas Eve before the Christmas. So you just goon a lot.

So you're just like, oh, gooning. That would be so funny. If you went home and like your family set up Christmas decorations like on December 1st and go, you guys are really gooning Christmas this year. I was always trying to goon Christmas. I was always the last one to open presents. That is hilarious. I never wanted it to end. I'm always the last person to open presents. That is hilarious. I never wanted it to end. I'm always the last person to open a present

because I just want it to last forever. Yeah. And so I've been trying to, I've always been very good about not. It's also called edging. Yeah, edging. Yeah. It's the same thing, kind of.

Gooning. I think gooning has a connotation that like somebody is forcing you to goon. Oh. Yeah. Like your goon is a negative connotation edging is like what you'll see on red to be like i edged for 45 days yes i haven't come yet and then gooning is like you're just a little piece of shit gooning yeah it does have a negative can't come

but goon used to mean like you're a doofus. Will you look it up, Noah, what the definition of gooning is, please? Because, yeah, gooning doesn't sound good. No. And there's the goonies. Oh, okay. I got it. It goes on for way too long. Gooning is a state into which one gets

when one is highly aroused. Gooning typically describes male behavior rather than female. According to Urban Dictionary. Nikki's going in. I'm gooning. What's a female goon? Gooness.

Yeah, but gooning. And so I was having a lot of trouble because I think after I got that hormone pellet in my ass or whatever, like I can't goon. I'm just like, I don't know if this is relatable I don't even know I don't want to get too graphic because I don't it's just gross but you know when you like are about to climax like I usually have control over that moment and I can like not I have I have a lot of uh self-control it's almost like anorexic like where you're like I have a plate of food in front of me I'm not going to eat it even though i want it so bad and i'm like forcing myself not to and i feel like superior because

i'm not like i just i feel in control i have no control over it anymore until i realized if i laugh if i force myself to laugh even a fake laugh a fake smile instantly deflates my arousal wow and takes the pressure away and then i can continue goonin and so if you're about to come start laughing just a fake laugh because your body can't do both you're it's it's it's almost it's like physically impossible to both laugh and come you can't uh it's there's yeah you can't be horny and laughing at the same time. It's so true. Defenseless or something. There's the opposite things.

But so I found like the easiest thing. The other night I just was like, oh, this is too soon. I want to watch a couple more videos. I want to extend this because that's like the most fun part. And so I just go like, ha ha ha ha.

Like to myself. I mean, it's fucking crazy. No, it's not sounding, but it works. so if anyone wants to try that just laugh or smile if you're with a person and so you don't want to like laugh weirdly just smile into a pillow or something and i swear to god your body like reacts to your smiling

as like we have to turn off the the the cum wave has to stop it would be very confusing if someone saw you doing this you're gooning and you're going, ha ha ha ha ha. It's crazy. I hope this hotel room's not haunted. Because those ghosts have moved on to another room. Or they're sticking around because it's very entertaining. Goon used to mean, back 20 years ago, just like a doofus. Like a guy who makes a...

Like goonies. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. And in high school, I had this friend who, he called me a goon and I called him a goon. And so we instituted this thing called the Goon Challenge. And throughout our lives, I'm still friends with him. Throughout our lives, we would have these competitions.

Like even if it was in high school, it'd be like, we're playing hangman on the chalkboard before class, whoever wins, that's one point in the Goon Challenge challenge and we kept track of who has more points over the course of many years and whoever would lose would be the the ultimate goon but where did you leave off well here's where we left off we kind of after after college and stuff yeah and then you know he uh took his own life because i was himself he hangmaned himself. Yes. No, but after I went to college, I kind of stopped gooning each other and many years later, I

just randomly started sending him anonymous packages from Amazon. You know, you can send a package. You can send an Amazon package to anybody. To anyone. Anyone you want. And they won't know who did it. I just find things on Amazon that say goon on them or a movie called Goon or a book that has Goon in the title. And I anonymously send him one like every few months.

That is funny. Does he not know? Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan. I bet you sent that. Okay, that's great. I have not sent that yet. I've sent it. She's a good writer.

That book was so hard to get through. Oh, really? There's a children's book called Goodnight Goon, which is like a parody of Good Night Moon. I've seen that. Yeah. Send them that. There's a hockey movie called Goon. How do you know so many Goon books, Anya?

First of all, you are always like, I wish I read. You read the Goon. Jennifer Egan, you read a book? I did, Nikki. No, you always are like, I wish I could read books. I've never heard you reading. I know. wish I could read books I've never heard you Reading I know

Who recommended this one I've never even heard it My friend Heather Larimer In Portland Who's very literate And she Recommended it It's about

A record label Person And band So it was like All like this But it was very It was like Daisy Jones and the Six

Way more erudite than that don't use that word oh wow erudite do you Noah look up erudite I don't I like

all Noah's searches will be goon definition erudite erudite I'm thinking is like thinks you're more book smart

than you are like is using the word erudite erudite i think it's trying to sound learned yeah exactly that's exactly what it is well that's ironic that the word is what it is like you're erudite if you you i don't think you were being erudite but it's it was just having or showing great knowledge or learning ah So yeah, you're kind of airy tight if you use that word. Yeah, I'm gooning. That's an SAT word.

I remember it from the SATs, but I didn't quite remember what it means. My new word that I'm trying to use a lot. Oh, fuck. What was it? Goon. No. After today, for sure. What was it?

It's something that Sam Sahara said the other day and now i forgot it but i wrote it down and i was really good i can't believe i remembered it it's so hard to pick up a new vocab word and and use it yeah i forgot what the number was but it's like you you're ever the average human only has like 600 words total or something stupid like that whoa spurious spurious so sam heresy yeah do you know what that means you guys anya probably does that's another sat word i don't know but i don't remember what it means i think it means like like you're a liar oh sorry i was gonna guess liar like you're spurious claims like spontaneous i think it means like you're just yeah you're full of false information

well furious means that you're what's the us suffix I don't know what it means I can't figure it out I didn't take Latin we're such idiots I'm gonna look up false or fake okay spurious that's a good spurious you know what assiduous

means I know what assiduous means it means a tree in a forest with a bunch of green yes so assiduous assiduous no assiduous uh means hard working like you're buckling down you're an assiduous worker man i only get that from one of the sats because my friend used to say assid ass down and work that's good that's like um when people are trying to remember the strains of weed and it's like sativa is wait no indica is in the couch oh because it makes you lazy but then sativa i'm always like it means sat in the couch yeah so i know both of them sound like you're just in the couch why are we so stupid and when i say we

no i mean human beings like we need to have some dumb nursery rhymes remember a word because there's too many things there's too many things now you we used to just have to know like we didn't even have words we used to just grunt and like know what berries would make us vomit i don't even know what berries anymore well you went on you became like a an expert hiker didn't you go did you see my hat okay he learned all of this how to dress for the heat and stuff like this he does know more than us because he went on a survival i took well i took the sierra club wilderness uh travel course there's a three month intensive backpacking course that uh culminates in uh snow camping in the mountains and me and Allie took it Allie is such

a trooper for taking this she was like what is this and then I signed her up Jesus Christ and we did this course and it was way more intense than we thought it was gonna be no I think she actually that was so Julie Glazer just then she loves me wait No she likes She likes outdoor stuff That's part of your relationship She likes outdoor stuff But this was like Intense This was

And literally Literally Intense And out of tense Yeah And we We were gonna quit at points But like

And also it's like The people were nice There was plenty of nice people But you know When people sign up For a class like this Or a club like this You know there's always

Gonna be Show offs Several Well there's show offs and then there's several just insufferable people oh yeah um tell us about one of them well um one of them like supported russia in the war in ukraine and like his mom was there. I didn't know she was into that kind of thing. He was actually pretty nice. But like, you know, sometimes stuff like that would come up. And then like there was just I called it a culture of darkness. Okay.

Yeah. Where they were just so they wanted you to wake up at like two o'clock in the morning. So you can get to the trailhead at four o'clock in the morning. So you can start hiking before the sun rose. And I would get there and I'd be like why are you doing this like this isn't fun to torture yourself well that's why i would ask you why yeah why do they do that but but why did you even do this thing that they could do that to you you like a certain amount of torture i wanted to learn i wanted to learn what did you learn what could you tell us from your wilderness training that like is important for someone i just read last night that people are going to death valley for like the hottest place in the world yeah as

just like a tourist it's turning into like a tourist trap to like i'm going to this place that's like 150 degrees outside and there's only three gas stations for an area the size of like the Grand Canyon. And there was all this like, this person was like, I'm from this area. Do not go here as a tourist. And they're like, if you go in a car that is like so brand new,

like that you trust, because it's like so dangerous. And they were giving all this advice. You need three gallons of water per person in the car. If your car, if they don't drive on a spare tire if you're if you can you imagine driving into the death valley and then you get a fucking flat and then you keep going they were like if you get a flat turn back around it's like

yeah no shit i'm going to death valley on new year's eve this year okay yeah i have a whole plan well it's one of the national parks and i have to go to all the national parks. Oh, yeah, you do. And we are going to rent a Jeep to go to like the... I think that person was like a little bit maybe like... Overzealous about how dangerous it is? There's like two little towns that are in Death Valley that you can stay at like a nice like spa. I mean, it's like, it's not quite like that. Really?

Yeah, it's more like, it's almost like... It has the word death in it. Yeah, well, that's why it's not quite like that really yeah it's more like it's almost like and if you have the word death in it yeah well that's why it's so cool yeah if you go in the middle of summer it'll be like 150 degrees and you'll burn up and die but if you go in like the winter time it's like 70 degrees oh so i have a question you went with ali for three months on this venture it's like once a week for three months it's like you like you have seminar, in-person seminars like classes on Wednesdays and then the weekends you do excursions where you camp

and you learn how to make a fire and protect yourself from bears. So do you watch alone the show? I haven't watched it yet but Nikki has entreated me to watch it many, many times I'm so curious how long

You can survive Okay, we have to take a break, let's talk more about survival When we get back John Stewart is back In the host chair at The Daily Show Which means he's also back in our ears On The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast The Daily Show Podcast Has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture.

You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts all right we're back um okay so what did you learn in this wilderness course that you could teach us um well a filter do you know the rules of three the rules of three i i know the uh 10 the 10 essentials what's the rules of three the rules of three from what i learned is you can only survive

like in the extremes um three hours without shelter three days with without water and 30 days without food. 30 days without food? Oh, yeah. We've done that, Nikki. Well, that sounds right to me. Not true. Yeah. Okay, three days without water. That seems kind of long.

Yeah, I mean, you probably get heat stroke or something before you die of thirst. I think hypothermia sounds like the best way to die because apparently most people are found um with all their clothes stripped off because you start to feel like you're hot yes and then you just curl up in the snow and you like have you know people who have been on the brink of dying have reported that it's like really warm and sunny and a lovely like kind of passing away i i think you're right you get uh you get you know you start hallucinating and it's um it's kind of lovely yeah i mean but heatstroke doesn't sound good

heatstroke sounds almost you're just hilarious you fall off a cliff if you have heatstroke oh jesus christ if you have heatstroke uh you will just you won't die from the heatstroke you'll probably fall off a cliff and hit your head on a rock and die that way because you're just so weak and you're still trying you're just stumbling around you don't know what's going on you don't know where you are you're trying to chop down a cactus trying to get the water out of that yeah no it's not good that's smart it would give me nothing i'd be trying to get reception on my phone and just like fly off trying to post on tiktok yeah just the last goodbye yeah um i uh did yeah i was gonna bring up the death that i read about this weekend that i sent my friends this woman was like sleeping in some grass some tall grass like a homeless woman okay and someone by the way she

did not oh no she didn't look homeless because they were like well that's the new thing home anyone can be homeless now because our fucking society's so fucked up so there's recent pictures of people who are homeless that do not look homeless because they weren't homeless a week ago but they are homeless because they can't fucking afford to live anymore so she was like pictured her last picture was like at a party with a guy and she has like a normal outfit on she has like a plate with like some food on it and that was like the picture they showed at least that i saw and then now she's homeless and um someone was a huge john deer tractor and apparently her family was like there were chunks of her everywhere oh god but

then they had a picture of her jeans that she was wearing and like her top and there was no there was no blood or anything on them so i don't know what what was what but it was in modesto california where scott peterson allegedly killed lacey oh my god not even allegedly i think he's convicted but my friend taylor mcgraw says that he's innocent so who the fuck knows i've watched two scott peterson documentaries and what are you very confused it's so confusing by that time you're watching you're like oh my god there might not have been time for him to do it he really was gone taylor said just because someone is cheating and their wife gets murdered does not mean they

did it it could just be a coincidence just because you're googling chloroform and a life insurance policy before they die you it could be coincidental there is someone out there that has googled chloroform or just been interested in like is maybe and just google it every day their wife happens to go missing yes and then it looks so bad oh yeah no no good everyone thinks you're guilty but like there is at least one situation out there where that is coincidental and that's what taylor says it's like it's not it's just coincidental that he was cheating on his wife and lying about it and all these things and wanting to get out and then she goes missing yeah he's gone for an hour when lacy's home and he's like riding his boat around

the bay and then there's this robbery that happens across the street from lacy's house with these guys in a van and they're loading shit from the house across the street. And Lacey goes, what are you guys doing? What are you doing? And a person, a neighbor, drives by, sees Lacey crouching near the van, looking scared. And they're like, it looked like she was urinating or something. Where was all of this during the trial? They wouldn't admit that into court because of some weird thing.

But it's in one of these documentaries that the neighbor's like I drove by and I saw Lacey talking to these guys and she looked a little scared and I couldn't tell and somebody else was like I saw Lacey Peterson I'm scared anytime I'm talking to men in my neighbor's driveway. Yeah. And that was right around the time she

was murdered. I look scared all the time. If I got murdered people would be like I saw Nikki earlier today at Starbucks looking scared talking to the barista about how this was supposed to be almond milk like it would everyone would be implicated because i would just look like a guilt like i'm just like crouching by everyone yeah you know do you mind if do you guys have an extension cord i'm sorry i forgot whatever you apologize quite frequently. Yeah, I do. But I am genuinely sorry. No, no. For existing.

It's my mom's and dad's fault. They got a little randy on September 11th, 1983. I think I was conceived on their anniversary, the year anniversary of their wedding, because it kind of backtracks. September 11th? Well, yeah, my parents' anniversary is September 11th. Oh, my God.

I've always known that day as a tragedy. That's my joke. But yeah, my other joke is that on their anniversary every year, I, you know, ride on their car with like white shoe polish, like happy anniversary. And they have to just drive around all day with that. That would be so awful. They're the two towers of your life.

Yeah, they are. I'm building seven. And I don't know what any of this is. So I forget what I was saying, but yeah. You're always apologizing. But I think it's because, yes, you're apologizing for your existence, but you also, you're recognizing when other people might feel like a little bit bad. And so you're just acknowledging

other people's experiences by apologizing more so than I think most people would. Yeah, I'm very aware. But I don't like to pat myself on the back about being like, I'm so intuitive about how people feel. But I feel like I might be. I don't know how other, and maybe I'm projecting a lot of times, like I would be I don't know how other and maybe and I'm projecting a lot of times like I would

feel this way but um I like to get ahead of anyone possibly thinking I'm a bitch or having and not to control the narrative about me so much because I don't kind of I kind of don't care when I find out people think I'm a bitch I don't care if I was one I'm just like okay well that's fine I've kind of let that go but I just don't want people to think, like the other day, I changed my mind about something that a lot of people had prepared something for. And I felt bad because people had gotten to work early. They had put a lot of work into like thinking that I was going to do this thing.

And then at the last minute, I was like, I don't want to do this at all. I'm so mad. I should have said no to this at the first start of the thing. And so I had to send a lot of texts apologizing to each person that was involved yes just in case they thought i carelessly was just like you know um disregarding of their time and not and not caring because that would make me feel shitty i would just have i would be like and I think when you're, I think it's easy for people to think that celebrities think that they're better than everyone else and they don't care about other

people. And sometimes I don't. Like sometimes you get treated so nicely, you forget that all the work that goes in to treat you so nicely. Yes. And I like to try to remember that, I guess. But I can be bad about it sometimes. One of your goals.

You're generous with an apology, yeah you know thanks one of your goals in life is to uh have some on some set somewhere where you're not on it the hair and makeup person says i met nikki glazer and they go oh how was she and they go she was actually really nice yes that's your goal i like it always comes back to me when people i saw someone the other night and he said my girlfriend was a makeup artist for you on some project and i was like and of course i don't even know why i got tense i've never once been rude to a makeup artist and maybe maybe i have unintentionally but never intentionally and um i was still nervous but he was like she said you were so nice and i was like ah, ah. And yeah, I get off from being one of the celebrities that people have nice things to say about.

Whenever there's a subreddit. Yeah. I was just watching an episode of the Kardashians. I've been getting into this season. And you kind of overlook moments when people might be rude. But there was this one scene when Kris is getting her makeup done by this guy. And he's like, they cut off the scene but it's right when he goes it was so lovely meeting and she completely ignores him and she's like let's go shopping girls like completely ignores him twice and it was one of those things where if you're watching the show you wouldn't even notice

it and it'd be like a nothing moment but i was thinking that was really rude like yeah he was talking to her and he's like you look beautiful she doesn't address him she goes i look amazing and then he goes it was so lovely meeting you and she's just on to the next thing yeah nothing just gets out of the chair i catch myself doing that a lot where i just don't i'm just focused on what's next and i don't hear the person next to me and so i can come off as rude and it's unintentional this weekend carlisle i was over at her apartment and i was just feeling low and she's like you need to do like an nad like a iv drip and so she's like let me just call and so she calls this like med spa and she's like you know has them on speaker and she's asking this girl all these questions about

nad and it ends up being like 750 you can get an nad push into your iv that you're already getting but what is nad i don't it's mad like energy yeah it's like energy it like helps with brain fog none of this stuff i really believe i think it's all placebo like that's like a ball like i know yeah i should change that but it's nad i don't know i don't think people are that like focused on balls you're upset i'm spurious so nad she's like get it she's like if i had your money i would do this every day she is always telling me that she's like if i had your money i would do this to my neck i would do this to my face i'm like are you thinking what i should do to my face and neck but um she's always telling me things like that so she's like let me just call and so she calls and this girl is like giving us all this information talking for so long and then i just go to carl i'll go i'm not

gonna do it she's like okay thanks bye and like just hangs up on her really quick and the girl's like have a great day you know like hangs up and i go car. And the girl's like, have a great day. You know, like hangs up. And I go, Carlisle, that was so rude. She was just focused on doing what I was telling her to do. So she wasn't focused on the girl in the other line. So she just hung up on this girl. And I'm always, when there are people that help me on a phone call, I'm always like, I wait for the, thank you.

Have a good day. You have a good day too. I really appreciate your time. Like, I like to give them something so they don't so they don't because i know that telemarketers have lost faith in the world sure people are just rude to them all day long and i go call out you can't if someone has given you seven minutes of their time going over their menu what this thing does for you how the ivs work the pricing plan it doesn't matter if you're not going to use it you have to thank them for their time and you know i i know it's their job but like i do hang up sometimes when i get a spam call and

she's like hi this is tevin i go honey i'm so sorry i can't do this right now bye and i i will hang up without getting a response from them that's different because that's that's someone trying to sell you something this is a receptionist who like unwilling like just just took the call yeah carl out made yeah you called her and that girl could have customers lining up in front of her who she's giving like the one minute finger to because she's talking we've all been into a place where they're on the phone with someone who's asking about every fucking detail of their menu and you're like bitch just look online right why does the phone get precedence for the person who's actually there the phone always gets precedence because it's ringing and it's annoying but i like a good hold

yeah sometimes they say uh hello this is the vet please hold and then they put you on hold and then i'm in the counter and i'm freaking out because that person's been on hold way too long they got a dying dog it's not got either side oh i i stress out i just go get the call just take care of it like i'm uh i'm sorry i'm even here um i meant to bring up though another thing another topic yeah uh the gilgo beach murderer long island's most famous unsolved murder anything about this he was caught i don't know about this i girls chat referenced it and i just and called it like the dildo beach murder they were making dildo references i haven't heard about this what is this he is a uh a guy who turns out he looks like exactly what you think a serial killer would look like oh my every fucking time just describe him you've never seen him right okay describe this guy bald old beautiful beautiful uh like good looking uh age spots all over uh no um iris just all pupil um

molester glasses that's that's okay scraggly like unkept hair yes let's go unkempt hair yes um blondish i think so yeah i'm not just messed up yeah Just messed up Yeah What about his body type? Borderline obese Yes Yes Border Like a big Intimidating man Oh really? Yes

And who is he murdering? Oh my god So the Gilgo Beach There he is But he normally has glasses too And he's He looks like a football coach He's an architect

Oh wow Terrifying guys He's not You could tell he's probably A good-looking guy at one point i i kind of like his hair it's kind of like donna hair it has like uh that hair would have been killing it it's like rob thomas hair 1999 rob thomas his hair would have been killing it too yeah okay so what should you can't have that kind of long hair if you're a serial killer that stuff's fallen out and that's very noticeable and then yeah dna oh yeah no no he well he was he was he was very good at hiding his uh victims um he hid them at gilgo beach in the marshes and how

long was he murdering for um he murdered from what what I understand, I'm no expert, but I believe he murdered four people and he buried them in the marshes. And the thing about the marshes is if you bury a body in a marsh, it like decomposes instantaneously. Like animals eat it. I think it's called a bog body. Oh, bog body.

A bog body? What's that? Sounds like a new trend on TikTok where you try to get... Bog Body. You like lay in a bog and it like eats your fat or something. Okay. So he knew how to get rid of these bodies fast.

I guess so. Or he just got lucky. But he put all the bodies in the same area in Gilgo Beach. And they were there for years. And he was not caught. That happened in like 2007. Were they hookers? There were four prostitutes yes

so there's more you can't just kill four prostitutes over a 20-year span no fucking way there's got to be more so there's some funny and also disturbing things from i read the uh my friend is actually a police officer in suffolk county where this happened and um he's like giving us all the updates and i read like the I don't know the police report or whatever and there's a couple of funny things in it yeah one of them is the fourth person that he killed was a prostitute who he went to the prostitute's house to have sex and she was performing what the report described as a ruse okay she performed a ruse where she had the guy she didn't know this guy she was just talking on the phone she had the guy coming to his house she's like give me whatever five hundred dollars

and we're gonna have sex and uh and then the guy gave her the $500. And then she had another man come out pretending to be her angry boyfriend going, who the fuck is this guy? And then kicks him out. Kicks him out and they keep the money. Okay. Little did she know that this guy already murdered three prostitutes. But good thing she has a guy there. Good thing she has a guy there.

But now he's like, he's like zeroed in on her and he uh he calls her up and says that wasn't very nice oh wait she did it to him and he's he scrammed he scrammed but he's not gonna forget he's not gonna forget and she goes that's not very nice next time we do this please make sure that your boyfriend isn't there or maybe he said like we'll do it at a different location. A second location. Yeah. No. That wasn't very nice. It's so scary. That wasn't very nice. It's so scary.

When you know that he's a murderer, it's really scary. Oh, God. So, it was just funny that they described it as a ruse in the report. Oh, and then she got rused. The prostitute was involved in a ruse. So, she met up with this guy again? She met up with him again and he strangled her and threw her in the marsh. Can we just say,

I think society, I mean, I know they do. They don't look at prostitutes as real people. And I think that it can be just like, oh, he just killed prostitutes. No, Peggy. They're just prostitutes. Do you know that we're all prostitutes, really,

that just had better lives than those women? Especially us. We all could have been prostitutes do you know that we're all prostitutes really that just had better lives we all could have been prostitutes if we just had shitty parents no fucking support our whole lives except this one pimp that showed us a little slice of kindness we are all prostitutes we are all any anyone i think sometimes you just think i would never do that i could never do that like these women want to do this they don't want to do it they're sex trafficked they have no other options and they're no different than you and me except that they were just born into a better situation and same with the serial killer to be honest with you too uh we're all just lucky we weren't born with a serial killer's brain and all of us are just a month away from being like that homeless woman

who got lawnmower sleeping and i mean she must have been opioided out because how do you not hear a lawnmower approaching i yeah she might have been in a deep sleep why do you sleep in the you shouldn't sleep in the tall grass either like there's ticks in there it's not comfortable you shouldn't i learned this from my wilderness she was on drugs a lot a lot of drugs and she had a kid um we were supposed to hear brian's so yeah what did you learn oh wait uh well your 10 essentials oh um i'd rather i don't want to say anything about that okay i'd rather i mean it's not interesting enough to say but at the gilgo beach murder i have more information oh please do tell us detective

I mean I can tell you the ten essentials but it's like okay bring water what would this guy do what would he do would he have sex with them

first and then murder them and how would he murder them strangle them strangle them worst way another funny thing is that they asked that angry boyfriend

who was part of the ruse oh yeah to describe the guy who came over when they were trying to investigate. And he said he was, quote, I'm not saying this, he said this and it's in the report,

he was big and scraggly like an ogre. I thought that was funny. He's like, have you seen Shrek? Okay. The other funny thing about these murders is he would only do it uh when his wife went on vacation so this guy had a wife he had a wife and he was an architect with a wife and then uh

everyone buildings did he design i wonder uh the world trade center no he did oh my god he designed i don't know probably some fucking uh you know brutalist german bank or something there's buildings that you and i use every day that this guy had a hand in making i'm sure some internet sleuth is going to find out what they are and they're going to become a destination well um i i do want to uh uh say one more thing About his wife So his wife would go on vacation And every time she'd go on vacation He would go murder somebody

So the first time she went to Iceland The second time she went to Italy And it's like from the wife's perspective If she just stopped going on all these Lavish solo vacations Those women would still be alive Eat, pray, murder Yeah Blame the woman It's her fault lavish solo vacations those women would still be alive eat pray murder yeah yeah sure blame the

woman yeah i'm blaming the woman on this one how bored was he he's like oh i got nothing to do get they need to murder to feel alive it becomes like this addiction for them you know like they they just want it too bad they they know it know it's wrong. They wish, I think that some of them wish they didn't have it. Jeffrey Dahmer, I just from watching that, you know, the. Mindhunter? Not even Mindhunter, the one where, what's his name? Isn't it? Evan Peters.

It just seems like Jeffrey Dahmer didn't want to be a murderer. I don't mean to get on this whole high horse of like, these people don't choose it, but they don't choose their murderous brain. They don't want to like, no one wants to have it yeah but they do choose something it's like if you're a pedophile you have a pedophile brain but you can be a pedophile and choose not to do things to kids you can be a murderer choose that your brain just is lucky enough to be one of the pedophiles that doesn't want that knows a way out like you don't you there's no free will but so you don't choose anything but they have a brain that's on the bingo card fyi but yeah no no yes you could choose to try to i don't believe in when we say choose i'm not

thinking that it's actually your will choosing but um let's just use that word yeah you could choose to go get help for these things but imagine telling someone i want to murder like you can't there's no safe places for these people to go where they won't be reported because if someone has homicidal fantasies they're gonna get reported sure so they really have nowhere to go except to other murderers to share or you know like that that fucking Idaho murderer guy, allegedly. Chat rooms. He went on subreddits and was like, do you, he, what did he ask?

He asked something about what it's like, he, cause he investigated murders. He was going to school for criminology. And so he would just go on these chat rooms and like, talk about like, what do you think they felt after their first murder? And like,

just wanted to hear about stuff like that.playing yeah yeah yeah um god i can't wait for that but i also i will just say that i know i can't wait for any information to come out about that or the delphi murders is my is my number one i want to know what that motherfucker did and how his wife did not notice that he was the guy in the picture. All these people had wives, like BTK or whatever his name was. He had children and a wife. Crazy.

I think he had two kids maybe and they were just like, this guy. And he was dormant for like 20 years and didn't kill anyone. But then he just was like, someone in the newspaper, we're talking about BTK,

he had murdered, got away with it forever. Because I was listening to John Mulaney's stand up this weekend weekend he was talking about old-time murders he's like it's insane that anyone got caught back then because there would be there's no dna evidence so there would be like a pool of blood and the detective would be like mop this up yeah like let's draw a white chalk outline around the body that'll do something like you just like couldn't get caught because there was no dna so btk was getting away with murder literally and then years go by and someone in the kansas city star newspaper was like i guess this guy died or something you know the or he just you know couldn't do it anymore and he couldn't stand that because he wanted to control

the narrative he didn't want people to forget what he did, so he started writing into the Kansas City Star, and then they traced one of his dumb letters to a disk drive from his church that he worked at. So if he would have just not had an ego about it, he would still be out there. How does that play into your free will thing then? If he was able to control himself and not do it for 20 years.

Well, he had a brain that was able to stop doing it for whatever reason. He was born with a brain that had the capacity to stop you know and some serial killers don't and some molesters do have a brain that like oh i want to fuck kids but they whatever for whatever reason they are they stumble upon the right information where they're like oh there's a group of people that talk about not um offending oh i'm gonna join this. You have to be presented with that. You have to have a brain that is capable of even thinking of that way out.

So when you reach for a glass, whatever hand you think you choose to reach that glass with, you can go, oh, I'm choosing with my right hand. But what in my brain made me choose my right hand? I wasn't there for that decision. It just showed up. But you think you have control over it so i won't get more into it but practically i don't want to debate it either but practically speaking there's no debate it's just not it doesn't exist there's it's literally there's no chance perhaps you're right about that but practically speaking it's just it's not a practical way to think about things. It actually is for me because it makes me feel,

talk about feeling guilty all the time and feeling sorry all the time. And when I do, like this morning, I forgot to plug in my laptop for, or last night I forgot to plug in my laptop for this. And so we're fighting against a dying battery. I let myself off the hook for that because in no world would I have ever

chosen to have a half full battery for this podcast this morning. There's no, if I had a choice, it would be full, but I forgot to do it. Not because I chose to forget or because I'm a negligent piece of shit. I just didn't remember. And it's not my fault.

My brain just wasn't turned on that day. Or if I say something stupid, or I'm always, I know my, I just, I'm not, I'm not in charge of my brain. It's just, I wasn't, you know, I don't, I don't take responsibility for my talents because I just was born with a brain that worked this way. And I don't, and I don't have, that means, and it's not often that I do this, but I don't have to take responsibility for my faults either because I didn't choose to be someone who ran over that kid

that July afternoon in 2003. Wait, what? Does that weigh on you? I don't even know what you're talking about. No. So I can let things go a little bit easier that I'm trying my best and Bog body. Bog bods. There's that I'm trying my best. Bogbody.

Bogbods. There's no bogs in my area. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum as you. Yeah. I think everyone is 100% responsible for everything they do, even if they're not. I want you to read this book,

Free Will by Sam Harris. I'll read it. Ah, Sam Harris. Don't believe in therapy. He keeps trying to make me meditate and I'm 10% happier. I read that. You did?

Well, let me tell you, Brian, there are a lot of spurious claims. There are. I read 10% happier and I got 10% more bored. Boom. No, I did. I actually liked it.

I actually liked it. I've been journaling recently a lot more and that's been helping my mental health. And crying, you know, also helps a lot. That's an amazing tool. What the fuck? I know. How many times do I have to say it on this podcast?

I'm just incredibly amazed at how crying alleviates so much right away. It's like you take a shit. It's an emotional shit. Yeah, you're all you take a shit. It's an emotional shit. Yeah, you're all stuffed up. Yeah, it's an emotional shit. And you just feel emptied out afterwards. You feel like bouncier.

You just feel, and I'm never, I don't know why I don't do it. I'm not one of these people that cries and then gets embarrassed afterwards. I'm like, I'm sorry I cried. Like, I really always just am like, oh good, that happened. I don't have any shame around it.

I don't get why I'm not crying all the time. Yeah, no, I think it's the same. You know, some couples get into really intense yelling arguments. I've never related to that. And then they maybe bang out after. Oh, yeah. Like, I think that's the same as crying for them. It's like we have to just do this every once in a while.

If you're one of those couples out there that can scream at each other, how do you do that and not fear that the person's gonna leave you forever how the i whenever i see women that are like you need to fucking do this and you never and they like are screaming at a man i'm like he's gonna leave you what are you doing you shouldn't get it but if they're both yelling at each other and that's just their thing then there's something like i can't i've never once i think i one time i've have yelled at Chris and it was not even at him. It was like at my therapist and it was supposed to bounce off of her and hit him. You know what I mean? Like it was in front of the therapist and he was just like shell shot. Like he couldn't even

believe he was like, what was that? Like where I'm just like, and you do this. Like this is the only time I think I've ever raised my voice because I'm scared of being left. Why is everyone just so sure that everyone's going to stay with them forever? Why does no one have abandonment issues like me? I would never, ever want to stand up to myself in a yelly way to almost anyone, but especially a lover because I'm lucky to even have one. I don't know if that's true. I mean, I think, I don't know. I mean true I mean I think I don't know your relationship has ended and started

so that's probably why you're afraid of that because it actually has happened yes that is a good point but I just I can yell at my parents like that because they're never going to leave they love me unconditionally and that's why I don't even know why I have these abandonment issues because my parents never abandoned me no never emotionally yes all the time

i mean chronically but physically they've never left they're never going to leave until they die and i don't want to think about that or i start crying okay let's just go to break for a second and talk about this more when we get back john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else,

like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, we're back. Do you ever get in screaming matches? I've done that before. It doesn't feel good.

And I cannot recover from that stuff. It takes me like three weeks to regain some sense of like trust in the other person in the relationship. So I'm not a yeller. I had, you know, I've had a couple friends yell at me before where I'm like, who do you like your friends put up with this shit? Like, no, no, no. You can't, you can't talk to me like that. That's been the end of those friendships. I have one friend who screamed at me once and we're still friends, but I let her know this is not.

That's a boundary of yours. Yeah, I guess that's a boundary of mine. I keep thinking about that word since the Jonah Hill thing. Yeah. And like what that means. means yeah i felt like it was misused in a way but i'm still trying to and it feels like the whole culture is like that's not a boundary that's control but like a boundary to me is something that i put to up to protect myself it's not something that i impose on you like you can respect my boundary i guess or not but anyway i have had a friend

scream at me but matt and i don't do that like i really don't like that but we have we've definitely said some words to each other before yes like loudly and fuck you or fuck off or whatever but not a lot like i'm like you get one pass yeah right well we were talking about this weekend on the gc the girls chat and um we're talking about when we get uh when a conversation well you know like i you know you get into something with your significant other and it just is so tense and the one person is annoyed and they're just like okay that's good like that kind of thing like that oh i'm like yeah cool no okay sounds good like that kind of thing like that oh shit i'm like yeah cool no no good like that kind of talk or like i mean i'm i do it i who knows if it's probably worse than yelling at someone

and telling them how you really feel it's the other end of that i guess on the other side of the things it's just as unhealthy but um what do you do when someone says you're supposed to just probably calmly say i don't really appreciate your tone or like based on your tone i feel like you might be mad at me right now can you tell me exactly how you're feeling is that what you're supposed to say that's what i tried to do if you're the one that's if you're sensing them be that way shutting down yeah you say based on the your tone i'm sensing that you're upset with me. Is that true? And could you tell me why or expound on that? I think that points the blame at them.

I think in that scenario, it's best to give them 10 minutes and say, hey, how about we take 10 minutes and then come back and talk about it? Yeah, I have a friend that does a lot of that. And I've learned over the years that the best thing to do is just give them a lot of room. Because every time I've been like, what is this? It's like a fucking nightmare. It just gets worse if I point it out.

It's like, have you ever been like really like, I don't know, like heated over something and someone tells you to calm down? Like what's the thing that you don't do? You don't calm down when someone says it. Yes, relax. And you just can't. Yes.

But how are you supposed to ignore it when somebody is just obviously being passive aggressive? It's like. Yeah, I think that's a discussion. I want to call it out. I think that you're right. It's something like, well, I sense you're being passive aggressive right now

and that is probably going to make you very upset me saying that. So I'm going to take 10 minutes and maybe you call me back when you've maybe have had a change of heart and you want to talk in a different tone with me, but that seems like really punishing. You got to use the magic phrase,

which is, um, uh, when you do X, it makes me feel X. Oh, that's good. I really would like for X, Y, and Z. and z yeah right what about you are fucking annoying

and when you act so fucking annoying it makes me hate you i wish you would do things that i liked i what about this this is one i use a. I know you're upset with me right now. Will you please take a second to realize that I have literally never in my life tried intentionally to make you mad or to hurt you. It's not within my, it's not, I've never wanted to hurt you. I've never done anything that I was purposely like, this is going to make him feel worse about himself.

So will you try to understand that maybe if you're feeling that way right now it was by accident and you could and i can and you can find a way to forgive me because if you if you're coming from a place of knowing do you believe that i would never try to hurt you do you believe that yes or no yes i believe that you would never try to hurt me because why would you be with someone that you think would ever try to hurt you let yes we've all said mean things i i can say that one time i have never try to hurt me because why would you be with someone that you think would ever try to hurt you? Yes, we've all said mean things. I can say that one time I have actually tried to hurt Chris by saying something.

And it was in 2000, like 14. And it was I was really hurt. And I said something that I knew would like it was passive aggressive and I knew would hurt his feelings. And it was one time that I can even think of that I've ever wanted to hurt this person that i love and i admitted to it and it was not a good scene when i admitted to it but at least but i said from now you can trust me i'll tell you if i ever do that again if i catch myself being purposefully cruel but if we're working from a place of i'm never trying to hurt you even if it's subconsciously maybe i am at least consciously i'm not trying to make you mad at me all i want is for you to love me and never leave me can't you see that maybe i accidentally did this thing and you can forgive me for sure and i think that's helped me a lot

is to remind him because i think a lot of times we get hurt because we think the other person is either you know careless meaning they're not, but they're not actually trying not to. Right. Or they are intentionally being cruel, which is just insane. And if you're ever with someone that repeatedly is intentionally being cruel to you, get the fuck out. Oh yeah, that's happened to me. Right?

If you're, isn't it, but isn't it amazing the restraint of the human race in that any... Which race? I'm just kidding. Caucasians. I just want to picture this person, you know? Yeah, like the race of men with scraggly hair and molester glasses.

Yeah, ogres. The race of ogres and that... Bog brothers. Just think about this every day every day you can we all have the power to truly hurt the people around us by saying something oh yeah obviously you can like run them over with your car but i'm not including that but you could like just there are things that you could come up with for for anybody in your life like if i said this to this person it would really hurt them and we all have the restraint to

not do that isn't that something we all deserve a reward for i always think about that on an airplane too like how amazing is it that we have what that we're all just sitting confined on this tiny tube and no one is like screaming or freaking out i mean once in a while but most flights are chill and isn't that nuts that like as a human race we've all managed to just chill the fuck out for sometimes eight hours seven hours quietly on this thing when probably a lot of us are mentally ill though i think it's less about like respecting everyone else and knowing that if you cause a stir it's this is like you can't fuck around that's evolutionary because like if you did

that in the wild they would just kill you yeah you would be ostracized and you can't survive alone no that's what i learned from that show that's true like we need community we need people helping us that's why getting to like child rearing that's why people feel so guilty about getting nannies bitch you had uh probably 300 i don't know how big their tribes were back when we were having kids you had a whole tribe of women helping you rear a child back then yes the hillary clinton book it takes a village it literally takes a village to raise a child and so women are priding themselves on yeah women pride themselves on being like i'm a strong mother who doesn't need

any nannies doesn't need help and i get it like if you can't afford nannies don't get you can't you can't have them and you got to do it on your own and that's kind of what you signed up for and it fucking sucks and it's way harder than you even thought it was going to be and i have so much empathy for you but if you can afford a nannies and you're being holier than thou like i need to do this on your own you're doing your child a disservice yeah because it's not the way you you you are not gonna be well rested and you're not gonna be i would get so many fucking nannies i would get so much help so every time i see my kid i am like the best version the most loving the most present the most i you know that that's what i would do and i'd probably seem on the outside very

neglectful of my child and i'm not around them a lot but it would be so i can show up as the best i mean i think a lot of moms are afraid that the nanny is gonna bond too much with the kid i had lots of i think um i went to nursery school and probably had babysitters i don't remember any of them that's why i tell my friends who get nervous about nannies having too much of a relationship with their child over them and i'm like your kid won't fucking remember this woman consciously though what about subconsciously maybe they've they've well just make sure you get enough like don't only see your child an hour a day like don't don't be completely don't be like i can only give i'm only happy an hour a day like don't don't be completely don't be like i can only give i'm only happy an hour a day and that's the only one that's not what i'm saying like you know don't completely

abandon your child but like i would say treat yourself to a massage let the nanny take over for a bit like do nice self-care things so when you do show up you're relaxed and cool and loving and present i would give my baby to the nanny for like don't remember shit man the the first like eight years and then i take it back i i yeah i would have nannies helping me out a lot um but i would also feel deep shame about that because our culture is so about like who's the best mom and i'm just oh i'm momming so hard right now and i'm a mom like i was with someone recently and they didn't oh yeah it was um fourth of july weekend i was with a couple that has a baby and i'm not joking you they never brought up the baby even once wow and

i was expecting it to be baby palooza like oh you hear about this baby they miss the baby oh i wonder what the baby's doing. Oh, we just got a picture of the baby. Like, I hear about Anya's dog more over a weekend when they're not with the dog than I heard about this baby. And it's not because they're bad parents. They just enjoyed their trip away from the baby. And when I did ask about the baby, my God, they had so much to say. And it was like, you know, the dam broke.

And it's not like they were trying to withhold that but they were just it just seemed like a healthy relationship where it's like the baby's fine we're not gonna be overly like are they okay i need to check in constantly it was just like it was the kind of parent i would want to be and that i probably would not be able to be because i'm so worried about what other people think about me or that nanny might tell people like she spends a lot of time getting foot massages and i'm here all the time and then that gets spread around so i'm not saying i could i would want to be the type of person that could let my kid be with a nanny and kind of forget about it yeah were you watched by nannies uh nannies we never did uh no i had my my grandma uh lived oh i wanted to say that's what i to say, is that you did the right thing.

I think the way to be truly happy is if we all lived in small villages with our families and friends. Like the fact that like when we were in the wild or whatever in tribal communities, we just lived with everybody we ever knew and loved or hated. Just everyone we ever knew all together growing up. And then occasionally someone would go off into the tundra and we'd never see him again. But for the most part, you'd be raising this,

everybody would be raising each other in this village. And by you going back to St. Louis, I feel like you're kind of returning to that type of, you're with your family, you're with people you know, you're in their familiar place. And I think that truly is the key to happiness. And I think that is why so many people are depressed. For example, me, my family is in every single corner of the United States of America. Like I have Seattle, my sister's in Seattle, my brother's have seattle my sister's in seattle my

brother is in boston my mom's in florida my dad's on long island and i'm in la and it's like there's no chance that we'd ever yeah and and um i feel like we we should if we wanted to be happy we need to return to that like village type of life and that's also why i envy people who like live in france because france i just think those french have it all final thought yeah keep going i envy the folks that live in france because it's small because it's small so imagine if everybody that you ever knew and loved lived in pennsylvania yeah and it's like, oh, well, my sister lives in Pittsburgh, even though I live in Harrisburg. And it's like, who fucking cares? You drive two hours.

Yeah. But in America, it's such a big country. So spread out. It's so spread out that you could be literally a six to seven hour flight away from your closest relative. Yeah. But wait, wouldn't that mean then that your tribe member would be that crazy neighbor

with the possums? Yes. No. Well, maybe, but I live next to the possum person because I'm not with my tribe. Yeah. If I was with my tribe, that possum person would have been excommunicado. Yes. Many years ago.

I think you're right. I sensed, I think during the pandemic, when I was at a very low point, not just because of the pandemic, like a low point in my life anyway pandemic when I was at a very low point, not just because of the pandemic, a low point in my life anyway, and I was looking for an out because I was just stretched too thin and I was really struggling. The second I had an excuse to go back home,

I leapt at it. And now I'm out here in LA and I miss my family so fucking much. I just miss being within 10 miles of them. Oh, God. Even though we don't hang out every night. I watched Family Fe feud last night. We were on with,

against BB Rex's family on, um, ABC. I don't know if you guys caught it, but, um, I was like, so excited to just see their faces and how cute they were.

And I was just like missing them so fricking much. And tonight I have so cute. Yeah. Lauren was adorable. She looks amazing on TV. My mom was so pretty and my dad was handsome and cool and matt was there and um no matt was so we were so we're such a cutie family it made me so happy to be a part of such a tight-knit family and i do miss them so much and it really is that's why I'm trying to get all of my friends in one place. I'm trying, like, ideally,

I would just live somewhere where we would all live together and all of our kids would hang out or, you know, our dogs. And yeah, it really is truly what makes me happy is being near family and friends. And I feel that's why it's just felt a little depressed this week because I'm like away from my boyfriend and just like my family and i'm just la no no one noticed it she's like every time you

go to la you seem to get depressed i'm like yeah i i think i do even carla was like why do you hate la i'm so mad that you hate la every time you go and it's like it's not that i'm like everyone's fake and too pretty it's just like it just feels like everyone is kind of a lone wolf out here there isn't that sense everyone's kind of i'm maybe picking up on that vibe that everyone's kind of struggling and it's so fucking hot that my whole climate change stress that i feel constantly is like front and center here you just feel it extra hard tucson must be feeling like end of the world right now do you feel that like does the oppressive heat makes you think like how the world is dying so first of all i love oppressive heat i love i love it and in tucson it's great right now i'm in

new york and it's hot and humid and it feels like i'm in an armpit yeah the humidity is what gets you well i wanted to talk really quickly about bb rexa because i played against her family last night and then last night also was she um i guess the night before her and she was on with her boyfriend it was her she her handsome boyfriend her very handsome boyfriend who's friends with my boyfriend they both work in production and my boyfriend was like when i that day i was on set he was like her boyfriend might be there he's a cool guy he works he's worked on these shows with me and i was like he's part of the team and he's like wow must be nice now like i wish chris could have been there but i had too big of a family um

but then last night speaking of our jonah hill talk last, Bebe Rexha posted on her Instagram story. It is now off, but she posted a DM from her boyfriend. Oh shit. So things aren't good between them, I guess. Oh man. Um, so,

uh, the title of this is Bebe Rexha just dropped a DM from her boyfriend, Kian Safieri. Okay. Comma shames her weight in the DM. Okay. So this person's illiterate whoever wrote this okay so this is from him hey i never said you weren't beautiful and i never said i didn't love you in fact i said how beautiful you are and how much i loved you i don't know why they're dming

by the way yeah don't they boyfriend talk to a family feud with her so apparently they're very close they've been together what's this in response to no there's no response she doesn't share the what else why he's saying this but i always said i would be honest with you and your face was changing so i told you it was that that was the conversation we were having and you asked because i care would you rather i lied to you you gained 35 pounds obviously you gained weight and your face changes question mark should i just pretend it didn't happen and that it's okay oh my god come on i gained three pounds and you call me chubs and fat doesn't mean you don't love me if you're

trying to find reasons to break up this makes sense dot dot dot but it's not the real reason if you're unhappy with me slash yourself slash with life and don't see a future with us then that's okay and that's the reason don't use something like that to weaponize your anger or anxiety or any insecurity you may have you know i always found you to be beautiful and loved you no matter what i think it's important for you to think about things and write things down speak to a therapist oh god screenshot this and post it on your instagram socials no he didn't say that and do this retreat thing to get the to the root of the problem let me know if you like to speak if you let me know if you'd like to speak if you need more clarity. Love you. What an idiot.

Really? Well, he just made the most basic, dumbass Fred Flintstone mistakes. Which are what? You don't comment on your wife's weight. What if she asked? Because it sounds like she did. To me, I feel like she said, you never said I was beautiful,

and do you think my face looks different? Oh my God. Well, you can't fall for that. That's a trap. He says that was the conversation we were having and you asked. Okay, so she did ask. It's a trap.

Does my face look different? So she is, she I guess told him I've gained 35 pounds. He's probably like, I'm not going to say anything, but she's like on a scale and she knows it.

And then she goes, does my face look different? He says yes. And now she's posting this thinking everyone's going to like hate him. And I guess based on that, you know, the intro little line, he shames her. Like people are on board with that. And they did pick up on that, but she's since removed it because I think the tide has turned and people are seeing this for what it is, which is like, you asked. Right? No, I'm not. I don't think it's like his fault or whatever.

I'm just saying, be smarter than that. Don't fall into the trap. If Bebe Rexha goes, oh my God, am I fat now? I don't care who you are. You go, no, you're a beautiful baby. And maybe your face looks bigger because someone threw a phone at it and it's swollen that happened to her a couple weeks ago um you know i love you you're so beautiful

i don't know i don't care but i like that he gains three pounds she calls him fat and chubs i know he's like i've dealt with this for a while he also loves her clearly and says there's nothing like having your face change does not equal i don't love you anymore yeah he said your face changed but it doesn't mean he said i don't love you anymore and i don't want to have sex with you and i like who knows maybe that did get said but it doesn't sound like it got said what do you guys make of this anya same i'm like first of all i want to see the whole context but it does sound like she asked am i beautiful why didn't you say i was beautiful and he's just defending himself and i don't think there's anything wrong with what he said he actually sounds like uh like a pretty emotionally mature guy he's he's just saying yeah your face

changed you asked if it changed it sounds like but we don't know the context so why are people posting these things what is wrong with people i i totally she needs to go throw her phone at someone's face to get it away from her because this is this is not a good look what is happening why are people doing this girls are psyched to like put guys on blast and it sounds like it might have bit her in the ass. She's clearly a beautiful woman and maybe she's going through something right now. Sounds like she's insecure. She's about to go to a retreat. Or maybe she's on,

she changed medication or something. She's going to change it soon. It's going to be Ozempic and we all know where this is going to go and she's going to be as thin as, you know, she wants to be at any point. So the tide will turn

but I just don't like this whole put if he gets back together with her um i mean this is cause for breakup if anyone ever it's an unhealthy relationship altogether message to oh god no that's a breach of trust yes but i do you think he'll get back together with her i mean i would he sounds too emotionally mature to to let especially after like like after showing that because she has like how many followers on instagram probably a million plus yeah at least well if i was uh this guy this guy is in production you know he's not famous guy if i was that guy and i was dating bb rexa a maybe the most famous pop star besides taylor swift right now well no but close she's a she's bigger than sting you definitely asked yesterday

what is a bb rexa song and then i sang it and you did not recognize it so to even claim that i've seen her on billboards okay yes um like doja cat level okay yeah yeah she's pretty close yeah yeah so if i if i was dating bb rexa and i was just like a regular production dude um i would give her many different opportunities to fuck up like that and i would still go back right yeah i mean she's got a leash the the size of uh what's a long rope example? I don't know. Wait, we were playing improv games yesterday. What's in your bag of fun? A long rope leash.

Yeah, a leash the size of a... A bungee cord into the Grand Canyon. Yeah, there you go. Okay, someone did their homework. Okay, so, but I want to say really, the Family Feud was a great episode. Try to watch that. I guess maybe Hulu or something.

I don't know where ABC things are, but with me and my family, it was so funny. We lost so badly. The score was like 680 on the Bebe Rex's score, and we got 13 points next to Bebe Rex's 680. This is true. This family wept the floor with us swept the floor with us and wept uh we wept afterwards um it was so embarrassing it was a lot leading up to that my parents were deliriously tired because they're like 18 flights had been canceled and

they were supposed to get there the day before they arrived literally 45 minutes before the show began um so we have all the excuses in the world. We also didn't know how to play the game. It was explained to us before, but I did not know that when you buzz in at first, the person who hits the buzzer first, I thought, gets to go and then it goes to their team. I didn't know they answer and then the other person

gets a chance to answer too. So when they went to me, I was just like, I don't know. I stopped thinking after she hit the buzzer before me. I didn't know. And that's on me. i should have watched the show and there's so many details i want to talk about but i signed an mda but um someday maybe when i um have a mental illness and it's taken over my brain i'll share all of it we gotta go thank you for listening to the show um we'll be here tomorrow i can't wait um and don't be good and just wear a buff not a scarf catch john stewart back in action on the daily show and in your ears with the daily show ears edition podcast from his hilarious

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