The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #374 Is Anger Nikki’s New Addiction?

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

On this rare occasion it was worth it for Brian to stay up late and work on his Burning Man cartoon because it helped Anya understand what was off about it. Nikki explains how "flailing" people look for meaning. Nikki, Chris and Brian recap celebrating Chris' birthday at Raos in Los Angeles. Nikki revisits a comment she made that got into Deux Moi. Over the weekend, Nikki felt anger like never before when she addressed a heckler in the audience. Anger might be a her new addiction. After telling a story about going to a "chintzy" restaurant everyone gives their take on how much to tip. In the Final Thought, Nikki gives props to Drew Carey and outrageous things Tim Dillon says on his podcast. . Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, before we begin the show today, I just want to say I would love if you came to see me live. It means so much to me. Thank you so much for listening to the show. But when you buy a ticket to come see one of my shows, I just feel so much better knowing that my podcast listeners, my besties are in the audience. I would love to see you next Friday, September 15th at the Chicago Theater. If you or someone you know lives in Chicago, tell yourself or let that person know that I'm going to be there.

I would love, love, love for you to spread the word. It means so freaking much to me. And then the next night, September 16th, Saturday, I'm going to be in Peoria, Illinois at the Peoria Civic Center. So I hope to see you guys there. I love when you're at my shows. It makes me feel this warmth that, you know, no other fan of mine brings me, but don't tell them. I love you, besties. Enjoy the show today. Thank you. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser podcast. Welcome to the show. I am here in Los Angeles,

California with my boyfriend who is now 42 years old. Yeah, that's true. I'm 42 years old. Hey, everybody. Hey, it's Chris Convey from the Courtney Show podcast. Chris Convey, everybody. The night on the eve of his 42nd birthday, I played, Come and see, I swear by now. I just started playing it in bed.

It's like, it's Dave Matthews. And he goes, is this number 41? And I was like, you're damn right it is. It's the only time you can ever listen to it ever again. once you age out of this song you can't go back oh that was so sad it's a good song to not have to listen to dave matthews it's a good song don't you dare don't you dare i'm just saying wait the song is called number 41 it was just the 41st song he wrote and so instead of naming it he just called it number 41 and it has nothing to do with the song anyway um the whole show is here brian frangie is here hello um check out his new clip uh i posted on my story yesterday um because

we're recording this to i posted on my story today but it's yesterday to you. But you can go check his new, he has a new cartoon out about Burning Man that is so, so funny that is on Brian Frangie on his Instagram. Yeah. Go see it. F-R-A-N-G-E.

Brian spelled the name the way you're supposed to. And it's kind of podcast related because I went on that rant at the last episode. Yeah. And now you know why because I was still, I was really feeling that.

Yeah, because you stayed up until like 3 a.m., 3.30 in the morning, the eve of the last podcast, making that cartoon. Yeah, sometimes it's worth it. I'm not sure if it's ever worth it to do something somewhat topical,

but yeah, I was like, oh my God, I have so many feelings about this Burning Man thing, and I just want to make a video about it. And then I sacrificed Labor Day weekend to make this cartoon and I stayed up until

3.30am on Monday so I could release it on Tuesday. And I'm not 100% sure if it was worth it. It's totally worth it. How many times can I do that? How many days will I sacrifice to make a... You can i do that how many days will i sacrifice yeah to make a what are you talking about you're an artist sacrifice sleep yeah you think van gogh was bitching about being up till 3 a.m after fucking making sorry he did not do that he was

so tired he killed himself no kidding he lost an ear yeah i would say once a quarter is when is when i um i allow myself to have those like things where i i don't sleep enough and i have burnout yeah fatigue burning man out about once burning man um but yeah i think it's worth it go check that clip out you covered the socio-political spectrum that i for i didn't realize like you hit something new for me where i was like yes like the best comedy does that it makes you realize something you subconsciously knew but had never thought oh my god fuck that's why it bugs me that's it like everyone i know that goes not everyone a lot of people i know who go there are trust fund kids and you're right. Anyway, go look at the Burning

Man clip. That is such a good compliment because, well, first of all, I purposely did not make fun of granola hippies that go to Burning Man because I don't think that there's anything to really make fun of them for. The 1980s

Burning Man in San Francisco where it's just a bunch of granola hippies going there to experience their community, that to me is fine. It's what it's become that is the purpose of the cartoon. But what you just said was the exact conversation I had with Allie. I walked into the living room.

She's sitting there. She's watching Seinfeld in its entirety, by the way, which makes me very proud. Whoa. She's on season eight right now. That's fun. It makes you very what? Oh, yeah, for sure. I thought you were going to say mad.

I was like, yes, that's awesome. So I walk in while she's watching season eight of Seinfeld, and I go, I think I have to do it. And she's like, what? And I was like, I think I have to make a Burning Man cartoon, even though I don't want to stay up until fucking 4 o'clock in the morning. And then I had this discussion with her, which is almost exactly what Anya said, which is like, I don't just want to say the same thing that everyone else is saying.

I need to come up. It's also like the Rachel Ziegler thing, which is like, I know I have an emotion about this, but I can't articulate it. And so I need to be the fox woman of my own existence and come up with the reason why i feel this way and and i did and i think i did i think i came up with a different um reasoning as to why this whole like why was i happy that burning man got mudded out? Why would that make me happy?

And so I explored that. Mine's usually like I'm jealous. Yeah. No, not me. Not you. You want the billionaire bros to be punished. Yes. As they should.

No, but isn't that also a sort of. As they should. As they should. Should. Callback. Isn't though, Isn't that also jealousy because we kind of want their money? Well.

Doesn't it all stem from that? I'm not saying that you're jealous of those people. I'm just putting it out there. Doesn't it stem from a place of why do we hate rich people? It's because they're evil and greedy and all that stuff. But aren't we kind of

like aren't we a little bit like i want to sure of course we want the money but i think my thing was well i think go ahead chris well it's like well like i think it's the arrogance that comes with with that like they were an entitlement or like you know i mean the fact that you're calling out trust fund people like they have done nothing it's that beautiful saying that they were born on third base and they think they hit a triple yeah that beautiful saying that meant nothing to me until someone had to describe until i had to think about it really hard but that happens all the time where people think that they've done something special that they deserve to be entitled and deserve to be you know a level of confidence that they've done something special that they deserve to be entitled and deserve to be you know a level of confidence that they haven't earned and i think calling those people out is

i don't think it's based in jealousy over what they have but it's most of the people that i actually know that have been to burning man that are burners, if you will, are totally cool, nice, middle-class people who do not fall into that category. But I'm just taking your word for it, Brian, that there's this whole new contingent of people that have maybe ruined it. Oh, no. Yeah. They did a study and they found that it's now over 16% of the people who attend Burning

Man have a income of over $300,000 a year. So it really is becoming a playground for the rich. And my point of the video was to say that it's not just about being rich and spending your money on something that you want to do. Because how can you blame them for that? It's that I just feel like people who go there, they come back with an air of superiority. Like they experienced something so incredible when it's like, no, you're flailing for some reason because I don't understand why you're not happy

with all this money. And then you go and you think that driving around in a neon car is going to fix your fucking problem. Like that was your transformative experience that you fucking climbed onto a pirate ship with a bunch of like smelly people for 10 days and danced around on shrooms and you're telling me that that's the answer that that's what i should be doing this is honestly this is exactly how i feel about having kids like

i when i was seeking like why do people want to have them I was doing the same thing you were doing of like, this thing bothers me. I don't know why it does. I can't understand why it irks me so much. And it's more than just, I'm of a certain age where it's like time to decide. It's like, and the thing is, it's the same exact route. I think people do it because they're flailing in life. Yes, I love flailing. They're flailing. Flailing is a great word that's it where i'm like stop pretending like you're doing it for other reasons other than

you're flailing and that's okay like i it just admit that that's it that yes because i say on stage now i don't want to give away if you're coming to see me on tour um tickets on sale now nicky glazer.com but this is one of my favorite things to do right now and thank you to all the besties who wrote me about why you wanted kids why you why you want kids why you did want kids why you don't want kids like so many people wrote me keep sending me stuff i will i might write back just like i might heart it but i read your paragraphs about this stuff because i am fascinated in people's uh reasoning i used what i like use every logic answer that people have given me in my set because i want to cover them all i don't want to leave anyone out being like oh she's just doing the

thing where she just says the thing that she wants to prove her point i want to like give everyone's example so no one in the audience which so often when i watch stand-up i'm like but he's not he's making fun of vegans but he didn't even hit my point. Yes. Right. Which is like, I'm not, or whatever. Like, it's like, you just want to feel represented. Represented? Represented. Is that right? No.

Oh my God. Represented. What's going on? Represented. Represented. Okay. That seems like there's not enough syllables. So, okay.

But my point was, I think that, yeah, I say that people have kids because they don't have meaning in their lives. But when you say that, you mean some people. You don't mean most people, right?

I think most people have kids because they need meaning in their lives. I think that is the main reason. And I don't think that's a bad reason to have kids. That doesn't mean that I think most people have kids because they need meaning in their lives. I think that is the main reason. And I don't think that's a bad reason to have kids. That doesn't mean that I think that's somehow not a... I think that's the best reason to have kids is because... And I think it gets at the...

I wish more people would admit that. I don't really have a lot going on. I need some meaning in my life. That's why people go to Burning Man. That's why people... They don't... Because they have jobs that suck. Their marriage is kind of boring or whatever like they or their marriage is fine but it's just like just scooting by it's just kind of like there's people like to like be

on an expedition in life and i say that like i don't want kids because my life has meaning because of what i do on stage and i go it's not because and I'm not saying my meaning is better than yours my meaning is actually stupider than yours I just happen to have one that makes me not want kids I think that's why I don't want kids is because I'm I'm still striving for something and not that if you want kids you're not striving anymore I know some people are like well I still strive and I'm Fey. I still create shows and I have kids too. So her reason might be different, but I think the bulk of the reasoning is a meaningless existence and you want to fill that with it. But then some people have a very meaningful existence.

Like they have a career they love, let's say, but they have still space and time in their lives. They want more meaning. And to me, I think they want more meaning. Yeah. They're the type of people that want more meaning can handle more meaning have a partner that can help them actualize that raise those kids you know and for me i was able to be like okay i i respect that i just don't have the setup that would make that work like i would be like so anxious if i was in

their shoes because i'd be like i can't juggle all these plates. I don't have a partner that can help me juggle these plates. Tell me about it. I'm speaking of the… I'll juggle right now. Yeah, you can juggle, actually. He's looking for plates. I'll juggle right out of this relationship.

The extra skillfuls in the word. So you're trying to say represent. Oh, my God. Look, he's doing it. He's juggling. He's juggling mints, a wallet, and keys. That's hard to do. Those are all different weights. Subscribe to the Nicky Glazer pod on YouTube to see Chris juggling right now.

Juggle a pack of mints, keys, and a wallet. Wow. Excellent. Happy birthday, Chris. Happy birthday to us all. He hired his own juggler. That's a good point the word represented what was it represented

represented in the cartoon there's a word that I wrote in there that's got way more syllables than I thought so many more syllables that when I said it and recorded it I didn't realize until later that I didn't say enough syllables that I I said it and recorded it, I didn't realize until later that I didn't say

enough syllables. That I let out a syllable. Oh, yeah. I caught that. Yeah. And then I put it in the captions, but I was like, it's just got too many syllables. I can't fit it in the whole- What is it? I forgot. The word is meaninglessness. Yes. I liked it. Meaninglessness. I liked it. He goes, meaningless.

Yeah. I accidentally said meaningless instead of meaning What did you say? He goes, meaningless. Yeah, I accidentally said meaningless instead of meaninglessness. Because that's just way too, that's an extra. Meaninglessness. That's too many. Well, your caption got me because I relied on your caption more than the, I think I first read it because I was in bed with Chris and I think he was sleeping or something. Or I was in a car or something.

I watched it when, yeah, we were in the car and you were listening to birthday messages or something. So I watched it or something. And so I just read it. Listen, who's listening to audio on anything anymore? It's funny because he sounds like the guy from Raymoor and Flanagan or something. He's like, get on down. Raymoor and Flanagan. It's a funny voice.

I don't listen to audio for podcasts. I just read the captions. I mean, if there's captions, I don't watch audio and I know I'm missing a lot of nuance by that, but I just, even if I'm, I guess if I'm alone, I listen to audio, but I'm not alone ever, I feel. And so I'm always reading captions. I think it's very helpful because I think ever listening to something on your phone this is not a new take with other people around who are not also looking at your phone is

capital R rude I think I don't care if it's your partner I'll sometimes do it with you and like I immediately I'm like oh like the other night you were like hey could you turn we were doing the crossword puzzle and something played and I was like I was so humiliated

because I never listened to things out loud. And for some reason, I had finished the crossword puzzle before. I was like, what are you doing? We're doing like a crossword puzzle challenge and you're turning on audio. This is out of control. I was so embarrassed.

But I'm allowed to make a mistake, babe. I didn't mean to. I was so, I was so humiliated. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe it. Because I never do that. But for some reason, I just... But you didn't even realize it on your own. I had to be like, hey, what's going on over there?

Well, I know. That's why I was like, oh my God. So I was like, I turned red in bed with my boyfriend because I was like caught doing something that I think is like a social, you know, makes you antisocial. That's why I was three minutes worse than you. Because of the audio.

Crossword puzzle. I just, I love when someone's in a group setting and they're looking at their phone and then all of a sudden a TikTok audio like blasts out of their phone that they didn't intend and they get so embarrassed. Oh my God, oh my God, I didn't realize.

That to me indicates that you are a good person. If you get embarrassed by that and you're like, oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Absolutely. When I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Absolutely. When I met Nikki, she was listening to music on the subway at full blast with a speaker. And she would ride her bike down the streets of Manhattan.

Yeah, but that's how she made money, Chris. You know, you got to let her make money. I would rather, I mean, I can't even imagine. That makes me so uncomfortable. Uncomfortable? Uh-oh. No, it's Evan. Uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. English language. But you know when I spell it, I write uncomfortable. Like I was just doing the Wednesday. That's the right idea. Wednesday, Wednesday. But when I write comfortable, I write comfortable.

I say it in my head. People often give this word an extra syllable. Oriented. Orientated? Yeah, they say orientated. I think that you can't say that anymore. You have to call it Asian.

Asianated. Last night was Chris's birthday. We had so much fun. We went to what did we do? We went to dinner first. Yeah, our favorite restaurant. Brian loves it too. Brian

spent a birthday at Rao's. Oh, I go to Rao's for my last two birthdays. Yeah, we went to Rao's in LA. R-A-O. It's so delicious. I gotta say, I don't enjoy it as much anymore because I'm vegan and it's ruined it for me because the best thing there was the seafood salad and it was $32

and I used to get it every time we dined there. And I used to call it a shirt salad because I was like, this costs as much as a shirt. And so I would always think about a blouse, a really nice shirt at like, I guess at the time I was shopping at like H&M or The Gap. Like $32 can get you a good shirt at Zara. That's like a $32.90.

You know, Zara always has 90 as their decimals. So I was like, I called it a shirt salad. It's so delicious. My mouth is watering thinking about it right now, but I can't eat anymore. I was almost about to like cheat on being vegan, which I never do. My God, my mouth is watering. I don't even want a seaweed salad.

Why are you doing this to me? No, seafood salad. I mean, seafood salad. It's lobster, it's crab, it's calamari, and it's all in this delicious lemony dressing. And it has no lettuce. It's just all seafood. It is, this is my mom right now. I am my mom.

Oh, really? There's no lettuce? It's salad, baby. She loves it. No, it's just all seafood it is this is my mom right now I am my mom oh really there's no lettuce it's just all seafood and it's fresh and it's not it doesn't have it's not greasy it's not like

buttery it's just like but it tastes kind of buttery because it's lobstery oh it's so good anyway now I just have to get

some vegetables and it's a little depressing but I love I love I just love the atmosphere yeah it's great it's like old school Italian restaurant. So what do you get at Rouse now, Nick?

I get a spinach, asparagus, a big plate of red sauce to dip it all in. And this salad that is really disappointing because it doesn't have Parmesan cheese on it anymore. And it used to be the fucking best salad, but that was a key element to it. And so now it's just kind of like balsamic, too much balsamic. But it doesn't matter. It's just like a, and I get to eat another meal later on

because of all that roughage. It's like, doesn't fill you up. So I'm kind of excited the whole time because I'm like, oh, I get a fourth meal today. Yeah, fourth meal. Yeah. So I was like, oh, this is fine. This will just fill me up

until I get to go home and eat another thing that I have in my fridge. Were you guys playing a game? Is that what I saw in your story? We're always playing games. Reindeer games.

Psychological with each other. Hashtag Sean O'Brien. So we played, so then after Rao's, we, I had to go do a set. So I ran, you know,

five minutes over to the improv. I took an Uber. Oh, we have to go to break. We'll tell you about it when we get back from this. Do tease. Do tease. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast.

The Daily Show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back. Brian,

Brian wants to say one more thing about Rao's. I just want to say that it's amazing that we in LA get to experience Rao's because as a New Yorker, Rao's originally is a New York restaurant that kind of has ties to the mafia and you're not allowed to go there. The only way you could go to Rao's

in New York was during COVID for some reason they started doing takeout orders. And that was like the first time in a hundred years that any non-connected person, whether you're a very rich or famous celebrity or a singer or a politician or in the mob, could you get one of the eight tables at Rao's? So it really was like a magical place that was forbidden for New Yorkers.

And then in 2012 or something, because of some cousin or something, they decided to open up a Rao's in California, in LA, that anybody could go to. Anybody. And it's not even a dress code. Yeah, you can get a table any night. Yes, there's no dress code, but they greet you. It feels like the real one, I would assume. I have no idea.

I know that Greg Fitzman's dad died at the Rao's in New York. At the real one, yeah. They're the original. So if you have a dad... He died laughing really hard. It's such a privilege to be able to go to rayos and it's one of the few places in la or in socal that has true new york italian food and so i love going there and that's why i i went there for my last two birthdays it's a hidden gem too because it's not like it's it's it's off the beaten path yes

it's in a weird location it's in between two studios in LA. Yeah. So we dined there and it was me, Brian, Brian's wife, Allie, and then our friend Nick, who is a girl. We call her Nick. It confused me for a very long time because Chris was originally friends with her and he would always be like, my friend Nick. And then all of a sudden it was a girl and I was like who is she she's great and then uh his

two other friends Lana and Wong you kept calling her I call her Wong but her name's Kristen yes um and they were so great and uh it was just and I hadn't really hung out with them before because they were like your work friends yeah I'd met Kristen but I hadn't met Lana and they were so awesome and they felt like new friends to me it was met Kristen, but I hadn't met Lana. And they were so awesome. And they felt like new friends to me. It was just such a good night. And then I went and did a set. It went great.

And it was nice because everyone was like, well, go watch your set. And I was like, I like that, but there's something about it I don't like because this is the problem. If my set just goes kind of okay, I have to then hang out with these people afterwards all night long. And I just had a mediocre set.

And in my head, if I have a mediocre set on my own, I don't give a fuck. I'm sorry to everyone who buys a ticket to my show. I will get over it pretty quickly because I have to. This happens sometimes. Sometimes you just have a bad one. But if I have friends and family there that I then have to hang out with it. And some of these people are people who have hung out with me for the first time. And it's just embarrassing.

And I know that I'm way better than that and I'm okay with it, but they don't know that that's all they've ever seen of me. And they think that like, maybe I'm one of these comics who's like tricked people into thinking I'm good, which is my secret fear anyway. And then they are going to talk on the way home. Like, yikes, that was like really uncomfortable.

And then I have to like sit with them the whole night and we have to like play this game. Like we were going to play a board game. So I, um, I was happy that when I did look at my phone at dinner, it was like so late that I couldn't have gotten every, I was going to be okay with them watching.

Right. But I was like, okay, this is actually perfect. Cause I'm, I'm late for my set. We don't have enough time to corral everyone to get over there i just have to take an uber and fucking go and so um yeah so they missed it but but you would have been here like they could have gone to that set and it could have been terrible you pulled that heroic dinner move that you do you do pretty often but it was really nice

because you know you didn't know everybody there. But Nikki did that thing where she left and gave the waiter the credit card and paid for everybody's dinner. I slipped it in like five minutes into the dinner because I knew you were going to be like 10 minutes in. You were going to sneak it and pay for your own thing. So I just did this to the guy. I was like, can I get like...

I was asking for more sauce or something. And then I didn't even look at him and I just put the card because I didn't want anyone to notice and I just like palmed it to him. And he knew. You're at Rao's. I said, go buy yourself a shirt salad. It's such a

generous thing but it's like such a great power move too. You looked pretty cool. And then I was like, babe, tip him well. I got to go. Collect my credit card for me. You know what to do, babe. And then I jetted off.

And then they came and met. All of them came over to the improv. And the improv fucking hooked us up with like this private room up in the green room area. They gave it to us for us to play our favorite board game, Codenames. We brought a board game. We brought a board game to the improv. Into the improv. They didn't have a second show,

so I closed out the first show or the only show. And then we just got to hang out in this cute attic-y green room that is like perfect, beautiful couches, great, like just a great setting, a beanbag chair. And like, we just sat around and played this board game Codenames that we love. That is such a good game.

If you know, you know. I-Y-K-Y-K I-Y-K-Y-K If you know, you know. It's so good. And that's our favorite thing to do I think as a couple with other people is play Codenames.

It's so fun. How do you play? Oh boy, how much time you got, sister? Save that for the Diamond Players Club. Oh, I know. Oh, yeah. No kidding. We'll do a special episode.

We won't do that to you. Thank you to everyone, by the way, who did subscribe to the Diamond Players. I got people messaging me about our secret episode that dropped last week. And people are like, oh, my God. You really showed up for us by giving us like premium content i shared a story on the diamond players club episode that i did not share that needs to be behind a paywall yeah and so like i don't want everyone to have it right you know it's uh and it was it's yeah we got into some stuff there i talked about like something that was really embarrassing

to me when it's behind a paywall you feel safe not that i don't feel free here with you guys because i do i just know that the people i'm referencing in the thing aren't going to pay that paywall they're not going to take that stuff they don't even know how to do it name names i don't even name i didn't name names but i just know that if someone because because this is what happens. I talk about something without names, but someone listening knows who it is, and they go, I'm going to send it to that person so that they know that they're talking about them, because they think it's like, they'd want to hear this, because they don't see

why that person wouldn't like it at all. Not that I'd ever say anything really disparaging, except about that nepo scum that i talked about oh my god that people were freaking out about can we talk about that for a second you were in but you were when you said the nepo scum thing you were in like a mood i was in oh i was on one big time you never said scum i don't think i said it did you listen oh? No. You said like, Nepo, piece of shit. What? Maybe that? Yeah,

Nepo scum. I was like proud if I had said Nepo scum because that's so funny. I think the word scum is funny. I heard someone yesterday say, It's like the 1970s. Someone yesterday said

to someone else that, you are like the scum on the bottom of my shoe. Wait, I heard that too. Yeah, we both heard it. Who was that?

One of our friends. Oh, yeah, yeah we both heard it who was that one of our friends i was like i was like after he saw how much christian that sounds so much worse than any other insult like and then to call someone then if you said you're a piece of shit to call someone the scum on my bottom of the shoe was so viscerally disturbing to me yes and i was like yeah i heard that too and it was like a younger kind of hipper person than me and i felt cool because i go i just used scum or at least someone said i did so i kind of felt cool i don't know if i called this person nepo scum but uh two weeks ago or something i was talking about a friend of mine witnessing um a nepo baby scum um like yell berating a barista somewhere and it was a blind item i said

it was a famous person i gave some clues and it ended up on dumois so one of our listeners wrote to dumois which is like this gossip um instagram account that posts on their instagram stories blind items about celebrities or not even blind sometimes they're just straight up called name and names but a lot of times people go, who is this person that someone's talking about? Let's all put on our detective hats and get out those magnifying glasses and get in there and figure it out.

And then it went on the subreddit for DeMois and people were talking about it. And I felt bad because I'm like, this is going to get back to that person. I just know it. Because famous people read DeMois. It's almost like probably half their readership is people being like, am I in here?

I know this person reads Demois because she just seems like that vapid enough to do that. Also, I used to read Demois. I don't anymore because it was making me upset. Not because I wasn't in it. No. Don't quote me on that. Nikki Glaser said she doesn't listen because she's upset she's not in it.

Out of context, that sounds like I'm not making a joke. Please stop taking my quotes out of context so that you suck any of the funny out of them. And I sound like I'm really saying that. That's not why I don't read it anymore. I don't read it because I was just getting frustrated with people having such mean opinions about celebrities and not really knowing the other side. which you could say that for me, Nikki didn't know the other side of this person screaming at a barista. I don't give a fuck what is going on in that person's life.

You don't do that to anyone. Yeah. So there's something like really bad about something. So I have no idea what's happening or this. I don't know who the person is or what's happening in their life, but you should not be yelling at service industry people ever. Yeah. I mean,

unless they've done something absolutely abhorrent, like you can't do it. And, but I did, I did go on in that episode to then turn around and say, you know what? I actually have empathy for this person. They probably didn't grow up with a lot of um people teaching them about how

to respect other people you know i don't believe in free will so this person couldn't help that their brain is a certain way that yells at baristas so i had some sort of like maybe she comes from you know she was raised poorly or but maybe it's a what i think sometimes too is it's like a one-off like what if this was her worst moment because i think about that too at my worst nobody has nobody has witnessed like very few people have witnessed me at my worst but i've done things where as soon as i've done them i'm like if my mother were around to see this she would be so disappointed or if this was on camera i feel like i'd be toast like we've all i think we've all done things absolutely like that yes i i do want to say that. I think that this could have been her worst moment,

and I would forgive her for this thing because I probably had a moment like this. Not where I've yelled at a barista. I think I'm pretty good saying I've never done anything even close to that of this nature or made someone who is working in the service industry, and I'm a famous person who got lucky enough to be paid

to be hot I don't think I would ever be mean to people who don't have that privilege that's just me but I also do scummy things I think in other ways I'm sure so it's you know to each their own so I felt a little bit bad because this person might see it right and I'm like but I also felt like if she sees it she's not gonna be like this is me hey look you guys she's just gonna privately go oh boy this was me maybe i won't do that again we've had to reevaluate a few things yeah and um and if she ever runs into me we'll both like no because i know now she probably knows who i am because she probably was like who's this old ugly bitch? I seriously doubt she has enough self-awareness

to connect that that's her. She'd probably read it and go. I love the idea that like 50 celebrities were like, this was me. Do you guys have moments though where like that you can think of, you don't have to admit them here, where like if somebody had a camera on you

and put it online, you would be mortified because you'd be like,. Cause you would be, you'd be like, that's, I can't, that doesn't feel like me, but I,

I did that. Sure. That's how I feel right now. The other day I had one at the comedy store. I lashed out at a woman who was interrupting my set and I went fucking ballistic. I saw red when people talk about like Noah, i think you've talked about some of your like anger problems you've had in the past where like you see red we were even talking about it last night at dinner and some people we were dining with had the same thing of like they quote unquote

see red i've never really felt overwhelmed by anger in a way that I just shout and scream at someone in my life. So I guess that I wasn't being very empathetic to this person who was maybe having that moment. And she could have just gotten some bad news about her aunt who's in hospice. Like who knows what was happening to this woman at the time that that happened. But boy, oh boy, I had it the other night with a woman who interrupted my set continually for about 11 minutes. She kept just saying things. First, she was supportive. Yeah, girl, say it. Preach. Front row, right? Just thinking she's helping. And if that happens, I usually ignore it because I'm just like, she's being nice. She likes me. Even though she's heckling, I'm not going to lay into this lady. But then it shifted. She didn't like some of my subject matter she wasn't even listening

to the joke she just heard the word suicide and she's uh-uh oh god ew no gross you you have a not cool you really hate that when somebody makes you feel like you're gross gross or bad yeah like i'm a bad person. Like that, what I'm saying is like, like meant to hurt people because what I got from what she was doing was not that she was hurt by what I was saying. That, that didn't come across.

If, if I would have sensed that I would not have lashed out at this person. If what I was saying made her feel less than that, that would have made me feel horrible. What she was doing was trying to make me feel like that is what i'm doing to other people like she's standing up for other people and that she's saying you're a bad person for your thoughts it sounded like she was judging you yes and you know like i i'm open to criticism and judgment i'm not i'm far from even average

i was gonna say perfect but i hate when people say that i'm not, I'm far from even average. I was going to say perfect, but I hate when people say that I'm not perfect. No one thought you were. I'm far from average. Um, but, uh, you know, and I deserve to have be taken down sometimes. I mean, people write me all the time saying like, this was a bad take. And like I said, I, I go, okay, thank you. I sometimes I'm blind to it. I hear myself on things. Sometimes I'm like, oh, shut up, bitch. You're so mean. You're coming across way worse than you intended to. am blind to it. I hear myself on things sometimes. I'm like, shut up, bitch. You're so mean. You're coming across way worse than you intended to.

You sound so harsh. You're such a bitch. But one of the cool things is that if somebody does say, hey, that's a bad, if somebody's nice to you and it says, hey, that's a bad take

and this is why, you'll internalize it. Yeah. But some people, you know, some people don't, can't do that. The shame is the thing I don't like where they just want to go, you're bad.

Instead of saying like, hey, I just want to let you know, like, I don't think, like, just come at me from a place of like, do you really think I'm trying to hurt you? Because that's not what I'm doing. Like, just come from a place of like, that hurt me, even though I don't think you're a bad person. But when someone thinks like, why would you say that? You're fucked up. Like you are an evil person, like accuses me of trying to hurt people. And maybe if I were listening to this, I'd be like, well, Nikki, the thing that you fear is usually what you are.

So like you, maybe you're mad because people do see what you are and you are an evil person who is trying to hurt people. And when someone calls you out on it, you lash out. Like that's what I would think. Well, no, well no but here's here's i think here's something that's at play is nikki nikki does this thing where she will go a hundred miles an hour in a direction that dawns on her so like school zone in those moments where if somebody like has some sort of implication that nikki can be like oh she's saying I'm a bad, she's saying this, this take I have is bad and that it's inappropriate.

And then, okay, if that's, if those are true, Hitler, that all of a sudden I'm okay. So now I'm a bad person. And if I'm a bad person,

then I'm, then I'm a person. And then if I'm that, then so she just goes a hundred miles an hour in this weird direction. I totally do that. That woman wasn't even applying. Who, like what she was doing, you shouldn't be doing at a comedy club that's terrible but it was just like

it was she wanted to be heard you know she wanted me to address it so at first i go no one's gonna like this i'm not even gonna share what i did because i was i even said to her i go are you gonna write into demois and try to ruin my career for what I said? I even called her out. I was like, we'll see this on DeMoi tomorrow, everyone. This is your next Diamond Players Club. I'll save it for the Diamond Club of what I said to her because it was funny, but I will tell you, I said some things I do regret because I was in an anger rage. But she wasn't making my coffee. She was harassing you.

She was harassing you at your workplace. For 11 minutes. 11 minutes. Front row, too. I got her kicked out of the show, which felt so good. You were the barista in that situation. Thank you. It's true.

Thank you. Oh, that is true. Yeah. So the barista should have given it back to whoever that... I will say, I go, now you don't get to see Marc Maron. Because he was next and she's leaving this is the ultimate punishment i know that's what her boyfriend came there for because he was like you could tell he was like excited to be in the front row he got you have to pay extra

to be in the front row like that's a special date night and this bitch ruined it i always feel sorry for those people because they i think in their, they think they're doing the community of the audience a service, and they're not speaking for anyone. They're just too drunk. They don't go to comedy shows often, and they're just like of this little niche part of society that's like, what? Don't talk about suicide.

Uh-uh, girl. Uh-uh. You've never thought of that, that suicide might be controversial. I'm just like, anyone who comes at me about suicide jokes, my defense is I am plagued by thoughts of killing myself. If anyone has a right to talk about it, it's me. I suffer with the same disease that people have taken their lives with. I hate to use that little excuse because I hate when people go, I can talk about this because my brother, and everyone goes, okay, I guess you can say the R word

because your brother has downs or what? Like, why does that give you license? But everyone goes, she can. Like, it's like, I don't like that. But if I am using that defense, which every comedian does, suicide, people don't like to hear about it because everyone's lost someone to suicide.

Literally everyone. And sometimes it can be closer to you than it could be your father. It could be your son. It could be, and the word, hearing the word at a comedy club could trigger you. No pun intended. But the thing is, I don't, it's not that I don't care.

I don't want you to feel triggered. I don't want someone to have a panic attack at my show, but I suffer with these thoughts all the time. I have a right to talk about it. I, if I had a joke about cancer and someone goes, but my, my, like, it's like, I have, I have, if someone dies of cancer, uh, or when someone ever dies of depression, like killing themselves, I always go, I have that same disease. I'm at a different stage in my disease than they are. The final stage of it is death. Like if you go depression all the way, if you don't fight against it, I'm also, I have the same disease Anthony Bourdain had. I have the same disease

Kate Spade had. I have the same disease, not Robin Williams, because he had Lewy body dementia and that's what caused him to kill himself. But depression, I'm fighting it like people fight cancer and I have a right to fucking talk about it. And so I don't want to hear, you can't say that because my dad killed himself. Well, I think about it all the time and I also have that disease that your dad had. I have a right to talk about it.

So I'm sorry that your dad is gone to this thing that I'm talking about. I'm sorry you're triggered at my show, but don't go to a comedy show if you have these sacred cows and if you do excuse yourself to go to the bathroom like i do when something offends me at a show like if i'm watching a movie and something starts triggering me i leave i cover my eyes i don't go no boo bad take well and i think people people that go to comedy shows need to understand too That what they're witnessing isn't some final product

You're witnessing like somebody in the middle of like Of like painting a picture And you're judging it as if it's some final thing Like you're working through thoughts and ideas and jokes And it's not like this perfectly formed thing that you want to share with the world. You're sharing it with, you know, 150 people at a small comedy club in Los Angeles, or, or maybe, you know, with your, the fans that have paid to come see you at a big theater in Seattle. So it's like what they're seeing isn't a final take on something

yes thank you for saying that too it's and and and there are shows where it should feel yeah and there's been times where i like this one i really stand by this joke because it is done and i feel like i'm like i'm certain the joke she got offended by and then the later joke she got offended by are both jokes that i really stand by and I feel like I have a right to talk about them but there are times where I just am working something out and I have the wrong fucking take yes so wrong and I'm like I've seen it yeah where you go don't do that yeah and we talk about it later and I go oh you're right like it is a a molding process but um yeah uh afterwards mark marin came up to me because i brought him up and i i just was like oh because i just thrown her out it was a big to

do and i never throw people out i will say the only time people get thrown out of my shows is because the security comes and gets you i'm never like get her out of here i've i've maybe done that once before i think where i've said get her out of here. And this woman I was trying to bargain with, I go, can you just, I have three more minutes. Can you handle it? Can you just, I go, just shut up for three minutes. Close your ears, earmuffs. And I go, go to the bathroom or something, but she wouldn't stop. Maybe because I wouldn't either. Because I just, once I was unleashed, because that's also like people don't know at comedy clubs like when someone's in the front row talking just this

loud like just even talking this loud we as comedians can hear everything but even two rows back you can't hear that person at all because they're in front of you and the way the acoustics are it's like she's whispering in my ear the entire show so when I finally snap everyone's kind of like look what is she's being such a bitch to this woman who wasn't doing anything but i will tell you i i felt so great because the audience even after i said some of the nastiest things ever the audience was going nikki like that's never happened to me in my life where people start chanting my name and i instantly shut it down because i felt bad because this girl is walking out very drunkenly and um and yeah that that I didn't know how wasted she was either and I would have maybe um acted with a little more

empathy if I knew she was that drunk I thought she was pretty uh clear-headed at the time can I ask for my own edification is that how you would say that you uh write jokes is that you start off with an emotion and then you just kind of explore that on stage yeah so you're feeling something that's really you know like you said like you felt something about burning man you're like how do i get to this but i'm starting with a feeling yeah that's a really good point and sometimes the feeling i throw it out there like it will be bubbling inside me and i'm like i don't even know how to say this on stage and i think about it a lot and it's like something that's just like roiling around in my head and then on stage I just have a moment where I'm like oh this seems like a good time to like put this

out I'm kind of killing I'm in I'm in the pocket and I put it out there and it fucking thuds on the floor and then sometimes you throw it out and people go whoa we like that and and and you go oh my god there's something there and then you go whoa i didn't even know something would be there i just i think that's true i think that that's how probably how you write music too on you like is like you have a feeling you need to get out well you said in the pocket which i is so like a musician's term and i love that you said that because i feel that way once in a while playing live but also like recording you want to be in the pocket so it is such a good feeling but it's almost like surfing like a surfer is great because he's hard he or she is harnessing the power of this thing that's completely out of

their control and when you can figure out that magical thing it's magic right like the the wave is incredible your your take on the wave is incredible it's the same with music and i think it's the same with comedy it's like what you're talking about is almost like a conversation with the audience or you're like harnessing their laughter and you're like oh this is something important i can work with this that's so true they're like the wave because you need their support, whether it's like their rapt attention, which you can kind of feel of their silence, just listening and hanging on your word. Like last night was like electric. I was doing my bit about me not wanting kids and why people want kids. And I heard women go, yes, oh my God. And one girl

goes, that's so true. Like, I like i love that stuff and like there was a point i made that like people hadn't connected yet and by the way it's it's not all like don't have kids i have women coming out to me being like what use i have kids that's so true and then i have other women being like i just had a hysterectomy thank you for saying that i can't have kids and i needed to hear all of that so it's like it's really nice to hear both sides but then we had the best game night last night wait what did Marin say right oh wait um yeah Marin uh he was just like you know it happens he came out to me after his set and was like you know and he was like you handled I think he said you handled it well maybe I just inferred that but um it sounded like I did handle it as well as could be with

how I lost my temper. Usually I don't handle those things well and it gets really awkward. And I felt like I was victorious, but I did go backstage afterwards and I was just alone in this green room, like panting and my heart was racing. And I was like, like, I felt, I felt like I relapsed. Like, I felt like I decided to do a drug or take a drink after like a really long time of not doing it. So I felt like this surge of like, it's adrenaline. I mean, anger is like when you lock into it and ride that wave.

Woo! That's why I try to make you angry all the time. Yeah, I was going to ask about your physical responses. I locked into so much. What was that? What was that, Noah? I was going to ask about your physical responses so much what was that what was i gonna ask about your physical responses like did you did you feel anything in your chest yes i felt you felt like your heart

palpitating what i felt was that it was like i went into i didn't anger it was i almost want to tap into it more because the stream of consciousness things that I said in this moment where I just decided like I'm gonna be mean to a girl very loudly in front of 500 people which I would I am so scared of women and I'm scared of men too because I'm scared men will call me fat or ugly which they you know did very frequently to girls in high school and I still have that fear of boys just being like, well, you're ugly. And then you like are shut down. But girls, I have another fear of just them not liking me. I just, I never, I would never yell at a woman

unless I felt she was like a scum, you know? And I felt like this woman was scummy. And I, when I decided when the switch turned to like, you're going to go off and stop trying to negotiate with this woman, you're about to just destroy her. It was like riding a wave. I didn't have to think. Funny things just came out of my skull. The meanest things I've ever said in my life came out of my skull.

It was, I was hanging 10 smoothly on a giant, giant wave. I didn't have to do anything. I was on autopilot. That's how I relate to it. I was on auto, I was, I had pressed cruise control on a highway going 85, where you're like, I'm going too fast and this is kind of dangerous,

but I've got control and I'm locked in, baby. And no one's gonna, and there's no cops around. Yes, yes. Did you feel exhausted afterwards? Yes. Yes. Did you feel exhausted afterwards? Yes. I felt like someone, I felt like I had just gotten into a- That is from stress.

Like, yeah, it was the cortisol probably pumping through my veins. I mean, I've never been this lit up before. It's been years since I have been this angry in my life. I was, it was to scream at someone. They say that sort of that moment where it's like almost a fight or flight sort of reaction

takes like eight hours to come down from. Whoa. That your body doesn't regulate itself for eight hours. That makes sense. I've had to like OD on melatonin that night. It was

so fun. That's why anger is bad for us i don't know releasing it felt really i'm not kidding you i want to do it more i think i need to get my you're an addict i am that's totally it i am an addict i want it more of feeling like i don't have to think it was the only time my brain really could shut off. Noah, do you relate to that? I think when I've heard people talk about they go into like, they start screaming at someone. They don't have to think it just comes out. It's like something you get possessed. I didn't feel for the first time I didn't have to try. And I usually feel like Taylor Swift in the song Mirrorball.

I've never been a natural. All I do is try, try, try. I feel like I'm always trying so hard. And this time I just clicked over into this mode. There was no effort. It just came. It was like the real me coming out. Oh, no.

The angry you is the real you. But I think I push down anger so often because it's a feeling I'm deeply uncomfortable with is feeling that out of control. But it felt so good because it didn't feel like my fault. It felt like if any example of no free will, it was that. That my thoughts to my mouth had no, there was no one going like, maybe don't say that. It was all thoughts out. Come on, go, go, go. We need to go.

There's a fire sale. Everything just spilling out. No thoughts. There was no planning. And it felt great because I'm always planning what I'm about to say. I'm always second guessing myself. And there was just no, there was no border control at all. It was awesome.

And that felt cool. There was something about it that that like that's maybe authentic but not really authentic because it's saying horrible things but the only the only difference between the person who yelled at the coffee barista and you in this situation and it's a huge difference is you felt justified like you were being wronged and so your anger was like was like just in some way. I bet in her mind. Right. I think,

well, yeah, I think in those moments, those people, because you see those videos of people like yelling at, uh, airlines employees. Yes.

And you're like, they can't do anything about it, but those people don't know what to do with their anger. Oh, and it gets worse and worse. Cause once they lock in, they like, they can't back down.

So they got to go to the next level. And they all think that they're right. Oh yeah, they can't back down. So they got to go to the next level. And they all think that they're right. Oh yeah, you're right. I was one of those people. I'm not, you weren't,

I'm not saying that you were, cause that woman was obviously doing something wrong. I went too hard. There's no question. I went too hard. Well, now that I know, oh,

we have to go, we have to go to break, but there's no question. I went too hard. I just, um, there's something, it was the first time I've ever done that drug it was my

it was my first time I'd ever really let that out I mean Anya you've seen me go on like angry rants about different people

Noah you've probably witnessed it too Chris you've witnessed it even me being like and this girl's this and da da da da and like hating someone well I've seen you be

very angry just in normal life really yeah really yes we'll find out about it when we get back from break john stewart is back in the host chair at the daily show which means he's also back in our ears on the daily show ears edition podcast the daily show podcast has everything you need to stay on top of today's news and pop culture. You get hilarious satirical takes on entertainment, politics, sports, and more from John and the team of correspondents and contributors. The podcast also has content you can't get anywhere

else, like extended interviews and a roundup of the weekly headlines. Listen to The Daily Show, ears edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to the show. It's like you're in another planet. We are having technical issues and there is a like eight second delay between me and Chris and the rest of the show. So we tried to figure out a way to maybe get this more smooth, but there's nothing we can do. So you're not going to hear from

Brian or Anya or Noah the rest of the show because it's too long of a delay and we just can't do it. So the rest of the show. We can toss it over to them for comedy at one point. I think they're leaving though. Are they leaving? Oh, maybe not. You guys don't want to watch this? Oh, they're not are they leaving i oh maybe not you guys

don't want to watch this we're gonna stay okay good okay so we're just gonna talk this is exactly how telephone conversations were with my mom and her relatives in russia like it would be a 13 second delay or like when you have when you have like a terrible phone cadence with somebody and you start talking and then you're like no you go and then you know you go we've done that before like when we're on the phone and it can it and then it just like creates this tension and it's like let's break up we've broken up three times because of that you're and it's usually because i go you're breaking up and i go yep i think we should yeah yes i think i am um okay so we wanted to just uh say the one thing that we teased on yesterday's episode that um chris and i um what happened to us two days ago when you went into town

or i guess it was the next day we went out to lunch at this place that um well we i call it chintzy servings and it's this middle eastern place that's really delicious oh yeah and last time we went there when he was in town um they just you know when you go to these places like a chipotle or a subway and they like don't give you the amount that they should and you're just kind of like can i get some more and usually they go like sure But this place like has an amount that they give you and that's it. And it is,

they are rationing food like it is Firefest 1. It is, it's so strange, these portions. And I'm not someone who is like, I just want more because I just,

I'm not trying to be yelling at a barista. I'm trying to be i just couldn't so i went into the we went i kind of liked what happened because because because so often in these situations there is a there's a tension between like a service worker and somebody who is trying to get some service and it ends up being an ugly situation if anything is out of the ordinary because if somebody just acts a little bit goofy then things can go south quickly as we know from the scum never baby scum this is all like connected this is strange this is stories coming

out but there was charm to what was happening with you thank you i love that word yeah there was some charm to it but he was receptive to the charm that was kind of a magical moment because we were flirting had a connection what it felt like to me was a it could have been like a it could have been a pressure like a it could have been a disaster your laughter helped because then you you weren't like horrified by what your girlfriend was doing which i think some I think in many ways you were, but you instead bolstered it with a laugh to ease the tension.

Because there was a moment where you could have looked like a crazy Caucasian. Karen. I could have looked like Nepo Scum. You could have looked like Nepo Scum-ish, but you didn't. That was not ever my intent to make it feel bad it was never your intention at all i just know that lettuce don't cost no thin like iceberg lettuce

costs nothing and if you're being and you have the whole thing of it and you're being weird about it and i am a vegan so like i i'm not getting meat i'm not getting the halal like and the expensive stuff and i understand when a portion is a portion and these people have to do portion control because they're not making a lot of money restaurants are struggling i'm not trying to be someone who's screwing over a restaurant by being like if you go to chipotle you could actually get more if you have them put it into a separate container and then you get more meat like i'm not trying to do a tiktok hack of a business but let me set the table here nikki went in knowing that oh yeah we went in knowing no nikki knows that this this place does not have like you know massive servings we actually

tried to go somewhere else because this place didn't have good servings this place is really good yeah and i liked all the people there last time i'm i'm a fan now i'll go back i don't care if they do chintzy servings chintzy feels like it's a slur and so i'm gonna keep looking up no but i i i think it's i i don't believe it's a slur. And so I'm going to keep saying that. Did you look it up? No, but I think it's, I don't believe it's a slur. So if it is, I do apologize and please correct me. Maybe one of you, like one of you, Brian, Noah, or Anya, in 10 seconds when you hear this, can look up if it's a spaghet. Because every time you say it, I tense.

Yeah. It's like the word spigot. You feel. Hey. I'm telling you, it's okay to say. It's like the word spigot you feel hey i'm telling you it's okay to say it's like the faucet it's a little part of the faucet where you drink from is the spigot but it sounds like you're saying a bunch of different slurs all mashed together there's a particular there's one that's really bad like a goulash of slurs what which i'm not even gonna say when people are now still saying the gypsies are a people that you can't say,

I got gypped anymore. But people say it all the time still. And I kind of tense up, like there might be some gypsies around who are going to get offended. But they never are. You know what else I hear that is not cool is ghetto.

They're roaming. Stop saying ghetto. I'm just talking through everything. Oh, ghetto also. Good point. No more more ghetto why do people think that's okay that was like 15 years ago you couldn't say ghetto and people still say it yeah although i do still love that elvis presley song oh that in the ghetto like a christmas song it's not a christmas song isn't it like christmas in the ghetto i don't think i think it's about

christmas in the ghetto i don't know i don't think so okay so here's this it's hanukkah here's a scenario nikki walks in she knows that they've got terrible servings oh yeah so she she does like her order and they ask everything that you may want like it's a one step i go i'm gonna get a big old plate of veggies i said i was open like that i'm like uh he goes uh which meat and i'm like no meat uh just a big plate of veggies, please. And then he's like, do you want this? And Nikki's like, yes. And so he has these tongs and I swear, like, it would be as if you were garnishing a piece

of salmon with some parsley is the amount it was. It's, I wish I could give you an example. Um, okay. I will. These keys, this part of the key, the key fob is the amount of tabbouleh that was in one serving like this this amount of this key fob for a plate of tabbouleh is a parsley slash grain salad it that i mean it was a spoonful maybe two two um tablespoons it was and also a cabbage slaw that was just purple cabbage and some vinegar and some salt that was it like these are i'm not asking for more of like i didn't even ask for more

baba ganoush because i'm like that's eggplant eggplant's expensive okay like i was going for the iceberg lettuce yeah and i got and and so you could give me the serving and i'll say what what i remember i said okay so give me my yeah so tong out the serving okay just mime it here oh what is that come on now that's a serving you could do better than that that's not a serving was that kind of the vibe yeah that was the vibe there was there was a little bit of charm it wasn't rude it was like and he smiled he gave a knowing smile yes and i go is that really what a serving is and i was saying it with a smile too because i was i wasn't trying to be rude i was just trying to call them on their shit but this guy got a memo from corporate like six weeks ago being like his boss is at the fucking spit behind

him carving the meat we're we're running out of taboo too quickly here like times are tough and you know like we didn't raise our prices because of inflation or whatever but he he he smiled and gave you some more and then it happened again and you were like come on yeah i go what is that and then he said something back that was kind of funny it was a funny amount of like it was it was like a garnish like Like it was so funny. I wish he would have with the second thing you ordered, just like giving you like one carrot or something. That would have been the ultimate move by him.

I think they were charmed by me. And as a woman of a certain age, like I'm getting up to the point where like, I'm not like a cute young girl where people are like constantly just like always like like i'm 39 like i'm not getting that like fun flirty energy from old men anymore even me yeah i really don't like i'm never like i've never once floated or existed on my cuteness or something i've never been a girl that like i can i just get a little more by like doing a smile and a wink like i i don't think that way but i do feel like there was some feminine charm coming through like i do feel like i charmed Can I just get a little more by like doing a smile and a wink? Like I don't think that way, but I do feel like there was some feminine charm coming through.

Like I do feel like I charmed them in a sincere way that I felt like they got me. You were charming and he received it perfectly. And then he was charming back. And then I tipped him for a thing that you shouldn't tip for. Cause they're, you know, like, I mean, I always tip those places. Cause people are always complaining now about like, they turn the screen around and then you tip them for your to-go order.

I have the, I don't think everyone should do it, but I don't think everyone is required to do it. If you have a lot of money, you 100% should tip, even if they've done nothing. I just always give a tip. I don't tip it that like, when I do, there was a, there is a tip. This is insane there is a tip at the self service kiosk at la guardia airport where you have to do your own everything you do and i go is this going back in my account like am i tipping myself who's getting this there's there's maybe

one person kind of watching all the kiosks so i'm like oh maybe it's that person and that person deserves more than what they're being paid i'm sure so i think i've even done it on that but that's where i start to go this is weird it's that is a bridge too far but if you are getting doordash or uber eats or anything like that you better fucking tip at least 20 and if you can't afford it you can't get uber eats or DoorDash. It's part of the deal. And I know there's a service fee and I know that it's so expensive. Final thought. I know that you're probably mad at me right now because you're like,

Nikki, I can't afford it and I still deserve Uber Eats. I don't know what to tell you. These people need to make a living and if you take an Uber service, you got a tip. And when I ask Uber drivers, they get a tip 50% of the time. No way. 50% of the time. And that is a crumb. But I don't think you have to say 20%. 20%.

They have to give something. 15% is a normal. I'll accept it. Is a normal tip. Totally. We're now living in a world where 20% is now more normal. 25%. And yet people still, I mean, they can't get uber eats all the time but it's

like get that uber eats give them 15 that's that is a that is a deal they're not making enough money i have friends who are doing the that uh gig kind of stuff where they do um they drive for uber eats and grubhub and um yeah they they they rely on your tips unfortunately and i know that like this is problem of like we shouldn't tip because we need to tell our government to pay people more and we shouldn't be a tip economy. We should be more like Europe. But at the same time, these people need to make money. We're living in this world.

I know there's a little delay, but I want to hear what Brian, Noah, and Anya have to say about the tip scenario. Brian. No, I agree with what Nikki just said, which is that thank you for welcoming me to the show.

Hello. Good morning, everybody. No, I agree with what Nikki just said in that. He's doing it on purpose now. He's just delaying himself. It would be nice if it was more like Europe and instead of having to tip someone so that they're getting paired up paid a fair wage they were just paid a fair wage and they and these rich ceos weren't passing on the money to pay their employees to the customers yeah all right noah what do you think i always tip even if it's like a little bit um i would never just tip a robot for packing my own

luggage or doing my own tags agreed with nikki on that yeah you gotta tip i heard it's 25 percent now i always tip 20 percent uh unless somebody was a dick and then i might might do 15 but um i did i didn't tip my voice teacher the other, and I found out that there's a tip on the... I didn't know I was supposed to tip my voice teacher. There's like weird tipping on certain things. You're not. I asked you because I'm seeing... I took a lesson from Anya's voice teacher,

and I go, did you tip her? Because she sent me a Venmo request, and I think when you pay for goods or services on Venmo, it now just puts in the tip thing. I don't think she expects it. I just was wondering, did you tip? I did not tip for that

because I feel like it's part of the price. I think you give a Christmas bonus to people that are in your life like that. We have a masseuse called Mario Masseuse and he is like, no, this is how much it costs.

You do not give me a tip. Yes, I love that. Bartenders, service workers are often the best tippers and i think it's all of us tipping 20 or 25 or whatever it is is definitely good but i think if you aren't like like absolutely crushing it 15 is a nor is like the normal tip in america we we don't need to get into like crazy inflation rates If you can do 20%, I think you should. But if it's like, you're not crushing it.

If you're rich, you should be tipping 30 plus. If you're a teacher, you're not making that much money. You still deserve Uber Eats. Tip 15%. Agreed. Don't feel guilty about that. You got to get something. Tip your teachers.

Tip your teachers. Honestly. I mean. Seriously, why don't we? people might think it's bribery the problem is rich people are greedy fucks and i'm not when i'm telling you that you should tip something i'm i'm talking to rich people people that are like well off who have more than three hundred thousand dollars to their name in like that they can get in access to you need to be tipping 30 you're being stingy and i know you want you're like i know that's how you got rich is being stingy you i'm tired of rich people being stingy i see it too fucking often everyone needs to be

like drew carey and if you can afford it you need to spread the wealth because you realize you're a lucky ass person that's true drew carey tips a hundred dollars to every single person he encounters because he is that price is right money. He is never going to run out of money. He knows that in his lifetime he'll never be able

to spend it and he spreads the wealth. $100 to somebody who's just like working like if they're a valet, if they're like a busboy, if they're a waiter, that's a day maker

for some people. It really, $100 is such an exciting thing. If you're about uber driver you want to hear the coolest fucking thing i heard about drew carrey we'll find out in eight seconds if brian already knows what i'm about to say i don't know what you're about to say i'm sorry i was waiting because i i thought you were going to say something and i was going to react after that but no I don't know what Drew Carey did okay Drew Carey has a deal

that at swingers and like Joe's some kind of like big boy Bob's big boy do you know this Anya no I mean I probably shouldn't spread the word because it's costing him so much money if you are a member of the WGA or SAG,

I believe it's SAG, but it's definitely WGA. If you go to Swingers, you can say, put it on Drew Carey's tab and he picks up the tab. It costs him $30,000 a week. But if you dine at those two restaurants in LA during the strike, Drew Carey will get your, and you are a member of the union, or I believe

it was WGA for sure, and it might also be SAG. It's costing him $30,000 a week. And he said he started doing it, this is all just hearsay, but I guess he started doing it when the first strike happened and it was before social media,

so it was costing him like oh you know a couple grand a week but because of social media and people spreading it it's now up upwards of 30 a week but how fucking cool is that and those restaurants i mean swingers is not cheap swingers is a nice place i don't know about big boy sounds like it's a little bit more affordable but like that is so cool that is the that is what rich people should do and i i need to be do a better job of it but i don't really i need to look more at my money and see what i can give away because you're not really should be doing more right people that can afford to need to be doing as much as possible and giving back and i'll say one last thing tim dylan made me

laugh so hard on his podcast this week because he said that big daddy Zaslav, uh, uh, what's, what's the Zaslav's first name? David, David Zaslav, who is like one of the ex executives,

um, that which one is he? Sony? No, he's, um, uh, it's,

uh, Warner discovery, right? Okay. Yes. Okay. So big daddy's, um,

you know, people are, first of all, Tim Dylan said his mom died and her, her dying words were So Big Daddy's ass, he said that people are... First of all, Tim Dillon said his mom died and her dying words were, pay the writers. Which is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. That's all she wanted was just pay the writers. And then

he said, he also said his mom died because she didn't want to live in a world where Tucker Carlson wasn't on TV. And so, see, I mean, Tim Dillon's podcast is full of fucking gems. But then he also said, people are mad at Big Daddy Zazz. That's what he calls them.

People are mad at Big Daddy Zazz because he decided to pay himself a quarter of a billion dollars. And you know what? What's he supposed to do? If he doesn't... If he doesn't know his worth't if he doesn't know his worth if he doesn't know his worth who will you have to know your worth so he made it into this thing of

like know your worth it's so fucking funny it's one of my favorite things to do is listen to tim dylan's podcast with chris and he and janice were like janice pop they were like why can't why can't you be for the russians and the ukrainians yeah they just like, why can't, why can't you be for the Russians and the Ukrainians? Yeah, they just want to play both sides. I want to support the writers and Big Daddy's ass. And Big Daddy's ass.

Why can't you do both? He goes, he said, if you want me to star in every Netflix show, I will. If no one's going to work for Netflix,

I will. Tim was like, I'll go, I'll reprise girls. I'll be Lena Dunham's character. It's so funny. I really love it. And man, it makes me laugh.

I implore other people to get into that because it's been a while since I've loved a comedy podcast so much that I listen all the time. Do you feel like you needed some sort of a setup for Tim? Because I feel like for me, I've told other people to listen and they're like, well, he's saying some crazy stuff and you're like,

no, he's doing a, this is a thing. He's Colbert-ing. He's being hilarious. The Colbert show kind of. Yeah. He knows what he's doing. He's taking the wrong side of things,

sometimes on purpose to be funny. Yeah. He told Lizzo that she needs to get thin now because the fat people have abandoned her that she flew too close to the sun i think he makes these outrageous statements of like lizzo leave the fat people behind they abandon you he said something else that is so crazy that i can't say it repeated on here but god it made me laugh because it's so outrageous and you did you didn't say it on here the piggies have

left the barn or something no i didn't say it on here i don't i don't think i said it on here you did you did oh well he said yeah leave the pigs in the bar like leave the cows in the barn or something like it's just that's funny to me because no one should call fat people cows no one should imply that they're in barns it's an insane thing to say and that's why it makes me laugh it didn't make me laugh because i'm like yeah fat people are cows no please no and by the way tim dylan is a fat person it's funny to come out from his it's just it's so funny and then he did this whole song as lizzo about like what she would be like when she's like her song when she gets thin and it's so funny somebody made it into a real song yes yes it was so good there

nothing is making me laugh harder than his podcast these days nothing and i was listening one day and um he was talking about taylor swift and he said in the middle of he goes nikki glazer's gonna be very mad about this and i was so fucking happy i got name checked i was like it was one of the greatest days ever i was like yes you got yeah it's i was like, it was one of the greatest days ever. I was like, yes. You got, yeah. I'm just such a fan. Yeah. Yeah.

He's amazing. He is. And to get it, it feels good to get what he's doing. Yes. If you're offended by him, you don't get it. You have to get it. And you have every right to be because you're, you know, it is offensive on paper. But I promise you, I'm not laughing at leave the cows in

the barn lizzo yeah it's just it's funny that he would tell her to do that and that's an outrageous thing to say and sometimes the outrageous things make me laugh but i am not i'm not signing on to fat shame and that's not what he's doing either he's just saying things to be funny and i think sometimes that's what i do and it gets taken out of context and i'm not as brilliant as tim dylan and so sometimes i say things and out of context they sound fucking crazy if you don't know that i'm saying that with a um like sarcastically satirizing something yes satirizing satirizing satirizing um alright guys that's the show

sorry for the delay sorry we lost Anya and Brian and Noah at the end of it but we made it through we weathered the storm we'll be back next week I'll be back in studio

everything will be fucking seamless as shit I can't even wait thank you um Chris for joining us on these two episodes you'll be back again don't even think you won't

we lived in it together now bitch um Chris is living with me we'll have updates on that we're living together starting next week on these two episodes. You'll be back again. Don't even think you won't. We lived in it together now, bitch. Chris is living with me. We'll have updates on that. We're living together starting next week. It begins.

Well, it began like two days ago. I know. We're together forever, baby. Disasters ahead. Yep. Imminent. And yeah, we'll see you next week.

Check out my tour dates, NikkiGlazer.com. Can't wait to see you out there. Chicago and Peoria coming up very, very soon. Anya will be on that tour as well. And we have new merch and so many exciting little treats lined up for you. So we'll see you next week. Don't be cute.

And tip 15% at least. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now, this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world

of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in.

It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, you guys, I'm Catherine Legg. I'm a racing driver who's literally driven everything with four wheels across the planet.

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