The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #379 Nikki's Less Gross, Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce!!!! & No More Gossiping?

Starting point is 00:00:00 John Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into John's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Starting point is 00:00:37 What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast. And now,

Starting point is 00:00:51 Minnie Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app,

Starting point is 00:01:06 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue

Starting point is 00:01:59 about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, a lot to discuss on the show today. Taylor Swift news. Been traveling a lot. Traveling coming up. I'm home right now for a couple days. I was so excited this week. I was like, Chris, I don't

Starting point is 00:02:51 leave till Wednesday. This was on Sunday. He was like, yeah, wow. What a great stretch. You're very busy. I was so excited. It's so nice to be home. I love living with Chris. That's my update. My dad asked me yesterday. I went over nice to be home. I love living with Chris. That's my update.

Starting point is 00:03:07 My dad asked me yesterday. I went over to see my parents. He was like, how's it going? How's it going with Chris? I'm like, it's great. Can I just say this guy is like, he's clean. He like cleans up after himself all the time. He's organized.

Starting point is 00:03:23 He is constantly getting, and this might be just like honeymoon stages of living together, but I don't think so. Because this is kind of who he is. He constantly has the fridge stocked with my Zevias. He constantly is getting all my snacks that I want. I'm never wanting for anything. The only thing I do is make the bed

Starting point is 00:03:40 and he would probably do that if I wasn't sleeping in it when he left. You know, like I don't. He takes out the trash. By the time I think something is soiled enough for it to be cleaned or folded or put away, his timeline's a little bit faster so

Starting point is 00:03:57 he already gets to it. It's really nice. I like this gender role reversal that's happening. I know. I like this gender role reversal. I know. That's nice. Yeah, and I've been beating him. Oh, great.

Starting point is 00:04:11 That's changing things up. We're just trying to do it differently. Yeah. I grew up with, I think this is, I don't want to make this Oedipal, but I grew up with a mom who was a tidy person too, and things

Starting point is 00:04:28 just got done without me even knowing they were getting done, and it's kind of that vibe again. But the thing is, it keeps me cleaner, because it keeps me accountable. I don't want to be a slob, but it's not like I'm ashamed of who I am and like, oh, I got to straighten up,

Starting point is 00:04:44 because he does. It's just making I'm ashamed of who I am and like, oh, I got to straighten up because he does. It's just making me a little bit more just I can't be as gross as I probably am prone to be. I will say that I have not unpacked from my trip on Sunday. It is now Tuesday and my bags are just splayed out like my suitcases are just vomiting in the like they're laid out. So the whole apartment's clean except my suitcase is like there's little piles in different corners and he's cool with that he doesn't he's not like every time he walks by it or like do you want me to get this for you like it's just agreed upon like that Taylor does my stuff of love is blind uh Brazil where the guy they broke up because he was like oh but yeah no he was like I watched it in yeah, no, he was like, I watched it in Portuguese.

Starting point is 00:05:27 Yeah. He goes, there is, there are two things to do when you take off your clothes. Put them away or put them in the dirty clothes. That's it.

Starting point is 00:05:34 And I think about that all the time and that's why they broke up because the girl was a little messy and was like, I don't think that was mine. Don't you think it's always something bigger than that? You know?

Starting point is 00:05:44 That was like, a chief reason. Speaking of the chiefs i actually went back and watched love is blind this weekend because i was with um my friend lizzie kuberman we did a country club together on friday night and then afterwards we were just sitting in our yeah we it was really fun it was just what you would expect it to be wow lizzie kuberman country club is a great musician. I know. You don't know Lizzie's act. No, she didn't bring her keyboard. She was like, I think I'm just going to do it without the keyboard. I'm like, I think that's a good idea because they wouldn't even know what to make of you.

Starting point is 00:06:13 They didn't know what to make of her anyway. She's so funny. She's just like, who here drives a Kia Soul? She's just like asking all these rich people if they drive Kia Souls. And she also also has just amazing jokes. They did like her, but she was berating them

Starting point is 00:06:30 when she noticed that they didn't. It was just nice that she called them out on it. Then they got on board because there's just no denying that she just has great jokes. Her approach is just what intimidates people and scares them.

Starting point is 00:06:43 She stalks the stage witchy style and um and so that first they just don't know what to make of it but she screamed them into submission and i what and i fucked up her intro i was gonna say you know her you've seen her on the comedy central the show corporate and uh she wrote for my show not safe and nikki glazer and she has all these, you know, Adult Swim and blah, blah, blah. And then I was going to say, and she opens on the road for Richard Marks. We were just joking like that would be just a funny person to say that maybe these people would respect her more

Starting point is 00:07:14 if she said something. And then she was going to go out and say, not only do I open for Richard Marks, I open for the Marks Brothers, I open for Marky Mark and I'm a Marxist. We forgot to do that intro. It was, it would have been so good. Um, so anyway, after the show, we were watching TV. She's obsessed with down for love too. Um, that's not, that's not the sequel. She's also obsessed with down for love and, um, she, uh, and I were watching that and then she was like oh my god i just realized the most

Starting point is 00:07:46 insane thing i've ever seen on a reality show is love is blind brazil and i was like i think i've seen it she was like where the doors open and a girl is big and the man like can't handle it and he like you know just he hugs her and stuff i think we talked about it on the show before. But we rewatched it. And the girl was so cool, though. She was like, he can't handle me. That's fine. This happens a lot in my life.

Starting point is 00:08:14 I'll get over it. I'll find someone who will like me. It wasn't like she didn't. If it would have happened to me, I would have probably not been able to handle that. But I guess that's what happens if you go on love is blind as a bigger girl and you know that you can't reveal what you look like at all you know that people are petty and especially men and that you might those doors might open and they might their face might fall or whatever happen every once in a while and love is blind or else it'll get boring if every time the doors

Starting point is 00:08:43 open and they're like oh oh my god, they're just as beautiful as I imagined, then what's the point of the show? No, it doesn't get boring. No, I think everyone thinks we want to see people get hurt, but everyone wants to see everyone happy, I think. Yes, of course. We want to see everybody happy, but there needs to be one

Starting point is 00:08:59 person getting hurt per season so that we really appreciate when the other people are happy. Maybe, yeah, it other people are happy. Otherwise, it's just like 10 years, 10 seasons of everyone's happy. It's like, well, then this show is not going to show us. There's no drama. Yeah. Well, they get unhappy later. I like the

Starting point is 00:09:15 reveal though. I will say that I want every reveal. I want the woman to feel beautiful and the man to feel happy. I always want them to be as happy with their decision as they were when the wall was up and they couldn't see the skin texture of the person on the other side. It would be nice if when they open the doors and show how happy

Starting point is 00:09:31 they are, how beautiful they are, they cut to four years later when they're both like, I fucking hate that person. Just to undercut it a little bit. That's all I want for whenever I see weddings. I just want to snap my fingers and see these two people in two years kind of hating each other

Starting point is 00:09:46 in the car. Look, both the man driving just with both hands on the steering wheel just like, like steam coming out of his nose

Starting point is 00:09:54 and the woman just looking out the window as far as she can crane her neck the other way to just be like, I'm not even in the same car as you. You know, when you look so far,

Starting point is 00:10:01 your neck starts to hurt just to let the other person know. I'm pretending you're not here. You're not here in my world right now i just want to snap and cut to that because um i think that's really what it's about but we love watching people i love watching people fall in love that maybe that's why everyone should watch f boy island premiering october 16th on monday on cw coming up holy shit my dad's very excited. Really? Yes. I was like, yeah, you know, Nikki has a new show. It's on the CW, so you could watch it. It's on major network.

Starting point is 00:10:32 He's like, yeah, I watch CW. I watch the news all the time. Now I'm going to watch the show. Oh, my God. Yes. You hook in some boomers now. Yes. You watch CW live on Monday, and then Tuesday, it'll be on Amazon Prime, so you can watch it there on Tuesday. Oh, you watch CW live on Monday and then Tuesday it'll be on Amazon Prime

Starting point is 00:10:45 so you can watch it there on Tuesday if you don't catch it. For money or for free? I think you have to have a Prime account so it's money. And you still get the credit. But I think it's there. I still get the credit. What do you mean? Like your show still gets ratings and it helps you. Like it'll help you

Starting point is 00:11:02 get a second seat. Yeah, I think watch it either way. I'll be fine. Yeah, I think I'll be fine. I mean, I think everyone would prefer you watch it on the CW live because that's, I think that's what everyone wants. Because why would they even have it delayed a day unless there was some incentive to watch it then? So yeah, try to watch it live. But it's an amazing season.

Starting point is 00:11:19 And there's going to be people you recognize from past seasons. If you haven't watched the past seasons of it, that's okay too. I think those are both up on the CW streaming app. I don't know. Katie from The Bachelorette is on there. Are you allowed to talk about that? How did that happen?

Starting point is 00:11:37 Thirst Trap Thurston. Is that what she goes by? She was a past Bachelorette and she, or no, she was on The Bachelor as one of the contestants. Then she was a bachelorette. So we lucked out because she did not find love

Starting point is 00:11:54 on those shows. And so we got her on this show and she, people go like, how was she? I go, this girl knows how to do a reality show. She knows how to let herself fall. She knows how to do a reality show. She knows how to let herself fall. She knows how to let herself be vulnerable. She knows how to, she just, she's not, you know, when people get on these shows, they sign up for them and they are terrified.

Starting point is 00:12:14 They like sign up because they're maybe drunk on some wine and they see a casting call on their stories and they go, okay, I'll do this. And then they do an interview and they kind of go, okay, maybe I can do this. But until they get there, they don't know what they're in for and they can really freeze up on camera and not be as great as maybe people had hoped. And by great, I mean, just like yourself, act like a normal human. Don't act like I'm on TV and I have to be perfect. It's just, I think that's what she's, she's already had so much experience in front of the camera that um she's comfortable being in front of it and you know being being vulnerable and that's the most

Starting point is 00:12:51 important thing on these shows so she was great and she's funny and um yeah that that's people keep asking me how she was and i'm just like easy like there wasn't there it was just careful saying easy yeah well that too wait do you see she why do you think she's a running ass no she's actually a stand-up too yes she does stand up as well and so she's funny and yeah it was just it was nice to have someone on that had some media training. It's just nice because by the end of the show, everyone gets comfortable and everyone's used to a camera. But right out of the gate with her, it was like, oh, okay, this is a pro. This is a reality TV pro. So it's a great season.

Starting point is 00:13:44 My first question to you was, do these people actually fall in love? Do these people actually get heartbroken? And I was shocked by your answer. Yeah, I mean, no one's that good of an actor. Yeah. That's always my answer. Not the people that are contestants on the show. No one on the show is an Oscar winning actor.

Starting point is 00:13:59 No. And I mean, FBoy Island is if you don't know the premise, it's three girls looking for love and then there's, I think this season, 12 F-Boys, 12 nice guys. And they all appear as F-Boys. And the girls have to determine who's who. And the F-Boys are just there for the money. And they're there to deceive the women. Now, they can change their heart.

Starting point is 00:14:19 And after meeting the girls, they could maybe fall in love and decide, oh, God, I'm not here for the money. And I want to split the money with the girl. Cause at the end, if the girl chooses the guy, all the money goes to him. If he's an F boy and he can either keep it all, or he can split it with her.

Starting point is 00:14:32 If they, if the girl chooses a nice guy, then she has to, they have to split it. So, um, the interesting thing about the show is that, uh,

Starting point is 00:14:42 even if they know it's an F boy, they sometimes don't care. And they're like, no, he'll change. And that's where you see some good acting where you go, oh my God, this guy, because I'm playing the game too. I don't know who's who. So a lot of times I will be completely shocked

Starting point is 00:14:56 that these guys can be such liars. And so, but in terms of falling in love, like, I don't know, they really do. I don't know how to describe it, but it's of falling in love, like, I don't know. They really do. I don't know how to describe it. But it's just, it makes sense. Because when you fall in love with someone, how long does it take for a girl to be like, I think I'm in love, like a month of dating someone?

Starting point is 00:15:14 I mean, let's be real. If you really, that's how long girls start to tell each other, like, I think I'm in love with him. They won't tell the guy that because they've read the books to not do that. But they start having those kind of feelings of like hanging out with him a lot. What is that? A month of hanging out? Probably like, no, eight hangs?

Starting point is 00:15:28 At least infatuation happens fast. Yeah, and probably slept together four times. Although people aren't sleeping together on the show because there's not overnights until the very end, these people are just hanging out with each other all the time, talking about each other all the time. They don't do anything else. It's like we could all find romance that fast if our lives had no jobs, no cell phones, and all we did was talk about

Starting point is 00:15:51 the person we're falling in love with. And that was our main goal there was to find love. It's like, it would happen to you too. It would happen to everyone. No one's immune to this process. Especially because everyone's so hot. Right. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:02 I mean, imagine you walk into a room and there's 20 of the hottest guys you've ever seen. You're not going to fall in love with one of them within three weeks. And all you're doing all day is hanging out and talking about relationships, right? And trying to get closer. Every time that you're not talking to this guy that you like,

Starting point is 00:16:21 someone is going, so you really like Jeremy, don't you? And Jeremy seems to really like you. Tell me about it. It's like, it's constant, like girls chat about the guy that you're dating. And you're not,

Starting point is 00:16:33 you have no distractions. You have no bills. You have no pets. You have no, you have to refill the Brita. There's not, your food is brought to you. You're,

Starting point is 00:16:40 you know, you're staying at a hotel. There's nothing to do except fall in love. So you're gonna fall in love. And I'm almost jealous when I watch these people go through this. I just always say to Bill,

Starting point is 00:16:50 my producer, I'm like, in another life, I wish I could have done these shows where I just get a vacation from my life for eight weeks and all I do is have to fall in love with people

Starting point is 00:17:01 or compete with other women to like win over a guy. That's my dream. My dream. And Bill's always like, we can get you in. Like, let's develop a show. I'm like, I'm in a great relationship. So it's too late.

Starting point is 00:17:16 That train has already, you know, flown. Yes. I was trying to think of it. We both made the same joke. Yeah, but it's gone. The train has sailed. But man, does that appeal to you guys at all to go on a TV

Starting point is 00:17:30 show and fall in love? The vacation part did. Definitely. No, but I mean like falling in love on TV. No, it's too intimidating. I like the idea. What do you think of all the hot bods? Yeah, well the hot bods for sure is intimidating. Like competing? You wouldn't want to compete with all the people that have hot bods? Right. Well, yes, but let compete with all the people that have hot bods? Right.

Starting point is 00:17:46 Well, yes. But let's say like I get to have a hot bod too. Yeah. I think like it would be. We loan you one. Okay. So I get. I loan. I rent someone's hot bod.

Starting point is 00:17:54 Everyone gets to rent one. Uh-huh. The fact that like my personality would have to like pierce through everybody else. That's like a lot of pressure. I don't think I'm that. See, that's the only thing I know I could do. I have so much dumb confidence and i would i think that's the problem is i think that i would win even with my bod that i have where my ass is turning into

Starting point is 00:18:12 a map of the united states like a messy drawing map of the united states like my sides do you know that's part of your sides that comes out like the flank of your thigh and your butt like my butt goes like this and then there's florida and then there's you know fucking baja california on this side it's like a map it's i can't look at it from behind anymore it's just become a huge problem but um even with my body the way it is against these girls with their bodies i think i could still sweep it but that's my delusion because i think that I would not be too thirsty. And I'm a good first date.

Starting point is 00:18:49 I feel like I'm good at getting guys to feel really special. Sure. Which is what you need to do. That's true of life. Yeah. I think you get right in there and you ask the right questions and you're just good at TV too. And that probably makes the guy on a TV show feel like, oh, this is

Starting point is 00:19:07 a perfect co-star for me. So as a couple on TV, you'd work. But I wonder how it would be the second the cameras are off. You guys would probably be... Yeah, probably pretty boring. I'd probably break up right away, just like most of them do because there is something so good about being a couple on TV.

Starting point is 00:19:24 Which, speaking of being a couple on TV, there's a new one this week that is official. Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift. Oh, they're official? 100% official. Oh. She was sitting next to his mom in the booth. That's true. People were like, is this their first date?

Starting point is 00:19:40 I'm like, you think she would go on a first date with Travis Kelsey to go see him and sit with his mom in the booth? These people have been talking since July. I gotta say, as a football fan, I am shocked. Out of all the players in the NFL, I guess because Travis Kelsey is goofy and stuff, that that makes sense. Because he's not just like some super cool wide receiver or something. He's like a goofy, fun guy. So that makes sense. She usually goes for pretty cool, stoic guys.

Starting point is 00:20:09 So this is a departure for her. This is kind of like a rebound. I don't know. I'm shocked. I would have never guessed. No one would have guessed. That's why everybody that is an NFL fan, all of the sideline reporters, all the halftime people are just like going insane over this. But isn't he elite?

Starting point is 00:20:23 Isn't he one of the best players in the NFL? And isn't he kind of hot too? I mean, I have eyes. He's hot. He has piercing eyes. His jawline is nothing to, you know, shake a stick at. No, it is something to shake a stick at.

Starting point is 00:20:39 I think when guys see a hot guy, they're intimidated. Right? And they're like admiring their body and their jockeyness. Like everyone loves Travis Kelsey. But the thing that always made Travis Kelsey more accessible was that he's such a goof that it kind of makes him less cool. Why? What have you seen him doing that's so goofy?

Starting point is 00:21:02 Oh, is he making fart sounds with his armpit? He's been in many commercials where he just looks like... There's one commercial in particular I'm remembering from two years ago where he is dancing in a commercial. And he looks... The whole commercial is crazy, but he looks so dumb doing this dance. He's doing like this.

Starting point is 00:21:25 He looks like a dad dancing for his daughter. It's not like good dancing. I like you judging people's dancing. Now that you qualify. Now that I'm an elite dancer, he's an elite tight end. I just feel like it's nothing against him, but he's so goofy and uncool. Yeah. I think that's what she needs.

Starting point is 00:21:45 That's what she needs. I like it. I think that's what she needs. That's what she needs. I think he's hot. He looks like a thick slab of meat. He's a very good looking man. You know what's good? Thick cut bacon you can get. We gotta go to the break, but we're gonna talk about how we feel about everything and we're gonna talk about some of the details of it and just my thoughts on it because a lot of besties have been

Starting point is 00:22:01 asking me what I think and I know it's like late and everyone's given their take by the time that this airs but you deserve mine as well and we'll zip through it but we do have to get to it right after this Jon Stewart is back at the Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight

Starting point is 00:22:17 to your ears with the Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics entertainment sports and more joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors and with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else ready to laugh and stay informed listen on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts

Starting point is 00:22:46 i started to live a double life when i was a teenager responsible and driven and wild and out of control my head is pounding i'm confused i don't know why I'm in jail. It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part

Starting point is 00:23:41 of the Michael Lura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica and I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the good moms, bad choices podcast brought to you by the black effect podcast network. Every Wednesday,, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women,

Starting point is 00:24:09 then this is your tribe. With guests like Corinne Steffens. I've never seen so many women protect predatory men. And then me too happened. And then everybody else wanted to get pissed off because the white said it was okay. Problem. My oldest daughter, her first day in ninth grade,

Starting point is 00:24:22 and I called to ask how I was doing. She was like, Oh dad, all they were doing was talking about your thing in class. I ruined my baby's first day of high school. And slumflower. What turns me on is when a man sends me money. Like, I feel the moisture between my legs when a man sends me money. I'm like, oh, my God, it's go time.

Starting point is 00:24:39 You actually sent it? Listen to the Good Moms, Bad bad choices podcast every wednesday on the black effect podcast network the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you go to find your podcast all right we're back um yeah it was it was an alarming moment when i saw the picture of her pop-up it on my feed seconds after it aired i mean i was one of the first people i didn't see it live but it was five seconds after it happened it was on one of the dozens of like taylor swift accounts i follow is like kiki swifty or whatever throws it up and i'm like oh my god first of all i thought she was in the booth with her mom because his mom looks like her mom which by the way big sign of that something if you're

Starting point is 00:25:20 like parents look like each other my mom and chris's mom look very much alike i think it's a sign you just that's like there's something going on there she's very close with her throughout the booth interactions which means they've met before or maybe they're meeting for the first time but there's like a familiarity there that um yeah that tells me they've been talking for a while there is no question that they have been they have been talking within days or weeks of him attempting to give her a bracelet at the arrowhead show that i saw july 7th so they have at least been talking since july 7th yeah which is enough time and they've been quietly hanging out when he was injured right he was injured he was canoodling yeah so they were quietly just staring at each other in a chair holding each other creating and just holding

Starting point is 00:26:08 and just looking at each other like Carlos and what's her name on Down for Love what's her name do you remember her I was thinking of Carlos and Quackers oh Carlos and Quackers no Carlos and Eleanor in Down for Love yeah they're just quietly gazing at each other

Starting point is 00:26:24 I'm quite excited to see in Down for Love. Yeah, they're just quietly gazing at each other. I'm quite excited to see him. Down for Love, you've got to watch. His photographs are quite stirring. There's never a dull moment with Carlos. There's never a dull moment with Carlos. But anyway, so I was like really sad at first. I don't know why. I think it was because.

Starting point is 00:26:44 Devastated was the word you used i think it was devastated i was i was like i was just sitting at the i'd just gotten home from the road it was on sunday i was at the kitchen counter chris was like cooking and i we were just hanging out catching up and then i just go and i just showed him and then my face just went into my onto the counter and my head just hit the counter and i was like it's real and i think it depressed me because anytime there's a wedge between taylor and i or what i imagine and not him being the wedge i mean just something that makes her cooler than me or something that makes her like i can't i she's just like that that makes her different than me because i think that's the reason I love her

Starting point is 00:27:25 so much is because I feel like we're so similar in so many ways. Like her love of baking is a slight wedge. That's a wedge. I don't bake. I don't have any interest in baking. I'm like, Oh wedge, her love of organization,

Starting point is 00:27:37 another wedge. Okay. Well, I'm friends with people who like to bake and organize. We can still be friends. Her love of football. Oh, big wedge

Starting point is 00:27:45 and i know that i just recently started understanding football which chris by the way was like is that why you became interested in football is because of the rumors of her dating him i was curious about that too no totally not connected at all just a coincidence but i understand the suspicions i understand and part And part of me even goes, was it a subconscious thing that you knew this was going to happen? And so you had to like catch up. So I am amping up my trying to like enjoy more football and understand it more because I do want, like I was crying last night

Starting point is 00:28:18 because I was having an imposter syndrome day. And I was just like, just like, and I was giving an example of just how wild my thoughts are and so don't judge me listener please don't be like Nikki just don't go on reddit and say Nikki's losing her mind she said this thing I know this is a crazy thought and that's why I was even saying it but I was like if I were Taylor I'm so he goes you don't I go she knows so much about football she's like such a cool girl now like it's I was giving him examples of how my envy this week is out of control.

Starting point is 00:28:48 I cannot control my envy. It's I'm envious of everything and everyone. And I'm having a lot of self doubt, a lot of self flagellation, a lot of self hatred. I don't know what's coming from. I hope it's just a, you know, a moment in my life because I'm just tired or overworked or something. But I, it's just really, uh, it's, it's pummeling me every day. This like jealousy and not jealousy. Cause jealousy is when you're worried that something's going to be taken from you. Mine's just envy of like, why can't I be that way? So I was telling him, you know, Taylor Swift, even Taylor Swift

Starting point is 00:29:20 in the box. I was like, it just, he goes goes why would that you you could be in the box too and i'm like but she's cheering at all the right spots and he's like you could cheer the right spots too all all she could be doing she could understand football just as much as you do it's not that hard to look at one guy and when he catches a ball you cheer but i think it is hard because by the way she's not stupid she would never put herself in a situation i go no i bet she knows so much about football because she would never put herself in a situation where she would ever look dumb and if you don't fully understand football you can look dumb even if you think you're following it the correct way all the time yes so if she is even a second

Starting point is 00:30:00 behind anyone else if they even catch her like not knowing what football is, she is going to be skewered, pilloried, witch trials, you know? So I know Taylor in this way of her not putting herself in situations where she'll look dumb. She knows football. That's why she was confident in being in that box and it being photographed.

Starting point is 00:30:19 She also wore the colors of the team. So it's like, if you're going to wear the colors and the red lipstick and everything like you gotta know something oh you can't like you can be there and i think i no one's looking at me that closely at games so i can get away with seeming like i know what i'm talking about by cheering a millisecond after everyone else but if there's cameras on you watching people would have caught on if she didn't really know what was going on. Yeah. And Chris was like, you're crazy.

Starting point is 00:30:46 Not, he didn't say you're crazy, but he goes, you're out of your mind. He's like, you need to be committed. I'm calling three, one,

Starting point is 00:30:53 one, four, one, one. What? I don't know what you call off sides. You're off sides because yes, thank you.

Starting point is 00:31:04 Because she could just be mimicking what everyone around her is doing. And you wouldn't notice. And I'm like i just don't think i think she knows what she's talking about and it just makes me sad that there's one extra thing i think because i was trying to get at the root of why i'm so sad about this and i'm not sad anymore i'm just sad at the fact i think this all represents to me that she's way cooler than i am she's like not only she's the best singer to me and the best songwriter and just this musical maven and she's the prettiest person with the arms that i want and the body that i want that i like almost have but i just cannot really get anymore like she's just 15 pounds away from me and she's

Starting point is 00:31:38 just represents so much stuff that i'm close to that now this creates a further divide of her being like a wag what do they call it uh wife athletes get wags do you guys know what i'm talking about no no they're called wags uh wives of athletes i don't know what um i forget what it's what the acronym stands for but um it's just there's just a coolness thing that i'm just like oh okay well she's just not i can't ever hang with this girl she's too cool for me and i think that's what made me sad but in all seriousness i'm just very happy that she looks so happy that she looked free and like she wasn't being hounded up in that box it seemed like she was around safe people and she i just feel bad for her being just this spectacle constantly and i i know that she doesn't feel bad for herself about it,

Starting point is 00:32:25 but I just think it's, there was a little bit of like, I want to protect her. And now the NFL is going to be obsessed with her. It's like, it's all that much more attention, all that much more scrutiny. And now if they win this game,

Starting point is 00:32:37 she's this lucky charm. Then when they start to lose, they didn't just win, they annihilated. But wasn't it a game that everyone kind of knew they would? It was kind of... I even said to Chris, I think that Travis Kelsey was putting it on a little bit, like he was trying

Starting point is 00:32:52 harder and more impressive because Taylor was there. And Chris was like, no, he always is that impressive. And I go, but so am I. But when you're watching, I'm more impressive. So I'm a professional. He goes, Travis Kelsey is a professional. He was doing his job. He wasn't better because Taylor was there. And I go, I promise

Starting point is 00:33:08 you he was. As a professional, I know for a fact I will be doing the most important performance of my life. But if a guy who I am romantically attracted to, who I want to think that I'm attractive, I will be that much better and sparklier.

Starting point is 00:33:24 Travis Kelsey does not catch a touchdown in every single game. He catches a touchdown in roughly 75% of the games. But in this particular game, I don't even understand why Patrick Mahomes was out there at this point. But Patrick Mahomes threw a touchdown to Travis Kelsey at a point in the game where

Starting point is 00:33:39 it did not matter at all. And so he just came off an injury. Maybe if Taylor Swift wasn't there, Travis Kelsey would have been on the sideline at that point. Instead, he cut a touchdown pass. They seem like a good match to me, and I'll tell you why. I did not know this guy had a dating show on E! before. Yeah, he did.

Starting point is 00:33:59 I didn't know that either. Yeah, it was a show where he dated over 50 women. And I forget what it was called. Something like Dating Travis or something. Whatever. Travis needs to find a wag or whatever. It's wife and girlfriend, by the way. So you were right.

Starting point is 00:34:12 Oh, thank you. But yeah, this guy's in the public eye. He wants to be famous. He is famous. He's not just an athlete. So they're both like, you know, it's not that he's an expert in his field, but he's damn near close. And he's totally comfortable with fame. And he's's playing the game so they're both good at it he's on like he has like five different commercials right now too like he is on tv all the time out at one of

Starting point is 00:34:35 his deliveries i wish someone would have just worked with him a little bit harder on that one where he's like it's this commercial where he's like, my homes, like my homes is wearing a jersey. Yeah. And he's like, my auto, my auto. And he's like, why couldn't I be Kelsey,

Starting point is 00:34:50 Kelsey, my home or like, like C S E E. But they, he just, let's say like the word is they're trying to get him to say Kelsey, my home. He just says,

Starting point is 00:35:01 Kelsey, my home. And it's like, if someone would have just given him a little bit of direction, this guy could follow and it would be like no it's like kel see my home or like see if you can get a better rate on your auto insurance kel see if you can get but he goes kelsey if you can get a better rate on my auto insurance you know what i mean like yes i always wonder if there's like an intimidated director on the set it's like that was great that was great it's like just tell someone who's famous

Starting point is 00:35:25 And there's a confident man who probably is like, I want to get in and out of here and collect my $10 million for this ad and I don't want to waste more than 40. I have a hard out

Starting point is 00:35:34 because I have to go. Or that was the best take they could get. It was like the 27th take. Yeah, I got it from my phone number. Some people don't have good timing,

Starting point is 00:35:43 but this guy. Another lovable tight end in the NFL, Rob Gronkowski, who's a lovable Nickelodeon star. He is the spokesperson for USAA insurance for retired military. And his delivery in these commercials is, he's clearly not,

Starting point is 00:36:04 it's not to take the director wanted every single time clearly however if i were in a commercial where i'm a comedian catching a football it would be so embarrassing but i'm just saying that i think travis kelsey if he saw me catch a football and no one gave me any help he could be like i could have given her a slight pointer that would have made that look way better than it was so i I don't expect a ton from him. I'm just disappointed in the director of that commercial. And that I'm like, you should have just spoken up, man. There's been so many Gronk USAA commercials that have been like that.

Starting point is 00:36:34 It's kind of like becoming his character and it's starting to work. Yeah. What's his name? Eli and who's the other guy that was in the... Eli and Peyton Manning? Peyton Manning did the roast with me. His delivery is even...

Starting point is 00:36:47 They talk like football players doing a comedy thing. There's a style of a football player in a salsa commercial. It's just... I don't know. Where's the one guy, Steve Young? Is that the guy that's catching TVs?

Starting point is 00:37:02 He's like, the best catch I've ever... The best thing I ever caught was this TV. Probably not Steve Young because he's a quarterback. So it's probably like Jerry Rice or something. It's Jerry Rice. And Chris goes, man, I think this guy is probably falling on some hard times because he is in like a hundred commercials. Yeah, they're in that

Starting point is 00:37:17 Tostitos commercial now. But he's good. I think that guy has learned how to do it really well. But anyway, I think Travis Kelsey is fucking hot. You know a lot about football now, Nick. Yeah yeah just from watching the ads they have the best ads football always gets the best ads they are so funny they're engaging and maybe i'm enjoying them because i'm so bored with the fucking game that i'm so excited something else is on tv maybe that's why i'm paying attention to them but i um no i'm not that bored with football anymore. I'm slightly getting it. But I will say that what I thought was so cute

Starting point is 00:37:48 was that Travis Kelsey, like I am getting him finally. Like he gave her that friendship, he tried to give her that friendship bracelet. I thought that was like a weird kind of desperate attempt. And I thought, Taylor, don't fall for this. This is a guy trying to get in the headlines with you. He's just clout chasing. And you know what?

Starting point is 00:38:04 I think he's just kind of who he is. Like he just thought that's the best way to get in the headlines with you. He's just clout chasing. And you know what? I think he's just kind of who he is. Like he just thought that's the best way to get in touch with her. I'm going to do it. Like, I don't think it was that calculated because throughout the whole game, this isn't a guy that's trying to look. He is like looking up at the box to like, see if she's watching. He's not like it's, there was this really long shot of him while he's standing next to his coach who looks like the kool-aid man while he's standing next to him and he's like

Starting point is 00:38:29 trying to talk to the team and give them a play um travis kelsey is looking up at the box like like a little kid trying to look for his parents at a you know a third grade recital like and like see like you know just like not paying attention at all but like looking it was really adorable and i'm thinking real if that guy was trying to be cool he wouldn't be doing that no he's not cool he's not cool i like it yeah i like it for her and you know what he also did people have been saying this online he rented at a restaurant after before you get there what's your take on the video of them walking out i thought i love that they weren't holding hands yet i think she always holds hands too that they weren't holding hands yet. I think she always holds hands too soon.

Starting point is 00:39:06 And I think holding hands is just a statement to everyone that like this is love and everyone freaks out. I liked that they weren't holding hands. Let me just say that first. Her outfit was cute as fuck. Let me just say there is an account I followed called Taylor Swift Styled. And this girl is amazing.

Starting point is 00:39:21 She will like find the fourth stud that Taylor Swift is wearing behind like, you know, a thousand pieces of hair. She will find like find the fourth stud that taylor swift is wearing behind like you know a thousand pieces of hair she will find like the exact diamond stud that this girl that she bought i don't know how she does it but she is connected she knows exactly what taylor wears up and down so anytime there's an outfit of taylor or taylor gets spotted somewhere taylor swift style will post each of the items and you can buy it so i bought her shoes immediately um she's wearing like these white and red New Balance sneakers

Starting point is 00:39:47 that I don't even really particularly like, but I just had to get them. Whenever she wears something slightly affordable, I get it. They were 90 bucks. I had to get them. And then I also bought a denim trench that she was wearing the other day. That was not that cheap, but it wasn't so crazy

Starting point is 00:40:04 because oftentimes she's wearing a necklace that's like sixteen thousand dollars or she's carrying a bag that's like eight thousand dollars and this denim trench I got was like 460 and I think I'll wear it forever and ever because it's really cute and it goes to your feet and it's like it's just great but um I loved her outfit I loved her chiefs um you know windbreaker type thing over the shoulder and she was kind of just like she just looked so relaxed and cute. And then them walking out, I liked his outfit because I didn't know this until the next day.

Starting point is 00:40:29 But he was wearing a Taylor Swift denim set that is the 1989 inspired. So this guy named Kid Genius, he's a fashion designer, designed a suit called the 1989 suit. And it has the seagulls on it kind of looking like paint, but that's the 1989, which is the next album

Starting point is 00:40:49 that she is re-releasing. So he was like wearing a Taylor Swift merch type thing on a date with her. Then they went out and Noah, I asked you to look up details because I haven't read

Starting point is 00:40:58 all the details. They went to the parlor in Kansas City? No, Prime Social Rooftop. Prime Social Rooftop. And he rented out the whole place and it was just him and his family and friends. I heard that no one had to like give up their phones

Starting point is 00:41:10 because everyone respected her privacy. That it was just like a cool atmosphere with people that weren't too showy or bugging her too much. And it was just, and they were like touchy feely, but not too much. And she just had like a relaxing evening

Starting point is 00:41:21 and she has never just driven off in a, oh, she was dancing? Oh my God. And she has never just driven off in a, oh, she was dancing. Oh my God. I love that. She's so comfortable. They drove off in a convertible into the night. Like that was super cool.

Starting point is 00:41:34 It just seemed like he, she's always kind of the one that's walking first. And then her boyfriends are trailing behind. And this seems like a guy that's like a fucking man who knows who he's with and is not, it is so impressed with her and like really appreciates what a fucking diamond he has and what an amazing and like he went after her you know he pursued her he you know is still working on feeling like he deserves her but he probably feel it just seems cool with the other guy matt healy or whatever like did we ever hear how he courted

Starting point is 00:42:06 her like do we ever hear how these other guys court her i think they dated previously before she got together with joe and so i don't i don't know how the other people have courted her i mean indie rock guys don't or not that he's indie really but i'm sure he was just like do you want to do you want to smoke a cigarette with me? They're not really going out of their way. Well, I feel bad for Taylor Swift because there's no DM sliding for her. We all get that, and that is how most people meet this day.

Starting point is 00:42:33 What was that? She doesn't have access to that. Yeah, I mean, she definitely has a private Instagram account, but her own, she's getting so many DMs, there's no way that she's going to be able to see if some guy shoots his shot.

Starting point is 00:42:45 So it's not necessarily that easy for her to meet someone. I was thinking about that. Like if I were single, I would rely on my DMs for where people were shooting their shot to ask me out. That's the place you go, especially as a celebrity who kind of doesn't go out that much.

Starting point is 00:43:00 And I'm not putting myself into that category, but I don't really go out that much and I don't drink or anything like you that's like your space to do to to to have someone follow up with you and she doesn't have that so I I don't know really how she meets people I'm guessing just through friends of friends um the Hadid's and yeah and just and people getting her putting her name in a headline with them saying I want to date taylor swift that got her attention i think that was the first thing that started didn't jen and brad meet through their managers like in the 90s or whatever like i wonder if agents still do a little bit of matchmaking like that like if taylor's people travis's people can't they contact her people probably but taylor's

Starting point is 00:43:42 pretty hard to get to i would think for even the biggest star in the world. But I just like this. I like it for her. She seems really happy. He seems really cute. So do you think you're going to be a Chiefs fan now? Yeah, I want everything. I want, yeah. Okay, I have a team to root for.

Starting point is 00:43:59 What other team would you root for? No one. I mean, I don't give a fuck about any of it. And so, yeah, I like the colors. Kirsten's from Kansas City. I went to school in for. No, I mean, I don't give a fuck about any of it. And so, yeah. I like the colors. Kirsten's from Kansas City. I went to school in Lawrence. Yeah, I'll... You'll be playing Lawrence soon? I'll be playing Lawrence

Starting point is 00:44:12 very soon. Yeah, that special's coming up. Kansas City is probably the closest team to you, isn't it? To St. Louis? Yeah. Yeah, probably is.

Starting point is 00:44:20 Yeah, it is Missouri. Yeah. Which... Which... The NFL is, like, very patriarchal like these guys are the the ones in the relationship that get the attention sure they date like giselle has dated an nfl or married an nfl player but all the women that date them seem to have to fall into the subserv sub role right even gelle, the fucking supermodel.

Starting point is 00:44:46 But Taylor Swift is a boss bitch. Have any other boss bitches dated or married NFL players? Because I feel like that's what all these wags have to do. They have to sort of diminish themselves and be a little... I don't know if Giselle

Starting point is 00:44:59 diminished herself. And then as soon as they got divorced, Tom Brady's career fell off a cliff and she always made more money than him she was always worth more than him russell wilson is uh married to ciara right there's nothing for her there's no box seat at a fashion show though you know like there's nowhere for us to see tom brady cheering her on which i think you're talking that's it speaks to the like they're like you know athletes. They're like gladiators. And so, yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:27 I get what you're saying, though. I think that... They immediately have children and they sort of fade away. Because women do most of the work with kids. Well, Giselle, Giselle's a model and she was going up into her 40s and most models just fade away once they get up into that age.

Starting point is 00:45:44 I don't know. Did you see Naomi Campbell walk the catwalk last week it's in fucking sane and i think she's like 52 or 3 or something yeah but that's just a genetic freak i just think that no i don't i don't think it's going to be a problem i know what you're saying though but um i think that this is what she's been looking for as like an alpha male okay I think it's what she probably hasn't

Starting point is 00:46:07 gone for in the past she's gone for you know these like tortured artists kind of guys actors are kind of like they

Starting point is 00:46:13 that's feminine energy actors are feminine energy musicians are feminine energy they're always dealing in their feelings and she's dating this now she's dating a guy who's in his masculine energy

Starting point is 00:46:22 that is going to allow her to be in her feminine energy. And I think as much as she is a masculine energy on stage, off stage, she might, this is where we might be very much alike.

Starting point is 00:46:33 She wants to be in her feminine energy off stage, but on stage, she's a badass bitch, but she doesn't need that all the time. Right. Is he going to be okay

Starting point is 00:46:41 with her doing Era's tour around the world, though? He, I mean, he went to Era's tour around the world though? He went to Era's tour and was talking about how he loved seeing her kill it there. Yeah, I think he's supportive.

Starting point is 00:46:54 I can get off on that. I like how supportive he is of her. He knows her stuff. And Swifties are speculating this is going to be the one they're going to get married. Wow. I can see it i think i think she's ready i think she wants to have kids and he's a nice guy not settle down but she is going to be on tour until november 2024 i think it's like me and chris like chris

Starting point is 00:47:17 doesn't care that i'm gone all the time and that i'm on stage and i get a lot of attention and i'm around a lot of like hot shots, it doesn't turn him off or make him feel less than because of it. This actually brings you closer to Taylor Swift. You're dating somebody and you never see each other because you're on the road all the time and he's

Starting point is 00:47:37 a tight end for the Chiefs. And Chris has a tight end. Chris was teaching me about tight ends last night because I didn't know that term yet, and now I kind of know what they do. Sometimes they are blocking. Sometimes they're catching.

Starting point is 00:47:53 They're taking a pass. They do it all. Tight ends have to be big but also fast. Is that correct, Brian? Yeah, that's correct. They have to be, yeah. Some tight ends just block. Some tight ends just catch, but the best tight ends just block. Some tight ends just catch.

Starting point is 00:48:05 But the best tight ends do both. Travis Kelsey does it all. He's probably top- He's hot, dude. Top three greatest tight ends of all time. It's so funny. I didn't even think, like when he first was on the scene,

Starting point is 00:48:15 I was just like, he's an all right guy. But last night, I feel like when he started dating her, he just got hotter. And maybe it's just psychological that I'm like, oh, he's hot now. He has a mustache now. Oh, just his piercing eyes. I just like fuck yeah girl get it and i who know i just i love it i approve of it i'm happy for them i want her to be happy and she looks like glowy and happy and

Starting point is 00:48:38 my voice teacher was like now i saw your girl taylor swift in the box at the cheese game and i'm like i know already he's just like telling me about it. I'm like, I've seen it. I'm like, I've read about it. I know. And I'm trying to get into like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And he's like, well, let me just say, that girl has such a big mouth.

Starting point is 00:48:55 Her mouth is constant. He was like, that was probably so loud in that room. He was like, even at points, I think his mom was kind of like, whoa, like her ear hurt because she is so resonant because she opens her mouth because he was trying to get me to open my mouth more when I sing and he was like Taylor Swift your girl her mouth is

Starting point is 00:49:12 so big she could eat an apple in two bites and so I'm trying to get my mouth to be more open when I talk but it's so hard to do also when she wears bright red lipstick like that that goes beyond her lip,

Starting point is 00:49:26 that makes her mouth look even bigger. I think if you wore bright red lipstick, big lipstick, it would make your mouth look even bigger than what you're doing right now, which if you go to YouTube- That's very big. If you watch the podcast on YouTube,

Starting point is 00:49:39 you can see how big Nikki's mouth can get, but you cannot get that only on the podcast. No, you couldn't hear that. You couldn't just hear how much my jaw unclenched. It hurts to do it that much, to talk like Ms. Pac-Man, but my vocal teacher was telling me that in America, all girls talk like this with their mouth,

Starting point is 00:49:56 like they never open their mouth because we're so ashamed of speaking out, and we're so puritanical that it's not... We always have to talk through clenched teeth and like, yeah, I love it. Sounds good. And we just have to be demure and little and not big mouths. But the only way to hit high notes is you take this,

Starting point is 00:50:12 you take a cork from a wine bottle, a longer one, and you put it lengthwise in your mouth like this. Uh-huh. Okay. Is this what you do? It's a stretch for, you know,

Starting point is 00:50:22 30 seconds. And then you take another cork, a regular cork, and you put it in your mouth this way. I've had so many people tell me to put corks in my mouth. Yeah. Just to block the sound coming out. Put a cork in it. You can roll your jaw to the left and then to the right using the cork. I think you have a drinking problem.

Starting point is 00:50:44 You have many corks accessible to you. Why can't you use the same cork? 10 reps, 5 seconds. Yeah, why can't you use the same cork? This one's a little longer, so it's better for the lengthwise one. The stretch, okay. You can go left 10 times. Hold it for 5.

Starting point is 00:50:57 Hold it for 5. Hold it for 5. Do that 10 times, then the other way. And then you can go this way, and you can go front and back. And that'll stretch out your masseters, and maybe it'll let you open your jaw bigger, so you can go this way and you can go front and back and that'll stretch out your masseters and maybe it'll let you open your jaw bigger so you can be just like taylor thank you it's i really i need that because it really hurts to open my mouth really when i when i get done with a singing lesson my lips start to shake and my jaw starts to shake and i'm like why am i shaking

Starting point is 00:51:20 and he's like because it's like you know when you work out and you use you're like you're doing squats and you start to shake because your muscles aren't you aren't strong and i's like because it's like you know when you work out and you use like you're doing squats and you start to shake because your muscles aren't you aren't strong and I'm like okay that gives me hope that I can get uh and then don't get Botox in your masseters yeah definitely don't trying to build them up okay I won't do that

Starting point is 00:51:37 Brian no what yeah Brian got Botox one time for his pain did it help my masseters and it got it gave him terrible migraines. Well, yeah, it gave me brain fog. I just didn't react well to it. But it actually did help with the muscles weakened.

Starting point is 00:51:54 And his jaw looked 23. My jaw looked 23. It got offered a spread in L and then it had to decline. But did you know that there's all these numbers that line up for Travis Kelsey kelsey and taylor swift that people have been talking about 87 89 that quote well 87 plus 13 which is taylor's lucky number is 100 oh okay yeah the 100 um there are some they were both born in 1989.

Starting point is 00:52:26 Yes, that's true. Kelsey's birthday is October 5th, which is coming up, which is the same birthday as Taylor's grandmother, Marjorie. On Lover and the song Cornelia Street, there's a lyric that goes, we were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go. As if the street light

Starting point is 00:52:50 pointed in an arrowhead leading us home. Arrowhead, I heard it yesterday and I go, who's going to put this together? Arrowhead Stadium? Yes. Yes. And then, you know, and the Chiefs won by 31 points this weekend. And that's 13 backwards.

Starting point is 00:53:07 Yes. You know, this is the difference between coincident and there's no such thing as signs. They're only coincidence and we find meaning in them. I truly believe that. And you could find it in any kind of math

Starting point is 00:53:23 you do. And it's fun to, like to think that there are signs out there. But I think it's just humans have to make sense of the world. And so we just, I don't mean to poo-poo any of these things. But if you look hard enough, you can find anything that will be like, there was foreshadowing of this. But it's not like Taylor knew. It's not like God knew.

Starting point is 00:53:47 Or maybe God did know. I don't know. He seems to. There's a picture on this article that I was just reading with Travis Kelsey and I have to say, he is looking hotter. He's hot. He's got some... He's a little tanner than he used to be. Yes. Yes. That helps. He's got some...

Starting point is 00:54:02 Your dad shaved two days ago stubble which is also making him look hotter stubble is always hot yeah don't bring my dad into those so you know you know when your dad goes to the pool i have a question would you what would be your response if a guy surprised you on like, let's say your eighth date, you're dating for two months, and he shows up like in a not safe sweatsuit outfit or something that's like an homage to you and your career? What would your response be? I feel like if he's been someone I've been talking to for a really long time and I have a huge album coming out really soon that has a little bit of like there's something that he could wear that would be a nod to

Starting point is 00:54:52 it. I would think it's and he knows that I really appreciate speaking in Easter eggs and like hinting things. I wouldn't think it's lame at all. I'd be like oh my god that's so funny and cute and like you're trying to advertise my album through your wardrobe.

Starting point is 00:55:06 Like you're on my level, man. Like, thank you. This is adorable. Like you went out of your way to find a suit that was like referencing this album that I'm now promoting. And I'm so excited about that is like my baby. It would be, it would mean everything to me.

Starting point is 00:55:21 I wouldn't be cringed out by that at all. You would be Anya? I think so. But I can't be cringed out by that at all. You would be, Anya? I think so. But I can't imagine being anything like these people, though. I mean, I wasted a half an hour of my life last night trying to research this Travis Kelsey outfit. I was like, why is this a news story? And I still don't understand.

Starting point is 00:55:38 So thank you for explaining it pretty well. I get it. There was a designer who did his outfit, and Taylor sold it as merch, or he just did it separately? He i get it there was a designer who did his outfit and taylor sold it as merch or he just did it separately he just did it and he called it it just he called it the 1989 suit so anything that's called like the 1989 album to me it does that 1980 she does there's all these memes about taylor swift invented seagulls like in 1980 or like because she used seagulls in the in like there's just jokes. She did not invent seagulls though. Well that's the joke. It looks like tie dye.

Starting point is 00:56:09 No I think she did. No. She did. Can you imagine if I believed that? Before seagulls before 1989 have you ever seen a seagull? No. I don't remember. So if seagulls were in the shirt she's wearing on the 1989 album cover. So the shirt she's wearing on the original 1989 album cover is a shirt that has seagulls were in the shirt she's wearing on the 1989 album cover.

Starting point is 00:56:25 So the shirt she's wearing on the original 1989 album cover is a shirt that has Seagulls on it. And his suit was a blue suit that has like paint splatters on it that kind of look like Seagulls. So it's just an homage to that album artwork. But it was such a reach. For the guy to do. But everyone's trying to reach. Anyone who does anything tries to have something Taylor Swift in it so that that they can get money baby because swifty's buy anything that has anything to do with her or he's just posted something of um a piece of chicken and a cup of a little cup of

Starting point is 00:56:57 ketchup and a little cup of mayonnaise next to the just a a bare plate of chicken a bare plate with a little nugget of chicken and then two little cups of mayonnaise and then ketchup because someone zoomed in on a picture of her and that's what she was eating in the box. So like everyone's getting in on this. It's crazy. As an NFL fan,

Starting point is 00:57:16 I am not loving this predicament because Taylor Swift took over the whole weekend. Oh my God. You know how you hate whenever someone tries to force in a Taylor Swift pun? Oh, I heard so many of these. Oh my God, it was absurd. Everyone was so proud of themselves.

Starting point is 00:57:34 There was one good commercial that I saw that was on Fox with Terry Bradshaw and there was some guy with a bunch of strings on a wall trying to figure out the conspiracy theory of when they started dating and stuff. That commercial was pretty good. But other than that, everyone trying to, even on NFL Red Zone, the guy was like, I guess there's a

Starting point is 00:57:55 blank space in this scoreboard for the Jets. And it was just like, ah. But it's not so much actually making the joke. It's the like commenting on the fact that you just made a Taylor Swift pun after you make it. That really gets me where they're like, they're just left a blank space in the scoreboard. I'm sorry. I just had to do it. I couldn't help but make a Taylor Swift pun here. Oh, but you'll kill me. I guess you're going to have to.

Starting point is 00:58:22 And then they make another Taylor Swift pun. They're like, oh boy, I'm at it again. It just annoys me when people glom onto something because they see dollar signs. And I think that's what's bugging me about this whole everyone's obsessed with Taylor Swift and like everyone's now wearing Swifty shirts. Like some bestie

Starting point is 00:58:38 sent me a picture of this woman wearing a shirt with Taylor in the box seat already on it. Like it's a shirt. And I really don't like this woman's been mean to me before. And so I was like, I don't really like that woman, but I like, I do like her shirt,

Starting point is 00:58:51 but I'm just like, even this woman, like I've never heard you be a Swifty, but suddenly you are now because it's cool. And it's like, I understand if you like her music and, and, and everyone's having a little bit of fun with it.

Starting point is 00:59:01 I'll allow the fun, but I just don't like how much the NFL is just dollar signs. Oh my God. That's all they see. But Taylor, you're allowed to give that to them. You are a commodity in many ways, and she's allowed to give that out to wherever she sees fit.

Starting point is 00:59:16 And I don't begrudge her that. I do love though, that she was escorted out of the box in a popcorn box. Like they had like three security guards taking out this giant popcorn box. a popcorn box. They had three security guards taking out this giant popcorn box. Wow. It was so funny. And I just,

Starting point is 00:59:31 you know what I hated was the audio from it. It was so mean. Let me just play it because it was really disturbing to me. The audio from what? People are like, Taylor's in there.

Starting point is 00:59:40 She's in there. And I'm like, if I saw that happening, I'd be like, Taylor, we love you. But they're just like What a life They want her blood

Starting point is 00:59:47 It was just It's just bloodlust Here it is Okay So they're wheeling her out now She's in there She's in there All these people are waiting up

Starting point is 01:00:00 That's her That's her She's in there Like her Like her cleaning supply. That's her. You guys. It's just like, why not say something nice?

Starting point is 01:00:13 That woman needs vocal surgery. She does. She drank too much that day, and it's only going to get worse. Let's take a break. We'll come back with more after this. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment

Starting point is 01:00:32 to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started to live a double life when I was a teenager. Responsible and driven and wild and out of control. My head is pounding. I'm confused. I don't know why I'm in jail.

Starting point is 01:01:09 It's hard to understand what hope is when you're trapped in a cycle of addiction. Addiction took me to the darkest places. I had an AK-47 pointed at my head. But one night, a new door opened, and I made it into the rooms of recovery. The path would have roadblocks and detours, stalls and relapses. But when I was feeling the most lost, I found hope with community,

Starting point is 01:01:36 and I made my way back. This season, join me on my journey through addiction and recovery. A story told in 12 steps. Listen to CRIMS as part of the Michael Dura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Some people won't give you the real talk on drugs, but it's time we know the facts. Fentanyl is often laced into illicit drugs and used to make fake versions of prescription pills.

Starting point is 01:02:08 You can't see it, taste it, or smell it. Suppliers mix fentanyl into their products because it's potent and cheap. And the dealer might not even know. Keep yourself and others safe by knowing the real deal on fentanyl. Get the facts. Go to realdealonfentanyl.com. This message is brought to you by the Ad Council. All right, let's put that to bed.

Starting point is 01:02:29 So I approve of it. I'm happy for them. And I'm going to work on understanding football more. That's what's going to happen. Imagine if somebody tried to figure out your dating life through your old specials like they do for Taylor Swift and her lyrics. Nikki was wearing leatherather pants in the

Starting point is 01:02:46 perfect special and Chris actually bought a pleather belt six years later as a nod. I don't... On the banging special in 2016, Nikki pulled 20 minutes of jokes about Chris. I think she

Starting point is 01:03:01 likes him. Yeah, you could piece together a narrative that, you know, of who I've dated. but you know people have through the years figured out certain stories are about certain guys that i've talked about and and and woven it together and figured out some things that i didn't even intend them to figure out but i'm not as good as taylor as i she does everything she does wear is a nod to something she thinks about every little everything she says every tweet she posts every star she draws on the margins of a you know the cover art it's all symbolic of something so there is a reason for us to dig into it and that is why we dig into it so much it's because it's like a where's waldo it's a for for swifties swifties

Starting point is 01:03:42 people think we're insane because we're always reading into so much stuff it's because there is messaging in there we're not like just doing paul is dead paul is dead oh this license plate says paul like we're not crazy to think that there is hidden messaging because she's she's told us that she does that and she enjoys giving us messages through that so that is why people read so much into it. It's not because we're lame and desperate and just don't have lives. We're like having fun with these little scavenger hunts that she's given us.

Starting point is 01:04:11 So it's part of it. I wish that I thought that thoroughly about my career in life to have stuff like that. But I have not planned in that way. But I do see themes, like I watch my old stuff and I'm like, oh my God, you were obsessed with that topic even then you're still oh and you still have interest in that there and you oh you kind of figured it out

Starting point is 01:04:30 here and like I still talk about the same stuff and I'm approaching it from different points of view like like even I don't think Louis meant to always talk about jerking off in front of people or talk about assholes in every single special, but he has a different take on literal assholes, like the anus, in every single special. He has a joke where it's like a specific, very, what's the word? Visceral. Visceral, yes.

Starting point is 01:04:57 Visceral take on a poopy asshole. Yes. In every single special. And I'm like, oh, it's interesting to see patterns through artists, but that aren't even intentional. When Bourdain died by suicide and there was that article

Starting point is 01:05:14 that came out and there were like dozens and dozens of mentions of him talking about hanging himself in a hotel room. And it was like, Jesus, we missed it. There were like 44 instances of bourdain wait do you see what i do you're all gonna go god i was there all along no it's i'm not gonna do anything i promise but um yeah i mean if someone talks about killing themselves all the time

Starting point is 01:05:40 it's kind of probably something they're gonna do i hate to say that like i just right but before he did it we were like what 14 and then it's like oh he mentioned it so many times insane in a hotel room hanging himself on the shower thing on in the closet hanging himself it's like yeah not even a couple times like I think it was like 44 times or something insane. Well, he was staying at a lot of Hyatt Regency inns at the time. And so he was depressed and going through something. No, I mean, I went to a hotel this weekend and I was so depressed in it. And it was such a bad hotel experience that I was about to write a review.

Starting point is 01:06:19 Shout out. Because I was just so angry because their gym closed at four, which was the dumbest thing. I went downstairs ready to work out. I'm desperate for a workout. I'm like depressed. I have to do a show that night. I have an hour to work out. I just want to get my blood pumping.

Starting point is 01:06:38 I want to just like feel something, sweat, get alive. And I go down the lobby and I go, where's your gym? Oh, our gym closes at four. And I just stared at him and I go, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my whole life, which it really isn't. I mean, I was kind of sleepy still. I just woken up from a nap.

Starting point is 01:06:53 And he goes, yeah, it's not even, well, it's not even our gym. And I go, well, you should get one then. Like, I don't understand what he was like. Well, you should be having, we even let you in until four. It's not our gym. And this is a really nice Marriott, the way like like you know almost like a marriott civic center where they hold all these functions and um and then i and so i was mad about that but that was fine you know always

Starting point is 01:07:15 looking for an excuse to not work out and then so i went back to my hotel room and anya i told anya i was bitching about it and she was like do some jumping jacks or um do a plank so I did a couple planks and then I um then I googled yoga for depression and it's so funny there's this if you google yoga for depression the one video that's for yoga and depression there's a girl on a yoga mat and she's just like in the fetal position, but with her head, like just fully like face down on the mat, not fetal, but like just, I don't know what the position, child's pose,

Starting point is 01:07:51 but like, yeah. Depressed child's pose. Yeah. Abandoned child's pose. And, um, uh,

Starting point is 01:07:59 so I did that. And, um, yoga with Adrian. Do you guys ever do yoga with Adrian? Oh, I've heard of her. We do yoga with Adrienne? Oh, I've heard of her. We do yoga with Cassandra.

Starting point is 01:08:07 She's Canadian. She's great. Yeah. I do both of those. I do yoga with Adrienne like twice a week and then yoga with Cassandra I throw in every once in a while. Really?

Starting point is 01:08:16 Yeah. What do you like about Adrienne? I heard Adrienne is really popular and I couldn't stomach 30 seconds of her for some reason. Adrienne has, I think, better routines than cassandra i can see how people can get sick of adrian pick one i know how i picked this one

Starting point is 01:08:31 because i was like i'm depressed but like how generally do you pick what to do what kind of because there's so many options the number one thing is how long is it yeah so if you want to do it for 20 minutes you pick a 20 minute one if you want to do it for 20 minutes, you pick a 20-minute one. If you want to do it for 30 minutes... And I want to give a shout-out to Charlie Atkins also, who if you are doing Pilates or no equipment, little workouts... Let's say you're on the road. You don't have a gym. You want to do a workout

Starting point is 01:08:56 in your room for 20 minutes, 25 minutes. You can do pop sugar stuff. Charlie Atkins is the best one of those. Okay. Good to know. I remember his diet from the 90s. Okay. So. It's a woman.

Starting point is 01:09:09 Oh, Charlie Atkins is a woman? Yeah. Oh, okay. It's not the Atkins diet. She's just a woman. Okay. Not the Atkins diet person. And, okay.

Starting point is 01:09:17 But Yoga with Adrienne, I was just getting triggered because they just are so perfect and calm and their studios are are just beautiful and well lit. And they have a little cute dog kind of prancing around. I'm too envious. What a racket. I can't relax because I want to be her so badly. Why are you saying they? Is that what's her pronoun?

Starting point is 01:09:37 No, it's like these girls. I'm sure Cassandra's studio is gorgeous too. And I'm sure she's perfect and gleaming and glowy. And her hair is straight. No, that's why I like her better. It's like in her living room during the pandemic. And I'm sure she's perfect and gleaming and glowy and her hair is straight. And she never like. No, that's why I like her better. It's like in her living room during the pandemic, it starts with like weird Christmas lights and bad curtains.

Starting point is 01:09:51 But I just like her voice. It's soothing. And she's very encouraging. Cassandra? And she doesn't do any. Yeah. Cassandra doesn't do any of this. Like, forgive your father.

Starting point is 01:10:00 Oh, God. Forget about that. Yeah. Yeah. I like Adrienne doing that. She's like, trust me. Trust yourself. And I was like, like Deidre doing that. She's like, trust me. Trust yourself. And I was like, oh my, I almost started crying because she said, trust me. I was like,

Starting point is 01:10:09 I don't trust you right now. And it's like, for actually you should be saying that because you read my mind. I think you're in this for the money. Then I was like, no, she's not. She's here for me. And she knows I'm depressed today. She posts a YouTube video of a yoga routine.

Starting point is 01:10:29 It lives on YouTube forever. And people rewatch the same video over and over and over again. Oh, my God. She doesn't have to do anything. She does nothing. She does her, in January, she does her 30 days of yoga. So she does 30 days straight of yoga. And then she'll post like,

Starting point is 01:10:45 nowadays she posts like one video every two months. That's all she has to do. And people watch the videos over and over because they're doing their routines. And she's making money on that. What a racket.

Starting point is 01:10:55 But I would feel if I were her, bored. If I put out, if I just put out, you know, a bunch of podcasts and people just watch them over and over

Starting point is 01:11:02 and my life was then just, I don't need to do it anymore. I would feel I was so bored. Not only is she bored, she's depressed and she has to do depression yoga. No, she was doing that for us. This girl does not know depression or at least that's what I project onto her. It's been interesting to watch Adrienne

Starting point is 01:11:18 over seven years because everything's been improving around her. You watch the background. The first background is like she's in a hovel. She didn't have a dog at the beginning. Then she got a dog, a very good dog, Benji. She had a shitty house in the beginning

Starting point is 01:11:33 and now seven years later, she's got these panoramic views behind her like she's living in Oprah's mansion. Cassandra has that too, I noticed. She's no longer in the bedroom with the Christmas lights. She has a big, deck and like peacocks in the background. But hey, she got me. I watch her videos all the time.

Starting point is 01:11:53 It's, yeah. I just don't, how do you know to do yoga versus a different workout? Like a HIIT. And I don't like how it's H-I-i-t well yoga to me is when i feel tight and i want to stretch and it really is so usually if i do a weight lifting workout or something like that then the next day i'll do yoga to kind of stretch it out hit is like uh is like cardio so like that's what you wanted to do at the Marriott when they so rudely cut down the gym early. Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 01:12:26 I run. And so I like doing that because you get it done. Yoga's too slow. Is there fast yoga? Yeah, I don't, that's why I can't do yoga. So I really know

Starting point is 01:12:36 it's strenuous yoga. No, you are, it's too slow for you? It's too slow. It's so slow. I'll do mobility exercises.'s this like australian guy uh i can't remember his thing it's like total body something it's like this like he looks like he could be an f boy oh my god will you send me that because i would like to do

Starting point is 01:12:57 mobility exercises but i don't want it to be slow and and i don't want you to assume that i know what all these poses are and i know that it's annoying for people who... So maybe I should do a beginner's thing. Yeah, well, that's what Amy is really good at. But I think beginner is for losers. If you want to do yoga where you're not... I like staying in a stretch. I want to stretch my leg.

Starting point is 01:13:19 Yoga for you losers is so funny. I bet she probably has one. Sorry. If you want to do a yoga where you're moving a lot, then you have to do vinyasa yoga, where you're constantly flowing. It's flow. So you're always moving through different things.

Starting point is 01:13:34 Allie's got a really good yoga person that she found, I think, through Peloton, who is like, no nonsense, like stretch like this. Now move like this. Okay, stretch like this. And it's like not really all the spiritual stuff stuff and you're not standing still and listening to the uh copyright free music in the background right you're just stretching well i have been listening

Starting point is 01:13:55 today i listened to louise hay because i was i've been depressed lately and so i've been trying to um listen to you-affirmative affirmations. And I've been reading The Four Agreements, which is also another thing that everyone has always talked about. No one's following this shit.

Starting point is 01:14:18 I'm sorry. We all are gossipy little cunts. I don't know how to break the cycle. Literally, The Four Agreements, I think I've only to break the cycle. I mean, literally the four agreements, I'm only half, I think I've only read two of them. I got two more to go. And the first one is be impeccable with your word. Or maybe that's the second one,

Starting point is 01:14:33 is be impeccable with your word. Yeah. What are they? Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Be impeccable with your word. Always do your best. No, the first two you just said I haven't gotten to yet, but I just got through impeccable with your word always do your best first to you no the first two you just said i

Starting point is 01:14:45 haven't gotten to yet but i i just got through impeccable with your word today do you know what that requires you to do never lie um never gossip never say anything to anyone that would harm them or hurt them oh and that gets me back to the hotel review i wrote up this review because i was annoyed this i the hallways were loud and echoey i could hear it sounded like someone was washing chains in a bucket in the hallway all night long well where else are they gonna do that it was so loud it was and my you know thermostat didn't work and there were all these things and i was just in a bad obviously i've been in a shitty kind of cloudy mood recently and i fired up you

Starting point is 01:15:26 know google reviews to write one and it's anonymous because i don't use my actual name on there and i wrote out this whole thing and i gave three stars and i and i was and i even wrote like i don't usually write review i've never written a review of hotel my life that's a great way to start it that's if you really want to get them that's a great way to start it. If you really want to get them, that's a great way to start a review. Because it did feel to me, I need to prove that this is, people need to know. And then I was about to fire it off and I go, what are you doing? Everyone is trying their fucking best. You do not need to put this out there, this hotel. These people that are working at this hotel, the reason why things are probably not great at this hotel is

Starting point is 01:16:03 probably because they all have a shitty boss. The people at the top are mean to them. And everyone trickling down is just like trying their best and trying to get through the day. They don't need to open up their Google review and read a mean review of someone that just stayed there that someone is now going to get yelled at about. It's just not constructive. It's rude. You don't need to do it. It's just putting negativity out there.

Starting point is 01:16:25 So I was impeccable with my word in that way because I just didn't want to put out that negative energy and I erased the whole thing. And I was, it was almost like journaling. Like I got it out of my system, but I did not write the review. And I'm really proud of myself for that because it's hard not to be a little like bitchy customer

Starting point is 01:16:40 when you're like, I'm paying this much a night for a suite. And I was all, it was loud. It's like, it's no one needs, it's already done. You're not coming back to this town. It's not going to happen again. It's, you know, people can handle it on their own. They can figure it out on their own. This place is well-rated.

Starting point is 01:16:56 I don't want to ruin their rating. Like, it's just, it's not worth it to me. And so I didn't write that review because I'm trying to, and that was before I read impeccable with your word. I read impeccable with your word today, that chapter final thought it's going to be very exhausting. I mean,

Starting point is 01:17:12 I already broke it today. We're gossiping about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. We're having like little snarky opinions that is being impeccable. That is not being impeccable with your word. Being impeccable with your word means that you, um, you don't ever betray yourself and being mean to others or critical of others is actually because you're obviously insecure. And that insecurity is being self-critical and therefore impeccable with your word.

Starting point is 01:17:40 And so I'm going to try to do this more in life because I do think these are the, you know, have you read the book? Obviously, Anya, did it leave a lasting impression on you? No, I just glossed over it. I just read it on Google. Like, what are the four agreements? Okay, got it. Oh, you weren't one of the people that told me about it? Anyone who seems to have a pretty good…

Starting point is 01:18:03 I don't remember it. I just remember the four agreements good i don't remember it i just remember the four agreements i don't remember i thought impeccable with your word just meant don't lie like don't be full of shit don't say oh my god let's have coffee next week i can't wait to see you and then walk off and never do it like don't say i'm so sorry if you're not sorry don't say you want to have coffee if you don don't want to have coffee, just tell the truth. Yes. And I think that that is,

Starting point is 01:18:31 I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on that, but I think the thing that gets me is gossip and shit talking because it feels so good. I was telling my therapist yesterday that it feels so good to talk about people behind their backs. Do you guys all agree that when there's some juice on someone and then you find someone that you both know and you could talk about it, it's one of the greatest things to share in the world

Starting point is 01:18:58 other than like a charcuterie board? Like it's- A vegan one? It feels, yeah, you know, like it just feels like so well dear abby or her sister i for ann landers they said that the original definition of gossip was just light chatter between people it wasn't mean-spirited it was the way that people connected so that is a good thing that comes out of, oh my God, you know that person? Wait, what do you think of them?

Starting point is 01:19:27 Like if you're not harming them, it can be very freeing to vent to someone else in a safe space. Yeah, that's where I couldn't see the difference between like I have some anger about something and I need to talk it out not with that person. Is this now gossipy? I think it can be when it becomes mean-spirited which is I think a

Starting point is 01:19:46 way that I process my anger is making fun I mean obviously I'm a comedian so when I'm angry about something I will mock it really cruelly um and I think that is that's not very nice and but I think it all comes from a fear of being mocked myself. I mean, like I was really trying to get at the root of some things in therapy yesterday and it all comes down to, I don't want someone to call me ugly. Like that's literally my entire fear in life is like, call myself ugly before someone else can beat them to it. Um, don't be, um, too loud because then boys will see you. And I, I, I had a young age knew that kids were not to be trusted, that they kids said the darndest things.

Starting point is 01:20:31 So I was really quiet in my childhood. And then when I got to adulthood, that's when I began speaking more freely because around adults, adults don't say you're ugly. They don't talk like that. But in middle school, high school boys will just call you fat. They'll call you ugly. They don't talk like that. But in middle school, high school, boys will just call you fat. They'll call you ugly. They'll call you unfuckable. And I think that's why I was quiet

Starting point is 01:20:49 through my childhood and adulthood is because I never wanted to hear any active criticism. And then I think that's why I became able to even do what I've always wanted to do, which was perform and put myself in the spotlight was like as an adult, because adults don't criticize each other. And then the internet was invented. And that's a because adults don't criticize each other and then the internet

Starting point is 01:21:05 was invented and that's a forum for adults to criticize each other anonymously all day long do you know that there before the internet there was not a way to anonymously publicly criticize celebrities at all they would have to write to to the back pages of magazines. Yes. Do you know that David Spade, when he did the... Remember he... Remember. I hate when people... Remember when he did the Hollywood Minute? And he would skewer celebrities on that?

Starting point is 01:21:35 Yes. And he would say like, oh, I saw The Bodyguard this weekend and... I want my money back. And there was jokes like that. He was, that was the first time a person had publicly like gone and like roasted something. There was nothing like that. So that was the,

Starting point is 01:21:53 he got so much hate for that from celebrities. Celebrities still hate him to this day about jokes he made on that because there was no one mouthing off about any of this stuff before that little segment on weekend update, which i thought was really an interesting um just piece of like wow there wasn't a place for that to happen celebrities could just be and no one would make fun of them i mean maybe in the early 2000s before social media there was like you know they would have yes magazine and then they would have, Us Magazine, and then they would have the bad wardrobe mistakes

Starting point is 01:22:25 and there would be little comedians writing in and saying like little barbs. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was it. I mean, what did, That was pretty much it. Was there anything like that before? I mean, before,

Starting point is 01:22:36 Radio, you could call into a radio show and complain. Oh yeah, Howard Stern. Yeah, I guess that's true. But really, social media is like middle school in terms of how mean it is. It's like an assembly at middle school where the auditorium is dark and the kids are just shouting at you on stage and saying the meanest things. It really has turned adults into kids on a playground. People are so mean. I mean, I want to differentiate.

Starting point is 01:23:04 It's different than reviews, though. I think I personally find reviews incredibly helpful, even the negative and the positive. So I think it's different if you're going to say like, this hotel doesn't have a gym after 4 p.m. and the hallway is really loud. I wouldn't stay here. That's helpful to people. people but if you're just going on the internet to make some comment that's clearly about you and not them just negatively wanting to spew hate towards somebody for fucking no reason at all then that's the that's useless i've wanted to do it before oh my god the worst part of me wants to like cyber bully and just call people out for shit they're doing that i'm like that's so cringe

Starting point is 01:23:43 you're such a loser i've never done it before i've never created a fake account and like gotten mean online ever the only time i've created a fake account is to defend my friends who have been taken down in certain areas but there's a bad part of me that if i was you know had a little bit more lead poisoning or my parents were had you know less high iqs i think there's a smarter way to say that um i probably would invent these accounts and be mean to people online but there's a there's a conscience i have and uh and uh i think just like and also just you're you're more respectful code no you you value your time more like no man but i spend that time zooming in and thinking it to myself and sending it to Noah and Anya

Starting point is 01:24:26 on our fucking chat. I spend time making the comments. There's time being wasted. I'm just saying I haven't gone so far as to put the hate out there because I'm trying to be impeccable with my word. But here's another thing with impeccable

Starting point is 01:24:43 with your word that I was going to say is that um oh fuck what was it i was talking you were talking about reviews and oh this is the major thing that i don't think people understand and i think i've probably said it on here before when you read when you go to watch a youtube video or you're looking at an instagram post and you're feeling like you know we're all in i read comments do you guys read comments of things on our videos not not your own comments i'm not talking about like other people's oh i heard you talking at your friends on the podcast with rick glassman and uh yes if you read if you are watching a

Starting point is 01:25:19 youtube video and the first you know there's a, a pasted comment almost that comes up with the video that you can't, you don't even have to scroll to read. I always read those. And I actually read comments of anything that I'm kind of a little bit invested in, whether it's a Taylor Swift picture on Instagram, I go to the comments. I want to see what people are saying and things are upvoted. So it's like the most popular opinion, that comment a hundred percent without question. And I am a discerning, very critically thinking person. That comment, without question, impacts how I perceive what I'm about to see or what I have just seen and already made an opinion about myself. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:25:59 It will change. Yes. Or if I don't even want to watch it, I'll just step away with, I guess it's unfunny, or I guess this is hilarious. What these anonymous comments do is they do poison us. They make us, you don't know who it is, and you think, we think we're above it. That, oh, a comment's not going to impact how I look at this person's body or how I perceive her life or how funny this clip is or how amazing this song is. It, without without question does. There's no,

Starting point is 01:26:27 I would love to see some studies done on it, but I think comments are truly dangerous. Sometimes they, I don't know why I rely on them so much, but I do. And I, I don't read my own comments and that's why I can't even watch anything I do on YouTube.

Starting point is 01:26:41 Because if you, if you click it, a comment fucking comes up. I wish you could opt out of comments just showing up willy-nilly. But I think they – don't you guys feel influenced by comments even though you are all smart people? There is a theory about that. Yeah, I forget what the name of it is. I forgot.

Starting point is 01:26:58 I'll research it. I will research this theory, but it does exist. I talked about on the girls' chat once that they did an experiment and if you answer a question incorrectly in a group, it will influence the other people to also answer incorrectly. Yes. This is why I love the

Starting point is 01:27:15 sometimes I'll have a bunch of comments on a video or a cartoon or something that say it's funny and then someone else will say like, well, that was cringe or that was shit. And I love I love when someone else replies to that person and goes what the fuck are you talking about this is hilarious and then a bunch of other people upvote that guy that is those are the best people on the planet thank you to those people getting in there and refuting the negative ones yes those are the heroes of the day for sure. Because that is, we need those people out there.

Starting point is 01:27:47 Because if someone doesn't refute it, that somehow becomes just as meritable. Is that a word? As the comment that's saying it's good. Or a million comments that say it's good. It might be more well-written than the comments that are saying it's good. So you might go, this person that's negative seems smarter. It's like using correct punctuation he's actually using a big word maybe i should ignore all the other

Starting point is 01:28:09 comments because they're just like this shit's so funny and sounds like a bunch of dumb people maybe the smartest person in here is right and he thinks it's horrible sometimes though i think it's just interesting like that kind of makes my head spin and it makes me wonder like is my opinion authentic is it truly my opinion yeah or am i just expressing someone else's opinion that i've read i think the most true thing that where i can just tell if i've enjoyed something or not without any outside opinion is when i hear a song in a cafe and i shazam it you know like there's no outside influence. It's ambient music. It's not, no one's telling me this is the new thing. It's like, it's just, I, this is, I like it.

Starting point is 01:28:49 And I must just like it without anyone telling me to like it. And, you know, I was talking to Chris last night about how I, with, I'm suffering with imposter syndrome lately and just envy. And I was like, I gotta stop going. I gotta stop seeing people who are selling out all these shows. And I have to stop seeing people who are pretty much just selling out shows. I'm just like annoyed by it.

Starting point is 01:29:11 Ticket sales are like hard to sell, right? Tickets are hard to sell in any climate, but especially now. But when I'm seeing these comedians just so flawlessly do it, it just fucking irks me, makes me feel bad about myself, makes me hate myself, makes me think I'm not good at social media. I'm not good at comment, all these things. And then I'm saying this in bed as I'm staring at posters of Taylor Swift,

Starting point is 01:29:30 like right next to me. I'm like, and I gotta get, I probably gotta stop looking at her so much. And then I was like, actually, no, I don't. Because she does not make me jealous. She doesn't make me envious. There are times, yes, I wish I were her and that meaning all the time.

Starting point is 01:29:42 But she fills me with like hope and happiness and she makes me feel good. She makes me feel her music contributes to my wellbeing, watching her and surrounding myself with her. Um, as envious of, I am of her, I get more than I am, um, being taken away from, but I got, I think I got to get get a i gotta kind of cut out of staring at people's stuff recently and i don't even i mute most of the people that trigger me but people are getting through on my reddit and that's where i have to be more discerning and i just have to not join reddits now that of things i want to keep up on sorry stand-up comedy can't follow you anymore because i'm getting true too triggered by how much you love everyone except me.

Starting point is 01:30:27 And it's okay because I know that I'm not for everyone, but it's just, I can't. I guess that is jealousy where you think if people get praise, it's like taking something from you. So I guess I do experience jealousy in that regard. But I also love stand-up comedy Reddit

Starting point is 01:30:44 because you get to see so many new stand-up comics that are great and I get inspired in that way. But I also love stand-up comedy Reddit because you get to see so many new stand-up comics that are great and I get inspired in that way. Yeah, they all suck. I'll get through it. We'll get through it this week. We'll see you tomorrow on the show. And this weekend I'm in Vegas with David Spade at the Venetian. Those are going to be amazing shows.

Starting point is 01:31:01 Next week I'm in Pryor Lake, Minnesota in Calgary. There's all the tour dates up at NikkiGlaser.com. Check them out. Have a great day, you guys. We'll see you tomorrow on the pod. Don't be cute and just be impeccable with your word. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same,

Starting point is 01:31:53 our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, and now, Minnie Questions is returning for another season.

Starting point is 01:32:04 We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Listen to Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. limitless answers. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability and authenticity, we share our personal journeys, navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships and engage in thought provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences.

Starting point is 01:33:05 Decisions Decisions is going to be your go to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #379 Nikki's Less Gross, Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce!!!! & No More Gossiping?

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.