The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #380 The Morning Show is Insane!, Don't Ask Your Partner if You Look Bad & Hot Takes

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

Nikki is in the studio with Chris in their home! Anya and Matt have been asking each other head-scratching questions. Chris and Brian relate when it comes to a two-week-old haircut. They are all astounded by how crazy The Morning Show has become, but don't worry, there's nothing to be spoiled. While preparing for her next special, Nikki and Chris realized that there is no happy medium in comedy at the moment. A toddler at a restaurant inspires a new joke; is there a consensus on looking hot? Nikki was always second fiddle to her sister. Nikki talks about her time in New York. In The Final Thought, Nikki spills the beans on hosting an award show, and Chris plays a quick round of Hot Take. . Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast    Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women, then this is your tribe. Listen to the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast every Wednesday. On the Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you go to find your podcast. You don't need another podcast. You've got too many already. But if you're looking for one that actually changes something, a way to take control of the chaos and find meaning, well, then maybe the one you feed is for you. I'm Eric Zimmer, and I bring real conversations with real people to help you feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Nikki Glaser Podcast.

The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, my roommate bedmate you gotta get a bigger bed oh boy anya brian and noah are also here um yeah beds do they all have yeah are you guys sleeping with partners in a queen i mean brian doesn't sleep with his partner in the bed they have separate bedrooms so do you sleep with a queen with two people queen here well also a creature a 57 pound dog it's insane your dog sleeps in the bed with you yeah what are you guys doing come on city no i mean like sleep block city like can you even sleep with that aren't you constantly waking up it's so wonderful i do have a hip dysplasia and i'm constantly waking up no you have things a dog should have. Yeah. Displasia.

Rays. Kennel dogs. Best friends. Brian got a good haircut. Perfect butthole. It does look like a good haircut. Haircut. Yeah.

No, this is two weeks from a haircut. So it's like about that time when it starts to grow in and everyone's pleased. It's feeling itself. Chris got one last week too, but it's so fun. When you get a haircut, no matter how good the haircut is, when you get it, it just feels like it's shit. If it takes like two weeks, then it's good. I just asked Matt if I looked like a Republican

newscaster the other day because I too had a... And he just asked you, you told us if he looked like a pale mouse. Why do you guys ask each other these really hurtful questions that you know you're never going to say yes to? Like, I don't think I've ever asked you, do I look fat or do I look ugly?

I tell you every morning before I leave. Yeah, because I never have to question it. You don't have to. You write me a note on all of my little lunches you pack for me that are just celery sticks. You know how you look based on what I pack for you in your lunch. That's true. No, I don't understand people who ask their partners things that are hurtful.

You're pretty much just telling them to tell you the opposite because you don't really want to know if you look like a Republican. And are you expecting, do you know that you'll be able to know if you look like a, what did you say, a housewife, Republican housewife? Republican newscaster. Okay, do you know, will his response, if he laughs, does that mean yes? Yes.

Absolutely, yes. Okay, and what are you going to do about it if he laughs? Get a haircut. Get another one. Go even shorter. Get fucked and put some hair powder in my hair. Or just start watching Tucker Carlson. Yeah. Or just get into it.

Or get rid of the bow tie that you wear around the house with him every day. This just in. We're fighting. It's a trick, though, because if somebody asks, like, oh, do I look Republican? And you say, no, you don't. Then you're denying that a person's feelings and they get upset that way so what you have to do i've never asked anyone for feedback on my looks i'm so scared of the answer why do you guys want to know that you look bad i don't care if i look like a republican newscaster it's just a haircut so and matt doesn't lie which i love and i can't

believe is not on the spectrum but i think he just tells. He's like, I don't think so at all. Like, I can tell if he's lying at all. You believe that. Right. I do. He's not a great actor. Have you seen

Republican newscasters? They're kind of hot. I mean, that's a compliment. you're right. That's what they're like. That's part of what's going on over there.

That's the appeal over there. Yeah, that's why everyone's parents can't turn it off. you're coming to San Diego soon. Don't miss Nikki in San Diego Wait, is San Diego full of Republican newsguesters? Yes, yes

Turn on the TV when we're there You'll be like, Jesus Christ What was Trump's pageant? Miss Universe or Miss World? They're all that They all have mermaid hair And it's bleached out And their teeth are gleaming

And they're just really, really right wing and beautiful. You were mentioning something before the podcast about Matt asking about his pallor. And I was going to bring this up on the show today. Men are getting spray tans so much more. I've noticed it in all of my

like comedian friends. You're kidding. Bert Kreischer even yesterday posted a video that I loved where he's losing weight and he's like kind of documenting it and he goes this is what i look like when i put a spray tan on this imagine what it's going to look like so he acknowledged the thing that women have always known you get so much hotter with a spray tan i like that men are embracing it it doesn't make me cringe i think that if you're smart if you're on tv a lot you should get a

spray tan because i've noticed these guys all looking a little bit like they get richer. And I'm like, what are they doing that's different? They're just doing spray tans. And hair stuff. And hair stuff. I'm watching the morning show. Jon Hamm is doing something. I mean, he's always had a great hairline.

How can he not be? But it's even better. And what's his name? The brother. Billy Crudup. Crudup's doing something to his hair. He's not getting a lot of face work done, but man, is he aging well.

Yeah, he does. What's the other guy? Duplass. He's aging like a skeleton. He's aging like Mr. Bones. He's aging like the Jack from the Midnight Before Christmas. Jack Skellington. Yes, he kind of is aging a little bit like that,

but he looks good. He's got a tight neck. Tight neck. We got a tight neck here. I like him a lot, but he's getting evil. You like him just fine. Are you watching The Morning Show?

I'm on episode two. Yeah. Okay, so you are watching in the middle of episode two, or you're about to start? Just came back from space. Oh, so you only watched one episode. Correct.

Spoiler for anybody that's watched the morning show. I put it on my story too. It deserves to be spoiled. It's the worst. It's the dumbest thing I've ever watched. And I said the dumbest thing. Jump the shark. Oh my God.

It should be, the new phrase should be, it went to space. Went to space. On a half hour notice. my god okay so let's just talk about the morning show the morning show is like that was this great show they did a whole season or two seasons it was compelling there was like drama it's like not the best written show chris you made a great point the other day if you're watching succession and then you go to

the morning show you're going to have some judgment you're gonna have a bad time you're not gonna have a great time because succession is the greatest show ever and if you're even if you're watching suits you're gonna have a bad time because the dialogue is rough and it's his favorite show i would put suits no joke i said it the other night i go is this better than suits and you were like oh this is a suit is 100 times better yeah suits i would put suits you know whatever the good seasons are i don't really remember but i would put the good seasons of suits up against the morning these three seasons of morning show any day yeah no i wouldn't be surprised by that hard-hitting actors i know it's insane no the dialogue is terrible and aniston the acting is great no one's questioning

that what is happening it and the acting isn't that great for i saw one thing let me just say yesterday i said that comments make you change the way you look at things i read a review of the morning show before i started watching it and it it didn't even discuss how much it had jumped the shark and how dumb the plot lines are that didn't even i can't even believe that lanek didn't touch that because it said what the morning show gets wrong and they talked about all this other stuff but they did say that Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon are bad at

being news anchors and it's not believable that Reese Witherspoon has just been she came out of nowhere she was like doing you know morning local morning TV in Kentucky and then all of a sudden she is the number one hard-hitting newscaster with her own like she's the Peter Jennings of 2023 after working at UBA, which UBA, by the way, if you're watching the show, you'll be interested in this.

If you're not, you might not be. UBA only reports on things that are going on at UBA. Any report they ever do is like, well, UBA has to answer some questions today about our race relations. UBA has some allegations to talk about regarding sexual, you know, assault. UBA, I've been here at UBA forever. Everything's about UBA. It's so dumb. It's bad.

But I think they actually think they do a good job of making like morning show stuff look a little bit like cheesy and hokey. And their toss outs are kind of like dumb and like their little like stupid host banter where they all pretend to be friends. And it's like, and then we'll do it. I disagree with The Atlantic on that. I think Aniston in particular is doing a great job of doing like morning patter. Well, I think Chris had a good point because i was saying this i was like i'm just not buying them as newscasters i think they got in my head about it because i just don't think they're i think they're amazing actresses i can never hold a little even match up

to what they do generally but it's newscasting or um which isn't that hard just read a prompter and talk like this like it's not that hard but you said also stand-up comedy is something or being an athlete actors can't fake that like you can tell

when an actor's being a stand-up and it's not good it's a harder thing to ace when actors try to be a stand-up or an athlete

they're very very rarely is it great that's why Sandler's movie was so good because Anthony Edwards played himself or played a basketball player and he could actually play basketball.

Oh my God, I pictured the guy from ER. Yeah. I just pictured the doctor from ER. What's his name? Is he also Anthony Edwards? The bespeckled one that died of cancer. I think it's Edwards Anthony. Yeah.

I don't know the basketball thing. Oh, Hustle? Is that the movie you're talking about? I never saw it. Netflix's Sandler movie, Hustle. They got actual star current basketball players to play the basketball players in the movie. And they were excellent. I've heard that's important.

Because Chris, anytime an athlete is on a show and throws a ball, Chris will be like, not a real athlete. He can just tell by the throw. Doesn't that bother you, Brian, when you see like a movie about like the greatest quarterback of all time

and they're like throwing like this? Or when a basketball player takes a shot and then they cut to just a close-up of the hoop and then the ball goes through the hoop. There's these kids.

I showed it to you the other day. Oh, yeah. The Crab Brothers, they do a perfect job of making fun of it. I'm going to look them up. I don't think it's worth playing on here. I'm not going to play it.

Okay, because you can't hear their throws, but they do really bad throws. And it was exactly what Chris has always been saying. I mean, I've been hearing him say this for, what, 45 years? Crab videos. Crab with a K. Do they have crabs for hands? No, they're real people. They're like young kids.

They're young, funny boys. Yeah. Young, hard-bodied. Well're like young. They're like young, funny boys. Yeah. Young, hard bodied. Well, are they tanned? Pure sold spray tanned, young. I'll tell you why Matt got insecure about his pallor. And I said it before the show and I'll say it again for the listener who wasn't here beforehand. But he got insecure because we were

backstage at nikki's show in new jersey and i had just gotten a spray tan as had nikki right right you were tan oh no i was just tanning up i was like tanning my legs with the lotion stuff oh yeah but it looked great you were gleaming and bronzed and rick glassman's in the backstage just holding court being you know know, Rick Glassman. So, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he has a beautiful model girlfriend. And Matt just is in the other tiny room around the corner. And for some reason, sends me a text that just says, does my skin tone make me look like a mouse? And I'm like, he's been around tan, good-looking, charismatic people for five minutes too long.

What does that even mean? Like pinkish? I don't know. I didn't get it either. And then I said, babe, no, you're so hot. What are you talking about? But this is a hilarious text, and he just wrote, an old mouse. Oh, my God.

Because Rick's girlfriend is 26 and was like, you know what's happening to me lately is I'm looking in the mirror and I'm noticing I'm not aging or something. I will say, let me defend her because she was not just saying I'm an attack. She listens to the show. Just the facts. Yes, but that would sound crazy out of context. She had just seen me on stage saying that girls in your 20s, I know you think you're not

going to age because you're just thinking like, oh, it's a choice. You look at older women and you go, that's so sad they're doing that. Like, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to be different. And she thinking like oh it's a choice you look at older women and you go that's so sad they're doing that like i'm not going to do that i'm going to be different and she goes oh my god that's such a good point that you made on stage about that because i was just looking in the mirror today and i thought i'm not aging and so she was just having them she was just verifying like it is true that women in their 20s don't think it's going to happen to them and then it fucking hits you so hard one day do you remember those times that are confronting like there if you walk by a certain kind of car with like a tint in the window and you see what you actually look like in that car window you're like i had no idea what do you

mean by a tint in the window when when the when you walk by like a car and like you can see your reflection yeah there's something extra revealing about that kind of that view a certain tint in the window do you ever see it's kind of like when you are wearing sunglasses that wrap around and you kind of look to the side and you can see your feet up close it's so you also see inside your pores around it and you're like how are they so disgusting oh like in the four in the four you've got that i think you might have a joke about uh the magnifying mirror the magnifying mirror awful and you know what's the worst thing about that joke is that i've always been like it's kind of it's comedians talk about like i guess i've talked about this with every comedian

i know and everyone can relate to it in something in their life where you like maybe on you you have like lyrics like this where you're just like it's a b or it's like a c it's just a placeholder and i haven't gotten back to tinker with it. I'm going to get back in there and tinkle on it. That always works. I just have never gotten back to the thing about

I have this whole bit about features in hotel rooms that make me depressed and one of them is the magnifying mirror and I've never been able to get back in there and do it.

And then I bought Ellen's book. Oh boy. It's the first it's like the first three pages no way dissecting those mirrors and how unnecessary they are and how awful they are and it's like she took that sponge and wrung it out dry is there still room because you that's you have other things in the hotel that you talk about. Yeah. Is this now toast? I think my challenge is to find something about it that she didn't talk about. Okay. It's going to be the hardest thing ever,

but it just showed me how many things there are in everything. You don't have to give up early on something. Sure. We learned that a little bit last night to a bad degree. Oh my God. Chris and I have been watching a lot of standup specials just to get ready for mine because he's producing mine. Oh, I want to hear about this. It made me sad.

Well, we can't name names. No, I know, but I was— We can't name name. Well, there was a bunch that I was like, I don't know. It really made me sad. Well, it made me happy because if anyone's been listening lately, I've been feeling imposter syndrome and feeling like, oh like oh god i'm not good enough because i've been just listening to the greats i've been comparing myself to the best at their best yeah yeah i mean i've been watching and listening to some of it with you and we watched milaney the other night at radio city and kid gorgeous it's so funny to

the it's not unfair to watch milaney and then watch anybody else oh it's it isn't fair but these people deserve that comparison they deserve the people we were watching yeah how dare anyone like anything that these people do it's it's the fans fault it's people's bad taste fault i'm angry at people who like these people and continue to support them and continue to laugh at their jokes because you think i don't know who's whose lifestyle these people like whose experience these people are representing i'm really just talking about one person i'm trying to think about multiple people no i can't there's one successful comedian and also i want to add on i'm not being um what's it with my word? I'm being peckable with your word. Fuck that book.

Fuck that dumb book. It's stupid horseshit from college. You want to add on the industry though, because the industry also just props people like that up. It's like, who are you talking to? Like there's something about them that the industry just gloms onto. But I was watching a comedian a month ago

and I could not figure out who was relating to the jokes this person was telling yeah there were audience members laughing and i was like what world are these people living in that they just understood what he said enough to think it was funny and i can't say who it was but i'll tell you after like some of these think it was funny. And I can't say who it was, but I'll tell you after some of these things, it was like somebody said, and then you know when your girl goes to the bathroom and she comes out with a rubber hose, and it's like,

enough with the hoses! And everyone's like, ahhh! That's why I was so sad last night. I was like, am I even a part of this world? This person kept saying, you know what this is like, i'm like does anybody know is this this isn't even a real thing the person would speak from their point of view representing like a certain gender and then i would check in with either chris or i am like does that represent the gender that this

person is saying and then they would switch and go other gender let me actually talk from your perspective and i'd i'd pause it and go let me say from the perspective of the gender this is from i could because i'm not trying to give away who it was it was wrong on both ends because at first i go maybe maybe this person isn't nailing the other gender because they're not that gender so they're not in the loop so they're maybe just off but then they represented my gender and i go they're fucking so off with this right i know so many women they've never had this experience i wish i could give examples i'm sorry this must be so frustrating for the listener because even listening to brian say that little thing i was like tell me who now tell me who now um but okay so let's move on we were just watching bad stand up and it it made me feel good because but what it's interesting

because i feel like i'm somewhere in between. Like, I think you either have to be real shit or fucking amazing. And in between, no one really has room for it or space for it. Does anyone agree? I think there's so much mediocrity, isn't there? But I'm saying there's either really bad that you're just like, how did this get made? Or it's like the best ever. It's feeling like

that it's starting to feel like that where a lot of this stuff like i look at um like cartoons that get bought and put on tv and it's like is there there's no in between anymore it's like this is pure horseshit there's so many cartoons that came out in the last three to five years that are like irredeemably bad it doesn't even make sense that they're on television. And then every once in a while, there's something that's so amazing. And I'm like, God damn it. I'll never be able to write something like that.

That's why I just think if Succession exists and John Mulaney exists, what are we doing? There's room for other stuff, but it should be pretty close to that. It should be a bar. We need chances to get there, too. Like on a football team, is there someone? There's Mahomes.

There's a whole practice squad. Patrick squad. But are they terrible? I'm a part of the Patrick squad. I'm a big Mahomes fan. Okay, we got to go to break. Well, let's change the subject after this because it's frustrating for people who are out of the loop. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show

Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and my latest interview is with Mel Robbins. The theory is very simple.

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You have no idea right now how much time and energy is being wasted because of other people's behavior. It's like a death by a thousand cuts. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends, EGOT winner Viola Davis,

and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe, and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories, and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique. Listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Seven questions, limitless answers. I found out like, I can't have kids because they're awful.

They're ruining my life. Just really building it up like, oh, I can't have kids. But like the reason is because they'll ruin my life. Right. Last night when Chris and I went to dinner and I just saw this like toddler knocking things off the table. And the parents just like tired and both hunched over with horrible posture. Not looking at each other, not even dressed up, just trying to get through the day.

And I was just like, I just felt real good about it. Again, I felt it was like that scene verified this other thing I've been doubting. Like, am I doing the wrong thing by not doing that? And then watching the specials at home of the bad people made me feel like, okay, I'm good. What is it called when you watch things to make you feel better?

Hate watch or schadenfreude? Schadenfreude is when you hate something to feel better. I don't know. Hate watch is I think the word you're thinking of though. Yeah, I don't think I was hate watching. Yeah, hate watch is when you're entertained. Isn't it more you take pleasure

in other people's... Suffering? Yeah, pleasure. when you're like entertained. Isn't that, isn't it more you take pleasure in other people's... Suffering? Yes, pleasure. What's that? Pleasure in other people's suffering. Yes. Is schaden. That's what I think it is.

Okay, then I was having schadenfreude at the dinner. Actually, I felt bad for those parents. I want them to have a good life and I'm sure they do. But don't you think there's a certain element of you looking for things like like trying to like pour on like reasons to not do it because it's such it's annoying to you in so many ways and yeah it's like getting to the end of the road potentially and it's like okay it would be good yes sour grapes it's good to validate the thing the choice that i've already made and then i had stress dreams last night about having a baby and we named it nolan and whoa it was like premature and it came out and it turned into like a little animal and i was chasing around that animal and i i always have stress dreams

where i'm trying to take care of an animal that i've starved to death and it's like fluttering around like a moth that's injured and i'm trying to find it and then i lose it and then i rescue it and i'm holding it in my hand and then it morphs into different things and that's a common stress dream for me but we had a baby we named it nolan and chris's middle name is nolan not because of the actor i think the nolan's the coolest name ever director is what i mean yeah does he ever act were you ever at any point in the dream did you say to yourself for 50 seconds i thought there were monsters on this earth no that's a reference wait why would i say that oh because they turn into little monsters well yeah because you said it was like a it was like an animal running around yes it was it was chris and i've also

been watching the detroiters which is um i think you should leave that's the reference he just made uh the beginning of the end for Comedy Central is when they canceled Detroiters. Or the end of the end, really. Because they don't have money for it. They don't do anything. Do they do Nora from Queens? Is that the only show they have right now?

I have no idea what they're doing. But Detroiters was great. It was so good. We're only halfway through the first season, and we love it. It's like a little, we know we only have two seasons of it. It we're watching things it's like oh we also started watching have you guys have you guys i'm sure you guys do all this stuff but like go back in on seinfeld

episodes randomly we're going back in on arrested development we're on season two i love it too oh it's so good i think it's our second or third time through. Brian, do you and Allie go back and watch shows together? Like re-watch? Yeah, like, I don't know. Do you ever, yeah, watch re-watch? I mean, Allie, as I mentioned,

Allie is watching Seinfeld for the first time, and so I'm re-watching it with her at points, but it's very rare that we would go back and watch a series again that we've already seen together i think that's rare that you that

they're that you don't do that are you in a loveless marriage it's rare that we do that she'll watch movies again and again uh but yeah i don't think like if like if there's a show that we really like like we've watched it and then we move on to the next one right there's just so many great things there's not there's no mediocre stuff out anymore everything's great i think that there i get a lot of joy out of watching things that i know chris and i both have like loved separately when growing up or whatever before we met and then we watched them together like last night i pulled up the seinfeld episode where he is posing as a marine biologist. Anya, were you really into Seinfeld?

Not, I think I watched it, but I wasn't, I didn't appreciate it at the time. You have to go watch Seinfeld. It is the, it's, I realize it has colored my personality more than anything in my life. Seinfeld has. Yeah. I think I just watched the wallet episode where George gets the wallet oh yeah he has to like

reversible or something he has the she gets too big but last night we watched the one where he the sea was angry that day my friends

classic and then we also watched the one I just love Julia Rupp or Julia Louis-Dreyfus moments Jerry give me 20 bucks.

Let's see if you get the 20 bucks back. Because Jerry keeps breaking even. And so she's like, give me 20 bucks. Because he's like, I lose a job. I get a job. I lose a girlfriend. I get another girlfriend. I lose a poker game.

I get that money back. And she's like, give me 20 bucks. And he's like, what for? And she's like, just give me 20 bucks. And then she takes it and she just throws it out the window. And she goes, and she just looks at him like, and she's so excited, so cute. And then you were like, she just throws it out the window and she goes, and she just looks in like, and she's so excited, so cute.

And then you were like, she's just the cutest thing. She's the most charming. She's amazing. She's amazing. I get it. That marine biologist speech makes me miss like

live studio audiences a little bit. When you have a really good moment in a sitcom and then the audience erupts in applause, like that is worth it. I think that's worth

some of the corniness. If they would just make the jokes better. When I hear people have not enjoyed their working times, it really makes me not enjoy the thing

I used to like. Like when Rainn Wilson was like, I hated. Yeah, I just found out he was depressed during The Office

and was never happy and he was constantly thinking about why didn't my movie do well? Why am I not signing this person? Why am I not getting this development deal? He was miserable the whole time he was making The Office. He was trying to prove, why didn't my movie do well? Why am I not signing this person? Why am I not getting this development deal?

He was miserable the whole time he was making The Office. He was trying to prove a point, which is like, he wishes he would have gone back and just been happy with what he had, just had gratitude in the moment. Because he was on the hit. He was the best character on, or one of the best characters ever to live in a comedic series and one of the best comedies to ever be made. And he couldn't enjoy it. So it was a point he just made in a comedic series and one of the best comedies to ever be made and he

couldn't enjoy it so it was a point he just made in a podcast offhand but that's clips been circulating and i felt the same way of like well this is gonna change the way i look at this like he was in the and matthew perry all those quotes that came out of his book how he was miserable how he's blacked out how he was just frantically so upset all the time about if a line was gonna work or not with the studio audience like he could never be sure of it so he was always on edge like i don't know about you i don't want my performers to be on edge just can everyone just have fun that's why if i'm going out on stage i try to like genuinely set the stage to be having a good time because the worst thing i could ever do

for my fans at least or for me as a fan the worst thing to find out would be if taylor swift was having a bad time or like she was having a bad day that day and apparently she's having a great time that's why i like that shane gillis special he's out there yeah whether he is or isn't he looks like he's having a good time yes yeah and i yes i buy it and that's why i'd be excited to go see taylor now knowing that she's like super like starting to be in love. She's in the best stages of a relationship. The early stages where everything they do is adorable and you're just like, you know, fawning over a hunk.

That's part of what you're selling. We used to have that. Yeah, you used to be a hunk. We get back together though. Whenever you get back together, we have a surge of that. Yeah, yeah, I would say so. Yeah, it's good. So we're due.

Yeah, we're overdue. Yeah, it's, I just want every- When you get on stage, that's part of what you're selling is having a good time. And that's why I bet you the comedian you're watching that you're like, who's relating to this? I bet you they're not relating to it. I bet you they're just like, he's having such a good time. I want to have a good time also. And that's what you sell.

The experience. There's a great quote. And I think Jeff Tweedy paraphrased it from somebody else. But he said something like, people go to concerts because they want to see people believing in themselves. That's so true. That's what you want. You want to be confident in the person. You want to know that the person's having a great time.

That is why I suffer with watching Taylor Swift's 1989 performances because she said in Miss Americana that she was starving herself at that time and that she would really feel exhausted and hungry. I don't think she said hungry, but she would feel so exhausted during those shows because she didn't have enough energy and so i it's it makes me sad to watch it now because i'm like oh she might have been like hungry during this or something and now i just can't enjoy you know uh you are in love as the song as much that performance that's from what which album actually as someone who's been in a rex before the only time i was having fun was when i was performing and i would stop forgetting about how hungry i am so now you maybe i'll be able to watch it yeah nice nice reversal okay like that really is like the only time like you're wasting years you're getting that dopamine rush

and you're like i'm not even hungry like i'm fucking i'm getting all this attention and love now 1989 is the only thing you can watch because the other ones are like she's probably full right now 19 to 89 was her weight range

that she was going for during that time as well no I'm not making light Taylor don't get mad about that show please if you're listening I love you so much it was just a joke

nice apology in the moment apology well it is I mean you gotta do it you gotta do it because i don't want to ever made some comments yeah uab wait can i just quickly go back to the morning show i'm not done just saying some of my gripes really no one more thing but what about all the people that haven't listened because i think this because this even at the time i was like we gotta move on no no i think this is interesting. I think, okay, shows do this a lot, especially shows written by men.

And I don't mean to be like, does it pass the Bechdel test? Are women ever talking about anything other than men? But you could tell in this show, they needed to make Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon's characters their best friends. But they haven't shown us that in the storyline at all. Like, there's been no evidence of that because, actually, they were adversaries for a couple of the,

for both seasons. They had not great moments where they were kind of in competition with each other and threatened by one another. So, something happened, though, between season two and season three, and now they're really close and

best friends and how did they prove it to us but why is this a guy what what has that anything to do with this is where i potentially this is why i don't even know that a guy came up with this idea i know you're looking it up right now to prove me wrong i'm not trying to prove you wrong i'm just i'm just guessing it was because this is why chris i'm gonna explain it because the the way they made these women seem close was that they had one of them say to the other oh oh well did you get that rug i suggested you get yes yes i did get the rug it looks great and she goes you gotta come you haven't been to my place yet i've invited you so many times you gotta come see the rug she's like i know uh i gotta get over there to see the rug and she goes yeah it's it's i've had the rug a while and

you've been promising to come over and you gotta come over for some wine so it's wine it's women suggesting rugs to each other and it's like and it's you gotta come over and see the rug it's like you gotta come see the baby like when i went to went to Nashville to write a hit song with a very well-known writer down there and he was like, let's write a song from like a point of view of a girl. Like, let's just do a song for like what you guys like to do.

Like, I got a manicure today. I'm gonna meet my girls for martinis. I was like, what the fuck? I hate to say it, directed by a woman, written by a woman. Okay, that's fine. She's a misogynist.

And a lot of women are. I'm just saying, I get the sense of those things too sometimes. And I'm like, this was probably not. Yeah, because you say sometimes this was written by a woman. Because this is not a man's. Because something will happen on a show and you'll be like, did they just say like, hit a touchdown or something? And you're like, who wrote this?

Me. And then you look it up and you're like, oh, okay. Christopher Nolan. So I understand like the inclination to do that. I get it. But it was definitely written by a woman. I hear that. I hear that.

But it was just, I guess, I didn't mean to play the man card or like men don't understand women at all. It's more that just make them not friends. They can just not be friends we don't need them to be friends but i think they just need it for us to to calm us in some way like oh at least they're friends because there's no they we don't see them hang out at all we but then okay but this is the storyline that is fucking nuts okay first episode if you haven't

seen the show you don't like the show it's not a spoiler alert and you should watch it just to see if you think it's as crazy as me so a little bit of a spoiler want to do a honk for morning show first episode okay so Reese Witherspoon is a she's on the like evening news and she's the Peter Jennings now okay and then Jennifer Aniston is like the Katie Couric of like the today show okay so she does the morning show so Jennifer Aniston has been training to go up into space. They're going to set her up in a shuttle, but the shuttle is bought by a guy like Elon Musk, who is a billionaire, who the guy at UBA,

which is the network, it's like CBS. UBA is going to, the main guy there, is going to sell UBA to this rich guy. But she doesn't know that. She says, I'm going up in this space shuttle with this Jon Hamm guy. And so she's training training for like months waking up early in the morning to go running so she can go up in this dumb space shuttle it's this whole thing on the show which i kind of like maybe they do that okay that makes kind of like shatner did it like yeah so people

have done this okay so like i don't hate that but what i do hate is that reese witherspoon has a story that she's working on where there is a woman in Texas who is going across the border to get women abortion pills in the states because women in Texas can't get abortions anymore. And she is so upset about it. And she's talking to this girl who is risking her life to get across the border. And she really wants to expose the story. Then she gives it to her story editor. And her story editor is like, no way, Reese. That is too touchy of a subject for us at uba this is a family network and we gotta pick our battles and she's like i only came on this network so i could

change the world and she's feeling very frustrated then she goes to jennifer aniston she's like they're gonna cut my story and jennifer is like oh god you know you just gotta pick your battles my rug you're finally seeing the rug have some wine don't spill it on the rug so then they spill it no so then so then she's going down to go to space they're flying down there and on the plane and so Reese has kind of told Jennifer Aniston about the abortion issue and she's like that's terrible and she's like it's really bad and so Jennifer Aniston on the plane down to go to space toxas is like looking through her phone and she's like oh it is awful these abortion clinics guess how many fake abortion clinics there are in texas out of 120 guess how many and she's talking to all our people who don't care and they're like

she's like a hundred of them are fake she was like this is bullshit so she's getting fired up oh they set the scene something's gonna happen jennifer anston suddenly sold on this abortion story that she just told Reese to bury. And just like told Reese, you know, you got to pick your battles, Reese. Don't do it. So she goes down. And then on the way there, she gets there. And she finds out that Reese with her spoon is also on her way down.

Because she is going to go find this woman and do a story about her. But then the woman goes to jail because she's selling abortion pills. And Jennifer Aniston doesn't like the sound of that and says, you know what? I actually have to cover this story. I am so passionate about her. But then the woman goes to jail because she's selling abortion pills. And Jennifer Aniston doesn't like the sound of that and says, you know what? I actually have to cover this story. I am so passionate about it.

So then Reese gives up her story to Jennifer Aniston for some reason. It doesn't make a lot of sense. It doesn't make any sense. That made no sense.

No fucking sense. But Jennifer Aniston, she's got to go up into space. What does she do? Bails on space. This thing she's been planning for months to do. It's a whole thing to go up into space. They she do bails on space this thing she's been planning for months to do it's a whole thing to go up into space they're literally going into

space you guys this is like they're going in like an hour yeah they're going in an hour to space and she's missing in the morning and she doesn't tell anyone she just kind of takes off and they're like we can't find her and they're like we got to get someone else to go into space so luckily reese witherspoon's there she and and she's like you know what i'll go into space there's no training she just shows up john ham is expecting uh rachel green to walk in jen branson that's where this guy finds out that this girl is not going and they send this other girl up into recent space with no training and then my favorite part was that the person god okay it's like it's you know how they go like um uh houston we have a

problem like the whole mission control the mission control is the television studio so the guy who counts down to the shuttle takeoff is the same guy is like the production manager what's the guy's like i think he's the director he's like the director of the morning show. And he's like, three, two, one, blast off. Okay, that guy, I only figured out later because I'm like, why is the guy from the shuttle launch in every episode subsequently in New York? And I'm like, oh, cause he's the director of the show. They just threw him in there.

Then they go up into space and Reese Witherspoon is floating around being like, the world looks beautiful up here. And Jennifer Aniston's downstairs and like downstairs on earth. I call it downstairs. That's what, you know,

cosmonauts. Yeah. Mars. Why did I say cosmonauts? Does that mean? Wow. You're a Russian. Wait,

why are they cosmonauts? Why can't they be astronauts? You know, it's just a different organization. But why are astronauts American? Why can't, because there's nothing, astro doesn't mean American. Probably in Russian, yeah, like the cosmos,

whatever the language they use to describe space. A Russian astronaut is a cosmonaut. Yes. But in France, is it like skymonauts? Like, do they just pick like the starmonauts? Do they just pick a different way to say? You know French, you can do better than that. It's cosmonauts.

Well, I'm just like a CL-manauts or whatever. What's a sky in French? It is cosmonauts in French. Cosmonauts? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, in Russian. Oh my God, I just looked it up.

It's cosmonauts. Did you hate this episode, Anya, as much as I did? Were you just like, ugh, what's happening? I was yelling at the TV I was like wait they just swapped she stole her story without telling Reese and then Reese was like I guess I'll go up into space it was one of the most disrespectful

episodes of television I've ever been a part of they had no respect for their audience I thought it was and then the second episode even gets why I mean also I thought Reese slept was, and then the second episode even gets, I mean. Also, I thought Reese slept with the woman from Texas.

I thought the woman she woke up with in the morning was the woman who was doing the abortion pill thing. That was confusing to me. that would have been fucked up.

No, I would have been very upset about that if that was the storyline. And, I like, I like that you kept watching it after that.

Why was Reese blonde? And no one talks, like she was brunette all up to this, right? No, she went blonde last season. I think it was like a choice that they made on the show. What season is this?

The man was like, we need her to be blonde. Yeah. And you're telling me seasons one and two were good? Yeah, they were pretty good. One was good. One was great.

I miss Steve Carell. I do too. I wish. It just makes me think when stuff like this happens that they lucked into a good season and they didn't actually know what they were doing. When it came to- Can we talk about the theme song? Yeah.

It's really- Beep, beep, bop. Beep, beep, bop. Is anything worse? It is 14 minutes long. What's dumber than scat? It's terrible. That was one of the worst ideas that anybody's ever had.

Watch the morning show. Just please try to get through just the theme. It's trying to be, I think you should leave. Or not, I think you should leave. Remember Catch Me If You Can? Remember that theme? It was really interesting and had like kind of cartoon characters that were like mysterious. And it was all moving and grass.

Yeah, it was cool. That's what they're trying to do when they're failing. um tig is on this season though and i like seeing tig yeah it's great seeing tig yeah she's cool that's an exciting part of it is yeah a lot of salt and pepper hair on the season tig ham and duplass lots of great salt and pepper happening i can't wait for that to happen to my hair i hope it does what i never know you won't even let it you won't even know when it does because we blonde it too much yeah but i want to be salt and pepper like grayish with the other i don't think i don't think you do you would you're saying things like you're saying like oh my god i wish i was a bigger girl like you're doing that thing that women do where they don't really want it but they're like trying to empower other women

do you know what i'm saying i don't know here's what i really want god if you're listening goddess okay i want pure white hair and i'm gonna dye it blonde at the same time but it's gonna be able to grow out for weeks at a time and no one will know because the blonde that i dye it is just a half a shade off from the white that is natural like kirsten's mom has that hair okay ingrid all right okay just pure white can that happen i don't know because you'll have to grow out your hair to see what it is. Like at some point, women who go gray, they have to say, fuck it for a really long time enough to let the, the grays come in. There's a transition period there.

Yeah. It's rough. It's going to be a lot of it around New York city. It's cool. You'll see a woman just walking down the street and like half her hair is magenta. And then the top half is like salt and pepper. Cool.

I have to decide what do we think is cool? Looking hot and young or looking old as fuck and like owning it because we And then the top half is like salt and pepper cool. I have to decide what do we think is cool? Looking hot and young or looking old as fuck and like owning it. Because we are kind of split. And that's what I think frustrates me is like owning it and being yourself is like the greatest way to look. And then looking fake and perfect and like plumped up is also the best thing to look. So what's right? No, the problem is there's so many different opinions. There is no consensus. So it'd be like everybody wants thing to look. So what's right? No, the problem is there's so many different opinions that there is no consensus.

So it'd be like everybody wants everybody to look young. Like there are a lot of people that want people to look young, but there's people that are like, oh, this woman with platinum gray hair is fabulous because she's like stylish and cool. So it's like. Yeah, you got to be stylish if you go gray. That's the problem. Yeah, you have to be real stylish.

You can't just wear. Except for like cool collars. Stylish or a jewelry like really great like what are they called bangle like bracelets or a hippie i feel like like they're like really deep hippie women who sell it yes and you have to actually like yourself like you have to exude confidence and self-esteem that like so few people i was gonna say women but I think so few people ever reach that level of like, I like myself. But when I think we're all attracted to these women and like just attracted, meaning like I want to just know her. It's usually a woman who doesn't give a fuck if you care what she looks like. She's not trying anymore in that way.

She just like has this thing about her. And I think that's what we're kind of all going for. Have you guys? I loved Esther Perel in the morning show. Yeah, she's foxy. Yeah. But she's still trying. Yeah, but she's got beautiful crow's feet

exploding from each eye. And I loved it. Wow, that's really. I'm sure she'd love to hear that. I mean, they were like radiating, not exploding. That was a little hard. It's like fireworks on your it. Wow. That's really. I'm sure she'd love to hear that. I mean, they were like radiating, not exploding. That was a little hard. It's like fireworks on your face. Growing up, my dad would like prefer us to have like tucked in shirts and then like,

you know, be clean shaven and stuff. That generation hates an untucked shirt. They loved it. And so sometimes, and he's like the he's he's just like the nicest happiest like nothing is really laced in an insult or anything but now i think he's genuinely like embraced certain things and he's like oh i love i love the uh five o'clock shadow and like in some cases you'd be like he that's an insult masked as a compliment but he because people do that sometimes because your dad is genuinely but people do that People do that thing where they lace an insult

Mask it It's like You look healthy Yes Chubby cheeks I like your laugh lines Yes I think they're great

You have strong legs I wish I had strong legs You mean fat? Is that what you mean? You're just having to call out my fat legs I love that sturdy look I wish I could wear things like you Just like not care about it at all

Just shop at like big and plus stores I wish they made that my size I'm little I wish I was a pig Fat pig You're a pig I wish I was a pig. Yeah. Fat pig. You're a pig. I wish I was like that. Yes.

But your dad is a special human being. Yeah. No, he's great. He's the greatest person, I think, going. He's very happy. Me, my brother-in-law, we've decided the awards for the greatest people we know. That Matt Green is- My brother-in-law.

I think he's the greatest man in America. I would actually nominate him. I would. family man like really good dad really good husband oh totally non-judgmental always ready to joke around and be silly down to clown also like very knowledgeable about like things cares about the environment cares about city planning yep uh always just not pretentious um just there's not a bad thing about him he's a perfect man except his face yeah if you don't look at him no but no he's he's a he's a stunning man too he's a cutie um no i'm not attracted to him even though he does look exactly like to me i think you should leave tim robbins he looks like a different version of him but like his facial mannerisms and stuff are very similar but yeah i think him and your dad are like my top like

top great guys great people did you and your sister ever like share a crush on a guy she lost her virginity to someone i had a crush on for a while so that was a bummer i called my dad that night sobbing in college tell told him everything yeah no way i didn't tell her like like i wasn't ratting her out i was just like i think i just i didn't say like i i think i i don't believe i would have divulged what i knew it was just like it let me can i restate that so my sister doesn't well no she doesn't care she had to lose her virginity at some point it wasn't to matt i'm not saying the guy's name but i liked this guy for a while and he was my age oh in my class and this was in college a little bit older right is she two years younger or one

year two years okay yeah and so he was in my grade and he was my friend's friend and he was like i liked him a lot and then i found out that he liked her that was just the way it went for old glazedog for several years and i just remember sobbing and looking at this cheap i was on the floor looking at the carpet i could always remember what carpet i'm staring into when I'm sobbing uncontrollably. It's like a thing. I remember one time begging you not to break up with me and I remember Yeah. Oh, that's true.

I forgot who told me to get that rug. I'm sure she was a dear friend of mine, but I was, because that's how girls become friends. It's the only way. I just remember things when I'm sobbing. I was like this target rug I had that was purple and I was sobbing into it and my tears were dropping on it and i was i called my dad because i just had

nobody to talk i don't why would i call him i have no idea but i just you know what i think at this point in my life i was so mad that my parents made me that i wanted to like torture them right because it was their fault i existed yeah it's my fault that i kind of look like you more than i look like mom and that's why this guy wanted to have sex with lauren and not me and it's i didn't say that but it was just like you this is your fault and i think lots of kids feel that way i think that's a like i didn't ask to get born why did you do this i'm so ugly no one likes me it was really sad and he was just like and you know my dad's response this is my parents respond you want to hear my parents respond to any response

to any time come on yeah that's pretty good that's close this is ridiculous i'm not listening to this anymore this is so stupid this is just shut up shut up i mean I will give them the benefit of the doubt because I was like I am so ugly I don't deserve to live no one wants me they all want Lauren I'm kind of into that response now that I think about it and I've had so much therapy

about like making sure you allow people to have their feelings Nikki I'm tired of listening to this shit it's the same thing over and over. Just shut up. It does kind of work. It's almost Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Yeah.

Okay, we have to go to break. We'll be back with more after this. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondence and contributors. It's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth

interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and my latest interview is with Mel Robbins. The theory is very simple. It is a mindset tool that instantly helps you identify

what's in your control and what's not in your control. Renowned motivational speaker, best-selling author, Mel Robbins. Work has been seen as the number one cause of stress. How can the let them theory help? As you notice the stress come up, Jay, you're simply going to say, let them. You have no idea right now how much time and energy

is being wasted because of other people's behavior. It's like a death by a thousand cuts. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, our experiences can lead us to drastically different answers. I'm Minnie Driver, and I set out to explore this idea in my podcast, Minnie Questions. Over the years, we've had some incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends,

EGOT winner Viola Davis, and former Prime Minister of the UK, Tony Blair. And now, Mini Questions is returning for another season. We've asked an entirely new set of guests our seven questions, including Jane Lynch, Delaney Rowe and Cord Jefferson. Each episode is a new person's story with new lessons, new memories and new connections to show us how we're both similar and unique listen to mini questions on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts seven questions limitless answers oh yeah did you guys did you guys talk have you done a podcast this week did you talk about your i did one yes okay well i talked about the country club show and how it was kind of rough, but it was like

ended up being fun. And then Lizzie and I hung out afterwards. But you had like a great friend weekend. I feel like having friend weekends, because we're all like, because of COVID or whatever, we're like, we all live in different parts of the country now. I got some good hanging in. He gots to go see those friends. And it's like reaffirming how great life is when you see a great friend.

It's so true. I got Lizzie in, which was, you know, she and I used to have lunch every single day for three years from like 2015 to 2018. Mustard Seed? Yeah, Mustard Seed Cafe on Hillhurst in Los Feliz. We would have lunch every day there. We still go there sometimes and there's still the bus boy there

that is there. The bus man. He's a bus man now. He was a boy. Yeah, he's grown. And he still recognizes it's nice. And then,

so yeah, it was so nice to catch up with her. And it's just like, she's someone that I think has probably been hurt by my lack of staying in touch

when I live in different cities. But she's let that go now. And so now we just like hop right into it. We're going to dinner tonight actually. I'm in different cities, but she's let that go now. And so now we, we just like hop right into it. We're going to dinner tonight. Actually, I'm getting on a plane right at the end of this podcast. You're going to see her tonight.

I'm going to go to dinner with her tonight. And then I had lunch with Rachel Feinstein and she made me laugh a whole lot. And, and then I saw a meal. I saw, I saw him at the airport too, on my way home.

Yeah. I had, I didn't have a meal with a meal, but I saw a meal. Yeah. I just go a meal. And he was walking by in LaGuardia. I've seen him at the airport too on my way home yeah I had I didn't have a meal with Emil but I saw Emil yeah I just go Emil and he was walking by in LaGuardia

I've seen him at an airport too by chance it was so exciting it's so exciting to run and then we like realized we had nothing to talk about because we had just had

been up three nights before that we were just gonna okay cool see ya and then and he might come on tour

with us again he told me he's he's gonna come on some dates which I'm He told me he's, he's going to come on some dates, which I'm very excited about. He's done some dates with somebody else. It's awesome, right? Neil Brennan.

Yeah. Yeah. I gave Neil Brennan him. That would be a great show. What a gift. Yeah. I own him. No, no.

You're leasing him out like, like Manchester United. Yeah. Wait, what Manchester United leased out? Like the soccer teams will like, like lease a player out to another squad. I didn't know that. Yeah. Wait, what, Manchester United? Like, the soccer teams will, like, lease a player out to another squad.

I didn't know that. Yeah. Okay. Mm-hmm. So, I saw a meal. Who did else I see? Oh,

Sarah Lena came with me to this event I hosted on Wednesday for, like, women in journalism. It was called the Matrix Awards.

And I made the joke, like, it's a pleasure to host the Matrix Awards even though i've never seen any of the movies um but i will say a man in a long coat did give me two pills on the way out here on the street and i took both of them so we'll see what happens tonight did you say the i feel like i can dodge bullets no i didn't say that one you said i could do kung fu no i ran

both of these by chris and he gave me some extra lines but i didn't take them did any other jokes do well or bomb um one thing did really well it got in page six actually someone sent me um so this woman gave a passionate speech about like her mentor frank something he started he's a big big deal he's some ceo or something and she was like and whenever i get in a jam i always just think what would Frank do? You know and she was talking about that and so my prompter stopped working at one point

and I was like what would Frank do? People love a fucking callback man. Because you did something like that at the at the St. Louis you won that St. Louis

Excellent Award or whatever. Oh yeah yeah. Did you talk about that on a podcast? I don't know if I talked about that. Oh yeah I won that award for being an excellent

ambassador of St. Louis with Jackie Joyner-Kersee. And yeah, I made some reference to like the mishap because they, as long as you're just addressing the thing that's going on

that is really boring, people like it. Yeah. So I was paying attention to the show so I could make those references because that's where I was going to like

get in the laughs. Final thought, I wasn't paid for this where I was going to get in the laughs. Final thought. I wasn't paid for this event. Just going to put that out there. Usually, you get a gift bag or they donate to a charity. that said, hey, thank you for doing this?

No, didn't get it. They did get my rider. They did get me a... Oh, rice cake. No, no. Nothing exciting is on your rider no nothing literally rice cakes and hummus and no they got me a veggie tray and a zevia and i did take in my yeah they got me they got me car service there and back and they got me my flights

but i put myself up wow so for the matrix awards yeah it's like a charity and let me tell you they gave away these awards that were made from tiffany like at tiffany and i go why couldn't you just go to a trophy company giving me a couple grand even donate like if i do an award show again i'm going to ask for something yeah give give something to star avian rescue ring or something yes that's crazy that seems like a tiffany's is this a charity is this a non-profit like or is it just i'll just tell you when someone found out that was honored at the thing, I kind of broed out

with one of the girls that was getting an award, who is one of the most impressive people I've ever met in my entire life. She got an award and I told her later on because she was like, you killed it. That was such a long night. Oh my God, you brought so much levity.

Thank God you were there because it was, it was long. And, um, she did. And I said, did you know what I go? And I can't believe I didn't get paid.

And she goes, what the fuck? She was like, you did it. She goes, what is wrong with you? Who is representing? She got so mad,

all caps. And it felt really good because I don't know why I did. I'm glad I did it. I think, um because I don't know why I did I'm glad I did it. I think Seems like it. Yeah. I mean they're not going to ask me back. Not because I didn't do a good job. But I did try very hard and

yeah you just It's my fault for doing it and thinking that I would feel good enough doing it and not getting anything like not getting compensated. I should have you know researched it a little getting anything compensated. Like, not getting compensated. I should have, you know, researched it a little bit more. Do your own research. Everybody knows that.

And as a, yeah, as a journal, I should have known that. How did they justify this to you? Last year. So I could see saying yes. Because you're like, oh, Katie Couric. All I went off of was my manager. I didn't even read the initial email. My manager said, this would be good for you to do.

And he rarely says that and he's like the best in the game he's the best and so i think he might have just made a mistake in this moment because this wasn't this why is it good for you to do we'll find out what i would like to know in 20 years we'll find out in the next year i made friends with this really impressive journalist woman that i'm like obsessed with like, that was worth it to me. My friend Sarah Lena was there. And I did it. You got into page six.

I did a good job. And the event, let me just say, this was nothing to shake a stick at. This event was a very well-done dinner banquet. Amazing, like, just, like, it's something, like, I would have seen, like, you produce, Chris. Like, you would have really loved the screens. Like while people were speaking, there would be a slideshow behind them. Then afterwards there would be a video about their life

and the video was really interesting. And the speech, like the people that ran it were fucking top-notch. The people who it was, you know, I'm not trying to backtrack and like give credit, but it is, it was an impressive event, but they should have paid a host. And I hope next year, whoever hosts it gets some money.

Because it was a lot of work for me to do. You prepared a lot. I will say that when I first got out there, the microphone was down by my chest. Because I guess whoever had set it up was very short. And they couldn't hear me. But I thought they could. I'm not an idiot with amplification. I know.

So I just thought they could hear me, but they couldn't. So I'm talking about, like, this is such an important night for women to share their voices. I'm so honored to be here, to be a beacon for all women. We can't hear you. And so then a man, one of the stage directors, comes out, a man, and takes the mic while I'm talking and lifts it up, and I go I go oh so I guess we do need

men to like share our voices I was like thanks for mansplaining microphones to me and that got a laugh too so that was good so that was like a I would have probably written that in had I thought that's a great yeah that's a great but everyone they were honoring was like really cool I got to hear a bunch of like TED talks

from these very impressive women it wasn't I would do the event again, but it was just too much work for me right now in my life. If I didn't have anything else going on, I would absolutely

have volunteered to do this. It was just coinciding with like my tour. Oh, you've got that tour coming up. Are there any dates that you've got? There's so many dates.

Name one. Dude. San Francisco. We live in California, which is near Sacramento. That's coming up. I have Vegas this weekend. I have San Diego, San Francisco, Calgary, Prior Lake, Minnesota.

Minnesota. Lawrence, Kansas. Yeah. Denver. I just added a show. On the 30th at the, I believe the Paramount Theater. They love you in Denver. Yeah. So let's sell that out. I would love to do two shows, and I think Paramount thing. They love you in Denver. Yes. Yeah.

So let's sell that out. I would love to do two shows and I think that one will be pretty close to like midnight. So we'll be able to ring in the 31st together. Great, great crowds in Denver. It'll be New Year's Eve Eve.

It's on the 30th. No way. Yeah. Wow. So. Atlantic City. That's bold. Portland,

Oregon. Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do for Detroit. Actually, that's kind of better for people, for people that live in Denver, like skip, skip New Year's Eve. Do New Year's Eve Eve.

Party with us. Yeah, let's take a nap the next day. None of the danger of being out there. No kissing anyone. Well, you can kiss somebody. There's no one kissing at my shows. I forbid it. When's the last time you kissed?

Today, this afternoon. Yeah. When I got home. Aw, was it like a lot of tongue or no no we don't we don't go in for tongue unless it's like you know we don't go into each other's bodies until it's time to go into each other's bodies i think it's time to end this podcast no we we we kiss every every night before bed i so it was last night before bed and then when i saw you today when i got home and i go hi honey i'm home yeah we do that whole charade yeah that's fun yeah charade and yesterday i made him i'm really i'm obsessed with the song um sure thing

by miguel i had a game that i was thinking about trying to play, but I think we're out of time. We're out of time. What was the game? It's called Hot Takes. It's something I do on The Courtney Show. Oh, my God. And it's basically what I do is I go around to everybody. I bring up a topic, and then I go,

Nikki, and then you guys, you have to do a pretty quick hot take. Oh, let's just do one really quick. The game has pace. Well, for it to work, we have to do like three. Well, let's just try one. Otherwise, it feels silly because well then it's not because then it's literally like what's your hot take on this and

then you say something quickly and then we say all right well everyone just says those fine a hot take for each person would you three yeah yeah we could do it that way okay cool this is called hot takes all right here we go natalie and brolia's 1997 cover of Torn. Anya, hot take. Great. Loved it. Edna Swapp wrote it. She fucking nailed it.

Good for her. True story. Sports betting in America. Good for America or bad for America? Brian, hot take. Oh, excellent for America. Everyone could be rich. Married life on a scale of one to ten.

Brian. Ten. Crossword puzzles do you like doing them or not nikki go um they are fun every night but i feel around 8 30 to 9 o'clock there is attention in the room as chris awaits one he can't really pay attention whatever we're waiting because they drop at nine o'clock whatever we're watching is not getting his full attention there's just like a little bit of like a, there's like a little anticipation. And then when we do them, I've been losing so much because Brian and Chris and I all kind of compete

on Mondays and Wednesdays. I don't even submit mine because as soon as Chris, as soon as I'm second place, I don't even want to do it anymore. And so I just stop playing. Nikki gives up. Great hot take. Dusty as an insult.

Noah, hot take. I like it. As an insult to use against somebody else noah expound who would you call dusty uh probably like some gross metal dude yeah great answer great answer salsa is it for dipping pouring or drinking drinking my favorite drink yesterday i even said i was talking about a salsa, and I was like, my mom won't even drink that brand. And Chris was like, people don't drink salsa.

Yeah, Nikki said my mom won't drink that brand. It was so crazy. I forgot that people don't drink that. Last hot take. Wait, I'm just not because I'm salivating. I'm just thinking about it. Oh, yeah, that's good. I know.

I got to go catch a plane. Last hot take. Miguel's best song. Hot take, Nikki. Sure thing. I say it's adorned. Brian, hot take. Miguel's best song. Hot take, Nikki. Sure thing. I say it's adorned. Brian, hot take. Miguel's best song.

I don't know who Miguel is. Okay. Alejandro's best novel. Anya, hot take. Trick question. Hot take is over. Very well done. Who was Alejandro?

It was made up because I just said Miguel. It's a Lady Gaga song. Oh, yeah. It is a Lady Gaga song. All right. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast, Chris. You're going to drive me to the airport now, baby. We're going Lady Gaga song. All right. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast, Chris. You're going to drive me to the airport now, baby.

All right. Go on to gate 56. No kissing. All right. Thank you guys so much. See you on the road, on the tour. Please come out to my shows. I would love to see you besties there.

Don't be cute. And just dance. We'll be okay. And just dance. We'll be okay. Da-da-do-do. And just dance. With the record player. Da-da-do-do. And just.

Gotta go. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show. And in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment. To the unique voices of correspondents and contributors. It's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The OGs of uncensored motherhood are back and badder than ever. I'm Erica. And I'm Mila. And we're the hosts of the Good Moms Bad Choices podcast, brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network every Wednesday. Yeah, we're moms. But not your mommy.

Historically, men talk too much. And women have quietly listened. And all that stops here. If you like witty women then this is your tribe listen to the good mom's bad choices podcast every wednesday on the black effect podcast network the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you go to find your podcast you don't need another podcast you've got too many already but if you're looking for one that actually changes something a way to take

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