The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #381 Nikki's Indecent Photo, A Long Running Joke & Breakfast of Champions

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

Nikki loved the response she got from Chris when she sent him an indecent photo over the weekend. Nikki has been taking a secret class, and she can already hear her best friend Kerstin's giggling reaction to the news. They bring back the news to cover a bear attack, a running joke Nikki has with her dad EJ, Taylor Swift at MetLife, and a quick review of The Morning Show. Nikki shares her Reddit Dump, and Chris brings one of his own. In The Final Thought, Nikki learns why guys say "OTR," and they give a nod to their favorite cereals. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  . Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Anya's Patreon: patreon.com/anyamarina Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Anya: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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or wherever you go to find your podcast. You don't need another podcast. You've got too many already. But if you're looking for one that actually changes something, a way to take control of the chaos and find meaning, well, then maybe the one you feed is for you. I'm Eric Zimmer, and I bring real conversations with real people to help you feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Chris Convey's here. Hey, guys. From The Courtney Show and from my heart. My boyfriend is here.

From the kitchen. From the what? The kitchen. Yeah, he was spotted at the kitchen earlier today. Yeah, big time. I just spotted him. Best known from. Five minutes ago in the kitchen about to blend a smoothie. And I looked at him and I go, what are you doing?

And he was like, do I have time? And I go, you got two minutes. So, yeah. But I really meant no and he read he read my yeahs and now you know what was up and then he put his little frozen blueberries back in the refrigerator because he was gonna make a healthy shake for himself so then he just cracked off half a kind bar and he came in here and then i looked at him and i go where are we gonna go for dinner and he just threw the kind bar on the floor

you've been making me laugh all weekend um anya and brian and uh noah are all here as well um but i anya reminded me earlier today because i told her to remind me to talk about it um today but i didn't think you were going to be here so i hope it's okay that i bring it up but you made me laugh really hard this weekend when i sent you sent you an indecent picture oh yeah do you remember yeah oh yeah

it was one of the best pictures I've ever seen I love that it was one of the best ones you've ever seen because I send I've sent probably hundreds at this point

in our relationship and they are his love language don't you agree you like they make you feel like I've never sent a picture

and gotten a response that I didn't cherish and that made me feel really good right Don't you agree? You, like, they make you feel, like, I've never sent a picture and gotten a response that I didn't cherish and that made me feel really good. Right. And you also feel really good when I take them and send them to you. Yeah, yeah, I love them. Yeah, so I sent a pic just because of some good lighting. And you're really good at it.

You're creative. Yeah. You're an artist. It's not just like, oh, this is happening. It's like, you've thought about it. There's angles that are- she's also a work of art interesting yes

yeah no she's like a goddess statue well this weekend I did catch some good lighting there was like a beam of light that was going across like when I stood in the mirror

naked I could see like a thin beam of light almost like you know when that Star Trek glasses guy like goes across what's it called Data?

what's his name that is like yeah data i don't know this i don't know his name either and that is the reference the black guy not yeah i don't see there's no color in space um it's the guy from reading rainbow lavar lavar burton yes okay so lavar's glasses level of beam that was going like an inch thick less than that was going across my boobs and then my lower stomach. And I just thought it looked cool. I don't know where it was even coming from. So then I just put it right through, just going right through my tits in the picture.

Like a sensor. Yeah, like it almost was being scanned for hot ass. Mission impossible. I sent it off to SeaWorld, but I didn't know why it would be so exciting to you. Then you go, what you said to me was, can I read

your response? It's tame. It was something about it combined. Jesus Christ, that's amazing. Clever and hot. Brilliant move. Making it look like you had tan lines. You are perfect. This is an all-timer it's amazing isn't that a nice response

you left out the end where he said this reminds me of LeVar Burton yeah he said reading rainbow I can go anywhere it's in a book

shout out to Eric Andre and Lance Reddick the late Lance Reddick and one of the best Eric Andre and Lance Reddick the late Lance Reddick one of the best Eric Andre scenes Nikki and I, we watched it together when Lance Reddick was a guest on the Eric Andre show he just shocked everybody by coming out

dressed like a slave I guess and chanting this I wish I was LeVar Burton it's the funniest clip on the internet I think it's so weird. It's so bold. He's like a real, he's like a great actor. So crazy.

Yeah, I love it when cool actors that are good at acting buy into something funny that somebody, that's as funny as Eric Andre was like, hey, we should do this. It's so nice. When I did Nikki and Sarah Live, we did this, we were doing a press junket. You know, whenever a celebrity has a movie to promote they sit up in a hotel room and then people come in all day you know access Hollywood uh ET and they come in extra and all these people boring people interview them no no offense to being a boring entertainment news reporter but it's kind of a boring job same

questions over and over and it's horrible like the celebrities hate it yeah they dread it they're all it's all day long and there's a lot of memes going around of Cillian Murphy just falling asleep in those and his eyes just drooping as he stares at these interviewers. So Sarah Schaefer and I decided for our show, Nikki and Sarah,

we had this opportunity to go for The Croods. The Croods was like an animated movie about cave people. Yeah. Emma Stone and Ryan Reynolds were in it. That's the only people I know because we interviewed them at their junket. So they're sitting in those little director's chairs together at this junket. And Sarah and I were like, how could we do something that's different than what most people are doing in there?

So we decided to do small talk where we just go, So, this fucking weather, you know, it's crazy. It's hot. And like, man. It's a, yeah. I don't even know what we said it's hot and like man it's a yeah I don't even know what we said we were just like long weekend

you know just we just called it small talk where it was kind of awkward Emma wasn't really buying it I don't think she really surprising I don't know if we explained it well enough

they weren't really having it the publicist probably they're exhausted it's terrible I don't put it on her because Emma's pretty great only because I've met her one time.

She saw Mary and my dog. I love the imitation. Is she a hundred? She goes, oh my God. Is she a hundred? And I've never gotten that out of my head. She's a great actor. She's a great,

have you seen her in The Croods? It's amazing. One of my favorite movies of all time. I dress up like The Croods every Halloween. I mean, isn't it crazy how much work went into the Croods and no one fucking cares about it or remembers it at all? No, there's Croods 2 came out recently. Yes, Croods 2.

Croods was like, this is, I don't know, this was like 12 years ago now. Corey Kaven and I had an inside joke about Croods. Yeah, a guy on our show. We pretended to love Croods. Yes, it was one of our first flirts. That's how you and I got on a text exchange together. That's true, yeah. Because Chris was working on the same show at the time,

and I got Corey to get me and Chris on a text message where we were pretending to love the Croods, and then that's how I got that 917 number that I behold so much. Oh, my God. You have it? He's looking it up. No, I don't think it goes off. Chris could look it up, but I just want to say that

Ryan Reynolds loved the bit so much and was so into it and I've always loved him ever since. In fact, when we were leaving, we were one of the last people to interview them. When we left after, you know, we hung out for a second and then they went off and did something, we were leaving the building and we got caught.

We were in an elevator, not caught in an elevator. I was hoping that it was going to get caught, just to have a good story. But we went on the elevator and Ryan Reynolds was in the elevator as we were exiting this junket and he did the joke with us again. He goes, God's muggy out today. And he continued the bit. It was so nice.

It was so cool. He seems like an all-timer. I mean, everything he's in, I'm just like, I'll buy Mint Mobile or whatever the fuck he's selling now. Have you ever read his tweets to Blake Lively about his kids and stuff?

No. He's so funny. It's so frustrating how funny he is. Yeah. But he was cool. But I do think Emma Stone's awesome,

not just from meeting her, but because Taylor Swift has a song about her that was just released on this last, what's it called you know re-release album she did where she did an extra song called when emma falls in love and it's all about emma stone and i was singing it to anya this weekend and um yeah why is that full version

i got goosebumps well i liked it because in one part i like that song because taylor says sometimes i sometimes i wish I was her. And it just proves that even Taylor Swift wishes she was someone else sometimes. She's a real girl. And I always wish that I was someone else, which is one of my most annoying things about my personality.

And it makes me feel better. So she wrote the song just to be like an ode to Emma Stone? She's so New York when she's in LA she won't lose herself and love the way that I did. She'll call you out. She'll put you

in your place. Another cool thing? When Emma falls in love I'm learning. What? Here's the Here's the Crutes?

Oh, wow. Oh, exciting. Did I click off of it? No, it's in my photos. It's whether or not you guys looked up names of characters from the Crudes in order to make the bit more accurate. One cool thing about Emma Stone, real quick. She's on a show with Nathan Fielder.

I know. I'm excited about that. Really? It's going to be really cool. I have no idea what it's going to be about. And that's exciting this is so cute this is our first text message

to each other March 15th 2013 so Brian it wasn't Croods names it was I took the Croods poster which is just a

it's like a a group of Croods like the faces of the Croods everyone knows a group of Croods yeah okay I see they're all funny it's a common phrase

I think they call it a croup. That's it. But yeah, and then I photoshopped all of our coworkers' faces into the Croods. So it looks like they're the stars of the Croods.

And I wrote back, I'm speechless. And you know what? I probably worked on that I'm speechless response with Anya for several hours of like, what's the perfect thing

to write back to this guy in a group text who I like? But I just want to get back to this guy in a group text that who I like, but I just want to get back to the text that I sent you the, the naked picture and your amazing response because the funniest thing in 10 years. Yeah.

Yeah. Fast forward 10 years to now I'm just shooting off pictures of my tits without thinking. William, William, William, William. And,

um, so then I go, I love that you love it. I said, the lighting was cool and I thought you needed to see it and he wrote back it's top five naked pics I've ever received

nice and I said that's such an honor I better have three of those five spots at least and he said really he goes really happy you made it into the top five

ah that made me laugh so hard that just like that's a like you should just be grateful you're in there and then I said

I legit LOL'd and then he wrote back I have he wrote back I have no real interest in examining it but I'm guessing you have all the top 10

so then he followed up with a nice sincere thing it was a genuinely perfect little exchange between me and my man it was adorable it was adorable

you know yeah I wouldn't be hurt if if there were genuinely perfect little exchange between me and my mind. It feels good to be nominated, you know? Yeah. I wouldn't be hurt if I wasn't in the top 10 at all, because I actually, I've seen some stuff. You've seen some stuff? Yeah. And there's some stuff I truly, I wouldn't want to compete with. I don't have the buns for that. I'm trying to get them. I'm going to Pilates now. Oh yeah. Nikki Pilates. I'm going to Pilates now oh yeah Nikki Pilates Nikki's like done Pilates a bunch

she's kind of perfect for it because she likes to torture herself a little bit yes and then she has like that one of those like beautiful minds that can power through something

and do like way more reps than a human should be able to and they're like sex machines like they're all they all look like sex dungeon

you're on the reformer yeah yes and um you're horny it is horny it's well it's it's so hard and I haven't talked about it yet because I know Kirsten listens to the podcast and I don't want her to get excited and I also don't want her to start laughing

because I talk about how much I struggle with it because Kirsten's a Pilates genius oh really and she does this Kirsten does this Pilates genius. Oh, really? And she does this, Kirsten does this thing where she like, is like, no, you'd be great at it. No, like, no, like, I think it's really cool. And so I'm struggling so much.

I don't want Kirsten to get excited because you know when you start something and someone's like, oh my God, you're doing the thing I love. Like if someone were to take a, if Kirsten were to take a comedy class, first of all, I'd be like, you better stop because you're too good you're gonna get amazing

but and I'm too competitive. You would sabotage her. Kirsten don't get excited. No I probably would. Did you hear I read this study and this made me feel so much better but there was some study that came out that girls there was some study they did where women were supposed to

recommend haircuts to other women and the prettier the girl the shorter the haircut they wanted them to get so it's confirmed it's such good it's so confirmed like short hair equals we know you're not as sexual of a threat to us and if you have longer hair you are more of a threat therefore let, let me make you uglier so I can compete. So it falls in line with kind of everything I'm talking about right now. Spoiler alert. Come see me on stage.

Shave your brows. I feel like no brows would be really good on you. I had that joke with, I said, I go, because when I said that I was going to get, I was going to get, not bangs. No, I said I was going gonna shave my head during coven i used to have a joke about it i never really used it um but whitney cummings was like do it you look amazing and i go oh i know who's my real friends are not you bitch you don't you want me to fail and not be competition but no she your defense your skull is sick and i the only reason i say that joke is because i do think that whitney would is was not sabotaging and she actually was like

trying to empower me and she but then i i said that i suggested for whitney i was like you should um you know what uh what was the what was the joke ago no it was um you know what you should the only you know what you should, the only, you know what you could totally pull off? Your eyelashes. Like literally pull them off your face. I don't think you should have them anymore. I think it'd be the greatest look for you.

And I was like, oh, you should try this thing where you contour like everywhere. It's called, it's like blackface, but it's like, I swear it's not. It's just contour everywhere.

I think you should wear that on Kimmel. Just girls sabotaging each other. It's, It was fun. What do you like about Pilates? It's over at some point. I'm not even joking. I like that there's no clock in the room. Here's what I do like about it.

You do an exercise and then it's over right away. You're not going circling back to a thing. You do it like once and then you move to the next thing you don't go back like there's only one thing i can even think of that i did twice like you just it keeps it's always changing up yeah and i also like um it's targeting muscles that i literally i'm not joking you i kirsten's laughing already i cannot i don't have these muscles they've never once worked ever there's no way for me to even engage them and it's um and when I get into a pose that's supposed to

be like this is how it's done it feels so foreign to me right it's not even close to what I think is a good form you know like at least sometimes when you get in good posture you go oh this is what it is I can kind of find it. I could never find these on my own, but I do feel like I will get there eventually. Oh, yeah.

At least that's the guarantee. I think you're going to be good at it. I, if you would talk to my instructor, I can kind of see they are like,

stay with it. Like maybe find a different instructor. They don't, they don't seem to to be excited about where I can go. No, really? That's good. That's good motivation for you. I don't know if it is because I kind of just trust them.

My voice teacher I like because he's the first voice teacher I've ever had who has said, oh, the things I can do with you and given me hope of where i can go right whereas i do want to hear that like there are things i do like because i've had like multiple personal trainers and physical therapists say that i have the weakest core they've ever seen i heard you say that on the radio show today and i was like oh my god we both do really weak core they. But then sometimes they're like, oh man, you're really good at that. And that's what I, when I hear that, I'm like, okay, I can, I'm going to get even better at that.

Yes. I love to hear something I'm exceptional at. And mine is having a very, I have very flexible joints. So all of my lower back is moving a lot. And my abs and my butt have done no work over the past 39 years they have been off the clock because my lower back can do everything it's very strong and so are my shoulders oh you do have very strong shoulders i do i can do the butterfly and not move any other part of my body besides comedy what else are you are you good like good at that people are like oh you're good at that

or there's something about you that's like oh this is a backbend i can go into a backbend anytime i was gonna say you did that on stage and that was so impressive go into a backbend and i can kind of almost hang into a backbend without touching my hands to the ground you can limbo i've seen that there's a photo of you from like a year and a half ago that's like extraordinary so that's a talent what about you guys does what's what's something that's like extraordinary. So that's a talent. What about you guys? What's something that you get complimented? Anya's voice.

I mean, she can reach higher notes than anyone I know. Well, that is good. And I agree with that. But what about something that isn't? Because that's part of her. Yeah, it's like not what you do. It's like what she does. Right. People are like, your calves are incredible.

I was walking in front of Nikki and David Spade. Or David Spade and his friends last night or whatever, two nights ago, and he's just like, hey, Anya, we're just looking at your Cavs. And I'm like, heard it a million times in my life. Figure skating Cavs. They're just like two little knots. It's a fun one.

Or deeply. Well, Spade has good Cavs too. He says it on stage. He goes, I got like carry-under wood calves. Not even my exact words. People just tell me that. So I think it takes one to know one. Yeah.

Brian, what about you? You got any exceptional things that you get complimented on a lot? Or like, wow, you're really good at this. I'm very good at gambling. Right. I have a friend's group now and a WhatsApp chat called Free Money. and all it is i put i put

bets in there and we just win every time i just have a system baby follows your system yeah this weekend was a little rough we had a little i went a little ham what's the phrase i went ham this weekend and what buck did you go i got too confident. I was so confident. I was like, everything I say is right. So then I started making bets that were not really wise and we kind of got like a 60% hit rate. So we still more or less were up. But like before that, before this weekend, I was literally

like six out of seven bets I was getting right every single time. Are we talking about all NFL? NFL's the Wild West right now. He'll bet on Belarusian women's basketball. I've been crushing it. It's called free money. If anybody wants to subscribe to my newsletter,

it's $16 a month. I really think I can make it. Did you do that? It's called free money because it's free money for Brian. I really believe I can make $1,000 a month gambling. Easy. That's good. If I had more money, I000 a month gambling. Easy. That's good. And if I had more money, I would be able

to make more. But I think I'm good at that. Let's make that happen, guys. Click like and subscribe. No, I have this thing with my friends where it's like, if my friend gives me $500, I'll just give him back $1,500 two months later. That's the

service I'm providing. Well, you've told me this before and I go, why don't you just not work anymore? Because if you could, but you just need more money. He did that. He started doing that two years ago. I've been not working full time for like three years. It reminds me of your best man speech guy. The guy that said, you're on strike from a job you don't even have.

Adam Steinman, shout out. By the way, that's over, which we could talk about if you want to. Oh, yeah, that's true. Well, we'll get to some headlines when we get back.

We're going to take a quick break and be right back after this with Chris, Brian, Noah, Anya, and Nikki. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more.

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Let's get to some recent headlines and just talk about what's going on. This is my way of keeping me on track and getting through some stuff. For the listeners. Right, instead of talking about morning show the whole time. Yes. Which we could do again.

We are going to get to it. Because there's been another episode. It should be the morning show minute where you just plow through the morning show. All right. And you don't do like. Here at UVA. Yeah. We should do a minute at the end of this.

Noah, will you set it so we have a timer for 60 seconds where we we will cover the morning show sure um but yes hear it in the nikki laser podcast we will talk about uba early on or later on um okay what's like the first headline we decided to talk about the first headline i just went in order of what you sent me two people are dead after a suspected grizzly bear attack in Canada's Banff National Park. Oh, fuck. I love the name of that park. And their dog. It's really sad and I'll tell you what's really sad is that now

they have to kill the grizzly. This is the dumbest thing about this whole thing. Why do they need to kill the grizzly? Then kill all of them because any grizzly would have killed these people. I think it's like that and I might be wrong. This might be like an old wives tale people. I think it's like that, and I might be wrong, this might be like an old wives tale thing. I think it's like

once they get the taste for blood and they know that, okay, these human beings are, we can eat these things, then they're like,

they spread the word. Yeah. They like go and yell. Well, that's what the orcas are doing right now. The orcas are on the attack. They've been sinking

boats left and right because one of them learned. They're playing, I heard. No, I heard they're playing and that because one of them learned. They're playing, I heard. No, I heard they're playing. And that's being misinterpreted. You're listening to Fox News for Orcas who said that. That's propaganda.

No, this grizzly bear attack is really sad. This is another, you know, reason for me not to go camping and stuff. I just don't understand why people would ever go in a place where you could be eaten by bears and not blaming the victims. But a little bit

like, what are you doing? Were they in the backcountry or were they in like a sanctioned campsite? I read on Reddit, some guy goes, I was just on this trail last week. So I think it's like kind of wilderness. But I'm sure Brian can also add to this.

There's something called a bear bag and people who go camping know that they have to take all their food and you don't store it next to you camping. You have to put it up in the tree. You have to put it inside a bear bag which is made of chain metal or something and you tie it up to a tree far, far away

from the camp. Right. I've watched Alone and we do that on there too man Alone is good yeah it is let's do an Alone 10 minutes at the end of this podcast

sometimes on Alone I'm like why are these guys smoking meat in their tent or in their shelter it's no one's been attacked

by a bear on there knock on wood knock on house knock on the door one woman house. Knock on the fort. One woman was. R.I.P. She kind of. She didn't.

She's dead but not from the bear. Oh my God. Really? And then she was so sweet. She felt so bad. She was the trans woman. She felt so bad that her violence came out. She like sprayed the bear with the bear spray and did the siren.

And then she felt so guilty that she scared the bear. That she cried and then i think excused herself from the show and left oh wow okay well that's that's sweet but um i'm sorry sorry to bring it down i'm terrified of bears i often have dreams about getting attacked by bears they run so fast there's just something so terrifying about something that they say if it starts charging you bye you're done like there's just something so terrifying about something that they say if it starts charging you bye you're done like there's no getting out of it once it's decided to attack you you're dead there's no fighting off a bear you can't win there's nowhere to go like i heard one one guy i met um on f boy island he was one of the crew members he had a chunk missing from his ankle and i go no one would ask him what happened to him and i go one day i go what happened we were i was

getting the vaccine i remember i go jesus christ what happened to your ankle it was like this huge scar and he goes attacked by a bear and i go what and i go everyone this guy was attacked by a bear and then he told the story and he went under a car and was able to wait it out and it just got his ankle but he he was under a car but you know you hear about these attacks and if they start charging you there's no like covering your neck

they're gonna kill you yeah there's a few like little like tricks and stuff and you can kind of go like you've seen videos you try to make yourself

look as big as possible sometimes you just don't back down there's different like for a black bear and a brown bear there's different hopefully with a black bear you should be able to scare it away it's like it like for a black bear and a brown bear there's different hopefully with

a black bear you should be able to scare it away it's like it's like black black bear don't care brown brown lay down white like good night yeah you're toast like because the polar bear is just brutal but but a brown bear i think you play dead and then a black bear you're like hey buddy just get out of here oh man this is really i, you have to have that memorized because it's charging at you and you're going black bear, don't care, but brown bear. Well, you should know when you go into the wilderness, whether or not it's going to be black or brown or polar bears. Right. Like where the black bears are generally, they're on brown bears. Brown are scary.

But haven't you seen, I mean, you're on Reddit. There's like a video a night of black bears just clowning, having fun, getting in people's pools. Hell yeah. That's true. Black bears can scare the shit out of you.

You can scare away a black bear. If you want to, you should just never run into a black bear because if you're hiking or something, you just got to be chatting with somebody. You can have a bear bell, which some people do where they put a little bell

on their knapsacks that it rings. Just so that the bears know that there's people around. The worst thing you can do is stumble upon a bear and surprise them, especially if they have their cubs around. Because then they might defensively attack. I got a bear story. So we're camping and

we're in the woods. It was a while ago. Who was she? My high school outdoor club. It's two guys. Oh, okay. Two guys that I love. A guy named Brian and Ryan. Okay.

Brian, Ryan, and Chris. We're all hanging out. We were all the president at one point of the outdoors club in our high school. But this is when I was a sophomore. So we were all... So one was a senior, one was a junior. I was a sophomore. We just went going like a quick camping trip on the weekend.

And it was overnight. We were having a good time. And on the way back, they were like, hey, you know, we're going through bear country. We need, you know, we need to bang pots and pans. So, like, you know, you're the youngest one. And it's New Year's Eve, too. Yeah. Yes.

It's all lined up. They like to party, too. So, that's how you attract them. So, they're like, so I'm banging pots and pans. Like, all day long, I'm banging pots and pans, right? And they're like, got to scare away the bear. And so, day long, I'm banging pots and pans, right? And he's like, they're like, gotta scare away the bear. And so like, we're telling jokes. So everybody's telling different jokes and then people are telling different stories.

And so as we're hiking, they're telling me this story. They're like, you know, there was like a, there was like a kid in the forest and he got lost. And, you know, he went in this long story. I mean, it was like 15 minutes long and they both had different parts. And he's like, and at the end, the camp counselor stood up and he said, there's no bears in Southern Illinois. And the whole joke was we were in Southern Illinois and they made me bang pots and pans for like all day. I got hazed.

Oh my God. I like that you followed it though, because usually you're kind of a renegade. And you're like, you know, they're not going to get me. Yeah, well, I was like having fun with it and all this stuff. But it was a really. That's a good joke. It was a long time. It was really.

It was pretty hilarious. Yeah, that's a positive prank. Yeah. Positive prank. That is a prank. Yeah. No one was harmed. Nobody was harmed.

Except all the bears that were decimated in Southern Illinois in the 1700s. Scared away. And I wouldn't have even gone on that hike because I'm so scared of bears. So I would have missed out on it. The prank would have ruined my chance of even having fun. I wasn't scared. I got the chance to read the article a little bit while you guys were all talking. Please tell us what happened.

The bear, they were in the backcountry. So it's like, and in BanF, I mean, that's Canada. That's southern Canada. But it's still the wilderness in the mountains of Canada, the Canadian Rockies. So there are grizzly bears out there. So if you go into the wilderness, into the backcountry, in the Canadian Rockies, you need to know what you're doing. And chances are they did know what they were doing. But what was startling about this interaction is that usually when a bear attacks a human,

they'll run away after that because they're scared. It was probably defensive. It was probably they stumbled upon the bear. The bear was like, oh, fuck, and then attacked. What's the word? Just reflexively.

Defensively. So they came back and took them all out. When the rangers came to search for the humans, the bear was still there with the corpses. Displaying aggressive behavior. Which means that the bear was... Rabid? It was preying on the people,

which is why they had to put it down. Oh, no. And Brian, correct me if I'm wrong, he did kill their dog too, right? I didn't read about the dog. I just blocked that stuff out. But they killed the bear. Who cares about a dog after two people have died? I'm sorry.

That added nothing to the story for me. Because the dog didn't ask to be there. I'm a vegan, but it didn't... The people brought the dog there. That's a good point. The people are the ones who made the choice to go into the backcountry. I'm not totally heartless, but I don't care about a dog when you've added on the dog after two people have been killed. It backcountry. I'm not totally heartless, but I don't care about a dog when you've added on the dog

after two people have been killed. Sure, sure. It's not like I'm like, I'm not happy. Yeah, it's interesting. But here's the interesting thing to me. What it says to me

is that that dog tried to protect them. Yeah. Because the dog could have gotten away from the bear. Just run away because he wasn't going

for the dog first. No. And pretty wild that all three of them died. You'd think like, okay, if the wife gets killed the husband would have a chance to escape or the dog i know why because they were defending each other because i think like if chris and i were on a hike and he starts getting mauled and i'm trying like trying to pull the bear off him the bear's gonna fucking swipe at me start chewing on my face and then chris is already injured, can't get away, and then

he's got two snacks waiting for him. Insane. So insane. Who called for help? Oh, someone called for help? They had a GPS system, so I think the victims seem to have called for help on their GPS. So they must have, they were prepared

if they had a GPS system, which that doesn't work on phones. You have to buy a specific Garmin GPS to bring with you into the backcountry for situations exactly like this. These probably were not novice hikers. They probably were like, we are going into the

backcountry, into grizzly territory, and we're going to camp. Nikki, if you're afraid of camping or whatever, it's like, you can avoid more or less situations where you could get attacked by a grizzly bear. Well, one time- Just go to Burning Man. Dad.

There's a guy named Grizzly Bear, but he's really nice. And he's just going to bore you with stories of past Burning Mans. One time my dad took my, we went all camping and there were some hillbillies also camping near us and we were young.

I think I was probably 10 and my dad took us to go to the bathroom at like a, it was like not camp, it was like campgrounds, you know, and he took us to go to the bathroom and we had to like walk past these Hoosiers who were like hanging out and like just like smoking and drinking and shooting things. And they were hooting and hollering and shooting BB guns in our direction, kind of like fucking with us as a family. And my dad brought us to go to the bathroom and one of the guys go,

bring those girls back when they were 18. And I just remember not really knowing what it meant, but my dad was really mad about it. But I was surprised that they cared that we should be legal. I think they would have just been like- Oh yeah, it's very respectful. I kind of was meant, but my dad was like really mad about it. But I was surprised that they cared that we should be legal. I think they would have just been like- Oh yeah, it's very respectful. I kind of like was like, oh my God.

But I remember when I turned 18, I remembered to make the joke, dad, we got to go back. No way. I swear to God. You're kidding me. I really, I've long- Because we talked about it as a family

probably every couple years of just that story. How old were you? 10. Oh my God. But I remembered like when I turned 18, I was like, you got to make that story. How old were you? 10. Oh my God. But I remembered like when I turned 18, I was like, you gotta make that joke. There's some really fun running jokes in my family that have paid off really well.

One time we were, my dad was just like tired of seeing this friends of ours got like engaged and they sent all these engagement photos of their like kids getting engaged and they just looked like they were like, oh, creation. They were like holding each other and just gazing, you know, these engagement photos of their like kids getting engaged and they just looked like they were like oh creation they were like holding each other and just gazing you know like engagement photos just disgusting my dad was just like no one wants to see this anymore it's so

annoying like look at all these they did a whole photo shoot it was like the beginning of when those kind of shoots started happening and i clipped out so my dad was so annoyed by i was talking about it like a lot for like a day or whatever and then it was Christmas break so like you know five days later was Christmas and oh no maybe we were eating pizza it was around that time but we were eating pizza and I made sure that the slice my dad was gonna

grab underneath the slice was a picture of those people and he grabbed it and these two like canoodling couples I cut out of the card and my dad was just like what the hell is this he just couldn't believe it and these two canoodling couples I cut out of the card and my dad was just like, what the hell is this? He just couldn't believe it and was laughing so hard. You're a positive prankster too.

You're positive pranks. Oh my god. Alright, next story. Okay, Taylor Swift steps out for dinner with Blake Lively, Sophie Turner and Brittany Mahomes in NYC. Yeah, that was happening on Friday night or Saturday night and then Sunday.

It was a star-studded event at MetLife Stadium for the Kansas City Chiefs versus the New York Jets. The Karma Singer was joined by Sophie Turner, Blake Lively, Robin Lively, I guess it's her sister, Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Sabrina Carpenter, and Anthony Parowski, along with Mahomes' wife. I don't know. Nikki Pod memes. Oh yeah, well, let's get to that in a second. Nikki Pod memes, which is the meme account that does

stuff, had a picture of, there's this picture going around where Sabrina Carpenter clearly doesn't understand what the fuck is going on in the game. Everyone else is cheering. And they put like, that's Nikki. That's Chris. Like they showed different people in the box and labeled them. And I was the one that didn't know what was going on.

But I'm starting to figure it out, I have to say. But I wanted to talk about this, not only because it's something we've talked about on the show already and it's Taylor Swift related. But Chris planted a seed last night when we were talking about this, or was it yesterday? And I'm fully on board that my girl, she getting paid. Taylor is making a profit from going to these games,

and I'm not saying that with any judgment or with any just like, ew, disgust or anything. I just think knowing what I know about my girl, she would never lend her image this much to something just out of support for a boyfriend or a guy she's newly dating. Unless there was something on the back end. Because my girl is not going to mess with the NFL unless they want to dance and they also are there. There is going to be a mutual,

she's getting something, they're getting something because they are relying way too much on her. We support women getting paid. Totally. Get paid, girl. But it just dawned on me when Chris said the NFL, you made the best point ever.

Can you share that point of why their relationship worked so well? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because like what group of people is Taylor Swift not getting? Yeah, who's the number one group of people that probably aren't Swifties? If you could target the biggest group of people in one arena, who would they be? Football players and football fans, I mean.

And then same with the reverse. And then who's the biggest group of people that you can collectively combine under one umbrella that don't like football? Swifties! How do we get them both to start liking each other's things? A relationship

That I think is genuine And the NFL Is pretty underhanded Like they're They're a corrupt organization Through and through They're It's filled with bad people

I liked your point About CTE You never hear about CTE anymore Did they cure it? In 20 years There's gonna be a documentary About how

The NFL has covered up CTE All the CTEs. We used to care. Is that like traumatic brain injury? That's the Will Smith movie. Yeah, it makes you go crazy. And guess who has a bunch of movies coming out? Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman.

Does Blake Lively? I think she does. Well, guess what else happened? During the game last night, which I watched and bet a lot of money on, there was a commercial for the Taylor Swift Eros Tour movie. And it was the first commercial of the first

commercial break right out of the game. Everything was Taylor Swift. She would never let them, not that they don't have to ask for permission totally for as much as they've been using, but it is so over the top i know that she is involved she would not allow this to happen and she and yes people have used her image before and gone overboard with it but she does not put her

then face on it too she goes okay well yeah you can make fun of me on snl or whatever i'm not gonna go on snl then like on that episode that you're you know like people could talk about her a lot but she's not gonna show up at the thing right yeah she's but this is not I'm gonna be very clear

I do not think their relationship is fake I actually think it's real and that this is all just happening to to be something that they go oh there's synergy here

within a you know we can make some money off of this too but I do think they're having some fun and you know what if it is fake

it doesn't Travis Kelsey is benefiting from this as well. He gained 900,000 followers on Instagram since three days ago. Wow. I started following him. He is gaining his popularity as well. It's the first football game

I have ever put on by myself in my life. Yeah, coming home and seeing Nikki watching football was one of the greatest delights. It's great for everybody. How have the ratings been for the Super Bowl over the last couple of years?

Have they been declining? Solid. Solid? Yeah, they're always solid. I'm sure they're declining compared to the 90s or something

when everybody watched TV, but like, no, they're solid. But yeah, that's just television ratings. If you combine like streaming and all the other stuff,

like, it is not something that is suffering i just realized you know how like this year's super bowl performance everyone's kind of like what usher she's not gonna do it no i know she's not gonna do it but if she's just there it'll be enough like you know what i mean like yeah it'll it'll well the chiefs have to make it plus Usher equals a J-Lo Shakira. Do you know what I mean? Like, it elevates everything a little bit more.

Here's what I'm thinking is that the NFL stands to gain so much the more Taylor Swift is at these, at these events. Oh my God. So the further the Chiefs go,

the better the Chiefs play, the more their money they're going to make. Put your money on the Chiefs. Aren't they incentivized to maybe make things go in Chiefs' favor? more money they're going to make. Aren't they incentivized to maybe make things go in Chiefs' favor? They only care about money.

They're a corrupt organization. I wouldn't bet against them doing something nefarious. Because when she shows up, I'm showing up. They made the Jets look good last night so that the game was more competitive. It was awesome.

I am enjoying football. I am enjoying it. Chris is taking me through. The thing I'm enjoying most is when on YouTube TV, if you happen to step away for, I don't know, an hour to watch the morning show, 52 minutes, whatever it is. Well, you take a couple breaks during it to talk about how bad it is with your person so an hour uh you think about eight minutes of that uh plus 52 and then um you come back to the game and they go do you want to watch the game all the best plays leading up to this moment and then you just sit and you just because that for me is what makes football a little tedious and confusing is all the waiting if you just give me play after play i can start like figuring it out yeah yeah i need to watch them back to back catching up through key

plays yes i i really think it's good for my learning those that youtube we have one minute just one oh sorry we have one minute before the break you want to do the morning show i'm sorry brian to cut you off yes we got to get to it it's time for the morning show minute all right here we go no you gotta go scoop morning show wait matt made a song to it you sent me an anya it's a little ball it's going around yellow ball that should get worst intro that should get put out there people should hear that okay here are my gripes with episode four of the morning show um there the budget on this seems to be a little tight why do we think that chris location shot yeah there's a bunch of shots that just look terrible like that look terrible that are coney island

john ham is elon musk and she's and jennifer date because she wants to show Jon Hamm is Elon Musk and she's and Jennifer Aniston's trying to show Jon Hamm I'm going to take you to space you took me to space time for me

to take you to space oh I missed that and what's that I was like why are we here it's going to be riding this crazy ride and then they go

on this ride together and then they're at Coney Island all day long all day do you think a lot elon musk and katie couric would ever go to coney island all day long katie couric 1992 we're talking katie couric 92 and also there was one hot moment where he kind of grabbed her by the

like the the he grabbed the loop of her jeans and kind of like moved her out of the way at the pinball machine that was hot have i thought about it a couple times since then maybe at one point during the show chris says to me you know what i like about john ham it's true what do you like he's never had a good body he's never you know he's like he's like a barrel he's like barrel chested yeah like even in mad men he was you know 10 years ago or whatever he he had like the body of like a barrel. He's barrel-chested. Even in Mad Men, he was 10 years ago or whatever, he had the body of a 50s good-looking guy, but not a guy who's worked hard at it. He's fine, but he's not...

He's not doing Pilates. He's not doing Pilates. Anya, what did you say to that before we go to break? Because I said to Anya the quote, I go, Chris just said... Who cares? He's a man with an elephant dick

and he has railed so many women. I just want to see him plow Aniston's character. Oh, she gonna get plowed. But the show is still dumb. We don't care about anyone. I don't know

what I'm supposed to be rooting for. I'm confused at who's the good guy, who's the bad guy. I don't care. Will I keep watching? Yes.

Are the characters great? No. Is the dialogue great? No. It's mediocre. Are the actors amazing? Of course they are. And that is why I will keep watching.

Are they CGI-ing Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston's face? It's most of the budget. That's why they had to go to Coney Island on that date. Are they blurry every time you look at them? Yes. But then you go to Margulies and it's like,

well, that's a woman. Yes. I just saw, yes. That is a beautiful age-appropriate woman. They moved all of their crow's feet over to Margulies. They took them all.

If I was Margulies, I'd be like, we can't not use them. We have them. I love, I'm a huge Margulies guy. I know, because you're a good wife guy.

I think maybe I should watch. Does anyone care about this lesbian subplot? No. I would love to hear. Unless we're anyone care about this lesbian subplot? No. I would love to hear. Unless we're seeing them scissor. No, thank you.

I want to see them make out and like get it on. Otherwise, no care. No care. I want to see Reese and post deep. Yeah. We got to go to break

and we're going to do Reddit dump when we get back. We covered a lot. I'm glad. I'm happy for us. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears it dump when we get back. We covered a lot. I'm glad. I'm happy for us. to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines.

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and my latest interview is with Mel Robbins. The theory is very simple. It is a mindset tool that instantly helps you identify what's in your control and what's not in your control. Renowned motivational speaker, best-selling author, Mel Robbins. Work has been seen as the number one cause of stress. How can the let them theory help? As you notice the stress come up, Jay,

you're simply going to say, let them. You have no idea right now how much time and energy is being wasted because of other people's behavior. It's like a death by a thousand cuts. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you asked two different people the same set of questions? Even if the questions are the same, podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Incredible guests. People like Courtney Cox, star of the infinitely beloved sitcom Friends.

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Seven questions, limitless answers. All right, we're back. it's time for reddit dump this is your reddit dump god you're digging deep i know that was like my mom you know when my mom you were smoking cigarettes that's i know there was something that was before my voice surgery so that shows you yeah okay i really liked this this is from um this just popped up for me on reddit but it was from a um the you know how on reddit babe like they'll just give you subreddits that you're not assigned to yeah babe i know okay well babe this is from my favorite murder which is a podcast obviously um and this was a post about um it says best episodes where karen discusses drinking and her reasons for sobriety and that's just the

title but it um it's a quote from karen kilgariff's uh memoir i guess that she's coming out with and she's so funny but she just wrote if someone out there is maybe thinking about quitting drinking or maybe has quit drinking and needs a little boost. This like quote really helped me. And I thought it was like pretty. You'll see. OK, she says. So this is from her book. If you love drinking because it feels like slowly slipping into a big, fun hot tub full of your funnest friends.

You're right. It definitely feels that way to you. You're floating along in the therapeutic waters of four beers before the big camp dance. Then I melt With You comes on and everyone goes crazy with teenage feelings. You're at the company Christmas party sneaking shots in your cubicle with the web designer you assumed hated you.

Now you realize he's deeply in love with you. I Melt With You comes on. Your cubicle goes crazy with teenage feelings. Warmth, weightlessness, relaxation. What is there not to love? It's just the thing about partying is that loss of control is one of the major fun factors. But the

older you get, the less charming that loss of control reads to the rest of the room. You don't really see it, since you're all glassy-eyed and half-deaf from seven Mai Tais. People will try to tell you, hey, you humiliated yourself at the bake-off and puked in my new Elantra. And you'll be all, shut up, Barry, you're such a drag.

Because it's very, very painful to admit that your party hot tub has turned freezing cold and people are getting out because you've begun to shit in the water painful and shameful better to attack good friends who care about you than admit you're swimming in a toilet of your own making I really liked that

because I think that when you there's always that moment before you quit drinking where you're realizing that you're embarrassing yourself. I think that's always what begins people's like skid to a bottom is like the embarrassment and just starting to realize how much of an embarrassment you are. And then there's the denial of it. And I was never someone though that was like, shut up. I was cool. I was always like, don't, please don't tell me about it.

I know. And I don't want to hear it i know and i don't want to hear you know what i mean um the people that don't get sober are the ones that don't have that gene like sonia from real housewives she has a daughter she is so drunk embarrassingly drunk when she gets drunk but they'll show her clips back of herself and she doesn't have the shame gene she's just like right yeah the shame you gotta have shame to be self-aware enough in order to change that shocks me when people just don't seem to be embarrassed it was kind of always the feeling i had about people on reality shows

because i always wanted to go on a reality show but when i drank i just knew i i knew i would get on a reality show and it would be good. I would be good on it. But I knew when I drank, it would be too embarrassing. I would do something and say something embarrassing. So I just knew I couldn't get on a reality show until I quit drinking, which didn't happen

until I was past the age for real world, which I think is 25. So I quit when I was 27. So I never got a chance to audition because I knew, I always knew that I was annoying. I think people need to have that more often. Right.

Well, maybe there are just alcoholics and then drinkers and not every drinker is an alcoholic are going to be one, you know, like fun drinkers surround themselves with other fun drinkers and they have fun and they don't have the same thing. People that are fun drinkers that behave abnormally and act like assholes. And when you tell them about it, they just don't even care that they've been humiliating.

And I don't understand what that kind of shamelessness is. And not hating yourself deeply for it. Or it's denial. Maybe they're incapable of feeling shame. It's also like one of the hardest things in the world to quit a substance. It's not like they want to do it. No, you're right. It's like almost, it's nearly, it's not impossible.

People do it all the time. Yeah. You've done it. My dad's, you know, a lot of people do it, but it's like, it's really hard. And it takes a rock bottom usually. Thank you for saying that. Because I think that people do just go, just stop doing it. And it's like, well, they would if they could.

Don't you think they would? And I saw this clip this weekend of this woman in a surf that gets like swept up in the waves. And the comment section was so disturbing because everyone's making fun of this woman. It was really funny because she just couldn't catch a break and the waves kept coming. And she wasn't in super harm. She actually literally caught all the breaks. She did. She,

she couldn't catch one from the comment section though because everyone was just so, there was one girl who came to her defense and was like, obviously this woman's really struggling

and you're all just having such a good time making fun of her in the comments and then everyone else, then the comments, I was one of the people having fun with it and laughing about it send it to chris because i'm like this is just so funny she keeps getting pummeled and she wasn't drowning so i wasn't really i didn't

feel that bad about it you're not going to hell i didn't feel like it i wouldn't have laughed if this woman was truly caught in an undertow and fearing for her life she was just kind of like sloppy like i keep trying to get up and it just wasn't working but then the comments went went from this one girl was like, obviously, you've never been in an undertow. And then all the comments were like, this woman's fat and deserves to die. She shouldn't be outside. She's so fat. She has no way. She can't even help herself.

It went. It was so ugly where I just wanted to chime in and go, well, it's not really an undertow. It's just a funny video of someone that like doesn't have good core strength kind of struggling and it's funny like could have been me or back could have been us could have been chris i always say it could have been chris and um the turn is so crazy brutal people turn so fast people hate fat people so much and i just have to say if you are privileged enough to not be a fat person and not struggle with your weight shut the fuck up you don't know what you're talking about and if you think that and even if you are privileged enough to not be a fat person and not struggle with your weight, shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about. And if you think that, and even if you have, and you're like, well, I got it together and I went to the gym, then you got lucky enough that you're a person that had the resilience and the people around you to support

you. I had no one to support me. Okay. Well, you had the type of brain that was like, I'm going to go to the gym. Some people don't have that. Some people really struggle with their weight. Some people are born just bigger bodied and like, and, and, or are molested when they're young and they have trauma and they, there's nothing to do with that trauma except eat because they don't want to do heroin. Drinking doesn't make them feel that buzzy, warm feeling inside like food does. So maybe they're just coping with something that you didn't have to get fucked with. So people who are just, I just read so much hate against fat people. People fucking hate fat people so much. And it makes me so mad. Well, I also don't think it's, it's not just that everybody hates fat people so much. It's still one of the only remaining groups of people that

you can make fun of openly. Yeah. Well, not to their face, obviously, but also ugly people. Ugly people also can get made fun of and discriminated against. And they suffer finding jobs. They suffer finding partners. They suffer having respect from just walking down the street. People don't look at them like ugly people. And yet, unlike fat people, ugly people don't get to call themselves ugly. They don't have a community of like, we're ugly. We're strong. People go, no, you're beautiful and deny them of their existence as an ugly person. So it's like fat people at least own the word fat.

And they're like, we're fat and there's fat rights. There's no ugly rights. I know a few people who are ugly and are openly embracing. They they they say i'm ugly i love it i'm disgusting and i think that is that's pretty cool that they're like yeah i'm ugly that's my thing i'm so ugly i can't do anything about it you know i think it's pretty yeah well i have a reddit clip that i i don't i don't know if you've ever seen, but it's really good. Oh, really? Am I allowed to do this? Okay, final thought. Yeah, play it.

Oh, is this the final thought? Usually Noah, you'll just send the audio maybe to Noah afterwards because it's better when she plays it through the computer. Gotcha. Okay. But what is it? I'm sure you've seen it, but it's that girl who is like crying and she goes, what does a DJ even do?

No. You haven't seen this? Oh, yeah, I've seen this. Oh, it's so good. Here we go. I'm going to play it for you here. What the fuck do DJs actually do? Oh So she's proving They do something Well no she The DJ is proving it

She's not doing it Oh She's complaining Like what do DJs do So someone took that And did that And so a DJ took that And turned it into a

I like that Yeah Wait for DJs The old switcheroo The old reversal card Oh I really like that I don't know how I missed that Taking back the night

She's taking back the night This was one I thought Was good for Anya It was from No Stupid Questions and it says when I go underwater why does water go in my ears but not in my vagina or butthole I just thought that would be a question you'd ask

no that seems like a question you'd ask does Val not remember the dead sea oh yeah the dead sea that's what I thought of you your ph balance anytime you think about water going into a pussy, you think Anya. I think of Anya. I think of your cavernous twat.

It's just like whenever Anya thinks about brags, she thinks about Brian. Oh my God. You know what we learned this weekend? Did you say brags or rags? Rags. Anya, I was just about to bring this up. I know what you're going to say. Incredible acronym otr oh over the radio no are we stupid we never knew what this meant do you guys do you know what otr is chris you know like on the on the reg

rag yeah on the rag you know it was on the rag? Somehow this missed me and Nikki completely. Oh, shit. Noah? This is a thing that guys say to each other about women, but women don't know. Oh, really? No, I've never heard it. I've never heard it either. I just figured it out.

Oh, you just guessed it. Okay. Yeah, I guess. That's cool. Spade and then a bunch of different guys from not just his friends, but different guys we were asking all weekend because we didn't know otr is something that men have said about women but women don't know about it until now it's not that clever it's not that clever but it's like it's like it's like a high school phrase

yeah it's like so why didn't you guys hook up was she otr yes was she OTR? And I was like, what's OTR? And it made me think of THO, which I think we all remember that. THO is, yeah, we love THO. Okay, so sorry, getting back to your question about water inside the vagina. What is it? So it says, the reason, why does water go in my ears but not

in my vagina or butthole? This is from No Stupid Questions. And someone said, your ears are open all the time so that you can hear. Your vagina and butthole only need to be open on quote unquote special occasions. So that's why. I thought that made sense. Yeah, if it like opens up.

It would be so cool if you could just like flood your butthole with water. Isn't that a colonic? What? Don't you think? Like if you were in the ocean and you just decide

I'm going to relax my sphincter and get a bunch of salt water give yourself an enema kind of yeah colonic yeah you could suck it up yeah i got one colonic in my life and it felt sexual i didn't like it she's like rubbing your stomach you're in a quiet room i just didn't like it and as someone who watches a lot of porn with anal stuff in it I have to say that there is a whole subgenre of colonic porn

there is a reason that it feels sexual it is a huge this whole podcast has taken a turn I'm sorry but it is a huge where did I go there

I'm not going anywhere I'm not going further in yeah but there are subsections on every single topic for porn I mean you can search for mean no this is a massive one no this is a big one that like you know when you're like into something and then all of a sudden

it just starts like spiral you find a whole world like it's like where you go whoa yeah yeah okay um ask reddit this is the last one all right and this is what i'm going to pose this to all of us this is a fun one it's it chris don't brace okay okay relax relax okay what's the best cereal of all time oh god that's one of the hardest questions i have mine um i will just read a few answers yeah I think like if you have to just call it today like what's my favorite or what is definitively the best cereal of all time

that's so that's the hardest question in the world but I'm going to think that I think I'm going to pick it for I want to know everyone's individual

best cereal and this is not something that don't pick one that you're like but I have to eat it for the rest of my life. So I want to pick one.

I don't get tired up. I'm talking about like, if you want to enjoy, this is like a last meal. If you want to enjoy yourself as much as possible with a bowl of cereal, what are you doing? Lucky charms. I would say that's in my top five. For sure. Lucky charms is up there. I'm letting the milk soak for at least 10 minutes.

I want like sogginess. You're a sogginess. I'm in between. Good song. I know yours, Nikki. Good character. Good box. Also unlucky charms.

It's got it all, really. And I really don't hate the amount. I think the amount of marshmallows to the amount of non-marshmallow pieces is kind of spot on. A lot of people want more marshmallows. You just have all marshmallows. I think you have a certain marshmallow. They keep you wanting more. Yes, absolutely.

And I think the green pots are my favorite, even though I don't really subscribe to candy tasting different based on a color. Some do, some don't. Someone said, though, I did see a picture of shark bites this weekend. And someone said the white ones were just the best. And they really were. They really are. I was wondering if it was maybe because they were rarer

that we like them more and are they really different? They're more dangerous. Oh, yeah. They totally were. Great white shark. Yeah, they were so good. God.

They were so good. They're that milky white and the rest were like clear. It was like boring and then you'd get that one white one. Why wouldn't they make all white ones?

Oops, all white sharks. That would be so good. Okay, let me just read some comments because some of these are funny. Someone said, Cinnamon Toast Crunch is literally the most fun

you can have without taking off your pants. Okay. I like that comment. Someone said, Fruity Pebbles, obviously. Yeah. Someone said,

Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs. One serving equals one box than a week of soft foods while my mouth heals. Yeah. Same with Cap'n Crunch. Cap'n Crunch, if Cap'n Crunch

didn't cut your mouth, it would be one of the best tasting things in America. Yeah. With the same with Cap'n Crunch. Cap'n Crunch, if Cap'n Crunch didn't cut your mouth, it would be, it would be one of the best tasting things in America. Yeah. With the crunch berries. It's too sharp. Oh God. It's so good with the crunch berries. I can't believe that this is showing up

in the Reddit thread as high as it is because this for me, I thought was like just a niche one. Honey Bunches of Oats, Vanilla Almond. Oh, yeah, people like that one. Oh myunches of Oats Vanilla Almond. Oh, yeah, people like that one.

Oh my God, it's so good. That's what made me fat in high school. Oh, really? I used to eat a box of cereal

every two days. It's gallivanting is healthy and it's not. Exactly. Yeah, and you're always seeking more of the ratio.

Like, you're like, I have to have another bowl because there weren't enough almonds in that bowl. And then you're like, I don't have any almonds in that bowl. I think I'm going to go lucky terms as well but because you chose that

i'm going to choose a different one and i'm going to go uh life oh god i love life i would i just love the consistency rice krispies i love rice krispies good so are cocoa krispies rice krispies are great but if i'm gonna have fun i think life and like the way it saturates. I like the way the milk is inside of the... You got to get the timing right on life. Holy fuck. Yeah.

My mouth is watering. Okay, let's go around the horn. What are you guys saying? Mine is Count Chocula. Grape nuts. Count Chocula? Count Chocula is so good. I don't even think

I can taste it. It's so good. It's the best chocolatey cereal with marshmallows. The best flavor with marshmallows added. Yeah. Oh my God. It sounds so good. I think we best chocolatey cereal with marshmallows. The best flavor. With marshmallows added? Yeah. Oh my god, it sounds so good. I think we should have cereal for dinner.

Yeah, I'm in. Breakfast for dinner? Nothing's better than breakfast for dinner. Oh, yeah. Cereal is kind of my dangerous food. Oh, really? Yeah, because you can just keep going and going. I like those individual servings. Oh, yeah. Boxes because it makes me stop. But I can't stop. You got some crispies. Quesadillas and cereal are the things I can't stop eating You got some crispies. Quesadillas and cereal

are the things I can't stop eating once I start. Okay, Brian, what are you going with? I think, I'm a Fruity Pebbles guy for sure, but I think if I was going to go with the greatest cereal of all time,

I think it would have to definitively be Cheerios because they were one of the OG cereals. Little babies can eat them. Probably the first cereal that we've all eaten first is Cheerios. It's weird to say Cheerios when Cheerios isn't even the best Cheerio amongst Cheerios. That's multigrain Cheerios. But when you're a baby, you can't eat multigrain or honey nut Cheerios.

There's something so wholesome about Cheerios. Cheerios, I think, is the number one cereal of all time, definitively. That doesn't mean it tastes the best or it's the best cereal or the one you take on your deathbed. But, I mean, maybe Corn Flakes is like the all-American cereal. I do love Cheerios. Cheerios has got to be number one. Cheerios is great. Okay, Cheerios.

I think you toss some sugar on there. Sprinkle a little of your own sugar. Yes. Put a little crack on it. Stevia for me. That's Cocoa Pebbles. Holy shit. You like Cocoa Pebbles more than Fruity Pebbles? We should do a whole

cereal episode. Yeah, I think Cocoa Pebbles for me over Fruity Pebbles. I would honestly mix the two. Cocoa Pebble milk is the best milk. It's even better than Lucky Charms milk. Oh my god, we live we are so lucky to live in a time that cereal exists. I just want to like

take a second to express gratitude for the fact that we, I just saw a clip of a girl that like grew up in Russia, no offense, Anya, but she did not taste a piece of, She had grape nuts

and posh good friends and that was it. Oh my, exactly. She had never tasted sugar or like a piece of candy until she was like 14. Oh my God. And she can't, like, can you imagine what that would taste like?

It's so fascinating to imagine. It'd probably be disgusting. It'd probably be like so saccharine. No, she loved it. On the flip side, can you even believe certain cereals exist? Like shredded wheat, whatever. Wait, wait, wait. Frosted mini wheats are great.

Wait, I think, I think. Flip them over. I'm sorry, Anya, let's get to yours. But like the shredded wheat. Wait, wait. Frosted mini-wheats are great. I think I... You flip them over. I'm sorry, Anya. Let's get to yours. But like the shredded wheat... No, let's go to you. Mine's Honey Nut Cheerios. Who cares?

Go to you. Really? Honey Nut Cheerios is delicious. It's great. The shredded wheat... The shredded wheat square that has the raisin inside. What the fuck were those? It's just one raisin.

Oh, no. It's like a pearl in an oyster. Uno raisin? No, do you guys know what I'm talking about? It had raisins inside the shredded little It was like frosted mini-wheats But it had a raisin inside instead It's like a bird in a cage

What's going on? I forget what it was but it was so freaking good Oh my god Raisin bran? Was it raisin bran? I'm getting so excited about cereals right now I want to give some Honorable mentions Frosted Flakes Crispix raisin band? I'm getting so excited about cereals right now. I want to give some honorable mentions. Frosted Flakes.

Frosted Flakes, honorable mention. Crispix. Crispix is an honorable mention. Forgot about Crispix. There was a cereal that came out when I was younger that was discontinued that was delicious. It was called Hidden Treasures. Maybe that's what I'm talking about. Hidden Treasures.

It was like a corn pocket that had little sugary fruit filling in and each one had hidden treasures. Oh, maybe that's what I'm talking about. Hidden treasures. It was like a corn pocket that had little sugary fruit filling and then each one had a different flavor. But they discontinued it, I think because it was like poison or something. But you can't get it anymore. I have a recommendation for people.

There's a cereal that's sold out sometimes. It's called Waffle Crisps. Oh. And it's extraordinary. If you're close to getting it, if you like cereal, go get yourself some Waffle Crisps. And it's extraordinary. If you're close to... If you like cereal, go get yourself some Waffle Crisps. They are extraordinary. Okay. I've never even heard of that one.

It's really good. Someone said any cereal that's except Smacks. No, Smacks is good. Smacks are okay. Golden Smacks. Kix work pretty good. I love Kix. And Corn Pops also good. I like a Shine. If you didn't have Cheerios when you were a little baby, that was your first cereal, then it was Kix.

Because Kix advertised to people, feed your baby Kix. Yes, yes. And don't Kix your baby. I have a side question. Okay, yes. Then we have to go. Best cereal, but what about best cereal mascot?

God, they were all so creepy. I think it's got to be the tiger. Yeah, he's confident. You trust him with your kids. And he's great. Yeah. Well said. All right, we got to go.

Guys, thank you so much for listening to the podcast. What a good one today. Chris, thank you for being here. I love you. I love you all. I'll see you tonight. In the kitchen. Yeah, yeah. We love you all. I'll see you tonight. In the kitchen. Yeah, yeah.

We know you're going to be in that kitchen. Chris Connolly from the kitchen. And we'll see you tomorrow. Love you all. And don't be kidding. And you're great. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast.

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