The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #396 Is Crispin Glover Hot? Escaping Twin Flames, Weird Phobias & Avoiding CTE

Episode Date: November 30, 2023

Nikki is reading a third of a new book called "Letting Go." She may need to use the techniques to calm her disdain for the cult leader on 'Escaping Twin Flames.' Taylor is nervous about getting sucked... too hard at the dentist, and Noa has a weird new phobia. Brian tries to give Nikki a new perspective on the end of the world and fills her in on Tim Dillon's Thanksgiving party. Remember to watch "Fboy Island" on the CW app. Nikki recaps a charity event she hosted where she witnessed someone get KO'd. This leads to a conversation about CTE in football that could be avoided with the help of funny helmets. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast  Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late-night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everything's working correctly. I know, it's so soothing. Let's get on with it. I'm going to do myself ASMR pretending to be you. All right. Now I'm going to cut your hair with this scissor. No. I'm going to eat a big bite of spaghetti.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Okay. Here's Anya in three, two, one. The Nikki Glaser Podcast. three two one the nikki glazer podcast here's nikki hello here i am it's the nikki glazer podcast welcome to the show i'm nikki glazer i'm here in st louis missouri um in my studio with taylor mcgrosh She's here. What's up, Tay? Hey, yo. What's up, Nick and Annie? Brian Frangie is here. He's in New York. Hey, yo. What's up, Nick? Hey, yo. And Noah is in Arizona.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Hi, Noah. Hello, Nicky. Oh, ASMR, baby. We like those. We like what's coming out of Noah's mic today. It was giving us ASMR before the show.
Starting point is 00:01:42 He was such a soothing voice. I never thought that about my voice. I always thought it was like gross. What? You should be like a crisis explainer. Or like when someone's family like blows up or something, you should be like, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Yeah, it's got Noah on there. I'm sorry. Your family. I thought you were told you should be like a Christ, like advocate or like spread the word of Christ. Yeah, you should be like a Christ Like advocate Or like spread the word of Christ Yeah you should be like an evangelist Sorry to tell you But where did he go?
Starting point is 00:02:14 Just rose? I would have put it past an ASMR video to Subtly insert messages from Christ In the video Oh for sure When you're asleep They wait until you're asleep and then they start talking about it.
Starting point is 00:02:27 So it goes in there. You, because you, Taylor, you listen to ASMR, right? Mm-hmm. And what do you listen to? I listen to Maria Gentle Whispering,
Starting point is 00:02:35 my idol. I like tapping on wooden balls. Yes, and I can't stop thinking about it. She came to my shows in I think Sacramento, I think. Oh my God,
Starting point is 00:02:43 I love her. She's a, she's. If you're listening Maria I love you is she Russian she's Russian yeah I like tapping on wooden balls
Starting point is 00:02:51 especially wooden balls tapping each other such as wooden grapes what do you like I know what you like well I've been very vocal about what I like
Starting point is 00:02:59 but I I don't like when they are intentional I like unintentional yes so I like it when it's like accidental I don't like people trying too intentional I like unintentional So I like it when it's like accidental I don't like people trying too hard
Starting point is 00:03:07 And that's my only thing That I can't get into Maria Gentle whispering Because most of her stuff is intentional ASMR And it's like it's meant to be like this But I feel like she's like Noah And she kind of talks that way anyway She probably does yeah Because sometimes a lot of times she doesn't whisper
Starting point is 00:03:23 It's kind of just soft-spoken. And she's explaining etiquette. Right. I've been listening to a book on tape to fall asleep recently. But I'm trying to hear the book and learn from it. It's called Letting Go by Dr. Hawkins. Stephen Hawking. No, it's Hawkins, I think.
Starting point is 00:03:43 But it's so good. And it's all about, it's like, no, it's Hawkins, I think. But it's so good. And it's all about, it's like manifest stuff. And it's also about letting go, which is like my biggest issue in all of my life is getting in my own way and not just relaxing and letting things happen the way they happen. But it's the book that I keep seeing everywhere. That's like, I saw it in the book subreddit of like books that
Starting point is 00:04:06 changed your life and then i like i think i download downloaded a sample at that time when i saw it like a year ago and then i saw it in the manifestation subreddit of like this is the book to follow to learn how to do this reddits you up in like hundreds someone the other day asked me for a recommendation of subreddits and i was like i can't even begin nowhere to begin i really don't know i try to narrow it down all the time to with your favorites yeah if i if i haven't looked at it in a while i try to delete oh yeah i get rid of ones a lot too because i just any pop culture when you follow it's like shows you the worst of society ever everyone hates everyone and no one's good enough and everyone's judgmental of everyone it's like people who like celebrities
Starting point is 00:04:44 are kind of the scum of the earth i think people who are obsessed yeah they really are the worst i'm like i'm one of them i love celebrity culture but go to pop pop uh it's like pop culture circle jerk that one's like that one's wild there's a take out their own insecurities on other oh my Oh my God. You would think that these people that are in movies are being upheld like they're the president or something. This is just Sidney Sweeney. She's just wearing a bikini in a movie and barely acting. Sidney Sweeney wearing a bikini.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Yeah. What do we expect of these people? But we... They're just... It's not fair expect of these people but we we they're just it's not fair but these people are so i just think they're the worst people in the world go look at any subreddit about uh celebrities and you'll see the worst people i did look at the eddie vetter subreddit that's because i was googling is eddie vetter hot because i couldn't determine on my own from watching videos what did you did deduce from Googling that? I liked his teeth, but early.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Did he fix on? He might have. I don't know, because I was looking up young Eddie Vedder. You know how I'm doing it, and I was looking up Rob Thomas videos. Rob Thomas? I saw some, and I was like, his teeth are kind of hot, but his hair, I don't.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Eddie Vedder's hot, I think. I couldn't decide. Do you know Jeff Tweedy from Wilco? Is he hot? I don't know what he better is hot, I think. I couldn't decide. Do you know Jeff Tweedy from Wilco? Is he hot? I don't know what he looks like. He's hot. Then probably. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Who's the hottest person that you can think of besides your boyfriend, obviously? My favorite are, I like Crispin Glover since grade zero. Wait, Crispin Glover? Doesn't he look like crispy? Doesn't he look like angular? Yes. Okay. He looks sharp. Oh, yeahin Glover? Doesn't he look like crispy? Doesn't he look like angular? Yes. He looks sharp. And his eyelids, don't his eyelids look like burn victims' eyelids?
Starting point is 00:06:32 Wait, hold on. I gotta look up Crispin Glover. Look up young Crispin Glover. Rob Thomas is a good one. Jeff Goldblum. Okay. I'm gonna forget someone really important and be really upset about it. That is a sharp man. Yeah, he's very sharp. No, you like this?
Starting point is 00:06:47 He looks elven. Not that there's anything wrong with it. That's good. He just was my first crush. Actually, Rick Murray. Vampiric. This guy? He doesn't look like he has any teeth.
Starting point is 00:06:57 Well, that's old. Not now. He's in plastic surgery. Why'd he do that? Why did he do it? Save it for Reddit, Nikki. I liked George McFly. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:04 That's really mean. I'm being mean. I'm being rude. See, you do it? Save it for Reddit, Nikki. I liked George McFly. Oh, yeah. That's really mean. I'm being mean. I'm being mean. See, you participate in it, too. It's fun. It's fun to make fun of these people. Commenting on their looks is good, but not their moral character. Like, let them be bad people.
Starting point is 00:07:15 What? What? I think we should make fun of just how they look and nothing that they do or say. Obviously, I said that. And just men. As a joke but no I should make fun of men not women if someone's fat or ugly you should just be able to yell at them
Starting point is 00:07:29 for it that's not what people are doing on their stuff and I don't think you should be able to do that that's not what I'm saying but it's just like I wish I could find people are just so hateful and so I just want to see people who write these things I want to I want to bully them.
Starting point is 00:07:45 I want to do the same thing to them. That's their problem. Chris McLover deserves it. I mean, how dare he go outside that sharp and not expect to be ridiculed? What if he walks by someone? That sharp-faced burn victim goes out in public and he dares be in movies? No, I just, well, I think crisp, maybe i was thinking burn because his eyes don't look like burn and by burn i mean like they have no eyelashes like that's what you're taught
Starting point is 00:08:11 opposite of mine okay so taught here's here's the thing i sound like such a bitch but i um i was only commenting on the fact that he was the hottest guy she's ever seen. Like she said he was the hottest. And so I'm just like, I'm poking holes in that. And he seems like a guy who's not listening to a podcast. And so I don't think it'll get to him. What if he's a huge bestie? Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:08:36 I would feel so bad. If he comments, please. No. What's he doing right now? Like what's he in? Do you know? You wouldn't even know if he knew. No. Wait, but in? Do you know? You wouldn't even know if he knew.
Starting point is 00:08:45 No. Wait, that doesn't make sense. You wouldn't even know if he was in the hottest movie right now or the hottest show, you wouldn't know about it. Probably pretty hot. It burned his eyebrows off. You don't. Do you guys know about Twin Flames? Have you watched Escaping Twin Flames? Mm-mm. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:09:01 You would love it, Taylor. It's this documentary on netflix about this fucking idiot who started i hate him so much i've never i've never hated him any i've never hated anyone more i don't think of any cult doc i've ever watched i didn't even want to watch this one but then i just chris and i were kind of like had nothing else to watch and so it's about these two just morons who aren't even smart or charismatic who created this thing called twin flames university and it's about people it's to help find help people find their twin flame and at the university yeah why is it university well sorry twin twin flames universe twin flames are
Starting point is 00:09:46 two people that are soul like soul it's another way of saying soulmate and it's helping you find your soulmate and this guy started a bunch of other cults beforehand that didn't really work and so you saw like the the framework for what he was trying to do with this and then he met this woman and him and she changed her name from megan to shillelagh or something shillelagh shillelagh so some it's shillelagh or john shillelagh she would yeah and they started a cult that is questionably a cult because but it probably is he but anyway all these people join and they're all just like sad women who want to find love and they join this thing and go to these seminars and go to these zoom meetings i mean these people were zooming
Starting point is 00:10:29 long before the pandemic they're on zoom meetings with this idiot named jeff and i hate this guy so much chris and i were watching it if you've watched twin flames escaping twin flames you know how revolting he is he has long hair He thinks he's Jesus. What's his name? Jeff Ayan. A-Y-A-N. I want to see a picture. And he thinks he looks like Baby Blue Starshine Wonder.
Starting point is 00:10:51 He has Baby Blue Starshine Wonder eyes. Baby Blue Starshine Wonder. If you've seen him, you know what I'm talking about. He has beautiful Baby Blue eyes.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Oh, yeah. Guys with eyes like that are not to be trusted. No, they always think they're so hot. I swear to God, he's not as charismatic as his face even looks. Like he's such a dude bro idiot.
Starting point is 00:11:11 He doesn't even speak eloquently. He's infiltrated my head. I can't even speak eloquently about how much I hate him. He just tells, he yells at people. He brags constantly about like, my wife, when I met her, she was sleeping on a mattress in a trailer park. And now she's, look at people. He brags constantly about like, my wife, when I met her, she was sleeping on a mattress in a trailer park. And now she's, look at her, she's decked to head to toe in Gucci.
Starting point is 00:11:30 Like, and these people- On a mattress? And he's telling his followers this. These followers that are spending all their money on his programs and then any, and then they start working for the company and any money they make in the company, he takes 50% and then they have to invest
Starting point is 00:11:41 the rest of what they make into getting coaching sessions to learn how to be better coaches, to people find their twin flames at one point everyone in the group is not finding a twin flame okay so so he decides they're all kind of like about ready to drop out because they're like all these sad women on zoom like well i'm not finding my twin flame and really like only two other people found twin flames and the whole thing are there men in the universe barely any so this is what they do they then change the rules which is by the way chris pointed out that this is every how every religion starts it's just two people that decide they want to fucking have power and they trick everyone into joining them and following them and then they start modifying the rules to fit their
Starting point is 00:12:23 agenda and they start this is what j fit their agenda. And they start, this is what Joseph Smith did in Mormonism. He wanted to fuck younger girls. So he was like, I just got a message from God that I, 13 is the age that we should have wives. And I just go, Oh my God,
Starting point is 00:12:35 God just talked to me last night. We're supposed to have more than one wife. Like he kept adding things, acting like he talked to God. I got the golden plates. You're a Book of Mormon. No, I haven't seen it. You didn't see Book of Mormon? Oh, well, I'm sorry I did talked to God. I got the golden plates. You're a Book of Mormon? No, I haven't seen it. You didn't see Book of Mormon?
Starting point is 00:12:47 Oh, well, I'm sorry I did that to you. I hate when people do that to me, but you should see Book of Mormon or at least listen to this. I totally should. I know it's like life-changing. It's the funniest musical that's ever been written and most musicals are not funny.
Starting point is 00:12:59 I know. So that's why I'm not that impressed by that. It's funny at all? Great. I'll watch it. It's the funniest poem I've ever read. And so then, so he realizes that like these people are going to leave.
Starting point is 00:13:12 And so then he decides like, okay, actually the only way you can find your twin flame is if they're in the twin flames universe. They have to be in our Facebook group, like in our universe, they have to be part of the program. And then he gets him and Shalala,
Starting point is 00:13:25 like do a meditation for like all night long and they decide that they have been he's let now a christ kind of prophet at this point and he's been given this message that he knows who everyone's twin flame is now and so then he just puts out a list and he and it's all of them and but they only have too many women so then they start making people they they go you you're now the man and you're the masculine energy and you need to transition you don't need to but you know what you need to do like you need to so two of them get top surgery they're not even it like forces people to become trans too many spoilers oh my god i'm sorry i i should have spoiler alert hold Hold on. We should put it in an insert. I'll put it in an insert. But I don't have to watch it.
Starting point is 00:14:06 You should have. I hate this guy so much. I've never hated anyone more in my life. What about. So I'm looking him up. Twin Flames Universe is still active. Most of these people have only dropped out in 2021 that are like talking shit on the show that are like coming out with it.
Starting point is 00:14:19 This idiot gave all of the hard drive with all of their videos. Every fucking Zoom meeting they ever did. Every like personal seminar they ever did. Any YouTube video they ever did. It's all in the hard drive with all of their videos every fucking zoom meeting they ever did every like personal seminar they ever did any youtube video they ever did it's all in this hard drive so the documentary has tons of footage which normally documentaries don't have so much footage of all their meetings and i look up this guy's on instagram they have a kid now which i think is just disgusting they're just they are they they they convince themselves that their child is the next is a um is almost like a prophet like they convince themselves that their child is the next is a um is almost like a prophet like they are and that their child will never have sex with anyone
Starting point is 00:14:50 it the child will only have sex with god and it's like it's a self-contained celestial being and that this daughter named grace luckily they lost that child because that girl i think she heard the plans going on and was like i'm out of here so that was an uptopic lost her she ran away yeah well they announced her pregnancy and then they they built a nursery and wrote amazing grace everywhere they kept talking about how our daughter's not gonna have sex with anyone she's gonna be a self-contained celestial sex being that only has sex with god i mean they're talking about this a pre like a girl in utero and so i think that baby was like i'm peacing out and so that baby went jumped to another womb to another so that soul was gone and i when i heard she lost
Starting point is 00:15:31 that baby i was like that's the luckiest fucking baby to ever duck out of whatever it's going to be born into but then she's pregnant then i go to their fucking instagram she has a baby now god god help that child this these two are such fucking nuts then okay the funniest part i'm so sorry for these spoilers but wait a second okay so then i'm on twin flames universe and i'm like i find jeff's like you know his account and he only has like seven thousand three to seven thousand followers not even after the show yeah he probably got half of them from the show i don't think anyone would follow him after the show you're such a fucking moron to ever fall for this and then to fall for it after the show you are one of the biggest morons on the planet like
Starting point is 00:16:12 i kind of hate you and i think that you deserve everything you got if you fall you don't deserve anything you're one of the dumbest people if you fall for twin flames universe you i'm so sorry for whatever happened to you to make you so fucking stupid. So you don't feel bad for the women who signed up for this because it's kind of like on them. Well, at the beginning maybe. Well, I do because I don't believe in free will and I believe they were born with dumb brains and bad parents and a bad situation that made them fall for this.
Starting point is 00:16:36 So I kind of feel bad for the situation that they were born into. But it is truly like you have to be the biggest idiot to fall for this. And one of the girls is a molecular scientist is truly like, you have to be the biggest idiot to fall for this. And the, like, it's, and one of the girls is a, like,
Starting point is 00:16:47 molecular scientist. So she's not an idiot. And she's even admitting, like, I don't know what happened to me. Just desperate, lonely. Just desperate for love.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Yeah. But this guy is, there's no charisma coming off of this guy. This guy is such an idiot. At least fall for a charismatic co-leader. I wanted to, I wrote a message to him and I wrote,
Starting point is 00:17:02 you are evil in all caps because I hate him so much. He's the worst person ever. And Chris was like, do not send him that. And I was like, I need him to know I hate him and I wrote you are evil in all caps because I hate him so much. He's the worst person ever. And Chris was like, do not send him that. And I was like, I need him to know I hate him. I need him. Did you do it? And Chris was like, please don't do that.
Starting point is 00:17:11 He's going to use it. He's going to use it. He's going to use it to like strengthen his hold over these people. He's going to say now the celebrities have like, or like he's going to use it in some way. This guy only uses everything. If you believe in manifesting, then he's going to take that and he's going to it in some way this guy only uses everything if you believe in manifesting then he's gonna take that and he's gonna try to manifest stuff against you he's gonna make sure you get a twin flame but it's gonna be from hell i didn't send it but let me just say i wanted to
Starting point is 00:17:34 i hate this guy more than i've literally ever hated anyone i he's up there with i don't even want to say who else but he's uh there's a book you should read called um letting go i know i'm trying to she just watched it i wonder if anyone i want to know if anyone else who watched the show hated him with his i just look at him he exudes evil he's gross he's disgusting he's a bad person he is so um materialistic all he talks about is oh Oh, and then. So I'll finish this up. Spoiler alert. His you see like the people in the group talking about their experience in it. And you see them like before they got in it and pictures of them like early on in the group.
Starting point is 00:18:15 And then you look at them now doing the documentary and they've all they're all at least 50 pounds heavier. Like it's like a huge they've a lot. I would say almost all of them. All the women have gained a significant amount of weight since they entered and chris made a joke while we were watching it he was like did twin flames universe like is did they like are they like a hot dog company too okay so he just said some joke like that because we started noticing like they all have gained a significant amount of weight in a short amount of time then cut to twin flames universe did start oh no he started another company called divine foods or some bullshit like that where it's god
Starting point is 00:18:58 god is god what god wants you to eat and he gets chef, Joey, to help him make all these foods. And it's all the most fattening. One of them is a hot dog and a wrap. And so we were laughing so hard because one of the divine foods was a hot dog. God's own penis. And everyone, this girl, and he makes you get the food plan and you have to make it yourself. And you are eating like a lumberjack every day. And so all these women gain a crazy amount of weight. Why do you think he wanted to do that? Because this is what men do in a lotjack every day. And so all these women gain a crazy amount of weight. Why do you think he wanted to do that?
Starting point is 00:19:26 Because this is what men do in a lot of times relationships. Because he wants to make them undesirable. They want you to get fat so they aren't desirable to anyone else and they're stuck with their twin flame. But then if they are undesirable and they don't get a twin flame, then they're likely to leave because they didn't get what they're going for. Well, if you make
Starting point is 00:19:42 someone vulnerable and feel unattractive and like make them gain a bunch of weight, they're gonna to have less self-esteem and they're going to stay. Yeah. It's how these people kind of think. Because I've had friends before whose boyfriends want to get them really fat. And I swear to God, it's because they make it like, oh, I'm attracted to women who are bigger. Which is a thing.
Starting point is 00:20:04 I'm not saying if you're bigger, no one's attracted to you. I'm just saying this is a thing that I've noticed from abusive boyfriends so that their partner will not leave them and will not be attractive to anyone else. In their mind, that's what they think. Or they make you lose weight, or
Starting point is 00:20:20 they're like, don't wear makeup, or you should wear baggy clothing. Right. And shapeless shift dress. You're just mine.'t wear makeup Or like, you should wear baggy clothing Right And like, shapeless shift dress Nikki, on the spot, who is hotter? Jeff from Twin Flames Or Crispin Glover? Don't you dare Crispin Glover is so much hotter
Starting point is 00:20:36 But Jeff is not a bad looking guy He looks like Frankie Muniz When he cuts his hair He's not a good looking guy Let me show you a picture of him And you tell hair okay he's not he's not a good looking guy he looks like let me show you a picture of him and you tell me if it's not baby blues there was a guy in our high school who we called baby blue starshine wonder because his eyes no that's not a good picture of him that's his wife though after i hate that's current oh god i hate him so much he looks like everyone in
Starting point is 00:20:59 the world frankie muniz looks kind he has kind eyes just because he has blue eyes i feel like he doesn't really look like no he looks exactly like frankie and one of the shots in the show you'll see he needs to this doesn't look like jeff to me that that picture yeah that didn't look like jeff to me that's not the jeff i know evil jesus vibes yeah jeff is evil jesus and he he compares himself to jesus he shows a picture of jesus he's like on these zooms with these poor people who are so bored of their fucking mind on these zooms and he's like look at this picture of jesus he shows a picture of jesus he's like on these zooms with these poor people who are so bored out their fucking mind on these zooms and he's like look at this picture of jesus tell me that's not me look at me and look he's this is baby blue stars he's the worst god his hair is always either long or kind of long and i just i hate him if you're watching jeff you're the worst
Starting point is 00:21:41 person in the world you're truly scum there's no redeeming for you you're the death you're so far from jesus you're the worst person stay out of my life is the devil stay off my tv i don't want to see any more about you that's the end okay let's go to break and come back and be more positive i'm gonna let it go i'm gonna let jeff go shalala get out get out of that shalala you're also terrible, but yeah, get out of there if you can. Save yourself. And Jeff, you know, it's not your fault. You were born with some fucking narcissist crazy parents.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Your brain is fucked, man. Your brain is different than people's. You didn't choose it. If I were you, I'd be a cult leader too, but you're a sick bitch. And we'll be back after this. I have compassion for him. I'm sorry, Jeff. Let it go.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Let it go. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show ears edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment
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Starting point is 00:23:06 Okay, we're back. I've escaped escaping twin flames. I'm not going to talk about it anymore. But Chris was really on me like do not write him. I think you should have. No. Maybe not your evil just like you're an idiot. He said I could talk about it on the podcast. He's probably the kind of guy who loves any kind of attention.
Starting point is 00:23:22 So the fact that he's getting your attention saying negative stuff is not going to i know if you say like i feel sorry for you that would be a narcissistic injury to him and i do feel sorry for him then say that because that would make him like man i feel actually maybe think i feel sorry for anyone who knows you i feel sorry like you're gonna it's gonna end really badly for you you're going to eventually push this until you do you're gonna get caught you're gonna end up in prison with keith ranieri you know how it's gonna go how he gets busted and how he loses most of his his spoiler alert how he people start dropping off is that he watches the keith ranieri doc the nixxiom
Starting point is 00:24:01 doc and he makes everyone in his in the fucking twin flames universe watch it and then he goes write a book report on why i'm not a cult leader after you watch this and do all your research and then they all do research and they're like we think you are and then he makes them go on a 24-hour zoom with him before they he breaks them down to make them think he's not it's really what an idiot what an insecure idiot just giving them the path to his own down and he wears the worst clothes too can you imagine where like following a cult leader who wears a shirt that has like a a hairbrush with an x through it like i don't brush my hair like a cartoon of my hair yeah don't care all right um taylor uh taylor's going to the dentist soon and she's scared no oh god don't talk to me about that i know well she's not having no no don't do this to her
Starting point is 00:24:55 taylor if you don't know is mostly scared of the sucky thing no the sucky thing is nothing wait all you have to do is just get sucked and then your fears will be over. Just let it happen. What's the fear of the sucky thing? Have you ever had the sucky thing? It's disgusting. Of course. You recognize that as an irrational fear, right?
Starting point is 00:25:16 It's not a fear. If it was a fear, it'd be irrational. It's just disgusting. I have a new thing that I'm disgusted by that's just disgusting. It makes me even hear a gag. I have a new thing that I'm disgusted by that's really odd. Ooh. That I wanted to share. Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:31 To make Taylor feel better. So the other day, I was asking Avi why some bald guys have a shiny head and some of them, it's like matte, right? Oh, no. I don't like this already.
Starting point is 00:25:44 This is going to be a new one for me wait why i mean dennis is gonna have a matte head now i was just curious like why some tops of heads look like shiny bowling balls and other guys can't get it even though like there's no hair it's not like it's just trimmed like all the way down yeah it's just like that yeah some of this yeah it's just like like flat and so we were talking about like different shaving techniques and i realized that i i can even like think about it right now to say it i cannot think of someone taking like a big plastic razor and shaving their hair like long hair i can't even stand it grosses me out so much well you don't shave your long hair you have to take a buzzer and buzz it so you have a buzz cut and then when
Starting point is 00:26:31 it's very short then you shave it like you're shaving but still you could you could i have with my thinking about even like taking a thing and shaving your eyebrow backwards. Wait, why are we... Okay, why is this disgusting me as well? By the way, sometimes when I'm in the shower, I will be holding my razor and done with my legs and I'll just move my hair out of the way
Starting point is 00:26:58 or something and I'm like, I got so close to just going like real quick. I get so close to scraping my own eye out with it i will not say what disgusts me but i'm also having those thoughts about hair and like i don't want to even go into it it's wetness plus hair is the thing i like wetness wetness and the hair combined like shaving and it's like trichotillomene not trichotillomene it's at them you know how you hate little holes what are they all when they're all together yeah it's called
Starting point is 00:27:37 connect four i don't know no no those those are symmetrical holes these are holes that are all different sizes like little like uh almost look like little eggs oh i forget what it's called phobia trypophobia my mom has it my sister has it i have it most people have it yeah so it's not a phobia well it's not but some people are totally also did you know that it was um invented in 2010 no one ever spoke of it and then it became viral on Facebook. Because it was used frequently for ads, for you to click on ads. Yes, they would do that all the time.
Starting point is 00:28:12 It attracted people's attention because there was some kind of disgust for it. Because it looks like rotting flesh and so it should be disgusting to us when you see a bunch of little holes. That's why I like planner works. Do you know what looks like rotting flesh? The stuff that is in whatever the sucker puts the stuff in the sucker takes the stuff and where does it go in a rotting flesh pit somewhere wait what no are you worried
Starting point is 00:28:36 about yeah it just goes into the sink and then it goes down and it's in the drain all together with the other why do you care about? That's what every drainage system is. I don't like the drain at all. And guess what? It all goes down to the sewer and then it goes to a water treatment plant, gets filtered, and then you wind up showering with that same water and brushing your teeth with that same water. That water that you're spitting that got sucked out of your mouth.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I'm serious. water that you're spitting that got sucked out of your mouth. Seriously. I don't know. I now know the way society works. It just went like... Taylor cleans my... straightens up for me and unpacks for me and yesterday you emptied my trash bins that have tampons
Starting point is 00:29:22 and band-aids. How do you handle that? I didn't see a band-aid. I don't touch the trash. I put it totally within the bag. And then you flip it. Got it. Jeff from Twin Flames takes a dump
Starting point is 00:29:38 in his toilet, flushes it, and that same water that he'd pooped in gets filtered through our sewage system. This is not good. And then you wind up putting it in your water glass. Brian, what do you just like everything or something? Come on.
Starting point is 00:29:52 No, I'm going to find out what you don't like. Brian has phobias. What's your phobias? My phobe? Yeah. Give me a minute to think about it. You have so many phobes. My phobes are air shows planes
Starting point is 00:30:06 flying too close to each other okay when they're in seatbelts buses and when a truck drives under one of them bridges yes yes and big buses and people not wearing seatbelts and them because they bounce around and kill your body no no i don't mind that bus because i'm not going on a bus but if i was on a bus i would be worried about bus when in mexico and you wanted everyone else to wear that he wants everyone else to wear the seatbelt yeah don't because she doesn't want our bodies i almost started crying well that's my well that's my new thing for it because chris will go i don't care about dying from flying out of my seat i'm like well okay you care about you don't care about yourself then what then it will hurt me so now do it for me or you're gonna have to be sad when he dies what about that one um he does yeah he doesn't seem to think about that i'm always like
Starting point is 00:30:54 if you die everyone you love who you are protecting all the time you're yeah we're gonna be all so sad um and it's so embarrassing i'm like if you die from flying out of a car because you weren't wearing your seat belt no like it's it's like almost like dying of lung cancer when you smoked your whole life like people are sad but they're kind of like well do we not see this coming like it's an embarrassing wear your fucking seat belt it's so crazy that people don't do it like to look cool he just doesn't yeah what is it i don't know look cool, he just doesn't think to. What is it? Lazy? I don't know. He just doesn't think to. I don't wear it if I'm going three blocks
Starting point is 00:31:29 because mine's hard to get to. Well, that makes sense. Three blocks, it makes sense. Because you're not going to get in a high-speed crash three blocks from your house. But someone might be high-speed crashing into you. You don't know if there's a dragster. That's what they always say in class. They say, it doesn't matter if you're a good driver
Starting point is 00:31:45 You gotta watch out for all the other drivers Yes, okay so what's your phobe? Did you have time to think of it? Gigantic pine cones in Culver City That will fall on you I've said this on the podcast before But Culver City has these monstrous Grenade like pine cones
Starting point is 00:32:01 I've seen them fall onto Cars and dent their hoods and i just don't understand why it would kill you instantly then i don't understand why any because it's rare to get hit by a pinecone i look at the statistics it's very rare you googled it like crispin glover i googled it like crispin why is he hot there's some a tree in austral Australia That has gigantic pine cones also And that does kill like a few people every year If they sit under it But also falling tree branches and stuff like that
Starting point is 00:32:31 Can kill you too So it's not just the pine cones When you're camping or something You always gotta look up at the trees Before you set your tent down Because if there's any sort of damage That tree branch could fall on your tent overnight And kill you
Starting point is 00:32:41 And I actually have a friend who died Not a friend but a guy I knew Who died because a tree fell on him and his family i was looking at brain aneurysms the other night or i guess i came across the thing about it forget about that i don't care about it i'm so lucky i'm not worried about it because it's you can't do fucking anything i hope i go and i don't want to die in that way but i hope if i do go away it's a similar way of that where it's like you i know someone's gonna write and be like i've had a brain injury and they hurt a lot but like
Starting point is 00:33:09 i feel like it's pretty quick and i know that we're all if you survive it that's your worst nightmare isn't it then you know you you have you're mentally incapacitated in some way oh god no no no me no no no yeah i think that's what Luke Perry died from. I wouldn't mind a break. I'll tell you that. It's not a break. It's just an insane amount of extra work. Yeah, no, no, no. It would be horrible. You could have an aneurysm. You won't be able to use your left arm forever. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Well, the other night, oh, my God, I was on my balcony. And I live on a very high floor up Like you would not No one would survive a fall from the floor I'm on It's like above How many floors do you think is like Death zone? Probably six Three?
Starting point is 00:33:56 It could be like three Or you could be freak surviving 15 My dad fell off a roof A four story roof and survived Wow Did he break his back yeah i mean but he he survived he was i think 16 or something but um i think it was four stories i gotta get that story straight before he dies because it'll be sad for me to not be able to retell it but um i think three stories let me say three so anyway um father
Starting point is 00:34:21 knight i was out on my balcony taking in the scene and i bent over to like pick up something and i was holding a water bottle that didn't have a cap on it and so the water came pouring out of the water bottle but i couldn't see it i just heard it and it sounded like a rodent or something like the splash sounded like a and it startled me in a way that i like kind of stepped in a way not even close to like falling off but like a more water or if it would have been hot or something like i would have reacted in a way that i would have like could have tumbled and like fallen over the like it was so it was one of those moments where i was just like i could have fucking died if you know just a freak accident there's like things happen
Starting point is 00:35:05 that would have been called a suicide too because there's no no one would have understood no one would be able to suss that together based on the water falling here it must have been it would have been dry by then right yeah i promise you i will not kill myself without leaving a note yeah okay so if I don't leave a note, I am definitely murdered or it was an accident. Okay. Because that is just insane to not leave a note. You got to leave it.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Yeah. It's probably Jeff. It was probably. Oh my God. Jeff. After what I've just said about him, he's coming after me. That guy's scary.
Starting point is 00:35:38 He has guns. I know it. Um, but yeah, I, so can I say something about the sucky thing? Please. Potential solution.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Yeah. You might be able to get away with telling the dentist to just put cotton in your mouth, like swabs in your mouth to absorb the saliva. The whole point of the sucky thing is just to get rid of liquid when they're working on you. So they might be able to just absorb it because they've done that to me before. You should tell them the sucky thing. You a phobia of it you guys isn't biting every time yeah i didn't want to bite yeah cotton is a thing you guys don't like either but it could go in the side tell me that's every time you've gone under your tongue yeah every time i go to the dentist or
Starting point is 00:36:23 anywhere because i have oc, it's really annoying. So I always have to have all these like, I'm so particular. Sorry, I couldn't do something at the chiropractor yesterday. Because everything has to be symmetrical. They put these things on, they kind of electrocute you to like relax your muscles, but your face has to be down. And then when they put them on, sometimes they're a little off. And then I just sit there tense as hell the whole time.
Starting point is 00:36:44 So I'm not relaxing. Because they're a little off and then i just sit there tense as hell the whole time so i'm not relaxing because they're not symmetrical yeah so but when i tell people like can i just not do that then they just get so weird and like why why and then i have to be like because i'm mentally ill and then they act like i'm care they act like i'm so good like they act like you're trying to be like uh just i'm different yeah i'm special yeah what are you monk yeah i feel like i'm fresh i think just say i have ocd and i think that medical professionals have to kind of honor that and if they do think you're good isn't it better than them thinking sometimes they do something like they'll go oh come on and do it more like as a joke oh god or that happens pretty or they'll just be like
Starting point is 00:37:27 nah i'm a nice dentist or whatever i'm like it's not about it's it makes me i'm gonna be gagging yeah they don't understand it's like yeah i bet people do that to you all the time because ocd generally seems like such small things to anyone else like oh what am i this this light if i do this a bunch it's gonna bother you and people are like no um or like yeah it really is fascinating how there are certain afflictions that people take seriously and certain ones that don't like with the light flashing thing if you had epilepsy and you said i have epilepsy yeah then they'd be like oh i'll turn off all the lights but if you say i have ocd and you do the same exact thing. You're weird. Or if you have electromagnetic hypersensitivities
Starting point is 00:38:07 or something like that. Basically, if it's mental, if it's considered mental, it is not respected. And if it's considered physical, biological, all you have to do is vomit and seize and then they'll respect your condition. The other night I was feeling like
Starting point is 00:38:22 just my head felt like a balloon. Like it felt like attached to my head and it was just like i just couldn't think and i was just like i felt like i man this should be physically showing up on me in some way like i wish i was like chris will you will you feel my head and see if it's hot he was like it's not i was like god fucking damn it like because there's no i wanted to get out of something and i just really wanted sorry i have balloon head i can't come yeah i wanted some kind of symptom i wanted to i wanted to be hot i wanted to be have sniffles i wanted some kind of cough so that someone will justify it and so that it doesn't seem like i'm just crazy i just say i have cramps or i don't feel good when it's really like
Starting point is 00:39:02 something is asymmetrical in my clothing oh no wait really like what do you mean it's symmetrical in your clothing like you can't go out because like your jeans will be very overwhelmed by something like I'll tell you an example the other day um I was making my bed and putting the duvet in the duvet cover but the duvet cover is too big plus it's linen so it had like the hangy ball sack of skin hanging and it wouldn't get symmetrical and I just flipped out it was like crying hyperventilating and going the ball skin my boyfriend was like oh my god and I had like a moment of clarity where I was like seriously this is absurd and then like i touched something with one foot harder than the other so i had to correct it then i just like i got in the shower which i also hate but everything like was better because i had the realization of how ridiculous
Starting point is 00:39:53 the ball skin letting go the shower made it better thing might help you yeah the shower made it better because i don't like showers so it was kind of like an exposure, but also I was going to wash off the balls. Oh my God, Taylor. That's Larry David's solution. He said that in a New York Times article. If you're having a problem, try taking a shower. Have you taken a shower? And then usually your problem goes away.
Starting point is 00:40:18 Or it seems less bad. My showers are only like 90 seconds long. Me too. You gotta take longer luxurious showers that would make a you know a third world country weep that's why i always feel bad in them because i always end up thinking about those third world countries and how lucky i am and how privileged i am and um yeah i can't relax but you have to think about it in terms of well okay so here's something to make you feel better about the water and so like for example this year in california we had too much water because of all the rain
Starting point is 00:40:49 too much water uh so so much water that we couldn't it was coming down so fast that we couldn't fill up our reservoirs with it because we just go drain into the ocean and it'd be nice if we had better mechanisms for collecting the water blah blah blah but during that time it was basically like if you didn't use the water, it would just drain into the ocean. So it wasn't like you're wasting water. It was just like, use it or lose it. And that can sometimes happen.
Starting point is 00:41:14 In America, when it's not a drought, when we're not in a mega drought, frequently we have excess water, and if it's a rainy season, and you just gotta use it, or else it goes into the ocean. Our real problem is that we don't have enough methods for collecting the rainwater that's falling the sucker could help we got too much water if you get a huge sucker buckets yeah you need a sucker sucker when is when are we gonna start feeling when is it all gonna end where we're like
Starting point is 00:41:41 we have no water and well it already it was it's like it's cyclic it was basically we were in a mega drought and we didn't have any water and if you did take luxurious long showers then then you're an asshole because lake mead was quickly depleting and then people aren't gonna have enough water to drink and then we have to stop the water coming down and then mexico wouldn't get any water because colorado river goes all the way down to the rio grande and down that's where mexico gets their water too did you know that stressed out watching football games when they're on tv because i just can't stand i think a phobia of mine is huge groups of people and i think about all the underwear they're wearing and all the like cups they're using and all like the dumb
Starting point is 00:42:20 face paint that they have on or like the dumb jersey they bought just for that day and i just think of it in a landfill and i think of that one stadium has just created a giant all of no one's going to be wearing anything they're wearing that day within like two years so within two years everything that is being worn in that stadium will be in a pile and it stresses me the fuck same with malls like or cruise ships oh my god ships they just collect create waste and they literally just dump it into the ocean there's a documentary about that christmas decorations just i see it all just like in a landfill and it just like even in this room i see a bunch of landfill shit and i'm like it's filled with like forever 21 or whatever is the new thing now.
Starting point is 00:43:08 So many clothes of bad, ugly fashion. The human race is a disease upon this earth that only knows how to consume. Right. Yeah. But what are we going to do? What can you do about it? You just have a good time. You don't do anything about it. You can't even find your reusable bags you like anymore.
Starting point is 00:43:25 No, you can't. That would be great, but you have to buy new ones of those. This is why you got to become a Republican. I know. They're doing the right thing. Do you want to have a good time or not? You're going to die anyway. It's such a good point.
Starting point is 00:43:39 Just fuck all this shit. Who cares? Well, you want to be compassionate while you're here a little bit. Who gives a shit about anybody? I know. They're kind of living the right way. Just greedy, greedy. You know we're doing enough.
Starting point is 00:43:51 We are doing enough. And it's like we're not going to go and club baby seals and we do want to support the environment or whatever. But we are clubbing baby seals. The way we eat, we're constantly clubbing poor animals that we would never In a million years Do with our bare hands But we let someone else Do it for us And put it on a plate And then we eat
Starting point is 00:44:08 I don't know exactly Clubbing baby seals Well I mean You club animals All the Animals are being clubbed And mistreated So you're a vegan
Starting point is 00:44:16 So you deserve the right To not give a shit about Climate change Yeah that's what I'm saying If you do one thing Then you can Relax But it's really It's not about what you do I'm not talking about What you do i'm saying if you do one thing then you can yeah then you don't relax anything really it's really it's not about what you do it's i'm not talking about what you do i'm saying
Starting point is 00:44:29 donate to all the charities become a vegan support uh climate change research it's your mentality change your mentality to just not to not care and have a good time so when you do things like take a shower it's just like whatever i've changed my mentality to no news oh yeah i'm not reading my dad tried to tell me about some shit about people somewhere trying to survive and what they're doing to get water and food and it was so fucking depressing the other night when my sister was tossing a salad we were all in the kitchen my dad like telling us what he heard on the news and we were like ej why would you share that we can't do anything about it right now. What are we supposed to do?
Starting point is 00:45:08 And so we just told him to shut up. And I said, Dad, I can't handle bad news. And my dad was, then he sends me articles that we really can turn things around with climate change. There's still time, which there's fucking not. And I think we all know it. Well, we can't turn things around, but we're not going to necessarily end the planet if we do things now yeah that's true it's but why are you suffering like your take you're you're worrying about your showers and there's all these boomers in florida who they're not worried about their because everyone has to do their part and and i can i can feel i just because i i feel better caring about other people And being globally conscious
Starting point is 00:45:46 Sure sometimes I'm just saying The onus is on you to care for everybody Constantly so I'm not Yeah Yeah zevia cans actually Cans are better than Plastic we're not gonna also we're Not gonna be able to do anything
Starting point is 00:46:02 Like even if you recycle every Can you've ever had, those are just going to get thrown in the landfill anyway because China doesn't want our recyclables anymore. We're not going to be able to make any real change. Forrest, for his birthday the other night, he's obsessed with construction. His favorite book is about concrete mixers.
Starting point is 00:46:20 He just loves any kind of construction thing, so he got a recycling truck the other night. He came up to us. He was messing around with stuff. And he undid all this tape. It was double-sided tape. And he just undid a bunch of it and swirled it in his hands. And then came up to his mom and was just like, look.
Starting point is 00:46:36 And she was like, wow, look at what you did. He just wasted a whole roll of tape, right? And so we're like, wow, look at that. And we go, put it in your recycling truck. Go recycle it. And so then he goes and puts it in. And I go, and then it's going to go to the landfill. I go, does that recycling truck just goes to the landfill, right?
Starting point is 00:46:51 Like they all do. And they're like, yes, of course it does. But he couldn't get it off his hands. He was freaking out because it was double-sided. And he was just like, I can't get it off. Babies are so stupid. He's going to be in Twin Flames universe any day now. Oh, he's so desirable, though. Everyone will love him. Look at his flame. He's going to be in Twin Flames universe any day now. Oh, he's so desirable.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Everyone will love him. He's such a little Twin Flame. I know. All right. We'll be back after this. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment
Starting point is 00:47:24 to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now plus you'll get special content just for podcast listeners like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. just like hit pause that's so good yes okay it really helps um so the last one that i watched was the one where they reveal if they're an f boy or a nice guy yeah which everyone goes why would you do that but when are you gonna watch i i don't have it you're gonna send it to me oh yeah okay that's right it's so easy it's free on the cw app it's so easy it's on now? F Boy Island? Regular on? Yeah. The new one? No, F Girl is coming up. F Boy is right now. You're watching it again?
Starting point is 00:48:29 No. F Boy Island Season 3 is new. Yes. It started airing recently. Taylor is a microcosm of America. Yeah. Wait, what? It's a new one? No, I already saw it. And where can you find it? I'm 65 year old. What's the CW? I don't have it.
Starting point is 00:48:45 Wherever we can find it, I don't have it. If you have Roku, like if you have like a smart TV, do you have a smart TV? What? I've done the phone. You think it was smart TV? I don't even have a TV. If you have a Roku and an account on Hotmail, you can subscribe
Starting point is 00:49:01 to the email list that gives you a link. It gives you a PDF with instructions On how to watch F4 That you can log on to And it plays Check my MySpace Check the third blog from October If you happen to get the CW
Starting point is 00:49:17 You can watch the first two seasons too It's all there What am I going to put that app on? She doesn't know where to put an app on There's a man behind the 7-Eleven Who has a bunch of DVDs it's all there what am I gonna put that app on yeah she doesn't know where to put an app on put it on Colin's phone okay there's a man behind the 7-Eleven who has a bunch of DVDs
Starting point is 00:49:29 yeah that's pretty much the only way that's the answer I'm looking for you can watch F apparently anyway no okay so anyway so it was so fun
Starting point is 00:49:37 because so Avi doesn't watch it with me but he came into the living room he ate his dinner and it was the part where they were revealing if they're F boy or a nice guy. So every time they would come up, I would pause and I would be like, okay, do you think he's an F boy or a nice guy? And he's like, well, I have to hear him talk a little bit.
Starting point is 00:49:56 So I only gave him a little because sometimes they say it right away. And it was so fun. And he got them mostly right, but he didn't get Mercedes right, which I was like, are you serious? Mercedes is the most deceptive of them all. He's so deceptive. Mercedes is a mastermind. Wait, there's another Mercedes?
Starting point is 00:50:12 No, Mercedes is back. Yeah. No. And everyone's like, you were an F boy last time. But he did stay with Louise. For how long? Yeah. And he split the money.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Split the money. I don't know. That was shocking. They were broken up within like a month, though, because we looked it up. Yes. He did stay with Louise for how long? He split the money. He split the money. I don't know. That was shocking. They were broken up within like a month though because we looked it up. Yes. They were broken up pretty quickly.
Starting point is 00:50:30 Maybe not a month, but it was pretty quickly. So he's still F boy, I think. Interesting. Benedict also is there. Twist. Benedict is there too. Benedict, my boy.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Benny is my favorite. Wait, why is he your boy? I just love boy. Indiana, first of all. Oh, that's right. Colts fan, second of all. H He's my favorite. Wait, why is he your boy? I just love boy Indiana, first of all. Colts fan, second of all. Hottest guy on the show, third of all. I love Benny. Benny did have a glow up
Starting point is 00:50:54 this season, for sure. He came back 0% body fat. Yeah. And he's a good guy. I don't know if he's a nice guy or an F-boy. I think he is a nice guy. But he's a good guy. He's a good guy. I don't know if he's a nice guy or an F-boy. I think he is a nice guy. But he's a good guy.
Starting point is 00:51:07 You can tell he's good. Yeah, he is a good person. You know, I saw Katie Thurston in the wild. What? Where? This past week at a party. I saw her at a party. What?
Starting point is 00:51:16 Oh, my God. What party were you at? It was Tim's Thanksgiving party. Oh, my God. Katie Thurston was at Tim Dillon's Thanksgiving? There was a bunch of people at this party, but Katie Thurston was at Tim Dillon's Thanksgiving. There was a bunch of people at this party, but Katie Thurston was there. I did say hello.
Starting point is 00:51:29 She doesn't know who I am, but I did, but I went up. I was like, hello. I said, no, I went Katie.
Starting point is 00:51:36 Well, she was outside at the time. So it wasn't weird that I was yelling. Thankfully I was with my wife. So it, I didn't come off as a creep, but I went Katie, Katie. And then she went what
Starting point is 00:51:47 And then I said I'm Brian And I worked on FBoy Island And then she immediately Changed to very positive We talked for three seconds But I did see her Was she there with anyone from the show No she was not She seemed to be hanging with some other comics Oh okay Was she there with anyone from the show? No, she was not.
Starting point is 00:52:05 She seemed to be hanging with some other comics. Oh, okay. Was Marco there? No, Marco was not there. And Benedict was not there. No, Mercedes was there, though. No, he wasn't. Wait, who else was at Tim's party?
Starting point is 00:52:18 Tim invited me. I was so sad I couldn't go. Was it a who's who? Tell us any juicy celebs. It was a who's who like tell us all the any any juicy celebs it was a who's who whitney was whitney there whitney was there yeah oliver was there and then uh there was uh kylie jenner was there i wasn't there when she was there no way yeah or which way i don't know which jenner actually the most famous jenner that kylie the page kylie jenner wait wait wait chris jenner the mother it might have been chris jenner i don't know i wasn't there daughter i
Starting point is 00:52:50 believe it was chris jenner okay that makes sense was she i believe chris jenner was there she 25 yeah okay did you have a good time yeah a great time it was well catered And just fun to talk to some people And walk around with my wife And be like what the hell is going on here Is this reality And Kris Jenner was there I can't wait to hear Tim recap this on his show Wait why was Kris Jenner there
Starting point is 00:53:19 Because Tim is connected Tim's got friends all over But isn't she like at her family's Thanksgiving I think it was the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:53:29 But yeah, no, it was great. Really good apple cider. And I mean, I didn't really like engage in conversation. Oh, Andrew was there also. Oh, Andrew Collin. Yes, Andrew was there. By the way, talking about engaging in things, Andrew Collin is engaged, everyone. Really?
Starting point is 00:53:45 Yes, he got engaged. You did not mention that. I think he got, no, because he got engaged on Thanksgiving. I think on Thanksgiving, like morning. I think is when I saw the news. Yeah, very exciting. Him and Brenna are engaged. Oh.
Starting point is 00:53:59 Yeah, I was totally shocked, but not also. I was like, oh, that seems like it's time. Yeah, because they've been together. I think it's been three years now. That's a long time. I remember their first date when he was going to meet her for their first date and he was nervous. Where was it? Here, in St. Louis.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Oh, yeah, because she went to school. That's why she was gone. I don't know what. No, she just worked here. I think she moved here after. I forget exactly what brought her here. But yeah, they met here and now they're in LA together. So congratulations to Andrew on getting engaged.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Yeah, congrats. Brenna wasn't at the party, but he was. Okay. Oh, suspicious. It was prior to the engagement. Okay, okay. It all worked out. So it seems like everything was probably pretty good.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Whatever was going on that night worked out. She was with Kylie. I had to do, out. I had to do I did a charity event on Wednesday for this group called Backstoppers that helps fallen police
Starting point is 00:54:56 policemen and firemen and their families after they have fallen and fallen meaning. Fallen? I think it's slip and fall. They say fallen soldiers for like what it really is. Yes, I mean. families after they have fallen and fallen meaning you know i think it's that's what they slip they say fallen soldiers for like what it really is yes i mean that's really interesting they needed a lawsuit for a slip and you know they do say fallen right they they say fallen but they don't
Starting point is 00:55:15 military for fallen soldiers yeah i don't do they say it for firefighters that fallen yeah they fell in battle they get like shot or burned or like a serious not just fallen it does feel like a little bit soldiers insulting to the soldiers who died yeah they're just like oh yeah he just tripped he just he just slid really slowly past like hit his head on a countertop so before he fell someone did shoot him in the face but he did fall after that. He died from a fall. Yeah. That's sauce. Killed by a gang of drug dealers and that
Starting point is 00:55:51 tortured him but he fell. Our stumbled soldiers. Yeah. It's not yeah once you investigate. Anyway it was for fallen I can't say it. It's for people, policemen and firefighters who have died in the line of duty
Starting point is 00:56:09 and for their families. It gives money to support their families. They died standing up. Yes. Maybe, I don't know. They could have been crawling or something. But they... So it was this huge charity event
Starting point is 00:56:22 where they all fight each other. They box. And it's like, it's a boxing event at the Enterprise Center, which is a huge, it's like where the blues play hockey. It's like a huge arena. So they force them to go through more trauma. Well, it's not really, I can't, I couldn't tell if it was actually cops and firefighters or just like people representing their sides. What? It better be. It was confusing because we don't really want to see just people representing their sides. What? It better be the real cops and firefighters.
Starting point is 00:56:45 It was confusing because we don't really want to see those people get beat up. I did see a knockout happen, though. Oh, God. It was wild to see. Does that mean they pass out? When you get a knockout, does that mean you actually lose consciousness? They get hit and then they hit the ground. They get stunned, pretty much.
Starting point is 00:57:04 Yeah. out does that mean they get hit and then they hit the ground pretty much oh yeah he just got he got a punch and then boom down lights out birds flying around tweety bird stars everyone like crowding around him he didn't get up for like three minutes that's how long he was on like like he got his a bell wrong and damage right there i literally felt that way and i was like oh my god what did i just see i really don't like what i just saw like this was this like big man who is so strong and capable and now he's on the ground like like he just was in a it was like in a watching it's horrible to see it i don't know why anyone likes this i would never but everyone i mean it was the highlight of the night for everyone who
Starting point is 00:57:51 was there to watch it people lost their fucking minds they were so excited about it it just made me kind of sick like to see how excited people get to see something so horrible because it wasn't supposed to happen like they this is a charity event i talked to the announcer later on he was like that's not what this event is about. Like, yeah, normal boxing, we love to see a KO. But, like, this kind of event, we don't want to see people get that hurt. Yeah, somebody that is going to need, like, weeks of rehab. It should have been called, like, 30 seconds before he, like, got knocked out.
Starting point is 00:58:17 Like, it wasn't supposed to get like that. But I really, I said to the announcer, I go, just on the side of the net, I was like, that fucking knockout. And I go, Jesus Christ. And he was like, yeah. And I go, is that he's going to murder his family in 10 years? Because of what I just saw right now? Is this guy going to shoot up somewhere? Like, are we going to? And he just looked at me like, he kind of, like, it was like kind of
Starting point is 00:58:38 a joke. He's like, no, he's a cop. Yeah, he doesn't have access to, oh, go. Jesus. They never kill a whole thing it was horrible to see but then he they took him through all the protocol and everything for concussion so but that doesn't
Starting point is 00:58:55 mean he's not concussed still like he's everyone's like don't worry if you got knocked unconscious I think by definition you were concussed right it was they just can't let him sleep tonight and then I watched this video but anyway if you got knocked unconscious, I think by definition, you were concussed. I think by definition, yeah. Right? It was, they just can't let him sleep tonight.
Starting point is 00:59:09 And then I watched this video, but anyway, the event was really actually so fun and it was live on TV and they just had me like, okay, you're just going to go talk to this guy and it's going to be live. And I was like,
Starting point is 00:59:19 what am I going to say? And they're like, just wing it. And I was like, all right. And it was, it was a lot of that. And Chris Pronger, who was a...
Starting point is 00:59:26 Yeah. But a little bit of details beforehand would have been nice. But you know what? I was like, you know, it's almost nice when you have an excuse to be bad because you're like, no one told me what to do. So if I suck at this, most people aren't going to know the explanation I have. But at least I have that explanation to myself for why I sucked. It was the worst thing is when I suck and I know I could have done better. But in this case, it was like I didn't know what to do and I wasn't really told what to do.
Starting point is 00:59:55 So it was kind of like, all right, but it ended up actually being really good and really fun. And and Chris Pronger, who plays for the Blues forever, and is like a local celebrity, introduced me, and we hung out backstage, and it was cool to talk to him, and what was I going to say? You've been to a lot of Blues games. What? You've been to a lot of Blues games now.
Starting point is 01:00:17 No, I think I've been to one or two. That's it? Which feels like a lot. Yeah. You've been to two this season. No, I haven't. I have not seen it. I have not seen a blue game this season.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Really? I thought there was a story where you're in a box season. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of. I was in a box for Taylor. You were just sad in St. Louis. I was,
Starting point is 01:00:36 yeah, I was in a box for Dave Chappelle and Chris rock. I was in a bot, but, and those were all at the enterprise center, but no, I went to a blues game maybe last year I think maybe I feel like the NHL
Starting point is 01:00:48 season lasts 24 365 so long um but it was it was oh but then I was watching the next day I was watching this um clip about kids like teenagers who committed suicide from
Starting point is 01:01:04 having CTE and it was like all these families talking about their 20 something year olds who committed suicide from having you know and then they find out later because you can't find if someone has cte until an autopsy that's the um thing you get from having multiple concussions football players get and then they murder their family like they not they murder themselves they just go fucking insane berserker yeah but you have to weigh that against all the kids who killed themselves for not being allowed to box or play football that's a good point yeah okay it doesn't always result in murder though i just want to say that no it doesn't that was me being hyperbolic and me being comedic about
Starting point is 01:01:41 something that is horrible um but no it doesn't. It results in them, I would say, losing their minds, though. It says, yeah, it causes the death of nerves in the brain. Oh. Known as degeneration. Erratic behavior, anger, that type of thing happens, too. Maybe not necessarily always murder, but it definitely changes your personality. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:03 If you have bad CTE. Yes. One of the best preventions for like conduct disorder and antisocial personality disorder and stuff like that. Is sports. Wait. If you have conduct disorder, antisocial personality disorder,
Starting point is 01:02:17 that's when you're usually going out and hurting people. Those people are violent. But sports, there's not really much prevention for it. So if they play sports, they can get it out of their system? Get out the aggression. But just don't get hit too hard. Yeah, Chris even told me when he played football in high school,
Starting point is 01:02:35 he got a concussion once and was kind of like, everyone was like, get back out there. It was just kind of like not taken care of at all. But all these people in this, I guess it was like this new york times like short documentary about um these people these football players in their 20s killed themselves and later were diagnosed with cte upon autopsy and i would say half of their parents were like my kid my son now is playing football like the question was like would you let them play knowing what you know and
Starting point is 01:03:02 they're like he loved it and it like, and then a lot, I was reading comments and people were like, yeah, kids love drugs too. Yeah, they love cigs, alcohol, drugs, candy. My kid loves Al-Qaeda. I don't know. Yeah, Al-Qaeda. So it was like
Starting point is 01:03:20 it's tricky, but it's like, watching football, it's so fucking gnarly, dude. These people get so hit. Thankfully, they are doing certain things to decrease concussions.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Like what? I don't think it's... There's this thing you can wear around your neck that pinches your neck a little bit so that less blood flow is going to your brain so that there's more room. And then, well, one actual proven thing. No, it really is. your neck a little bit so that less blood flow is going to your brain so that there's more room. That's great. And then, well, one actual proven thing. No, it really is.
Starting point is 01:03:49 Watch an NFL game. Certain players will have what looks like a I've seen that. A headphone thing around their neck. Don't they need that blood in their brain to be smart to run and play? I'm just kidding. No, you need to be
Starting point is 01:04:05 actually pretty intelligent. They have these other things called, I forgot what they're called, but they're like bubble helmets that they wear on top of their regular helmets. So it looks like they have gigantic heads. But don't they look so stupid then and everyone makes fun of them? They look really stupid, but that's just to wear during practice
Starting point is 01:04:22 during the preseason. They did a study where they wore them For like three or four weeks or something like that And it did wind up decreasing The amount of preseason concussions By something like 90% Jesus, but why wouldn't they have them All the time then?
Starting point is 01:04:37 Because it looks really stupid It looks really stupid Their heads are like five times the size They're wearing like balloon heads. They're like Thanksgiving Day parade floats running around. Or you know like at a baseball game where they have like the guy wearing the costume
Starting point is 01:04:54 and then he's like running down the field and it's like flopping back and forth. That's like what all the football players look like. It would make it harder to play. Well, harder to play because they'd be so ashamed of how they look. See, if it's just aesthetics that's really stupid and then they should have that but that's okay what i think
Starting point is 01:05:09 they're trying to figure out how to apply that i don't understand a lot of football like um why do they all have those little towels hanging off their backs because if they're playing capture the flag or something yeah no no no wait no these are, no. These are any... This is NFL. They have all the towels hanging off their butts. If you pull it, then you're a little naughty. I'm pretty sure the quarterbacks have towels to wipe off their hands if they're wet or sweaty.
Starting point is 01:05:35 A lot of them have a flapper. For better grip. Why do none of the football players do that hot thing that they all did in the 90s where their torso was exposed which i never even understood like why is everything else so padded and yet that like little sliver of stomach is just like they have like crop tops on why are why aren't they doing crop tops anymore do you see that that's oh my god that's not that big but it does look stupid everyone wore it it would look cool it looks like a corn head okay we have to go like little cartoons all right why is no one wearing the crop top anymore
Starting point is 01:06:09 brian i asked christmas i have no idea he said it just went out of fashion but that was such a hot look for some reason that really turned me on me too they still show off some of their calves sometimes some guys show up i want to calf. I want to see that hot fucking toned stomach with that big, all the padding above it and it crops off and you just see a sliver of their fucking tight stomach. Yes.
Starting point is 01:06:35 Just for stat correction, they're called guardian calves. They were worn during the preseason. They decreased concussions by 52%, not 90%. Okay. Well, I'm glad that you guys have to go into YouTube and see that is so ridiculous it looks like a
Starting point is 01:06:54 mushroom character from Mario he's dressed like a microphone like a little child who's like I'm a microphone for Halloween alright I would rather everyone die of concussions than look like that and I honestly think that I would like them to all aware that because i think men would stop thinking it's such a cool sport because it looks so nerdy just totally switch to baseball yeah all right well we gotta go thank you for listening to the show today we'll be back tomorrow
Starting point is 01:07:16 come see me um i'm doing my special taping in seattle so many besties are going i want you there too two shows the late show Is the one to get tickets to now The first show is pretty full right now 9.30 in Seattle On December 16th I'll be in Spokane December 14th I'll be in Brea
Starting point is 01:07:31 With Brian Frangie The weekend before that In California And then this weekend coming up I am in Toronto At Rama At the Casino I am in Munhall, Pennsylvania
Starting point is 01:07:42 In Pittsburgh And then I am in Detroit On Saturday night So I'll see you this weekend Don't Pittsburgh. And then I am in Detroit on Saturday night. So I'll see you this weekend. Don't be cut. And. Guardian cap. Oh, oh, because the Guardian.
Starting point is 01:07:53 No, no. Just do it. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show. Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to the Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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