The Nikki Glaser Podcast - #396 Is Crispin Glover Hot? Escaping Twin Flames, Weird Phobias & Avoiding CTE
Episode Date: November 30, 2023Nikki is reading a third of a new book called "Letting Go." She may need to use the techniques to calm her disdain for the cult leader on 'Escaping Twin Flames.' Taylor is nervous about getting sucked... too hard at the dentist, and Noa has a weird new phobia. Brian tries to give Nikki a new perspective on the end of the world and fills her in on Tim Dillon's Thanksgiving party. Remember to watch "Fboy Island" on the CW app. Nikki recaps a charity event she hosted where she witnessed someone get KO'd. This leads to a conversation about CTE in football that could be avoided with the help of funny helmets. Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free, and get exclusive bonus content: https://apple.co/nikkiglaserpodcast Watch this episode on our Youtube Channel: The Nikki Glaser Podcast Follow the pod on Instagram for bonus content: @NikkiGlaserPod Leave us your voicemail: Click Here To Record Nikki's Tour Dates: nikkiglaser.com/tour Brian’s Animations: youtube.com/@BrianFrange More Nikki: IG More Brian: IG More producer Noa: IG  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everything's working correctly. I know, it's so soothing. Let's get on with it. I'm going to do myself ASMR pretending to be you.
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Now I'm going to cut your hair with this scissor.
No.
I'm going to eat a big bite of spaghetti.
Okay.
Here's Anya in three, two, one.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast. three two one the nikki glazer podcast here's nikki hello here i am it's the nikki glazer podcast welcome to the show i'm nikki
glazer i'm here in st louis missouri um in my studio with taylor mcgrosh She's here. What's up, Tay? Hey, yo. What's up, Nick and Annie? Brian Frangie is here. He's in New York.
Hey, yo.
What's up, Nick?
Hey, yo.
And Noah is in Arizona.
Hi, Noah.
Hello, Nicky.
Oh, ASMR, baby.
We like those.
We like what's coming
out of Noah's mic today.
It was giving us ASMR
before the show.
He was such a soothing voice.
I never thought that about my voice.
I always thought it was like gross.
What?
You should be like a crisis explainer.
Or like when someone's family like blows up or something,
you should be like,
I'm sorry.
Yeah, it's got Noah on there.
I'm sorry.
Your family.
I thought you were told you should be like a Christ,
like advocate or like spread the word of Christ. Yeah, you should be like a Christ Like advocate Or like spread the word of Christ
Yeah you should be like an evangelist
Sorry to tell you
But where did he go?
Just rose?
I would have put it past an ASMR video to
Subtly insert messages from Christ
In the video
Oh for sure
When you're asleep
They wait until you're asleep
and then they start talking about it.
So it goes in there.
You,
because you,
Taylor,
you listen to ASMR, right?
Mm-hmm.
And what do you listen to?
I listen to Maria Gentle Whispering,
my idol.
I like tapping on wooden balls.
Yes,
and I can't stop thinking about it.
She came to my shows
in I think Sacramento,
I think.
Oh my God,
I love her.
She's a,
she's. If you're listening Maria I love you
is she Russian
she's Russian
yeah
I like tapping on
wooden balls
especially wooden balls
tapping each other
such as
wooden grapes
what do you like
I know what you like
well I've been very vocal
about what I like
but I
I don't like
when they are intentional
I like unintentional
yes
so I like it
when it's like accidental I don't like people trying too intentional I like unintentional So I like it when it's like accidental
I don't like people trying too hard
And that's my only thing
That I can't get into Maria Gentle whispering
Because most of her stuff is intentional ASMR
And it's like it's meant to be like this
But I feel like she's like Noah
And she kind of talks that way anyway
She probably does yeah
Because sometimes a lot of times she doesn't whisper
It's kind of just soft-spoken.
And she's explaining etiquette.
Right.
I've been listening to a book on tape to fall asleep recently.
But I'm trying to hear the book and learn from it.
It's called Letting Go by Dr. Hawkins.
Stephen Hawking.
No, it's Hawkins, I think.
But it's so good. And it's all about, it's like, no, it's Hawkins, I think. But it's so good.
And it's all about, it's like manifest stuff.
And it's also about letting go,
which is like my biggest issue in all of my life
is getting in my own way and not just relaxing
and letting things happen the way they happen.
But it's the book that I keep seeing everywhere.
That's like, I saw it in the book subreddit of like books that
changed your life and then i like i think i download downloaded a sample at that time when
i saw it like a year ago and then i saw it in the manifestation subreddit of like this is the book
to follow to learn how to do this reddits you up in like hundreds someone the other day asked me
for a recommendation of subreddits and i was like i can't even begin nowhere to begin i really don't
know i try to narrow it down all the time to with your favorites yeah if i if i haven't
looked at it in a while i try to delete oh yeah i get rid of ones a lot too because i just any
pop culture when you follow it's like shows you the worst of society ever everyone hates everyone
and no one's good enough and everyone's judgmental of everyone it's like people who like celebrities
are kind of the scum of the earth i think people who are obsessed yeah they really
are the worst i'm like i'm one of them i love celebrity culture but go to pop pop uh
it's like pop culture circle jerk that one's like that one's wild there's a
take out their own insecurities on other oh my Oh my God. You would think that these people that are in movies
are being upheld like they're the president or something.
This is just Sidney Sweeney.
She's just wearing a bikini in a movie and barely acting.
Sidney Sweeney wearing a bikini.
Yeah.
What do we expect of these people?
But we... They're just... It's not fair expect of these people but we we they're just it's not fair
but these people are so i just think they're the worst people in the world go look at any
subreddit about uh celebrities and you'll see the worst people i did look at the eddie vetter
subreddit that's because i was googling is eddie vetter hot because i couldn't determine on my own
from watching videos what did you did deduce from Googling that?
I liked his teeth, but early.
Did he fix on?
He might have.
I don't know, because I was looking up young Eddie Vedder.
You know how I'm doing it,
and I was looking up Rob Thomas videos.
Rob Thomas?
I saw some, and I was like,
his teeth are kind of hot, but his hair, I don't.
Eddie Vedder's hot, I think.
I couldn't decide.
Do you know Jeff Tweedy from Wilco? Is he hot? I don't know what he better is hot, I think. I couldn't decide. Do you know Jeff Tweedy from Wilco?
Is he hot?
I don't know what he looks like.
He's hot.
Then probably.
Yeah.
Who's the hottest person that you can think of besides your boyfriend, obviously?
My favorite are, I like Crispin Glover since grade zero.
Wait, Crispin Glover?
Doesn't he look like crispy?
Doesn't he look like angular? Yes. Okay. He looks sharp. Oh, yeahin Glover? Doesn't he look like crispy? Doesn't he look like angular?
Yes. He looks sharp.
And his eyelids, don't his eyelids look like
burn victims' eyelids?
Wait, hold on. I gotta look up
Crispin Glover. Look up young Crispin Glover.
Rob Thomas is a good one.
Jeff Goldblum. Okay.
I'm gonna forget someone really important and be really upset
about it. That is a sharp
man. Yeah, he's very sharp.
No, you like this?
He looks elven.
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
That's good.
He just was my first crush.
Actually, Rick Murray.
Vampiric.
This guy?
He doesn't look like he has any teeth.
Well, that's old.
Not now.
He's in plastic surgery.
Why'd he do that?
Why did he do it?
Save it for Reddit, Nikki.
I liked George McFly.
Oh, yeah.
That's really mean. I'm being mean. I'm being rude. See, you do it? Save it for Reddit, Nikki. I liked George McFly. Oh, yeah. That's really mean.
I'm being mean.
I'm being mean.
See, you participate in it, too.
It's fun.
It's fun to make fun of these people.
Commenting on their looks is good, but not their moral character.
Like, let them be bad people.
What?
What?
I think we should make fun of just how they look and nothing that they do or say.
Obviously, I said that.
And just men.
As a joke but no I
should make fun of men not women if someone's fat
or ugly you should just be able to yell at them
for it that's not what people are doing
on their stuff and I don't
think you should be able to do that that's not what I'm saying
but it's just like I wish I
could find people are just so hateful
and so I just want to see people
who write these things I want
to I want to bully them.
I want to do the same thing to them.
That's their problem.
Chris McLover deserves it.
I mean, how dare he go outside that sharp and not expect to be ridiculed?
What if he walks by someone?
That sharp-faced burn victim goes out in public and he dares be in movies?
No, I just, well, I think crisp, maybe i was thinking burn because his eyes don't look
like burn and by burn i mean like they have no eyelashes like that's what you're taught
opposite of mine okay so taught here's here's the thing i sound like such a bitch but i um
i was only commenting on the fact that he was the hottest guy she's ever seen. Like she said he was the hottest.
And so I'm just like,
I'm poking holes in that.
And he seems like a guy who's not listening to a podcast.
And so I don't think it'll get to him.
What if he's a huge bestie?
Oh my God.
I would feel so bad.
If he comments,
please.
No.
What's he doing right now?
Like what's he in?
Do you know?
You wouldn't even know if he knew. No. Wait, but in? Do you know? You wouldn't even know if he knew.
No. Wait, that doesn't make sense.
You wouldn't even know if he was in the hottest movie
right now or the hottest show, you wouldn't know about it.
Probably pretty hot. It burned his eyebrows off.
You don't.
Do you guys know about Twin Flames?
Have you watched Escaping Twin Flames?
Mm-mm. Oh, my God.
You would love it, Taylor.
It's this documentary on netflix about this fucking idiot
who started i hate him so much i've never i've never hated him any i've never hated anyone more
i don't think of any cult doc i've ever watched i didn't even want to watch this one but then i
just chris and i were kind of like had nothing else to watch and so it's about these two just morons who aren't even smart or charismatic
who created this thing called twin flames university and it's about people it's to help
find help people find their twin flame and at the university yeah why is it university well
sorry twin twin flames universe twin flames are
two people that are soul like soul it's another way of saying soulmate and it's helping you find
your soulmate and this guy started a bunch of other cults beforehand that didn't really work
and so you saw like the the framework for what he was trying to do with this and then he met this
woman and him and she changed her name from megan to shillelagh or something shillelagh shillelagh
so some it's shillelagh or john shillelagh she would yeah and they started a cult that is
questionably a cult because but it probably is he but anyway all these people join and they're all
just like sad women who want to find love and they join this
thing and go to these seminars and go to these zoom meetings i mean these people were zooming
long before the pandemic they're on zoom meetings with this idiot named jeff and i hate this guy so
much chris and i were watching it if you've watched twin flames escaping twin flames you
know how revolting he is he has long hair He thinks he's Jesus. What's his name?
Jeff Ayan.
A-Y-A-N.
I want to see a picture. And he thinks
he looks like
Baby Blue Starshine Wonder.
He has Baby Blue
Starshine Wonder eyes.
Baby Blue
Starshine Wonder.
If you've seen him,
you know what I'm talking about.
He has beautiful
Baby Blue eyes.
Oh, yeah.
Guys with eyes like that
are not to be trusted.
No, they always think
they're so hot.
I swear to God,
he's not as charismatic as his face even looks.
Like he's such a dude bro idiot.
He doesn't even speak eloquently.
He's infiltrated my head.
I can't even speak eloquently about how much I hate him.
He just tells, he yells at people.
He brags constantly about like, my wife, when I met her,
she was sleeping on a mattress in a trailer park. And now she's, look at people. He brags constantly about like, my wife, when I met her, she was sleeping on a mattress in a trailer park.
And now she's, look at her,
she's decked to head to toe in Gucci.
Like, and these people-
On a mattress?
And he's telling his followers this.
These followers that are spending all their money
on his programs and then any,
and then they start working for the company
and any money they make in the company,
he takes 50% and then they have to invest
the rest of what they make into getting coaching sessions
to learn how to be better coaches, to people find their twin flames at one point everyone in
the group is not finding a twin flame okay so so he decides they're all kind of like about ready
to drop out because they're like all these sad women on zoom like well i'm not finding my twin
flame and really like only two other people found twin flames and the whole thing are there men in the universe barely any so this is what they do
they then change the rules which is by the way chris pointed out that this is every how every
religion starts it's just two people that decide they want to fucking have power and they trick
everyone into joining them and following them and then they start modifying the rules to fit their
agenda and they start this is what j fit their agenda. And they start,
this is what Joseph Smith did in Mormonism.
He wanted to fuck younger girls.
So he was like,
I just got a message from God that I,
13 is the age that we should have wives.
And I just go,
Oh my God,
God just talked to me last night.
We're supposed to have more than one wife.
Like he kept adding things,
acting like he talked to God.
I got the golden plates.
You're a Book of Mormon. No, I haven't seen it. You didn't see Book of Mormon? Oh, well, I'm sorry I did talked to God. I got the golden plates. You're a Book of Mormon?
No, I haven't seen it.
You didn't see Book of Mormon?
Oh, well, I'm sorry I did that to you.
I hate when people do that to me,
but you should see Book of Mormon
or at least listen to this.
I totally should.
I know it's like life-changing.
It's the funniest musical that's ever been written
and most musicals are not funny.
I know.
So that's why I'm not that impressed by that.
It's funny at all?
Great.
I'll watch it.
It's the funniest poem I've ever read.
And so then,
so he realizes that like these people are going to leave.
And so then he decides like,
okay,
actually the only way you can find your twin flame is if they're in the twin
flames universe.
They have to be in our Facebook group,
like in our universe,
they have to be part of the program.
And then he gets him and Shalala,
like do a meditation for like all night long and they decide that they have been he's let now a
christ kind of prophet at this point and he's been given this message that he knows who everyone's
twin flame is now and so then he just puts out a list and he and it's all of them and but they
only have too many women so then they start making people they they go you you're now the man and you're the masculine energy and you
need to transition you don't need to but you know what you need to do like you need to so two of
them get top surgery they're not even it like forces people to become trans too many spoilers
oh my god i'm sorry i i should have spoiler alert hold Hold on. We should put it in an insert. I'll put it in an insert.
But I don't have to watch it.
You should have.
I hate this guy so much.
I've never hated anyone more in my life.
What about.
So I'm looking him up.
Twin Flames Universe is still active.
Most of these people have only dropped out in 2021 that are like talking shit on the
show that are like coming out with it.
This idiot gave all of the hard drive with all of their videos.
Every fucking Zoom meeting they ever did.
Every like personal seminar they ever did. Any YouTube video they ever did. It's all in the hard drive with all of their videos every fucking zoom meeting they ever did every like personal seminar they ever did any youtube video they ever did it's all in this
hard drive so the documentary has tons of footage which normally documentaries don't have so much
footage of all their meetings and i look up this guy's on instagram they have a kid now which i
think is just disgusting they're just they are they they they convince themselves that their
child is the next is a um is almost like a prophet like they convince themselves that their child is the next is a um
is almost like a prophet like they are and that their child will never have sex with anyone
it the child will only have sex with god and it's like it's a self-contained celestial being
and that this daughter named grace luckily they lost that child because that girl i think she
heard the plans going on and was like i'm out of here so that was an uptopic lost her she ran away yeah well they announced her pregnancy and then they
they built a nursery and wrote amazing grace everywhere they kept talking about how our
daughter's not gonna have sex with anyone she's gonna be a self-contained celestial sex being
that only has sex with god i mean they're talking about this a pre like a girl in utero and so i
think that baby was like i'm peacing out and so that
baby went jumped to another womb to another so that soul was gone and i when i heard she lost
that baby i was like that's the luckiest fucking baby to ever duck out of whatever it's going to
be born into but then she's pregnant then i go to their fucking instagram she has a baby now god
god help that child this these two are such
fucking nuts then okay the funniest part i'm so sorry for these spoilers but wait a second okay
so then i'm on twin flames universe and i'm like i find jeff's like you know his account and he
only has like seven thousand three to seven thousand followers not even after the show yeah
he probably got half of them from the show i don't think anyone would follow him after the show you're such a fucking moron to ever fall for
this and then to fall for it after the show you are one of the biggest morons on the planet like
i kind of hate you and i think that you deserve everything you got if you fall you don't deserve
anything you're one of the dumbest people if you fall for twin flames universe you i'm so sorry for
whatever happened to you to make you so fucking stupid. So you don't feel bad for the women who signed up
for this because it's kind of like on them.
Well, at the beginning maybe.
Well, I do because I don't believe in free will and I believe they were
born with dumb brains and bad parents
and a bad situation that made them fall for this.
So I kind of feel bad for the situation that they were
born into. But it is truly
like you have to be the
biggest idiot to fall for this.
And one of the girls is a molecular scientist is truly like, you have to be the biggest idiot to fall for this. And the, like, it's,
and one of the girls
is a,
like,
molecular scientist.
So she's not an idiot.
And she's even admitting,
like,
I don't know what happened to me.
Just desperate,
lonely.
Just desperate for love.
Yeah.
But this guy is,
there's no charisma coming off of this guy.
This guy is such an idiot.
At least fall for a charismatic co-leader.
I wanted to,
I wrote a message to him
and I wrote,
you are evil in all caps
because I hate him so much.
He's the worst person ever. And Chris was like, do not send him that. And I was like, I need him to know I hate him and I wrote you are evil in all caps because I hate him so much. He's the worst person ever.
And Chris was like, do not send him that.
And I was like, I need him to know I hate him.
I need him.
Did you do it?
And Chris was like, please don't do that.
He's going to use it.
He's going to use it.
He's going to use it to like strengthen his hold over these people.
He's going to say now the celebrities have like, or like he's going to use it in some way.
This guy only uses everything.
If you believe in manifesting, then he's going to take that and he's going to it in some way this guy only uses everything if you believe in manifesting
then he's gonna take that and he's gonna try to manifest stuff against you he's gonna make sure
you get a twin flame but it's gonna be from hell i didn't send it but let me just say i wanted to
i hate this guy more than i've literally ever hated anyone i he's up there with i don't even
want to say who else but he's uh there's a book you should read called um letting go i know i'm trying to
she just watched it i wonder if anyone i want to know if anyone else who watched the show hated
him with his i just look at him he exudes evil he's gross he's disgusting he's a bad person he
is so um materialistic all he talks about is oh Oh, and then. So I'll finish this up.
Spoiler alert.
His you see like the people in the group talking about their experience in it.
And you see them like before they got in it and pictures of them like early on in the group.
And then you look at them now doing the documentary and they've all they're all at least 50 pounds heavier.
Like it's like a huge they've a lot.
I would say almost all of them. All the women have gained a significant amount of weight since they entered and chris made a joke
while we were watching it he was like did twin flames universe like is did they like are they
like a hot dog company too okay so he just said some joke like that because we started noticing
like they all have gained a
significant amount of weight in a short amount of time then cut to twin flames universe did start
oh no he started another company called divine foods or some bullshit like that where it's god
god is god what god wants you to eat and he gets chef, Joey, to help him make all these foods.
And it's all the most fattening.
One of them is a hot dog and a wrap.
And so we were laughing so hard because one of the divine foods was a hot dog.
God's own penis. And everyone, this girl, and he makes you get the food plan and you have to make it yourself.
And you are eating like a lumberjack every day.
And so all these women gain a crazy amount of weight.
Why do you think he wanted to do that? Because this is what men do in a lotjack every day. And so all these women gain a crazy amount of weight. Why do you think he wanted to do that?
Because this is what men do in a lot
of times relationships. Because he wants to make them undesirable.
They want you to get fat so they aren't desirable to anyone else
and they're stuck with their twin flame.
But then if they are undesirable
and they don't get a twin flame, then they're likely
to leave because they didn't get what they're going for.
Well, if you make
someone vulnerable and feel unattractive
and like
make them gain a bunch of weight, they're gonna to have less self-esteem and they're going to stay.
Yeah.
It's how these people kind of think.
Because I've had friends before whose boyfriends want to get them really fat.
And I swear to God, it's because they make it like, oh, I'm attracted to women who are bigger.
Which is a thing.
I'm not saying if you're bigger, no one's attracted to you. I'm just saying
this is a thing that I've noticed
from abusive boyfriends
so that their partner
will not leave them and
will not be attractive to anyone else.
In their mind, that's what they think.
Or they make you lose weight, or
they're like, don't wear makeup,
or you should wear baggy clothing.
Right. And shapeless shift dress. You're just mine.'t wear makeup Or like, you should wear baggy clothing Right And like, shapeless shift dress
Nikki, on the spot, who is hotter?
Jeff from Twin Flames
Or Crispin Glover?
Don't you dare
Crispin Glover is so much hotter
But Jeff is not a bad looking guy
He looks like Frankie Muniz
When he cuts his hair
He's not a good looking guy
Let me show you a picture of him And you tell hair okay he's not he's not a good looking guy he looks like let me show
you a picture of him and you tell me if it's not baby blues there was a guy in our high school who
we called baby blue starshine wonder because his eyes no that's not a good picture of him that's
his wife though after i hate that's current oh god i hate him so much he looks like everyone in
the world frankie muniz looks kind he has kind eyes just because he has blue eyes i feel like
he doesn't really look like no he looks exactly like frankie and one of the shots in the show you'll
see he needs to this doesn't look like jeff to me that that picture yeah that didn't look like
jeff to me that's not the jeff i know evil jesus vibes yeah jeff is evil jesus and he he compares
himself to jesus he shows a picture of jesus he's like on these zooms with these poor people who
are so bored of their fucking mind on these zooms and he's like look at this picture of jesus he shows a picture of jesus he's like on these zooms with these poor people who are so bored out their fucking mind on these zooms and he's like look at this picture of jesus tell me
that's not me look at me and look he's this is baby blue stars he's the worst god his hair is
always either long or kind of long and i just i hate him if you're watching jeff you're the worst
person in the world you're truly scum there's no redeeming for
you you're the death you're so far from jesus you're the worst person stay out of my life is
the devil stay off my tv i don't want to see any more about you that's the end okay let's go to
break and come back and be more positive i'm gonna let it go i'm gonna let jeff go shalala get out
get out of that shalala you're also terrible, but yeah, get out of there if you can.
Save yourself.
And Jeff, you know, it's not your fault.
You were born with some fucking narcissist crazy parents.
Your brain is fucked, man.
Your brain is different than people's.
You didn't choose it.
If I were you, I'd be a cult leader too, but you're a sick bitch.
And we'll be back after this.
I have compassion for him.
I'm sorry, Jeff.
Let it go.
Let it go.
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Okay, we're back. I've escaped escaping twin flames. you get your podcasts.
Okay, we're back.
I've escaped escaping twin flames. I'm not going to talk about it anymore.
But Chris was really on me like do not
write him. I think you
should have. No. Maybe not your evil
just like you're an idiot. He said I could
talk about it on the podcast. He's probably the kind of
guy who loves any kind of attention.
So the fact that he's getting your attention
saying negative stuff is not going to i know if you say like i feel sorry for you that would be a
narcissistic injury to him and i do feel sorry for him then say that because that would make him like
man i feel actually maybe think i feel sorry for anyone who knows you i feel sorry like you're
gonna it's gonna end really badly for you you're going to
eventually push this until you do you're gonna get caught you're gonna end up in prison with
keith ranieri you know how it's gonna go how he gets busted and how he loses most of his his
spoiler alert how he people start dropping off is that he watches the keith ranieri doc the nixxiom
doc and he makes everyone in his in the fucking twin flames universe watch
it and then he goes write a book report on why i'm not a cult leader after you watch this and
do all your research and then they all do research and they're like we think you are
and then he makes them go on a 24-hour zoom with him before they he breaks them down to make them
think he's not it's really what an idiot what an insecure idiot just giving them the path to his own down and he wears the worst clothes too can you imagine where
like following a cult leader who wears a shirt that has like a a hairbrush with an x through it
like i don't brush my hair like a cartoon of my hair yeah don't care all right um taylor uh taylor's going to the dentist soon and she's scared no
oh god don't talk to me about that i know well she's not having no no don't do this to her
taylor if you don't know is mostly scared of the sucky thing no the sucky thing is nothing wait
all you have to do is just get sucked and then your fears will be over.
Just let it happen.
What's the fear of the sucky thing?
Have you ever had the sucky thing?
It's disgusting.
Of course.
You recognize that as an irrational fear, right?
It's not a fear.
If it was a fear, it'd be irrational.
It's just disgusting.
I have a new thing that I'm disgusted by that's just disgusting. It makes me even hear a gag.
I have a new thing that I'm disgusted by that's really odd.
Ooh.
That I wanted to share.
Yes.
To make Taylor feel better.
So the other day,
I was asking Avi
why some bald guys have a shiny head
and some of them,
it's like matte, right?
Oh, no.
I don't like this already.
This is going to be a new one for me wait why i mean
dennis is gonna have a matte head now i was just curious like why some tops of heads look like
shiny bowling balls and other guys can't get it even though like there's no hair it's not like
it's just trimmed like all the way down yeah it's just like that yeah some of this yeah it's just like like flat
and so we were talking about like different shaving techniques and i realized that
i i can even like think about it right now to say it i cannot think of someone taking like a big
plastic razor and shaving their hair like long hair i can't even stand it grosses me out so much well you don't
shave your long hair you have to take a buzzer and buzz it so you have a buzz cut and then when
it's very short then you shave it like you're shaving but still you could you could i have with
my thinking about even like taking a thing and shaving your eyebrow backwards. Wait, why are we... Okay, why is this
disgusting me as well?
By the way, sometimes
when I'm in the shower, I will be holding my razor
and done with my legs
and I'll just
move my hair out of the way
or something and I'm like, I got so close
to just going like
real quick. I get so close to
scraping my own eye out with it
i will not say what disgusts me but i'm also having those thoughts about hair and like
i don't want to even go into it it's wetness plus hair is the thing i like wetness wetness and the
hair combined like shaving and it's like trichotillomene not trichotillomene it's at them
you know how you hate little holes what are they all when they're all together yeah it's called
connect four i don't know no no those those are symmetrical holes these are holes that are all
different sizes like little like uh almost
look like little eggs oh i forget what it's called phobia trypophobia my mom has it my sister has it
i have it most people have it yeah so it's not a phobia well it's not but some people are totally
also did you know that it was um invented in 2010 no one ever spoke of it and then it became viral on Facebook.
Because it was used frequently for
ads, for you to click on ads.
Yes, they would do that all the time.
It attracted people's attention
because there was some kind of disgust for it.
Because it looks like rotting flesh
and so it should be disgusting to us
when you see a bunch of little holes.
That's why I like planner works.
Do you know what looks like rotting flesh? The stuff that is in whatever the sucker puts the stuff in the sucker
takes the stuff and where does it go in a rotting flesh pit somewhere wait what no are you worried
about yeah it just goes into the sink and then it goes down and it's in the drain all together
with the other why do you care about? That's what every drainage system is.
I don't like the drain at all.
And guess what?
It all goes down to the sewer and then it goes to a water treatment plant, gets filtered,
and then you wind up showering with that same water and brushing your teeth with that same
water.
That water that you're spitting that got sucked out of your mouth.
I'm serious. water that you're spitting that got sucked out of your mouth. Seriously. I don't know.
I now know the way society works.
It just went like...
Taylor
cleans my...
straightens up for me and unpacks for me
and yesterday you emptied my
trash bins that have tampons
and band-aids.
How do you handle that?
I didn't see a band-aid.
I don't touch the trash.
I put it totally within the bag.
And then you flip it.
Got it.
Jeff from Twin Flames takes a dump
in his toilet, flushes it,
and that same water that he'd pooped in
gets filtered through
our sewage system.
This is not good.
And then you wind up putting it in your water glass.
Brian, what do you just like everything or something?
Come on.
No, I'm going to find out what you don't like.
Brian has phobias.
What's your phobias?
My phobe?
Yeah.
Give me a minute to think about it.
You have so many phobes.
My phobes are air shows planes
flying too close to each other okay when they're in seatbelts buses and when a truck drives under
one of them bridges yes yes and big buses and people not wearing seatbelts and them because
they bounce around and kill your body no no i don't mind that bus because i'm not going on a
bus but if i was on a bus i would be worried about bus when in mexico and you wanted everyone else to wear that he wants everyone else to wear the seatbelt
yeah don't because she doesn't want our bodies i almost started crying well that's my well that's
my new thing for it because chris will go i don't care about dying from flying out of my seat i'm
like well okay you care about you don't care about yourself then what then it will hurt me so now do it for me or you're gonna have to be sad
when he dies what about that one um he does yeah he doesn't seem to think about that i'm always like
if you die everyone you love who you are protecting all the time you're yeah we're gonna be all so sad
um and it's so embarrassing i'm like if you die from flying out of a car because you
weren't wearing your seat belt no like it's it's like almost like dying of lung cancer when you
smoked your whole life like people are sad but they're kind of like well do we not see this
coming like it's an embarrassing wear your fucking seat belt it's so crazy that people don't do it
like to look cool he just doesn't yeah what is it i don't know look cool, he just doesn't think to. What is it? Lazy? I don't know.
He just doesn't think to.
I don't wear it if I'm going three blocks
because mine's hard to get to.
Well, that makes sense.
Three blocks, it makes sense. Because you're not going to get in a high-speed
crash three blocks from your house.
But someone might be high-speed crashing into you.
You don't know if there's a dragster.
That's what they always say in class.
They say, it doesn't matter if you're a good driver
You gotta watch out for all the other drivers
Yes, okay so what's your phobe?
Did you have time to think of it?
Gigantic pine cones in Culver City
That will fall on you
I've said this on the podcast before
But Culver City has these monstrous
Grenade like pine cones
I've seen them fall onto
Cars and dent their hoods and i just don't understand
why it would kill you instantly then i don't understand why any because it's rare to get
hit by a pinecone i look at the statistics it's very rare you googled it like crispin glover i
googled it like crispin why is he hot there's some a tree in austral Australia That has gigantic pine cones also
And that does kill like a few people every year
If they sit under it
But also falling tree branches and stuff like that
Can kill you too
So it's not just the pine cones
When you're camping or something
You always gotta look up at the trees
Before you set your tent down
Because if there's any sort of damage
That tree branch could fall on your tent overnight
And kill you
And I actually have a friend who died
Not a friend but a guy I knew
Who died because a tree fell on him and his family i was looking
at brain aneurysms the other night or i guess i came across the thing about it forget about that
i don't care about it i'm so lucky i'm not worried about it because it's you can't do
fucking anything i hope i go and i don't want to die in that way but i hope if i do go away it's
a similar way of that where it's like
you i know someone's gonna write and be like i've had a brain injury and they hurt a lot but like
i feel like it's pretty quick and i know that we're all if you survive it that's your worst
nightmare isn't it then you know you you have you're mentally incapacitated in some way oh god
no no no me no no no yeah i think that's what Luke Perry died from.
I wouldn't mind a break. I'll tell you that.
It's not a break. It's just an insane amount of extra work.
Yeah, no, no, no. It would be horrible.
You could have an aneurysm. You won't be able to use your left arm forever.
Oh, my God.
Well, the other night, oh, my God, I was on my balcony.
And I live on a very high floor up
Like you would not
No one would survive a fall from the floor I'm on
It's like above
How many floors do you think is like
Death zone? Probably six
Three?
It could be like three
Or you could be freak surviving 15
My dad fell off a roof
A four story roof and survived
Wow Did he break
his back yeah i mean but he he survived he was i think 16 or something but um i think it was
four stories i gotta get that story straight before he dies because it'll be sad for me to
not be able to retell it but um i think three stories let me say three so anyway um father
knight i was out on my balcony taking in the scene and i bent over to like pick up
something and i was holding a water bottle that didn't have a cap on it and so the water came
pouring out of the water bottle but i couldn't see it i just heard it and it sounded like a rodent
or something like the splash sounded like a and it startled me in a way that i like kind of stepped in a way not even close to like falling
off but like a more water or if it would have been hot or something like i would have reacted
in a way that i would have like could have tumbled and like fallen over the like it was so it was one
of those moments where i was just like i could have fucking died if you know just a freak accident
there's like things happen
that would have been called a suicide too because there's no no one would have understood
no one would be able to suss that together based on the water falling here it must have been
it would have been dry by then right yeah i promise you i will not kill myself without
leaving a note yeah okay so if I don't leave a note,
I am definitely murdered or it was an accident.
Okay.
Because that is just insane to not leave a note.
You got to leave it.
Yeah.
It's probably Jeff.
It was probably.
Oh my God.
Jeff.
After what I've just said about him,
he's coming after me.
That guy's scary.
He has guns.
I know it.
Um,
but yeah,
I,
so can I say something about the sucky thing?
Please.
Potential solution.
Yeah.
You might be able to get away with telling the dentist to just put cotton in your mouth,
like swabs in your mouth to absorb the saliva.
The whole point of the sucky thing is just to get rid of liquid when they're working on you.
So they might be able to just absorb it because they've done that to me before.
You should tell them the sucky thing. You a phobia of it you guys isn't biting every time yeah i didn't
want to bite yeah cotton is a thing you guys don't like either but it could go in the side
tell me that's every time you've gone under your tongue yeah every time i go to the dentist or
anywhere because i have oc, it's really annoying.
So I always have to have all these like, I'm so particular.
Sorry, I couldn't do something at the chiropractor yesterday.
Because everything has to be symmetrical.
They put these things on, they kind of electrocute you to like relax your muscles, but your face
has to be down.
And then when they put them on, sometimes they're a little off.
And then I just sit there tense as hell the whole time.
So I'm not relaxing. Because they're a little off and then i just sit there tense as hell the whole time so i'm not relaxing because they're not symmetrical yeah so but when i tell people
like can i just not do that then they just get so weird and like why why and then i have to be like
because i'm mentally ill and then they act like i'm care they act like i'm so good like they act
like you're trying to be like uh just i'm different yeah i'm special yeah
what are you monk yeah i feel like i'm fresh i think just say i have ocd and i think that
medical professionals have to kind of honor that and if they do think you're good isn't it better
than them thinking sometimes they do something like they'll go oh come on and do it more like
as a joke oh god or that happens pretty or they'll just be like
nah i'm a nice dentist or whatever i'm like it's not about it's it makes me i'm gonna be gagging
yeah they don't understand it's like yeah i bet people do that to you all the time because
ocd generally seems like such small things to anyone else like oh what am i this this light if i do this a bunch it's gonna
bother you and people are like no um or like yeah it really is fascinating how there are certain
afflictions that people take seriously and certain ones that don't like with the light flashing thing
if you had epilepsy and you said i have epilepsy yeah then they'd be like oh i'll turn off all the
lights but if you say i have ocd and you do the same exact thing. You're weird.
Or if you have electromagnetic hypersensitivities
or something like that.
Basically, if it's mental,
if it's considered mental,
it is not respected.
And if it's considered physical, biological,
all you have to do is vomit and seize
and then they'll respect your condition.
The other night I was feeling like
just my head felt like a balloon.
Like it felt like attached to my head and it was just like i just couldn't think and i was just like
i felt like i man this should be physically showing up on me in some way like i wish
i was like chris will you will you feel my head and see if it's hot he was like it's not i was
like god fucking damn it like because there's no i wanted to get out of something and i just really wanted sorry i have
balloon head i can't come yeah i wanted some kind of symptom i wanted to i wanted to be hot i wanted
to be have sniffles i wanted some kind of cough so that someone will justify it and so that it
doesn't seem like i'm just crazy i just say i have cramps or i don't feel good when it's really like
something is asymmetrical in my clothing oh no wait really like what do you mean it's symmetrical in your clothing like you can't go
out because like your jeans will be very overwhelmed by something like I'll tell you an example the
other day um I was making my bed and putting the duvet in the duvet cover but the duvet cover is
too big plus it's linen so it had like the hangy ball sack of skin
hanging and it wouldn't get symmetrical and I just flipped out it was like crying hyperventilating
and going the ball skin my boyfriend was like oh my god and I had like a moment of clarity where
I was like seriously this is absurd and then like i touched something with one foot harder than the other so i had to correct it then i just like i got in the shower
which i also hate but everything like was better because i had the realization of how ridiculous
the ball skin letting go the shower made it better thing might help you yeah the shower made it better
because i don't like showers so it was kind of like an exposure, but also I was going to wash off the balls.
Oh my God, Taylor.
That's Larry David's solution. He said
that in a New York Times article.
If you're having a problem, try taking
a shower. Have you taken a shower?
And then usually your problem goes away.
Or it seems
less bad. My showers are only
like 90 seconds long. Me too.
You gotta take longer luxurious
showers that would make a you know a third world country weep that's why i always feel bad in them
because i always end up thinking about those third world countries and how lucky i am and how
privileged i am and um yeah i can't relax but you have to think about it in terms of well okay so
here's something to make you feel better about the water and so like for example this year in california we had too much water because of all the rain
too much water uh so so much water that we couldn't it was coming down so fast that we
couldn't fill up our reservoirs with it because we just go drain into the ocean and it'd be nice
if we had better mechanisms for collecting the water blah blah blah but during that time
it was basically like if you didn't use the
water, it would just drain into the ocean.
So it wasn't like you're wasting water.
It was just like, use it or lose it.
And that can sometimes happen.
In America, when it's not a drought, when we're not
in a mega drought, frequently we have excess
water, and if it's
a rainy season, and you just gotta
use it, or else it goes into the ocean. Our real
problem is that we don't have enough methods for collecting the rainwater that's falling
the sucker could help we got too much water if you get a huge sucker buckets yeah you need a
sucker sucker when is when are we gonna start feeling when is it all gonna end where we're like
we have no water and well it already it was it's like it's
cyclic it was basically we were in a mega drought and we didn't have any water and if you did take
luxurious long showers then then you're an asshole because lake mead was quickly depleting and then
people aren't gonna have enough water to drink and then we have to stop the water coming down
and then mexico wouldn't get any water because colorado river goes all the way down to the rio
grande and down that's where mexico gets their water too did you know that stressed out watching football games when they're
on tv because i just can't stand i think a phobia of mine is huge groups of people and i think about
all the underwear they're wearing and all the like cups they're using and all like the dumb
face paint that they have on or like the dumb jersey they bought just for that day and i just
think of it in a landfill and i think of that one stadium has just created a giant all of no one's
going to be wearing anything they're wearing that day within like two years so within two years
everything that is being worn in that stadium will be in a pile and it stresses me the fuck
same with malls like or cruise ships oh my god ships they just
collect create waste and they literally just dump it into the ocean there's a documentary about that
christmas decorations just i see it all just like in a landfill and it just like even in this room
i see a bunch of landfill shit and i'm like it's filled with like forever 21 or whatever is the new thing now.
So many clothes of bad, ugly fashion. The human race is a disease upon this earth that only knows how to consume.
Right.
Yeah.
But what are we going to do?
What can you do about it?
You just have a good time.
You don't do anything about it.
You can't even find your reusable bags you like anymore.
No, you can't.
That would be great, but you have to buy new ones of those.
This is why you got to become a Republican.
I know.
They're doing the right thing.
Do you want to have a good time or not?
You're going to die anyway.
It's such a good point.
Just fuck all this shit.
Who cares?
Well, you want to be compassionate while you're here a little bit.
Who gives a shit about anybody?
I know.
They're kind of living the right way.
Just greedy, greedy.
You know we're doing enough.
We are doing enough.
And it's like we're not going to go and club baby seals and we do want to support the environment or whatever.
But we are clubbing baby seals.
The way we eat, we're constantly clubbing poor animals that we would never In a million years Do with our bare hands
But we let someone else
Do it for us
And put it on a plate
And then we eat
I don't know exactly
Clubbing baby seals
Well I mean
You club animals
All the
Animals are being clubbed
And mistreated
So you're a vegan
So you deserve the right
To not give a shit about
Climate change
Yeah that's what I'm saying
If you do one thing
Then you can
Relax
But it's really It's not about what you do I'm not talking about What you do i'm saying if you do one thing then you can yeah then you don't relax anything really it's really it's not about what you do it's i'm not talking about what you do i'm saying
donate to all the charities become a vegan support uh climate change research it's your mentality
change your mentality to just not to not care and have a good time so when you do things like
take a shower it's just like whatever i've changed my mentality to no news oh yeah i'm not reading my
dad tried to tell me about some shit about people somewhere trying to survive and what they're doing
to get water and food and it was so fucking depressing the other night when my sister was
tossing a salad we were all in the kitchen my dad like telling us what he heard on the news and we
were like ej why would you share that we can't do anything about it right now.
What are we supposed to do?
And so we just told him to shut up.
And I said, Dad, I can't handle bad news. And my dad was, then he sends me articles that we really can turn things around with climate change.
There's still time, which there's fucking not.
And I think we all know it.
Well, we can't turn things around, but we're not going to necessarily end the planet if we do things now yeah that's true it's but why are you suffering like your
take you're you're worrying about your showers and there's all these boomers in florida who
they're not worried about their because everyone has to do their part and and i can i can feel
i just because i i feel better caring about other people And being globally conscious
Sure sometimes I'm just saying
The onus is on you to care for everybody
Constantly so I'm not
Yeah
Yeah zevia cans actually
Cans are better than
Plastic we're not gonna also we're
Not gonna be able to do anything
Like even if you recycle every
Can you've ever had,
those are just going to get thrown in the landfill anyway
because China doesn't want our recyclables anymore.
We're not going to be able to make any real change.
Forrest, for his birthday the other night,
he's obsessed with construction.
His favorite book is about concrete mixers.
He just loves any kind of construction thing,
so he got a recycling truck the other night.
He came up to us.
He was messing around with stuff.
And he undid all this tape.
It was double-sided tape.
And he just undid a bunch of it and swirled it in his hands.
And then came up to his mom and was just like, look.
And she was like, wow, look at what you did.
He just wasted a whole roll of tape, right?
And so we're like, wow, look at that.
And we go, put it in your recycling truck.
Go recycle it.
And so then he goes and puts it in.
And I go, and then it's going to go to the landfill.
I go, does that recycling truck just goes to the landfill, right?
Like they all do.
And they're like, yes, of course it does.
But he couldn't get it off his hands.
He was freaking out because it was double-sided.
And he was just like, I can't get it off.
Babies are so stupid.
He's going to be in Twin Flames universe any day now.
Oh, he's so desirable, though. Everyone will love him. Look at his flame. He's going to be in Twin Flames universe any day now. Oh, he's so desirable.
Everyone will love him.
He's such a little Twin Flame.
I know.
All right.
We'll be back after this.
Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show
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like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. just like hit pause that's so good yes okay it really helps um so the last one that i watched
was the one where they reveal if they're an f boy or a nice guy yeah which everyone goes why would
you do that but when are you gonna watch i i don't have it you're gonna send it to me oh yeah okay
that's right it's so easy it's free on the cw app it's so easy it's on now? F Boy Island? Regular on? Yeah. The new one? No, F Girl
is coming up. F Boy is right
now. You're watching it again?
No. F Boy Island Season
3 is new.
Yes. It started
airing recently. Taylor is a microcosm
of America. Yeah. Wait,
what? It's a new one? No, I already
saw it. And where can you find it? I'm 65
year old. What's the CW? I don't have it.
Wherever we can find it, I don't have it.
If you have Roku, like if you have like a
smart TV, do you have a smart TV?
What?
I've done the phone. You think it was smart
TV? I don't even have a TV.
If you have a Roku and an account on
Hotmail, you can subscribe
to the email list that gives you a link.
It gives you a PDF with instructions
On how to watch F4
That you can log on to
And it plays
Check my MySpace
Check the third blog from October
If you happen to get the CW
You can watch the first two seasons too
It's all there
What am I going to put that app on?
She doesn't know where to put an app on
There's a man behind the 7-Eleven Who has a bunch of DVDs it's all there what am I gonna put that app on yeah she doesn't know where to put an app on put it on Colin's phone
okay there's a man
behind the 7-Eleven
who has a bunch of DVDs
yeah that's pretty much
the only way
that's the answer
I'm looking for
you can watch F apparently
anyway no
okay so anyway
so it was so fun
because
so Avi doesn't watch it with me
but he came into the living room
he ate his dinner
and it was the part
where they were revealing if they're F boy or a nice guy.
So every time they would come up, I would pause and I would be like, okay, do you think he's an F boy or a nice guy?
And he's like, well, I have to hear him talk a little bit.
So I only gave him a little because sometimes they say it right away.
And it was so fun.
And he got them mostly right, but he didn't get Mercedes right, which I
was like, are you serious?
Mercedes is the most deceptive of them all.
He's so deceptive.
Mercedes is a mastermind.
Wait, there's another Mercedes?
No, Mercedes is back.
Yeah.
No.
And everyone's like, you were an F boy last time.
But he did stay with Louise.
For how long?
Yeah.
And he split the money.
Split the money.
I don't know.
That was shocking. They were broken up within like a month, though, because we looked it up. Yes. He did stay with Louise for how long? He split the money. He split the money. I don't know.
That was shocking.
They were broken up within like a month though
because we looked it up.
Yes.
They were broken up pretty quickly.
Maybe not a month,
but it was pretty quickly.
So he's still F boy, I think.
Interesting.
Benedict also is there.
Twist.
Benedict is there too.
Benedict, my boy.
Benny is my favorite.
Wait, why is he your boy?
I just love boy.
Indiana, first of all. Oh, that's right. Colts fan, second of all. H He's my favorite. Wait, why is he your boy? I just love boy Indiana, first of all.
Colts fan, second of all.
Hottest guy on the show, third of all.
I love Benny.
Benny did have a glow up
this season, for sure.
He came back
0% body fat.
Yeah.
And he's a good guy.
I don't know if he's a nice guy or an F-boy.
I think he is a nice guy. But he's a good guy. He's a good guy. I don't know if he's a nice guy or an F-boy.
I think he is a nice guy. But he's a good guy.
You can tell he's good.
Yeah, he is a good person.
You know, I saw Katie Thurston in the wild.
What?
Where?
This past week at a party.
I saw her at a party.
What?
Oh, my God.
What party were you at?
It was Tim's Thanksgiving party.
Oh, my God.
Katie Thurston was at Tim Dillon's Thanksgiving?
There was a bunch of people at this party, but Katie Thurston was at Tim Dillon's Thanksgiving. There was a bunch of people at this party,
but Katie Thurston was there.
I did say hello.
She doesn't know who I am,
but I did,
but I went up.
I was like,
hello.
I said,
no,
I went Katie.
Well,
she was outside at the time.
So it wasn't weird that I was yelling.
Thankfully I was with my wife.
So it,
I didn't come off as a creep,
but I went Katie,
Katie. And then she went what
And then I said I'm Brian
And I worked on FBoy Island
And then she immediately
Changed to very positive
We talked for three seconds
But I did see her
Was she there with anyone from the show
No she was not She seemed to be hanging with some other comics Oh okay Was she there with anyone from the show? No, she was not.
She seemed to be hanging with some other comics.
Oh, okay.
Was Marco there?
No, Marco was not there.
And Benedict was not there.
No, Mercedes was there, though.
No, he wasn't.
Wait, who else was at Tim's party?
Tim invited me.
I was so sad I couldn't go.
Was it a who's who?
Tell us any juicy celebs. It was a who's who like tell us all the any any juicy celebs it was a who's who
whitney was whitney there whitney was there yeah oliver was there and then uh there was uh kylie
jenner was there i wasn't there when she was there no way yeah or which way i don't know which jenner
actually the most famous jenner that kylie the page kylie jenner wait wait wait
chris jenner the mother it might have been chris jenner i don't know i wasn't there daughter i
believe it was chris jenner okay that makes sense was she i believe chris jenner was there she 25
yeah okay did you have a good time yeah a great time it was well catered And just fun to talk to some people
And walk around with my wife
And be like what the hell is going on here
Is this reality
And Kris Jenner was there
I can't wait to hear Tim recap this on his show
Wait why was Kris Jenner there
Because Tim is connected
Tim's got friends all over
But isn't she like at her family's Thanksgiving
I think it was the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
But yeah, no, it was great.
Really good apple cider.
And I mean, I didn't really like engage in conversation.
Oh, Andrew was there also.
Oh, Andrew Collin.
Yes, Andrew was there.
By the way, talking about engaging in things, Andrew Collin is engaged, everyone.
Really?
Yes, he got engaged.
You did not mention that.
I think he got, no, because he got engaged on Thanksgiving.
I think on Thanksgiving, like morning.
I think is when I saw the news.
Yeah, very exciting.
Him and Brenna are engaged.
Oh.
Yeah, I was totally shocked, but not also.
I was like, oh, that seems like it's time.
Yeah, because they've been together.
I think it's been three years now.
That's a long time.
I remember their first date when he was going to meet her for their first date and he was nervous.
Where was it?
Here, in St. Louis.
Oh, yeah, because she went to school.
That's why she was gone.
I don't know what.
No, she just worked here.
I think she moved here after.
I forget exactly what brought her here.
But yeah, they met here and now they're in LA together.
So congratulations to Andrew on getting engaged.
Yeah, congrats.
Brenna wasn't at the party, but he was.
Okay.
Oh, suspicious.
It was prior to the engagement.
Okay, okay.
It all worked out.
So it seems like everything was probably pretty good.
Whatever was going on that night worked out.
She was with Kylie.
I had to do, out. I had to do
I did a charity event on Wednesday
for
this group called
Backstoppers that helps
fallen police
policemen
and firemen and their families
after they have fallen and fallen meaning.
Fallen?
I think it's slip and fall.
They say fallen soldiers for like what it really is. Yes, I mean. families after they have fallen and fallen meaning you know i think it's that's what they slip they
say fallen soldiers for like what it really is yes i mean that's really interesting they needed
a lawsuit for a slip and you know they do say fallen right they they say fallen but they don't
military for fallen soldiers yeah i don't do they say it for firefighters that fallen yeah they fell
in battle they get like shot or burned or like a serious not just fallen
it does feel like a little bit soldiers insulting to the soldiers who died yeah
they're just like oh yeah he just tripped he just he just slid really slowly past like
hit his head on a countertop so before he fell someone did shoot him in the face but he did fall after that. He died from a fall.
Yeah. That's sauce.
Killed by a gang of drug
dealers and that
tortured him but he fell.
Our stumbled soldiers.
Yeah. It's not
yeah once you investigate. Anyway
it was for fallen
I can't say it. It's for
people, policemen and firefighters
who have died in the line of duty
and for their families.
It gives money to support their families.
They died standing up.
Yes.
Maybe, I don't know.
They could have been crawling or something.
But they...
So it was this huge charity event
where they all fight each other.
They box.
And it's like, it's a boxing event at the Enterprise Center, which is a huge, it's like where the blues play hockey.
It's like a huge arena.
So they force them to go through more trauma.
Well, it's not really, I can't, I couldn't tell if it was actually cops and firefighters or just like people representing their sides.
What?
It better be. It was confusing because we don't really want to see just people representing their sides. What? It better be the real cops and firefighters.
It was confusing because we don't really want to see those people get beat up.
I did see a knockout happen, though.
Oh, God.
It was wild to see.
Does that mean they pass out?
When you get a knockout, does that mean you actually lose consciousness?
They get hit and then they hit the ground.
They get stunned, pretty much.
Yeah. out does that mean they get hit and then they hit the ground pretty much oh yeah he just got he got
a punch and then boom down lights out birds flying around tweety bird stars everyone like
crowding around him he didn't get up for like three minutes that's how long he was on like
like he got his a bell wrong and damage right there
i literally felt that way and i was like oh my god what did i just see i really don't like what
i just saw like this was this like big man who is so strong and capable and now he's on the ground
like like he just was in a it was like in a watching it's horrible to see it i don't know why anyone
likes this i would never but everyone i mean it was the highlight of the night for everyone who
was there to watch it people lost their fucking minds they were so excited about it it just made
me kind of sick like to see how excited people get to see something so horrible because it wasn't
supposed to happen like they this is a charity event i talked to the announcer later on he was
like that's not what this event is about.
Like, yeah, normal boxing, we love to see a KO.
But, like, this kind of event, we don't want to see people get that hurt.
Yeah, somebody that is going to need, like, weeks of rehab.
It should have been called, like, 30 seconds before he, like, got knocked out.
Like, it wasn't supposed to get like that.
But I really, I said to the announcer, I go, just on the side of the net, I was like, that fucking knockout. And I go, Jesus
Christ. And he was like, yeah. And I go,
is that he's going to murder his family in 10 years?
Because of what I just saw right now?
Is this guy going to shoot up somewhere?
Like, are we going to? And he just looked at me like,
he kind of, like, it was like kind of
a joke. He's like, no, he's a cop.
Yeah, he doesn't have
access to, oh, go.
Jesus. They never kill a whole thing
it was horrible to see
but then he they took him through
all the protocol and everything for
concussion so but that doesn't
mean he's not concussed
still like he's
everyone's like don't worry
if you got knocked unconscious I think by definition
you were concussed
right it was they just can't let him sleep tonight and then I watched this video but anyway if you got knocked unconscious, I think by definition, you were concussed. I think by definition, yeah. Right?
It was,
they just can't let him sleep tonight.
And then I watched this video,
but anyway,
the event was really actually so fun and it was live on TV
and they just had me like,
okay,
you're just going to go talk to this guy
and it's going to be live.
And I was like,
what am I going to say?
And they're like,
just wing it.
And I was like,
all right.
And it was,
it was a lot of that.
And Chris Pronger, who was a...
Yeah.
But a little bit of details beforehand would have been nice.
But you know what?
I was like, you know, it's almost nice when you have an excuse to be bad because you're like, no one told me what to do.
So if I suck at this, most people aren't going to know the explanation I have.
But at least I have that explanation to myself for why I sucked.
It was the worst thing is when I suck and I know I could have done better.
But in this case, it was like I didn't know what to do and I wasn't really told what to do.
So it was kind of like, all right, but it ended up actually being really good and really fun.
And and Chris Pronger, who plays for the Blues forever, and is like a local celebrity, introduced me,
and we hung out backstage,
and it was cool to talk to him,
and what was I going to say?
You've been to a lot of Blues games.
What?
You've been to a lot of Blues games now.
No, I think I've been to one or two.
That's it?
Which feels like a lot.
Yeah.
You've been to two this season.
No, I haven't.
I have not seen it.
I have not seen a blue game this season.
Really?
I thought there was a story where you're in a box season.
Oh,
that's what I'm thinking of.
I was in a box for Taylor.
You were just sad in St.
Louis.
I was,
yeah,
I was in a box for Dave Chappelle and Chris rock.
I was in a bot,
but,
and those were all at the enterprise center,
but no,
I went to a blues game maybe last year I think
maybe I feel like the NHL
season lasts 24
365 so long
um but it was
it was oh but then I was watching
the next day I was watching this
um clip about
kids like
teenagers who committed suicide from
having CTE and it was like all these families
talking about their 20 something year olds who committed suicide from having you know and then
they find out later because you can't find if someone has cte until an autopsy that's the um
thing you get from having multiple concussions football players get and then they murder their
family like they not they murder themselves they just go fucking insane berserker
yeah but you have to weigh that against all the kids who killed themselves for not being allowed
to box or play football that's a good point yeah okay it doesn't always result in murder though i
just want to say that no it doesn't that was me being hyperbolic and me being comedic about
something that is horrible um but no it doesn't. It results in them, I would say, losing their minds, though.
It says, yeah, it causes the death of nerves in the brain.
Oh.
Known as degeneration.
Erratic behavior, anger, that type of thing happens, too.
Maybe not necessarily always murder,
but it definitely changes your personality.
Yeah.
If you have bad CTE.
Yes.
One of the best preventions for like conduct disorder
and antisocial personality disorder and stuff like that.
Is sports.
Wait.
If you have conduct disorder,
antisocial personality disorder,
that's when you're usually going out and hurting people.
Those people are violent.
But sports,
there's not really much prevention for it.
So if they play sports, they can get it out of their system?
Get out the aggression.
But just don't get hit too hard.
Yeah, Chris even told me when he played football in high school,
he got a concussion once and was kind of like,
everyone was like, get back out there.
It was just kind of like not taken care of at all.
But all these people in this,
I guess it was like this new york times like short
documentary about um these people these football players in their 20s killed themselves and later
were diagnosed with cte upon autopsy and i would say half of their parents were like my kid my son
now is playing football like the question was like would you let them play knowing what you know and
they're like he loved it and it like, and then a lot, I was
reading comments and people were like, yeah, kids love drugs
too.
Yeah, they love cigs,
alcohol, drugs,
candy. My kid loves
Al-Qaeda. I don't know.
Yeah, Al-Qaeda. So it was like
it's tricky,
but it's like, watching football,
it's so
fucking gnarly, dude.
These people get so hit.
Thankfully, they are
doing certain things to decrease
concussions.
Like what?
I don't think it's...
There's this thing you can wear around your neck that
pinches your neck a little bit so that
less blood flow is going to your brain
so that there's more room.
And then, well, one actual proven thing. No, it really is. your neck a little bit so that less blood flow is going to your brain so that there's more room. That's great.
And then, well, one actual proven thing. No, it really is.
Watch an NFL game. Certain players
will have what looks like a
I've seen that.
A headphone thing around their neck. Don't they need
that blood in their brain
to be smart to run
and play?
I'm just kidding. No, you need to be
actually pretty intelligent.
They have these other things called, I forgot
what they're called, but they're like bubble helmets that they wear
on top of their regular helmets. So it looks like they
have gigantic heads. But don't they look so
stupid then and everyone makes fun of them?
They look really stupid, but that's just to wear
during practice
during the preseason.
They did a study where they wore them
For like three or four weeks or something like that
And it did wind up decreasing
The amount of preseason concussions
By something like 90%
Jesus, but why wouldn't they have them
All the time then?
Because it looks really stupid
It looks really stupid
Their heads are like five times the size
They're wearing like balloon heads.
They're like Thanksgiving Day parade floats
running around.
Or you know like at a baseball game
where they have like the guy wearing the costume
and then he's like running down the field
and it's like flopping back and forth.
That's like what all the football players look like.
It would make it harder to play.
Well, harder to play because they'd be so ashamed
of how they look.
See, if it's just
aesthetics that's really stupid and then they should have that but that's okay what i think
they're trying to figure out how to apply that i don't understand a lot of football like um why do
they all have those little towels hanging off their backs because if they're playing capture
the flag or something yeah no no no wait no these are, no. These are any... This is NFL. They have all the towels hanging
off their butts. If you pull it, then you're
a little naughty.
I'm pretty sure the quarterbacks
have towels to wipe off
their hands if they're wet or sweaty.
A lot of them have a flapper.
For better grip.
Why do none of the
football players do that hot thing that they
all did in the 90s where their torso was exposed which i never even understood like why is everything else so
padded and yet that like little sliver of stomach is just like they have like crop tops on why are
why aren't they doing crop tops anymore do you see that that's oh my god that's not that big
but it does look stupid everyone wore it it would look cool it looks like a corn head okay we have to go like little cartoons all right why is no one wearing the crop top anymore
brian i asked christmas i have no idea he said it just went out of fashion but that was such a hot
look for some reason that really turned me on me too they still show off some of their calves
sometimes some guys show up i want to calf. I want to see that hot fucking
toned stomach with that
big, all the
padding above it and it crops
off and you just see a sliver of their
fucking tight stomach. Yes.
Just for stat correction, they're called
guardian calves. They were worn during the
preseason. They decreased concussions
by 52%, not 90%.
Okay. Well, I'm glad that
you guys have to go into YouTube and see
that is so ridiculous
it looks like a
mushroom character from Mario
he's dressed like a microphone like a little child who's like
I'm a microphone for Halloween
alright I would rather everyone die
of concussions than look like that
and I honestly think that I would like them to all aware that because i think men would
stop thinking it's such a cool sport because it looks so nerdy just totally switch to baseball
yeah all right well we gotta go thank you for listening to the show today we'll be back tomorrow
come see me um i'm doing my special taping in seattle so many besties are going i want you
there too two shows the late show Is the one to get tickets to now
The first show is pretty full right now
9.30 in Seattle
On December 16th
I'll be in Spokane
December 14th
I'll be in Brea
With Brian Frangie
The weekend before that
In California
And then this weekend coming up
I am in Toronto
At Rama
At the Casino
I am in Munhall, Pennsylvania
In Pittsburgh
And then I am in Detroit
On Saturday night So I'll see you this weekend Don't Pittsburgh. And then I am in Detroit on Saturday night.
So I'll see you this weekend.
Don't be cut.
And.
Guardian cap.
Oh, oh, because the Guardian.
No, no.
Just do it.
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